#talented musician AND actor. i love the fact that he’s into two things that bring joy to my heart: music and film

[modernmanblues]

Ray Davies in The Long Distance Piano Player (1970), written by Alan Sharp, dir. Philip Saville

[storiesforallfandoms]

tabloid bs ~ eminem

word count: 1822

request?: yes!

@imaginesforjohnnydepp​ “hi! i was wondering if you could do an age gap eminem x reader imagine where the reader is a singer and is the daughter of a very successful actor and singer and there are rumors of her parents not liking marshall making the rounds in the tabloids?”

description: in which she decides to shut down bullshit tabloid rumors regarding her boyfriend and her parents

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (totally legal though, we’ll say the reader is about 25)

masterlist (one, two)

Being the daughter of two incredibly famous actors meant you were in the spotlight from a young age. Paparazzi, crazy fans, fake friends, none of it was new to you by the time you decided you wanted to try your hand in singing.

You were nervous at first, worrying that either you’d only blow up because of who your parents were, or that everyone would shut down your career because of who your parents were. You were happily surprised to learn that everyone genuinely liked you and your music, despite your parentage.

As your career began to skyrocket, you were contacted by none other than Eminem asking to make a song with you. Apparently he was so impressed by your talent that he wanted to get in contact with you and ask you himself for a collab, something that he only did with people who ended up becoming close friends of his (Skylar Grey, Rihanna, 50 Cent, Ed Sheeran, etc. etc.).

You ended up following this trend, except in a much more extreme way. You did end up becoming close with him, but not as just a friend. Within a month of doing your collaboration you found yourself going on a date with Marshall, and within a year you were basically living with him.

The press had a field day when they found out. You were 20 years younger than Marshall, and he was only two years younger than your mom. Of course people didn’t react to kindly to this at first, but it wasn’t as hard to ignore these things as you expected it to be.

The thing that was hard to ignore, though, was the constant stories that were published about your parents hating Marshall, and hating your relationship.

This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Your parents loved Marshall, both as a musician and as their daughter’s boyfriend. Your dad and Marshall got along really well, and your mom basically viewed him as a new best friend from the moment he walked through the door.

These rumors were harder to ignore when they were brought up so often in interviews and during livestreams or Q&As. You were starting to get annoyed with it and you wanted to make it stop.

Lucky for you, the person interviewing you at that moment gave you the perfect segway to shutting those rumors down.

“I know this is a bit of a private topic,” she started, “and if you don’t want to talk about it we can just move on, but there’s something circulating in the rumor mill regarding you and your boyfriend.”

“Of course there is,” you said, rolling your eyes in a playful manner. You were trying to remain lighthearted about it all, but you were feeling the annoyance bubble up inside of you already.

“There’s a story going around that you blew off your dad’s birthday because he wouldn’t let you bring Eminem to the celebration.”

You felt your face heating up with anger. Oh, so now the media was trying to present you as a bratty singer now too? Saying you skipped your own father’s birthday due to your boyfriend?

No, they were not getting away with that one.

You pulled your phone from your pocket and quickly opened it. The interviewer looked at you in confusion as you scrolled through your pictures before holding your phone towards the nearest camera.

“Here’s a picture of me and my dad two days after his birthday,” you said. “It was taken by Marshall, because the three of us had a special celebration alone. My flight home was delayed and I had to miss my dad’s actual birthday, in which my boyfriend was actually invited to, by the way. Dad specifically asked if Marshall would be coming, even jokingly told me that I had to take him. So no, I didn’t purposely miss my dad’s birthday because of my boyfriend, I would never miss dad’s birthday on purpose.”

“All you had to say was no,” the interviewer mumbled, regarding her notes to move along to the next question.

“No,” you said. “I’m not keeping this one short and sweet. I’m tired of all these stupid, untrue things being said about me and my boyfriend and my parents. Mom and dad don’t hate Marshall, I don’t purposely not see my parents because of him. There’s no hate at all between any of us, and it makes me angry that tabloids make those accusations without any evidence just for clicks. This is someone’s real life, not just some fiction for someone to fuck around with.”

“You sound very passionate about this.”

You scoffed. “Of course I am! Ever since Marshall and I have started dating people have been saying shit about him and my parents and I don’t understand why. There’s never been any ill will between my parents and Marshall, not even any implied ill will. People just like to make up stories so they have a good headline to get views and get people talking.”

“Well, although nothing has been ever been confirmed, you can’t say you don’t understand where those rumors came from. No one wants their kid dating someone who is basically their age, no matter how famous that person is. It’s only natural for a parent to be protective over their kid, especially from such an older person that may just be taking advantage of them.”

Your eyes were wide with shock. You could barley believe what this bitch was saying. She was really trying to spin the story and say that Marshall was trying to take advantage of you, a literal 25 year old adult?

You stood from my chair then and began trying to pull the microphone off of yourself. The interviewer looked at me with concern before trying to stop you.

“I’m done here,” you declared, pulling at the wire once I found it.

“You’re going to break the mic!”

“Send the bill to my people,” you retorted. “I’m not sitting here and having someone tell me that the guy I’m dating is trying to take advantage of me just because he’s older, or hearing you spill some bullshit about my parents. Newsflash: if someone is happy publicly with their relationship, then maybe they’re actually happy. No tragic behind the scene stories or ulterior motives, just two adults who are in love.”

