#suspiral

[lesdeuxmuses]

Suspiral - Delve Into The Mysteries Of Transcendence (Sentient Ruin Laboratories, 2021)

[theballadofmortimerlepastorale]

SLW 2023, episode 36 (2023_10_07)

ALL VINYL BLACK METAL SET

Broadcast: KTQA-LP 95.3 FM Tacoma, streaming address at KTQA.org

01. Necrófago - Morbid Death (Passos, Brazil 1987)

Voice-Over/Intro, music in the background: Dark Day - Meadowlands/Darker Days (New York City, New York 1985/1986)

02. Vandöd - Burden Of Eden (Malmö, Sweden 2007)

03. Aenaon - Kafkaesque/Suncord (Ioannina, Greece 2011)

04. Shining - Stonelands (Stockholm, Sweden 2000)

05. SVRM - У пеклі (Kharkiv, Ukraine 2020)

Voice-Over/First Break, music in the background: Dark Day - Shod With Boots Of Ether/In Sickness And In Health(The Broken Vow)(New York City, New York 1985/1986)

06. Urfaust - De Filosofie Von Een Gedesillusioneerde (Asten, Netherlands 2020)

07. Venom - Live Like An Angel (Newcastle upon Tyne, England 1981)

08. Abigail(ABIGAIL/BARBATOS) - Descending From A Blackend/Count Barbatos (Tokyo, Japan 1993)

09. Whoredom Rife - Beyond The Skies Of God (Nidaros, Norway 2017)

Voice-Over/Top of the Hour Break, music in the background: Dark Day - The Haunted Child (Wales Whales Wails)/Lost In The Shuffle (New York City, New York 1985/1986)

10. WODE - Lunar Madness (Manchester, England 2021)

11. Hulder - Into The Crypts Of Rays (Celtic Frost cover)(Portland, Oregon 2018)

12. Leviathan - The Axis And Maw Of Inferno, Mine (San Francisco, California 2002)

13. Cénotaphe - Myosis (France 2020)

Voice-Over/Third Break, music in the background: Dark Day - Giantess(The Old Ones Come Home)/The Disappearance (New York City, New York 1985/1986)

14. Mayhem(The True Mayhem) - Pagan Fears(live)(Norrköping, Sweden 2015)

15. Darkthrone - Under A Funeral Moon (Kolbotn, Norway 1993)

16. Departure Chandelier - Life Escaping Through The Candle's Smoke (Montréal, Canada/New York)

17. Suspiral - The Crimson Void (Galicia, Spain 2019)

Voice-Over/Last Break, music in the background: end of playlist selection #17

18. Grave Upheaval - Necrose Evangelicum (Brighter Death Now cover)(Queensland, Australia 2016)

[lefaystrent]

Suspire

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic LAMP

Summary: Roman's favorite weighted blanket is ruined.

Roman wouldn't say that he adjusts well. He merely finds ways to cope.

AO3 Link: click here

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It's just a blanket.

Roman is an adult. He has a job. He buys his own groceries, and he pays his portion of the rent on time. He keeps up with his student debt even when some months he hangs on by his fingernails.

It's just a single blanket.

Roman has other things in his life to be happy about. He has his paintings and keyboard. He has his dearest friends whom he lives with. He's active in his local theater community and often lands roles. He has a roof over his head, parents who care for him, a brother who he can stand sometimes. A car that works.

It's just a fucking blanket.

That's what he tells himself over and over as he stares vacantly at the ripped threads. The tear that had been snagged wide open, and the weighted material inside quickly coming outside. He holds it, remembering the marvelous weight on his shoulders, the pressure on his back, the comfort it gave him. The security and warmth. The way he will never feel it again. How he can't go back and fix it.

He can't afford another one right now. It's one of those tight month's budget-wise. And even if he could, it would not be this one.

Roman holds his blanket and unravels alongside it.

***

Roman wouldn't say that he adjusts well. He merely finds ways to cope.

He takes longer showers. The sizzling pinpricks of water cascade over him, beating down on his shoulder blades. It's too hot, close to boiling, but the burn is nice even if his skin begs him to stop. If he stands directly under, it's almost encompassing. It's almost enough.

He wears more layers. Roman tends to add a jacket over any attire anyway. What's another sweatshirt under? Or a scarf tied protectively around his neck? It doesn't matter that this too is overheating. His bones are brittle, and he needs to wrap them somehow. The skin is not enough. It bruises far too easily.

The most embarrassing thing he tries is wedging his whole body into or under anything that may work as a substitute. He tears apart his room testing this and that and wants to cry in frustration as he lays on the carpet with his entire mattress smothering him. He steals all the pillows in the house when he's sure the others are out, and he piles them up. But burrowing into them is too soft and leaves him more frustrated. He crawls under the couch one day and nearly has a panic attack when the front door unlocks and Logan walks in. He plays it off as having lost the remote. He can't bear to admit the truth.

That is, until he's left with no other choice.

***

Roman sits at the dining table working on an art project involving thousands of multi-colored beads. His desk in his bedroom simply isn't large enough, so here he is.

Patton enters the kitchen behind him, and Roman knows its him by the smell of his eucalyptus scented shampoo. Then he sees freckled arms emerging over his shoulders, wrists adorned in friendship bracelets, and they snake around Roman's collarbone. Roman's hands fix in mid-air, eyes going blank as Patton presses up against his back and rests his chin on the top of Roman's head.

