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simp-ly-writes · 1 year ago

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Lasting Pictures: Up and Under (pt.2)

Pairing: Poly!Task Force 141 x Photographer!Reader

Summary: Signing the papers was one thing, actually going back and doing the work was another. Memories come hurling back at you as you try and navigate this new lifestyle while getting to know the members of your new task force- some warm up quicker to you than others but are your trials all for nothing? Or maybe, just maybe this new start has other possibilities for you as well....

Warnings: 4952 words, Slow burn, heavy imagery of anxiety attack and PTSD, descriptions of blood and swearing.

A/N: Hey ya'll thank you all so much for all the love on the first post, weird to see so many people liking my shitty writing. Anyways! todays chapter is dedicated to my fellow stranger @cosychick who made this chapter possible (TYSM again, seriously). On another note... I may have written a lot again... and have an outline for many more chapters... hope you guys enjoy this next part! let me know what you think~

Masterlist | Taglist | edited.

Lasting Pictures Series Masterlist

The cheers surrounding the room are soon put to an end as the boys soon get ordered to return back to their duties on base as you and Gabby stay behind with Laswell. She opens your file on the table, flipping towards the back as she comments on your years of leave from the military. Your task force had all been promoted within the ranks and some were found less on field and more in strategy. You smiled at this newfound information, as it slightly fell when Laswell said how poorly they took your leave and lack of communication afterwards while tailing off on a few names that have you blinking your eyes quickly.

The room falling quiet once more, Gabby grasps your hand in her own- rubbing small circles into the back of it in an effort to comfort you. You squeeze it twice in response; awaiting Laswell to continue her commentary as a knock can be heard coming from the door, Price enters then closes it behind himself as he takes his seat back beside Laswell with his own paperwork in hand and places it on the table. He motions with a flick of his wrist for you guys to continue as he grabs for a pair of glasses and takes the lid of a pen off; beginning to flip through the sheets, signing every few pages while referencing others. Laswell continues to speak while opening a second file with your polaroid clipped to the front.

“Has your body fully healed from the incident?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“Do you still take medication for it or any other symptoms you have experienced as a result?”

“Yes I do”

Laswell hums in response, flickering to the next page as you lightly sigh in relief and Gabby comments, “May I speak freely?”

“You may”

“They have made a full recovery, I made sure of it before contacting them…” Gabby looks over at you, happiness is found in her squished cheeks from smiling so brightly as she drops your hand to reach over the table for your papers, “...I recommend still going through with the fitness regulation test for formal qualities- but they would pass easily nonetheless.”

Price decides to lift his head and joins the conversation once more, “some practice missions with 141 before sending directly to the field would be of value to us all as well. Time is limited- I know-”

You smile slightly at his addition, nodding your head in agreement before finishing his sentence, “but a little team building never hurt nobody” you tease lightly back as John matches your smile before returning back to the work at hand. Gabby leans over, clearing her throat loudly to whisper in your ear, “So what type of team building do you have planned~?”

Swatting her away while covering your cheeks from your blush, John chuckles to himself as you shrink into your sweater, cursing Gabby mentally as Laswell gives you all a tisk with a small smile gracing its way across her features; her tone lightening.

“You will get along great with the team, Dice, from what I read and see here today. 0-700 tomorrow for your assessment and I want you to move on to base with the rest of the team temporarily to redevelop your skills for the imminent future. Deployment is set for two weeks from now. That is all, thank you both” Laswell finishes, collecting her belongings before tapping Price on the shoulder on her way out.

Stacking the papers into a neat pile; he looks between you and Gabby before sliding an unsigned document, tapping his finger to where he wants you to sign and handing you his pen. Glancing down at it, its weight is surprisingly heavy and the small engraving of 141 on the lid has you smiling, you look over the page- reading through each clause before signing your name at the bottom and sliding it back with a sigh.

Gabby slaps your shoulder with yet another cheer as she calls for drinks tonight that has you shaking your head at the idea. “I have my assessment in the morning scales, can’t be going out and doing that just yet.”

“Lame” Gabby states back childishly before asking if you wanted a drive back, you smile thankfully at this as you begin to stand from your seat. Knees a bit weak from staying in the same position for too long. Yet as your hand hovers over the door handle, a small call out from the table has you turning back to face your new captain.

“Welcome to the team Y/N”

“Thank you Captain”

Keys swing around Gabbys finger as you both make your way towards the parking lot at the back of the base. Walking through the halls and across the pavement; viewing all the helicopters and equipment tucked nearly away has memories sending goosebumps across your skin, nerves and excitement mixing together in your anxiety driven cocktail as you follow in Fish’s shadow.

Gabby clicks the small device twice as the car flashes its lights with a small honk. Yet as you begin to enter the vehicle a calling out of your name from another car has you smacking your head against the roof of the car and eliciting a loud groan as you rub the spot gently, turning to face whomever got you into this state.

Gaz smiles apologetically from the rolled-down window as he asks if you want help tomorrow moving your stuff on to base, he mentioned that your new captain already sent a message to the infamous groupchat you had yet to be added to. Smiling at the man's kindness you accept as he asks for your number. Walking up to his car, exchanging phones; you place your name alone in his as Gaz places a petrol symbol for himself that has you giggling when you read it. Tapping the top of his car in a sign of goodbye, he drives through the gates and away.

Turning back you see Gabby leaned against the car with a cheeky grin, “do I need to report anything to the council already, lieutenant?”

“Yet?! Do you honestly think I am getting with any of them, or that they would have any interest in all of this shit?” You reply while flinging your hands up and down your body, emphasising your statement.

“Well.. you and Soap looked to be getting cosy…”

“I needed physical comfort, you know this”

“Mmhmm”

“Gabby! I swear to god-”

“Mmhmm”

“Even with my last team, we almost never did any of that shit”

“Almost?” She teases back.

“Not like that Gabs! ugh!”

Gabby does not bother to listen to anymore of your protests as she hops backs into the vehicle, the engine roaring to life as you sit yourself into the passengers side with a huff, buckling your seatbelt before helping her to check the blindspots and give directions back to your place.

The drive back is peaceful after the hellish day you have had. Gabby flipped you off while driving away as your neighbour complained about hearing your cat moving about your apartment too loudly. Apologising you turned the key in the hole and entered, the space was dark with a small candle coming from the kitchen. Cursing to yourself for leaving it unattended, blowing it out you called for Spoons to make sure he didn’t hurt himself from it.

Checking the cat over in your arms and sighing out in relief, you hunched down slightly so they could move to your shoulders and motioned to get their medication before you started the debate of ordering in or cooking dinner for yourself. Opening the fridge you cursed to find it empty, resting your forehead against its metal door to cool your head, you felt for your phone the jean pocket as Spoons meows loudly in your ear.

Placing him on the counter and closing the door with your foot, you order delivery and feel for your wallet; walking yourself back into the living and falling onto the cushioned seat, feet pressed atop the coffee table as you threw a weighted blanket over yourself and turned the television on. Doctor Who played across the screen as you chucked at their antics and companions' poorly timed jokes, the doorbell ringing and a tip being served before you switched to the VOD for the football game.

Your team was losing severely as you whisper-yelled at the screen, afraid of getting a thorough beating from your elderly neighbour. You flicked it off before it finished and noticed that your plate was empty. Placing the containers in the fridge and washing your dishes in the sink, you see Spoons sleeping on the half-wall separating your kitchen from the dining room. Their belly turned upwards as light snores exited their body. Snapping a quick picture to show Ghost in the morning, you began your nightly routine.

Showering, brushing and flossing your teeth, alongside applying your moisturizers. You shuffled underneath the covers while doing some last minute scrolling through your phone. Rolling your eyes when you saw the endless stream of reels being sent from Gabbys personal account that had you switching your ringer off and placing it on to charge. Setting your alarm clock to sound you closed your eyes as your body jerked throughout the night, awaking in a cold sweat as only a few hours had passed before doing your best at returning back to sleep.

The loud sound of ringing gradually made its way across your ears as you groaned and blindly reached over to turn it off; you ended up swatting it off the nightstand, the loud crash had you sitting upright from the sound of it smacking against the hardwood floors. Being stubborn to get out of bed just yet, you reach across the room to pick it up and shut it up. Falling back into the covers you reach for your phone and smile seeing your parents’ name in the notifications, they wish you a strong return back with a string of emojis that has you shaking your head while replying, slightly regretting for introducing them to that submenu on the keyboard.

Stretching and rolling out your yoga mat, you do our daily exercises before setting the kettle to boil and heading for a quick shower. The mirror clouds over as you draw a small heart across its surface while scrolling for just the right song to start getting ready to.

Coming back out- refreshed you dig through the back of your closet to find parts of your old uniform that you didn’t have the heart to send down to the storage rooms. Placing it across your frame and looking at yourself in the foyer mirror. A tear slides itself down your cheek as you swiftly wipe it away. Spoons soon comes between your legs pawing to be fed as you lightly smile down at them.

Apologizing to your furry friend, you give them their daily medication and head out the door, to your car in the underground parkade. 06:10 reads on the dash as you drive back to the base from memory. While at a light you start a call with Gabby, hoping that she would fess up to what types of testing you will go through today, yet she gave you nothing much to your dismay other than some teasing as usual.

“Did you end up talking to Gaz more last night when you exchanged numbers?”

“No, I talked to my parent though.”

“Oh! I miss them, are they still single?”

“Gabs I swear-”

“Hey! Just an honest question…”

“Sure, sure.”

“Are you here yet?”

“Almost, about a block away”

“Okay good.”

“Everything al’right?”

“Oh yeah, Soap just keeps telling me I'm no fun now that he’s met you, butthurt honestly.”

“Well I have always been the funnier one.”

“Thanks, just what I needed to hear.”

“You know me- social skills, simply perfection…” you end with a giggle in your voice, “...okay im at the gate now, see you in a few.”

Pulling the car into an empty parking spot, you ended the call while hauling your work bag with your camera inside over your shoulder from the passenger's seat and take your metal water bottle with you. Locking the car with a click you walked towards the main building and picked yourself up a new badge. Wincing at your picture, you hide it in your jacket pocket as you make your way down the hall and towards the locker rooms to put your stuff down.

Taking in a deep breath, you made your way out to the fields and saw everyone standing in a circle, speaking in hushed tones before halting at the sounds of your footsteps nearning. Giving the group a small wave, Gabby came over and wished you luck with a large hug and kiss against your cheek before returning back to her duties. Laswell stood to the side, clipboard in hand as she began to look at her watch, anxious to begin and return to her stack of files as well.

Soap speedily walks his way over to you, clapping a hand on your shoulder and pulling you in to his side, he wishes you good luck and a few other words told in his native tongue that you didn’t quite catch before Ghost is shouting across the field, in what would appear an aggressive tone to any new listener.

“English, Jonny”

“Fuckin’ Britts you lot”

“Hey you! Don't assume my nationality you prick”

Soap looks at you wide-eyed and apologetically as words and curses fall out of his mouth like a waterfall. Gaz can he heard chucking off to the side as you pat Soaps shoulder and tell him that you were just pulling his leg. He nods his head and sighs out in relief while looking up towards the grey skies. Making your way over to greet the Captain and Ghost, they both offer you a firm handshake once more as you provide a wide smile back before heading towards Gaz sitting on a nearby bench beside Laswell.

Sitting beside him, he starts making small talk and eventually asks what you are doing directly after this. Looking towards Laswell she shrugs and reminds you of the team-building you promised to do before calling you to the starting line. Gaz makes a quick note for you to continue your conversation later as he shouts you a good luck as you make your way away. He sits up from the bench and moves to stand beside Simon and the others in line to the side.

Nearing the starting line, you notice a series of vertical obstacles ranging from a rope climb, an outstanding rock wall and a fence hop. Leaning your body to the side, you look further down to see a tire you will need to push alongside a series of pylons lining a large section of the tarmac. A long run, how great after all of that.

Shaking your head of the negativity, you closed your eyes and evened your breathing before sending Laswell a nod of your head, ready to tackle this course to the best of your ability. The sound of a shout coming from the Station Chief has your body moving faster than your mind as you hoist yourself up the rope and jump down to the other side.

Your body wavers slightly upon impact yet as soon as your knees steady once more you are running up the rock wall to boost yourself up, skipping half of it as you hear Gaz praising your technique while waiting running to wait for you on the other side. Using your feet and hands, you slip slightly from the lack of gloves or chalk before running down the ramp on the other side. Next you are sprinting over to hop over three sizes of fences as Soap claps loudly at the end telling you how many obstacles you have left.

Smiling to yourself in a layer of sweat, you side-hop the last small fence before whipping your forehead with the backside of your arm and collapse yourself to the floor in low crawl under the wire frames above. The mud finds its way into your boots and underneath your fingernails as you sigh happily at its cool texture on your skin.

Nearing the end you look ahead of yourself to see the long awaited large tire sitting flush against the ground. Picking yourself up to stand and shaking your hands violently while running over, you heave it up with a large grunt and push it to fall. Completing these repetitive actions tenfold before showing the tire over the designated cones. The long awaited run now awaited you as Price praised you with a large smile, yours matching his own as your feet began to pick up pace once more, now desperately trying to reach the end of the course in time.

The soon becomes in view as you see Laswell standing there, stopwatch in hand as Gabby appears beside her, jumping enthusiastically and pointing at your approaching frame. This momentarily distracts you from the pain you are feeling throughout your body as it takes everything in you to run the last quarter mile.

Yet as you near, the shouting of all your awaiting squad members, the sound of your blood pumping through your ears and your laboured breaths has you faltering slightly as your world spins and the finish line is closer than ever before.

Memories cloud over your senses as you can feel the sweat dripping off your neck and down your back. The feeling of cold metal combing itself against your skin has you shivering in your overheated state as your stomach begins to turn itself outwards.

You don’t notice yourself running across the finish line and slightly pass before a pair of arms wrap themselves around your frame and hold you steady as they shake your shoulders in an effort to make you become present.

You can feel a distant hand running circles on to your lower back as they brush the hair out of your eyes and behind your ears before resting their hand against your forehead, checking your temperature while making a hand motion in the other as the sounds of multiple boots rushing over have you swaying in their hold and holding your stomach as you kneel over. Knees falling to the pavement as you collapse on to your side. Eyes blurry as you see the rough contours of faces shaking your legs and holding your chin before they push you into recovery position as you throw up your guts on to someone's boots.