You finally got the microphone off and basically threw it at the interviewer before turning and leaving the room.

~~~~~~

You stayed at Marshall’s place that night, still partially fuming from the interview. You didn’t tell him specifics (especially not that you walked out in a fury the way you did), but you told him it didn’t go well.

You were awoken the next morning to your phone ringing. When you checked it, you saw your dad’s face and name light up your screen. You groaned when you noticed how early the time was before answering. “Hello?”

“Good morning sweetie,” came your dad’s voice. “Have you been online yet?”

“I haven’t even been out of bed yet,” you responded. “Why? What’s going on?”

“You’re trending for walking out of your interview.”

You sat up in the bed so quickly that it woke Marshall. He rolled over and looked at you in confusion as you put your dad on speaker and started frantically opening your Twitter app.

“Dad, you’re on speaker. Marshall is here,” you told him as you started looking.

“Good morning, Marshall,” your dad said.

“Morning,” Marshall responded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What’s going on that has (Y/N) wide awake at 8am?”

“She’s trending.”

“For what?”

There it was, your name at the top of the trending list. When you clicked on it, the first thing that popped up was your interview from the day before.

“Fuck,” you breathed. “I can’t believe they actually posted. It was so bad, I thought they’d just delete the footage and never think of it again.”

“You think too highly of people looking for a good scoop, honey.”

The title of the video read Singer (Y/F/N) Goes Off On Interviewer while Talking About Parents and Boyfriend Eminem. The entire interview was included, luckily enough, including everything leading up to your storm out. Marshall watched over your shoulder as your dad waited, silently, for you to see it all.

“You didn’t tell me what was said,” Marshall said. “Why didn’t you tell me they were saying that shit to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you responded. “I mean, it did matter, but by the time I got here I didn’t think it would matter anymore. Like I said, I thought the footage would be deleted and long forgotten.”

You were nervously biting at your nails as you scrolled through Twitter to see what people were saying. You were expecting a wave of hate and people believing that you truly were a bratty singer, until you started to see how much praise and love you were getting.

“Imagine trying to frame (Y/N) as the bad one in this situation when the interviewer literally said Eminem is trying to take advantage of her”

“Never believed those rumors about (Y/N)’s parents and Eminem. They’re all too tightknit for (Y/N) to date someone her parents hate”

“The way she told the interviewer to bill her for the broken mic that’s QUEEN SHIT”

“It doesn’t seem too bad,” you said as you continued to read. “A lot of people on my side.”

“Oh, I knew no one was against you on this one,” your dad said. “I just wanted to let you know you’re trending, and let you know I’m proud of you for finally putting an end to those rumors. It was getting really tiresome to read why I hated Marshall on any given day.”

You chuckled slightly. “Thanks dad. I’ll call you and mom later. Love you.”

“Love you, too, honey.”

Your dad hung up and you decided it would be for the best to put your phone away for a while. Even though you weren’t getting any negative attention for this, you were still overwhelmed by the fact that the interview went up at all.

You settled back into bed beside Marshall, taking your place in his arms where you loved to be the most.

“I’m proud of you, too,” he said, kissing your forehead. “I didn’t realize my girl was so badass.”

“Yes you did.”

“Maybe I did.” You giggled as you nuzzled your head into his chest more. “You know how much I love you, right?”

“Of course I know, babe. Don’t let that shitty interviewer and her bullshit get to you.”

“Oh she’s not,” he said. “I’m well aware your parents love me and I’m not taking advantage of you. I just wanted to remind you.”

I chuckled and shook my head. Shortly after, I drifted off to sleep, feeling proud of myself for what I had done.

[hwrryscherry]

The one where Y/N is from a very famous family.

blurb: Harry is going to meet  Famous Y/N’s family for the first time on a family trip to their holiday house in Monaco. He’s very nervous about meeting your highly successful in Hollywood family and you’d try to give him the best weekend getaway ever.

word count: 2.9K

warnings: Y/B/N= your brother’s name   -  Y/S/N= your sister’s name.   Y/L/N= your last name.

author’s note: This was a request and I just gotta say that I loved this concept, and even though it took me a while to write because I had so many ideas and I had to organize my thoughts I loved it. And I’m actually thinking about making this a serie, what do you guys think???? Also it’s crazy but I spent so much time deciding on face claims to Y/N’s family lol i’m weird and this is the request which Y/N’s face claim is Romee Strijd, BUT ANYWAY I hope you like it as much as I do!!!

   The weather was really hot in Monaco, and you felt it on your skin when you left the private jet that just landed at Monaco Airport (MCM). The warm rays of the sun were in contact with your skin immediately as you raised your head to direct your gaze to the sky. It was an open sky with almost, no clouds and the sun shining more than ever. Your eyes ached from the sunlight making you lower your head again feeling your long strands of hair fall to the front of your shoulders covered in the little baby pink blazer as you both waited for your car to come to take you to your family's vacation house.

   Harry was sweating, and it wasn't because of the heat. Well, not entirely.You two have been dating for the past 9 months, and this is the first time that Harry will ever meet your family as you wanted to be completely sure that you were doing the right thing. Yes, it was the first time that he would meet your extremely famous, rich and adored family in Hollywood. He would finally meet your father, who has been one of his favorite actors since he was 12 years old. He would meet your mother, who besides being one of his fashion icons, was one of his first celebrity crushes. All right, you thought this part was a little weird but that wouldn’t stop you from making fun of him about this. Anyway, he would know your older brother, in whom he loved the music and was very anxious to be able to talk about music with him. Harry never felt insecure about his music but today he did. He did because he was afraid that your musician brother would hate his job and decide that he just wasn't suitable for dating you. And believe me, he didn't get it out of his head even though you told him how silly it was. He would also meet your older sister who is one of the most talented models and actress of nowadays and all of this made him very anxious.

   To summarize, Harry never thought he could be so nervous just by the thought of meeting the family of one of his girlfriends, but you were different. He didn't think of you as just ''one of his girlfriends'', he thought of you as the right one. Like that person he wants to have a future with, even if he's precocious, that's how he felt. And he didn’t really think of how hard it would be to date the youngest member of one of the most adored celebrity families.

   You ran your hand through your hair, tossing it behind your shoulders, so you could get a better look at your boyfriend's face. You turned your back on him and gave a little shrug as you put your arms back and hinted that he would help you take off your blazer, and so he did.

—You know it's bullshit, right? They’ll love you! — The words came out of your mouth gently as you felt Harry's fingers covered in cold rings slide over the skin of your warm arms as he helped you take off your blazer. You could hear a loud sigh coming from him, which makes you turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he positioned his hands on your waist causing a slight shiver as you felt his icy rings against your skin.

— Will they? — Harry asked lowering his head to rest it on your exposed neck breathing in the scent of your sweetened perfume thinking to himself how much he loves this scent. He felt pressured, and you actually felt bad for him about feeling like this. You knew your family and you knew they would never in a million years downplay him of you or anything in his life. You gave him a tight hug caressing his back as a form of comforting him.

— They will! They’re not demogorgons, it’s not like they’ll eat you alive! — You’d say in a mocking tone making him break the embrace and look at you with a mocking gaze eliciting a small laugh from you. 

— They can! — He’d argue back.

— But they won’t! — You’d say fastly. Looking away from the boy's green eyes to the black SUV that approached both of you. Particularly, you didn't notice if you had any paparazzi intentionally hidden in there. You and Harry were still keeping things low key, because as long as no one knew, it would always be better and easier because there would be no haters and no judgment. This is the point of life; no matter how nice and lovable you are, there will always be someone who will not like you and that’s okay. Later that day, you would find out that there were some paparazzi there when some pictures of you and Harry talking and getting in a car together were published in the media.

   The drive to your family's private house was fun. You sang some familiar songs that played on the local radio, captured some lovely pictures of each other which is something that you do frequently; you both usually fill your galleries with photos never before seen, so you can remember incredible moments lived between you. It was a weightless moment, where the two of you were genuinely happy. For a few precious minutes, Harry forgot his nervousness and let him go, let himself go in the sound of you laughter, in the smell of your hair, by the temperature of your covered body near to his body, and he no longer thought about how difficult he thought it would be to meet your family, but those feelings came back hitting him as he felt the car stop on the driveway in front of the immense door of this immense house, which you didn't see the need. It was quite common for you and your family to vacation here but you didn't see the specific need for a massive house like this for five people.

   You got out of the car and walked instantly towards the trunk of the car that opened at the driver's command. Harry took the two heavier suitcases out of the trunk while you took out the small suitcase, more like a necessaire you used to bring in your makeup and cosmetic products. You looked at Harry and sighed, sighed in awe as you observed how the muscles in his arms looked extremely more prominent at this point. The way this man has the power to amaze you at any time was different, and he knew it, he knew it very well!

    He stands up looking behind you where he could see your mother and your father coming to both of you with big smiles on their faces. He observed how much you looked like your father and just a little bit of your mom, but he also observed that the three of you had the same eye color and the same hair color, actually, all of your family was exactly like this. Almost like twins.

— Darling! — You hear your mother's loud voice and turn around to see her. She was acting like you hadn't seen her two days ago when she invited you to come on this trip and you said you were going to take your boyfriend with you. But anyway, she quickened her pace and when she got close enough to you, she wrapped her arms around you giving you a tight hug. Your father went directly to Harry. He kept a straight and ineligible countenance. Harry wondered if he was about to hug him or if he was about to shoot him for the simple fact that he was dating his youngest daughter. But then, his father smiled and held out his right hand to Harry, who did not hesitate to shake it.

— Mr. Y/L/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you! — His hand was sweaty, that cold sweat of nervousness that made his father laugh out loud. You closed your eyes for a moment remembering precisely that you specifically told Harry to don’t call neither of your parents as ‘’Mr. And Mrs., ’’because as they typically say: ‘’It makes them feel old.’’

— Relax, boy! — He said as he set one of his long arms around Harry's shoulders getting ou a chuckle from Harry as he saw your mother's sweet gaze on him.She then smiled at the boy who was definitely a lot taller than her and then back at you.

— He's as handsome in person as in the pictures you showed me, dear! — She said winking at you, causing you to widen your eyes at her while Harry laughed out loud.

— Mom! — You would say scolding.

— It's okay, Y/N! I know you go around saying I'm handsome and everything! — Harry risked the joke, which made you roll her eyes in a playful way to him.

— Come on, what are you waiting for? Let's take your stuff up there! — Your father said lugging the small suitcase you carried without hesitation.

— Okay, you two take things up there while Y/N and I will go straight to the pool area. — Your mother said and your father just nodded in agreement with her and immediately started walking into the house. Harry widened his eyes at you as a cry for help and you just shrugged your shoulders being practically dragged by your mother's small figure, since you were basically six inches taller than her.

    You walked through the extensive pool area with crossed arms. You both walked to a covered part where a broad, round white wooden table was located surrounded by beautiful yellow chairs, not the vibrant yellow but the yellow at sunrise, that calm and serene.

   You two sat on the chair and you used your hand to support your face on the table, thus letting your long strands of hair fall to the left side of your shoulder. Your mother took one of her hands to hold the strands of hair in her hands and looked at your face with a tender smile.

— You look happy! You have that happiness glow — She said admiring your face that instantly started to smile just to remember the reason you were so happy, and to remember your happiness had a name, appearance, voice and age.

— I genuinely am! — You said softly trying to contain the smile.

— I'm happy! He looks like a lovely guy, after the last one, I confess that I was worried about it! — Your mother said in a more deep tone and you just tried to expel all thoughts about your ex-boyfriend, it was not even worth remembering that human being, if he can be considered a human being.

— He's... He's the best, mom. — You said softly bringing your hands to your face and then placing your palms on your cheeks holding your smile, even though it seemed impossible — He really is! Harry is so clever, kind, respectful. He's hilarious, you know? Time goes by so fast, I feel light. I forget about worries and focus only on him and I, and at that moment it seems that the rest of the world ceases existing and by god, he was so nervous about coming here today. He was terrified you guys would detest him, and I would just stop liking him.

— Why? But this is so silly! — She said snorting a little, it was even a little bit funny because this has been exactly the same thing that you have been saying to Harry. — You need to make your own choices and we recognize it, we don't always support it, but we know it!

    You chuckled a little with the older woman's words. God, how you idolized her. You were always grateful to have such a good relationship with her. This type of relationship that you can arrive and spend hours telling things and will feel unjudged. Everyone should have something like that.

— But where are Y/S/N and Y/B/N? I thought they would come too — You asked about your older siblings as you straightened up in your chair.

—They arrived! They said something about buying some things on the market. I have no idea!— She said taking the glass she held in her hand and taking a sip of the drink. —These children are like this, you know, you generate them, give birth to them, raise them, spend thousands of dollars in schools and then they go out and don't even tell you where they are going. — She said being the usual drama queen and you cannot avoid the laugh that escaped your lips, this woman was simply everything for you.

— All very dramatic, I bet they went to buy things that you should have bought and forgot! — You said raising your eyebrows in a mocking way.

— Okay, okay! You don't value me. I understand! — This was probably one of the most dramatic phrases she had ever said in her life. You then feel a pair of firm hands on your shoulders and automatically tilt your head to look and come across Harry's face. Harry's beautiful, perfectly structured face.

— Hi! — Harry said to bend down to give a light kiss on your forehead. You then looked ahead and saw your father behind your mother.

— We left things in your room. Everything is in there! — Your father said looking at you two. You then got up and stood next to Harry and looked at the older couple.

— I'll go up and take a shower then! I'm dying of heat! — You said — And Hazz, could you come along and take things out of the suitcase? — You said taking your gaze to him who agreed with a soft "sure." You then smiled at your parents, and you walked into the house. You both went up the stairs. 

                                          ...

   It was about 2pm now and you were all reunited att the pool area. Or siblings and their current partners were there too. You two had already showered and switched to more tropical clothes. You were wearing a beige bikini with white polka dots while Harry was wearing a navy blue swim trunks with a single wine red stripe, and believe me, it wasn't long before the two of you were in the pool. You both had dark glasses on your faces to protect you from the sunlight. You and Harry leaned against the edge of the pool without leaving the water. Harry had his back against the edge while you stood in front of him, with your arms around his neck and his hands on your waist while the Carpenters song "Top of the world" played in the background.

   You could feel Harry touching the tips of your wet hair on your back as he didn't really listen to the things you said.

— Harry? — You called him trying to get his attention that seemed far away at the moment. Harry put his thoughts aside and stared at you looking a little far away. —You weren't even listening to what I was saying, right? — You said raise your hands to stroke the taller boy's wet hair.

— Sorry, what were you saying? — Harry asked taking off his sunglasses and then bringing his tattooed hand to your face so that he could remove your glasses as well so he could have a clear view of your eyes.

— What did you think? — You asked showing interest in the boy's thoughts.

— In almost everything and in everything. I was thinking that this place is amazing, that your family is really nice and that you are wonderful! — He said in a charming tone with a smirk on his lips as he leaned down to peck your lips.

— So you admit that I was right, and you were wrong? — You asked raising your eyebrows teasing him for his nervousness that had already passed by this time, since he got along so well with his entire family.

— I would say a little bit! — He would speak reluctantly in the form of a joke causing you to snort and slap his shoulder lightly as a joke basically demanding that he tell the truth — Ok, ok I admit! It was stupid nervousness! Do you feel better now, Miss Y/L/N?

— Well... I feel adorable! — You say smiling convincingly.

   The rest of the trip was incredible, and you guys agreed on that. You guys did so many fun things. You went on a Jet Ski in Cap-d'Ail which is very close to Monaco. You took a whole day to go from Monaco to Nice by helicopter where you spent the whole day there. You went canyoning and went to the casino. There were days where you just went shopping in Monaco and spent the day enjoying at home, but surely one of your favorite nights was the night where you had a game night where you played UNO, and poker, in general the whole trip it was so much fun and Harry would like every day of his life to be like this, and preferably, for you to be by his side.

[unpopularwiththepopulace]

Here Lies Jenny: Bebe Neuwirth’s under-remembered masterpiece?

While Bebe Neuwirth is often remembered foremost for her presence in worlds like Chicago, Cheers or Fosse, there’s another piece in the tapestry of her work that brings many notable threads together and is equally significant to her.

Here Lies Jenny is the somewhat under-discussed piece of theatre that in fact has connections to all three of these aforementioned things, because of the people she worked herself on creating it with, and deserves to be brought up with slightly more comparable frequency. 

A moment then to explore some of the history of this elusive but important show.

Here Lies Jenny, recalled as a “surprise off Broadway hit”, opened at the Zipper Theatre in downtown Manhattan in May 2004 and ran there for five months.

The show was an interpretive revue of the music of German composer, Kurt Weill, born out of an idea Bebe had herself. It was shaped by collaboration with close friends – with its initial genesis assisted by Leslie Stifelman (the show’s pianist, who she’d worked with on Chicago), direction by Roger Rees (who she’d long known and worked with since their time on Cheers together), and choreography by Ann Reinking (who was Bebe’s closest dance companion in the Fosse universe).

Set in a dark and shadowy looking barroom, the piece followed Bebe as the central, amorphous female figure named ‘Jenny’, supported by three male cast members and a pianist, through an evening of carefully selected Weill songs. Alongside Bebe and Leslie on stage were Gregory Butler and Shawn Emamjomeh, as two rough denizens of the bar, and Ed Dixon as the general proprietor.

There was no linear storyline to the show and no spoken dialogue, but Bebe described how the evening unfolded “in a very logical and emotional, fulfilling way.” All of the songs presented “[described] the interaction between these five people there, that make it necessary to sing the next song.” Rather than taking a group of songs by a particular composer and imposing a narrative on them, the songs were interwoven together to create an “impressionistic and realistic painting of this person’s life.”

To give a summary of the show’s arc, Jenny initially descends the wire staircase into the bar, with little more than a frightened expression and a small bag of wordly possessions. Accosted by the two forceful patrons, she’s flattened down both physically and emotionally. The men depart and return throughout, and the emotional core of the piece fluctuates from song to song as each number evokes a different picture and interpretation of a circumstance or feeling. As reviewers put it, “she’s sometimes bold, sometimes reticent, until she leaves…with what seems like a modicum of self-possession and hope,” and “climbs that long staircase on her way into the world again.”

The idea for creating Here Lies Jenny came out of Bebe’s own desire to put together a piece of theatre and an evening of performance of her own. It was a notion intensified by growing external interest, or as she recalled, “people have always said to me ‘Do a show, do a show, do a one woman show!’”

But for a while the form the piece would take was unclear. Bebe knew she “didn’t want to do a revue”, and she didn’t want “the usual cabaret thing… [or] ‘Bebe and Her Boys.’”

“I generally hate one women shows,” she would remark, “unless it’s Elaine Stritch or Chita Rivera or, you know, Patti LuPone.”

According to Bebe, she’s “much more comfortable as a character doing something. I'm not comfortable just being myself and singing in front of people.”

On and off for around two and a half years then, Bebe had been considering how to approach this matter while putting together some music, predominantly that of Kurt Weill, with musician, conductor and friend from Chicago, Leslie Stifelman.

Leslie suggested bringing in a director, so Bebe turned to Roger Rees – a person she regards as “not just a great actor,” but also “a fantastic director”, with a “very interesting creative mind.” Showing Roger the songs, he “realised that they all described women, or aspects of women, or different times in women’s lives.”

Roger thought it would be interesting then to combine all of these varied sentiments and have them channelled through one specific woman, in one specific location, to present a complex but diversely applicable tapestry centred around the emotional interiority of one tangible female force.

The show is “fragmented, prismatic…less narrative than poetic,” according to Roger. It’s not prescriptive. Rather, it evokes strong feelings and allows the audience to interpret them into their own individual and personal narrative for this woman. It poses questions and provokes thoughts. Who is this woman? Why is she here? Why is she here now? Is that a child? Or is that just a wish for a child? What did she have in this life before we meet her and what has she now lost?

It is indeed an unusual entity, and atypical from other more standard revues, cabaret acts, or works of theatre. A “self-described Japanophile”, Bebe explained how it played in the “Japanese aesthetic concept known as wabi sabi.” Of this she would elaborate, “There’s no direct translation, but it’s about the beauty of things as they age, embracing what’s painful in life as well as what’s joyful.”

It is certainly a piece that contains beauty as well as pain, which itself is a complexity and dichotomy often ascribed to Kurt Weill’s music.

When initially finding and working on songs for what was to become Here Lies Jenny, Bebe noticed being drawn to the work of one composer most strongly.

