#system addict five star

[palatteflags]

System Addict by Five Star based moodboard~ Requested by an anon, hope you like how it looks~

Want one? Send an ask! -mod Jay

[fuzzyghost]

[dorothylarouge]

Dorothy's Top Five Games of 2024

Honorable Mentions:

Suzerain: A gripping and fully-developed world of politics and international relations, Suzerain released its Rizia DLC this year, and I played through both it and the main campaign. Its realistic portrayal of political and economic processes, in the backdrop of a world almost our own, proved extremely addictive.

Goodbye Volcano High: A heartfelt and moving interactive animated miniseries about coming of age in apocalyptic times, with some great indie rock-flavored music.

We Love Katamari Reroll: A delightful followup to the original Katamari Damacy, We Love Katamari is more of the same - and what more could you ask?

Sea of Stars: A beautiful love letter to classic JRPGs, with gorgeous environments, delightful timing-based combat, endearing characters, and wonderful music, including guest tracks composed by legend Yasunori Mitsuda.

Dragon Age: the Veilguard: Now the story of a studio who lost everything, and the one game that had no choice but to get them back on track. It’s Arrested Development.

And now, the list proper.

Fifth Place: Penny's Big Breakaway (Evening Star)

I have a tremendous soft spot for 3D platformers. Some of my earliest memories of video games involve playing Super Mario Sunshine, Sonic Adventure 2, and Spyro (the bad one) on GameCube.

Penny's Big Breakaway feels like a refugee from that era of platformer, one which would have felt at home on the Dreamcast, GameCube, or even the original Xbox or PlayStation 2. It combines energetic, almost frantic platforming with a high skill ceiling and combo system with a turn-of-the-century graphical aesthetic and fantastic music by Tee Lopes to provide a return to form for a genre which has for too long been permitted to languish.

As with most 3D platformers, story is not a major focus. You play as Penny, a yo-yo-toting busker who ends up running afoul of an emperor and must escape imprisonment by his army of colorful penguins. That's it. That's all you need. This simple premise provides ample excuse for Penny to run, jump, and roll her way through a host of themed worlds. Sometimes, less is more.

With that said, this is not a perfect game. The controls take a lot of time and effort to master, and even after a good amount of play time one is liable to fling oneself off of the map. Health powerups are not as plentiful as they should be, especially in boss encounters, and a lack of camera control can be downright painful at times. Still, these complaints do not ruin the game, and hopefully they can be addressed in a sequel.

The developers of Sonic Mania have created a true gem with this, the debut game from new studio Evening Star, and I look forward to seeing what the studio comes out next - like the best platformer mascots, Penny has the charisma and style to inspire adventures for years to come.

Fourth Place: Neva (Nomada Studio)

Neva is the latest release from Nomada Studio, creators of the brilliant game Gris, and where Gris was a parable of grief and loss, Neva is an ecological fable in which a girl and her dog must make their way through an increasingly-ravaged natural world beset by decay and corruption.

The core gameplay of Neva builds and iterates upon what was seen in Gris, with a dash, double jump, and ground pound, but added in are a sword, which main character Alba uses to fight enemies as well as unlock obstacles, and abilities involving the titular dog which are unlocked over the course of the game. The combat is fun but fairly rudimentary, and I saw it as a garnish on the real focus of the game, which is robust and engaging puzzle platforming of the kind that made Gris such a delight.

The game, as expected of Nomada Studio, is gorgeous, with a beautiful art style, impeccable sound design, brilliant use of color, and haunting, atmospheric music. The level design is also excellent, spanning a number of natural environments which are slowly but surely overtaken by the creeping decay, as well as man-made structures resembling those in Gris, which are also crumbling and in a state of decay. The degradation of nature and collapse of the structures of man are linked in Neva, giving rise to uncomfortable thoughts about the state of the world today.

Neva is defined by cycles, cycles of life, death, decomposition, and the cycle of the seasons, which give each of the game's four chapters their names. The game ends in an echo of its beginning, a beautiful and bittersweet ending I will not spoil here.

Neva is a hauntingly beautiful, if frustratingly short, gaming experience which I think will stay with me for a long time. I felt compelled to hug my dog after it was done.

Third Place: Metaphor: ReFantazio (Studio Zero)

When Metaphor was first announced, the impression that everyone got was that it was fantasy Persona, with a large amount of development staff carried over from the Hashino Persona games, a lot of mechanics and systems carried over from those games, and even some summonable demons from the mainline Persona and Shin Megami Tensei games. Commentators made note that this was fantasy Persona. Journalists endlessly referred to it as fantasy Persona. Reviewers regarded it as fantasy Persona. It was such a cliche, so aggravating to fans, that it became verboten in the fanbase to refer to the game as fantasy Persona.

Metaphor: ReFantazio is fantasy Persona. This is in no way a bad thing. As in the Hashino Persona games, there is an emphasis on social simulation, with the main character forging bonds with his party members and honing his social skills - not to self-actualize as a social being, as in Persona, but to prove his mettle and worthiness as a king to a kingdom cast into chaos after the last king's murder.

It is this emphasis on fantasy that sets Metaphor apart. The game is constantly musing on fantasy tropes and the transformative nature of the genre, and it has a surprising amount to say about the appeal of fantasy narratives, to say nothing of its overarching themes of prejudice and self-determination.

In terms of gameplay, Metaphor actually takes a lot more from the Press Turn system of Shin Megami Tensei than the One More system of Persona, and it took me a while to get into the groove of it. Once I did, though, I had a great time chaining attacks to strike at opponents' weaknesses and finishing my turns with devastating damage via the game's Synthesis mechanic. The game's central gameplay feature, the Archetype system - a sort of job system like those in Sqaure Enix RPGs - was also something I took to readily after some initial fiddling. The game lets you mix and match abilities from different archetypes via the skill inheritance system, and I had a lot of fun creating an ideal build for each playable character.

And then, of course, there's the characters. Metaphor features a large cast of characters, and I was happy to see that all of the social link equivalents featured strong and compelling narratives that made the time needed to invest in each rank of their story a worthy commitment. In particular, I found the narratives of Eupha, Heismay, and Maria especially compelling, and the bonuses provided through spending time with them to be particularly valuable.

Metaphor: ReFantazio is fantasy Persona. And that's a good thing! It's a great game, and I hope it's one that gets revisited sooner rather than later. Studio Zero have produced a real gem for their debut title, and I really hope they keep the momentum going.

Second Place: Ghost of Tsushima: Director's Cut (Sucker Punch Productions)

I am a huge fan of the works of director Akira Kurosawa - Throne of Blood is my favorite film of all time - and the jidaigeki genre of samurai films in general, so when I learned that Sucker Punch was making a game inspired by the genre I was filled with excitement which turned to dismay when I learned that the game would be PlayStation exclusive. Thankfully, though, little stays PlayStation exclusive for long, and I was happy to finally play Ghost of Tsushima when its Director's Cut released on PC this year.

The setup of Ghost of Tsushima is pretty simple, and slots in nicely with its genre - you play as Jin Sakai, the sole survivor of a massacre of samurai at the hands of invading Mongols, and must use all the tools at your disposal to free the jito, your uncle, and liberate your island home of Tsushima. Along the way, you begin to chafe at the code of honor you are expected to uphold as a samurai and as your uncle's heir apparent. While Ghost does have a simple premise, it is its characters, and their struggles and dreams, which kept me invested throughout the experience.

The game's combat is consistently satisfying, with the player rotating through various swordfighting stances to counter specific enemy types, while also having access to a bow, bombs, poison darts, and various quickfire items which can disrupt enemies and allow you to control the flow of combat. It's a fun system to master and learn how to get through any encounter without taking any damage. Occasionally the game also puts you in one on one duels with certain enemies, which are always fantastic - the one at the end of the game especially.

