#talking about her like she is like she is the mother (dyke) i never had she is the sister everybody would want she is the friend that

[therosevest]

i feel like i’m crazy i’m in love with her!!

[hard--headed--woman]

radblr is a lesbophobic hell. no wonder why many lesbians don't want to have anything to do with radical feminism no matter how you claim not to support the traditional lesbophobic ideas spread by early radical feminism. you are quick to call TRAs lesbophobic but even quicker to hate on goldstar lesbians, because god forbid a LESBIAN never had sex with a man, of course then she's the bad guy and a mean girl, of course then she should shut up about her experience, of course then she's the enemy. you use lesbophobia and lesbians as a pawn for your anti gender ideology debates but you are the first ones to call lesbians names and act like we're heterophobic privileged evil women when we talk about female separatism, because uwu my boyfriend isn’t like that and it's horrible to suggest that women can live without dating men, lesbians of course don't understand ! you criticize conservative homophobia but as soon as there is an issue on radblr you blame lesbians. you spend your time saying that looking at women makes us the same as misogynistic men. you not even try to hide the fact that you think we have a privilege over you and aren't real women. so many of you don't even believe exclusive same sex attraction exists and it shows. so many of you spend your time saying things like "omg step on me mother" but are uncomfortable with lesbian sexuality. so many of you are however way to comfortable with the word dyke. and you know what i am gonna say it, a huge amount of "lesbians" on radblr are political lesbians and i don't care if it offends you. i am tired of your bullshit.

[furiroad]

Furiosa spoilers under the cut 🚗

It's actually staggering how much that movie did not need to exist. Gonna bullet point some thoughts

My sarcastic lol @ the lightning fast sisters cameo at the end where they're all played by completely different people. the quick flash of Cheedo's eyes bc they managed to get Courtney Eaton back for three seconds didn't appease me

I guess it technically passes the bechdel test bc right at the start Furiosa says "be still" to Valkyrie but iirc that's the only pass moment. I know not passing the bechdel test doesn't mean the movie is automatically bad I just think it's interesting considering it's following Fury Road

"she talks to her mother" I don't think they ever said her mum's name out loud

You know how mad max fury road could have a silent version w no dialogue + isolated soundtrack and it worked because you could tell what's going on anyway? This movie has the opposite problem. Way too much talking. They over-explain everything

The best bit was the prolonged torture scene at the end where Hemsworth explains Furiosa's entire character arc and the message of the movie out loud to her and also us

Even his teddy had an arm missing, replaced with a barbie arm. Thanks. We get it

Her arm made robot noises

Actually threw MY arms up in disgust when she went back for that boy she supposedly had a romance with despite the film never bothering to actually show/explain that. I'm calling it a romance because the actors did. I guess it was supposed to be a Capable/Nux parallel but it didn't work for me and not just because I'm a dyke and a hater OK, if you're gonna do a ROMANCE, DO A ROMANCE. don't leave me sitting there wondering why Furiosa is risking it all for some guy she's had ONE conversation with, especially after he offers to get her away from the Citadel and back to where she came from, WHICH IS HER ENTIRE MOTIVE EVER SINCE SHE WAS TAKEN

I DON'T GET IT

Them trying to emulate Max and Furiosa's instinctive, perfect we have to trust each other moment by having Jack and Furiosa... look at each other Meaningfully fifty times while they were supposed to be driving cars? Don't make me laugh! You will never be them!!

Max being there for a second wasn't cute! I rolled my eyes

Same at "remember me?" MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF

So many things happened because they needed to happen (plot demanded it) and didn't make any sense in context. My favourite was when Furiosa rode her motorcycle up a dune to get away after cutting off her arm and the biker gang couldn't follow her up there for some reason

So much Christian imagery... threw me off tbh

Considering it's Furiosa's movie it sure isn't about her + she doesn't speak at all for almost the first half

This movie was way too long

I called it about the peach seed

I called it that she cut her own arm off

George Miller read some of my blog but not all of it

You know how The People Eater rubbed his nipple that one time and it was delightfully weird and gross and got a good reaction? Well in this movie he's constantly rubbing it, the whole time. Really lessens the impact of the nipple rub

As you can see this movie has made me insane

Like this is not really about the nipple rub but do you get what I'm saying here

Furiosa spends most of the movie hiding her hair (because as we all know, having long hair immediately identifies you as a woman) and then when her head covering gets knocked off and her hair is revealed (omg she's a girl) she leaves it like that and becomes an Imperator. On what planet

The history man frames the entire movie for some reason. Do they show Miss Giddy? Take a wild guess

One of the coolest parts of fury road was that a gang of bikers ended up being hardcore wasteland grannies w guns and loose morals in response to people fucking around for far too long without finding out. Did this movie have anything like that for me? Take a wild guess for a second time

The car fight scenes weren't even that great. Couldn't remember hearing any good music under them (brother in arms truly lightning in a bottle) and they went on for too long which feels wild to say about suped up car battles in the australian wasteland: 2 but oh well. This is how I feel. Fury Road was so good at carefully measuring out high octane action and then downtime and careful, quiet character introspection and this movie had no idea what it was doing either way

Honestly I don't hate it but I feel like it was a waste of time and it doesn't need to exist at all. A real nothing experience. Am I going to see this movie ten times in cinemas? No I am not even going to see it twice in cinemas

I don't know what I was expecting.

oh my god also they played clips of Fury Road over the credits as if to say "remember how fucking good this is in comparison to the dumb shit you just watched"

[vacantvisage]

My portrait at Mi Vida Trans

A project featuring portraits of Chicano trans mascs put on doors with our stories taped to the side, red carnations left at our doorsteps

I did my story as a poem:

MI VIDA TRANS

I had thought about my gender at an early age. About 5 or 6. Kindergarten.

