#taco also gets one of these! for funsies.

[snickeringdragon]

snickeringdragon headcanon edits :]

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny Pt.6

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

Danny slumped over the table at the library. He’d feel embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the rest of the floor’s occupants. Around him, students were speed running through the five stages of grief like it was going out of style.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck.”

“Same.” Danny replied, rolling his head to look at Tim. “I’m feeling like an academic victim instead of an academic weapon right now.”

“I should have stayed dropped out of school,” Tim grumbled.

Danny gasped theatrically. “And deprive the world of your awe-inspiring genius on…” Danny peered at Tim’s books and grinned. “On… the Krebs cycle? Seriously? They’re teaching that again?”

“I know! This is like, the third time.” Tim whined.

“At least you’ll be good at it, right?”

Tim scoffed. “I’m gonna drop out of college and become a stripper.”

“They do make bank,” Danny nodded. “But aren���t you like a millionaire or something?”

Tim brightened. “Oh, you’re right. I don’t need education! I’m filthy rich!”

Danny whacked Tim on the back of the head, laughing quietly.

“Whatever. Let’s go take a break. Snacks?”

“I literally don’t know how you eat so much.”

“Snacks have a separate stomach pouch. Normal food goes one place, junk food and desserts in another.” Danny retorted, quickly packing up his stuff. In reality, he didn’t need that much food. He’s half dead, after all. But food also converts to ectoplasm in his body, and ancients knows Danny needs all the energy he could get.

They made their way out of the campus library, passing stressed out looking students on their way to a taco truck.

“Does this even count as a snack?” Tim asked, amused. He tugged on his book bag, readjusting the vigilante pins on them.

“Is the sky even blue?” Danny snarked back, forking over the cash needed for the best fucking tacos on this side of Gotham. They sat on the benches, asking for an obscene amount of extra lime and cilantro before going to town.

“Holy shit, how many of those can you eat?”

“Dunno,” Danny mumbled though a mouthful or carne asada and pico de gallo. “Hungry.”

Tim snorted, pulling out his phone to scroll as he ate. A moment later, Tim showed Danny his screen.

“Hey, you live near here, right?”

Danny, cheeks bulging with food, peered at Tim’s phone and nodded.

“Oh, cool! Have you seen the green guy around?”

Danny squinted at Tim, tilting his head as he chewed.

“You know, the glowing green guy that’s been blowing up the Gotham Bay tag.”

Oh. Tim was talking about him, Danny!

Danny nodded. He quickly ate his food and wiped his mouth before replying. “Yeah, why?”

“Does he seriously just clean up the bay? Nothing else?”

Mildly offended for some reason, Danny shrugged. “I mean yeah? He doesn’t seem to pop up near any of the shady spots- oh, I saw him save someone from a mugging in front of my apartment once! But like, I think all he does is clean the bay. Which is good, because holy heck, that place is nastyyy.”

“Seriously?” Tim leaned in, looking super interested. “So he’s friendly?”

Danny raised a brow. “Yeah, he seemed pretty nice, I guess. Though, that’s not saying much considering your Rogues tend to be pretty chill when they’re not in the middle of a scheme.”

Tim snorted. “True that. You talked to him? When? Outside of his bay cleanings, right? I’ve noticed that he only talks to the Bats during those.”

Danny stared at Tim. “Tim… are you… stalking the guy?”

What Danny really wanted to say was: “Tim, are you stalking me?”

“I’m not stalking him!” At Danny’s suspicious glare, belied by his sauce stained mouth, Tim sighed. “Okay, maybe I am. But only some minor stalking!”

“Uh-huh.”

“But if you have, you think you could introduce us? Maybe he’d want to be friends?”

Was Tim asking Danny to introduce him to… Danny himself?

“Uh. Why do you even want to meet him?”

“Danny, he’s a glowing green guy that does community service for funsies. And he knows the Bats. That’s cool.”

“And here I thought you wouldn’t know cool if it smacked you in the face.” Danny teased. Well, whatever. He might as well do something nice for Tim. “Sure. I’ll text you when he pops up and see if he’s okay with meeting you.”

Tim grinned at him, a piece of cilantro stuck in his teeth. “Thanks!”

——

Danny made a duplicate of himself and went ghost. Danny and his duplicate looked at each other and sighed.

“We’ve done stupider things.”

“But we’re still not telling Jazz.”

“Agreed.”

Danny paused. Did he just make a deal with himself? No, he’s busy.

Doppelgänger Danny went invisible and left the apartment by going through a wall. Danny followed in a sedate pace, the normal way.

Outside, he pretended to catch sight of a suddenly visible Phantom. He’d heard the heartbeats outside his apartment ever since he got home all those days ago, and he’s pretty sure the vigilantes were watching his place ever since. Luckily, he made sure there weren’t any bugs or hidden cameras- Sam beat cautiousness into his head a while ago- before starting the plan.

One of those heartbeats sounded like Tim’s which left some… interesting connotations.

Danny sighed. Who was he kidding? Of course he’d be friends with a vigilante.

“Hey, Phantom!” Danny shouted, waving. Phantom floated over.

“Danny. Hi. Did you need something?”

“Oh, not really. My friend wanted to meet you, he’s a huuuuge fan. Think you’ve got time today?” Danny held up his phone.

Phantom hummed. “I can stay for a bit. Thirty minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll call him. His name is Tim, by the way. Thanks for taking the time to meet him!”

“No problem.”

Danny texted Tim, and minutely frowned as he picked up the sound of Tim’s ringtone. Shit, that pretty much confirmed his suspicions. He got a text back from Tim.

Timsy

[5 nin]

Nin

Nin

Nin

Min

Danny huffed an amused breath. “He’ll be here in five minutes.”

“Alright.”

Danny texted back an okay.

Five minutes later, a flushed and disheveled Tim peeled onto the street and right to the curb.

“Here!” He said as he tumbled out of the car.

“Damn, bro. You good?”

“Fine- oh my god, you’re the green guy!” Danny had to hand it to Tim. If he didn’t already figure out he was Red Robin, Danny would’ve believed the act. Holy shit, wait, he called his friend broke. Hah!

“It’s Phantom. Nice to meet you, Tom.”

A quick sliver of sullenness flashed over Tim’s face. “It- it’s Tim.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, human names sound so similar.” Danny leaned back and hid a grin as his doppelgänger messed with his friend.

“Oh, wow, you’re not human? What are you then?”

“Oh my god, Tim, you can’t just ask him what he is!” Danny scolded. These vigilantes were really similar.

“Sorry…” Tim apologized.

“It’s fine. To answer your question, I’m dead. Ghost.”

“Do you really pay taxes?”

Phantom tilted his head. “Yes, of course.” By the, Danny meant that he paid both human taxes and oversaw the Zone’s taxes. “You know that saying, something about never escaping from two things and that’s taxes and death? You can escape death- might come back a little wrong- but taxes are in the afterlife too.”

“Come back a little wrong?” Tim asked, eyes suddenly sharp.

“Come back a little,” Phantom gestured to himself. “Green. More emotive and prone to irritation.”

Tim stared.

——

“Jason, are you a ghost?” Dick, crouched on the top of Danny’s apartment building whispered.

Red Hood, crouched in the same area, stayed silent.

