kaze-writes

[kaze-writes]

Random headcanon for Jaz? (Couldn't find the symbol 🙈)

It's the oddest symbol, isn't it?!

ൠ - random headcanon

Of all bandmembers, Jaz is the only one who can't play another instrument. She tried learning the guitar and dabbled with the piano in the past but nothing has ever come even remotely close to the fulfillment drumming gives her. She's made up for it by perfecting her craft, often working as a session drummer or doing small to mid-sized tours with other artists when the band is between tours and albums.

[kaze-writes]

☮️& ❤️ for Leon (naturally)

Naturally 🙏

♥ - family headcanon

Leon was very young when his parents died, and not much older when he lost his last living relatives as well. Even after all these years, the knowledge that he can't remember his father's voice or the way his mother smiled sometimes becomes so overwhelming that he thinks it might choke him.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Mara and Leon met in the care system when it felt like the world had given up on them. Mara didn't think much of him at first, but when it all came crashing down on Mara, Leon was there for her and refused to leave even when she screamed at him to. None of them ever mentioned it again but Mara has never forgotten about it, and she never will. For Leon, she would do anything and everything, and God have mercy on anyone who dares to hurt him.

[kaze-writes]

Headcanon meme~

Put a symbol (or several) and a character/characters in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon.  Yes.  Do it.

☾ -��sleep headcanon

★ - sad headcanon

☆ - happy headcanon

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

♥ - family headcanon

☮ - friendship headcanon

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

▼ - childhood headcanon

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

☼ - appearance headcanon

ൠ - random headcanon

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[kaze-writes]

I hope I'm not asking too much, but these questions are goooood. So, if you're willing:

Silence, plants, metal, dreams, courage for the Rockstars, envy and love.

You? Never 💛

SILENCE - Dialogue or description?

Dialogue, always. Once the people in my head get going, they never seem to shut up.

PLANTS - What food appears most in your writing?

Not food but... my characters do like a good drink 😅

METAL - What would your book's cover look like?

So when we did the first version of When Stars Ignite, the banner was a picture of a view from onstage when all the lights were turned off and all you could see were lit phone screens. Something along those lines, maybe?

DREAMS - Why do you write?

Because I can't let the ideas go otherwise. If I don't put them down on paper, and put them down properly, I'm forever haunted and frankly, that gets really annoying.

COURAGE - Give an out of context spoiler!

Leon has more of Taylor Swift in him than he likes to admit.

And for the rockstars themselves:

ENVY - Which author do you most want to write like?

I swear I onla got my hands on Daisy Jones & the Six after the very first draft of the first rockstar version was done but... ffs, Taylor Jenkins Reid is goals.

LOVE - Who reads your writing first?

@the-al-chemist has been my trusted first reader and advisor from the start and I wouldn't want anybody else to rip my rambling to shreds first 💛

[kaze-writes]

Let’s do this, mf ☀️

[kaze-writes]

Hello,

I hope you're well. I've been meaning to ask you a few questions about the process of turning your fanfic written with the-alchemist "When stars Ignite" into an original story, particularly as regards the characters.

I don't have any similar projects, but I'm incorrigibly curious.😅 That said, feel free to ignore my questions if you don't want to answer.

How do you manage to give the characters a new depth and an identity of their own, while retaining the essence that appealed to readers of the fanfic?

What difficulties have you encountered in transforming fanfiction characters into original characters?

To what extent do you change their story arcs and character traits?

Thanks in advance for sharing your experience and I wish you all the best in this project (and in life!!!)🌺🌺🌺

This ask has been sitting in my ask box for an embarrassingly long time, and no small part of the reason was just how absolutely emotional your interest in the project (despite having read the first version already) has made me.

Knowing that there are people out there who are interested in this project I've put (and am still putting) the greatest part of my blood, sweat and tears into... I am very, very grateful for that.

And ofc, I'm grateful for these incredible questions too, so let's get into them!

How do you manage to give the characters a new depth and an identity of their own, while retaining the essence that appealed to readers of the fanfic?

If you looked at the latest draft I have sitting printed out on my desk, you'd notice that the characters are anything but consistent (yet). That is because, as in fanfiction as well, the more you write them in their adapted state, the more you get to know them. Towards the end of the book, the characterisations become more and more consistent as compared to the beginning, when you can still see the "old" personalities shining through. It's a hard balance to strike between wanting to preserve personalities that have made the story work and trusting your characters enough to let them grow into their own, at the risk of running into dynamic problems further down the line.

Ultimately though, I have yet to go wrong with trusting my gut.

2. What difficulties have you encountered in transforming fanfiction characters into original characters?

When the rewrite process started, I thought it was a matter of splashing some new paint (aka names) on the established characters and polish up the writing. I thought, it would take maybe one or two months to do.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

As well as the points mentioned in question 1, the safety net of background knowledge fandom characters bring to the table cannot be overestimated. With my new set of characters, and an audience in mind who had no idea about the quirks, personalities, or conflicts of these characters, you slowly begin to realise that a whole new method of introducing them is necessary. Also, many things you'd put into an AU as an easteregg suddenly doesn't make sense anymore in an original story, looking very strange and out of place if left in the manuscript, so all these things needed to change and be adapted.

