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limitless-haven · 5 months ago

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Those Ocean Eyes

Synopsis: When you’re called upon by Tokyo Jujutsu High for an opportunity to study under the renowned Shoko Ieiri, you gladly accept the offer, leaving behind your old school. Here you start your new adventure, excited to learn and see where this life will take you, but what you don’t account for is that here is also where you truly fall in love for the first time.

Satoru Gojo is a charismatic enigma that captured your heart right away. As time goes on, you come to truly understand the pain behind those ocean eyes of his. The scariest part? His truth doesn’t terrify you like he expected it to. If anything it makes you fall more intense for him. You want to help shoulder the burden of his pain for the man you’ve come to love.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: MDNI. Heavier flirting/lusting, description of a car accident, mention of blood, depiction of death

A/N: ***This is a slow burn. Eventually, there will be some spicy scenes but I will give a warning beforehand.

***This story does contain elements, scenes, and dialog from the manga/anime.

***This story was influenced by the song Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. Every time I hear the song, I can't help but think of Gojo and what a complex character he is. He is such a lovable character who deserves the world.

***This is also posted to my AO3 account under the name “kookie0807”

Chapter 2: Catching His Eye

Your throat feels dryer than normal and that causes you to swallow hard, licking your lips trying to bring some moisture to your mouth. The action doesn’t go unnoticed by the man sitting in front of you. He just sits there, staring at you. Waiting for you to finally say something to him. But you can’t seem to get your mouth working, your tongue feels heavy, and your head feels light, all of this from a simple question..? ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ You ask yourself. Your eyes snap down to your feet. You can’t believe that it is this difficult to answer him. To say you're completely enamored by this man is an understatement. Your knees feel weak, like at any given moment they will give out on you. You feel your cheeks starting to heat up again. What is it about Satoru Gojo that’s got you fawning over his simple words?

He can’t help but find your reaction to his very, in his terms, subtle flirtatious way of questioning you, very adorable. Getting you all flustered over just calling you a ‘pretty girl’ has him wondering just how you would react if his comments got a little bit more suggestive, a little bit more vulgar. He grins a toothy grin. ‘She’s pretty cute when she’s all worked up.’ He thinks to himself.

“C’mon pretty, I just wanna know your name.” He says with a coy smile.

‘His voice is so hot. Oh god. It’s so hot!’ You think to yourself and that makes you blush a tad bit more.

“M-my n-names (Y/N) sir..” You say shyly. Your eyes haven’t left your feet yet. You’re afraid to look at the man. He makes you feel like you're back in high school with a silly little crush. Let’s face it, you’ve just met the guy and you’re already crushing so hard on him. But he’s supposed to be your teacher? Can you have a crush on your teacher? You are twenty-six, after all, so it’s not like this is morally wrong or anything. You’re an adult, he’s an adult so what’s the harm right? It’s just an innocent little crush on your very attractive teacher.

He chuckles and underneath his blindfold, his eyes are scanning your body from head to toe. He can’t lie to himself and say that your little flushed cheeks don’t stir something up inside him.

“Sir, huh?” He gives you that shit-eating grin again. “Haven’t done anythin’ to get ya to call me that quite yet pretty, jus’ call me Satoru. Please I insist.”

The suggestive nature behind his comment has your heart pounding in your chest, if it’s even possible for your cheeks to blush harder, they are. You can hear the blood rushing around in your ears. How can he say such sexually charged things so freely? This man hasn’t even done anything to you and yet here you are squirming under his gaze and simple words. ‘Pull it together!’ You demand to yourself.

He smiles at your reaction. He loves the way a simple provocative comment makes you squirm under his gaze. He likes how innocent you seem to appear. He wants to see just how far he can push you before you snap...

“S-sure thing…Satoru.” You stammer out. He can probably feel the embarrassment radiating off my body right now.’ You think to yourself.

He smirks at you. He can’t lie, he absolutely loves the way his name sounds coming from your pretty little lips.

“C’mon, pull up a chair so we can talk s’more.” He says as he gestures for you to grab a chair from the desk. You do so and sit down in front of him, it kinda reminds you of how an interview would go. “There ya go. Now, the ol’ geezer informed me that you're a Grade Three and it just so happens that ya have the same technique as Shoko. That true?”

Now this is a conversation you can have, as long as he’s not throwing out flirty little comments or making seductive ones, you're fine! All he had to do was keep that big mouth shut but you wonder how long that would last. You take a deep breath to calm yourself, look up at him, and begin.

“Well yes, but I haven’t been able to do such phenomenal things like Shoko. I-I can only heal some wounds and maybe fix a bone or two before my cured energy is drained..” You tell him, this time looking him in the face. This is something serious that you want to work on, something you’ve been dreaming about mastering to eventually save someone who might come across with injuries like your father did. You believe you owe this to him. He would have been so proud to see how far you’ve come. After all, he was the first person who taught you about the jujutsu world.

Satoru nods his head as you talk, he puts his hand under his chin as if he’s deliberating. Of course, Yaga made him read your file before he sent Satoru out to find you. He can’t lie, your file is pretty basic. Not much in hand-to-hand combat training, super basic defensive teachings as far as he’s concerned, you rarely went on missions at Kyoto, but you do possess the very rare ability to heal others and that is something even the strongest sorcerer can’t do. Healing himself is like second nature to him. He does it without even thinking about it at this point but he’s always wanted to know the secret behind using such a technique to heal others. Being able to heal others like that should have put you in a Grade One class like Shoko but he guesses because you haven’t been able to unlock the true power behind your technique, that old bastard Gakuganji stuck you to Grade Three. God, he hated the higher-ups with a passion. Here you were, you had such potential for great power, yet Gakuganji was holding you back. Knowing that if you somehow managed to perfect your technique, that would just make you more trouble for them. They were all cowards in Satoru’s eyes.

“I see,” he says. “Gakuganji’s hold in’ ya back. Fuck, I hate gramps.” He says as he sighs loudly and throws his head back so it’s resting on the back of the chair. He then continues “I can’t teach ya how to unlock the power of reverse cursed techniques or the doctor part, that’s more up Shoko’s ally. But, what I can do, is teach ya how to better regulate the flow of your cursed energy, makin’ it stronger and lastin’ way longer. I’ll also be in charge of your hand-to-hand combat trainin’ per the geezer's orders but have no fear, I’m excellent at martial arts. Some might even say the best.” He says as he leans back up off the chair and grins at you.

You smile at him. You appreciate him even taking the time out of his day to help you with such basic things other sorcerers were without a doubt better than you at. When trying to heal someone, you run out of cursed energy rather quickly so being able to control it for a longer time to heal more significantly is ideal. Also, learning how to kick some ass doesn’t sound half bad either. “Thank you, Satoru.” You say as you fidget with your uniform skirt. “C-can I ask you a question though?”

“Duh, I’m your teacher after all,” he says with a sly smile.

“Why do you hate Principal Gakuganji so much?” You ask. You didn’t miss the way he said he hated him and referred to him as ‘gramps.'

Satoru chuckles. “I know my methods are the best plus those old heads are too conservative for the future of the jujutsu world. Just take, for example, Yuji. He’s Sukuna’s vessel and Gakuganji wants him dead right now. Why do ya ask? Because he believes makin’ exceptions to long-standin’ practices is wrong. Whereas I say to let me handle it. I will beat Sukuna and save Yuji’s life.”

You’re stunned by his confession. You didn’t know that Satoru cared so much for his students, then again, you don’t know him at all. Hearing him talk so passionately about his determination for a new jujutsu world as you know, is refreshing. It’s refreshing to know there are still some sorcerers out there willing to fight for the younger generation. Back in Kyoto, the topic of Sukuna was strictly off-limits. You knew of him of course. How Ryomen Sukunan was a jujutsu sorcerer who lived over a thousand years ago and somehow has managed to traverse through time by transforming himself into a cursed object and somehow managed to split his powers among twenty fingers that have been scattered all around Tokyo.

“Wait..the kid with the pink hair? He-he’s Sukuna’s vessel?” You ask rather perplexed.

He gives you a baffled look, and his blindfold lifts on his forehead from raising his eyebrows. Did you actually not know anything outside of what that old bastard Gakugunji told you? Shit, you honestly were pure, it was invigorating to Satoru. He can’t help but let out a snicker. “Damn, princess. They really were keepin’ ya in the dark over there, huh?” He says as he tilts his head, glaring at you. “Megumi was sent to Yuji’s old school to retrieve one of Sukuna’s fingers. In the process, some curses get released and attacked them both. Megumi get pretty roughed up so Yuji ate the finger in an attempt to save him. And what do ya know? It worked!” He exclaims. “Now the little brat can switch with Sukuna at will.”

You stare at Satoru like he has three heads. WHAT THE FUCK? Why would Yuji ever eat a finger? That cant taste good at all, better yet….how the hell did he get it down? ‘Don't ask, don’t tell, I really don't want to know.’ You think to yourself and giggle a bit. “Wow, I guess I was left in the dark about that.” You say and rub the back of your head. Then like a freight train, it hits you. Did he just call you princess? God damn it, you feel your cheeks flush again and you're getting shy. “D-did you c-call me princess?”

Satoru cant help but find your reaction to his comment so fucking cute. He was starting to take a liking to you. He loved how you reacted to his flirtatious banter with you, he loved watching you squirm under his gaze, something about you demanded his attention when he was with you. Not that he was complaining, you're a very beautiful girl, with a toned body, shorter than him by so much that he towers over your small frame. He hums, but it sounds more like a slight groan. “I sure did. But if ya want, I could call you my princess. Would you like that better (Y/N)?”

This is the first time you've heard him say your name and it shot a rush down your spine. It felt like fireworks were going off inside your stomach. He’s so hot. His voice, his looks, his flirty personality, this man knew just how irresistible he was. Your cheeks are now a bright pink. You're so embarrassed right now, you can't believe just hearing him utter your name has you reacting like this. How the hell is it? That's your name and what he’ll be addressing you by and it has this monumental effect on you? Jesus, you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You can't bring yourself to look at him any farther so you put your head down and look at the ground and try to take some deep breaths. You see his other foot come over his leg and be placed on the ground. And before you know it his feet are getting closer to you, indicating that he’s walking towards you. You can feel him right next to your ear. Your sense of smell is instantly overwhelmed by him. You catch a whiff of his cologne. It smells like sandalwood but with a hint of sweetness to it. It exudes expensive.

“I like watchin’ ya squirm. It's very temptin’.” He says as his voice drops an octave almost sounding like a growl.

You almost gasp but bite your lip just in time. What the hell was he doing here? Does he understand how this is coming off to you? “S-Satoru, p-please-” You almost sound like you're pleading for him, in a very suggestive way. You can’t say anything more, your throat feels dry when you swallow, it feels like sandpaper.

This makes Satoru smile wickedly. He's delighted to see his effect on you because honestly, you're having the same one on him right now. He can no longer deny the fact that you've piqued his interest in more ways than one. More ways than a ‘student’ should. He snickers next to your ear. “Mmm, that’s even more temptin’ (Y/N). Careful now or I may jus’ want you to beg for me s’more.”

You feel a rush of arousal go through your body and straight between your legs. Does he mean that like you just took it? Your heart is beating so fast, you can feel it everywhere in your body. Did-did he just turn you on with a few words no less? Oh, this was going to be testing. How were you supposed to learn anything from the man when he said such sexually driven things like this to you? But before anything else can be said between you too, the door to his classroom slams open. And in walks a girl you’ve never seen before. She's pretty short, just like you. She has mid-length brown hair that covers the right side of her forehead, orangish eyes, and very long eyelashes. She spots got two immediately. She raises an eyebrow at Gojo.

