#taking a deep breath & stretching & yoga & meditation AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF
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sometimes people write and hc Rin (bllk) as if he is Tobio (hq) and i dont get why?
#idk man there's something about people writing Rin like he's all 'uwu' and use similar phrasing to tobio fics i've seen#yeah he's akward but he is vastly different from Tobio#i dont get why people write him like some cute little shy guy#this bitch is hilariously angst and hatred#his morning routine is literally#opening the window to let in fresh air#taking a deep breath & stretching & yoga & meditation AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF#“revisiting his feelings of sadness and rage”#.✄.chat#if Rin were in 2008 he'd so be a scene boy listening to chiodos#tobio gets frustrated and all#but rin is anger issues embodied
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Temporary Fix
Based on this ask from @drinkyoursoupbitch
Summary: Equinox is taking its very first steps as a band founded by uni friends and Jaz and Leon find themselves just the two of them for the very first time, in a venue Jaz would never have dreamed of going. Warning: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, popular band trashing (pls don't come for me, it's for the story)
You caught my attention, you were looking at me first All that I can see's you waking up in my t-shirt If you're not hooked on anything right now, I can be your vice
~ One Direction - Temporary Fix ~
“Take a deep breath, hold it in your lungs. Embrace the fire. Find your balance. Switch.”
Jaz let out the breath she’d been dying to let go in a huff and moved, lowering her head to in between her arms as she stretched her legs. A drop of sweat loosened itself from between her shoulder blades and along her upside-down spine, causing her to shiver. The tickling distracted her, and even though she tried her best to follow the instructions she was given, she lagged behind as the rest of her yoga class moved into a more elaborate position. Having missed the teacher’s explanation, she did her best to mimic what everybody else was doing.
”Rotate your shoulders in and shift your weight. It’s easier that way.”
Blowing against the ponytail, which had fallen into her face, Jaz gave Leon, who was now walking through the rows of mats correcting positions a dubious look.
”I don’t think I can move in any way at all.”
His lips twitching, Leon reached out and lightly pushed against a spot above her shoulder blades. Suddenly, the weight which had started to make her arms shake was gone, and Jaz let out the breath she realised she had definitely been holding. She gave Leon a thankful look but he was already gone, ready to help the next of his students. On the mat next to her, her friend Mel was rolling her eyes, mouthing a silent ‘Bullshit!’ as she caught Jaz looking. They shared a chuckle but Jaz’s thoughts soon wandered back towards Leon.
Ever since she and Mel had started up their new band with him and his sister Mara a couple of months ago, Jaz had made it a point to go (and drag Mel) to the yoga classes Leon was teaching at a small studio near the MMU campus. He was a great teacher and Jaz usually enjoyed his classes immensely but something about Leon seemed off today. She had noticed earlier when they had all met for lunch in the university canteen, and the day before during band rehearsal; there was a strain to him that Jaz had never noticed before, a sudden restlessness beneath his usual calm demeanour that was entirely unlike him. She was curious to know why but so far, there had been no opportunity to find out.
As everyone settled down for the meditation that concluded all of Leon’s classes, Jaz found herself entirely unable to concentrate. She fidgeted in her seat, moving her hands from her thighs to her knees and back again. Her thoughts had strayed to Leon again, and giving up on her chance of inner peace for the day, she opened her eyes again.
He sat in front of the class like he always would but instead of guiding their meditation with his voice he was quiet today. His face was turned towards the big window next to him, where late autumn sunlight was slanting inside, basking him in its glow. His back was perfectly straight, both his feet resting on top of his knees in a lotus seat. His hands were folded in his lap and everything about him was still but it was far from peaceful. Jaz thought that he looked lost in thought, sad somehow, as if he was trying to hold on to something, too scared that it might slip away if moved only the slightest bit.
When the class was over and everyone but her and Mel had left, she seized her chance.
”What’s up with you today?”
”Hm?” Leon only briefly glanced up from the props he was putting away. “What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.”
”No, you’re not,” Jaz insisted, trodding after him with her arms full of yoga blocks. “You’re quiet. You barely said a word during meditation.”
“I believe that’s the whole point of it.”
The corners of Leon’s mouth twitched but the smile didn’t reach his eyes and he quickly looked away again. Jaz clicked her tongue.
”This is about Clary, isn’t it?”
Leon’s shoulders stiffened. “What about Clary?”
”Have you given her your present yet? Didn’t she like it?”
“Didn’t he tell you?” a familiar drawl sounded from the door, where Mara, the fourth member of their group had appeared to pick them up. The sneer on her face was even more distinct than usual. “That bitch broke up with him.”
Jaz gasped, heat creeping up her neck. “Oh God, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
Leon merely shrugged but a defeated look had crossed his face. “No need. Not like you could know.”
”That’s shit, mate,” Mel said and clapped him on the back. “What’re you doing with those tickets now? Mara said they cost a fortune.”
Again Leon shrugged. “I don’t know. Sell them probably, if I can find a buyer on such short notice.” Half-jokingly he added, “Unless one of you would like to come?”
Both Mara and Mel shook their heads, Mara immediately so. Feeling like she needed to make up for her blunder earlier, Jaz gave them a look and shrugged her shoulders.
”Why not? Who were you going to see, anyway?”
”You’ll find out,” Mara cut Leon off, her grin wider than Jaz had ever seen before. “You’re going to have a blast.”
***
London’s O2 Arena could fit up to twenty thousand people, and from the looks of it, all of the seats would be filled. Jaz turned her head left and right as she and Leon made their way from North Greenwich Station towards the massive structure on the side of the River Thames. Her brows knitted together in a frown as she noticed the age of the people - almost exclusively girls - headed in the same direction as them, but her questioning looks in Leon’s direction were being ignored. She had asked him who they were going to watch again and again but he kept shrouding himself in silence. Jaz suspected that Mel had found out but judging by the cackle she had received when Leon had picked her up, Jaz couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling that she might regret what she had so blindly agreed on.
”We’re almost there,” she tried for the tenth time, provoking only a strained smile from Leon’s side. “You might as well tell me.”
”As you said,” shrugged Leon, hands buried deeply in his pocket, “we’re almost there. You’re gonna find out in a minute.”
He looked uncomfortable as he said so, and it took Jaz only a couple more minutes and a glimpse at the giant posters surrounding the entrance to the arena to find out why. She stopped dead in her tracks.
”You’re kidding.”
”They’re supposed to be quite good.”
”One Direction?” She shot Leon an accusing look. “I trusted you. I thought your taste was decent.”
”I’ve never taken you for a snob.”
Jaz wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a snob.”
”Sounds suspiciously like it.”
”I just don’t like mass-produced pop music.”
More than one girl clad in fan memorabilia gave Jaz a dark look as they passed her. Leon, on the other hand, only shrugged.
”Neither do I. The tickets were a gift, remember?”
“Good thing she dumped you. Really dodged a bullet there.” Seeing the smile that had appeared on Leon’s face falter, Jaz cursed herself for speaking before thinking. “Sorry. Too soon?”
“Only a little.”
He sounded defeated, the same tension Jaz had noticed in the yoga studio the other day having crept into his posture again. Sighing, Jaz nudged him with her shoulder and put a smile on her face.
“Stop the gloom. Come on. Let’s get drunk and see what One Direction has to offer.”
Much to Jaz’s disappointment, it turned out that there was, in fact, nothing to get drunk on. Once inside the vast arena and in their seats, Jaz let her eyes wander over the crowd assembled around them. It consisted almost exclusively of girls much younger than her, and once again she felt a pang of astonished disbelief that she, of all people, had made it to a pop concert. The people around them were buzzing with excitement - some of them squealing for their idols already - and she suddenly longed for the relaxed atmosphere of the small to mid-sized rock shows she usually attended.
Next to her, Leon seemed to think no differently. The conversation normally flowing so effortlessly between them had ceased during their wait before admittance, and the answers Jaz was able to draw from him now were half-hearted at best. She didn’t know whether it was the venue, the act they were about to see, or the fact that she was in the spot his (ex) girlfriend was supposed to sit, but the atmosphere was strained where it had never been before, which wasn’t a feeling Jaz liked one bit.
She tapped Leon on the shoulder.
”We still have some time,” she almost screamed at him as a roar went up over a roadie adjusting something on the stylised stage. “Shall we get a breather?”
Something like relief crossed Leon’s face. “Smoking area is out back.”
”I don’t smoke.”
”Not talking about cigarettes, am I?”
Giggling, Jaz rose from her seat and led the way outside. Once they had found a secluded corner away from most of the hustle and bustle, she stood close to Leon, blocking view of him while he produced a colourful woven pouch out of his pockets, rolling the dried herbs inside into a paper with deft fingers. He lit up and passed the joint to Jaz, who took a long drag, feeling the warmth spread inside her body.
”Do you realise,” Leon said after they had passed the joint back and forth a couple of times, “that this is the first time we’re doing something together, just the two of us?”
Stunned, Jaz tilted her head. “No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
”Wow.” She blew smoke into the air, trying not to giggle as it tickled past her lips. “Is that why you’re acting all strange and mood and gloom today?” She laughed when Leon shrugged, nudging his foot with the tip of her trainers. “There’s no need. I’m delightful company.”
”I know.”
”And this is not a date either.”
”I know it’s not.”
”Because that’d be against the rules.”
”Very much so.”
”They’re good rules,” Jaz sighed, passing Leon back the weed. “Focus on the music and don’t get distracted fucking around. Makes sense.”
”Rich is a great manager. He knows what he’s doing.”
They fell silent again. Jaz sighed.
”Listen, both of us have imagined this evening very differently but we’re here now, and that’s a fact. No use making ourselves have a shit time, is it?”
Tentatively, Leon gave her a strained smile. “I guess not.”
”See? Hang on.” Turning away, Jaz quickly walked over to the tired-looking set of parents standing a little to the side of the smoking area, as suspiciously close to each other as she and Leon. When she returned, she triumphantly held two tiny bottles of clear liquor into Leon’s face. An astounded look crossed his face. His lips twitched.
”You’re incredible.”
”What’s new?” Unscrewing the lid, she toasted to Leon with a wink. “To our non-date.”
Grinning, Leon stubbed out their joint and brought the bottled shot to his lips. “To One Direction.”
When they returned inside, the crowd was buzzing with anticipation. The show must have been about to start, yet there were still people lined up along the merchandise store as Leon and Jaz passed there. A group of girls was huddled around a poster one of them had just purchased, discussing the boys smiling at them from the print with flushed cheeks. Every now and again, they would cast furtive looks in Leon’s direction, who pretended not to notice. Still feeling the effect of the weed, Jaz bit back a laugh and approached them. Frowning, Leon followed her.
”Are you as excited as I am?” she beamed at the confused girls. “Can’t be much longer now.”
One of them, a tall girl with hearts painted on both her cheeks, eyed her warily. “Do we know you?”
”All Directioners, are we not?” Jaz gave Leon a sideways look and smirked. “My boyfriend here was so excited to see One Direction, you have no idea.”
”What to say,” Leon sighed and put an arm around her shoulder, not missing a beat playing along. “Can’t help getting drawn in when your girlfriend erects a shrine to Harry Styles in your bedroom, can you?”
Looking between themselves, the girls shuffled away, leaving Jaz and Leon behind, giggling to themselves.
“You take me for a Harry Styles girl?” Jaz raised her eyebrow as they made their way back to their seats. “Really?”
”He’s got nice hair, or so I’ve been told.”
”’Told’, hm?” Jaz laughed. “I’ll think about it if he grows himself a beard.”
Leon said nothing, corners of his mouth twitching as he removed the arm that had kept resting around Jaz’s shoulders.
The high of the weed soon wore off but once the show had started, Jaz found that, unexpectedly, she didn’t mind. The music was run-of-the-mill pop, just like she had expected, but the energy of the crowd was incredible. She soon bopped along to the beat, and Leon next to her was doing the same. Every now and then, she stole a glance at him when she thought he wouldn’t notice. He, too, was nodding his head in time with the music, and after about half of the setlist, all the tension in his shoulders seemed to have disappeared. He was as relaxed as Jaz had known him to be, a sort of calm to his movements that made him seem peaceful even when the whole arena around him was dancing. It was good to see him like this. It was good to be here with him like this.
Her surprisingly good mood carried Jaz through the rest of the show, and even the tightly packed tube leaving from North Greenwich Station couldn’t shake her. She and Leon stood to the side of the wagon, engaged in a hearty debate about the show. He had his hand hooked into the holds running along the ceiling, while Jaz, being too small to reach them comfortably, resorted to sticking close to Leon.
The night was mellow when they got off the station, a mellow wind ruffling Jaz’s hair as they ascended from underground. It was a good deal to walk to where she and Mel were sharing their flat but Jaz hardly noticed. She and Leon were still talking, about tonight’s show, other shows they had attended, shows they might themselves potentially play should everything work out how Rich had promised them to.
“You’re never quite still, are you?”
”Huh? What do you mean?” They had stopped at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. Lost in thought, Jaz had been humming one of the songs that had been stuck in her head ever since leaving the arena, tapping both her foot and fingers to two different rhythms. It was this Leon nodded his head at.
”Whenever there is music, you move. And mostly when there isn’t, you do, too. No denying it,” he laughed when Jaz opened her mouth to protest, “I’ve seen you during my classes. You’re the only one who can't seem to sit still even for a moment.”
“I can’t help it,” Jaz shrugged. Her cheeks were warm but there was a smile forming on her face. “It’s a drummer thing, I guess.”
”Music is in your blood.” The smile mirrored on Leon’s face grew wider, and a tiny bit lopsided as he pointed between them. “That’s why we work. So you didn’t think tonight was all awful?”
”I don’t know.” Jaz pulled a face. “I can’t bring myself to say anything nice about One Direction, I don’t think.”
”So you’re a snob after all.” Laughing, he stepped sideways when Jaz made to hit him. “Personally, I think they weren’t that bad. Maybe Clary had more taste than I gave her credit for.”
His voice faltered at the last words, the spark in his eyes entirely disappeared again. Suddenly, he looked so crestfallen that it made Jaz angry. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this; no one did, but least of all him.
”She has no taste whatsoever,” she said sharply, holding up a finger when Leon made to defend her. “If she had, she wouldn’t have dumped you like she did.”
”She had every right to.”
”I don’t care. She was dumb to. You’re a great person, Leon - an amazing person, even - and you’re kind and funny and good-looking and an incredible musician and if she for one moment thought otherwise...” Jaz shrugged angrily. “No idea how to help her then.”
It took Leon a moment to answer. He swallowed heavily. “That’s… kind of you to say.”
”Even though I am hurting because of you.”
Astounded, Leon stopped walking. Jaz did too. They had reached the building where she and Mel lived, and she had already been climbing the first step leading up to the front door, making her and Leon almost level-eyed. There was surprise in them, and a flicker of something else Jaz wasn’t quite sure how to read.
”What makes you say that?”
”It’s true,” she said casually, forcing herself to look away. She didn’t know why she’d said it, to lighten the mood maybe. It was always like this with Leon - he made her speak before she thought. He made her be in the moment, wholly and entirely. It was one of the qualities she liked about him the most. “Every time I come out of your classes I feel worse than after CrossFit. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing.”
