#t of like 'the person was just crazy!!' or etc. rather than looking at what might have encouraged those behaviors or etc

[thechocolatearmor]

OK OK OK OK OK people talk about sniper, or pyro, or medic being autistic right?

B u t

What if I told you all of them are?

Every single one.

Engineer? He's autistic. Soldier? Autistic. Frickin Spy?? Omgsh he's so autistic

So because my brain won't stop itching about this I'm going to write up a collection of all the evidence I have for why the TF2 mercenaries possess within their beings the big tism. By the time this is over y'all are going to be very sick of the word autism.

But IDC

So without further ado, let's go through each of these silly mercs one at a time:

Scout:

Alright, first up we got Scout. Scout I would consider to be AuDHD for multiple reasons

The ADHD is more obvious but like dude trust me he's autistic too

He's hyperactive, forgetful, gets distracted easily, kind of the basic stereotypical ADHD stuff you would notice immediately. He stims, he fidgets, he struggles in social situations, he's seen as over the top and a bit annoying, he talks a lot

Now a lot of these traits are things that are common for both autistics and adhders. But I wanna point out some things I notice about him that are autism specific

He has a special interest: It's Tom Jones. Honestly he probably has a special interest about baseball too

But I mean c'mon he's literally has a Tom Jones tattoo

You could argue this is just a hyperfixation but I bet it's been going on for a while

He also has "spikey" skills. Really good at stuff like drawing, dancing, sports, but he sucks at things like reading, math, etc

Mostly what makes me see him as autistic it's how he struggles in social situations. Bro doesn't know how to flirt unless he's got a bucket of chicken on hand

Soldier:

Honestly if anyone's autistic coded it's soldier

Special interest is all things American, especially if it relates to the military

Lots of autistic people wear certain items that remind them of something they like, usually disregarding things like how it looks or even whether or not it's comfortable. Soldier's helmet is way too big for him but he's almost always wearing it anyway

In meet the spy he does "hut hut hut" when he's doing down the stairs and it makes me so happy

He has no filter, he takes things really literally, he often sees suggestions as orders (teleporting bread anyone?)

Also when he says he's been doing nothing but teleport bread for 3 days it makes me think he must've been hyperfocused on that

I don't think he knows anything about volume control since he's yelling everything

What kind of neurotypical fights bears in Siberia while naked and covered in honey

He speaks his mind rather than beating around the bush

His helmet could also double as helping him avoid eye contact

Pyro:

Tell me they don't have aversion to like every texture besides their suit you can't

A lot of their animations are super stimmy

Pretty much nonspeaking

Has childish interests

Could also have schizophrenia? (I'm relatively uninformed about it tho so I might not be a good person to judge)

I bet half of their little mmph mmmph noises are audio stims

Special interest is fire

their stim is ARSON

Demo:

I headcanon him as AuDHD too

I mean tbf a lot of how he is is more related to alcoholism but shhh let me have this

But I mean he made friends with Soldier

Special interest in medieval weapons which would explain why he's crazy about swords?

Drinking could be an unhealthy coping mechanism/safe food

Probably also depressed with how he can never live up to his family's expectations

Infodumping about bombs in his introduction video

Honestly most of my "evidence" for him is just fanon but idc I like autistic Demoman

Heavy:

Whether or not him having a PhD in Russian literature is canon, some of his in game lines show him to be very poetic and thoughtful

The fact that he only has a few food items but always seems super happy to be eating them gives me safe food vibes

He sings and hums a lot, probably as a stim

He has the Resting Autism Face™

Special interest in his gun

A lot of his voice lines also just feel really stimmy to me, especially when he's doing the "YATATATATATA" thing

Not sure he has any volume control either

Seems to genuinely enjoy Medic's morbid stories, at least to a point

He really really really really really likes the song of the Volga boatmen in particular

He's the prettiest princess it's canon, you can't be a pretty princess without being autistic /j

He has a tiny bed for Sasha. HE HAS A TINY BED FOR SASHA

Heavy is often criticized as a class because guess gameplay is relatively simple and can become a little stale for a lot of people. Yet Heavy seems to have some of the most excited voice lines in the game. I feel like this emphasizes how much he thrives in routine, since he seemingly never gets bored of just doing his thing

Engie:

He has 11 phds

A lot of his voice lines also sound really stimmy to me. Either he's going YEEHAWW GIDDY UP or he's yelling DAMNIT DAGNABIT DANGIT DAGGIT NABBIT

Probably a lot of echolalia with that too

He humanizes his buildings and cares for them like a mother bird

Just listen to his genuinely heartbroken when his sentry gets taken down!

When playing Engie sometimes I find myself smacking stuff with my wrench even though I KNOW it's already level 3 and maxed and whatnot, or I KNOW I'm out of metal, just because I wanna hear the clang noise. So this point is just me projecting but I love the mental image of Engie giving his things a few extra whacks too

He sawed off his arm for his special interest

His whole monologue in meet the engineer is so autistic sounding to me

His dancing taunt also feels stimmy

He's always hunched over, implying irregular posture

He's a NERD—

Man of many talents including playing the guitar

Never takes those goggles off

How does he turn a stressful TF2 match into a (not so) relaxing tower defense game?

Medic:

I headcanon him as AuDHD too because he seems really scatterbrained and it feels like he's working on several things at once and always

He talks a LOT. definitely an infodumper

Either he's super stern or really giggly, there is no in between

He wears gloves in battle but not while doing surgery??? Does he just like organ textures??? Wacko

Special interest is obviously whatever the heck kinda of mad science he does

Here's a heavy medic headcanon I have: medic likes deep pressure hugs

Another special interest could be his birds

He's very spontaneous which makes me think AuDHD even more

Look how excited he gets when taking about the tumors in expiration date!

He got the organ stealing autism

Is it just me or does he fixate on baboon organs in particular???

Sniper:

I'm pretty sure all of you know why this man is autistic but I'm going to list some reasons here anyway

My main evidence tho are his Halloween voice lines: https://youtu.be/2WDljNAslys?si=JP25VOGGDWwwoCI7

Exhibit a, look how much he enjoys having an owl head

Exhibit b, lots of those voice lines make him sound really freakin' overstimulated

He probably wears the hat and shades for sensory reasons as well as because they look cool

Obviously the most socially reclusive of the mercs

I love his backstory where he learns he never felt like the other kids because he wasn't actually Australian, but what if he also didn't fit in with the other kids because he's autistic?

Also throwing rocks at people as a kid screams autism to me

No neurotypical would ever throw jars of his own piss at you either

I think he just wants to live in the woods somewhere and never come back to society and honestly that's based

I feel like he would be the type to bite his own arm when stressed (just like me fr 😭)

Extremely meticulous in following his own life rules (ie being professional and having standards, driving safely with the turn signal and everything)

Spy:

Ok just hear me out for this one

Smoking because stim reasons

He's literally and figuratively masking

He's very suave and probably really good with social things, but I feel like it looks like he's just practiced really hard, again MASKING

Who knows he might not even actually be French

Who collects photographic evidence for a ur mom joke

I see him as either being hypersensitive or hyper insensitive to pain depending on the day (his screams + "I do believe I'm on fire.")

Mad butterfly knife tricks as a stim? (Notice he couldn't help but fiddle with them even disguised as scout in meet the spy)

He sucks at dealing with relationships and that's one of the reasons he's a bad dad

He actually really cares about his team and you can see it especially in expiration date but he's not very good at expressing it

Do you think he wears the ski mask for sensory reasons too?

Probably has his suits tailored to not give him any sensory issues, which could be another reason he likes them so much

Believe me I could go on but I think this is enough to get my point across

THEY ARE ALL AUTISTIC >:00

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

Found-Family headcanons for a³'s coven of chaos, part 5: (because they all deserved more time with each other)

(part 4, here) - (part 3, here) - (part 2 - here) - (part 1, here)

Lilia once had a fling with Carmilla, from the lesbian vampire novel. She absent-mindedly mentioned it one time while Billy was browsing 'queer classics' and he looked at her in absolute shock. “What? I wasn't *always* a hermit—” “That's not what I'm shocked a b o u t—”

Lilia is very irresponsible with what she eats, sometimes forgetting food all-together, never checking for expiration dates, etc. (“I don't mind a *lapsed* expiration date-”)

Jen has taken it upon herself to fix that. She won't let her go grocery shopping alone and she won't let her eat whatever. Your girl makes shopping lists and schedules specific meals for every day each week, to make sure her resident scatter-brain stays healthy.

Jen and Alice vent to each other a lot. Mainly because they provide each other with very different, but also always very honest and objective perspectives. Jen reminds Alice to put herself first on occasion and Alice reminds Jen to give others the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

One day, the Kaplans asked to have coffee with the coven, which made Billy incredibly nervous. Mainly because Agatha wasn't making it easy in the slightest.

Sharon managed to save the day, against all odds. She took them to the side for a bit and comforted them, explaining that she herself is just a regular lady, but she's grown to love the others regardless. And so the Kaplans gave the coven a second chance and ended up finding them rather endearing despite their constant quarrels.

