#suzanna shadows house
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Beach episode
#shadows house#shadows house fanart#patrick shadow#shadows house patrick#barbara shadow#barbara shadows house#john shadow#john shadows house#louise shadows house#louise shadow#shadows house shirley#shirley shadow#kate mirror#kate shadow#kate shadows house#suzanna shadow#suzanna shadows house#benjamin shadow#benjamin shadows house#oliver shadow#oliver shadows house#digital art#beach episode
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you're laughing. somewhere in the manor suzanna may be experiencing coffee withdrawal symptoms as we speak and you're laughing
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I like this char sm, she so adorable:33
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My piece for Duality - a Shadows House fanzine. You can download the zine at its itch (dot) io page.
#shadows house#shadows house barbie#shadows house oliver#shadows house christopher#shadows house suzanna#please please work this time
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Barbara: Shit.
Oliver: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Suzanna: OH MY GOD BENJAMIN FELL OFF!!!
#shadows house#shadows house oliver#shadows house barbara#shadows house benjamin#shadows House suzanna#incorrect quotes
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i noticed with shadows house, the shadow’s clothing follows a specific rule
all the sleeves are long sleeved (see kate and john) or at least half sleeved (see sarah) however for those whose sleeves are shorter, have gloves that go up to at least their elbows (see barbara and suzanna), as far as i’ve seen, aileen is the only exception, since she has no sleeves and short gloves, however a part of her outfit includes something that looks like a cloak that covers both of her arms down to her wrists, which may cancel out for the rule
#this is what happens when you have too much time#but i did notice this a while ago#that's why i pay attention to sleeve length when i make ocs#even the belle twins who have one sleeve#that one in long sleeved#i had to look up aileen's design tho#cause i was really confused until i saw the wing lookin cloak#shadows house#shadows house manga#spoiler#shadows house spoiler#shadows house spoilers
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Shadows House raws spoilers
All the new squads seem so interesting!
I want to see Oscar driving Patrick crazy. I want to learn more about Danny, he seems like the tsundere type, it should be fun. And of course Gilbert!!! Regardless of what he did his goals were noble, so I want to see how he interacts with someone like Patrick wich has more peaceful methods of doing things.
Elizabeth and Loretta being in the relief team should be fun, since we'll probably have to explore Evelyn's character a bit more, I hope we get to see the relief team operating.
I want to see Suzie and Suzanna being team leaders. I feel like this is the perfect way for Suzie to break out of brain-washing, by activating her big-sis mode (although I guess not for Candy ahah) and Suzanna is gonna have fun with the new girls crazy soot powers.
Since Jhon is now alone in his team with William and Henry, maybe we'll finally get to know more about them, it's crazy that we still know nothing about the teammates of two main characters.
And of course last, but definitely not least team 10! First mix-gender team and super packed with interesting characters! Benjamin as a team leader of both Barbara and Louise??? Absolutely perfect! He seems super attached to Barbara, but he also seem to open up to Louise the most, so he should have a nice development, learn to communicate more etc. Barbara being there is also interesting, we haven't seen her interact with either Louise nor the Belles, so I wonder what it will come from that. And who knows also what will happen to Louise after that happened, especially now that Anthony will pretend to be Christopher and she doesn't exactly have the best experiences about Christopher. Also having in her team Barbara, that supports him unconditionally, is gonna have some consequences I feel. An interesting note: all the characters in team 10, except for Barbara, have a mental soot power, idk what that means, but I'm always hungry for some quality mental soot power content, since it's the the type that is least utilized.
All of this to say ANTHONY PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS FOR US, GO AWAY PLEASE, LET ME ENJOY THE DIFFERENT DYNAMICS WITHOUT A MORTAL THREAT FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!
Idk what Barbara put in the coffee but I'm worried.
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I got caught up on the Shadows House manga! (spoilers!!! don't read this if you haven't read it :p)
(well, almost. The latest chapter hasn't yet been posted on the app I have that gives me manga in English, so I haven't read 158.)