"You're so creative," Patton praises, and that alone could usually keep him comfortably warm long into the cold night. But everywhere that Patton touches him, every press of muscle and firm flesh, it scorches in the most pleasant burn.

"I can't wait to see it when it's done," Patton says, and Roman can feel the hum of his voice, how it vibrates his scalp and dances down the back of his neck. A shiver shoots up his back, and Roman cannot dedicate his attention to anything else if he tried.

Roman takes too long to respond, too frozen in his posture.

Patton notices. "Kiddo? You okay there? Was I not supposed to see?"

As if the art piece means a damn to him in this moment. What matters to him with eye-opening crystal clarity is that Patton's arms are loosening and his weight shifts so that he's not leaning against him as much. The loss of that is an incomparable grief.

Roman drops what he's holding, uncaring that some of the beads clatter off the side of the table to skitter across the floor. His hands clutch at Patton's wrists and fold them back around his neck. He draws the blessed weight against him once more, and he keeps it there, scared to let it go. Scared to be exposed once more.

"Roman?" Patton's tone is careful now, wary that something is wrong. His head settles back on top of Roman's, but his face nestles into the side of his hair, the edge of his glasses barely grazing. His voice whispers at his ear, "Did something happen?"

Yes, something happened. Roman's favorite weighted blanket is ruined and he's acting like a child about it. The shame excavates a pit in his stomach. There are depths to it that he doesn't wish to look at, let alone express.

"Can you–" Roman begins, but there's a lump caught in his throat. His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, too small and full of trepidation. He swallows and blinks rapidly. "Can you stay? Like this?"

"Hugging?" Patton asks to clarify. Roman doesn't think he's mocking him. Patton would never mock. He wouldn't judge. Not this. Never this. Please don't judge him for this.

"Mmhm," Roman hums, because if he doesn't use words he won't sound so pathetic, yet he immediately fails. The vocalization comes out high-pitched and needy, and tears spring to his eyes unbidden. He doesn't dare blink his eyes now.

Patton doesn't answer at first, and Roman is enormously relieved that they can't see each other's expressions. Roman fears what he would see on Patton's face, and if Patton could see him right now? He doesn't think he could hold on to his composure.

"Okay," Patton says, voice flower-petal soft. "We can stay like this. However long you want. I don't mind."

Patton skims his nose back and forth over Roman's hairline. His hands spread out, palms covering the top if Roman's chest. His hold is a cradle, gentle and safe, and it holds him together and doesn't let him fall apart. The arms tighten around him, compressing, and Roman holds them right back.

***

Patton becomes his saving grace.

He is wonderful in that he needs no explanation. His affections are given freely, without cost, whenever Roman needs them or even when he doesn't realize he needs them. Patton starts to hug him more often and cuddle him during movie nights. He ruffles Roman's hair as he passes by, or he grabs him by the hand when he's excited. Sometimes he'll trail his fingertips over Roman's face in lazy lines that set his mind at ease.

It's exhilarating.

Roman can't get enough. The need never ceases, and Patton is just one person. He cannot always be at Roman's beck and call. Patton has work and outings he leaves for, same as everyone else. And when he's home, it doesn't mean he's available at all hours. Like the middle of the night for instance.

Roman stands at Patton's firmly shut bedroom door like a sad dog. His fists tighten into the thighs of his sweatpants. What did he expect really? That Patton's door would be wide open at two in the morning? That he'd spy light on under the door and get the courage to knock? Patton said he was there for Roman any time, but that doesn't mean Roman gets to take advantage and disrupt his sleep schedule just because Roman is too pathetic to fall asleep without his blanket.

Patton has done so much for him lately. He's good like that, a saint. Roman can't monopolize him. It wouldn't be fair.

Then why does he continue to stand there in the dark hallway? A damsel in distress waiting for his prince to save him? Or hoping the door will magically open and he receive some form of pity.

He's worse than pathetic. He's absolutely rotten.

A sliver of light illuminates the hall, a door squeaking open. Roman nearly jumps out of his skin and looks behind him where Logan stands in the doorway to his own bedroom.

"Roman?" Logan says, looking just as surprised. "I didn't think you'd be up this late. Don't you have work in the morning?"

"Heyyy, Specs," Roman gets out tremulously. He scratches at the back of his head, searching for some excuse. Think of something, damn it. "I uh, yeah. I've got work in the morning. Just...out for a stroll."

"A stroll?" Logan repeats. His brow raises and he's giving Roman that look that he gives him all the time, like he's stupid and not worth his time.

Roman crosses his arms and stares down at his bare feet. "Yeah, I can stroll where I want. What are you, the hall monitor?"

"I never claimed to be, nor would I want to. You live here; walk where you wish."

"Good, I'm glad we've covered this," Roman replies. He whips his head up when Logan breezes by him down the hall. "Wait, where are you going?"

Logan sends him a bemused glance. "I was going to make a light snack before bed. Why are you following me?"

"Don't try to distract me and just answer the question!"

"I did, Roman."

"Oh... well, answer it again!"

That gets an actual snort out of Logan. Roman shuffles behind him into the kitchen as if locked in a gravitational pull. He watches him pull out a loaf from the bread box along with a tub of butter from the fridge. Roman dithers there observing, reluctant to leave. Logan must accept that Roman has no intention of leaving him alone because he gestures to the bread. "Want some?"