——

“How did you die?”

Phantom snarled and disappeared.

Tim whirled around, looking bewildered. Behind him, Danny struggled to stay calm.

“Where’d he go?”

“He probably didn’t want to hurt you.” Danny sighed.

“What? What did I do?”

“You asked him how he died. That’s like, the ultimate social taboo.”

“I didn’t know that!”

“It’s common sense, dude. Trauma like that has to be shared instead of asked about. Generally.” Danny sighed. “Come on, let’s get off the street and I’ll give you a crash course in manners.”

——

Bruce, upon hearing about the conversation, dove headfirst into researching the after life.

“No, go suck a goat’s genitals, Batsy, I am not helping you adopt a being of the infinite realms!” Constantine hung up on him.

“Hn.” Bruce will adopt the child and give him a home. It’s only a matter of when… and what inter-dimensional loopholes he could find and use in the relevant laws.

Jason was right behind him, because he was going to get answers, dammit.

[sugareey-makes-stuff]

Oh heyyy! It's been a while, but I think this sorta sums up what April into early May was like. Stiles and Derek really got to exercise their foodieness as the weather got warmer to go on more adventures!

>>> I ended up going to a candy shop last month, and that was quite an extravaganza. They were both intrigued by the gumball machine that was bigger them (and apparently for kids 3+). I sadly had to decline when they asked me to get this. >>> Derek kept eyeing these caramel macaroons and got super grumpy when Stiles made him pose with the Baby Shark lollipops. I don't blame him...I guess he didn't like how cheery they were. >>> Meanwhile, Stiles was in absolute bliss when he found gummy tacos and a crap load of Monster drinks! (Which I didn't get, but I got other candy to take back with me...sour belts and peach rings, anyone?!) >>> I also ended up picking up a Mini Brands ball (the foodie version) for funsies. The boys got some nice surprises from this one! The Pizza Hut pizza is tiny AF and kinda sad. There are apparently 96+ things you can get, but I'm still not sure if I want to get another tbh. You know...dupes and such. But there are curly fries in this collection....so we'll have to see. >>> I think Stiles really liked the Jack in the Box breakfast sandwich, and Derek calmed down with a green smoothie and a nice bowl of ramen. All of these items looked pretty awesome. Same with the tuna nigiri!

That's a May part 1 update. Part 2 should be out before the end of the month, so stay tuned! It's def TW On Brand, and super fun!

Want to see more Sterek mini adventures? Stay updated by following the #stereksmolshots tag!

[dawnilith]

Community-building Tag Game

Tagged by: @peaceful-roadkill

Name: Dawn, Dawnilith, silly lil ding dong seal

Pronouns: they them

Where do you call home?

Im from the texas coast but currently ive enjoyed living in the dallas area and its been my home for a long time

Favorite animal:

Orca, manta rays, cephalopods, seals a lotta marine life rly lol

Cereal of choice:

Trix cereal

Are you a visual auditory or kinesthetic learner?

Def a visual learner its hard for me learn new things if im not being shown how

First pet:

Im gonna instead go with the most memorable pets i had which was two weenie dogs hannah and susie, me and my sister loved them a lot

Favorite scent:

Petrichor, the smell of gummy candy, breakfast tacos, and the scent of someone when i get to cuddle them

Do you believe in astrology?

I try not to believe in it too much cus its just for funsies but i do enjoy talkin and hearing abt it

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/apple music?

Majority of my music i listen to are mp3 files downloaded to my phone, i have a lotta playlists on there too, mostly of putting all of an artists stuff into one playlist, or my calm down playlist

Sharpies or highlighters?

Hmm i did learn recently how useful highlighters can be for drawing but i was more accustomed to using sharpies for inking/coloring

A song that makes you cry:

Ancestress -Björk, winter melody -donna summer; this womans work, all the love, mrs.bartolozzi, a coral room, and dream of sheep - kate bush, tokyo sunrise -LP, crazy world -WALLA, as the world caves in -matt maltese, kimono beat -seiko matsuda

A song that makes you happy:

Try me i know we can make it, happily ever after -donna summer, love and anger -kate bush, clouds -prince, birthday, who is it, big time sensuality, cocoon, in the musicals, ovule, allow, triumph of a heart -björk

And finally what do you write/draw/create? If so use this as an opportunity to shamelessly(😉) promote yourself!

I enjoy drawing my many burly queer oc's and i post them on my art blog! @dawns-art-blog and also on twitter @dawnilith

Nominations: @dantelupine @daybydayartwork @gr-74 @nikodavisflores @thermav and whoever else im mutuals with/wants to

[karlachismylife]

✨🌼🌺🍕💼🎹🎯🥊❤️✂️🧊🍀🌂💚🙌🍎🧠✏️💎💀🍩🎓🍥

Comrade, did you- did you just send me all of them- I'm crying, thank you 😭 thank you for enabling me to yap about Ved'ma, this is really kind of you... it became very long, so I hid it under cut, but hey, folks, look, it's Ved'ma! A commission by brilliant V-Roni from this tg channel.

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

[explained here], basically just named her after girls I'm in love with.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

She's somewhere in her 30s, born in 1990s. Hard to pinpoint exact age, because this requires for me to know very specifically what she grew up around, which I, born 2002, absolutely do not know.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Unfortunately, she does... Ved'ma is in a complicated relationship with Graves. There's been a >10 years ago young encounter in Urzikstan, a betrayal of his (as he does), a pause during that she fell in love with a fellow Resistance fighter, loss of that love, loss of her ability to participate in Resistance actively, fleeing to USA, an attempt to take revenge on Graves... and somehow she's here, cradling that fucker against her chest in their co-owned bed, after they went out on a date. They are absolutely in love with each other, but she still feels conflicted about it since he's kinda the enemy...

Also in a separate RP timeline (not even one to be honest, I just need to return to RPing after I'm done with uni overload) she's in a similar "I hate that I love you but I can't stop" relationship with @hiraeth-muse's Rabiosa. And even in a throuple with Rabiosa and Graves.

I'm looking into who she also could be paired with, but honestly, she'd kinda punch most of COD characters for various reasons... and she'd be too enamoured with Farah to actually try and pursue her. But maybe Farah. Maybe Gaz. Mayyyybe Soap although if I am being honest with myself, he's too much of a militarist... but I've been ignoring it for so long, I totally can keep doing it. Definitely not Price or Ghost, even though they'd be funny together, so maybe I'll write them for funsies.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

She's honestly a fast food fiend. Give Ved'ma a nice shawarma/donner, a fat cheeseburger, instant ramen, tacos on the go... the spicier it is, the better, she's the type to pour herself some soup, take the pepper jar and shake it until the whole soup surface is grey from the amount of pepper on it. Graves suffers when kissing her after she just ate several liters of hot sauce. But if we're talking some more proper food, she likes a good curry, will absolutely eat anything Mexican (or any Latin American, honestly, it's the perfect taste pallete for her) and she has a soft spot for Ukrainian borsh, draniki (potato pancakes) and plain old rye bread with salo slices (salt-cured pork fat). Ukrainian half of her family taught her to eat a lot and with pleasure, so as long as it tastes good and fills her up, she thinks it's the best shit ever, no matter how fancy or un-fancy it is.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

It's a tough question, to be honest, because I am not sure about how realistic it is in the moment with the current US politics, but I always thought she's probably working in some non-profit with other antifa comrades immigrants or in one of cooperatives. Like a multi-purpose space with an independant publishing house, a cafe they serve sapatists' coffee in, a lecutre hall, maybe even a small concert space and all that, organising it all and helping in whatever current projects they have. She never got further education, so she really just does whatever helps the cause and gets her a bit further through the day.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

[answered here]

🎯 -What do they do best?