“Ew dude...Don’t tell me I walked in on you trying to screw the new girl?” She says and from the sounds of it, she doesn’t put up with Gojo’a antics much.

Gojo just chuckles and stands up from beside you to his full height, tilting his head back, his delicious-looking neck on full display. Clearly, he’s been affected by the sexual tension in the room too. “Kugisaki has anyone ever told ya, you got shit timing?”

“Whatever Gojo. I’m here for her, not you. Thank god you transferred here. I was about to go stir crazy with all this testosterone around!” She exclaims as she walks over to you and holds her hand out. “I’m Nobara Kugisaki.”

You look up at her, still seated on the desk chair, and shake her hand. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). It’s n-nice to f-finally m-meet the other first year!” You stumble over your words. You too are still affected by Gojo’s words.

“Same girl. God I can’t stand being around these boys all the time, finally I’ll get to do some shopping!” She says and it looks as if she has hearts in her eyes. It makes you giggle. She seems like she’s going to be a lot of fun to have around and well, you do love a good shopping trip too. “Just promise me one thing, yeah?” She’s then looking between you and Gojo. “Please, please, don’t screw him.” She says looking directly at Gojo, giving him the nastiest side-eye.

If your face could get any redder, someone might mistake you for a tomato. God, was it that obvious how much you too were flirting just then? You start to breathe more rapidly. You don’t think your heart has beaten at a normal pace for…well ever since you laid eyes on Satoru really. You look down again and fidget with the hemline of your skirt.

Gojo places his hand on his chest dramatically, like a Victorian man who just saw a woman’s ankles for the first time. He lets out a little gasp too. “Kugisaki! C’mon, don’t be a cock-block now.” He then lets out a childish laugh.

Nobara just rolls her eyes at him. “Ew. Come with me (Y/N), let’s go get some food.” She puts her hand out for you to take it. When you grab her hand you hope she can’t tell just how affected by Gojo’s words you still were. You were shaking so badly. Did he want to sleep with you? You two just met today. Oh no, this was going to be a nightmare. Can you keep your feelings in check around him? Or will something end up happening between you two?

As you exit the room, you can’t help but hear Satoru laughing a little. Norbara pulls you along with her to the dining hall.

—————————-

At the dining hall, you spot Megumi and Yuji. You wave at them and then get in line to go get something to eat. Honestly, you were so shaken up by you’re interacting with Gojo that you didn’t know if you could eat or not but we weren’t going to say no to getting to know the others. You grab a slice of pizza and a bottle of water then follow Nobara to the table to sit with the boys.

Yuji is the first to speak to you. “Hey, how’d everything go with Gojo-sensi?” He asks, totally unaware of the sexually charged interaction you just had with said man.

“It was fine.” You say shortly and chug your water.

“The scrawny creep hit on you didn’t he?” Megumi says as he rolls his eyes and takes a bite out of the chicken breast on his plate.

“Sure did. Walked in right before he could snatch up his prey.” Nobara says nonchalantly as she takes a bite out of a watermelon chunk.

You’ve got to change the conversation quickly before you die of embarrassment. “Anyway, I heard from Satoru that you’re Sukunas vessel?” You ask as you look at Yuji.

He lets out a little laugh and rubs the back of his head. “You heard right! But to be honest, I’m not really fond of the guy. He's a pain. When I first arrived at the school he grew a mouth outa my hand and threatened to kill Gojo. But I know Gojo-sensi would beat him. After all, he is the strongest.” He smiles a wide toothy grin.

You blink slowly. “He can just grow mouths on your body?”

Yuji laughs. “Yeah, he can. It’s super weird.”

Megumi adds, “Downright disgusting if you ask me.”

You can’t help the laugh that comes out. You like this group so far. They seem to mesh well with one another despite their clear differences in personalities. You all finish your meal while chatting about all kinds of topics like favorite foods, what your techniques are, favorite games and TV shows, and so on. It felt good to be surrounded by kids with such potential, it reminds you of when you first entered Kyoto. You had a close group of friends there but as time went by you all went your separate ways. Some became teachers at Kyoto and some became full-fledged jujutsu sorcerers exorcizing curse after curse.

Once your dinner is over, you all get up and head towards the dorms. So far your analysis of the group is that Yuji is the most playful of the group, a little naive but thoughtful nonetheless. Nobara is a confident, beautiful girl who you can tell just by the little interaction you’ve had with her so far, has an unshakable character about her. And then there is the reserved Megumi. He’s very aloof and outwardly stoic. But somehow, deep down you can see just how much he cares for the kids he calls his friends.

OH SHIT! You forgot Shoko said to meet her in the medical lab when you got done with Satoru. Panic sets in. You’re not starting on a good foot by trying to impress Shoko and showing her you’re serious about learning from her. ‘Shit, shit shit.’ You think to yourself.

“Hey, I completely forgot Shoko wanted to see me in the medical lab after I got done with Satoru.” You say panicked.

“Oh. I’ll take you over to her then.” Megumi says very nonchalantly.

You smile at him and head off for the medical lab. The walk with Megumi is almost peaceful. Once you arrive at the lab, he nods at you and heads the other way back to the dorm areas. You let out a big breath as you push the doors open. This is what you have been waiting for. When you enter, you're greeted with almost the same lab equipment as the Kyoto schools. There are some machines that you haven’t seen before, but that’s why you were here. You’re so beyond thrilled to be able to train under such an extraordinary doctor like Shoko. You notice her in the corner of the lab, she’s got gloves on and she’s holding some test tubes. They look to be filled with blood, she starts mixing some liquids into the blood and then puts it into the centrifuge and it starts spinning. She throws her gloves away and looks up at you with a smile.

“Oh hey, there you are. I was starting to worry Gojo got you” She lets out a laugh.

Got you? What the hell does that mean? Your cheeks flush a little as you think back to your encounter with him in his classroom.

“Is he always like that?” You ask a little shyly as you watch the centrifuge spin.

“Cocky? Arrogant? Oh hell yeah, Satoru’s always been like that ever since we were teens. Flirty? Sometimes, it just depends on how much he likes you.” She lets out a snort of sorts. “Sorry hon, you seem to have caught his eye.”

You’ve caught Satoru Gojo’s eye? You knew he was being a little too flirty! WAIT...YOU'VE CAUGHT HIS EYE? FUCK! There goes your face again, bright red. You turn around so Shoko can’t see you but it doesn’t help matters as she only lets out another laugh.

“I like you already (Y/N).” She snickers and then adds “Well apparently not as much as Gojo.”

Great, was Shoko hitting on you now too? You can’t seem to catch a break around this damn school! Does everyone like to tease you? But you know she doesn’t mean it in the way Satoru does….but wouldn’t that be something?

When you calm your flushed cheeks down a bit you turn back to Shoko and give her a sheepish smile. “Please, enough about Satoru. I don’t think I can take any more teasing. I might end up on the embalming table next.” You joke. Shoko gives you a big laugh and smile. “What are you doing with that blood?” You ask, tilting your head at the centrifuge spinning around.

“Oh just creating some PRP. Quiz time. What is PRP used for?” She asks, genuinely curious about where your medical knowledge stands.

Without a skip of a beat, you answer. “It can be injected into a patient's injury to try and help reduce pain and improve recovery speeds.”

Shoko raises her eyebrows and smiles. “Not bad hon.” She compliments and you can’t help but smile brightly. This right here is fulfilling a dream of yours. Hearing the Shoko Ieiri give you praise? You wish your mother and father could be here to hear this. They would be so, so proud of you.

“But this is nothing compared to what we’re going to eventually get into. I want you on par with me (Y/N).” She says with a very promising look. “We’re going to make a doctor out of you before I’m done!”

“I would love nothing more.” You say honestly. You want to heal as many people as you can. You want to save all of those who come to you for help.

“Great, before you leave, I want you to take a book and start brushing up on your knowledge of the machines and tools in here. In the meantime, we’ll work on your reverse cursed technique.” She says. “But first tell me about it in your own words. Start from the beginning please.” Of course, Shokos already read your file, she knows about what you can and can’t do but she wants to hear it explained from the actual sorcerer, not a piece of paper.

Oh man, how do you even begin to explain this? “It all started I guess when I was young. I remember my father was teaching me how to ride a bike. I told him I wasn’t ready for him to let go, but you know how dads are sometimes.” You laugh at the memory. Your father loved spending every second he wasn’t at work with his family. “Anyway, he let go and I fell off. I banged my knee up pretty good and had a huge gash in it. There was blood all over my hands and running down my leg. He ran over to me as I was lying there, holding my knee. I remember my hands started to tingle when I made contact with my knee like I’d had some kind of allergic reaction, they kinda itched in a way.” You remember this day very vividly. This was the day you, your father, and your mother found out that you were capable of using cursed techniques. “And then it started to burn like I’d stuck them straight into a fire. There was this white, hazy glow over my hands. My dad just stared at them in shock. When the glowing finally stopped, my hands stopped burning too.” You look down at your hands remembering the searing hot, white pain of that day. “When I pulled them off my knee the gash was gone, almost like it never existed. And then I collapsed on the ground.”

“Got it. So you’ve been able to heal yourself since childhood.” Shoko says taking in all the information you just told her. “When did you realize you could heal others?” This is what she was most curious about.

You let out a sigh, remembering this day vividly too. “Well, my friends and I went to a party off the Kyoto school grounds, I was about eighteen. I left early because I didn’t want Principal Gakuganji to be upset with me. My friends stayed behind and ended up getting into a pretty serious car accident. One called me and told me what happened so of course I headed back out there .” You remember how smashed up the car was, how there was blood everywhere. One of your friends managed to escape with just a few cuts and scrapes. But your other friend suffered a broken femur and multiple lacerations. “The friend that called me managed to squeeze out of the car and we pulled the other girl out of the rubble. I remember her femur was sticking out the top of her thigh. It was the most gruesome thing I’d seen at that point in my life. Panicked out of my mind, I grabbed her leg and applied pressure to try and stop the bleeding. As soon as I made contact with her wound, my hands started to burn again, the same violent, scorching burn came back. But I couldn’t afford to let her go, she was bleeding everywhere, I didn’t want her to lose too much blood.” You look back down at your hands, rubbing them together. “Just like before, a white hazy glow started to appear. After a couple of minutes, we looked down and her leg was completely fine. No more bone sticking out, but there was still quite a bit of blood everywhere. When I removed my hands, I remember feeling so exhausted that I collapsed on the ground again.”

Shoko nods her head at you. “From that, you unlocked the power of healing others with your reverse cursed technique.” She says. “You said you collapsed both times after, I’m going to go out on a very reasonable limb and assume that’s because you exhausted all of your cursed energy.” She says. “It also seems like these traumatic events, no matter how big or small they seem, trigger something inside of you.”

You agree by nodding your head. “Yeah, you’re right. Those first two times really wore me out. But as time has gone on, I’ve gotten a little better at not collapsing so often, although the greater the injury, the more likely I am to.” You lightly chuckle. “Now that I think about it, you're right. I was under immense distress both times my technique was triggered.”

Shoko hums to agree with you. She knows her next question is touchy but she needs to know, this is vital information needed to help her understand you. “When I read your file, it said that you were on the scene when your father was brought back after his battle.” She speaks slower as if to gauge how you are feeling. “Do you mind telling me what happened there?”

