#t:self

[tadasukemakino]

nirei_fukuzumi Thank you for everything in 2024. This year I had a lot of trouble with my health, like getting hand foot and mouth disease and multiple mid ear infections... So I hope 2025 is a year I can spend in good health.. LOL I hope my entire family can stay healthy 🙏 Have a nice new years!!

[delicatevalentine]

Hilda realised her mistake almost as soon as she had made it. Camilla's deft fingers were gentle but firm as they tugged and weaved the pink strands, a subtle reminder that she was not going anywhere without listening to the onslaught.

As usual, she employed the tactic of waiting it out. Ironic, given the topic... Fortunately, from her position, the counsellor would not be able to see her face. People are depending on you... Well, that was their mistake, wasn't it? She had never asked to shoulder that burden! And it would only come back to bite them in the end, anyway.

Gratitude filled her for the distraction provided by the mirror; she eagerly grasped it and examined her hair from all angles. "Wow!" she exclaimed. Two reverse braids ran down the the back of her head, tied neatly off at the ends. "Thanks, Camilla! I love them."

She rose from her seat and indicated for the other to take her place. "Now, I think it's my turn." Running her fingers through the lilac waves, she pondered what to do. "Hmm... You like pigtails? And you usually wear your hair down, right?" She giggled. "What if I transformed you into me?"

Taking the brush, she began to comb out the non-existent tangles and section Camilla's hair down the middle. She was quiet whilst she worked, the counsellor's words still bouncing around in her head. With long, methodical sweeps, she lifted one half from the nape of her neck and smoothed out the roots, tying it tightly into a ponytail. Then, she repeated the same steps on the other side. A few final tweaks and tugs to confirm that the twin tails were symmetrical, and she presented the mirror back with a flourish.

"There you go! It suits you."

She hesitated for a moment, before saying, "You're right, you know." She paused for a second longer before a wide smile grew on her face. "Denying somebody a long, hot bath should be punishable by death."

Self Care Queens

[shotaru-o]

"First Aid, not. "

T:self-harm, slight fluff(?), possessiveness and MDNI ＼ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ／ (please tell me if I forgot something)

Wc: 1006 words

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You're calming yourself, breathing in and out slowly before opening your laptop and entering the live stream from one of the K-pop artists' platforms.

You sigh when you see Shotaro being clumsy, setting up and doing something on his side before drifting his focus toward the audience.

"Hi everyone," he started, with a smile meeting his eyes, knowing he's genuinely excited for this. You can't take your eyes off him. He's glowing, brightly shining on the screen, wearing his hoodie. The hoodie you bought for him.

Shotaro continued interacting with everyone in the chat, reading comments, whether they were wishes for him or for the other members.

You smiled timidly. He's happy. You can tell. And you're happy seeing him so excited, but reading some of the comments is putting you off.

You started rubbing your wrists slowly but with force as the live continues. Before you realize it, you've been rubbing the same area for quite some time now, causing scratches and a burning sensation. But you don't feel anything. You're trying to be rational. It's for the fans. It's his job, and you should know better.

"Yeah, our dorms have been changed, and the members' dormmates changed," Shotaro continued, giggling and smiling every time. The comments go on and on, and he seems to be enjoying everything the fans are throwing his way.

"Taro-kun," he read aloud, and again, as expected, he smiled. It made your eye twitch and a curve form on your lips.

"Fuck him," you cursed under your breath, grabbing something on your side to rub against your wrist, as this is the only way to calm yourself.

"Shotaro, daisuki!" A comment pops up, which Taro responded to with a sweet smile after reading it. This made you lose focus, and now you're staring at the screen absent-mindedly.

A lot of flirty comments follow, and Taro reads some of them. You can see them and know what they mean, but you refuse to understand. You're staring at him. At him. Only him. But the bubbles, they're distracting. It's as if your mind is teasing you. You find yourself sliding the thing you grabbed earlier against your wrist.

Taro talks about the remix and all, giddy and excited. He even dances, popping his shoulders and moving from left to right.

You're not aware. Your tears drop one by one. You didn't even realize the live ended.

You hate yourself for being so damn possessive. You've been seeing a therapist, and this is one of the tasks you were supposed to overcome, but damn it, you tried your best. You did a great job by not reporting and hacking the accounts of those who threw flirty comments, right? You did a good job.

Gripping the scissors you've been holding since earlier, you start stabbing your desk slowly. You shut your eyes and cry your heart out.

With bloody wrists, you're still there, sitting, unmoved, and still crying silently.

"Y/n, I'm home, baby," Taro greeted, still at the door.

Everything is blurry. Nothing makes sense. You just want to stare at the nothingness in front of you.

"Babe, I'm ho—fuck!" Taro panicked when he saw you not moving in the chair, a sign that you'd been at it again. He rushed toward you, kneeling beside you. He cupped your face, checking on you, but then he noticed your left hand. Your wrist was bleeding nonstop, and your right hand was holding the scissors.

"Fuck—baby, what did you do? Are you okay? Wait, first aid!" Everything clattered as he searched for the first aid kit in the drawer, not knowing which box it was in.

"I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm sorry, baby. Fuck, where is it?!" he continued, still panicking while searching for it. When he found the box, he rushed back to you. When he was about to grab your wrist and treat it, that's when you noticed his presence.