Like Bernadette Peters talking about how she gravitates to selecting Stephen Sondheim’s material for her concerts, Bebe would say simply, “all of the music that I loved the most was Kurt Weill music.”

A revue in 1991 called Cabaret Verboten (also with Roger Rees), that sought to recreate a Weimar Republic cabaret and re-conjure some of the decadence of pre-Nazi Germany, increased Bebe’s exposure to Kurt Weill’s music and was where she “first became captivated by the composer”. Building on this strong connection and deep appreciation in the years since then, Bebe would assert of his music, “it resonates for me.”

“Neuwirth knows Weill’s music isn’t for everyone,” one reviewer wrote, “but she won’t apologize for it.” She sees its capacity to be “appreciated on many different levels,” and has described it on varying occasions as “unflinchingly honest”, “very fulfilling to perform”, not just “arch and angular and Germanic…[as] many people think”, but as having “great lyricism and tenderness”.

Bebe feels a strong affinity for Weill’s music in part because of its “ability to convey the truth completely and fearlessly and without artifice”. For example, “If you're talking about heartbreak, [his music] goes to the absolute nth degree of what that really means. The way he shows that is with fearless lyrics and the bravery to make the music as beautiful as it can be.”

“Maybe the way I appreciate it speaks to the kind of person I am,” she would say. “I’m very bright but not an intellectual. I like things in a visceral, passionate and spiritual way.” And to Bebe, Weill’s music certainly provides that – which was why devising this show was of such importance and significance to her.

 Bebe said also that “the show offers the broad range of Weill's songwriting talents.” This is indeed a truism, with the work of no fewer than ten different lyrists being showcased across the nearly two dozen songs during the evening, including Berthold Brecht, Ira Gershwin, Alan Jay Lerner, Langston Hughes, and Ogden Nash.

The different styles and languages of Kurt Weill’s music mirror Weill’s own history and geographic progression through the world. Born in Germany, “Weill, a Jew, had to flee the Nazis at the height of his popularity. He fled to France and then to the United States, where he became a citizen in 1943.”

His songs reflect the world in which he was living. For instance, ‘The Bilbao Song’ is a tale of sometimes gleeful, sometimes regretful nostalgia and comes from a collaboration with Berthold Brecht in German. It is performed here only in English through the use of “Michael Feingold's now-accepted translation”. The Brechtian-ism is a feature of this production as a whole that was remarked on at the time, being appraised there was “more than a dash of an alienation effect at play,” with material being sung for example behind grilled windows or facing away from the audience.

His French material is alternately reflective of the musical identity Weill tried to devise while having to reinvent himself from scratch in France. Bebe performs one of these French numbers here, entitled ‘Je ne t'aime pas’, which has its own poetic lyricism, and indeed mournful significance, given the translation of the title as ‘I don’t love you’.

Alternately, jazzy, Broadway glamour is comparatively evident in some songs like ‘The Saga of Jenny’ from musicals that arose in America on the Great White Way out of the era of Golden Age of the American musical in the ‘40s to the 60’s.

This show was ambitious then, in its mission of exploring a wide range of the composer’s musical contributions across multiple decades, countries, styles of music, and lyrical collaborations.

Beyond his own musicals, Kurt Weill’s music has been notably seen elsewhere on Broadway or in the theatre world via interpretations such as songs in concerts with Betty Buckley, Patti LuPone, Ute Lemper; or full stage productions with Donna Murphy as Lotte Lenya in Hal Prince’s 2007 Lovemusik; or Lenya’s recordings herself.

Much of Kurt Weill’s legacy lives on through his wife, Lotte Lenya, who was seen as his “chief interpreter… [and] largely responsible for reviving interest in the composer” after his death.

Like Lotte with her “whisky baritone”, Bebe is able to convey meaningful interpretations of Weill’s music through her vocal richness and skilled acting choices, carefully controlling factors like timing, pronunciation and syllabic stress.

An example. Bebe does the most satisfying version of ‘The Bilbao Song’ I have heard. There’s a line in this song that states: “Four guys from ‘frisco came with sacks of gold dust,” in which the last portion of the phrase is repeated a further two times. Bebe emphasises the third “SACKS, of gold dust?!” in the dramatic manner stylised through my punctuation in attempts at recreating its phonology, which contrasts against the two previous readings. This gives the line a salient narrative purpose. It conveys not just an observation, but a tale of surprise and incredulity – who on earth would walk into a bar carrying entire sacks of gold dust?

It may be seemingly just one small detail, but it has a large impact. Other versions that intonate all three repetitions of this line the same miss this engaging variation and feel flat in comparison.

This song would justly so later become a staple of her concert material – along with others like ‘Surabaya Johnny’ and ‘Susan’s Dream’.

But there is unfamiliar territory traversed in Here Lies Jenny too. The rendition of Ogden Nash’s lyrics with ‘I'm a Stranger Here Myself’ is ‘new’ – and it’s exquisite, in its melodic, lilting and playful but darkly seductive swirling sentiment.

Another notable number in need of individual mention would be ‘The Saga of Jenny’. There are two Kurt Weill songs most strongly associated with the ‘Jenny’ moniker – this, and the also well-known ‘Pirate Jenny’ from The Threepenny Opera, which Bebe had done a production of in 1999. The latter was trialled in early versions of the show but ultimately didn’t “serve the piece as well as other…moments could,” so was taken out. Fortunately, Bebe would later work it into her concerts.

The former made it in, and provides the exciting opportunity to get to hear Bebe’s take on this song as made well-known by a number of respected performers. ‘The Saga of Jenny’ appeared initially in Weill & Gershwin’s collaboration for the musical Lady in the Dark in 1941, starring Gertrude Lawrence. The song has since gone through innumerable reiterations, such as via Ginger Rogers in the 1944 film adaptation of the same name; Julie Andrews’ big-production performance in the Gertrude Lawrence biopic Star! in 1968; and other high-profile concert performances like via Ruthie Henshall, Christine Ebersole, Lynn Redgrave and Ute Lemper; along with Lotte Lenya’s own recordings.

Further extending the song’s life was ‘The Saga of Lenny’ – a version devised with new lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, performed by Lauren Bacall for Leonard Bernstein’s 70th Birthday in 1988. All of these are on YouTube and I would testify are worth a watch.

In this show, Bebe performs the number with the bravado of a war-time songbird. She strides around with an old-school 1940s microphone back and forth across the stage as she progresses through the song’s distinct chronological sections, grounding the show centrally back to its identifying moniker and characterising an eponymous, engaging and multiply varied ‘Jenny’.

When not bound to microphones, Here Lies Jenny also involved the use of Ann Reinking’s “minimal but inventive” choreography to create striking visual images. Though perhaps not resembling the fast-paced, razzle-dazzle of Chicago, these patterns of movement are at times no less impactful. Bebe is dragged fluidly across a countertop, rolled sinuously down pairs of legs, centred in a dark tango (that one review likened as a potential metaphor for a ménage à trois), or spun backwards upside down onto Emamjomeh’s shoulder in the air – to name a few notable moments.

Not a dance show by any strict sense, all of these demands are nonetheless physically taxing. This is a matter of importance given the timing of the show.

What Bebe had long deemed a “peculiar” hip from her early twenties, begun causing notable pain when it “went from peculiar to downright bad in 2001” during Fosse on Broadway. It was recorded the “pain continued during [this] high-concept Kurt Weill revue” in 2004, such that performing this manner of movement in the show can have been no trivial feat. The next three years brought subsequent arthroscopic surgery for cartilage removal, and then total hip replacement.

That being considered, the show was able to run in the highly demanding manner it did for five months straight because of Ann Reinking’s assiduously crafted choreography.

The Zipper Theatre was the “funky downtown Manhattan space” that housed the show for that time. The timing of the production and the nature of the theatre played integral parts in the piece’s characterisation.

Roger took Bebe to see the theatre when they were devising the show, and to Bebe, it felt right. “There is this creative gesture that we are making and the gesture is completed if it’s in this place.” Not in some new, shiny theatre; but here, with a darkness and sense of history that created an evocative mood similar to the tone of the whole show “as soon as you walked into the building.” This was aided by the show beginning at 11pm each night – “absolutely an artistic choice” – given that what “happens between these five people, happens very late at night”, in a shadowy time of day filled by darkness and secrets.

Here Lies Jenny ended its run in New York in October 2004. But this did not mark the end of the piece. Bebe and her troupe took the show to San Francisco in the Spring the following year – after a seven month interim that included filming thirteen episodes of Law and Order: Trial by Jury, the aforementioned hip cartilage removal, and subsequent recovery.

The show was not deemed flawless by everyone who reviewed it. Some thought it too dark or wished for less abstraction and ambiguity. But as one article would conclude, “Faults aside, it’s hard not to recommend a show devoted to Kurt Weill,” ultimately providing a “unique and polished evening at the theatre.”

Roger Rees would reflect on the show, “Weill & Neuwirth work so well together” because Bebe’s “high standard of performance” means she is able to “delve deeply and go on forever” into material he likened to being as complex as Shakespeare.

It “demands a great deal from a performer, and she is equal to it,” Roger said. “She’s very deep in herself. There’s nothing made up about [her], which is a rare and beautiful thing. The match between performer and material is exquisite.”

 This would likely mean a lot to Bebe, as the show itself meant a lot to Bebe. And still does several years later. She would cite it in 2012 as the “role she wish[ed] more people had seen”, as to her, it “was a beautiful, unusual piece of theatre”. Altogether, it was something ineffable and “bigger than the sum of its parts”.

“It’s something I've wanted to do, and I did instigate it,” she said, of putting the show together. But that’s not to say it was easy to helm matters. “For me to be in charge, makes me very uncomfortable.”

That the show got made at all then Bebe would recognise as “a testament to how deeply I love the material and how inspired it makes me.” Her trust in people like Leslie, Annie and Roger enabled the creation of such a project from the ground up that wouldn’t have otherwise existed. Thus, to borrow a phrase from Stephen Sondheim, it was the combination of both personal drive, and also the shared collaboration of four people who all “love each other very much” that ultimately ‘made a hat where there never was a hat.’

It was even further an important show to her, because it was “a very private thing.” She’d describe Jenny as a very physical and emotional role – “the most personal of anything I've done.”

It clearly holds a special place in Bebe’s own heart. Undoubtedly, it would be poignant to revisit again. As we look to the near future of theatre with shows that could feasibly be staged as events start coming back, in tandem with the publicly expressed desire of people wanting to see Bebe back on stage again, this pre-existing, modestly-sized, inventive piece would be no bad suggestion.

How about a Here Lies Jenny reprise when theatre returns?

[alcalavicci]

1988 interview with Dean. This is a really good one and helps bring more of his life into perspective. Note: the newspaper originally censored his swearing, but I’ve put it back.

Guthman, Edward. "Dean Stockwell: Third Time's a Charm." The San Francisco Examiner (San Francisco, California), August 14, 1988.

“Six years ago, Dean Stockwell's acting career had turned to dust. Reduced to playing parts in unreleasable, made-in-Mexico movies that now make him cringe, Stockwell decided to chuck it all and get out of Hollywood.

“Along with his second wife, Joy, Stockwell moved to Santa Fe, settled down under the wide New Mexico sky and applied for a real estate license. He even placed an ad in Daily Variety to announce his exile: 'Dean Stockwell will help you with all your real estate needs in the new center of creative energy.'

“Stockwell never sold a house; he didn't need to. Instead, almost as soon as he'd relocated, things started happening to the former 1940s child star. It began with a small part in David Lynch's 'Dune,' and escalated with an important supporting role in Wim Wenders' highly regarded 'Paris, Texas.'

“Moving back to California to cash in on his fortune, Stockwell acted in 'Beverly Hills Cop II,' 'Gardens of Stone,' and 'To Live and Die in L.A.' He also played a cameo role, as Howard Hughes, in the newly released 'Tucker: The Man and His Dream.' And in 'Blue Velvet,' David Lynch's American nightmare, he delivered a chilling cameo as Ben, a waxlike, sexually ambiguous drug dealer.

“And now, at 52, Stockwell says he's found 'the favorite role I've had, by far.'

“The picture is 'Married to the Mob,' a dark, romantic comedy by Jonathan Demme ('Melvin and Howard,' 'Stop Making Sense') and Stockwell plays Mafia don Tony 'the Tiger' Russo. Wearing an Al Capone fedora and full-length vicuna coat, Tony is a rich, sardonic, larger-than-life character -- the kind Stockwell has never had a chance to play until now.

“Opening Friday at the Galaxy and UA the Movies, 'Married to the Mob' has been touted as Demme's first shot at a genuine box-office winner. Set in Long Island, New Jersey and Florida, it stars Michelle Pfeiffer as Angela DeMarco, a young Mafia wife who tries to start a new life when her husband, Frankie 'the Cucumber' DeMarco, is pumped full of lead during a hot-tub tryst at the Fantasia Motel.

“When Stockwell's character isn't ordering hits, drug deals and the dumping of toxic waste, he's lusting assiduously after the gorgeous widow. Meanwhile, bumbling FBI agent Mike Downey (played by Matthew Modine) is jumping through hoops trying to shadow Angela and 'catch Tony with his pants down.' Instead, he falls in love with Angela.

“During a recent luncheon interview, not far from his central California home, Stockwell spoke about the film, about his new happiness as the father of two children and about the bizarre trajectory of his long career. Dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and slacks, wearing a Panama hat and drawing first on a cigaret, later on a cigar, Stockwell emanates prosperity and calm.

“'I don't know why I was unemployed so long,' he says, reflecting on a fallow period that started in the '60s and lasted the better part of two decades. 'The only thing I can figure out in my own mind is that, for some reason or another, I was being made to wait until a certain time in my life when my talent would reach its full maturity and fruition.'

“Ironically, he says, he felt just as equipped 10 years ago to do the work he's doing now -- 'only I couldn't get fucking arrested.'

“Today, Stockwell sees harmony in the fact that his new success coincides with the arrival of two children. His son, Austin, will be 5 in November, and his daughter, Sophia, turns 3 this month. Inordinately proud and protective, he refuses to allow his children to be photographed, and also requests that the town in which he and his family reside not be named. (There were no children from his first marriage, to Millie Perkins, which lasted from 1960 to 1962.)

“'I want to make a lot of money and I want to put it away for my children,' he says. To that end, Stockwell has been snapping up job offers. 'A lot of people ask me, "How have you been able to choose these wonderful things you're doing? Have you been very selective?" And I have to tell them, "I haven't been choosing what I'm doing." Things have been coming and I've been accepting virtually anything that's come.'

“Stockwell's ambition is so great that, for the first time in his life, he actively pursues aspects of his career that he once shunned- interviews, for example.

“'My entire motivation in life is my family,' he says. 'I don't need to get an award. I don't need recognition. I've had that already. What I need is to provide. The best way I can provide is to be successful, and the best way I can be successful is to take advantage of all the things at my disposal to achieve that, one of which certainly is press.'

“Take a look at the young Stockwell, specifically the version that emerges from old magazine and newspaper interviews, and you meet another person altogether.

“Robbed of a normal childhood, Stockwell had made 22 films by the time he was 15 -- including 'The Boy with Green Hair,' 'Kim,' 'Anchors Aweigh,' and the Oscar-winning 'Gentleman's Agreement.' Working nonstop, he had a privileged life that millions of children probably envied, but he loathed it nonetheless.

“The son of show-business parents -- his father, Harry Stockwell, was the voice of the Prince in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,' and his mother, Betty Veronica, was a former stage dancer -- Stockwell made his professional debut at 7. It all happened by a fluke: when Stockwell accompanied his older brother, Guy, on a Broadway audition, the casting director took a liking to both boys, and cast each one. The play, aptly enough, was called 'Innocent Voyage,' and it led to an MGM contract for curly-haired Dean.

“From the beginning, the pressure on young Stockwell was intense. His parents had divorced when he was 6, and when his father defaulted on child-support payments, Dean reluctantly became the family provider. Over a six-year period, he averaged three to four films per year.

“At home, he says, 'There was a lot of friction... I was getting all the attention, but I hated it. [Guy] couldn't appreciate that, because he wasn't getting the attention. He had all these friends, his peer group, that he took for granted. I had none and I resented him for being able to live that way. I was fucking lonely.'

“When he was 13, chained to a seven-year contract, Stockwell was described by one magazine as 'a young rebel who despises acting and resents every moment it takes from his fleeting boyhood.' Many years later, Stockwell told columnist Hedda Hopper, 'Child actors exist in a sort of limbo between childhood and maturity and belong to neither. Adults take them too seriously and other children are either awed or hostile. A child actor can find friends in neither group.'

“Finally, Stockwell fled Hollywood when he was 16. He cut off his curly locks, started using his real name, Robert Stockwell, and for the next five years roamed the country, working menial jobs and disavowing his true identity. 'People that might have known me from seeing my films knew me as a young child,' he remembers. 'Now I was 17 and I wasn't that recognizable.'

“Around the time of his 21st birthday, Stockwell was pushing papers as mail boy to a Manhattan plumbing firm. 'Of all the jobs that I'd had in those intervening years,' he remembers. 'I think I hated that worse than anything. I came to the realization I had no training at anything. My primary education was very skimpy, very poor, and happened under the worst type of conditions. I was literally at the mercy of the world.'

“Most of Stockwell's childhood earnings were squandered by crooked accountants, he says, and he knew that the tiny sum being held in a trust wouldn't last forever. 'So I thought, "What am I gonna do? Well, let's go back and attack this [acting career] again, and see if I can do it a little more on my terms."'

“What followed for Stockwell was a brief but impressive 'second career.' He starred in the 1959 film 'Compulsion,' based on the Leopold-Loeb case of the '20s, and won a joint acting award with Orson Welles and Bradford Dillman at the Cannes Film Festival. He played the lead in the 1960 film of D. H. Lawrence's 'Sons and Lovers,' and in 1962 scored the plum role of Edmund Tyrone in Sidney Lumet's film version of 'Long Day's Journey Into Night,' holding his own alongside Katharine Hepburn, Ralph Richardson and Jason Robards.

“Stockwell was winning the best parts, but found his attention drifting elsewhere. What was happening, he says, were the first signs of the '60s youth revolution. 'It captured my imagination as much as anybody's. And it represented to me -- I can see this in retrospect -- something in childhood that I had missed: the freedom and loving being alive, without responsibilities and work and having to report to the studio every day, and deal with fans and interviews and shit that I hated when I was a kid.'

“So Stockwell called his agent, said, 'I'm not workin',' and dropped out once again. When he tried to come back three years later, though, 'I found it very difficult, 'cause I'd been out-of-sight, out-of-mind.' What followed was a long period of marginal employment: He found some TV work, took parts in low-budget trash ('The Dunwich Horror') and occasional oddities (Dennis Hopper's 'The Last Movie') and co-directed a film with musician Neil Young ('Human Highway') but often just didn't work at all. At one point, he went 18 months without a job.

“Today, along with his buddy Hopper, Stockwell is enjoying a major career renaissance. And with his starring role in 'Married to the Mob,' he says, he's never felt more confident.

“'I knew before I started the film that this character was going to work in spades,' he says, adding that Demme, as director, deserves credit for taking a risk with such offbeat casting. Instead of picking Peter Falk, Vincent Gardenia or another ethnically identified actor to play the Mafia don, he went with Stockwell (who is actually half-Italian on his mother's side).

“Demme's inspiration occurred on a flight from Los Angeles to New York, when he opened a copy of the Hollywood Reporter. Stockwell had just changed agents, and in order to announce the fact, had taken out a full-page ad. Demme saw the picture, and instantly recognized his Tony.

“Weirdly enough, Stockwell made another film immediately prior to 'Married to the Mob': a Canadian feature called 'Palais Royale,' due for an October release, in which he plays a character almost identical to Tony Russo.

“'It's very curious,' he says. 'For all my years I'd never had a role like this come my way, and here it was twice. The Mafia don in New York, the Mafia don in Toronto, both of them colorful and charming and also threatening. And I just thought, "What am I gonna do? It's the same character." So I decided to do the same character in both those movies.'

“To take the coincidence 'one nauseating step further,' Stockwell says he's also got a part in the recently completed 'Backtrack,' Hopper's next film. This time he plays a corrupt mob lawyer, dropping the Italian accent for a generalized East Coast sound.

“It would be difficult to find a film actor who's busier than Stockwell at this moment. And it would be difficult to find anyone whose job history better illustrates the vicissitudes, serendipities and insecurity of a Hollywood career.

“Looking back on his misfortunes -- at the career that he was forced to accept as a child, and the humiliation he felt when he couldn't maintain it as an adult -- Stockwell says he's not bitter. 'When you reach your maturity, I think it behooves you to accept the fact that it's absolutely futile and fruitless even to speculate on changing anything in your life. All you can do is get embittered. So I accept everything that's happened as part of my life, and try to push it in a positive direction from the moment right now.'”

[offbeatcappuccino]

Do You Like Brahms? Final Review (Spoilers!)

Cast: Kim Min Jae, Park Eun Bin, Park Ji Hyun, Kim Seong Chul

Streaming Platform: KOCOWA TV

Year: 2020

Rating : 8.9/10 

Synopsis:

Do You Like Brahms? is a drama set against the backdrop of the field of classical music in Korea. The story revolves around two protagonists Park Joon Young (Kim Min Jae) , a talented piano prodigy, who’s won numerous accolades at various global piano competitions, and Chae Song Ah ( Park Eun Bin) , a business major who decided to repeat four years of undergrad to major in violin. Their stories intersect when Joon Young decides to return to Korea for a sabbatical after his successful North American tour and Song Ah chooses to take an internship at the Kyunghoo Cultural Foundation, the same foundation which offered its first scholarship to Joon Young to help support his musical studies. The growing relationship between the two characters and the conflicts that they face with their friends and families as they struggle to succeed professionally, but also personally forms the crux of the plot.

The title of the drama Do You Like Brahms? has a lot of significance to the actual plot of the show. Johannes Brahms was an accomplished German composer and the most famous story about this personal life is his unwavering love for Clara Schuman, the wife of another famous composer, Robert Schuman. The title is significant in the drama because Brahms is the only composer that Joon Young outright refuses to play, but also because both Joon Young’s life and to a certain extent Song Ah’s as well parallel Brahms’ own life.