Be angry. It's her driving power, as long as she stays angry enough, she crushes whatever task she has in front of her. When she gets calm, though, she starts to crumble a little and even easy things can fall out of her hands.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Ironically with the emoji, she genuinely likes to fight. It started out as a necessity in the street wars against nazis, but now she kinda might be seeking trouble on purpose. She won't punch a fully innocent person, of course, but she isn't above aggressively inserting herself into some situations in bars, for example, when a guy harassing a woman could be simply kicked out by the staff - she probably is already throwing punches, which isn't wise considering she's not in the best form ever. And if Graves knew she sometimes hangs around right-wing gathering spots to hunt down one of them on a secluded street, he'd probably get some more white hairs. But she also really enjoys soup kitchen volunteering, more than some other actions she's participated in.

And what she hates to do is conform, bend under the system and ride cars. She's used to walking on foot or using Moscow's quite well-working (not perfect, but still) public transport system, automobiles just feel excessive to her. Why ride a car when you can walk, take a bus or a train, use the subway... just why. (Graves wouldn't let her pick music 100% of the time so she's salty)

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

So I offered one here and one here, but let's do a third one, let's do adult Ved'ma post all the background shite. This would probably be something like her befriending a neighbour's dog, going away to treat her knee for along time, coming back and seeing that the dog missed her. Especially since even after treatment her knee just isn't the same so there's a lot of disappointment there, but it doesn't matter when a giant laika is jumping on her and wagging its tail off.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Seeing the actual Ved'ma (girl whose name she took after as per tradition, Kurds take names of fallen comrades in arms so that they stay fighting) killed by Russians, absolutely. They all knew what they were doing and she knows there was no way really to do anything, so the survivor's guilt is not the most present, but it's a blacked out date in her calender. The single black braid she wears on her left is commemorating that girl.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Yeah! I always had the same image in my head, didn't have the means to execute first, but then I got my hands on Dogma character creator, made some concept building and started commissioning artists. I am still obsessed with the art my love made for Ved'ma though, just fucking... She captured my girl so well. I say she's younger here, thus even angrier. Ugh, those eyes. I am 100% printing it as a poster once I get the money to. But here, have Ved'ma's handsome mug in Dogma, just look at that nose.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

[answered here]

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

She'd fit in in some dystipian -punk. Cyberpunk, biopunk... maybe in a horror. Beating up the antagonist with a crowbar. She'd do a road movie like Logan okay despite her hatred for car rides. Romance with a sprinkle of doom. That kinda stuff. Oh and smut. Most definitely smut. I am yet to meet a person that doesn't want to be stepped on by Ved'ma and I fully understand them, I hope she breaks my neck.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

If you'd ask Ved'ma herself, she would send you this meme and cackle:

But if you ask me, I would put her somewhere around demigirl on the spectrum, closer to nb. She uses she/they prounouns in English and isn't bothered all that much ("I identify as a threat to the system"). Pansexual, polyamorous, hopeless romantic at heart, but you didn't hear it from me.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

I am yet debating this, but if she has any, it has to be one older sibling (most likely sister, but not sure). She kinda lost contact with her family pretty early on, so they aren't talking, but she follow them on social media.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Her parents were good parents, but they couldn't approve a young teen getting involved with dangerous antifa movement, especially once things started escalating, so by the time she ran off to Urzikstan around 2010, the relationship was kinda non-existent. Not hostile, just... clearly very different people with very different life paths. She keeps up with parents on social media too and feels guilty about not coming back after war with Ukraine started in 2014, but by that time she was already looking at a very long prison sentence had she returned to Russia, so that wasn't an option. If Graves ever raised marriage question, she'd have a ton of ready to go jokes about how her mum would be happy she bagged a rich American or how he hadn't met her parents yet or that they need to send a rescue heli after her dad to walk her down the aisle. But they probably aren't thinking about marriage so the jokes remain unsaid.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

[answered here]

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

I can tell you that I definitely think about Ved'ma every day, but writing is a luxury at the moment. If things go well, I'll start doing it, including RP and oneshots, pretty often since the week after next week, but we'll see.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Not really. I don't even know what her death would be like since the current political and social climate are actively changing in the field she engages with. How possible it is for her to get shanked on her own doorsteps? I don't know. Socrates was killed in a fight in 2020. Or maybe she gets to grow old, forever grumbling at Graves and still waking up in his arms. Honestly, she's smoking so much, she might just kick the bucket from lung cancer. I can't tell for now, therefore, no, I think Ved'ma is gonna live forever. I'm not an angst enjoyer and I already put her through enough. Besides, we need to see in media antifa growing old and not giving up their views.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

[answered here]

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Graves Nazi scum, capitalist pigs and imperialist bastards. Don't start us on Makarov or Barkov.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Somewhere since beginning/middle of January 2025. I'm so excited about her lmao.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

Same age I'm now, lol, 22. It is kinda awkward to try and write someone older than you because I am fully aware how immature I am + how little I know about the times Ved'ma is supposed to live through, but fuck it, we ball. No one is gonna think about her seriously anyway, she's just for me to have fun and for a couple of comrades that are kind enough to be interested.

Thank you so much for closing this whole game, anon comrade, hahaha, it was very very kind of you. I hope you get same interest about whatever you're passionate about <33

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and twenty seven

okay.

i've been playing so much stardew (and reading ao3)!

did my weekly grocery shopping on monday and also picked up a vinyl for my sister that i had ordered and managed to get myself a puberty 2 vinyl as well while browsing the store hihi.

on thursday i had a presentation together with my classmates d, e and o. d's so pretty and smart *dies*. she had dyed her hair (or well, retouched it) and it looked so nice. i think i MIGHT (!) be developing a crush. i don't know. TRUST ME I DON'T KNOW EITHER HOW I CAN MOVE BETWEEN PEOPLE SO QUICK!!!!!!!! only thing is that she's very short which had always for me been like... a thing i don't really like. LIKE I KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD TO BE VISUAL LIKE THAT but... it's okay to have a few visual preferences... right? or am i problematic?

i have however always thought she was pretty during the online lectures back in the fall too. literally after my first day i remember thinking about how pretty i thought she was and how i'd like to be her friend... or something along those lines...

right... presentation. we had about influences in k-pop and i had about queer influences but i was so nervous TT d like... nodded and hummed and agreed and stuff throughout the thing which in a way helped but you know, i was still stumbling over all words and repeating information and only looking at the floor and my hand was super shakey... like to the point where o mentioned it when she was trying to comfort me afterwards TT she was like "oh no, you did well, one could tell your hand was shaking but other than that it was really good!"