”Peace of body and mind is all the sweeter for having earned it.” His face lay half-hidden in the shadows cast by a nearby street light but something in his eyes had changed. A spark. A challenge? “Where are you hurting?”
”Where not? Mostly here, though.”
She pointed at the top of her shoulders, right where they met her neck. Leon stepped closer, putting his hand on the corresponding spot. Her pain there wasn’t nearly half as bad as she had made it sound but Jaz found that she cared less about this than the slight pressure of Leon’s hand as his thumb brushed over her shoulder, just shy of grazing the edge of her collarbone. Her breath hitched and she was suddenly glad she had brought a jacket. Goosebumps were covering her skin beneath it.
“I told you your posture was bad,” Leon mumbled, not looking at her face but where his hand was still resting on her body.
Jaz swallowed, her throat suddenly almost too tight to speak. “You did.”
“I could show you how to correct your form sometime.”
“Yeah, some time.”
Without realising, she had moved down one step again, closer to Leon, closer to the heat of his body. Even though she was so close now, his hand remained fixed on her shoulder where it had been. She should just raise her arms and hug him goodbye, get the hell back into her flat and be done with it, but strangely, Jaz found herself both unable and unwilling to do so. She took the last step down again, now almost flush against him, as close as they had been in the tube earlier. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was watching her, attentively. She could almost feel his chest rising and falling beneath his shirt in shallow breaths, longed to place her hand there where it had no business. His lips were parted ever so slightly and she studied their curve, the dip in his cupid’s bow. She had never realised his lips were quite so beautiful. No, that was a lie. She had thought it on the very first evening they’d met. She had just made herself not think about it since.
They had moved closer still, and Jaz tilted her head as Leon’s eyes dropped to her lips, holding her breath but she didn’t dare move. Neither did he. They just stood there, their chests almost touching, his hand still on her shoulder, eyes locked in a moment that could have been an eternity in itself.
Eventually, Leon blinked twice. He didn’t move back but even so, the spell had been broken.
“Jaz, I…”
“I know.” She made a conscious effort to step away from him, and the moment disappeared entirely.The spark that had been building between them for the better part of the evening had flickered out, leaving nothing behind but the warmth in her cheeks and the strange feeling in her chest. “This is not a good idea.”
A mixture of relief and regret flickered across Leon’s face, brief but so distinct that Jaz wondered how people could ever think that he was hard to read.
“Please don’t take this wrongly, but the band looks like it’s going places and messing this up would…”
“Leon, it’s cool.” Jaz smiled at him. “I know. Never change a running system, right?”
“Right.”
They fell silent, then after another awkward moment hugged each other goodbye and parted ways. Jaz was almost inside her front door when, on a whim, she turned in the doorway and called after him.
”I had a great evening, by the way. Just don’t tell Mel I said so.”
Leon laughed, dipping his head back into his neck as he. The orange light of the street light washed over him, and even from a distance, Jaz thought she could see the sparkle in his eyes. “Still a snob then.”
”I’m willing to learn. Thanks for taking me.”
”Thanks for coming.”
”That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”
He inclined his head, the lopsided smile from before playing around his lips. “That’s what friends are for.”
And then he was gone, dipping in and out of the light and shadow of the London night, leaving Jaz to watch after him for maybe a moment too long. Shaking herself from her daze, she turned and pulled out her keys. She hoped Mel wasn’t awake anymore.
There were a couple of things she had to think about.
#writers of tumblr#writblr#writing community#creative writing#writeblr#original writing#rockstarverse#wip: when stars ignite#wip: before the spark#soup fairy#yes I’m lagging behind#i know okay
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Top Stress Management Tools for People with Mast Cell Activation (MCAS)
Let’s be real. Living with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) can feel like dealing with a toddler who ate a triple espresso and decided to throw a tantrum about everything. Light? Too bright. Foods? Too smelly. That nice spring breeze? A threat. With MCAS, your body’s mast cells are primed to freak out at the slightest thing. And guess what? Stress is their favorite dance partner. So, if your mast cells are throwing a party every time you get stressed, it’s time to learn some stress management tools that say, “Nope, not today.”
Here are the best ways to keep your mast cells from flipping out, one laugh at a time.
1. Mindful Breathing: Think Zen, Not Zzzz
No, this isn’t about pretending to be a monk on a mountaintop. Mindful breathing is basically giving your nervous system a massage without the awkward oils. When you breathe deeply and slowly, your parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, telling your mast cells, “Calm down, we’re safe.”
• Try the 4-4-4 method: Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4. It’s simple, and you don’t need any special equipment (other than lungs).
• Repeat a few times until you’re more chilled than a cucumber in an ice bath.
Bonus: Deep breathing is portable. You can do it at work, at the DMV, or when your in-laws start talking politics.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): Goodbye Tension, Hello Jelly Limbs
With MCAS, you’re probably carrying enough tension in your body to double as a board. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) is like giving each muscle group a tiny vacation. Tense a muscle, hold, release. It’s like telling your body, “Hey, we don’t need to clench our jaws every time we hear the doorbell.”
• Start from your toes, work your way up to your face.
• Imagine each muscle group as if they’re exhaling, grateful for the break.
When you release tension, your mast cells start thinking, “Well, maybe we don’t need to sound the alarm every 10 seconds.” A win for both body and mind.
3. Meditation: Think Less Yoda, More ‘Sit Quietly’
You don’t have to be an enlightened guru to get the benefits of meditation. Just set aside a few minutes to sit, breathe, and watch your thoughts float by like clouds (even if some are storm clouds).
• Try an app like Headspace or Insight Timer for a gentle guide.
• Don’t worry about “emptying your mind.” Just let thoughts roll in, then shoo them away.
Meditation rewires your brain to respond to stress less dramatically. Over time, you’ll find that your mast cells aren’t reacting to every little bump in the road.
4. Mindfulness: Stay in the Moment (Even If That Moment Is ‘Trying Not to Panic’)
Mindfulness is all about staying present. It’s focusing on the now rather than spiraling into what-ifs and “did I turn off the stove?” moments. For MCAS, mindfulness is golden because it teaches your brain to stay calm instead of going DEFCON 1 every time you sense a change.
• Look around, notice what you see, hear, feel, and smell.
• If your mind starts wandering, gently bring it back to the present. (Like herding cats, but gentler.)
Mindfulness is a skill that takes practice, but with time, your mast cells will learn to take a backseat instead of trying to steer the wheel.
5. Journaling: Because Sometimes You Just Need to Rant on Paper
Let’s face it. Living with MCAS can be…frustrating. Journaling lets you get all that stress out without having to burden your best friend every day. Plus, it’s cheaper than therapy. Studies show that journaling can actually lower anxiety and improve mood. And better mood? Calmer mast cells.
• Grab a notebook, start with a “brain dump.” Write whatever comes to mind. No grammar rules. No judgment.
• Or, try a gratitude journal. Even on tough days, jot down a couple of things you’re grateful for (yes, coffee counts).
Journaling helps you recognize stress triggers, making it easier to manage both your mental load and MCAS symptoms.
6. Yoga and Gentle Stretching: Pretend You’re a Cat
Exercise is tricky with MCAS, but gentle yoga and stretching? That’s a different story. Yoga is like a massage for your muscles and nervous system without leaving you feeling like you ran a marathon.
• Try Hatha or Yin yoga for a slow, soothing practice.
• Avoid intense or heated yoga, which can feel like lighting a match around your already touchy mast cells.
Gentle movement improves circulation, reduces tension, and calms down your fight-or-flight system. Even five minutes of stretching can make a difference.
7. Adaptogens: Not Your Typical Superhero Herb
Adaptogens are herbs that help your body adapt to stress. These little wonders like ashwagandha or holy basil can work wonders for some, though they’re not for everyone with MCAS. Always start slow to make sure your body tolerates them.
• Small doses are key: Even good herbs can be a lot for sensitive bodies, so ease in.
• Chat with a knowledgeable practitioner if you’re unsure—adaptogens aren’t a one-size-fits-all.
If they work for you, adaptogens can help balance cortisol and keep stress from taking your mast cells on a rollercoaster ride.
8. Sleep Hygiene: Tuck in Your Mast Cells for the Night
Sleep is your body’s chance to repair itself. For someone with MCAS, quality sleep can make the difference between a “manageable” day and a “where is my bubble suit?” day.
• Set a consistent bedtime routine—dim lights, read, meditate, whatever calms you down.
• Avoid screens an hour before bed. Mast cells hate blue light as much as your eyes do.
Good sleep helps reset your stress hormones, so your mast cells don’t wake up ready to fight at the first hint of stress.
9. Nature Therapy: Channel Your Inner Hobbit
Studies show that nature lowers stress, blood pressure, and cortisol. Whether it’s the beach, mountains, or a cozy park, stepping outside helps reset your nervous system in ways a crowded gym never could.
• Take a slow stroll outside if weather permits.
• Try “earthing,” aka standing barefoot on grass. Sounds hippie, but it’s legit calming.
Nature provides a break from overstimulation and a calming space for your nervous system—and mast cells—to chill out.
10. Social Support: Find Your People (Even If It’s Just Online)
Living with mast cell activation can feel isolating. That’s where finding a support system comes in. Whether it’s friends who listen or an online group where people get the whole “I can’t eat air” struggle, social support helps.
• Join an MCAS support group online to connect with others who get it.
• Reach out to family or friends who understand (or at least try to).
Connecting with others reminds you that you’re not alone. Stress goes down, and your mast cells back off when you know people are there for you.
Final Thoughts: Relax Your Mast Cells, Reclaim Your Life
MCAS is a marathon, not a sprint, and stress management is your best training plan. From mindful breathing and journaling to nature therapy and yoga, these tools give you the upper hand. It’s not about making stress disappear (if only!) but building a toolkit to handle it so your mast cells don’t call the shots.
Life with MCAS might be a little more challenging, but with the right strategies, you can reduce symptoms and feel more in control. So breathe, stretch, laugh, and maybe even try earthing—your mast cells might just thank you.
Happy healing everyone!
Matt
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Action Anxiety Day: 5 Ways to Move Your Body to Overcome Anxiety
Anxiety has become an increasingly common issue for many people these days. Daily life's constant pressure, stress, and uncertainty can take a toll on our mental well-being. However, there are effective ways to combat anxiety, and one of them is through physical movement. Action Anxiety Day, which is observed on June 10th to spread awareness about anxiety, celebrates the power of movement in overcoming anxiety. Mentioned below are the top five effective ways for an individual to move their body and manage anxiety.
1. Engage in Aerobic Exercises
Aerobic exercises are an excellent way to release tension and boost your mood. These exercises increase your heart rate, improve blood circulation, and trigger the release of endorphins, the feel-good hormones. Activities like jogging, swimming, cycling, or dancing not only provide a physical workout but also have a positive impact on your mental health.
2. Practice Yoga and Mindful Movements
Yoga combines physical movement with mindfulness, making it a powerful tool to alleviate anxiety. The combination of stretching, deep breathing, and mindfulness helps calm the mind, reduce stress, and increase body awareness. Practicing yoga regularly can improve your flexibility, balance, and overall well-being. Additionally, specific yoga poses such as the child's pose, forward fold, and corpse pose are particularly effective in promoting relaxation and reducing anxiety symptoms.
3. Take a Walk in Nature
Spending time in nature has been proven to have a profound impact on mental health. Taking a walk in a park, hiking through a forest, or strolling along a beach can help soothe anxiety. The fresh air, natural surroundings, and gentle exercise all work together to calm your mind and reduce stress. Pay attention to nature’s sights, sounds, and smells as you walk, allowing yourself to be fully present at the moment. Connecting with nature can provide a sense of peace and perspective, making it an excellent strategy for managing anxiety.
4. Try High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)
High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) involves short bursts of intense exercise followed by brief recovery periods. This form of exercise not only improves physical fitness but also offers mental health benefits. HIIT releases endorphins and can help you burn off excess energy and tension. It also improves cognitive function and boosts self-confidence. Make sure that you start at your own pace and gradually increase the intensity to avoid overexertion.
5. Practice Mindful Meditation
While meditation may not involve physical movement in the traditional sense, it is an essential practice for managing anxiety. Mindful meditation focuses on paying attention to the present moment without judgment. By cultivating a non-reactive and non-judgmental mindset, meditation helps break the cycle of anxious thoughts and promotes relaxation. Find a quiet and comfortable space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Start with a few minutes of meditation and gradually increase the duration over time. Regular practice will help you develop resilience to anxiety triggers and enhance your overall well-being.
Road to Recovery
Action Anxiety Day encourages us to prioritize physical movement as a powerful tool for managing anxiety. Engaging in physical activities not only provides physical health benefits but also has a positive impact on mental well-being. Taking action and moving your body can be a significant step toward overcoming anxiety.
In case, you are looking for a treatment center that is backed by an experienced and trained staff and can help you deal with anxiety, then Athena Behavioural Health is the place for you. Athena is one of the leading providers of mental health and addiction-related treatment services across the country. We have two separate treatment facilities in your vicinity – one that focuses entirely on treating patients with mental health issues; and the other one that focuses on treating individuals addicted to any form of substance.
Athena is more than happy to extend its support to its patients. Fully equipped to provide comprehensive treatment interventions comprising medication management, counseling sessions, and alternative therapy classes, Athena assists its patients with effective rehabilitation strategies, coping skills, and continuing care support. For more details about our treatment facilities and packages, WhatsApp us at 9289086193
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How To Plan Your Day For a Stress-Free School Routine?
Sending kids to school seems exhausting most of the time due to last minute rush. Unplanned morning routine causes both you and your kids to be late for school. It throws you off your game, disrupts your mood, and typically leads to forgetting something important to be picked up from the kitchen counter. Therefore, a well-planned and organized start of the day can put an end to all the morning rush and chaos and make it easy for the child to be in school on time. All schools begin their day with an assembly. Likewise, assembly at NPS Sarjapur is the first step in building punctuality & discipline in students.
Creating a stress-free school routine for a child can be a bit of a challenge, but with a little bit of planning and organization, it is definitely possible. Here are some tips to help a child plan their day for a stress-free school routine:
Tips to plan a stress-free school routine
Start the day with a healthy breakfast: Eating a healthy breakfast is essential to start the day with energy and focus. Encourage your child to eat a balanced breakfast that includes protein, carbohydrates, and healthy fats. National Public School Sarjapur Road, is one the best schools in Bangalore East that encourages healthy food habits.
Make a schedule: Creating a schedule for the day can help your child stay organized and on track. They should make a list of all their activities, including school work, extracurricular activities, and leisure time. This can help them prioritize their tasks and manage their time more effectively.
Set realistic goals: Setting realistic goals for the day can help your child stay motivated and focused. They should set specific, measurable, and achievable goals for the day, and break them down into smaller tasks. NPS Sarjapur helps its students in setting smart goals and working towards achieving them.
Prioritize school work: School work should be given priority over other activities. Encourage your child to start their homework and other school-related tasks as soon as they get back home. This will help them stay on top of their work and avoid last-minute stress.