Roman looks between the spreadable butter and bread. "Are you just eating buttered bread?"

Logan rolls his eyes. "No, I was planning to eat buttered toast with jam. But if you're not interested..."

"No, you can make me some," Roman swiftly interrupts while trying to make it sound like it's something Logan should be honored to do.

Logan extracts another slice of bread. He plugs up the toaster oven. "So, couldn't sleep?"

"And what if I couldn't?"

Logan sighs, "Not everything is a challenge, Roman."

Roman shifts self-consciously and mutters, "Not with that attitude, Gay Jude."

Logan smiles a little bit after he inserts the bread to be toasted. "Ah, The Beatles. Would you like to hear some interesting facts about them?"

Roman has nothing else to do so he shrugs. Logan enlightens him while they wait for the little ding. Roman snags the jar of crofters out of the fridge before Logan gets a chance, and Roman smirks victoriously at him but spreads the jam on Logan's toast in apology. They eat and drink water, and Logan asks if he's going to go to bed now.

Roman's brows crease. "Actually, why are you up?"

Logan adjusts his glasses, a tell that he's been caught doing something of mild embarrassment. "I was reading a novel."

"That good, huh?" Roman quips with a grin. He and Logan share a surprising amount of similar taste for literature, so Roman doesn't doubt that the writing is less than phenomenal if it's enough to keep his favorite nerd up into the wee hours of the night.

"I would tell you about it, but then you would chide me for giving you spoilers whether or not you intend to read it."

"Mm, I probably will," Roman agrees.

"Then if you don't require anything else, I really must insist we both go to bed. It will be difficult enough to rise later this morning."

"What if I did require something else?" Roman suggests before he can bite his tongue.

And Logan, dependable Logan who at least always hears him out, turns to him fully. "I am all ears, as they say. Which is a ridiculous saying; we only have but two."

Roman doesn't laugh or tease as he usually would. And maybe that tips Logan off more than it should.

"Roman?" he prompts. Because he's so smart, he deduces, "Does this pertain to why you're up so late?"

Roman's gaze strays. It's dark in the kitchen. They didn't bother turning on a light, letting the streetlight guide them from outside the kitchen window. It's too obscured for Logan to see the heat in his cheeks or how he picks nervously at his nails.

Roman gnaws at the inside of his cheek. "It doesn't...not have to do with it."

"You're being vague. That's not like you."

"You don't know what I'm like."

"And you've been defensive. More so than usual. You are upset about something."

Roman just about chokes on air. "What?! No. Nooo, I'm not."

"Was it something I did?"

That punches Roman in the gut. The concern Logan is giving him, it knocks his feet right out from under him and has the truth spilling from his lips. "No, Logan, I just want a hug!"

Roman is infinitely more glad than ever that it's too dark to see. His face is on fire, and he can't look in Logan's direction.

"Happy now?" Roman asks bitterly.

"Roman, if you wanted physical affection, all you had to do was ask."

"What."

He's enveloped in a strong embrace.

Oh. Ohhhh.

Hugs are different. Different people give different hugs. Roman knows this, he does. He's had hugs throughout his life. He's not like, touch-starved or anything. It's just– it's like a reminder. A reminder with all the force of a slap to the face.

He had been so focused on Patton's hugs that he never thought to ask the others. Why would he? He never really did before. Things have just been hard since he lost his blanket, his comfort item. It's not usually like this. Roman's not usually like this, so dependent or desperate for attention.

In Logan's arms, he feels all of that melt away. In fact, his whole body melts into the embrace. A rush of air coaxes out from deep within his lungs as Logan's arms secure around his back. One hand hooks behind Roman's head and pulls him into the crook of his neck. The scent of Logan's faded cologne and laundry detergent fill his nostrils. There's lavender mixed with something else he can't distinguish but is wholly welcome and soothing.

Logan rubs circles into his back, and Roman leans heavily into him. Roman's arms raise like anvils hang off them, and it's all he can manage to circle them around Logan's waist and hang on for dear life.

"Is this satisfactory?" Logan asks. Roman might would answer him if not for the fingers scratching patterns into his scalp. His toes curl in bliss, and his mind sinks into fog. He buries his face further into Logan's neck and shoulder as if he can crawl into Logan's chest and hide there.

"I'll take that as a yes," Logan muses and squeezes him gently.

Roman doesn't make it back to bed for a while.

***

Logan joins Patton in the free affection initiative. Roman wonders if he and Patton discussed this or if Logan is doing it of his own volition. Either way, there is a definite increase in Logan's deviated mannerisms around Roman.

He pats him more on the back. He holds his hand when they sit next to each other. And there's a couple times Logan goes so far as to kiss his forehead. That left Roman blustering and bumbling like an idiot for hours after, because who is this person dressed like Logan? Surely not his nerd. Still, he can't deny the giddiness it evokes.

Things get a bit easier from there. The more it happens, the more he can normalize it. The more he normalizes it, the more he doesn't have to feel ashamed, right? If someone like Logan would go to the trouble...he doesn't have to feel silly about it, right? He can still be taken seriously?

Roman aches less for his blanket. The pain remains, but it's bearable. He feels less likely to break down in a sobbing mess, and that's progress. Right?

Virgil suspects something is going on.