I have SO many thoughts!! First of all, it did throw me off how the anime stuck so closely to the manga except for, like, adding an ENTIRELY NEW PLOT ARC which completely disrupted the timelines of when certain things were revealed to the characters. Like, if I remember correctly, the main characters in the manga still haven't ever infiltrated Grandfather's house, Kate only used a Veiled Doll disguise when they were in the Star Bearers' tower to avoid Suzanna, and they have no information about Edward's soot powers. So that's weird. And the Edward of the manga seems much more subtle than to do something as brash as kidnap Emilico.
I guess they wanted a very dramatic ending for the first season? But it seems probably unnecessary to me. Like, I didn't hate that part of the show, but I don't think I would've liked the show less without it. Plus, it removes a lot of the mystery and raises plot hole-type of questions about who knows what and who's, like, in the house. (and also how John got back? I think he said he held onto Edward's bird, but then where was he when Edward got there???) I think it probably would've been dramatic enough to end with the fallout of the debut, and the brainwashing/human reveal.
I am now going to share a bunch of my thoughts on various parts of the story, in no particular order. Sorry about the super long post, I know probably more people would read this if it was broken up, but I didn't want to flood the tag or my own blog.
Maryrose and Rosemary omg!!! 😭🥺😭🥺😭 I love them so much! I think their story was pretty much exactly the same as the show. I did notice, I think just because it was my second time around, that Rosemary doesn't talk, like, at all in the big showdown, or afterward when she's detained, except for when she reveals herself and then hugs Shaun and Emilico. Maryrose does all the talking, and it's kind of set up as just a fight between her and Kate and John, and then, later, Edward. Which I guess makes sense, given the circumstances of their relationship, and especially how they're used to interacting with others, or maybe that's just their personalities. But it would have been sweet to see them behave more like equal partners. I guess I may be projecting Kate and Emilico onto them a bit 😅 They are still great though, of course.
ANYWAY, I have a THEORY!! Or maybe more of a wish? I think it would be really cute if Rosemary and Maryrose ran away to join the circus! 🎪 They already have a lot of parallels to Kate and Emilico, so it kinda makes sense!! Especially considering that Maryrose can't disguise her shadow form, so it will be hard for them to integrate into normal society. (like Kate...) We already know they love to perform, they can do supernatural tricks with soot powers, and "the beauty and her shadow" would be an easy gimmick, as well as an interesting inversion of their relationship at Shadows House. Hopefully they can find one with a nicer ringmaster than Emilico's, but they're also much more prepared to throw down with a grown man than she was.
It was SO satisfying to me when the Patrick and Louise pairs finally got filled in on everything!!! Frankly I did not understand why nobody told poor Patrick about the soot powers right after the debut; it's not like Kate cares about respecting authority. And then even Rum came back 💜 I love when they all get to be a happy little family together 🥰🥰
In general I appreciate how many things seem to go well in this story, especially because it's usually because the characters have decided to work together and trust each other. Even though the fate of their uprising is far from sealed, it's still already had a lot of success, like them befriending the Star Bearers and eliminating the coffee. I feel like in a lot of other stories everything would have to fall apart so much more for the main characters before they got anywhere close to their goals. Which, like, of course there's nothing wrong with that, I just prefer a bit less hopelessness in my stories. Like, the Star Bearer election was such a huge victory!! And they just got to have that! (obviously there will be fallout, but they still got it, y'know?)
The criticism of capitalism really is, like, glaring. I feel like it's most obvious for me in the chapter where Emilico considers that she may have been less miserable if she kept drinking the coffee, but then Kate tries to help clean, and shares her table with her, and cheers her up. It's a tiny piece of the overall story, but it's such a sweet little reminder of, "this system exists to control us by breaking us down, and it will absolutely succeed if we are not there for each other. Relationships, empathizing with one another's struggles, and providing hope and help where it is needed are essential for progress." As someone who has dealt with burnout, that was really...yeah...🥺
I am so curious about where the story is going with Lou and Louise!!! Even before the recent invitation, I kept thinking, "we really don't know that much about them..." Louise's obsession with Lou's beauty is clearly unhealthy, and I assume it's inhibiting her own sense of identity. She's not the most thoughtful, and of the main team, seems to understand the least why what Shadows House is doing is wrong. I'm not even convinced she ever stopped brainwashing Lou, though I don't think she'd realize that's what she was doing. Especially because, in the manga, her powers weren't a huge discovery for her, she was just like, "oh yeah, that's something that I do". And when all the human kids are remembering their home and the selection together, Lou struggles to have an emotional reaction the way everyone else does. That reminded me of when Kate first broke Emilico's brainwashing after the debut, and she was confused at not being able to associate sadness with the memory of Rum and Shirley's loss. However, I do think Louise is firm enough in her connection to the group and their ideals that she won't be comfortable going along with unification. Even if she doesn't feel Edward is giving her a choice, she won't be like, "oh okay this is fine".