Take breaks: Taking regular breaks throughout the day can help your child stay fresh and focused. They can use this time to stretch, have a snack, or just relax.
Get enough sleep: Getting enough sleep is essential for a stress-free school routine. Encourage your child to establish a regular sleep schedule and stick to it. They should aim for at least 8 hours of sleep per night.
Practice relaxation techniques: Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can help your child reduce stress and improve focus. Encourage them to incorporate these techniques into their daily routine. National Public School focuses on making its students physically fit and intellectually smart, that needs perfect balance between school and other activities.
Positive approach: Encourage your child to have a positive attitude and to focus on the things that are possible to accomplish. National Public School Sarjapur Road is the best School in Bangalore East, that encourages students to have a positive approach and give their best.
Reward system: Create a reward system for completed tasks, this will encourage the child to finish their work on time and have a sense of accomplishment.
Communicate with teachers and school counselors: Keep in touch with teachers and school counselors, to be informed about your child’s school performance and provide help when needed. NPS Sarjapur holds regular parents-teacher meetings to keep parents updated about their kids’ activities and performances.
Conclusion
By following these tips, your child can create a stress-free school routine that will help them stay organized, focused, and motivated. Remember to be patient and supportive throughout the process, and to encourage your child to communicate with you if they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
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The Best Self-Care Routine For Your Moon Sign
If you’ve ever read an article about self-care and felt like it was adventures in missing the point for you, you’re not alone. Just like one-size-fits-all clothes are a myth, one-size-fits-all self-care routines aren’t going to work for everyone.
In astrology, the moon describes the things you need to be happy. It is your personal recipe for comfort and well-being.
In this article, I talk about what a daily routine of self-care looks like for each of the astrological signs.
Moon in Aries
Aries is a stress magnet. With the moon in Aries, it’s essential for you to build activities into your routine that help burn off stress.
In the morning… Start your day with a quick yoga routine or an adaptogen-filled smoothie.
At work… It’s easy for you to fall into a bad posture or unconsciously clench your muscles when you’re stressed out at work. Make sure to take a few minutes throughout the day to stretch and move your body—especially if your job requires you to sit for long periods of time.
At lunch… Fuel up on food that will give you energy, and take a few minutes to do deep breathing exercises. If you have a hard time sitting still long enough to meditate, try taking a walk or doing a simple mindfulness practice.
After work… It’s important to communicate to your body when stress is over. If you find your work or your commute stressful, do something that marks the transition from work-time to home-time like changing your clothes or taking a shower.
On your days off… Look for adventures. You weren’t made to be bored, and there’s a big, wide world out there to explore.
Moon in Taurus
Earthy Taurus moons feel best when you are in your body, and it feels good. You weren’t born on this earth to be a stress-ball, and the more you lean into that, the happier you’ll be.
In the morning… Try to give yourself plenty of time to get through your morning routine. Taurus is a slow sign naturally, and you thrive on calm. Having a few minutes before you begin your day to drink your coffee before you have to start anything important will do a lot for your mood.
At work… Resist the temptation to give into productivity culture. You work best when you’re able to work at your own pace, even if that’s slow and steady. The time other people spend healing from burnout is time you can use to catch up.
At lunch… If there’s anything about your job that is physically uncomfortable, spend a few minutes getting away from that thing, if you can. Otherwise, eat something delicious and take a walk outside when the weather is nice.
After work… Take care of your body. Taurus is the most embodied sign in the zodiac, and it’s important for you to make time in your routine to feel good every day, even if it’s as simple as switching to the comfy shoes instead of the ones that pinch.
On your days off… Spend as much time as you can outside in nature. Taurus gets a lot from connecting with animals, so spend some time at the park watching people walk by with their dogs.
Moon in Gemini
Gemini is the sign of the conversationalist. Gemini moons are happiest when you feel like you are thinking quickly and on top of your game.
In the morning… Take a deep breath. You might be tempted to do All The things, but you don’t have to jump into everything right away. All you have to do right now is breathe.
At work… You might do your best work by going along with the task that is most immediate or urgent, but it’s important to remember that your priorities are important, too. Make a list of a few things you think are important to finish every day and do your best to make sure they don’t get lost.
At lunch… Talking with people is a very important emotional need for you. If you have a job that doesn’t allow you to talk to people while you’re working, reach out to a friend or grab a colleague for coffee.
After work… If you have a job that bores you, now is the time to stimulate your mind. Talk to people you find interesting or geek out about the thing you’re obsessed with at the moment.
On your days off… Socialize, socialize, socialize.
Moon in Cancer
Cancer is the sign of the nurturer, which means that it is extra important for you to take care of yourself. There’s a lot of pressure (especially on people of certain genders) to put everyone else’s priorities first, but you will do a better job taking care of others when you’re well taken care of first.
In the morning… Feed yourself. Literally. It sends a message to your body that you’re taking care of yourself.
At work… Honor your emotions, whatever they are. If it isn’t appropriate to express your feelings in front of your colleagues, there’s a reason the bathroom door has a lock on it.
At lunch… Find quiet if you can. If you can’t, a good pair of noise cancelling headphones works wonders.
After work… Reconnect with your feelings before you jump into anything. If your job is particularly stressful, be careful about making plans on work nights, or make sure you can back out of them. Sometimes self-care isn’t compatible with dinner parties.
On your days off… Schedule yourself some free-time alone. Ask yourself: If I was my best parent, what would I do with this time? Then do that thing.
Moon in Leo
Leo is the sign of the entertainer and the child. You have an emotional need to be seen, and you need to feel like you are making the people around you happy. When you are alone, creative self-expression feeds your soul.
In the morning… Put on something that feels like You. Other signs can get away with wearing the same gray dress slacks 6 days a week. (I’m looking at you, Capricorn.) You don’t have that luxury. A spontaneous smile when you look in the mirror is a must.
At work… You need to be in a job where your work is appreciated. If the people around you don’t get what you’re about, lunch breaks are for job hunting.
At lunch… Do something playful. Adult coloring books were made for Leo moons.
After work… If you’ve got social energy to burn, use it, baby!
On your days off… The best audience is a grateful audience. Take a few hours to volunteer for a cause you believe in.
Moon in Virgo
Virgo is famous for being a detail-oriented perfectionist. As a Virgo moon, you have an emotional need to feel like you have all your ducks in a row. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
In the morning… Get straight on your priorities. List making was made for Virgo moon mornings.
At work… Find yourself being especially critical of yourself (or someone else)? Make it a practice to notice three things you (or they) do right every day. You can do it. Honestly.
At lunch… Check in with yourself: How is that to-do list coming? If you’re feeling antsy because things aren’t getting done, reassess your plans and make peace with changes or set some boundaries on your afternoon.
After work… Make yourself a healthy dinner and get some exercise. …That isn’t the kind of indulgent self-care advice you usually get, but it will make you feel better.
On your days off… Connect with a craft. Anything that you really enjoy doing and can work on perfecting is good for the soul.
Moon in Libra
Libra is the sign of the scales, which means that feeling like you have balance and calm in your life is important for your emotional health.
In the morning… Get into your body and literally find your balance. Spending a minute in a one-legged yoga pose will tell your brain that it’s time to wake up and find your footing.
At work… People are going to look to you to be the peace maker. You can embrace this, or you can fight it, but your ability to see all sides of an issue is valuable. Allow yourself to shine.
At lunch… Look at your face in the mirror. If your best friend had that expression on their face, what advice would you give them? Go do that.
After work… Tend to your relationships. A healthy relationship is a happy Libra moon.
On your days off… Seek serenity, chase beauty, live poetically.
Moon in Scorpio
Scorpio is the sign of the psychologist and the sorcerer. No one feels their darkest emotions as strongly as a Scorpio moon. Tending to hard emotions is essential for your emotional health.
In the morning… Watch out for getting in the habit of waking up depressed, anxious, or angry. If you find that you’re in the same bad mood every morning, it doesn’t have to be that way. Change up your routine, and, if that doesn’t work, talk to your doctor.
At work… It can feel sometimes like you are a researcher behind a one-way mirror. You can see everyone else, but everyone else can’t see you. You can use this to your advantage. It can also make you invisible at times when people should be seeing the good work you’re doing. Make sure you’re using your super power intentionally.
At lunch… If your job denies you solitude, take it back during your breaks. Having times to sort through your feelings during the day is vital for Scorpio moons.
After work… Music is your best friend. If you have a commute, listening to music that resonates with your feelings (or, better, takes you to a better emotional place) will give you a much better evening.
On your days off… Connect with people who love your intensity. The cool kids are supposed to be easy-going, but there are people who value deep honesty. Treasure them when you find them.
Moon in Sagittarius
Sagittarius is the sign of the wanderer, the philosopher, and the student, and no sign understands that life is a journey better than Sagittarius moons. You have an emotional need to feel like life has meaning. Don’t let the cynical world out there put out your fire.
In the morning… If you don’t know the reason you got up this morning, figuring it out is the first thing on your to-do list.
At work… No matter what your job is, find some time to do something you’ve never done before, even if it’s finding out where they keep the big boxes of ketchup packets. Learning something new every day is key to your happiness.
At lunch… Do something that makes you happy. Taking a break to look at silly kitten pictures is a thing.
After work… Break up your routine and try something new. That new Ethiopian restaurant down the street really is calling your name.
On your days off… Explore, explore, explore.
Moon in Capricorn
Some of the other signs might not realize that you weren’t born wearing a business suit, but we know you have a big heart, Capricorn moon.
In the morning… The person who invented goal setting was probably a Capricorn moon. Feeling like you have a clear idea of the mountain you have to climb today is important to you.
At work… You don’t need advice. You’re a Capricorn.
At lunch… Be intentional about eating at your desk. Is it really helping, or does it just feel like it’s helping?
After work… Exists. If you let it.
On your days off… Take them.
Moon in Aquarius
Aquarius is the sign of the genius and the rebel. Aquarius moons have an emotional need to go against the crowd and do their own thing.
In the morning… If you can, try to wake up without an alarm. The feeling of starting the day on your terms will do a lot for your emotional state.
At work… Check your relationship with authority. If you are in a position where you need to take orders from someone you don’t respect, don’t underestimate the toll that will take on your emotional health, and account for that in your self-care practices.
At lunch… Think about the future. It’s something you probably enjoy doing anyway, and if you don’t like your current circumstances some healthy day-dreaming will help you make changes.
After work… Get back into your body. Aquarius’s favorite coping mechanism is dissociation, and it’s important to remember to stop when the need is gone.
On your days off… Do your own thing.
Moon in Pisces
Pisces is the sign of the mystic, the poet, and the open ocean. It is essential for Pisces moons to have free time to explore the mysteries of consciousness and Just Be.
In the morning… Start your day with meditation, even if it’s a few minutes staring out the window on the bus.
At work… Pisces has the ability to masquerade as other signs when necessary, but it’s important to remember who you are. When you’re starting to feel ungrounded lean into the place in your body that feels like the core of your being. Meditate on it for a minute. You’ll know what I’m talking about.
At lunch… Space out. If you don’t do it now, you’ll do it this afternoon. (You might do it this afternoon, anyway.)
After work… Have you meditated yet today?
On your days off… Sensory deprivation tanks were made for Pisces moons.
What about you? What’s your moon sign, and what are you doing to take care of yourself today?
If you’ve read this far, you’re pretty cool, I’d love for you to connect with me on Instagram and tell me about your plans.
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The Tower: Family - 25
The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic
Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)
Word Count: 2175
Warnings: Pregnancy, Labor/childbirth, medical proceedures
Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family. When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.
Chapter 25: Sarah and Rose
As Wanda got closer and closer to her due date, we all started hovering around her in case she went into labor. I was by her side almost constantly, as was Natasha and Sam. The others seemed to take shifts, but we all went to bed at the same time in the same bed which hadn’t always been a given before. Everyone was a little worried that she’d go into labor early and that someone wouldn’t be here for it so they were staying pretty close by.
In the end, we were all worrying for nothing. She made it to thirty-seven weeks just fine and they decided to induce her.
Wanda wanted to go through a natural labor despite the advice that for twins it would be very difficult. She knew she’d most likely need some sort of intervention at some point, but she thought that given her new powers, she might be able to get through most of it without any. She was so into being pregnant, and so connected with it, she wanted that to be the case right until the end.
By the time we got to her induction date, our new nannies had been working for us for nearly a month. They hadn’t been super actively involved with the care of the kids yet. With the ten of us, things like baths, stories, and bedtime were covered. We had maids and cooks, so they didn’t have to clean up or feed them. They’d done a few drop-offs with Happy driving the car and they would help during the morning chaos to get them ready to go, but otherwise, they were mostly not needed and were just getting the feel of the household.
The first real taste of really having full responsibility for taking care of the kids was after breakfast on Wanda’s induction day when we kissed Riley and Pietro goodbye and went down to the medical ward with Wanda.
They’d designed a delivery room just for the three of us because Wanda had very specific things she wanted there, but Tony was adamant that we all get the best medical equipment too. The room had all the medical things needed in case of an emergency. The bed, while you couldn’t tell it to look at it, was an adjustable hospital bed. The functionality of it was hidden in dark purple linen and soft pillows. The whole room could be lit up in harsh hospital lighting, but with the flick of a switch, the room was lit in low soft lights that were placed in sconces on one side of the room. The walls were painted in mint green, with a burgundy feature wall on one side. There was a large clover-shaped bathtub in one corner of the room. A sitting area with couches that would fit all of us. A spot to do yoga or meditation with yoga mats and exercise balls, and around the room were scented candles we could light. Music that Wanda had selected was being piped through the speakers and there was a large screen TV if she wanted to watch anything. All the rest of the medical equipment was hidden behind a secret wall.
It had to be opened up, to begin with, because of the induction process, and Wanda waited impatiently on the bed, strapped up to a fetal heart rate monitor until she was told she was allowed to get up and walk around.
“Just a little white longer, záĭka,” Natasha soothed, running her fingers through Wanda’s hair as Wanda flinched with a contraction.
“I know I should relax while they are still mild,” Wanda reasoned. “But I hate this equipment around me.”
“We’ll get rid of it as soon as we can and you can try the meditation thing you wanted to do,” I said. “But I’m not getting on the floor with you.”
Wanda giggled. “I’m much more pregnant than you are.”
“Clearly,” I teased. “But you have flying powers. I just get to know when you’re in pain.”
“I’ll get on the floor with you,” Sam said. “Don’t worry.”
“And I’ll go through the meditation script we’ve been practicing,” Bucky added.
Tony was pacing up and down by the door, and he poked his head out to see where the doctor was. “Oh good, there you are,” he said, holding the door open and letting Doctor Schroeder in.
She chuckled. “You better not get my patient all wound up, Mister Stark,” she said as she passed him and approached Wanda.
“Yeah, Tony,” Bruce said, patting the couch next to him. “Come and sit down.”
Tony went and sat next to Bruce, who pulled him close with his large hand. Tony couldn’t quite keep still even with that extra comfort. His foot kept tapping on the linoleum floor.