Pros:

Realistic & Healthy Relationships: Almost all the romantic relationships that I’ve seen in all the dramas I watched this year all had some sort of  “fate” element that brought them together. For instance, in It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Ko Mun Yeong and Moon Gang Tae were acquainted with each other as children, but then drifted apart after Ko Mun Yeong practically spooked the living daylight out of Gang Tae. However, In Do You Like Brahms, both Park Joon Young and Chae Song Ah meet by random chance and its really heartwarming to see their relationships progress in the same way that it does for many people. They start out as acquaintances at work, who quickly become friends, before committing to a serious relationship towards the later half of the series. Seeing them at all three stages is truly heartwarming and comforting, especially due to the strong chemistry shared between the two leads. 

Unlike other characters in other k-dramas, Joon Young and Song Ah aren’t dramatic in the way they show their affection to each other. We don’t have some crazy scene where one saves the other’s life or even the typical k-drama piggyback scene that happens whenever the female lead gets too drunk. Rather, we see scenes where affection is conveyed by the way that Joon Young asks Song Ah if she’s done with class, or whether they want to grab dinner together. It’s the way that the very shy and timid Song Ah feels comfortable enough to pull Joon Young’s strings from time to time, or how she gifts Joon Young an umbrella because he doesn’t own one. Similarily, Joon Young shows how much he cares about Song Ah in the way that he uses the beige  handkerchief hat she gave him to clean his piano or how his usual sad face lights up every single time he sees Song Ah’s smile. 

Another aspect of Joon Young and Song Ah’s relationship that I truly admire is how good these two are at active listening. Even during their most explosive arguments, they never try to cut each other off and make a genuine attempt at listening to each other. When one of them is having a rough day, there isn’t this desperate attempt by the other to offer useless advice. Instead, they just let the other just vent as much as they want, while they’re sipping on another cup of tea. Even when things are rough, they constantly respect each other’s boundaries. However, the show also acknowledges that their relationship is not perfect by any means and its nice to see them work through their problems. Overall, it’s really nice to see a k-drama that doesn’t glorify toxic relationships.

Realistic and Nuanced Acting : A common problem that arises when you’re doing any type of drama based on playing an instrument is that very often a show will show an instrument being played the wrong way, or will rely on professional musicians as body doubles to play the instrument. As someone who played violin from the ages of 11-17, I can confirm that this drama does such a good job highlighting all the nuances that come with playing the violin, whether it be tuning your instrument , your string breaking, or even rubbing rosin against your bow, and even the sentiment surrounding being last chair in orchestra was really nice to see because you know the show writers really did their research when they decided to write the script for the drama. Also, major shout out to Park Eun Bin for her vibrato technique and I guess it helps that she played violin at the college level. Same goes for Kim Min Jae, who also knows how to play piano. Fun fact about the show is that many of the pieces played by the characters in the show were actually played by the actors themselves and they spent a considerable amount of time brushing up on their skills to play some pretty complicated pieces. 

Cons:

Conflict: It doesn’t take long for viewers of the show to figure out that there are some serious obstacles in Joon Young and Song Ah’s relationship with one of them being Joon Young’s inability to prioritize and move on from his past. This is an issue that somewhat works itself out in this drama, but I think the other more serious issue for this couple was the very apparent disparity these two had in their professional lives.

 One issue in this relationship was how insecure Song Ah felt because she was not an accomplished musician like Joon Young and was being constantly berated by those around her that she simply was not good enough to be Joon Young’s girlfriend. One of the major scenes in this show was Song Ah’s advisor straight up telling her that she would be a “good wife” to Joon Young by taking care of him before his performances and by doing so, completely invalidating Song Ah’s own professional dreams of becoming a violinist and her own journey in music. While Song Ah does ultimately quit the violin for valid reasons and ventures into the world of music management and event planning, it was somewhat disheartening to see that Song Ah really does end up doing exactly what her professor said she would and it was also disappointing that Song Ah and Joon Young did not ever really have a sincere discussion about this issue, especially considering the toll that it was taking on Song Ah’s life. 

This brings me to one of the biggest cons of the show, which is that both Song Ah and Joon Young have serious issues in their life outside of their relationship, which they never confront individually or discuss with each other. In addition, the way the show is written, there is no room for resolution of these issues and we’re left with an ending that is sweet and romantic, but also feels like the show was wrapped up way too quickly. 

Lee Jung Kyung: Most complaints about second leads on k-dramas is that they do not get a proper storyline and many viewers are left wanting more scenes of the second leads. The problem with this show is the exact opposite, which is that the second lead in this show has absolutely way too much screen time. Lee Jung Kyung is a poorly written character, who at many times comes off as whiny, self-absorbed, and irrational in her newfound infatuation with Joon Young. I understand that she’s supposed to be a source of conflict for the main couple, but so much of the plot was devoted to Lee Jung Kyung, when the writers could have been investing that time on Song Ah’s and Joon Young’s character development and conflict resolution. 

[trekkiepirate]

I know this seems very random, and quite sudden, but what kind of girls/women do you think Joey is interested in? I’m thinking of changing my style/personality for him, in case he HATES the current version of me, and I was just wondering what his type is?

Dear Nonny, I need you to imagine we are sitting across from each other and I am holding your hand and looking into your eyes when I say this, because I need to you know how sincere and truthful I am being.

It. Doesn't. Matter. You are fantastic just as you are now, with your current style and personality. You have been building your style and personality since you were young, collecting ideas and things that spoke to something in you and crafting who you are now. You are loved and lovable just as you are right now. And as you get older, you'll continue changing and growing and adding to all the things that make you unique and you'll continue being loved and lovable. Believe me that's the FUN part of life. Do not change who are, because in reality it'll be a surface change. You'll still love what you love, you'll just be building a thin veneer over it so whatever Joey or someone else likes buries it underneath. I'mma quote some song lyrics at you "I'm trying so hard not to bury myself/beneath the dirt and the flowers of somebody else/yeah beauty is blinding and darkness runs deep/I wanna hold onto him but still hold on to me." Don't bury parts of you away because you think they aren't good enough, aren't worthy. Especially don't for a romantic partner you don't have. That way lies madness, take it from someone who has walked down that exact path before realizing actors/musicians/celebrities are just fellow humans bumbling through the world. Trust me, I live in LA and have met several. They're not precious angels with no sins, they aren’t pretentious monsters who demand you get out of their way (okay some are but I have had blessed little interaction with those folks). They're humans. So giggle over them, and swoon and sigh, but don’t start cutting off and hiding pieces of yourself just because you or someone else THINKS they wouldn’t like those parts of you.

Joey is gorgeous, yeah. My admiration of his gorgeousness is a fact known far and wide at this point. He’s funny and talented and probably a good person at heart. But he is not the end all, be all and he shouldn't be. For starter for 10, we have no complete proof he is romantically interested in women. Or in men. Or in anyone. He could be gay. He could be aroace. And then you’ll have changed yourself for someone who genuinely cannot romantically love you back. As someone who fell for a not insignificant number of gay boys in high school, that path leads only to heartbreak and feeling bad about yourself. Step off it now. I wish I’d learned that quick enough, so please learn from my mistakes.

Whether Joey would find you a viable romantic partner isn't important. Joey isn't important. Because if you're willing to change basically everything about yourself for a man you don't know? Babes, I am holding your hands and looking at you with tears in my eyes to tell you, I have been there. I have done that. Don't do it. Do not do it. Please.

You have so much to offer. And stop shaking your head because I don't know that. You're anon, I don't know who you are, how could I possibly understand? I understand because I have stood/sat where you are. Convinced something is wrong with you. That if you just find the magical set of traits/looks you will win the heart of whoever you most desire. That if you could just be prettier, more interesting, less yourself, you'll get someone you like to fall in love with you.

That ain't how love, real love, lasting love works. Real love comes when you and your partner(s) change together. With each other. You pick up little personality traits (like those you already have) from each other. You learn things together. You create inside jokes that no one in the world but you lovebirds will understand.

If you're inspired to learn something new because of Joey, lean into that instead! Maybe you want to learn an instrument or write songs or do standup or learn French (I’m doing this!) or play D’n’D or listen to a band he likes, go for it! Because something he does speaks to a desire you have to try something new! Learn something new! Heck, I can speak conversational Welsh due in no small part to Taron Egerton and Gareth David-Lloyd being distressing attractive humans ☺ But I learned Welsh because the language intrigued me (or I would have quit early on, it’s hell until you figure out the grammar tricks) and all those two had to do with it was bringing my attention to it. And then something in me (I am assuming the 2% of Welsh heritage in my DNA) saw the challenge of it and went "eh, why not?" So if you find something about Joey super cool, examine if it’s because He Does The Thing or if you’re just interested in The Thing, try it out! If you don’t like it, you can stop at any time. Honestly, I know Joey likes Slipknot, but he would have to physically sit me in a chair and then sit himself on my legs so I cannot leave and hold my hands so I cannot cover my ears if he wants me to listen to a Slipknot album. Maybe I’ll like them and maybe I won’t, but I have no earthly desire to listen to them currently and don’t see that changing any time soon.

Do not change a lot of things about who you are because you think it will make you more attractive to someone you don't know, whether Joey or another celebrity or even someone in your immediate world. Because if that person is the kind who WANTS you to change who you are, who only likes you when you are performing Their Type for them, then they aren't worth any of your precious time, babes. No matter how gorgeous or talented or funny.

And if you want to talk about how you're feeling, I am in no way licensed professional but I can emphasize with you and what you are going through. So message me, or if you prefer to stay anon, send me another ask and tell me to answer privately. I just want to know you're okay. It's hard and it sucks when you’re feeling less than, like no one could possibly fall in love with your mess. I feel that way every damn day of my life. I'm here, if you need a friend.

[valkyriebrunie]

Getting to Know You

Getting to Know All About You.

Another tag game, yo! Tag 8 People You’d Like to Get to Know Better! I was tagged by the most incredible @movrings​! You’re the only one who tags me in things! Thank you, Love! <3

1. Favorite Colors:

Pale lavender, mint or sea foam green, light pink, and peach, Tiffany Blue

2. Last Song I Listened To:

Ultraviolet by Freya Ridings. It just feels so ethereal with a solid slow beat. Relaxing. Her voice is just so wonderful to listen to when you unwind. She can sound kind of other worldly. To me, it’s reminiscent of both flying or feeling the sensation of a soft waterfall beating down on you.

3. Favorite Musicians:

Florence + The Machine, Kate Bush, Queen, Lady Gaga, David Bowie, The Judds, Duran Duran, Edith Piaf, Jessie J, Anna Natrebko. And many mooooooore!

4. Last Movie I Watched:

Bringing Up Baby

Oh. My. God. This movie! First of all, I am biased. My mother named me after Katherine Hepburn. But! I feel like it’s a prime part of cinematic history. It’s been a favorite of mine since I was little. This is an old fashioned farce, with two amazing comedic actors, a leopard, and a dog. The chemistry between Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn is mind-blowing. And their comic timing together, it’s just legendary. Two thumbs up.

5. Favorite Character

So many good ones! I mean, Jaskier from The Witcher, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, Agent Peggy Carter (Marvel), The Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher, Tannis from Letterkenny, Mercy Thompson from the series by Patricia Briggs, Buffy (all the different incarnations, Kristy Swanson included). But my favorite, for years now, has been one half of my OTP.

Stiles Stillinski (Teen Wolf)

Best character on the show. By far. And best acted too. Teen Wolf didn’t deserve Dylan O’Brien and the terrible story line certainly didn’t deserve Stiles. That’s why I’m so thankful:

(Meme source: @writing-and-nutmeg​ )

6. Last TV Show:

Two of them! I keep switching back and forth. The first I watch when I feel the need for a bit of levity, and the second, when I’m in a more serious mood:

a. Letterkenny

This one took me completely by delighted surprise. I really do recommend. The characters really make an impression. But each of them. They just get under your skin, but in a good way. This is a seriously talented ensemble cast, really well written and the quips are whip-smart and take you by surprise. Fair warning, this makes the show incredibly quotable and days later you will still be muttering things like, “pitter patter,” “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?,” “hard no,” and “Figure it out!”

b. Elementary

So, I love mysteries. And since I was wee, I’ve been a fan of Sherlock Holmes. I really like this iteration. The fact that Watson is a Joan and not a John is interesting as is the premise that she begins as Sherlock’s sober companion. And I love that they don’t creep into the area of romance between the two of them, they’re just bros for life. That dynamic as well as the mysteries and solves, no matter how rediculous or unrealistic certain events happen to be, just makes it so enjoyable for me.

7. Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Sweet & Savory together. Never Spicy.

8. Sparkling Water, Tea, or Coffee:

NEVER sparkling water. Flat for me! Preferably Tea, got addicted during Study Abroad. Blame the Brits. Coffee for a treat. But like, super sweet coffee.

9. Pets:

Cap’n Jack (the surly Bichon) and Baby James (the recently domesticated street dog)

Cap’n Jack, a.k.a. Jacker Snacker, a.k.a. Snacky, a.k.a. Snackus Aurelius. He is a grumpy old man who likes to dance/trot towards you as he tosses his head in an unparalleled display of adorableness. Baby James is a giant dork with an under bite, a crooked bottom canine, and a mohawk growing up the bridge of his nose to his forehead. Couple this appearance with the way he cocks his head to listen, and he resembles a velociraptor crossed with an orc. But in a way that makes you want to coo at him and give him kisses. These noodles. They drive me bananas.

Well, that was fun! Hope you enjoyed! I’m tagging @theannettles​, @jim-im-a-doctor-not-a-physicist​, @dontstepinmypuddle​, @swingsetindecember​, @pantstomatch​, and anyone else who feels the need!

[i-like-yoongi-a-latte]

17, 18, 35, 36 :)

Once again, under the cut because I ramble! Includes rambling about Harry Styles and what home means to me. 💕 Fun fact! Harry and Teuvo are the same age and I haven’t known peace since I found out!

I don’t even know if you like these answers, it’s basically me gushing about H.

unusual(ish) asks

17. google the top song from the year you were born

Too Close by Next, according to Billboard

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion according to some hit list of Finland

18. rant about your favorite musician

I’ll take this as an opportunity to ramble about Harry Styles, as I talked about Louis in the previous one. So, where to start... I’m still amazed that he’s so young and he’s achieved so much. Like, he’s four years older than me, and it felt like he was ‘old��� when I was a teen, but still he felt young?? Now when I think of him, he’s definitely young. I mean, he’s the same age as Teuvo Teräväinen - I still don’t know how to feel about it. He was a baby during the X-Factor and he was so nervous and shy and adorable. I get emotional when I remember that one gifset where he���s younger and his hands shake (and his voice is shaky) and then under that gif is a more recent one where his hands shake a bit, but he’s so confident on stage now. It’s been a wonderful journey to like, grow with him (and all the other boys too) and see him evolve into the great musician and actor he is now. He has lived his teenage years in the spotlight and he hasn’t really had the normal life, he was 16 when all this started. He’s the one who sang the most in One Direction, he was put on the spotlight and after the hiatus news, when he started his solo career, he was on the spotlight much more than Louis, for example. His album got more promo and attention - don’t get me wrong, he deserves it all, but it feels wrong that Louis got basically nothing even though he’s just as talented as Harry is.

He’s had the womanizer trait put on him since he was a teen. It was said that a teen likes older women and that he dates a lot of women. That makes me mad and my heart breaks every time I’m reminded about it. He had to say that he really isn’t a womanizer A LOT OF TIMES and yet media still covers him as the womanizer. Like, when asked what his favorite part of a woman is, this boy answers with “I don’t know, maybe a smile” or something like that. And he’s said the comment “that objectifies women” in interviews too, when asked something weird. Like, he was actively telling that he isn’t like that, but it felt like nobody really cared. He’s really humble too, like when asked in interview, if he had to list the top five things in being in a band/singing/being an artist, he said that money wouldn’t be on the list. I believe that he’s being sincere and I can see that he loves to perform and write songs etc. He’s so down-to-earth in my opinion, he seems so happy and grateful that he can do what he loves. My heart is about to burst.

His vocal range, the songs he writes - phew this man is talented. His voice is beautiful, he shows so much emotion in his songs - Falling for example, he sounds so raw in it. And his performances, he really knows how to be on stage, like he dances around and he just has the thing for performing, you can see it. He dances like he doesn’t care, he’s clearly having fun and encouraging the audience to have fun too. About the songs, my favorites are Kiwi, Sweet Creature, Golden and Sunflower, Vol. 6. They have nice and kind of quirky elements in them and I love them for that. I love the Fine Line album a lot, give it a listen - I promise it’s not like the usual boyband stuff. He’s also an actor, which is amazing, and he’s a model for Gucci - what can’t he do?

He’s the sweetest and he’s so funny too. I’ll admit, he wasn’t my favorite during the One Direction hype, because I was stupid and didn’t want to like the one who was put in front of me and he was everyone’s favorite. He cares for his fans, he’s so kind to everyone - I really haven’t heard if he’s been angry at someone or anything like that. He’s very respectful and from what I’ve heard, he’s quite shy. His sense of humor is kind of underrated, not everyone gets his weird jokes. I mean, him saying “I can’t write songs” in a teary voice and writing a banger after another - we love this kind of humor in this household! It’s basically me yelling “I can’t write good essays” when in reality I’m quite good (wow me praising myself what is this). He also talks kind of slowly and his voice is very calming. People might think that he’s boring because he talks so slowly, and miss a part of his personality when they don’t listen to him. I could listen to him talk for hours because he seems like a person who would chat about everything with you. Personally I think he’s really funny and I relate to him, and I really look up to him in a way. I want to be more confident, and he gives me an example of it. He’s been on movie set and he ate alone because he was feeling shy, which is a huge contrast to what he is on stage. If he can be shy and reserved but at the same time very confident and open, why can’t I? This might sound silly but I am serious, I really want to learn that. Louis makes me want to try my best even though it might get hard sometimes, and Harry makes me want to be myself and not to be ashamed of it.

He’s actively telling people to treat people with kindness, which is great in my opinion. If people were more kind to each other, maybe the negativity in the world would decrease, even a bit. And I think that when he says tpwk, he wants to tell that he should be treated with kindness too, because he’s been in the media’s eye for many years and he’s been treated badly too. I want to be kind to people even without him telling me, but I feel like him using his voice to even try to tell this to people is great and important. Be kind!! To yourself and others!

Reading this over, I sound so mushy and soft - which I am. I mean, I love him.

35. what does home mean to you?

Home to me is a warm and safe place where I can be myself and be vulnerable, let my guard down. Home could be a person too, a person who makes me feel safe, warm, and with who I can be myself. Is it cheesy to say that home could be a person whose arms would give me the warmth that feels like fireplace and their cuddles would make me feel safe...? Home means love - whether it’s with someone or alone. (that’s so deep wooooooooooooooow)

Home as a word reminds me of One Direction’s song called Home and Harry’s song Sweet Creature. And all the other times their songs have home mentioned because my life is full of One Direction. (and I have no other life but they make me happy so) This is not even a part of the question but I started...

I mean look at the chorus of Home: “And it's alright / Calling out for somebody to hold tonight / When you're lost, I'll find a way / I'll be your light / You'll never feel like you're alone / I'll make this feel like home”. This makes me feel reassured somehow, like there’s this other person who will make the place feel like home, which to me is a safe place, so I interpret this as that. I’m rambling about lyrics and not answering to the question directly, sorry.

“Sweet creature, sweet creature / Wherever I go, you bring me home” - this is so heart-warming because the other makes the other feel like home and I could gush about this for ages. Like the ‘you’ in the song brings the other home, wherever they are, and that’s sweet because the person brings home to that other person without literally moving a place, because the home is that person and/or the feeling of home comes with the person. “Two hearts in one home” sounds so sweet and it makes me feel so soft inside. If home is a place, two hearts are there together, or if home is a feeling, it is with the other person.

36. what do you think you’d be arrested for?

Ha! What a question! Hmm... For being a smartass? For causing a scene if I had the guts to tell some people to shut up when they yell stupid things at hockey games? I really don’t know.

[mst3kproject]

622: Angels Revenge

I would pay folding money for a half-hour gag reel of all the times Mike swung too hard or in the wrong direction or the wind was wrong and he took off Crow’s head.  It had to happen at least twice.  MST3K was not known for the sturdiness or sophistication of their props and we love them for it.

A fourteen-year-old boy steals some stuff from a drug dealer who looks an awful lot like Ben Murphy.  In revenge, Fake Ben Murphy and Actual Jack Palance beat the shit out of him. This upsets both the kid’s sister, an up-and-coming musician, and his schoolteacher, and they hatch a plot to destroy the drug depot.  They recruit a few friends – a Hollywood stuntwoman, a karate teacher, a model, a cop, and one of the teacher’s students – and steal some ammo from a bunch of neo-Nazis, and then it’s on to beat up the druggies!