on the brighter side, i received a lot of questions afterwards, which i now realize could just be because i explained it poorly, so that was nice. however i once again got nervous and like... couldn't perfectly explain things so d jumped in for me and answered and gave shorter and more concise answers. i'd like to think she did it because she noticed how uncomfortable i was. i was impressed how much she knew about the subject but i guess it makes sense since her part of the presentation was about black influences in k-pop and you know, black and queer culture have a lot of history together and queer history includes mainly people of color. it was still impressive though.

i talked briefly with her and s after class and i walked home feeling like i might have some friends soon. so that's exciting!

on friday i went shopping with m. it was a lot of fun but i spent so much money... we went to some stores then had food then more stores then a sweet treat then beer. i'll list a quick haul: halfaxa vinyl, maroon nail polish, foundation, eyeliner and a hair repair oil thingy.

we also... kind of planned a trip to dublin for funsies... to see twenty one pilots next year... we might fuck around and go... we have over a year to save up for it so you know... it's fineeeeeee. i'm so glad we both love ireland.

yesterday was my sister's birthday. i gave her an orville peck vinyl and a shirt with pedro pascal on it. her two fav things, country and pedro. i was nervous she wouldn't like the shirt but she ended up wearing it for when her (our?) friends came over, a, j and l. we had white people taco night and then played mario kart and mario party. it was a lot of fun!

our shower drain is clogged so today's laundry day so i can wash the bathroom rug that ended up being... quite nasty after the shower that made us realize the drain was clogged. i had to do my laundry soon anyways so it's fine.

i used to really like doing laundry but now it feels like such a hassle. i booked the same machine twice today so i had more time to wash everything since i think i wanna wash the rug seperately from my clothes and then i obviously have to do seperate color and white washes. so much work.

sotw: babymetal - mirror mirror

[shamelesscollectivesublime]

To go with the penny and mischa headcanons could you do some for noel? I love your other ones smmm

Absolutely I can noel is literally my number one fav and he is rotating around my brain at all times like a microwave

- as a kid he ABSOLUTELY wore his mother's high heels/fancy dresses and had a little tea party on a regular basis with all his stuffed animals bc DUH. He would force his mom to participate but she loved it

- she would paint his nails as often as he asked her to and in whatever color he picked. She'd have a giant collection of colors/glitter/etc and some of his earliest/favorite memories would be of him sitting on her bed getting his nails done and watching reality tv or a devastating french film he's DEFINITELY too young to be seeing

- he is also a giant theater kid and is only in the choir because he was banned from being in the school's plays after the waiting for godot incident

- everyone loves "nischa where Mischa is oblivious to Noel's flirting" but in my heart and soul it's the other way around

- bro is clueless fr Mischa could literally walk up to him and say "I am in love with you noel gruber and I want to marry you" and he'd be like ha imagine. Obviously you'd never mean that though

- was definitely given makeup from his mother for a birthday or something and it's all subtle enough that he can wear it places without people REALLY noticing but he knows it's there (it's like, clear mascara and tinted chapstick but he definitely cried when he opened it)

- side note he definitely has one of the nicest moms out of everyone in the choir??? People hc that she's an alcoholic for some reason and it's like. Nah she's his number one biggest fan fr !!!! We would know if she was 💀

- she doesn't KNOW about Monique per se but she's definitely seen the outfit in his laundry and just never brought it up

- because I know for a fact he's had it in his closet for YEARS and wore it for funsies when he knew nobody was home. Definitely has the entire choreography of cell block tango PERFECTED

- even before he worked at taco bell he high key hated it and that was just amplified with all the shit he had to deal with at that job

- everyone else in the choir literally loves it and it annoys him to no end

- half of his texts with ocean are "hello!! How is my favorite member of the choir today 😄😄" "what do you want ocean" "Baja blast please" "okay."

- he loves ocean like a sibling your honor. They're literally mlm wlw hostility but in a best friends way

- ESPECIALLY AS KIDS when they were kids they were just best friends it was him ocean and constance. But then she beat him at duck duck goose and their relationship was never the same (this is canon to me)

- my favorite thing is making them all best friends with Constance even before the accident because of course they were

- she was the nicest girl in town!! I know her yearbook was signed with a bunch of meaningless "I never met you but you seemed nice" crap

- but my personal theory is that noel, ocean and constance were a lil trio in elementary school and then ocean and noel became mortal enemies (/hj) so they grew apart

- and that's why they're allowed to bully each other relentlessly bc they're basically siblings at this point

- titanic was one of his fav movies before he discovered french new wave cinema but he didn't cry much when he watched it (and if he did, it's because he was wishing a stranger he met on a cruise in the 20s would die for him the way jack did for rose)

[I don't know why I have titanic headcanons for basically every member of the choir I don't even like it THAT much???]

- also he insists there was no room for Jack on the door (he's right)

- he has a black cat named Lola. There isn't much to this hc but I just think it's objectively true.

- On the rare occasion the choir would hang out before the accident and the rarer occasion it was at Noel's house, Ricky would ignore everyone completely and make a beeline to the cat

- the first time Ricky came over he said "you have a cat, don't you?" And noel just kinda looked at him like ???? Before eventually saying "yes... But how did you know that?"

- he loves rain and thunderstorms from the comfort of his home but will literally not be caught DEAD stepping foot outside in it without an umbrella + rain boots + jacket because he doesn't want his clothes to get wet. And he's real for this

- speaking of noel and being dead (I am a god of segues), before he left for school the day of the accident he said these exact words to his mom: "farewell mother. I'm off to die in a tragic accident, don't wait up for me, for I will not return to you in this lifetime"

- this would have been a common way for him to say goodbye to her, and she would always roll her eyes and say "oh how will I go on without you! Surely the grief would be too much for me to bear! I shall stay up at night, clutching an article of your clothing as a single limpid tear rolls down my cheek" And then laugh and tell him to be safe

- and then he actually dies in a tragic accident

- oops #rip

- I don't know why, but imagining Noel's mother after the accident always made me so much sadder than the rest of the choir 😭 I just imagine that they were super duper close for basically his whole life

- also, despite yearning for this whole tragic life I feel like he's super squeamish?? He cannot stand the sight of blood or vomit

- maybe in his fantasy part of that is he can actually handle the things that end up happening in the movies he likes

- also I refuse to believe that their favorite rides aren't somewhat related to something that happened the day of the fair itself

- what I'm saying is basically he rode the ferris wheel with Mischa and almost lost his god damn mind

- it would have been so romantic if he knew his crush was probably mutual

- and finally. Nischa holding onto each other for dear life when things started going wrong and having to be pulled apart post mortem

Thank you for your time this is literally so long and I could come up with so many more

[inthememetime]

The Company (+Gandalf, Dís, & Tauriel)- Do they have a Tumblr in a modern AU which I'll probably never write?

Dwalin- Like this? *holds out a tumbler style cup*

Balin- Yes, and he uses it to shitpost constantly. 'Your teeth are always wet.' 'On average, the number of human skeletons in a human body is more than 1.'- style posts. No one in his friend group knows, but some suspect since he's suspiciously up to date on memes.

Thorin- Yes, but he's only on like twice a week. A friend of his suggested he posts some of the tattoos he does, and he likes the validation. He also does watercolors for commissions. He was confused about why some of his regulars told him they were 'looking respectfully' until he was tagged in one of Bilbo’s livestreams where he came downstairs in nothing but a pair of boxers with mistletoe on the front. Somehow he always forgets what night Bilbo streams on despite the fact it's posted on their fridge.