Where Ghost really shines, though, is in its exploration. I wouldn't call Ghost of Tsushima a true open world game - the player's access to the island's various regions is gated by story progression, and you unlock more of Tsushima as you progress, while having free reign of any area you have access to at any given time. The game heavily rewards exploration with a variety of activities and collectibles, which differentiate themselves from the typical Ubisoft-style open world icons by being fun, useful, and engaging. You'll scale mountains to reach a shrine to a kami, or rest for a while in a hot spring to increase your health, or (anachronistically as the art form did not exist in the 13th century) compose a haiku to earn a new piece of cosmetic gear. You'll also follow a number of character-based side stories, one-off side quests, and mythic tales which unlock powerful abilities and armor, all of which are extremely engaging and memorable. I would liken Ghost of Tsushima to last year's Tears of the Kingdom in terms of just how good it feels to explore and discover the island of Tsushima's beautiful environments, and uncover all of its secrets.

As a lover of the genre, I could barely put Ghost of Tsushima down in my initial playthrough of over 70 hours. It more than earns its spot on the list, but there's just one game I think left even more of a mark on me this year.

First Place: Persona 3 Reload (P-Studio)

I am a recent convert to the Persona series, having first played Persona 5 Royal in 2022 and playing Persona 4 Golden when it released on Xbox in 2023. However, I have fallen deeply in love with the series, and when Persona 3 Reload was announced I made the decision that I had to play it on release day. I called out of work and preordered the game - something I never do - and through a combination of being trapped in my home by a massive storm and losing my job the next week, I ended up plowing through Persona 3 Reload in about a week. I simply couldn't put the game down.

I had very little knowledge of the story or characters of Persona 3, having never played my copy of Persona 3 Portable since this game was announced so soon after that released, and so experiencing this narrative for the first time was an experience I'll never forget. Persona 3 is a game about death which is simultaneously extremely life-affirming, celebrating the relationships, connections, and simple joys that make life worth living, while embracing the fact that everyone must someday die and using that fact as motivation to live every day to the fullest. It is a moving, emotional story anchored by rich, engaging characters. I cried several times throughout.

The gameplay of Persona 3 Reload, a refinement on the turn-based systems of previous entries, is polished to a shine, and I found myself blowing through whole blocks of Tartarus, the game's only dungeon, in a single in-game night due to how engaging and addictive the combat felt. It felt extremely rewarding to find effective combos and a synergistic team that could raise each character's Theurgy gauge as quickly as possible, and the structure of Tartarus hooked me in surprisingly effectively, given that I wasn't a big fan of Persona 4's TV Wortld dungeons, or Persona 5's Mementos, dungeons with a similar structure to Tartarus. It helps that there's a surprising amount to do in Tartarus, from rescuing lost civilians to fulfilling requests for the Velvet Room attendant Elizabeth to exploring the various Monad Doors and plundering their rare items.

Persona 3 Reload is a very special game, one that I think will stick with me for a very long time. I can easily see why fans had been clamoring for a remake for so long, and I am extremely grateful that we finally got this game as a result. It is a genuine masterpiece, and easily takes the title of my game of the year.

[techramonic]

What is Pain? : How Austin Eubanks Dealt with Addiction and the Aftermath of Columbine.

Austin and Corey

Stephen Austin Eubanks was a junior and a star student in Columbine High School. Corey Tyler DePooter, his best friend, was also a particularly gifted student who prioritized his studies over anything else. Despite having a wide range of interests, the two kids particularly bonded over their shared passion for fishing.

At the age of 17, Corey had gotten a job doing maintenance at a golf club in order to earn money for a fishing boat that he planned to buy with a friend — likely Austin. The two often used to go fishing together and would talk about the struggles they had as teenagers.

Day of the Tragedy

On April 20th of 1999, the two were inside the library getting ready to get lunch with their friends, Jennifer Doyle and Peter Ball. That was until they had heard shots fired from the outside, not recognizing the sounds and believing that it was only the sounds of construction. Then they heard a bomb go off, a teacher rushing in to scream for the students to hide underneath the table because two students were armed with guns.

In a state of shock and fear, the four duck under the same table near the windows. With 10 minutes passing, the shooters had already entered the library and methodically fired under each table as recalled by him. His best friend, Corey, was one of those who were shot after being aimed with a semi-automatic rifle and shot at the neck, chest, and left arm by Dylan Klebold.

The bullet that hit Austin's hand first passed through his best friend, killing him instantly. With his best friend lying lifelessly beside him and being wounded on his hand and knee, Austin had no other choice than to try to play dead while laying in a pool of blood. When the shooting had stopped, Austin ran through the smoke and out of the backdoor of the library. He was only 17 when the shooting occured.

In Austin's TedTalk “What Columbine Shooting taught me about pain and addiction”, he recalls:

"I remember how I felt: I was confused, I was afraid, I felt sick and I was vulnerable. And just minutes later, I was playing dead underneath a table next to a pool of blood. I had just been shot and I witnessed my best friend murdered right in front of me as we were huddled together waiting for help to come."

Pain, Grief, and Narcotics

During the time he fled from the crime scene, Austin marked that as one of the most impacting and damaging experiences he has ever experienced in regards to the feeling of pain. His definition of pain was nothing similar to what he describes in his present days.

Pain, in a medical sense, is the variably unpleasant sensation of physiological systems mediated by specific nerve fibers of the brain that are conscious of receiving signals of awareness. According to Austin's TedTalk, the American Pain Society introduced the term "pain is the fifth vital sign" in 1996. This means that when you enter the room, your status is assessed using five different data points: blood pressure, pulse rate, temperature, respiration rate, and pain.

Due to a movement that was certain that we were undertreating pain, patient satisfaction surveys were implemented in order to monitor the campaign's success. To him, in order to uphold this new momentum and cause the patient's pain levels to cease completely, the ethical dilemma instantly arose:

“Do I issue this person with narcotics to make them happy or deny them and potentially hurt my compensation, the revenue of the hospital? Or at worse, open myself up for a grievance for undertreating pain that could potentially result in the loss of my job?”

Austin says that the healthcare system predominantly treats physiological systems and would rather not assess emotional pain into the equation. He akins the emotional pain of dealing with trauma being identical or if not more than when dealing with physical pain. With that, within months after the incident, Austin was prescribed opiate medication for his injuries.

In an exclusive interview with The Fix, he said that his injuries were not to the point of needing an opiate pain medication but was immediately given a 30-day supply and became addicted within three months. From then on, he said, “I used substances every day, day in and day out.”

After the shooting, his parents took him to a therapist who said Austin was too shut down to process his horrific trauma. But the reason no one could reach him was because he was overmedicated. He was addicted to painkillers, and used medication because of his unwillingness to engage in the stages of grief that he dreaded to face. He was haunted by the past. Struggling with survivor's guilt and the death of his best friend, he would rather ignore the intense burdening feelings he bore. According to him,

“Acute Physical Pain ends relatively quickly, complex emotional pain does not.”

The morphine Eubanks received at the hospital that day proved to be the opening dose of a costly addiction to prescription painkillers - one that revolved around commonly prescribed drug Oxycontin, he said.

“I learned to manipulate doctors … I could literally get whatever I wanted. Telling them I’d been shot at Columbine and lost my best friend was like [getting] an open prescription book from any doctor.”

He could not process the grief, moreso, he didn't want to. He didn't want to be haunted by the memories that scarred him. In his own words, he would describe the physical ailments he felt to be a 4 or 5, but the emotional turmoil was a 10.

Austin never set foot back to Columbine. His parents hired a tutor and he then went on to graduate in 2000. He attended the Columbine ceremonies but never went back inside the school. He then went into advertising and married in his early 20s. Around this time his substance abuse escalated, and his first attempt to get sober was in 2006. He went into a 30-day inpatient program but failed within hours of leaving, for  relapsing using pain pills and Adderall. 

Addiction and Sobriety 

He failed both outpatient and rehab twice and it wasn't until 10 years later, in 2009 that he was able to overcome this addiction. Right before Columbine, young Austin had been misdiagnosed with ADD. 