I guess the idea behind this movie is fairly sound – a group of women get together to do a job the men aren’t willing to do.  The question of just why the men aren’t willing to do it is an open one.  Do the drug dealers own the police or something?  I dunno.  At the time it came out, Angels Revenge was panned as a ripoff of Charlie’s Angels, which it most unquestionably is, but there’s a reason that was a successful formula: women enjoy movies in which women kick ass, and men enjoy looking at boobs.  In the right hands, it would still have been a ripoff, but it could have been a much better ripoff.  Unfortunately, the grubby hands it got into were those of Greydon Clark.

The opening of this movie is a series of annoying missteps. A group of women we do not know (we’re not even sure how many there are) invade a gas station in the middle of nowhere and start blowing stuff up.  Their names are given in the opening shot but not in a way that makes them memorable. One character apparently dies, the others go on without her, and then she reappears to save the day.  None of this makes much of an impression beyond ‘oh, look, tits’, but we can tell they’re trying to get into the main building.  We get into it just enough that we want to see what’s inside, and then bam. Freeze-frame, narration.

The time for this would have been about five minutes earlier. Seriously, this ‘action opening’, obviously patterned after things like James Bond, goes on for five minutes at least in which we don’t really know what’s happening or who any of these characters are.  If we had just one to focus on that might help, but we’re watching six or seven of them run around doing different things and we don’t even know what their plan is so we can’t tell if it’s going right or wrong.  The whole sequence should have been either massively cut down to just enough to tell us action is happening before it goes into the flashback, or just moved in its entirety to its proper place later in the narrative.

Then when we finally do start meeting the characters, the first one we meet is not the one who began narrating a moment earlier!  It’s the beat-up kid’s sister, the one who so-far looked like she was in charge. Finding out she’s secondary in the whole plot is a bit of whiplash, and as far as I can tell the main purpose of the Vegas sequence (besides showing us her midriff) is to give a cameo to Arthur Godfrey as himself.

From there the rest of the characters are introduced and we finally find out who the hell they all are and what they bring to the table.  April, the teacher, is the mastermind. Michelle, the singer, is the backer. Terry, the stuntwoman, is their engineer.  Keiko, the karate teacher, is the hand-to-hand fighter.  Maria, the model, is a distraction.  Elaine, the cop, is the tactician.  And Trish, the student, is… uh… somebody wanted a kid in this movie. The point is, if you go back and watch the opening sequence after the bit where everybody’s introduced, it’s much more involving and makes infinitely more sense!  They could have had five minutes of action, but they gave us five minutes of boredom just by putting it in the wrong spot!

After some of the movies I’ve see, incidentally, it is a point very much to this movie’s credit that I remember everybody’s names.  Well done, Angels Revenge!

That does not, however, outweigh the many other things the movie does badly.  The actresses are mere eye candy, hired for their looks and not for their talent.  They stand around in ‘sexy’ poses without bras on, and recite their lines like they’re in an eighth-grade play.  Even so, they’re better than the men, who are just as bad at acting but aren’t distractingly nice to look at.  The best actor in the entire movie is Alan Hale Jr and he’s only got about three lines.

Then there are the bits where the movie tries to be funny.  The Neo-Nazis are supposed to be funny, which I’m honestly okay with – Hitler hated being made fun of and so it’s the responsibility of all right-thinking citizens to mock him and his movement whenever possible.  But they aren’t funny, just a bunch of fat clumsy guys with Hitler mustaches.  I don’t know how people who make movies fail to understand that in order to be funny, characters have to do funny things.  Both the Neo-Nazis and other ‘comic’ male characters in the movie are presented simply as ‘lol, men are oafs, right girls?’ without any attempt at an actual punchline.

Another running gag is April, who insists she’s a Very Organized Person, and her over-full purse.  That’s not really funny, but I can’t argue with it.  Two years ago I bought a bag big enough to hold my knitting and I haven’t seen the bottom of it since.  Someday I’ll be rooting around for something, fall in, and end up in Narnia.

The sequence in which they rob the Nazis does provide some action and acts as a trial run to show us the women can work together successfully.  But we already saw that in the out-of-place opening sequence, so it’s not really establishing anything we didn’t already know.  The fact that we’ve also seen what comes after also tells us that they will succeed at this mission with nobody getting hurt (not that these idiots they’re robbing are in any way a threat), and sucks all the suspense out.  Man, the longer I think about it, the more ways in which that opening makes the movie worse!  Whose idea was that anyway?

The characters are stereotypes, boring at best and deeply offensive at worst. The black woman is six feet tall and works on vehicles, because black women are butch!  The Asian girl knows martial arts and uses a katana, because she’s Asian (and although she’s said to be from Vietnam, she has a Japanese name… it’s possible to come up with a backstory for her that incorporates this, but that’s not my job as an audience member)!  The white women are bitches and bimbos, more distinguishable by their hair than by their personalities.  April is presented as ‘the mousy one’ simply by not wearing lipstick on a heist.

I guess by having tough women and weak men, the writers thought they were being feminist, or at least appealing to feminists, but that’s not how feminism works on any level.  Strength and intelligence isn’t pizza – you getting an extra slice doesn’t mean I don’t get one.  Portraying the male antagonists as buffoons is actually deeply misogynistic, because it suggest that women can’t even play unless the men are idiots.  The point of feminism is that women are people just as much as men are, and deserve to be treated as such – by other women, by men, and by screenwriters.

Let me illustrate with an example from the opposite extreme: Elinor and Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility are sisters who each need to get married for the sake of their financial security. That might seem a very sexist premise for a story – and it is, but only because it takes place in a sexist culture. Elinor and Marianne have distinct personalities and different ideas of what makes a happy marriage, and they make decisions as individuals, not simply because they are ‘women’.  Each makes her own mistakes and learns her own life lessons, and the narrative explores what society has taught them to expect out of life versus the less romantic reality.  They are two human beings.  The characters in Angels Revenge, by contrast, are a bunch of pretty props.

It would have been so easy to make something actually enjoyable out of Angels Revenge.  As I noted above, it uses a successful formula and it really could have been a fun little piece of exploitation cinema.  Every decision made along the way, however, seems designed to sabotage it.  It’s badly-written, lifeless, cliched, racist, and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of feminism.  They hired women with no acting experience to play the main characters, and can’t decide which of those characters is our heroine. And of course, they edited it together in the wrong order, confusing and boring us and undermining what should have been important and suspenseful scenes.  This sort of thing just leaves me frustrated and annoyed.  You’re making a movie, people!  Could you not put a little fucking effort in?!

[warriorteam1924]

Music is my savior (Part 17)

Author note : Hello my beauties !!! Part 17 is ready for you !! Again this part might seem a little different but this one was also fun to write really !! As always, I would like to thank all of you for the feedback. I guess there are maybe ghost readers but those of you who leave comments or just put a like, you really really make my day !!! It truly means a lot !! Even if you guys know now my number one is.... yes my sis !!! lol I love you so so much !!

 Summary : Reader had been chosen to be bassist on the Bohemian Rhapsody set. Reader’s journey carries on as she get to actually work on the set with everyone, and she gets more responsibilities. After a little trouble with a colleague, some entertainment with friends, the accomplishment of a special project, reader’s having fun.... But for how long? Feelings are coming reader’s way.... Yet, the adventure continues....

 Word Count :  3,140 words

 Warnings : none.... I just hope my writing gets better and there are not too many mistakes or typos....

 Tagging : @crazyweirdocalledfriday @reavenedges-lies @mercurycrowley

Part 17 : Brighton Rock

When you had agreed to be a bassist player and teacher on the filming of the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, you thought your main tasks were going to play your bass in a small and creepy studio, surrounded by strangers, musicians as well, who would be playing with you some Queen music for a specific scene or the soundtrack. You thought you were going to teach the actor portraying John Deacon how to place his hands properly on a bass guitar and that he would leave you at your place on your own when your job would be done. You were wrong obviously.

 There were many musicians on the set, but you were given the opportunity to work with the two legendary members of Queen : guitarist and astrophysicist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor, who were still incredibly talented. Adam Lambert or Marc Martel performing the vocals was also something you were absolutely delighted to hear, even if their voices were not Freddie’s. More than working with those over talented men, you had been given the opportunity to perform with them. Perform with them live. Perform with them live, twice. And you had even been lucky enough to improvise with them on stage.

 And as if this was not enough to bring happiness in the down-to-earth life that was yours, the actors who were portraying the band or their relatives were now your friends. More than mere friends now for a few of them.

 When you had arrived on the set of the filming, you knew very little about them. You had hoped they would not be to arrogant or self-centered and had hoped they would appreciate your work as a bass guitarist. On this very point again you had no idea those people would be so kind and so lovely.

 Rami was so talented and yet he was always asking for advice, looking at the scene they had just filmed to make sure it was almost perfect. Lucy was so delicate and despite her young age, very mature and always attentive to your well being as a woman on the set. Gwilym was nothing but a pure gentleman, always caring for the others. Ben, who was a gorgeous man, was in fact a very clever and sensitive man. And there was also Joe Mazzello.

 You had feared that the fact of being famous at a very young age would have made him a star with many bad habits. You could not have been more wrong about someone. The thing you liked the most about Joe was his humor. No matter the situation, it was impossible not to smile when he was in the same room. He was also very down to earth, and when a situation was bad, he made his possible to make people realize that after all, it was not this terrible and that the sun would shine again tomorrow after the storm. Even if he was laughing, and eating, most of the time, Joe was also incredibly skilled and professional. When you were looking at him filming scenes, it was sometimes hard for you to remember it was Joe portraying Deaky and that the bassist of Queen was not really facing the camera.  

 You were having lunch with all of them and you were dreamily smiling, chewing without really realizing what you were eating. You sometimes still had to pinch yourself to actually believe you were truly there with them. Having a random conversation, like a very normal group of friends, except all of them were famous.

“Yeah, I think this is a very good idea, I guess it won’t be too crowded at that time of year.”, Rami said.

 “It’s a great opportunity for you non British to visit a little, right bub?”, Ben asked you.

 “Visit what?”, you replied, suddenly coming back to reality and realizing you had paid no attention to what they were saying.

 “Still dreaming about Deaky, hum?”, Joe joked and you answered with a fake furious look.

 “I was saying I needed some sort of sweet escape.”, Gwil repeated, sweetly smiling at you. “So I was wondering if you guys would like to join us with my girlfriend for a tiny trip at Brighton. This is very famous and I thought it would be cool for Rami and Joe to see it. And you of course, Y/N, if you want to join us.”, he concluded.

 “Brighton beach? Oh, that sounds lovely. I’m in for sure”, you agreed.

 “Cool then. We will need two cars then.”, Gwil carried on.

 “I’ve got mine not very far and I can take three passengers, as I will be driving.”, Lucy proposed.

 “We could rent a bigger one?”, Rami suggested.

 “I came here with my car as well, it would be a shame to waste money. If I follow Lucy’s car there, I will be able to drive the two other people who won’t fit in hers.”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “And it’s not good to leave a car there without driving it. It will be good for my lil automobile.”, you concluded.

 “Who is going to be in charge of the kids though?”, Lucy seriously pointed out.

 “The kids?”, Joe asked, frowning a little, surprised by the question.

 “Well, I’m at ease with them, I’ll be in charge so the four of you can have a quiet drive.”, you proposed as you already understood her joke.

 “I might look insistent, but even if I love kids, whose kids are we talking about?”, Joe questioned again, as Lucy and you were now laughing out loud.

 “Mate, they are talking about you and Ben.”, Gwil whispered in Joe’s ear, as tears were coming to your eyes from laughing.

 “Oh.... I see.”, Joe replied as Ben was also laughing. He looked at you and as your laugh was contagious, this conversation ended in a great hilarity amongst your friends.

 ----------------------------------------

 You woke up early that day because going to Brighton was going to be about a three hours drive. You had packed a little bag, even if this was supposed to be just a one day getaway. You opened the door of studio 39 and started in surprise. Joe and Ben were standing there, smiling like two idiots, with toys towels and buckets in their hands. Joe was even wearing a big pink flamingo rubber ring around his hips and above his coat, and he was looking absolutely ridiculous. Yet and not for a single second you regretted your choice of driving to Brighton with the two of them at your side.

 “I’m okay for you to take those but everything goes in the car’s trunk.”, you warned them.

 They looked at each other and screamed “Yay” together and headed to your car as you unlocked it. They put all their stuff in the trunk and Ben said:

 “I’m going in the back of the car so I can take a nap if I’m too tired.”

 “Yeah, and babies are not allowed in the front anyways.”, Joe joked. He headed to the driver’s seat.

 “Oh, you’re driving today? Great!”, you said as you gently threw your car keys at him.

 “What? No.... I’m used to British cars now, my bad....”, he replied as he threw the keys back at you.

 As the two of them got in the car you heard someone honk and you waved at Lucy as you got closer to talk.

 “I’m going to follow you if you don’t mind, I’m quite sure we are going to take the A23 road, but I’ll be more at ease this way.”, you asked her, as she was firmly holding her wheel.

 “Yeah no problem”, she reassured you. “And my passengers will certainly behave so I will follow the nav sat’s indications more easily.”, she added, looking at Rami, Gwilym and his girlfriend.

 “Okay, then, let’s go”, you concluded as you came back to your car.

 You took your seat and fastened your seat belt. “Ready?”, you asked.

 With no surprise and once again the two of them answered : “Ready Freddie !!”, so you started to follow Lucy’s car out of the parking of the filming set.

 It was quite early so the traffic was not very dense and it took you only a few minutes to get used again to drive on this side of the road. Even if there was not music in the car, you rapidly felt very soothed, one hand on your wheel and the other on the gear. Yet, you could tell Joe was definitely not well. He was strangely moving on his seat and was staring at the road with a weird look.

 “Are you okay, mate?”, Ben asked him, as he too had noticed his friend seemed not the feel alright.

 “Yeah, yeah, fine....”, he merely replied.

 You obviously could not look directly at him as you were focused on the road and on following the other car, but it was clear Joe had a problem.

 “Mate, relax, the car is not made of milk, it ain’t going to kill you....”, Ben tried to joke.

 “Ahaha....”, Joe mumbled. “Sorry but the thing is I’m not used to this side of road with a left driven car. I’ve got the feeling we are going to crash in the cars coming on the other side.”, he confessed. Ben could not help but laugh, yet he quickly came back to be serious as his friend was not joking.

 “Joe, look at me.”, you told him. “I can’t look at you back, but I’ve been driving for many years. And this is my car, I know what I’m doing. I’ve signed a contract with the production, I can’t risk an accident with two of the main cast in my car.....”, you also tried to joke to soothe him, but it was not working.

 Hopefully, Lucy stopped because of a traffic light so you put your gear in neutral and put the handbrake on. You turned a little towards Joe and looked at him directly in his hazel eyes.

 “Joe, don’t you trust me?”, you asked him, very seriously.

 He looked at you very intensely and it was one of the very few moment he was watching you very deeply, as if he was staring directly at your soul. After a pause, he relaxed on his seat and eventually said : “I do.”

 “Good.”, you merely answered as you put the car back in movement as Lucy was carrying on her way. “Now, be a sweetie and pick a CD. We can’t go to Brighton without music.”, you asked him.

 He looked in the glove compartment and without surprise all the CDs available were Queen studio albums or concerts. The two actors agreed on some live performances and Joe insisted on the fact that he would definitely be more relaxed if you sang along with them, as you had now had the advice of a vocal coach. As he was right and you could not find any excuse not to sing with them, the rest of the drive to Brighton consisted on the three of you almost screaming in your car. Ben grinned at his friend as Joe noticed and sweetly smiled at the little movements you were making with your fingers on your gear, as if you were playing along on your bass.

  ----------------------------------------

 You arrived at Brighton for lunch and Gwil had picked a restaurant. At that time of year and as they had expected it, the place was not crowded at all and it was really pleasant and enjoyable. Joe, as usual was talking and talking again and you could tell that Gwil’s girlfriend was a bit ill-at-ease, maybe slightly overwhelmed being surrounded by celebrities.

 “Joseph, my dear?”, you gently whispered in his ear as you were seated next to him.

 “Hum?”, he echoed, still chewing his meal.

 “Shut up darling, the lady is quite uncomfy.”, you merely told him.  

 “Oh, okay.", he grimaced a little but sweetly yet awkwardly smiled at her.

 “What’s for the afternoon?”, asked Rami.

 Lucy, who had also noticed Gwil’s girlfriend was not at ease, suggested a relaxing moment at a local spa. You laughed a little when you saw Ben and Joe exchange disappointed glances.

 “Okay, those for the spa, go ahead, I’m going to see the Pier and the fair !”, you stated.

 As a result, the two lovely couples spend the afternoon together enjoying massages and relaxing baths. And obviously, Joe and Ben were going to spend their spare time with you.

 The Pier a very nice place, even if Joe tried to ruin it when comparing its size to Pier 17 in New York City. There was a lot of leaflets and the three of you had to compromise for the activities.

 “Hey look, there’s a naturist beach near....”, Ben pointed out. Joe and you looked at him, deeply surprised by this remark. “Hey, you’re not the only one to make the girls laugh here, I gave it a try....” Ben eventually concluded after a pause.

 You wanted to appreciated the view of the city while the sun was still shining so the three of you first headed to what was called British Airways i360. And you were not disappointed as the view was absolutely stunning. It was different from London Eye as Brighton was a seaside area, but it reminded you of lovely holidays memories : shopping with your two friends and the present exchange with Joe on Christmas morning.

 You then went to Brighton music tunnel and could see the lovely reference to Queen with the sentence “The show must go on” on the wall and what seemed to be a silhouette of guitarist Brian May. Once again, you were glad to see the Band was still very influential and you were sure Freddie would have appreciated this delicate attention.

 Last but not least, you enjoyed the fair and the attractions. Joe and Ben insisted on doing the fastest ones and you went to please them, even if you did not really like those kind of rides. As a result and as a sort of an apologie, the two men took you to the carousel and they tried to make you feel like a Princess, taking three rides in a row. As the night was slowly arriving, the lights around the carousel were very nice and it gave you a reassuring feeling.

  Also, still a little ashamed, they tried their best to win beautiful plushies in random games of skill. You could see the two of them had somehow started a competition and they were trying again and again to win the biggest prices for you. As a result, you ended up with one huge sea lion and a giant shark.  

 At the end of the day, Joe and Ben looked like two kids who just spend their day at the beach : merely exhausted, and you could not help but laugh at the sight of their faces.

 ----------------------------------------

 On your way back, it was a little bit harder to follow Lucy’s car as it was already dark outside. You had put the giant plushies in the trunk and Ben was now sleeping at the back of the car. Joe had put your favorite Queen studio album and you were chatting about the band, as always the actor enjoying listening to you telling some random anecdotes about their music or the industry of Rock and Roll. After a while, it seemed you had been speaking for quite a while without an answer from Joe but he had merely fallen asleep as well. ‘Hopefully I was picked to drive today.”, you thought to yourself.

 Yet, after a while, you noticed the car you were now following were no longer Lucy’s. You tried to remain calm and attempted to unlock your phone thanks to the vocal recognition application, but obviously, the thing was not working. You knew it would definitely not be wise to use your phone while driving, particularly on a highway.

 “Joe, wake up....”, you whispered, still looking at the road, trying to understand the indications on the signs. He did not answer.

 You put your hand on his knee and shook him a little, still calling his name. ‘Gosh, he’s a heavy sleeper or what?’ Still looking in front of you, you tried to reach for his face with your right hand, yet blind from your moves, you eventually were touching all his body but his face.

 “What a strange way to tease a man....”, he eventually said. “Ain’t you supposed to drive?”

 “What? Joseph, no. I need your help I think we’re lost.”, you replied, trying to ignore his remark. You felt he seated properly and took his phone.

 “My battery is flat as a pancake....”, he said after a pause.

 “Flat as a pancake?”, you repeated, unsure of what you had heard.

 “God.... It seems my humor is crappy when I’ve just woken up. Shall I take your phone?”, he asked you.

 “Yeah, it is set in English already.”, you replied.

 “And what is the password?”, he carried on as you saw the light of your mobile brighten the inside of the car.

 “Don’t make a fool of me.... It’s Deaky’s birthday.”, you admitted, blushing slightly.

 “I knew it would be though.... So, here we are.... Well, your sense of orientation is not bad at all, we’re almost there....”, he told you. He carried on guiding you, trying to imitate a robotic voice as he was indicating you the right way back to the filming set. You arrived at studio 39 and send a text to Lucy to tell her you had arrived and she apologized for not noticing you were no longer behind her. You messaged Gwil as well to thank him for this very nice day. Joe woke up Ben, and the latter headed to his studio, only wishing to go to bed.

 Joe helped you bring in studio 39 the souvenirs you had bought and the plushes they had won for you.

 “Do you want a cup of tea?”, you proposed.

 “It’s late, I don’t want to bother you....”, he said as he slowly moved towards the door. You looked at him, surprised of his answer.

 “Joey, you’ve been bothering me for months now, and I’ve enjoyed every single minute of your presence. So if you want a cup of tea, put your bottom on the couch and tell me again you don’t want milk in it.”, you laughed.