Rebecca Kaplan gets a private moment with Agatha. She tells her that she's sorry about Nicholas, and that she almost knows what that feels like, because she almost lost her son. Then there's a pause, and she adds, “... well, not almost, was it?” by herself. Because a mother always knows.

If it was about anything else, Agatha woulf have mocked her. She didn't. She looked at this woman who's lost her son, but can't mourn him, because he's right there with her—and she nodded empatheticaly. There they stood, two mothers of boys who died, filling the void in their hearts with Wanda's son. And they don't love him any less.

“I'm glad he has you ladies in his life. At first I was... Apprehensive, worried, I guess. But at least he has some people who can relate to him more, understand him, mentor him. Because his father and I—he needs more than what we can give him.” — “Well, you're doing something right. You've already given him the most valuable thing. And for that you are his parents, you always will be.”

When Rebecca Kaplan realises Alice is Lorna Wu's daughter she freaks out completely (since we know she was a fan, having gone to her last concert.) She hadn't made the connection before meeting her personally, despite hearing about her a lot from Billy.

The fake car that Agatha distractedly entered in the first episode was built by John Collins (Herb) at Sharon's request, as 'Agnes' had been trying to break into Sharon's car and use it for her crazy episodes. They got worried that she'd get herself hurt, so they made her the fake car to make sure she wouldn't leave her house.

[sturniolodreamz]

NSFW Alphabet - Chris Sturniolo

a/n - these are my personal opinions, you can respectfully disagree!

tags - @sturniol0z @ethereal-lovers @its-jennarose @angelic-sturniolos111

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He isn't always the best at aftercare, so he usually won't do things like run you a bath, but he makes sure you are okay, and then lots of cuddles.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Let's be real, this man loves his dick. He's also a huge ass guy, so he loves sneaking looks and grabbing your ass as he walks by.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man would love to cum inside you, but neither of you are ready for babies. Instead, he cums on your face or in your mouth, he loves to watch you swallow his load.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Long before you started dating, he was jerking off to your pictures, or even just the thoughts of what he wanted to do to you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's got a couple bodies on him. Nothing crazy, but he definitely knows what he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

DOGGY! We've all been saying this, he loved doggy, because he also loves your ass. He likes it even more if you are in front of a mirror, and he forces you to watch yourself getting fucked (and so he can still see your face.)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Some days he definitely likes to have fun with it, other days he means business and needs to get the job done.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it trimmed short, both yours and his preference.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He makes sure you know how loved and special you are to him, even during the most rough sex. He doesn't want you to think he is using you just for sex.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jerk off often, he'd rather you do it for him. But during desperate times, he jerks off to photos or thoughts of you. He refuses to watch porn and get pleasure from seeing another girl.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He even said it himself, he loves it when you call him daddy. He also likes choking you (with your consent). Other than that, he's not really a kinky guy unless there are things you want to try.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves the classic bedroom, but if he gets the chance in the shower, car, or even a public bathroom he won't say no.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

This man is always horny, so it doesn't take much to get him turned on. Just a little teasing from you and hes ready to do some very unholy things to you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything involving bodily fluids grosses him out, or anything involving hurting you (so no impact play or degradation).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes giving just as much as receiving. He definitely knows his way around the vagina if you know what I'm saying.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He strongly prefers sex on the faster/rougher side, but if you are having a bad day and just need some love he will go slow and gentle (ps, I have a fic ab this here !!)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's always down for a quickie if it means another round later where he can take his time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If there's something you want to try and it's not super out there he will give it a shot, but for the most part he likes to stick with what he knows.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go at least 2 rounds if you're up for it, but usually you guys stick to just one longer one.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He let's you use a vibrator on him every once in a while, but he prefers himself to make you feel good instead of a vibrator or dildo.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is the king of teasing, especially if you guys are in a public setting where you can't exactly sneak off together.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's actual more on the quiet side in terms of sounds, but he dirty talks in your ear constantly.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves to smoke weed with you (oops) before having sex, he says it makes the orgasm better.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is on the bigger side, long but not super girthy, just enough to fill you up in all the right ways.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As I said before, he is pretty much always shamelessly horny and will never say no to sex or a blowjob/handjob.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He gets pretty tired after he cums, which is why he prefers to have sex at night.

[peachjagiya]

https://x.com/kkookphoriiaa/status/1829638151029297417?s=46&t=NoNSkUCz0AjpyK3SPEWIXA

First of all it's crazy that jikookers are eating up what some random man says about the members when we've now heard from jikook themselves that they didn't even see each other during hiatus (but guess who did!). Besides that, ignoring how it's also wild to judge these things from one episode of a reality tv show, I think it's important to remember taekook are both introverts (as per their mbti video). Meanwhile, Jimin's an extrovert. I think Jimin can appear as super close to any of the members because of this quality. Taekook's introvertedness manifests in different ways at times but I think they both clearly have moments where they're more low energy, while I think Jimin's someone who's generally more high energy. I think Jimin's playfulness and touchiness with all the members also plays into this. Of course he's going to seem closer to the others if you have no other context and look at everything on the surface. It's just so annoying to see taekook labeled as awkward and distant time and time again, especially now when there's such clear proof that's not the case? I'm pretty sure taekook hung out the most out of any other pairing in BTS. Most people aren't making the effort to hang out with someone they're distant with and choosing to never meet up with someone they're much closer to. This narrative is just so tired and it sucks that it constantly gets regurgitated if taekook aren't all over each other 24/7, which I don't expect them to be. Some taekookers do this too to an extent. I just wish they could coexist peacefully without people thinking they hate each other lol. It's always the smallest things that are the most telling between them too. Tae playing songs and JK knowing them already, them both singing To Find You which we know JK sings to Tae, more often than not walking with each other throughout the show, constantly sitting beside each other, JK climbing to encourage Tae before he jumped because he knew he was scared, JK constantly mentioning Tae when he wasn't in the pool with him and Jimin, JK immediately going to give Tae and massage, also taking photos of him right when he wakes up, etc. Idk if this is controversial but I actually think jikook lack a lot of the softness taekook have.

No shade to that guy's opinion but...

It's literally just his opinion. 😂😂😂 I can't believe they're using it like "see?? Seeeee?"

(I also hope nobody is reporting him. Let him live. Who cares?)

Also I tend to tune out when someone says V. It's like a sign that the person is either a jikooker being obtuse or someone who has eaten only what they've been handed rather than going to see if there's anything better in the fridge.

(I know what I mean 😂 I might just be hungry.)

[l0sercat]

wesker for the nsfw alphabet plss

Y'all the amount of requests I have rn are crazy and I'm so fucking tired so I'm going to be slow to update and just do he asks I feel like doing so I dnt burn out. Hope y'all understand :')

Albert Wesker NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

There is aftercare if he has been rough. He will prepare a bath and get you whatever you need.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his eyes. They are just so cool and makes his look intimidating. And they always seem to make you shiver when they pierce you. He loves you ass. That's all I need to say.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn't like messes so he prefers to cum in you. Also because he wants to breed you..

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

You came to his work wearing a small skirt and it got him really distracted and hard. So when you left and he could slip away he jerked off. The image of you in that short tight skirt plagued his mind and he moaned our your name.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Hardly has experience but what he lacks in experience he makes up in confidence.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl but he's still dominant. Or doggy style. I can't pick 😮‍💨

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He more serious. What's so funny about sex?

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It's all nice and trimmed. What else did you expect a bush? No not from this god. Nothing is messy or sloppy. It perfect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He can be romantic. It usually is but sometimes it's not. He can be really sweet and gentle. It's kinda rare.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He hardly masturbates he just doesn't feel the need to.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He likes gags. Especially gag rings.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom. You guys have privacy and it's easier to breed you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you all dolled up for him. Seeing you in your best clothing and hanging onto his arm it's gets him going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Share you. You are his and his alone.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers to give. He just loves tasting you and having your juices coat his face.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It's depends. Most of the time the speed is n between fast and slow.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn't really like them. You don't have them that often. He prefers proper sex so he can properly breed you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He doesn't take a lot of risks and he's okay to experiment as long as it's not too risky or bad.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last for hours. With uroboros he has so much stamina.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He does not own toys he doesn't need to. He will never bring the into the bedroom. He has himself and his tentacles so toys are not needed.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease but doesn't do it a lot

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He grunts a lot and here and there he moans. If your sucking him off and catch him off guard he'll whine.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He likes to be edged. Idk why but I feel like he'd just love you to tease him back and try to take control.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's 8 inches long and 3 inches thick.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's not that high. But when he's horny oh boy...

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He waits till you fall asleep then he'll fall asleep a little after.