Your eyes start to get teary thinking about the worst day of your life. Shoko places her hand on yours and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry hon, if it’s too much please don’t. We can always talk about it some other time.”

But you shake your head at her. You came here to overcome this stupid block in your technique. “It’s okay Shoko. Honestly. I would be doing a disservice to my father if I never figured this out.” You let out a shaky sigh. This is the day you dread the most. “When-when they brought my father back, he-he was c-cut in half...I rushed into the morgue as fast as I could. That was the most amount of blood I’ve ever seen. His-his organs were lying on the embalming table beside him. My mind went blank and it was like I was moving on autopilot. I— remember grabbing both parts of his body and just-just-just praying to someone, anyone to help me. I held onto him and cried so hard I felt like I was going to vomit…” A single tear starts to roll down your face but Shoko hands you a tissue. “My hands n-never started burning like they always did. T-they were stone cold. So I pushed him together, I put his organs between the halves and pressed my hands over the gap but...but nothing. No burning, no white hazy glow. Nothing but utter failure…”

Shoko gets up from her chair and comes over to hug you. You lean into her embrace as puts her hand on the back of your head to bring you into her shoulder. You try your best not to cry but a couple of tears trickle down your face. You stay like that for a minute, just letting her hold you. You can’t help but think that Shoko holds you like your mother does. Shoko has such a pure soul and such a motherly touch. When you’ve calmed down you pull away and smile at Shoko. She gives you a soft but saddened smile back.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). Thank you for sharing that with me, I can’t even begin to imagine how heartbreaking that must have been.” She grabs the tissue from your hand and dabs the little tears on your eyelashes away.

“No, it’s fine, really Shoko. You needed to know about how my abilities came to be.” You tell her, and you try to convey just how okay you are to her by giving her a glossy-eyed smile.

“I promise, if it’s the last thing I do, we’ll unlock that reverse cured technique fully for you,” Shoko says with a warm smile. That smile alone lets you know you can trust this woman with your life. There is no ounce of doubt in them. “It may take some time, but we’ll get it.” She reassures you.

You give her a small nod and take the tissue to clean up your face. After that, you're back to normalcy, no one would be able to tell that you’d been crying. It feels kind of good to be able to be so vulnerable with Shoko, you've never really experienced that before outside of your mother. Yeah, you had friends back at Kyoto but none of them understood the pressure of being expected to heal someone and the true physical and mental toll it took on your body. Every comrade that you lost chipped away at your confidence in your ability to save others. Being weak in the Jujutsu world was not an option. You had to save them, you had to try harder.

“Well, I think that's enough for your first day. Again, I’m sorry for making you relive that but I appreciate you being so open with me. Trust me, I know firsthand the strain of being looked up to for saving people feels like. Of course, there are going to be failures along the way but don't let that break you, just think of how satisfying it's going to feel once nothing can hold you back!” Shoko says to you as she walks over to the stack of books on her desk. She flips through the titles and picks one up. “Here, take this.” She says as she hands it over to you. “Well start light with getting you more used to my lab equipment. In the meantime I want you to work on how to get your cursed energy under control, in simple terms, you need to control your emotions when put in high-level stressful, anxious situations.”

You nod and couldn't agree more. Come to think of it, you did start to feel very jittery when someone's injuries needed to be healed was hanging over your head. “Right, you know best Shoko!” You say skimming through the book.

“You’ll be in Gojo’s hands for that part, I also heard he’s going to be training you to better your hand-to-hand combat skills?” She questions.

“Oh yeah, he told me about that earlier.” You say with a light giggle, your cheeks blushing a dusty pink at the mention of his name. “Principal Gakuganji told me that I wouldn’t be going on very many missions so there was no point in getting good at hand-to-hand combat like that.”

Shoko stares at you. “You know, I’m starting to see Satoru’s point about him more and more. Why the hell would you not need to know how to defend yourself?”

You just shrug. “I never questioned his approach to my sorcerer education but from the sounds of it, I probably should have.” You let out a light snicker.

“Oh for sure. Yaga will never let you leave this place until you’ve got the skills to survive on your own. He may be a hard ass but he cares about all the students who pass through those entrance doors.” She tells you.

You nod at her. You’re excited to see what Principal Yaga and the others here at Tokyo can offer you. You're like a sponge, ready to soak up all the knowledge and experience they have to offer.

—--------------

You say goodbye to Shoko for now and head back to your room. While walking to your room you decide to skim through the book she gave you. You see some equipment you recognize like a centrifuge, incubator, microscope, test tubes, and hot plates but there are some that you don't know. Nonetheless, you are excited to move forward in your lab knowledge. After all, once you had a grasp on the lab equipment, you could move into the surgical side of things and then into the world of the mortuary. Your walk to the room is very quiet but serene. It has you thinking back to when you first entered Kyoto. You were so excited to become a sorcerer and make your father and mother proud but little did you know the road to being one would be so heartbreaking. Some days were better than others but when the bad days happened it made you want to throw in the towel. It made you want to have been born ‘normal.’ Reflecting on everything that's happened, you have to push the bad thoughts to the back of your head and move forward. You make it to your door and open it to enter. ‘Shit, I’ve got a lot of work to do.’ You think to yourself and start unpacking. You put up the majority of your clothes and you hang up some fairy lights on the wall behind your bed. You put up some pictures of your family and friends. Before you know it, it's pretty late. The sun has gone down completely, leaving behind the peaceful glow of the moon. These dorm rooms are a tad different than the Kyoto ones because you're lucky enough to have your very own bathroom! ‘I’m living the high life right now!' You think to yourself. You enter the bathroom with your pajamas, makeup, skincare, and hair products. You set everything up how you want it and hop in the bath. You just lay there for a bit relaxing in the hot water. After a while of scrolling on your phone and chilling you decide to get out. You get changed into the ‘pajamas’ you brought into the bathroom with you. You put on an oversized shirt and some underwear, the shirt comes down to your mid-thigh like a short sun dress would. What can you say? You like to be comfortable when you sleep. Plus no one is going to see you so what's the harm? You brush your hair and sit on your bed. You start to put some lotion on your body when you hear a knock at the door. Who could that be?

You walk over to the door and open it to find a very tall, white-haired man standing there. He looks down at you and grins. He likes what you're wearing or well, lack thereof. He's looking you up and down underneath his blindfold. He starts at your plush thighs, loving how they are on full display, how your shirt just barely covers your tiny body. His eyes roam further up and he notices your perky tits next. ‘Fuckin’ hell.’ He thinks to himself. Your body looks so soft and he wants nothing more than to run his large hands from your thighs all the way up to your tits and fucking squeeze them, he wants to watch your nipples get hard under his touch. He wants to suck and lick on them and hear those pretty little lips moaning for him, moaning his name. He lets out a strangled groan. He's getting too worked up with his imagination right now. “Hi pretty, ya miss me?” He says as he looks down at your tiny stature.

You're starting to go pink in the face with the way he's just standing there grinning at you. What is he doing here? At this time no less? You look up at his face. “H-hi Satoru, what are you doing here?” You ask curiously.

He licks his lips, an action that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. He leans against your door frame now, crossing his lengthy arms over his well-built chest. “Jus’ came to talk to my new neighbor.”

NEIGHBOR? SHIT! You totally forgot this wasn't like the Kyoto dorms at all. At Kyoto, you were divided into the boy's hall and the girl's hall, so you never interacted with boys around your dorm room. It seems here, that you are divided by age groups. Since Megumi, Yuji, and Nobara are around the same age, they are all in the same dormitory hall. That leaves you, Shoko, and Satoru to be on the same dormitory hall as well. Your face goes red as you realize how you answered the door. “Ah-a-a.” You stutter out before you stumble back into your room. When you catch your balance, you look up and see that Satoru is now standing in your room and the door is closed behind him. He has a smug grin on his face.

“Easy princess, wouldn’t want ya falling over. I might get a little show if that happens.” He says as he licks his lips again. “Not that I’d complain.”

Your body feels hot, your face is too red. You look down and grab your shirt, pulling it down to cover your exposed thighs. Your hands are shaking, your eyes are closed shut, and you've never been this embarrassed in front of a guy before. “Satooruuu.” You whine out.

He continues to smirk. He loves how you try to hide your body from him. He loves how those pretty little lips whined out for him. God, he wants nothing more than to push you back onto your bed and have you whining underneath him. “I told you earlier, I like watchin’ ya squirm pretty girl.” He says as he takes a step forward. He then leans down so he is at eye level with you. “I really like the way you say my name.”

‘PLEASE LET ME METEOR HIT THE EARTH AND KILL ME NOW!!’ You beg in your head. You open your eyes and see he's right in front of your face, close but not too close. You start to wriggle around with the bottom of your shirt. “Haahhh-please Satoru.” You squeak out.

Satoru can't help but chuckle at your response, he knows what he's doing to you. He can clearly see it by your body language. “Please what (Y/N)?” He asks.

There he goes again saying your name like that. It sounds too sensual coming from his lips. It sounds too good to be muttered. The way he says your name is the most arousing way anyone has ever said it before. You want to grab his face and kiss him until he’s breathless. Before you can answer him, he speaks.

“Please…tell you that I’m here to let ya know that we're gonna start training tomorrow.”

Right, training. You totally forgot about that part. You weren't really good at fighting, the best you could do was maybe hip-toss someone and throw a punch. Now how powerful that punch was is another story. You're toned but don't have a lot of muscles, you'd rather do some yoga or go for a jog than lift some heavy ass weights. When you did go on missions with the sorcerers at Kyoto they were told that you were to be protected at all times meaning you had never been in a physical fight with a curse much less a human being.

“W-what…?” You stumble out.

Satoru nods his head at you. “Ya heard right princess. You, me, alone in the sparing room.” He's got that shit-eating grin again, his pearly white teeth showing. “I can't wait to get my hands on you.” He almost groans out.

You stare at him, your face feels like it's on fire. Why does he say things like that? Does he want you to keel over!? You can’t move, so you just stand there looking at him.

He stands back up, towering over you. “Goodnight (Y/N), I hope you have some really, really sweet dreams.” He says and he turns around and goes out the door. You let out the biggest groan of frustration ever. Suddenly the door is opened back up and he pops his head inside. “About me of course.” He says, giving you one last smile, and then he’s out the door for good and going down the hallway to his room.

You throw yourself on the bed at lightning speed, grab your pillow, and proceed to scream into it! That man was so infuriating. Why did he have to be so insufferably cocky and handsome? You just sit in your bed for a couple of minutes, trying to calm yourself from well, today in general! ‘I’ve got to get ahold of myself around him! Starting tomorrow, I won’t let him get me so flustered!’ You think to yourself. After a couple of minutes of deep breathing, you grab your phone and call your mom. She picks up after just 2 rings.

“There’s my baby! How was your first day?” She asks excitedly.

“Well, Mom it was-“ You then proceed to tell her all about your first day, of course leaving out that a certain man loves to tease you mercilessly...

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #smut #gojo smut #angst #slow burn #gojo x reader smut

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alienb0niiz · 25 days ago

Note

Yo, big Yuri enjoyer here. I want to broaden my horizons and check out some Yaoi. Was wondering if you had any anime/manga recommendations to get me into the genre. Love your blog btw.

wow. i’ve never had anyone ask me something directly before, I feel so honoured ToT

FOR SOMEONE WHO LIKES YAOI i’m actually a tad bit uncultured in stuff 2 read, I often looked at art or fanart but am getting back into reading it so lucky me bc older stuff alwaus hits hard >:3

Anyways, here’s my recommendations with some deetz <33

1. Ten Count.

- oh my god.. the art style is 2 die for and it has the best PORN lol and the story makes me feel like i’m watching an anime like it’s so smooth. its basically about this guy with OCD and he meets this psychotherapist who helps him, he’s really supportive and sweet to him and the other guy is quite timid and shy but they get along so well and it’s a good mix of fluff and smut imo, it’s not as serious as it sounds, it’s rlly rlly good >:0!!!