Glóin- No, but I think Dwalin has one you can use. Oh. Is it that thing my lad Gimli is always on? You know, my son landed 1st place last week in his- wait. Where are you going??

Oín- The what now? How do you get on a mug? Like a painting thing? I think Thorin does those if you want one.

Dori- Yes, he's on a few times a week. He's very active in the embroidery and needlepoint circles. He doesn't have a lot of followers, but he's ok with that.

Nori- He's more of a Reddit guy. But sometimes he gets on and spams the porn bots with requests for free toasters or tacos for funsies. He also teaches people how to legally get away with breaking and entering, theft, and similar crimes as long as they promise to only use it on rich assholes.

Ori- Yes, he has 2 Tumblrs. One that's active in needlepoint, crochet, and calligraphy that Dori knows about, and the other is a fanart blog. His Zukka, Johnlock, and Destiel work gets a lot of reblogs. Hates Post+ with a passion.

Bifur- He likes plants, so he started looking them up and posting them online. Eventually, somebody on Reddit told him he should get a Tumblr and now he's known as the plant guy. He's very active, and talks about his disability sometimes which lost him a few followers but gained him a lot more. He's actually made a side gig out of it through Ko-Fi.

Bofur- Yes, and now it's a legitimate business model for him? He still can't figure out how that happened. All he did was post pictures and videos of his handmade toys, link his Etsy and tell people he did commissions, and he's actually had to hire people now to keep up with the workload. 90% of it is the toys. The other 10% is the internet swooning over the super nice goofball who has to stop streaming to shout 'kitty!' every time his cat walks in and forgets to edit it out.

Bombur- Not really. He has a Tumblr, sure, but he hasn't used it since 2015.

Fíli- Yes because he can talk to people about swords and knives and axes and not be considered weird. He's known as the Weapons Discourse Guy, don't tag him in anything else. Unless it has explosions. Yes he's seen the video of his uncle in nothing but the world's tiniest mistletoe boxers, please stop tagging him in it.

Kíli- He has the blog his brother, mother, and uncle all know about- the one where he talks about hunting, archery, prehistoric animals, and dream vacations. He has his main blog, which is full of writing prompts, fanfic he's writing, and an insane amount of reblogged fanart for Reasons.

Bilbo- He finally got on Tumblr to see what the lads were on about, and posts a lot of baking videos. He runs a sweet shop and he's found lots of people enjoy watching him make candies, cupcakes, and pies. He also accidentally made Thorin a little more popular because he lives above the shop and sometimes Thorin comes downstairs shirtless while he's filming. His views always spike when there's the Baking Trifecta- complicated candies, shirtless Thorin, and Thorin talking to him from the side. His viewers like Thorin's voice; Bilbo doesn't blame them.

Bonus:

Tauriel's blog is NSFW, but not for the reason you might think. She's a Forensic Pathology major, and some of the research papers and pics she reblogs are disturbing to say the least. Despite using (some would say over-using) trigger tags, she still gets a lot of anon hate. Despite that, there are a lot of people who actually like her blog, because they get to find a lot about what happens when they die and find it comforting. She's also exposed a lot of racism and classism in the death industry, and now she writes books on it.

Dís: Everyone thinks she doesn't, but she does. She's not very active, but takes the time to send Thorin pictures of stickbugs (he hates them) because any opportunity to troll him is one she'll take.

Gandalf: He doesn't know how he got onto this hellsite, but he's blaming Pippin. Pippin was maybe 3 at the time, but he'll still blame the kid. But now that he's here, he might as well devote some time to raising absolute HELL on TERFs, Karens and pedos.

[praisetheaxolotl]

I know this sounds weird but I feel like bill and Ford might have had some sort of relationship. With the obsession that he had when he was younger and just how close they were. I don't think it's out of the possibility that they might have had some sort of relationship. And even if they didn't if he ever redeemed himself and himself I think they would have been a cute couple.

It doesn't sound weird at all! I actually wrote a couple shipfics back in the day, and I do believe that they had some sort of thing going on. And I really like the idea of post-redemption billford honestly. I love a Bill that's redeemed in that he's not causing world-ending catastrophes For Funsies and manipulating people Also For Funsies but he's still an overdramatic little shit of a man that's like, an asshole in a fun way? I think like, the best place for a redeemed Bill to be is like, working at the Mystery Shack. It's great! He gets to use his chaos magic and be a show-offy lil' shit but it's like that one restaurant, Dicks? Where you go in and you get insulted and That's The Point? You expect to get ribbed at by this fuckin' Doritos Locos Tacos, that's part of the fun of it! Sure he might change your hand into a mass of eyeballs for a hot second, but he'll change it back no worries! S' all part of the fun! It'll be fun and entertaining for him, he can scratch that itch of doing something big and grand and fun, and at the end of the day he can relax with Ford n everyone else and chill.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Thanks for replying! Could you possibly link the rp blog? I love your headcanons! What do the Cobras and Miyagi-Dos think of them? I like to think one of the characters in canon came up with their ship name, who do you think it was?- Cherry

But of course, Cherry!!! Those headcanons were so fun to write :D It’s honestly one of my favorite headcanon/ask posts that I’ve done, I think. I love thinking about how Johnny would react to Hawk and Demetri dating XD And writing that paragraph about how I think Demetri and Eli met was honestly the most fun ride haha

@sipping--snowflakes runs a Demetri RPG blog I think, it’s @binarybrother1! Idk if it’s still active, you’ll have to hit them up about that. I also think @hawkxatxheart​ RPs as Hawk and ships the binary boyfriends, if you want to hit them up too!

Aight screw it, Imma do the most complete analysis I can XD

Miguel ships it SO hard XD Like Miguel is a very smart and intuitive person who seems pretty good at picking up on emotions and such (he was able to almost instantly call bullshit on Kreese’s war stories, IIRC), so I’m almost certain that he picked up that there were Some Kinda Vibes going on with those two from day fucking one. But obviously he doesn’t wanna outright say anything, especially not at a school where kids will get bullied for literally ANYTHING and something like kids being gay for each other could legit put a target on both their backs if it got out. So he lets these boys figure shit out on their own time but is also like “...yeah, they’ll realize it eventually, I’m sure.” XD And you dun best believe he just went “ohhhhh my godddddd” when they fell out and developed a super intense rivalry because he’s like guys??? Do you NOT realize being that obsessed with fucking with each other...kinda means you’re obsessed WITH each other??? Even though you both have other friends now??? Doesn’t seem like normal best friend behavior :/ But of course our boy doesn’t want to interfere unless it gets really bad--and he’s got his own issues to deal with, anyhow. I imagine after the dojos join and Demetri and Eli start dating after a while, Miguel is just like “FUCKING FINALLY!!! Sam pay up, you owe me 20 bucks!!!” He’s so happy they finally dragged their heads out of their asses and realized they loved each other, because man, you can bet your ass Miguel knew they did from the get-go.

