#sythras

[unanswered-stars]

The Ending of Darkness

Mithras x Sylvan

Read now on ao3

The trees of Autumn sighed silently as a chilled wind swept through the land. The air was filled with the fragrances of life, death, and everything in between. Russet eyes, dull and lifeless stood starkly against the bright rays of the sun flickering through the canopy.

Thank you my darling betas @chunkypossum @mistandmemories

Taglist: @futurehunt @jules-writes-stories @talibunny30 @historiaxvanserra @highlordofkrypton @the-darkestminds @chairofchaos @fieldofdaisiies @achaotichuman

[astralibrary]

another year another silan portrait babey.... a few days late this time but we still ballin'

i've been very into manga cover design lately (studying them, making my own, etc) so it only felt right to incorporate that into this year's portrait, right? and go way overboard designing the entire front, back and spine including a blurb and barcodes and retail/publishing info, right?? and then go all in on making a matching japanese version with its own alternative blurb and barcode area bc u can't have one without the other, right?? obviously!!!!

like i said i've been really into manga design-

thoughts & details belooow

funnily enough this ended up being an actual portrait again after i did away with them in favor of illustrations in recent years, but ig it's fitting since this is the 10th one, right? (more on that later i wrote this out of order-) a callback to the first one all those years ago... the other reason it's a portrait is bc art has been fighting back lately and a full illustration probably would have been a lot; most importantly tho i just thought this composition would make for a cool dramatic manga cover heh heh

anyway bro the impossible happened i fully rendered flowers AND completed the portrait this year hello??? this has never happened since the v first year wait i just checked it happened in 2019 too this has not happened since 2019 wowie!!!! i put my whole ass into those flowers pls observe them (except the tall purple ones don't look too closely at those. look at the pansies they're my fave ♥️)

this year we have morning glories taking center stage, surrounded by pansies, forget-me-nots, some kind of nondescript purple perennial or perhaps lavender, and some kind of pink blossom (idk that one was just a space filler). don't ask abt the random petals on his mouth & collarbone uhh theres some kind of flowering tree growing just offscreen it's possible

anyway the morning glories are significant bc they represent sythra, silan's twin sister; in my mind her colors are blue & yellow and it seemed like such a good fit, so i'm officially adding it to the Flower Lore (there is no flower lore)

there is, however, Twin Lore; silan's eyes are brown and sythra's are blue, but when they're telepathically linked their left eyes exchange color (so silan's becomes blue & vice versa). the flowers here are meant to represent that, like sythra isn't here but at the same time silan carries her with him wherever he goes... smth like that

the plot described in the blurb is like, sort of what happens but i simplified things for the sake of a neat little fake manga blurb. nobody asked me to do this yet here we are. if i were being realistic abt it this would probs be like vol 2 BUT i made it the 10th volume bc this is?? the 10th silan portrait??? i did the first one in 2014?? hello??? time is fake (my hc is that it's a slice of life club manga about flower pressing for the first 9 volumes but it pivots hard in vol 10 bc the author got so sick of drawing flowers no i am not projecting-)

now regarding the japanese version: i tried my best*

*(if u or a loved one know japanese ur not allowed to make fun of me ok orz i used 姉妹 bc theres no way for silan & sythra to know who's the older twin & idk what u would do in that situation like do u just pick one & go w it or is there another hierarchy-neutral word for sister, 姉妹 is the best i can do w my limited knowledge and even then it probably just sounds like silan is having twin girls which like good for him but even so if i sound like a dork keep it to urself ok but actually do tell me if u know bc i would like to Learn ik this is probably the least of my worries when it comes to that entire paragraph but rn we are just going to focus on the issues i know about and pretend that everything else is fine as is ok thank u for ur time & have a lovely day ur a star ⭐️)

misc fun facts aka u learn how unhinged i was abt this:

the title is May 16th bc that's just what silan's story has always been called. luckily i have that up my sleeve or i'd have had to come up w smth out of my ass like The Silan Portrait or some shit