“Okay,” Doctor Schroeder said, looking Wanda over and checking how far she was dilated. “We can put all this away again. Everything looks good. I’m going to want to check on the twins again in a few hours, but we’re going to be in for a long haul. The nurses will keep checking on you and you can call me if you need me. Don’t be scared of using pain medication, Wanda. You aren’t cheating if you need something to help you through it.”
Wanda nodded as Doctor Schroeder removed the equipment from her. “I know,” she said.
“This is going to take a long time. Make sure you all take care of each other and try and relax as much as you can,” she said.
When everything was packed away Bucky offered Wanda his hand and helped her to her feet. “Do you want to try and meditate?”
“Yes, please,” she said. “Can someone dim the lights and light some candles?”
I went and lit the candles as FRIDAY dimmed the lights and Wanda took a seat on the ground with Bucky.
“Take a deep breath in. Focus on how the air fills your lungs…” Bucky began.
Doctor Schroeder hadn’t been kidding when she said we were in for the long haul. Wanda managed to meditate with Bucky for two hours until the doctor returned. She checked how far along she was and put the fetal heart rate monitor again.
Wanda had barely progressed, so she was left alone again and this time the guys all took turns massaging her back while she dozed. After another check-up, we took turns going to get lunch, while Wanda continued to try to sleep. It was another four hours before her contractions got to the point they were painful enough that she couldn’t nap through them. She got up and began using the exercise ball and Clint and Sam took turns doing stretches with her and providing someone to lean on during contractions. She tried doing yoga an hour later and then started pacing the room with Tony.
After thirteen hours of labor the contracts had gotten close together and painful to the point she wasn’t able to do anything while she was having them. She hopped into the bath with Thor. He would rub her back and hold a jet of water against it as she rested her head on the edge of the tub.
After sixteen hours she was waning. Doctor Schroeder would make her get out of the tub every few hours to check how things were progressing and she was starting to take these four or five-minute catnaps between contractions.
“I can’t do it,” she moaned as another hit while the babies were being monitored again.
“Do you want some drugs?” Tony asked. “She can have drugs right.”
“She’s passed the point where she can have an epidural, but she can take something else,” the doctor answered.
“No, no drugs,” Wanda whined. “I don’t want them.”
I patted her forehead with a damp cloth. “You’re not failing them if you need help, honey.”
“I know… I don’t want them though,” she said.
“Okay. It’s okay,” Doctor Shroeder soothed. “It shouldn’t be much longer now.”
Not much longer was two and a half more hours before she reached the transition period. Wanda was exhausted and crying and I could feel her distress passing through from her to me through the threat. “I can’t… I can’t do it. I was wrong.”
“Breathe, záĭka,” Natasha soothed. “You can do it. I know you can.”
“This is the last bit, Wanda,” Bruce said. “Those little girls will be in your arms soon.”
It lasted around half an hour and the nurses stayed with us until it was time to push when Doctor Schroeder was called in too.
“That’s a girl, Wanda,” Doctor Schoeder praised. “When you feel the urge, push down as hard as you can.”
I held one of her hands while Sam held the other and Clint dabbed her forehead with a damp cloth. She was pushing for half an hour until Doctor Schroeder took out the vacuum to help get the first little girl out. When her head was free, Wanda pushed as hard as she could and the rest of her joined us in a messy and noisy entrance.
“Here she is, Wanda,” Doctor Schroeder said, holding up the little girl. She was tiny with pale brown skin and a thatch of curly black hair on the top of her head.
“Look at her, Wanda,” I said. “She’s perfect.”
“Hello, Sarah,” Wanda murmured.
“Which one of you would like to cut the cord?” Doctor Schroeder asked as she clamped it.
“Let me,” Natasha said, stepping forward.
The cord was cut and she was whisked off for a moment to be cleaned up while Doctor Schroeder checked the position of Rose. “Aright, Wanda. She looks good. Right in line to come next. You can keep pushing when you’re ready.”
It seemed to take a moment before the next contraction hit and Wanda started pushing again. She was exhausted and her eyes had begun to flicker pink. It was twenty-three minutes before Rose entered the world. It took a moment for her to make any sound but when she did, it was a loud wailing.
“You did it, Wanda!” I praised leaning down and kissing her forehead. “Look at our daughter.”
“I did it,” she repeated softly, collapsing down on the pillows.
Sam went and cut the cord and as Rose was whisked away to be checked over, Sarah was brought back to us and placed on Wanda’s chest. “There you go, mommy,” the nurse said.
“Okay, Wanda,” Doctor Schroeder said. “I know you’re really tired, but you still need to deliver the placenta.”
She nodded slowly but wouldn’t take her eyes off Sarah. “I can do it.”
“It’s the easy part,” she assured her.
Wanda started to push again, but without the straining that she did with the babies. None of us were paying too much attention to that though. We were all looking at our daughter.
“Look at the little mark the vacuum made,” Clint said. “Poor little pickle.”
“Don’t worry about that,” one of the nurses said. “It’ll go away in no time.”
“Yeah, she’s here,” Steve said. “That’s the important part.”
As Doctor Schroeder took the placenta away the nurses weaved in and out of our group, fussing over Wanda and the babies. Wanda tried breastfeeding them, but she was extremely exhausted and it didn’t last long.
A nurse approached with some toast and juice for Wanda. “You must be starving now.”
She smiled and nodded slowly. “And tired.”
“Have something to eat, and moms and dads, quickly have a go holding the twins. They’re going to need to go into the incubator soon. Then we’ll take you to your room to sleep.”
“Me first,” I said, taking Rose from her.
“Hey!” Sam argued. “I helped make her.”
“You can hold Sarah,” I said and poked out my tongue at him.
He chuckled and picked the tiny little bundle up. “Hey there, little one,” he whispered.
“I cannot believe you did this with no drugs, Wanda,” I said. “You’re definitely a superhero.”
She shook her head. “I was scared,” she admitted. “With the amount people have messed with my head. I didn’t want to not feel in control.”
“The epidural doesn’t do that though,” I said.
“I know… but it’s a huge needle,” she said.
“Oh honey,” I said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “It’s all done now.”
“Yeah,” Clint said. “Now it’s just sleepless nights and diaper changes.”
“Alright, Elise, quit hogging that baby,” Natasha said, coming and taking Rose from me.
Wanda hummed and relaxed back into the pillow. “Hey, sweetheart,” Steve said to her gently. “Do you want me to help you to the shower? Then we’ll get you to your room.”
She nodded slowly and Steve helped her to her feet.
“Two down, two to go,” Bruce said, as Sam placed Sarah into his hand.
Natasha let out a strained laugh. “Let’s not hurry them along too fast, Bruce,” she said. “I’m in no rush to go through any of that.”
// NEXT
#the avengers#steve rogers#bucky barnes#tony stark#natasha romanoff#bruce banner#clint barton#wanda maximoff#sam wilson#avengers fanfic#avengers x oc#steve rogers x oc#bucky barnes x oc#tony stark x oc#stucky#clintasha#natasha romanoff x oc#wanda maximoff x oc#clint barton x oc#bruce banner x oc#sam wilson x oc#all caps#thor x oc#thor#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#pregnancy#the tower
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Enlightenment (short story)
For a long time I wanted to pack up and leave. Sell my car, quit my job, and travel the world with whatever I could carry on my back. Somehow I would find myself in China where I would shave my head, don the traditional robes and pray in tune with my bald-headed brothers. Or India where I would embrace spirituality and practice yoga, meditating amongst the best gurus. But then there’s Europe, the home of the Age of Enlightenment.
But, was it really enlightenment I was looking for?
Because, as much as the thought crossed my mind, the idea terrified me. The thought of travelling the world alone with limited resources, stepping into the unknown, it made me wonder how people did it. What if I died alone in a hotel room? What if I was found dead on the streets? What if I just disappeared?
Maybe it wasn’t enlightenment I was searching for, maybe it was simply an escape route. An escape from the system. A system which secures us, tight. Yet, despite being trapped we live in fear, fear of falling from the system, of missing a beat and being cut out of the cycle, to be left with nothing. Nothingness is the void where the unknown lies. Where will we sleep? What will we eat? How will we live? We cannot escape the system. Well, people like us at least. Those who are slaves to the system, who work to the bone for the minimum wage in order to scrape by and pay rent at the end of the month. Scanning your barcodes, cleaning your corridors, taking your orders. We are the ones under the thumb of the one percent. Victims of the pay gap, pounders of the glass ceiling, children of technology.
The part of my being that searches this escape, this mad hunt for enlightenment tells me to suck it up. People die every second. People are dying on the streets from starvation brought on by poverty whilst others are necking pills that will send them into eternal slumber, too tired to keep on living. In one part of the world there are those fighting for life, in another there are those fighting to escape it.
The world is fucked up.
So, maybe enlightenment wasn’t what I was looking for. I mean what would enlightenment mean? Would I find the answers to life’s questions? Would I find a way to stop wars and end world poverty? You find enlightenment then what? You discover why the world exists and why we’ve been put on it for what purpose? To die in peace? No, because who knows what’s next? Will we just stop existing, like turning off the TV or is there something more, like switching channels?
Who knows, man?
I think what humans really want is something other than enlightenment. We want to be free. What of exactly? Well, that varies. In general, however, of the shackles that bind us. The bonds that ground us and keep us bound to this earth. To cut those bonds is to be free, but this comes at a price as we lose the things worth living for. We are left to simply drift into the endless void.
So, where does this leave us?
We want freedom yet fear the uncertainty that comes with it. Uncertainty could lead to death. When we master the fear of death, maybe we can be free.
Right now, I stand at its borders.
A strange rush comes with this.
Effectively, Death is always lurking at our shoulders. His cold fingers trace their way down our spine from time to time, sending shivers through our bodies. His breath cold on our necks making the hairs on our arms stand on end. When our eyes grow heavy with sleep and we suddenly feel ourselves falling, jolting our bodies awake before drifting off again, that is Death testing us. Death likes to check in every now and again.
Normally Death is lurking in the background out of sight, shrouded by the shadows which fall in corners or which lie beneath trees until his hand stretches upwards to touch their green leaves, turning them to deep ambers and reds before letting them fall to the ground, brown and crisp.
However, now I am above Death. I look down on Him. Below, waves crash against rocks, the heavy whoosh is Death cooing, mocking me. The grey skies have turned the waters dark and uninviting. I watch the waves move back and forth in a somewhat gentle motion until rising up high and unfurling in a torrent against the cliff side, white salt spray raining upwards.
When I was a child I never liked the ocean. I found it daunting. I was scared that it would drag me away and I would be lost. It wasn’t the thought of drowning that scared me. The ocean was huge, unending and filled with mystery. The total vastness of the ocean is what terrified me. So vast it almost made me feel claustrophobic, like there was a weight on my chest. I felt so small stood on the ocean’s shore, insignificant.
I take a drag on my cigarette. I breathe in deeply and sigh the smoke out of my mouth and watch it drift away in the breeze. Oh, sweet nicotine, my one vice. I realize I’m smoking outdoors and there are no bins nearby to chuck my butt in. Now, I’m not the type of person to go flicking fag ends into the sea, after all cigarette butts are a huge pollutant and we don’t want to upset Mother Nature unnecessarily. Humans have done enough as it is. Instead, I stub the end out on the sole of my boot and flick the end over my shoulder. Out of sight out of mind.
I dust off my hands and take a step closer towards the cliff edge. As I look over the edge down towards the dark waves I crack my knuckles nonchalantly. Still looking down I remove my denim jacket and drop it to my side. I then unlace my boots and kick them to the other side. I am left standing in a pair of blue skinny jeans and a white tank top. I wonder whether to remove them as well and decide against it. Death could be a perv.
The view is dizzying, but I know it will be over soon. I suck in my breath, close my eyes and taking a step I allow myself to fall from the cliff’s edge. My stomach drops. I slip away, free falling faster than I could have imagined. For a moment I am falling, the air whips my skin and then suddenly my body is consumed. The shock of the cold forces my eyes open.
I float weightlessly in this dark chasm. The waves carry my body as I stare up towards the top of the water which glistens with silver sparkles. The darkness is expanse and I struggle to catch my bearings. Yet, where was there for me to go? Until my body hits something hard and pain shoots through my body and I realise the waves have carried me back towards the bottom of the cliff. My body spirals and the air is knocked out of my chest. Salt water fills my mouth, burning my throat before filling my lungs. I can no longer breathe. A strange sensation flutters through my chest. Not panic, nor fear.
My already darkened vision begins to blur, yet before my eyes close the shadows of the waves appear to blacken and shift in new motions like the shadow of the Reaper’s cape. My body feels cold. Bubbles escape from my mouth and drift upwards, carrying my final breaths with them.
I close my eyes and my world turns to black.
Hello, Death.
*
My body is screaming. I groan in pain. Waves wash against my feet and my mouth tastes like the ocean. I cough and water spills from between my lips. I roll onto my left side and spit out the water that is left in my mouth, dribbling onto the wet sand. I open my burning eyes. I watch the excess water soak and bubble into the sand before a wave washes in and then out again, pulling grains of sand in tiny streams. Slowly my thoughts come together and I realise I am lying on the beach with burning insides and what feels like a dislocated shoulder.
I am wet, cold and in pain. I am, however, not dead.
With my left hand I push myself up and grimace as pain shoots through me. My right arm hangs limply at my side. Shit. That shoulder won’t be popping back into place by itself anytime soon. Knowing what’s coming I grit my teeth. Sitting up in the wet sand, with my left arm I clutch my black and bloody right and grit my teeth hard, my neck and jaw straining. I brace myself before forcing my shoulder back into place. The sound of my bones and joints popping against each other makes my eyes roll back and I throw up runny liquid and more salt water to my side which is soon washed away. I cough and splutter before easing myself slowly down flat onto my back. As well as the dislocation it feels like two of my ribs are broken, but there is not much I can do about them.
I stare up at the grey sky. It is still light and the sun is hidden by clouds. I can’t have been out that long. Steadily I turn my head to my right. In the distance I can see the cliff from which I jumped off of. I have been washed some distance down the beach and realise it will take me some time to make it back up to the cliff top to retrieve my belongings, especially in my current state.
My bones continue to crack and pop as they shift back into place, slowly fusing themselves back together. I stretch my arms over head and my body cracks like a glow stick- it’s painful, but it is beginning to slowly subside. I take a couple of moments before sitting up again, legs still spread out in front of me. My hair is soaked and hangs over my face in sandy waves. I pat my pockets and hear a concerning squelch from my soaked though jeans. From my pocket I pull out the remnants of a box of cigarettes. I dangle the soggy mess despairingly before dropping them onto the sand between my legs. I really needed to smoke.
Pressing my palms into the soft sand I push myself up to standing, first bending over, supporting myself with my hands on my thighs and then standing up straight, hands on my hips, breathing heavily. Waves continue to wash in as the tide approaches. I squint and grimace as I look around the beach to see that it is still deserted. Not many people head this far down the coastline, especially in this weather. I look over towards the cliff where my boots and jacket wait for me.
