#take care ttfn

[ips-northstar-official]

So... It's the person from the hypothetical thing about the Balor. Here's the whole thing, as it is.

See, I'd just got done with a job along with my Lance: Things were great, I wound up seeing what happens when a Balor literally pulls itself back together from a front-row seat (spoiler alert: It was fucking awesome), and I wound up getting enough cash to do some... Acquisitions.

So! I decided to stop by a black-market scrapyard I knew about: Odd spot ran by an unshackled NHP everyone calls "Mamaw": She heard the term on an out-of-the-way planet, liked it, and decided to use it as an alias. Lotta people dump mechs that are too junked-out, expensive, or time-consuming to repair there: Wear-and-tear from a death-world, too much damage from a job gone horribly wrong, used for something horrible by a rich ass-hat... You name it, Mamaw's got it lying around there for resale and trade.

It's like a Flea Market for mech parts!

... And also maybe ship parts butlet'snottalkabouthat-

ANYWAYS. Stopped by to say "Hi!", ask around about any good deals, and she'd told me that she had pretty much just gotten in a Blackbeard from some salvage crews. I was interested, so she guided me to it.

When I tell you this mech was fucked, I mean it was Capital-F FUCKED. Missing a leg and both arms, any armor was molten slag, wiring was shredded, the works. According to Mamaw, somebody had let their Sekhmet-Class off the hook, ejected, and just ran away. Left 'em behind to fight while they fled for the hills.

The mech got damaged enough that the Sekhmet-Class couldn't move an inch more, and after the battle the Salvage teams moved in to do their job. So, imagine their surprise when the wreck they go to grab starts swearing the air blue at them. Just... Absolutely laying into them. Insults that I could not repeat in polite company, according to Mamaw. They tossed the whole mech off to her, she got the Sekhmet outta there with some conversation and offers of therapy, and everybody turned out pretty alright. She's apparently a very good underground fighter now.

Where was I? Ah, right! The Balor eating the Blackbeard.

So! I'm sitting there haggling the price with Mamaw, and she's making sure to get a good list of what I want off of the BB. Mid-conversation, she trails off while looking over my shoulder after we've finally got the price figured up and paid. I turn around, and my Balor's just... Eating the Blackbeard.

Greywash fully in effect, swarming the wreckage: It was like watching a swarm of locusts pull apart a 3-D puzzle. They'd find the weld-seams and bolts, pull 'em apart like a damn surgeon, pulled the whole chunks into the swarm, and then go back for seconds and thirds.

Weirdest part was, the Balor seemed almost... Gentle, as it worked. Held the parts it was pulling in almost reverently, and when the Blackbeard was down to just the framework and wiring, it picked it up and... hugged it. Held it, like a close friend instead of a meal.

And as it ate, it just got... Bigger. Went from standing with plenty of room in the warehouse we were sifting through to scraping the ceiling. And then...

VRRP. No more Blackbeard.

I turned back around to Mamaw, and she seemed pensive about the whole thing for a moment or two before she started smiling.

"A good eating young-'un, there. You take good care of them, you hear me?"

Well. I couldn't help but agree.

So, yeah: That's how my Balor hypothetically ate a Blackbeard. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see somebody with a hypothetical Goblin to work on some hypothetical VPN-work. TTFN!

Ok so I’ve got corporate distracted for a bit so I can post this because letting this be my sole spoils of war here would be unfair to everyone on the Omninet

Also I’m gonna kick this down the road back to @horus-unofficial to please explain to me what’s going on with that Balor

That kinda sounds like it’s alive

Anyways back to standard corpro-posting love you guys

—the intern

[inthishousewestanspiderpunk]

Hey all! Long see, no time! I know this has been a Spiderpunk blog lately, but I'm still very much into Encanto and when I saw an OC appreciation month event run by @encanto-extended-edition, I figured why not? Now, I was going to go with another OC of mine called Nadja and whilst she will still pop up, the focus is going to mainly be on Ariadne and her daughter, Luz. I hope you enjoy this and also give the other blogs taking part in this a look! They're a great bunch of people and deserve all the love!

TTFN, ta ta for now!

Charlotte :) x

Name - Ariadne "Ari" Cabrera

Height - 5"2

Looks reference - Adassa

Colours - teal (dress) , gold (make up and bandana) , magenta (shawl)

Age - 28

Drawing done by @prophetic-hijinks

Born in the impoverished area of Cartegena to a poor, but loving and resourceful single mother, Ariadne "Ari" Cabrera is the mother of Luz, best friend of Noelle and later on, becomes Bruno's wife. She has two younger brothers, Fernando and Ricardo, and being the oldest child and no father figure in the house, she was unoffically made the second parent. As a result, she had to grow up more quickly than others her age and would confide in her stuffed toy pig, Chicharrón.

She's similar to Mrs Squibbles in Monsters University in that she's motherly and caring, but loves her "weird" music, mainly pop punk and Camilo is surprised she knows a lot of the same bands he enjoys. Having two younger brothers as well as her ex partner being into similar, she's more than familiar with it.

Ariadne is small, but very strong and stocky. She's actually one of the strongest ones without a gift and bonds with Luisa on weightlifting and proper technique, as well as their shared love of Greek mythology.

She's always been very headstrong and from a young age, she has been able to stand up for others, but not always herself. However, it wasn't until Luz was born that she started to talk back, her reasoning being how would Luz have the courage to stand up to herself and say no if she sees her mama can't do it for herself? And she doesn't want her daughter growing up thinking that her place is in the home and that she has to obey men and authority.

[black-infertility-life]

Hello beautiful people,

Sorry it's been a while. So a bit of an update. We've graduated from our clinic!! Yay!! We got to see our little Embie twice before graduating.

My first prenatal appointment I did have to go by myself because hubby was working but it was okay. I was a bit annoyed about how behind things were. I had my second appointment scheduled for the afternoon to see if timing is any better. I got to see our little Embie again this time on an abdominal ultrasound. They keep moving around it's so beautiful. I also had some bloodwork completed and a pap smear which apparently you have to have with your first prenatal appointment.

I also have my MTM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) Doctor appointment scheduled. I actually had to get that rescheduled today. I'm a bit annoyed since it's apparently a virtual appointment and I'll have my ultrasound on the same day. I'm hoping it's not the norm, I'll be having a talk with them about that just because I don't have virtual appointments with any of my important doctors and I don't feel comfortable having all my appointments with the doctor being virtual.

Today was the final day for the PIO shot!!! Yay!!

(image of Carlton dancing with the words "OH YEAH, OH YEAH" written)

Just 2 more weeks of the Love shot and then no more shots.

ttfn

Love yourself, Take Care of Yourself

[soapysudz]

I was just thinking how a Ketterdam and Gotham crossover/mashup has so many possibilities! I haven't really seen much tho so here are some thoughts.

I picture it as slightly more Gotham, set in the modern (ish) world but also having the political systems and gangs of the Barrel mixed in. The grisha would still have the categories of powers that they do in the grishaverse but less organized, basically considered a subset of meta (my head is currently full of stress so sorry for any and all lore mistakes I make!).

So there's beginning SoC Kaz with the Crows and he hears right away when there's a certain up an coming crime lord in town. Kaz wants to get his revenge on Pekka Rollins but there's the issue of his debt and how many gang leaders don't take him seriously because he's young and walks with a cane. After gathering more info and concocting some convoluted plan that has 43 steps and 15 backups he meets with the Red Hood to see if they can come to a mutually beneficial agreement as Kaz has tabs on pretty much everything in Ketterdam and all the political gang stuff that goes on. He also has PLANS that I'm pretty sure Jason would disrupt and Kaz is gonna do his best to integrate him into those plans while also maybe helping direct him in what he should be doing for optimal takeover.

Like if Kaz has the firepower of the Red Hood to add to his plans? Absolutely terrifying. Ofc there would be interpersonal conflict but that's like half the fun, the character dynamics possibilities are endless! I was thinking that the generally fanon accepted rules that Jason has (I'm more familiar with SoC canon and am more fuzzy on dc details so apologies) like regulating the drug trade, protecting sex workers, etc and strict enforcement of those rules are all things that Kaz wouldn't mind AND if Jason took down Tante Heleen's Menagerie? That would be a great scene for after everyone has started working together and taking over, maybe Jason doesn't know Inej's history but he can probably guess and offers to torture Tante Heleen for her (do I hate Heleen? Yes I do) wether or not he does Tante Heleen won't be conducting her business ever again.

I think that Kaz could definitely spruce up Jason's ten step revenge plot but how idk. For real tho, Kaz's lack of experience is one of the few things holding him back, when he's older? Even just late twenties, it'll be over for everyone lol.