I wasn’t like the girls.

I wanted to be like the boys, but they told me I was gross, that boys don’t play with girls.

I never really felt “like a girl” even when I knew a “girl” could be a lot of things.

I didn’t feel at home in my body.

.

When I told myself I was going to be a boy, I was 10 years old.

In the small, rural towns full of white folks, I was the Weird Kid and the Mexican.

Eventually I became the Queer Kid, too.

I told my friends I wanted to be a boy.

They told a teacher. That teacher told the principal.

The principal called me. He said “we don’t talk about that here.”

I was given detention.

I looked up “girl becomes boy” and “how to become a boy” and so much more until I found a website with a big, ugly gray background and giant red letters that said “ TRANSEXUAL”

It talked about people who had surgery and lived lives as a different sex.

Girls that became boys. Boys that became girls. Neutrois who did what they wanted.

I printed it, 25 pages, front and back, a hundred times until the library ran out of ink.

I passed out the packets.

I was given detention.

I was called a tranny-fag-dyke. I was 15.

Girls were afraid of me in the locker room, boys spat on me, my teachers gave me failing grades.

Everyone and everything was trying to confine me, trap me, I wasn’t allowed to explore my identity without being pushed from all directions. It made me realize I will always be a pariah to my peers. I had to own it or die trying.

I came out to everyone, everywhere, all the time. I was given detention, kept after school, my parents yelled and screamed at me when they found out. It was a monsoon of rage and sorrow, I was trapped trying to be free.  

Alternative subculture became a new home to me. I could find peace exploring different standards of beauty, masculinity, and femininity. Goth and metal subculturas helped me stealth both as a trans man and a Latino, where white people think celebrating the dead is evil, morbid, and grotesque.

My mother said if I was “really” a boy I should get rid of all my clothes and makeup and live like one for a year. I put everything in boxes. She called me a rat.

My father said if I was “really” a boy I should cut my hair. I cried, but I did. I cut all my hair, 5ft of it. And I cried. And cried. Our hair means so much, it carries our soul. And he called me a cunt.

I told my best friend. She said she could never see me as a man. We’re no longer friends.

I told my teacher. She told me to tell another teacher. They both told me to tell the nurse.

The nurse told me I was brave and if I ever needed help I could ask her.

They fired her.

I heard all the words for what I was, good and bad and everything between. Transexual, Transgender, Tranny, Fag, Dyke — Patlache.

I hunted for more, more knowledge of these secret lives that people lived, and even more of the open lives that people lived – people like me who found peace in their souls and friends among peers.

I started college.

Without my parents looking over my shoulder I could finally play with the names I wanted. 

I made friends with a trans girl who showed me how to be a boy, and I showed her how to be a girl.

I did her makeup, she tied my tie.

I gave her my dresses, she gave me her vests.

And I finally started to feel at home in my body.

.

I have long hair again.

I say “dear” and “darling” and all the things I heard from gay men growing up.

As a girl I was taught to be loud, to have my voice heard.

As a girl, it’s encouraged, to fight against oppression.

As a new-man I’m told to shut up and sit down.

No one wants to hear more men speak up, even when we’re drowning.

But I’m feminine for a man, so people call me a girl.

And I’m masculine for a girl, so people call me disgusting.

It doesn’t matter anymore.

I will never win this silly game of life. I can only live it the best I can.

And I’m so close to feeling at home in my body.

But still — not yet.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

i might be overstepping but from your tags you seem completely miserable in your relationship. i know you said things are fine but from my outside perspective as someone who doesn't know you, you do not seem happy at all. and if you're desiring other women that's a huge red flag. it means you're already checked out on some level, even if you're not physically being disloyal to her. i think you know this isn't going anywhere and you know it's going to end so i would prepare for that mentally now

You're not overstepping. I appreciate the honesty, and I've been thinking about this a lot and talking about it ad nauseum with a multitude of friends.

I have to disagree with you saying that I'm completely miserable. That's a bit harsh. I'm going to see her next Thursday and I'm excited about it. I don't think that's indicative of misery at all. I do think I'm fairly unhappy tho. And I unfortunately agree that I'm at least partially checked out of the relationship. Outside of desiring other women, I've noticed I don't really tell her things. I'm not saying I keep secrets, but if something is on my mind, she's not the first person I want to tell. I always go to someone else.

It's just difficult because we do have a stable relationship. We don't fight. We've never had a huge fight in almost 5 years. Like. That's a very long time to consistently be on good terms with someone. It doesn't feel like we ever really left the "honeymoon phase." We have always been extremely sweet to each other and in tune. I always thought that people break up after a lot of anger and nastiness. I never really considered that things could just kinda... Fizzle out?

The worst thing about all of this is that if she cane out tomorrow, I genuinely believe all of our problems would be gone. Her family is very tightly knit. If they accepted me, I could actually spend time with them and get to know them and stuff. I can deal with long distance just fine, but I can't deal with feeling isolated lmao.

And I worry so deeply about her telling her family. Her being gay is one thing, but how on earth is she gonna say she's been in a relationship for 5 whole years? I don't think any parent would take such a strong lie well. Like. Her mother is gonna think back on all the times she's been with me and realize just how much her kid has been lying to her over the years.

It's just insane.

