#talked to my sister for like an hour about it lol
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There is something deeply flawed and just wrong with s4 of the harley quinn show and im like. Trying to make a concise point about it but its really difficult to not make this a 20 min rant
#Shitpost#im trying to tldr this but i cant#talked to my sister for like an hour about it lol#the MAIN issue is that its trying to be vbros in a universe that doesnt WORK as vbros#like. A crux of vbros is that. 1. It isnt a superhero genre focused story. It is a boy adventurer hanna barbara cartoon spinoff#Vbros is Johnny Quest before it is superhero genre#And 2. In vbros the paperwork and systems of arching are developed slowly AND inherently work. Because in vbros THE VILLAINS AND HEROES.#ARE. TO A DEGREE. PLAYING A GAME. a ridiculous pretend where sometimes people die and like. If anyone takes it too seriously they are seen#as psychopaths that need to be put down. Etc#the harley quinn show is trying to have the same universe while using the dc universe which has over 80 years of history#and established characters. And it is NOT working#like on a fundamental thematic level#S 1-2 werent that strong. S3 was the best so far. S4 is hot garbage though its such a fucking mess#Another factor is that this show doesnt treat its characters with respect which leads to like#there is almost no engaging secondary cast. It doesnt use its characters well#because it isnt taking them seriously#the only character other than harley and ivy who is taken seriously is batgirl#So a show full of characters has 2 main characters and 1 secondary one#and like. Thats SUCH a terrible design#also the forced joke writing is a mess#and the 'mystery' of this season just shit the bed so hard in the ep that just came out#legitmately making this entire season pointless and. Sort of miserable to watch tbh?#just. Wow. I am amazed at how theyre using so many moving parts and literally none of them are fitting together#even the harlivy feels so forced and nonexistant this season#like their chemistry fucking died#And harleys arc is just so fucking shit this season. Like. Wow it shit the bed hard#i was giving it a chance but this most recent ep. Wow. It was so bad.#I dont think the season can be fixed now
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huh. the smallest silliest things really do pull me from my own head
#i was rounding hour 3 of a morning breakdown after feeling small and insignificant in the world#and then my brother texted me directly asking if I'd come to hang out for his birthday this weekend (i already was gonna cause my sister tld#me ab it) and that simple thing Instantly made me feel better 🥺#i just want to be wanted nonsexually/for company lol#and i want to be Explicitly wanted cause i get so many open invites to things but rarely do i get “can We hang out” unless im prompting#(which I don't mind or even resent - i do like that im able to ask for the time and company i need now and i enjoy now that i can plan#hangouts and social calls and stuff now but since it also falls on my shoulders a Lot to plan (and last night pointed that out to me when i#asked my friend if we could try seeing each other this summer and he immediately was like yes i will plan the activity if u come here)#i sometimes get sad and small and weepy and in my head about it sometimes and it meshes with the way I struggle really hard to Make Friends#or even Be In Community Actively bc both require a level of social energy/ability im not very good at in reality bc even tho i can Talk i#really struggle socially. irl i am nearly completely isolated outside of work. i am working on these things too just takes time)#but yeah. that really really helped. im gonna go exercise now so the yuck feeling from sweaty crying becomes sweaty exercise glow bye bye< 3#bunny rambles
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how it started:
how it's going:
#jitxt#my stuff#proud owner of This Specific Photo of Kimura Takuya#not to conflate the two bc my enjoyment of yagami and kimutaku are connected but separate#but obviously it would be bs to pretend i would've been interested in smap without playing judgment#truthfully i was eyeing a magazine too but i don't like investing money/shelf space into an interest unless i'm certain it's here to stay#unfortunately kimura takuya is still only a recent interest so. something small like this is fine#though i might have to get a bromide holder to keep him safe... i know there's an aus run business that sells idol goods like that...#anyway uhhhh first picture context for those who might've missed my lore earlier:#is that post-JE pre-LJ. i didn't really care for yagami. lmao.#i saw yagami fans and it seemed like they were having fun but i genuinely didn't understand their affection for him#and so getting through LJ and starting to like yagami i was like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME#thinking “lol look at his lame flat ass (affectionate)” and then going “WHAT. WHAT WAS THAT.”#<- girl who realised that she sounded exactly like the yagami fans online#and so i wrestled with it for a while#and bc i was talking in my friend's discord server about my experience with LJ i have this golden screenshot#of the day i finally gave in. pretty sure i'd been looking at pictures of yagami and kimutaku for like an hour beforehand lol#AND MY MESSAGES AFTERWARDS WERE STILL DRIPPING WITH COPE ABOUT IT#said something along the lines of. that i thought they tried way too hard to make yagami seem cool#and then followed it by saying i felt genuinely upset thinking about how i could never be on a date with him#THE DENIAL IS CRAZY... JUST SAY YOU LIKE HIM#anyway i've long accepted my fate but it's still funny to think about#jichan is asked to leave the fandom for needing to play 2 games to start liking yagami#meanwhile my sister's opinion on him hasn't changed at all. “he's alright” <- real quote about yagami from days ago#anyhow that's one of the main reasons i'm playing JE. so i can reevaluate that game with fresh eyes/new perspective#excuse my impromptu storytime. but i guess this whole post is about landmark moments in Jichan Liking Yagami so it's not entirely unfitting#i like yagami takayuki 👍 and now i like kimura takuya too 👍#gave this photo a goodnight kiss last night btw