the author and publishing company are both called astralibrary yes that's me (it has a nice ring to it as a manga publisher name don't u think). i made up the logo on the spot it's my best work. especially the one in the bottom right of the japanese bar code area where i just typed the name and put a star next to it bc that makes it look professional somehow

i stole borrowed the barcodes from existing manga i have good pics of (bc i have an entire folder in my gallery dedicated to manga covers & jpn typography, unrelated); the english one is hanako-kun vol 4, and the japanese one is after the rain vol 10. i changed all the numerical codes tho (variations on the date 5/16 repeating)

i made up the english prices but i picked ¥640 specifically bc that's the price of the natsuyuu volumes i have in my manga covers folder, my only possible point of reference,

rated teen even tho in my mind it'd be targeted more towards young adults; it doesn't have anything in it that would warrant a mature rating but it does feel strange to categorize it in this way even knowing these ratings don't necessarily dictate the target audience

i thought about messing around w the design of the japanese version more to reflect some of the design sensibilities i've observed in japanese manga, like different placement of the text on the cover or a different spine entirely (since they tend to differ a lot between jpn and eng versions)- i even thought about trying to design an obi (long strip of paper that wraps all the way around the bottom portion of the book, usually has announcements & promotional stuff on it), but that is a whole ass project for another day i think this'll do just fine for now skdjlfkdg

and there u have it, thank u for reading my yearly essay abt drawing i did! sometimes u need to go aaaaaa about smth u drew and that's ok 👌

---

edit: oh yea i forgor i should write transcriptions of the blurbs here we go

ENGLISH

Alone with his thoughts? Not necessarily...

Silan has finally discovered the source of the mysterious voice in his head- the long lost twin sister he never knew he had...?! She calls herself Sythra and she has a serious grudge against him- but they need each other in order to uncover the hidden truths about their past.

Why didn't they know about each other? How were they separated? Why can they hear each other's thoughts?

And... What else don't they know?

-

JAPANESE

双子の姉妹がいる⁉︎

サイランは頭の中の声の衝撃的な正体を知るーーどうやら双子の姉妹がいるらしい⁉︎しかも、なぜか嫌われているようで…頑張れ、サイラン！

どういうわけか、この二人は謎に満ちた過去の答えを一緒に見つけるでしょう。

なぜお互いのことを知らなかったのか？どのようにして離れ離れになったのか？なぜお互いの考えを聞くことができるのか？そして…他に知らないことは…？

待望の第10巻がついに登場！

INTENDED TRANSLATION:

I have a twin sister?!

Silan learns the shocking identity of the voice inside his head- apparently he has a twin sister?! And what's more, for some reason she seems to hate him... Hang in there, Silan!

Somehow, these two will find the answers to their mysterious past together.

Why didn't they know about each other? How did they get separated? Why can they hear each other's thoughts?And...what else do they not know...?

The long-awaited 10th volume is finally here!

[uniformbravo]

fanart of my oc silan (& technially sythra) by @mouseeared​

[skullysamm]

Evna - She's a dimension walker who's a queen of a world called Arnimlast. Used to be the heir to another world called Vutherth, but due to a war her and her friend (Rythe) ran away. From a princess royalty life (15 years) to a life of theft and trying to live without getting caught by her mother / Sythra. Those two roamed around worlds, slowly picking up tricks and ways to live, even if those two didn't see eye to eye on how to make a living. Rythe finding more pleasure if theft while Evna mostly doing honest work for honest pay , but they couldn't complain about one another as they were homeless for quite some time, only living in empty/run down houses or outskirts of towns. Later in years they formed a group of thieves and mercenaries, from humans all the way to beast who couldn't find a place where they are accepted or people to call family. The group would hop from world to world doing both thievery and work for others. With every world they would gain (sometimes lose) a few people. Many years has past, they go to war with Rythe's mother who caused the war on Vutherth, stealing, robbing and destroying the castle that she (and her new husband) would ever so much gloated about to all the other back on Vutherth. Rythe taking his half-brother Azure under his wing as Azure didn't really get along with his parents as they were neglectful towards him. Putting him into many colleges of magic, having him on the road and living his own life, to just sneak his way back into Vutherth as the head mage to keep the group updated on what goes on. (Note - Their is 2 Azures in the universe/story)