“I didn’t have ADD,” said Eubanks. “I just liked being outdoors and playing golf better than being in school. At that time, if anybody was truant at school they said, ‘Oh, they must be ADD. Let’s put them on a stimulant.’ That was why I got Adderall. I liked it because I could abuse opiate pain medication to the level that most people would be nodding out. With Adderall, I could function. Basically, I was doing oral speedballs. It was like using methamphetamine and heroin.”

His second try at being sober was in 2008. Gaining the motivation to change after recently separating from his wife, he went to treatment, stayed 90 days, and achieved eight months of sobriety. Then, he akinned addiction to a causal sequence, a domino effect. According to him, he achieved abstinence for a period of time, built up enough false confidence to where he thought he could drink, because alcohol was never a problem. From alcohol, he went to weed, then Xanax, then Oxycontin, and then back into the same routine.

In 2011, approaching the age of 30 and estranged from his wife and kids, he hit rock bottom: "My sobriety date is April 2, 2011. I woke up in a jail cell and had no clue how I got there." His downward spiral began with Oxycontin and alcohol abuse, leading to arrests for various offenses like car theft and fraud. Realizing that he needed a drastic change, he recounted that his lowest moment was waking up in withdrawal, hungover, and facing the ruins of his marriage and being estranged from his children. He knew he had to stop or he would die. After unsuccessful attempts at sobriety, he finally sought help, surrendered to treatment, and was now willing to follow any guidance to rebuild his life.

His journey to lasting sobriety didn't hinge on traditional 12-step programs, but rather on understanding behavioral triggers and brain function through a therapeutic community approach. He was five years sober and started working at The Foundry in Colorado, becoming the COO and handling approaches that combined neuroscience with 12-step principles, recognizing that each person's path to recovery is unique. Using comprehensive approaches aiming to rebuild the lives of those in recovery.

During this time, he would also indulge in old activities in remembrance of his bestfriend.

“It’s something I do to connect with Corey. It's always nice whenever I catch a fish that's above the normal or something special about it. I always tend to look up and give a nod to him. And I know he’s still looking out for me."

Sadly, despite his long battle against drug addiction, in 2019, Austin had passed away in his home in Colorado after an accidental heroin overdose. Just a month after the 20th anniversary of Columbine, Austin was 37 at the time.

What is Pain?

Pain, to Austin, encompassed many things: the confusion and vulnerability of not knowing what to do in such a time of terror, the physical wounds that the doctors tried to medicate to bring the pain meter to zero, and most importantly, the emotional hurt of knowing your best friend was gone, taken right in front of you. Knowing that very moment can never be undone.

His advice for survivors dealing with the same guilt is to feel it. Don't run away from it. Survivors often find other things that allow them to detach from the pain, but to him, that's the wrong choice.

“You can heal physical pain while you’re medicating it. You cannot heal emotional pain while you are medicating it, In order to heal emotional pain, you have to feel it ... You want to feel better immediately, [but] you have to have the courage to sit in and feel it, and if you can do that long enough, you will come out on the other side.”

Along with post-traumatic stress, there is also the potential for post-traumatic growth.

“That doesn’t imply you will ever be the same person again. After a trauma, you will be changed forever.”

[hananoami]

New 5-Star Memory⚠️ [Xavier: Deluded Fiction]

The days spent with him are like finding candy in a desolate ruin. Unconditional trust makes you addicted. Do you know that he also longs to… be bound with you day and night? "You didn't abandon me, yet you didn't want me to die either? That right?"

⚠️Tomorrow's Catch-22

Event Duration: 5:00 AM, Feb. 10 - 4:59 AM, Feb. 27 (Server Time) You can select three out of the five event-limited 5-Star Memories, [Xavier: Deluded Fiction], [Zayne: Immediate Disorder], [Rafayel: Extreme Dose], [Sylus: Innocent Birdcage], and [Caleb: Tainted Cuts]. The drop rate of the 3 Memories you selected will be significantly increased. If you obtain a 5-Star Memory in a wish, there's a 75% chance it will be one of the 3 Memories you selected.

*Tips:

During the event, you can change your selected Memories at any time. If you obtain a 5-Star Memory in a wish, there's a 25% chance that it will be an unselected Memory or a permanent 5-Star Memory.

After the event ends, the five event-limited Memories will not be obtainable through other means and will not enter the permanent Wish Pool: Xspace Echo.

The wish event features the Precise Wish and a pity system. You can check more details in upcoming event announcements.

⚠️Limited Gift: Cumulative Wish Rewards

During the event, after making a certain number of Wishes, you can claim various rewards: Universal Facial [Silverblade Rhapsody], [Deepspace Wish: Limited ×20], His [Memory-Themed Outfits], Limited Gift [Memory-Themed Hairstyle], and selectable Event-Limited 5-Star Memory. *The cumulative rewards are only available during this Wish event.

⚠️Limited-Time Memory Growth Bonus

During the event, you can claim various Upgrade and Ascension Materials by completing the growth tasks. When the event-limited Memories reach Rank 1, you can claim the [Special-Colored Memory-Themed Outfit] for the corresponding love interest.

⚠️Special: Memory-Themed Outfit Bonus

Each Original or Special-Colored Outfit Set includes a Memory-Themed Outfit and Facial. All can be used separately.

[darlingofvalyria]

As lovers, you and Aegon were the best. As exes, you and him might be the actual worst. But he can't help himself, and you're powerless to your own desires. A Halloween Party, more than hard liquor, and glances that attempts to stifle stares of want— everything comes to a catalyst.

╰┈➤ PROMPTS ❝ INTOXICATED, DOM/SUB DYNAMICS ❞

[ +18 MDNI ] [ 2,359 ] [ masterlist ] | Modern!AU Aegon Targaryen II x F!Reader

contains— smut, angsty - exes to lovers, frat parties, college au!, possessive, cheating (not you or aeg), intoxication - messy sex for the messy exes, sorta toxic if you squint - petnames: sweet angel, sweet girl, sweetheart - mention of drug usage, slight hint addiction - nsfw: fingering, overstimulation, marking, dubcon + enthusiastic agreement, degradation, praise kink, dom!aeg— dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink if you squint, creampie - no betas.

a/n— hopefully this works for the request! it's a little... sadder and smuttier, but hey! ahahah! this is why i don't do daily kinktober. as an overwriter, it's just not possible to be quick jsdhjsh. comment, reblog & like at will, mi luvs, mwa!

It starts with, "Don't look, it's your ex."

And you pause. You freeze. You physically feel the adrenaline course through each and which way vein in your system, finding the end of your epidermis and hairline. It's a lot and you still have yet to land your eyes on him. The punch you've been offered not long ago that's slowly been condensing between your fingers register in your brain as cold, a drink, alcoholic— that you toss your head back and chug.

You sputter and choke afterward, your friend slamming her hand on your back in sympathy. "F-fuck. That's gross."

"Dude," she nervously giggles. "I don't think you were supposed to throat shot that."

"It tastes chemical, like chugging a nuclear reactor. I don't recommend it either." You exchange each hand to wipe the wetness on your skirt and holding your glass, trying to settle your nerves. "Where is he?"

"Got waylaid by two frat brothers, Dumb and Dumber, I think... think he's chatting up— yep, Frat President, with... an Olsen Twin on his lap. Fuck. I'm sorry, bestie."

You try to laugh but it comes out strangled. Because of course. Aegon is a pretty comet who streaks by, just as pretty and just as infrequent, coming to pass like a godly miracle and people just devours him.

Because he's Aegon, always the shiniest star, the bestest friend, somehow everyone's first something. First kiss, first messy hookup, first 'and he did this thing with his tongue, oh my gods, I saw five stars and the moon!', etcetera.

You aren't his first love and you sure as shit aren't going to be his first heartbreak. You wonder how many heartbreaks it'll be tonight; there's a running tally of three heartbreaks within one party, a fantastical rumour, a proud, mysogynistic chidding between male friends— before you got together with him, before your sphere ever clashed with Aegon Targaryen when he too was just a comet to you, a moon, an asteroid— always on orbit but always outside, unknown to the taste of his lips when he giggles between kisses, nor the pretty sighs when your fingers find the bulge in his pants.