The Barrel seems Crime Alley adjacent so those can be smashed together (would that make Kaz from Metropolis?? Lol but nah probably some farming state)

Omg what if Dick is Inej's brother? Doesn't really fit I think but just an idea. That'd be so freaking sad tho, she's gonna search for her parents and not know they're dead :(

Batman does batman stuff I guess, I didn't really care about him when I was thinking of this crossover but there could be interesting ideas for him. I feel like there's so much going on in Ketterdam/Gotham (Gothdam?lol) that he'd be run ragged and honestly I'd understand him barely putting even a dent in crime there. I'd still have Duke be a meta as opposed to a grisha mostly bc he's closest to a sun summoner and I'm not a fan of the Shadow and Bone books. Damian should definitely have his metal spine, maybe he's a Fabrikator or got that spine put in by one. Steph might be on the very fringes of Crows activity, I really like when her and Jason are besties in fics bc I feel like they have the least amount of baggage/history and have similar backgrounds so its easier if u want to ease him into the batfam one person at a time. Not that I've decided if that's what's happening here but anyways. I'll have more later, ttfn and please take any of this and run with it! Imma tag this thing Gothdam au.

[mrabubu]

*waddles into your inbox and hands out a small boquet of pink roses with a crooked grin*

Howdy friendo! Just wanted to drop in and give my love and appreciation for your fine work!

Like your style is deliciously unique and sharp I could just eat it up yum yum. Your lines a delightfully crisp and clean and the simple power and motion in your poses is ✨ S T U N N I N G ✨

I wanted to give you these flowers because a: Pink roses in floriography sweetness, appreciation, and admiration and I truly appreciate the sweet work you do. B: your art is pretty, so I think you deserve something pretty too.

Anyway, I hope you're doing a great job honey and your efforts are being noticed. Your art inspires me and puts a smile on my face, and I want you to know that YOU are making a difference in peoples lives. As such, I sincerely hope you are taking care of yourself because you absolutely deserve it.

Well *offers a theatrical bow with the roll of my hand* I must bid thee adieu my dear and wish you the happiest of holidays. TTFN✨🧡

I I'M

UGH

HNG

HHHHHNNNNGGHH

Thank you So much

[sentient-rift]

"Gunvolt, you're so powerful."

"Uh... Thanks, I guess. Though, it can be a double-edged sword sometimes. Especially during that... 'Primal Dragon' incident. I'm glad Kirin was there to stop me at the time and get my power under control, but...

"...I hurt... Many people I cared about because of that... Including Quinn. I had to separate myself from her because of that... And it only got worse. My power went out of control again, and Kirin had to take me down. If it wasn't for RiFT saving me at the last minute, I'd be gone for good... At least, this version of me. Apparently, I came from a branching timeline, and the the other Gunvolt would have survived. But still, RiFT managed to save me, get my powers under control, and give me another chance to use my powers to protect those I care about. Hopefully this time, I can keep them under control so they won't hurt them."

"I believe you can, Gunvolt. I've really grown ever since I joined the team, thanks to wonderful friends like Nana and Luna. We'll be here to back you up."

"I appreciate that, Elise. You really have grown. You're no longer that timid girl being controlled by Sumuragi. You can hold your own without those twisted versions of yourself trying to command you... I'm really glad RiFT saved you and gave you this chance. I'm also glad we can be friends now. Even when we had to fight in the past, I could never see you as an enemy..."

"Oh, believe me... If you knew the kind of person I used to be, maybe you would see me as an enemy in the past..."

"Hey... I didn't have the best past in the world... So don't beat yourself up about yours..."

"H3LL0, fellow Adepts! I can see that I'm interrupting a heartwarming moment and all, but would U be so kind 2 tell me where Nana is? I gotta thank her for the new computer."

"Oh. Hi, Teseo. She's over at Welch's shop. Right over there."

"THX, peeps! TTFN!"

Teseo went his way, humming his theme song tune happily.

"...That confirms it. Teseo's in love."

(I might write a drabble of Teseo thanking Nana later.)

[pessimistpress]

Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week again? Kids! It's finally cold! See, here in our lair, we welcome the cold. Timmy likes curling up under his electric blanket. Doctor Pessimist likes the return of Pumpkin Spiced Lattes. Hooray! Halloween is getting closer, kids. Don't forget to take care when doing tricks and treats. There are lots of weirdoes out there. Oh, and if you see Mr. Hypocrite out there, remind him that he's a jerk. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Teddy Pt.2

Nancy: Fuck yes

Teddy: ♾️

Nancy: The sort of time loop I want to be stuck in

Teddy: & tattoo [someone you both know] is stuck with

Nancy: 🤣

Nancy: I don’t have any

Teddy: Me either

Nancy: Good, you’d look spoiled in a bad way

Teddy: You’d look cheap, which is only ever a terrible thing

Nancy: I know, trashy

Nancy: any friend I’ve had that didn’t already have some, I’ve convinced to get one whilst hammered

Teddy: Which of Grace’s are your fault?

Teddy: I assume ⚓

Nancy: Guilty 😶

Teddy: Promise you won’t convince me

Nancy: I’ll 🤞 behind my back

Nancy: but it really would be a waste of your potential so, I probably won’t

Teddy: What does she think the ⚓ is supposed to symbolise?

Nancy: Keeping grounded 🙏

Teddy: 🙄

Nancy: How the deadweight reference didn’t occur, is a mystery 

Nancy: deciding what top 10 cliches would do the most damage on you…

Teddy: If you decide to inflict pain on me, that’s not breaking into the top 100

Nancy: You’ve thought about it that much, I see 

Teddy: I don’t have anything else to do, you keep rejecting my invitations to go out

Nancy: and I can tell how much that hurts, baby 🥺

Teddy: 💔 if I had a heart

Nancy: I’m so glad that you don’t, it means we can hang out for real

Teddy: & you won’t care when I spend tonight with [someone he knows it will upset her if he hangs out with, for whatever reason]

Nancy: 🙂 Not at all

Teddy: Fantastic

Nancy: You’re such a prick

Teddy: ?? 🤔

Teddy: I don’t know what I could have possibly done or be intending to do which would illicit a reaction like that, darling

Nancy: I meant to say enjoy your evening, of course

Nancy: wrong chat

Teddy: I will, of course

Nancy: I’ll let you go, before my drunk dialling can get any worse

Teddy: TTFN

Nancy: not even the bears catchphrase…

Teddy: Oh, well, we’re equal in our 💬 faux-pas

Nancy: [spending more of his money like a petty queen, in a way that is somehow attention-grabbing, like buying lingerie vibes]

Teddy: & there’s absolutely no need for me to tell you to enjoy your evening, it appears

Nancy: Why go out when I can bring the party to me?

Nancy: I’m just too comfortable here tonight

Teddy: 🥂

Nancy: Goodnight, Teddy

Nancy: I hope the next time I see you you aren’t covered in sores

Teddy: Being infected by your cousin is a risk I’ll have to take if she brings her open sores to [the coffee place]

Nancy: We can tar her with the same brush, sure

Teddy: I’m sure if she doesn’t already have a feather tattoo somewhere it’s simply a matter of time

Nancy: It can’t be culturally appropriative when you’re a % not white

Teddy: Perfect

Nancy: Kinda your type

Teddy: Nobody has a type it’s [whatever year it is]

Nancy: I told you mine

Teddy: I don’t have one to tell

Nancy: Okay

Teddy: Seriously

Nancy: So why are you hanging out with [whoever this is]?

Teddy: Why not?

Nancy: Because they’re terrible, obviously

Teddy: You can do better, so I’ll ask you again, why not?

Nancy: I don’t want you to

Teddy: & why don’t you want me to?

Nancy: because

Nancy: don’t you wanna go get yourself a puppy instead?

Teddy: I thought you’d never ask

Nancy: Brat

Teddy: Are you wearing [whatever he told her to wear earlier when he suggested the idea]?

Nancy: I was about to send out the call, so obviously I’m dressed for a party

Teddy: It’ll be ideal puppy shopping attire, let’s go

Nancy: FINE

Nancy: are you sending a car for me?

Teddy: I’m diverting the car I’m in to come & pick you up

Nancy: You would have to be there

Teddy: The fun is picking MY favourite & rejecting the others, how else would I?

Nancy: I maintain the right to judge your judgment now I know you think [this person again lol] is a good time

Teddy: I don’t think that

Nancy: Good enough to use against me, I wouldn’t put myself through that for you

Teddy: I wanted to see you and now I am, that’s good enough for me

Nancy: It’s all about the puppy, remember

Teddy: You’re going to be its mother, it’s about playing house together

Nancy: Yeah, okay

Nancy: what are you going to name it?