Evna somewhere in the hundreds in age, decided to do some solo-traveling which ended her right in the middle of a war on Arnimlast. Seeing how the war was a lot like the war back home that caused her to flee, she took arm and fought alongside those who didn't stand a chance of winning. Once the war has ended and the ruler was no longer among the land of the living, she stayed for some time, helping the people fix building and make sure things get fixed. Before she could leave the world to go back to traveling people pleaded for to become the new ruler as she has helped them. Reluctant at first as one of the major reasons she left home was so she wouldn't be the next ruler, but seeing the state of the world and how things could be changed for the better she accepted it while biting her lip. Giving Rythe and that group a permanent place to stay, only agreement that they don't steal from the people and try to keep the peace.

Every now and then Rythe and her (taking another appearance) would go out into towns to check on things while hanging out at places to eat.

Dymek - Orc Demon Mix (May change) He was orphaned on Arnimlast way before Evna ever showed up. Adopted by a couple who ran a farm, they wanted to have children badly but was unable to bare them and the only thing they could do is to adopt. Dymek is the youngest but the tallest of the group, he would take care of the animals and chop up the wood for cold nights. Don't get him wrong he enjoyed the work as it gave him something to do, during his days in the orphanage starting from the age to 5 to when he got adopted 8 he would get into trouble by ripping sheets off of beds, tearing things apart to get to snacks and just being a handful until he got something he was interested in. In his late teens he became interested in cooking to which he would try to cook when all of his choirs where done, but even if he had dinner he would still cook in the middle of the night as he didn't need as much sleep compared to his siblings and tends to get hungry much faster.

Years went by, he watched his siblings either move somewhere nearby or stay on the property building a new house so they can start a family or have a bit more privacy. Now it was his turn to decide to stay with his loving parents who gave him a chance or move away, he decided to stay but got a job in town working at a large tavern that was looking for people. He would mostly be a server but once and awhile he would fill in for one of the chiefs. On the side he would learn how to mix drinks and do fancy bar tricks.

Every so often, he would serve Rythe and Evna (without knowing that's the queen and the knight) to which he would talk to and slowly become friends out of work space.

[autisticgaminginitiative]

IT’S TIME! Here we go again for @autisticwomen and @autisticadvocacy!

DONATE TO AWN: https://www.crowdrise.com/agijune2017awn/ DONATE TO ASAN: https://www.crowdrise.com/agijune2017asan

(ALL TIMES IN EST: Stream starts at 3:00 PM.) 3:00-5:24 EST: Sam: https://www.twitch.tv/maniacalchimera 5:24-7:48 EST: Sythra: https://www.twitch.tv/chibidragon007 7:48-10:12 EST: kiotsukare: https://www.twitch.tv/kiotsukare 10:12-12:36 EST: Tijawn: https://www.twitch.tv/tijawn 12:36-3:00 EST: Wolfesbrain: https://www.twitch.tv/wolfesbrain 3:00-5:24 EST: Joobles: https://www.twitch.tv/joobl 5:24-7:48 EST: Ell: https://www.twitch.tv/eldritchcadence 7:48-10:12 EST: Steph/1863_project: https://www.twitch.tv/1863_project 10:12-12:36 EST: Alyssa Huber / Gingersnaspie: https://www.twitch.tv/gingersnaspie 12:36-3:00 EST: Chaz: https://www.twitch.tv/chazserir

[astralibrary]

recreates my ocs in animal crossing & gets emotional about it (remix)

[astralibrary]

OC-tober Day 8: different hair style

after yesterday i wanted to draw sythra some more... the prompt was just for one hair style but i already had this template saved so!! normal is still my fave but these were very cute to try on her 💙

i couldn’t find the original creator of this template, but you can find the blank version here

[astralibrary]

OC-tober Day 7: immediate family

made it through week 1!! there were a few ways i could have done this prompt but today i was in the mood for something a little more dramatic, so here are silan and sythra (twins). their relationship is complicated and rough but they’re doing the best they can all things considered u_u