Apologising subconsciously in a gravel filled tone. The sounds of cries over power your being as you shrink into yourself, tears falling. But soon enough you feel laying down beside you as they tug you over and point to the clouds in the sky while you rub your eyes. The multiple pairs of eyes on you have fallen significantly as you take in a large breath and whip your eyes and cheeks with the back of your hand.

Looking over to your left you see Gabby staring at you smiling, remenist to what you would do as kids in your backyard, making stories out of all the clouds above and promises of your futures together. How times have changed as the pavement burned itself against the back of your head that still felt a bit fuzzy and your hands shook slightly against your sides.

As Gabby directs you to copy her breathing and calls for your bag to be brought over while searching for your medication side, she asks softly if you remember to take some yesterday. Eyes going wide you shake your head and groan to yourself while placing the back side of your hand to rest against your forehead, shielding your eyes from the sun beginning to poke its way through the clouds.

Doing your best to hoist yourself to a sitting position, your frame wobbles slightly as Gabby rapidly turns her body around and her face turns into horror. Her hands are filled as she watches you sway and almost crash your head against the tarmac once more yet thankfully an arm had you hoisted up against their side as they joined you on the floor.

Smiling over to Gaz thankfully he rubbed your shoulder and Gabby kneeled down to hand you a cup of water and a few pills. Looking at them in your hand, shuffling them slightly in your palm you threw them into your mouth, tipping your head back consciously as the water made its way down your system.

Gaz then handed you a pack of crackers that were obviously from an MRE. You winched in reaction that had Gaz giggling at your face before it fell when Fish just about punched him to remove it. Shaking your head slightly at the two and telling Gaz you know he meant nothing poor of it, you begin to take small bites out of the cracker while looking around to find where everyone else went.

As you stare down the field, you see Laswell and Price in a heated argument as the boys stand to his side, a few grand hand gestures are made as Soap flings his arms around wildly, almost hitting Ghost in the face that has him holding his limbs still so the Captain can focus.

Looking towards Gaz once more you ask simply, “Hey Gaz…” He hums to you in reply while his focus is on making sure that you continue to eat, “...Shouldn’t you be down there listening to what Laswell and Price have to say?”

“I think something more important came up that held my attention”

As you move to apologise, Gaz holds his other hand up slightly as you pause your next words. His eyes crinkle slightly as he stares eye level into your own, your mouth opens slightly at the sight of his smile so close to your face, yet you shake your head blaming it on all the anxiety still coursing its way through your system.

“Sometimes all we need is to sit down with someone so that the world can figure itself out.”

You humm in reply as clears her throat softly as you both jerk your bodies in reaction, forgetting her presence in front of you. She shakes her head and chuckles lightly at both of your reactions before saying, “what about some words of wisdom for yours truly, Garrick?” While fluttering her eyelashes.

Rolling your eyes you can’t help but chuckle at your best friends seemingly never ending sass as you ask, “Garrick?” While tilting your head to the side, staring at Gaz’s profile as he simply explains that it's his last name and you nod to this newfound information.

“My full name is actually Kyle “Gaz” Garrick”

“Kyle Garrick” You test the name out upon your lips as he gives you once of his famous smiles once more while squeezing your shoulder.

“My name sounds a whole lot better while coming out from between your lips”

Gasping at his comment, you blush widely in response while holding your cheeks with the palms of your hand in an effort to hide your growing embarrassment. Groaning while leaning forward, your head falls into Gabbys lap as she laughs once more at you while combing her fingers through your hair as Gaz slides his hand to rest against your back.

Mumbling in Gabbys secure hold about his touch not helping your state. You hear a loud laugh as he reacts with his hand apologising. The lack of his touch as you question the equally relieved and disappointed emotions flashes across your brain. Yet this bubble of a moment would soon be broken as the rest of the team returned around you.

Everyone eventually sat down on the pavement that had you mentally giggling to yourself, the ghost of a smile makes its way across your features as you notice the formation you all have made is reminiscent of the duck, duck, goose game.

Soap soon leans over to whisper in your ear, “tag, you’re it” while poking your shoulder jokingly. Wincing in an exaggerated manner has Soap quickly asking if you alright as you smile kindly in response, “I’m feeling a lot better now, thank you Soap”

He nods back in response before shifting his focus to Gaz, eyeing how close he is sitting against you now all the more obvious as Gabby moved herself to sit between Laswell and Ghost. Yet making no comments on his observations that has relief spreading across your skin. You did not need anymore teasing.

Looking back around the circle yourself, you notice as the Captain does a quick look over of you before nodding his head in approval and turning his attention towards Laswell who appears to be choosing their next words carefully as you feel Ghosts gaze settling hot against your profile.

Tilting your head slightly, you notice how he plays with his gloves and how soft his eyes appear behind the mask as if asking you a simple question to your state. Offering a small smile and nod in recognition you watch out of the corner of your eye as his fidgeting stops and he too eyes Laswells next words.

Clearing her throat, her eyes make their way around the circle and stop at you, “you have done well today Y/L/N, flying colours for the obstacle course and impressive return I must add. Yet after today…” Her sentence drifts off as she lacks the words necessary to continue, looking over to Price for help.

The Captain holds your eyes softly in his own as he finishes for Laswell, “from discussions earlier and your best interests in mind, Laswell and the team have decided that we won’t be putting you on attack for now.” A large sigh escapes your mouth as you feel conflicted on how to feel about not fully coming back.

Price continues, “until then you come with us on missions to gather intelligence for Fish under our watch.”

“I understand sir” you respond back, doing the best to hide your emotion in your voice as you see Soap shift himself closer to your side in noticing your slight change in tone. Your eyes are still being held by the captains as you see his eyes wince slightly at your response before his face returns to its professional state.

Slapping his hands against his knees with a throat clearing he stands up from the sitting circle and dismisses the meeting, turning around and walking his way back inside the main building. Laswell follows suit, dragging Gabby alongside her while they both compare paper-workloads.

Gabby turns around mouthing an apology for leaving so soon as you look back and see Ghost is now a bit further away with Soap as they appear to be chatting seriously over something together before Ghost locks him into a headlock. Shaking your lead and looking away all you hear are the sounds of them scraping one another in the background as you find Kyle waiting to ask you something.

“Do you want me to come over tonight?” Kyle questions softly while tilting his head, awaiting your response.

“To come over?”

“Oh ah-apologies, I meant to move your things temporarily on base”

“Oh,” You laugh lightly while shaking your head of the drifting thoughts you were having, “...yeah some help would be great Kyle! Thank you so much for the offer once more.”

“It's really nothing Y/N.”

“Still…”

“Well, how about after you treat me to some coffee together the day after?”

“I like the sound of that,” You say while doing your best to hide the ever growing smile spreading its way across your rosy cheeks as you notice Gaz smiling back at your adorable self.

“Why do you get to call Gaz by their first name and not me?! I thought I was your favorite based upon yesterday, what has this British man done to your head beauty?” Soap cries out while quickly walking back over to you as Ghost is nowhere to be seen.

Your head throws back in laughter as your shoulders rise and fall in swift motions. Gaz shakes his head at his squad member, shoving his shoulder lightly from around your frame with the hint of a smile tugging at the ends of his lips. While Soap remains completely serious in the matter, grabbing your shoulders lightly to make sure you are facing him when you respond.

“Okay then Soap…” Your voice deepens teasingly at the mention of his callsign “...so what would you like me to call you?”

You watch as his eyebrows raise and a smirk slides its way across his features that has you already groaning, predicting what he is going to say as you can hear Kyle laughing behind you at the interaction.

“Mhmm, well there are a number of things I would love you to call me…” You roll your eyes at this comment, “...Yet for now let's stick to Johnny.”

“Johnny?”

“You got it, Johnny.”

“Can’t promise I can say it with a scottish accent like you do”

“Humor me”

“Please don’t make me.”

“Just once, c'mon, promise not to record this one…”

“This one!”

“Oh shit.”

“Oh shit is right, Johnny” You respond in a horrible Scottish accent that has Soap reeling with laughter as he grips your shoulder and pulls you into a hug as Gaz laughs harder in the background. The flash of a camera can be heard as you call pause to face the sound to see Ghost pocketing his phone inside his black hoodie.

╰┈➤ A/N: so... what did you guys think? Have a favorite member so far? Thank you serious for reading all of this lol.

Lasting Pictures Series Masterlist

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xoxo-author · 1 year ago

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A book romance kind of thing

Hey ya'll! I'm back with some shitty writing! I have been having such writer's block when it comes to writing, especially my Jake Seresin series but I sat down to write and this little thing came out so! I've decided to expand my writing and start to write about all of the men I am obsessed with... Maybe that will help with the writer's block and I can get back to my Jake Seresin series! Anywho, enjoy!

Gif not mine, credit to owner

Noah Sebastian x FemReader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex(but like not really), my writing as always

Also please don’t steal my work…

"Drinking at one o'clock in the afternoon? You really have reached rockstar status!"

Noah's head snaps up, eyebrows furrowing in confusion before a smile ultimately takes up his whole face once he realizes that it was me.

I smile back as I start a little jog towards him, letting my bag drop once I am close enough and throw my arms around his neck. Noah, careful not to spill his drink, bends and tightly wraps his arms around my waist.

Bending his knees a bit, Noah tightens his grip around my waist and lifts me off the floor before turning around to face the way he came and walking a few steps before sitting me down on a little wall ledge, "What're you doing here?"

"There's this band called Bad Omens, people say they're cool so I thought I'd check them out."

Noah shakes his head, "You wouldn't like their music."

I shrug before taking the cup from his hand and bringing it up to my lips, almost gagging as the amber liquid touched my tongue, "Oh my god, that's awful."

Noah laughs, taking the cup from me and setting it to the side, placing his palms on the surface on either side of me, "No seriously, what're you doing here?"

"Honestly?"

He nods and I let out a sigh, beginning to play with my fingers that sat in my lap, "Jolly called me, he said that you seemed a little off. That you didn't seem like yourself, even when tour started. Jolly said that you wouldn't talk about it, always saying that nothing was wrong. The boys can't figure it out so Jolly asked if I knew but as far as I knew everything was fine. Jolly finally asked me if I would just come out to either cheer you up or fix what it is that's going on." I tilt my head as I look at him, "So tell me what's going on in that mind of yours."

Noah lets out a sigh before letting his head fall to my thighs, my hands automatically going to his hair. "It's so stupid but I cannot talk about it because if I do then I will be distracted the whole night and I'll be shit on stage."

I had never seen Noah rattled before. He was always so calm and collected both on and off stage. It seemed like nothing could ever throw him off his game so whatever it was, must be big.

Pulling my hands out of his hair, I place my hands on his shoulders and gently push him so he could stand up straight and look at me, "In that case, why don't we go put my bag away and then you take me to a merch stand so I can get a shirt and we can hang out until you have to go on? We can deal with this later."

He nods his head and helps me down from the ledge, grabbing my bag as begin to walk towards their tour bus, "Don't you have a million Bad Omen shirts?"

"Um, I don't have one from this tour!"

****

I felt Noah shift behind me for what felt like the thousandth time.

Don't get me wrong, tour buses aren't all that comfortable and I'm sure it's hard when the bed is barely big enough to fit someone's tall frame, but this bunk bed was so much more comfortable than previous ones. Now it could be because I have had a very long day but I all but passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Noah lets out a sigh as he flops onto his back.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

I shake my head, momentarily forgetting that it was pitch black and he couldn't see, "No but will you tell me what's keep you awake? Is it what's throwing you off?"

It was silent for a few minutes and I was beginning to think that he had, finally, fallen asleep, but he sighs, his raspy voice whispering in the dark, "It's a fucking dream."

"What?"

"The night before our first show I had this dream and now every time I close my eyes, even if it's just to fucking blink, I see it. I think about it constantly and I just can't get it out of my head long enough to focus. Fuck, even when I'm out on stage I think about it. "

I roll onto my stomach and push myself to rest on my forearms, "Was it a nightmare?"

"It was a fucking sex dream. Well, it started off as a sex dream, with you and I, which whatever, I've had those multiple times, but then it morphed into something more. One minute you and I were going at it, it was great by the way, and then it switched, and all of a sudden we were going on dates, getting married, having babies, growing old, being dumb as hell together."

Pushing my weight to one arm, I move my hand to grab his arm, "Noah it was just a dream."

I could feel him shake his head, "No it wasn't. I thought that at first too but then I realized that it's what I want. It's like those cliche romance books you read where the two best friends fall in love. I fell in love with my best friend and that dream just sent me over the edge because I want that with you. I want to take you out, be able to hold your hand, and touch your butt in public. I want to do the absolute dumbest shit with you by my side. I want to ride out the rest of this music shit with you by my side. I want to get married and put so many babies in you. I want to grow old with you."

Noah's hand comes in contact with my jaw, his thumb gently tracing over my skin, "I'm sorry if I've ruined everything."

Shaking my head, I pushed myself up until I was half on his chest with my nose brushing his, "You didn't ruin anything."

Noah takes a beat before letting out a puff of air, hand wrapping around the back of my neck and pulling me forward, smashing his lips against mine.

It was odd at first, kissing your best friend of years, but that quickly faded into something more passionate.

Pulling apart, "I don't think we should have babies right now but why don't we practice making them?"

Letting out a low chuckle, Noah situates me until I am on my back and he is resting in between my legs, "I like the sound of that."

#Noah Sebastian #Bad Omens #Noah Sebastian x reader #Noah Sebastian x y/n #Noah Sebastian imagine #Bad Omens Fic #Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian Fanfic #Bad Omens Fanfic #Bad Omens x reader #Bad Omens x y/n

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seaouidbabyx · 7 days ago

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1000 BLUNTS. || Dealer!MATT STURNIOLO X F!READER.

Hey, ya'll, I am so sorry for being so inactive. I really couldn't help it. I've moved jobs, started training, and things. I start my work day at 7:30 and end at 5 PM, and by the time I get home, I am just exhausted, lol. I decided to write something with Matt, including $B. This also might be based on a dream I had about Scrim, LOL.