[student-in-nightraven]

hii, could i rq a matchup with anyone from obey me, twst or kamisama kiss? ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)

im a bi girl, 5'3, intp-t 4w5 + aquarius, id say im some kind of ambiverted like 60% awkward-reserved-anti-social introvert and 40% chaotic, rambly, all over the place, once i start i dont stop extrovert?? depends on my mood i think (˘∀˘) for some random traits i'm erratic, eccentric, conscientious, creative, empathetic, unserious, sarcastic, not a team player and definitely come across as strange to literally anyone not used to me

hmmmm some hobbies i have are baking, writing, editing and arts + crafts (drawing, painting, making my own random stuff like candles, soap, stickers) - very practical very fun 🧝‍♀️ i also like gaming when i have time which is basically always bc im lazy and hate work, i leave everything last minute and procrastinate so much bc i and i'd rather be doing what i want instead of boring stuff 😒👎 it all ends up rushed and low effort unless im passionate abt it. probably why i'm also never on time but that's also bc i love sleeping

if i had to pick a label for whatever my style's supposed to be {bc i just dress in whatever looks good tbh} i'd say a hybrid of grunge and indie maybe💪😘 i take pride in my dress sense actually i think its gojus (μ_μ)

i have collections/mini collections of a couple things - plushies, crystals, stickers, bracelets and i keep anything and everything people might give me, i've done it as long as i can remember, like not even gifts just if someone gives me a rock or a piece of stationery or origami etc it'll be in my possession forever i'm too sentimental to get rid of anything, i have so much scattered everywhere it's unfunny 🧍‍♀️ i think my love languages are physical affection bc i love closeness altho im crap with emotional stuff but words of affirmation and mushy fluffy stuff can be pretty neat {even if it's embarrassing and awkward xox} + gifts bc i love buying myself stuff and receiving presents, i also like giving them but i feel like i'm spending too little or too much or compare it to what they give back to me and feel like it's not good enough or what they'd want bc i'm usually either too stingy or spend too much and think too much + feel bad when it feels like i don't give back to people as much as they give to me in any sense?? | (• -•)|

i love purple, literature, rock/pop/dance/techno music, space, halloween, history, things that smell nice/scented stuff, philosophy, nature, horror, psychology, fantasy, sweet/sour/salty foods, and animals {especially my bunnies ofc, my pride and joy <3} so im working towards becoming a vet bc im good w science and i'd definitely rather look after them than humans bc i am not a people person i'd fail miserably xox

i don't like ppl who are ignorant or inconsiderate bc they're annoying and punchable, my family, the ocean bc it's scary and doing embarrassing stuff which tbh is basically everything smh

anyways i tried to condense whatever i could think of LMAO but i cba to do anymore 💀💌 thank u!!

The Kamisama requests always make me happy:')

I match you with..

..

...Mizuki!

The most gentle and sweet lover in the whole world.

He matches you like CRAZY, soulmates real;

Loves being chaotic with you, getting caught up in shenanigans and being lovey dovey with you;

He just randomly snuggles up to you whether it's in his snake form or human form, if snake form let's out occasional cute bloops that you die for, he also does the cute snake yawn, he knows it's cute and he's doing it on PURPOSE;

I hc that mizuki is great at portraits and has painting sessions with you in which you 2 paint in peace and show eachother the piece;

You teach him how to properly bake so that he doesn't drop lizards in almost everything you bake-

"but-but it's for good luck:("

"Mizuki, no"

He encourages you not wanting to work and lazes off with you, if for no reason Tomoe comes over he annoyingly comments on how as your familiar mizuki shouldn't encourage this but who listens to him;

Spends mornings sleeping in with you, if you have to go to school he'll just transform into his snake form and accompany you there!

Loves your collection of crystals and other things, so he finds the most beautiful crystals just for you♡

Loves your bunnies and cradles them in his hands, your basically a family, your bunnies have a dad now;

So in all he's the perfect match for you, the most peaceful and loveable relationship ♡⁠˖

Thank you for the request dear annon! May you have a wonderful week<3

[savefrog]

Dude the human body is crazy

That post about T giving you too much blood, and how thats a genetic condition passed down mainly through cis men (hemachromatosis). And how its a risk for going on T because someone can have inherited the gene but not know until going on T triggers the issues. I need to do more research, because I cant find a lot of information on how it reacts to T (besides it often resulting in lower T), but it almost looks like the body gets T and is like "Oh cool we're going dude mode now, heres that condition you were missing!"

Makes me think of how people who have had a hysterectomy can still experience the menstruation cycle even without a Uterus. Like PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps. And its hard to find research on because its a newly recorded phenomenon with a lot of bias against it, but trans women on E may also experience a monthly cycle (PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps) even without a Uterus as well. The body gets estrogen and is like "oh sick i know what to do with this! Pain!!!!!"

Like it really drives in how the human body is made of analogous structures. The reproductive system is all the same parts, just given different instructions. The clitoris can get erections! Hormones can change BONES even though its limited! (Horomonal changes also affect the bones during menopause for example, something archaeologists or forensic scientists can notice)

And speaking of, that whole thing about "when archaeologists see your skeleton THEN they will know" is bullshit! (ON SO MANY LEVELS)! Sex determination with bones is typically based on the measurement of literally ONE bone. And the field of archaeology has, for quite some time, acknowledged how innaccurate this can be. (And honestly, this assumption shows a lack of science knowledge in general, where in my experience researchers like to lean more towards "probably" rather than "definitely" when making ANY kind of assertion about something because there are ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS!)

Thanks to X-rays, we have classifications for different types of pelvis shapes. Do you know what may cause someone to have a C-section???? Having an Android (or "male-shaped") pelvis. Yes. A cis woman LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH, may have a pelvic shape that is labeled as having a masculine shape. AND IT IS NOT THAT RARE!!!! (A brief search says 20% of cis women)

But consider that people usually only get X-rays or other scans when absolutely needed. There could be so much more overlap that we arent even aware of. Things that are "rare instances" may not be that rare. We arent analyzing the dna of every person in existence, we only see what we are looking for and research has only just opened up past our cultural biases towards gender!

We know from studies of the brain that a lot of gendered assumptions (women are good at sorting colors because they were gatherers, etc) are not well-defined AT ALL. A lot of it may be learned during development. There are some stereotyped trends, but they're just small percentage trends such that its impossible to look at a brain and 100% say "yup thats male!", only at the most "well, statistically, its Slightly More Likely male" and still be very wrong. Exceptions are the NORM.

(And that whole evolutionary psychology thing of "women are better at colors because gatherers?"...based on what ancestors?!?!?!?!? Different groups of ancient people had different gender norms!!! There wasn't just one big caveman family for the entire paleolithic!!!! There are SO MANY recorded remains of what are most likely female hunters!!!!! Why would they not take advantage of having MORE HUNTERS during a hunting season?!?!!)

"Its simple biology" is quite possibly the most ignorant statement one can make, its a paradox. Biology is INHERENTLY complex, varied, and difficult to categorize. If you say it's simple even just for the sake of categorization, you are literally admitting to not knowing SHIT. Ask anyone into taxonomy. Categorizing animals seems easy if youve never actually done it, and meanwhile there are appparently heated debates on river dolphin teeth and whether or not river dolphins with no visible differences except slightly different teeth are different species or not. Birds are reptiles!!! Everything is a fucking fish!!!! Rigid thought based on societal bias is antithetical to science (though it has SURE affected science!)

Its that bias where the less you know about something, the easier you think it is. Someone may think they already know everything about a topic if they never actually researched it because they dont know whats out there. Whereas someone actually knowledgeable in that field KNOWS that its complicated and feels LESS like they know everything about it. Cis people who have never thought deeply about gender THINK it is simple because they lack any experience. They THINK its the same as they believed in preschool because they never challenged it - when everything else you learn in grade school is obviously simplified!!!

Its so blatantly apparent how little transphobes want to actually consider facts. Its all "just ask a biologist" until real biologists tell them its complex, then its "science is woke". They'll talk about gender all day and yet mock anyone actually studying it. It's all about rigid definitions, until someone tells them the literal definition of gender makes it seperate from sex. They pretend to care so much about the literal definitions of words and what you can and can't call something due to biology...but still call a seastar a "starFISH".

The WORLD is amorphous! Words are merely tools! Biology hates rigid categorization! EXCEPTIONS ARE THE NORM! live your damn life!

[sophietv]

I like your latest post intricately explaining the LSK secret family theory and such even though I'm not thoroughly convinced yet, simply because in my gaylorism playbook I put lyric analysis above everything and I believe her art and her words in melodies and songs are the ones that conveys her story in it's most truthful sense before any hints shown through clothing items or merch etc (even though they are very interesting & convincing too I must say). That is how I got into gaylorism and how I could connect to her artistry and songs as a lesbian even when PR news publications and the general public all reports about her as this boy-crazy straight woman, I knew it's not true because her songs paint this unique specific experience that gay/lesbian women go through so I believe in that more rather than some staged pap walks of her with some random famous man.

Now the question is that, so many songs in evermore and midnights talk about Taylor fearing and not wanting the marriage and family model in all it's varieties, especially the system of lavender marriage itself. One song even explicitly states how she's annoyed at being pressured into it. The daughter-in-law line in anti hero feels more like a confirmation of her fear of family to me and for Peace, I saw it more as a contemplation with herself if lavender marriage/family is something that she wants (which she then answers in lavender haze, midnight rain, champagne problems, antihero, dear reader, etc).

If theres any late stage theory between Kaylor I see it more as taylor being an outsider looking in through karlie's domestic life and being on good terms/supportive to her, and I do believe they are love of each other's lives, they'll never forget each other and they'll keep referencing each other etc etc but they also recognized they wanted different things in life (Midnight Rain, I personally think this song finalizes and marks the end of any possibility of them getting back together).