[astralibrary]

OC-tober Day 17: as a child / childhood memory

silan & sythra as babie.... this is like vaguely a childhood memory but more in concept than a direct depiction of any kind of specific event. they spent a lot of time together as kids, somehow

[astralibrary]

OC-tober Days 26-30: with pet/favorite animal | all alone | best friend | regrets | cherished moment

hee hoo theres a bunch this time, heres some notes

day 27 - baby sythra :( she deserves an enormous hug

day 26 - an older oc, torynth! he is gentle and kind and really good with animals; the fox is like, his companion/best friend and they love each other v much ;w;

day 28 - chrissy & andy have known each other since like middle school, maybe earlier?? their friendship is rly sweet i love them sm

day 29 - took a more symbolic route w this prompt but idk if i can elaborate at this time,,, her name is jun & she is one of my protags, she’s got some #Baggage

day 30 - rynn & ckess used to play together a lot when they were younger it was Very cute

[uniformbravo]

alright here are my ocs’ results from that text post

chris: overeager kouhai in a sports anime - he doesn’t have That personality but the concept holds up bc chris does play a Sport so at least the type of anime is accurate. if “overeager” could manifest as “taking every possible opportunity to show off, acting as if everyone is watching/admiring him at all times and aggressively striving to be the team’s ace” then yes

silan: innocent and pure hearted love interest in a romance anime - this is literally exactly him im crying it couldn’t have given me a better result for him (secretly it would be more accurate to say that this is how i personally think of him and not necessarily a true reflection of his character but Still why is my son so pure.... too good for this world)

sythra: exhausted senpai in a sci-fi anime - truuuuu i love the sci-fi anime bit bc it sounds more adventurous and plot-oriented, which is very much sythra’s style, compared to silan who would absolutely be in a cute slice-of-life romance. for all three of them actually, including chris, the genres are completely spot-on (because sythra is like into science n shit i cant believe this)

ok for these next three im crying bc theyre literally all accurate as fuck but each got assigned to the wrong person:

alex: law abiding citizen in a mystery anime - this should’ve been andy, who has too much anxiety to ever break a rule in his life, the only thing hes ever been the perpetrator of is liking sao hdjsjdj (unless “law abiding citizen” is code for “secretly the murderer” in which case this is absolutely alex. in a sense i guess this description could fit him bc it sounds like someone who doesn’t want to get involved and is just trying to mind their own business, which is 100% him)

andy: overly flirty best friend in a boys love anime - this absolutely should’ve gone to chrissy i cannot believe how much this is chrissy and distinctly the exact opposite of andy im reeling

chrissy: the gorgeous megane in a boys love anime - ok ngl the main reason this should go to alex is bc he wears glasses and in the original version of the story i made a big deal out of how attracted andy was to that sO (but alex Does Not have the megane personality he actually hates wearing his glasses rip andy)

aaand the last three are not so great for accuracy whoops (maybe it’s a sign i need to develop these characters more lmaoo)

cairir: underrated sidekick in a boys love anime - i can see it, rip rir (originally i entered just “rir” but it gave me the same result as sythra so i did the full name instead. i can kinda see that one too tho, sci-fi could fit rir if we’re going for the action/adventure angle again, since they really like travelling and exploring)

lucas: muscular show off in a romance anime - i mean kind of?? again im not familiar with the personality type but lucas isn’t very muscular tbh.. he is an asshole tho so i can see some show-offyness in him? i guess?? ok this isn’t rly a good fit tbh bye lucas

devon: the angry kid in a sports anime - ok this one 100% should’ve gone to chris, this ain’t devon at all but it’s very chris, he is an Angery Boy (chris is the overeager kouhai in his backstory but shows up in s1 as the angry kid, u dont unlock his tragic past until episode 7)

god this just made me want to think out aus for all my ocs now Thanks hjsjkdfjjgk