My issue is I worry about if we have a future. We're both gonna graduate soon. How is she gonna move in with me if she's not out? How is that going to go down? She should have come out ages ago because now I feel like we're stuck lmao. Her mother and father are gonna have a LOT to deal with extremely quickly and the longer she waits, the worse it's gonna get. I'd feel better if she had a concrete date of coming out, but she doesn't lmao. I feel like I'm being strung along to a dead end.

And it's awful because I really do feel like we have an extremely good relationship. You can't imagine how elated I was before we went long distance. I had to have been the happiest dyke in the world, fr. But the trouble is we're not kids anymore and I want to talk about actually living together and getting married. I don't just want to muse to her about it anymore. I want to be with someone who is out and I can buy an apartment with and all of that. Being a closet case if fine when you're a kid, but eventually you have to just grow up fr lmao.

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[lesbianinaginkgoforest]

zima (character bingo)

they look so cool… their coat is the best part of their design, like it just makes the whole character silhouette be very distinguishable. and the red of her is very tiny but a very big part of her color scheme I love it…

okay they're deeper than they seem, haven't seen many bear fans around in these places but that's a given, she's just so fucking traumatized both by her abusive family which led her into building a fake tough persona who kicked the shit out of bad people in a way to defend her own self and avoid thinking of all the shit happening with her family where her father was unemployed as hell and they barely had money to eat. (remembers the weird shaped ham they eat which I feel is more of a reference to eating humans since this image comes from a nightmare she has where she argues with herself)

I just love how she defended gummy and istina when all the other students turned into her when zima became their leader and she ended up killing them all because they didn't like her way of doing things and were desperate for a scapegoat aekukreukagrue. Kinda funny that vika suggested them all to join or ally with the nobles and Istina just lied up about Zima "hating them" I mean she did but not with as much fervor as Anna did. on the case of she not doing anything wrong is also because she can kill as many as she wants and it will be okay she's just a little blorbo who'd do anything wrong :3

I'm mentally ill about them… I wish her attack animation had the "double hit" with her axe she does in lore… where she doesn't do a third slash with her axe because that's how she cut human bodies to hand the pieces for Gummy to cook them, but no the game is just boring and makes her attack 1 hit at a time…

In general going into headcanons back to her family issues I guess she dealt a lot with internalized lesbophobia :blobnomouth: because of how often her parents told her to "get a nice guy to marry" so she could be "well off" and how they told her that she should study and be better mannered to be a "good wife" while all she wants is to punch nobles and be a badass dyke who doesnt care about anything. Maybe her mom saw her she was hoarding a bunch of pants and flannels and threw them all away, her mother also saw zima cutting her hair short once and never spoke to her daughter* in normal ways again… Oh also zima one day saw a butch while walking in the street and decided that's how she wanted to be :p

I feel like her way of showing love is a bit… weird, silence unless she sees her friends being threatened, she feels like she has to protect all of them, they are the only thing she has left in her life and so overworks herself in the gym and training hours just to be stronger for gummy and istina (and Rosa but she doesn't want to admit how much she desires to be a Knight in armor for the stupid former noble), this way of showing affection and standing up for others just drags her more and more into situations that just end up hurting or making a mess out of everyone… She doesn't talk much with absinthe because they hate each other a bit but absinthe always get her brand new vodka (zoya is mischievous about it, thinking of it as a vengeance). The only person she isn't as direct with is Rosa, she has a hard time figuring out why is it that even if she's the one who always listens to her troubled mind, she can't comprehend her most of the time and kind hates the way Natalya scuffs herself behind a fake personality of always trying to look and act like the perfect girl… she wishes she could fix that stupid fake smile in Rosa's with a bunch of kisPUNCHES. She sometimes doesn't know why Rosa stares at her with such admiration and fondness when they rarely share lunch together… Yet somehow they always come to see each other during nights when one of them has nightmares, so they usually just drink tea (despite zima hating it) and cuddle in silence in the night until they fall asleep. Before they started dating Istina noticed that zima sometimes went to Rosa's room a lot and tried to spy on them… and ended up falling asleep in the hall outside of Rosa's room (Anna ended up getting dragged while being asleep by zima all the way back to her room when they noticed someone was out there). Zima loves and hates the way Rosa is, she's way too protective of everyone but can't stand the way Rosa is just so focused on her, it suffocates her in bad sunny days, kills her awful rainy days yet when it snows she realizes how much she wants Rosa despite her obsessive ways :blobwithnomouth:

[wisteriasymphony]

TWEOS - Ch46 preview

(to everyone still keeping up with this, I'm so sorry!! this chapter has been difficult to finish for no good reason :,) ADHD go brr.)

(CW: homophobic/transphobic/ableist slurs)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"CLAUDIA GUADALUPE FUCKING PERREAULT, YOU OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Adrien had never heard Marthe's voice before. It certainly wasn't ideal that the first time for it was hearing her shout at Claudia while banging her fists on the locked door to the apartment's only bathroom.

Claudia and Adrien had fallen asleep—if only for a few hours—in Claudia's bathtub. It was surreal, and Adrien felt aches in places he didn't even know had feeling, but what hurt the most was having to let go of Claudia when he got up to get the door.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY DAMN PERSON IN THIS HOUSE—"

"I'll be out in a fucking minute! ¡Callate!"

Claudia slammed the door just as quickly as she had opened it. Marthe was now shaking the doorknob as she shouted.