That being said, the biggest difficulty I encountered was the added pressure of knowing that the characters only have one chance at a first impression. Only the things I put into this book and the way I make them translate to the readers are how my characters are going to be perceived. It's a very scary and stifling thing, which took me quite some time to overcome (and might still take a little more).

3. To what extent do you change their story arcs and character traits?

It's hard to say at this point. Some of the background stories obv were very different, with esp dynamics being entirely new compared to the canon characters back then. Most of these things were kept, but even early in the writing process, the characters began to diverge from where they started (esp Orion/Leon were growing apart in personality so quickly, it was astonishing). I've tried to retain their core characteristics but as mentioned above, at some point I decided to go with my gut and let the characters do as they saw fit. For some, this resulted in monumental changes, for others less so, but I think we've reached a good balance by now, or so I hope.

[kaze-writes]

I just want to be happy :[

[kaze-writes]

Had a bad day, cried a little, made some chickpea curry, realised I have no more chocolate and got very upset about it, wrote the first chapter of Icarus... a regular Sunday in Kaze City, I guess.

[kaze-writes]

Doing the open tag by @kc-the-writer in @gufu-vire’s Pinterest game.

Results are odd and a little aesthetically unpleasing but I still (because or despite lol) feel represented 😅

Whoever reads this, feel tagged!

How Does Pinterest See You?

Rule: Search for fashion, Pantone, mood, and food, and save the first pictures that appear.

[kaze-writes]

[kaze-writes]

This (literal) bad boi is on my mind today.

And any other day, really.

[kaze-writes]

this is so mean but sometimes i see published writing and suddenly no longer feel insecure about my own writing ability. like well okay that got published so im guessing i dont have much to worry about

[kaze-writes]

Temporary Fix

Based on this ask from @drinkyoursoupbitch

Summary: Equinox is taking its very first steps as a band founded by uni friends and Jaz and Leon find themselves just the two of them for the very first time, in a venue Jaz would never have dreamed of going. Warning: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, popular band trashing (pls don't come for me, it's for the story)

You caught my attention, you were looking at me first All that I can see's you waking up in my t-shirt If you're not hooked on anything right now, I can be your vice

~ One Direction - Temporary Fix ~

“Take a deep breath, hold it in your lungs. Embrace the fire. Find your balance. Switch.”

Jaz let out the breath she’d been dying to let go in a huff and moved, lowering her head to in between her arms as she stretched her legs. A drop of sweat loosened itself from between her shoulder blades and along her upside-down spine, causing her to shiver. The tickling distracted her, and even though she tried her best to follow the instructions she was given, she lagged behind as the rest of her yoga class moved into a more elaborate position. Having missed the teacher’s explanation, she did her best to mimic what everybody else was doing.

”Rotate your shoulders in and shift your weight. It’s easier that way.”

Blowing against the ponytail, which had fallen into her face, Jaz gave Leon, who was now walking through the rows of mats correcting positions a dubious look.

”I don’t think I can move in any way at all.”

His lips twitching, Leon reached out and lightly pushed against a spot above her shoulder blades. Suddenly, the weight which had started to make her arms shake was gone, and Jaz let out the breath she realised she had definitely been holding. She gave Leon a thankful look but he was already gone, ready to help the next of his students. On the mat next to her, her friend Mel was rolling her eyes, mouthing a silent ‘Bullshit!’ as she caught Jaz looking. They shared a chuckle but Jaz’s thoughts soon wandered back towards Leon.

Ever since she and Mel had started up their new band with him and his sister Mara a couple of months ago, Jaz had made it a point to go (and drag Mel) to the yoga classes Leon was teaching at a small studio near the MMU campus. He was a great teacher and Jaz usually enjoyed his classes immensely but something about Leon seemed off today. She had noticed earlier when they had all met for lunch in the university canteen, and the day before during band rehearsal; there was a strain to him that Jaz had never noticed before, a sudden restlessness beneath his usual calm demeanour that was entirely unlike him. She was curious to know why but so far, there had been no opportunity to find out.

As everyone settled down for the meditation that concluded all of Leon’s classes, Jaz found herself entirely unable to concentrate. She fidgeted in her seat, moving her hands from her thighs to her knees and back again. Her thoughts had strayed to Leon again, and giving up on her chance of inner peace for the day, she opened her eyes again.

He sat in front of the class like he always would but instead of guiding their meditation with his voice he was quiet today. His face was turned towards the big window next to him, where late autumn sunlight was slanting inside, basking him in its glow. His back was perfectly straight, both his feet resting on top of his knees in a lotus seat. His hands were folded in his lap and everything about him was still but it was far from peaceful. Jaz thought that he looked lost in thought, sad somehow, as if he was trying to hold on to something, too scared that it might slip away if moved only the slightest bit. 

