#sw sh

[miss-game-and-watch]

LOL these two

[hubris-fuckyeah]

Yo! I've never done a matchup, but I'm a 169 cm bi woman. I work as an intern at a marine institute, but I perform in a small theatre after work. I am quite thin, and despite my height, I'm about 108 lbs. I'm half Korean and my favorite pokemon is Zoroark, but I quite like Dragon types. I have medium length, dark brown hair that I like to tie up with a red ribbon, and I wear those circular glasses (it lowkey makes me look like harry potter) sorry if this is wordy, first time submitting

It’s okay it’s not wordy

I match you with .....dun dun dun

Nessa!

Nessa loves your day job and plays with your hair a lot . She keeps trying to get you a job as a model and styles your hair so many different ways. Your Zoroark loves her ( it may be because of the treats!) Goves you the VERY best hugs.

[momueki]

Here’s my character from Sword and Shield. I used the pose of another character from Ken Sugimori so credits to him.

[epichnopterix]

sw/sh sketches

I chose scorbunny, how about y’all?

(spoiler pokemon under keep reading)

[its-squirt]

did i convert a gigantamax into a 100x100 canvas without ever resizing it? yes was it fun? no was it worth it? yes do i love alcremie to a dangerous degree? no- 

[its-whitetomorrow]

After Sw Sh I’m brain dead and can’t even go to sleep right now

Like OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

I expected a lackluster and wanted a good laugh but... I wasn’t prepared for THIS, it’s not even fun (the fact how stupid and pointless it is) because your brain can’t keep up anymore with the sheer amount of disbelief. and you know, Sword Shield they dare to call their “best in the franchise ever” so let’s just take a quick look at the plot and flow of the game...

Literally the first second of the intro:

HELLO EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I’M. A. BAD. GUY. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF POKEMON. Sure, we knew this already it was THAT obvious but... ARE YOU KIDDING ME, Gamefreak? xD

That was fun part only it gets worse much worse...

After a decent intro and quite powerful mysterious encounter turns out to be a let down / a location of wasted potential we’re heading into the world and... nothing really stands out to me, cities and wild areas are fluff, music is hardly memorable or unique, people are all sportsy and progression through itemization is bland. it’s just so generic and the only reason we’re getting another cutscene or apparently “importaaaaant” piece of dialogue (but not really) is to obtain the next item / achieve a check point and leave towards another match / gym battle.

Hey, also... the Dynamax... how fucking bore it is people? Remember Megas? Z moves? Ultra Beasts? Alolan forms? We keep making fun of them and the franchise is indeed getting convoluted but but... hey at least they seemed to matter. subject of mystery, speculation in-universe and research, many of which explained throughout the story, in some cases the player even assists with research and we always find out something new about mysteries

Here it’s...

Fuck off, kid. You can’t help us, go play at the gym.

I MEAN, FUCK YOU ADULTS! I want to learn about the goddamn plot before it’s all over. Fucking seriously people, this game is a disaster.

Ancient sites aren’t really elaborated upon or utilized, mysteries and legends are conveyed through boring, almost sucked out of all spirit, one liners and all-in-all everything anyone ever seems to care about is another pokemon battle. Oh, and hey, did I mention Dynamax is just... there... IMO with the visually boring battle dynamics, they’re just bigger pokemon for the most part with regular moves so wow who cares... everything around Dynamax got turned into a giant competition fest / profit machine - in-universe - with Dynamax dens literally INVADED by groups of trainers who want to get some exp. Even though the power itself seems to be unexplained and remains dangerous. Perhaps better to just leave it alone? But hey, nobody sees any problem with that and the game doesn’t try to be elaborate. In the end nothing changes, heck, you even bring a FUCKING Eternatus into the stadium, a terror being that almost destroyed the entire region last day, but hey, it’s alright... because we got the match! Everyone smile and cheer. Sure sure, I know... it’s Pokemon... but can you be more fucking ridiculous than THIS?

20 seconds after THIS?!

Spekaing of Eternatus... this game doesn’t deserve him. He is too good for this game! It’s beyond me they managed to create an UB even more powerful and terryfying than Nekrozma AND waste it even more than they did Nekrozma. But they did it, I just can’t fucking believe it!

In fact, it gets no mention at all. It just appears during the finale, after cryptic introduction from Rose that basically says “it’s Eternatus” and then “here is what I think of electricity for future generations bla bla bla” THE END. That’s all that we know of Eternatus. SERIOUSLY

Also, it’s pretty clear the Galar League is the huge money making machine that utilizes the fluff of Dynamax to generate yearly interest and money. Perfectly illustrated by the fact that a *certain* gym leader who doesn’t do Dynamax feels completely left out. Heck, his town is literal Po Town, poor, gloomy and dark, and that’s because nobody cares about regular gym leaders these days, Corpo-Dynamax has taken over. But forget it, that’s NOT the plot of this game and this is never going to be mentioned ever again. Now have a good laugh, yes, it’s THAT ridiculous

Some characters were nice and fresh even. Bede in particular, with potential for interesting backstory and decent rivarly in the story. But then, when it seems like Mr. Lysandre 2.0 is going to put him in Alan’s shoes... which would have been an excellent choice by the way... because Bede was desperate for his attention and was willing to do anything for him... they just... disown him? The end? At least until the old lady forces him into *stuff* which turns out to be one of the most interesting plot points of ENTIRE game? But of course this isn’t Pokemon The Galar Misadventures of Bede, so we don’t get to see any of this, unfotunately, just glimpses. Sad but true. Moving on...