It was bound to happen. He never stops watching out for them or simply watching them. If Patton hadn't accidentally found out about Roman's predicament, Roman thinks that Virgil would have been the first to suspect. As it is, Virgil observes the way that Patton and Logan act around Roman, and it's just enough different than normal. Just out there enough for him to see.

"Are you guys dating?" Virgil blurts out of the blue one day.

It's just the two of them at home, chilling on the couch together watching TV. Roman figured Virgil was having a bad anxiety day from the noncommittal responses he's been giving and how he keeps biting at his nails. Obviously, there have been other topics plaguing his thoughts.

"Who?" Roman asks, because really, who? Roman is single and proudly on a quest to love himself. Virgil knows this. Or at least, he thought he did.

Virgil squirms in his seat like he can't find a comfortable position. "Nevermind, just forget it."

"Well now I really can't forget it."

Virgil groans and buries his face into his hands. "You. And Logan, and Patton. Are you guys dating? If you are, it's whatever. I just would think you guys would tell me."

Roman gives him a semi-horrified look. Not all the way horrified, because Roman is a catch, and his friends are equally catch-worthy, but that's just... that's not how they are together.

"No? Why would you think that?"

Virgil gives him a look. "What else am I supposed to think? You guys have been acting all weird. You can't deny it. I'm not crazy. Or blind."

"Weird how? No seriously, I'm being for real."

"You know. Like all soft? And touchy feely?"

Roman can't help but quirk a smile at how awkward Virgil is acting, as if it pains him to say something so sappy. It's easy to fall into his confident persona. He leans in closer. "Aww, are you feeling left out, Emo?"

Virgil shoves him away. Not with his hand but with his leg because he has to be extra. "Okay, if you're just gonna be a dick about it, I can just go to my room."

And the bravado rushes out as quickly as it arrived. He doesn't want Virgil to leave, and he certainly doesn't want Virgil to entertain the notion that Roman is making fun of him maliciously.

Virgil stays long enough for Roman to fall into contemplation. Virgil peaks up at him and sees Roman looking back at him, completely serious.

"What?" Virgil asks, and there's a bit of a snarl there. Okay, Roman probably deserves that.

"We're not dating," Roman says quietly.

Virgil doesn't believe him. Or at least, he's suspicious of what's not being said. "Then what's up with you guys? Something's going on, and I..."

And Virgil isn't a part of it. He's on the outside looking in. More than that, he thinks they're excluding him on purpose.

Impulsively, Roman says, "Can I ask you something? In all seriousness?"

Virgil's eyes peer at him in narrowed slits, cautious and curious. Roman can see his inner debate, weighing his options of pushing Roman or letting it go or maybe even getting up to leave altogether. It'd be fair; Roman is answering him with a question of his own. Roman isn't sure he would be so patient, in Virgil's place.

But Virgil is more patient than people give him credit for. He nods. "Shoot."

Roman averts his gaze now, suddenly jittery with nervous energy. "Actually, it's more a question of asking you to do something. Can I ask you to do something? And you not laugh at me? Or think I'm weird? You can say no, of course, I just–"

"Roman. Ask away. The worst I can say is no, and I promise not to give you shit for it if I do."

Despite himself, Roman needs a little more assurance. He holds up his hand. "Pinkie promise?"

"Really dude?"

"Virgil, it is a sacred oath."

"Okay, fine, whatever." Virgil threads their pinkies together. "I promise not to be a jerk if you don't."

"Deal," Roman agrees.

"Now, what is it you want to ask me to do?"

"Will you lay on top of me?"

There's no going back. There's no pretending that he misspoke, even as Virgil tilts his head as if he must have heard him wrong. When Roman doesn't budge, Virgil goes stock-still, eyes slowly blowing up wide.

"Uh....what?"

Roman huffs, more frustrated at himself than anything else. "Would you lay on top of me?"

"No, I heard that. I'm just trying to process."

"Then yes or no. You don't need to say anything else. Just yes or no."

And because it's Virgil, he very much has to say anything else. "What do you even mean though? Why?"

Roman groans and waves towards the couch. "Just– you know, I lay on the couch and then you lay on top of me. It's not that complicated, so don't overcomplicate it."

"I overcomplicate going to get a glass or water, Roman. You can't tell me not to overcomplicate you randomly asking me to lay on you."

"I thought you promised you weren't going to be a jerk?"

"I'm not trying to be!" Virgil swipes at his face, his own aggravation mounting. Roman notices that his cheeks are dusted a light pink. "I just don't understand how this relates to anything or why you want me to..."

Roman shrugs sort of helplessly, smile sardonic. "I just do. There's...no trick that I'm playing at, if that's what you're wondering. I want you to lay on me, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. So would you? No wrong answer."

Virgil looks away a couple of times. He thrums his fingers over his knees, tap, tap, tapping. "I mean, I guess?"

"You guess?"

"Sure then. I'll do it, even if I think I'm the last person you would want to cuddle or whatever, but you'll explain after that?"

"Cross my heart." Roman mimes the motion over his chest.

Virgil stands up. He doesn't move far, just stands there gripping the hem of his hoodie while looking lost. "So..."

Roman scoots down on the couch to where he lays back with his head supported by the couch arm, his legs stretching out along the cushions. He shoves away the embarrassment, the shame, the voice in his head asking what the hell he is doing. Virgil watches him closely, eyes squinted and trying to figure out how to approach.