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Writing day! See a play with my sister day! Maybe art day!
#✨️✨️✨️#oh i do need to check on some school stuff real quick but mostly its a Reboot my Brain and do good things day!#im gonna touch grass and be ready to stop self isolating tomorrow LOL#i have been writing a tiny bit between things this week but im really gonna sit and commit to it today#remind me to talk about that project on here later... cool milgram fic im excited about#ill probably be stuck at the playhouse like six hours with my sister because shes helping to work this one asffgvh but thats okay#shes not in this one but shes doing a few later this summer :3#rose rambles
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#bro why is everyone growing up and away and trying to figure out their lives and careers and loves#and im just sitting here missing them?#like sure im trying to figure out mine too we're all that age so I don't resent them for it#but why don't they miss me? why don't they feel empty when they haven't talked to me in a long time?#like. didn't they feel very light and happy after talking to me like i did with them don't they have a bad day and think that oh ill#talk to me and it will all feel okay even if it isn't just for a minute?#oh ny god i feel so pathetic asking this but like why am i suddenly crying now???#like my bestf. she's so busy in her new internship in mumbai that she can't be bothered to text me back#a simple yes no question for days. like i understand you have cool new office and work and friends and your stupid fucking ex#that you couldn't stop crying about to me living in that city with you but what about me? what about us?? what about you saying#that you're my first bestfriend i haven't told this to anyone else this is forever everyone else judges me but you're the best#like i just feel like if you're going to leave me then don't fucking say shit like that to me??#okay oh my god this is so irrational but i literally can't stop crying and it's definitely pms like i checked#she's not even leaving she's just suddenly busy and adjusting it's only been like a month#but i hate this stupid fucking knife like fear that as soon as someone is a little busy or seems like they're pulling away a little my#brain is like okay they hate me they're going to leave me so pack your bags we're leaving first#like i know a better solution would be to just tell her that hey dude i fucking miss you and i saw this show and remember how you used to#love peter kavinsky because he was adorable and i want to sit and watch it with you and just why aren't we back in school#where we are basically forced to hang out for like 7 hours because im so sick of only seeing you like once in 2 months for a few hours#like i know it's not your fault and we're just growing up and in different directions but just please like five more minutes can you stay#i don't even have the confidence to say anything to her lol she's my only friend like if even she gets mad and leaves#but i know that's not how healthy relationships work. and ugh my sister is so fucking far away i can feel it everyday#in the 5 and a half hour time difference. i hate this i hate everyone everyone has to go so far away#i hate living in this empty fucking house and being responsible for my own emotions fuck this isse accha toh living with dad hi hai#atleast when im there there are only 2 emotions anxiety and boredom. now i have a whole house to myself to cry whenever I need#for however long i need in a locked room. really looking forward to adulting haha i can see just see myself succeeding so well🙄#man this is crazy im gonna go do jumping jacks or something so this comes and goes faster#umm#dni
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brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
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Talking to my sister can be one of the most aggravating experiences
#just allowing myself a few moments of self-pity today#because i'm a little overstimulated/sick of people talking AT me#i have begun to notice that i'm never asked anything... not a single thing. no questions about my life or interests or how school is going#no questions about my partner or our anniversary and no acknowledgement of the big haircut i just got#no questions about my BIL's wedding. none about my health.#every day it's just people talking AT me. kind of tired at the moment...#and this is made worse by my sister's holier-than-thou attitude about literally the smallest and most insignificant things#like washing clothes? and cooking rice?? idk she talks like a housewife now.#and i get to listen to her complain about her 35 year old boyfriend and not say ONE kind thing for 2 hours straight#not a single question for me. not a single nice thing. and i'm talked over constantly#it's not like i don't raise my voice or speak my mind lol#it's just that. between my family and my partner's family. it feels like no one knows just how smart i am and how much fun i can be.#my partner is perfect in so many ways. my best friend and the kindest and most compassionate person i know.#but i really could brag and boast like my sister does over absolutely nothing. because i have actual achievements. but i don't#because who does that lol. fucking annoying and rude people.#maybe my family just thinks i'm okay and so they never ask me anything or call me. ever.#but see.... i don't talk to them because i want advice or help or money. i talk to them because they're my family#and i would very much like to feel cherished and loved by them#/ end angst and self-pity boo hoo