Sam I think I’ve touched on a fair bit in my other posts so I won’t get into a whole big long thing, but she’s...certainly leery of them dating at first, mainly because she remembers Demetri’s issues with Eli are what pushed him to join Miyagi-Do in the first place, and she witnessed him breaking Dem’s arm so she’s pretty...not crazy about Eli XD But Miguel and Demetri both vouch for Eli a LOT, and reassure Sam over and over that he’s a good guy at heart and just let Kreese get in his head and fell victim to his brainwashing for a while. Sam comes around to the idea after a while, and she can see how happy he makes Demetri and ultimately trusts Demetri to be smart enough to not date someone who’s going to treat him badly. Then eventually she and Eli bond over what a fuck Kyler is (he bullied Sam too, don’t forget!!! And they DATED, so the thing he did with the blowjob rumors was a HUGE violation of the pretty intimate trust you have with a partner) and after that she is VERY on board with him and Demetri dating XD

Chris is...Not A Fan, to put it lightly XD Like he saw firsthand how much of a fuck Hawk was to him and Mitch when they first joined Cobra Kai and how he basically hazed them both for funsies because he let the tournament win get to his head. And hell, HE was one of the ones who got sicced on Demetri in the mall and tried to get Hawk to back down, and SAW that he wouldn’t. And when Hawk was about to go after Demetri at Moon’s party, Chris was the first Miyagi-Do to step in and protect him. And, of course, he saw Hawk break Demetri’s arm, too. So he’s no stranger to the antagonism Hawk has always had for Demetri in particular, and doesn’t trust that it’s completely gone. However, Chris is a pretty down-to-earth and reasonable dude, so with a LOT of vouching from Demetri, I can see him coming around eventually. Also if he was willing to give Mitch a second chance, ain’t no reason he can’t do the same for Hawk. And Mitch would probably vouch for Hawk too, after he and Chris became friends again--after all, Mitch DID end up becoming pretty good friends with Hawk after all the hazing stuff. So ultimately Chris ends up being at least civil with Hawk, but he sometimes glares at him when no one’s looking like “I’ve got my eye on you, you’d better not hurt my bro or there’s gonna be hell to pay”

Mitch is fairly indifferent, I think, although he DOES find the irony of Hawk now being head-over-heels smitten with the same dude he sent him to beat up in the mall and the same dude who told everyone Hawk wets the bed to be IMMENSELY hilarious. He loves to tease Hawk about it, like “Man, what would you have done a year ago if you’d known you’re now regularly making out with that shrimpy little nerd???” and Hawk is like “oh my god shut UP” but then he turns away and smirks because the joke is on Mitch--he TOTALLY still liked Demetri through All That Mess Last Year, he just...had a very poor way of processing it XD

I imagine Bert kinda looks up to Hawk as an older brother figure (there’s a snippet I’ve seen some gifs of of Hawk teaching him how to block and it’s actually really cute--huge Big Bro/Little Bro Energy) and probably also admires Demetri quite a bit for trying to protect him and Nate during the Christmas party fight, so he’s definitely on board!!! His two honorary big brothers dating--he’s thrilled!!! Nate not so much, since you dun best believe he still remembers Hawk and his goons “kicking the fucking shit out of him” XD Nonetheless, Nate probably also has a soft spot for Demetri for trying to protect him, so with lots of vouching from Demetri (and Bert too, once he and Nate are friends again), he eventually comes around to the idea of Hawk and Demetri dating.

ON TO THE SECOND QUESTION, FINALLY!

I actually think Aisha is the one who comes up with their ship name!!! XD Allow me to elaborate--so at some point Aisha comes back (because fuck it, I miss her), either to join the new merged dojo or just to visit, because ain’t no one telling me she didn’t keep in touch with at least SAM and visit occasionally if she was still in the city or general area. So she walks into the dojo to go see Sam and her other friends and start catching up with everyone, and--oh, Sam and Miguel are in the same weird, combined karate dojo now that isn’t Miyagi-Do OR Cobra Kai??? Super wack, but okay. Then she sees Demetri and Hawk holding hands and her eyes get really wide and she’s like “Wait, you two are DATING now??? That’s...kind of gross :/”

And Demetri and Hawk just freeze up for a hot sec because is Aisha of all people about to be judgmental??? But then she immediately follows up with “Well, aren’t you the binary brothers? I don’t know if I can get behind incest, guys.” And Hawk just breaks out snickering and is like “Shit, man, she’s right. We should probably update that.” And Demetri’s like “NO WAIT I GOT THIS” and then he just goes “dEmEtRi aNd eLi, BiNaRy BoYfRiEnDs” complete with the super cringey robot arm and Eli is like “Oh my GOD I am GOING to kill you” as the entire dojo proceeds to Lose Their Shit.

Also you dun best believe that literally every picture Aisha takes with Hawk and Demetri after they all start hanging out again (because I WANT THEM TO, FIGHT ME) is captioned things like “Chillin’ with the binary boyfriends!” “Eating tacos with the binary boyfriends!” “Doing karate with the binary boyfriends!” and before too long she refuses to refer to Demetri and Eli as anything else XD

Also yes I know Moon was also there during the Binary Brothers scene but she most likely wouldn’t be cheeky and tease them about it later. Aisha absolutely WOULD.

[sleeplessvalley]

three weapons for funsies: standard octobrush, tenta brella, and nzap?

octobrush:

honestly standard's underrated too. everyone loves kensa octobrush :/ if I could actually use brushes I'd probably use this one, it's actually good

octobrushes aren't really a problem but I have my moments where I fuckin hate fighting them man.

also I'm going to smack you specifically out of the air while using octobrush inkjet. [taco bell ding] <3

tenta brella:

same issue with octobrush. people just like stamp, man, but the other two tenta brellas are fuckin great

I'm trying to learn how to use sorella tenta but tbh someone could probably get me to use this one too. don't like beakons much but at least I'm not one of Those Frontliners, and also christ these brellas are hard to use dfjhgkdfgj

I will target anyone using any tenta brella though. I can throw one suction bomb at the canopy and that'll splat someone sometimes :P

nzap (I assumed standard):

army coroika beloved :]

it's a good gun though, just not my cup of tea. I think it might be the suction bomb actually but [shrug]

[clrkingrm]

☆✺✈♫♧

☆: what my muse would be famous for if they were famous

if not for drumming, which is the most likely, either his twitch stream will randomly blow up and he’ll be able to have some niche internet fame off of that, or he’ll end up on one of those “stupid criminals” listicles. 

✺: something my muse loves and never gets tired of

drumming (obv), listening to music/making playlists/going to shows, skating, playing shitty video games, adam sandler films, thrifting ugly knick knacks, taco bell burritos, annoying the shit out of people, connor roth

✈: where my muse would go if they could move anywhere

nyc, baby!!!! he loves his hometown and he is ready to go BACK asap

♫: my muse’s favorite song, band, and/or music genre

he is a nut for the beach boys, and thinks wouldn’t it be nice is one of the best love songs ever written. he also got super high in his moms’ basement once and had a full on crying session over the song everybody wants to rule the world, so that’s another fave. bandwise, he really digs fleece, tame impala, mac demarco, foxygen, temples, beastie boys, the vaccines, and moses gun collective, and his “””guilty pleasure””” bands are wham! and duran duran. 