PAIRING: Dealer!SlightlyOlder!Matt Sturniolo x F!Stoner!Reader

WARNINGS: Drug Use (obviously, it's only weed though. Nothing too serious, if this is not for you, scroll away!) Unprotected sex. (don't do this guys), fingering, oral sex, high sex, dirty talk, degrading and praise kinks, one use of (Y/N). Appearance of Chris as a lil brother in this lol.

SUMMARY: In which reader and dealer! Matt finds comfort within each other. There is just something about weed, soft moments and sex that could pair anyone together, but not as perfectly as these two.

NOTES: I KNOW IT'S LONG, I CAN'T HELP IT LOL. Guys, as a fellow stoner, this is like my dream LMAO. This is rated 18+ so if you are below that, scroll away! This is not meant for you. This is purely fictional, and something I fantasize about, if you like it, or want more of it, please leave some love down below! This did take a long time to write, and it is long so bare with me if there are any mistakes, but there is nothing better than soft love with Matt.

My heart was pounding like it always was when I'm here, I was waiting outside of the shitty apartment on the 3rd floor of an even shittier building. I could hear the sound of the trains running on the tracks behind the building, the sand grains falling from the walls with a hiss and the hooters of cars trying to follow through with traffic on the highway nearby. I looked at my car parked in the fairly empty parking lot below, next to a black SUV. The black car looked so nice and new, and severely out of place. I shifted the weight of my tote bag on my shoulder as it was now becoming uncomfortable. Knowing I was probably going to be staying the night, I brought some necessities from home. This apartment might be shitty, but the person inside definitely wasn't.

My hand raises to knock on the dark green door, the golden number 3 that had rusted screws almost mocking me and reminding me of where I was and what I am doing. Usually, I call Matt to meet at my house or a park closer to my house so I can get some weed, and maybe a few pre-rolls as well. However, I had gotten into a huge fight with my mother, and when I had looked in my pink mini satchel to see if I could just smoke away my problem, there was nothing but an empty fabric bag looking back at me. I decided it would be better for me to just take a drive, I did not want to be in that house.

Ive been to Matt's apartment many times before, we had chilled after he offered to take me with him on some of his runs. It had built a relationship between us, yet we were not together. Just closer than platonic friends if that makes sense.

"Listen, Kid, you don't tell anyone about this 'right?" He said, putting a blunt between his lips and lighting it with my bedazzled pink lighter. We had sat on his balcony outside, the sun was just settling beyond the horizon. We sat next to each other on two chairs outside, my bare legs were across his jean-clad ones. "What, the fact that you took me on some runs, or that you are using my pink sparkly lighter?" I teased, taking the joint from his fingers and putting it between my lips. I looked over at Matt, his tattoo-covered arm and hands were resting on my leg as he was fiddling with the pink object. He winked at me, blowing out the smoke and sitting in silence, settling more into his chair as his hands started rubbing small circles, one on my thigh and one on my calf.

Before I could reminisce on further memories, the door was opened partly as the chain lock was holding shut, showing his gorgeous face adorned with a suspicious look and a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. It then quickly changed to a look of surprise. "Ma!" He quickly shouted, closing the door, unlocking the chain and opening the door fully. It revealed Matt standing there with black loose jeans, white sneakers, a white tee and freshly washed hair. He opened up his arms, letting me into the apartment with a smile.

I smiled at him, "Sorry for dropping in like this, I didn't want to be at that house." I said, walking down the passage and down into the living room. I heard him spit the excess toothpaste into the kitchen sink, before coming to join me. I stood awkwardly, looking around the living room. Not much has changed since I was last here, the two chairs are still outside. There are bags of weed sitting on his coffee table, along with other white substances, as well as dollar bills. They sat amongst cherry rizzla and my pink lighter that was placed neatly to the side.

"No need to explain (Y/N), you know you are always welcome here." He spoke, coming to stand next to me before moving to sit and stretch himself across his black couch. He placed his foot on the edge of the coffee table, picking up a pre-rolled blunt before lighting it with my pink lighter and tapping the space next to him. I placed my bag on the floor, sliding off my sandals before moving to sit next to Matt. His eyes followed my actions. Until I was sitting right next to him, his thigh touching mine as I tucked my feet under me. He passed me the joint before leaning forward and shuffling between the different strains before turning to look at me over his shoulder. "Alright, what d'ya want kid?" His blue eyes never left mine, sending shivers down my spine. My face had begun to flush, embarrassingly so.

"Will you let me pay for it this time?" I said, reaching for my tote bag on the floor, but he grabbed my wrist before I could even touch the fabric straps. He has now turned to face me, "You know I am not gonna let you pay for anything kid, I mean I smoke this shit too." He let go of my wrist and moved back to the table, avoiding eye contact as he picked up a bag with a purple-ish bundle of weed inside. "Matt!" I whined, rolling my eyes before moving closer to see what he was doing, placing my head on my chin on his shoulder as I peered over him to look at the table in front of us. He shook the bag back and forth, before moving some into a smaller bag, along with the pink rolling papers. He opened my tote bag, placing the weed and the paper in. He looked up and winked at me once again, a smirk on his face.

He then put the blunt we were smoking earlier back into his mouth, leaning back and relaxing against the back of the couch. I grabbed the pink lighter from his hand before he could bring it up and light it. He looked at me curiously, watching my every move again. I leaned closer to him, almost as if I were to straddle him, but I kept to my respectful side and placed my hand around the joint, lighting it for him. He breathed in, inhaling the smoke and I watched as his blue eyes grew heavier. I took the joint from his lips and placed it in between mine, inhaling the potent herb. I looked down at him, a small smile slash smirk on my face as I took in his appearance.

As I released the smoke from my lungs, he grabbed my left thigh and pulled me over his lap. My white dress had bunched up around my hips, my bare thighs now almost fully on display next to his jean-clad ones. My face flushed embarrassingly so, but it really shouldn't as this happened more often than one would think. He placed his hands on my thighs, looking up at me with a smile. I could feel his warm hands and cold rings against my ever-heating skin. "Where were you going before I got here?" I asked, holding the blunt between my two fingers, my left hand resting on his shoulder. He kept his eyes on mine, his hands rubbing soothingly up and down my thighs, the tips of his fingers going under the hem of my dress. "Nowhere now." He mumbled, lifting his chin as if he was asking for another pull.

I placed the joint between his lips once again, rolling my eyes. "Don't lie to me Sturniolo," I playfully teased, moving my hands to rest on his chest. He took the joint out from his mouth, his eyes now becoming a reddish tint. They probably looked similar to mine. "I am not going to lie, I was going to do a few runs and then make my way over to you Princess." He moved his free hand to caress my cheek, making me blush tenfold. I leaned into his touch, these moments were my favourite. The soft, intimate ones. "I'm sorry, you can still go on your runs. If you want me to, I can go back home." I said, feeling a bit insecure about stopping him from making money and doing his runs.

I looked down at my lap but was quickly forced to look back at the blue eyes I had fallen in love with as his fingers held the point of my chin up to meet his gaze. "You know I'd never do that kid, I want you. I want you to stay here." I smiled softly, matching his soft look. "I could kiss you, you're way too sweet to me Matty," I said, playing with the ends of his curls behind his neck where my hands rested. The sun had now settled, and the only sort of light was the moon that had begun to rise as well as the street lights from outside.

I leaned forward, placing my lips just barely above his and loving the way his hands had moved from my thighs to my hips. "I want to stay here," I whispered. He looked up at my eyes once again before fluttering them closed and whispering back, "Please." He then placed his lips on mine, and it was like all the electricity had decided to run through my veins. I opened my mouth to let his curious tongue in, but before we could go any further, there was a huge pounding on the door.

I jumped out of my skin, pulling away from Matt like I had just been burned. His expression had turned to one of concern as he looked toward his front door. The lights still weren't on yet, so I looked at him with worry. "Come with me," He whispered, taking my hand and leading me to his bedroom. I could finally see the train tracks that I heard earlier from his bedroom window, the soft street lights were illuminating his room. He sat me down on the bed before we heard the pounding on the door again.

My heart was beating out of my chest, I gripped Matt's hand before he could move. "Who is that?" I whispered. He placed his hands on both of my cheeks and kissed me softly. He kissed me as if to say don't worry, everything will be okay. "Just stay here for me, please." He said as his lips brushed against my forehead. He then turned to leave, closing the door behind him. I felt my anxiety was at an all-time high, I brought my hands up to my face, they were shaking. The weed was bringing out the paranoia. I almost wanted to laugh.

I sat on his bed and tried my best to listen through the door. I could hear Matt's voice as he greeted the person at the door. Another voice could be heard, a deeper voice than his but similar. They continued to conversate, but by the sounds of the tone of the muffled voices, it was still quite tense. This information did nothing to calm my heart down.

"What the hell Chris! Where have you been? Why are you here?" I heard Matt's voice begin to rise, along with my fear. Chris, Chris... Why does that name sound so familiar to me? The other voice, or now Chris had responded. "C'mon man, I'm your brother. Can't you just spot me this one time?" This muffled voice came closer to the door, and my heart started beating faster. He also blatantly ignored Matt's question about where he had been. "What? No Chris, you owe me for the last 3 times I've spotted you and that doesn't answer my question!" Matt argued, their voices coming closer to the door. I could hear the little nervousness in Matt's voice as he approached the door. I watched as the doorknob twisted, opening the door and revealing the two boys. I almost wanted to laugh at the sight.

My eyes had locked on blue eyes, similar to Matt's but they didn't have enough depth as he did. Although he did look identical to Matt, I did not know he had a twin. Chris smirked, looking between Matt and me. I smiled nervously, looking at his devilish grin and then looking at Matt who smiled softly at me but turned his annoyed glare back to his brother. "Well well well, is this why you weren't answering my calls earlier?" Chris spoke, coming closer to me with a domineering smile. He put his hand out for me to shake, and although my anxiety had calmed down significantly, I was still hesitant to shake his hand.

I glanced at Matt, who had his gaze trained on our hands as I shook Chris's. I blushed furiously, looking up at the brothers. "Well, what's your name, Angel?" Chris asked, pulling my hand to his face and placing a kiss on my knuckles. I looked away, mumbling my name to him. He retreated to the door frame where Matt had stood, standing silently, the intense energy was radiating, and as much as I should be scared of him, I couldn't help but stare at his serious demeanour and clench my thighs together just a little bit. Chris had strolled through the house, taking a smaller bag of weed and bid his brother goodbye. I could hear them arguing as they made their way back to the front door.

I stood in the doorway of Matt's bedroom (more like leaning on it), watching him come in. He closed the door in a huff, making his way back to where I was standing. I watched him walk closer to me until he was directly in front of me. He looked down at me, his serious demeanour just a little bit softer as he finally looked me in the eyes. "I don't like it when people interrupt us." He sighed, placing his hand on my hip as my head leaned against the doorframe. After all that seriousness, that is what he had to say. I let out a laugh, placing a hand on his cheek and reaching up to kiss his jaw. "You know, for a dealer, you really can be such a big baby," I said, pulling away. "Just for you Princess," He softly smiled, placing a hand over mine and pulling me in the direction of the balcony.

When we walked past the coffee table, he snatched a new pre-roll as well as my pink lighter. I had grabbed a blanket off his couch as I knew the outside temperature would be cooler than usual, especially since it was a bit later into the evening. Matt had sat down on one of the large chairs on the small balcony, placing his things on the small rusty metal table between the chairs.

I made a move to walk past him and toward the open chair, before I felt his ring-clad fingers find my waist and pull me into his lap. I let out a squeak, looking at him with wild open eyes. "You could've just asked!" I said, hitting his chest and scolding him. He rolled his eyes, moving my body as if I weighed nothing to face sideways, my legs were mainly across his lap as my face hid in the crook of his neck. "Takes too long." His hands found comfort on my hip, the other one reaching for the pre-roll. We decided to smoke the new joint, equally blowing puffs into the cold air around us. I threw the blanket over both of our legs. The sun had now long set behind the horizon, but the multiple-coloured lights of the city below were enough to give us some sight. It created an atmospheric experience, adding to the tempo of our conversations. It felt natural to talk to him like we had a similar mind.

"You know, I think it's funny that you have a twin brother," I said, smiling up at him. He did that upside-down smile of his, "We're triplets, my other brother is currently in Boston visiting my parents." He spoke, I could hear the vibration of his voice in his chest. I smiled at the comforting feeling. The weed had gotten to me, "Do you like having siblings?" I asked softly, continuing the conversation. "I love them more than anything in the world," He said, placing a kiss on my temple. His hands were rubbing soothing circles onto my legs and waist once again. I smiled at the answer, but. Before I could ask another question, he answered again. "Well, maybe not anything." He gave my thigh a cheeky squeeze, but my heart soared. I moved to sit up and look up at him, seriously taking in his words.

I smiled, knowing that this was his way of telling me things. The little movements, the loving moments. I leaned down once again and pressed my lips against his once again, however this time it was more intense. The grip on my waist had tightened, pulling me closer to him as we melted into one another. I placed my tongue on his lips, and we opened it up to a deeper kiss. His hand had moved down to grab my ass once again, this time with a rough squeeze. I gasped, letting out a little moan at the feeling of his hands on my body.

I pulled away, slightly breathless and red in the face. He smirked down at me one more time, his brown curls flopping with him. I could feel him growing hard under my thigh, increasing my blush. He had placed his hand in between my thighs, dangerously high to where I needed him the most. I breathed in, a spark of confidence creeping up my spine. It must be the weed, but before I could chicken out, I placed my hand over his that was on my thigh and moved it a little closer under my dress's hem.

Matt's breath hitched in his throat, the sound causing me to look up at him with innocent eyes. His own blue eyes were hooded, looking at me with an almost desperate look. "Are you insinuating something, Princess?" He asked, moving his hand even higher, his fingers brushing the fabric of my pink panties. I squeezed my thighs just a little bit, a whine almost escaping me. The words that came out of his mouth were so hypocritical since he was looking at me like a lost puppy. I nodded innocently, my gaze looking at his hands under the blanket. He nodded against my face as he placed a kiss on my cheek, then my jaw and then my neck. Of course, I was red in the face, moving my hips slowly, trying to get any form of friction from his fingers, but not wanting to show how needy I was for him.