Fuck. You're getting teary and you're in your first Halloween party since breaking up with Aegon. You got dressed up and had gotten your makeup done by your more creative friend.

You need to stop wasting emotions and cruelly painful thoughts for the star haired boy.

"Fuck it. Where's the hard drugs?"

Your friend snorts. "I'm not letting you do hard drugs. I am going to do very nice grass with you from very nice people on the sofa already hallucinating."

"Fine. But we're doing shots."

Aegon didn't see you the first time he arrived, but he will always, always find you in a crowd.

It's your laughter that triggers it this time, a sound embedded in his bones that he turns like a dog at the sound, as if finding his master. And then you're there, loose and happy, his heart stuttering at the pure joy and fun in your face, in your body, as you swayed slightly the beat, holding a freshly emptied shot glass.

He swallows. Fuck. You're still so pretty.

Your makeup is done sharper, your lips glossy and bright— a cherry red. His mouth watering when you pout dramatically at your friend, the pulsing lights caressing every dip and bow, every curve and edge of you. Your hair is loose, framing your face with a fake, paper halo over your head that sparkles in glitter, matching the body glitter across your shoulders and collarbones, even the peeks of your thighs under the white, silk dress that, with a jump in his throat, has his cock standing at attention.

He knows that dress.

He remembers the ghostly echoes of the lace detailing atop your chest, how it feels under his palms when he skates his hand over to squeeze your tits, the feel of the silk against his stomach when you lean over his body as your pussy flutters, clenching, while you roll and grind against him, trying to find pleasure—

"Fucking hell," he downs the punchy, mysterious liquid that's just straight vodka with rum, soda and strawberry syrup (absolutely disgusting but good enough for college students on a Friday), because he's fucking hard, and you're just there, oblivious, dancing, looking gorgeous, and his heart is aching. You're everything he's ever want, desired and should have kept better care for— fuck all the arguments, all the fights, all the stupid little reasons that he can't remember anymore why you two broke up —

And his stare is heated, penetrative, because the next thing he knows you're looking back at him. A thread of swallowing gaze, of empty thought but the baseborn sound of a Halloween party and two people who can't look away. Their past is twisted between them, their future uncertain, but their present is here and the want is certain.

The shared heat is gone when a hand is on his shoulder and he is forcibly turned. Qoren Martell shakes his head, lips turned down.

"No, dude. That's a bad idea."

And Aegon smirks because that's what's expected of him. His fingers tingle as he clench and unclench them. He can't be seen mooning over an ex.

"Not if she wants it."

It's a douchebag reply, an Aegon Second of His Name reply, but Qoren knows him better than that, even Jason who's not even looking at him, staring at Solana who was grinding against some frat bro from Beta Theta while staring directly at him.

Aegon snorts when Qoren smacks Jason's head.

"So that's why you didn't bring Johanna, you fucker." Aegon takes another beer, itching for the paraphernalia hot in his pocket. You've turned away and the itch is back, low but steady.

Jason shrugs. "I don't know what you mean."

"I am not babysitting both of you, motherfucks," Qoren mutters. "You're both responsible of your mistakes tonight I'm meeting Somi tomorrow and neither of you messy fuckers are going to ruin that for me, alright?" With that, he slaps a hand on both of their backs, making Jason curse as his beer spills.

When Aegon watches Qoren leave, he turns back to you and see you're already staring, irises too wide, full lips slightly open, and the thrum of heat, nice and striking, runs down his body.

He's going to fuck you. Or you're going to fuck him. It's set in stone, written in fate's ink. When you move away, his stare hooked on you, he smirks the moment you turn back to see if he's still watching, starving, and cocking your head as if asking,

Not going to follow?

But of course he does, it's you and him.

It doesn't start with a kiss. It's a hungry stare meeting in a bathroom mirror spotted by dry water, and he knows what you need, taking your hair in his hand as he stands beside you, tugging you toward him as a gasp leaves your lips, your hands winding to his hips, anchoring yourself.

"How much have you had?" he asks, moving his hand to your neck, stroking the edge of your jaw, watching your wet lashes and licking lips. "Come on, sweet angel." His other hand moves to the edge of your white silk, running his nails across your thighs.

"Does it matter? I want you." A breathy whimper leaves your lips as his mouth latches on your neck, tugging your hair to the side to start sucking bruises as his hand finds your panties and a groan rips out of him.

"You're this wet, sweet angel? All for me?"

"I was grinding on, hhh— Jon, don't flatter your—" You yelp, a sounding slap on your wet cunt and your wetness clings to his hand. You squirm in his hold, but he tightens, cupping your centre with his thick hand.

"This is my pussy," he hums sweetly, cheekily, but you know better. Aegon got sweeter when he was jealous. He smiled brighter when he got angry. He goaded when he hears warning in someone's voice. Daring them. Daring you. "How fucking dare you let someone— Snow, that creepy, depressed asshole, really, sweetheart? — my pussy?"

A flash of heat in your eyes meets his mullish blue gaze. Heat and hurt. "We've broken up, Aeg. You don't get to own me."

His heart thrums, head swimming— but not much as yours. You don't do drugs as hard as him, and you've been hitting something tonight. Your irises are wider, blacker even when you're turned on. You kept wetting your lips even as slick already covers your gloss. With a hum, he thrusts two of his fingers inside without preamble and you keen, arching against him as he kept a steady, fast pace, using the meat of his palm every few chuckles to rub your clit until your leg shakes.

"F-fuck, fuck, Aeg—" Your hands hold onto him for dear life as you feel your orgasm tide but he doesn't let up, continues his humming with his fingers, his mouth sucking your neck until you feel slobbered through the haze, until it starts to hurt with your overstimulation, forming bruises continually sucked on— and you cum again, too fast and too painful the second time. Pushed rather than pulled into the peak and he coos as he slows once you start crying out, tears in your eyes, mouth agape, patting your pussy and even you can hear the squelch.

His last pat is more of a slap, making you jolt and wail.

He smiles as he meets your watery gaze in the mirror, leaning back against the tiled wall to pull your skirt up, bracing you against his knee so you can see your wet and abused fluffy folds.

"What'd I tell you, darling? This is mine. Even she recognises me when you couldn't. For being an angel, you sure do got a mean streak."

You sniffle, nodding along in your hazy mind. "S-sorry. I'm sorry, Aeg."

"Aw, it's okay, only hurt my heart a little." He gives you a sweet peck on the cheek, fingers running down the wet path of freshly forming bruises on your neck. "I've missed you s'all."

"Me too. I-I've missed you too, baby," you say, eyes burning as you blink at the sincerity, smile turning a little softer, more real. "Wanna feel you."

"You already did, sweets, you did well too. How many special grass have you had?"

"Just okay." You twist in his hold, his knee straightening as you turn to him with your hands on his chest, looking up, pouting. "But I want you."

His cock throbs and you feel it against your thigh, but his face remains neutral, tinged with amusement as if he doesn't want to hoist you and fuck you into oblivion.

"It seems such the angel has forgotten her manners." He presses his thumb against your lip until he pushes it deeper, pressing it against your tongue before letting you suck on it, lashes fluttering.

"That's not what we say when want something. Use your words properly, baby," he mock, heat sizzling inside you, cunt throbbing. Though pleasing him has always been how your dynamic works, enjoying the way your mind blanks, filled only with the desire to be his sweet girl, his good girl while he relishes in dominating you.

Physically manhandling you was one thing, puppeteering your wants to mould his was another.

Loss of control was a soft tissue in Aegon's armour. And though you had gotten close, he had never opened up that part of him.

It was one of the reasons you broke up.

Your intoxicated-addled mind comprehends that, to a level, this is bad, but b, he's close, distracting you with his presence, his thumb on your mouth a familiar action, and you never get just one orgasm from Aegon so it doesn't linger long. The thought vanishes like a salt-licked ghost from a too recent past before you're holding on his hand and you're smiling sweetly.

"I want you to feel good too, Aeg," you whisper. "I want your cock inside me."

And he smiles— won, lost, who knows anymore. "There she is."

