#sweet as cyanide
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Can you draw Christopher x Cakey, Or as I call it
SweetCyanide?
yes 😈😈😈😈
i did this on roblox free draw because i only wanna draw on roblox free draw right now
#chris x cakey#sweet cyanide#my art#christopher pierre#the distortionist#appetite of a people pleaser#cakey ghost and pals#christopher x cakey
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help this took so long (tagsss)
#he calls the mansion not a house but a tomb hes always choking from the stench and the fume the wedding party all collapsed in the room so#send my resignation to the bride and the groom lets go down this elevator only goes up to ten hes not around hes always looking at men down#by the pool he doesnt have any friends as they are face down and bloated snap a shot with the lens if you marry me would you bury me would#you carry me to the end to the vows you take (and say goodbye) to the life you make (and say goodbye) to the heart you break and all the#cyanide you drank she keeps a picture of the body she lends got nasty bruises from the money she spends shes got a life of her own and it#shows by the benz she drives at 90 by the barbies and kens if you ever say never too late ill forget all the diamonds you ate lost in coma#and covered in cake increase the medication share the vows at the wake (kiss the bride) if you marry me would you bury me would you carry me#to the end (and say goodbye) to the life you make (and say goodbye) to the heart you break and all the cyanide you drank to the last parade#(and walk away) from the choice you made (and say goodnight) to the heart you break and all the cyanide you drank to the vows you take (and#say goodbye) to the life you make (and say goodbye) to the heart you break and all the cyanide you drank to the last parade as the parties#fade and the choice you made (to the end)#to the end#my chemical romance#my chem romance#three cheers for sweet revenge#my chemical fucking romance#gerard way
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heya, i'm jinn, i am a basic and i miss atlas rise! live.
#i know it's the most basic song ever from metallica BUT#i just love it. i embrace my norminess sjsjsjsns I WANT IT BACK LIVE PLSSSSS#im not asking for spit (oh man i WISH) but i know in my heart that its destiny will be the same as cyanide#and </3#gotta say im glad that almost 8 years later and 3 concerts in that tour i still wanna hear HTSD songs#(not moth. it's good but enough. and i am still ?? over confusion being in s&m2 but i mean. pun intended djsjjsjs)#song related#sorry duder if you read all this way i am tired and i forgor what was my point#htsd is still good. still loving the songs. i was v tired today and man looking at the making of of the album helped#i LOVE the making of sweet revenge#james doing the chugga chugga heart beat at the beginning etc#jinn out#i think it has been a while since i did a ramble in the tag while sleep deprived snansnsns#anyway.#ATLAS RISE IS GOOD AND I MISS OT. WE HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER AND I WANT IT BACKKKKKKK#*HERE comes revenge#not sweet revenge. geez im tiredddd sksksksks
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11pm saltposting I still cannot fucking believe a man who has a PhD and makes way more money than me mixed together Trizol and bleach then tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal when IM the one who fucking inhaled most of it. How do you not know basic undergrad level chemical safety and then try to make ME second guess myself
#IT WAS A WHILE AGO im just. pissed again because another coworker started using trizol too so I gave her a heads up and she was so fucking#nice about it. already knew and didn’t try to make me doubt myself#sweet delicious hydrogen cyanide
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new indi work alert!!!! this is my descendants rewrite! updates will either be weekly or biweekly, depending on how much time i have to write <3
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@babydxhl liked for a starter!
Cold. Crisp. These were words used to describe Mary Dahl, but he found these words better suited to the air, to the cold hard ground, to the city he currently found himself bleeding out in.
Warm. Everflowing. These were words used to describe the blood pouring from his side, but he found these words better suited to Mary Dahl, the woman who had indulged his stupid delusions for so long both in and out of Arkham, and who he had the privilege to call a loved one.
Bitter. Desperate. These were words used to describe Jonathan Crane, but he himself would have used these words to describe the taste on his tongue as he searched for a way out of this mess. He would not die in a back alleyway at the hands of some two-bit assassin. If Ra’as wanted him dead, he’d have to try harder -- and Crane knew that The Demon’s Head could try harder.
Her face flashed in his mind, over and over, and he wondered if she was okay. If she would be okay. He knew where her apartment was, but he hadn’t bothered to visit for too long ever since she had retired from the game. He sent letters, of course, but she was trying her hardest to be better. He couldn’t get in the way.
And here he was, sitting on her sofa as he waited for her to get home, bleeding all over her carpet, indulging in his own selfish need to see her. He had already patched himself up, but he needed this. He needed to see her. Needed it. Needed it. Needed...
Crane’s breath hitched as he heard the door open and for a moment he considered making himself more presentable. He had shed most of his costume apart from the pants and the poncho, the latter being tied around his waist as he had gone to work stitching and bandaging his side up. His long black hair was stained crimson as it fell down into his still bruised face, but it didn’t matter.
She finally entered the room, and Crane could only utter one word.
“...Mary.”
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Wait you like both dope and dope stars inc? this is an impossibly obscure combo which I happen to be into as well, let's be friends based on that alone
yeah i’ve been into them both since about 2019 😅😅😅 i know dope have a few fans here but dope stars inc don’t seem to have much of a fandom 😭😭
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@h3artrot asked : " do you remember your nightmares ? "
remi takes a breath, swirling around the ice in the glass of amber liquid she'd acquired a few moments prior. the question was a loaded one, making her recall certain things about herself that she would rather let slip away into the night sky and forget existed.
but that's the thing - remi remembered.
she remembered everything. from what it felt like to take her last breath, the searing pain of a knife piercing her throat, the sensation of drowning in her own blood as she lay on the floor of that hotel suite. forgetting would be nice, but that doesn't seem to be something that she's been offered.
a breath, slow inhale and exhale, before she responds.