2. Fukutsu No Zono

- while only being 5 chapters, it’s rlly sweet. the fluff in this one is exactly what I like, the soft bullying type guy and the one who’s a bit more reserved(?) the first few pages r fine to skim thru bc it’s kinda just there for context of who they are to each other and THEN it gets good, it’s cute and HOTT but tbh they’re not enuf SEX but I still 100% would recommend

3. Kirei ni Shiteyo

- i’m pretty sure when I first read this there was only 3 chapters and I read it at least 4 times back then lmao, to this day I still love it and its sorta set on a school rooftop and tbh some of it made me cry I think LOL but idk if u would since it’s only a silly reason

4. Sign

- This ones a manhwa so it’s coloured and has a slightly different art style to a more typical anime style but I rlly rlly like the art and the story, it’s no where near as short as the others and i’m pretty sure it’s completed or maybe still going after a couple of years, it’s abt a deaf guy, this new worker guy and the manager guy is kinda mean but it’s funny. the new guy is like a tsundere and the deaf guy is super sweet and basically they get crushes on each other and it’s a bit of a situationship for a while but it just gets better imo and when they hide their relationship from the manager it’s funny I rekcon lol

After these recommendations, I like, as in heart, lots of Yaoi that I wanna read so check it out, in my following there an account I follow that posts only yaoi recs, they seem to have good taste but don’t post anymore but yeah :D

Thank u sm for asking me I feel so awesome and i’m gonna go to bed feeling so well rested for tmr lolol

Let me know some Yuri recommendations 2!! I’ve only read a few :3

#yaoi bl #yaoi recommendation #yaoi manga #yaoi love #yaoi #yaoi manhwa #yaoi anime #bl love #boy love

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kafkaoftherubble · 8 months ago

Text

185.2章：放下？还是压抑？可贺，抑或可悲？

// Chapter 185.2: Detachment v. Repression

This ramble concerns To Your Eternity manga Chapter 185.2. It is edited from a conversation between (yea you guessed it) @bestbonnist and me after the chapter dropped before I had to hastily run off because sorry gotta see shits with my Besto Furrendo! Lisan al-Ghaib! Lisan al-Ghaib!!!

Although this chapter is devoid of hype moments—unlike C184.1 where plenty of us were sent into a frenzy— and good old macabre, this is genuinely one of my favorite chapters to date.

Because it became a really nice philosophical discussion between friends. Sounds a tad cheesy when I say it like that...

(1) Two Different Perspectives on Fushi's Latest State of Mind

Ray expressed dismay that Fushi's coping mechanism seems to gave become even more terrible because they are essentially repressing their emotions. They are telling themself not to feel anything and to be detached. In the Wish Era, Fushi seemed to have become more resigned to their fate, which became starkly apparent when contrasted by the Doll and Andy's loud, outward desire to see Abel live.

That dismal observation actually stunned me—because I happened to see this development in a positive light. What better state of mind should Fushi aspire to attain apropos to their immortality... if not a state of non-attachment? After all, if they don't learn to be so, then the sheer impermanence of life will torment them forever. To me, non-attachment—or in a more English-natural manner of speaking, detachment—is a goal worthy of pursuing, even if it is often fraught with erratic instances such as mistaking "repressing one's emotions" as similar to "being genuinely unperturbed."

----

(2) The Benefits of Attachment

In this story's universe, attachment keeps a person's faie (their soul) around.

Hence, to Ray, Fushi's loss of attachment implies their death (which I agree is a reasonable projection for the end of this story). When they no longer have anything to do—no goal—then it is time for them to move on.

But more than that, there's this other thing Ray is worried about. The manga asked whether Fushi is human, especially in its earlier exploration. Whether they think they are human. Therefore, it's hard to see Fushi's detachment as anything other than dehumanizing themself ("I'm not human so I don't deserve to be attached/feel bad when people I care about die.") It's one step to Fushi's progression into becoming a deity at the expense of their humanity.

This prospect is upsetting because they wanna see Fushi leave as a human being, as someone who dies after living a satisfying life like Yuuki did.

Ray also argued that there's a difference between acceptance and detachment. "Acceptance is acknowledging that something is out of your control and acknowledging that the way you feel about that." To them, Fushi seemed to have acknowledged that something was out of their control, but they hadn't yet acknowledged their feelings toward it.

Then, they conceded that while Fushi was frank about being pained by people leaving, ultimately, the dude seemed deadset on trying to ignore that pain altogether. "Fushi isn't good at being 'above' feeling things!"

I agree with this. Of course, they aren't! One of Fushi's powers is supernatural empathy. They can't ignore the sensation of pain or (occasionally) love in their vicinity even if they try. Feeling shit is what they do, willingly or not. And from an emotional connection like that, one easily forms attachments.

---

(3) The Common Error: Mistaking Detachment with Apathy

Strangely, at that point in our conversation, it became clear that Ray thought Fushi should not be detached because it stops them from accepting death—while I think Fushi should learn to be detached because it helps them to accept death. Same destination, but different ways of assessing detachment as a path.

Now, of course, when I use the term "detachment" or "non-attachment" (preferred), I'm once again drawing it from a Buddhist philosophical perspective. Because dude, it's me, 睿得失。You fucking signed up for this the moment you talk to me, bwaahhahahahaha!

Even Buddhists, born and raised, often make the mistake of conflating "equanimity," which non-attachment encourages, with "apathy."

One of the four sublime qualities (brahmavihārā), equanimity (upekkhā) is the state of being unwavering and unperturbed even in the face of loss and gain [1], good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, and sorrow and happiness. Its far enemies—as in, its direct contrasting vices—are greed and resentment. But its near enemy—the quality mendaciously close to equanimity—is apathy.

[1] Just a little aside: this is why I joked that Fushi should take up my self-given Chinese name in our conversation. 睿得失 means "being wise (about one's) gain and loss." The hope of attaining some semblance of upekkha is built into the name already.

Plenty of people think being detached means being uncaring and indifferent, and that it has some elements of dehumanization to it—be it to other people or to yourself. But it's not. Being detached is to keep a balance between concern and coercion. It's expressing compassion while being mindful not to conflate your genuine care with your desire to will things and people to bend to the state or situation you wanted.

Fushi and us mortals could easily realize one fact about life: it is truly impermanent. The desire to impose our will on the universe—as if there is some supernatural feature to our will that can influence things to happen—is a source of agitation. Life doesn't bend to our will; it indifferently stays impermanent even when we demand it to be permanent in some sort of personal bliss.

In Buddhist thought, it's our actions and intentions that impart changes. Our will (and our demanding desires) don't. We'll revisit this in our 5th Chapter later.

In other words! Contrary to Ray's interpretation, I see being detached not as imposing a limit on your compassion but liberating it from constraints. Now that you're detached, your mode of compassion is centered around the situation and people as they are, not as you hope them to be. True compassion asks for nothing in return—not because you suppress your demands, but because you genuinely have none to begin with.

----

(4) Fushi's Laudable Baby Steps

What really made me think that Fushi had grown here was their insistence that whether Abel lives or dies is "his decision to make."

Not Fushi's, despite their god-like powers. Not Doll or Andy, despite their love and attachment to Abel. It's Abel's choice. All Fushi can do is to accept whatever the man says—and that acceptance is only possible if they begin practicing detachment. After all, attachment results in the reactions Doll and Andy expressed.

To me, Fushi is taking a step in the right direction already. This is the kind of wisdom I think an immortal, most of all, should gradually pick up (I also think mortals like us should, too, but that's beside the point).

Here is where I think Ray's criticisms warrant merits in my interpretation: Actually practicing detachment/non-attachment is hard as fuck. I wouldn't deny that though it doesn't make you an apathetic non-human, you're not gonna be very normal-humanlike if you manage to be equanimous either. While learning to be detached, one often takes up a lot of problematic tactics and mistakes it to be detachment.

One such misguided tactic? Suppression of emotions. You force yourself to pretend you're not feeling anything instead of facing them and realizing their falsity while believing you're being detached. So Ray's concerns are completely warranted, because I don't believe Fushi has consummated their learning either. They wouldn't have lied about the massacre if they were really that detached.

Repressing your emotion, as a tactic, is wrong, but it is the hallmark of someone who's trying to get there, especially when you compound it with the philosophy Fushi was articulating. They care. But they are also being clear-eyed about the limits of their demand.

I don't think they seem resigned here. I think they are being wise. Baby steps, and their method is imperfect, but good nonetheless.

----

(5) Yuuki the GOAT and His Biggest W Yet

Fushi grappled with wanting to impose their will to make others live as long as they in the Modern Arc, right? That's one of their biggest and most constant sources of dukkha (dissatisfaction/suffering). But Yuuki's satisfying death and life... actually steered him in the right direction!

Fushi didn't come to earn detachment because of some horrible, tragic death turning them jaded and cynical. They learned because Yuuki's life and death were that fucking good.

Learning philosophy from pain is all well and good. It is usually how people learn it (few would give a fuck about existentialism or Buddhist philosophy or stoicism or what-have-you if they weren't in a personal crisis). But learning philosophy from joy is a whole other thing. Whatever you learned from that instance has no hint of jadedness and cynicism to corrupt your thinking; it's like making a decision when you're at the most optimal state.

This is Yuuki's victory. He influenced and taught Fushi without giving him pain or trauma to live by. He was not some main character of a tragedy despite outwardly looking like a bumbling normie.

Think about it: none of the Immortals who were attached to Fushi, until now, had been capable of influencing and teaching them without accidentally leaving some grief, pain, and trauma!

Why does Fushi take on Yuuki's form so much lately—if not because Yuuki is the only one who managed to teach them without the use of pain or trauma or anything like that?

And as Ray pointed out, Yuuki was the form embodying "Peace." Even his death was offscreen and peaceful. On a bed, unpoisoned and unhurt. Fushi remembers him constantly because he makes them feel at ease.

"It's our actions and intentions that impart changes," that was what I mentioned in Chapter 3 of this long-ass ramble. Here it is exemplified. People inherit the fruits of other people's actions (and you yourself are one of those who will inherit your own actions, too). And well? These are the fruits of Yuuki's actions that Fushi continues to reap even now.

That's how complete Yuuki's W is. He managed to leave just the kind of food for thought for an Immortal that eventually set them up to grasp the kind of wisdom they lacked. Who says the Modern Arc has no lessons?

----

(6) Conclusion, or The Abrupt Ending of a Conversation

As you can tell, I really don't think Fushi's latest development is bad. Bittersweet and a bit of a mixed bag, sure, but I ultimately think it's commendable rather than worrisome. Of course, my ass interpreting things through a Buddhist lens has a lot to do with it, but brutha, this is exactly my niche! You should have seen me talk about non-self vis-a-vis Fushi in a YouTube comment section!