"T-Taro?" you asked, making sure he's not one of your hallucinations.

"Y-yeah. I'm here. I'm here, y/n." He looked you straight in the eyes, as if making sure your searching gaze knew he was right in front of you.

"I-I tr-tried. I tr-tried, bu—" You can't feel anything except for how bad your throat hurts from crying nonstop. You want to explain that you tried your best to hold back, but your tears betrayed you.

"Shhhh, yes. You did well, babe. I knew you did," he said softly, kissing the side of your lips before pulling you into a tight embrace.

"Let me carry you. We'll go to bed, and I'll treat your hand, okay? Just stay still." He whispered, and you closed your eyes tightly as he kissed behind your ear.

He carried you as if you weighed nothing, striding his way to your bed before gently droppeing you onto the soft surface.

Before he could even go back to where he placed the first aid kit, you encircled your arms around his nape and kissed him passionately. Letting him know how much you loved him by moving your lips against his. 

"Hmm—y/n, baby, we need to—" He was unable to finish his words as you bit his lower lip, your tongue knocking on his teeth asking for entrance.

He reciprocated your passionate kisses, his other hand on your waist while the other is on the side of your face. You moaned against his lips, closing your eyes and pulling him closer as if your tied lips were still not enough. 

"Shotaro, hmmm." You whined against his lips, earning a soft moan from him. 

He broke your kiss and stared at you lovingly.

"Do you still love me?" You asked him with tears pooling in your eyes. 

He grabbed your left hand and brought it to his chest, where his beating heart is. 

"Can you feel it?" He asked softly, staring at your black orbs intently. 

His heart is beating fast, which made your tears fall again. 

"This never stopped loving you, y/n. You're my world, and you're enough. I love you."

End.

[cloudedstudies]

everyone hopes to reinvent themselves at the beginning of the year, but not many actually succeed in maintaining their goals. these are some steps to give you a fresh start in the new year, from goal making to��purging emotional burdens.

take some time to reflect on the past year. what did you do that you enjoyed? what did you wish you had done more of? what could you have done more? what do you want to continue doing in the new year? write these down so you can refer back to them.

pick your top three goals for next year. try to make them as specific as possible. instead of saying “i want to get good grades,” say “i want to make straight a’s and not have any missing assignments.” take the time to think about how these will improve your life.

think about how you will achieve these goals. will you study for an hour every night? will you pay attention in class more? will you spend more time on projects and essays? again, try to be as specific as possible.

make a plan on how you will hold yourself accountable for these goals, ie. rewarding yourself for sticking to your study schedule by making a treat, going out with friends, or buying something you really want. you decide how often to reward yourself.

set up your planner with these new goals. schedule in when you’ll be doing the goals, and physically write them down. this way, you’re committed

now that you have your goals set, it’s time to start cleaning. clean your room, aka. clean it, do your laundry, vacuum, dust, and anything else you need to do to get it physically clean

throw out/donate everything you dont need. minimalism is super liberating, and truly rejuvenates you and makes you feel like you have a fresh start. if you can’t throw out much, try to get everything off the surfaces in your room to give the appearance of you having less stuff.

if you are a homeowner, do the same to the rest of your house. if not, clean and declutter your bathroom.

now that you’ve cleaned, it’s time to cleanse. get all those nasty old energies out by opening the windows, turning on the fan, and burning sage/incense, if that’s your thing. you can use essential oils in place of sage if you want, just mix a few drops with water and spray it around your space.

now it’s time to cleanse yourself! eat a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner. eating better improves your mood and physical well-being, and it encourages a more positive relationship with your body. even if salads and smoothies aren’t your things, try and find a way to incorporate greens, roots/legumes, and protein into every meal.

exercise, even if just a little. exercise helps to release stress and negative emotions and makes you feel happier and more energized. 

go outside. like exercising, getting fresh air and some vitamin D help boost your mood and release negative emotions.

now for the best part, the bath! get a lavish bath with some epsom salt, candles, bath bombs, or whatever else you want to add. make some tea/hot chocolate and relax. imagine the year being washed off, all the problems and stress you carry from it, and then being washed down the drain. those are last year’s problems, so focus on not carrying them into the new year.

[delicatevalentine]

Hilda kicked her legs appreciatively in the steaming water, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. Was there any better feeling than a hairbrush running through your hair? Especially when you didn't have to do it yourself?

The counsellor's tone was soothing... but her words, unexpected as they were, still sent a jolt through Hilda. Her eyes snapped open. Huh? Was this an ambush? Did Azama talk?

She forced a laugh. "Oh, I don't know about that. I just don't want to get in anybody's way..." Change of subject, change of subject... "Do you think you can do braids? I usually stick to pigtails, but I feel like mixing it up!"

Self Care Queens

[delicatevalentine]

Finally, somebody in this place knew how to relax!

Whilst Hilda couldn't recall ever exchanging more than a few words with the counsellor, everybody at the monastery knew Camilla. She was forever checking up on students, teachers and residents alike, handing out snacks and beverages alongside her gentle words of encouragement. It was impossible not to like her.

But, right now? Hilda especially liked her.

"This is divine," she sighed, her arms stretched out on the rocks behind. "A full-service spa, you say? I could get behind that!"

She eyed Camilla's lilac locks splaying out where they dipped into the water. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Self Care Queens