Teddy: I don’t know, something 👑

Nancy: you’re going to want to stay over and be with it all the time, I know it

Teddy: It’d keep you up crying, I have to

Nancy: you think you’re a better father than I am a mother

Nancy: probably

Teddy: I’ll pull my weight

Nancy: I’m not worried you won’t

Teddy: What do you want to name him?

Nancy: depends what he looks like, you can’t tell until you meet them

Teddy: I think saying that could mean you’re a better mother than I’ll be a father, perhaps

Nancy: That’s handy because I’ve thought about it long and hard and you’re far too young to be called daddy so don’t even ask

Teddy: I’ve already stated you should call me whatever you want

Nancy: That’s why I’m still thinking about it

Teddy: Apply the same logic as your dog naming suggestion & don’t rule it out before you’ve tried it out

Teddy: you’ll be able to tell once it leaves your mouth

Nancy: You’re so blatant, cutie

Nancy: I’ll think of something to call you I haven’t anyone else yet

Teddy: Well done Alice, you’ve piqued my curiosity

Nancy: I can’t be screaming out Paddington in the throes of passion, not in good conscience 🤪🤣

Teddy: If you had a conscience, it may trouble it, quick as you’ve been to point out bestiality isn’t something which does it for you

Nancy: I know how this game works 

Nancy: you try to get me to admit to something shamefully scandalous so you can leverage it against me to have me do even worse for you 

Teddy: It’s adorable how suspicious you are of me

Nancy: I wouldn’t have picked you if you weren’t someone to be suspicious of

Teddy: But I wouldn’t have agreed to play games with your cousin if I was going to with you, this isn’t a doublecross it’s a collab

Nancy: There’s loads in it for you too, that’s why

Teddy: The arrangement is mutually beneficial

Nancy: Exactly

Teddy: You won’t leave the driver to do laps around your place then?

Nancy: Depends, are you going to behave like the perfect gentleman?

Teddy: For Grace, the rule doesn’t apply to you, none of them do

Nancy: Well I’m not sleeping with you

Teddy: We can be those kind of parents

Nancy: It is purely about the puppy, obviously

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: Are you going to come to my door or what

Teddy: Unless you’re still paranoid about us being seen

Nancy: You know what seen together actually entails 

Nancy: and none of that is happening today

Teddy: [Come to her door after however long of a pause is necessary to get there, clearly not a massive one]

Nancy: [making him collect you like a fancy lady when you are nothing of the sort lol, you love to see it, also wearing whatever he said you should because why not, have to keep you interested, just because we’re insisting you get this Grace situation locked down first doesn’t mean we’re not]

Teddy: [doing the whole walking her to the car thing, even though it’s probably pulled up on the doorstep, we all know his hand is on her lower back steering her in the direction because why take her arm when you could be more flirty about it]

Nancy: [the purposely poor attempt at pretending you aren’t LOOKING at him when you get into this car and get situated]

Teddy: [he has likewise purposely waited until now to kiss her hello on each cheek how posh peeps and Europeans do to make it more of a thing than it would’ve been on the doorstep, we see you sir]

Nancy: [likewise gripping onto his forearms in this moment more than you normally would just because we can ‘and how are you?’ as if this is the most casual question and you haven’t taken a dramatic u-turn into crazy today]

Teddy: [we’ll all pretend he’s smiling at her and her question and not the action that came before it lol ‘I’m excellent’ like of course I’m about to go puppy shopping and I’m buzzing about it so ‘as are you’ as he looks her over in this outfit shamelessly]

Nancy: [gesturing forward with your hand like drive on then, sir, despite the fact you have no idea where you’re going and this driver actually does lol, waving his comment away with the same hand like stop it you but we’re obviously pleased he appreciates whatever wholly inappropriate for the task outfit we’ve got on ‘not too shabby’ as if that’s your genuine appraisal from your continued LOOK]

Teddy: [‘oh you’ in his own faux dismissive manner like who me, no no, you shouldn’t have, as he makes himself v comfortable in this giant car he was travelling around in all on his own until a second ago, oh to be a rich teenage boy] 

Nancy: [grinning at him sideways before finally looking away and out the window in your own show of getting comfortable because cannot be phased by any of this, all your idea and your masterplan that you know exactly what you’re doing with, of course]

Teddy: [travel in silence for a minute while we all pretend there isn’t flirty tension between y’all so blatant even the driver is aware of it, he’s deffo doing the thing where he’s texting whoever it is she doesn’t like and he was supposed to hang with but now isn’t as if she can’t see what his phone screen says but purposely letting her see it]

Nancy: [shake your head like you’re not thrilled at this blatant blow-off of this person who assumedly only dislikes you because of something you definitely did/said ‘I could use a guard dog’ just throwing out the vibe you’re imagining for this dog]

Teddy: [‘I can’t blame you, the city’s going to the dogs’ it definitely is not, especially where y’all live, nevertheless he is saying this entirely seriously the way only a posh person could]

Nancy: [‘too bad the rest of the world is so backwards, anything beyond a season is intolerable’ the snobbery your fam would snatch your weave for ‘I have less and less reason to stay though’]

Teddy: [‘I can think of somewhere you’d find more than tolerable’ when you’re thinking of Chlo’s villa wherever that may be and the absolute mayhem you could cause there even though and especially because that place has 0 to do with James anymore, so obviously fill her in on what you’re thinking about]

Nancy: [‘you’ll need to destress before your big day’ as an agreement it sounds like a good idea but also a reminder of the plan]

Teddy: [‘Before the stress of the honeymoon’ said like he’s HORRIFIED at the prospect, soz Grace, just reminding her how much he doesn’t actually wanna bang Grace as if she’s gonna marry in white and that’s the first time they will, lol imagine, you’d have to marry her even quicker than y’all go ahead with this if that was the deal]

Nancy: [smirking ‘In [a place that is expensive but wealthy people think is tacky and not the mood], no doubt’ absolute shade at Grace and her taste there ‘So devastated my invite doesn’t extend that far’ with a faux pouty face because even Grace isn’t going to insist on having her bestie on her honeymoon lol]

Teddy: [A face like EW ‘I’ll HAVE TO overrule her’ like no, disgusting, I can’t, as if your taste is any better sir but you think so, putting his hand on her arm and stroking it in what’s supposed to be a comforting there there manner but is actually just flirty af ‘console yourself with the fact mine’s open ended’ he do mean the villa but he also means so much more than, we’re all aware]

Nancy: [‘husbands prerogative’ like if anyone is allowed to tell her what to do and where to go, it’s you, again, the flirtiest vibe which could just be you being wink wink nudge nudge obvs I don’t mean that but we know what the actual tea is here, as we’re putting our hand on top of yours for the briefest moment like we’re accepting the consoling ‘too bad I can’t be on the stag and hen’ again like it’s casual and just because you know them both and not what you’re actually saying there]

Teddy: [‘it’ll be firm but fair’ keeping this flirty as hell vibe going by giving the daddy energy ‘Are you at least going to give me a private send off I can console myself with?’ not at all casual]

Nancy: [‘of course’ tapping his hand again, lingering slightly longer this time ‘there’s a lot of history to toast to’ because you do actually know each other, as opposed to Grace who is getting this basic stranger thrown at her]

Teddy: [‘& I’ll be a firm fixture in your present for such a long time’ just gotta remind her of that fact rn immediately cos about to share so much more than history ‘if the walls of your spare room could talk, the toast they would give’ like lol imagine]

Nancy: [‘firmer’ as if it’s a correction, like you’re only getting more relevant but doesn’t mean you already aren’t but in actuality, we just wanted to EMPHASIZE the fuck out of the word and say it in the most indecent way we can here and now, shaking our head like imagine indeed]

Teddy: [‘yes’ to agree as indecently because he’s already emphasising it in his own way by shifting in his seat to get more comfortable in a way that’s blatant about why he suddenly wasn’t comfortable in the position he was in and really draws attention to it, but could all also just be really casual if he was somebody else]

Nancy: [just watching him with no shame because you can look, it’s not as if we don’t know what the vibe is here ‘alright, darling?’ like you’re clueless though]

Teddy: [an amused noise with 0 shame either ‘perfectly’ that actually does sound casual and so unfazed to a degree you should not be able to pull off sir given that you’re clearly not just here chilling and are actually turned on and getting more so by the second, but I get it, you’re gonna pull this plan off so that’s clearly a skill you have]

Nancy: [doing a small nod like good but you’re nodding your head towards his crotch like if there was any doubt I didn’t notice, just know I so did ‘if there’s anything you need from me-’ like you’re talking about this wedding purely ‘-don’t hesitate’]

Teddy: [making such a show of getting more comfortable as if it’s like yep yep look how fine I am btw but he’s just positioning said crotch more blatantly towards her ‘I wouldn’t, without you none of it is possible’ could be talking about the wedding but he’s referring back to earlier when he said he’d have to think of her to fuck Grace, again soz gal]

