#tadokorofiles

[tadokorodiaries]

my love, the voices, they won.

Whenever the voices get too loud And I can't control the chaos inside You kiss my head under the sheets You kiss my head and put my worries to sleep Yes you do that, it works everytime It worked until it didn't And ended just as I let go of my sigh It used to be of relief It used to be of calm You used to kiss the storm away Instant happiness right into my palm But now they said they're here to stay The magic that once brought a sunny day has just turned everything to grey I guess when you did what you did to me The fight inside me died The voices, they took over And no matter what you do just won't ever work the same way it used to

Because you were the one who killed the only light

-A.T.

[tadokorodiaries]

Life Update***

I haven’t been posting since my ~lazy hormones~ are taking over me. There are a lot of adjustments as I go through the stages of pregnancy; Even the littlest things change like sleep *during my first trimester, I spent most days sleeping, second trimester was normal—my body clock was normal and the fatigue wasn’t present which allowed me to do simple chores and going outs, now I’m currently at the beginning of my third trimester and the fatigue is starting to take place—I literally get tired and sleepy without having to do anything*, food cravings, person cravings *yes, sometimes I want to see a certain person so badly I cry*, moodswings *I don’t know about the other mommies out there but my pregnancy moodswings are far WORSE than of my period’s*, the vanity also changes: before I got pregnant, I was very meticulous about my nails, I go to the nail salon every two weeks and have my nails done, I just like them painted.. but now it’s a no-no since nail polishes contain certain chemicals that aren’t safe for the baby, although I’ve read somewhere in the internet that there are pregnant-friendly nail polishes available online, I still wouldn’t risk it 😅… Going back to some of the changes… I used to like sleeping on the side of the wall but when my second trimester was almost done, I switched sides to Jolo since I pee like every 10 minutes and it’s difficult to get up especially when I’m at the corner because my body with my baby in it IS SO HEAVY. ���� I’ve also got mild stretchmarks around my belly— The stretchmarks I am proud of 😇 *hihi*

Those are just some of the little sacrifices, anyway. But the prize, hmmm the precious prize… The one person I’d gladly take the world’s worth of pain for: Hiro.

I am currently at my seventh month of pregnancy and everything has been going great lately… mainly because my husband is always present. I love quiet moments with my baby and j; I love the family I have been blessed with.

Anyway, they say that whatever the nanay feels emotionally, the baby also feels. I don’t know if my nanay instinct’s starting to kick in but I am learning to be more selfless in a way that when something happens, the first thing I concern myself of is what my baby would feel if I react or think in a certain way, so I try to be more cautious; I figured it made me happier and stress free. All the best for my baby 😇

[tadokorodiaries]

went out on a date with my first love 👨🏻 5am as I was just about to go to sleep, our doorbell rang and the next thing I knew, I was hugging my papa behind the open door. He took a 3-hour drive just to see me for a couple of hours and I couldn’t bring myself to believe the present reality happening. For ten years, we endured and settled for long distance phone calls and longing. Earlier this morning, there he was, the man I so deeply love my whole life with my whole being, right in front of me, my Otousan. A little lot older than before, but still the best looking man I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I missed you so much my heart still swells. Thank you for today, papa. Of all the homes I made out of people, not even all of them put together could ever outweigh your warmth.

きょうわとても幸せでした ありがとうございます おとうさん 。ずっと 愛してます

[tadokorodiaries]

I used to feel you hold me closer every time I wake up in the middle of the night, uneasy because of a bad dream.

Now, whenever that happens, my phone is all there is to reach.

I’m glad you always pick up.

-AT

ps. this distance sucks bigtime.

[tadokorodiaries]

we knew nothing but how to survive. we drank the nights away until sunrise. in every place, we had a way of turning dull to bright. a few days from now, alone, once again I’ll be discerning you in heights conveyed by planes taking you away leading us back to life. my sister: you will always be by heart and by our souls our tie will remain evergreen over towns and towers, we’re gold not a single thing can tame our tone for since day one, you felt like home.

[tadokorodiaries]

This is such a big step I am taking, I was never certain of anything..

But you are here.

You believe in me so much, I somehow slowly start to believe in me, too. You are my constant reminder of how I can conquer anything, simply because I am me, and I am His. You are my ‘light at the end of the tunnel’, you give me the hope I need, and I’m not as scared anymore.
You encourage me to grow into the person I am meant to be, and sometimes I’m still searching, and sometimes I stumble, but you look at me with cheerful eyes, “you can.”.. and I begin again.

This is such a big step I am taking, And I don’t feel the need to be certain of anything.

Because the universe fulfilled its promise.

You’re here.

[tadokorodiaries]

To be honest, life isn’t always dreamy for me. I mean, who am I to say that every thing has always been great for me? If that’s the case, I find it a shame, because then I wouldn’t grow and appreciate my bright days.

But then as the cliche goes, every thing has a reason.

Day by day, the more I hold onto Him, the more I am relieved. The more I understand that things, eventually, will fall into place.

Sunsets have always been my favorite, for they signify that tomorrow is another day. And today… After quite some time, I witnessed such a beautiful one. (I didn’t even think of taking a picture of it because I got so caught up in the moment, I just wanted to stare at it.) I guess what I’m trying to say is.. We see what we want to see. Especially in life. We can see all the bad, but also, we can try to find the silver lining in everything.

Thank You for this heart. It’s getting lighter but deeper every single day.

To new beginnings. ✨