"Get in here, Emo," Roman calls, holding out his arms.

Virgil grunts and clambers over him. He takes too long to figure out where to put one knee, and Roman adjusts. He spreads out a leg to make room and guides Virgil down. The sides of Virgil's jacket hang over him like a curtain as Virgil hovers in the air, afraid to rest fully against him.

"I'll be heavy," Virgil warns. "You're not going to be able to breathe."

"That's fine, I don't need to," Roman says, half-joking. He's more fixated on tugging at Virgil's shirt to get him to close that last foot of space.

"I better not hear you complain then," Virgil says and finally, finally, drops down on Roman, letting his full weight settle on him.

It's everything that Roman has missed.

Roman can sense Virgil's body from head to toe. Their legs, hips, stomachs, chest, shoulders, all of it pinging across Roman's nervous system at every point of contact. Virgil's arms are folded on either side of Roman's torso, and he can feel the lean limbs against his sides like a harness. Virgil nudges his head stiffly under Roman's chin, and Roman wraps his arms around Virgil's back and holds him tightly to complete the full body hug.

He's sinking into the cushions. His muscles release weeks' worth of tension, letting go and relaxing. He's delightfully sandwiched under Virgil's weight, warmed in his closeness. The warmth is dizzying, like little bumblebees buzzing serenely and drowning him in honey, so sweet and cloying. Virgil's hoodie is a pillow under his palms, and Roman can see why he wears the garment all the time. Roman would wear Virgil all the time if he could.

"Is this it?" Virgil asks, seemingly unimpressed by the magic surrounding them. "Is this what you wanted?"

Roman squeezes more. Virgil wasn't wrong, he's heavy but in the most incredible, indescribable way. Despite the pressure, it's like Roman can breathe again. It's perfect, exactly what he's been craving.

"Hug me any tighter and I'm gonna bruise," Virgil remarks lightly, and something about the words or the tone is more than Roman can take. He breaks.

A shudder shakes him as tears spill over in wet streaks dripping down, salty droplets catching in his mouth. It's abrupt and overwhelming, and it's all coming back to him. The grief, the embarrassment, the shame, the desperate need. He can't stop it, can't hide it. Virgil is right here, and if he doesn't hear the whimper that escapes him, he surely can't ignore when Roman full-on starts sobbing.

"Princey?" Virgil says and sits up quickly. He pushes himself up off of him, and the soothing, wonderful pressure is wrenched away. The cold air bites at his skin in its place. Roman's cries devolve into hysterics, and he can't catch his breath to save his life. Virgil is gaping at him. He sees him in all his wretched ugliness. "Oh shit, what's wrong? Roman? Hey, hey, shhh, don't do that. Please, look at me, why are you crying? Talk to me Roman, I won't laugh, I promise."

Words are beyond him. Roman clings weakly to Virgil's shirt, tugging at him, begging him not to leave with actions and desperation alone. How can he convey his heart shattering to pieces? Or his skin eating itself alive? Or his bones splitting down to the marrow? A keening cry pierces his eardrums. It's a sorrowful weep from his own lips, a sound he didn't think he could make. A sound he's heard in the background for a long time and thought would go away if he ignored it.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere," Virgil lets out shakily, miraculously interpreting Roman's crazed antics correctly. He stays over Roman, caging him in sweetly with his body. His fingers come up to brush the tears away using the cuffs of his sleeve. "It's alright, sweetheart. Just breathe with me. You're okay, you're okay. I've got you."

Roman is not okay, and Virgil's wild darting eyes share the same sentiment, but if you say a thing enough times, it'll come true by sheer force of will. And if Roman can keep pulling at Virgil, maybe he will go back to crushing him softly.

"What do you want? Do you want this? We can keep laying here. That's okay, Princey. You're okay. You're doing so good, telling me what you need."

Virgil lowers back on him, chest to chest. Roman would hug him in relief if he wasn't too busy turning his face to the side and trying to cover up. He stifles his gasps against the back of his hand. Virgil, thankfully, doesn't pull away his defense. He presses at his chest clumsy and earnest, rubbing his hands over his collar, massaging comfort into him and encouraging him to focus on the motion, to breathe together.

Roman listens to him and hangs on to every word as he talks him through it. Virgil never stops. He speaks far more tenderly than Roman is used to, and it's more astonishing than Logan's recent developments. If Virgil acted like his prickly self, Roman could manage to pull himself together. But Virgil is being lovely in his sweetness, watching him with dark eyes that are ferocious with compassion. It's a gaze that says he'll tear the world apart to keep him safe. Roman doesn't deserve him.

"I'm sorry," Roman whines. It's not enough to sum up his sorrow, yet it's all he has to give.

Virgil looks impossibly more bewildered. He shakes his head and goes back to wiping the tears from Roman's face, so careful in his handling. "Roman, you have nothing to apologize for."

"I'm sorry."

"No, listen to me," Virgil demands and cups his face, making him look right at him. "Obviously, something is going on in that big head of yours. If something is going on, if this has to do with what's up with you and the others, then that's okay, we can talk about it. I'm here for you, man. But if you're apologizing for crying all over me, then I'm gonna affectionately kick your ass. I'd rather you cry here with me than you do it alone or keep it bottled in. That's not healthy. If your brain is telling you that you're a burden to me or something stupid like that, I'll kick your brain's ass too. It can't be mean to you, that's my job."