Nancy: [crossing and uncrossing our legs a few times casually but of course it actually isn’t and is just the most subtle way to touch yourself whilst it’s perfectly clear to him what you’re doing there ‘you’ll make me blush’ the tone is innocent enough but the 😈 is far from a blush]

Teddy: [he’s watching her do this as unsubtly so, like I said, y’all are well suited ‘my sincerest apologies’ in the least sorry tone he could possibly use ever]

Nancy: [‘give me a foot massage, if you’re really sorry’ kicking off your heels like you’ve been anywhere today to have sore feet, okay ma’am, throwing your feet into his lap like it’s nbd and you’re being cheeky in that sort of way, not the way you actually are]

Teddy: [doing it though, and doing the absolute most, soz to this driver because god knows where they are going to get this puppy and how long you’re gonna have to endure their nonsense]

Nancy: [truly, because they really do not care and I just vibe you’re probably going out of London to do this so it’s going to be a minute; we’ll be here with our smug satisfied smile at getting you to do this, turning into noises of satisfaction, again as if you really need this ‘I’m so tired’ not even specifying of what or in general but NEED to get across how much we DO need this]

Teddy: [‘you’ve had a busy day’ as if she really has, in a genuine oh you poor thing tone, because in terms of scheming and then y’all flirting and turning each other on she has ‘you need to destress too before your other houseguest arrives’ said like the dog is the fun houseguest you’re about to have and Grace is the utter flop, rude but lowkey true lol]

Nancy: [making the mhmm you do to agree hit by starting out higher pitched and getting deeper like he’s just hit a spot that really feels good, doing the most flippant laugh after about Grace coming because so true bestie ‘I have so much experience being a dog mum’ soz to call you a dog there gal, just giving how suitable for looking after an excitable puppy we are, as we’re using the foot he isn’t currently paying attention to, to gently knead his thigh]

Teddy: [‘he’s going to love you’ nothing casual about how he’s saying that obviously ‘there’s no one more attentive’ added as she starts giving him attention]

Nancy: [‘that’s why I want him’ like duh that’s why people love dogs but again, nothing duh about this doublespeak we’re engaging in in this car today ‘someone to focus on’ letting your toes go higher and higher but never fully putting them where he’d want]

Teddy: [‘& I love it when a plan comes together’ said like you’re going to get EVERYTHING you want, gal, and so am I, as he really goes in with this foot massage like see]

Nancy: [‘you see the bigger picture, some people never do’ said as a compliment and a thing we like about you when the doublespeak is that you two are the only people who know what’s going on here, actually and poor Grace isn’t going to have a clue; dramatically slamming your hand into the middle seat between y’all because feels that good and you simply need to grip onto this leather rn]

Teddy: [doing his own mhmm like he agrees with what she said about him and it isn’t just to keep a noise in because we’re all !! in this car rn, WATCHING her hand as dramatically, moving slightly but so deliberately again in his own seat cos same simply must]

Nancy: [biting your lip and fumbling with your other hand to grab your bag and get out some cigarettes ‘he’ll pay you’ like whatever amount will make you not complain about me smoking in your car, not stopping to consult either of these men just like there’s an amount you’ll accept and he’ll give it to you, end of; not lighting one for Teddy, nor offering the pack but we are leaning forward to hold it in your mouth for you to have some drags because your hands are busy and nothing else is acceptable, obviously]

Teddy: [tbf she’s not wrong, this driver will have a price and Teddy will pay it lol, the actual audacity of how intimate and hot that is as gesture though, rude boo, v rude, look your hottest doing it please boy, that’s the least you can do, as well as keeping this foot massage going in the most !! way possible]

Nancy: [we clearly think so, just being shamelessly more reactive about said foot massage and how it’s making us feel because it isn’t cheating, it’s not like this is intimate at all lollollol ‘my ex was SO into feet’]

Teddy: [‘[the one she was going to call earlier]?’ like do you mean him or another of your exes, but not giving her a chance to answer before you’re telling her any outrageous foot stories you have, whether that’s him on the receiving end or doing it or both because you do love to kiss and tell like you said and don’t care that this driver can also hear you]

Nancy: [half shrugging because honestly, it is irrelevant, hence we’re not bothered by you cutting our reaction off there, shaking our head, amused ‘I fail to see why anyone sleeps with you anymore’ v obvious by how you said that that you don’t but we’re talking about the total lack of secrecy, of course]

Teddy: [‘You’re the luckiest girl in the world that rule not applying to you either’ like don’t worry gal your secrets are safe but it’s such a shame because it’ll all be so hot and everyone would want to hear it and I’d love to boast about it]

Nancy: [‘SO special’ rolling our eyes like we don’t believe you for a second but still amused, not offended]

Teddy: [a nod like true because he clearly thinks so]

Nancy: [kicking him, lightly, but straight up on his jaw when he nods like shut up lmao, calm down miss thing, also be careful you aren’t flashing him]

Teddy: [‘mind blowing’ like see, I told you, I said what I said, because he loves this and her obvs]

Nancy: [‘you don’t know yet’ but that yet is so deliberate because not the kind of tease that all of this will be for naught, what would be the point]

Teddy: [‘I’m not alone in being indiscrete’ like I know because peeps run their mouths or I know because I’m calling you indiscrete and I’ve seen some shit at parties or whatever, or both]

Nancy: [we all know you are the messiest bitch so no, you are absolutely not the picture of discretion yourself lmao ‘maybe it’ll be different’ because lowkey the vibe is you’ve never had a serious relationship you truly cared enough about and in your mind that seems to change you fundamentally because look at what happened to your siblings]

Teddy: [‘Are you telling me I’M special?’ in a whisper like it’s a big secret the driver can’t share in, playful because he believes he is to everyone in that god’s gift way but not yet to her seriously or that he could be seriously]

Nancy: [kicking you with the foot being massaged so lowkey in the crotch, again, gently enough if not as gentle this time, pulling our feet away from you after too ‘you could note the maybe’ like that’s where the emphasis was and maybe is in the dad way of definitely not]

Teddy: [We’re not even bothering to mask or hide that the noise in reaction to that kick was one, excuse him driver, pulling her feet back to him not at all gently, it’s a grab and it’s !! ‘it’s noted’ as he goes at this foot massage anew giving it everything like he’s got something to prove and he is about to]

Nancy: [‘fuck’ pretending that that’s in relation to him pulling your feet back to him but you’d sound more fuming than you do just purely frustrated with it ‘you’ adding it as if that was the intended full sentence and you aren’t shifting down in your own seat to push your feet at him even moreso]

Teddy: [his own ‘fuck’ sounding shamelessly indecent again with no attempt to be otherwise ‘me’ getting added to make his own full sentence as she does that because can’t not]

Nancy: [tipping your head back so you’re resting it on the window, attempting to look out of so you aren’t looking at him because you’re too !! but you wanna so you inevitably end up looking back at him]

Teddy: [saying her name exactly like we’d all expect it to sound rn because he’s as !! LOOKING at her whilst doing the most to try and give her a footgasm here despite how rare they are and hence almost impossible of a task that is]

Nancy: [we are too into how it feels paired with the insane tension this deal you came up with is putting y’all through right now ‘I want to’ as if you’ve let enough time pass that this driver is too thick to put that all together but in actuality, you just don’t care, the but we can’t being left unsaid]

Teddy: [just carrying on like that but doesn’t exist because he wants to too much as well, again soz Grace, moving her foot around in his lap so deliberately as he massages it harder than he has so far ‘I want to make you blush’ we all know what he means by that, this poor driver included]

Nancy: [shaking your head like the movement will cover the little noise that couldn’t help but escape you right there and then, WATCHING what he’s doing to you and himself so intensely, lowkey not blinking here ‘I won’t’ but the most MAYBE in the tone ever]

Teddy: [‘you won’t go red for me?’ me like this is not the unbreakable code you think it is sir lol ‘the reddest you’ve ever gone for anyone?’]