♧: something my muse is really good at

aside from drumming, he’s genuinely a pretty good skater. he’s been skating since he was a wee boy, and although he still ends up with busted up knees pretty often, that’s mainly because he tries extra risky shit for funsies and doesn’t wear any pads (bc that shit is LAME!) 

[areiton]

22 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by: @crownwithoutstones

Rules: Answer 22 questions & tag 22 people you want to know better

Nickname/s: Arei in fandom, and when I’m talking to myself about fic I’m reading. N or Sasha in real and professional lives. (My niece and nephew couldn’t say my first name when they were learning to talk--thus, Sasha.) 

Zodiac sign: Cancer

Height: 5'7″

Hogwarts house: Slytherin and if this surprises you, we need to talk. 

Last thing I googled: microwaves, housecats, and KDP FAQ 

Favourite musician/s: Oh lord. I don’t even know. It changes on the regular. I like The Chainsmokers and Imaginary Dragons a lot. 

Song stuck in my head:  Amensia by Gavin Mikhail 

Following now: uhhh. I don’t know...and I’m too lazy to look it up? 

Followers: So many more than I ever expected, why are you all here?? 

Do I get asks: Yep. Usually weighing in on whatever anti shit I’ve waded into, but also from ask memes or when I open prompts. 

Amount of sleep I get: *laughs hysterically* 

Lucky number: 7 & 14 

What I’m wearing: yoga pants and a cami with a comfy sweater. 

Dream job: the one I have. 

Dream trip: I want to take the kids to Europe and Japan--Gamer is obsessed with Japanese culture. 

Favourite food: food I don’t have to cook? My mom’s fish tacos are pretty high on the list. 

Instruments: Does the radio count? I also played flute in high school but I couldn’t tell you shit about it now. 

Languages: English

Favourite songs: Too many to count. 

Random fact: I have four brothers and almost everything I’ve published heavily features sibling relationships. I am not subtle, y’all.  

Aesthetic: i have no fucking clue? If you do, tell me, please. 

Tagging--anyone who wants to do this? Have fun. But calling out @verdantmoth @bloody-bee-tea and @starkerchemistryy just for funsies. 

[falseroar]

On the Case

((So, while I was writing Can You Wake Up?, I might have mentioned something about wanting to do a one shot with Y/N and the Detective. Here we have Abe and Y/N, (pet) detectives...))

You weren’t entirely sure how you ended up sitting at an outdoor table at a small café with Abe, wearing a Hawaiian-print shirt whose amazingly colorful design was only rivaled by the shirt the Detective himself wore as he scoped out the people passing across the street.

Spite probably had more than a little to do with it, now that you thought about it. The detective had gotten a hold of your phone number, probably from Tyler, and called to ask if you would be interested in helping out on his latest case. He’d barely offered to pay you before Dark barged into your room at the ego house, grabbed the phone from your hand, and said, “Absolutely not.”

You weren’t even sure if you would have taken the detective up on his offer if that hadn’t happened, although the idea of spending time with Abe and maybe even having some money of your own was tempting. But then Dark got tired of arguing with you and pulled Mark into it. It was one of the rare times you saw the two of them agree on something, going so far as to “forbid” you from going.

They should have seen this coming, honestly.

Sure, you understood why Abe even calling you “partner” might make the two of them nervous, but it wasn’t even like this was a dangerous case. Apparently, some guy decided to take it out on his ex by stealing her dog, and she hired Abe to get the canine back. Right now, the plan was just to tail the guy back to wherever he was keeping the poor animal, rescue “Thor” (apparently her cat’s name was Loki), and maybe make the guy regret all his decisions going by how Abe described him to you.

Sounded simple enough, to the point you wondered why Abe even called you for help, not that you were going to complain. At least not about that.

“Is this really necessary?” you asked, tugging on the collar of your shirt.

Abe glanced over. “Look, partner, we’ve been over this: you gotta dress the part if you want to blend in.”

“In what reality is this blending in? But that’s not what I meant.” It was true enough that you doubted anything about these shirts could be considered inconspicuous, with the only thing more distracting than the Detective’s shirt was the fact that he somehow managed to find a fedora that matched, but there was another reason you were uncomfortable. You tugged again, this time catching the top of the bulletproof vest underneath your shirt and managing to pull it away slightly. It was hot enough in LA without wearing layers, much less this thing. “Why do I need this vest? I thought the whole plan was to get in and get out.”

“Trust me, you’ll be glad you’re wearing it when you get shot.”

“You mean if I get shot, right?”

“That’s what I said.” Abe glanced at his watch and went back to checking out the clothing store across the street. “He should be leaving work any minute now. Quick, we need to be acting inconspicuous. Pretend like we’re having a conversation.”

“But we are—” You sighed and decided not to bother. “Abe, about the shirts, I don’t know if you noticed, but they kind of stick out.”

“Exactly!” The Detective flashed you a smile and a wink. “No one who’s trying to be sneaky would be stupid enough to wear something like this, so if you think you’re being followed, of course you wouldn’t expect someone dressed like us!”

Deciding it was probably best not to point out Abe may have just called himself stupid, you said, “…Sure, but, I don’t know, it kind of feels like you just finished watching an Ace Ventura movie and wanted to dress the part. Even this case sounds like something that happened in one of the movies.”

“Pfft, that guy?” Abe snorted. “Please, I practically taught him everything he knows. If anyone is copying anyone, it’s him.”

You started to respond to that but hesitated. It wouldn’t be the first time you found something like that to be different from the reality you used to be in until recently, after all. Heck, you passed an electronics store with a set of TVs playing news footage of a superhero decked out in red on the way here, and the only comment anyone else made was to wonder what Silver Shepherd had been up to recently.

While Abe went back to staring at the store in a not at all creepy or suspicious way, you pulled out your phone. It had taken bribing Google to get the android to “adjust” whatever he put in it that allowed Dark to spy on your phone and listen in on your calls, but spending a day keeping Bing away from Google seemed like more than a fair price when you imagined the look on Dark’s face when he finally realized you weren’t spending hours looking at funny cat videos. Even if you weren’t able to sleep for three days after Bing talked you into trying whatever was in that energy drink of his.

“Okay, I just looked, and Jim Carrey totally—”

“Shh, there he is!” Abe reached out without looking to shush you, smacking you in the face with his hand repeatedly as he stared at the bodybuilder type of guy who just walked out of the clothing store. The dude was massive, he could probably pick both of you up at the same time, and he was moving fast.

You both jumped up and trailed him at a distance, Abe making an effort to hide behind lampposts and trashcans even though the guy never once glanced back on his way to a bus stop on the next street over. Fortunately, at this point he put his headphones in and started listening to music so loud you could hear the bass from behind the bush where Abe was whispering (if you could call it that) about how to sneak onto the bus before the doors closed for so long that you two almost missed the bus entirely.

The guy spent the whole ride staring out the window, at least when he wasn’t skimming through Twitter on his phone. Everyone else on the bus kept staring at you and Abe, even though you were sitting in the very back, and it was a relief when your guy finally got off at what looked to be one of the more…questionable neighborhoods, considering the first thing you saw when you and Abe jumped off the bus at the last second was some graffiti of a Septiceye somehow eating a taco.

From there, it was easy enough to follow him to an apartment building, and Abe managed to catch the door before it closed behind him.