The next events are truly hazy. All you can remember is that he's close, closer than he's been in months, in you and stuck to you, snapping his hips against yours while your legs are up and jelly, bunched up in his arms while you hold strong against the wall.

The world is mush of thought, tongue, and messy kisses that are more spit and moan between your familiar, favourite cock driving into you again and again. A steady, almost sweetly, rock of his hips driving into that spongy, hard part of you that makes your toes curl and the pleasure to overwhelm. There's sweat and there are tender presses of his lips on your face when you both calm down, almost too sweetly, too needy for the Aegon that you know.

But every time you're about to come down from that high, he's rocking into you again, squeezing your thighs, your tits, using the mess of your cum and his to rub against your clit, and you're gone again.

The pleasure, driven again and again, wipes your memory of the more tender words he murmurs against your skin.

"L-love you so much, baby, god, you don't know how much I've missed you."

"You cumming again? T-that's a good girl, so sweet f'me, fuck, so good."

You don't know how you got to the room the morning, but you're dry and clean and the morning is stale but not head pounding. And you wake up alone, no trace of Aegon at all.

If it wasn't for the trail of bruised kisses against your throat, the throbbing between your legs, full of shared cum when you dip a finger in— you could've said he was nothing more than a ghost of the past, a pretty little dream.

Hooking up with your ex ends with a toughened heart, too empty to cry as you read a message from him.

BLOCK HIM: i'm sorry.

[madamegemknight]

Two years ago today, Season 3 of CGI MOTU came out! I made a fanmix about it, because I miss my blorbos caught in a horrible cycle of rebirth and recreation that forces them away from the identities they finally shaped for themselves, Tails. I miss them a lot. I'll be back.

(contains very minor spoilers for fraggle rock: back to the rock on side a's sixth track and side b's 4th track. nothing too serious but just in case 👍)

SIDE A: i shine only with the light you gave me - on the monster who forced herself into your head, and the future that she swore would be your own as long as you obeyed.

1. GHOST - Honey I'm Home // 2. Kill Lincoln - Who Am I This Time? // 3. The Mystic Knights of The Oingo Boingo - Louise // 4. The Crane Wives - Curses // 5. Kikuo - The Good Child and The Fox Spirit // 6. Karen Prell - Once Upon a Time (I Knew My Name) // 7. Lemon Demon - Spiral of Ants // 8. Steam Powered Giraffe - Eat Your Heart // 9. sodikken - people eater // 10. The Crane Wives - The Moon Will Sing

SIDE B: you've almost convinced me i'm real - on the lack of true heart lodged in your chest, and the realization that they only love you for being the person you never were.

1. Louie Zong - Signal/Noise // 2. nelward - GHOST // 3. Oingo Boingo - Same Man I Was Before // 4. Jordan Lockhart - Who Is Me? // 5. Penelope Scott - Sweet Hibiscus Tea // 6. Jerry Nelson - Once I Knew My Name // 7. Steam Powered Giraffe - Brass Goggles // 8. Five Star - System Addict // 9. Brian David Gilbert - i wish that i could wear hats // 10. Daft Punk - Touch

[itspheenixbaby]

the soul members (2/2)

a bimbo, a cheapskate, a tree hugger, a shopaholic, a vapehead, a bad b*tch & a smut writer walk into a bar

minus myself since i get a separate post

⋆｡°✩ sao paolo sunset - saib ⋆｡°✩

"you don't need a smug 'I told you so' from me...& smug it would be because tell you I most certainly did."

woke up this mornin' - lightning hopkins.

name ; aaliyah jean adefolake 🍎

nickname(s) ; AJ

race ; west african

nationality ; hatian & african american (north carolina)

origin ; fordham, south bronx, bronx, nyc

birthday ; 12/3/02

rep color ; orange

MBTI ; ESTJ

personality ; simple, honest, grounded, mature, hardworking, know-it-all

enjoys ; cooking, nature, walks, handywork.

the "mom" of the group.

ridiculously large appetite.

gives really good advice.

dog person.

"its like meow-schwitz in there."

on & on - erykah badu

name ; lotus atabeys 🦋

nickname(s) ; N/A

race ; taino

nationality ; solvaridan-american

origin ; crown heights, brooklyn, nyc

birthday ; 3/7/03

rep color ; yellow

MBTI ; ISFP

personality ; pushover, quiet, kind, animal lover

enjoys ; volunteer work, gardening,

the "quiet" one.

nasty temper when provoked.

goody two shoes.

shes so sensitive she'll cry at anything 😭😭

"my god.... what color is this, crack whore red!?"

diamomds are a girls best friend - marilyn monroe

name ; siegelinde kim 🪡

nickname(s) : siege

race ; east asian

nationality ; hatian-american

origin ; UWS, manhattan, nyc

birthday ; 2/14/02

rep color ; green

position ; visual

personality ; creative, bold, dramatic, generous,

enjoys ; sketching designs, sewing, painting, arts & crafts

MBTI ; ENFJ

as a kid her dream job was a bravo housewife.

quintessential fashion icon.

the "diva" member.

rich parents but has credit card debt.

shopping addiction.

cat person.

"ill hate crime your ass right here"

i cant drive 55 - sammy hagar

name ; selena chukwudum 🌈

nicknames ; suki, studtastic

race ; west african & east asian

nationality ; solvardian-american

origin ; flatbush, brooklyn, nyc

birthday ; 3/29/03

rep color ; blue

personality ; loyal, laid back, playful, carefree, tease, cocky

enjoys ; vaping, jogging, art, pranks

MBTI ; ESTP

captain of the terrible driver line. shes just too fast!

so blunt its problematic. most idols initially think shes mean.

was a stud in high school but now shes more of a stem. (unlabeled sexuality)

the "cool" member.

"i swear to God, you people make me want to pump nerve gas through the vents!"

pour some sugar on me - def lepperd

name ; regina yucahus 🔥

nickname(s) ; foxy roxy, raggedy ann, roxy

race ; mixed

nationality ; puerto rican-american

origin ; crown heights, brooklyn, nyc

birthday ; 6/5/02

personality ; loner, intimidating, short temper, introspective, empathetic, sensible, non chalant

rep color ; indigo

enjoys ; journaling, playing guitar, shoplifting

MBTI ; ENTJ

the "rebel" of the group.

resting bitch face.

unintentionally mean.

used to be a prof. poker.

has been expelled five times since elementary school.

"imma write a book about this place. mhm, a real smack-a-rooney"

oh no! - marina&thediamonds

name ; jodhi mukherjee 📚

nickname(s) ; jojo ☆

race ; south asian

nationality ; trinidadian-american

origin ; astoria, queens, nyc.

birthday ; 10/18/03

rep color ; purple

position ; center, fotg

personality ; organized, anxious, uptight

enjoys ; studying, reading, writing

MBTI ; INTP -> ENFJ

smut / fanfic writer since middle school.

astronomy major.

the "smart" member.

has a star shaped burn mark on her left shoulder.

abt my dr, for context ;

the carribbean has a bigger east asian diaspora

new island called solvarida.

systemic racism, indigenous genocide & slavery didnt happen.

black people mostly have non-euro surnames.

different concept of race. the terms "black" or "white" arent used.

[illarian-rambling]

I heard ghost ship in space and came running :)

So I’m not 100% certain how your cast fits into the ghost ship unless I’m vastly misunderstanding what you mean by ghost ship but I’m here to ask questions all the same because I love characters. Here goes:

I’m going to assume at least some of the characters are either from or end up forming a spaceship crew (feel free to ignore this if not) so I’m curious what roles they end up playing (like who’s the captain, the mechanic, the helm officer, etc)? What ways do they suit those roles and what ways do they really not suit those roles?

What’s their goal? Do they all agree on it? I feel like going out into the death void that is Illarian space isn’t something you do unless you have a plan of what you want

How do they react to the unique challenges of space? Like I love space, but the tiny living quarters, lack of natural light or nature of any kind, spending time in a small environment with the same five people, rationing, knowledge that any minor damage to your ship could kill you… it’s not for the faint of heart. Are they used to it? How do they cope (or not)?