When the class was over and everyone but her and Mel had left, she seized her chance.

”What’s up with you today?”

”Hm?” Leon only briefly glanced up from the props he was putting away. “What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.”

”No, you’re not,” Jaz insisted, trodding after him with her arms full of yoga blocks. “You’re quiet. You barely said a word during meditation.”

“I believe that’s the whole point of it.”

The corners of Leon’s mouth twitched but the smile didn’t reach his eyes and he quickly looked away again. Jaz clicked her tongue.

”This is about Clary, isn’t it?”

Leon’s shoulders stiffened. “What about Clary?”

”Have you given her your present yet? Didn’t she like it?” 

“Didn’t he tell you?” a familiar drawl sounded from the door, where Mara, the fourth member of their group had appeared to pick them up. The sneer on her face was even more distinct than usual. “That bitch broke up with him.”

Jaz gasped, heat creeping up her neck. “Oh God, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

Leon merely shrugged but a defeated look had crossed his face. “No need. Not like you could know.”

”That’s shit, mate,” Mel said and clapped him on the back. “What’re you doing with those tickets now? Mara said they cost a fortune.”

Again Leon shrugged. “I don’t know. Sell them probably, if I can find a buyer on such short notice.” Half-jokingly he added, “Unless one of you would like to come?”

Both Mara and Mel shook their heads, Mara immediately so. Feeling like she needed to make up for her blunder earlier, Jaz gave them a look and shrugged her shoulders.

”Why not? Who were you going to see, anyway?”

”You’ll find out,” Mara cut Leon off, her grin wider than Jaz had ever seen before. “You’re going to have a blast.” 

***

London’s O2 Arena could fit up to twenty thousand people, and from the looks of it, all of the seats would be filled. Jaz turned her head left and right as she and Leon made their way from North Greenwich Station towards the massive structure on the side of the  River Thames. Her brows knitted together in a frown as she noticed the age of the people - almost exclusively girls - headed in the same direction as them, but her questioning looks in Leon’s direction were being ignored. She had asked him who they were going to watch again and again but he kept shrouding himself in silence. Jaz suspected that Mel had found out but judging by the cackle she had received when Leon had picked her up, Jaz couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling that she might regret what she had so blindly agreed on.

”We’re almost there,” she tried for the tenth time, provoking only a strained smile from Leon’s side. “You might as well tell me.”

”As you said,” shrugged Leon, hands buried deeply in his pocket, “we’re almost there. You’re gonna find out in a minute.”

He looked uncomfortable as he said so, and it took Jaz only a couple more minutes and a glimpse at the giant posters surrounding the entrance to the arena to find out why. She stopped dead in her tracks.

”You’re kidding.”

”They’re supposed to be quite good.”

”One Direction?” She shot Leon an accusing look. “I trusted you. I thought your taste was decent.”

”I’ve never taken you for a snob.”

Jaz wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a snob.”

”Sounds suspiciously like it.”

”I just don’t like mass-produced pop music.” 

More than one girl clad in fan memorabilia gave Jaz a dark look as they passed her. Leon, on the other hand, only shrugged.

”Neither do I. The tickets were a gift, remember?”

“Good thing she dumped you. Really dodged a bullet there.” Seeing the smile that had appeared on Leon’s face falter, Jaz cursed herself for speaking before thinking. “Sorry. Too soon?”

“Only a little.”

He sounded defeated, the same tension Jaz had noticed in the yoga studio the other day having crept into his posture again. Sighing, Jaz nudged him with her shoulder and put a smile on her face. 

“Stop the gloom. Come on. Let’s get drunk and see what One Direction has to offer.”

Much to Jaz’s disappointment, it turned out that there was, in fact, nothing to get drunk on. Once inside the vast arena and in their seats, Jaz let her eyes wander over the crowd assembled around them. It consisted almost exclusively of girls much younger than her, and once again she felt a pang of astonished disbelief that she, of all people, had made it to a pop concert. The people around them were buzzing with excitement - some of them squealing for their idols already - and she suddenly longed for the relaxed atmosphere of the small to mid-sized rock shows she usually attended.

Next to her, Leon seemed to think no differently. The conversation normally flowing so effortlessly between them had ceased during their wait before admittance, and the answers Jaz was able to draw from him now were half-hearted at best. She didn’t know whether it was the venue, the act they were about to see, or the fact that she was in the spot his (ex) girlfriend was supposed to sit, but the atmosphere was strained where it had never been before, which wasn’t a feeling Jaz liked one bit.

She tapped Leon on the shoulder.

”We still have some time,” she almost screamed at him as a roar went up over a roadie adjusting something on the stylised stage. “Shall we get a breather?”

Something like relief crossed Leon’s face. “Smoking area is out back.”

”I don’t smoke.”