"DO NOT USE THAT MAN'S LANGUAGE IN THIS HOUSE! —YOU'RE HIDING SOMEONE IN THERE, YOU LITTLE RETARD! AND WHEN I FIND HIM, YOU'LL SURE AS HELL GET—"

Adrien open the door this time. As Marthe reached her hand in, he grabbed her wrist. To put it simply, Marthe Perreault was that odd blend of disgustingly ugly and conventionally attractive—long lashes on slightly bulging eyes, crow's feet and smile lines on a perfectly shaped face, sleek straight hair in an unflattering bun, so on and so forth. Not like it mattered either which way, of course.

Adrien mustered up what little he had left of that princely, elegant voice he used in commercials: 

"She's done nothing wrong. I'll be on my way shortly."

Marthe was taken aback, but only for a moment. She ripped her hand from his grip, before staring daggers into Claudia. It meant two things: One, Marthe had made the correct assumption that Claudia had bagged a 'wealthy boy' and incorrectly assumed that she had done so purely with her body; And two, that Marthe thought Claudia had intentionally set this 'boy friend' up against her for spurious reasons. 

"You better," Marthe spat. "And if I hear in the news she's gotten some boy like you—"

"Mom, it's not like that," Claudia lied. "She's just a friend of mine."

"Emilie," he added on. "I just needed to stay the night."

"...A dyke, then." Marthe had gotten to the point where she had lost all interest. “Or one of those transvestites. …Get your ass out of here before I call the police.”

So, they made their way out the door—Adrien first, then Claudia after once she’d packed a messenger bag full of supplies. Things that weren’t as valuable as the usual array: A bottle of water, the last snacks left in the house, an extra scarf, so on and so forth. Not like it would’ve been stolen either way, given that Adrien always made sure to be on the same side as it when they walked together so the bag would be sandwiched between them. It meant he could get a closer look at the bag, too—This faded charcoal leather with rustled buckles and decorated with plastic pins, a brooch of cranberries, a Tokio Hotel pinback button, worn corners on the edges of the bag, nicks and scratches on the sides…

“Why Emilie?” Claudia asked. She had to turn around to talk to him, the both of them stopped on the stairs of the second floor.

“…I don’t know,” he replied, even though he very much did. “Just a reflex. I used to get called it a lot as a little kid,” Adrien gestured to demonstrate about how tall he was at that point in time, which was about to his hips. “So I just got comfortable with it, y’know?” Another lie. It made him sick that he’d used it himself after all this time. “…it stopped happening around when my mom died.”

“Wasn’t Emilie your mom’s name anyways?”

“…Yeah. That’s what I mean.” Plus, it mostly happened when he and his mother were in the same room. Mostly by photographers at that, sometimes by relatives, occasionally his own father. That last part he could never really explain to himself.

They both started walking again, nearly out the door. 

“Sorry about my mom, by the way. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Adrien said. “At least I was called something new this time. After all, once people stopped calling me Emilie, they started calling me a—“

“...faggot?”

“…Yeah. That word.” Adrien wasn’t sure if he was grateful that he didn’t have to say it or offended that she did.

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tags: @myriadmi @cutepastelstarsalior @dayochoco

(these are just people i cross-referenced with the ao3 kudos! if you want to be added to the list or taken off, please tell me!)

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

ooh!! Cheryl of course for your unhinged character bingo please 🙏!

Explanation under the cut, as is custom. <3

Cheryl Blossom really checks all the boxes for me. Every single one.

Daddy issues. Mommy issues. Same, bro. I want her to be happy forever, but I will also torture her in fanfic because I love her and hate myself. (It's more love than self-loathing though, I promise. I just need her to fight my demons so we can both fucking heal.)

I'm putting her in a snowglobe and SHAKING IT. I am casting her in bronze and admiring her in my garden. I'm chewing on her leg.

She is the saddest, wettest cat in a cardboard box and I'M TAKING HER HOME to cherish her forever. I'm putting her in a blender and bloody is splattering everywhere.

I would take a COMET to the face for her.

When people talk shit about her (beyond reasonable criticism or outside of a funny joke) I genuinely see red. Ba dum tsssss. But also, Cheryl-haters should steer clear. I have violence in my heart about this woman.

You already KNOW I'm working on a dissertation about her to be completed later this year. It could easily be 10 hours, but I'm editing it down because I am applying for sainthood and it's my first miracle. <3

All joking aside (not really), Cheryl Blossom is one of a kind to me. She captures everything I love and hate about myself. I see so much of myself in her that I can't help but love her and I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh at her.

She's the clown in me. The woman-fucker. The firestarter. The bitch. The broken bird. The ice dancer with a plan. The witch no one believes. The madwoman and the saint. We're the mothers we never had and the fathers we flinch away from. We're unrelenting and utterly doomed. We're obsessed with ourselves in way that's deeply exhausting but utterly inevitable considering "she's just like that" and "no one listens to her". We're processing through art. We also both mellowed out over the years after a period of self-imposed isolation. We're both so tender with those we love. Neither of us know how to show it very well sometimes. We're both WAY too much.

The biggest difference is that she's high femme and I am the dyke version of Skrillex (Not intentional, but it's been said several times now). She uses fashion as her shield. I use piercings. I am both envious of her femme aesthetic and hopelessly attracted to it.

The other big difference is that she is moneyed and I grew up with nothing. Amazing how similar we are considering that. Childhood trauma really IS that powerful.

When I was in my early 20's, I suffered a drug-induced psychotic break where I genuinely believed I was a prophet sent from God to save the world. (I recovered and have since learned that maybe my proclivity for madness, drama, and drugs should no longer mix.) But god damn it, I understood exactly when she suggested that even though she probably wasn't a living saint, wouldn't that be miraculous?