"i don't sleep often," she says, taking a second to sip at the liquid in her glass, trying to ground herself in the moment. "but when i do, all i have are nightmares. sometimes they come during my waking moments as well. images that sear themselves against my eyelids."
she shifts her head slightly to glance over at clara.
"i don't have the privilege of forgetting."
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s w e e t e r 🍭🍬✨
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IN A STITCH, IN A PINCH | J. TODD
SUMMARY: you’ve developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws, but you’re not quite sure about what the irascible Red Hood thinks of you.
WARNINGS: graphic description of burn injury, oblique reference to canonical parental drug dependency, reader is a meta.
NOTES: bringing back an old work! Re: the burns treatment depicted here - my area of study was clinical microbiology, not emergency medicine; everything I know about burns is relegated to opportunistic Staphylococcus aureus infection and how Gram negative skin flora influence wound healing. Take none of what you see in this fic as medical advice; if you do have a severe burn, call 999 and get your arse to an A&E ASAP.
After an extraterrestrial incident in your city that ended with something to the tune of 5 and a half million dollars worth of property damage and you knitting Arsenal's torn-open back together in a moment of adrenaline-fuelled insanity, you've developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws.
What that really means is that you periodically come off your shift at the hospital to find 2 mercenaries and an alien princess divesting your fridge of it's contents, and get wheedled into using your meta abilities to heal wounds that would otherwise take them out of play for a good few months.
You're under no illusions. You're aware that a healer is a useful contact to have, that should the situation necessitate it they'll take the few scant inches you can give and run a mile with them.
However, you're also aware that being a meta is a risk and that it pays to be liked and valued by dangerous people.
It's a friendship of convenience, but a friendship nonetheless.
Kori picks you up bodily and spins you in a tight circle until you're giggly and dizzy when confess her favourite shirts of yours are always freshly washed, just in case.
Roy gives you a vulgar wink when you order his shirt off to take a look at where his back scarred over, but faithfully applies the Vitamin E cream you give him for the scarring, trusting you to ease his discomfort, and sneaks bottles of your favourite elderflower cordial and the tins of Zambuk you can never find in the US for you to find when he leaves.
The only one you can't quite puzzle out your relationship with is Jason. He's taciturn, stands watch faithfully as Roy and Kori pull you into friendly hugs and dizzy spins, pepper playful kisses on your cheek and rub their knuckles into your hair. He rolls his eyes at his teammates' antics, huffs through his nose at your fussing.
Sometimes though, he'll call you sweetheart in a low rasp as he bumps you away from the sink to take over doing the dishes.
Sometimes, you think you catch him watching you with something unnameable and warm in his eyes.
You're not expecting your front door to fly open and damn near off the hinges late on Saturday evening — just as you're fresh out of the shower and only just into your pyjama shirt & shorts, might you add — but your alarm and annoyance die on your tongue when you see Roy and Kori's grim faces and the way that Jason sways despite both of their considerable strength holding him up.
You smell the odd, sour-smoke char of burned flesh as they pass you to ease Jason down oh so gently onto your sofa, and your gut goes cold with fear. The burn, once you get his shirt cut open, is not as extensive as you'd feared, but it's still something from a horror scene.
It's a third degree burn, skin mulberry-red, weeping and blistered in a long arc that curls up from his right hip to just under his right pectoral.
"Bloody hell." You breathe, horrified.
You run to your room, digging out your first aid kit, and drop to your knees by the couch as you tear it open.
Roy snorts, bitter as cyanide. "Yeah, that's a fairly accurate summary of the situation, sweets. The only reason he's still alive is because he dodged and got a glancing blow from the energy beam instead of a direct hit."
You look up from Jason's side.
"I'll need you and Kori to get some things." You say, hands shaking at the prospect of the task in front of you. "I can reduce the severity of the burn to a first degree, maybe, but it–"
"What do you need?" Kori snaps, terse. You reel off a list - topical antiseptic, light bandages, a banana bag & an IV kit, amoxicillin - and then look to Roy.
"I need you to get him to take some co-codamol. It'll kick in in about 10 minutes given his enhanced metabolism, but I can't do anything until he's got painkillers in him."
Roy's brows tighten further.
"Jason doesn't do opiates."
"Roy, if this was anybody else he'd be hooked up to IV morphine! If I start working on him without him having painkillers, he'll go into shock which could kill him." You exclaim.
You make low, soothing sounds when Jason tenses at the shouting, only to groan at the fresh wave of agony in his side.
The sound of Jason's pain seems to be decisive enough for Roy, who moves round the couch and grabs the box of effervescent tablets, dissolving two in water and coaxing Jason into drinking it down.
When the glass is empty, Roy is back to his feet, quick as lightning. He strides to the door, shepherding Kori out of your apartment.
"We'll be back with everything you need in half an hour, tops. Please, help him."
Jason comes out of the shrieking adrenaline of agony to the sound of your voice, and a slight cotton fuzz in his head.
Narcotics, then, but a fairly low dose for him to still retain this degree of alertness. Feeling the encroaching spectre of that terrible pain just barely held at bay, finds he's grateful for the medication.
He goes to prop himself up on his elbows, only to strike a line of phosphorus-white flare of pain down his side that has him hissing breath through gritted teeth.