”Not talking about cigarettes, am I?”

Giggling, Jaz rose from her seat and led the way outside. Once they had found a secluded corner away from most of the hustle and bustle, she stood close to Leon, blocking view of him while he produced a colourful woven pouch out of his pockets, rolling the dried herbs inside into a paper with deft fingers. He lit up and passed the joint to Jaz, who took a long drag, feeling the warmth spread inside her body.

”Do you realise,” Leon said after they had passed the joint back and forth a couple of times, “that this is the first time we’re doing something together, just the two of us?”

Stunned, Jaz tilted her head. “No, it’s not.” 

“Yes, it is.”

”Wow.” She blew smoke into the air, trying not to giggle as it tickled past her lips. “Is that why you’re acting all strange and mood and gloom today?” She laughed when Leon shrugged, nudging his foot with the tip of her trainers. “There’s no need. I’m delightful company.”

”I know.”

”And this is not a date either.”

”I know it’s not.”

”Because that’d be against the rules.”

”Very much so.”

”They’re good rules,” Jaz sighed, passing Leon back the weed. “Focus on the music and don’t get distracted fucking around. Makes sense.”

”Rich is a great manager. He knows what he’s doing.” 

They fell silent again. Jaz sighed.

”Listen, both of us have imagined this evening very differently but we’re here now, and that’s a fact. No use making ourselves have a shit time, is it?”

Tentatively, Leon gave her a strained smile. “I guess not.”

”See? Hang on.” Turning away, Jaz quickly walked over to the tired-looking set of parents standing a little to the side of the smoking area, as suspiciously close to each other as she and Leon. When she returned, she triumphantly held two tiny bottles of clear liquor into Leon’s face. An astounded look crossed his face. His lips twitched.

”You’re incredible.”

”What’s new?” Unscrewing the lid, she toasted to Leon with a wink. “To our non-date.”

Grinning, Leon stubbed out their joint and brought the bottled shot to his lips. “To One Direction.” 

When they returned inside, the crowd was buzzing with anticipation. The show must have been about to start, yet there were still people lined up along the merchandise store as Leon and Jaz passed there. A group of girls was huddled around a poster one of them had just purchased, discussing the boys smiling at them from the print with flushed cheeks. Every now and again, they would cast furtive looks in Leon’s direction, who pretended not to notice. Still feeling the effect of the weed, Jaz bit back a laugh and approached them. Frowning, Leon followed her.

”Are you as excited as I am?” she beamed at the confused girls. “Can’t be much longer now.”

One of them, a tall girl with hearts painted on both her cheeks, eyed her warily. “Do we know you?”

”All Directioners, are we not?” Jaz gave Leon a sideways look and smirked. “My boyfriend here was so excited to see One Direction, you have no idea.”

”What to say,” Leon sighed and put an arm around her shoulder, not missing a beat playing along. “Can’t help getting drawn in when your girlfriend erects a shrine to Harry Styles in your bedroom, can you?”

Looking between themselves, the girls shuffled away, leaving Jaz and Leon behind, giggling to themselves. 

“You take me for a Harry Styles girl?” Jaz raised her eyebrow as they made their way back to their seats. “Really?”

”He’s got nice hair, or so I’ve been told.”

”’Told’, hm?” Jaz laughed. “I’ll think about it if he grows himself a beard.”

Leon said nothing, corners of his mouth twitching as he removed the arm that had kept resting around Jaz’s shoulders. 

The high of the weed soon wore off but once the show had started, Jaz found that, unexpectedly, she didn’t mind. The music was run-of-the-mill pop, just like she had expected, but the energy of the crowd was incredible. She soon bopped along to the beat, and Leon next to her was doing the same. Every now and then, she stole a glance at him when she thought he wouldn’t notice. He, too, was nodding his head in time with the music, and after about half of the setlist, all the tension in his shoulders seemed to have disappeared. He was as relaxed as Jaz had known him to be, a sort of calm to his movements that made him seem peaceful even when the whole arena around him was dancing. It was good to see him like this. It was good to be here with him like this.

Her surprisingly good mood carried Jaz through the rest of the show, and even the tightly packed tube leaving from North Greenwich Station couldn’t shake her. She and Leon stood to the side of the wagon, engaged in a hearty debate about the show. He had his hand hooked into the holds running along the ceiling, while Jaz, being too small to reach them comfortably, resorted to sticking close to Leon.

The night was mellow when they got off the station, a mellow wind ruffling Jaz’s hair as they ascended from underground. It was a good deal to walk to where she and Mel were sharing their flat but Jaz hardly noticed. She and Leon were still talking, about tonight’s show, other shows they had attended, shows they might themselves potentially play should everything work out how Rich had promised them to. 

“You’re never quite still, are you?”

”Huh? What do you mean?” They had stopped at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. Lost in thought, Jaz had been humming one of the songs that had been stuck in her head ever since leaving the arena, tapping both her foot and fingers to two different rhythms. It was this Leon nodded his head at.