I have NO idea where they're going with Sarah and Mia. Someone in the tag pointed out that it looks like Sarah is crossing to the other wing along with Louise, and idk what to do with that!! Honestly, I have been a little confused by their characterization in general, because the first things we learn about them are the Sarah is mean and cruel, while Mia is helpful and kind, only for that to... not quite seem to be the case. Everyone seems to think Sarah is well-meaning but immature, and Mia begins to be the driving force behind Emilico's antagonization. I mean, it does seem like nobody would be aware of Sarah's abuse, and I can see that Mia's attitude toward Emilico would change once she is perceived to be a threat. But the abuse in particular seemed to sort of be swept under the rug? Like, they introduced it and then never mentioned it again, until Mia herself initiated it, which may not be odd if Sarah hadn't become a much more central character. (idk, I'm probably overthinking it!) Anyway, some people were saying they don't think Mia's going to make it, but idk...if either of them dies, it would be the closest-to-the-main-characters character to have a confirmed death yet. And if Mia, specifically, were to die, we'd have a faceless shadow, which we've never had to deal with before, because the Belles were able to share their...Belle. (speaking of whom, is Emi the only one who cares that she LOST HER TWIN SISTER??) Would Sarah be doomed to the death Rum described, or would our group have to rescue and hide her, somehow?
Speaking of all the Belles, again, I really feel like Barbara ought to apologize to them, specifically. She tried pretty hard to kill all of them, and succeeded with one out of four. Because if Belle hadn't made it, they'd have gotten rid of Isabelle and Mirabelle, right? I know Barbara has enough angst happening right now already, but, like, are we gonna talk about that??
Oh yeah, ANTHONY. What a little freak. His backstory puts him in one of the most sympathetic positions in the whole story, but after only a few short appearances, every reader is creeped out by him!! Truly an accomplishment. I mean, we can assume he was emotionally broken by the loss of Christopher, but still. Be cool, dude. One very interesting mystery surrounding him is that of Christopher's soot powers!!! I assume he has some of his soot in the vial, (a bit macabre, to think of him gathering it from a corpse) and is using it to do mind control of some sort?
(I do feel very bad for Barbara btw. Especially after she made such progress by opening up to everyone! I don't mean to gloss over that, I just don't have much to say about it.)
Okay, okay. KATE. 🎀🌹 Dearest, darlingest, mysterious girl. I was so happy when we finally learned the truth about her doll!!! Emilico meeting her (and everyone else tbh) in the village before they went to the House seemed kind of jarringly coincidental, but once I was able to suspend my disbelief in serendipity, it was really sweet!!! 😊🥰 And her having a different history then the other shadows makes her so much more interesting! (Though it does make Maryrose seem like more of an anomaly...) It's kind of funny that so many characters have a second, secreter backstory behind their secret backstory. Has anyone else considered that Kate may already actually be the equivalent to an "adult" shadow, the perfect union of a morph and a human?? I was going to say that she's the death-free version of what Gramps is trying to do, but then I remembered her mother died, so that's a lie. Possessing and killing pregnant women is actually not more ethical than whatever is currently going on.