Roman startles into laughter. It's a sad wheeze more than anything, but Virgil picks up on that. He gives a hesitant, hopeful smile as he brushes his thumbs over Roman's cheekbones.

"There's my Princey. Just keep laughing. I'm a real funny dude."

More wheezy chuckles. More reasons to adore his friend.

"I'm gonna give Patton a run for his money. I've got jokes for days. Wanna hear about belts made out of watches? It'll be a real waist of time."

Roman giggles and leans into Virgil's hands. He closes his eyes.

"And I'll keep going if you want me to. I can do this all day, Princey."

"I'm telling Patton you gave me emotional pun support," Roman murmurs.

Roman can tell by Virgil's voice that he's grinning. "Do it. I'm not afraid."

He opens his eyes again. Virgil moves one of his hands to tuck under his own chin so he can look at Roman more comfortably. The other hand combs through Roman's bangs, straightening them.

"You called me sweetheart," Roman points out in an awed tone.

Virgil doesn't bristle like he expects. If anything, he hunkers down further in his stubbornness. "Yeah? So what?"

"You don't...usually do pet names."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

"Is it weird if I said I liked it?"

Virgil lightly flicks his forehead. "It's only weird if you make it weird, sweetheart."

Roman sniffles and wipes at his face to rid himself of any lingering wetness. Virgil allows him time to breathe and get his bearings.

"It's the weight," Roman finally admits. "The warmth and the pressure. I mean, why I asked you to lay on me. I had a weighted blanket, but it got ruined. So Patton and Logan have been helping out where they can. It's easier when they're touching."

Virgil doesn't stop petting at his hair, but he does frown while he parses through his words. "What do you feel like without it?"

"Without the touching and my blanket? Umm, exposed I guess? Anxious. Cold."

"When you don't have your blanket or someone touching you, do you think about it a lot?"

"What do you mean?"

Virgil shrugs, and Roman feels the movement and together with the hair petting, it's enough to have his eyelids flutter and threaten to close. "I mean, when you haven't had that in a while, does it consume your thoughts? Like you're longing for it?"

Roman remembers the night he stood outside Patton's door in the hallway.

All the time. He longs for it all the time these days.

"Yeah," Roman whispers.

"Dude, I think you're touch-starved."

That throws Roman for a loop. "But... I touch people enough? It's not like I'm going years without a hug over here."

Virgil boops him on the nose. "It's doesn't take years. Could just take weeks. Depends on the person I guess. Everyone needs things differently. I think you liked your blanket so much because you were using it to substitute touch. And now that you're starting to get touch more often, your body is trying to adjust. It's like going from eating bread crusts to a full course meal."

"But I..." Roman's mind drifts. Virgil's words resonate as he compares them to his memories.

Yearning, heartache, misery, clinginess, pressure, satisfaction, grief. Is this what's been wrong with him?

"I'm touch-starved?" Roman asks.

Virgil gives him a sympathetic smile. He pats at his head. "I think so. It's not so bad. We can help you."

"You will?"

Virgil snorts and adjusts his position so he's laying more comfortably on Roman, like he's bedding down for the long-haul. "I'm not moving from this spot until dinner at the earliest."

Virgil makes good on his promise. Their roommates come home to find them there, napping the afternoon away. When they wake to the smell of cooking meat, they drag themselves up from the couch and shake the blood back into their limbs. The four of them sit at the table that night to eat and talk.

Roman opens up.

And when he eventually has the money to spare, he doesn't buy a new blanket.

He doesn't need one anymore. He has them.

[aoitakumi8148]

[Left behind] 𝟘 of 𝟙.

...𝓗𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓗𝓲𝓶, 𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓸 𝓗𝓲𝓶 𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮...

The world you showed me made me happy... It's slowly turning redder and redder ~ Where does love begin?

[petitsdieu]

𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖?

⸺ 𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒕

you were doomed from the start. you were robbed of a chance to become anything. controlled by everyone in your life, even the ones that genuinely cared, and the one good thing you had led to your destruction because the hands of fate deemed it so. your trust in others is admirable. your optimism is enviable. your hope burns. if only you were living a different life.

tagged: nicked from @horroreverent's reblog. tagging: @ you

[deathfavor]

@umbralui said: ❝ we belong to each other. ❞ ( and of course Mania Father for Cosmic Horror Wife, in a sense of nothing in this world can tear them apart even if it tried. the universe (him but shhh) has willed it. regardless of what takes place, they will always belong together. he will tear down the entire world if it only assured him his place right next to Dreya and hers next to him, where she belongs )

Upon utterance of such words, the perishing star turns to look to the known speaker that stays by her side. Belong. It is such as simple word and yet so deeply complex at the same time. Belonging is not a necessity; their times in existence without each other have proven such. They function perfectly fine on their own. Just because something belongs, its lack of presence does not necessarily mean damage to the mechanism or order. It is not necessity, yet it is desired all the same. For anyone to claim belonging does not matter speaks the lies they feed themselves. Even if someone does not seek to belong to a group, they yearn for a place they belong, or a purpose they belong to. A desire, but not a necessity.

Dreya does not immediately feel the need to speak. They are not necessities, but they are desires all the same. Her hand reaches out to grasp his, a delicate gesture from a force so powerful, from one he's spilled blood for and upon. Belonging. Never before had Dreya felt like another living being could understand her ; that she could find her place among or with one. He had changed that in a most unexpected way. He speaks the words with such utter conviction that it leaves no room for doubts or questions. They belonged together and that was that.