”Whenever there is music, you move. And mostly when there isn’t, you do, too. No denying it,” he laughed when Jaz opened her mouth to protest, “I’ve seen you during my classes. You’re the only one who can't seem to sit still even for a moment.” 

“I can’t help it,” Jaz shrugged. Her cheeks were warm but there was a smile forming on her face. “It’s a drummer thing, I guess.”

”Music is in your blood.” The smile mirrored on Leon’s face grew wider, and a tiny bit lopsided as he pointed between them. “That’s why we work. So you didn’t think tonight was all awful?”

”I don’t know.” Jaz pulled a face. “I can’t bring myself to say anything nice about One Direction, I don’t think.”

”So you’re a snob after all.” Laughing, he stepped sideways when Jaz made to hit him. “Personally, I think they weren’t that bad. Maybe Clary had more taste than I gave her credit for.”

His voice faltered at the last words, the spark in his eyes entirely disappeared again. Suddenly, he looked so crestfallen that it made Jaz angry. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this; no one did, but least of all him.

”She has no taste whatsoever,” she said sharply, holding up a finger when Leon made to defend her. “If she had, she wouldn’t have dumped you like she did.”

”She had every right to.”

”I don’t care. She was dumb to. You’re a great person, Leon - an amazing person, even - and you’re kind and funny and good-looking and an incredible musician and if she for one moment thought otherwise...” Jaz shrugged angrily. “No idea how to help her then.”

It took Leon a moment to answer. He swallowed heavily. “That’s… kind of you to say.”

”Even though I am hurting  because of you.”

Astounded, Leon stopped walking. Jaz did too. They had reached the building where she and Mel lived, and she had already been climbing the first step leading up to the front door, making her and Leon almost level-eyed. There was surprise in them, and a flicker of something else Jaz wasn’t quite sure how to read.

”What makes you say that?”

”It’s true,” she said casually, forcing herself to look away. She didn’t know why she’d said it, to lighten the mood maybe. It was always like this with Leon - he made her speak before she thought. He made her be in the moment, wholly and entirely. It was one of the qualities she liked about him the most. “Every time I come out of your classes I feel worse than after CrossFit. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing.”

”Peace of body and mind is all the sweeter for having earned it.” His face lay half-hidden in the shadows cast by a nearby street light but something in his eyes had changed. A spark. A challenge? “Where are you hurting?”

”Where not? Mostly here, though.”

She pointed at the top of her shoulders, right where they met her neck. Leon stepped closer, putting his hand on the corresponding spot. Her pain there wasn’t nearly half as bad as she had made it sound but Jaz found that she cared less about this than the slight pressure of Leon’s hand as his thumb brushed over her shoulder, just shy of grazing the edge of her collarbone. Her breath hitched and she was suddenly glad she had brought a jacket. Goosebumps were covering her skin beneath it. 

“I told you your posture was bad,” Leon mumbled, not looking at her face but where his hand was still resting on her body.

Jaz swallowed, her throat suddenly almost too tight to speak. “You did.”

“I could show you how to correct your form sometime.”

“Yeah, some time.”

Without realising, she had moved down one step again, closer to Leon, closer to the heat of his body. Even though she was so close now, his hand remained fixed on her shoulder where it had been. She should just raise her arms and hug him goodbye, get the hell back into her flat and be done with it, but strangely, Jaz found herself both unable and unwilling to do so. She took the last step down again, now almost flush against him, as close as they had been in the tube earlier. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was watching her, attentively. She could almost feel his chest rising and falling beneath his shirt in shallow breaths, longed to place her hand there where it had no business. His lips were parted ever so slightly and she studied their curve, the dip in his cupid’s bow. She had never realised his lips were quite so beautiful. No, that was a lie. She had thought it on the very first evening they’d met. She had just made herself not think about it since. 

They had moved closer still, and Jaz tilted her head as Leon’s eyes dropped to her lips, holding her breath but she didn’t dare move. Neither did he. They just stood there, their chests almost touching, his hand still on her shoulder, eyes locked in a moment that could have been an eternity in itself.

Eventually, Leon blinked twice. He didn’t move back but even so, the spell had been broken. 

“Jaz, I…”

“I know.” She made a conscious effort to step away from him, and the moment disappeared entirely.The spark that had been building between them for the better part of the evening had flickered out, leaving nothing behind but the warmth in her cheeks and the strange feeling in her chest. “This is not a good idea.”

A mixture of relief and regret flickered across Leon’s face, brief but so distinct that Jaz wondered how people could ever think that he was hard to read. 

“Please don’t take this wrongly, but the band looks like it’s going places and messing this up would…”

“Leon, it’s cool.” Jaz smiled at him. “I know. Never change a running system, right?”

“Right.” 

They fell silent, then after another awkward moment hugged each other goodbye and parted ways. Jaz was almost inside her front door when, on a whim, she turned in the doorway and called after him.