I begin to stumble my way back towards the cliff, carrying my aching body. I feel light, as though I am not truly here- I am still floating somewhere, but the pain weighs by body down, making me clumsy. My repairing arm aches and burns and I clutch it to my side. The sea breeze blows my hair across my face and I try to knock it away but it is no use. I carry on stumbling with my vision obscured by damp curls. As if walking on sand wasn’t hard enough already. I hate sand, the way it moves underfoot making us unsteady, each step needing added force behind it.
When I finally reach the top of the cliff again I’m out of breath, but the pain in my body has dulled to a numb ache. All my belongings are still on the ground where I had left them. I go to my jacket first, searching my pockets I find a second packet of fags and a lighter, immediately pulling a single cigarette out and placing it between my lips. I flick my lighter frantically until a small flame appears and lights up the end. I hold the fag between my fingers and inhale deeply. There’s something so satisfying about that first inhalation and not just because it instantly satiates the nicotine need, but there’s something oddly attractive about it. Before I took up smoking I would huddle close to smokers, slyly breathing in their second hand smoke, watching their hands and their lips. Someone once told me that smoking wasn’t attractive. However, I feel like this only applies to a certain type of person, or at least there exists a certain type of person who can make smoking look attractive. In my mind, I hope I am one of those people.
I let my cigarette hang from my mouth, puffing smoke. The sky has turned a soft candyfloss pink, it’s getting late. Why can’t I just set with the sun over the horizon?
My clothes are still slightly damp but the walk and the air has dried them of slightly. I brush some of the sand off my body before pulling my jacket on. My socks are still covered, so I pull them off with a stretchy squelching and bundle them up into my pocket before pulling on my boots. I check over the rest of my clothes for blood- it’s there, soaked in and salty. Holding my cigarette out I rub my eyes, flick some ash, take a puff. What does it matter? There’s no one around to judge. Well, not yet anyway.
I feel like I should head home, tired from all the excitement.
(This is a short story I wrote. Please do not share elsewhere. Also, hi thank you if you made it this far.)
#short story#creative writing#literary fiction#fiction#my writing#writing#writers on tumblr#spilled ink
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BBRae Week 2020
Author's Notes: It's been a while since there was a legitimate BBRae Week. I'm glad some kind members of the fandom created their own week. I will not be able to write something for every day, but I am happy to be participating this year. Each ficlet is a stand-alone story. I used both prompts for each day, as a personal challenge. Please remember to leave a review if you liked what you read. Enjoy!
Day 1 - Hot/Realization
There were not many ideal places around the tower to perform her usual mediation. Her room was too stuffy and too familiar. While she was comfortable in her solidarity space, it was easy for her mind to wander. Thinking of the dirty clothes on her floor that need to be washed or that new book tempting her for her bookshelf. She needed a place where her mind could stay committed to its task.
That was one of the reasons why she had chosen the roof as her primary meditation spot. Weather permitting, she was able to relax under the calming sound of the ocean waves and there was little outside that would distract her. That is what she was expecting anyway.
To her surprise, she found the roof to be already occupied on this warm summer morning. Two thin mats, brightly colored red and purple, were laid out near the edge of the t-shaped building. Raven felt like she was a living introduction to a joke. Why did the raven walk in on an alien princess and green shapeshifter? It was an odd sight, to say the least. One she was unaccustomed to.
Starfire was on her hands and feet, her head pointed down with her rear end pointed up toward the sky. Her long apple-colored hair fell in her face, blocking Raven from her view. Adjacent to the golden girl was a familiar pup with jade, shaggy fur, and darker green spots. The dog mimicked the girl at his side the best he could. His head lay flat on his own mat and is back arched inward. His tail wagged happily in the air.
The canine was the first to notice their new guest and gave a welcoming bark. Starfire turned her head and blew back her cascading hair. Her emerald eyes shone merrily as she spotted her friend.
"Raven!" She greeted with excitement in her voice. "Have you come to join us in the yoga?"
The plum-haired girl stared curiously at the pair for a moment. "Is that what this is?" She questioned back.
The dog gave out another bark before quickly morphing into her other teammate. "We were doing downward dog. Get it? Downward dog." The green boy laughed at his own joke and earned a smile from his partner.
"I have found the yoga to be quite relaxing as well as being a useful form of exercise," Starfire explained. "I have been wanting someone to join me and Beast Boy has volunteered."
Raven eyed the boy curiously. "You want to do yoga?"
The shapeshifter flashed her a grin and a wink. "Gotta keep these muscles looking fresh for the ladies." He teased as he held up his right arm and flexed his bicep. "Besides, it's actually pretty relaxing."
Raven raised an eyebrow at that. "Relaxing?"
"Yeah, it's super chill." He shrugged.
The empath rolled her eyes at his description of their pass time. Glancing around the top of their tower, she realized how cramped the area had become. Anxiously, she turned to the pair. "Right. Well how much longer will you two be?"
Beast Boy cocked his head to the side with a questioning look. "Why do you ask?"
"This is where I have my morning meditation." She explained as if it weren't obvious.
"Oh, right! I knew that." The changeling proclaimed.
"Raven, you are most welcome to mediate here while we continue the yoga."
Raven looked to Starfire, her face showing a hint of apprehension. "Thank you, Starfire, but I prefer to meditate without any...distractions."
"Oh we won't distract ya, Rae!" Said Beast Boy.
"Yes, we are most quiet and very focused," Starfire added.
There was a slight pause as the cloaked girl mulled it over.
"Alright, I suppose I can try." She conceded. "But," she added as she narrowed her eyes at the two, "I'll need silence."
The pair nodded enthusiastically. "Don't worry Rae, you won't hear a peep out of us! We'll be total distraction-free."
Raven did not quite buy that, but she believed they would at least try, so she gave in. She went off to the side, choosing a spot furthest away from them. As she sat, Indian-style, on the roof, her friends took on their own positions. They stood straight up on their mats, their backs straight and feet pushed together, hands at their sides. The pose did not seem like anything from yoga, but they were quiet and that was all Raven cared about.
Closing her eyes, Raven took in a deep breath through her nose and blew out a long stream of air through her mouth. She repeated the process, breathing in and out slowly. She focused on the rise and fall of her chest and felt the tension in her shoulders fade as she began to relax. With her head cleared, she decided to take a quick peek at her friends. She was surprised by their ability to stay so quiet for her. It was unusual for the loudest pair on Titans.
Opening just one eye, she peered in their direction. What caught her eye made her freeze. With where she had chosen to sit, she had positioned herself closest to Beast Boy, gaining a full view of the Changeling. At that moment, he was back in all fours again. Only this time, he remained in his human form. His hands were laid out in front of him while his feet were tucked under him. His back was arched and his hips were upward. He was back in downward-facing dog.
It was an uncomfortable position. The boy was slightly sweating as he worked to hold the position, but it was just as uncomfortable for his observer, for she got a great sight of his butt. Perfectly round and rightly plump, his rear end pointed right at her. He was not looking at her, thank goodness because she did not think she could hide the deep blush that now stained her cheeks. The worst part of it, and perhaps the real reason her face was now beet red, was the scandalous first thought that had crossed her mind.
"Beast Boy has a nice butt."
She aborted that train of thought as quickly as it came. Her teammate's...anatomy...was not an appropriate topic for today or any other day. She needed to focus on her breathing, not on the boy in front of her. But before she could close her eyes once more, Beast Boy shifted into a new pose. This time, he stood up with his arms spread out like wings. His feet were also separated, with his left foot stretched out and his right foot in front of him. His right leg was bent at an angle. Raven did not know the name of the pose, but she could easily spot the muscles rippling along his back.
"That's new." She thought as she studied his backside. She could not recall her teammate being so toned. And the spandex suit he wore made every muscle in his back, shoulders, legs, and arms pop out.
With this new visualization, Raven was beginning to come to a realization. Beast Boy...was hot.
#teen titans#bbrae#bbrae for may#beast boy#raven#gar logan#garfield logan#rachel roth#garrae#bbrae week 2020#fanfics
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6 yoga poses for stress relief
A regular yoga exercise technique helps to manage and ease stress but occasionally, despite our attempts to organise as well as control it, life takes control of and we only have a few minutes to spare.
First of all, annoying though it might be, try to bear in mind yoga is as much concerning adaptability of the mind as it is regarding the body, and fighting realities will only exacerbate your stress and anxiety levels.
Know that it does not matter whether the moment you invest connecting to yourself is an hour and a fifty percent or five minutes, it's the high quality of your method that counts.
Here are 6 yoga exercise postures for you to attempt, either together or independently, that might assist you to take advantage of that place where your serenity stays. Try as well as remain in each present for 3 - 5 mins, however always pay attention to your body as well as if you require ahead out earlier, do. These presents may provide a stretch to areas of your body that really feel stressful or limited but bear in mind, this is not concerning extending or pressing, it's about release, enabling yourself to be literally sustained yet likewise letting go of the shoulds and necessities as well as what ifs and so ...
So also if you only have a few mins, make them count, breathe deeply, attract inwards as well as completely absorb on your own in the here and now moment ...
1. Reclined Butterfly present with bolster
Why: This is my much-loved present when I'm really feeling out of kilter. Literally, it gives a gentle stretch for the internal upper legs, hips and also fronts of the shoulders and also a wonderful opening for the chest area/ heart area - a place which has a tendency to get literally restricted while we're operating at a workdesk, driving, texting, examining, etc. Psychologically, if we're having a challenging time in our individual lives, or if we've dealt with a cough or cool, this location can additionally really feel limited and 'shut down'.
This pose allows optimal opening for the breath to move with the diaphragm and also spending a couple of minutes in this gesture of total physical openness invites the mind to follow suit.
How: Lie back on a boost or a pair of company folded up coverings/ cushions with your base on the floor as well as the edge of the bolster at the little of your back. Place the feet flat on the flooring with the internal edge of the feet with each other, gently allow your thighs fall open so that the soles of the feet are touching as well as lay back along the size of the assistance. If this positions way too much strain on the groin area or internal thighs, sustain the knees with a pair of blocks or some publications. Move the arms so they're away from the body and transform the hands upwards. Put your shoulder blades into the back, release your shoulders and allow your arm joints feel heavy. Feel exactly how your body is supported, the opening in your heart area, the fluctuate of your breath ...
2. Sustained child's posture with bolster
Why: This is a wonderful, nurturing, relaxing pose - an area to rest during a more energetic yoga exercise method yet likewise a place to remain in its own right - a shell-shaped sanctuary, if you will. Where reclined Butterfly pose opens up area in the front of the body for breath to move more openly, sustained child's posture can aid to extend as well as stretch the back as well as the back body whilst additionally relieving compression in the lower back. It can likewise help to increase understanding of back-body breathing.
How: Lay a bolster, cushions/ blankets in front of you and curtain the size of your body over the increased support with your knees on either side. Lay your forearms on the flooring and turn your head to hinge on one side. Ensure your knees and also neck are comfortable as well as remember to turn your head to the various other side, half way via your time in this present. Feel your breath spreading out across the back of the body. Feel this growth as you breathe in, the contraction as you breathe out ...
3. Seated reflection with hands on heart
Why: Positioning your hands - hand on palm - on your heart is an attractive, immediate way to get in touch with yourself.
Feeling the warm touch of the hand straight on the skin of your heart space is supporting and is a charming means to tune right into how you are really feeling.
Feeling the surge and loss of the chest location concentrates understanding onto the breath and progressively you might feel it start to reduce down. From a physical perspective, resting cross-legged opens up the hips, groin, as well as outer thigh muscular tissues. It likewise strengthens the back and stretches the knees as well as ankles.
How: Come right into a seated placement with your legs went across. If you feel pain in the knees or you are locating your back is rounding to ensure that you're falling down in the chest, remain on a boost or a block. Sit in a chair. Place one palm at the centre of the chest and also the other ahead and also close your eyes. Feel the base of the spine rooting down and also the crown of the head lifting up, unwind your face, shoulders as well as tummy. Feel the wave of breath move from the belly towards the breast and spread throughout the collar bones ...
5. Legs up the Wall pose
Why: This present is an instantaneous refreshment for the legs - specifically if you have actually been on your feet all day - and my go-to present if I'm having a hard time to reach rest. As it's an inversion it brings great deals of advantages such as boosting your flow and lymph flow. You can practise it with the hips a little far from the wall surface and also with your feet together or a little apart - the most important thing is that your legs and feet are relaxed.
How: It may really feel a little complicated obtaining right into this pose it's worth it! Beginning seated on the flooring with your hip as well as upper leg near to the wall, then bend your knees, slide your legs around and also up the wall surface and also run your lower closer to it to ensure that you're resting on your back. The arms can encompass the side, a little far from the body, hands encountering upwards, or you can position the palms onto the reduced belly.
Feel the stress drain away from the legs, really feel the power attract down and ground you right into the earth, really feel the breath in the belly and also start to allow go ...
6. Dangling pose
Why: In this yin yoga exercise position the objective right here is to be loosened and to allow go of all effort. Dangling carefully stretches the lower spinal column, loosens up the hamstrings a little and strengthens the quadriceps. Really feel the spine elongating from the hips, as if your body is hanging from a washing line.
Think of the head like piece fruit from a tree. Picture the thoughts draining pipes out from the crown of your head and into the earth.
How: Begin with the feet hip-width apart and with the weight evenly dispersed through the soles of your feet, bend your knees and fold onward. If you have any pain in the lower back, flex your knees well and also rest your elbow joints on your knees, if the reduced back feels ok, maintain the knees somewhat curved and also grip the joints or allow the hands hinge on the floor (it behaves to turn the hands up, fingertips transforming inwards) Permit your neck to soften, your head to really feel hefty and also your arms to be limp. Involve on your own in the circulation of the breath and feel the stress recede ...
6. Savasana with a bolster
Why: Savasana - traditionally the pose that knits every little thing with each other at the end of our yoga exercise class - but an additional remarkable posture by itself to allow our whole body feel its link with the earth as well as the existence in Being, rather than the thrill of Doing. The physical advantages of Savasana are manifold and consist of decreased high blood pressure, lowered heart price, reduced price of respiration and also decreased muscle mass tension yet it's the mental as well as psychological benefits that makes Savasana one of one of the most vital yoga presents of all.
How: Remain on the floor with legs bent and also slide a bolster or rolled up coverings beneath your knees (this takes the weight off your hips as well as provides launch for the lower back and also back vertebrae). Gently reduced your top body onto the flooring and also allow your arms remainder a little away from your body, hands encountering upwards. Offer your weight to the floor, instead than pressing the floor away. Attract your focus inwards as well as bring your recognition deep inside.
Try and also notification where one assumed ends and the various other begins. Look for the area, like the stops briefly in between your breath. Know that these few minutes of simply Being may be the kindest thing you can do on your own all day.
A word of note:
When it's time ahead out of the posture, do it gradually. Not just due to the fact that it's much safer for your body, but additionally much more pleasing for your mind. Attempt and also take the sense of convenience and also visibility that you have actually grown on the mat with you off the mat and into your life.
If you enjoyed this artice, you could also such as 6 yoga poses to help you go to sleep as well as Tension monitoring suggestions.
