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cipheramnesia · 6 months ago

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The rise of the post-Burn celebrity put Closers in the spotlight. The FCC had just got the lockout working, real basic and square as anything but it was all sunshine and capitalism, chrome and cherry red smart bombs for the future. Rebuild was up, rebels were out, and the radio was sweet and soulful on a breezy summer night.

So they said locking out the burn wouldn't wrap it up, but all that was for tomorrow and today was to appreciate a world that just wasn't on fire. Rows of new houses and apartments, old ones coming to life, shopping malls bright and bustling with all their white facades and storefronts, skylights to drop a truck into. So what if nothing was taller than five floors? Brick was in and anything that was everything came in a swappable plastic cassette case.

The rooftop of what Alice eventually learned was the Center for Scientific Research: Disentanglement & Biology Division (New York) felt nice under the wind and the heat and the one beer Dr. White said it was safe for her to have. It tasted awful and she savored every sour cold sip while once a while slapping mosquitos. Fanzines got around, lay lurid side the plastic beach chair she'd squirrelled away for her two bit paradise. Caught a good gloss shot of her, mid-jump lettered over with "Buzzsaw Babe?" and it made her feel weird and proud and unhappy.

Joey walked up and cracked a beer, finally showing his age just a little, clacked the cans and watched the shared sky, stars gainst the grid and city lights. "Oh!" He said, "Oh! Looks like we got a celebrity here." He dangled up the fanzine all fish flopping in the wind.

Alice laughed and took another sip of the disgusting beverage. "You keep it then, I'll give you my autograph even." She'd got half used to the shunts and new syncup locks all bedded in her bones. Now her blades moved as her body. Goggles still sucked though.

Joey skinned the magazine to the side, lay back on the filthy tar. "You could get outta here you know. Anytime. Couldn't stop you no more, I doubt they'd much care to try."

"Could go look for em, find some new people, new friends. Girl your age oughta have some normal friends, not some old man and creep doctor." He took a long pull that shuddered Alice good - how did he stand it.

Tapped the can on her head, eyes inward, let the stars take up her thoughts. "Where'd I go? I don't know anyone, mom and dad have been dead for years, no idea about the rest of my family." The can was almost done, kinda relieving, but she wanted that awful bitter taste to linger.

"You know, I got a nice room now and my own stuff and food and the creepy doc is really... at least he's got a sense of-" She waved at the stars, trailed light finger sparks. "Look at down there, look at Jill." Last bit of beer curled a drizzle out, she chucked the can. "You know thats a future we won't survive. No place for it."

Couldn't argue and didn't have much other place for words. Joey couldn't see much use in the glossy chrome plate and plastic clacks out there but it wasn't any good place to grow old maybe. He drank down the rest of the cheap beer in a few more lengths, wished Dr. White would drop a little more on something better. No beer priority.

"Not to mention, free drugs." Alice stood, clapped up Joey's arm to his feet, slapped cigarette butts and tar crumbles off his back. He headed back, but Alice took a knee and an impulse to the fanzine, folded in the back of her jeans. Why not have something to remember herself by?

Part 2: The Lonely Extermination of Athena Six

Awhile after Dr. Stevenson left, and after Dr. White's visits were rarely more often than once or twice in a month, Athena began to notice the iron cage. It grew very slowly between the earth and the sky, deep shadow bars tinting narrow strips of the world. The first ones she saw were in the sky, on a day where she could feel the sun inside her room. She felt the slim bands connect to each other overhead.

The small transistor radio at the nurse station had a square of dark bands around it. Dark lines grew from light fixtures and intercom speakers. While she sat with an orderly doing a geometry workbook that Dr. White was supposed to supervise, Athena noticed dark lines on the overhead fluorescent lights. The orderly said it was okay for her to go back to her room and read, so she sat at her desk to re-read a set of old fantasy novels. They were about a prince who was always beset by tragedy and sickness. Now matter how much good he tried to accomplish, he always hurt someone important. In some of the stories he traveled to other versions of his story and met happier versions of himself, or sometimes sadder versions, but mostly happier. Athena thought there were probably happier versions of herself somewhere.