All these songs in evermore and midnights painting this picture of taylor being alone and a pariah with self loathing and feeling sorry and guilty and melancholic about her old love that is doing good creates this perception in my head that when an LSK says they both are in a happy family raising a child together it felt like all those time in 2020-2021 when toes/hetlors were trying to convince everyone taylor is in a stable happy longlasting relationship while in contrast she writes 2 albums about a disastrous falling out and a damn near divorce.

However, I do try to keep an open mind and there are some songs in midnights that could point towards the secret family theory of LSK, such as the great war, bigger than the whole sky, sweet nothing, labyrinth and glitch but idk. The sadder songs about her being alone and rejecting the family model, being a pariah, etc feels more real to me. I guess if ts11 is coming I'll know for sure when it drops. P.S: I do think that random "mom! " voice over in Dear Reader is sus as hell. Perhaps the one thing I cant get my mind off.

Oh and also if we get into any kind of LSK stuff, what are your thoughts about the two of them coming out, either alone or together? We all know 2019 taylor wanted to come out, some say karlie was also in the picture but there was lack of evidence for it I think? In Midnight Rain it says that K wanted it "comfortable", which explains marrying her beard of 7 years while T is the opposite of that, to which I believe that she'll keep dropping hairpins untill the time comes where she'll do some grand dramatic thing, maybe in the long future. I just wanna your thoughts if T or K ever decides to come out, how will it all unfold?

Hi!

Thank you for your questiond!!

I see what you are saying.

And you are not the only one. The songs are a big part of why people question LSK.

Since it's a really long and complicated answer. I already wrote a post about it here: (X)

This post about my reflexion on why I still believe in Kaylor and my thoughts about them having a family off of the public eye might help as well (X)

I don't believe that Taylor was gonna come out with Karlie in 2019. Whatever happened there seem to have had a change of plan made toward May to exclude Karlie of this.

I don't believe that this was either Karlie's or Taylor's choice.

So in 2019 when she was to come out, I believe she would have come out as bi with Joe by her side.

As for now.

Tree seems to be working really hard toward the reconcialliciation narrative.

Especially since Karlie went to the Eras Tour.

So I believe there is chances that if Taylor comes out. She does so with Karlie by her side.

Hope this answers your questions!

Don't hesitate if you have any other!

[sunshinelulusplatoon]

4 months ago:

“YOUR MOTHER IS GOING TO KRILL ME!!!” Lutarna shouted, “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?”

“Look, you wanted help, I’m here to help,” Jr. huffed.

“WE COULD BE GONE FOR DAYS!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE ARE ABOUT TO WALK INTO,” Lutarna continued shouting, “YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON I WANT IN FRONT LINES IF ANYTHING HAPPENS.”

Jr. sighed.

“Grandpa found out about the project,” Jr. spoke.

Lutarna blinked.

“What?” Lutarna finally spoke.

“Grandpa found out about the project and told Sako to shut it down. I wanted to see you one last time,” Jr. sighed.

Tentacles drooping, Lutarna had a pain expression. She knew this would come sooner or later but she figured later than now. Scratching her tentacles, it took her a while to speak; Jr. crossing his arms in the process.

“Fine,” Lutarna finally sighed, “You can come. But no wandering off and no individual investigations.”

“Fair enough,” Jr. replied.

Coming over, Lutarna ruffled Jr. tentacles; getting a chuckle out of him.

“You’re curious like me. I don’t need you getting into things,” Lutarna chuckled.

“Yes Mom,” Jr. replied with sarcasm.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sako has done some crazy carp before but time travel?” Joey questioned.

“One of his, one purpose, turned into another by accident projects. Sako was trying to work on the big camera again and accident crossed some wire work and mechanics and well, found out how to time travel. We were asked to test things out after Sako tossing smaller objects through and pulling them back through; mostly cameras. Images showed things he knew were from years ago which gave him excitement to keep going,” Jr. explained, “Though Grandpa found out and doesn’t want the pass to be tampered with so he’s shutting things down.”

“How long have you been hopping?” Pixe asked.

“Few years now. I mostly just hang on turf wars, or around the metro to pester Mom,” Jr replied.

“Pester he says,” Lutarna joked.

“I’m surprised you allow this,” Lulu huffed, “And didn’t even tell me.”

“I was hesitant at first with him coming around, but he kept showing up so I gave in,” Lutarna sighed, “Though I set grown rules. No going to Gideon, no going to your aunt or other family. Them knowing could have major consequences. Only other person I know of that knows about him is T. You don’t say who you really are. If anybody asks, you lie.”

“Lulu would have probably bragged about her nephew if she knew,” Marcy chuckled.

“HEY!” Lulu huffed.

“Eh, she’s got a point. Gramps probably wouldn’t have been happy knowing either,” Joey commented.

“Yeah, Joey’s right. I doubt Grandpa would have kept his mouth shut too,” Marie replied, “And Callie would have been 20 million questions.”

“He’s from the future. I’m curious,” Callie squealed.

“My point,” Marie sighed.

“How did T find out?” Pixie questioned.

“I saw him on the karts. I know my uncle, he would have figured it out quick without me saying anything as mom was around that day, so I was just honest,” Jr. replied sheepishly as he scratched his cheek.

“Well, he’s here to help and we’ll probably need all the ink power we can get. Alright folks, tomorrow morning, we set out for Mars,” Joey commented.

“RIGHT CAPTAIN,” all The Squidbeaks and Jr. called out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You are still an overpacker,” Jr. joked.

“I don’t know how long we will be gone and I rather have as much as we need,” Lutarna replied.

Having come home, Lutarna went on a spree of packing things she though they needed; medical supplies, clothes, shoes, blankets, towels, etc.

Jr. shrugged before coming over to help. Folding things up and handing them to her, they filled a few suitcases up; both bouncing on the last one to make it shut.

“Have you ever been out in space,” Lutarna asked once done as they were heading downstairs.

“No, never. Grandpa was more interested in the deep sea base than exploring space. It’s only in the last year or so that Sako got Grandpa to think about it,” Jr. replied as he held onto Beethoven.

“So this will be a first for you. We didn’t go to far out when fighting Grizz. It was interesting. So many stars around us. But Mars. I don’t know what to expect,” Lutarna spoke as she started to make a meatloaf.

“Do you really think there are humans on Mars?” Jr asked.

Lutarna was quite for a moment before replying.

“I don’t know.”

[riverscuomoscumsock]

top surgery with reformkliniken

hi! I got top surgery with Reformkliniken in Malmo about 6 months ago, when I was planning the surgery I could find barely anything about specifically transmascs getting top surgery there, so I have written out a comprehensive review of my experience, hope this helps :3

making an appointment

the email replies are terrible, I would be waiting 3-4 days for a response, sometimes getting no response all. poor communication in general. After a few emails and calling them a couple times, I was able to secure a date! Had to pay the full surgery fee a month before. The surgery alone was 42,000 krona which is roughly 3,600 euro — Dr Tuve did say the price was raising, but because that was the price I was quoted I was able to pay the original price.

traveling to malmo

If you're from Sweden ignore this, but I made the miserable journey from Dublin to Goteborg to Malmo which is like 7 hours all together and unnecessary. If you're flying in you’re better off flying to Copenhagen and getting the train to Malmo, cheaper and faster.

consultation

The clinic was easy to find! Like a 5 minute walk from the bus stop. Interior was very fancy and clean which was comforting, got checked in with Victoria the receptionist who I had spoken to on the phone, she's very sweet ^^

My appointment was for 3:30 and I ended up getting called in at nearly 4 which isn't shocking for a drs appointment but make sure to block out your day for the consultation.

Dr Tuve himself was not exactly the most comforting person to meet for the first time about such a big surgery. When it was time for him to actually look at my chest to talk about what I wanted done with the surgery, he stood over me while I got undressed rather than giving me a bit of privacy, lifted and touched my breasts without asking at all. I know this is all to be expected because in less than a week he will be performing surgery on me, but a bit of forewarning because it definitely caught me off guard.

Non swedes !! I don't know if they normally have a translated pamphlet but the pamphlet I was given was in Swedish and also very clearly just given to everyone getting surgery, not specifically for a mastectomy. I was given a very basic English mastectomy paper after surgery about what meds I’d be on, don’t lift your arms, etc. But I would’ve preferred to have more explained to me before the surgery. (Not a huge deal, there is lots of info about recovery online, still weird)

night before operation

had to take a thorough 10 minute shower according to the pamphlet where I let the soap soak my chest and shaved any hair around the area, also had to take an antibiotic with a meal in the evening, to not eat after midnight.

surgery!!

My appointment was at 7am! I came in, answered some questions (height/weight/allergies/etc) with the really sweet secretary in the waiting room. Then I got taken to my room which I shared with another trans patient, which was comforting. I had to take a shower with antibacterial soap and change into a robe and slippers.