EkhartYoga members may like to try the adhering to video clips:
De-stress on your own with Esther Ekhart
Short wonderful stress-reducing stretches with Irina Verwer
Meditation after a difficult day with Esther Teule
Release your deep muscles with our Deep Launch program
A 3 week directed yoga exercise program where we concentrate on releasing stress within the mind as well as the muscular tissues and also fascia/connective tissues of the body consisting of the QL muscle. With three classes a week including Hatha, Yin and also Yoga Nidra. Most likely to programme.
#bikram yoga#Hatha Yoga#hot yoga#meditation#pilates#vinyasa yoga#yin yoga#yoga#yoga for beginners#yoga nidra#yoga poses
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Book 2: Air | Chapter 6: Kismet
With the events of Gaoling behind her, and with her connection to her past lives reestablished, Shinza finally had time to focus solely on her airbending. Like her breathing, meditation, and yoga exercises, bending the air also came easily to her, due to her “air nomad’s spirit,” as Lo Sang said. Shinza came to each lesson with a clear head and a free spirit; during lessons and sparring matches, as her instructor had taught her, she constantly sought the path of least resistance, readily changing direction at a moment’s notice. She’d had little trouble with the gates exercise, and the obstacle course, though tough even for more experienced airbenders, didn’t seem like much of a feat to Shinza, who nimbly dodged the sandbags Jinora and Lo Sang dropped on her, ziplined herself down a long rope with the help of airbending, and climbed the rock face without a second thought as to the vast distance between her and the base of the mountain. Airball, however, was a different story.
“Okay, how about this?” Lo Sang called from halfway down the court, lithely hopping from post to post as if they were stepping stones set in the ground. “You beat me, and I’ll nominate you for the mastery test.”
Shinza paused, balancing on the two-foot wooden post in front of her goal. In her left hand spun the airball, driven by the current she produced. She knew she was good at airbending, and she’d been practicing a move she’d created on her own, knowing she wouldn’t have time to master all thirty-six forms. But she’d never been an athlete, and Lo Sang had been regularly kicking her ass on the court for weeks; she wasn’t sure this time would be any different. Or maybe, with the mastery test as motivation, she’d finally hold her own. “Okay, you’re on!”
Without warning, she put her whole body weight behind the airball, sending it spinning toward Lo Sang’s goal at the other end of the court. The young one leapt upward, as if she’d been born in the sky, and batted the ball with ease back toward Shinza without even touching it, and with twice as much velocity. On a ten-cent piece, Shinza maneuvered herself in front of the ball just before it could make it past her right shoulder, making a full turn and launching the ball back.
“The flourish was a little unnecessa--!” Lo Sang stopped short as the ball sailed over her head and through the goal, leaving the wooden middle spinning.
Shinza’s jaw dropped. Then she burst into a grin. “I believe that’s 1-0!”
Lo Sang was busy picking up her jaw. “You distracted me!” she hollered. “Not fair. Try again.”
“It absolutely was fair,” Shinza chuckled. “Admit it. You weren’t ready and I got you.”
“Okay, fine,” Lo Sang relented, retrieving the ball and tossing it weightlessly between her hands. “Best two out of three.”
Shinza’s dark brows arched. “You said if I beat you, you’d nominate me.”
Lo Sang’s eyes narrowed visibly from down the court. “Humor me,” she said. “It could have been a fluke. Admit that, grandma.”
Shinza nodded. “Okay then. Bring it on!” She gestured for Lo Sang to give it her best shot.
And she did. The ball came hurtling toward Shinza nearly faster than she could think to maneuver; but instinct took over, guiding Shinza to backbend over toward her post. By the time she righted herself, the ball was at face-level. With a deep breath and a powerful gust of wind, she sent back what Lo Sang had doled out. The young one leapt as high and fast as she could, but the ball still thunked into the goal, and the middle spun again.
Shinza shrieked in delight, surprising both of them.
“Wow,” Lo Sang muttered, briefly taken over by defeat, but then remembering the point of it all. Shinza had beaten her more than once; two out of three, as she’d prescribed. She was ready for the mastery test. She hopped weightlessly from post to post until she reached Shinza’s end. “Congratulations,” she smirked. “You ready to be tested?”
Before their evening meal, they took a walk along the northern face of the mountain, along the way passing the cliffside where Shinza had first gone into the Avatar state - where she’d learned the truth about her abilities. Shinza paused and put her hand up to the rock face. Lo Sang readied herself to comfort her, but she sensed a resolve in her as she took her hand away.
“How are you feeling?” Lo Sang inquired as they continued to the pond - a tranquil body of clear, cool water, whose bank backed up to the base of the temple.
“I’m okay,” Shinza said honestly. “I’ve learned a lot here - so much more than I thought I would. I’m feeling good about what’s next.” She slipped down the shallow stairs, removing her boots and rolling up her pants. Sticking her pale feet in the water, she bent over to gaze into the water, at the meticulously-placed tiles that made up the bottom of the pond.
Lo Sang did the same, leaving her small boots next to Shinza’s and coming to sit beside her. The breeze rustled a nearby tree which shed several leaves into the pond. A thought sat on the tip of her tongue, but she said nothing.
“What?” Shinza inquired, as if reading her mind.
Lo Sang met her gaze for half a second and then looked away, out into the expanse of mountains miles off in the distance. “Nothing. It’s… I don’t want to say.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Shinza replied softly. “But I won’t tell anyone if you do.”
Lo Sang shifted just a millimeter closer. “I’m just going to miss you, is all,” she confessed. “It’s not right for a teacher to have become so attached to a student - especially one whose sole duty is to leave and do great things. It goes against everything I was taught.”
Shinza cast her warm red-brown gaze down at her young teacher. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” she soothed. “How do you find the motivation to teach, or care, if you don’t get attached?”
Lo Sang smiled sadly, but didn’t say anything for a while. Shinza disturbed the water with her feet, stretching her toes. A few moments passed, and Lo Sang spoke again. “Do you have siblings?”
“No,” Shinza replied, squinting as she tried to follow Lo Sang’s train of thought. The air nomads historically hadn’t assigned much value to the notion of blood relations the way the rest of the world had, and for good reason. “I’m an only child. Why?”
Lo Sang leaned forward and gazed at her own rippling reflection in the water - snowy hair, darting grey eyes. “I don’t know,” she replied. “We don’t have siblings or parents in the temples - the nuns raise us. And that’s okay, because we’re one big family in a way. Jinora is technically my great-grandmother, but it doesn’t really matter. She’s kind of everyone’s great-grandmother. But sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to have a sister, you know? A sister who was just mine.”
Shinza softened, drawing the young one in toward her with a sweep of her arm.
“I was always happy being an only child,” she admitted. “I never wished I had siblings. But now I see what I missed out on. If I’d had a sister, I would hope she’d be just like you.”
Lo Sang looked up at her with a grin. “Really?”
“Well, yeah. You’re brilliant, calm, poised; you’re a master airbender, teaching the avatar, and you’re not even ten years old. You’re kind and compassionate… annoying as can be, but amazing. And you know what else? You’re Jinora’s great-granddaughter, and I was once Avatar Aang. So... in some way, I think we are sisters.”
Lo Sang hugged Shinza as tight around the middle as she could.
The test came the next morning - sooner than Shinza had expected. But since she felt she was ready, the elders didn’t see a reason not to proceed right away. Lo Sang helped Shinza tie the sash around her ceremonial tunic, crouching low to straighten the seams, even though she knew they’d get messed up again in just a few moments. “Are you nervous?”
Shinza snorted. “I think you’re more nervous than I am.”
Lo Sang straightened up tall. “I am not.”
“Whatever you say,” she replied with a smirk, leaning her head back and gathering all her shiny black locks into a top knot. To Lo Sang’s reflection in the mirror, she said, “I’m feeling okay. I have a handle on my form - I think you’ll really like it.”
Shinza felt fortunate to feel so at ease; she wasn’t sure she could endure the same feeling she’d had just before and after her firebending test.
Lo Sang gave a pleased smile, her flickering gaze lingering on her student, who she knew would make her proud. Then she ducked out of the dressing room, peeking her head back in a moment later. “They’re ready for you.”
She took one final cleansing breath, deliberately avoiding looking in the mirror so that she could slide into the state of mind she’d need to pass the test. Outside the room, the council of elders had taken their places in the main courtyard; Jinora sat in the middle of a long bench, flanked by two others on each side. Lo Sang had settled on the ground, cross-legged, at Jinora’s feet.
Shinza bowed deeply to the council.
“Avatar Shinza,” Jinora greeted, her voice surprisingly loud and authoritative. “We gather to judge you on your airbending mastery. Given that you have been here for less time than it takes to master the thirty-six forms, I assume you’ve mastered the basics and perfected a form of your own?”
“Yes, Master Jinora,” Shinza replied.
“Begin then, child.”
Shinza inclined her head again and began. She ran through a number of forms, seemingly random in order, but strung together seamlessly in a carefully choreographed performance. Her breathing remained steady, and amid the constant spinning, she had lost sight of the panel - she was alone with her bending, having found freedom within the space she occupied. Then, at last, she closed out with a circling of her arms to seal her energy.
Three of the council members applauded, but the rest remained still, including Jinora. “Proceed with your new form.”
“I need an assistant,” Shinza announced. “Master Lo Sang, would you please?”
Intrigued, Lo Sang puffed herself to her feet and sprinted toward Shinza, who gestured for her to move a couple yards away. “Attack me,” Shinza instructed.
Lo Sang spun nimbly on her little feet once, twice, three times, stopping with precision and thrusting the palms of her hands forward, generating a cannon-like gust of wind that tore toward Shinza.
With a rapid twisting motion of her arms, Shinza solidified the air in front of her, creating an invisible wall that dispelled Lo Sang’s cannon-gust; behind the wall, not a hair on Shinza’s head moved.
Lo Sang broke into a wide grin. Then she sprinted toward the wall, stopping short and holding out her hand. She brushed her fingers against it, relishing the feel - like touching breath. It was invisible, soft, and yet an incredible defensive technique.
“How you you find, Master Lo Sang?” Jinora inquired.
Dutifully, Lo Sang turned to the council, hands behind her back and standing up proud and tall. “The wall holds. I find my student fully understands the philosophy of airbending and integrates it into her practice. She has mastered her basics, and she has created a form that embodies the doctrine of our Air Nomad ancestors and of our Air Nation: defense first.”
Jinora let her detached facade fall, and her eyes crinkled as she smiled. “Then, the Avatar passes the mastery test. Excellent work, both of you.”
Lo Sang hollered and rocketed into the air, twisting in elation and floating back down to the ground. “You did it!”
“I told you I’d make you proud,” Shinza murmured. Lo Sang looked up, cupping her hand around her mouth and standing on her tiptoes to whisper something to Shinza, who nodded.
Lo Sang took a running start and hopped onto her air skates; Shinza produced a solid panel of air, the shape of which was unknown to the council until Lo Sang leapt up onto it, balancing on what seemed to be a ledge. Then she fell forward, skating smoothly down a curve and back up a symmetrical curve on the other side, coming to perch on the opposite ledge. She repeated the motion over and over again, clearly tickled. Shinza herself giggled, casting a glance at the council, who all seemed to be enjoying the moment too.
At last, as the sun began to set, the council disbanded. Shinza headed toward the dining hall herself, but Lo Sang stopped her.
“When I became a master, I got a whole ceremony and my tattoos,” she said. “But those things are only for Air Nation natives.”
Shinza shrugged. “It’s okay. I don’t need a fancy commemoration or anything. I didn’t get anything special when I passed my firebending test, either.”
“But still,” Lo Sang protested softly. “You deserve a little something special. You have to master four elements, after all.”
Unsure where Lo Sang was going with this, Shinza cocked her head.
“Kneel,” Lo Sang instructed, mimicking her best authoritative-Jinora voice. “Please.”
Shinza obeyed. Lo Sang lifted her index finger to the Avatar’s forehead and lovingly, deliberately traced the outline of an arrow on her brow. Then she took her hands and held them out, palms down, tracing a long path down her arms that terminated in an arrow on the back of each palm. Lastly, she gestured for Shinza to stand. She traced lines down her legs, ending with arrows on the tops of her feet.
“There,” Lo Sang said as she stood. “I think that’s better, don’t you?”
Shinza bit her lip to stop it from quivering, then slipped her arm around the young girl’s shoulders. “You’re the best.”
Lo Sang grinned and curled her arm around Shinza’s waist. Together, they made their way to the dining hall. “That’s what sisters are for.”
At sunrise the next morning, the temple’s congregation gathered at the courtyard to see Shinza off. It had been a long nine months, and yet it seemed to her like just yesterday, she had arrived here to this same scene; except now, the faces of the strangers who had first greeted her were familiar to her. Shinza had been allowed to keep the robes she’d worn to her test - a parting gift, Jinora had called it. She’d been keenly aware of the fact that Shinza’s Fire Nation clothes, the ones she’d worn to visit her family, had been irreparably damaged in Gaoling.
Shinza’s stomach knotted. She felt readier than she thought she would; now that the link to her past lives had been restored, she felt stronger and more confident than ever. But leaving Lo Sang and Jinora, after all they’d been through together, was bittersweet.
Lo Sang embraced Shinza one last time. Her heart melted when she heard little sniffs.
“We’ll see each other again,” Shinza whispered, rubbing her back.
Lo Sang replied in her high, sweet voice, “I know.” Then she stood tall, letting the wind rustle the fine white hairs that framed her face, and moved aside so that Jinora could move in.
The elder held the Avatar at arms’ length, studying her seemingly against an invisible portrait of who she’d been when she first arrived. “My dear, it has been a true honor,” she said, and then gathered Shinza into a gentle hug. “Perhaps we’ll meet again in the Spirit World. Now, go. Call your dragon - I’m sure your waterbending teacher is eager to meet you.”
Shinza hadn’t thought much on what came next; she’d been engrossed in her testing. “Who is it?” she asked. “What are they like?”
Jinora’s smile fell. “I don’t know, honey.”
Feeling the blood run out of her face, Shinza masked the rising panic she felt. How had she not thought to find herself a waterbending teacher? How could she have missed such a crucial step? She thought back to when she’d left the Island of the Sun Warriors, and realized that it had been Amrit who had found Lo Sang. With a pang in her heart, she realized she was on her own. She’d have to get to the North Pole - or the South Pole; she wasn’t even sure which place she should go to - and regroup. Resolutely, she nodded to Jinora and Lo Sang, stuck her index finger and thumb into her mouth, and whistled loudly for Xia.
The dragon didn’t appear right away, which wasn’t unusual. While she waited, she delicately traced the healed tattoo on her arm, feathering her fingertips over the black lines that made up Xia’s body. After a few more moments, Shinza turned to face the others, who had begun to grow restless. “She uh… she’s usually a couple seconds late.” But the seconds ticked by and turned into minutes. Lo Sang shuffled on her booted feet.
Shinza began to worry. Had Xia been shot down? Sweat beaded along her hairline.