“Nice work, partner,” Abe said when you told him you saw which apartment he buzzed to be let in. There didn’t seem to be a doorman, or at least there was nobody behind the desk, and you had the small lobby to yourselves as the Detective laid out his plan.

“I know this place, I’ve had clients here, even lived here once back in…’02? ’92? Something like that, point is, there’s a fire escape that runs up the back of the building, I’ve used it a few times for…reasons. I can use that to go up the back and see if the dog’s here while you distract our buddy boy.”

“Wait, what? How am I supposed to distract him?”

Abe shrugged. “Just knock on the door, strike up a conversation, give me enough time to get in and out with Thor. Easy.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“Because I know my way around, and people tend not to trust…Detectives.” He paused, and you could almost see him trying to tell himself that’s the reason why people tended to avoid him. He slapped a hand on your shoulder and smiled. “But you, partner, you’re just the kind of person people want to trust and talk to, get them spilling their secrets after one night of poker I bet.”

You sighed. “I can try, I guess?”

“That’s almost the spirit!” He gave you a wink and he was gone, out to find the fire escape.

By the time you made it upstairs, you thought you had a plan. Just knock, act like you were lost and needed directions, keep him talking…Seriously, it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

First problem? Getting anyone to even hear you knock, with music thudding down the hall so loud you could hear it before you even reached the floor.

Second problem? When someone finally opened the door, you realized that you probably should have expected more than one person in the apartment, considering someone had to buzz and let your guy in, who was currently sitting on the couch with his buddy who, like the one who answered the door, all looked like they could have been made at the same place that distributed massive guys in shirts just tight enough to show every single muscle with faces that looked like they would punch you out for funsies.

“You need something?” The guy at the door asked.

“Uh…” You swallowed and said, “Yeah, I’m looking for a friend? I thought this was his apartment, but, uh…”

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“Jim,” you answered out of reflex.

The guy you tailed jumped up and walked over to the door. “Yeah, I’m Jim, you looking for me?”

Well, that wasn’t even fair.

“No, I mean, I’m looking for a Jim, but he’s like, this tall,” you waved at somewhere around the right height, trying to pretend like you didn’t just see the face outside of the window opposite the door. “Uh, black hair, has a brother…Also named Jim…”

“Hey, is that the guy up on the ninth floor?” Jim asked over his shoulder, and now all three of them were at the door, towering over you.

“Nah, man, that James. Jim’s down the hall.”

“You’re thinking of Jeremy, no one’s coming to see him. You sure you got the right apartment number?”

“I…might have got the number wrong, maybe? This is 7C, right?” You had to give Abe more time.

“Oh, I know!” One of the guys, not Jim, snapped his fingers. “I bet they’re looking for the east building.”

“There’s more than one building?” you asked.

“Yeah, this is the west building, place down the street has the same name, you know?” Jim said. “People get it mixed up all the time.”

“Tell me about it, half the time my mail ends up at the wrong place,” one of the guys muttered.

“Uh, yeah, maybe that’s it. How do you get there from here?”

They started giving directions, before one of them said something about it being late, and this was a weird neighborhood, and from there it snowballed into all three of them walking you down the street, cracking jokes until you got to the door and had to figure out how to get inside the building.

“Hey, Pa—er, Y/N! There you are!”

You’d never been more relieved to hear Abe’s voice, and you had to give him credit for not giving it away when you called him Jim and thanked the guys for helping you find your friend.

Once they were out of earshot, you asked Abe, “So, did you find the dog?”

“Yeah, but there’s a small problem…”

Turns out, Thor was a big dog, as in a German Shepherd who growled like some demon spawn when you and Abe snuck back into the apartment through one of the bedroom windows. The sound failed to reach the guys in the living room thanks to the booming music, but it did little to hide the dog’s teeth. Even though he was in a crate, you weren’t sure that those metal bars could stop him if he really tried to take on these two intruders.

“Shh, good boy,” you said quietly as you edged into the room. Your foot hit something on the floor and you bent down to pick up a well-loved plush monkey. The dog’s ears immediately picked up and you gave it a gentle squeak. “Yeah, you like this, Thor? Come on, who’s a good boy?”

Between you and Abe, you managed to get the dog all the way to the window before you noticed the pictures on the dresser. With a sinking feeling, you checked the dog’s tag and sighed. Of course.

“Abe?”

“Yeah?” he asked as he looked out the window to make sure the coast was clear.

“I don’t think Jemma here would appreciate us ‘rescuing’ her.”

You didn’t tell Mark or Dark about your case with Abe. If you did, you probably would have left this part out, and skipped straight to where you found the right guy and rescued the real Thor, an adorable Dachshund/basset hound mix who licked your face the entire time you waited outside while Abe found a few things that the cops might be interested in and called in the tip. You also probably would have focused on how happy the client was to get Thor back if you told them about it, even though the proud way Abe called you “Partner” made you smile just as much on your way back home that night.

((Thank you for reading! This is the last of those “I might do this” from Can You Wake Up? I’ve been playing around with another idea for the series, but it might be a while before anything comes of that. 

Tagging:  @silver-owl413 @determinedrevolutionary @cherrybomb-jaguar @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @oceanicfangirl @purpstraw ))

[safespacespence]

HIIII ATHENAAA 💕💕💕 CONGRATS ON YOUR 200 FOLLOWERS AGAIN AAA Okokok so for funsies!

💍 one of my my ideal dates is basically just driving around to different farmers markets/arts n craft fairs/antique stores and looking at all the cool items while trying on old clothes if that makes sense?? Oh! I also love food so trying out new cafes/restaurants is also a big plus too!! Adventuring and exploring new things is one of my favorite things to do 🥺🥺💕

🤷🏻‍♀️- IM CURIOUS

🪐 - currently!! Television/So Far So Good by Rex Orange County 💕

OK I THINK THATS ALL IM SORRY ILYSM OKAY BYE!!

come join my 200 party!

HI AMIIIIIII! thank you so much for celebrating with me <333 and thank you for waiting HEH

💍 you and spencer woke up particularly early, filling up with coffee and pastries fresh from the nearby bakery. you both went into the car, you driving (obviously), and spencer in the front seat. he ran gps and was also your entertainment, providing a commentary to everything you passed. by 8am, you arrived at the sunday farmer’s market. the quiet, yet bustling street was filled with active stalls selling fresh juice, newly harvested fruits and vegetables, sweet and smooth coffee, and homemade delights from cookies to breakfast tacos. spencer’s interest in each stall amused you and the sellers too, as they entertained his odd questions on their methods of harvesting and cooking. spencer would have bought something from each stall if he could, but there probably wasn’t a need for rhubarb juice in your kitchen; you had to convince him to not buy it. but both of you happily stuffed yourselves and tried every delight, spencer’s eyes lighting up seeing you so happy. you stayed until each stall had packed up, basking in the peaceful sunday sunlight until the street was quiet.

🤷‍♀️ ami ! sweet strawberry jam with cream cheese on toasted bread. pink blush on cheeks and a bit on the nose. laying in a field of grass, being wrapped in your lover’s arms. a dozen of repeated kisses scattered on the face. fluffy, curly hair tickling you. staring at someone’s eyes for hours and hiding your smirks.

🪐 i'll let you know when i get to it!