 He looked at you with a sweet smile. “One sugar, no milk, please. I’m lactose intolerant you know.”, he eventually said, as he headed to the open space to seat.

 You brought tea and the two of you talked all night long on your sofa. Merely talking and drinking tea. What a wonderful night.

Part 16 : Let me entertain you //  Part 18 : Made in Heaven

[earwaxinggibbous]

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

So 2019 was kind of a weird year, wasn’t it? Not just for like, life, though it was weird in that aspect, but in music.

I can’t tell if 2019 was an incredibly strong year for music or a weak one. This, to me, is a sign that we’re transitioning into a new era of popular music. The youth are once again taking the reigns of the music scene as did the punks of the 70′s and the grunge kids of the 90′s. Meanwhile, the oldheads flounder for relevance in the face of this new adversity. “Nobody could’ve expected this!”, said no-one ever.

There was a lot of great pop this year, which I will get to, but there was also a lot of bad pop. All of it was either by shitty new artists who have no talent or previous hitmakers swimming around in their own piss. Regardless, it was all interesting to look at. You won’t see any “this entry is short because this song is boring” sections. I also won’t have to rant and rave constantly about the reprehensibility of certain artists, though it will come up. So I guess 2019 was a better year to talk about bad music.

Less do dis.

10. Senorita - Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

I can’t explain why I hate Camila Cabello so much. I didn’t even realize I hated her until, like... now.

I thought Havana was okay, and her work with Fifth Harmony was tolerable, but every other single she’s dropped has been fucking excruciating. Bad Things sucked, that one song where she can’t pronounce the word “heroin” properly sucked, and this song sucks.

Much like Selena Gomez above, Camila Cabello is yet another female singer who lacks the ability to display any chemistry with anybody, even her actual real friend Shawn Mendes. As well, like sister Gomez, she fills the chart niche of sexy Latina women for men to drool over. “I love it when you call me senorita” is one of the corniest and stupidest lines ever written. She may as well have said “it gets me hot when you call me Ms. Cabello” because that’s essentially the equivalent. 

There’s nothing sexy about the airy whimpering or the obnoxious “ooh-la-la”s or the way Shawn harmonizes, which implies he also loves it when you call him senorita. Nobody actually bothered to think any part of this song through because nobody ever thinks very hard about writing Camila’s songs. Otherwise Bad Things wouldn’t have accidentally sounded like an abuse anthem when it was supposed to be kinky and sexy. And it’s how creepy lyrics like this got by in Senorita.

If he says you’re just friends then you’re JUST FRIENDS. Did we learn nothing from Ann-Marie and Marshmello last year?

This is just yet another lame, plotless, meandering love/sex song by Camila Cabello who has a good voice, but only ever performs these god-awful sex jams with no sex and no jam. And it’s unfortunate because this is sort of the lot dealt to most Latinx artists. Pop-friendly artists like Camila are divvied up into racial categories without anyone even noticing, and most likely she will only ever write and perform sex jams because that’s what a Latina woman in pop is pushed into. Not that I think she has any problem with it, it’s more indicative of a bigger problem than specifically one with Camila herself.

People have been sexualizing the Latinx community since the dawn of time, and while the new movement of Spanish music might change this, it sure as hell hasn’t started yet.

At least it isn’t seven minutes long like Te Bote.

9. Money in the Grave - Drake and Rick Ross

Drake had 25 hits last year, and only one of them was a song I might say I actually like. I remember I said there’d be no boring songs, but... Drake hasn’t been interesting in a long time. Even when I found out about his secret son, or the fact that he was with a significantly younger woman, I just kinda shrugged and said “oh”. Drake has to be on his way out. How much longer are people going to stand this?

Money in the Grave isn’t as turgid as 2018’s Nonstop, or as audibly inept as the 2017(?)’s Pop Style, but God. At this point, every Drake song sounds the same. The man is incapable of bringing forth any kind of emotions, his beats are pathetic drum loops, nothing he writes has any personality. It’s almost funny how boring his music is.

Rick Ross, if you remember him, was known in his time for writing shouty drug dealer anthems. He yelled a lot, and I was sitting with bated breath waiting for him to fucking 6ix9ine scream over this track, only to be disappointed when he lowered into a calmer register for this tune. Drake even made Rick Ross boring, and Rick Ross is one of the funniest bad rappers I can think of, aside from like, Soulja Boy.

I no longer understand what niche Drake fills. You can’t dance to this, you can’t get high to it, nobody’s gonna think you’re cool if you enjoy it, the lyrics aren’t even passably interesting. It’s the same rap cliches as always, perhaps with a new coat of paint, but said paint is the same color as it already was previously, and makes no change. 

No wonder Drake endorsed Lil Baby. Nobody else can equal his talent at sounding bored.

8. Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

So here’s an unpopular music critic opinion: I don’t like Billie Eilish.

I’ve known of her for a long time, and never once has she drawn my intrigue. I’ve gone all over asking people why they like her, and I’ve heard all sorts of answers. Her voice is good, her lyrics are good, her production is interesting, her subject matter is deep... whatever it actually is, I couldn’t tell you. But in the end, I basically feel the same way about her as I do about Twenty-One Pilots. She’s an artist in an oversaturated micro-genre who, despite being of lower quality than her contemporaries, managed to do something different enough that she rose up in the latter part of the genre’s life. In Billie’s case, it’s the trend of female alt-pop singer-songwriters who write about things like politics, feminism, and ESPECIALLY mental health.

Lorde was the original, but we also have Lana Del Rey, the more pop-friendly Halsey, Marina and the Diamonds, the dreaded Melanie Martinez, to some extent even Alessia Cara, just a whole bunch of them. They all had their own unique personality. Billie Eilish’s personality is that she has none.

Okay, I’m being a little mean. I do think that Billie’s music videos are actually very interesting, but good music videos does not a good musician make. Her voice is more of a phlegmy whisper than people let on, and her lyrics... like, what, what makes them so special? And why didn’t wish you were gay get ANY backlash when it’s basically just a backwards version of Little Big Town’s Girl Crush?

Bad Guy is the worst of her singles without question. Its beat, much like most of her songs, sounds like two people accidentally banged on top of the Cassio and somebody pressed record. Her voice continues to be boring and flat, for some reason she has to whisper everything, and the lyrics are some of the most mind-numbing shit I’ve ever heard. Which moron at corporate told the 17-YEAR-OLD to write a “steal yo man” song where she threatens to seduce my dad? Like, ignoring my own personal history with my dad, you are literally a CHILD.

Generally speaking, the song sounds like someone gargling mouthwash in my ear for a minute or two, but like, very quietly. Which is kind of pathetic for a song called Bad Guy. You sound like a pretty average guy to me.

It’s obvious from the music video that Billie’s main inspiration is grunge, and if that isn’t the case I’ll be surprised. The weird imagery and intentionally dressing like a homeless person to every public thing she does gives off big Nirvana energy. One could argue that Billie Eilish is a good segway into teaching the youthsters about the ghosts of music’s past. There’s just a few problems with that.

One: Bad Guy sounds nothing like a grunge song.

Two: Billie Eilish does not have a grunge voice.

Three: Billie Eilish just... isn’t doing it right.

Billie Eilish’s parents are two wealthy actors and she was basically born with the ability to get into the business easier than other people. I’m not saying that you can’t be a grunge artist if you’re wealthy and have a decent family life, but I am saying that Billie’s music doesn’t convey any kind of grunge appeal. There’s no roughness or rawness to it because she could immediately walk into a producer’s studio with a wad of fifties and ask for a sick beat. Her music displays no emotion, and emotion is the main draw of grunge. Like, Kurt Cobain wasn’t a very good singer, but he knew how to perfectly channel how he was feeling. Grunge music is about feelings, not polish. And Billie Eilish is all polish.

I’m not gonna get all angry because grunge is being gentrified by a tiny girl when it was originally started by broke heroin addicts and lesbians, but I am gonna get angry because her music sounds worse than albums made on a budget of 600 dollars by a guy who has had one voice lesson his whole life.

She should just go into modern art.

7. Worth It - YK Osiris

Originally I was gonna give this spot to a different song. Worth It was so immediately bad that it rescued Lil Baby from my list this year.

Don’t expect to be this lucky next year, bitch.

But we’re not talking about that squealing douchebag, we’re talking about THIS squealing douchebag:

YK Osiris. I have no idea where he came from, I think he was part of last year’s XXL Freshman Class? He’s more of a singer than a rapper, so I’m not sure why he was, other than the predetermined idea that all black artists in pop are rappers. I wouldn’t even call him a singer, because the man cannot sing.

At the beginning of the music video, you see dozens of paparazzi swarming around YK Osiris’ car as he exits with a girl. This is the set-up for the song’s impressive amount of self-fellating narcissism, as YK Osiris assumes he has fans. Who the fuck listens to YK Osiris? I mean, clearly someone, because he charted, but like... what does a YK Osiris fan look like? Do women actually like hearing him wheeze into their ear? Like BEES?

NO MORE BEES!

Hearing this fucking chicken nugget talk about whether or not I’m worth eet is the lamest thing. Why does she have to be worth it? Are YOU worth HER time? Who the fuck are you? The attitude is very, I guess, mid-70′s Paul Anka-esque. And now I’ve made you imagine a YK Osiris cover of You’re Having My Baby. I also remember Todd in the Shadows compared this song to Earned It by The Weeknd, but I dunno if I get that vibe.

I mean, Earned It is a song about like... BDSM sex, presumably. So that’s more of an “if you’re good master will make you squart” kind of thing. This is more some sentient dildo insisting that you prove his worth to him before you’re even DATING. That’s a red flag on the same level as meeting a guy who lives alone and still puts a lock on his fridge. Like, what’s in there? What’s in the fridge? Is it human meat?

The guitar solo in this song is the only thing about it that’s... worth it. ZING!

6. ZEZE - Kodak Black ft.Travis Scott and Offset

ZEZE is a bad song. Plain and simple. It’s the essence of bad.

It feels like... it wasn’t even finished. Like everyone involved came in the next day to finish tweaking it only to find out that it was already sent out to be published and sold. I feel like there are things missing. Like yeah, the steel drums are nice, but where’s the rest of the instrumentation? There’s a drum and a steel drum and then nothing. Why does this song feel so naked?

Kodak Black sure doesn’t help, still sounding like he’s half-man half-screaming rubber chicken and mumbling like an actual infant still figuring out the whole “talking” deal. It’s not like Travis Scott or Offset add anything. I can’t remember what they did. ZEZE sounds the way I imagine taking ketamine and cocaine would feel. This song is so amateurish, I almost have good will for it.

If this was made by, say, a couple of high school kids dinking around with a Garageband, I might find it a little cute. The problem is that this song was made by several Whole Ass Adult People who have enough money to not make shit that sounds like ZEZE. It’s cute until you remember that Travis Scott produced big sexy SICKO MODE and yet somehow his presence couldn’t make ZEZE sound like it was made on a higher budget than 20 bucks. Someone even put an echo on Kodak’s voice, like that’d make him ANY BETTER.

It doesn’t help that I have continuing ill will towards Kodak Black because he’s a sex offender and nobody seems all too pressed about it. (Some rappers even congratulate him for having a rough past, like yeah, I guess some of those serial killers really did deserve better, huh?) I won’t be satisfied until he’s wearing orange pajamas on an island far away, and until then my feelings stand.

As it is, ZEZE is a song so chintzy-sounding and lame that I can’t imagine who would enjoy it. This song has the same energy as one of those hula girls you put on the dashboard of your car: Cheap and ugly.

5. The Git Up - Blanco Brown

Whenever something new is created, there’s always a leech.

I probably don’t need to tell you about the monstrous year Old Town Road had on the pop charts. For weeks and weeks, Lil Nas X was blocking people from his throne at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, bumping off new faces like Billie Eilish and oldheads like Taylor Swift. Old Town Road knew no mercy. This is the year that a gay black kid singing about horses ruled the world.

And Blanco Brown wanted a piece.

Blanco Brown is one of those artists who started out producing and writing for other hitmakers. He worked on some song by 2Chainz, a couple by some woman named Demetria McKinney, he produced that accursed MILF song by Fergie, a lot of relatively famous people. But he looked at Old Town Road and realized that he, being a black man from the lovely state of Georgia, could also do that.

He could not do that.

The Git Up is a husk of a song, only validated by the fact that it achieved what it was aiming for: TikTok memes. It’s as shameless as Watch Me, but doesn’t even have the small sense of excitement Silento gives off. Blanco Brown’s The Git Up and the “challenge” that it’s attached to are pathetic. The only reason Blanco isn’t too ashamed to go outside after writing this is because he knows plenty of people have fallen into his trap, and that they’re bigger fools than he is.

I started off hating Old Town Road, but over time I’ve sort of come to love it. There’s innocence in it. Lil Nas X didn’t mean for it to be a number one hit, it just happened. A lot of artists were trying too hard this past year, and I suspect it’s why Old Town Road made the pop charts its bitch. It didn’t have to try.

A lot of people will point at rock bands for being “fake”. If they draw inspiration from grunge or punk, and they don’t have the proper edge, many will point and laugh. But just because something is fun and hip doesn’t mean it’s easier to make. In fact, I feel it’s a lot easier to tell if someone’s making a shitty pop song for any reason other than themselves. A lot of people thought Lil Peep was faking, and he really, really wasn’t. There’s grey area in topics like depression, but Blanco Brown (and anyone like him) is as transparent as a window. I see through his mock-excitement, his cute little dance challenge, his “innocent” song. We all do.

I believe Tyler Durden put it best:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

4. I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran ft. Justin Bieber

Speaking of being fake...

I don’t know if Ed Sheeran realizes how embarrassing this song is. More than any other song he’s been involved in. More than Shape Of You, or that one song on Revival, more than anything. I Don’t Care is an exercise in humiliation.

Generally speaking, I don’t like Ed Sheeran’s music. I think he’s had a couple good songs, we all like Sing and Castle on the Hill, it’s not like he’s untalented. But every time he’s gotten a big hit these past few years it’s been so shitty or mediocre that I wanted to scream. I’m not sure why, but all of his fans seem to flock towards his worst songs. And of all of them, I hate I Don’t Care the most.

Usually the problems with Ed Sheeran’s music just revolve around his meek, tiny personality and his weird style of lyricism. The level of detail he gets into can be both an asset and a detriment. I remember I basically described Shape Of You as a virgin anthem, because Ed Sheeran exudes dorkiness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it comes to nerd music I’d rather take Thomas Dolby, but he definitely had a style.

I Don’t Care is Ed’s Intuition.

As in, the Jewel song. The blown-up pop song released by Jewel, a previously sincere folk singer who played acoustic guitar and sang about break-ups and The Media(TM) and stuff like that. Ed Sheeran is a lot like Jewel, if you think about it. Both of them are skilled lyricists who play acoustic guitar and sing about personal topics, and both of them suddenly decided to throw that away and make a sell-out pop hit. If this kills Ed’s career, they’ll have had basically the same musical trajectory.

Ed Sheeran opens the song by saying he’s at a party he doesn’t wanna be at, and that’s how the song feels. You, the listener, are at a party you don’t wanna be at. What good did adding Justin Bieber to this song do? Oh, right, that’s what made it a hit. I Don’t Care goes far beyond Blanco Brown’s brand of shamelessness. Blanco Brown specifically wanted a dance challenge hit. Ed Sheeran just wanted a hit. Any hit will do. He brought in guaranteed hitmaker Justin Bieber, tossed out his acoustic guitar for fully electronic production, and sang about something vague and already done. And the worst part is that it WORKED.

I imagine this was almost entirely through radio play, because this song is so radio-friendly and milktoast it’s unreal. With a stupid music video greenscreening Ed’s face onto shit and “ooh ooh”s and all, this song exists to pander. It wasn’t created for humans, rather, it was created for the pop music algorithm that’ll shove it into people’s laps without them asking. There’s no artistic integrity, nothing worth thinking about for longer than its runtime. It made it to the Hot 100 because it can be played in grocery stores and clothing stores and really any kind of store. Ed Sheeran is a God of nothing, and I can’t imagine he’s proud.

3. No Guidance - Chris Brown ft. Drake

This song is bad on every possible level. Starting off with the fact that it’s nine minutes long. It out-lengths last year’s overly long garbage fire that was Te Bote. 

And then you look at the credits and know exactly who’s to blame for all this:

I don’t know if Lil Dicky anticipated giving Chris Brown’s career a second wind with Freaky Friday, but I think that’s what he did. I defended Lil Dicky last year, and I’m still not clear on how much he actually wanted to work with Chris Brown since that’s not really the kind of thing famous people are honest about, but this wasn’t Lil Dicky’s hit. This was a springboard to launch Chris Brown back into the limelight. Earth didn’t even chart. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the last gasp of Lil Dicky’s career in the spotlight.

But I’d take Freaky Friday over No Guidance any day.

No Guidance is the formal beef-squash between Chris Brown and Drake. Apparently they both dated Rihanna at some point and allegedly had an actual literal bar fight. Despite Drake claiming he still loves Rihanna, he’s also choosing to publicly make up with and work with the man who got her hospitalized at 19 years old. Then again, Rihanna also wants nothing to do with Drake.

(source)

Over time, Drake has proven himself to be his own flavor of scumbag, a weirdo who dates younger women and pretended not to have a son. Perhaps this is his way of getting back at Rihanna. Or he’s simply using Chris Brown’s new power to bolster his own career. Regardless of why it is, it’s gross, especially when he’s dropping bars like this:

Someone else here is looking a little violent, no?

On pure quality, it sounds like every other Chris Brown song, just with Drake tossed into the mix haphazardly. It’s a lame song about hitting on some girl where both artists drop references to their old songs because that’s the easiest way for a failing artist to feign relevance. Assuming nobody features Chris Brown on another massive hit next year, there’s a fair chance he’s done for, and after years of oversaturation, the public finally tires of Drake. No Guidance is a nothing song with scummy shit going on behind the scenes.

RIP Lil Dicky.

2. 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

I never really understood the hype around Ariana Grande. She has a few songs that I enjoy, and her voice is very good, but nothing by her really stands out to me as an amazing song. Ariana stans are relentless. When I posted my review of the thank u, next album some complete stranger replied to it with “Uhhh ok sis”. Like barring the fact that I’m not a girl and we’re not related... it’s an opinion, calm yourself.

Frankly I don’t know how people enjoyed this song. Her stans are insane, but surely not that insane, right? I mean... this isn’t a song. It’s a MISTAKE.

Between Gwen Stefani and Ariana Grande, sampling The Sound Of Music for your pop song is a dangerous game. And really, she should’ve sampled like, anything else. Because nothing says “wealthy, savage girl” like a cute song about your favorite things, I guess!

I’ve never felt quite so immediately gross and uncomfortable as I did when listening to 7 Rings. I have no problem with women flexing, of course I don’t, but this isn’t flexing, it’s mocking. 7 Rings makes me feel like I’m being bullied.

Ari had a horrible 2018, and she’s more than allowed to flex a little, but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to essentially play the villain of a high school movie. She’s not Cher Horowitz or Regina George, because then at least she’d be entertainingly bitchy. I judge a flex anthem based on how much I get excited for the person being wealthy and cool. This song makes me want to commit a robbery.

The lyrical content isn’t the only bad element. It also sounds like shit! 

Ariana Grande is a belter. Everyone knows she’s here to sing and not... rap. Which is exactly what she does on this song. The filters she puts over her voice during the rapping sections are just... gross. When she drags out certain words it hurts my ears. That and apparently multiple people have accused her of stealing their flows, though that’s really hard to say since it’s an incredibly generic rap flow. Also, she samples Gimme The Loot by Biggie Smalls, a song about robbing people. Which makes sense because if you bought Ariana’s album, you were robbed! Congrats!

But in the end, the most damning thing about this song is its lyrics. Why should I be excited about this absolute bitch having tons of money? Why should I care when she has the gall to say shit like this?

There were ten writers on this song and nobody thought of saying “hey, maybe the phrase ‘happiness is the same price as red-bottoms’ is a little fucking shallow!” 

And I’m not making any judgments on Ariana’s character in real life. I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, but if this song was supposed to project some sense of camaraderie and a “we did it!” attitude, it fails. What it does project is a snide, rich girl looking down on you for not just buying yourself out of depression. Never write a song like this again.

Honorable Mentions

Happier - Marshmello and Bastille

I’m not gonna be the first to say every Marshmello beat sounds exactly the same, but every Marshmello beat sounds the same. I picked this one because it charted highest, but really it makes no difference which Marshmello song I pick on.

Sweet But Psycho - Ava Max

This song reads like a 12-year-old’s deviantART journal.

Drip Too Hard - Lil Baby and Gunna

Like I said, this song almost got on the list proper. It’s a slow burn. At first you feel like the beat is solid, and Lil Baby rides it decently enough, but then it keeps going and the flows never switch and Gunna basically sounds the same as Lil Baby and you begin feeling like you’re losing your mind.

Thotiana - Blueface

People kept memeing about this. I thought it’d be fun. I hate you guys.

God’s Country - Blake Shelton

Namedropping The Devil Went Down To Georgia does not make you Primus. Because you are not creative or interesting.

Trampoline - Shaed

I wouldn’t have even given this song a second thought except apparently it’s hit the alt-rock charts? Where is this rock? Like I get we’re pushing the boundaries of genre but I think the bare minimum of a rock song would be a GUITAR.

Knockin’ Boots - Luke Bryan

This song is dumb. But I’m oddly amused by how dumb it is, so it may live.

Baby - Lil Baby and DaBaby

Sometimes things sound like a good idea, and then they’re not. This didn’t even sound like a good idea and it proved to be an even worse idea. Something definitely could’ve been done with this, but Lil Baby is essentially a creative void that consumes all it sees.

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

Another song that’s too dumb for me to really get mad at. God knows, Capaldi is putting a hell of a lot of effort into something. What it is, I’m not sure, but he’s doing his best.

With those out of the way, we move onto

Number One:

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