After my shower I was given pain killers, anti-inflammatories and anti histamine (I think??) with a glass of lemonade to take. Dr Tuve then took me to his office to get the surgery markings drawn on me and get before pictures taken of me (ngl I hated this so I’m sure you’re able to ask not to, but I was caught off guard and went with it which is my fault, not blaming him)

After I got my markings I waited in the room while my roommate got their surgery, just napped atp. Then my nurse Feannette came and gave me an injection and hooked me up to the IV. She had some trouble with it so it was a bit sore but nothing crazy — she was also very sweet and went on about how lovely it was that i was taking this big step for myself n all which was very cute.

Then Frederick the anesthetist came and asked me some questions and explained how the anesthesia and everything would work. After that, I was brought in to the operating room, and the nurses talked me through everything and slowly started preparing me for surgery while I went under (my biggest fear was waking up during surgery or them starting before I was under but I was completely conked out) I woke up two hours later with very minimal pain and was back in my room.

My biggest complaint is I was previously told through email that I would be able to stay overnight at the hospital if I wanted, which I would've preferred because they had a proper bed for sleeping upright, as well as having nurses available if I had any problems. It was also written in the leaflet they gave me. When me and the other person getting top surgery asked to stay overnight though we were refused and left exactly 4 hours after after our surgery. I had a friend collect me from the hospital and looking after me, but this part is still wild 2 me.

recovery!

I was prescribed oxynorm and paracetamol (pain + antibiotics) for my recovery, I got a bunch of different pain meds!

Dr Tuve doesn’t use drains for his surgeries, this was something we disagreed on but I ultimately trusted him with because he’s the expert. I did end up with a huge seroma that messed up my nipple on that side for a while (she’s good now, but the other side healed way faster than the seroma side) This isn’t to scare anyone but just to give full disclosure, in the end I’m glad I didn’t get drains because it would’ve been a huge headache to travel with, I didn’t have to get them removed and basically could get on with my life when I got home, but I think it’s a very important note. I wish he fully explained to me the possibility of a seroma and what not using the drains would entail. He did tell me that not using drains is cleaner, which makes sense. But the lack of explanation still bothers me.

Also, in the pamphlet they gave me, they didn’t really explain taking care of the area after surgery, such as massaging the scars later on in recovery to avoid tissue build up etc. They also didn’t leave instructions for my local GP who ended up taking out the stitches in my nipples. (I don’t really fault them for this though because I’m sure most patients would get everything done at the same clinic they got the surgery at)

I am currently 6 months post op and I’m very happy with my chest! The placement of everything is perfect, I got a double incision and a nipple graft and everything seems very symetrical to me and I’m a lot more confident in my body now. I was very very worried about my chest looking dopey since I’m chubby and didn’t want my chest to look concave compared to my belly (which I explained to Dr Tuve) and I’m super happy with the results!

Overall, I’m really happy with my experience, I think their communication could be a LOT better, which is one of the main things to make someone feel safe when they’re getting surgery, however I do believe they’re all experts in the end, even if the communication isn’t great. The main reason I chose them was because it was in Europe and budget friendly! Hope this helps someone or at least give an idea of what to expect when getting top surgery :D

[unfinshedsentec]

ACCUSATIONS—RYUSEI SATOU

a/n: I got mixed opinions on fluff or angst sooo…hurt/comfort!

Enjoyyyy <3

reader is gender neutral! And Ryusei might be a little ooc

character pairing: ryusei satou x reader

tw: cursing, fighting/arguments, mentions of cheating/cheating accusations, jealousy, etc.

Isn't funny how subjective time is? How in the best moments time seems to fly by so quickly you could close your eyes the moment would be over. And how in the worst moments, time drags on for what seems like forever. For one person, 5 minutes might seem like a piece of cake, but for another it's an eternity. And right now, those 5 minutes seemed to be a lifetime for you.

"C'mon Y/n! Quit pretending like I'm some sort of fool! I see the way you look at him, the way you smile at him. I know you love him!", Ryusei yelled, getting angrier by the moment. The rain that already ran down his face seemed to run down faster as he harshly breathed. His hair was pressed up against his seemingly happy, glowing skin, but his furious eyes told a completely different story.

To think, that this was just supposed to be a casual after-school date. That you were supposed to be a normal lovey-dovey couple for an afternoon. That you were going to finally be fight-free. But of course, you had to say goodbye to a friend, and of course Ryusei didn't like seeing you with said friend.

He never does. He loves all your other friends, just not him. There's always a problem with him.

"I'm not fucking with you Ryusei! Goddammit, when will you realize he's just a friend?! When will it click in that little head of yours that I love you and only you!" you huff, continuing to walk. Ryusei however did not follow.

"That doesn't explain why you always ask him for help on homework and stuff! That doesn't explain why you look so much happier with him than me! That doesn't explain why you look at him like how you used to look at me!" he spoke, disgusted.

"Wha-" you began, baffled at his distrust towards you. "You're crazy!"

"I'm crazy?! You're the one whose cheating!" he screamed, pure rage on his face.

His eyes were darker, darker than they ever had been before. His face was unbelievably tense, so tense it concerned you. In a way it scared you especially because you could tell that he truly believed every word he said. He really thought you were cheating, despite you showing nothing but complete and utter loyalty towards him. On the flip side, you were enraged. How could he even accuse you of that?! You who would sacrifice your life for his in a heartbeat. You who would rather die that betray him.

How could he ever think otherwise?!

"How many times do I have to tell you he's a friend. F. R. I. E. N. D!" you screamed in return. Your throat burned from the yelling, and your body slowly began to give out. You were tired, tired of everything. You just wanted this to end. But it really didn't seem it would end anytime soon.

"I don't believe that bullshi-"

"I don't care what you believe! I'm done talking about this! Clearly, I can't change your mind so I'm not going to try. If you truly have absolutely no trust in me to the point where you can't stand seeing me with him, then maybe..." you shook, casting a downward gaze just at the thought. "Maybe..."

"Maybe we should split and you can date him instead." You froze replaying his words in your head. You didn't want to believe he meant what he said, but he did. You knew he did. Although Ryusei was usually a fun, loving guy, at times he could be as hardheaded as can be. Not only that, but sometimes he let the anger get the best of him, and that was exactly what was happening right now.

"Ryusei...no" you mumbled, facing him again. "Y-you don't mean that"

"I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm done." At that, Ryusei turned his back towards you and walked away. The air thickened with coldness and betrayal. Even as he mumbled a final goodbye, his voice stayed ice cold.

"R-ryusei! Ryusei stop playing around!" you yelled, sobbing. "T-this isn't funny! Ryusei!" You felt your heart pang in a way you had never felt before. You had dreaded this moment ever since you started fighting but you never imagine it would happen. You practically felt your heart shatter into pieces as he just walked away, walked away from it all.

You desperately wanted to chase after him and beg him to stay. You wanted to try to work things out again, but he knew he was too dense and angry to listen. There was no way to get through that thick skull of his. All you could do was sob and walk the other way. After all, this was his choice. He was the one to give up the relationship you cherished so much.

It was his loss, after all.

----------------------------------------

The next couple of weeks were grueling. You'd see him, in the halls, in class, going to lunch. You'd see him laughing with other people as if nothing happened. You'd even see him flirting with other people, yet there was nothing you could do except look to the ground and pretend you saw nothing. You acted like he was a ghost, when deep down he was anything but that.

You cried everything, looking thought old pictures of him, reminiscing on the happy moments. You'd cry so hard you fell asleep. You'd cry so hard you couldn't breathe.

People asked you what made you so tired, so depressed, but you just couldn't answer. It was a terribly petty situation that you didn't want to admit to happening. So, you just told them you didn't want to talk about it. Even some of his nicer friend came to check up on you, but you'd just tell the same thing.

"It's nothing"

The only one you had told little about what happened was Baji, but that was because there was no denying Baji. He would find out one way or another. And once he did, he was not happy.

"Ryusei!" Baji yelled stopping Ryusei in his tracks. As usual, he gave his normal smile to Baji and acted as if everything was fine, when Baji knew it was the exact opposite.

"What's up Keisuke?" Ryusei smiled, waving.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Baji yelled, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "Why the hell would you break up with them?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Oh please, you can't lie to me. Y/n told me!" he yelled, shaking him. "And y'know what's sad?! The fact that I had to be the one to comfort them and tell them everything would be alright. The fact that I was there for them instead of you is just sad. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Wha-"

"Are you a fucking idiot?! All they do is love you. They do nothing else but that, but all you do is whine about how they don't!! Don't you think if they didn't love you, they'd be with someone else?!"

"I-i..." Rysuei was speechless. He knew he could be ignorant, blind at times, but he didn't realize just how blind he had been. He didn't know how he couldn't see just how in love you both were. You were without a doubt the best thing to happen to him, yet he took you for granted and let you go just like that. You did nothing but give your best and he did nothing but accuse you.

"They're on the rooftop" Baji began, letting his collar go. "You should hurry before their gone for good"

Without a moments waste, Ryusei ran towards you. He ran as fast as he could, and then possibly pushed his legs to go faster. He panted, running up flights of stairs, yet he didn't stop. All he could think about was you, your beautiful face, and how he wanted nothing more than to be with you again; to hug you again.

And as he reached the double doors leading up to the roof top, his mind blurred with all those happy memories. He could only pray you would forgive him, pray that you'd forgive his stupidity. And as he opened the double doors and yelled your name. His heart stopped.