The dark bands grew and crossed and multiplied. The more of the bands she could see, the harder it became for her to find the dancing light. She wasn't supposed to make the light dance anymore since Dr. Stevenson's accident, and the times the orderlies caught her, they stuck a needle in her and she fell asleep right away. That was also okay, but the lights made her happy, so she played with tiny sparks against her wall, too tiny for the camera in her room to see. Except with the dark bands the lights were harder to coax put and she was usually exhausted after trying.

Eventually the grid of darkness covered the sky in its iron cage. She only sometimes saw little dark smears from the radio or people's eyes sometimes. No one else noticed the grid, but she could tell because her thread was less bright and the omnipresent iron bars were visible through the walls and ceiling. She wished she could take them down and so she practiced more and more to control her lights. They were still waiting for her, only a little more out of reach, but she got stronger and reached further every day.

A little while after the grid was in place, Dr. White visited her. He was always very nice, but Athena noticed he didn't listen very much to what she talked about. He seemed to care more about if the orderlies and nurses liked him, but she could tell they didn't anyway. He opened up a box and laid two flat rectangles of woven metal on the table, then pulled his hands away quickly. Athena noticed he always did that.

"Athena, for the next few weeks we're going to try some new games and I think you'll like them very much." He gestured at the smaller, darker screen. "Closers call this a spark buffer, do you know about them?" He kept his arms close to his body, she shook her head for no. "It's okay, not a lot of people do." He gestured at the larger screen, with shiny metal weaving, and some kind of stone under it. "This is possibly a new prototype, and I hope you can help me make sure it works right."

Athena looked blank. "I don't know how... how it works."

"Don't worry," he laughed the fake laugh a little. "All I need is for you to make the dancing lights, and make them touch the buffer."

"The cage makes it hard," she said. "Can we go somewhere out of the cage?"

"Cage? What... I'm not sure what you mean."

Athena just shook her head and Dr. White slotted the new buffer into a small box. He stood up and took several steps back, suggesting Athena begin, so she did.

It was harder than ever before but eventually a flicker of light danced in her palm for an instant. Then there came a spark out of the buffer like a mosquitos into a bug zapper, and her light blinked out. She jerked back her hands as well, feeling a sharp stab of pain at her fingertips.

Dr. White wrote notes and she sucked her fingertips because they hurt. He said "Okay, let's repeat it and then try the other one."

Athena wished Dr. White would go away again.

#parasite heart

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lnwseniorstudio1 · 7 years ago

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Blog Six

Huzzah! I have finally been able to re-organize and take a look at my research!

There are still a few things I would like to check out, including an OnBeing episode that Professor Sigamoney mentioned called “The Good, Bad and Ugly of the Digital Age”. I’d also like to read a book by Michael Bugeja entitled “Interpersonal Divide in the Age of the Machine”. These two may have to wait for Thanksgiving or Christmas break since they are not entirely necessary and would most likely just serve as more inspiration for my project as I go. I know there’s a lot of information below so feel free to skim but please bear with me...I will include my notes/summaries, bold important words and put my own comments in italics. If you are interested in this topic at all or in improving your life by understanding your current environment better, I would definitely read it all and watch all the videos. To understand it is literally life changing.

The first thing I did was take a look at the textbook for my Media Ethics [Media Ethics: 10th Edition: Routledge] class. We’re through chapter 10 now and as we’ve been going along I’ve been tabbing pages that have had crossover or applicable information for my thesis concept. I won’t include everything I indexed here because it’s quite a lot but some of the important stuff:

p.10 “Values constitute a frame of reference” -- we may value some things too highly and act in accordance with those values which are never pure and need to be checked by our loyalties and principles on how to apply those values. This pertains to my project because my argument after doing research is that our society has valued information/education too much and social interaction not enough, therefore causing the downward spiral in mental illness that we’ve seen amongst progressive generations.