Ray did leave this paragraph that had eluded me because, again, the Muaa'dib was calling me and I really gotta go:

"I have a potential counter-argument for you, which is about how Fushi's ideal person to follow is kind of a mix of Yuuki (as you explained) and Kahaku (bag of mess and you haven't read that part of the present era anyways), which is putting the concept of detachment together with a really selfish kind of selflessness (as we talked about). But I'm not clear on whether that's still there after their fight with the left hand. I feel like it's lingering a little but I haven't seen much evidence for it in the wish era."

Now, I don't really know what that whole bit was like because I didn't actually read all of the Modern Arc—just the latter half. But again, "detachment" and "self-lessness" are complementary and forward-feeding to one another in Buddhist Philosophy, so on this concept alone, I don't see a clash.

I should probably clarify what Ray's "selfish kind of selflessness" meant here, but... I'm kinda tired now. And I've briefly touched on this in my essay about... Gojo Satoru, goddamn it.

Or maybe Ray should explain it themself! I distinctly remember someone owing me like, 3 essays or something. I'm such a kindhearted person I'm willing to give them a discount and accept just one essay for this week, though. Don't squander it, you!

Thank you for reading my ramble.

----

Did you enjoy this? If yes, wouldn't it be really fucking cool if you get to read essays and commentaries like these, alongside fanfic and fanart and other interesting bits, in one place?!

BECAUSE! We are thinking of starting a To Your Eternity zine! It's merely in its Interest Check phase, but you gotta fill this form up so we can see just how many people in our modest little fandom want this! Be a supporter or a contributor, it don't matter at this stage! Support is the currency here!

#Honestly even before I started writing this I wonder if I *should* ahahhah #Yesterday it seemed like a really prime essay material!#Today? Suddenly call its meaningfulness into question ahahhahaha #But man this work deserves a lot more essays than it's actually getting. It's sad that it doesn't even have enough! WE NEED TO REMEDY THIS!#Me trying to fill the void is truly a 蜀中无大将廖化作先锋 moment. “An underqualified person answering a call because there's no one better.”#or in Jujutsu Kaisen parlance: I'm fucking Kusakabe holy SHIT #AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO SAY “Throughout heaven and earth I am alone"...........#.....until I'm attending a convention as a TYE fan #fumetsu no anata e #to your eternity #tye #fushi #fnae #manga spoilers #Wish Era #buddhism #yes a buddhism tag because fuck it. This is a lecture in and of itself!#Kafka's Buddhism hammer to all nails

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simp999 · 2 years ago

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☆Simp's Masterlist☆

I specialize in fluff, hurt/comfort and (strangers to) friends to lovers! Basically my fics are 90% fluff and relationship building, and just a tad bit of angst for the feels~

Code:

⛓Angst

🌸Fluff

🌹Romantic

🍡Platonic

(🌹/🍡 can be seen as either)

Note: some stories have all of the above, so the order of the emoji is the same as the order in the story. For example: 🌸🍡🌹⛓ starts fluffy and platonic, ends with romantic feelings and angst.

Most of my fics are gender-neutral, They/Them pronouns used! I'm much more comfortable writing gender-neutral and male readers for personal reasons ww

Love ya'll <3

Splatoon manga:

A New Home (series) 🍡🌸⛓🌹

(Various Splatoon Manga x Skilled! Isekai'd! Reader)

What happens when you get sent to Inkopolis, and begin to meet your favorite manga characters? Will you change the story? Will they love you? Hate you?

(Bloopers/Notes. Updated every chapter.)

Ch. 1: Where am I? Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 2: New people? Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 3: We are the Army. Wc: 1k

Ch. 4: If memory serves wrong... Wc: 1.3k

Ch. 5: Decisions, decisions Wc: 1.1k

Ch. 6: Hooooww Anooooying. Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 7: SUB WEAPON HELL! Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 8: Newfound Family. Wc: 1.1k

Ch. 9: Shopping Spree! Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 10: Skull's Territory. Wc: 1k

Ch. 11: A Misunderstanding? Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 12: Getting Too Comfortable. Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 13: Player Two? Wc: 1.7k

Ch. 14: ...You Didn't See That. Wc: 1.8k

Ch. 15: Sweetheart. Wc: 1.3k

Ch. 16: An Unexpected Meetup. Wc: 1.3k

Ch. 17: Not Much of a Choice, Huh? Wc: 1.8k

Ch. 18: Challengers Approach! Wc: 1.3k

Ch. 19: Freshest Squid on the Block! Wc: 1.4k

Ch. 20: The Absolute King. Wc: 1.6k

Ch. 21: A Crushing Defeat. Wc: 1.3k

Ch. 22: It Only Gets Tougher, I Promise. Wc: 1.4k

Ch. 23: New and Improved Team. Wc: 1.9k

Ch. 24: The Calm Before The Storm. Wc: 1.4k

Ch. 25: You're like me! ...not. Wc: 2.05k

Ch. 26: Another Step to De-throne the King. Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 27: Shoot For The Stars. Wc: 1k

Ch.28: Tranquility Before Chaos. Wc: 1k

Ch.29: What we Have. Wc: 1k

Ch.30: Pre-Battle Preperation Wc: 1.3k

Ch.31: Game On! Wc: 1.6

Ch.32: Someone to Remember. Wc: 1.1k

Ch.33: Someone to Miss. Wc: 1k

Ch.34: Someone to Hate. Wc: 1k

Ch.35: A True Family. Wc: 1.1k

Ch. 36: Bloodlust. Wc: 1.1k

Ch. 37: No, no! It's... Exactly What It Looks Like. Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 38: Mistakes. Wc: 1k

Ch: 39: The True Family. Wc: 1k

Ch. 40: What Now? Wc: 1k

Ch. 41: New Feelings. Wc: 1.2k

Ch. 42: Things are ... alright. Wc: 1k

Ch. 43: Things are not alright. Wc: 1k

Ch. 44: Healing. Wc: 1k

Skull:

Oneshot - Bully the Charger 🌸🌹

Wc: 0.7k

Army:

Drabble - Please Rest. 🌸🌹

Wc: 0.7k

Mask:

Oneshot - One of Those days, With a Twist. 🌸🌹🍡

It's one of those days- the ones where he just wants it to be over so he can feel better again. His hay fever was horrible, but maybe this time it wasn't so bad.

Wc: 1.6k

Team Yellow-Green:

Rider:

Physical Affection? No Thanks.⛓🌹🌸

Wc: 0.9k

Rock On! Rider x Rockstar! Reader 🌸🌹

Wc: 0.4k

Stealth:

The Deca Tower Crush 🌹🌸

Wc: 1.7k

Team Monarch:

Emperor:

My Monarch.🌹🌸⛓

Wc: 0.6k

Team Fortress 2:

All Mercs:

The Moment the Mercs Realise they enjoy Being Around Reader 🌸🍡/🌹(bit of angst for one part.)

Wc: 2.3k

Merc's reaction to their S/O picking up on their words/phrases/slang that they use 🌸🌹

Wc: 2.4k

Mercs with a Badass Fem Pilot! Reader🌸🍡+🌹

Wc: 0.7k

Sniper:

I Appreciate You. - Oneshot ⛓🌸🍡/🌹

Includes reader comforting (hints of being autistic) Sniper who feels bad for being distant, and stargazing.

Wc: 1.7k

Sick! Teen! Reader - Oneshot 🍡🌸

Wc: 0.7k

Pyro:

Knowing sign language (drabble) 🌸🍡/🌹

Imagine Pyro's excitement when they meet someone that can finally understand them. Fluff ensues.

Wc: 0.3k

Heavy:

Heavy reads to you when you have trouble sleeping (drabble) 🌸🍡/🌹

A sleepless night turn into soft snores after heavy reads to you in his mother tongue.

Wc: 470

Heavy With Reader Who Struggles With Managing Their Anger 🌸🍡/🌹 (Headcannons+Mini drabble)

Wc: 0.7k

Demoman:

Demo x Male! Reader Headcannons+Mini Drabble 🌸🌹

Wc: 0.8k

Engineer:

Sick! Teen! Reader - Oneshot 🍡🌸

Wc: 0.7k

Soldier:

BLU! Soldier: You have me. - Oneshot (hurt/comfort) ⛓🌸🌹

Wc: 1.8k

Medic:

The Red Means I Love You - Comfort/Fluff Oneshot 🌸🍡/🌹

Wc: 1.7k

Medic x Overworked! Reader - comfort/fluff oneshot 🌸🌹

Wc: 850

Sick! Teen! Reader - Oneshot 🍡🌸

Wc: 0.7k

Baby Birds~ Drabble 🌹🌸

Wc: 0.4k

I Like The Sound Of Your Voice - Drabble🌹🌸

Wc: 230

Scars - They're Not What You Think.🌹🌸

Wc: 240

Medic x reader who understands his birds🌸🌹

Wc: 320

Lutz Kruspe (Goth medic OC):

Dating headcannons 🌸🌹

Wc: 0.5k

Lutz x Punk! Reader🌸🌹

Wc: 0.4k

Proto:

Little Fri-iend!! 🌸🍡

Proto x little! NV! Reader drabble

Wc: 0.7k

Medibot/Otto:

Misunderstandings 🌸🍡

...Yeah, humans usually have their heartbeat quicken. It's normal.

Wc: 370

Medibot Oneshot - Overstimulated ⛓🌸🍡

He knows what it's like, he really does. He'll do everything he can to help, and maybe reveal some hidden feelings while he's at it.

Wc: 2k

Dexx:

Philia; Platonic Love - Dexx/Sniper 🌸🍡

Is platonic love such a hard thing to understand?

Wc: 2.5k

Sonic:

Knuckles the Echidna:

Lazy Day. 🌸🌹/🍡

Imagine being the first person to help knuckles finally truly relax.

Wc: 1.1k

Pokémon:

Giacomo:

I'm So Proud Of You☆ ⛓🌸🍡🌹

I'm So Proud Of You☆ pt. 2 ⛓🌸🌹

You were the one good thing in his life and he wants to make the best of it.

Total Wc: 9.1k

Arven:

All Good Things Come To An End. 🍡⛓🌹🌸

Sorry Arven, we'll have to hang out some other time.

Wc: 2.6k

Beyblade Burst:

Ken Midori:

Short Lived.🌸🍡🌹⛓

Just enough time for feelings to develop, but not enough to act on them.

Wc: 5.4k

Tokyo Revengers:

Various:

A New View On Life 🍡🌸

Oh how you lived for this thrill. Nothing could compare to the serotonin you get with these stupid boys.

Wc: 2.5k

Takashi Mitsuya:

Small Scares~ 🌸🌸🌸🌹

Halloween Special! Who would've thought that your strong gang-member boyfriend was afraid of horror movies? Time to comfort our favorite malewife!~

Wc: 1.2k

Shuji Hanma:

The Angel And The Reaper ⛓⛓⛓🌹

Halloween Special! Angst to the brim. What the hell is this feeling? Is it love? Disgusting. We love an unhinged reader.

Wc: 1.7k

Matsuno Chifuyu:

Familiar? 🍡⛓🌸

Baji? No, you're not him. But Chifuyu can't ignore the sense of comfort you give him.

Wc: 2.2k

TMNT:

2013 TMNT x Rise! Reader

Do I Know You? 🌸🍡

Do I Know You? Pt. 2 ⛓🌸🍡🌹

Damn it, Rise Donnie! Why'd you send me to 2013? Oh well, better make the best of it! (2013 Donnie x reader mostly, platonic for everybody else.)

Total Wc: 5.8k

Request info:

Taking requests for Captain Curly from Mouthwashing!

Please include a senario idea in your request. I'll do it in whatever form I feel like unless specified: Drabble, headcannons, or Oneshot.