The bright afternoon sun shone on you, making you look almost ethereal. It made him realize just how beautiful you were, just how lucky he was to have you. He couldn't help but smile when he saw you look back at him, yet his heart stopped at the tear drop running down your face. He did that, and he felt nothing less than terrible for it.

"H-hey" he mumbled, approaching you. His hands shook from the anxiety, but he still pushed forward, determined to get you back.

"Hey" you replied, looking away. "What're you doing here?"

"Just um..." he began, messing with his hair. "I need to talk to you"

"Alright. Go on"

Ryusei walked over to you, sighing. He wasn't sure where to begin, but he had to begin somewhere. "Look, Y/n...I" he began, his hands shaking. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I was such a fucking idiot...I-i I don't know what I was thinking. You're so supportive and sweet and loyal. You're everything I ever could've wished for. I don't know why I did it, I had no reason too. And after Baji yelled at me, I felt worse."

Ryusei then, took your hand forced you to look at him. His dark teary eyes met yours and he knew right there and then that you were the one for him; no one else but you was.

"I-im so sorry! I'm sorry for being so stupid, for not listening to you, for making you cry.... for b-breaking up with you. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so stupid...I'm sorry-"

Suddenly, Ryusei felt himself get cut off. A warm, familiar feeling spread throughout out his body as your lips met with his. His shaky hands pulled you closer, as close as he possibly could. He was afraid to let you go; he was afraid of ever letting you go. Even pulling away from the kiss was painful.

"S-so, do you-"

"I just needed an apology", you said, smiling at him. "But if you do that again, I'll kill you"

Ryusei laughed, before pulling you closer. "I'd like to see you try <3"

At that, everything seemed to be fixed. You were Ryusei's, and Ryusei was yours. That was something that would never change, you were sure of it.

After all, Ryusei was your happily ever after~

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated <33

[just-some-random-blogger]

Professional Boundaries IV | Final:

Happily Ever After

Stray Kidz CEO!Bang Chan x Secretary!Reader & CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Secretary!Reader | Part 1 2 3 4 Summary: You’re pretty sure the only reason why you agree to visit Chan’s son is because of Chan’s son, and not… Chan. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Typos, Parent AU, CEO AU, fluff, angst, reader is Jisung’s brother so she is a Han okay, jealousy, slow burn, pining, lots of pining, mentions of exes and broken families, typos, etc.

A/N: I did it, I wrote the final part! HASHFOASAJ:O

I'm tagging miss @mostlycompetentwriter one last time just because i love her <3

@ec12 @linours @hoe4cb97 @is-nochu , @hyunjun-jpeg @p0t4t0don14ll @drrramaaaqweeen @lolalee24 it took so long im very sorry T_T

"What?" I mutter, looking at Hyunjin as if he told me he was secretly a werewolf.

Hyunjin runs his hands through his hair and looks away. He looks back at me and repeats, slowly, as if he was explaining something to a child that couldn't possibly understand something so complex, "the day you told me about how stupid your ex Seungmin was... I realized... I was in so irrevocably in love with you."

"That's a big word."

Hyunjin doesn't laugh.

I feel my breath hitch, "Hyunjin... I broke up with Seungmin on the in our first sem of our second year in college."

"Do you honestly think I don't know that?"

I look at him in silence for a moment.

"I-" Hyunjin speaks, "I don't feel like I'm a rich, spoiled brat, or the CEO of a corporation when I'm with you. I feel... my palms sweat when you fix my tie, and I feel like my eat is being eaten out every time you smile at guys like CEO Bang."

I shake my head and feel my throat constrict in vexation. I suddenly started to feel like I've been played, like I've been duped. Did he really hire me because I was good at what I do- no, did he really hire me because I was his friend, or did he hire me because he thought he'd end up with me.

I wanted to accuse him for so many things for the tactless admission that came out of the blue, but instead I ask, "why did you never tell me?"

Hyunjin looks like he wants to roll back into his shell, "you swore off dating after your break-up."

I suddenly find myself digging my fingers into the roots of my hair, "and you rather chose to suffer in silence?"

"I-"

"Hyunjin, this is why your dad watches you like you're a toddler who can't walk. You speak when you shouldn't and stay silent in times you should."

"Why are you bringing up my dad all of a sudden?" he shakes his head, "this has nothing to do with that and everything to do with how I notice how you tense up sometimes when I say something, and how you smile softly when I compliment you genuinely."

Suddenly, I feel wounded, like my deepest darkest secrets were spilled into the open.

I start to feel defensive, like I should punch him in the throat and leave, like I should quit on impulse and move to another city, like I should tell him I hate his guts for making me someone like his parents to him. He had a hard time because of in growing up because of how out of touch he was with his parents, and when he began to realize what he should do to fix that, he chose to suffer in silence out of duty and respect.

For all the meals he missed during lunch because of this, I wanted nothing more than to shout to the rooftops, "HYUNJIN WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU!" I wanted to badly to go to one of their stupidly tall buildings and scream like a crazy person, "HYUNJIN WANTS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS! STOP MAKING HIM DO EXTRACURICULAR ACTIVITIES HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE AND EAT DINNER WITH HIM!"

And yet, now, he's making me realize, for all I know I could be the reason why he skipped lunch some days.

My breathing begins to grow heavy. My throat begins to tighten and I feel all sorts of frustrated that I don't even know what to say anymore.

"Don't you dare deny it," Hyunjin mutters sharply. It sounds like a plead, and yet it stings.

I grip my hands and turn away from him, feeling tears prick in the corner of my eyes.

Hyunjin watches me. He begins to grow frustrated in his own right. Frustrated that his feelings weren't instantly reciprocated, scared that all the things he said might truly have been in his head, worried that you might burst in to tears, angered that you were the won at the brink of tears when it should be him.

"Say something," Hyunjin mutters, he releases a breath and feels his own eyes begin to water, "please." He hates how vulnerable he suddenly feels. He roughly scratches his eyes.

"I don't know what to say..."

Hyunjin feels defeated.

For a moment we just stand there.

A thousand different things run through my mind.

Hyunjin inhales deeply then exhales, "then don't say anything." He shuts his eyes then falls into a blank expression when he opens them, "why don't we just... call it a day."

"What?" I get snapped back into reality.

Hyunjin tenses when he sees my expression, "I-"

"You have a pitch in two-"

"I don't care," he blurts, raising a hand to silence me. He inhales then shudders, "in hindsight, maybe I am just a spoiled rich boy that wants to get everything he wants-"

"Hyunjin,"

"Let's call it a day," he dismisses, walking past me, "I'll personally see to my schedule for today, you may leave, Ms. Han."

I replay that scene over and over in my head as I walk out the building. I barely have the wits to smile at the guard who greeted me on my way out.

I sluggishly made my way to the sidewalk, trying to sift through whether or not I feel betrayed or sorry. I suddenly wish it would rain so hard so I would get swept up and wind up in the ocean.

I watch as my shimmering shoes click against the ground.

My phone begins to vibrate in my bag. I knit my brows and think to ignore it, but decide to answer it anyway.

By the time I pull out my phone and answer the call, an out of breath man stops in front of me, startling me out of my dazed state.

Bang Chan in his suit and golden retriever smile that reached ear to ear takes in two deep breaths as he speaks to his phone on his ear, "you're here already?"

His voice echoes on the other line and begins to create static. I pull the phone away, suddenly remembering I had plans with him for lunch, "Chan, you're early."

He smiles bigger, and pulls the phone away ending the call, "I am but so are you. I literally just got here and was planning to play some games on my phone when you suddenly walked out."

Chan turns away, placing his hands behind his back, "I suppose Mr. Hwang let you have lunch early today."

I don't say anything. Chan knits his brows at this, lips falling into a pout, "is everything alright?"

I turn to him after he says this. The look of concern on his face suddenly reminds me of Dohyun and his concerned look whenever one of his classmates were not in a good mood. I then begin to think Chan is such a good dad for raising his son to be like that. Then I begin to think of Hyunjin and how much he would have loved his own dad to be as caring as Chan.

But then I thought of how angry- no, jealous, Hyunjin is around Chan and suddenly I feel like puking.

"Chan, I-" I start but break into a sigh, "I'm really sorry to do this, but can we do a raincheck on our lunch today?"

I'm surprised by what he says.

"Okay. Let me drive you home."

I don't really get a say in it when suddenly he grabs my hand and pulls me away.

Hyunjin's eyes water in anger and hurt when he sees this. He turns away and shudders, thinking he did not have to see that on his way home.

The drive is silent and arduous because of the traffic. We barely even made it a block away from my office because of how many cars there were in the road. What did I expect though, it was the lunch rush.

Chan moves then brakes again. I turn to him as he rests his left elbow on the door and scratches his lips with his pointer. I begin to feel sorry for making him come here for nothing.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Chan turns to me and hums, knitting his brows, shaking his head, "no, no, no. There's nothing to apologize for."

"But I'm basically standing you up."

He breaks into a smile, "nah. You're right here next to me. That's the exact opposite of being stood up."

"... ... but aren't you at least... curious as to why I'm not up for lunch anymore."