When I was a kid, my "proverbial" twin died suddenly and I have carried the weight of his death ever since. We live two lives. Our own and the expected one of the dead other. Twice the pressure and, shockingly, twice the disappointment, but never twice the love. (Not a literal twin, but one of a pair.)

If she were real, we would fuck each other to death and leave nothing but a pile of ash.

[woman-respecter]

I've had 2 besties ghost me. The first, we were sixteen and in our junior year of high school and I started dating a girl and made friends that weren't her, and she just... stopped speaking to me. She would ignore me in the halls, she moved her things out of my locker, and she dropped the class we had together. The next time I heard of her was from her parents, for her funeral, because she'd died of cancer. That was when I found out she'd started internet dating an older man in Canada and moved to be with him immediately after we graduated high school.

The second was one of the girls I became friends with after her. We were so close people assumed we were dating (I was one of half a dozen openly queer people in our school, she loudly insisted she was straight to anyone who would listen). We spent hours on the phone, cuddled, shared a bed during sleepovers, she'd sit in my lap and play with my hair, and I really loved her in a totally-not-homoerotic way.

Our first summer back from college, she came out as "demisexual" and told me she'd met a girl and started dating her. A few months later, she told me we "needed to talk" about my "lack of support" for her sexuality and how hard it was being demi. At the time I'd recently come out to my own parents and my mother said she'd kill me if I ever brought a girlfriend home, because she "didn't raise a dyke." She never spoke to me again after that conversation. It's been 20 years and I still get a little sad about it sometimes.

those are both so devastating, i can’t imagine how hard it is to have a friend actually die (though a sick part of me wishes exbestfriend had died instead of left me so i could mourn her properly and fully get over her. which is fucked i realize.)

as for the other one she sounds insufferable. she did the thing mine did where she borderline yuribaited you while insisting that she’s straight. and then had the gall to act like YOU weren’t supportive enough about her sexuality or whatever after what u had been through. some extremely online behavior from her imo

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #8 - Yuri Kuma Arashi

Shrek voice: “Dykes are… like bears”

When I started watching this show, I didn’t know the name Kunihiko Ikuhara. I watched the first few episodes with my partner and commented to them that this show reminds me a lot of Mawaru Penguindrum. I don’t know whether I feel very smart or very dumb but I guess I got that vibe for a reason.

Man, I really like Ikuhara shows. I was looking at his credits on MyAnimeList and he directed the opening sequence for Aoi Hana, which I praised in my review. I watched the first of the two Penguindrum recap movies and I still love that show. I hadn’t seen the full lyrics to Nornir translated before, and it goes harder than I remember from 2011. I can only imagine that YuriKuma sprung forth from his mind when he learned that despite the release of Revolutionary Girl Utena, homophobia still exists. Keep fighting the good fight, Ikuhara!

First, non-plot elements. The animation is good but it’s not Eizouken, you won’t be blown away constantly. I like the art in this show a lot. I never stopped thinking the bears were adorable. It has a classic Ikuhara extended transformation sequence but it doesn’t appear in full after the third episode. I don’t mind this really, I felt like after I saw the bear girls lick honey off naked Kureha the third time I had seen it enough.

Oh yeah this show is horny as fuck. They loaded this with classic yuri yearning, but what if they could touch each other while they yearn? All the yearning appears to be kiss related, but other activities are fair game here. More on that in the spoiler section later.

I like the opening and endings to this. The opening theme to this makes me understand why people like ASMR. The ending has a cute dancing bear and I’m always happy to see that little guy bounce around.

Every episode someone stands before a court of three bear men called Life Sexy (judge) Life Cool (prosecutor) and Life Beauty (defence) and they judge whether they have the right to transform from bears into humans. I didn’t want to put this in the plot discussion section. Fuck you.

It’s going to be very hard to talk about the plot of this show without spoiling it, but to give you a very general idea, Yuri Kuma Arashi is about a world that is split into two halves; one where the humans live and one where the bears live. They’re separated by a huge literal barrier called the Species Divide. They have always hated each other, but they have always loved each other. The main character, Kureha Tsubaki, is a human girl. Bears have started infiltrating her high school in disguise as human girls because they want to eat her. She seems to be a prime target for bear attack. Humans in this world are always vigilant for bear attack and a lot of them seem to have firearms. Kureha herself practices with a rifle in case of a bear encounter because her mother was killed by a bear when she was younger. The plot kicks off when two bears disguised as humans infiltrate the school, Ginko Yurishiro and Lulu Yurigasaki. All the bears put Yuri in their human names so you can always see it coming. What could this mean? I know the answer to that. Let’s go on an adventure into the least subtle subtext I’ve ever seen.

Spoilers from here. That is sexy. Shabadadoo.

I don’t really want to talk about the plot to this show, I just want to talk about what the plot means. Just like Penguindrum before it, this show is very heavy on the symbolism, but unlike Penguindrum I found it really easy to decipher what it all means here.

This is a show about gay persecution. The bears are gay people and the humans are straight people. There are a couple of exceptions where you see a human character partake in a gay activity but that appears to be the overarching theme here. It’s pretty on the nose from the point where you clock that every bear has Yuri in their name, but the most prominent examples of this are with the main character and her deal and with her mother and her friend, the school principal.

The principal, Yurika, is a bear. She was close friends with Kureha’s mother, Reia. Yurika goes through a terrible grief when Kureha is born because she realises that Reia never loved her the way she loved Reia. Sorry you fell for a straight girl, Yurika.