Above him, you make a startled sound, press a hand to his sternum to keep him down. His eyes catch yours, and he sees the relieved sag of your spine and shoulders at the alertness in his eyes.
"Thank fuck you didn't go into shock." You sigh. "Stay still, I've just about got this down to a second degree burn. I've just got your hip."
You snap off your nitrile gloves and lean forward, cupping his face in your hands. "Don't make a habit of this. You'll kill us off with stress if you keep on nearly-dying."
As if on cue, the front door opens and Roy and Kori come into the living room, pharmacy bags clutched tightly in their grips and fragile hope in their eyes.
When they see Jason's alert eyes, the slow knit of skin and sub-dermal tissue and hear his sheepish grumbling in, response to you, their smiles are like sunlight.
Healing the burn is slow going, taking a full five evenings after your shifts.
Roy and Kori are intent on Jason staying the full course of treatment — settled by a, literally, on account of Kori, flaming row when he asks for his helmet and body armour —and though your entreaties are quieter, they're no less insistent.
It serves him right, probably, but it's driving him to distraction.
Specifically, the feeling of your hands over his skin is driving him to distraction.
He's not sure whether it's mercy or the sweetest of torture when you approach him, eyes darting down his body in a way that's half-assessing, half appraising before the heat-shock of your touch makes contact, pieces his skin back together.
(The thing is, Jason's attuned to everything about you, has been ever since you pulled Roy's flayed skin back shut whilst the city was still smoking behind you, totally unafraid in scrub trousers and a hoodie.
He's got it bad, and it's not exactly subtle.
Roy and Kori haven't missed that, or the way he reacts to you, judging by the raised eyebrows and teasing smirks as they lean up against the wall and watch you work.
He hopes the glare he levels at them over the top of your head communicates exactly what he'll do to them if they open their mouths.
It all comes to a head on Monday evening, when you come home from your OR shift, duck into the shower and then come into the living room in a too-large grey t-shirt and deliciously short sleep pants.
Jason's heart stops for a second. He lets his eyes flit despairingly over to Roy and Kori as you prep your kit, watches their unrepentant grins with a burning resentment towards them.
Having you this close to him, worry-soft and lit like a Rembrant from the lamp on the side table without being able to touch you is the closest thing to hell there is. You're close enough that he can smell the overlapping, inoffensive fragrances of your facial skincare products, see the faint pearlescent sheen of the residue of some serum on the apples of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, the soft line of your jaw.
Your nitrile-gloved hand settles gently on the raw new skin just above his hip and he jumps, his own broad hand flying up defensively to catch your wrist and still your movement. It's a mistake he regrets immediately.
The skin of your wrist is still tacky-soft with still-settling moisturiser, hair curling damp where the spray of your shower caught it. Jason's mind spins an unbidden reel of your hands, smoothing lotion over the plush expanse of your thighs, the line of your neck and the gentle swell of your décolletage, the curve of your hip.
He presses his eyes shut tightly.
He feels feral, the hungry bones of him blown open and exposed like the hull of a shipwreck. He wants to worry marks the shape of his mouth into your thighs, your neck, across your collarbones. He wants your knees bracketing his hips, the weight of you on top of him.
God, he wants–
"Are you okay? You're not in too much pain, are you?" He hears you ask.
He knows he's in far too deep when the thought of tasting the way the words roll off your tongue flits across his mind.
"Sorry." He croaks, releasing your hand. "Instinct."
(Roy turns to Kori with a snort, murmuring low so you can't hear.
"He's been watching like he wants to eat them alive since the first time we met and it's a miracle he's got enough blood north of his waistband to be capable of speech, but sure. Instinct.")
#marley.txt#jason todd x reader#red hood x gn!reader#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd x gn!reader#jason todd x you#jason todd fic#jason todd#jason todd fluff#dc x reader#I am a humble path lab dude if the medicine is wrong that’s not my problem 😭👍🏽#do not get your medical advice from fic abeg#if you’re getting poly vibes…. you may be on to something…. 🤭#part 2 might come along depending on the response to this#(guess this is where we see if folks read the tags of my fics LMFAOAOAOAOA)#zambuk ref!!!! spot the sub Saharan 😭😭😭
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Apple seed cyanide
TW: description of yandere mentalities and actions (obsession, possessive tendencies, stalking, etc)
Tags: Yandere! Joker x reader, Yandere! Harley x reader (platonic)
If you want the honest to god truth, Harley knew that the Joker was spewing saccharine filth from the start when he reached out with promises of a sweet little life, one with a darling family of their own. She knew because, after years of watching him pant after the trials of Batman, she saw he had no room other than his obsession left in his heart. But like a moth to firelight, she flutters dutifully back into his arms attracted by promises already broken
Imagine her surprise when shes greeted at the door with a bright smile, almost sane enough to trick her. He ushers her in with a sweet note in the air and a “surprise waiting for her” in the living room. Bound and gagged a couple is crying out on the floor, shaking their hands in a pathetic plea, and attempting to crawl away, and usually, Harley would be all for making a joke or two, but instead, all she can see is you. Your little presence floods all of her senses, sitting perfectly pacified on the floor. Behind her, she's aware of her partner's sick laughter, but she can't shake off the trance she's in.