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shysheeperz · 11 months ago

Note

love ur blog!! I check it out before starting an anime/manga 💞

just wondering do u have any recommendations for complete anime/mangas?

thank u either way!!!

Completed??????

Manga:

Fullmetal Alchemist- the gold standard

Silver Spoon- by the same person who did FMA. Agricultural school stuff. Cute.

Agravity Boys- space sci-fi gag comedy, a wild ride to say the least, I miss my stupid boys

Magu-chan: God of Destruction- cute digimon/pokemon-shaped gods get woken up and mingle with a bunch of middle schoolers. Cute fluff mostly, will occasionally pull at your heartstrings (including the ending)

High School Family: Kokosei Kazoku- comedy/ slice of life, about an entire family attending high school. Has a volleyball arc that rivals the likes in haikyuu!!

Haikyuu!!-sports manga, if you want to cry over boys and their love for the game then this is for you, Boys x Volleyball is the tru otp of the show

Hell's Paradise: Jigokuraku- dark historical fantasy, so very, very good. Don't get attached.

Dr. STONE- sci fi, technically the main story is complete. We still have been getting the occasional side chapter or three that continue where the main story left off tho. A very solid shonen jump series. includes one of the best shonen jump dads in the history of ever. Will make u emotional over lightbulbs and stuff. hard not to root for the main cast.

Dr. STONE Reboot: Byakuya- a non-canon little one volume spin-off about byakuya and mainly about a funky lil robot that will make you sob uncontrollably I'd personally say to read up to the end of the Treasure Island arc in the main story first before tackling this one (about ch 140ish)

Dr. STONE 4D Science- a continuation of the main story, only a couple chapters, the ending is a really cruel tease imo and if Inagaki/Boichi don't give us more may they be cursed to lose all their left shoes forever

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Sanji- spin-off of sanji side stories by the duo who did food Wars. ONE PIECE related ofc. Tasty looking food. Sanji too cool for school. One volume.

Astra Lost in Space- space sci fi survival, solid story that deserves more appreciation, the ending is just a tad lackluster in actually showing what a lot of readers would have liked to physically see. By no means ruins the story tho.

Blue Flag (Ao no Flag)- high school, romance, slice of life, boys and gals just trying to figure out life and relationships. Solid.

Mashle: Magic and Muscles- gag comedy that leans a little too much into the shonen battle-esque stuff towards the end imo, but a decently enjoyable time. A mash up of Harry Potter and other various manga like mob, opm, etc.

Mitama Security: Spirit Busters- comedy, axed but I enjoyed it. Goofy fun. nothing spectacular but reading it won't hurt anyone.

My Hero Academia: Vigilantes- spin-off of mha obviously, average joe Koichi >>> deku FIGHT ME, the goodest of boys, world building u don't get in the main series, Aizawa's backstory, Knuckleduster is the man the myth the legend.

Chihayafuru- screaming crying throwing up, it's niche it's technically a sports manga, romance, female MC, growth™, love triangle but at the end of the day that's not what's important

My Love Mix-Up!- comedy romance, big big mix-up on who loves who and lots of shenanigans ensue.

Noragami- TECHNICALLY not complete until like 2 days from now when the final chapter releases. my emotions! MY EMOTIONS!!!! 😭

Gintama- comedy/gag with dashes of really good drama

I have no idea what your tastes are, anon, so here's a mix that I've personally enjoyed. Some of them were axed, but technically that makes them complete so I included them :P yes I cheated.

Anime:

There's a lot less of them bc I haven't actually watched a lot of completed series.

Run with the Wind- more boys x sports but this time it's about running. Also the boys are in college. Will trick u into wanting to run.

91 days- ol timey story about VENGEANCE. Set during the prohibition.

Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann- makes you emotional and feel all fuzzy inside, sci fi, mecha

Cowboy Bebop- a classic

Samurai Champloo- also a classic and I actually prefer this one over cowboy bebop tbh, god tier baseball episode

Astra Lost in Space-the anime version, if you'd prefer watching over reading, but I always prefer manga > anime just cause.

FMA 03/FMA BROTHERHOOD- the gold standard. I appreciate both versions. 03 goes the anime original ending root bc obviously the manga wasn't completed yet no biggie.

Mob Psycho 100- MOB!MOB!MOB! and tumblr sexy man reigen arataka

Gintama- animated version alternative lol. The voice actors bring the characters to life.

Obv there are the old school classics like Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Gundam and all that jazz if you haven't already checked out some of those. Oldies but goodies.

#ask #manga rec #anime rec #pretty positive i've read more axed manga than those who've reached thier natural conclusion #doesn't mean they shouldn't get some appreciation #manga #anime

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popopretty · 2 years ago

Note

(im curious about all quotes but tried to include a larger version of some)

hi hello! if you have the time i'm really curious as to what these little quotes say on this keychain series from i thiiink 2019? google translate gets very easily confused bc of colors and formatting but i'm debating on collecting them if i like them ❤️ (ALSO SORRY IF THE IMAGE QUALITY IS BAD this is the original release tweet i think). thank u for ur time and work and i hope u have a lovely day!! :)

Hi, sorry it took me forever to get back to you. A lot of things happened and I couldn't get myself together to do st properly for a while.

I know this series of keychains! I even owned a few haha I love everything that has bsd quotes on.

So here is a list of quotes written on each of these keychains (together with the characters' names and organizations - some characters have more than one). Most of them comes from the Cannibalism and Fifteen arc, cuz these keychains are released when season 3 was on air.

BTW, I don't have the official translation for the manga so I'm using fan translations or my own translation instead.

Nakajima Atsushi - ADA: "A straight tunnel? If so, I can catch up with him with my tiger's speed." (Manga Chapter 47)

Dazai Osamu - ADA: "It's true that humans are sinfully stupid, but what's wrong with that?" (Manga Chapter 46)

Edogawa Ranpo - ADA: "And as for any vital intel, I will read through it all." (Manga Chapter 47)

Kunikida Doppo - ADA: "If only he'd return to the agency, it would certainly make things a tad easier." (Manga Chapter 41)

Izumi Kyouka - ADA: "If Demon Snow were human, I could serve its third cervical plexus and subdue it for life." (Manga Chapter 43)

Fukuzawa Yukichi - ADA: "It has been 10 years, after all, since we fought together." (Anime Season 3 Episode 10 - I think he didn't say it in the manga)

Katai Tayama - ADA: "Life outside my futon is living hell, all beauty is above the clouds, all delights under the ocean waves." (Manga Chapter 41)

Akutagawa Ryunosuke - PM: "Once, there was a man who bore the same eyes as you." (Manga Chapter 49)

Nakahara Chuuya - PM: "Sorry, Detective Agency, but today isn't the day for personal grudges." (Manga Chapter 47)

Mori Ougai - PM: "And now, this very place will be the site of your death." (Manga Chapter 50)

Fyodor Dostoevsky - Rats in the House of the Dead: "Joy to the world, and blessings to all its children." (Manga Chapter 47)

Dazai Osamu - Fifteen: "Remember our promise? The loser has to obey one order from the winner, like a dog." (Anime Season 3 Episode 2)

Nakahara Chuuya - The Sheep: "Shut up! You scheming bastard!" (Anime Season 3 Episode 3)

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #ask #finding all of them is harder than i thought lol

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anisaanisa · 1 year ago

Text

Limerence: The Masterpost ☆

I couldn't miss the opportunity for another canon-flavoured masterpost, so here I go again with Limerence. This collection is a prequel to Homecoming, so if you're not ready to say goodbye, by all means, carry on! The structure remains: above the cut lies links, and below lurks a prompt breakdown where I attempt to justify everything that just happened. Onward!

Tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Read it on AO3 ▶ Previous Masterposts: Homecoming〡Evermore

This is your rest stop. Beyond the Keep Reading banner are many words and manga caps for those with a vested interest in Inuyasha headcanons/meta/anecdotes. Snacks applicable!

The Personal Bit ☆

ALRIGHT, masks off besties. Are they your OTP? Cause they’re my OTP too, and we should consider bursting into flames about it together (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

I didn't think I’d participate with writing this year, until about a week before the event, when I was frying-panned with some notions. As a fellow bearer of the curse, it started with a seedling of Kagome looking out for Inuyasha in the modern era, whether she realised it or not and even if, logically, she knew better, and snowballed from there. So, I blasted through each prompt with the intention of keeping them short, and after a survey back, each chapter grew deceptively longer, and I thought: why not add a stair [100 words] to Kagome's case for each day?

This particular canon universe is approached thusly: the prompt is the starting point, and the characters do the rest. I don't control the narrative, the narrative controls me, type thing. Hence, chapters are plot-negative, and times skips are abundant. Anyway. Enough waxing!

Note: I am working with the Viz English translation of the Inuyasha manga with some anime filler for seasoning, and the timeframe for the 3-year separation falls loosely between 1998-2001.

Final Note: Limerence spoilers start here.

Prompt Breakdown ☆

Day 1: Love Language(s)

Summary: Kagome's been distracted. Or, I hc that Kagome spent a good amount of time away with the fairies (and trying to catch up with school) when she first got back. Thoughts and Feels:

Love Language(s) were coined in 1992; the likelihood of them being such a commonly adopted phrase/ideology was as slim as Kagome knowing what her friends were going on about. They're a relatively new conception of navigating romance, but that doesn't mean buzzwords didn't make it into those teen mags we remember so well, though! Point for fuck it we ball!

For better or worse, friends are gonna be a tad nosy, and Kagome’s definitely were. Consistently and without fail:

Chapter 23, Volume 3, Mask of Flesh ☆

—and how else to feel her “snapping back into the room” in 100 words, if not when confronted with mathematics?

Chapter 411, Volume 42, The Kind One ☆

Fun Fact: There is a small high chance I spent the most time on this one overall because trying to spin a tale in 100 words is wild.

Day 2: Possession

Summary: Kagome acts on impulse. Or, I hc that uncanny resemblances might ruin a girl's day out. Thoughts and Feels:

Okay, yeah, okay, technically the baseball cap didn't happen in the manga. But this is why filler episodes are good for the ecosystem, or something.

Shock can have a lot of side effects. Confusion, agitation, complete and utter lack of personal or road safety (to name a few), and in Kagome's case here, shoving Inuyasha-shaped familiarity under her nose when she least expected it had her acting up, because not only has the well been sealed off for X time, she was used to him acting up whenever he stepped foot in the modern era:

Chapter 392, Volume 40, A Peaceful Meal ☆

Her friends still care, though! Cause that's what friends are for! As wild of a creature as Kagome can be, they're aware of her “struggles” with her health, and are oddly used to her odd ways:

Chapter 35, Volume 4, A Little Imp ☆

Fun Fact: I rewrote that last line, like, 7 times. The free writing tag is actually fake news.

Day 3: Safe

Summary: Kagome's has a nightmare. Or, I hc that a brave face doesn't do much when she's at her most vulnerable. Thoughts and Feels:

If you've ever had nightmares/night terrors/sleep paralysis, you'll know how, well, terrifying they can be. Lucid states between sleep and wakefulness has a nasty way of warping perceptions, and with everything Kagome witnessed, her dreamscapes had to be vivid, especially after her stint in the jewel, where reality and fantasy blurred real bad, and what's worse, it taunted her about it:

Chapter 554, Volume 56, High School Life ☆

To further that point, Inuyasha gets brutal - beheadings, graphic slaughterings (sometimes at the hands of an MC eheh), you know, justgirlythings - and therefore toned down for television, as anime adaptations often are. Kagome was 15, and while she did that, it would leave a mark. Trauma, guys. We're talking about trauma now.