I hope some of these help the brainstorming :)

This helps so much, thank you!

So, by ghost ship, I mean the characters for this are gonna be ghosts. Essentially, the vague idea is that some mages on Illaros found out that there's this 'mysterious wall' at the edge of their solar system, and they want to launch a ship into space to check it out while also investigating some of the other planets along the way because yay first space travel! However, technology hasn't progressed to space suit level. The ship is actually just a wooden ship with a runic engine that they're teleporting into space via a teleportation rune etched on basically a manhole cover they managed to launch up there by putting it on top of a well with a bomb at the bottom. They know they don't have the means for survival up there, so what do they do? They go to a Chosen priest and ask them to summon up some ghosts.

At this point, the gods have a vested interest in this mission. A few ghosts might be small enough to slip past End unnoticed and find out if there's anything else in the universe. But they don't want to give up their best and brightest on what's likely a suicide mission, so they pick some screw-ups with a few skills to send instead, promising them a better place in the afterlife should they succeed. Some divine magic allows the ghosts to be bound to the ship and off the mission goes!

The thing about all these fuckers being dead though, is that they don't need a lot of traditional ship stuff. Especially since it's a magic ship that mostly flies by itself. I've got five crew members planned out, each with a role.

Faalgun Falani is the captain. He was a renowned Flying City pilot until his gambling addiction got him fired and eventually beaten to death. He's an uptight sort who tries to adhere to a code of honor, even though he often slips up. Out of all of the crew, he knows the most about space and the other planets, as the Flying City travels between planets frequently. I think he really wants to get into his religion's heaven to prove that he's not a total failure. Maybe he's got family or a lover there too? Who knows!

Nyda Burningrock is an astronomer who died about 400 years before the story takes place. She's Nabafyrian and has a bit of a complex about not being an adept fighter in such a martial culture, despite her rough and tumble nature. She was actually the first to theorize that the 'stars' move under their own power more than what's accounted for by gravity and the rotation of the planet, and she found a way to predict those movements, but unfortunately, she didn't write anything down or cite any sources. Her end came when she decided to travel to the realm of the Fair Folk to observe the sky there. She lasted about 15 minutes before getting hunted for sport by a fae lord.

Kaulakri Placeholdersurname is gonna be a sort of foil for Nyda, I think. She's a halawemavish selkie and the ship's cartographer, as well as a natural historian. She has beef with Nyda because mapmakers have been trying to replicate Nyda's method of predicting the unpredictable movements of Illari stars for centuries, but again, Nyda wrote literally nothing down. Kaulakri, on the other hand, writes everything down. She's neat and orderly and unfortunately wasn't able to get her comprehensive map of the world's ocean currents organized in time before she died of a random stomach bug.

Pashananath (Pash for short) is the ship's negotiator, for if they encounter any life beyond the wall of End. He's one of the Fair Folk and grew up in the Hive (a vast compound city ruled by a powerful fae demigod). His Contribution (an important concept for fae) was music. He was quite the musician, but due to his faculty for languages, he also worked as a honeytongue - essentially a smooth-talker/jester for hire in Fair Folk society. He died very young for one of the Fair Folk when another fae decided to kill him for playing a pitchy song. Pash isn't too mad about this (fae morals are weird), even if the rest of the crew things he should be.

And finally, there's Anarac. The scientists didn't ask for him, but the gods sent him anyways. No one knows what his specialty is because he never talks. He's the longest dead out of all of them and is one of the extinct Araunian people.

With such a cast, I'm hoping there'll be a good deal of tension. I don't think they actually know much about End (besides Anarac), except that the Chosen who summoned them said it's dangerous, so they arent worried about it nearly as much as they should be. I'm hoping that Nyda and Kaulakri can have a fun rivalry, while Pash might be the son figure Anarac needs, and leading these people to success will help Faalgun stop thinking he's a failure.

I'll probably structure it more episodically, with fun stuff happening at each planet they stop to explore. I have no idea what's gonna happen when they reach End's blockade, but I guess I can figure that out later. I think the main environmental problem for a ship full of dead people would be that if they get too far from the ship, they start to lose their ability to stay corporeal, then they just fade away.

Lmk if you have any more questions or suggestions! I think this really helped me with getting things straight in my mind, so thanks a ton <3

[luckystar2025]

Konata: (excited) “Alright, ladies and gentlemen, the moment of truth! I’ve been saving my primogems for three whole weeks. Time to roll for the new five-star waifu!”

Kagami: (arms crossed) “Oh great, another one of these.”

Tsukasa: (tilting head) “What’s a primogem?”

Miyuki: (adjusting glasses) “Primogems are a premium in-game currency used in Genshin Impact to summon characters through a randomized system known as ‘gacha.’ The term originates from Japanese capsule toy vending machines.”

Kagami: (scoffing) “Yeah, yeah, I know what gacha is. What I don’t understand is why Konata keeps falling for it.”

Konata: (grinning) “Falling? No, no, Kagamin. I am a master strategist. I have studied the drop rates. I have calculated my pity. This is a guaranteed win.”

Kagami: (flatly) “You sound like a gambling addict.”

Konata: (dramatic) “Gacha isn’t gambling! Gambling is when you can actually win money.”

Tsukasa: (nervous) “Isn’t that worse?”

Konata: (ignoring her) “Alright, first ten-pull. Let’s gooooo!”

(She taps the screen. A flashy animation plays. The tension builds. The results appear—)

Konata: (staring) “...Four-star weapon.”

Kagami: (smug) “Wow. So worth the three weeks of saving.”

Konata: (gritting teeth) “It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m just building pity.”

Miyuki: “Statistically, the more times you fail to pull a five-star, the higher your chances become, up until a guaranteed threshold—”

Kagami: “Miyuki, please don’t enable her.”

Tsukasa: (cheerfully) “Oh! I rolled yesterday and got the five-star first try!”

Konata: (freezes)

Kagami: (grinning) “Oh, this is gonna be good.”

Konata: (slowly) “Tsukasa… you what?”

Tsukasa: (smiling) “Yeah! I had some gems saved up, so I pulled, and she showed up on my first summon! She’s really cute!”

Konata: (clutching head) “I hate this game.”

Kagami: (laughing) “Oh, now you say it!”

[barbatos-sama]

i started playing a new gacha game that's kind of like gembin but it's very girly and instead of wishing for characters you wish for clothes and the whole world and lore is centered around magic clothes n shit ahdhfj. it cute and the game itself looks really good visually, and like most gacha games its free.

something that surprised me and turned me off though is that when wishing for outfits you aren't actually pulling for the entire outfit, you have to pull it piece by piece and its random which pieces you get. that's A Lot for me, it really complicates the wish system imo. you get five stars more often but if you really want the full set of a specific outfit i would imagine over all you'd need to wish Way More than in gembin. it honestly feels a lot more stingy and predatory to me because like, lets see i got about 80 free wishes from just signing up and playing a little right? i didn't get a single full outfit with 80 wishes. that includes Three Star outfits. i imagine trying to get a limited five star outfit in its entirety would be really hard especially if you were trying to be free to play. it really tanked my interest in the game. don't get me wrong they give you a few free full outfits so ur character isn't walking around looking like a disaster but the whole thing just seems like, kind of ridiculous for lack of a better word.

i think it really targets completionists since they'll undoubtedly end up with incomplete outfits, and that combined with an addictive personality could lead to someone wishing a whole shit ton to complete outfits. and in general there's just More To Get in this game which would incentivize gambling more. i'm not going to defend gembin since it's a gacha game but it's way less complicated in my opinion?? there's characters and weapons that's it. you wish for a character, you get the character. you wish for a weapon you get a weapon. you can wish for constellations/refinements but they're only small improvements to the characters/weapons, not a necessity. in this game though since you have to wish piece by piece there's so Many different categories of clothes. hair, hats, dresses, skirts, shorts, tops, socks, shoes, hair accessories, bags, bracelets, necklaces, some even have Gloves and other specific accessories like Wands. and if i wasn't already turned off by having so many different things needed to complete a set, imagine my reaction when i learned there's MAKEUP too. eyebrows, eyelashes, lipstick, eyeliner, contacts, blush. some of these makeup looks had such little difference i couldn't even tell them apart.