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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Alright now why did Taylor have to break into my life and steal the story (specifically the bridge) to write the song Peter. She didn’t even bother changing the kids name
#raineyrambles#like excuse me ma’am#why’s you have to bring up a story from nearly 8 years ago now lol#the irony of this is I was just talking about him with my sister last weekend#and then one of my roommates yesterday a few hours before the album dropped lol#taylor swift#ttpd#the tortured poets department
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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse
#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs#the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s#not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need#without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do#it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my#needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to#escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no#one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and#frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later#like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an#independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im#stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i#just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be#right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol
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earlier today, my irl bestie asked me how i was doing in relation to the loss of my nephew. i said that most days i feel fine but was unsure of how true that really is. (but i am doing better than my sister—this isn’t a dig, she’s going through the most out of anyone.) i also admitted that i try not to deeply reflect on things too much.
flash forward to about 9pm. my mom and i are talking about the kids. i start to bring up how my nephew was my little buddy, but as i reminisced, i had to stop. i began to tear up because it’s true. he was my little buddy and now he’s not here with us—he’ll be 11 years old forever. and that really sucks. his grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles shouldn’t have outlived him. it’s unimaginable but an unfortunate reality that families battle through.
some days are better than others. but i think about my nephew every single day.
#Mads makes a text post#bereavement#my sister was right to say that life sucks#becuase it really does#the other day she asked why life sucks and why this happened#and all I could do was sadly tell her that I had no answer#anyway I cried for like half an hour after talking with my mom lol#but i’m better now#still sucks though but it is what it is!#I should have known I would have gotten emo#bc I really thought about junior earlier today
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I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time
#random post#I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol#I just mean. our house is a place where people get along#there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever#wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to#need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you#hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more#like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that#we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol#we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING#ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals#her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00#and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were#me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations#when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol)#and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and#I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread#I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots#it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean#I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish#other people were able to have love and fun times often#I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever#but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people