Nancy: [‘you have to want it more’ whilst we can and are blatantly feeling how much you already do want it ‘give me more’]

Teddy: [gripping her ankle with the same energy and intensity as she did that seat before letting his hand travel up her leg higher, almost to a shameless degree but likewise stopping before he’s anywhere she’d really want him ‘What about how much you want it?’ calling you out for how into it and turned on you blatantly also are, gal, soz ‘give that to me’ pulling her into his lap in a hot move]

Nancy: [‘no’ and folding your arms like he can’t now all but feel it like you can him sat in his lap like this, as if the denial means it’s not got this far ‘you know what you have to do’ turning your face fully towards his which in this proximity is a lot]

Teddy: [catch this boy moving in a way neither of them can deny like that’s what I have to do rn immediately ‘& you know I’ll do it, Nance’ holding her crossed arms like she did his forearms earlier, but not uncrossing them or anything, still just moving for the double meaning like I mean the Grace thing but I also mean the ‘blushing’ thing]

Nancy: [leaning your folded arms against him otherwise you would have to uncross them to grab onto him right now and mustn’t ‘you won’t, you’ll be obsessed with me’ kinda like a joke like ugh story of my life but we know you don’t actually have that kind of confidence but we’re also not convinced you’ll follow through with the plan without this incentive still in place]

Teddy: [‘I already am, that’s why I agreed at all’ like I don’t actually think you were when you agreed to the plan at the beginning but by the time we got extra and mentioned the marriage part of the plot you definitely were and that’s why you were all in, not just cos it’s fun and chaotic behaviour]

Nancy: [‘you want to hurt her with me’ because we are aware you could fuck with a multitude of girls in any way you liked on your own, if you are so inclined ‘I’m what makes it good?’]

Teddy: [a nod which in this proximity has your face so up in her face and almost touching ‘she’s irrelevant to me other than the fact you picked her, it’s you I’m interested in’]

Nancy: [opening your mouth in a GASP but not actually making the sound of it ‘she’s who I want to fuck with most, that I can’ because neither your mother nor your sister are falling for this boy and we know it, soz]

Teddy: [‘so use me to ruin her life, but you have to let me into yours’ just laying his terms out like this is how it has to be]

Nancy: [‘don’t say ruin right now’ with a lil smile because too close in every way but eventually doing a barely-there nod to these terms]

Teddy: [closing his mouth as dramatically as she opened hers but a moment ago like okay, but really we also have to clamp our mouth shut so as not to say anything extra/make !! sounds because he has ramped up the way he has lowkey been dryhumping her this entire time and is doing the most because they are both feeling that type of way]

Nancy: [‘I changed my mind, say it’ and making an attempt to open his mouth not at all casually with our fingers like no, I wanna hear, laughing in such an indecent way, the sound being bumped by the way he’s moving and the effect it is having on us ‘I’ll tell you whatever you wanna know’]

Teddy: [ofc he’s doing the most with those fingers when he catches them with his mouth, he has to it’s the law, muffling the sound that escapes with them at least slightly therefore, the driver is welcome ‘Everything’ cos it’s what he said when she asked what he wanted to see earlier and it’s the vibe]

Nancy: [unceremoniously snatching those fingers away to suck on them yourself when he says that because beyond 🥺 and you need to taste his spit immediately]

Teddy: [just STARING at her like he’s never seen anyone do this before despite the fact he absolutely has because that’s how it feels, she’s like a different animal to everyone else and he is fascinated af]

Nancy: [shamelessly reaching under your skirt/dress situation this clearly is to then touch yourself with said fingers, again purely because it isn’t him technically touching you, even if the dryhumping is pushing things so it is essentially him doing it via you]

Teddy: [his reaction pushing things further so it feels like it’s him doing it, both in terms of these dry hump antics and the sound he made WATCHING her do this]

Nancy: [going way harder with how you’re bouncing against him/these fingers because soz we truly don’t care that there’s a driver here, again, you’ll have your price and we’re rude like that]

Teddy: [he’s the exact same rude bitch and he’d only be encouraging her in every possible way, including literally telling her to go harder with her earlier ‘give me more’ sorry to that man]

Nancy: [being very intentional with where you are repositioning yourself in his lap and making sure you land there every time, because if there were no clothes in the way right now he’d fully be inside her too ‘am I blushing, Teddy?’]

Teddy: [‘yes, darling, you’re SO red’ we all know how he sounds as he says this ‘I’ll have to pay him not to see it’]

Nancy: [‘you want him to see more’ in the sense that you like an audience but also that you wish more was happening, clearly a hard same so pot kettle but you know ‘redder, make me redder’ so sincerely at this point]

Teddy: [a noise that can leave nobody in any doubt that’s true in every sense before he’s focusing all his energy on trying to achieve that whilst still not technically crossing any of the lines she’s established here as pre-Grace meet cute rules]

Nancy: [it’d be so obvious that your natural instinct is to make out with him right now but you cannot so you just keep STARING at him and moving your face closer and then away again like you’ve just remembered ‘cos basically]

Teddy: [it’s so real, I’m sure he’s simply had to rest his cheek or forehead or nose against hers for a sec before then having to pull away because hard same, likewise the amount of times he’s grabbed the seat or her clothes because dare not hold her or grab any bare skin or her hair or else he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from kissing or touching her more than he’s allowed to]

Nancy: [when this boy has never had to wait or want for anything lowkey a day in his life, from where you stand, so the idea is simply too appealing and you have to go through with it, including blue balling yourself as well as him because willing to be that unhinged about it when you could just, bang, lmao]

Teddy: [it’s very legit for who she is and also there very much is an element of him being so highkey because he can’t have her so I get feeling like he’s gonna be uninterested once he has, you can’t risk that when you know if you keep him like this he’ll do whatever you want]

Nancy: [mhmm mhmm, hence we are quite literally jumping out of your lap like ‘Oh, are we here?’ at the driver, whether we are or aren’t even close, just as if that wasn’t happening and we’re just making chit-chat when we have barely acknowledged your existence before now]

Teddy: [looking at her with such a bizarre mix of anger and amusement because on the one hand how dare you and we are frustrated af and wanna sulk and be fuming but on the other gotta love how evil and unhinged she is and the obvious game she’s playing to keep him interested which is exactly what he would do and clearly has done to other peeps before]

Nancy: [go on your phone because it appears so effortlessly nonchalant, as if you literally don’t know Teddy is there now, nor care but you actually give yourself some headspace to cool down because also just did it to yourself]

Teddy: [excuse me about to message because she is so obviously on her phone]

Teddy: Well played 🎾

Nancy: You seemed to be enjoying it

Teddy: Minus the rather abrupt calling off of the game at the end there

Nancy: You didn’t like that bit the best?

Teddy: Are you asking me to pick a favourite?

Nancy: Now I am

Teddy: Well, I think it’s a shame you’re using your fingers to type the question instead of what you had been using them for

Teddy: but I liked when you used your hand to take your frustration out on the seat as much, maybe more, perhaps the best

Nancy: I’m all done

Nancy: [putting your hand back in the middle but not GRABBING at the seat because you’re chill, see]

Teddy: [touching her hand, but just for a second because he’s chill too]

Nancy: [looking down at this with the !! you’re not taking out on the seat this time]

Nancy: I don’t know if anyone believes friends platonically hold hands

Teddy: Are we friends?

Nancy: I don’t know what other label you would put on brother dates my sister and is also soon to be wed to my cousin…

Teddy: I suppose, Ava was my friend & she fucked my brother, your family must invent its own definitions for all kinds of things

Nancy: He was married, if we want to talk about betrayals 

Teddy: I know, I went to the wedding, I can’t remember seeing you there

Nancy: We were barely out of school, that must’ve called to keep the guest list small

Teddy: There was his rehab to pay for, keeping that in mind would’ve had some effect on the guest list, no doubt

Nancy: I suppose that stopped them looking like permissive parents

Nancy: Chlo and J were just THAT in love, how could they refuse the baby bride and groom

Teddy: Performative parenting is where they shine ✨

Nancy: Oh, she probably also thought I fucked your brother, that’d be another factor in me not needing to buy a dress

Teddy: Didn’t you?

Nancy: Nah, literally everyone else did so I don’t know why it was such a problem if I had to her but 🤷‍♀️

Teddy: We all assumed you had

Nancy: What, like it was a family meeting?

Teddy: If you can call a Chlo rant a meeting, G & I would just call it a hilarious but predictable weekday evening for the era

Nancy: How embarrassing of her

Teddy: Nothing falls flatter than accusing the wrong sibling of a full blown affair

Nancy: As if she was ever any better anyway

Nancy: I guess the full extent of that didn’t come out ‘til Ava swooped in but hey

Teddy: She was propositioned less, but had she used the money on cosmetic procedures instead of weddings & babysitters, who knows? It wasn’t ever a lack of trying to be a whore

Nancy: Don’t you think she’s pretty?

Nancy: or was, it’s too late now, all the aforementioned babies

Teddy: Who can remember that far back?