p. 45 We often live in an “information cocoon” or “echo chamber” in which we click on and view only things that interest us and affirm our ideas/prejudices rather than challenge them. This insulates us and allows us to avoid discordant tones.

p. 134 Studies have shown that there has been a 47% drop in the “empathy index” over the last decade amongst today’s college students. There is a strong correlation between increased bonding over social media and a sharp decline in emotional concern for others. This could be due to lack of face-to-face contact. Other studies have shown that casual touch, looking into a friend’s eyes and hearing their voice/seeing their body language is what cements a relationship. This can’t even be done through FaceTime or Skype.

p. 134 Today’s teens and young adults are the most concerned with internet privacy more than ever before, even though they appear to be most transparent.

p. 165 Ads today create an intensified sense of distrust of and alienation from others, mainly because they are viewed as deceptive.

p. 175 “Living for likes in the marketplace” -- people have become commodities through Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, etc.

p. 181 Advertising and “media culture” are pervasive and act as a mirror/shaper of society; reflective but rich with distortion and selective content.

p. 202 Millennials are defined as born from 1980-2000. They are called “digital natives” and have had instant access to all information since birth.

p. 212 “Fragmented audiences” and “clutter”; our commercialized culture has seeped into our personal lives. We view other people as things we can buy and get something out of, rather than put something in to and cultivate as a human being. This is intrusive in nature.

p. 227 We often reflect on the ethics of our new technologies and “progress” AFTER the damage has been done. We MUST correct these problems.

I also checked out a few web links which I will include as I go in case you are interested in any of these topics and would like to know more. The first one comes from Thoughtful Life Ministries. I don’t normally like to include religious outputs in my research because they tend to be less objective but I really found this explanation of what is happening today helpful; it was very well-informed. I’ll include my notes from it in bullet point format which might be easier to read through more quickly.

http://www.thoughtfullifeministries.org/blog/2015/5/18/wisdom-in-the-digital-age-information

“We live in an age of much knowledge and little thought.”

We tend to compartmentalize data and have little capacity to implement that data.

Our format for accessing information is fragmented, therefore our thinking is fragmented, therefore our actions are disconnected.

Experiencing things in fragments has been shown to hamper cognition. One solution might be to read more books that help to develop better concentration skills, rather than reading short articles or blips or tweets from the internet.

We have a false sense of wisdom due to so much information. However, real wisdom means knowing what to do with that data; how to use it to make decisions and build relationships up rather than knowing quick facts for trivia. This is also true spiritually. It’s one thing to know the Bible and another to have a relationship with God/Jesus.

Background noise is constant.

We need stillness, silence, meditation and contemplation to maintain mental health--not quick answers from Google that don’t allow us to think and wonder for ourselves.

We have built up an aversion to quiet and become uneasy when alone for too long.

Quality of information is no longer a priority.

Abundance of information calls for developing discernment so that we can learn to trust again.

The next one comes from GoodTherapy.org and discusses some of the negative ways technology can impact our relationships.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/3-ways-technology-can-negatively-impact-your-relationships-0919167

A PEW study on Intimacy (2014)

Shows that stress/distraction often comes from cell phone usage.

Tech devices can paradoxically provide a “sense” of closeness but also tension.

Distraction

Devices can turn in to an online addiction.

People who leave their devices for more than 10 minutes often show higher levels of anxiety--a sign of an addiction, similar to smoking.

Depression

A study done in Pittsburgh shows higher rates of depression amongst those who use social media more (tend to compare themselves to others more, obsess over “likes”, etc.)

Shows a decline in mood, sense of well-being and of life satisfaction. This leads to “Fear of Missing Out”, but ends up causing those with this fear to miss out on what they already have in front of them. This calls for some meditation on gratitude.

Sync Up by Powering Down.