Romance! As a lesbian who finds most "teen romance" stories grating, I kind of like what Shadows House has done so far, with the characters having various crushes and largely not acting on them, and that taking a backseat to both the main plotlines and their friendships. The crushes are more a vehicle for the characters learning about themselves than for drama. Probably eventually people will start getting together and that will change and I'll get annoyed, but 🤷🏻♀️. The only ones who are like "uwu we're made for each other 😚💕" are the ones who literally WERE. I like the head canon that Kate is a lesbian, and I don't really ship anything except the Roses, of course, and kinda Kate and Emilico. But that's, like...the whole story is about their love for each other, regardless of the form it takes? Not to be like, "they don't need to be gay because their friendship is just as strong", but it is. (I do think they're gay, though) I think I picture them ending up together, but, maybe, like, in a few years?? They are still learning that they are even people. (no hate if you do ship more, though. That's just me.) And I like imagining the main squad as found family besties. Like, "I used to be in love with you when we barely knew each other, then we got close, did a revolution together, and now both we and the shape of that love have changed so much, but we're all still here," type of friends.
Speaking of years, I wonder if the story's timeline will be clarified? rn it's, like, super ambiguous, and I think that might be intentional, but I wonder if we'll get answers.
Oh, okay! I think this'll be the last topic, and it's a totally superficial one. Kate's new digs!!!! ♥️ The scene where everyone came to say hi was so cute, I loved that. Do you think she'll have it redecorated to fit her color scheme more? Also, does this mean Emilico gets a nicer room, too??? And will this make it harder or easier to meet up with the others? Farther away, well, except for Patrick, now, but possibly more space and more freedom? And does Rum always patrol the tower? Cause then they'd get to see her all the time! In general I'm excited for what new things Kate will have access to as a star bearer, but that also means that if the adults find out about the coffee, she'll be blamed for sure.
All right, that's finally it! Thank you for reading, if you read all of this, I love you so much!!! Please tell me what you think about any of my theories or thoughts or whatnot. 💕
#shadows house#kate shadow#kate mirror#maryrose shadow#barbara shadow#anthony shadows house#patrick shadow#louise shadow#is the colored text too much? it's meant to break it up some...#by elise#just me being normal and writing normal length posts#maryrose/rosemary#shadows house spoilers
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~Day 23~
Drinking buddies..... let's hope it doesn't escalate
#shadows house#shadows house manga#shadows house fanart#john shadows house#john shadow#suzanna shadow#suzanna shadows house#johnsuzu#john x suzanna#valethon 2023
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Hide your wallets, it's that time again! Your daily thread of romance deals is ready, $0.99 to $1.99!
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He returns home for a holiday house party, only to find his sister's best friend sleeping in his bed. The misunderstanding leads to scandal and a forced marriage.
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A single mom ready for a fresh start moves to a small town and becomes a librarian. He's a big city ER doctor in town to help out his grandma.
Contemporary Romance (MF) | https://amzn.to/46Yzuwl
$0.99 ✦ Christmas Angel by Jo Beverley
Women are constantly falling in love with him because of his charms, but he wants a marriage of convenience with a sensible woman, no love involved. She's a widowed mother.
KU Title
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She's a divorce attorney, he's an up-and-coming chef. They grew up together.
Contemporary Romance (MF) | https://amzn.to/48l1Odt
$1.99 ✦ The Shadows of Christmas Past by Christine Feehan, Susan Sizemore
2 books:
~ "Rugged womanizer" hero + a veterinarian who is rumored to cast spells
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Putting these lists together takes time. If you appreciate this content, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi. http://ko-fi.com/danielletbq
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barbara: be a leader, they said. it'll be fun, they said.
oliver, from the kitchen: PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
suzanna: IT'S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!
benjamin: It's called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER
[glass shatters. suzanna screams]
barbara: don't join the star bearers. don't
#shadows house incorrect quotes#barbara#oliver#suzanna#benjamin#shadow house#incorrect quotes#star bearers#anime#manga#shadows house
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Good afternoon to absolutely no one except for best boy John
Also:
Flawless
#the perfect character doesn't exis-#BAM#john shadow#shadows house#shadows house chap 91#it's not really spoilers i think#just don't question why they're being sneaky#kate shadow#emilyko#suzanna shadow
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Explaining my SHADOWS HOUSE X HP AU Characters' personalities using other canon chars!!
Golden Trio
Harry/Harlan — Shaun, and maybe just a drop of Lou.
Hermione/Hera — Lou and Kate, and maybe a tinge of Barbara/Barbie for the Star Bearer part!