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#sent my mom those bts x harry photos this morning thinking she’d find it cool#since she likes harry#but she literally just. didn’t care and it kind of hurt bc it’s such a huge deal for me#to see him and the boys in the same frame#i thought i’d get some kind of reaction and i just didn’t#so i felt kinda shitty about it#but then my younger sister came over and she came in my room to look around#and started asking me questions about bts while looking at my pc collection#and then she let me pretty much give her a two hour crash course on bts#while asking questions and letting me show her music videos while she tried to study their names/faces better#and it made me feel good bc i never have anyone around to talk to them about out loud in detail#or rave about them with or anything bc my parents don’t careeee so i suppress it all#and i literally said to her ‘i never get to talk about them’ so she just. let me#mind you my sister and i butted heads so much when we were younger bc we’re so close in age#we have very different music tastes#she will likely never stan bts and that’s FINEEE lol#but it’s nice that she respects my love for them and has even gifted me things/merch and keeps her eyes open for things#knowing how much they mean to me#she’s the only one in my family who really supports it without any weird resistance or fakeness like my parents do#even if they do sometimes try to show interest i know it’s not that genuine#anyway long post just feeling nice that my sister cared about the most important thing in my life even just for a little bit
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I shared my Jersey Shore house build on tiktok and a lot of people told me how much they like it and I’m really happy! This hood is the culmination of a month’s hard work and two of my longest lasting special interests :)
#like I’m just legit excited on here and on other sites when people really like what I build#or create#not because of clout or notes or likes#but I like getting to talk about it and have all those hours put in appreciated by others besides me lol#my sister is the only person irl who can appreciate the sims creations fully so it’s nice getting to talk to other ppl about it
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:( stayed up until 4 AM doomscrolling on tags i know are bad for my mental health againnnnnnnn
#my post#let’s just say the amount of straight up r*df*ms in the tr*ns community is. um. CONCERNING!#g*nder ecc*ntialism post yadyadya#if you think it’s tr*nsm*sog*mystic for tr*nsm*scs to simply talk about their own struggles using their own language gtfo#why do some tr*nsf*ms act like the mere existence of tr*nsm*scs is a sleight in their f*mininity#veeeeery f*scist Our Ememy is both Weak (whiny little bitch th*yfabs) and Strong (scary patriarchal m*n) at the same time rhetoric#we literally swap from one to the other depending on what’s convinent for their argument. sometimes in the same post!!!#‘tr*nsandr*ph*bia truthers are reactionary anti f*minist M R A s’#we’re reactionaries?? okay. not like these people’s entire political stance hinges on putting other people down#I’m simply trying to live my life and be able to talk about my struggles without fearing that someone will React#and jump down my throat for DARING to not center tr*nsw*men in my discussion about….. being tr*nsm*sc.#there’s a reason I only make these posts 1) in the wee hours of the morning when my self control is low and 2) heavily censored#I hope I have made it abundantly clear that I only have an issue with ideologies that implicitly or explicitly disregard my identity#and not like. tr*nsf*ms as a whole. I love my sisters :((((((#why must we fight.#also last thing but since when has f*minism not included tr*ns OR c*s m*n lol#the p*triarchy and toxic m*asculinity is bad for LITERALLY everyone#these people seemingly have no concept of inters*ctionality or allysh*p or s*lidariry#you are not going to get anywhere by isolating yourselves as the One True Oppr*ssed Class#everyone else’s oppr*ssion is either lesser / nonexistent / actually a priv*lege somehow#make it make sense
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how do i politely tell my sister i don't want to stay up all night and drink and party with her
#when we bought it many weeks ago i was sooo looking forward to it#and now mom dad koi ni hai ghar pe#and she wants to drink#im not in the mood man#last time i drank it was with my bestfriend and we had fun for about like an hour and then she spent all night#talking to her ex boyfriend and her situationship guy and i was all alone#i mean normally i don't mind being alone i love hanging out with myself at night#but.#well im so depressed now so drinking isn't fun combine that with 3 am thoughts#and my sister is even worse than my bestfriend lol atleast my bestie cared about me enough to make sure i had a good time#my sister just. lol she won't look up from her laptop all day till like 7 pm even if i need for 2 seconds#and after work too she's on her phone she doesn't want to watch movies or anything together she doesn't want to go out for ice cream#she just wants to talk to her friends and scroll thru fuckinv insta rather than hang out with me#and like fine im used to it if you're really so busy then theek hai karlo kaam but then i hate that im supposed#to pretend everything is okay and we can have fun#she's nursing a broken heart too and im sick of being around broken hearts i miss having friends why does everyone prioritize relationships#over everyone everything#and she can be sooo unnecessarily condescending sometimes#like i was watching eras yesterday on tv while having dinner and i gave up on asking her to hang out watch stuff together#because im like sooooooo done with begging for attention#but she sat and watched it between her scrolling#and today she's like so what will we do not taylor swift eras lol i want to do something really rockinv and fun#like bhai sorry im not interesting and important enough to answer when i ask a question and sorry my interests are childhish and not fun#enough for you please just hang out with your friends then
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