”I had a great evening, by the way. Just don’t tell Mel I said so.”

Leon laughed, dipping his head back into his neck as he. The orange light of the street light washed over him, and even from a distance, Jaz thought she could see the sparkle in his eyes. “Still a snob then.”

”I’m willing to learn. Thanks for taking me.”

”Thanks for coming.”

”That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”

He inclined his head, the lopsided smile from before playing around his lips. “That’s what friends are for.”

And then he was gone, dipping in and out of the light and shadow of the London night, leaving Jaz to watch after him for maybe a moment too long. Shaking herself from her daze, she turned and pulled out her keys. She hoped Mel wasn’t awake anymore.

There were a couple of things she had to think about. 

[kaze-writes]

Muahahahaa, let's do this.

There are many things Nemesis finds fault in, for casting blame comes easier than looking deep within. But even if he dared to swirl around the depths of his own heart, he would still choose to ignore his father, no matter what the day would bring.

He was but a ghost during his life, a ghost more so now in death.

"You’re not real and I am not your son."

A different name, like a cape meant to conceal him. A different city meant to absorb him. People that knew nothing of him, except one kind gentle soul that knew not to push. For Nemesis can be cold and cruel to those that hurt him. Vicious to the cowards. Unforgiving.

[kaze-writes]

ALL THE YESSES

HOT TAKE

Editing is more fun than the first draft

[kaze-writes]

A/N: I don't think I've been this apprehensive to share a story in a long long time, and not (only) because it's a (mild) smut. I've spent months and months with Jaz, Leon and the crew but realised they've never been formally introduced to here so... be gentle with me them.

Infra-Red

Summary: In which Jaz and Leon get a little too distracted during an award show. Warning: This story contains explicit NSFW content. Anyone below the age of 18 or uncomfortable with this topic is advised not to interact.

Everyone's living in black and white We see each other in a different light That’s why I look at you like I do Like nobody else is even in the room

~ Three Days Grace - Infra-Red ~

Award shows were Jaz’s favourites. 

There was just something about them - the colourful hustle and bustle, the tension and excitement, the sheer force of the emotions as prizes were handed out and tear-filled speeches were given on stage.

And then, there were the afterparties, of course; a chance for everyone to let down their hair without getting harassed by journalists. There usually was great music involved, free drinks, catching up with old friends and making new ones, the air abuzz with talent, inspiration and good vibes.

The particular award show the members of Equinox were currently headed to promised just that, and Jaz was fidgeting in her evening gown, impatient to finally get going. Jacques, the band’s stylist, tutted and slapped her hand away as she reached for the satin strap that had wandered up her shoulder.

“Stop that.” Giving her a disapproving look as he pulled the strap back into place. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” Jaz glanced at herself in the floor-length mirror Jacques had set up. Self-consciously, she ran her hand over the shimmering red satin. “Is it really necessary to –”

“I spent an eternity sourcing this dress,” Jacques said sternly, brushing his hand almost reverently over the smooth fabric. “If you ruin this vision I created out of you, I’ll make you wear Primark for the rest of your miserable, unstylish life. Now stop complaining.”

“What’s wrong with Primark?” 

“I don’t get paid enough for this,” Jacques muttered, rubbing his temples and handing Jaz a bag that was so tiny she could hardly fit her phone, lipstick and a handful of hairpins in. 

He ushered her out the door of the big townhouse in Kensington, belonging to Equinox’s manager and mentor Rich Cameron, to where the rest of the band was already waiting for their car to arrive. 

Rich Cameron himself, dressed in a sharply tailored suit, was looking at his watch impatiently, typing something into his phone every now and again.

“About bloody time you got ready. I was about to go in there and get you out myself.”

“You can’t rush art,” Jacques said indignantly in Jaz’s stead, picking up his bag. He silently pointed at his eyes with one hand, then at Jaz but there was a gleam in his eyes as he blew them all a kiss and vanished into the brightly-lit London night.

Everett James, their band’s lead singer, raised his eyes from his phone and whistled audibly.

”Looking hot, Jaz.” He grinned at Leon, who stood next to him with an unreadable expression and elbowed him in the side. “I’m gonna need her standing next to me, that’s for sure.”

Leon mumbled something in return Jaz couldn’t hear and turned away, seemingly indifferent, but the appreciative flash in his eyes as he looked her up and down hadn’t been lost on Jaz. She knew that look. Warmth pooled in her stomach and she tried not to look at him further as they waited. She was going to have enough of it before the night was over. 

Half an hour, two traffic jams and diversions and an almost-fit from Rich later, they finally arrived at the venue, the red carpet rolled out there flanked by rows of people clutching bulky, expensive-looking cameras. They began flashing as Mel stepped from their limousine first, sequins on her midnight blue suit rattling, and the screams and lights intensified when the whole ensemble finally posed side by side to have their picture taken. 

Jaz embraced the hecticness, smiling at the photographers she soon wasn’t able to see from the blinding lights. 