Nancy: 😏

Teddy: She isn’t crazy in a hot way, that’s what matters

Teddy: it’s off putting, irrespective of her looks

Nancy: well, yes, you don’t actually want to be lumbered with children

Teddy: Or insecurity, especially when it butts heads against narcissism 

Nancy: You would say that

Teddy: You can quote me, I said it a second ago

Nancy: 🙄

Teddy: She isn’t hideous, she’s dramatic

Nancy: I know, we were friends

Teddy: You’re aiming your 🙄 at the wrong person, darling, is all I’m suggesting

Nancy: [don’t reply girl, just be scrolling aimlessly]

Teddy: [a lol like oh okay then bye]

Nancy: [looking up as if you were not the same girl in that convo and don’t know why he’s suddenly laughing]

Teddy: [busy yourself on your own phone like okay if that’s how you want it and this is what we’re up to now, you clearly have a lot of friends and a lot of hookups, sir, so there’d be texts to answer or plenty of posts to react to]

Nancy: [ahh the petty life y’all lead, soz that all that shit about Chlo felt like a pointed attack lmao so now you’re in this car and gotta do the same moodily]

Teddy: [when it wasn’t even though cos he clearly thinks she’s way prettier than Chlo who he has clearly never tried to hookup with despite her clearly having no qualms about it if he did wanna so he’s just like wtf you mad for lol]

Nancy: [when your insecurities jump out hence you can’t say shit ‘cos it would further prove the point you’re aware he probably wasn’t even tryna make, soz hun but this is what you get for being a mess]

Teddy: [soz he thinks you’re only crazy in a hot way rn but he do, meanwhile because he is a rude bitch catch him fully having a phone call with someone she can then only hear one side of]

Nancy: [can’t even tell this man to stop the car because you’re not in London, where would you go, have to settle for starting your own phonecall and not caring how hard it is to talk over each other because shameless, soz to whoever we’re bothering with this nonsense but you’re clearly not too important]

Teddy: [I imagine he was gonna make it quick cos whoever is clearly inviting him out and no cos he’s busy but then she starts hers and it’s too fun talking over each other and being petty so here we are]

Nancy: [now it’s just a competition, hope y’all get hung up on for being weird tbh haha]

Teddy: [I’ll be nice and say he gets hung up on first because he was talking longer and it’s obvious you’re prolonging a convo that doesn’t need to be so then shamelessly taking her phone and ending her call with 0 warning, soz not soz to whoever she was talking to]

Nancy: [when you can’t even fake that you’re mad because that was such a nothing convo the person probably thinks you’re out of it for the use it served, so you’re just shaking your head at him as if you can’t believe he did that but you’re clearly not fuming]

Teddy: [soz to this driver again because he will be fully lying down across these seats, head in her lap, looking up at her like OTT 🥺 vibes cos be my friend and talk to me]

Nancy: [when he looks adorable and that makes you feel some type of way to think that, flicking the ear furthest away from you like OI ‘you’re not the puppy’ stop trying to be cute and win me over because it’s working and I don’t approve]

Teddy: [‘spend some of my money on a collar & I could be’ when you’re joking but also too serious about that lol lol]

Nancy: [‘she’s meant to be the pet, remember’ but we’re toying with pulling whatever collar is on whatever you’re wearing tighter to your neck like lol okay]

Teddy: [smiling, no notes]

Nancy: [when you let go, stroking whatever faint momentary mark this has left on his skin all around his throat]

Teddy: [closing his eyes the way you gotta when something feels nice]

Nancy: [‘good boy’ fully saying that in the OTT high-pitched way you would to a puppy but frankly that’s weirder for the driver to have to endure so you only did that so this boy can’t think you’re seriously toedipping here]

Teddy: [opening his eyes and looking at her amused af ‘you’re going to say it like that every time, aren’t you?’ when you could mean the dog but you just mean to you, like lol okay]

Nancy: [‘depends on behaviour, obviously’ rolling our eyes like duh, not if this puppy/you are misbehaving, I’m not an idiot, nudging him slightly but not so he falls out of our lap quite yet]

Teddy: [‘I know it does’ like I said what I said, I am always gonna be a good boy, the best]

Nancy: [‘at least you’re not trying to convince me you’re an alpha type’ because just here being the softest]

Teddy: [‘Do you want me to roleplay as your twin?’ because that’s what Buster tried to convince peeps he is lbr, again amused not seriously accusing you of being into incest like so much of your fam, but making the joke for that reason so]

Nancy: [‘because that’s too far’ like it’s you who’s implied anything goes and is doing this here and now, flicking his nose this time]

Teddy: [sitting up purely so he can shrug more dramatically like meh idk I’d probably still do it, lowkey joking but where’s the lie tbh]

Nancy: [‘you don’t need a leash’ like oh you, so easily led astray, we are joking but also just reveal that lol]

Teddy: [‘True, I’ll stay close to you without one’ doing that with how unnecessarily close to her he’s sitting now]

Nancy: [‘stalker’ as if it’s a fond petname because you liked that he was going through your social media earlier, resting your head on his shoulder for the briefest second]

Teddy: [‘how many have you had?’ because she said she’d call him something she hadn’t called anyone else, and also just because he thinks she’s hot and rich and living cray so why wouldn’t she]

Nancy: [doing a little lol because none really but I’m sure you’ve called any dude who was too interested in you when you weren’t back a stalker so doesn’t technically count]

Teddy: [putting his head on her shoulder for a sec to do a lil nudge with it like oi as if you want actual figures and stats here about this and didn’t just wanna lowkey nuzzle into her shoulder with your head]

Nancy: [‘I’m old, remember’ like I’ve been around the block and been stalked many a time, boy lollollol, super casually holding his head back on your shoulder so you can pet his hair like it’s all part of the bit]

Teddy: [‘I don’t remember that, no’ because he doesn’t think of her as being old obvs or he wouldn’t wanna hang with her/they’d have a very different dynamic when they did ‘perhaps when I make you a milf, dog mother or otherwise’]

Nancy: [it is only 5/6 years so you don’t have to feel like a grandma and likewise you don’t actually care, we know you have no qualms in hanging out with literally anyone regardless of age appropriateness lol ‘so later then’ like you’re getting a dog today, tutting like charming but it’s all in good fun]

Teddy: [mhmm, you’ve been hanging out with Grace since she was like 13 and you’re gonna hang out with sulu when you’re old enough to be their mother so clearly unfazed ‘I offered to stay so the sleepless nights don’t turn you haggard’]

Nancy: [big yup ‘having you stay wouldn’t lead to any more sleep’ we said what we said and we mean exactly what you think with it]

Teddy: [‘okay, we’ll get matching IVs’ cos rich peeps things, they all love a bit of that]

Nancy: [‘I was thinking I should start injecting’ like lmao about the only way I’m not taking drugs am I right, picking up his arm to look at his veins but also just to look in general]

Teddy: [stroking the veins of her arm, however many he can with however much skin she has uncovered/he can uncover easily without it being a whole thing ‘I draw the line at fillers’ as if she meant getting lip injections and stuff because gotta again let her know we think she’s so pretty nbd]

Nancy: [doing a little intake of breath that wasn’t as quiet as we would have hoped at that contact and the implication of what he said ‘she does it’ ‘cos Samantha do and it’s v common for girls especially ones with insecurities like Grace’s so]

Teddy: [‘I can tell’ because soz Samantha but you can, it’s v noticeable unless you’re going for like half a ml really subtle vibes which most peeps aren’t, again so shady in his words and tone which is why it kills me you’re gonna fake being in love with her sir]

Nancy: [me like we really gave you dark sided fake dating and then gasping, so soz, no one deserves this hun, whatever sort of cringe you may be, this is rude ‘her sister is a model’ because all the context you need for why Grace is like this in our opinion ‘cos how we feel about Ava too]

Teddy: [WHY DID THAT NEVER OCCUR TO ME AND THEN YOU SAID IT AND I WAS LIKE OMFG AND NEARLY SCREAMED, excuse me for literally not realising that’s what’s happening, meanwhile this boy is so scornfully laughing like well what happened to her/where is her share of the prettiness levels of shade, so rude]

Nancy: [girl same, I had the thought and was truly shooketh, NOT the romcom moment you craved, how apt, how devastating; ‘and they’re twins’ just getting more animated describing the misfortune even though you secretly think it fits you too hence you’re meant to be best friends]

Teddy: [‘this is going to be even easier than I anticipated’ still loling, true but again rude sir, poor Grace, we’re actually so evil for this one]

Nancy: [‘she’ll do anything you want, I told you’ shrugging because that was basically your opening ploy, even though you know that's not really what he cares the most about now]

Teddy: [‘& I told you what I’m in this for’ suddenly serious and LOOKING at her because he did earlier if that wasn’t already blatant]

Nancy: [actually blushing and looking down ‘you’d be better just getting her to do all the depraved shit no one else has’ because can’t possibly admit we could like you, no no, SO impossible for you to achieve]

Teddy: [holding her chin and tilting her face back up so she has to look at him and he can see her blush better ‘you know what’s best for me, do you, Nance?’ like we’re calling her old and motherly with this was the intention but we’re too !! because he’s just knowing they’d be better suited and tis true]