You couldn't be older than 3, still without proper motor skills and a morbid curiosity stopping any critical preservation instincts that might have had you crying. This becomes more evident when instead of screaming, you giggle as the clown prince of crime crouches down to haul you up into an embrace, even bouncing you up into the air a few times to pry out more laughter. She can barely hear the shrieks of your old parents as the Joker finally deposits you safely into her arms, and as she cradles you close to her chest that aches for you. It's a physical hurt that almost overwhelmed her, the need to crawl inside you and live there, or for you to do the same, and it is in a stranger's house that Harley falls in love again.
“Sweet as honey ain't they?” the Joker coos and cackles at you, waggling a few fingers in front of your face, grinning even wider as you grab at them. “Full of curiosity that one is, a real riot!” but Harley can barely hear him much less acknowledge him past the roaring of blood in her ears. Her heart beating out of her chest she thinks it might just spill open to accommodate the organ trying to crawl closer to her darling. For the second and last time in her life, Harley is chained and leashed to another's will, a fate of coming to their beck and call, your will, her darling wrapped perfectly in her arms.
To the Joker's credit he does love you, or as close to love as he can get. He hushes your cries, indulges you in sweets behind Harley's back, and she's even caught him humming silly little tunes as he dances with you wrapped up in his arms. You bring clarity to him, a surety in his life that he doesn't feel unless pulling Bats along in another joke. You were going to be his perfect legacy, proof that he cannot truly die, you're a part of him in this way. Of course, you’d need a quick little dip into a vat of toxins to truly make a perfect legacy but you needn’t worry, he still loves you. You just need a little preparation first.
Every week he takes you on little daddy-darling outings, he tells Harley your going around to sightsee, and he lets you play a lot of fun games until the sun sets. And he's truthful because his warehouses are far and in between, and every mutilation he leads you so lovingly through is a fun little joke. His little comedian, hell coo as he leads your hand tightly clasping a knife against the throat of one of his own boys who had tried to run. Isn't this fun sweetheart?
He underestimates, however, just how devoted Harley is because while she was fully delusional when they had first gotten into a relationship Harley cannot spare you as collateral damage to her own fantasies. She is painfully grounded as she takes in everything about you 24/7, your expressions, words, actions anything she can she takes to covet away in her mind forever. As much as she is a monster she is your mother and she loves you, you are anything she's ever had and everything she'll ever have. He doesn't realize that she obsessively checks over you, even spotting the smallest flecks of blood, how when she kisses you goodnight she can see the thin sheen of apathy take hold of your gaze.
The final straw comes in the form of a huge argument, she comes home early from work eager to see her little baby, when she finds the Joker cooing into your ear, goading you into doing your best as your hands wrap around a familiar gun. Like the devil on her shoulder, she can't even scream as you pull the trigger, eyes momentarily twitching but no other expression as your former parent's brains paint the windows. And she realizes as you turn around to smile at her sweetly with blood on your teeth and tears that seem so foreign streaming down your face that you need to leave, she has to get you away.
That night she takes you, just 9 years old, and runs. She has no real destination, just a desperate notion to get away, to save you from all that she knows the joker is trying to make you. She can't, she can't let you go through what she knows will force you into the type of person you never wanted to become. Because she can see herself in the mirror and can mourn normal happiness and stability, and she has watched the joker bleed himself dry until he has nothing to himself but an old laugh track repeating over and over again. It's a life of agony and you don't deserve that, not you, never you.
Of course, her body ends up leading her to Ivy’s place, and the woman can only stare in shock as her best friend who had gone radio silent all those years back collapses at her door holding a kid so close she might be trying to meld into one. “Please, please not my baby” Harley begs and any anger that Ivy could have had melts.
For a while it's paradise, the Gotham sirens all corralling once again in their glory, and with their very own new member, you. Selina takes to you quickly, cooing about how her kitten is just the most clever thing in the world as you quickly work through her little trips. (Privately she will worry to Harley about the lack of awareness you have for your own health, the way your eyes glaze over when a plan takes place, and the brutality you exhibit.) Ivy also takes to you quickly, teasing you with little nicknames (how can you be a sapling when you're a human?) and she teaches you how to nurture, how to care for plants and love them as they deserve. (And she will confide to Harley how you seem to take to poisons particularly well, how you are able to craft things more disastrous than she can dream, how your curiosity always leans to the morbid.)
Harley herself takes great energy and care into trying to undo what the Joker has done, it's laughable how Gotham's greatest villains all sit in a circle every week and preach about morals and empathy. But to their credit, it works, and though you may not be able to feel the full existence of motion, though you can't seem to feel it as deeply as others your heart still throbs with what must make you human. You learn consequences and cling with desperation to these little lessons that prove you aren't your mentor. (not father, not anymore)
And yet Harley can still see how your apathy takes hold in the face of curiosity, how you prefer crowbars over teddy bears, and how despite your hardest efforts empathy is always a little too easy to push away in favor of hard-earned apathy. (and she knows, she knows that as long as that bastard is still out there doggedly searching the ground for you, you won't ever truly be safe) so she makes a deal.
The phone rings and Bruce can only raise an eyebrow at the untitled phone number, he doesn't make a habit of giving out his number so uselessly so after the third ring he picks up.
“Hello? This is Bruce Way-”
“Hey Bats.” Alarm shoots through the roof at a voice he hasn't heard in years, and yet still so closely relates to his arch-nemesis.
“Harley? How did you get this-”
“Listen, listen I know it's gonna sound real bad but I- I need you to hear me out. A favor, I need a favor. I'll go back to Arkham, stay there for the rest of my days but, I” she breathes and it's far too shaky for the woman he knows her to be. “My baby” she sobs “You gotta keep my baby safe, he's out there Bats and he won't leave em alone as long as their alive.”