the reason i'm even comparing it to gembin is because the reason i tried it out was that i saw ppl on bluesky and twitter praising it and saying it was better than gembin, but now that ive played it im like?? the only real thing in common that the two games have is that they're gacha games with exploration, there's little reason to compare the two beyond that at least from what i've played so far? there's no combat in this game, no characters to build, and the lore and story seems very simple compared to gembin's extremely detailed and expansive lore. i'm not saying they're Wrong for liking this new game more but what i am saying is that the games aren't really comparable, the reason you guys like it more is because it's a different Genre, this is a casual experience focusing a lot on dress up with some exploration. gembin is heavily combat based, they're just not the same kind of game. it's just kind of frustrating seeing people clowning on gembin and praising a game that i think is more greedy and predatory.

there are 450 pieces of clothing/accesories/etc in this game as of right now apparently, and the game just released a few days ago. if it follows the typical gacha formula they will be adding more and more items frequently so there will be even more stuff to wish for coming out frequently, so realistically there is no way to actually complete every outfit unless you're rich as balls.

[diningwiththeasquiths]

Jaccard - Part One

Even a renowned Head Chef at one of the most prestigious restaurants in the world can become persona non grata, apparently. All it takes is one coke rage incident.  700 words

Gen, but can be read as NYC Chef x Carmen

Carmen’s usually not early for Al-Anon meetings, but today he is. The restaurant’s walls were kinda closing in on him, so he had to go, leave, go go go.

Things seemed to be under control when he left—that was the weird thing, he can’t quite pinpoint what it was that triggered him this time—so he doesn’t feel too bad when he has time to stand around idle before the meeting starts, outside in the shadow of the church so he can have a smoke.

The meeting preceding the one he’ll be attending has concluded, and people are beginning to exit through the wooden door next to him. He nearly stubs out his cigarette on the side of the building, thinks better of it and drops it on the sidewalk where he steps on it on his way to the entrance, before coming face to face with Chef Frederick, the Head Chef of the New York restaurant he used to work at, before.

After the first piercing shock to his system has somewhat faded—running into the man is like being dunked into a bath of ice water—he notes that the other doesn’t seem as smug or menacing as he remembers him (even if he still towers over him). In fact, he seems lightly mortified to be seen here. Right. According to the noticeboard he’d been staring at earlier, Frederick has just been to an NA meeting.

The feeling of panic gets replaced by awkwardness. He should just leave, enter the building, sit through the meeting, never be early again. 

Frederick breaks the silence before he can make a run for it.

“Hey.” Spoken like he’s daring him to say something. 

Well fuck, now he has to make conversation. His mind glitches. 

“Hey. What uh, what are you doing here in Chicago?”

Frederick stares at him and lifts his brows, so Carmen feels forced to fill the silence. He doesn’t manage to make things any less awkward. 

“Apart from going to NA meetings, I mean. S-sorry, it’s really none of my business. Look, I- I uh- I should be going, I don’t wanna be late-”

“I had a coke addiction,” says Frederick, sounding like it pains him to be explaining this to Carmen, even though Carmen gave him an out, “Have a coke addiction. And it got serious enough that they fired me over it. And I lost everything. And my mother lives in Chicago, so now I do too.”

He looks at Carmen like he’s expecting him to say something disparaging, to get his sweet revenge for all those months of verbal destruction. But Carmen finds he doesn’t have it in him, kicking Frederick when he’s down. In fact, call him the (figuratively) bigger person, because he genuinely hopes Frederick is doing better.

“You’ve completed rehab?”

“Two months, three weeks and five days clean now.” 

It doesn’t sound like he’s proud of it.

“That’s great, man.”

Frederick shrugs off the compliment like a cheap jacket. 

“So where do you work now?”

Wrong question, Carmen thinks, cringing at the way Frederick’s eyes narrow and his lips press together. He knows that look of displeasure all too well. Still has nightmares about it sometimes.

Even a renowned Head Chef at one of the most prestigious restaurants in the world can become persona non grata, apparently. And all it takes is one coke rage incident. Frederick doesn’t expand on it, so Carmen’s mind comes up with at least a dozen different scenarios, all of them seeming very plausible to him. 

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The version of Chef Frederick he’s built up in his head reshapes into the man standing before him. A man with weaknesses, and struggles of his own. The chef’s whites replaced by a dark green T-shirt, even though the dark-rimmed glasses and scowl remain the same. 

“My restaurant has a job opening,” he hears himself say. It’s true, but he regrets mentioning it as soon as the words leave his mouth. He’s quick to add, “We don’t have a star yet and you’ll start as a Chef de Partie. It’s a big demotion, so-”

“When can I start, Chef?”

Carmen curses himself and his stupid fucking mouth all the way through the Al-Anon meeting and his way back to The Bear.

Chef Frederick starts tomorrow.

Tbh I think Chef looks more like a Gideon, but I have horrible associations with that name. Does the name Frederick suit him? Should I change it to something else? Maybe season 3 will finally give us a canon name! Might write a part two, but for now this is a one-shot This now has a Part Two.

[fuzzyghost]

[hopecorps]

the way people talk about addicts when they are bad people who do bad things is really informed by the way they feel about addicts as a whole and it comes up every time someone in the public eye is struggling with addiction there is a lack of nuance or empathy at all

ranting about the liam thing sorry

like liam payne was an exceedingly shitty dude for a long time largely unbeknownst to the public for a great period of that. And Also he was a child on television at age fourteen, in one of the world's largest boy bands of all time for five years, and then was openly struggling with addiction for about ten years before he died. other people in his life and other people in the band were openly worried about him for years and he never got help and now he never will And Also he will never have to take real accountability for shit that was JUST coming out about him. like in the last seven days.

i feel like any conversation about any emotion other than like. immediate happiness about him dying is met with judgement because he was a bad person and therefore deserved to die extremely publicly while extremely high

like idk. he still would have done shitty things maybe if he wasnt an addict and im not saying that like. it made him do shitty things but i'm saying that the world was introduced to a talented fourteen year old and by the time he was like twenty one he was visibly struggling and he never got help for ten years and he hurt people who will never get justice because he died before they could

and of course people who watched him struggle and fall so deep into addiction and violence for half their lives when they were introduced to him in like the first wave of parasocial media when he was a teenager have complex feelings about that relationship holy shit. of course they do

people like flat out do not want other people to get help and it's exceedingly obvious when someone does shitty things as an addict and therefore deserve punishment by death.

like i really wish he was alive right now to get sued and get serious help and like. now maya is not only going to get serious backlash for something that isn't her fault, but also she is never going to get like. justice. she'll never get an apology from him or a payout or be taken seriously. neither will anyone else. like this is the worse case scenario and people have complex feelings when shit like this happens like.

i found out he died like ten minutes after it happened and there were already people who were like. well you cannot be sad because you are talking over victims. i am sad FOR the victims. i am sad for the lack of help that was offered to this man and the fact that the reason he died is also the reason he continued to spiral out of control and hurt other people and i'm sad that the lack of help prevented him from being held accountable and im sad that people who are struggling with addiction in general have to deal with the stereotypes of this kind of violence and death every day and i am sad that someone can be struggling for a decade and never get help and im sad that a child star again was put in the position he was and never got help with that either and im sad that the aftermath of this is going to come down hardest on maya and on other people struggling and not on like. the system that allowed this to happen

and whatever

[artdecosupernova-writing]

WASTE

sci-fi ▼ cyberpunk ▼ synthwave/neo-80s queer rep ▼ disability ▼ mental illness abuse ▼ addiction/recovery Darkspace Portent Series spin-off ▼ takes place before Thriving: Rebirth

▷ Guetry Sympa is a livewire and an adrenaline junkie, a musically talented hero with lawful blindness, so having a government-funded AI implanted in his brain to control most of his bodily systems after nearly dying isn't exactly an easy adjustment to make.