" We do. " Her voice carries like solar wind in space, flitting between each particle around them. " The stars and fabric of time and space have bore witness to this truth. It is imprinted upon them like nitinol recalls the shape upon its formation. Even if the universe shifts and changes, it will still recall this truth. "

Her own voice carries no shred of doubt or uncertainty. It is a truth she speaks as easily as she would deliver scientific information upon a paper. Such is the truth of the words and her agreement upon them. There is no need for the frivolous signs of proof others demand; they are meant to be as one and that is their truth.

[martafelipe]

Suspiro dobrado

Que toda chatices do dia se transforme em doces suspiros. Continue reading Suspiro dobrado

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Words instead of sighed and frowned?

Sighed - let out a deep audible breath or made a similar sound (such as weariness or relief)

Exhaled - breathed out

Heaved - uttered with obvious effort or with a deep breath

Huffed - emitted puffs (as of breath); usually with indignation or scorn

Insufflated - blew on, into, or in (something)

Puffed - blew in short gusts; exhaled forcibly

Snorted - forced air violently through the nose with a rough harsh sound (to express scorn, anger, indignation, or surprise)

Snuffled - breathed through an obstructed nose with a sniffing sound

Suspired - drew a long deep breath; sighed

Frowned - contracted the brow in displeasure or concentration

Glared - stared angrily or fiercely

Glouted - (archaic) frowned, scowled

Glowered - looked or stared with sullen annoyance or anger

Grimaced - distorted one's face in an expression usually of pain, disgust, or disapproval

Loured - looked sullen; frowned

Moue - a twisting of the facial features in disgust or disapproval

Pouted - showed displeasure by thrusting out the lips or wearing a sullen expression

Scoffed - expressed scorn, derision, or contempt

Scowled - contracted the brow in an expression of displeasure

Sulked - silently went about in a bad mood

Hope this helps. If it inspires your writing in any way, please tag me, or send me a link. I would love to read your work!

More: Word Lists ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[metalocalipsis]

QUIÉN QUIERE CANTAR GRITANDO ESTA CANCIÓN CONMIGO

[shyamanuensis]

sex - t.r

♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ── Tom doesn’t want sex. Well, that’s a lie – he fucking does; he’s been craving it all day. He’s smitten and addicted and obsessed with every single inch of you and can’t wait to have his way, pounding into you while the headboard of your bed smacks rhythmically against your dorm walls in the middle of the night. As much as he wants this though – he wants every single other thing that comes along with it. That leads up to the temptation of you. The final prize he’s keen on winning every single time. At first, it started out as a game for you. You’d ask him to take things slow knowing that patience was never his best virtue and that he’d snap at the sound of your chuckle when he knew that request was coming. These days though – no; he craves all the little things which you’ve taught him to. Trained him to. Cause him to become accustomed to yearn for.

At first, it’s those slow, soft, barely there kisses when you first become engulfed in each-others presence that he begins to enjoy. It allows him to focus, to commit to the moment, to expel any ounce of haste impulse he may have. This is closely followed by grabbing and pulling you close. Hands pawing at your wrists, your hips, knotting effortlessly into your hair to bring you against him, onto him, one with him. There comes that whimper you let out as he purposely breaths down your neck in order to wipe your thoughts before peppered kisses along your sensitive skin turn to nips, turn to bites, turn to ownership and he uses the way your body is reacting to grind up against you – to have you melt into him. You're like ice-cream in summer and he’s starving for a taste.

Once silent - his whispers of ‘jump’, ‘up’ and ‘please’ all words once so foreign to slip off the tip of his tongue Tom now wields almost as a weapon, knowing that you’ll comply to his desires, his requests. He’s gotten use to how he sounds but you can’t seem to control yourself when you hear him begging almost like a prayer. Suspiring your heavy breathing, Tom has become more tolerant at allowing you to pause and catch your breath – the time savoured to gaze into your eyes, notice the vulnerability etched within them; how they’re tinted with trepidation, with passion. How they darken as the tinge of blush across your cheeks becomes scarlet, begins to match your skin as he delicately unwraps every layer of clothing you wear until your completely bare before him. Admiring a view that he’s seen a hundred times before but is still just as unique and exceptional as every sunset he’s ever witnessed.

Yeah, sex is the end goal, but it is no longer just about that. He wants all of this. He wants all of you. He wants to experience the tenderness you’ve so unashamedly taught him that its okay to feel. He wants permission to admire you, devour you, engulf you, savour you. He wants you; because you’re worth more to him than just the sex. ── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡

[elysiansparadise]

With the gentle caress of Neptune's blissful hand, a dreamy aura evolves. In the dawn's soft embrace, and twilight's whisper, pisces paints the sky with a suspire.

Pisces Rising: Divine Charm

They look mysterious and distant but their gaze, like the ocean, deep and profound, reflecting the emotions untold. A wise mind and soul, with a gentle and caring heart, remains protected from the dangers from outside. Many of them tended to isolate themselves, as the tensions of their early environment could be difficult to deal with. They seek calm, and would love to live in a world where they felt at peace and free to be who they truly are. They have the ability to adapt to their environments and the people they meet, making the number of people with whom they truly feel like themselves very small. Their beauty lies more in delicacy, like angels fallen to heaven, their skin is soft, their gaze slightly sleepy and many of them give an unapproachable vibe. 