He offers me a look he's offered Dohyun many, many times. My stomach swirls at the sight of it, "if you wanted to tell me, you would've told me by now."

I turn away from him and grip my hands, trying to will the butterflies in my stomach away.

Chan is finally able to drive off as the road begins to clear a bit.

It was kind of a joke when my stomach suddenly growled like a tiger. I have never felt more embarrassed than at that moment when Chan whipped his head to me in concern.

"I-"

"Hungry?" Chan says, breaking into a smile.

"You're acting as if I can deny it," I rebut, making him laugh. He makes a face and chuckles, "I'll let you deny it. I'll cover my ears for the rest of the drive."

"I would rather you keep your hands on the wheel."

He laughs, "yes ma'am."

I turn to him but then look away when I see he was already looking at me. I feel my cheeks burn when he chuckles again and asks, "do you want to get some drive through."

I turn to my lap, scoffing to myself, "I couldn't possibly."

"Of course you can," Chan replies, "look, I see a-"

"Why don't we just-" I blurt, making Chan's words fall short, "go to wherever you planned to take me."

His brows quirk, "really? Are you sure?"

I nod.

The next thing I know, I'm cooing over some photos of Chan and his son on his phone. He lovingly explained how Dohyun had been getting into drawing and how he made so many truck drawings to send in the mail to his friends at school, and to Chan's friends.

We had already finished eating ages ago but we hadn't left the table we were stationed on at all.

In the comfortable silence in between our conversations, I suddenly blurt out, "he confessed to me."

Chan turns to me, silent.

"Hyunjin. He said he liked me long before my ex did and realized he was in love with me after I got my hear broken."

Still, Chan says nothing.

"I... I don't know how I feel though. He told me I... I freeze up sometimes around him, and I smile... but I don't... I don't know."

I turn to the table as I prop my elbows up, "I... I somehow resent him for telling me like this."

I shake my head and run my hands through my hair, "I know I'm crazy for it but-"

"You're not."

I turn to him with furrows brows.

Chan examines my expression, "you're not crazy for feeling resent."

"..."

"If my best friend confessed to me because, I assume, they didn't want me to go have lunch with someone that likes them, I'd feel resentful too."

Blood rushes up my neck when he says this.

"That was similar to what happened, I guess?"

I nod.

Chan sighs, "It's not the same, but Changbin told me we should get married to spite my ex."

I can't help but knit my brows at how preposterous that sounds.

"Somehow, I feel like the only person I'd spite if I did that was myself, you know. It's like I'd be stuck with Changbin for the rest of my life when I don't even like him like that, y'know."

I break into a chuckle. Chan suddenly seems satisfied with himself, "I digress. That literally has nothing to do with what you're talking about."

"I- If I'm being completely honest," I start and look into Chan's calm eyes. I think I like you more than him, y'know. You speak your mind. You know what you want. You don't wait around. You're clear with your intentions. You're a great dad, plus you look really hot in a suit. But Hyunjin... he's held my hand and stood up for me when no one has. He gave me a job, for goodness sake, and he pretends he buys me shoes for his sake when we both know he says that so I don't feel bad.

I sigh and turn away. That's horrible. I can't say that.

"I don't know how I feel about it. On one side, I feel angry, but on the other side, I... I feel like I... I want to run to his side and hug him."

Fuck. That was still really horrible.

"Then be angry and run to his side."

I turn to Chan, as if he asked me to fly.

"Tell him how you feel, even if it doesn't make sense, then make sense of it together."

I knit my brows and shake my head, "but I..."

Chan raises his brows.

"I don't want to hurt him?"

"Why would that hurt him?"

"Because... what if I don't like him the way he likes me."

"Well do you?"

"I don't know..."

"Whatever the truth is, it shouldn't hurt, because it is what it is and it'll come out either way."

I turn away from him and chuckle, "is this what you tell Dohyun."

"Sometimes. Most of the time, it's him who actually reaffirms my beliefs." He clears his throat, "and I hate to be that guy, especially when I've made my own feelings known to you, but I honestly don't know think you would be scared that you don't like him if you actually do like him, you know."

In a moment of clarity, I begin to recount my recent encounters with Hyunjin. He's right.

Chan releases a breath, "but what do I know? Maybe my own feelings are getting ahead of myself."

Hyunjin is in front of my door when Chan drives me home after that.

The atmosphere is thick and tense when Hyunjin and Chan meet eye to eye, Hyunjin straightens up from the wall he was leaned on.

I turn from him to Chan, not knowing what to do.

"I don't know why I'm here, but I'm here," Hyunjin says, catching my eyes.

My heart clenches at the sight of his dampened face.

Chan purses his lips and steps towards me, making the conscious decision to just leave without saying anything else, "right. I'll be going now."

I don't get to reply because he's already walking away after that.

I turn back to Hyunjin, who looks like he's about to burst into a million pieces.

I motion to my door, "do you want to come in?"

Hyunjin is sat on bed when he admits, "it was honestly pretty douchey of me to tell you what I did the way I did."

I, who sat next to him, shake my head, "at least you finally got it out, right? It must have felt good."

"Not really," he replies, "if I could go back, I'd throw myself out of the window to stop it from ever happening."

"Hyunjin," I turn to him.

He sighs, "look..." he looks at me with pleading eyes, "I don't... I don't want to lose you. It's obvious things will never be the same, but I don't want you to quit. I'll do anything to fix it."

"Hyunjin, no one said anything about quitting."

He scoffs, "you forget. I know you. You probably wanted to hide under your covers after hearing what I wanted to say." He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, "ironic how I can say that so confidently yet held my tongue for so long."

I audibly gasp when Hyunjin says, "you like Chan, don't you? He turns to me then chuckles lowly, "don't act surprised. You looked like you were ready to risk it all for him when his ex came waltzing in his launch party."

I stare at him. Hyunjin huffs then shakes his head, "I suppose it's my curse for lingering around you too long, knowing how you feel better than even you."

"Hyunjin."

He turns to me, saying my own name, which nearly makes goosebumps grow on my skin.

"I... I don't know how I feel."

He turns to his lap and nods, "does that mean I'll... be going to work tomorrow alone?"

"No, I wouldn't do that to you."

He sighs and nods his head, "I'm good with that for now."

He stands and turns to me, raising a hand, "see you tomorrow then?"

"I..." I stand and raise my hand, "see you tomorrow."

Tomorrow, that day, was not a very productive day. In fact, the next few days were not very productive for either of us. I knew we couldn't keep going like this, so I tried to gather my thoughts as much as I could and did what Chan told me to do, tell him everything, even if it didn't make sense.

In all fairness, even though I told him, I don't know if I like him or if I like Chan, or if I like anyone, it really helped create a bridge between us.

It was still pretty gradual, how we fell into our bickering and jokes, but it felt right, it wasn't forced and it wasn't fake. Everyday, I felt better that Hyunjin and I felt like we were getting closer rather than drifting apart.

And I couldn't help but share this happiness of mine, though it was mine, to Bang Chan.

I hesitated so much. I knew it was somehow twisted to confide in him, but it came out naturally since he was the one that asked me about it. He messaged me a few days after our lunch and one text led to another and then I found myself telling him everything I did with Hyunjin, everything I did at work, and every boring detail of my day.

Sometimes he would pick me up for lunch. Other times he would pick me up after work so we could have dinner with Dohyun. Each time I would be less agitated about Hyunjin's reaction to it, and more excited about seeing Chan.

It was then painfully obvious to me how I felt.

It was so painful that it in fact pained Hyunjin.

Hyunjin and I just finished our shift for today and were headed out for lunch. We were in the main elevator, casually discussing how he didn't like how he had to go to work on a Sunday, since his dad wanted to show him land he wanted to buy.

The elevator dings, then the doors open. We walk out as I say, "you can pretend to be sick."

Hyunjin scoffs, "what, and have him dramatically put me in house arrest? No."

"Well-" "Fuck," Hyunjin blurts, making me knit my brows, and ask, "what's wrong?"

He points to the distance then turns to me, "look, at this point it's pretty fuckin' disrespectful he turns up here with his son."

I cock my head then turn to where he points. I see Chan and Dohyun waving at me from outside the building.

Hyunjin scoffs, "they're acting as if I banned them from entering."

"Hyunjin,"

"Listen, I'm going to count to 5, if you don't go to them, I'm going to steal you away and lock you up in my house."

"Hyunjin you-"

"1-"

"Hyunjin, I feel bad,"

"You should have liked me back in college while you were at it."

"Hyunjin-"

"2!"

"Hyunjin!" I snap.

"What?!" he snaps back.

I sigh and shake my head, "will you be okay?"

"Really? Now, after you've been on dates with him and his son?" Hyunjin says, clearly annoyed.

I take a moment to articulate what I want to tell him.

He sighs, "honestly, I feel offended that you've been holding back for me. What? I'm sure you haven't even kissed him."

I stare at him.

His eyes widened, "you seriously haven't kissed him."

"..."

"I'm so touched I could barf."

"I'm just trying to-"

Hyunjin steps in front of me, blocking my view of Dohyun and Chan, then plants a kiss on my lips, cupping my face and causing my heart to jump.