Many characters were *just OK* I guess... just what you would expect from your regular Pokemon title and handled pretty well. but it doesn’t help much because it’s all pointless. There is no feeling of journey, no conclusion. They don’t contribute to the plot because there is no plot which makes them feel so shallow by the end. It’s just FUCKING filler. All of it. Go do the next match. Hey let’s have a battle again. How about a rematch. So I told you that one line about the mural (which was *carved on grass* apparently because what else is green... wtf even?) now go catch some pokemon and do a gym challange. Hey it’s me again how about a rematch. FUCK OFF HOP. How dare you intrude on the “plot” again when I thought I was actually going to see something with depth. For gods sake it’s 21st rival battle with you, NOBODY CARES. And the music is lame that it’s not even engaging anymore I can’t imagine how can you actually play throught all of this without losing patience.

But at least there is decent climax hmm? I heard the evil Pokemon is called Eternatus so there must be one! That’s something I would say a day before, no doubt. But the reality... is so shattering. Here is the climax:

Yeah, it starts with this one guy with shades. He is running and you must catch him... catch him you must because key... because Rose Tower... because... because? what exactly? The champion is late for dinner and they’re being little hooligans about it even enlisting the help of Team Yell to disturb order and peace... even though they were just informed the champion and chairman are discussing some important *adult stuff.* No one was kidnapped or anything, they were REALLY just doing THAT

in an incredibly BORING cutscene which, for some reason, wasn’t fully animated and they’re just... slides... WHAT?

The villain of the game, lame as he is, makes his rightous monologue and they’re just... slides? FUCKING SLIDES?

The drama effects from cartoons of the 40st. Oh and did I mention how FUCKING cheap this game is? Where are the little pieces of VA dialogues? Where are the sound effects at least? Anything? No, instead everything is just silent... with music on top of it but otherwise silent... Where are the more dynamic sound effects of Sun and Moon? and well-executed breathtaking cutscenes? OR actual voice over? Like in Yokai Watch 4?

Gamefreak: “look it’s the greatest achievement of our times! because it’s on new powerful hardware but it was also the cheapest! chairman rose for the win!”

Moving on

So yes, the key. Because guy with shades is the “bad one”... as if protecting order and premises of his company was bad... I mean, in truth, he was contributing to something shady, but that’s beside the point - they have no basis for knowing this, but the writing is just all over the place, it doesn’t care anymore. SOMEHOW they all deducted that chairman is “up to no good” so they need to “save” the champion in the tower...

WOW, HE JUST WALKS AWAY, NOT IN DANGER AFTER ALL! WHAT A GODDAMN PLOT TWIST :D

Let’s approciate the company people, they seem like fun, better than Yell they are cheap copy of Team Skull grunts, plus their punk gloomy city is a blatant copy of Po Town... you can’t make this shit up so no I’m not even going to give them a decent paragraph, their faces are annoying btw

But forget this, why aren’t they wearing suits, why is this game so FUCKED UP that they NEED to have *distinct clothes and style* as if they were an “evil team” even though they’re just employees from different subsidiaries. Honestly, forget it, I don’t care anymore, moving on

The only interesting part is the music. Towards the end. Because tracks get better and better, during important story events in particular, and there is a semblance of originality and “journey”. But they have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, for the most part. Cool villain battle themes? They don’t exist. Well maybe Rose. But that’s not *his* music, not his “goal” and his Tony Stark’s “character tragedy” those things weren’t even there in the first place... because he was just SOOOO fucking bland. Also, his reasoning is utter bullshit, not even XY’s Lysandre is as bland even though there were lots of issues

JUST LISTEN TO THIS. Nah... not Rose, not at all. it’s something that’s supposed to play in Ultra Space. Or another dimension of Pokemon where Final Fantasy meets Sould Calibur and Pokemon stories / stakes make *an impact* unlike Sword and Shield

The mystery of the forest, as I metioned before, is shit. Hologram / ghost Pokemon was just an illusion, the forest overall seems like a boring place without a backstory and it’s just the BLAND hub to awaken legendary wolfes and save the day. you can’t get more generic than that

OH HEY REMEMBER WHEN LUSAMINE FUSED WITH THE FUCKING POKEMON AND GUZMA WAS THERE TALKING SHIT ABOUT NIHILEGO

Good times!

Eternatus just dropped with a visit from yet another Ultra dimension and it made me feel like I’m experiencing a totally different story... for 5 minutes

but it’s too late to save this game, not even Bede covered all in soft pink can do that, unfortunately

***

Heeey

what the....

Who are you?

It’s already bullshit post game, what the FUCK are you doing......

Man stop that, I actually LIKE this

WHY ARE THOSE GUYS HERE

AND WHY ARE THEY HERE ONLY NOW?

THEY’RE HAVING A PLAN? AND THE CONNECTION TO ROYALTY / MYTHOLOGICAL ARC / LEGENDARY POKEMON?

WHAAAT?

AND CRAZY YET COMPETENT UNDERLINGS?

It’s MY pleasure

but you should have been the main antagonists of the goddamn game!!!

Crazy self-centered but FUN dudes with royal british manners, that’s what we needed here!!!

[emmic0n]

ohoho how the turn tables

[visivirgil]

SCORBUNNY!!