[uniformbravo]

ramblin abt my ocs (a lot)

i think im starting to care abt my ocs again, which is good bc it seems like every time i go hard in a fandom for a while i get extremely apathetic abt my own characters (bc the ones im obsessed w/ at the time seem to outshine them in every conceivable way and make them look painfully boring in comparison), so im glad the current wave of those feelings is finally starting to wear off bc god

anyway i’ve been thinking about some old ocs lately (like from when i was 13/14) and i wanted to look into them some more so i pulled out the notebook that had their story, which was coincidentally the one that silan & sythra are originally from and wow it turns out there was actually a legit explanation for their alternate eye colors?? 

i know i’ve gone back to find this story before too (quite recently actually) so idk why i didn’t already know this, i think i literally just keep forgetting every time fkdfksjd

tbh it’s probably because it doesn’t apply anymore because ok their original story had a whole cast of characters with super powers (i’ve talked abt it a little before), and originally their Thing was that they could read each other’s minds, which is kind of still how they work now but the other thing they could do was share their literal sight? here’s the actual description from the story

If they are apart, they can do something called sight division, where they can choose to see what the other is seeing. It’s like because their eyes are opposite colors, they can match their missing eye with the other’s and share the sight.

like it makes sense and it’s a pretty cool idea tbh? and idk how i forgot about it but somewhere down the line their psychic relationship developed past the point of something like sight division even being necessary, like

in may 16th, the story i transferred them to after this, the link’s concept changed from simply being able to read each other’s minds to being a constant connection between them- it’s not a conscious decision they make to “read” what the other is thinking, they’re just always there in each other’s heads, aware of what is happening with the other person at all times 

but even then the story would often have them mentally speaking full sentences to each other as a means of communication, whereas now it’s evolved even further past that; the current idea is that they are two separate entities that share the same mind space, constantly influencing and being influenced by each other’s thoughts, feelings, natures and personalities to the point that the line between the two of them distinguishing who’s who would be more accurately described as a gradient

so the concept of “sight division” has been rendered completely obsolete at this point because why would they need to share their sight when they literally know exactly what is happening with the other person at every waking moment of their connected lives

the reason for their eye colors became merely symbolic at some point between the original story and may 16th (i probably just forgot about the sight division & didn’t ever go back to check tbh) and the idea i’ve had ever since was that it was just a physical manifestation of their mental link; sythra’s eyes are originally blue and silan’s are originally brown, but because of the connection it’s like they have a little piece of each other within them, ergo the switching of their left eyes

that’s the explanation i’ve been using this whole time & i thought that’s how it always was, so reading the original concept kind of blew my mind & made me a little sad that i can’t use it anymore bc honestly??? good post op

anyway i rly want to do more with silan & sythra bc i feel like they have a lot of potential and i’ve had some cool ideas for them in the past, so maybe i’ll develop those more hmmm

i think i’d have to migrate them into another story separate from may 16th to really explore them, though. which is kind of a scary thought because may 16th is my baby, but. i think that time in my life has passed and it’s time to do something Bigger with these characters, because at this point they deserve so much more than Shitty High School Romance In Which Sythra Is Pretty Much Shoved To The Side To Make Room For The Main Relationship Plotline Where The Most Mediocre Dude Ever Shows Up & Steals Silan’s Heart By Being A Complete Dick To Him Wow (But Like, A Handsome Dick)

and ok that’s being a little harsh because that’s only the original draft- i’ve been salvaging it & rearranging it to make it leagues better, but the thing is, in the process i’ve only come to realize that it needs to become something bigger; my ideas are evolving it past that original high school romance setting, and while that setting will always hold a special place in my heart, i want to let this story and these characters breathe and grow to their full potential instead of caging them with nostalgia, you know? i think i’ll remember may 16th as the high school romance au, that is how it will live on in my heart

god i dont even know what i would do with chris in a new story though?? he is Truly the most mediocre and the only reason he was a prominent character in may 16th was because of his relationship with silan; if we’re gonna take that relationship away though then what is he even here for. his motivations include 1. Playing Sport and 2. Ignoring Every Emotion Especially The Gay Ones like god what an uninspired character what am i supposed to do with him. i mean i have been working on him lately but deep down i really do think he’s a boring character and i probably care about him the least out of all my main ocs hgjdgkdjksdg I FEEL BAD BUT