Connections are forged through voice, body language, facial expression and are essential. Touch is also missing, even friendly touch, and cannot be replicated through FaceTime. There may even be a higher rate of young adults who are now uncomfortable with normal affectionate touch with friends, mentors etc. This may cause erratic behavior, like keeping away from most people and then taking touch too far at other times/sexually/romantically/public indecency or harassment/assault, etc--I have personally been the victim of sexual harassment (multiple times) and attempted assault and I know for a fact the person that did it has anxiety, depression and an anti-social/erratic nature.

Solutions

Scheduling allotted times for technology usage.

Spending time in nature

A Dutch study has shown that those who live within 0.6 miles of a park or woodland have lower levels of anxiety.

My last weblink is actually just to a YouTube Channel called “Charisma on Command”. I personally have used Charisma on Command’s videos to help me with my social skills. What I think is important about this is the fact that we even have a YouTube Channel dedicated to teaching young adults how to behave like normal people. This shows us that we are the first generation to not learn these social cues as children, we must develop them later to compensate and we are actually aware that we need this help. Charisma on Command currently has 1.2 Million subscribers...including me.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU_W0oE_ock8bWKjALiGs8Q

My last section of research comes from some articles shared on Facebook that I saved and are often accompanied by videos. I would HIGHLY recommend reading and watching all of this because it could seriously help you to understand yourself and those around you better, and that simple act of understanding the cause of something and perhaps what you can do about it can alleviate so much of the anxiety that we’ve already caused ourselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BauKQDg4j0

This was a video shared by GoalCast called “Us and We” by Wentworth Miller. It’s only a short segment of the full video but I still got a lot out of it:

Being in survival mode leaves no space for community, only worrying about ourselves and getting through the day.

Many kids today struggle with suicide and yet on the outside pretend that everything is fine, even return to school shortly after attempting suicide (I myself am amongst this category).

Miller suggests this is not a cry for help because most don’t believe there is help to call for, and I’d have to agree--not that there isn’t help out there, just that when in this state you don’t believe there is.

We need to start watching out for, listening to, caring for and loving one another, even those who aren’t in our normal circle but especially those who are. People need to know they are not alone because as we will see in the following articles, it is actually loneliness, play deprivation and intense “schooling” that causes people to lash out through either suicide or homicide.

The next video I have isn’t quite as pertinent to my topic but is still very important, perhaps as one of the solutions to the problems I am bringing up. I couldn’t get the link for it but on Facebook if you search for the ATTN page and the video “Our schools should teach basic life skills again” you’ll probably find it.

The quality of the information we place the highest value on (school) is lacking. Our education is nearly meaningless and we often hear high school students complain of boredom or being given useless information that will never help them in the real world.

Conversely, we are given 38% less home economics, financial literacy and cooking classes in school leaving students feeling ill-prepared for the real world.

This has led to the hashtag #Adulting: when someone has finally figured out how to do something every adult should know how to do and posts about their success in getting it right or when they can’t figure something out (like how to boil an egg) and resort to an easier means of getting the job done (Ie. going to McDonald’s for dinner too often).

This is SAD, PATHETIC and a DISSERVICE to our youth: They should have LESS school but BETTER quality education, as we will see below in the final two articles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hER0Qp6QJNU

This video actually came from Delta Protective Services’ Facebook Page and includes Simon Sinek discussing Millennials in the Workplace.

Sinek defines Millennials as born in 1994 and after.

Corporations describe millennials as tough to work with, self interested, unfocussed, lazy and entitled.

This is all true, but let’s ask WHY.

Millennials want a purpose and to make an impact but don’t know how, leaving them extremely unhappy and wrought with mental health disorders.

Missing Pieces according to Sinek:

Failed parenting

Children are told they are special and can have anything they want for no apparent reason since birth. No merit: given participation awards which are shown to actually lower self esteem from embarrassment because children know they didn’t deserve it.

Find out in adulthood that they can’t have everything they want when they want it and are confused/stressed and constantly worried about their future in a society that values monetary success and titles.

Technology

Apps like Instagram and Facebook allow young individuals to “filter” their lives. “Life is amazing, even though behind closed doors I’m depressed”. We end up comparing ourselves and our lifestyles to other people’s lives which aren’t even the whole truth of their life and have unrealistic expectations of how life will be.