Through his confusion, Bruce manages to calm her down, and wrangles a short story out of her, how she and Joker had played family until she couldn't bear to see you break anymore and how she knew that she alone couldn't keep her darling safe. And maybe it's the boy staring at the corpse of his family in Crime Alley that speaks instead of himself but he finds himself reaching out to help. (he can't let another family split, not when he can help it). As long as Harley doesn't kill, no more lethal tactics, and as long as she reports everything she knows about joker, and works with him against him, she can stay outside of Arkham walls. And as for you?
Your tenth birthday hits and Bruce Wayne steps into your living room with a strangely calculating gaze and a warm smile.
“You must be Y/N? Ah, nice to meet you officially, my name is Bruce Wayne, and ill be your foster family.”
Author's Note: Another reupload. ALSO! I HAVE GOTTEN THE ANON ASKS!! I AM JUST A SLOW WRITER I’LL GET TO EM I PROMISE!!
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“I need you to know how unbelievably pissed I am at you.”
You interrupt the peaceful folding and stocking of your clothes at your in-laws house with your threat. Immediately, Shoyo tenses up and whips his head to look at you, eyes wide and dancing over your face, waiting for you to continue your rant and fury.
When you don’t, merely continuing to glare at him, he gives a frantic, “what did I do!”
“Lower. Your damn. Voice,” you grit, and his hands clap over his mouth childishly. You take a deep inhale to calm down, “you told, your sweet and old parents…”
He looks at you expectantly again. You flare your nostrils and hike up your voice in an obnoxious nasal:
“We’re huuuuungry!”
Instantly, at your mocking tone, he breaks down into laughter, trying to stifle them to keep your anger at bay.
“So embarrassing!” You snip.
“Baby, we were! They don’t mind, you know that-“
“THEY STARTED COOKING! FOR US!”
“You know they’d rather eat with us than have us go out to eat!”
“Shoyo,” you snarl, rising to your feet and approaching him; with nervous laughter, he shrinks back. “It is eigHT IN THE EVENING, AND YOUR MOTHER IS MAKING NIKUJAGA!” You grab a pillow and start whacking him with it, ignoring his pleas and sheltering arms. “For the love of the gods, she should be relaxing!”
“She’s fine!”
You stop swinging and look down at him in shock. He makes a grab for the pillow and you whip it away, and he whines around some giggles.
“You do not make that decision for her,” you growl, throwing the pillow to the side and shoving him on his back before quickly crawling on top of him. “I would rather us both starve and rot away, before I tell your sweet, old parents that we’re hungry. ESPECIALLY at 20:14.”
“Baby, it’s fine,” he giggles, his hands settling on your hips. “They’re totally fine; you know my mom lives to make you happy!” You cross your arms over your chest, and he snickers as he raises up on his elbows, “just a quick bite to eat, a few laughs, then we can all go to bed, right?”
You exhale through your nose, and he tucks his lips in nervously.
“You know what?” You begin, relaxing your shoulders.
“What?”
“You’re right. You’re right! They’re just cooking. It’s fine.”
“Exactly! They’re fine.”
With that, you swing your legs off of your husband and scurry to the closet, and before he can ask, you grab a random stack of blankets to throw at his head. He screams at the sudden impact.
“Since they can whip up dinner, you can whip me up a bed on the couch. Since APPARENTLY you are just so okay with spontaneous forces of labor.”
He cackles some more as you mimic his “we’re hungry!” at random volumes, putting your clothes away in the drawers until his sweet old mother calls you both to the kitchen to eat, not too dissimilar from how she did when you were younger.
“I’m going to bury you alive,” you snarl at him, leaning into the arm tossed around your shoulders as you make your way down the hall to eat. “Watch your damn back. I’ll put cyanide in your food tomorrow, try me bitch.”
He merely snickers as you threaten him with the most bizarre forms of torture you can conjure, all while the smell of a hot supper fills the air around the house.
based on this video bc I love Lori and Noah 🥺🩷
#he would and y’all know it#hinata shoyo#hinata shoyo fluff#hinata shoyo x reader#hinata shoyo x gn!reader#hinata shoyo x reader fluff#hinata shoyo imagine#hinata shoyo haikyuu#hinata#hinata fluff#hinata x reader#hinata x reader fluff#hinata x gn!reader#hinata imagine#hinata haikyuu#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x yn
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Have a Good(?) Mom Janet AU.
There is a cookbook in Drake Manor that no one but Tim and Janet are allowed to touch. There is also a shelf full of Spices that only they are allowed to touch. Every time Janet comes home, they both cook each other meals with the book and the spices. Tim makes himself food using the spices while she is gone. Janet makes sure to come home at least once a month so that they can cook together.
This cookbook has been passed down in Tim's family for many, many generations. To be taught from it and eventually gifted the book to add your own recipes to is seen as a sign of love and adoration. If a family has more than one child, a copy of the book is made so each child can have one, and if someone dies without any children to pass the book along to, their will always states for the book to be returned to a Drake. Sometimes branches of the family will get together to trade recipes that the later generations have come up with that aren't in their own books. It has been this way for well over 10 generations.
See, the special thing about this cook book? It doesn't have anything like Chili or Pasta or Candy or Cake or anything like that. No, this is a cookbook detailing things like how to brew a lovely tea made from Nightshade and Foxglove, how to milk a snake and then reduce it's venom down and which Spices to add in so that it can be used to coat a blade, and how to disguise the taste of bitter poison in sweet and savory foods.