This movement caused him to smirk, he continued to tease me by moving his fingers gently across my fabric-covered heat, however, my arousal was making a wet patch. I blushed, covering my face with my hands. "Hey, none of that shit. Let me see how good I make you feel." He rasped against my ear. He removed his hand from under my dress, moving me so I straddled his lap once again. I rolled my eyes at his behaviour, which caused him to slap my ass. It wasn't a hard spank, but enough to leave a sting. He raised his eyebrows, with a "try me now" look before he placed his hands under my thighs and ass and stood up from the chair.

I let out a yelp as he stood, scrambling to hold onto his neck for support. "Matthew!" I shouted, letting out a laughter after. He gave me a goofy smile, one that had devious intentions behind it as he carried me inside. We stumbled a bit over my sandals before he carried me down the small apartment and the hallway into his bedroom. He had nudged the door open with his foot, before placing me on the bed. I bounced on the mattress, but Matt was quick to crowd over me, leaving me no choice but to move my weight onto my elbows. My breathing was now fast, feeling the shift of his dominating presence above me. His red, low and hooded eyes. My god, this man was going to be the death of me.

He placed his hands almost under my arms, leaning closer to me, while placing a knee between my legs. He moved to grab my jaw, pulling my face in for a hot, searing kiss. I instantly moved to kiss him back with vigour, moving my hand to run through the curls at the nape of his neck. He kissed me with force, leading us back until my back reached the mattress, and he had moved fully above me. I moved my legs, opening them up so he could slot right between them, and thank the stars I did. He let out a groan as his hips came into contact with my pink panties. The harsh jean fabric was rough but felt oh so good against my core.

He pulled away from the kiss, moving down from my lips to my jaw and neck. I let out breathy whines and moans and I whispered his name. Once his name left my lips, he looked up at me with lust-filled eyes. He sat back on his haunches, sliding his hands up the side of my thighs and under my dress's hem, before continuing to slide it up my body until it was up and over my head. My heart raced to reveal my breasts to the cold air around us, not having a bra on made my nipples harden. His gaze zeroed in on my tits before he let out a breath. "God, you are just so perfect, my pretty, pretty girl." I felt my cheeks flush, but before I even had time to respond, he placed his mouth over my right nipple, causing me to grip the sheets underneath me and let out a moan. The weed, him, it all made everything feel a little fuzzy and way more sensitive.

He continued kissing my tits, alternating from the left and right, making sure that they were equally attended to with bites, kisses and dark purple marks. My hips started moving against his, not being able to help the pleasure that was running through me. He moved his hips against mine, making me cry out his name. My fingers found his curls once again, almost pushing him away. Instead of moving away, he went lower and kissed my naval. He began running his tongue against the waistband of my panties, almost making me drool at the sight. His big blue eyes then looked up at me, slightly red as he moved my panties to the side. "This too much for you baby?" He teased, but not thinking straight, I shook my head 'no' regardless.

He smirked once again, before leaning down and placing his tongue flat against my slit. I moaned lowly, closing my eyes and rolling my head back as my fingers that remained in his hair pulled slightly. He continued licking long stripes up until he reached my clit, stimulating it with his lips and tongue. My hips started to move again as the pleasure was running through my veins like electricity. He was quick to wrap his hands around my thighs to keep my hips stable against the bed with a warning look.

"Please, Matt," I whispered into the air around us, the only sound behind the spit and slurping from where his mouth met my core. He came up, kissing me with remnants of me on his lips. "Let me take my time with you pretty, don't be needy." He teased, running his nose on the side of my jaw before placing a kiss right underneath my ear. I shivered, letting my hands roam on his skin, my nails running against his shoulders before reaching up to brush through his skin. I looked at him with big innocent eyes, and he maintained eye contact with me while he kissed down my chest and down between my legs once again. I let out a breathy moan as I watched him.

The feeling he was giving me was indescribable. Him, his tongue, the way his fingers gripped into the flesh of my thigh, the weed making everything so much fuzzier. It wasn't long before I felt his tongue back on my clit, followed by two fingers probing my entrance. I let out a gasp as he slipped his fingers in, and the pace he started had become relentless. I was a moaning mess, "Matt! B-baby please!" I whined, holding onto his wrist. He moaned, causing the vibrations to go straight through me. It had me seeing stars. I felt my stomach coil, and he started pumping at another angle, causing that coil to snap.

"C-Cummin-!" I babbled, looking down at him again, before closing my eyes and letting my orgasm wash over me. "Such a good fucking girl, arencha?" He spoke, kissing up my thighs. My chest was heaving with shallow breaths, and before I knew it, I heard the unbuckling of his jeans. He grabbed my thighs once again and pulled me down the edge of the bed. I let out a yelp, looking at him with a small smile.

His eyes softened, leaning down to kiss me. It was soft, matching the soft touch of his hands rubbing soothing patterns on my hips. "You okay there princess?" He said, barely above a whisper. I smiled, placing a hand on his jaw, before lightly tapping it. "Shut up and fuck me like you mean it." This caused him to laugh, earning a giggle from me in return.

He pulled down his black Calvin Kleins, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach. I reached to touch it, but he grabbed my wrist before I could even think. "As much as I would love that pretty, I have been wanting this for a while. If you touch me, I just know that I will not handle anything else besides you." He spoke, his voice low and his eyes hooded. I let out a whine, nodding and lying back completely. He leaned over me, his arms on both sides of my waist, kissing me softly. I kissed him back with passion, causing the kiss to become messy. I watched him lean back again, pumping himself a few times before running his pink tip against my slick folds. "So fucking wet, all for me pretty?" I moaned at the contact, my shallow breathing picking up feeling him enter me.

We both let out a breath as he sheathed himself into me, a low moan rumbling from his chest. He looked up at me, this time with a completely different look in his eyes. He kissed me softly on the shoulder, moving up to my neck. "Tell me when to move," He mumbled into my flesh, touching my body tenderly. Not being able to think straight, I nodded against him, placing kisses on the side of his face, his hair. I felt his lips curl into a smile, before I felt his hips move back. I moaned at the feeling, almost at a loss before he drove back in. I moaned, clawing at his back. He came up once more and placed one of my legs on his shoulder, holding the plush of my thigh as his pace had started to increase.

His cock filled me to the brim, feeling it turn from a slight uncomfortable pressure into pure pleasure. My moans, his moans, our shallow breaths had started to grow louder and louder. "C'mon baby, tell me how good it feels." He grumbled, his lips kissing the edge of the calf on his shoulder, while his other hand gripped and splayed across my hip. I let out a whimper, gripping the sheets below me. Biting my bottom lip, I felt my tits bounce with his pace increase as he was getting impatient with my lack of answer. "I-It," I conjured, letting out a breathy moan once again as he started hitting the perfect spot. "So, so good!" I shouted, putting a hand over my mouth to muffle it.

Matthew noticed, grabbing that hand and moving it above my head, holding it in place as he continued to fuck me silly. The hand that was on my hip, moved up my body and started rolling my pebbled nipple between his fingers. I squeezed my thighs together, feeling that familiar feeling licking up my spine. "Give it to me, Matty. Need to feel you cum in me," I moaned against his neck. He let out a rumble from his chest, kissing me, leaning into a bite on my neck. He rutted his hips into me at an incredible pace, and before I knew it, he was kissing me hotly. Teeth, tongue, moans as his hips snapped into me. I felt the coil snap, a second orgasm coming over me. This caused him to let out a loud moan, his hips were slower but harder and soon there were white ropes of him filling me up.

His panted, leaning back onto his haunches. The soft smile returned, and he pushed the hair that was sticking to my sweaty forehead away from my face. "There's my girl, let me get you cleaned up." He kissed my gently, pulling out with a hiss and walking over to the bathroom. I smiled, watching his naked butt with a giggle. "Nice ass!" I chirped, causing him to laugh. He returned with a wet rag and a glass of water and placed it on the bed side table. He moved to leave the room once again, but I grabbed his hand, turning him around to face me.

"Lay with me?" I spoke, almost whispered while pulling back the covers. Matt leaned down, kissing my forehead before crawling under the covers and lying on his back, opening his arm for me to lie on his chest.

A/N: WOW guys, this took me forever and im still not even happy w it but I'm trying to get back into writing. Tell me what you think!

🏷️ @chrispycremedonut @sturnsblogs

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #seawrites #Spotify

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foxedthecards · 20 days ago

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((Hey so here's some personal thoughts of mine about interacting with longtime writing partners-especially the ones who you consider buddies outside of rping-from me to you cause I've been thinking a whole lot about it this morning.

I've seen a lot of PSAs about RPing in general which has been all good solid advice and I have nothing really to add to it. It goes without saying I strongly agree with doing things like curating your spaces, putting yourself, your health and personal time before your hobbies, being respectful of your rp partners needs and comforts, not taking things personally etc

I would like to add though I haven't seen a lot pertaining to maintaining, nourishing and upkeeping your writing partnership and I personally really would like to see more. For me writing and rping is indeed a fun hobby and never should take precedence over one's own health or personal life. But especially with folks that I've come to know and care about outside of RPing, spending time rping and chatting with them about our OCs is also an important facet of the friendships that I maintain with them. So in light of that, my thoughts about that such as it is. Under a cut it got a bit long sorry

Make a point to let your writing partner know how much you appreciate them and the time they can give you. A lot of us have lives and work outside of tumblr. Sometimes shit happens in real life or we have to deal with things like mental health issues, disabilities, chronic illnesses and the like. All of that and more can steal the few precious spoons partners can spare. Always ALWAYS tell your partners thank you. Respect the time they can spare. You don't know what they may be struggling with. So please be kind, please be understanding and please be patient.

On that note also be excited (as much as you can manage of course) about what ya'll rp together-the plots, the ideas, the ships whatever. Please let your partner KNOW you are interested and that you care about the things ya'll are creating. Fuck cringe. If you're my writing partner by god I love for you to come busting in my DMs anytime and shove some random meme in my face or quote or some weird thing you found at the thrift store and be like 'This made me think of your OC'. Let. Them. Know. You. CARE. Obviously you don't have to be doing this every hour on the hour but let me tell you on shitty days that I've been so beat down I want to give up on everything and become a hermit, one mutual just sending me a silly little thing and being like 'look it ya OC' has sometimes made all the difference in the world.

Also please communicate clearly with your partners as much as you can manage. This is something I put as a reminder for myself too and something I'm trying very hard to be better about. I'm a neurodivergent writer, sometimes I just have real trouble trying to organize my thoughts, communicate my wants and needs and make myself understood to my partners. Especially when strong emotions get tangled up in that communication. Still if you're comfortable enough and have a good relationship with your partner, don't be afraid to approach them talk things out with them as needed. Particularly pertaining to more difficult things, be it a sensitive scene in an rp you're both trying to plot out in writing or something that was done or said in conversation that didn't sit right.

Going on that last part, I'd also say be careful and thoughtful about navigating disagreements and perceived hurts and slights. It's why it's good to always work on maintaining and strengthening a healthy separation between personal feelings and RP stuff. Because if you don't things will get weird and uncomfortable so quick between you and the people you interact with. Please try not to take things personally. It can be hard! My general take on such things is that if something your partner is saying or doing, inside or outside of rping, is really eating at you, the first thing you ought to do is step back from rping and give yourself some time to ground yourself, sort your feelings and mentally touch grass. Also think over the nature of what exactly bothered you, why it bothered you and what's your personal boundaries about it. Is it something minor that you can overlook, move past or resolve? Or is it a deal breaker for you? There's a lot of things can be talked out and dealt with positively, privately and in a calm and adult way.

Sort of related: please don't let any RP drama and shit interfere with or destroy a genuinely good friendship. I love and enjoy my OCs they reflect varied aspects of my personality as well as ideas and very personal experiences that I'm processing and sorting through. But I also recognize those OCs are fictional. They are not my mouthpiece. They are not me. RP drama also includes rifts that may pop up over romantic shipping which unfortunately can sometimes be very emotionally loaded-look I get it, we're all anxious and neurodivergent and human. Fictional feelings can affect us, it's all valid. My own take on that is that NO fictional OTP or OT3-4-5-6 whatever will ever EVER be more important to me than a real live human being and honestly if you find yourself getting to a point where anything along those lines are causing serious and lasting rifts in a writing partnership, making things super weird or blurring a line between reality and fiction then one or the other party or whoever is involved really needs to step back, reassess themselves and maybe take a break for a while to get back in a better and more grounded headspace.

Also let me just say your RP partners, especially the ones you've been rping with for a while and built up a good relationship with are not to be treated like disposable tissues to be discarded when the next new Shiny Thing or New RP Partner shows up. That is IMHO very hurtful and inconsiderate of the feelings of your writing partners. I've unfortunately had it done to me but also looking back in my own past experiences, I've realized that there's been times I've gotten hyperfocused on one thread/storyline or interacting with one or two ocs and while yeah hey it happens-thanks neurodivergent brain-I did feel like I ended up making writing partners and friends I genuinely cared about feel neglected or ignored and caused them to drift away and strained our friendship outside of rping. I honestly regret that a lot and here recently I've been trying very hard to change that. I feel I can do better in that regards and I am actively trying to do so. Trying to be kinder and better about distributing my attention more equally to my rp partners new and old.

But honestly like. I guess that's kind of the whole thing I think I'm aiming for through all this longass rambling, to just be kinder and more considerate to your rp partners. Listen to them, talk to them, encourage and uplift them, don't treat them like your personal entertainment machine, be mindful of their personal comfort and boundaries and do your best on your end to ensure that rping continues to be full of the kind of experiences that are mutually enjoyable. And of course most importantly in the midst of that, take care of yourself as well!