Next to her, Leon had casually shoved one hand into the pocket of his suit so that his stack of colourful bracelets was showing against his tanned skin, the other resting on the small of Jaz’s exposed back. 

Her smile never faltered, but Jaz was aware of every point of skin Leon was touching with his fingers, a pleasant twist going through her stomach whenever he moved or adjusted his hand. He began tapping her skin, wandering them along her spine in movements too minuscule for anyone but her to notice. She shivered, her core pulling together. Fighting the urge to look at him, Jaz’s eyes and smile remained trained on the photographers documenting their every move, but she knew which look she’d find there if she did. The thought of his small, slightly crooked smile, which always made him look like he knew something no one else did, did nothing to make her body stop tingling.

They were about to head inside, already out of sight of the cameras, when Leon gently touched her arm.

Jaz obediently let herself fall back - subtly, so the others wouldn’t notice - and between two heartbeats, Leon bent down to her, his hot breath brushing her cheek as he whispered something into her ear. Then he was gone again, catching up to Mara, leaving Jaz to walk behind them with heat spreading from her stomach into the rest of her.

Their table was rather to the back of the room, further from the stage than Rich would have liked. He kept on complaining but Jaz didn’t mind the obscurity created by the spots directed at the front of the room. Mel was chatting to her about the results of last week’s football match - “Celtic should have gotten that penalty, I swear to bloody God!” - but Jaz couldn’t bring herself to do much more than nod every now and again. Beneath the table, Leon, who was sitting on her other side talking to Mara, had his leg pressed against hers, the heat coming off his body palpable despite the cool air streaming from the ventilation shafts. She could smell his aftershave, mixed with a subtle hint of the hairspray Jacques had used to give his hair the perfectly messed-up look that made Jaz want to run her hand through it. She was burning with impatience now, making her leg bounce up and down, causing even more friction between her and Leon.

Hadn’t she known better, she would've thought Leon hadn’t noticed her restlessness. He looked like nothing was amiss, the only indication of being aware of Jaz the shifting of his leg, brushing along the patch of bare skin accessible through the slit in her skirt, and the barely perceptible smirk he gave her when she tensed. Her leg bounced faster and she did her best not to squirm in her seat, biting her lip almost painfully to keep from gasping when he brought his hand to her thigh beneath the table and squeezed it tightly. 

‘Go,’ his brief look at her seemed to say before he turned back to Mara again, and Jaz needn’t be told twice.

She raised herself from her seat and hastily left the table with a mumbled excuse. Even as she walked away, she could feel Leon’s eyes on her back. When she had left the increasingly bustling hall behind and entered the now quiet hallway, her phone buzzed in her handbag. She checked the message, looking left and right as she followed the short instructions on her screen.

Rounding a corner, even the last traces of activity ceased and Jaz was alone. A little further ahead, she could spot her destination but when she made her way to it, she found the door of the storage closet she’d been aiming at locked.

Well, shit.

Knowing that she couldn’t linger, Jaz unceremoniously plucked a pin from the elaborate updo Jacques had twisted her hair into and got to work. When Leon arrived a couple of minutes later, he was surprised to already find her waiting inside.

“I thought it’d be locked.”

“You sent me to a room you thought was locked?”

“Didn’t have much time studying the floor plan, did I?” 

“I suppose not.” Jaz smiled innocently. “And it was locked.”

“Then how did you…”

She raised her hand with the hairpin still lodged between her index and middle finger. “Perks of living with Mel.”

“Do I really want to know?” 

“Depends.”

“On what?”

Jaz slipped from the small table she’d been sitting on and placed her hand on his chest. “On whether you came here for talking.”

Not wasting another word, Leon bent to kiss her. Their mouths met greedily, hungrily, his lips tasting of the champagne they’d been served at the table. Jaz sighed as his tongue slipped into her mouth, his hands moving from her waist to the exposed skin of her back. Their kiss deepening, Leon pushed her back against the table and she let him lift her upwards onto the tabletop again.

His tie was discarded as soon as it was loose enough, Leon’s shirt following soon after as Jaz unbuttoned it with flying fingers. Her fingers spanned the countless pictures inked into his skin for a moment, but she was soon distracted when Leon dipped his head to her throat, leaving a burning trail of kisses in his wake. She slung her arm around his neck, arching her back to meet him, both their breaths coming heavily. 

When they locked lips again and Leon's fingers trailed from her spine up into her artfully arranged hair, Jaz was reluctant to have to pull away.

“Stop that,” she gasped, the sound turning into a barely subdued moan as Leon ran his finger along her temple and cheekbones, coming to rest on her lower lip.

“Why would I?”

“Because I can’t walk out of here looking like I just had a shag, can I?” 

Leon hummed. “I like that look on you.”

Catching Leon’s hands still playing with her hair, she guided them to where the fabric of her dress parted at her thigh to allow more room for motion. 

“I know other things your hands could do, though.” 