Nancy: [only going to make you redder which you’re mad about but if you flinched away that’d be more of a blatant tell so you can’t and won’t ‘yes’ like of course I do, I’m a mastermind vibes but the yes on it’s own sounding more like something you just HAD to say]

Teddy: [has not let go of her face and is HARDCORE leaning in like he’s going to kiss her because obvs wants to so badly ‘if that’s true, let me have it’ basically against her lips because of how close he is]

Nancy: [GRABBING his other hand that is not on your face because you have to touch him and you conceded that perhaps friends could platonically handhold so this is the best you can do; the way you’re treating handholding like you are TOUCHING him is so insane, just being indecent about it in a way that’s lowkey impressive you managed]

Teddy: [fully a quiet, and therefore somehow more intense and intimate for it because there’s nothing for the driver’s benefit or extra about it, it’s just for her and because you had to, MOAN about this handholding as if she is TOUCHING him, because overwhelmed by it and how much he wants her]

Nancy: [kissing along the pad of his thumb that is on your face so you can the kiss and suck all his fingers because he did do that to you so only fair you’re allowed to too, not escalation, not exactly even though it totally is with how insanely close you are to just dropping the rules and going for it]

Teddy: [calling her darling as quietly and with all the feeling because we all remember him saying that earlier during what I imagine was the moment she made him cum when they were doing all that, not saying he is rn lol just saying he needs her know he feels as !! and emotionally compromised as he watches her do this]

Nancy: [his thumb popping out of your mouth as you basically moan ‘use them’ because that’s what you did and thus what he HAS to do now, soz we don’t make the rules except we do and we aren’t sorry, even if we wish we were the one touching you]

Teddy: [you gotta do it, that’s the law, not even being really extra about it because you know she’s gonna be watching you, just have to because that desperate for it]

Nancy: [has never been more focused in her life casually ‘good fucking boy’ not saying it at all how you did before because mean it too sincerely, rubbing your legs together aggressively rn as you watch him]

Teddy: [biting his lip so he doesn’t drown out any of the sounds of what he’s doing with any coming out of his mouth cos as ruster know it’s nearly impossible to touch yourself silently and he’s doing the opposite of trying to do that and he wants her to hear it as well as be able to see it, yet again soz to this poor driver, there isn’t enough money in the world but this boy has forgotten you exist again]

Nancy: [literally leaning forward so your face is more in line with his crotch than his face now, dangerously so but we can’t help but wanna be THAT close without technically touching you ‘will you cum for me?’ as a genuine question because we cockblocked you earlier so it is crossing our mind you may do the same]

Teddy: [‘spit’ like technically fine because it’ll only be touching him because proximity and he is already using hers from before anyways, likewise technically not answering her question other than the potential that he won’t be able to help but to]

Nancy: [the total lack of hesitation as you’re leaning up above his dick to just let it drool out of your open mouth, like if you got any closer you would fully be blowing him but of course when enough spit has pooled and we’ve maintained EYE CONTACT long enough to let you know how !! we are, we’ll move back slightly, back to where we’re watching you ‘like that?’ quietly, as if anything about that could be wrong]

Teddy: [the EYE CONTACT is insane, as is how hardcore he’s going at this while maintaining it, y’all are lucky this man hasn’t thrown you out of this car at the very least ‘it was good, you’re a good girl too’ because gotta let you know that even though it’s already obvious]

Nancy: [you must know he’s gonna pay you WELL ‘cos MVP of letting y’all do whatever you want here today ‘too good’ like this is behaving and you’re doing a marvellous job that should be applauded ‘too damn good’ as you’re shifting in your seat because obsessed with him and this entire scenario]

Teddy: [this driver has either had to put up with his nonsense before or knows others who have cos his rep precedes him and they all chat, either scenario I don’t love, you posh dickheads ‘sit here for a moment’ like her reward is being able to sit on his dick momentarily because she can’t get comfy in her seat]

Nancy: [mhmm, they know the score and it’s very rude of you but that’s how y’all act everywhere and to everyone; your turn to bite your lip like you’re considering it and shaking your head, making a frustrated noise like I can’t ‘I’ll fuck you’ like it’s that simple, I will not get off lol]

Teddy: [‘which is what we both want’ like it’s that simple because it is and he’s frustrated too]

Nancy: [‘I’ve never wanted anything more’ which feels the realest right now, moving further back, so we’re resting against our window again, almost like we’re scared of how badly we do want it]

Teddy: [stopping all these antics with such a dramatic sigh that’s too real because the frustration is, like ffs why can’t we then, leaning his head back against his headrest like UGH]

Nancy: [when you had considered the possibility he’d stop and you’re still taken aback by it but trying not to act it, even if you miss a couple beats, shrugging as a response to what was wordlessly just said through his actions there because you know why]

Teddy: [take a sec to calm down and get yourself together as much as is possible given the state you were in just a moment ago and the fact you’re still lowkey covered in spit, this is gonna be an awkward car ride now for a while but at least the driver will get some peace]

Nancy: [just fold your arms like if you’re going to be grumpy then I will be as well, this driver is welcome for this reprieve but that is about it]

Teddy: [cue y’all ignoring each other until you get there and can get out of this car lol]

Nancy: [lmao how awkward, at least there are literal puppies at the end of this journey to distract from this energy]

Teddy: [my boo says try and stay mad, how can you? And she’s so right for that, he’ll shamelessly get distracted judging all these dogs and get her to join in]

Nancy: [casual dog show, you can get into that because we need you back on side without having to apologize and tbf letting you keep a literal dog in our house is a pretty good way to go about it]

Teddy: [mhmm, you can forget about this tension and awkwardness by uniting in being openly cunty about adorable puppies and slightly more subtly shady about the random person you’re getting this dog off cos love to mock everything including this person’s gaff, fashion choices, general lifestyle and demeanour etc as if y’all aren’t also unbearable posh people making bad choices, ending up having a lovely time in spite of your moods when y’all arrived]

Nancy: [the casual state of y’all but do we care, no, can and will come for your life, soz random stranger, naturally getting won over by the dog you think is most handsome and impressive looking, nbd, actual guard dog energy]

Teddy: [I need to think of a name for this dog ngl am tempted by Rex cos it do mean king and not many peeps actually call their dogs that anymore, have to put my thinking cap on]

Nancy: [it does kind of suit, wouldn’t be opposed, you keep thinking ‘I like him more than you’ cheekily as this dog is being taken to do whatever the person needs to do]

Teddy: [like, we can’t really pick too cool of a name y’all are a bit basic, we know this and you name your child what is essentially y’all’s names mashed together so ‘you can’t already’ like nope, I don’t believe you]

Nancy: [this is true, hence Rex kinda works well for the purpose, grinning as you nod like sorry but I do ‘I love him’]

Teddy: [fuck it, let’s do it, it’ll be easy for her dyslexic ass to spell too so she’s welcome ‘Liar’ like no you don’t]

Nancy: [lmao truly ‘why don’t you want me to love my son?’ like lol let me be a good mother]

Teddy: [childishly and playfully throwing something that doesn’t belong to him and belongs to this random person at her because no respect for anything ‘why do you want me to be jealous of my son?’]

Nancy: [gasping like well how RUDE but don’t be mistaken, purely because it was thrown at us, not because it was thrown in general ‘I think that should be fairly obvious’ as you’re making an attempt to push him off whatever he is sat on]

Teddy: [actually pushing her off it instead with ease but catching her before she lands on the floor in the hottest move ‘equally as obviously, you’re going to be a terrible mother’ but saying terrible like he’s telling her she’s going to be the best ever and he’s so here for it]

Nancy: [‘you’re trusting me with your child’ after the stunned silence of thinking you were about to fall on your arse only to be saved by this boy in a hot manner ‘so who’s really bad?’ quieter and flirtier about it, ‘cos you are gonna have to say this is your dog ‘cos Teddy can’t be there when Grace arrives and he can’t take it home so, unless the meet-cute became oh this is my flatmate Teddy btw lol]

Teddy: [‘our child’ like a very necessary correction ‘& I’ll be there all the time to keep an eye on you both’ as flirty but also just true, we all know he is gonna be there so much even when Grace is not]

Nancy: [‘you’re lucky I’m not into this’ said like someone who is totally into this lol, just taking a moment to appreciate how much you were just touching because had to to ‘save’ you]

Teddy: [touching her more whether that’s her hair or clothes somewhere because the disarray of pushing her almost to the floor and then manhandling her is the excuse like the dog lady is gonna come back in and be horrified at the sudden state of her which I love given y’all’s shameless car antics and the fact he didn’t once do this then]