I really believe in the idea that if you put good out in the world then good will come back in turn. Even if it is just a hobby or a past time! God knows the world is so fucked up right now, we need all the enjoyment and distractions-and solid friends-we can get. So ultimately being a good and considerate person to other people even in the most minor of interactions can only make things better for everyone in general. I truly believe that and I'll continue to do my best to ensure that the folks that interact with me here and the folks I can call my friends and all the wonderful variations in between will enjoy themselves. Anyways love ya'll be good to each other <3))

#mun speaks #((I'm sorry I did have a lot of Strong Feelings about all this and it got Wordy))#((also er please do not reblog thank you but you are welcome to comment if you feel like it))#((I...spent all day writing and rewriting this ourgh))

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romanarose · 11 months ago

Text

About a Girl: Chapter 5

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 3 of my pride event: Sex. Joel and Blue make everything official. Kayla ruins everything.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: Sorry ya'll this just happened with the story and it felt right for what was happening and the characters.. Warning for brief DV nothing extreme or detailed.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Not to sound like a 2012 wattpad writer but I cried writing this.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Things had been going well for weeks. Kayla had been taking Sarah on weekends consistently, which meant she didn’t have a man to distract her. This, however, meant she didn’t have a man to distract her away from Joel’s love life. Still, a little bit of boundary setting had done well for him, and Kayla had mostly been minding her business. Joel was able to see Blue every weekend, and was even able to spend more time with Tommy and Tess which was rare.

Tonight, he had just got done having dinner at your house and was cuddling on the couch with you in his arms, all wrapped up. He liked moments like this a lot. Don’t get him wrong, he’d gone to another show with you and had a good time, but he was definitely happy to just sit at home with you.

You’d seemed an unlikely pair, you and him. You liked leather and black and grunge. He liked country and jeans and… well he wasn’t really sure what he really ”liked”, honestly. He loved Sarah. He liked All That, he liked Arthur, he didn't like Barney, he liked Franklin… what did he watch when Sarah was in bed? Sleep. He mostly slept. Sometimes he watched King of the Hill… he listened to Clinton Black, Garth Brooks… Sarah liked Reba, which was nice. Things to do for fun? He liked to play the guitar for Sarah. He liked to go to the park with Sarah. He liked to go with Sarah and Tommy to the roller rink…

“I’d like yuh to meet Sarah.” Joel said against your ear, arms wrapped around your waste as he lay propped up against the arm rest. “Really meet her this time”

You paused, then sat up to turn and face him. You were smiling softly, eyes wide. “Really? I don’t want you to feel like you have to… but I’d love too…” Something hit you, making you bite your lip. “Introduce me as… what, exactly.” When you saw his eyes widen, you told him he didn’t have to pick a label right now, but he cut you off.

“My girlfriend. If you wanna.”

You squeal, returning to his arms for a hug and a kiss. “Yes!!!”

Joel returns the kiss, pulling you close, sliding a hand to the small of your back as you deepened the kiss, straddling his body. You and him had been making out, and of course the blow job outside the concert, but no sex. Not yet…

“Stay the night.” You whispered between kisses. “We don’t gotta do nothing you’re not ready for, but I’d love if you wanted to stay over”

Joel looked up at you, heart swelling faster than his cock in his pants. He reached up to touch your face. “I’m ready… only if you wanna”

You responded by grinding your cunt over his jeans, kissing him once more. You slide your tongue into his mouth, dominating the kiss and him. When you make it to the bedroom, Joel follows your lead, letting you press him up against the door as you fiddle with his belt. “Got any- mphhh- got any questions?”

His brow furrowed, looking a little confused and flushed. “With what? I don’t know if you know this, but I ain’t a virgin. Kid and all.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” You chuckle. “I meant with the whole ‘not born with a vagina’ thing.”

The look on his face told you he forgot about that. “Oh. Um… I guess… can you… um…”

“Orgasm?!?!” You bawked, in disbelief that at the prospect of having sex with a transwomen, something he barely knew existed before you, and he’s concerned if you’re going to have a good time. “Yes, I can orgasm Joel. I got a fucked ton of lube by my drawer too, so we’re covered there, baby. Just.” you sigh, guiding him to the bed as you pull down his pants. “Sweetie,” You coo, his big brown eyes gazing adoringly as you return to your rightful place above him. “Just let me take care of you tonight, ‘kay? I got you.”

Awestruck, you nodded. “Yes ma’am.” In his dark boxer briefs, his cock is straining, heavy.

You slowly pull his briefs down, Joel humps his hips up to help and you stare in aw as his cock strings free. He’s hung, absolutely packing and you can see why Tess came back for a few more rounds. Getting a chance to look at him, really look at him this time… Big dick, big eyes, big man… bigger heart. He’s soft, kind. He’s gentle in a way you’d never seen from a southern farmer, a body capable of total destruction if he wanted to, but no room in his heart for it. You couldn’t imagine your sweet, precious man hurting anyone.

When you took him in your mouth, you couldn’t make it all the way down. You’d practice on tat, vowing to be able to deep throat him, but it didn’t seem to matter. He was a mess already. When was the last time he fucked someone? It’d been a few years since Tess and she never mentioned Joel having a girl since Kayla… You wanted to make him feel good. But Joel had other plans.

“Wanna taste you.” He begs, tugging at your hair. “Really wanna taste you, Blue, please?” Joel is practically whimpering at you like a puppy and god, who are you to deny him?

“You ever had someone sit on your face, Joel?”

He nods. Good, you didn’t wanna freak him out. He’s not a virgin, but you didn’t think he was the most experienced either. “Stay there.”

You spread your legs over his face, carefully lowering yourself on him when he surprises you by grabbing your thighs and yanking you down. “Hungry boy” You chuckle, delighted with his excitement. He shows no interest in the slight scarring, if he was even paying enough attention to notice; he seemed preoccupied.

Joel devoured you whole, moving and working with your body as you ground yourself on his face. He felt good, he knew what he was doing, that was for sure. Even if he didn’t get out much, he certainly had the enthusiasm. “Fuck Joel, just like that… Just like that…” You’re sure to make sure he knows he’s doing good, you weren’t going to get wet on your own. His nose nudges along your fold as he sucks on your clit when you bend over, jacking him off. You’d love to 69 him -he deserved it- but you didn’t want him orgasming too soon, and the poor guy was already looking like he was just barely hanging on as it was. You cum in his mouth, shouting out his name as you grip his perfect cock tightly, so tight you can’t believe he didn’t spurt all over your hand but you would have forgiven him if he had with the feeling he gave you. Riding his nose and putty lower lip until you’re done taking all your pleasure.

When you flop over on the bed, Joel is on you in a second, lips sucking in yours desperately. He needs you, you can tell, but won’t ask for it. Joel isn’t the kind to take. He’s a giver. If you asked him to eat you out again he would, and would, and would until you’re ran dry and he’d just lay there, cock hard, cleaning you up. Because that was Joel.

But you weren’t going to do that to him. Because he deserved to know he was worthy of love, pleasure, happiness.

When you drop on top of him, encasing him in your lubed up, warm cunt. He opens you in a way you’ve never felt before, making you moan onto the stubbled jaw you were kissing, making you whimper in such a way he asked if you were okay. No one on this earth was a better man than Joel Miller.

You rode him, hands pressed against his firm pecs and stomach rubbing against his softness. All the lifting in the world wasn’t going to work his abs, and the man was living off junk and the real food Frank made for lunch. He’s soft around the edges. Joel is a whiny, moaning mess and you savor every single second of it. Breathing in his shuttered exhales, letting it be your breath of life no matter how your legs burned as you bounced. Thumbs to soft inner thighs, you gave until your heart burst.

“I love you.” You blurt out, voice shaking as you admit your feelings, perhaps too soon. You hold your breath, closing your eyes tight as your brace for rejection, or even more scary; his devotion. Upright and spearing yourself on his sweet dick, you continue your movements blindly.

Until you feel him rise up.

Joel surged towards you, wrapping your body up in one arm and gripping the back of your neck with the other hand. Chest to chest, lips to lips, body to warm, adoring body.

“I love you,” He fucks his hips up into your body, muttering against your lips and cheek. “I love you so much, Blue.” And you believe him.

Joel comes inside after you beg him for it. One orgasm is enough for you, you generally can’t twice but Joel does have you doubting that. He fills you up, clutching your ass and shoulders to him with fingers in your skin and face buried in your neck.

You wake up to your landline ringing.

“Hello?” You answer quietly, but Joel stirs anyway.

On the other side, you hear Tommy. “Hey Blue, Joel with you?”

“Yeah, everything okay?”

Joel is up, eyes wide recognizing his brother's voice. He likes the phone from you. “Tommy? You alright?”

“Jesus Joel, had me worried. Kayla called damn near every bar in town trying to get a hold of me.”

“Shit.” Joel mutters, sitting on the side of the bed. “Sarah okay?”

Tommy said he didn’t know, but Kayla had been trying to call him. Joel hung up, searching for his phone. After calling Sarah good night, it fell under the bed.

You watch him frantically call Kayla, being sure to keep quiet. You know his ex can get jealous and he doesn’t need more stress. He’s so clearly worried, and you are too. It’s 1:30 am, if Kayla is calling then something is wrong with Sarah. “Whats wrong? Where’s Sarah?”

“She won’t stop crying, Joel.” Kayla snaps at him. Is she just calling because Sarah’s crying?

Joel scrubs his face. “Kayla, did you try comforting her?”

“Of course I did, you fucking asshole” You didn’t like how she speak to Joel, and you seethed in your anger, mouth still shut. “She won’t stop screaming. You need to pick her up, I can’t fucking do this.”

Joel sighs, standing up. You begin gathering his things for him. He’s butt naked, dick swinging. “Jesus, okay, I’ll come get her. Just go hold her, okay? She gets scared at night.”

Kayla snapped at him, saying she’s aware.

He turns to you, apologetic. “I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare fucking apoligise, cowboy.” You toss him his briefs. “Sarah comes first, always. I’d do the same if I had a kid.”

He mumbles, redressing. “She always does this. Begs and cries about never seeing her, but sends her back early. Breaks Sarah’s little heart, you know? The uncertainty. She always dressed up so cute to see her mom, always brings her best art she makes at kindergarten, picture books she can read… even pretends to like Mariah Carey when she used to make me change the station. I can’t fucking take it.”

Your heart hurts for Sarah and Joel. Your own mom and dad never got you, even before coming out as trans or gay. You just were never right in their eyes. Years later, you start to think it was more about them than it was you. Who you are now is who you were always meant to be. You are happy. They are still miserable.

“Go get your daughter, Joel.” You kiss his cheek after he pulls his boots on. “Call me in the morning, or whenever you have time.”

He pauses, stopping to wrap his arms around you, strong and safe. “I meant every single word I said, Blue. I love you.”

“I know.” And you did.

After speeding on the empty roads, Joel makes it in record time, parking in front of some jacked up truck and knocking on the door. He didn’t want to ring in case Sarah fell back asleep. The door flung open to reveal and frazzled Kayla. “About time, she’s been screaming non stop!” She opened the door and Joel looked inside, not seeing her but hearing her scream frantically. Kayla was dressed in a flownsy night top and panties, makeup lightly on like she kept when she first started sleeping over at Joel’s parents.

“Where is she?” He follows the sound of her cries. She sounds absolutely batshit terrified, calling mommy, mommy, mommy. He’s unfamiliar with Kayla place. “Sarah? Where are you baby girl?”

The mommy’s switched to daddy’s with renewed vigor and Joel quickly found the room, running to it but finding the bedroom door locked. He jiggled it, hearing Sarah’s voice on the other end of sobbing for him. Something was wrong. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m here. Daddy’s here.” He tried to sound calm but turned to Kayla, furious. “Why is the door locked.”

“Don’t raise your voice at-”

“KAYLA UNLOCK IT!”

Kayla grabbed the key from a table nearby, explaining as she unlocked it, Joel’s voice reassuring Sarah she was safe it was okay.

“She had a nightmare, said she saw you and Tommy die on that stupid fucking farm. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up when I tried to tell her you’re-”

As soon as it was unlocked Joel burst in, dropping to his knees to scoop up his baby and soothe her. Sarah continued to cry, but relief to it.

“I’m okay, my baby. I’m okay, so is uncle Tommy. I promise.” His hands felt her shampoo or conditioner soupy residue in there. Joel told her not to wash Sarah’s hair, that it was washed the night before but she didn’t listen. Kayla never took time with washing it, rinsing it properly.

After getting the number of the last bar that Kayla found Tommy at, he got a hold of his brother when Sarah was yet to be reassured her beloved uncle was alive.

“See Sare-Bear! I’m right as rain! I even promise to make you chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, even if your dad says no, okay?”

Sarah niffles, still clearly shook up and visible shaking in her barbie nightie, but better. “O-okay. You promise you’re not hurt?”

“Not one bit, never been better. Want me to come home?”

“No… no…” But she didn’t sound certain.

Once Sarah was reassured, Joel scooped her up. She clung to her dad, clutching his shirt in her little hands. Joel turned to Kayla with a glare. “You locked my daughter in her room when she thought her dad and uncle were D-E-A-D?” He spelled out, making Kayla roll her eyes.

“You cuddle her too much, you and Tommy both. She needs to learn to cry it out.”

“One, she’s 5 and had a horrible nightmare. Two, you literally called me!” Then, Joel heard a thump coming from another room and it made sense now. The truck, Kayla underwear and makeup. “Kayla. Do you have a man in the house right now?”

She looked like she was about to lie, then thought better of it. “What I do with my home is none of your business.”

He tried to keep calm, chest rising and falling in anger against Sarah, still gently sniffing. They had an agreement on this. “How long have you known this man.”

She crossed her arms defensively, “A few weeks.”

His jaw ticked. “You brought a man you barely know to sleep over while my daughter is here?” In anger, he turned around, walking to the door but Kayla shouted after him.

“Relax Joel! This ain’t even the first time! Sarah likes him, he’s nice, he-”

Whipping around, Joel took long footsteps towards Kayla, clutching Sarah who had begun crying again. Sarah knew when a fight was happening. “How long as this been going on? Do you leave her alone with him?” Then he realized… if Sarah met him, and never mentioned him… he took a deep breath. “Kayla. Did you tell my child not to tell her father about a man? Did you seriously tell her to keep a secret from me?”

Joel never ever said. “don’t tell mom.” Ever. His heart raced in fear about the potition she was put in. If Sarah didn’t think she could tell him about the man, if anything happened, she’d keep that a secret too.

“Joel, it’s not a -”

“Don’t! No more sleepovers Kayla! No more of this until you can stop doing stupid-”

Seeing the slap coming and bracing for it was the only thing keeping his face from rolling into Sarah’s head. His eyes remained closed, blurring with tears. Not of pain, but humiliation. Knowing Sarah just heard her mom hit her dad. He’d always managed to keep that shit away from her…

“What, are you gonna cry now?” She mocked, but Joel wouldn’t have it.