As the plot progresses it quickly starts revolving around the relationship between Ginko and Kureha. They were friends as kids because Kureha crossed the Species Divide to find Ginko and brought her over to the human side of the world, where they lived together for a time. She has no memories of their friendship, which we’re lead to believe is because in order to gain the power to turn into a human girl, Ginko forfeited Kureha’s memories of their friendship. At the end, they reveal that this wasn’t quite accurate, it was actually Kureha who asked the court to allow Ginko to become human. The court tells her that this is an arrogant wish, that it’s presumptuous to assume that Ginko would want to become human to stay with her in a world that hates bears. Kureha is a child at the time so she doesn’t understand that conversion therapy is wrong, so she does it anyway, forfeiting her own memories as the price. At the climax of the show, Kureha stands before the court again and makes a new request, that she be turned into a bear. They’re happy she finally gets it and she goes bear mode. Then she and Ginko get to kiss and it’s the end.

There’s a great subtitle in episode 12 and I don’t know if it’s a line from the dub, but there’s a firing squad of human girls aiming at bear Kureha and Ginko and the leader is saying, “shoot her! She’s a bear! She’s disgusting!”, but the subtitle for “she’s a bear” was “she’s gay” just in case you didn’t get it. I really like this. Why not drop all pretences in the final episode? This show was always about this.

There’s a recurring sequence where a league of school girls called the Phantom Wuthering (Toumei na Arashi) get out their phones and vote for who amongst their peers is the evil one to be eliminated and it’s always Kureha. Since she was a kid she’s been branded a bear sympathiser so she’s the obvious pick to all these girls who have been trained to eliminate gay people (bears). But also, they’re constantly manipulated by a leader figure who either is a bear who wants to eat Kureha or is being manipulated by a bear. Some bears are just evil, but I guess some gay people are evil too so whatever.

I will happily fly the banner for Ikuhara’s brand of surreal storytelling, but I would like very much to know if the girls survived at the end or if they died to the straight girl firing squad. Just this once I’d like it if we could be slightly less vague about it. Literally every other gay gets buried in this show, and they did leave it ambiguous; the straights are pleased with themselves because the gays have been removed, and neither Kureha or Ginko were in the bear afterlife scene with Lulu at the end, but they just say, “no one knows where they went” and to be honest I am a little dissatisfied with that. I just don’t think those straight girls would be celebrating if there weren’t cadavers.

But I digress, this was a lesbian ass anime. Genuine props for making it about homosexuality and the fear of being outed in a group where you would be hated by your peers. I can’t wait for Ikuhara to learn about trans people.

Final thoughts:

I’m going get some honey and pour it directly into my mouth.

I’m giving this one an 8/10.

[magdasabs]

I listened to two dykes omg first they are so funny I've seen clips of them on tik Tok before but never listened to a full episode I was dying.

Onto Shannon omg the story about someone sending videos to her mom, sister and friends I can't imagine. I get why she chose to stop sharing so much stuff. It's so crazy to hear Shannon talk so openly though I feel like her content was always pretty tame, so I enjoyed it a lot. I also appreciated their conversation at the beginning about outside clothes in the bed 😂 so relatable. It also ended so abruptly I was so confused.

They posted a video of Shannon's segment at their live show. It was so funny too talked about bringing girls home during the holidays and it got so wild so quickly.

yes they were very funny! the sending videos to her mother was INSANE my jaw dropped when she said they shouted 'now this is living' across the bar like only a lesbian could be this unhinged 😭 I also really liked all the different topics, it kinda reminds me of how she talked about the new podcast and said people assume she's really shy or doesn't like talking about sex and stuff and that's not true but she just hasn't been sharing much in general. I do also get it tho cause it's a fine line when people know a lot of details about contexts like when she said she was insecure with her first girlfriend who had done all kinds of sex things everyone immediately knows who it is

I saw that video, it was so funny 😅 but at least we know she broke the streak of bringing girls home for thanksgiving this year, maybe things are looking up now haha. tbf it's kinda funny when they just mention it like that but in those 9 years it was only 3 girls which is totally normal

[foragain]

“oh, yeah. you were like… the biggest dyke in town,” my friend says, laughing, and i sigh in admittance. i went on to talk about my first girlfriend; all the maybes, all the makeouts, and everything else that went on behind my dad’s god favoring eyes. “that’s at least five different girls!” “yeah.”

you see, i never said i love you back to that first girlfriend. and none of the other girls were mine — i certainly wasn’t theirs. these were my teenage years, and every waking moment was spent trying to get out of my house. away from my mother. divorce is ugly when it’s codependent and none of your friends understand why you cry when the girl on tv swallows the pills.

all of this to say it was a lot of fooling around. most of those girls went on to have husbands, and maybe they could like women still but, at the time, i was an experiment. and that was okay by me. because the one girl i actually said i love you too was never a girlfriend. she was a best friend.

would you believe me if i told you i dated her cousin? that word is doing some heavy lifting — dating in the way kids do, where you’re pressed together like barbie dolls, because you’re the girl and he’s the boy. only, he was no ken, and barbie was standing behind him doing the pushing.

i went along with it best i could, but no one warns you how clingy teenage boys are. it’s funny, the movies and books had always told me it was the girl, and yet, here i was with a leech. he never left my side. never stopped touching my hair. i’d cringe and say “not now” and he would whine like a dog.