I promptly shove him off after this. He looks at me, hurt. I immediately regret it.

"I'm sorry," he says lowly, wiping the lipstick off his skin, "but at least you have your answer."

"Hyunjin-"

"Do us both a favor and don't wait around as long as I did."

He pulls a smile on his face then walks away. I can't pretend I don't hear him curse under his breath. Still, I do as my brain is telling me and run outside to the Bangs.

Dohyun immediately envelops me into a tight hug.

Chan comes up to me, an stand-offish look on his face, "what was that with Hyunjin?"

I turn to him and give him a look as Dohyun begins to blabber about his day. I turn to the small boy, asking him to give me a moment, to which he graciously obliges.

I turn to his dad then beckon him closer, "he told me to give you this."

Chan is skeptical when he comes closer. He jolts in his place when he feels my lips press on his for the briefest moments.

Dohyun catches this then squeals loudly, letting my legs go to curl up in excitement and do a little dance, "OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE IN LOVE!"

Chan's face immediately reddens.

I smile and crouch down to the child, "Not as much as I love you though."

Dohyun grins then jumps into my arms, "can we play trucks tonight?"

I pick him up and stand, "of course, sweetie." I spare Chan a look then call to him, "come on, papa Bang. We've got some trucks to play with."

Chan breaks into a smile and hurriedly follows, "yes, ma'am."

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[liquid-beepers]

Billy Lenz nsfw alphabet:

Ayy! I hope you enjoy!! I love this man a little too much.

Warning! Contains sexual content!!! If you don't like it, please leave. Thank you.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex.) Tired and exhausted, ready to fall asleep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) his: thighs, ass, neck. Your: chest, fingers.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) he likes to come on your face, chest, and back.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) he really likes your underwear, sometimes he just steals them for himself.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) He's not experienced, he does know a lot though.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.) Doggy style, and missionary.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) he wants to be serious but, naturally he's a goofy guy.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they?) He has so much hair- he won't trim either.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) He's very intimate. He loves to make you feel good.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) he does frequently. He cannot control his feral ass.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) degrading, spanking, etc.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) everywhere, just everywhere.

M = Motivation (What turns them on and gets them going?) Kissing you, when you touch his chest, and when you kiss his neck.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) not much, he wouldn't like when you degrade him though.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) he loves giving. He doesn't really like receiving that much.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Fast and rough, he would not listen when you ask him to slow down.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) He likes them a lot, though he perfers to take you in the bedroom.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) He really likes it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) 4 or 5 rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) He's actually never actually seen one so he doesn't have an option.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease?) He absolutely loves to to tease you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He's actually pretty loud, it can be a little too loud sometimes.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)  one time, when you guys were first interacting, you caught him looking at you while you were sleeping, jerking to you. Once he noticed you were awake he dashed off to the attic again.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants.) 6.2 when soft and 7.1 when hard.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Incredibly high, it's kinda crazy.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) immediately. after you do it the next moment he's snoring.

Tag list: @gayst @billylenzslesbianwife

[doopy-n-loopy]

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

[funkymbtifiction]

I just had an argument with someone about 9s not being intuitive and they said: "9s have something called psychological inertia which includes paucity of inner experiences, lack of inner fire/passion, narcotization, thick-skinned, lack of subtlety/imagination, deafening of inner voices, deadening of feelings (expressed through phlegmatic disposition, lack of communication about self, or jovial disposition to hide it), don't want to be in touch with their experience, concrete, concern for survival/practicality. 9s are idealistic so as to not be disturbed by the outside world around them. but idealistic=/= imaginative. 9s are intellectually lazy and are excessively concrete and pursue distractions to "not see"--narcotization and “numbing out”.

This was on Will Byers pdb page and another user also linked this tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLoGUoE9/?k=1

I don´t know if this is were the whole rumor about 9s not being intuitive started but people jump on that train like crazy without doing any further research.

My response to the argument of the first person was btw this (in case this is helpful but maybe I am a bit off here too, its also somewhat shortened because my original response was WAY longer):

I suppose the idea derives somewhere from Naranjos description of 9s as “mentally lazy”, distracting or numbing themselves with sensory stimuli? If we argue on a basis that superficial I can also say that 9s are actually perfect intuitives, considering that they tend to avoid reality and are idealistic (as pointed out by you), which aligns perfectly with intuition. Intuitives are known to be idealistic because they also do not see reality for what it actually is (but as opposed to 9s this is not a defense mechanism to avoid unpleasantness but simply because thats there cognitive preference. That being said: a cognitive preference is never really challenging for the person of that preference, meaning: an intuitive 9 will NEVER perceive intuitive “thinking” as mentally challenging because it is their default setting, it does put them out of their comfort zone because it IS their comfort zone!). Intuitives look beyond the object for meaning and potential, instead of taking it at face value. They trust their insights and operate based off on what they believe to be true (whether that be some long-term abstract vision or the potential of an item or a person, even though there is no immediate evidence to support their assumption. They treat things and people for what they could be, rather than what they are), rather than basing their conclusions on tangible evidence. Living life and seeing the world in an idealistic “what could be” way is actually quite overlapping with 9s tendency of avoiding the world and only seeing the positive aspects, to avoid having to face negativity or conflict (though intuitives usually also have the ability to see negative and unpleasant possibilities, unless they are 9s that is and rather prefer to avoid those).

But if we want to argue a bit more in-depth...

First off: anyone can use sensory stimuli to distract themselves, that has nothing to do with type (unless you believe in stereotypes). If anything this aspect has more to do with subtypes rather than a preference for sensing/intuition. Especially sp-doms are likely to use sensory stimuli, considering that the focus of sp is on physical comfort (food, sleep, health etc.). Unfortunately Naranjo has not quite distinguished between subtypes (once again: for subtypes check out the book I will list below).

Second: lack of imagination/subtlety and “mental laziness” do not mean they cannot be intuitives. The mental laziness of 9s refers primarily to them not taking any REAL steps or in other words: being PRODUCTIVE/doing something productive. 9s are excellent at something called “busy-work” (which means pretending and/or appearing to do something without ever taking REAL action. Example: a 9 may spent hours organizing all their notes and working out a detailed study plan but they never ACTUALLY begin to study. On the surface it looks like they are doing something but if you look closer you see that they are not doing anything thats actually useful or productive. They can spend a great amount of mental energy to develop an organizational system and working out a plan but they won´t really use their mental energy in a productive way until they REALLY study, because thats the actual useful and productive thing to do. They may also feel inclined to redecorate their entire room, even though they have an important appointment coming up the next day, they haven’t prepared for yet. In short: 9s are excellent at setting the wrong priorities). Being mentally lazy means nothing more than that they never use their mental energy for anything that is actually useful, necessary or productive. Mental laziness does not mean that 9s are incapable of using imagination or their brain but rather that it never leads to any REAL results and is inherently unproductive (it can be somewhat compared to the 6 who keeps on over thinking everything without ever doing any kind of productive thinking, that would actually be useful). 9s are in the withdrawn stance, which makes them doing repressed but they are also in the gut/body center and therefore take information in through doing (now if that is confusing because you are unfamiliar with the concept of repressed centers: there is a book for that too. Though it mainly refers to examples of doing in the physical sense it is similar applicable to “doing” in the mental sense. In the physical sense this may mean: seeing that the trash bin needs to be taken out (taking in information in the sense of doing, seeing what needs to be done) but it may not occur to 9s that they are the ones to do it (doing repressed, not ACTUALLY taking action). In the mental sense this may mean: acknowledging that they need to figure out how they feel about a certain person in their life (taking information in through doing, recognizing what needs to be done) but they may ignore/avoid to do that because that would mean serious mental effort (doing repressed, not actually doing what needs to be done). 9s would have to dig deep to find their own true feelings and what if these feelings are in conflict with others? Acting on them could provoke conflict with others and not doing so would make the uncomfortable, now that they are aware of their feelings, which is why they tend to avoid to take action, to use their mental capacity in anyway that could pose “real” threats to them or would allow them to actively engage in life. Ironically with all the avoiding they of course bring more conflict onto themselves as if they wouldn´t avoid, but thats the irony of the enneagram: every type, if unhealthy especially, tend to bring their own core fear upon themselves by trying to do everything to prevent that...).

Lack of subtelty/imagination or mental laziness in 9s only refers to them not being able to use any of that energy in a productive, useful way. They are however perfectly capable of using their mental energy in unproductive ways to avoid reality whether that be the sensory, tangible reality or the reality (of passions, feelings etc.) inside themselves.

Mod Comment: I would say any attempts to preclude intuitives from being 9s also involves an anti-sensor bias, in which you call 9s "basic and unimaginative dullards," ergo, they cannot be the creative and passionate "snowflake" intuitive types (for the record, sensors can be imgainative and creative, and most famous authors are also sensors who identify a particular book field and dominate it with content).

All the withdrawn numbers (4/5/9) have an "inner world" that they retreat to, to avoid the outer one. It doesn't matter whether you are a sensor or an intuitive. The person who posed that (extremely biased) depiction of 9s should listen to the "Make 9s Great Again" Big Hormone Enneagram podcast. ;)