#tagyourbrotp

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #67

Person A: *singing* if you’re tired and you know it clap your hands

*silence*

Person A: welp i guess no one’s tired

Person B: stop talking for 5 minutes and you might be

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #48

Person A: jesus, there’s blonde hair all over my shirt

Person B: well what blonde’s have you been around recently

Person A: . . .

Person A: my dog

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #52

Person A: *driving* NONE OF THESE TRUCKS KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING

Person B: *slowly strokes window staring at truck beside them* you look like you know what you’re doing

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #46

Person A: *walks in* what the fuck are you doing

Person B: *playing with food* a dramatic reenactment of the Titanic with 2 bagels, cream cheese, and the entirety of Japan. It’s really just a pan but I said pan wrong too many times so now it’s Japan

Person A: . . . how did I meet you?

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #63

Person A: B has a very distinct fart, you know it when you smell it

Person B: okay it's not that bad

*30 minutes later*

Person C: what's that smell?

Person A: B farted

Person C: holy shit it is distinct

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #45

Person A: you have a raccoon tan

Person B: i know, C requested it. they were like, ‘i want you to leave your sunglasses on and not wear sunscreen on your face all day,’ and i said ‘alright anything for you.’

Person C: *in the distance* that’s not what happened

[mira-nicodiangelo-grey]

I’m here to revive this post

Interaction #41

Professor: what does J.C. stand for in this measure of time?

Entire class: Jesus Christ

Proffesor: good, now what does E.C. stand for

Person A: *quietly* Edward Cullen

Person B: i swear i will hit you if you repeat that

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #51

Person A: anything you want from the store? 

Person B: some good fam

Person A: what's good fam?

Person B: nothing. Absolutely nothing. Get the fuck outta my room. Study time.

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #39

Person A: are you filming me?

Person B: you need to atone for your sins

Person A: *looks into camera* no

Person B: but-

Person A: *shaking head* i don’t think so *sips coffee*

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #37

Person A: so my entire family calls me that stupid nickname now

Person B: the prophecy has been fulfilled. The stars are in position . . . bring the tribute.

Person A: I . . . read ‘tribute is in position. Bring the stars.’

Person B: *wheezing with laughter* why is that so funny to me

Person A: BRING THE STARS

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #44

Person A: we understand, we all had wet socks. 

Person B: I know, that’s why it’s not weird. you could’ve touched me with your sock and i would’ve gone ‘wow, that sock is wet’.

Person A: that doesn’t mean you can throw your wet socks at us

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #7

Person A: what’s the word for the thing

Person B: what word

Person A: the spritz spritz thing with the nozzle that looks like a drink but usually contains poison. i can think of the word in every language I know but english.

Person B: dude idk, but it’ll come to you eventually

*5 hours later*

Person A: *bolts upright in bed* SPRAY BOTTLE

Person B: whaT THE fUCK

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #35

(part 6/6 of the salad incident)

Person A: okay i got one more

Person B: jesus why

Person A: i call it depressalad

Person B: oh boy

Person A: and it’s a singular piece of lettuce with a soggy crouton

Person B: it’s too early for this . . . or late, either way

Person A: 😃

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #32

(part 3/6 of the salad incident)

Person A: wait different salad idea

Person B: oh no

Person A: replace the lettuce with broccoli. add cheese and bacon. WAIT COULIFLOWER

Person B: nope i’m out, ya lost me

Person A: fuck you this idea is amazing

Person B: why in the ever-loving cheese puff, would cauliflower make a difference as apposed to broccoli?

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #34

(part 5/6 of the salad incident)

Person A: i need a pasta salad. nah, i need pasta cereal. diced up noodles in a bowl of cheese and sauce

Person B: nope, nuh uh

Person A: bone app the teeth

Person B: g’night, ya lost me, B out

Person A: no pwease i wuv you

[bittercinnabon]

Interaction #9

Person A: there’s telescopes in animal crossing

Person B: i thought you were gonna say telletubbies

Person A: yes, telletubbies in animal crossing

Person B: tinkie-winkie...po...lulu

Person C: lulu?...yeah lulu is right

Person B: is it? I only know-

Person C: IT’S FUCKING LALA YOU UNCULTURED FUCK NUGGET

Person A: hah? oh uh *sweats*