“Look, there!” someone shouted. Xia burst through the clouds, carrying a rider on her back. But who…? Shinza squinted, and then yelped with joy, clapping her hands over her mouth.
Amrit rode proudly on the back of the dragon, his eager grin visible even from a distance. Xia flew with such velocity that she had to circle once or twice before touching down on the courtyard, and the wait was too long for Shinza to bear. Once Xia landed, Amrit slid elegantly off the dragon’s back. Shinza abandoned her little pack of belongings and leapt into his arms, unable to think to do anything else but to seek him in such a way. His breath left him and he curled his muscled arms around her lithe body, nearly tipping over, but righting them both with ease. She squeezed him tighter than she thought she could, and he reciprocated.
“Hey,” his voice quivered with emotion. “You okay?”
“Don’t let me go,” she responded, letting her tears flow freely.
He squeezed tighter. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Then she laughed. And he laughed. She couldn’t have thought of anything more perfect than Amrit showing up when she needed him most. Finally, Shinza felt for the ground with her toes, and they both straightened themselves out, sizing each other up.
“What are you doing here?” she sniffed. Her cheeks ached from the width of her smile. Relief and joy coursed through her veins. Whatever anxiety she’d felt moments ago was gone. She regarded him openly - he wore his finest clothing, even a thick cape to keep the mountain’s draft away from his bare, copper skin. On his face were painted the familiar ochre markings. “You look so fancy.”
“I, uh... missed you,” he confessed sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. His onyx eyes took her in. She looked like an entirely different woman; wiser, more confident. Remembering the way she and Xia had bonded when they’d first met, he couldn’t say he was surprised at the tattoo that covered her entire right arm. She’d always had impeccable posture, but now, as he regarded her, he felt her unmistakable presence as the Avatar. “And I’m here to ask for a job.”
Shinza’s brows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“Who’s looking out for you?” he inquired. “Do you have a waterbending teacher?”
“No, I don’t,” she replied, sobering.
“I may have found someone to teach you,” Amrit said. “I figured you were probably close to finishing your training here, so I took the liberty. I don’t have a resume or anything, but I have your back. I want to help you however I can.”
Shinza inquired softly, “What about your students? And your family?”
“My parents have my sister’s kids to look after. My students have all graduated, and the next round will be too young to start for a few years yet. Look… when you first came to the Island, I knew without a single grain of doubt that I was meant to help you. And after you left, things didn’t feel the same.”
She studied him, broad-shouldered, stating his case. While flattered that he felt the need to explain it at all, she knew kismet when she felt it. All the same, she pretended to deliberate.
Then she stuck her hand out with a smirk. “Team Avatar?”
Visibly relaxing, Amrit grinned, ignored her hand, and instead gathered her up in his arms again. “Team Avatar.”
From behind them, a small voice demanded, “So wait, who is this guy?”
Having forgotten they weren’t alone, Shinza turned to Lo Sang. “This is Amrit Han,” she said. “He was my firebending teacher. Amrit,” she said, turning to him and gesturing, “Please meet Masters Jinora and Lo Sang.”
“It’s my utmost pleasure,” said Jinora, inclining her head. As soon as Amrit’s gaze swept onto Lo Sang, however, the little one’s eyes went wide and her cheeks blossomed with a deep red blush. “Wow. You’re really handsome.”
“Right?” Shinza sounded. “You could just punch him.”
“I… hang on, what?” Amrit chuckled, a confused smile spreading over his face.
“On that note, Xia’s waiting,” Shinza cued, gathering her pack. The two mounted the dragon’s back and held on tight as Xia got a running start and leapt off the ground, rocketing northward. Shinza looked back with ease, a friend to the open air now, and sent her love back to the temple.
@chromecutie @hetapeep41 @jaymzbush @my-remedy-is-euphoria
#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar fanfiction#avatar fanfic#avatar imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#avatar the last airbender fanfiction#avatar the last airbender fanfic#atla#atla fanfiction#atla fanfic#lok#lok fanfiction#lok fanfic#fiction#fic#fire#air#water#earth#emberbent
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Performance Anxiety and Self-Sabotage: Five Tips for Working with our Inner Critic
Image credit: Xenia Pestova Bennett by Nick Harrison
Performance anxiety is a universal experience, a survival mechanism that is hard-wired. Symptoms vary, but many of us get shaky limbs, blurry vision, dry mouth, shallow fast breathing, rapid heart rate, sweaty and cold hands. Personally, I get both sweaty palms AND cold fingers – the worst possible combination for a pianist! Even talking about these symptoms can make some of us experience them. This is our sympathetic nervous system kicking into action and responding to perceived as well as real danger (the so-called “fight-or-flight”). To make matters worse, many of us can exaggerate the sympathetic response and literally sabotage ourselves with negative thoughts before, during and after playing for others, spinning into uncontrollable worry-loops instead of activating the parasympathetic “rest-and-digest” response to return to equilibrium.
While resources to help musicians and other performers are increasingly available, it can still be difficult to find clear guidance on what to do before, during and after a performance, particularly if you are a non-professional without access to an educational institution or an established support network. Below is a selection of my personal favourites that might help.
1. Developing a toolkit of routines (before performing):
At times, our negative self-talk can be difficult to access and rationalise through simply thinking or analysing. This can be especially difficult when we are nervous, waiting to go on stage to perform. It can be helpful to bypass the worry-loops of the mind by approaching them through the body and doing something different, perhaps something physical that makes us move and also helps release tension and cultivate relaxation. What can we do? There is an enormous variety of approaches at our disposal, so it is important to compile a personal toolkit of helpful routines that you can do regularly BEFORE getting to a challenging situation. Choose something to implement every time you get ready to practise at home and be able to call on these tools before playing for others. Familiarising yourself with a series of possible interventions can help bring a sense of normalcy to an otherwise stressful situation. Simple movement-based sequences and stretches, particularly synchronised with breathing, are extremely helpful for calming the mind. While breathwork alone can also be very beneficial, the advice to simply “take a deep breath” can be inappropriate and misguided. Over-breathing and breathing into the chest are in fact associated with triggering our sympathetic nervous system. Instead, choose exercises that elongate the breath and lengthen the exhale while breathing through the nose to encourage abdominal rather than chest breathing and activate the parasympathetic response. Breathwork combined with slow movement can provide a gentle entry point (Qi Gong, Tai Chi, gentle Hatha yoga or Yin Yoga).
Exercise: stand (or sit) with the weight equally distributed between the feet (or sitting bones). Shake all tension out from the shoulder down the arms and into the fingertips, shifting your weight side to side. Soften the elbows and cup your hands with the palms facing up. Bring them to about chest height as you inhale slowly, combining breath with movement. Turn the palms to face the floor and exhale down to your waist; repeat about ten times.
2. Cultivating non-reactivity (before, during and after performing):
I have several students who describe their performance in negative terms after they play in a lesson or workshop. Does that sound familiar? Some of us are programmed this way: conditioned from childhood to focus on what needs to be improved, yet forgetting to acknowledge what is already good. This is particularly detrimental during performance and can make us lose focus and make more mistakes. The first step is to notice and recognise our negative thoughts. We can learn a lot from introspective approaches to non-reactivity in mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness practices also have strong connections to the Alexander Technique principle “inhibit and direct”. We begin by learning to notice the impulse first, without trying to change it. Start by trying to simply notice every time you criticise yourself, then don’t criticise yourself for criticising! Just notice, take a pause. Sometimes, this pause is already enough to begin shifting the pattern and rewiring old neural networks.
Exercise: take a mental pause and notice the next time you have a tendency to criticise yourself. You have a choice to continue, or shift: decide.
3. Learning to shift our focus of attention (before and during the performance):
I’ve written about looking backwards to what went wrong and what we can fix when we practise. When we perform, we must look forwards to what is coming. This is the time to implement our non-reactivity. It doesn’t come naturally and it’s not enough to decide to do this. Like anything else, we have to practice. In practical terms, we can work to literally widen focus of awareness. Often, when we are experiencing fight-or-flight, we tense up and our field of vision can literally narrow down. Work to consciously expand this and notice your peripheral vision as well as whatever else is going on. This will help reading if you are playing off the score and improve your technical accuracy as you will learn to release more and more of the unnecessary tension. Try the “Four Foundations of Mindfulness”: what are the physical sensations (touching), thoughts (knowing), feelings (being), sounds in the space (listening)? Developing a formal meditation routine can be very helpful here (mindfulness meditation also allegedly shrinks the amygdala, the part of our brain associated with fear and anxiety).
Exercise: sitting comfortably, start with a mini-body scan, metaphorically melting your attention down from the top of the head through the face, torso, arms and legs and releasing any tension you are aware of. Notice the four foundations of mindfulness: “touching” (sensations), “knowing” (thoughts), “being” (feelings), “listening” (sounds). Remind yourself of your motivation for performing music – why do you do this? I do this short grounding exercise every time before I make any sound at the piano, whether by myself or in public.
4. Working with rewards (during and after the performance):
Negative expression to others has a tremendous impact on how we programme ourselves. Some of us are conditioned to be “modest”. Forget modesty. When people congratulate you, don’t make a sour face. This is very off-putting and can colour their impression of the performance retrospectively (I learned this after coming to congratulate a respected professor after a recital backstage. They created a terrible impression when they started listing everything that went wrong!). Who cares if you feel you messed up somewhere? Be sure to congratulate and reward yourself immediately and do something to relax to cultivate being able to enjoy the experience of performing. Resent research in neuroscience points to neuroplasticity. It is possible to literally rewire our brains through encouraging ourselves with small rewards. Instead of hoping for major dopamine hits by expecting total perfection from ourselves and exuberant praise and standing ovations from others when we perform, we can acknowledge and celebrate tiny achievements and the completion of little stepwise goals we set for ourselves with special treats. Take a moment right now to think of a positive reward mechanism that you can set up to pamper yourself!
Exercise: smile and say “thank you” the next time someone pays you a compliment!
5. Establishing safe spaces: exposure therapy
Exposure therapy can be helpful, but it is important to practice this in safe settings, building up slowly and being patient with yourself. It might take a series of performances of the same repertoire for you to start noticing results. What can you plan for yourself right now to perform in stress-free environments? Why not arrange several Zoom or Skype recitals? Choose one or two pieces and “tour” them, playing for multiple friends online. Practice your grounding routine, non-reactivity and shifting your focus and make sure to prepare a treat for afterwards. You will start seeing results after five or six performances, feeling more relaxed, able to perform more accurately and more expressively. This will help you build confidence and enjoy playing for others.
Exercise: arrange a series of Zoom or Skype recitals for yourself right now!
I hope you found these suggestions helpful. While they are simple, they are not necessarily “easy” and will take some practice before they begin to feel more natural. I would encourage you to commit to trying these for at least a month and really give them a go before deciding if they are for you or not. We will explore more approaches in greater detail in my online performance anxiety course starting this September: you can find more information here. As with any toolkit, the approaches that resonate with you might be very personal and different from what feels appropriate for me or someone else. I would be very happy to hear from you with any feedback or suggestions if you’d like to reach out!
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Lily Bloom
A Walter Jodell Fic
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 10,300
Warnings: none
Summary: Walt is deep in his birthday celebration trip, but there's not much joy to be found in anyone involved. He literally falls into the lap of an interesting woman with woes of her own, but soon, they make each other forget - and remember - that the real joy of life is loving.
Walt walked too slowly to the showers, basket and towel in hand.
He waited until the others got back on purpose. The stalls were communal, and he had no desire to soap up with his buddies’ cocks swinging just a few feet from him.
Katty said he was insecure. He snorted out loud. She said that, right after complaining for nearly an hour about the homoerotic free-for-all in the women’s showers. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and shook his head. He wasn’t insecure, he was fastidious. This was supposed to be his birthday weekend, but everything felt wrong; his friend’s minds were elsewhere, and Katty did not seem to be in any mood to-
The tip of his sandal caught on a tree root and he lurched forward, his basket of bath things flying everywhere-
An arm shot out from behind the tree, and it grabbed his wrist and pulled. Hard. Just as he was about to yell, his eyes focused on a wide, serious set of hazel eyes.
“Don’t you make one sound,” she said, her hand still pressed over his mouth. Before he could question her, she pulled him behind the large tree truck with her. He was too shocked to react. His heart beat fast. Was there … a wild animal around?
“What is it-“he whispered tensely, but she shhhh’d him, her grip viselike on his forearm.
In a few seconds, he heard steps nearby. She put her finger against his lips.
“Don’t breath,” she mouthed slowly, and peeked around the tree trunk. The steps got closer, grinding on the gravel of the path.
“Seriously, this is ridiculous. I don’t know why she’d disappear on me. She bloody hates the woods.” It was a female voice.
“Maybe you should look in the showers?” A young man’s voice chimed in.
“I already did. She’s not there. In any case, she didn’t take her shower things. They’re still in the tent.” the woman said, and sighed. “Let’s get back. It’s so frustrating! We came here precisely so she couldn’t damn well run away.”
“She’ll turn up. Neither of you seem very nature-inclined,” the young man said.
“Hardee harr harr. We’re far more resilient than we look. Let’s go before we miss the meditation session,” she said.
“Sure you are. Perhaps for the wilds of Milan,” the man said. She squirmed with irritation.
“Watch your mouth, Karl, or no more paid vacations for you,” the woman said tersely. The man’s mouth snapped shut.
She waited until their steps faded to silence to remove her hand from his mouth. He licked his lips unconsciously. They were slightly … sweet. He turned to look at her. She had a sharp, razored bob in a color that looked expensive and high-maintenance.
“I’m so sorry about that. But I couldn’t let you blow up my spot,” she said, standing up and stretching. She wore a pair of yoga shorts, and a tank top that left very little to the imagination. Although it seemed like she was avoiding yoga, she was obviously doing something to keep herself in good shape. He stared at her naked belly as she stretched her arms over her head.
“Your spot,” he said, his eyes lingering on the skintight yoga shorts wedged in the promising cleft between her legs.
“We were supposed to be glamping, getting drunk and high, and terrorizing the neighboring campsites. That’s what she said. Instead, it turns out it’s a fucking yoga retreat. No meat, no alcohol, no sugar … no fun,” she said, rubbing her damp palms on her hips. There was a small rucksack on the ground, and she picked it up and rummaged inside.
“Fig newtons,” she said, pulling out a plastic-covered roll of the cookies. She crinkled up her nose, but sat back down and stuffed one into her mouth. “Awful things, aren’t they?” she said with her mouth full. “I stole them off the campers next door. At least they’re not kale chips and mung beans.”
“They’re alright,” he said. “My mom used to pack them in our lunches,” he said, then instantly wondered why he volunteered the fact.
“Did she?” she said, and gave him a long look from his sandaled feet to his face. “She sounds sweet.”
“She was,“ he said, and shrugged. “She passed away three years ago. Heart issues.”
She dropped the cookies and squeezed his hands. “I’m so sorry,” she said with an earnestness that made his hairs stand on end. “Really.”
He felt the stickiness of her fingers, the crumbs lodged between their palms, but her touch was soothing. And kind, something he had not felt in ages, from a woman.