“he’s just so… weird.” i lamented. my best friend leaned over me on her bed and laughed, “just give it time!”

one summer at the lake, every day, he came looking for me. and every day, i hid with her. “why don’t you spend time with him?” she’d ask, and i’d shrug, and go on pulling her into the water. eventually, she stopped asking, and i stopped letting him touch my hair.

i didn’t understand that i loved her, then. so i didn’t understand why i didn’t like the boy. there was no thought behind it, because every thought went into her. we spent so much time together, it’s almost impossible to convey; every weekend. every birthday. every theme park, beach, or movie trip. we cuddled at night and held hands in public and laid under an open window talking about the stars and what they could mean.

she was the most amazing girl i’d ever met. and then i moved.

it’s not regret that i feel. we have our own lives, and we’re both happy. but my heart wonders, is it sad? is it sad that she’ll never know? and i gently remind it that it’s bittersweet. not sad.

every time i move somewhere new, i put her postcards up on the tac board. “to the bestest friend in the whole wide world,” it reads, “you’re the first person i want to see when i get home!”

[unapologticallyqueer]

The B Word

I kiss the pretty boy in black semi-sheer thigh highs, plant my hands on his hips, pull teasingly at his garter belt and I can hear my mother shaking her head across town. I can’t tell if she is disappointed or confused.

I lie awake next to the girl who smells like sweat and lemonade. I think about shoving my face into her hair but she falls asleep talking about her boyfriend. On the day my mother corners me in the kitchen to ask if I’m A FUCKING LESBIAN, I say no. I wonder if it counts as a lie when I still don’t have a word for all the different kinds of porn I like to watch.

When I come out, I am eight thousand miles away from home. I am sharing the bed of a substitute teacher. He likes to tie me up at night and kiss me in the morning. My mother says she’s not surprised but she doesn’t understand. When I use the B word, all I can think about is the first time bisexuality came up with her in conversation and she laughed.

THEY’RE JUST GREEDY. IT’S LIKE THEY DON’T EVEN CARE WHO THEY’RE FUCKING. THEY’D FUCK ANYTHING. THEY MAY AS WELL FUCK A DOG.

My grandmother asks where they went wrong, if it’s because my father left and you know, the other stuff. She wants to be able to call my sexuality a result of trauma but I won’t let her. She says, LOOK: IF YOU FALL IN LOVE, I’LL BE HAPPY FOR YOU BUT YOU CAN’T MARRY A WOMAN BECAUSE IT PERSONALLY OFFENDS ME. She calls me a dyke and says it’s a joke. She never asks me again if I’m seeing anybody.

I have a crush on a femme who makes their living writing good lines. I swoon every time they call me baby, but I tell them I don’t know if I want to get into things. I second-guess myself into a corner. What if it is just a phase? What if I change my mind? Do I really need to put my family through that kind of thing? I never tell my mother we’ve been dating but I tell her when we break up and she still cries for three whole days.

I make arrangements to meet up with a man I’m in love with and I don’t tell anyone in my family because I don’t feel like explaining that it doesn’t mean I’m straight. I go to London alone. When I return, I make up stories about landmarks and tourist attractions. I tell no one where I really spent my time.

My coworker asks me, Why do lesbians use dildos? Why don’t they just fuck men? And I want to say, have you ever met a man?? but I feel like the joke is too gay and I’m always trying to convince everyone I know that my sexuality is a revolving door which never stops spinning long enough to check IDs.

Still, somehow, I am always getting carded.

OKAY BUT HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU BEEN WITH? HOW MANY THREESOMES HAVE YOU HAD? I MEAN ALL GIRLS ARE A LITTLE GAY. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FLAUNT IT LIKE THAT. YOU JUST DO THIS TO GET GUYS, DON’T YOU?

When the Supreme Court ruling comes through for marriage equality, I sob quietly in the bathroom, but I don’t know if I can really celebrate the way that I want to because I don’t feel gay enough to talk about the struggle, but I’m not straight. My mother finds me in the morning to ask if I’ve heard the news. She says, I SUPPORT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MY DAUGHTER BUT I DON’T AGREE WITH IT AND I DON’T THINK IT’S RIGHT.

I say, then you don’t really support me , and she doesn’t say anything.

Honeybee, poems by Trista Mateer

[tidemoonchild]

How many oc's do you have and how long did you have them yet? Who is your favorite oc of yours?

-Question Master

Oh dear!

This is going to be a long answer so I'll put it under the cut

How many? Waaaaaay too many to count. Marvel isn't my only fandom and I have Ocs in so many fandoms. But I think Marvel is the one fandom with the most Ocs. So I'm going to answer this one only for Marvel. Also because I really don't know how many that are exactly and my Laptop is the ruler of chaos I will only talk about my Ocs I RP with or that are in any way related to them. To make it shorter I'll write the names down and in brackets how long I've had them. I don't remember when exactly I created them because I never wrote it down and that's nothing I keep in mind but I still remember roughly the years.