With a mischievous smirk that made her core pull together, Leon slipped his hands beneath the cool satin and onto her burning skin. His hands were rough as they pushed the fabric upwards, spanning Jaz’s thighs with the exact amount of pressure that made her dip her head back in pleasure. She shuddered as Leon brought his mouth to her chest, tracing the outline of her breasts where the red satin of her dress began. 

“I love this dress,” he murmured against her skin, making Jaz sigh, “but honestly, I’d prefer you out of it.”

Almost reluctantly, Jaz pulled away from him and hooked her fingers under the loops of his belt. “I thought you’d never get to the point.” 

Leon laughed darkly, arms enveloping her as he kissed her again, more roughly than before. Jaz met his pace, blindly pulling his belt away and undoing his flies as he lifted her from the table and turned her around. She steadied herself against the wall with her hand, one foot set onto one of the boxes littering the floor. Leon was pressing against her from behind, the heat of him compensating for the chilly air hitting her skin as he pushed her dress further up and up.

“What’s that, drummer girl?” he murmured into her ear, his breath hot against her neck. “No underwear?” 

She shot a teasing look over her shoulder even though her knees were close to buckling as Leon parted her legs with his hands and let them wander continuously higher. “Complaining, are we?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The grip on her shoulder tightened, and Jaz stifled a moan when he pushed inside of her. They had been doing this game for long enough to find their rhythm immediately, and it was all she could do not to cry out as Leon moved against her. The pace he set was quick, as much because of their shortage of time as of their mutual need, and Jaz did her best to match him. With every thrust she pushed herself against him, delighting in the friction she caused that way which made her head spin.

It wasn’t long before she felt the heat beginning to pool in her stomach, the familiar tingle beginning to grow. When she thought she couldn’t contain it any longer, Leon’s fingers dug into her skin, the ends of his hair brushing her collarbone as he buried his face against her neck, shuddering as he came. Jaz allowed herself to let go as well, fireworks exploding in front of her eyes as her high rolled over her. Clasping her hand in front of her mouth, she stifled the cry dropping from her lips. 

Tension leaving her body, she let herself collapse onto the tabletop in front of her. After the long moment it took for her to find her bearings again, she propped herself onto her elbows, brushing one of the locks that had fallen from her updo after all from her face with shaky hands.

“You alright?”

Leon ran his hand down her spine but there was no fire behind the gesture anymore, only genuine concern at her prolonged silence. Laughing breathily, Jaz turned to him, brushing her skirt down as she did so.

“Never better.” 

From beyond the door and down the hallway, the faint sound of clapping could be heard. Using the dusty mirror propped against the wall, Jaz quickly reapplied her lipstick and smoothed down her hair. When she was done, she studied Leon’s reflection behind her; his hair, which had been messy to begin with, was in even more of a state than before and there was a distinct red mark next to his mouth from her lipstick. Having tapped her face in the corresponding spot, he quickly wiped it off. 

“It’s a good thing you always look like you just got out of bed anyway.” 

Leon, in the process of buckling up his belt again, paused and raised one eyebrow at her. “I didn’t when I arrived here.” 

Chuckling, Jaz stepped towards the door, purposefully brushing against Leon as she did so. She lingered there, laying one hand against his cheek and raising her chin as if to kiss him.

A look of surprise flickering over his face he leaned in, closing his eyes, but before their lips could touch, Jaz pulled away with a smirk.

“Five minutes,” she breathed, her words ghosting over his lips. “See you at the show.”

And with that, she slipped from the room, leaving Leon behind. Making sure that no one had seen her, she quickly smoothed down her dress and made her way back towards the venue. 

When she reached their table, the opening show had just begun. Rich gave her a dark look as she took her seat and turned back to the stage. When his attention was elsewhere, Mel leaned in, whispering,

“Where have you fucking been?”

Jaz pursed her lips and shrugged. “Fucking somewhere else.”

“Say a word next time you choose to disappear into the nether,” Mel rolled her eyes. “Leon went to find you.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, didn’t you see him?”

The lie left her lips smoothly. “Not at all.”

“I bet he went to get something that makes this shit a little more fun,” Everett threw in from the other side of Mel. “He could have said something, at least. I would have joined him.”

Jaz bit the insides of her cheek. “No doubt about that.”

“Diversion can be found in the strangest of places, if you only look for them, my friend.” 

Leon had appeared behind them, having come from the opposite entrance of the one Jaz had come through. His smile was level as he slipped into his seat but the way his lips twitched as his eyes grazed Jaz wasn’t lost on her. 

Everett’s look seemed to say ‘I told you so’ but Jaz only sipped on her champagne, eyes pointedly trained at the stage. Trying not to smirk, she spun the hairpin Leon had pressed into her palm beneath the table between her fingers.

Award shows truly were her favourites. 

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As promised, I do deliver @drinkyoursoupbitch. Thank you @flareshin for being my favourite helpful artist friend.