She sighed and let go. “Wanna cookie?”
“It’s more a bar,” he said, but he nodded and accepted a few. Even the treacly scent of them took him back to better times. To being loved, and the hope of one day loving. It’s odd what a simple scent will do.
“Okay, clever man. I guess they are. Bars, I mean,” she said, and pulled a flask from her rucksack. She took a sip, then shook it at him. He eyed it suspiciously.
“I don’t usually drink alcohol this early,” he said, and instantly felt lame as she burst out laughing.
“It’s water,” she said. “From the fountain by the showers?”
“Oh.” He took a careful sip. It was. Fresh and cool. “Water tastes different up her, doesn’t it?” he said as he handed back the flask.
“It’s from a spring, not a water purification plant,” she said, and leaned back against the tree. The sun was rising higher over the sky, and it was getting warmer. He sat beside her, eating his cookies in silence.
“Why no sugar or alcohol?” he said finally.
“Because they are physical pollutants,” she said. “The retreat is supposed to be like pressing the reset button on our bodies and minds.” She seemed to be imitating someone as she said it. “I don’t want to reset. I want to remember, even if it kills me.” Her eyes watered, but the tears did not fall.
He was quiet, but curious.
“What happened?” he said finally. He wondered whether Katty would come looking for him, then decided he didn’t care. He was a grown man.
“What’s your name?” she said, turning to him.
“Walter Jodell,” he said, extending his hand out of habit. She took it, and squeezed. “My friends call me Walt.”
“Okay,” she said.
“And your name?” he said.
“We’re not supposed to have names during the retreat,” she said, hugging her knees.
“Oh,” he said, flushing.
“Gwen,” she said softly. “And my sister’s name is Sara. And his name is Terrence.”
“The young man with your sister?” he said, sitting indian style. He thought he heard her sister call him something else.
“My partner. Terrence,” she said, then said it again. “Terrence.”
“Is he here too?” he said innocently. Of course a woman like her had a partner-
“No, he’s not,” she said, and rose quickly.” A young, promising dental student driving home from a frat party at USC decided that red lights were just a suggestion and slammed right into him, full speed. She’s fine. He’s not.” She wiped her hands again, although they weren’t dirty.
He didn’t know what to say. His hands turned to fists on his lap.
“I’m here for my birthday weekend. My friends are going to throw me a party tomorrow,” he said. Even as the words left his mouth, he cringed. But she didn’t seem bothered.
“Lucky you. Three glorious days of birthday free-for-all. Don’t party too hard,” she said, and patted his shoulder. “Happy birthday, Walt.”
“It’s not until tomorrow,” he said.
“How old?”
“45,” he said, smiling.
“You look fantastic for 45,” she said, extending her hand to help him up.
“Not there yet,” he said.
“Don’t be afraid of growing older. Those lines and white hairs? They’re a blessing,” she said. “You got family?”
“Yeah. They’re here. Katty - Kathryn, my wife. And Orvis, my son.” He nodded solicitously.
“Katty? She’s a lucky lady, then,” she said, and helped him gather all his toilette items and put them back in the basket.
“I’m the lucky one,” he said automatically. He felt something in him twist painfully.
“Right,” she said. “I better get back to it before my sister starts a formal search party,” she said, pointing in the direction of her camp.
“Me too,” he said. “We’re, uh, over there,” he said, pointing back toward where they stayed. “If you ever need to take a break, have a beer and a hot dog, come through.”
“And ruin your birthday festivities? Never,” she said, brushing the dirt off her butt. His eyes lingered there. She smiled.
“You won’t be ruining a thing,” he said. “Trust me.” His lips were parted, ready to confess the brewing drama, but instead he smiled and nodded.
“Then I’ll think about it,” she said. “Maybe I’ll see you around,” she said, and nimbly jumped over the tree branch that tripped him and onto the path.
He watched her take a few steps. She had Katty’s grace, but the line of her body was different - she wasn’t a walking apostrophe, straight and frightening. Gwen curved with every step. It was enticing.
“Hey-“ he said as she was about to disappear into the green.
“Hmm?” she said, turning and smiling at him. He temporarily lost his breath. She was lovely.
“I’m sorry. About Terrence,” he said.
Her smile blinked off, and she grabbed for a golden ring hanging around her neck. “Me too, Walt.” She turned and walked away.
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#walt jodell#hbo camping#David Tennant#fan fiction#if any character deserves a happy ending#it's lovely kind Walt#walt x gwen#lily bloom#ao3 link
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How to Practice Mindfulness, with Jes Roseberg
As MCAD students and faculty continue to navigate this difficult time, adjunct Product Design professor Jes Rosenberg’s yoga business is working to help parents and children stuck within their homes. The Adventure of Superstretch™ is a web page, app, and physical class that helps children learn yoga poses and physically engage with their own bodies. They teach that “Balance is a superpower!” and use many cartoon characters to demonstrate the various poses and methods to any age group and skill level.
Superstretch Yoga™ is the top app for kid’s meditation, health, and wellness. Kids are able to learn alongside videos of other kids, animated characters, and music. The “adventure” is led by Superstretch, the super hero ready to teach any age the power of balance and stretching. Recently, Jes and Superstretch were featured in a Wall Street Journal article entitled “Family Going Stir Crazy? These Apps, Websites, and Games Could Help!” as an app to help parents in quarantine.
Jes is an adjunct for product design courses at both the University of Minnesota and MCAD. She brings wellness and mindfulness into her curriculum at both institutions. In her current class at MCAD, Design Drawing, she works to integrate activities such as improvisational games and stretching exercises to unite the right and left brain and leave her students ready to learn. By teaching in this method, she emphasizes her belief in teaching her students how to think creatively and divergently, instead of just lecturing about technique. This prepares her students for life, instead of just giving the skills needed to pass the class.
Due to her particular expertise, I asked Jes for her advice and thoughts on getting through the current global crisis. She responded-
“Navigating this new reality, our current life experience, is challenging. I’m feeling all my ‘feels’. Scattered, overwhelmed, afraid, uncertain, fried, goofy… There are lots of emotions happening and way too much computer time. Plus, I’m eating a LOT of food from my fridge between all of the Zoom and Google Meetings.
I love this B.K.S. Iyengar quote, “You do not need to seek freedom in a different land, for it exists with your own body, heart, mind, and soul.” This is so true! NOW is the time to tap into that freedom.
In mindfulness practices (movement, breath work, meditation) I teach my students that through difficulties arise opportunities for evolution. We have a CHOICE when dealing with something unknown, something scary. So, one should be curious, walk up to the edge and take a step back, a couple of deep breaths to reflect and reframe your mindset and then you can determine what is the best course of action.
Mindfulness is a moment to moment awareness practice. Our mind is our biggest asset and we need to exercise and nurture it to be our best selves. Practice helps us to change our relationship to our thoughts which, at times, can be very cruel and negative. Paying attention is a muscle. All practice really is, is like taking a shower! It’s emotional hygiene that helps to integrate mind and body. You become intentional with your attention in your life and you can strengthen the circuitry to focus. It will make you calm, courageous and connected.
I teach designers, just like in mindfulness practices, to be proactive vs. reactive in life situations. Design, like life, is fluid and ever-changing. I work to teach students to learn techniques to be innovative, resilient and thrive. To test and research all ideas because there is no bad idea as you are creating products for the future.
Designers, and creativity, need to live in a no-judgement zone. To keep a beginner’s mind and see life with childlike wonderment is tough, not easy. It’s hard to open up to the freedom to be your best self. Yes, you need to be vulnerable. Yes, you need to practice every damn day because practice is progress and we don't always have good days.
Life is organized chaos. This situation and time is very scary and frightening. It feels like we are living the full catastrophe. Give yourself space to listen. Be compassionate and empathetic to others but most importantly, to yourself. You can be resilient and thrive. Turn this obstacle into an opportunity.” -Jes Rosenberg
Jes also took the time to add some different techniques and activities to do throughout our time in quarantine. For other easy and fun activities, follow her instagram @superstretchyoga or @jes.rosenberg
Easy mindfulness practices to try in quarantine:
o Laugh and Smile Often. A smile is very powerful. And a deep belly laugh is like doing a sit up! Laughter creates a more positive state of being and can get you through a tough day. It also produces mirror neurons so when one-person similes the other person you are engaging with literally feels like smiling and leads to an optimistic attitude.
o Breathe Deeply. Invoke the relaxation response by taking some deep breaths, exhaling thoroughly. It is so cathartic and will give you a “glow from within” vibe as it sends serotonin, the happy hormone, through your body. You could even repeat a soothing word every exhale like, “peace” or “calm”.
Our breath is the tool that makes our body fully functional. And the effects of breath, meditation and yoga on our body are incredible. When we harness the pure potential of our breath we come into alignment. We become grounded like a tree that is firmly rooted, healthy, nurtured and flexible. If we grow deep roots we can stand on our own two feet, bear fruit and flourish. Once we are settled, centered in our mind and body then our physical and emotional self can be its best. Aligned with purpose, meaning and value.
o Set a Positive Intention for the Day. Before getting up each morning and making the bed, plug-in to your heartfelt desire, paving the way to a positive attitude and outcome.
o Meditate. Meditation is the express ticket to happiness but the practice takes discipline. It should never be forced so if a seated meditation is not calling you yet, find something that puts you “in the zone” for optimal alignment. Normal activities like reading a book, listening to soothing music, cooking, painting, running, sitting and having coffee is a form of meditation. Even laying down for five minutes simply breathing; one hand on your heart, the other on your tummy feeling the rise and fall of the diaphragmatic breaths, is a meditation. (Just set a timer so that if you fall asleep, you can wake-up and still go on with your day!)
The practice just needs to be something that offers you moment-to-moment joyful awareness. Whatever you can do to feel time and space disappear and you can let thoughts come and go, and flow, without getting attached to them.
MRI brain scan studies suggest that regular meditation reliably and profoundly alters the structure and function of the brain to improve the quality of both thought and feeling. Research also shows that mindfulness increases the capacity for empathy and social connectedness as well as positive emotions, such as love, joy, gratitude and contentment.
o Journal. Don't feel like writing? Start with a one-line-a-day gratitude book. Focus on one thing you are grateful for and write it down even on your phone or in an app.
o Do Nothing. Create a ‘do nothing’ sacred space in your house and just RELAX. Daydream for a half-hour with no guilt. Light a candle and breathe-in a relaxing scent. Lavender, cedar and pine are healing during busy times.
o Kindness. Treat people, and yourself, with compassion and kindness. Do small favors for people, expecting nothing in return. The best way one can uplift their own life is to uplift the lives of others.
o Give Yourself Credit. Make a list of your accomplishments. Feel Gratitude and Appreciation. Instead of a ‘To Do’ list make a ‘To Be’ list. You could even do a seven-day gratitude challenge with your family?
o Live Green. Take a nature walk and get some fresh air. Water a plant. Branch out and blossom. Recycle. Plant a tree. Find things that are sustainable and fulfilling. Cultivate new friendships.
o Reach Out. Texting and FaceBook messaging is great but try to call at least one family member or friend a day on the phone. Or write a letter snail-mail style!
o Give. Zoom out and sense a whole new perspective. Spend a few minutes each day contemplating something greater than you. Reach out and support the community or a local non-profit with a helping hand, offer a hug, lend a listening ear, share time, learn about something new, read a “meditation a day” book, have lengthy discussions with people.
o Digital Detox. Just 20 minutes away from a computer or smartphone restores your brain function and makes room for creativity. So, move around and shake off the old energy. Recharge your super human machine. Have a dance party. Draw a warm bath and dive in. Sing out loud.
o Chair Yoga. Reach, stretch, twist and even try a forward fold. Mindful movement and exercise rebalances the nervous system and allows you to de-stress and relax so that you can focus on the task at hand.
o Respond Wisely. Be proactive vs. reactive when faced with challenging situations. Take a deep, thoughtful breath before you speak.
o Nourish Yourself. One is what they eat, so make healthy choices. Try to avoid processed foods. Can you avoid sugar for a whole week?
o Hydrate. Grab a glass and take a sip of water. Did you know that more than 1/2 of our body is made up of water? The water inside of us helps us to keep everything vital and functioning. It increases energy, relieves fatigue, flushes out toxins and boosts the immune system. Plus, it puts you in a good mood so drink up!
Please remember to care for yourself in this time of crisis.
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5 Yoga Poses to Relieve Anxiety
Anxiety could strike any kind of time, any type of day. When it does, do you know exactly what to do to help decrease it?
For starters, laying off the high levels of caffeine as well as sugar is a great concept considering that these boosting materials typically make anxiety worse. Besides that, taking a breath deeply and participating in some sort of soothing task could help calm your nerves, get rid of that tight feeling in your breast, and obtain your mind right again.
If you can obtain away from your hectic daily life for a couple of minutes, take into consideration taking the time to undergo a fast yoga exercise sequence of anxiety-relieving postures. Right here are simply 5 that can help.
Cat-Cow (Marjaryasana Bitilasana)
Getting on your hands and knees to alternate in between arching and rounding your back helps to gently massage your entire back and also core while getting rid of any type of stress or discomfort around, making it an effective anxiety reliever. Breathe out as you round your back as long as possible into cat position and inhale right into cow posture to integrate the breath with the circulation of movement.
Legs Up the Wall (Viparita Karani)
Lying down flat on your back with your legs directly up in the air as near a 90-degree angle as your versatility enables aids to calm the nerve system and control blood circulation throughout the body. You don't necessarily require to have a wall around to put your upper hands against, however it aids. Preserve this present while you total 5 to 10 deep breaths (or as numerous as you like) to free your mind of anxious thoughts.
Seated Ahead Bend (Paschimottanasana)
Sitting with your legs right out before you while flexing your top body to stretch your arms toward your toes does wonders for the reduced back, hamstrings, hips, abdominal area and also pelvic location. It's an ideal pose for growing internal tranquility and also for self-reflection. Bear in mind to keep your feet bent and also your knees soft as you get to as far ahead as you could while aiming your temple down toward your legs. As you exhale, lean ahead a little bit more into the pose.
Child’s Pose (Balasana)
If you're a yogi, after that you have to currently know that child's position is just one of the main resting postures-- making it an ideal posture for decreasing anxiety and also promoting peace. You can stretch your arms out in front of you or additionally extend them out in the contrary direction towards your feet as you rest on your knees and also bend onward. It's also just a wonderful posture overall for newbies and also those who still have a great deal of job to do on their flexibility.
Corpse (Savasana)
Often integrated into several yoga series as the last pose of the practice, corpse posture is implied to get you totally kicked back as well as existing. Although it looks as straightforward as relaxing on your back with your hands facing upward as well as feet normally fallen outside, remains is often explained to be one of the most tough postures as a result of just how active the mind has the tendency to be. Emphasis on kicking back each muscle and each believed at a time, and use it as a beginning point for meditation if you wish.
All or any kind of private among these positions could assist following time you begin to feel anxiety or anxiety embed in. Take a couple of minutes on your own as well as you'll be on your way back to a much calmer mindset as well as body in virtually no time at all at all.
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