"I AM LAID LOW BY THE HUMAN RACE. ME, AN INNOCENT WOMAN, MUST DEAL WITH ‘HATERS’ EVERY SINGLE DAY. MY HEART HAS BECOME WEAK WITH ALL OF THE UNKIND WORDS. DARE I SAY... I AM OPPRESSED?”

It’s ironic hearing Taylor Swift tell me to calm down. She hasn’t been calm for a long time. She sure as hell isn’t calm in this song. It’s basically the equivalent of someone screaming “I AM NOT ANGRY!”

Like, you’re... still mad about the snake thing? It’s been a few years now and you’re still bothered enough by an emoji that you referenced it in a song about how not-bothered you are? I mean, apparently this song (as well as ME!) is about celebrating individuality. It definitely is celebrating an individual: Taylor Swift.

I think a big theme of this year was “embarrassing”. The Git Up was embarrassing, I Don’t Care was embarrassing, but none of them are more embarrassing than this. You could probably do a list of the ten worst Taylor Swift lyrics and it’d be mostly this song. And if the lyrics aren’t terrible enough, it also blatantly copies the beat from Sunflower, the second-biggest hit of the year and a personal favorite. Like, a fellow critic remixed them together and the backing track is essentially unchanged.

And then we get to the gay stuff.

I’m not the first to point out that the underlying message of this song is pathetic at best and offensive at worst: “I have haters, and gays have haters, so we’re basically the same.” This is essentially Taylor Swift hoping she’ll get an invite to judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

There’s just kind of an eensy weensy problem.

Gay “haters” are like... ACTUALLY DANGEROUS.

They’re not just the goofy, protest-sign waving boomers she depicts in her music video. An internet comment is harmless. Homophobia isn’t. Homophobia leads to suicide, gets teens kicked out of their homes, causes hate crimes, it can cause incredibly serious harm. Someone sending you a fucking snake emoji isn’t the same as years and years of systematic oppression!

Does Taylor Swift have to worry about her safety when she tours in more conservative areas? Does she have to fear the possibility of losing friends and family ties when opening up about herself? Does she have to worry about letting the public see who she dates, beyond the usual celebrity drama? Do people shout slurs at her on the street? Do churches and politicians campaign against her right to marry?

Of course not.

Taylor Swift has always made everything about herself. She’s lied and been petty for years and years in her music. Imagine lying about KANYE. You don’t need to lie about fucking Kanye to make him look bad! He does it himself! She was the victim that time, and every time. But at no point until now did she stoop low enough to openly compare herself to oppressed groups because people are mean to her on the internet.

Like this isn’t even about articles or tabloids or anything, it’s about people being nasty online. The phrase “shade never made anybody less gay” is basically a crackhead way of diminishing our suffering. It’s not “shade” we’re worried about, Taylor, it’s having our fucking legal rights taken away. Your biggest worry is “haters”. Haters aren’t going to ban you from being married.

This song is phony, it’s a rip-off of a much better song that literally came out in the same year, it’s repetitive, it’s petty, and most of all, it tries to diminish the oppression of the LGBT+ community by boiling down all of our pain and suffering to simple “shade”.

I will not calm down.

Woo-ee. That was something alright. We’ll be moving onto the best list soon, if I don’t get caught up in my other quarantine activities.

[jasiper]

my experience at tlt musical

hi friends! as you guys may know, last night i had the chance to go to the lightning thief musical and it was so much fun! since i need to babble about how amazing it was and all my favorite parts, i decided tumblr is the way to go :’) under the cut because i have no clue how long it’ll be, but as it’s 1:30am and i am pretty tired, i’ll try to make sure this actually makes sense

mrs. dodds saying “kronos” every two seconds when chiron was trying to tell the story of the gods was so funny

PERCY PULLING OUT RIPTIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME WAS HONESTLY GOD TIER. CHRIS’S REACTION IS 100% HOW I ENVISION PERCY REACTING

percy talking about the field trip and casually slipping in the fact he got expelled between talking about art... then sally saying “i know. the headmaster called.” followed by percy’s “...about the art?” SO CUTE

percy spraying febreze when gabe enters was the funniest thing in the entire world, i actually cackled

SALLY STANDING UP FOR PERCY TO GABE BY SAYING HE ISN’T GABE’S KID! POP OFF SALLY

chris shoved his face full of marshmallows during strong and was still singing with a marshmallow wedged in his cheek. he is so cute

strong also made me emo as hell, just saying!

grover shows up stuck in a garbage can which was so funny

percy waking up from his dream immediately to be told by annabeth “you drool in your sleep”. those kids own me

everything about mr. d was so great. jorrel honestly killed it!

“i need a drink” me too mr. d, me too

WHEN RYAN GALLOPPED WITH JUST A TAIL I LOST IT. I KNEW IT HAPPENED. I STILL COULD NOT STOP FROM LAUGHING. IT WAS SO FUNNY.

“you’re my dream girl!” “are you sure he doesn’t have a concussion?” GOD CHRIS AND KRISTIN HONESTLY JUST KILLED THE PERCABETH DYNAMIC. YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA. I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS HOW AMAZING THEY PORTRAYED THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARACTERS. SO WHOLESOME.

PERCY MAKING LIGHT SABER NOISES WHEN HE MOVES RIPTIDE AND ANNABETH TELLING HIM IT’S NOT A LIGHT SABER GOT ME

okay but chris was so amazing when percy found out sally was gone. his voice kept breaking and it was so emotional. my angsty son.

PERCY AND GROVER’S HUG WHEN THEY SEE EACH OTHER AFTER PERCY WAKES UP! SO CUTE! SO PURE!

the capture the flag scene... so good. the whole song, everything. sarah beth kills it at clarisse.

i’m probably so biased because i love the song, but the campfire song was so good. grover popping up and yelling “my turn! my turn! IT’S MY TURN!” then he cried and annabeth, silena, and katie all tried to comfort him, but the second the chorus came back he was dancing again! so cute!

the dancing in the campfire song just gets me too!

percy finding out his dad is poseidon and getting all excited until everyone else moves away from him :((

mr. d said and i quote “the master bolt! it’s not a jagged tin foil thing you find in a traveling musical!” which was so funny, i love when actors break the fourth wall

the oracle was such a cool scene! i love how they did it!

okay good kid is when i cried a decent bit. chris portrays so much emotion in this song. i was so moved but his singing, his facial expressions, everything. i knew it was going to emotional but i didn’t truly grasp the magnitude until i was there! (also because mari asked, percy did not say fuck. #LetPercySayFuck2019)

killer quest was such a fun song! the original trio getting excited about leaving! so cute!

okay during intermission we got the announcement that kristin was being replaced with sarah beth because kristin blew her voice out during act 1, but she finished the act before pulling out which i think is so cool! i was pretty disappointed but kristin obviously knows her limits and her health comes before anything else.

lost! was so good. i love that song so much and it was the first time sarah beth sang as annabeth and it was good!

grover messing around with uncle ferdinand’s statue (rip)

sarah beth did amazing in my grand plan. her vocals are killer!

drive was also a super fun song, james finally came out as ares and it was awesome!

tree on the hill was another song that made me teary. jorrel was amazing and poured everything into the song. so good.

DOA man! holy crap! jalynn is crazy talented! her vocals! such a good song!

the trio almost getting pulled into tartarus: “i think that’s tartarus.” “like the fish sauce?” “NO. tartar-us.”

HADES. SO GOOD. SO FUNNY. “poseidon’s too busy to come visit his brother” as he cries was GOD TIER. i did not expect hades to be that funny but hey! it was hilarious!

the son of poseidon was also amazing, i love that song so much. “it’s a seashell!”

poseidon acting like a stereotypical surfer dude... so funny. “i wish you weren’t born.” “wow, really?”

poseidon flirting with sally, percy getting very uncomfortable and saying “yeah..... that’s my dad”

i could write an entire essay on the last day of summer. an entire essay. luke’s reprise always gets me, but seeing james perform it live. chills. actual chills. james is so crazy talented everyone, hype him tf up.

OKAY. THE PERCABETH SCENE. i wasn’t sure how it was going to be (i was so looking forward to kristin and chris) but sarah beth and chris killed it! THEIR NOSES BRUSHED, PEOPLE. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KISS. 100%. ANNABETH CUPPED PERCY’S CHEEKS IN HER HANDS AND THEIR. NOSES. BRUSHED.

THEIR. NOSES. BRUSHED.

“seaweed brain...” “wise... girl?” wow i was in tears

bring on the monsters had me in tears again! it was such a great end to the musical, friends. words cannot even describe how fitting the end was.

and then, of course i stage doored.

i told james he was the perfect luke and he told me that compliment makes him so happy :’) such a sweet dude

wow this is blurry BUT sarah beth told me that she loves signing books! i was the only one back there who had the book instead of the program so i felt really stoked to be the only one to bring my copy of the lightning thief

ryan was wearing a medusa shirt and i complimented it and he was so excited i noticed. he also told me he has a centaur shirt lmaooo

and finally jorrel. he is so sweet! my hands were shaking when he got to me and i apologized and he was like “oh my god no! you’re fine! you’re fine!” he is the actual sweetest. i then asked him who runs the twitter account and he said they won’t tell him. i told him how they roasted me on my birthday so i thought it was him so he was like “they roast me all the time! i wouldn’t do that to myself!” and i pointed out he was in the show so he deserved it instead of me but he was like “they do it all the time though!” jorrel stayed out the longest with us and kept hugging everyone and ugh! i love him!

now my book is all signed up and i absolutely love it :’)

so, to sum up a very long post, if you have the opportunity to see the musical, please do. the musicians and cast pour their entire heart into it and it was so evident through this performance. it made me so happy. words cannot describe how i felt while watching it and how i feel now! my heart is actually soaring. i cannot articulate how amazing it was to be immersed in the show and to be surrounded by other fans. this was what we deserved from the movies! just... if you have the means/resources to watch it, do it. no hesitation. i highly recommend going to see it, friends.

[natasha-cole]

Focus

Pairing: Rob x Reader x Chris

Word Count: 3,069

Chapter(s): 8/?

Warnings: Flirting, Chris being just a bot of a jerk

A/N: Chapter 8 of my collaboration with @wilde-abandon

When you returned to the photo op room, you didn’t even have a moment to mention the woman that you had met to Chris. He was already awaiting the line of fans outside of the room as he motioned toward a handler with a silent nod.

“Can you escort her to the green room? She’s meeting the band.”

“Oh, is that now?” You asked, feeling the anxiety grow now that you realized you were really doing this. You were being trusted to do a big shoot with a band that you loved, and the fact that you and Rob had definitely been a bit flirty with each other didn’t help to ease those anxieties.

Chris only nodded to you and gave you a sly smile, the handler jumping right into action and motioning to you to follow her.

You quickly gathered your equipment and followed her out of the room, taking just a moment to glance back at Chris nervously. His eyes met yours briefly and you caught just a hint of something that looked like concern. His usual smile that he reserved for you had faded, but you couldn’t dwell on it too much as you rushed off to meet the band.

***

They were waiting for you in the green room when you walked in, each of them looking up at you as you entered the room. You smiled at them as they stood up in unison, ready to follow you for the shoot.

Reminding yourself that you had a short period of time to do this, you decided not to make small talk or even hesitate, even if you maybe wanted to talk to Rob more.

“You ready?” You asked as you motioned for them to follow you this time.

There were collective agreements and they stayed just behind you as you headed out. You had the perfect spot in mind, and you only hoped that this would go well.

“So, where are we doing this?” Billy asked.

“Um, I figured the pavilion would be good,” you answered as you began to lead the way. “It’s nice out today and natural lighting is my favorite. Plus, the backgrounds are less distracting.”

You kept a brisk pace as you headed down one of the long hallways, knowing that your walk was also counted in the time limit. Rob kept right up with you, glancing over to smile as you noticed him by your side.

***

Once outside, you directed the guys on where to stand and gave them some ideas on posing. Mostly, you allowed them to be as natural as possible as you began to press away at the shutter button.

Your nervousness had eased up and you went right into photographer mode. Hidden behind the viewfinder, it was almost as if you were hidden from them right now; and hidden from Rob’s obvious stare that never left you.

You shot rapidly and asked them to follow you to a new location. It was more of the same. You worked even more proficiently now and the fact that the guys were very laid back and natural in front of the camera, made everything a lot easier. You didn’t have to tell them where to stand or how to pose anymore. They just did their thing and you did your best to capture it.

“I think I have time to get a few individual shots in,” you said as you dug through your bag to reclaim a new lens.

You looked up as Rob, Billy, and Stephen stepped aside; allowing Mike to go first. Again, they knew what they were doing and how to make this shoot work for you as well.

You took a lot of shots of each of them, ending on Rob who apparently had wanted to save himself for last.

Before you could get right into it, he addressed the other guys.

“I think she’s done with all of us,” he said, glancing at you as if to ask if the rest of the guys were done. “You don’t have to hang out.”

“No, yeah,” you muttered. “You’re done. I’m just gonna finish up with Rob and we’re good.”

The other three thanked you and headed back inside, leaving you and Rob alone. Your nervousness reappeared the moment he turned back to you and smiled.

“This is gonna take, like a minute,” you said. “You could’ve all left together.”

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have had a moment alone with you,” he grinned.

He stood there in place, already looking as if he were ready for the camera; so you started shooting away.

He was casual and his eyes still didn’t leave you as you moved around, trying to get new angles.

“You know,” he began. “You’re really good at this.”

“I learned a lot from the best,” you replied as you kept your face hidden behind the camera, taking way more shots of Rob than you had the other guys. Perhaps for selfish purposes.

“Chris… right,” he said. “So… about that… what’s going on between you two?”

You stopped taking photos just then, sort of thrown off at his blunt question. You pulled the camera down from your face and looked at him quizzically.

“I mean… I guess it’s not my business,” he stammered, blushing as he realized that he was maybe getting too personal.

“No,” you said firmly. “It’s not your business. But, he and I are friends. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he replied. “I just- you seem close. He seems really… protective of you? I just sort of thought that maybe I was missing something.”

“I think I’m done,” you announced as you began to pack your camera up. His question had certainly put a damper on your moment, but you also realized that you were probably getting carried away on taking photos of him.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said quickly as he approached you. “It’s just- we’re having drinks together tonight and I really don’t want to step on toes if…”

“Chris and I are just friends,” you said again. “I wouldn’t have agreed to going out with you if he and I were seeing each other. I assume that’s what you’re really asking.”

“Good,” he breathed out.

His face lit up again as he smiled at you.

Once you had your stuff packed, you started to walk, leading the way back into the convention center.

“Did Chris say something to you?” You asked as you stepped into the air conditioned hallway and out of the heat.

You were now a little worried that maybe Chris had mentioned that kiss from last night. You didn’t know why he would really. Not when it went unexplained and unexpected. He especially wouldn’t mention it to Rob of all people. Would he?

“Not really. I mean, he said the same thing you just said. You’re friends. He just…” He trailed off, face scrunched up in contemplation as he chose his words carefully.

“What did he say?”

“He just seems really kinda… against you maybe going out with other people.”

“Do you and Chris talk about me?”

You hid your concern behind a playful smile. Again, you were almost certain that that kiss last night had meant something to Chris. Even if he didn’t bring it up afterwards, you had definitely noted the change in his behavior towards you. He was unusually flirty and close to you all the time is seemed, and no one just kisses a friend at the end of a dinner unless they’re hinting at something.

You were trying not to think too much about it, because more than anything, you disliked not having answers to why he did it in the first place. You hated that the two of you were going about your day as if it hadn’t even happened.

Even more, you were now really concerned that he might have mentioned it to Rob after he had asked you out.

“No. We don’t talk about you. Not really. He did tell me that you weren’t interested in dating actors or musicians though.”

“Why would he tell you that?” You asked.

Now, you had made it to your destination and the two of you stepped into the green room that was scarcely occupied with a couple of the other actors. Rob glanced around quickly before answering you.

“I was hoping you could tell me why.”

“I don’t think he knows me well enough to talk to other people about my ‘type’. I’m sorry he said that to you.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m getting my date, right?” He grinned proudly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled in return. “And I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Me too. Look, I gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yes,” you replied. “I can’t wait.”

***

Just as Rob got quickly back to work, so did you. You steeled yourself before heading back to the green room, sort of annoyed that Chris had talked about you at all to someone else. You were good friends, yes; but this friendship had been built over a computer screen and text messages. He hardly knew you well enough to have an opinion on your taste in men.

You didn’t want to outright confront him about his comments to Rob. For all you knew, he really was just being a friend and maybe he knew something you didn’t. He was a close, personal friend of Rob’s and had been for years. These two knew each other far better than you knew Rob or even Chris.

You decided to let it slide, at least for today. You really didn’t want to know if Chris knew that Rob was possibly a jerk or something, and you really wanted to go out with Rob at least once so that you could decide on your own if he was worth seeing.

You had moved right into helping Chris with a round of fans for photo ops with Kim and Briana. You were a little less tense through this session; laughing and having a great time simply because the ladies were so energetic and friendly.

Chris’ playlist blasted through the speaker, and even though you had thought that the intensity of him music was sort of anxiety-inducing at first, you were getting used to it. It not only helped to keep the talent going, but it also seemed to ease the nervous fans who waited their turns.

Through the next few rounds of ops, Chris hadn’t said two words to you. You just stood there quietly, handing him the things that he motioned for and occasionally taking the camera from him to take a photo when fans insisted that he join them.

As the day wound down, you were eager to get out of there and back to your room to get ready for drinks with Rob. You had definitely been looking forward to it all day, so you asked Chris if it was okay for you to cut out a bit early.

“You still need me?” You asked as he was already packing up some of his gear.

“I think we’re good,” he responded.

He didn’t look at you as he spoke, just seemed overly into whatever it was that he was currently doing.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, fine,” he mumbled in return.

“Are you okay?” You asked, not convinced that he was.

“I’m fine. Just go. I know you have… plans or whatever.”

He waved you off, still not bothering to even look at you.

All of the touching, winking, and flirty grins he had been giving you so far seemed like they had worn out now. Now, he was just making you feel as if he didn’t really care if you were here or not.

“Why are you being such a jerk?”

The words came before you had a chance to really think about them. It wasn’t that you thought he was purposefully being a jerk and you were probably reading too much into it. But, his behavior toward you seemed to change after you talked to or even spent a little time with Rob.

You still had that kiss on your mind, and although you had convinced yourself that it hadn’t really meant anything, you wondered if maybe you were wrong about that. Could he be jealous of Rob?

“I’m not,” he argued. “I’m just- you know it’s probably a bad idea to get too involved with the talent, right?”

There it was. This was definitely about Rob for some reason.

“We’re going out for drinks.”

“Yeah, a date.”

“Something like that…”

“Just- be careful.”

“Do you have a problem with me going out with Rob?”

“No,” he said sharply, pulling back as if the idea of it was ridiculous. “You can do whatever you want. I just- know how he is.”

“I’m not listening,” you laughed. “He’s a nice guy. I’m having drinks with him. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything.”

“I’m not even saying anything rude, Y/N.”

“Is he really a bad guy?” You asked, not sure if you really wanted the answer.

Rob easily came across as a good, decent man and the last thing you wanted was for this image that you had in your mind of him to be shattered.

“He’s not a bad guy,” Chris responded quietly. “He’s one of the best guys I know.”

“Then what’s the issue here?”

“There is no issue,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. You can do what you want. Have fun.”

“I don’t like the way you’re acting right now. I don’t know what’s going on or if you know something that I don’t… but I don’t like this.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe I’ve just been thinking about last night and I’m a little thrown off that you’re going out with him after that.”

“Chris,” you sighed in frustration. “You kissed me and then walked away. You never said a thing about it.”

“It wasn’t planned. It just happened.”

“Do we need to talk about it? Because I don’t know what that was, and maybe I’d like some answers.”

“We probably should,” he agreed. “But don’t you have a date to get to?”

You huffed out in response, annoyed that he was acting like this. Maybe this would be a very different situation had he said something to you sooner. Right now, you felt that he was being unfair. Mostly, you hated when men just expected you to know something.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to talk about it, but he was right. You did have a date to get ready for. And you weren’t about to pass up spending time with Rob.

“You’re right,” you replied as you grabbed your bag and prepared yourself to leave. “I do have a date. I have a date with a really nice guy who actually had the balls to ask me out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You headed for the door, noting the look of surprise on Chris’ face at your comment. It felt good to know that you could call him out for his behavior. Then, you recalled something from earlier, and since you were feeling a bit frisky, you stopped short and turned back to him.

“Oh,” you added. “I forgot to tell you, but I ran into someone earlier who said they knew you.”

“Who?”

“I didn’t catch her name, but she said you and her were really good friends. In fact, she described it as a special relationship.”

“Hmm,” he hummed as he looked lost in thought for a moment, almost as if he were trying to decide if you were fucking with him or not.

You gave a quick description of the woman who had surprised you and you saw his expression change quickly as if a realization had dawned on him. You wouldn’t say that he seemed pleased when he realized who you had meant, but rather annoyed in way.

“Someone you do know then?” You asked. “Not just a fan who sees you around?”

“Um, yeah, sounds like someone I might know.”

“Who is she?”

“Exactly who she said she was. Just a friend.”

“Uh huh,” you replied, cocking your eyebrow at him indicating that you didn’t really believe him.

***

Once Y/N left the room, Chris stood there; taken aback and very much annoyed. He couldn’t really believe that she had called him out like that, but it was fair. He had been the one to initiate the kiss and he was the one who never even brought it up afterwards. A part of him expected her to confront him about it.