“Sarah, sweetie, say goodbye to mommy. We’re going home.”

Sarah waved goodbye, but didn’t speak. Joel took her into the car and buckled her safely in, pulling a blanket over her legs in her nightie. He’d send Tommy to get the rest of her things tomorrow. Right now, he needed to get Sarah home.

Joel laid in bed with her, holding Sarah close to him on the twin bed. He tried to lull her back to sleep, but she hadn’t stopped sniffling and gently crying the whole ride back, even as Joel tried to distract her.

“Why doesn’t mommy like me?” Sarah mumbled against Joel’s arm, her back to his chest.

“Oh baby…” He kissed her hair. “Your mommy loves you so, so much. She and I think you’re just the coolest kid ever.”

She thought on this for a while. “You know the bird I made in kindergarten? Where I glued the feathers?”

“Yes baby, I remember.”

“And the sheet where I wrote my name 5 times?”

“I remember, it looked so good.”

“I brought them… and last night I saw them in the trash.”

Joel’s eyes welled up with tear, tucking his face into her hair to hide it. “It must be an accident, Sarah. We get so many bills, it probably just got lost in the piles.”

“I put it on the fridge for her.”

“It must have fallen…” Joel hated lying to her, but… “You know, just the other day your mom called me to tell me how she’s so proud of you. How she thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world and so, so smart.”

Sarah’s bedroom door cracked open, Tommy appearing.

“Hey Sare-bear” He spoke gently. “Got room for me?”

Joel scooched over and saw Sarah smiling for the first time. Daddy was comfort, but Uncle was joy. “Yes!!”

As Tommy took off his boots and jacket, Joel enlisted him to his lie. “Tommy, remember how her mom was telling us how proud she is of Sarah?”

Tommy got the jist. “Oh yeah, she’s always talk’n ‘bout you. Can’t get her to stop, really. Says you know more about dinosaurs than anyone else on the planet.”

“Yeah! Because I saw Jurassic Park!”

Joel shot Tommy a look but let it slide. At least Tommy doesn’t tell Sarah to keep secrets. “Yup. See baby? She loves you so much.”

“Good” Sarah yawned. “Because I love mommy. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.”

The three of them fell asleep like that on the twin bed. Sarah snuggled right up in her daddy’s arms, uncle Tommy on the other end holding her little hand.

In the morning, Tommy made them all chocolate chip pancakes.

Lets get on the fight Kayla club!!!!!

Tommy loves his neice....

Sarah is perfectly safe, I promise.

please lmk your thoughts!!!! Thanks for all the cool works with this pride event!!!

How to keep up with the series:

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oct0whyllow · 4 days ago

Text

American Shithead

Debbie, Heidi, and Theresa all work on deciphering who hacked Heidi, and Debbie debates making a tough choice at the end.

Notes: This first portion of the chapter is completely trigger free. After the second portion, the chapter will portray sexual assault. It will NOT be fetishized in any way at all as I find any romanticization of SA disgusting and horrid, and it won't be rape, and will be described using mostly metaphorical language and flashbacks, as I think writing incredibly graphic rape scenes does more harm than good. This chapter though, won't be focusing on the topic in any way. Only around the second portion will that subject begin to show up more to build it up. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Back in her office, (with permission from the school and the NHGTTWDPC) Debbie worked her butt off to find the guy who hacked Heidi and her family's accounts, she knew his account and possible description, but just that wasn't enough to take the guy to justice. The short girl grabbed another printed screenshot and put a pin to it on her bulletin board, she took out a red band to connect the pin to another, that pin connecting to another, and another, and another, and so on and so forth. In the same room, were Theresa and Heidi. Heidi, was on her phone, occassionally going from staring at a hyper-romanticized photo of a green gumdrop from a movie series that was originally good until the company decided to chase money blindly and make a shitty sequel.

The blogger sighed dreamily, "S-B they totes can't take me from u..." Debbie sighed, turning around to face her. Theresa was on zher phone scrolling through the members page of the summer school website, not paying too much attention as eye hyperfocused on her task. "𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴. If we're going to be catching that damned shoob, we need to stay on task!" Heidi flinched at 'girls' for some reason.

"Oh, I've been doing that! I can tell you about how many people fit the guy's likely description or how suspiscious their posts are, there's thirteen of them." Fowler crossed her legs over the other as she looked towards her girlfriend, who glared daggers at Heidi who just seemed so heavily uninterested in this despite the very fact she wanted the hacker put into a maximum security prison. "Glad to see at least 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 is doing her job. Could you stop looking at that stupid candy man for one milisecond?!"

Weinerman rolled her eyes, she 𝘸𝘢𝘴 seriously cheesed at that disgusting, putrid excuse of flesh and bone that hacker xem. But why couldn't these girls do all the work? Xe was good at drama, not extensive research. That was a journalist's job, not a blogger's. "Ugh- I already gave you the guy's account name, now I have to check your computer every few seconds?"

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 said you wanted him in a max security prison!"

"...𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘦. Gimme a teeny sec to check your puter... again- 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯' 𝘫𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘦?!" Xeir longer hair, with brown roots beginning to grow in, swung to the side as xe dashed right in front of the screen, reading the hacker's newest post. "Leeting' my acc n 2 dayz, ya'll net cops can piss ur pants while I strt frsh as a rando. Js gotta transfr sum shiz 2 my new accs?!"

Even Theresa, who was obviously chronically online to express herself freely in at least one space, couldn't understand what the hell Heidi was even reading. Debbie groaned, "Could you be more 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭? It's like you guys made a new language."

"It means he's 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 us and that he's deleting his account in just 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴!"

"What?!" Yelled both Theresa and Debbie.

Kang clutched onto the sleeves of her sage green button-up, she had no time to lose, had no luxury of taking a break, she had to find the guy in Norrisville High as soon as possible before it was too late. Rushing towards her computer, Debbie pushed Heidi aside, "Hey!", and went through all the descriptions she already had. Since the hacker was incredibly dumb and had no form of a brain in that weird little head of his, he failed to keep himself completely anonymous. He constantly complained about kids at Norrisville, mainly blonde guys for 'stealing all the girls from him', he was homophobic mainly because he didn't like the fact girls could 'steal girls from him'. He constantly glazed himself, talking about how cool he was, and comparing himself to Patrick Bateman (but with black hair), making it very clear he was very illiterate when it came to media as American Psycho made fun of people like him. He reposted stuff about 'White Pride', making it clear he himself was white.

He was also really horrible with fashion, liking posts with other men wearing the most disgusting outfits ever, sagging their pants all the way until they were below their asses and their boxers were showing, which was ironic as it originated with gay men in prison. The hacker constantly complained about the school's rules, how he was constantly 'targeted' by Norrisville High, even though the policies he hated most were the policies regarding harrassment, which were already very loose and allowed for people to say the shittiest things possible as long as it wasn't too obviously about someone. The hacker was also likely skinny, as he brags about the fact he has an eating disorder and isn't 'fat like those @&$%##$'. The guy was very, very, 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 ignorant to boundaries (his posts made it easy to decipher that he kept trying to 'flirt' with women, but they always ran away from him. He had tons of friends he abandoned, he has new ones every month.), and posted nearly every single hour, which made his description easy to determine.

A black haired, homophobic, fatphobic, mentally ill white guy who sags his pants almost all the way down, wears 'offensive' shirts, constantly loves talking about himself and what he does, can't respect other people and hates not having whatever he wants handed to him on a silver platter, while also very confident in his social skills (even if they were horrible, to say the least.)

Debbie needed to find him before he starts a new account, removing all the traces they could possibly have to connect his crimes to him, including the people that payed him to do stuff for them.

To find him, she would need to interview people, but she was already too famous as a journalist. Heidi would be a good choice- if she wasn't so damn nosy, one wrong move from her and she'd be asking the kid about his abusive home life and DNA sequence. It would also be suspiscious if Heidi went around interviewing people, she rarely spoke to strangers just to befriend them or to pass the time. So, who could do the interviews?

It hit her. Theresa. She was the perfect girl to do it, she was so kind, it'd be unusual for her to be talking to someone for an ulterior purpose, alongside that, she would be cautious enough to do this!

But she was also her girlfriend, and her social anxiety was something not to be taken lightly, it was also wrong for her to just use her as a tool to find the hacker.

"Give me some time to think, for now, Heidi, you go interview some kids and 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱, Theresa, continue what you're doing."

They did that for the rest of the day, until returning home. Debbie was still considering.

#oct0whyllow #rc9gn #rchnfic #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #debbie kang #theresa fowler #heidi weinerman

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separatist-apologist · 2 years ago

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You know what?

I am SO TIRED of being told I have to be nice to people who come into my askbox and take shots at me. When I got on this stupid website literally TWO WEEKS ago and B E G G E D people to be understanding because I was drowning under pressure and I needed to take a step back so I could remain in the fandom and ya'll liked it and said, "of course- take care of you!" without mentioning the addendum "unless it's the thing I enjoy reading".

So it's okay for people to come into my askbox on anon and tell me I'm a shitty person for not engaging with them the way they want to- to send MULTIPLE anons about it.

To come into my askbox and take shots at my perceived religion, a fact I've never shared widely on this app, and demand to know if I wasn't updating because of my "high holidays" which. Ok.

To log out of their profile not even 24 hours later and leave a rude comment on that same fic demanding I update.

And then to have people I consider friends VAGUE me (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?) about how I need to be nicer to people who you ADMIT were entitled and RUDE. Because fundamentally a lot of ya'll do not see me as a person who should be allowed to feel anything but gratitude.

I didn't do anything. I didn't chase someone off- people own their own actions. I have spent enough time being kind to this fandom that frankly, just does not deserve the constant benefit of the doubt. People have routinely stolen my stories often word for word and I've told my friends to keep from putting them on blast and worked it out privately or just swallowed the frustration. I've deleted and blocked COUNTLESS anons, more than you can EVER count, and still they return, lessons unlearned. I've been the subject of the dumbest harassment from people I didn't know even existed.

I'm just trying to have a modicum of fun. I am just begging people to offer me the smallest amount of grace as I am SCREAMING that I!!! AM!!! STRUGGLING!!!!!

To show up- as someone I considered a friend, and write a post that I needed to do better in the face of what was objectively both shitty AND unfair, is just a wild take. You could have messaged me privately. ANY OF YOU COULD HAVE, including the original person looking for an update and this was the route you all chose instead.

Why don't you guys, for once, take some responsibility for your own actions? And leave me the fuck alone.

#jesus fucking christ

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avatarrecom · 1 year ago

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Family time

Word count: 348

A/N: This can be read as an Custody AU by @ao3gobi17 or as an Lost and found AU by @raving-raven-writing or however you want to read it.

My grandpa died recently and when I was jolting down some memories to send to my cousin who was going to give a speech at the funeral, I suddenly remembered these.

My two cousins, uncle, dad and grandpa used to use me as a throwing ball in the swimming pool when I was young. And there is a really cute picture of me, sitting of my cousins shoulders, while his was sitting on our oldest cousins shoulders.

Anyways, my therapist said that it would be a good idea to write something with these memories to process everything and I thought it would be cute to write this with young Spider.

My grandpa's funeral sucked by the way, my aunt had a heart attach during her speech and had to go to the hospital with an ambulance... At least now I have even more shitty things to talk about in therapy 👍🏻

Anyway, it's short and not my best work, but I hope ya'll enjoy!

Spider was flying! Well… not actually flying. It’s not like he suddenly grew wings and flew away, but he was flying anyway. For a couple seconds at least, until he landed in his uncle Lyle’s arms.

Uncle Lyle gave Spider a grin, before hoisting him in a different position so he could throw the boy in the air. Spider closed his eyes, while giggling madly. Then he was caught again, this time by his uncle Mansk. Even in the swimming pool in the basement of their huge house (of course they were in the swimming pool, nobody in their right mind would use a 6 year old boy as a football somewhere, god forbid, he could get hurt), uncle Mansk wouldn’t take his sunglasses off.

But anyway, since you’re probably wondering why a 6 year old boy is used as a football, the answer is very, very simple… It was sooo much fun! It was like he was actually flying, I mean how awesome is that! Daddy said that it was good exercise and much more fun than doing exercises with those boring machines. Which is true of course, Spider was much more fun than those machines, thank you very much.

Uncle Lyle had grabbed Spider after they’d been in the water for a while and had tossed him to uncle Fike, who in turn tossed him to uncle Lopez. Spider’s dad, other uncle’s and his aunties had joined in the game. Except for uncle Prager, who always worried about 12 rough, ‘macho’ (whatever that may mean) marines raising a six year old, but so far, Spider was loving it! Even though he missed his mommy since she went to heaven, he had gotten such a huge family!

Eventually, much to his dismay, Spider had to stop flying. But every one promised that he would be flying again soon! Instead, he got to be really, really tall! Even taller than uncle Ja, who’s the tallest.

Auntie Walker sat Spider on her shoulders and then she sat on uncle Mansk’s shoulders! They were so tall and it was awesome!

#avatar recoms #recom miles quaritch #recom lyle wainfleet #recom zdog #recom mansk #recom brown #recom ja #recom fike #recom prager #recom warren #recom walker #recom zhang #recom lopez #miles spider socorro #custody au

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citylighten · 1 year ago

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What was your inspiration to write a mafia/mob/cartel/la familia type story?