Ronald/Ron — John, and a bit of Ricky in the side! Also a quarter Ollie for the Star Bearer part as well.
Silver Trio
Neville/Nevi (Unofficial) — Margaret and Maggie, Garden house boys <:]
Luna/Lunar (Unofficial) — Oliver and Ollie, only for the unique half, and maybe a tinge of Suzanna for her serenity in her voice.
Ginevra/Ginny (Unofficial) — Both Louise and John, I see Ginny more of a Louise person while Ginevra was more of a John type. (Ginevra debuted later than Harry's debutante team!)
Tom "Riddle's" Debutante Team (Order based on place in the debut)
Tom/Tommy — Barbara and Barbie, and a tinge of Christopher and Anthony at their growing fame during their Star Bearer days.
(Non-Canon, Only added for the content)
Laurette/Laura — Laurel and Lulu, and a hint of Louise and Lou!
Kaiser/Kai — John all the way, also a little bit of Ollie! Oh, but the two of them are full on like Emilyko's optimism and enthusiasm!
Katherine/Katherina — Louise, they're also somehow like the fem!versions of Patrick and Ricky!
Starlet/Shiela —(Eliminated by Tommy, she was sabotaged and pushed off a hole full of scorches, which left her to die as she suffered immense soot sickness, while Starlet rotted in her confinements from all the soot she produced.)
Tommy being an absolute menace to Shiela and her Shadow Master just for him and his shadow Master (Tom) to win first place 🥹 He started off so young, I'm so proud 🥹 /j
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edward: who broke the coffee jar?
barbara: not me.
benjamin: not me.
oliver: not me!
suzanna: not me.
edward: so the coffee jar broke itself?
suzanna, murmuring: i never did trust that coffee jar.
#shadows house#starblazers#edward shadow#barbara shadow#benjamin shadow#oliver shadow#suzanna shadow
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June 6, 2020: 1:21 pm:
StoneMan Unscathed. Today is colder than I would expect for this time of year. Clouds bring sudden bursts of rain that last only a moment, then move along, on their way through the neighborhood, like a gardener with a water can... a little here, and a sprinkle over there.
I did not hear any sounds made by people when I stepped out there, but it was not quiet. Somehow, there was noise, without noisemakers. There was nothing of interest to look other than the beauty of all of the springtime growth around the creek, and the tall grass that I am not able to mow.
====================
Yesterday was intense.
Non-stop attacks at my house all day long.
I explained some of it as it was happening.
One part I left out. The man with the Makita electric chainsaw was working with another terror soldier, the Makita man was the “finisher”, the other man was the hit/assassin. The hit/assassin had come to my front door, was wearing a “Pixel Suit”, those electronic camouflage suits I explain about sometimes. He was hiding beneath a sawhorse that I put under the dining room window to try to keep the terror bastards away from the window. They hide under windows while blowing Nitrous Oxide through the weep holes in the bottoms of windows. If you don’t know what a weep hole in a window is, you need to go learn about them, and know where the weep holes on your house windows are at. Plug them up, put some tape, putty, or some other way to cover the weep holes.
The asshole was wearing the Pixel Suit there, three feet away from the front door, blowing Nitrous gas around, while that other man with the Makita was about three hundred feet away. The man under the window had a blade, I could see the blade, and the Pixel Suit made that saw horse look much bigger then it is. The Pixel Suit camouflage uses cameras to present items in the surrounding area, onto the suit. Suddenly the saw horse looked like it was made from twenty pieces of wood instead of five. The man attacked and I defended with a broom. The man ran away injured. He went to where the man with the Makita chainsaw was at. I think the man with the Pixel Suit launched towards a horse stable that is at the Chapman terror cell after his Nitrous Oxide tank ignited. The man with the Makita chainsaw looked as if he was tending to the injured man with the Pixel Suit, but only for a moment. I was not able to watch very closely, but I was able to see some of what was going on. I stayed close to my home right then, until the Makita Chainsaw man scurried away after seeing me.