Nancy: [tbf, this lady probably is horrified and who can blame her, you’re lucky you get this dog, she must be a puppy farmer in it for the cash in which case, fuck you ma’am but that is not the point lol; point actually is that you’re just being the most in her house or whatever and unrepentant about it in all the ways, hence letting him do this graciously like thanks so much, heaven forbid I look a state]

Teddy: [‘you’re lucky I like you as much as I like him’ like you’re welcome for the fact you don’t look a state now thanks to me, also like you’re welcome I’m a better person/parent and like you my co-parent]

Nancy: [‘that doesn’t feel lucky’ like no like me more because we don’t care about being a hypocrite, even in this play scenario]

Teddy: [‘doesn’t it?’ feigning surprise that she’s not buzzing about that and we have no clue how she really feels lol]

Nancy: [shaking your head and leaning on him even though I’m sure you’re upright and stable again so you don’t need to but you are]

Teddy: [‘well, how does it feel?’ as if you don’t know, looking down at her from y’all’s height diff, sounding and acting like such a dad rn]

Nancy: [‘bad’ which is entirely undescriptive but helps as you are the child in this current scenario, pouting about it not even as a bit]

Teddy: [‘if you want me to like you more, like me more’ when you’re saying it casually as if you mean more than this puppy but we all know he doesn’t just]

Nancy: [giving him the most tentative hug, as if the world is gonna stop spinning or something equally dramatic at this]

Teddy: [hugging her back but equally barely as if he can’t possibly do even a tiny bit more back like the petty king he is, not because you too are afraid of being overwhelmed, no of course not]

Nancy: [‘glad I bothered’ as you nudge him/yourself out of this hug moment y’all just attempted like lol, thanks so much but it is bants not like FUCK YOU]

Teddy: [‘I am too’ not at all like he’s saying I’m glad I bothered too and entirely like he’s saying I’m glad you bothered fr with more feeling than he let himself put into the hug]

Nancy: [looking at him, for just a moment, with as much sincerity because we do like you and we’re not trying to deny that entirely, gonna make this lady come back in with the dog so instead of saying anything else, you can just slip your hand in his without having to say anything about it]

Teddy: [I love that, give this handhold everything you didn’t the hug because it feels safer somehow especially now this woman is here and we can pretend we’re doing it for the in love couple bit, hence keeping her hand in his for the entirety of what y’all have got left to do here until you can leave, only letting it go when you gotta carry this puppy to the new car that you’ve ordered to pick y’all up]

Nancy: [love this for y’all, just looking at him and this dog getting in this car like am I going to need to get in the front or not]

Teddy: [when you blatantly don’t want that to happen so making room for her even if it means the dog is literally all over you, also because it’s likely october as we said and she isn’t gonna be dressed for how freezing it could be, especially now that it must be getting later, demanding this driver turns the heat up and giving her his jacket until the car warms up more so that she isn’t cold, all like it’s nbd and not making a thing of it but]

Nancy: [when no one is ever nice to you because you are generally not a nice person and just a mess who only wilds, so it is definitely a thing but we’re also doing the nbd act here lest you know we’re here hugging this jacket around us for reasons other than being chilly]

Teddy: [catch him out here looking at her not even realising he’s smiling cos she looks adorable in that jacket, it’s fine, we can all pretend it’s the puppy who is being adorable whatever it’s up to]

Nancy: [I’m sure the puppy is being cute ‘can’t believe we did that’ as if this is the wildest choice you’ve made when you wanna get this boy to propose to your cousin and fake plan a wedding just for the bit, but I get it, the dog is here and it is a thing now that is in front of you like hi, making it all realer]

Teddy: [‘believe it’ as we’re encouraging this dog to sniff and lick her like hello and ILY without fully throwing it at her and risking ruining the lewk he picked for her to serve with for this lil outing because he would NEVER dare lol]

Nancy: [‘he’s just like you’ as if this boy has ever licked your face, y’all wish but we’re allowing it ‘cos why not, now this pup is here to stay]

Teddy: [a smirk like a proud parent because he will claim that comparison if only cos he’d love to lick her face rn ‘he’s a good boy’ but because he can’t lick her obvs, instead, gently wiping wherever the dog has, just to touch her]

[simicmimic]

So, as a Simic Combine(?) guild fan, do you have a hybrid 'sona? If so, what kinds of critters are you made of besides the basic humanoid? Asking because someone's post about their character inquiring if others had alter egos; replied with a kind of Simic hybrid I've been mulling over.

They're an amalgamation of axolotl, chameleon, otter, squid and maybe some other critters. It's nothing that well developed in my head, but ruminating on it made me curious since you know about MtG and the Simics. Think they typically favor crustaceans, fish, lizards and mollusks experimentally, right?

In any event sorry for the randumbness. Take care & TTFN.

Hmm. I don’t exactly have a defined Simicsona, but crab would have to be very prominent. Claws are the most recognizable crab part,[citation needed] so that’s an obvious choice. I like where Growth-Chamber Guardian’s head’s at, with claws and an extra set of arms.

Otherwise, I like a ray aesthetic, and how could you say no to flying, or at least gliding?

[outstandingmenshair]

Today’s final but-definitely-no-third-place fella is inked up, with a high half pomp and a more markedly shorter side part and possibly fazed disconnect ?? (Looking pretty clear cut on his right while left looks more fade like. Yes? No? Do you care? Probably not. But then why are you on a hair based tumblr?

Right. Of course. The hot half clothed hunks, semi naked studs, jacked up jocks, dapper dudes and dashing daddies, hair or bare, here and there, boy next door or bearded bear. Styles extreme, or simple and clean, so many to choose from as you’re scrolling your screen. At last you’re done, you found the right one, easy on the eye and undeniable appeal, forget the AI you prefer when they’re real. Twitching and itching, now off you should head. As for me, I’m again sleepless in bed. Impulsive insomnia and writings delirium fed…. How did we get here? I forget what I’ve said. Dr Seuss better be taking appointments as these symptoms persist. Sorry, I delay and see you’re patiently flexing your wrist. Can you believe this prose was unplanned and spontaneously sprung, from some random part of an addled brain? Yes, right, sorry I”m done. Thoughts concluded and clearly deluded I will bid you farewell. Last night is nearly this morning, oh bloody hell. So TTFN, what fun this has been. Go choke the chicken…ah, you know what I mean 😉

….and close parentheses….)!!!

[merrysithmas]

bro shiro literally semi-raised him tf. whats going on here. don't know about u but i don't have a pressing desire to date my mom/dad/ older siblings.

isn't it well known that the creators of voltron very much intended shiro and keith to be a couple but then dreamworks execs had a very big meltdown about it? i thought that was general knowledge in the fandom world? all the actors, producers, writers, etc shipped them pretty publically - making their own fanart and commenting on them and getting the audience hype. as a casual viewer i wasnt involved in fandom but that was apparent.

as a ship they were on the road to being the next korrasami (which the same showrunners also historically created and paralled often). and they publically pushed super hard for rep in voltron but the CEOs said No. Mega Corp makes artists no-homo media all the time in varying strange ways, and id say 99% of ppl who like the shiro-keith dynamic see it through that critical thinking lens and void the poor narrative choices of the last seasons (which i barely watched btw and hardly remember but im answering this to emphasize the importance of context).

and wasn't it actually that shiro ended up his mentor at school in an academic sense? it was weird and Tragique and Homophobic what they did, tbh, and the showmakers themselves were super unhappy they were forced to do it when they were 100% on board with vocally attempting to achieve LGBTQ rep both in public interviews and narratively on the show. that's what is worthy of criticism: corporate capitalism gaslighting queer fans/ally artists, queer censorship, and then those crossed wires fanning the flames of truly off-base discourse like this exact ask.

so while im glad u dont have a desire to date your dad, i personally didnt need a cartoon to teach me that and enjoy media through a critical thinking lens while analyzing the real-life situation writers are put through by money obsessed corporations.

lol do i really have angry voltron stans in my inbox

[sonsband]

I Finished Yellowjackets And I Must Scream

[redbullseb]

casually downloading sans' theme from undertale to meme the presser footage when it drops

[black-infertility-life]

Hello Beautiful People!

We got to see our little Embie today and they're so precious. 💕 We also got to see how strong the heartbeat is, it's just a little fluttering right now but everything is right where it needs to be. It's so nice to continue to get good news. I feel like this journey is often marred with sadness and disappointment that we just really needed some good news after all that's happened in our lives.

ttfn

Love yourself, Take Care of yourself

[discobops-remade]

i just listened to ver2 by jk n wow......... im rlly being fed so well i love him so much 💖💗💕💓💗💖💗💕💗💓💗💖💗💓💗💓💕

[modmad]

just to say I’m off now- visiting my sister! I’ll be away until late Sunday so see you then!