▷ Of course, there's no better way to cope with a hard breakup and recover from a five-month-long coma than by being forced by the Consortium to enlist a team of fellow contract agents for a covert operation...

▷ ...To solve a centuries-old cold case involving the mysterious disappearance of the Milky Way's enigmatic savior.

Playlist: Precious Gems and Reaver Rock

GUETRY DANON SYMPA ▼ French-American ▼ scorpio ▼ human ▼ Earth ▼ a gifted musician and elite member of a special forces task unit working for the Consortium, aided by an AI in his brain that keeps his quality of life ideal after an overdose that left him otherwise brain-dead for five months. wise-cracking smartass unafraid to tear the system apart for what's right.

SUBCUTANEOUS OPERATIONAL and TACTICAL SYSTEM (SCOT) ▼ "Scotty" ▼ artificial intelligence ▼ NodeSource ▼ prototype embedded in Guetry's brain to undo most of the damage from his overdose and keep him functional. added benefits of enhancing his eyesight and aim, providing intel on missions, and overall companionship.

ALECTURA WU ▼ Chinese ▼ aquarius(?) ▼ human ▼ Consortium Node ▼ talented spaceship mechanic and other half of the band Skywaste, co-founded by Guetry when both were in high school. doesn't like going out into the field, will also fight tooth and nail for justice where there is none.

OREN ALTAVIAN ▼ capricorn ▼ human ▼ the Himalaya ▼ self-proclaimed "entrepreneur of seedydom" and known around the Milky Way as the "Kingpin of the Node." slings the hard stuff around the galaxy and gets paid handsomely for it. endlessly charming but willfully manipulative. tends to get his way no matter what, especially at the expense of those around him who think they care for him.

ADAM "MERCURY'' LYONS ▼ scorpio ▼ human ▼ Earth ▼ also an operative for the Consortium with his identical twin sister Quincy "Mars" Lyons. a bit more by the book, but willing to do what's right even if it means risking his job. a fiery complement and challenge for Guetry both personally and professionally. 

TUXTH ▼ Rotangan ▼ Logoryt ▼ a child of a Rotangan and a biracial Rontangan/Morrite, born on the seedy planet of Logoryt. in order to combat the rough upbringing she endured, she makes a name for herself by taking on missions for the Consortium, doing her part to chip away at the Morrite Blue Prince Hyret's goal to completely overrun the Milky Way.

DAZIA FOURTEEN ▼ sagittarius(?) ▼ human ▼ Consortium Node ▼ it's unknown what Dazia's origins are other than her birthplace of the Node, though it's alleged that she's of Hispanic, Slavic, and Middle Eastern descent. used to work for Consortium security until she witnessed corrupt activity within the ranks. tough as nails but all heart.

A soft tone swirling in the waves of dark gray and flashes I couldn't decipher. Purple pulsing light. A haze, more flashing images. White lights, gloves, whirring, thumping, squashing. Hot white stars. Burnt umber pain. Scorching pink fire. Numbness in muted blue. Sparking stings. Another soft tone. A smooth yet mechanical voice right inside both of my ears at once. Hello, Guetry. I am your Subcutaneous Operational and Tactical system. What. You have suffered a great deal of neurological damage and I am going to attempt to repair as much as I can. Your next of kin has given full consent to this procedure. The fuck. I am only a prototype as of yet so I must be transparent...there may be some functions I cannot fully restore, but I will do my best to make sure you are healed well enough to wake up and are able to do the remaining recovery yourself. Is this.

[youeverjustmarryabountyhunter]

Figured I might as well start actually posting about this Au I made- 

The au in question is a Star Wars modern au that I plan to one day turn into an actual fic, but as of now it's just one poorly put together chapter and a lot of brainstorming!

It's sort of a slice of life/everyone lives/happy ending story. It's centered around Boba Fett and started as a joke about his name and how in a modern setting when people first meet him they say 'Like the tea?' And he gets irrationally annoyed by it. Hence the name "No, Not The Tea" (but shortened to "Not The Tea" because removing 1 word suddenly makes it less of a mouthful)

But let's meet the characters, yeah?

The star of our show, Boba Fett, is 15 years old and the story starts with his first year of highschool.  He's grumpy (your typically moody teen) and the youngest of his brothers unless you count Din (14) and he does because he's tired of being the baby. (It does have its perks, though) Din isn't actually his brother, but he and the rest of their little rag tag group might aswell be family. (Peli 17, Fennec 16, and Cobb 15) 

Next up we have everyone's favorite dad, Jango Fett! (He's a very good father in this) Father of 3 boys(or so he thought) Kote "Cody" (23), Rex(19), and Boba, he has his hands full despite two of them being grown. He works as a bounty hunter (cause that's an actual profession) and his hobbies include annoying his family, and crushing on his kids history teacher. At the age of 18, he signed up to be a sperm donor unaware of just how much they would be using his DNA. Turns out? A lot. And the majority don't seem to have a good home life. He's sufficiently pissed, when he finds out. 

Coming in as the eldest child of the Fett household we have Cody! (That was until 17 and Fox showed up at least) Any legal document you find will say "Kote" but people are stupid and difficult and can't pronounce it (it's exceedingly simple, really) so Cody was born. Cody is a caffeine addict (though what Fett isn't?) and will jump at any opportunity to bother his younger brothers. (He once got Obi-Wan to buy Boba a boba-tea..Obi-Wan thought it was sweet! Boba almost committed a murder. They do not speak of that incident) 

The middle child that somehow became a father to twins before anybody else could even think of utter the words "grandchildren" would be Rex. It's not like it's his fault! He figured having his 8th period of his senior year would be fun. He didn't anticipate that helping his gym teacher out would involve talking a sophomore down from a panic attack. (Echo, 16 at the time. 17 when our story starts) It's absolutely not Rex's fault that he and his twin followed him around like little ducklings after that. (Fives called him dad as a joke, so Rex took it upon himself to tell Jango that he had grandkids and almost gave the man a heart attack.) It doesn't help the Echo and Fives look suspiciously like Boba- hey wait a minute! Yeah, you guessed it. Long lost kids^^ 

Alright speed round let's go,

Arla's kids are the Bad Batch boys(she adopted them, they have no relation to Jango. Hunter 21, Wrecker 20, Crosshair and Tech 19) Omega is 11 and her biological daughter. Her big brothers love her to death. 

Ahsoka is 19 and Rex's bff. 

Luke and Leia are also 11, and they're their parents (and Uncle Obi's, and auntie soka's) pride and joy. Anakin and Padme have basically adopted Han (15. Was in Boba's grade but got held back) as their own at this point. 

Wolffe is Cody's age, and the oldest of his brothers (Sinker, Boost, and Comet). They were put into the system (Yes, they came from Jango's DNA) and Plo Koon adopted them. When Jango and Plo first met they exchanged numbers and gushed about their children. (There is much more to that story but that's for a later post)

Ima-gun Di is an ex war general and currently married to Keeli. These two have absolutely NO role in the story whatsoever, I just love them. Jango has only met them once and it was because Ima-gun mistook Jango for Keeli at a grocery store once. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a tired, loving man who teaches history at a highschool and has a not so secret crush on one of his student's fathers. (He's actually taught all the Fett boy's, lord help him.)

Jaster Mereel just wants to know how his ad keeps ending up with kids. He was already confused where the first three came from but now there are 7??(Alpha-17. Oldest. Jango is more of a brother to him if anything. Fox, did not intend to be apart of this family in the slightest and that was fine up until he met Boba and they bonded. Now he's an Ori’vod?? Yeah that checks. Then of course Cody, Rex, Echo&Fives, and Boba.) Best grandfather ever.

Mando'a is a language, because I actually love it sm- 

There is so much more lore to this au than I realized, and this isn't even all of it. I fully plan on posting more, and I have a lot of art that I've done for it if I would ever get around to finishing it/posting it. Feel free to ask questions, and I hope to post more! 

(Fun fact, I accidentally deleted all of this the first time I type it. So this is the second time I've typed it- I'm not bitter.)