Social media is also associated with the release of Dopamine in the brain and that is the same chemical released through other addictions. It can be used as an escape from reality like alcohol or drugs and has a numbing effect.

Like alcoholics who turn to alcohol under stress, social media addicts turn to more social media rather than other people close to them when under stress.

This does not develop deep meaningful relationships and often most young people admit that they have fun with their friends but cannot count on them or confide in them. They have no practice at normal coping mechanisms.

Social media provides temporary relief but long term increases rates of depression. The imbalance ignores the root of the problem which is related to instant gratification.

What doesn’t come instantly is job satisfaction and meaningful relationships: those take years, even a whole lifetime, to develop that sense of joy in hard work and that is simply not present in our age group.

We need to learn patience:

Worst case scenario: increase in suicide [homicide] rates from drug overdoses, dropping out of school or leaves of absence due to depression/mental health which is unheard of before this and we are already seeing this in America everywhere.

Best case scenario: an entire generation of individuals never really finding joy; wafting through life with no fulfillment and constantly using the phrase “it’s fine”.

Environment:

Corporate environments care about short game numbers and gains, not about the lifetime of the youth working for them.

Corporations and businesses need to pick up the slack and help kids to encourage their confidence and cooperation skills. Kids think it’s their own fault but really they’ve had a lack of good leadership.

Need to offer help with social skills, small talk and building relationships in general, slow and steady.

Also need to remove technology and information overload temptations, such as cell phones in and even just before meetings so employees are forced to converse with one another.

Need to learn to let our minds wander and enjoy the world without constant engagement: that’s how true innovation happens.

https://byrslf.co/thoughts-on-the-vegas-shooting-14af397cee2c

The last link comes from Charlie Hoehn from BeYourself and he gives his thoughts on the recent Vegas shooting and why men keep doing this. It has a chilling amount to do with my topic and is another highly recommended read (including the attached videos, especially the one on Play Deprivation as a cause of mental and social disorders).

Increased shootings are related to men’s emotional health, not so much the guns and weapons used in the shootings.

Men have little social/emotional support.

Much of this is to do with chronic loneliness.

Need touch, caring, warmth, empathy, close relationships.

Can’t admit to these needs because they are not “for men” and cause them to appear weak, or at least society in general tell them so.

This can even be true for females with the new wave of feminism which encourages women to not appear weak as well and may unintentionally encourage the non-desirable traits of masculinity, such as isolation and the “lone wolf” mentality.

Men need deep friendships and confidants as much as women do but end up posturing in front of other boys instead.

Unrealistic expectations of masculinity lead to isolation and later violence (in forms of suicide, homicide or rape, etc.)

“The Mask You Live In” Video

Caring, relationships and empathy have been feminized and undervalued as traits for men.

Become homicidal/suicidal out of shame.

Respect is linked to violence: more to do with loneliness than anything else

Soul-deadening and maddening loneliness, feelings of rejection or being an outcast can be seen as emotionally traumatizing and develop a vision of seeing others as threats “people are cruel and not worth the effort”--I’ll admit, I used to think this way. I never would have hurt anyone, but I would isolate myself to cope.

Men [people in general] are also deprived of play.

People function best and are healthier with less stress which can be relieved through play.

Play encourages the formation of deep friendships, life/social skills and the mastery of survival/being able to respond well and not overreact to frightening situations.

This is like socialization for puppies and helps them to grow up to be non-aggressive and non-violent. Puppies grow into dogs that lash out because of abuse, isolation and fear/not knowing how to react to fear.

Strong correlation between play deprivation and mental illness.

Leads to chronic depression when kids are stripped of their right to experience life on their own terms. Often depression and anxiety stems from feeling as if one has no control over their own life.

To improve test scores and our children’s “futures” we have taught them not to live in the moment but to always plan for tomorrow and their resumes without giving them ample time to play. “Pills are prescribed for bodies and minds that cry out for play”.