It's a Cook Book of Poisons. Just like the shelf is full of things like arsenic, cyanide, dried poison dart frogs, hemlock, and so, so much more. If you can think of a poison, it's on the hidden shelf.
Tim is taught by his mother how to dose those he loves to over time make them immune to things, how to kill someone without leaving a trace, and how to tell poisons apart by taste, smell, and touch. Janet does this because she loves her son, just as Janet's mother did this for her because she loved Janet and on and on back in the family tree. She wants him to be safe and they are very rich and well known. She knows that this attracts Assassins. She can not protect him from Knives or bombs or guns, but she can protect him from this one thing. She will protect him because she loves him dearly.
Tim knows his mother loves him, why else would she always poison him? She explained to him when he was very little what she was doing and why and he believed her. He still does. Frankly, the partial immunity to basically all toxins has been really helpful as Robin. Plus he can use this to help the Bats! He can start micro dosing Bruce and Alfred and Dick right away by baking them cookies with poison! If they detect anything wrong, just tell them it's ok if they don't like the cookies he made while looking sad. They will cave instantly and eat anything he gives them, brushing Tim off as not a very good cook.
Tim also comes clean to his Mother (only her, not Jack. They don't have a bond like he and Janet do) about being Robin and honestly? She sags in relief and says she is so glad that someone is protecting him from the things she can not and teaching him how to defend against what nether can stop. There is a lot of crying and then Janet being Horrified when she finds out that Batman and Nightwing only have Average Gothemite Poison Resistance?? No special training??? Seems very, *very* stupid in their lie of work.
With this AU, Janet would be fine (or at least not dead) when she drinks the water. Jack may or may not have been fine as well (depends on if Janet was also microdosing Jack as well).
So, Tim's parents either die another way or just don't die. Maybe Jack still ends up dead (Boomerang and whatnot), but Janet lives.
Ooh! Feel free to contest, but this would also pave the way for some excellent Talia/Janet interactions (it could start out as enemies to lovers due to two of Talia's sons attacking Janet's son. Yet, Talia can't help but be intrigued by the Drake practice of poisons/venoms/resistance/immunity).
Anyways, Tim and Janet showing their love through cooking is precious. It'd also be hilarious if Janet, insulted by the Bats not being immune, tries to help Tim as well. She just constantly checks up with Tim's progress and offers any advice she needs to.
Damian and Jason probably have some resistance/immunity bulit up, but probably not to the extent the Drakes do in this AU. Cass is aware of what's going on and happily takes Tim's food every time (she can practically feel the love radiating off of the food).
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"Doesn't matter now. What's done is done."
"That's it, then?"
Perhaps he was stupid, from the beginning. Thinking that coming here would result in anything other than the metaphorical slap in the face he had just gotten.
She didn't need him anymore. He knew that much. His presence was little more than a burden on Gotham at this point, and she was already over it, on to greener pastures. She was a teacher now, for fuck's sake, and he was still in the same broken cycle.
What difference would a suit and tie and a bouquet of flowers have made?
His chest was tight. He was gonna fucking puke. He came here to talk, to try and reignite their friendship - but it was over now.
Or, had it ever been real? Perhaps she didn't mean what she just said - perhaps she meant something else. Perhaps she simply meant her past as a criminal. Perhaps she meant everything in her past - including him. The possibilities were endless, and they had him dizzy and spinning.
He tossed the flowers on her desk and turned on his heel.
"You're right. It's done."
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houndtooth [1]
[masterlist]
Ghost x f!Reader - tags: slow burn, enemies to lovers, abduction, bodyguard, forced cooperation, smut 18+ mdni - cw: below the cut - 2.2k words
you're the pampered wife of a russian warlord. ghost hunts you down and finds a use for you.
Hello loves, a brief intermission from me (quick I promise) - I thought it would be fun to cross-post my Ao3 fic Houndtooth on tumblr. It is still in progress!
Needless to say, this fic comes with some content warnings: implied SA (not by Ghost), drug addiction, waterboarding, and heavy physical violence.
Reader insert goes by her alias, Mia, a name she invented to protect herself in her previous profession.
If I cannot be feared, I must be loved.
There’s something special about you.
Something sickly.
Your body, your lips, your eyes. Bait like dripping entrails in a loose twine net; dragging bloody along the wooded, overgrown path of your life, and luring ravenous carnivores to your trail around every bend.
It’s something you’ve grown accustomed to, expectant of – that lecherous scrutiny, from any man you have ever met, or ever might. Used to the huffing snouts that suck in the vapour of your beguiling skin, tonguing it like they might ever get to take a bite.
Offering mouthfuls of yourself is the only way you have been able to keep them at bay. Appeasing when necessary. Rebuffing only when you can be certain that your extermination will not be the consequence.
Sometimes they gnaw at you anyway. Sometimes their canines sink rapaciously into your soft flesh, popping through your skin like it’s the velvety hide of a peach. They drink the sweet pink syrup until you’re bled dry, careful to spit out the cyanide core once they've finished.
Until that poisonous pit, coated in the stringy viscera that those teeth had missed, was all that was left of you.
So, when your husband found you, dressed as the hound-bait character you played along the redlight strip, you were allured by the promise that he might plant you again. Maybe, with his exorbitant riches and clandestine occupation, he might water you and fertilise your soil, he might let your pit sprout into a sapling. Maybe, your branches might blossom again.
When he expatriated you to Russia, his snow-blown motherland, you imagined yourself a Tsarina; jejunely clinging to his arm like you might fly away with him, carried to an undefiled paradise as though he were your archangel and you his rapture.