So, I was primarily raised by my grandma and her sisters and they loved mafia films. Like, my grandma considered Robert De Niro to be her man. My grandma apparently wrote a whole mafia story in her notebook when she was a teen. 😂 I saw Once Upon a Time in America (my grandma's personal fave) and parts of The Godfather when I was really young, but I wasn't enthralled in these films. I didn't even understand the workings of the mob. Yet, I respected these and held fascination for them because it was my grandma's interest and I love my grandma! Some time passes. I'm in 6th Grade. My best friend becomes obsessedddd with Scarface. [which I feel is a general thing that's apart of black culture 😂😂] I mean she has her first fictional crush! And I'm in class endorsing it like a good friend! I saw that movie a total of three times when I was a preteen due to the love of my friend, including a lousy BET cut and even now I would say that is one of my favorite gangster films. Some more time passes and I'm still really into this genre even though I'm still dumb about the inner workings and hierarchy. I just know it's suits and action! In high school I wrote a shitty mafia AU story for a anime fandom I was in. We don't talk about that, but it was like a stepping stone and it was fairly well-received by my friends. Fast forward into adulthood and in 2016-ish? I made my OC Sal! Although Sink or Swim takes place in the modern day, Sal and Eve were originally historical ocs! So, I tried to do a lot of research through film. Instead of watching documentaries or reading thoroughly, I watched films like Harlem Nights, Goodfellas, Mean Streets, Godfather, A Bronx Tale, Casino! And in watching these movies I had the mindset of, "okay, I wanna take these elements for Sal, I wanna leave plot themes like this out." also shoutout to the video games Mafia I, II, and III. They had some immersive storytelling. I roleplayed Sal for awhile on tumblr and eventually I met @ladygangsters who was equally into the gangster genre! But due to her love of the series Narcos, I learned a lot more about the cartel beyond my shallow Scarface knowledge. She's really the one with all the cartel ocs, broadening my horizons!😂 I didn't know if I wanted to do a gangster story on simblr tbh. Mostly because tackling a complex story was daunting and it's WAY EASIER to just do slice of life narratives. When I first started Sink or Swim I was lowkey freaking out irl like, "I don't know what to do, I don't know I'm doing, oh my god I'm gonna torment myself with this story." But I didn't scare ya'll away with my content. I didn't feel overwhelmed when I reached certain heavy points of the story. I feel like I trust myself to tell this story now more than I did when I first plotted it out. And now I'm doing a lot of heavy co-writing with @ladygangsters and we treat our writing the way we would if we were still rping with each other, so that brings a high level of comfort.

#thank u for the ask sorry its long 😭😭

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alygator77 · 3 months ago

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I finished the chapter just now and here i come to comment 🏃🏻‍♀️

When Remi said "she's playing" i got scared thinking that trash wanted to kidnap her or something but thankfully nothing happened 😮‍💨

I didn't really get suprised by Naoyas creepiness, i even though he will take out his pipi and yeah, but that also didn't happen, thankfully. I want my panties back tho 😭🧍🏻‍♀️

Remi needs to get get slapped so she can wake up from wherever she feels about him but ig even if you want to turn "good", being a part of the mafia doesn't help.

Speaking of mafia/yakuza, i like how Naoya, a mafia member, decided to not send the 1st dm cause he is so smart, please, but let the photo facing down, stole my panties, bloodied the room and didn't even saw what the safe had inside. Gosh did he even wore gloves???

Something that excited me is that, ladies and gentlemen...we unlocked Nanami!!! Another dilf- WHO SAID THAT. I cant wait to see him in the next chapters.

I was laughing together with Suguru when Satoru casually said my panties went missing LMAO. Zero hesitation literally 😂

Oh, and a question- Toji is in jail?? Didn't he stalk us when reader and Gojo were in the jacuzzi with the periocular, peluciars, pecul- i give up you get what i mean 🥲

Im sad reader didn't get to hear the first ever time Satoru said "i love you" to her but oh, what can i do? 😔 Good thing he plans to say it again 💪🏻

That's all i had to say, sorry for the yapyap 🙏🏻💓

omg my sweet anon, this ask is literally everything to meeee. i love it sm. i'm sorry it took me a min to get back to you, i wanted to really take a moment to give you my full attention when i respond 🥹

I didn't really get suprised by Naoyas creepiness, i even though he will take out his pipi and yeah, but that also didn't happen, thankfully. I want my panties back tho 😭🧍🏻‍♀️

💀 LMAO NOT YOU EXPECTING HIM TO JUST WHIP IT OUT??? I’M ACTUALLY CRYING 😭😭 this literally made me BUST OUT laughing, omg 🤣🤣🤣 so ykw, i almost went even more creepy (not whipping it out but more explicit with his thoughts) but ewww... i was just getting way too uncomfortable writing it 🤮 i'm sure ya'll can imagine what's going on in his mind... it ain't pretty and he's just fucking nasty.

Remi needs to get get slapped so she can wake up from wherever she feels about him but ig even if you want to turn "good", being a part of the mafia doesn't help.

yeah, remi is delusional. she is so far up naoya's ass... she has lost all sense of morals. i was worried that a lot of people would feel bad for her, bc naoya treats her just as shitty as reader, especially since he even uses the same "just be good for me," but i was surprised to see a lot of people are hating on her (which thank god cause same. rightfully so, she's working for the fucking yakuza and is a rat)

omg yesss. so what could potentially be naoya's biggest downfall is he's cocky af. it's ironic that he constantly calls satoru cocky, but naoya is so damn arrogant and in his own delusion that he is 'untouchable.' and don't get me wrong, although he can be somewhat careful, he's also a bit careless. satoru, on the other hand, isn't like that. he may act aloof and cocky, but he's fucking sharp.

Something that excited me is that, ladies and gentlemen...we unlocked Nanami!!! Another dilf- WHO SAID THAT. I cant wait to see him in the next chapters.

ahhh i am SO excited for nanami too 🥹 hehe... i do love nanami. i actually have a figure of him in my gaming room (along with all my satorus...😅) he was my original love before i became obsessed with satoru. it's going to be my first time writing him, so i'm really looking forward to bringing him into the story! i love his character—him joining the battle is going to add so much depth, hehe.

I was laughing together with Suguru when Satoru casually said my panties went missing LMAO. Zero hesitation literally 😂

satoru has PRIORITIES 🤣 and omg suguru is so snarky 🤭 anytime i write satoru and suguru together i have so much fun with their dialogue lol.

Oh, and a question- Toji is in jail?? Didn't he stalk us when reader and Gojo were in the jacuzzi with the periocular, peluciars, pecul- i give up you get what i mean 🥲

ahhh so toji was in prison, not anymore though. in ch 7 satoru mentions to reader how his dad put toji in prison. what they both don't know is that toji was released. reader came across him at the gala in ch 6, and she thought he looked familiar but couldn't quite place him. also, in ch 7 mei mentions how "prison didn't make toji soft." so yes, toji is out of prison. i realized looking back, maybe it is a bit confusing how i wrote that line in ch 9? originally is was written as

"With Toji rotting in prison, the damn Yakuza have begun distancing themselves, treating the Zenin like liabilities rather than assets."

I went ahead and changed it to "...have begun distancing themselves ever since he got released..."

tysm for bringing this to my attention! i don't want that to confuse anyone 🫶🏻

Im sad reader didn't get to hear the first ever time Satoru said "i love you" to her but oh, what can i do? 😔 Good thing he plans to say it again 💪🏻

it's a shame reader didn't get to hear satoru's confession 😭 he literally laid his heart on his sleeve... our sweet pookie. thank you SO much for this ask my love. reading this made my heart so warm. i'm grateful that you're enjoying the story, and i'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on whats to come. MWAH 😘

-aly💕

#alys mail #aly anon #mhm #motherhood and matrimony

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anogete · 2 years ago

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Oh my goodness

Hello to anyone who remembers me. Real life and mental health both sank their claws into me. I've been avoiding social media because... well, many reasons but most because I feel like I'm a big ol' disappointment.

But today, I've come here like the humble whore I am to ask for a beta. Before you get excited, I have to warn you that it's not for Marvel, which (if you remember me) is what you likely know me for writing. Read on for an explanation about where the fuck I've been and what fandom I've spiraled down into lately.

In 2019-2020, I had a lot of grieving to do for some close loved ones who passed on. This led to a really shitty space for my mental health where I went into a functioning depression. I was doing things, but only the bare minimum required to exist without people catching on that I was in a bad mental space. I can't say I've completely kicked that, but I'm trying to do better. At the same time, I had a bunch of stuff going on a work. Specifically, I work for a team of advisors who provide financial planning services to individuals/families. I was promoted to an associate in 2020 and then we went through a merger with a larger firm in 2022. So, work has been crazy with me taking on additional responsibilities and working to build new processes after the merger. In addition, I managed to finish my bachelor's (20 years after I dropped out of college!) and take classes toward getting a CFP designation over the past 2 years. I'm scheduled to take the CFP exam in November. It's a 6-hour bear of a test covering pretty much all aspects of personal financial planning. And then next year I'll be continuing with my team as an advisor myself. Do I have anxiety? Fuck, yes. But I'm trying to stop cockblocking myself on the career front.

ANYWAY, enough with the boring stuff. I've been drowning in material for classes and studies with so little fun in my life. Somehow I got on CODTok (Call of Duty) and my little imagination ran wild as I watched these absolutely filthy edits of those boys. And for the first time in a long time, I felt that itch to write. I really should be focusing on studying for this exam, but all work and no play isn't fun. It's taken me 3 years to learn that lesson, but it has managed to finally sink into my thick skull.

My problem is that I know virtually nothing about Call of Duty because I don't like video games. As for the characters--I only know minimal info (mostly from YouTube videos and a COD wiki). It would be nice to have someone more knowledgeable than me to look over what I've written. And if not that, then it would be nice to have anyone other than me give it a beta read to point out my stupid mistakes or plot holes. I have about 16 pages of a Ghost/OFC written. It's my usual--heavy on the dialogue and sexual tension with a side of plot/action. I don't know how fast I'll be at writing this. Work is kicking my ass and I still need to dedicate my weekends to studying for this test. But if you're willing to take a little ride with me, I'd love some input. Send me a message or email me at [email protected] if you're interested. I miss and love ya'll.

#beta help #call of duty

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nevertheless-moving · 1 year ago

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Hi! I love your writing snippets - have you thought about posting them on ao3

Thank you!! Yes, I have thought about it, for sure! I'm nevertheless_turtle on ao3.

(I have... six fics, all of them star wars, half of them unfinished, last one updated in January 2022. Unless someone decides to put a million dollars in my kofi jar, this is for Fun, so unfortunately once the hyperfixation fades...it fades*.

:( star wars back and forth tumblr fics with star wars mutuals my beloved... murderbot discord i loved collaborative storytelling with ya'll and i miss you...i don't know how to make friends on the internet i just talk blorbos in situations and my blorbos drift over time... hello stormlight archive fandom)

! anyone want to talk about putting my type of blorbo, which when i check my notes is a pathetic wet person who is very good at killing but somewhat tries to avoid it, if you want to talk putting someone like that in a Situation, Hey! i may or may not be your person. this ask is really getting away from me i might be tired from walking a bunch of miles today...

*i do historically cycle back around to fandoms! i was lurking on tumblr for over a decade before i posted anything and there was definitely a cyclical nature to it! i consistently knit furiously for 3 months and then take a 4 year break! star wars fics wait for me!

aNYWAY writing fic directly into Tumblr adn/or Discord or if i don't have internet connection then a fuckin shitty notes app appears to be the Key for me?? like i tried fic writing before that in Word or Docs and it just didn't go?? idk! I think it's like the comic sans trick.

wait i still haven't answered the question.

you know, the thing is, when i write a snippet at the end of 5 paragraphs of background meta for an au, or a literal bullet point list, i'm not really sure how to post that to ao3. can you post chatfic and bullet points to ao3? it feels weird? idk. real question for the crowd in the midst of an extremely incoherent ask answer. let me know what you think!

me to myself: the question. scroll back up. what was the question. myself to me: that was answering the question! somewhat!

Right now a bunch of fic writing is churning around and out of brain, and circumstances have aligned for better or worse such that i have time and mental energy and ideas to write. we'll see how it goes. Once I get a bit more posted on tumblr i'll probably put things together and either make seperate works for different aus, or a masterwork of different tumblr aus that i don't think i'll develop further. i may turn some of those bulletpoint lists into cleaner fics for posting, making my earlier point moot.

some of my aus i already have a bunch written on my phone over meals or stopped in the middle of a side walk or on bus and train rides (why would an ELEVEN HOUR TRAIN RIDE not have an outlet to charge my laptop??). so. if i clean that stuff up ill probably post it to tumblr, then immediately notice the spelling mistakes, edit, then post to ao3.

a perfect system.

for my most recent snippet, well, that's actually self contained (not an au that requires 6 paragraphs of background to understand the snippet) and not a chat fic, so i WAS thinking i would just post it to ao3 soonish. i asked in the tags if anyone felt like betaing for ao3, i am wildly but unquestioningly assuming that the sorta individual who would want to beta a fic for me are reading the tags on my tumblr fic post. if anyone likes betaing stormlight or is interested in betaing a specific au/fic idea i've mentioned, hit me up.

TLDR above, tumblr is a for fun rough draft looser writing form place for me. ao3 feels like its asking for a bit more polish and structure. i have writing bees in my brain right now so i'm slightly more focused on that then editing, but if anyone feels like doing some form of beta, reach out and we can chat about it. regardless, i will clean up at least some of my recent snippets and post to ao3 eventually.

#stormlight archive #nevertheless meta #star wars #murderbot diaries #fandom

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sinsiriuslyemo · 1 year ago

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When Insecurity Makes You Racist

Ya'll, I've got some stuff I wanna get off my chest.

So this morning there I was, drinking my tea, trying to decide which story I was going to continue working on, minding my own damn business for once when on twitter (I'm not calling it X. I said it, and I don't care) I saw a tweet from a mutual talking about some Chucklehead who had created a burner account on Goodreads (seriously, who the fuck does this?) and was mass one-starring books by other indie authors on there. Wait, because there's more.

As if this wasn't shitty enough, this person was also five-starring their own book, which will debut in 2024.

Did you fucking ever??

So, naturally, I did some digging as I do because I'm nosy af. Fortunately, I wasn't the only one wanting to know the tea, but unfortunately, it doesn't appear as though there's much more information out there except that this author, who I will remind you has not even published their book yet, is acting a damn fool and threatening their own career before it even kicks off.

I did manage to find this thread, which appears to be the original tweet that kicked all this off on twitter, but doesn't go into very much detail. It does, however, reveal another sickening aspect of this fuckery that l i t e r a l l y makes me want to riot, and that this...author was/is "using clearly POC names in the fake accounts to upvote every negative review on POC books so the top ones are all one and two star."

It got me to thinking about how precious and valuable reviews are. How much we crave them as indie authors because it's what will boost our books in the algorithm and get our book into the hands of the next reader. It's our lifeblood. A review and/or rating on Goodreads can absolutely make a difference, especially to indie authors since we only have ourselves and the generosity of our peers to market our books.