literally the only thing that has ever made him interesting to me is his relationship with silan like he has a fun dynamic with him and pretty decent development as a result of his interaction with him but as soon as he’s on his own he’s just sUch a boring character im snoring i need to fix chris somebody save him (read: me)

that’s the big problem here, i think. if im going to transfer these characters into a new story that’ll focus primarily on silan and sythra (or at least a lot more than may 16th did), chris would just be a huge distraction like he was in may 16th; if silan is what makes him interesting then he’ll just end up immediately latching onto silan and stealing the focus away from sythra bc chris only exists to be with silan, right. so the options im looking at here are 

omit chris completely because he’d just be an unnecessary dead weight on the story or

find another purpose for him, give him new depth that doesn’t conform to a romance, reinvent him as a compelling standalone character who could fit right into any given setting- discover what defines him and build on it until he feels like he could be his own protagonist

....obviously one of these requires a lot more energy & dedication but. i cant just abandon my boy. my dumbass mediocre af shit boy

aaaaaanyway i’ve definitely gone on for way too long Oops i didnt mean to shit on chris for so many paragraphs hghdghsdgdj but im kinda glad i did bc that was smth i really needed to admit & come to that conclusion so That’s Cool. if anything u at least got to see a bit of what my brainstorming documents usually look like (theyre a mess)

but uhh ya Cool Glad We Could Have This Talk

[uniformbravo]

i’ve been so fucking thirsty for old content of my ocs lately i stg i’m looking through so many old folders and sketchbooks from 8th/9th grade looking for any scrap of writing or the tiniest doodle i can find im like rabid for it i Need the Good Shit

today i found a couple pages i wrote from sythra’s pov once and it’s honestly such a revolutionary discovery bc i completely forgot i ever made it and i’ve never written anything else from her pov, i am truly speechless what a spectacular find???

i also found these in an old sketchbook:

My Boys...... my fucking Sons im in tears these are from 8th grade back when i first made them & the style is so ugly but i love thhem gooodddddd this was back when silan’s eye colors were reversed (now i have it so his right eye is brown and his left is blue) aaaaa these fucking dumbass noodle arm stumpy leg designs im crying chris didnt even get colored bye chris;;;

bbut yeah shit like this, this is what i live for rn like i know it’s nothing special to anyone else but this is Historical Artifacts to me, these should be in a fuckening Museum i want to compile everything i ever made of may 16th like some kind of weird autobiographical exhibit hoard and just like.... have it, all of it together in one place to preserve it forever it’s what i want & need, im so weak for these ocs chris and silan own my ass bye

[uniformbravo]

i rly love my ocs ok im just gonna make this one of those posts where i talk about my life but this is the special OC Edition

idk i’ve just been working with them a lot lately and im so into it , my resolution this year was to work on that big webcomic project & everything and ya i’ll still do that but i’ve been so in love w/ my older ocs i want to fix their old shitty stories and bring them back to life, i’ve even been considering maybe using one as comic practice?? idk which one bc i keep bouncing back and forth between the two stories but ok

i always assume that nobody knows anything abt my ocs since i never really talk about them in depth but Basically i have my two casts from their respective stories: silan/sythra/chris are from may 16th, alex/andy/chrissy are from devil’s peak (edgy title from 9th grade oooo it’s just the name of the town they live in lmao)

this past week i’ve been on a may 16th kick because, well, it was literally may 16th on tuesday lol so i’ve been thinking abt them a lot and, like, i’ve been writing again?? just working on this really fuckin self-indulgent thing i started like a month ago, i picked it back up again this week and i’ve been weirdly in the Mood to write, so

idk it’s really exciting?? it feels super good to get back into writing, especially with this little for-fun no stress project, and also im feeling rly sentimental about writing these specific characters again? because i made them back in 8th grade and they were my very first gay characters and silan in particular has stuck close with me through all these years so he’s like really, really special to me