That was the last time you loved him.
One step off that jet, the first leap with your exuberant paw; there was no paradise, no utopia waiting for you. Landing hard on icy cement, your husband was quick to stifle your lament. Offered you oxycodone like pebbles of dogfood in the palm of his hand, swearing you an unending supply – his remuneration for your services, whose nature you were not yet privy to.
But those opioids were your wage.
They were your shackles, too.
Even if you managed to outrun your paralysing addiction to them, it didn’t take you long to be tackled and smothered by your intemperate dependence on your husband himself.
On his status, on his money, on his reputation.
Without, you would have been long used and discarded, tossed hollow and floppy like freshly flayed doeskin; exsanguinated by the very men he colludes with, the very creatures that slither into your home, that sit at your table and speak puzzles in their Cyrillic tongues.
The very beasts who your husband endeavours to entertain and indulge with your presence at his side – a glittering trophy, or a ripe fruit, juicy and plump. He holds you in greedy hands and brandishes the shine of your skin, he polishes you with a firm palm on your ass, he boasts his possession of you with a hot tongue on your cheek.
The prize they can never win, that’s what you are. The meal they can never devour. Only his teeth have the privilege of gorging on your supple flesh.
With your English passport long stolen from you, you are left with no option but to be grateful for that fact – that your husband does not whore you out to his compatriots, does not sell your body for some other man to graze on or to pick at, like you used to do yourself.
That is one of the few reprieves he offers you.
Protection.
Maybe, if you had never met him, you would have eventually crawled out of the chasm that your previous life had sunk to. If you had never met him, you might have found a way to break free from your dependence on those poppies. If you had never met him, you might have found worth for yourself beyond the coins hungry men would offer you in exchange for a taste of you.
But any hope you may have had in those days is a distant, futile memory. A bittersweet daydream you sometimes venture to.
Frozen in your sordid reality, you’ve no option but to indulge him.
To oblige him, whatever he wants from you, you play the role he carved out just for you to fill. You massage his neck after a long day. You listen to his broken English as he does his best to explain what had happened at work, in as little detail as possible, in an effort to shield you from the truth of his profession. You swallow his cock when he asks you to. You pretend to let him satiate you all the same, a professional actor you are – you sing those moans for him, when he licks you, when he fucks you, when he pledges to impregnate you.
He doesn’t know you’ve got a copper coil in your womb. You tell him there’s something wrong with his come, he doesn’t believe you. He sends you a doctor, and with his money, you pay them to lie.
That’s the other perquisite, one you can’t belittle.
His money.
His mountains, mountains, mountains of money.
None of it tangible, no real cash, no paper stacks tucked away in places any brave burglars might be able to find it. All of it digital, little numbers, binary code hidden behind so many layers of encryption it’s a wonder it can be counted at all.
But there’s never a need to count it. All you know is that it is unending.
He lets you spend it how you like, and there’s no amount of expenditure that could ever put a dent in his wealth large enough for him to notice.
Still, the prince, he imprisons you in his castle. You can throw invisible money at whatever your bored and inebriated heart might desire, any priceless art, any extortionate car, any lavish designer shoes – and it means nothing. It fills no void. There’s nobody to show it off to.
It appeased you, at first, after your stint of homelessness, then your weeks living in a dim red brothel, until he found you. When he offered you such a nauseating amount of money as payment for your salacious dance, that you felt your knees buckle beneath you at the sight of it. When he took you shopping and bought new lingerie to decorate you with, when he carted you giddy to his private jet.
All too good to be true.
And it was.
Too late now, anyway. This is the hand you’ve been dealt; you play your cards as best you can. Close to your chest. Who knows when you’ll fold.
You lean over the marble vanity, the harsh, downward lighting of the gaudy ensuite carves out the divots and lumps of your face that are typically imperceptible.
You used to think you were beautiful. That’s what everyone told you.
But watching your husband’s cold semen trickle down your décolletage, saturating and staining the invaluable lace and silk chiffon of your rosy babydoll, drying flaky on your skin – you can only see lipstick on a pig. An ugly little creature, destined for the slaughter. Your belly waiting to be made into crackling, your ass into bacon. It won’t be long now.
You sense that you are beginning to overstay your welcome. What had once been pliancy had now turned stiff and sharp. Any sweetness you once felt for the man who swept you off your feet has since coagulated into bitter milk, too lumpy to swallow, so instead, you spit.
The contempt inside your husband has been bubbling, fermenting. You can see it, and feel it, and taste it. He made it known to you especially tonight, fucking you with the brutality of a rabid animal, clutching and clawing, tugging and throwing, biting and beating. Painting you with his come to humiliate you, to degrade you, to remind you what you are, and always will be. He got some of it in your eye.
There’s a bruise on your collarbone. It’s not the first he’s given you. It won’t be the last.
You wipe away the crusting fluid with an opulent towel, dampened with warm water; lush white cotton turning creamy and black as it cleans away the come and mascara. You use it to dab clean your negligee. It’s your favourite one.
Clink.
Your ears perk.
Clash.
Frozen on your feet, your head darts to face the door to the ensuite - heavy and ornate, it sits ajar. Last you checked, your husband was asleep, snoring like a fucking engine. The silence that follows the peculiar noise is what unsettles you most.
Maybe it was him reaching for the pills on his nightstand, or readjusting the eiderdown duvet he sleeps under. But you’d expect a grunt, at least, some huffs of complaint as he was forced to do something for himself for once.