The Pixel Suit had turned off. I could see the man wearing black, all black head to foot there. So, that is important to know, that when the suit is not turned on, that one was black. In the past, they have been a medium grey color when turned off, and looked much like scales on a fish, or lizard skin sort of scales. The terror bastards are improving the quality of the Pixel Suits over time, the black suit looked smooth, I could not see that it had the scales like the older ones have. But, I was about two hundred feet away at the time.
I came back inside, and another person came to my front porch, but ran away when I got up to open the door, I think it was one of those child terror soldiers that was at the 520 house. Kids run real fast.
Then, that is when I went back outside and saw Suzanna Dietrick driving past my house repeatedly, and also saw those three child terror soldiers run from 520 Jackpine to 601 Jackpine, as Suzanna turned her car around for another driveby.
All of that leads me to believe the Pixel Suit was worn by Burton Mitchel Dietrick, and he had attacked me at my front porch, with a sword, and a Pixel Suit camouflage. He was working with someone that looks like Christopher Mecca, who had the chainsaw, and was waiting to do the “finishing” part of the attack. That’s the part I left out yesterday. The act performed by the two people who were wearing identical shirts I mentioned, one old farmer looking character, and one young man character, has a name, it’s been done before, is an act, part of a “plug-in” terror scenario and I remember what it’s called: “I’m my own grandpa” is the act performed by the two I described. It’s been done the same way at the same place before. I don’t specifically know why, or to what end, the activity of that kind of presentation is for. There was a third part of that two person act, and I don’t know how that fits in either. There was a person wearing dark colors hiding in shadows as the Twin Grandpa Shirts were making themselves visible.
All of that, and yesterdays report, is a description of how a terror military attack happened in a US rural neighborhood. It’s completely different then the kind of explanation one might expect to read about a terror military attack. That is part of why the bastards are so successful.
End terror report: 2:09 pm:
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hello 🍓🍍 and 🍅 please !!
🍓 - What is one word that would describe the feeling your character gets when they think about their childhood?
Harrison: Demanding
Lonan: Lonely
🍍 - What was the funnest scene to write in your WIP so far?
Scene G in chapter four of Feeding Habits, Coup de Grace is the most fun I have had with writing... probably ever? I couldn’t share a lot of it because I didn’t think it would be appropriate, but the section where Eliza cuts off Lonan’s hair and they chat about mating habits of the preying mantis is SO GOOD I really peaked. How can I not love that scene?? It’s the birthplace of the iconic “I’m the grass” Lonan dialogue.
🍅 - What is your OC currently in denial about?
I’m going to answer this for Harrison because him being in denial about missing Lonan is literally the entire brand of his POV!! Here’s a compilation of Harrison being in denial about missing Lonan for an entire chapter straight:
Subtle denial:
“You didn’t tell me she was Lonan’s sister.”
Harrison pokes at a flake of pastry and wipes his hands on the front of his jeans. Reeve’s bangles clatter in a cyan jangle as she applauds at the same contestant she previously ridiculed. There are so many things he could say to his mother—he knew Reeve first, Reeve isn’t just Lonan’s sister to him, more like his own, but when he adjusts himself, swallowing and tidying the hem of his shirt, all that comes out is, “I didn’t think you needed to know.”
more OVERT denial:
“I would’ve like to,” Suz says. “Does she know? That you don’t know where he is?”
Harrison’s fingernail catches on a loose thread, and he yanks it out so even Reeve glances back at its upholstered plink. “I know where he is, Suzanna.”
mans said “though he knows it should no longer matter to him”:
Though Suzanna eventually leaves, joining Reeve on the couch, propping her feet on the same coffee table so their polished feet touch, toes pink like raw cherry tomatoes, though he knows they’re both right in knowing and not knowing where Lonan is, though he knows it should no longer matter to him, he finds himself leaning against the table where the kittens encase each other in a plastic shoe bin, ticking his fingers at his side.
Suzanna: stirs the pot Harrison: let’s just completely ignore this:
“How’s your brother?” Suzanna asks, yawning like the answer will bore her even though she’s the one who’s asked. She rests her chin against the rib knit throw, her hair frizzing against the yarn.
The fake audience cranks out another caw of laughter, and on comes a commercial for kitchen scrubbing pads. The woman’s voice sudsy, vinylic, like the sheen of dish soap as a mannequin-like hand smooths grease from a ceramic saucer.