The result is a generation of the most anxious, depressed and suicidal American children on record.

I can attest to this, and even when I do finally find time to play, I find it empty and not rewarding somehow. Apathy takes over and I lose the motivation/enthusiasm to have fun, a clear sign of mild chronic depression.

“The Decline of Play” video by Peter Gray

Over the past half century, the U.S has seen a decline in play and a rise in feeling of helplessness and also narcissism amongst children/psychopathology.

Without play, children have no emotional support amongst their own age group and it can become easy to feel deadened inside/to have no capacity for feelings (another way of saying, developed sociopathic tendencies).

These children keep secrets and often feel shame/humiliation/disrespect and ridicule.

In need of friendship and play which develops fit bodies, cooperation and risk-taking.

Why had play been eroded?

School and the emphasis on valuing information and “progress” over humanity and our condition.

What good is all that schooling if it leaves us unhappy, unfulfilled and not even able to apply the information we receive?

The type of play we have is also lesser in quality: it is not free and self-directed, but rather supervised, structured and uber competitive/less creative (dare I say organized little league statues versus story time or scenario based play-time).

Irrational fears about dangers to children have been spread in the last 50 years as well (due to films like “It” etc.) when we actually live in the safest time for children to be outside in the neighborhood.

The correlation between play deprivation, increases in amounts of schooling and mental disorders amongst youth are nearly linear over time. The 15-24 age group of suicide has doubled and the 15 and under group has quadrupled.

Conversely, suicide amongst the elderly and older generations has gone down.

In essence, we are a worse world for children; “safe” but destructive.

The decline in our sense of control over our own lives has led to distrust, rise in narcissism, decline of empathy, but also decline in creativity since the 1980′s.

What we can do:

Recognize the problem.

Examine our priorities.

Develop bonds with neighbors, open gymnasiums, park supervisors (that do not intervene with play, simply safety) and close off streets for certain hours for children to play in.

Stand up against the clamor for MORE school/information, just BETTER school.

So overall, this is what I learned and how I see this project as a progression of figurative sculptures that will likely illustrate each of these points (accompanied by my artist statement which will also include resources to all of this research and steps/ways for people to get help. I take this project seriously/personally and I want to help other young people to not have to suffer what I and my friends have):

The emphasis on more education leads to an obsession with obtaining information, whether useful or not, with little time to “play” and learn to apply that information through developing meaningful relationships. This can cause anti-social behaviors that are not even related to technology, such as a personal one: burying oneself in books and art rather than facing other people and developing friendships in real life--another example of absorbing information over actively pursuing goals/people.

As children grow they are then suddenly subjected to the internet and constant access to an abundance of information and are unsure of what is necessary to know and what is not or how to sift through it all.

When presented with social media, these children who are now teens absorb everything they see and develop unrealistic expectations for life that can never be met and often neglect in-person social interactions, hampering their social skills. Over time, this causes anxiety/depression and is further compounded when the addiction to social media takes over and the endless cycle of “bad coping” takes over. Obsessed with knowing more and more and presenting themselves a certain way combined with living in “survival mode” leaves no room for empathizing with others and thus begins the narcissism that can eventually turn in to true sociopathy.

In the young adult stage, a near existential crisis CAN take place when a person finally becomes aware of what is happening to them. Hopefully, they will change their habits and get help/therapy (for those of you wondering, yes, I have gone and will continue to get therapy/counseling)...at other times, they may not ever figure out what the actual problem is and continue through life anxious, depressed and apathetic, unable to feel the vitality of life. They will have a hard time focussing a train of thought due to fragmented inputs of information and develop discordant relationships/behaviors in response. They will have trouble understanding complex concepts and require narratives and deep thoughts to be broken down and spoon-fed to them, rather than contemplated and dots-connected on their own.

In the most drastic cases, a person may kill themselves or those around them who they blame for their loneliness and isolation, which would be easy to imagine considering they have already died internally and cannot feel pain for those they are harming.

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