Instead, quiet.
You know that your husband keeps guns around the estate. Both figuratively, in the forms of armed and well-paid sentries that roam the grounds and stand guard by the doors. And, literally. A pistol in the kitchen, a shotgun in his cupboard, an assault rifle under the coffee table.
And, you remember, a Beretta under the sink.
With quivering and cautious fingers, you reach for the brass handle of the drawer.
“Милый?” Sweetie?
You utter it softly, hesitantly, sweetly. He once told you your accent sounds native when you pamper him with pet names. English is your first language, Russian now your second. He doesn’t know how much of it you can understand. More than he believes.
But there is no answer from him. Not a word, nor a groan, nor a snore.
“Все ли в порядке?” Is everything alright?
Your careful fingertips dive into the drawer, momentarily peeking down to find the black metal. A pant of relief jumps from your throat when your fingers find it, that cold handle; you take it in the palm of your hand, it moulds to your grip like it was made for you.
He showed you once how to load it.
You remember.
You clutch the slide with a harsh grip, tugging it back, click-snap.
The safety is off. You’re not that stupid.
“Дорогой?” Sweetheart?
Calls turn to pleas.
You know vaguely the line of work in which your husband is a kingpin. You know it most likely involves bloodshed.
And, so, you guess it involves fucking people over. That it incites vengeance. That it creates martyrs.
Normally, the guards help you sleep, their thudding boots and murmuring chatter keeping the retribution at bay.
Why is it so quiet?
Thud.
Creak.
Now you resent yourself for calling for him. You’ve made your position obvious. You’ve handed yourself on a platter.
Perhaps you can sneak to the hallway.
Or, perhaps you can simply check to see if it’s your husband, skulking around your bedroom and choosing to silently ignore you out of spite.
So on your bare toes, you glide along the glossy tiled floor, pit pat, pit pat. Feline fingers clutch the edge of the door. You gently draw it open, ever so slowly, the golden hinges moaning quietly at their awakening.
You hold your weapon by your side. You keep your finger off the trigger. God knows what you’d do if you shot your husband by accident. You might be better off just turning the gun on yourself, in that case, rather than be left to the dogs. You know what their teeth would do to you.
The bedroom is dark.
The silvery glow of the moon is the only source of light, bar the dim orange now emerging from the open ensuite door. Your kittenish shadow stretches out before you onto the velvety carpeted floor, your shape carved out even through the sheer fabric of your negligée.
“Н�� двигайся, черт возьми.” Don’t fucking move.
Your breath lodges in your throat, wedged in your trachea like you had swallowed a jagged rock.
Not your husband.
No, that voice is far too deep, too grumbling, too threatening.
So who?
“Кто ты, черт возьми?” Who the fuck are you?
You hiss it, a growl, though only the kind a snarling little chihuahua might spit out when touched by an overbearing hand.
Hidden from the moonlight, the figure prowls through the shadow. Towering, imperious, that silhouette renders you frigid - you swallow as much oxygen as your stiff diaphragm will allow you. Not much.
Four red beads of light stretch in a line where his eyes should be, reminiscent of a hunting spider; high enough off the ground that it might be crawling up the walls, hanging from its silk, ready to ensnare you. No, that’s just how tall the beast is as it stalks you.
The glint of the moon reflects off the glistening barrel of his gun. Gun feels like an understatement. It’s immense, black. Machine more fitting. Pointed at you. Coaxing. Warning. He gives it a shake.
“Брось этот крошечный пистолет, шлюха.” Drop that little gun of yours, slut.
The more he talks, the more you doubt. His accent is weak. Not a Russian.
“Чего ты хочешь, мудак? Деньги?” What do you want, asshole? Money?
He scoffs. Arrogant. Scornful.
“I don’t want your fuckin’ blood money, you evil little bitch.”
English.
Explains the accent.
But, you’re left with more questions. One, what the fuck?
“Drop the gun. Or I might get your blood on that pretty dress.”
You hesitate. He pounces.
“Сейчас!” Now!
#call of duty fanfic#cod fanfic#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#cod smut#cod mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x female reader#ghost cod#bitterfruit fics#bitten-fruit
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Hi, Brazilian blogger here. One of my favorite things about Brazilian food is how much variety there is but also the fact that some of the things we eat have to be done so carefully because it could hurt you. Or, at least, they look very odd.
It’s very common in my home state to eat pequi. It’s a small, yellow fruit, it is very, very sweet.
The problem is… that brown thing around the white seed? Thorns. Biting into one might mean you get it stuck in your tongue. But people still eat it, so it became known as the fruit of the state. And people put it in rice and... I’m not a big fan, I would rather not eat it because it is extremely sweet.
Maniçoba is famous in the North of Brazil, it has its origins in the culture of indigenous populations. It’s made from leaves, and it needs to be cooked for 7 (yes, seven) days as to reduce risks of poisoning, the plant is toxic because of the cyanide in it.
After it’s cooked, pork meat is usually added.
Last but not least, there is a plant called guaraná, and it looks like dozens of eyes staring at you. It’s not dangerous to eat. It has a lot of caffeine in it, so it’s used in energy drinks as a stimulant, and in a fizzy drink with the same name. I really like the way it seems to stare at your soul.
#Brasil sil sil#food mention#cw poison#brazilian food#on being Brazilian#Brazil#isso me lembra aquele meme o Brasil não é para iniciantes#original writing#I had to edit this a bit because I wrote it when I was sleepy sorry
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