Harrison reaches for the kittens, and onto his finger, one crawls, its paws no bigger than the size of a pencil eraser. When Harrison looks back to the women, Reeve’s face is paler than before, her red-wine thrush receding.
More ignoring:
Harrison turns his back and pretends to tend to the kittens. They all know he does nothing but thumb the backs of their heads, let them suckle against his fingertips—they all know, and yet, he continues doing it. Silence cuts through the apartment like hot glass.
Harrison at a Las Vegas party:
Also Harrison: *thinking about not thinking about Lonan*:
There was no emptiness, no bare spot needing to be filled when he levitated between them. There was no Lonan, no faces to remember, nobody to impress, no one to be responsible for.
OH OH is this addressing the denial??
He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as he did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making one decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour, unknowingly inseparable.
lmfao he really didn’t try to save this one he said pass me the wine lmfaoo:
“Why did you want to see me?” she asks, her face shielded in shadow, which he’s grateful for. She adjusts her hood around her ears, fingers tapping absently on the kitten’s shoebox.
“I missed you.”
“You wanted to see Lonan.”
“I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“It also helps that he’s got my face.”
Reeve hands him the bottle, and Harrison drinks a swig of wine gladly.
oh here we have overt ADMISSION (regarding the above^^)
Under the streetlamp, Reeve is softer than she was in the apartment, and this orange haze of her both comforts and saddens him. Reeve is not wrong. This is the only truth he knows.
I did not lie when I said he was in denial:
Lonan does live in her face, as she’s suggested, and he understands it’s why he finds it difficult to look at her. The same shift of their hair, like the smear of oil, the same chin, like it was carved out of soapstone, the same set of their mouths, not quite a frown, not quite at rest. It isn’t why he rummaged through a phone book the day Foster left looking for any semblance of her name, calling everyone he could find with a name similar to Reeve—the Eves, the Revas, finally settling on an Evie M. Aldridge—this is what he tells himself. It isn’t why. But what other reason would there be?
Proof:
“What do you miss about him?”
Harrison blinks. He hasn’t expected her to speak to him again, in fact he’s pictured the night whittling into gauzy silence, them setting the box afloat in the fountain, and then leaving once more, wordless. Reeve drinks another sip of wine. Its scent stings, like earthy cranberries.
“I don’t,” he says, which is a lie, and they both know it.
my thesis, proven:
She looks at him in absolutes, like she sees his every answer scraped into his cheek and doesn’t need to check his work. Her eyes are feline and rimmed with kohl and aquamarine mica—she doesn’t need anyone to tell her the truth because she holds it in her fist. “He has a girlfriend. He’s happy.” Harrison rations more wine down his tongue, three times as much as he’s intended to drink.
“But what do you miss about him?”
Harrison misses nothing. He sleeps little and smokes too much because he misses nothing. He walks by himself, eats by himself, talks to himself because he misses nothing. He jumps from job to job, person to person, place to place because he misses nothing. He wakes up in dazes the colour of blackberries because he misses nothing. He blinks dreams from his eyelashes like they’re bad spells because he misses nothing. He holds himself, he drinks himself, he leaves no company for anyone because he misses nothing about Lonan. He misses absolutely nothing.
I *wonder* who he is referring to:
The man must ask him if he’s intoxicated, never noticing the shoebox floating in the fountain, because Harrison says, “Who’s to say? I miss so many things,” and isn’t talking about the bottle of wine, and Reeve, that both seem to have vanished, as if they were never there.
This is indisputable at this point:
Harrison draws his index finger through the slush, doodling nonsense—letters of his name, an eyeball, a singular, faceless nose. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”
Harrison in Denial: The Finale:
His hands move for him. Dividing the snow in slopes, curves, lines—letters. When he’s finished, he rests his chin on his own shoulder and dries the slop of slush from his nail. The security guard leans over, bends down to get a better look, but Harrison doesn’t have to look to know what he’s written. Chiselled so the flurries fill its gaps, like cement. His name will be erased by dawn. Lonan.
and my point! is proven!
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