He thought he was being mysterious, he thought that he could get away with playing her a little bit. Obviously he had been wrong.

She certainly wasn’t the type of girl to be intrigued by a spur of the moment kiss and she certainly didn’t think it was fun to be left wondering.

He realized that he needed to change his game plan, especially since there was another unexpected player involved. People were always falling for Rob, but he certainly hadn’t counted on Y/N being interested as well.

He kicked himself over the fact that he hadn’t just said something to her about how he felt. Now, one of his best friends had made his move and although he was concocting ways to remove Rob from the situation, he really hated that he had to do it.

Not only was there the whole, Rob and Y/N thing; but Y/N had apparently talked with someone even more unexpected.

He thought hard about his next steps. He very much wanted to see what there could be between he and Y/N, but, considering the fact that Y/N had obviously had a run in with someone that he would rather she avoid, he realized that he should probably tread lightly. Still, if he chose to back off a little bit, there was no doubt that Rob would win her over easily. He already seemed to have her interest. Chris could see it every time Y/N looked at Rob.

Letting out a long sigh, Chris ran his hand over his beard, feeling a bot defeated for a moment. None of this was planned at all, but that just meant that he needed to reevaluate and try to fix this mess.

Tags: @arses21434 @jamielea81 @collinscosmicentity @laubeck10

[insanityclause]

Every day, after lunch, Joan Bakewell has an assignation with a pre-booked bedroom at Durrants Hotel in London. In another time, another life, that might have been the start of a racy anecdote, but the veteran broadcaster, who is filming her television show Portrait Artist of the Year across the street, has distinctly unromantic intentions.

“I have a snooze,” she says happily. “Just 20 minutes. Excellent. We’re on the set at seven and go on until seven at night. What was really touching was that the producers came to me and said, ‘We know how old you are, obviously — what one thing would make your day easier?’ I said, ‘If I was at home, I’d have a snooze.’ They said, ‘OK, done!’ So they’ve provided that for me at their expense. Good man management.”

Bakewell went from thinking-man’s crumpet (the tag that has accompanied her unfailingly since it was given to her in the 1960s by the comedian Frank Muir) presenting the pioneering discussion programme Late Night Line-Up, to a tsar for the elderly about 40 years later. She was appointed by the Labour government in 2008 to give a campaigning voice to those over 60. “I’m known for being old as much as anything these days,” she tells me, looking amused. “When Harriet Harman asked me to be the voice of older people, everybody said, ‘Yes, well she is, so that’s why she’s doing it.’ Bakewell has since stepped down from the role, but was made a Labour peer in 2011 and sits in the House of Lords at least three days a week.

“Do I mind about the perception of me as old? By the time you get to my age, you don’t care, you know,” she says, laughing. “There’s no point in pretending you’re a young chick. Long, long gone. Been old for ever. I’ve been over 60 for 25 years.”

We are sitting in the airy living room of the north London mews house to which she has recently downsized, two-storey walls lined floor to ceiling with books. The garden, glimpsed through the large sliding glass doors, is under construction. Clad in citron sweater and smart navy trousers and shoes (not flat), Bakewell looks nowhere near 85.

She has a casual, beguiling warmth, and it’s no surprise that men fell at her feet. Married twice (first to the radio producer Michael Bakewell and then the theatre director Jack Emery), she famously had an eight-year affair with the playwright Harold Pinter during her first marriage, which inspired his play, and subsequent 1983 film, Betrayal, directed by David Jones. Now contentedly on her own, how important has love been for her?

“It’s been very important,” she says. “It is important. I’ve got loads and loads of friends and had two marriages and make bonds quite easily. The kind of imperative of sexual urges falls away, thank God, and doesn’t torment you like it did once. But close bonds with people are very important to me. I continue to find people attractive and interesting. You know how it is.

“If the producers of the series said that, for instance, Tom Hiddleston was coming in to be a portrait artist, I’d go, “Ooooh, how lovely . . . mmm!” And they’d all go, ‘You’re meant to be past this,’ and I’m not exactly. To that extent I’m not a dead, inert piece of rubbish, I’m still human. He’s wonderful.” She met Richard Madden, the Bodyguard actor, at a wedding. “I hadn’t really registered who he was, but I remember thinking, ‘Who’s that enormously handsome man?’ He was very charming, but I only met him in passing.

“I clocked him, and certainly saw him on TV. Fantastic! I love talent, you see. I don’t want to sound as if I’m a groupie, but if someone is a brilliant actor, it’s tremendously moving, or a painter, or musician. I love the quality that people bring to concentration when they’re not concentrating on me. I quite like lovers concentrating on me, but when they’re concentrating on what they’re doing, I watch with fascination. The creative impulse is enormously attractive in other people, and it brings out something in you, calls for a response, doesn’t it?”

Among the many paintings on the walls, there is one of her by the Scottish artist John Bellany and she must have inspired poetry, surely? But no. “Harold wrote Betrayal, but that was long after our affair was over, and drew on all that information, but it wasn’t to me because he was married to Antonia [Fraser]. Antonia wrote me a very nice letter saying, ‘It’s a very strong play, you mustn’t be upset by it.’ ” That was generous-hearted of her, I say. “Well, we were all friends,” Bakewell states, matter-of-factly. “In the papers it all looked like strange people were offending each other, but that wasn’t the case at all.”

She regards her Sky series (which she calls Bake Off with paint — “People get really hooked on it” — and presents with the actor Stephen Mangan) as a wonderful late godsend. “It has transformed my life.” Her first co-presenter was the comedian Frank Skinner. “In fact, I went to the opera with him last night, we’ve become good friends. He really loves opera and so do I, and I don’t have any close friends who do, so I can say, ‘Hey, Frank, I’ve got tickets!’”

Bakewell has two children, Matthew and Harriet, and six grandchildren. But last year, after 53 years, she decided to sell the house that had been the family home. “The stairs were getting more than I could cope with, and it was too big for me. It was a huge undertaking, a voyage of Ulysses. They say it’s as bad as divorce.” Everything that happened in her adult life had happened while she was living there: “But closing the door on the last day, the family were all there, helping, but we were all too exhausted for it to be poignant.”

Despite the upheaval of moving into the mews house, she is enjoying it. “I’ve embarked on creating something new. The first night I thought, ‘This is the future, I’ve made the right decision.’ I’m going to stay here for ever, I’m not going anywhere else.

“And I knew when you’re 85 you’re going to have to think about when illness strikes. There’s a small bedsit upstairs, which I’ve kitted out with a little oven and a fridge and things, and that’s where the carer will be. It’s a guest room now, but I’m ready.” A care home, even a good one with string quartets and lectures and outings, is, she says, not going to suit her.

“Knowing yourself is probably the secret, isn’t it? I’m enormously convivial, but I like to come home and just be peaceful. Be on my own. It’s in my character to do what I want with my life, say yes to the good things. And life is good. I’m due to have new hearing aids, and I’ve got a metal hip and I’ve got arthritis, and I wear glasses. I mean, it’s falling apart slowly, but I do believe in holding the bits together.

“I don’t look too far ahead, as the route’s getting shorter. What’s next is to concentrate on the things that I enjoy, and if I’m asked to do work, to do it to the best of my ability, to enjoy my friends and family. Enjoy this place I’ve created, getting the garden planted. I’m hoping to take up two new things I’ve never done before: gardening and birdwatching. My daughter has already got me a bird bath. So when I’m really old I shall sit at this window — it slides right open — and watch the birds. I shall grow lots of herbs. New skills. There’s still time, you know. Plenty of people get to 100 years old.”

JOAN BAKEWELL’S PERFECT WEEKEND

Caribbean cruise or skiing in Verbier? Oh, Caribbean cruise

Favourite tipple? A good brandy

Signature dish? Liver and capers, my children’s favourite

Last person you texted? My daughter, we text most days

I couldn’t get through the weekend without . . . Going to a movie. I like the Curzon in Bloomsbury, such an attractive place

Portrait Artist of the Year is on Sky Arts on Tuesdays at 8pm

[wildefiction]

Focus

WORD COUNT: 3,069

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Reader goes on a date with Rob

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Drinking, Flirting, Kissing

NINE

When you returned to the photo op room, you didn’t even have a moment to mention the woman that you had met to Chris. He was already awaiting the line of fans outside of the room as he motioned toward a handler with a silent nod.

“Can you escort her to the green room? She’s meeting the band.”

“Oh, is that now?” You asked, feeling the anxiety grow now that you realized you were really doing this. You were being trusted to do a big shoot with a band that you loved, and the fact that you and Rob had definitely been a bit flirty with each other didn’t help to ease those anxieties.

Chris only nodded to you and gave you a sly smile, the handler jumping right into action and motioning to you to follow her.

You quickly gathered your equipment and followed her out of the room, taking just a moment to glance back at Chris nervously. His eyes met yours briefly and you caught just a hint of something that looked like concern. His usual smile that he reserved for you had faded, but you couldn’t dwell on it too much as you rushed off to meet the band.

***

They were waiting for you in the green room when you walked in, each of them looking up at you as you entered the room. You smiled at them as they stood up in unison, ready to follow you for the shoot.

Reminding yourself that you had a short period of time to do this, you decided not to make small talk or even hesitate, even if you maybe wanted to talk to Rob more.

“You ready?” You asked as you motioned for them to follow you this time.

There were collective agreements and they stayed just behind you as you headed out. You had the perfect spot in mind, and you only hoped that this would go well.

“So, where are we doing this?” Billy asked.

“Um, I figured the pavilion would be good,” you answered as you began to lead the way. “It’s nice out today and natural lighting is my favorite. Plus, the backgrounds are less distracting.”

You kept a brisk pace as you headed down one of the long hallways, knowing that your walk was also counted in the time limit. Rob kept right up with you, glancing over to smile as you noticed him by your side.

***

Once outside, you directed the guys on where to stand and gave them some ideas on posing. Mostly, you allowed them to be as natural as possible as you began to press away at the shutter button.

Your nervousness had eased up and you went right into photographer mode. Hidden behind the viewfinder, it was almost as if you were hidden from them right now; and hidden from Rob’s obvious stare that never left you.

You shot rapidly and asked them to follow you to a new location. It was more of the same. You worked even more proficiently now and the fact that the guys were very laid back and natural in front of the camera, made everything a lot easier. You didn’t have to tell them where to stand or how to pose anymore. They just did their thing and you did your best to capture it.

“I think I have time to get a few individual shots in,” you said as you dug through your bag to reclaim a new lens.

You looked up as Rob, Billy, and Stephen stepped aside; allowing Mike to go first. Again, they knew what they were doing and how to make this shoot work for you as well.

You took a lot of shots of each of them, ending on Rob who apparently had wanted to save himself for last.

Before you could get right into it, he addressed the other guys.

“I think she’s done with all of us,” he said, glancing at you as if to ask if the rest of the guys were done. “You don’t have to hang out.”

“No, yeah,” you muttered. “You’re done. I’m just gonna finish up with Rob and we’re good.”

The other three thanked you and headed back inside, leaving you and Rob alone. Your nervousness reappeared the moment he turned back to you and smiled.

“This is gonna take, like a minute,” you said. “You could’ve all left together.”

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have had a moment alone with you,” he grinned.

He stood there in place, already looking as if he were ready for the camera; so you started shooting away.

He was casual and his eyes still didn’t leave you as you moved around, trying to get new angles.

“You know,” he began. “You’re really good at this.”

“I learned a lot from the best,” you replied as you kept your face hidden behind the camera, taking way more shots of Rob than you had the other guys. Perhaps for selfish purposes.

“Chris… right,” he said. “So… about that… what’s going on between you two?”

You stopped taking photos just then, sort of thrown off at his blunt question. You pulled the camera down from your face and looked at him quizzically.

“I mean… I guess it’s not my business,” he stammered, blushing as he realized that he was maybe getting too personal.

“No,” you said firmly. “It’s not your business. But, he and I are friends. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he replied. “I just- you seem close. He seems really… protective of you? I just sort of thought that maybe I was missing something.”

“I think I’m done,” you announced as you began to pack your camera up. His question had certainly put a damper on your moment, but you also realized that you were probably getting carried away on taking photos of him.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said quickly as he approached you. “It’s just- we’re having drinks together tonight and I really don’t want to step on toes if…”

“Chris and I are just friends,” you said again. “I wouldn’t have agreed to going out with you if he and I were seeing each other. I assume that’s what you’re really asking.”

“Good,” he breathed out.

His face lit up again as he smiled at you.

Once you had your stuff packed, you started to walk, leading the way back into the convention center.

“Did Chris say something to you?” You asked as you stepped into the air conditioned hallway and out of the heat.

You were now a little worried that maybe Chris had mentioned that kiss from last night. You didn’t know why he would really. Not when it went unexplained and unexpected. He especially wouldn’t mention it to Rob of all people. Would he?

“Not really. I mean, he said the same thing you just said. You’re friends. He just…” He trailed off, face scrunched up in contemplation as he chose his words carefully.

“What did he say?”

“He just seems really kinda… against you maybe going out with other people.”

“Do you and Chris talk about me?”

You hid your concern behind a playful smile. Again, you were almost certain that that kiss last night had meant something to Chris. Even if he didn’t bring it up afterwards, you had definitely noted the change in his behavior towards you. He was unusually flirty and close to you all the time is seemed, and no one just kisses a friend at the end of a dinner unless they’re hinting at something.

You were trying not to think too much about it, because more than anything, you disliked not having answers to why he did it in the first place. You hated that the two of you were going about your day as if it hadn’t even happened.

Even more, you were now really concerned that he might have mentioned it to Rob after he had asked you out.

“No. We don’t talk about you. Not really. He did tell me that you weren’t interested in dating actors or musicians though.”

“Why would he tell you that?” You asked.

Now, you had made it to your destination and the two of you stepped into the green room that was scarcely occupied with a couple of the other actors. Rob glanced around quickly before answering you.

“I was hoping you could tell me why.”

“I don’t think he knows me well enough to talk to other people about my ‘type’. I’m sorry he said that to you.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m getting my date, right?” He grinned proudly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled in return. “And I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Me too. Look, I gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yes,” you replied. “I can’t wait.”

***

Just as Rob got quickly back to work, so did you. You steeled yourself before heading back to the green room, sort of annoyed that Chris had talked about you at all to someone else. You were good friends, yes; but this friendship had been built over a computer screen and text messages. He hardly knew you well enough to have an opinion on your taste in men.

You didn’t want to outright confront him about his comments to Rob. For all you knew, he really was just being a friend and maybe he knew something you didn’t. He was a close, personal friend of Rob’s and had been for years. These two knew each other far better than you knew Rob or even Chris.

You decided to let it slide, at least for today. You really didn’t want to know if Chris knew that Rob was possibly a jerk or something, and you really wanted to go out with Rob at least once so that you could decide on your own if he was worth seeing.

You had moved right into helping Chris with a round of fans for photo ops with Kim and Briana. You were a little less tense through this session; laughing and having a great time simply because the ladies were so energetic and friendly.

Chris’ playlist blasted through the speaker, and even though you had thought that the intensity of him music was sort of anxiety-inducing at first, you were getting used to it. It not only helped to keep the talent going, but it also seemed to ease the nervous fans who waited their turns.

Through the next few rounds of ops, Chris hadn’t said two words to you. You just stood there quietly, handing him the things that he motioned for and occasionally taking the camera from him to take a photo when fans insisted that he join them.

As the day wound down, you were eager to get out of there and back to your room to get ready for drinks with Rob. You had definitely been looking forward to it all day, so you asked Chris if it was okay for you to cut out a bit early.

“You still need me?” You asked as he was already packing up some of his gear.

“I think we’re good,” he responded.

He didn’t look at you as he spoke, just seemed overly into whatever it was that he was currently doing.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, fine,” he mumbled in return.

“Are you okay?” You asked, not convinced that he was.

“I’m fine. Just go. I know you have… plans or whatever.”

He waved you off, still not bothering to even look at you.

All of the touching, winking, and flirty grins he had been giving you so far seemed like they had worn out now. Now, he was just making you feel as if he didn’t really care if you were here or not.

“Why are you being such a jerk?”

The words came before you had a chance to really think about them. It wasn’t that you thought he was purposefully being a jerk and you were probably reading too much into it. But, his behavior toward you seemed to change after you talked to or even spent a little time with Rob.

You still had that kiss on your mind, and although you had convinced yourself that it hadn’t really meant anything, you wondered if maybe you were wrong about that. Could he be jealous of Rob?

“I’m not,” he argued. “I’m just- you know it’s probably a bad idea to get too involved with the talent, right?”

There it was. This was definitely about Rob for some reason.

“We’re going out for drinks.”

“Yeah, a date.”

“Something like that…”

“Just- be careful.”

“Do you have a problem with me going out with Rob?”

“No,” he said sharply, pulling back as if the idea of it was ridiculous. “You can do whatever you want. I just- know how he is.”

“I’m not listening,” you laughed. “He’s a nice guy. I’m having drinks with him. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything.”

“I’m not even saying anything rude, Y/N.”

“Is he really a bad guy?” You asked, not sure if you really wanted the answer.

Rob easily came across as a good, decent man and the last thing you wanted was for this image that you had in your mind of him to be shattered.

“He’s not a bad guy,” Chris responded quietly. “He’s one of the best guys I know.”

“Then what’s the issue here?”

“There is no issue,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. You can do what you want. Have fun.”

“I don’t like the way you’re acting right now. I don’t know what’s going on or if you know something that I don’t… but I don’t like this.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe I’ve just been thinking about last night and I’m a little thrown off that you’re going out with him after that.”

“Chris,” you sighed in frustration. “You kissed me and then walked away. You never said a thing about it.”

“It wasn’t planned. It just happened.”

“Do we need to talk about it? Because I don’t know what that was, and maybe I’d like some answers.”

“We probably should,” he agreed. “But don’t you have a date to get to?”

You huffed out in response, annoyed that he was acting like this. Maybe this would be a very different situation had he said something to you sooner. Right now, you felt that he was being unfair. Mostly, you hated when men just expected you to know something.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to talk about it, but he was right. You did have a date to get ready for. And you weren’t about to pass up spending time with Rob.

“You’re right,” you replied as you grabbed your bag and prepared yourself to leave. “I do have a date. I have a date with a really nice guy who actually had the balls to ask me out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You headed for the door, noting the look of surprise on Chris’ face at your comment. It felt good to know that you could call him out for his behavior. Then, you recalled something from earlier, and since you were feeling a bit frisky, you stopped short and turned back to him.

“Oh,” you added. “I forgot to tell you, but I ran into someone earlier who said they knew you.”

“Who?”

“I didn’t catch her name, but she said you and her were really good friends. In fact, she described it as a special relationship.”

“Hmm,” he hummed as he looked lost in thought for a moment, almost as if he were trying to decide if you were fucking with him or not.

You gave a quick description of the woman who had surprised you and you saw his expression change quickly as if a realization had dawned on him. You wouldn’t say that he seemed pleased when he realized who you had meant, but rather annoyed in way.

“Someone you do know then?” You asked. “Not just a fan who sees you around?”

“Um, yeah, sounds like someone I might know.”

“Who is she?”

“Exactly who she said she was. Just a friend.”

“Uh huh,” you replied, cocking your eyebrow at him indicating that you didn’t really believe him.

***

Once Y/N left the room, Chris stood there; taken aback and very much annoyed. He couldn’t really believe that she had called him out like that, but it was fair. He had been the one to initiate the kiss and he was the one who never even brought it up afterwards. A part of him expected her to confront him about it.

He thought he was being mysterious, he thought that he could get away with playing her a little bit. Obviously he had been wrong.

She certainly wasn’t the type of girl to be intrigued by a spur of the moment kiss and she certainly didn’t think it was fun to be left wondering.

He realized that he needed to change his game plan, especially since there was another unexpected player involved. People were always falling for Rob, but he certainly hadn’t counted on Y/N being interested as well.

He kicked himself over the fact that he hadn’t just said something to her about how he felt. Now, one of his best friends had made his move and although he was concocting ways to remove Rob from the situation, he really hated that he had to do it.

Not only was there the whole, Rob and Y/N thing; but Y/N had apparently talked with someone even more unexpected.

He thought hard about his next steps. He very much wanted to see what there could be between he and Y/N, but, considering the fact that Y/N had obviously had a run in with someone that he would rather she avoid, he realized that he should probably tread lightly. Still, if he chose to back off a little bit, there was no doubt that Rob would win her over easily. He already seemed to have her interest. Chris could see it every time Y/N looked at Rob.

Letting out a long sigh, Chris ran his hand over his beard, feeling a bit defeated for a moment. None of this was planned at all, but that just meant that he needed to reevaluate and try to fix this mess.

CHAPTER TEN

TAGS: @wings-of-a-raven @jamielea81 @natasha-cole