and i still have everything i wrote that year: i used to write on paper and in notebooks so i have all of those, and a couple of them are falling apart a little but i treasure them; every now & then i go back and reread it all and it’s So Bad but im so in love with it i love this stupid dumb story with these stupid dumb characters doing stupid dumb things and i get rly nostalgic and sentimental about it every time

because i dedicated a year of my life to writing this story! i had it all planned out from start to finish and wrote enough bits and pieces of it that if you read all of them in chronological order you’d be able to follow the plot quite well and that’s just huge to me?? it was gonna be an entire book there were different arcs and conflicts and everything & like im making it sound way better than it actually was through the power of Being Vague but Damn this was a huge project for me and i wrote a lot of it, i poured so much time and passion into creating it aahhh

i did write a couple other things for it here and there after that year, but technically they were non-canon? well actually i mean one was a scene i had previously written but from chris’ pov, but the actual book was from silan’s pov so it didn’t really count- the point is i haven’t actually written anything for them in about 7 years (give or take), so working on this thing i’m doing right now feels really.... significant

and ok i guess technically this scene isn’t actually canon either, it’s more like an exercise with the two of them (and also i just really really wanted to write it), but it could be canon if i could figure out a few things and that’s all that matters right

it’s like.... i’m coming back to them after some big changes? like when you haven’t seen someone in years and then you talk to them again and so much has changed since the last time you saw them but it’s still them, that’s what this feels like

because their characters (as well as their entire story) have gone through so many changes since that first year of writing them; i may not have written any actual story content over the past several years, but i’ve absolutely done a lot of brainstorming and characterization stuff with them so that they’re much more fleshed out with a lot more personality than either of them had originally (this goes for sythra too actually), and now this is the first time i’ve written them since all of those changes and it’s pretty special

i guess for example chris used to be extremely boring tbh? he had no personality other than “The Boyfriend” basically, everything he did just kind of conformed to whatever i needed from him to propel the story forward, and he went through changes that made no sense? like in the beginning he was um an asshole to silan but then the second they got together he did this complete 180 and became super nice and caring out of nowhere and it felt rly out of place, and all of it was to conform to the plot like there was no real reason for him to be acting that way on his side

now i feel like i place a much higher importance on treating characters like people instead of props, so chris has internal conflict that sticks with him and drives him to do the things he does in the story and he feels so much more alive to me now; i’m writing this thing from his pov and it’s so fun to play around with his thoughts and reactions and just like seeing what kind of a person he is as the scene plays out, it’s so good and exciting & im so proud of him hes my son & hes grown up so much im getting emotional bye

god i’ve spent way too long on this don’t let me talk about my ocs ever bc i dont know when to stop i just.... i love them so much lmao ;v;;;;;;;;;

[uniformbravo]

i was honestly already aware of this but the more i read of this original story the clearer it becomes that i rly have just telephone style mischaracterized silan so much over the years between all this animal crossing potted succulents uwu vanilla bullshit, original canon silan was fuckin Outta Control, 100% capable of going feral & sarcastic as fuck like what a little smartass heLLO, also had a thirst as vast and powerful as a great roiling ocean in a midsummer storm or w/e, basically this bitch was unstoppable & i had the audacity to take a custom-made krazy straw in the shape of a clown shoe & suck all the personality out of him until barely anything was left, and for what??? the money?? an empty shot at the big time??? disgusting

[uniformbravo]

ok fuck it im doing it

so for the sake of preserving them in case something were to ever happen to the originals, i’m currently in the long process of typing up everything i wrote for my ocs chris & silan’s story when i was like 14ish and it is very bad and i love it and here are some liveblogs of me reading it as i work towards my goal to immortalize all of it in digital text form

(this isn’t a full comprehensive lb bc that would take a thousand ass years, just think of these as like. The Highlights

basic context tho: silan is the narrator/main character & chris is the guy hes crushing on, theyre in high school & this story is basically just a romance between them. also silan has a twin sister sythra who he shares a psychic link with & routinely has telepathic conversations with, but thats just details)