Maggie McCoy (around 2015/16)

Katya Rogers (around 2015/16 changed 2017/18)

Melaniya Barnes (around 2015/16 changed 2017/18)

Corvus/Emrys Flamel (around 2015/16)

Ragnar Yeager (around 2015/16)

Sam Finch (around 2015/16 changed in 2018)

Atreju Yeager (around 2015/16)

Irene Cabret (around 2015/16)

Grim (around 2015/16)

Freya Ulfrsdottir (around 2015/16)

Roxane "Roxy" Brielle Turner (around 2018)

Tristan Connor Matthews (around 2018)

Victor Snyder (around 2015/16)

Dr. Sebastian Gabriel (around 2015/16)

Bobbie Banner (around 2015/16)

Alexander Schmidt (around 2017/18 changed in 2022/23)

Theo Waters (2023)

Jake Dernier (2023)

Zecke Jones (2023)

Gavin Dyke (2023)

Steve Hill (2023)

Chris Watters (2023)

Thalia Haylen (2023)

Carly Mills (2023)

Pato González (2023)

Bowie Bower (2023)

Then I have a bunch of side Ocs that are the orphans living in Irene's orphanage. Won't name them all because there are about 39 of them. (around 2015/16)

I also have some Ocs for HYDRA the Red Room and my organization HADES. Some of them are agents and some of them children that were used by them because of their mutant powers. (around 2015/2016)

The family of Maggie: Delilah, David, Eva, Jackson, Nathan and her foster family Constantin Mond, Lisana Mond, Claudia Mond, Richard Mond, Elise Meyer, Harald Meyer (around 2015/16)

Katya's family are more canon but her bio mother is an Oc of mine for a long time her name was unknown but I'm currently looking for a name for her. Same with Melaniya's family, they're mostly canon characters and her bio mother is an Oc. They also had a foster family like Natasha and Yelena and their names are Dimitri Rostov, Oxana Petrova and Nikolai Makarov, Alexander is the same like these two his father is a canon charater and his mother an Oc (around 2017/18)

Corvus family are all Ocs of mine Bio: John Richard d'Arras, Rosa Marie d'Arras, Eliathan Corvus d'Arras; Foster: Albus Flamel, Tommy Baker (around 2015/16)

Freya's family are also all Ocs: Halvar Fenrir Odgerson, Yva Stendottir, Stellan Managarm Halvarson, Gyda Freki Halvarsdottir, Fjonn Hati Halvarson, Hildur Geri Halvarsdottir (around 2015/16)

Ragnar's and Atrejus family too: Hraudung, Jódis, Geirrod Hraudungson, Syrina Yeager, Hedda Yeager (around 2015/16)

Finch's father is an Oc Takeshi Harata (around 2018)

Irene's family are Ocs: Francis Cabret, Louise Cabret, Jacques Allard, Lyon Jacques Allard-Cabret (around 2015/16)

The rest of my Oc's family are unknown but also Ocs from me and still in progress. (2015-2023)

Regarding my favorites (I also just talk about the ones I wrote down here) that would be Maggie and Katya who are also my two marvel mains and which I worked on the most. Everything kinda started with them. Beside them my other favorites are Melaniya, Corvus, Ragnar and Finch. There was also a time when Katya and Maggie were one character but then I decided to split the character because I had way too many ideas. I still have the original Oc somewhere on my laptop. She was also one of my very first Marvel Oc's before her I had another Oc who was able to transform into a wolf. Her name was Arthena.

So yeah you see it's a lot. There are about 100+ Ocs. Again I have some more beside them and I'm still working on some new ones.

Right now I'm working on another Oc who's called Siren. She's in the marvel universe she's a mutant that is able to breath under water, to control water and weather, she can understand animals and control them (idk if all or just those who life in water) and over all has the abilities of a Siren with the singing voice etc.

[pancakexspacexdragon]

Young Seraphina - Part 1 (Remastered)

WARNING: Strong language and abuse.

Growing up in a small town in Louisiana, I always felt like there was something different about me. Not the part about being a bastard child - I didn't know anything about that yet. No, it was my sexuality. Sure, the boys were cute. But girls? Girls. I tried to keep it hidden for most of my life. I'd date boys, but nothing seemed to have that same spark. Not until I met Taylor. Taylor was different. Much different than all the other girls and boys in that small town. Taylor seemed to hold her head high; she didn't let others get into her head. I was nervous around her, but almost in a good way. I didn't know what it was, but I knew there was something about this girl I just had to learn more about. It took a while but 14-year-old me finally befriended Taylor. After multiple late-night chats and lunch talks at school, I learned one of Taylor's biggest secrets: She's trans. She had realized this from a young child, but after coming out to her last school, she had become a victim of bullying - to the extent that she forced her parents to move her. I cried for her new friend. But I knew I couldn't let this happen again. Since then, I've become super protective of Taylor; the slightest bit of bullying meant a beat down. ISera was soon sent to an alternate campus at 16, two years after meeting Taylor. But this didn't stop me from helping Taylor whenever I could. And when I finally admitted my feelings, I was shocked to hear Taylor felt the same. I was thrilled. My parents, however, were not. Is their perfect daughter dating another girl? My parents immediately disapproved; my mom cried, feeling she had failed as a parent. My father became angry, leading to many arguments between the three. I held my ground; I'd never felt happier than with Taylor. But the yelling got worse, especially after my parents learned of Taylor's history of being trans. My father eventually became violent, and after one horrible fight, he became physical, throwing me against walls, threatening me with weapons, and locking me in my room for days on end. It was two months into the abuse when I heard the worst argument between my parents: "YOU AGREED TO HELP ME!" I could hear her mom sobbing "Yeah, but you didn't tell me she'd turn into a dyke!" "She's just going through a phase. She'll be normal soon." "Whatever. You know I could just leave, right? And as soon as I prove she isn't mine, you can be damn sure I'm not sending you a penny for child support!" I looked out my window and sobbed. What did my dad mean? I texted Taylor before leaving a note for my mother and sneaking out my window.

Dear Mom, I heard you talking to Dad. What does he mean? I've always noticed I looked nothing like him, but you insisted I was from both of you. Were you lying? I'm going to Taylor's for a while. Please don't tell Father (or whatever he is); if he finds out I left, I will get a worse beating than last time. Your daughter (I think), Seraphina.