So, for an author to betray that is such a disheartening thing. I can't imagine taking the time to create a burner account for the sole purpose of trying to tear down my fellow indies. What's worst, and most likely the most egregious aspect of all of this is that they're weaponizing a POC identity (which I don't even know that they are actually POC) in order to tear down POC authors.

Being an indie author is hard. You're responsible for every aspect of writing, preparing, marketing and selling your book. There's an enormous amount of pressure that naturally comes with being an indie author. Not to mention the constant intrusive thoughts of "what if no one reads my book?" It's hard. But to go out of your way to sabotage other authors so that your book does well is not the way. As indies, we've GOT to have each other's backs, and yes, even call each other out when necessary. This person has not been identified as of yet, and I honestly don't know how I feel about that.

On one hand, there is zero attention on them as an individual and all the attention on their racism and blantant disrespect for the indie community, specifically the POC author community, and therefore their book, name is not receiving any attention apart from the five stars they're giving themselves. But on the other hand, does this mean they're going to be able to get away with their behavior?

It would be bad enough if this were a one-off thing, where they posted one bad review and upvoted themselves one time. I would still say expose their asses if I'm being honest. But this is m u l t i p l e instances of this and in a short period of time.

This is not okay.

And will them getting away with it encourage them to do it again or do something similar?

Personally, I want to know who they are so that I don't support them even by accident, but I know it isn't necessarily my place to demand this. We'll see what happens. As of right now, it appears the person who first posted about it is giving them a chance to knock it the fuck off, which is so incredibly generous, and in my opinion is more than they deserve.

I don't know if this person will heed their advice and stop the fuckery, but I know that I cant just sit idly by and wait for tea — though I most certainly will be watching this and waiting for any additional tea, because friends, I AM A NOSEY BITCH! That and I want to make sure this author never accidently ends up in my TBR because literally fuck them, and their racist burner accounts.

Still, this whole thing makes me want to do something. Not just talk about doing something or talk about how fucked this is — and it is, absolutely fucked. So I kept digging, hoping to at least find a list of those authors targeted so that I could use what platform I have to share their work.

The only post I've been able to find thus far is this one, calling for exactly the same thing, a list of all the authors who have been victimized by a person that should have been cheering them on, not plotting and mobilizing to sabotage them. Thus far, only one name has been identified, at least that I have found, but I will be keeping my eyes open for more, and I will update this post every time I find a new name. I implore you, if you're a reader and want to support indie authors, give their books a read. Leave them a review on Goodreads as well as on Amazon (just copy and paste the same one, I promise it's fine) so that their book gets pushed out and promoted to other readers.

The Poisons We Drink by Bethany Baptiste follows Venus Stoneheart as she avenges the murder of her mother while navigating the corrupt political atmosphere of DC. I will be reading and reviewing this book on my blog as the synopsis sounds bad ass. The link above will take you directly to Bethany's website where you can get more details on this novel.

In the meantime, don't fucking do this if you're an indie author. Don't do this at all even if you're not an indie author. It's gross, it's racist, and it's going to take all of us together to combat this nonsense.

#indie books #book twitter #writer twitter #writer #goodreads #authors behaving badly

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synamartia · 1 year ago

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Ya'll... when I tell you about the fucking week I just had...

So by now all of you are aware that my phone died and I wasn't able to be online until I could get it fixed. Well! Come to find out, it would have cost more to fix the screen than to just buy a new phone outright, so I just did that. It was a downgrade, but with all the issues my old phone was having aside from the cracked screen, it's still ten times better than what I had. Bought the phone, got everything transferred, went about my day as usual and went to bed early that night.

Guys. When I woke up, I thought I was fucking DEAD I felt so shitty. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. All I knew was I was freezing my ass off while sweating like a warthog in a sauna, I couldn't see straight, and my throat hurt so bad I couldn't speak. That's not an exaggeration, I literally couldn't speak - let alone eat or drink. Found out I was running a temp of 103 the first couple of days and all I did was sleep, and my tonsils were so swollen that even drinking water was painful. Eventually my fever broke and the swelling did go down, but now it fucking BURNS when I swallow anything like I just downed four shots of Everclear with a tabasco sauce chaser. Still not sure what exactly it was, but so far no one else in my house has gotten it, so I'm not even sure if it was something contagious - which just brings up a shit ton of questions about what it was and how I got it. i also can't sneeze without pain shooting down my neck which is great cause it's ALLERGY SEASON YAY

So, suffice to say, my tolerance for social interaction has been very minimal this past week and I haven't had a chance to get any writing done (at least it was my weekend off). I'm still not back to 100% but I'm getting there! Just wanted to give you guys a quick update, so now I'm gonna go take a zinc tab, get my kids in bed, and then try to crank out that teaser I promised ya'll~! ❤️

Side note: the 23rd was my youngest daughter's 4th birthday, and this kid. Omfg she cracks me up. So bedtime rolls around and my kid, she's watching these DIY videos for like fidget toys or whatever, and she sees one of those pimple popping toys. She runs up to me and is trying to get me to watch it (I'm barely conscious at this point btw) and she points to her forehead and tells me that she has pimples on her face, and that she needs one of those toys to pop instead. She literally just turned 4, and I tell her pimples don't happen until you're a teen (in my case, at least), and that she's got about ten more years to go before she's a teen. Then I ask her if she knows how long ten years is, and how far away into the future it is. She screams yeah, so I ask her how far.

This kid. This fucking kid. She proceeds to press herself against the wall of our living room, then runs across the length of it and down our hallway until she straight slams herself into our bathroom door (sort of like inexperienced skaters stop themselves at a roller rink by skating into that half wall), then yells back at me "THIS FAR!" I fucking died it hurt so much but I couldn't stop laughing 🤣☠️It was worth it though! ❤️

#synamartia #syn speaks

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ace-does-stuff · 2 years ago

Text

Misconceptions

Summary: Kyle is only distantly aware he's chosen the worst time to confess

Warnings: swearing, mentions of various deaths, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: I wrote this to get myself through some idea drought, but Kenny being an oblivious and jealous prick is honestly fun to write, it may happen again. this is basically me shoving another scene into the manbearpig episode by the way, so keep that in mind while reading. hope ya'll enjoy!

Kenny's breathing starts to stutter with the cold, he's too far into sleep to wake up and shuffle around a bit too try and get warm. Kyle can hear it, it's shockingly hard to fall asleep on the cold ground while trapped in a cave system. He feels perfectly fine heat wise, passed out next to Stan and using his jacket as a blanket.

Kyle doesn't know what he's supposed to do. On one hand, he lets Kenny freeze to death or go terribly ill. On the other hand, he wakes up Kenny and hopes that the blonde doesn't get pissed off.

He opts for waking up Kenny.

His entire body feels clunky when he stretches, hands over his head and interlaced fingers pushing out. He tugs on his jacket lazily as he stumbles over to where Kenny's passed out on the ground. Kyle crouches down next too him and places a hand on the blondes face. His skin is flush with the bite of the cold, and he feels 'warm' but he isn't.

"Hey, dude," Kyle begins with as he shakes Kenny's shoulders gently, it barely rouses the blonde. All he gets is a small groan of dissatisfaction and the slightest shift in facial expression.

Kyle brings his fingers to loosen Kenny's parka hood but stops himself, he needs the heat to be in, not out. Instead he slides his fingers along Kenny's neck, ice cold fingers sure to jolt him awake. It does garner a reaction, not much.

Kyle talks again, "Wake up man, you're gonna freeze to death."

Kenny blinks open his eyes and glares at Kyle, "I've died worse- heard of worse ways," He quickly corrects himself.

"I know," Kyle said softly, so lightly, making sure Kenny didn't hear. It was his secret, and even though Kyle remembers a good deal of the deaths, he acts like he doesn't. He's not sure if he's lying for Kenny's sake or for his own.

"I'm fine freezing to death," Kenny said as he closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, facing away, "Go back to your boyfriend."

Kyle's face flares up at the accusation, "He's not my boyfriend," He takes Kenny's arm and rolls him back over, "I don't even like him."

Kenny rolled his eyes, "Sure you don't, you just happen to always be with him, always listen to him, always give him attention, always be on your fucking mind- of course he's your boyfriend!" The restraint he enforces to not shout makes him shake, he should've gotten this out in the open a long time ago. But no, he had too wait until the four of them were trapped in the mines before it could come out, "Leave me to die, that's what you guys always do."

"I don't," Kyle said.

Kenny scoffed, "Sure."

"Remember when you were dying of cancer, or whatever, your body was giving out on you?" Kyle asked.

Kenny nodded, "Everyone remembers that."

"Or what about all those other times? Electrocuted, trampled, burned, drowned, mutilated- I remember some of those," Kyle said, "I just, didn't want to freak you out by bringing it up."

"Big whoop," Kenny spat venomously, "You remember most of my terrible fates, so does Cartman. I don't see how that relates to you not being Stan's shitty boyfriend," He hopes that the jealously of his misguided anger is heavily covered.

"Stan doesn't remember half as many, Craig doesn't remember any, and Tweek doesn't remember any. Just me, and Cartman," Kyle said, going off on a loosely built tangent. He was grasping for straws, but he needed an exit into the more important topic of debate, "Because we care about you more than anyone else in all of South Park."

Kenny gestured vaguely for Kyle to go on, a challenge of sorts, maybe it was a plea.

"He cares about you because you indulge in his terrible ideas and hang out with him outside of the group. You're his best friend, we all are, but you more than the rest of us," Kyle explained, gesturing to Cartman as he spoke, "And I remember because," He pauses, words catching in his throat, "I, I remember."

"Spit it out," Kenny snarled, glaring just a bit. It was a facade really, he'd never speak maliciously to Kyle and mean it.

"And I remember all of you deaths because I fucking, I am in love, with you," Kyle managed to choke out, barely at that. He feels like the knots in his chest are tightening, but the burdens on his shoulders have finally been lifted. It's a rather conflicting feeling, to have the brunt of it all out in the open despite knowing it won't be reciprocated.

Kenny is pleased with the fact he can say the reason his face is red is because of the cold. He feels his heart rate pick up, he's pretty sure it's pulsing with irregularities- ha, that's kind of funny, Kyle made his heart skip a beat. Literally at that, the metaphor always came in handy for his journals. He bangs his fist on his chest, right where his heart is, rattling up his rib cage. He glances up to Kyle, "Really man?"

Kyle can't help the exasperation saturated so thickly on his voice it's dripping as he snaps back a sharp, "Yes, really! Of course I do!"

He also can't help the squeak that's pushed out of him when arms wind around his torso and squeeze. Kenny's head is resting on his shoulder, nestled up against the crook of his neck. Kyle doesn't know what he's supposed to do, especially with the way Kenny is shaking, tears hitting his jacket and his skin. It takes a bit too long for him to realize that this is a way of saying 'I love you too' but the second he does he's yanking Kenny into himself just as tight. He knocks the side of his head against Kenny's gently as he hauls the blonde almost onto his lap.

"Fuck man," There's a small sniffle as Kenny tries to lift his head, he can't get more than a couple inches of distance between him and Kyle and it feels nice. He dares to say it feels right, resting half on Kyle's thighs with arms wrapped around him so tightly he almost fears dislocating a rib. He takes a shaky inhale, "I just, did you have to wait until now to say it?"

Kyle knocked his forehead against Kenny's, very brief moment of contact greets them, when he pulls back he's almost shocked that Kenny's hands are at his waist. Almost. He rests his head on Kenny's shoulder, "I thought you were into the chicks."

"I take whatever comes my way," Kenny said, he spoke as though it were humorous, "Of course, I am prone to getting attached and waiting for something better to come around."

Kyle listens, giving a small hum to continue.

"But I got really lucky tonight, aside from the fact we're trapped in a cave system. Not only am I sitting on the lap of someone absolutely magnificent, smart, adorable, and dare I say it, hot. That someone also happens to be the long time target of my affection," Kenny rambled. The words flowed like wine, and he's entirely trying to flirt despite the situation. He brings a hand up to run through Kyle's mess of curls, "Of course, lower class courtship methods usually aren't seen as such by the middle class."

Kyle gives a soft sigh, "Cut me some slack, I just finished coming to terms with this shit," He lifts his head up to find that charming gap tooth grin, definitely one of his favorite things about Kenny. He's had a hard time choosing favorite things about Kenny lately, he adds it to the list.

"Gladly," Kenny answered with, briefly pressing a kiss to Kyle's cheek. He glanced over the redhead's shoulder, "Let's sleep over there."

"Beside Stan?" Kyle asked, he got a nod in response.

"I don't want him getting hypothermia," Kenny said, "Not a fun way to die."

Kyle gives a hum before standing up, awkwardly hoisting Kenny along with him. He knows that the shorter is grinning for the brief walk over to where Stan lays. Kyle sheds his jacket to lay down and Kenny joins him, pressing his back flush against Kyle's torso.

Kenny tilts his head back a bit, "Love you," He's saying it until the novelty wears off at this rate.

Kyle hums in response, "Go to sleep."

"Okay," Kenny said, voice a bit more hushed as he closed his eyes and tried to relax.

It's a lot easier to fall asleep when someone else is there with you. The rhythmic clamber of his heartbeat is welcome to echo in Kenny's ears as he drifts off to sleep comfortably. Even with the cold nipping at his feet he finds it rather soothing to just fall asleep. He's out cold before Stan actually rouses from his slumber, flipping over a bit.

"Go back to sleep," Kyle croaked out softly.

Stan pushed himself onto his elbows and glanced over to find Kenny curled up against Kyle, "You told him?"

Kyle nodded.

"He said yes?" Stan asked.

Kyle nodded, "Here's hoping we make it out of here alive to go on a date."

"In the afterlife I'll third wheel for you, even if we make it out I'll be sitting there being a nuisance," Stan said as he dropped back down. His pressed his back against Kyle before throwing his jacket atop the both of them.

"Thanks," Kyle said quietly, "You're fucking awesome man."

Stan yawns a bit, "No problem bro, that's what friends are for."

#south park #sp k2 #k2 south park #south park k2 #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #south park fanfiction #writing #fanfic #fanfiction

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