If the reference was caught during her tiny tale: the scene with Mama H being shook to fuck over her baby glowing is anime-only, but I really dig the idea that she knew something was up with Kagome from Day 0, really aided in reasoning why she was so okay with her daughter doing all that, thank you for understanding. Another point for filler!

Fun Fact: I…barely remember writing this one, actually, truly, read it back a week later like: don't know her. I love her like any proud mother, though!

Day 4: Modern

Summary: Kagome asks a question she doesn’t like the answer to. Or, I hc that curiosity killed the cat. Thoughts and Feels:

The trickiest one, in terms of setting. I spent too much time looking into the availability and flavours of historical records in Tokyo (particularly 2000ish, bc digital archives weren't that hot then) and came to the conclusion that while yes, it was possible for her to gain access to [something], no, it wasn't very likely she'd come across any death records, (specifically Koseki) for her friends, with the added bonus that family names are notably lacking until 1868. But take Kagome's resourcefulness + Japan's love for paperwork, and it led me here – to some kinda fake archive with fake books and fake names that could potentially be somebody that she used to know. And while I try my best to be respectful of the people and the setting I'm writing within, I asked myself bluntly, if I really gave a fuck about being accurate in this regard/fictional setting, and the answer was also: no. There isn't a Sunset Shrine either, so a fictional National Archives with The Right Documents there shall be.

Of all the Fuedal-Inuyasha characters, I feel like Sango is the one that would have Done Something to leave a mark, somewhere written on paper. You know...Badass Women For Agriculture Union [codeword for demon slaying], something. Yeah, Miroku was a holy man, but we're not talking about history right now, we're talking about Herstory.

And finally, that moment. The one where Kagome almost cracked and unleashed self-inflicted rage on some guy, cause time didn't cease to exist for them. The thing about Kagome, apart from her being an all round great character, is that she isn't tame, nor timid, and certainly no shrinking violet. But where she's brash and loud and (sometimes) quick to anger, she's also kind. And reasonable, and at the core, a wonderful person, and that duality is what makes her so lovable, relatable, and fun to write. Lookit her:

Chapter 175, Volume 185, Where They First Met ☆

Fun Fact: I really wanted to point out that Kagome was supposed to be in her high school uniform, but writing restriction said naur. Irrelevant. Also, this is my favourite chapter. Weird, right? Haha?

Day 5: Heat

Summary: Kagome hears a bump in the night. Or, I hc that stranger things have occurred than a random bout of sleepwalking while living with PTID (Post Traumatic Isekai Disorder). Thoughts and Feels:

There was a small blip in time where this chapter skewed Mature. Explicit, even. Something about imagining a certain someone in a compromising position, but then the wind changed direction, and I went for literal heat. Japanese summers are stifling, and heat...is hot. Ace card, go!

Lunar charts and such: they don't add up when you compare two points in time, 500 years apart. But there could still be some peculiar celestial moon stuff that led a sleep-deprived Kagome to have a gander at the moon, especially when it's new.

Chapter 140, Volume 15, The Other Side of the Well ☆

Inuyasha had a brilliant way of turning up when she least expected him, or staying away when she wanted to see him the most. There are little things that happen, like an open window or remnants of a dream that might stay with her upon waking, to lead her to think-maybe it was him?

Chapter 287, Volume 29, Mimisenri ☆

BEHIND THE SCENES REVEAL: Kagome was the one who opened her door and tried to feed the cat, but it didn't work, because sleepwalkers are silly. Easter Eggy Subtext: Buyo is the catalyst, but Kagome is the key. Think about it.

Chapter 494, Volume 50, Two Worlds ☆

Day 6: Courting

Summary: Kagome tries her best. Or, I hc that Kagome gives it the old college effort, a la jewel illusion. Thoughts and Feels:

Kagome's family want the best for her. Kagome's friends are boy-crazy hen-peckers. Hojo is cute, and has always shown an interest in Kagome. Therefore: it would be wild to assume she didn't at least say yes, once, to going out with him, even if she knew it really wasn't going to go anywhere:

Chapter 140, Volume 15, The Other Side of the Well ☆

Sometimes you have to do things to understand how much you don't want to do that thing. At this point in time, Kagome's coming up for graduation, she's spent almost 3 years dealing with everything that happened to her, and she's not a complete tool. However, the mind wanders, especially when you'd rather someone else's company:

Chapter 69, Volume 8, Sensing Presences ☆

She's going to give the modern era one last shot – because while romance isn't everything, it can be part of something – before throwing in the towel and saying fuck it, I tried. And as Kagome's will Kagome, she'd want to make an effort for the sake of others:

Chapter 35, Volume 4, A Little Imp ☆

Fun Fact: This chapter (and the next) ended up floating around 1.5K at first draft. I'd like to formally apologise to the words lost in transit, you will be missed.

Day 7: Smile

Summary: Kagome comes home. Or, I hc that Kagome finally puts her wants, needs and feelings first, and those might suspiciously man-shaped. Thoughts and Feels:

Yeahyeah, the “I never thought I'd write this”, we've all seen it. But it's true! Never thought I'd write a chapter retelling, and this one is that fact's poster child. They aren't my bag (to read or to write) but the ending was there all along, obviously:

Chapter 494, Volume 50, Two Worlds ☆

The right wish, the wrong wish, a selfish wish, a selfless wish – as many Isekai's go, wish fulfilment is a huge part of the narrative (not just for Kagome, but so many of the characters) but she, unlike others, had a huge weight on her shoulders about making the right one that I wanted to tease out that moment where she gets it:

Awfully familiar cap is familiar, Chapter 558, Volume 56, Tomorrow ☆

Are you sure you're supposed to be there, Miss Thing? Life doesn't end just because you finished a job, or have to feel beholden to a sense of home. Home can be anywhere! Home can be a person! You can do it, bestie. Do it for her! Her is you! Go Kagome!

Chapter 79, The Fruits of Evil ☆

She made her dreams – from acing school, to making her family proud, to seeing Inuyasha again – a reality. There's really nothing more I can say about that, it's all there. She chose herself! And that included him! Ain't that neat!

Fun Fact: In Japanese, Inuyasha calls her a baka. In the scanlation, he calls her an idiot. In the English sub/dub, he calls her an idiot. In the Viz translation (the one I refer to most) he calls her a fool. Imho, in English, he says idiot, cause Inuyasha has zero respect and carries that no-finesse kind of rizz. Bless him.

Bonus Fun Fact: Chapters like this are why I'm such a flaming monster about writing advice being a tool, not a rule. Those last two lines, without the use of But and And at the beginning, would not carry the same weight and timing I wanted to achieve, therefore, you can pry them as sentence starters out of my cold, dead hands.

The End.

Weehee! This could have been way longer (you're thinking how, I'm thinking I'm proud of how restrained I was) but alas, we've reached the end. Thanks again to @inukag-week for hosting the event of all time! I love them sooo much. Sososo much, they're the best little guys 🎉

If you have any questions, comments or concerns, click here to send me an ask! I love not shutting up about them 🛸

ttyl bbs 🤸

#girl help: a novel by yours truly #posts to keep #Limerence #inuyasha x kagome #inukag week 2023 #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfic #kagome #kagome higurashi #inuyasha #fanfiction #inu meta #anisaanisaff

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ruleofexception · 1 year ago

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People you'd like to know better!

Tagged by @ccprovolomies

1. Three ships

Obi/Shirayuki (AnS), Hunter/Willow (TOH), Charlie/Nik (Heartstopper). Honourable mention goes out to my OC's that have completely and utterly consumed my life.

2. First ship

Ahhh, honestly, could probably be any of the following: Dimitri/Anastasia (Anastasia), Mrs Brisby/Justin (Secret of NIMH), Usagi/Mamoru (Sailor Moon), or Crysta/Zak (Ferngully).

3. Last song

I've been finding a lot of inspiration lately in rock/metalcore music, so that's pretty much been the only genre I've been listening to lol. So, last song before posting was Don't Say Anything - Sleeping with Sirens.

4. Last movie

Well, after the house got hit by lightning, the TV has decided to give into a slow death (first my HDMI ports died, and then it decided that any and all videos should be played with flickering white lines across the entirety of the screen lol), so I haven't been watching a whole lot (hoping to get a replacement in the next couple of weeks). But I want to say the last one I watched was The Conjuring? Last one I saw in theatres was probably Guardians of the Galaxy 3?

5. Currently reading

Haven't been reading too much lately, so my tbr pile is a tad intimidating. That said, I did just pick up Fractal Noise; and I've been reading some manga series on and off when I feel like I can focus on it.

6. Currently watching

Again, TV being fried has significantly decreased my watching (also, I've just been in one of those moods where I'm happier doing other things), but I've been doing okay at keeping up with JJK and Sacrificial Princess.

7. Last thing I wrote

Last thing I actively sat down to add actual word-count to would probably be the next chapter of A moment apart; however, the past couple of weeks I've been completely absorbed in finally plotting out the original fiction series I've been humming and hawing about for years (and one that many of you have encouraged me to write as an actual series *wink wink*).

As of right now, I've got a handful of my characters written up, locations mapped out, and I've drafted a rough plot-line for books one and two, and am starting on laying out book three. My goal is to use NaNoWriMo to try and get a first draft done for book one which means that from now until Nov 1, I'm doing as much prep and planning as I humanly (lol) can.

Let's see about tagging @meefy, @kpslp, and @jj-carstairs!

#tag meme #about me #anyone else planning to nano this year?#this is the first time i've officially signed up for it (though definitely not the first year I've tried to keep up with it lol)#gonna see how this goes #but i am excite

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myapothecarydiary · 6 months ago

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Thoughts from reading The Apothecary Diaries Manga Ch. 4

First have to share some thoughts about the title page because look at it! I love how the moon looks like an ominous eye and the "ghostly" figure looks more sinister than ethereal. And check the framing at the bottom with the cotton rose. I love details!

Right away we get some framework for this chapter–it will address freeing oneself from one's circumstances. A woman traversing (or dancing on) the line (or wall) between freedom and captivity is quite the image. Escaping the cage of the rear palace is said to be impossible, but is it?

Maomao values competence–we see this so often with her praise of certain individuals and criticisms of others (see Hongniang vs Jinshi)

And instantly we get an example of someone she criticizes for their work ethic–Jinshi, of course.

Here her mind takes her thoughts of criticism a bit further. "As a eunuch, he should be in the offices of the palace domestic service..."

"...but he doesn't seem to be attached to any one place...it's as if he's overseeing the entire inner court. Perhaps he ranks higher than a director then..."

Maomao is beginning to connect the dots about Jinshi. If he isn't acting like a normal eunuch, then maybe there's more to him and his position than she initially thought. His actual position perhaps explains his odd behavior.

Lol I adore lightbulb Maomao. Her "assumption" that Jinshi is the Emperor's lover is both kind of a way for her to stop thinking too much about Jinshi's actual position/identity (preventing herself from reaching the truth) and an indication of where her mind goes due to her background. It's also funny how casual Maomao is about "indecent" thoughts coupled with how Jinshi still clocks that type of thought crossing her mind (maybe she isn't as casual/unaffected as you'd think and/or Jinshi is good at picking up on those types of thoughts due to his looks and the situations they potentially get him into).

I feel like Maomao defaults to assuming people have a certain level of lust/desire. There may be some legitimacy to her interpretation, but I also find it interesting considering how she herself comes across as lacking this sense of lust and attraction. She never exactly describes herself as "different from others/the norm," but she is conscious of how she is different/unusual.