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The dinner is simple; chicken nuggets from mars the freezer, instant mashed potatoes, and corn.

this wasn’t even in the final draft as far as i remember it’s just inexplicably in this version??? like Ok

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there is. a teacher named “mr. hyweid” pronounced “high weed” for exactly that reason

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It’s kind of like another one of my weird fantasy type things, except more realistic.

uh huh is that right silan

-

In my mind, it would go something like this: Me: Hi. Chris: Um. Me: What? Chris: I don’t know you. Me: Oh. And that would be the end of that.

i

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“‘Nothing?’ Don’t give me ‘nothing,’ Silan. I want a straight answer.”

I laugh mirthlessly.

“Oh, I don’t think my answer will be very straight at all.”

hello police im cringing so hard my organs are failing PLEASE send an ambulance aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-

I can’t stop thinking of Chris’ actions.

idk why the phrasing of this is making me laugh so hard, “i can’t stop thinking of chris’...... actions” like kgjldkflskgjlsdkf

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“Sythra,” I say. “I wish there was something I could do, I really do, but…” I trail off, unable to finish my sentence. Her anger begins to ebb.

“Sure you do,” she mutters resentfully, looking away. “I can tell by the way you explained the reason so well.”

WHAT is this dialogue im kgjdldgn fuckiign Get Him Sythra, sick fucking burn kfdlkgslkdgjdg

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He walks past me to retrieve his backpack, which is still in the trash-can

Yeah Okay Sure, Checks Out

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On his way back he “accidentally” stumbles into me.

“Oh, sorry, Silan.” Of course, he’s meant to do it.

nothing gets past you, silan

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He plays the violin, like half of the rest of the class, but has managed to seat himself as close to me as possible. Now we’re just a few feet apart.

exactly how many feet apart, would you say,

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After a minute everyone quiets down and Mr. Cracke has us play a few scales. Then he tells us, “Take out Banana Boogie.”

A few people snicker at the name. Perverts.

hkfdlgkdjflskdgslkdfjlsdgkndglkdfkgnsdk so this is a good time to mention that this story was 1000% self insert and banana boogie was a real song we had to play in orchestra and im positively Dying at this “perverts” line i was such afuckignkdglkdflskdgk GOd,

o yea also the teacher’s name IS mr cracke, for a similar reason to mr hyweid,

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Alone in the bathroom. I stare up at my reflection in the mirror, hoping for something more than I am.

WHY is he just fuckign going all mulan in the bathroom randomly in the middle of class i cant take this

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No. Still that same face, with the same eyes; one blue, one brown. That’s the first thing anyone notices about me; “Hey, what’s wrong with your eyes?” they’ll ask, and I’ll tell them, “I was born this way.” I wish they wouldn’t ask, that they’d realize, “Hey, he probably gets that a lot. I think I’ll just leave him alone about it.” But they don’t. Besides, what are they expecting? “No, I used to have brown eyes but I got in a car crash that jarred the nerves in my brain and turned my right eye blue.” Ridiculous.

THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH????????????? IM SCREAMIN “the nerves in my brain” gkdjlskdLKSDJFLSKGD YEA THATS HOW EYE COLOR WORKS

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“Chris!”

He tosses his hair out of his eyes.

“The one and only.” He smirks.

IFOGFDKDFKLSKGONSLKDLKSNGSSWKSKWHKSJGKSDGKD WHY WAS HE LIKE THIS I HATE THIS IM GONNA DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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He snickers and goes over to the sink.

“Just wanted to wash my hands,” he says over his shoulder.

chris, showing up to the bathroom to Wash His Hands,

-

“Get out.” I don’t look at him.

“Excuse-”

“I said get out.” My voice is poisonous. He leaves.

Lost His Bathroom Privileges,

i love that silan doesn’t at any point try to leave the bathroom himself he just fuckin kicks chris out fkdjfldkgsl

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and that’s as far as i got today but Boy Oh Boy is there more where that came from, i literally wrote so much & all of it is bad??? im having the time of my life this story is so fucking stupid gldfksaskjdlksdg