I guess that is to say it is not something that really bothers her or something she gets caught up on. She just views it as a fact of life. It's as if through her personality and upbringing, she has been forged into this almost "objective" observer, which is reflected in her skill for deducing information and solving mysteries. Like with describing how anyone would be attracted to Jinshi, she does not include herself in any reflection on "everyone." But she is not objective and recognizes this–acknowledging the background that formed her knowledge and perspective + emphasizing when conclusions come from "conjecture." That being said, I do think she is more affected by things than she likes to admit and is suppressing certain thoughts and feelings. She does to herself as she does with discovering knowledge about others–like with the pieces she is putting together regarding Jinshi, it is easier to not think too much about certain things.

Going back to lust, she is matter-of-fact about its existence, but perhaps she puts too much weight on it sometimes. I feel like she is more willing to acknowledge her bias and subjective pov regarding other topics. And she is different, but maybe others, though they act a certain way outwardly, are more like her on the inside than she thinks.

Anyway, Maomao has deduced that Jinshi: oversees the rear palace, has a higher position than it seems + one that affords him a certain amount of freedom, is connected to the Emperor somehow.

~time line interlude~

3 months in rear palace @ start of the story: Maomao writes notes of warning to Gyokuyou and Lihua

1 month later: Lihua's son passes, Jinshi tracks down Maomao and makes her Gyokuyou's lady-in-waiting

1 month later, ~5 months in rear palace/1 month in Jade Pavilion: Maomao approached about "ghost"

We continue...

So, the reason I wanted to outline the timing of everything and how long Maomao has been in the rear palace and specifically the Jade Pavilion is because of how Maomao treats Jinshi here (and how she has come to understand his behavior).

He's seeking her out directly and one-on-one, and she can tell this means he wants something from her. Interesting that this makes her privy to certain information not to be heard by everyone (like the doctor. Or does Jinshi simply want to be alone with her for his own benefit/to work his charms? Both?) It's funny when taken with how people like the other ladies-in-waiting and Xiaolan gossip to her–with all the information, gossip or more official, she's like "leave me alone with this" while also being curious.

More notable is how Maomao speaks to Jinshi. "Why are you really here?" Very blunt and kind of throwing her respected etiquette out the window! It's like the "you're a caterpillar" glare in verbal form. She's really skirting the line now, if she hasn't already crossed it. This increasingly expressed lack of respect for etiquette and Jinshi seems indicative of growth in their relationship, as odd as that may sound. Has she learned how far she can push it? Does she not fear Jinshi as much as she perhaps did at the start? This behavior doesn't seem very "I want my head to stay attached to my body" of Maomao.

Which reminds me–look how much she avoids his gaze/looking at him. Is this her trying to remain that modicum of respect and/or to not be subjected to his fake, overbearing smile?

It seems Jinshi is learning how to pique Maomao's interest, but this little "It's not that hard to figure out" and Maomao's upset response to it stands out to me as it is an adaptational change and I'm not totally sure what to make of it. Is he trying to show off? Does this work to emphasize his own deduction skills?

Maomao's statement of her area of expertise in the light novel is an attempt to get Jinshi to leave her alone with this topic (and in general), but here it almost comes across as an angry rebuttal like "hey, that's my territory, I know more than you."

This is also more of "lack of physical boundaries" Jinshi with Maomao clearly rejecting his touch and trying to remove him. Is this for his own enjoyment or is he still trying to seduce her? It feels like he is toying with her. In the light novel, I feel like it is more clear that he is trying to get her to help him and knows she can't say no if she meets his gaze. I guess this is a more physical interpretation where he actually grabs her to make her look at him.

The whole scene does end with her giving in once forced to look him in the eye. But the interest she showed regarding sleepwalking seems like a more promising approach than Jinshi's go-to method. Does he realize this?

I guess this scene in particular is one where I would benefit from hearing the thoughts of others.

Sorry to get stuck on Apothecary's presentation of gender (but not really because I find it fascinating and thought provoking haha), but here we have another example of Maomao's understanding and perspective being challenged with how Gaoshun looks "very masculine" and not "like a typical eunuch at all."

I think there are a couple of interesting things happening here. Maomao comes at gender from a perspective very reflective of the context in which she exists, and in some ways, what first appears to challenge that perspective actually works to reaffirm it. Gaoshun appearing more masculine and like a military man is not presented in the story to challenge a bias but it is Maomao's first clue that something else is going on with Gaoshun, that there's more to the story. The same thing happens later when Maomao inspects Jinshi's body and sees it is more muscular than a eunuch's would be. Without further investigation, the presentation of eunuchs that don't fit the stereotype challenges that stereotype, but the truth of the matter actually kind of relies on and reaffirms those stereotypes. Gaoshun isn't just a eunuch and wasn't always a eunuch. Jinshi isn't a eunuch at all. If they didn't seem like regular eunuchs, it's because they are not.

And yet, Jinshi still appears very feminine. That is, arguably in part due to the drugs/forms of suppression Jinshi uses to assume his eunuch persona and operate in the rear palace, but even without those measures, he still possesses a great "feminine" beauty. He is sort of a contradictory figure in that sense.

So I don't continue to rant and ramble and disrupt the flow too much, I will expand more on these thoughts and the pin I put in the idea of how Maomao views beauty back in chapter one here.

Curiosity vs. etiquette/respect for rank–Gaoshun not being the stereotypical eunuch scratches Maomao's brain though.

Gaoshun's request for Maomao = Maomao is not being as subtle as she thinks + Gaoshun is observant too.

The introduction of Xiaomao! The cutest. And an indication of some of Gaoshun's fatherly and affectionate ways.

This reminds me of @i-guess-im-into-this-now's thoughts on how this chapter is covered in the anime–they note that with Yinghua and the other ladies-in-waiting worrying about her and the doctor providing her with tea and snacks, Maomao is "slowly building a support network." I love this, and here Gaoshun joins in! I think a nickname like "Xiaomao" is a little opening, through which affection seeps. Maomao is accumulating a circle of people who care about her, and as much as she wants to put her head down and do the work until her time is up and she's free to leave the rear palace, I think this circle of people will complicate that, whether she admits their impact or not. She's also becoming imbedded in this circle and building a life here.

This support network can also serve to contrast the initial perception of the rear palace–one full of fakeness and skin-deep beauty, a cage that traps women and pits them against each other with the sole goal of producing an heir. It still is these things, but there's more to it than that. There is genuine affection and care. It would be easy to write off the rear palace as being full of game pieces and a means to an end. And a lot of the time, people treat it as such (even among themselves in the rear palace), but the motivations behind the actions are often very messy and human. So there's a combination of humanness and dehumanization. Considering all of this, the rear palace also functions as a fairly good metaphor for Jinshi.

And speaking of Jinshi, he truly looks like an excited little kid when he is telling Gaoshun about Maomao's way of looking at him. I love seeing the contrast in the depiction of Jinshi when he himself is reflecting on Maomao's glares and when Gaoshun is reflecting on it.

Gaoshun of course views Jinshi as a child he looks after (along with respecting Jinshi's position) because he is a father figure to Jinshi and does know his true age (and identity), but Jinshi does seem younger/more his age in his excitement about Maomao. She often brings out the true him.

Jinshi himself refers to Maomao as a "toy," which could be considered a childish way of viewing things and thus also indicative of his true age and identity, but within the context, he is also thinking of her as a useful "tool," which sort of feels like a nastier, more grown-up way of viewing a toy. That being said, Jinshi's relationship with the concept of Maomao as a toy is complicated and emphasizing her usefulness could also function as him trying to justify his fascination and enjoyment regarding her to himself.

Either way, Maomao is disturbed by Jinshi's positive reaction to her glares XD

I just find this a fascinating, round-about explanation for why Gaoshun wants to avoid dealing with gleeful, Maomao-glare-induced Jinshi. Could it really be (or also be) that Maomao brings out that youthful, unprofessional behavior in Jinshi, jeopardizing Jinshi (and Gaoshun's) cover in the rear palace?

But yes, poor Gaoshun. Looking after Jinshi (and later Maomao too!) is surely a headache XD

Maomao realization then oh, I see face of deeper understanding. Is there a hint of sadness in those eyes? (about the reality of the situation and how women work to escape their fate?)

More moments of hmm will this be relevant later with "conflict of the heart [can't] be cured with medicine" Adding to my collection of ~medicine symbolism, poison symbolism~ Maybe I'm delusional, but certain lines and moments just hit hard, as if they are supposed to leave a mark.

Gyokuyou picks up on what's truly going on–understands the constraints of circumstances and how a woman must operate to navigate them.

Maomao is doing her duty but choosing where she ends her story/the extent of the information she shares. She will do this again in the future–it's sort of her way of possessing power/protecting individuals/seeking some form of justice within the confines of her station. In some ways, I think she does this with herself as well–"gatekeeps" parts of herself from others perhaps in part as a form of self-preservation.

I assume Gaoshun is trying to tell Maomao to hold in her "you're an insect" glare, but in how it pops up at this exact moment, it also almost appears like he is telling her to not give in to Jinshi and refrain from sharing all the details. To keep withholding information. Jinshi seems to know there's more to it.

I just love Gyokuyou and how this whole scene offers glimpses of the depth beneath her shiny exterior and position as the Emperor's favorite. More of that "the rear palace is more than skin deep."

Also love the insight from @i-guess-im-into-this-now that Maomao telling Gyokuyou the full story but not Jinshi reveals "where Maomao's trust and loyalty lies." I think Maomao probably also thought it was safer to reveal this information to Gyokuyou than Jinshi in terms of it not being used against Lady Fuyou, but I wonder if it is also indicative of her trusting women over men?

I mean just look at Gyokuyou's expression! This is an interesting clash of personal desire vs duty and what takes precedence. Maomao's expression here gets to me too, and I think she demonstrates an ability to sympathize with, or at least be understanding of, the situation Gyokuyou is in. You might think someone from Maomao's background, and someone who has spent time as a lowly servant in the rear palace, would be more resentful of the women higher up, but she seems to recognize that each position comes with its own constraints. Its own cage.

This bit here feels revealing about the Emperor and his relationship with Gyokuyou. Also speaking of desire vs duty, the Emperor gets to experience an intersection. Yes, it is his duty to father heirs, but let's not pretend that he doesn't get some enjoyment out of the process. He's serving the country and himself.

I do wonder about the differences between the story Maomao tells Jinshi and the one she tells Gyokuyou, the abbreviated version vs the extended version. Maybe I have removed myself from context by stewing over this chapter too long, but they both involve the courtesan gaming (or even cheating) the system. It's only in the second story that the courtesan is in cahoots with the buyers and playing for love. I could totally be missing something though and would love an expansion on this.

And here the ending hits with another moment of "how will this be important later on." What is the power of love? What could it cure? Interesting that Maomao observes how it enhances Lady Fuyou's beauty, almost like a natural counterpoint to cosmetics.

It feels like these beginning chapters are much more episodic in nature and work to establish the characters and the world and tease ideas that will be important down the line.

Referencing @i-guess-im-into-this-now yet again: "I wonder if the story of Lady Fuyou has any parallels to the main story? In a palace where the concubines and servants are trapped one of them manages to defy fate and escape to a future of her own choice." Thank you for sharing your wonderful analysis of the anime and I hope it's okay that I used it here! It revitalized my interest in this chapter quite a bit.

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