From a young age they learn to achieve things on their own and we can attribute that to Aries in the 2nd house. They greatly value their independence, being able to do things their own way, because these natives highly value their independence and that clearly includes financial independence, which is why they like to make their decisions for themselves when it comes to money. Some of them may have a tendency to be somewhat impulsive with their spending, especially if Mars is making tense aspects to Jupiter or Neptune. Ambition to find stability in their lives, they fervently desire to feel powerful and not with respect to others, but with themselves and the management of their lives. They are people who have that entrepreneurial spirit, since they were young, they may have defined what they want to achieve, be it a certain status, economic position, or simply a set of things to have in the future. Some of these natives are prone to becoming demotivated quickly if they do not perceive or have tangible results, so it is necessary for them to find a way to motivate themselves. It is a kind of challenge to be more constant and persistent in your productive projects. They may possess a certain level of competitiveness and winning and/or achieving things can increase their self-esteem, especially if Mars makes tense aspects to Sun or Jupiter. It is possible that at some point in their lives they feel that to be valuable they have to achieve or have things, they may equate success with the idea of ​​"I have to create or do something.”

Talking to them is one of the most comfortable things in the world, they are responsible for not only talking to you and giving you their point of view, but also listening to you carefully, and we can see that with Taurus in the 3rd house. These natives take their time to process what is happening around them, they do not jump to conclusions, they are observant, capable of sensing when things are not as before, when there are changes around them, nothing goes unnoticed, no matter how minimal the change may be. They like clarity, that people speak with bluntness, that is, without losing tact if the situation requires it. They have a very attractive and soothing voice, and their way of speaking, the words that come out of their mouths can be a caress to the soul. They are sensible, rational and patient. They calm others with ease with their words and voice, there is something simply magnetic about them. Talent for singing and taste or interest in music. They have a great facility for creating and generating ideas, and not only that, but they also materialize them. They have aptitudes for poetry and any genre that allows them to express their feelings through letters. They may have hands-on skills, from sculpture, drawing or any form of design. They are constant people when it comes to learning something that catches their attention. They easily move the people around them, as they seek to say what they genuinely feel and think. They tend to be somewhat reserved with their thoughts at first but when they express them, they will not express them abruptly or shouting. They take their time to learn, they like to do things at their own pace and not feel pressured, as they are susceptible to stress. It is difficult to change their mind, because even if they listen to yours, it is likely that they will not stop thinking the way they do.

Since they were children, these natives questioned everything, from what surrounded them to the actions or behaviors of those who accompanied them. Pure and present curiosity for as long as they can remember, a clear representation of Gemini in the 4th house. A desire to understand others at a deep level because of the feeling of never having been understood themselves. Many of these natives experience constant changes in their home, from moving to issues of family dynamics. They may have grown up in a chaotic or changing environment; one parent may have been emotionally distant. It is likely that since they were children they have had problems, whether it be excess mental and/or physical energy, nerves or anxiety in some cases. They may have closeness and constant communication with a particular member of their families. They are very reserved people with their past and emotions, they hardly feel that they can talk about it with others. They do not enjoy small talk much, they tend to prefer deep and more meaningful conversations. These natives are fun, spontaneous and very expressive, but due to circumstances and experiences, they have learned to hide this side of them. They prioritize fluid communication with those with whom they have an emotional bond; they will always seek to make the other person comfortable to speak freely about what they feel. They may have had tense experiences in their childhood, such as dealing with people who were hypocritical or overly critical of them. They find comfort in the idea of ​​learning new things, yes, but most likely these natives have comfort series, books or movies that they return to when they don't feel well. Many of them express their discomfort, or in general any type of emotions through writing. Journaling, making poetry or simply writing can be activities that allow them to feel better and more liberated.

These natives are incredibly romantic and attentive in their relationships. They look for a relationship that allows them to be emotionally vulnerable and that is related to Cancer in the 5th house. Love with them feels like a warm blanket, which gives you warmth, protection and reaffirmation. For them there is no better sign of love than dedicating time, energy and devotion to the other person. They nourish their relationships a lot and always work on them, making necessary changes both in the dynamics of the relationship and in their love language, since they adapt to their partner's to make them feel loved. They prioritize the comfort of both themselves and their partners. Its beauty and appeal lies more on the tender, tender and soft side. They usually have attractive and sweet faces, as well as expressive eyes. Regardless of how they show themselves to the world and how they decide to face it, in their relationships they are softies, and they tend to attract people who become attached to them. They attract mysterious and reserved people with their emotions who have a huge heart. For them, a relationship equals comfort, unconditional support and a deep connection. Their partners' past matters to them as a way to understand them better. Caring and being cared for is important in the dynamics of romance for these natives to enjoy.

With Leo in the 6th house it is very likely that the native has excellent creative and/or artistic abilities. These are people who can gain a lot of recognition through their work or a skill they have worked on for a long time. In the work area they may be very loved or appreciated, they are seen as talented, capable and charismatic, however, that natural brilliance that they possess can attract envious people or people who want to steal some of their light. They are generous people par excellence, they will never hesitate to help, support or share with those they love. Having a strong work ethic, being responsible, honest and devoted are values ​​that have been instilled in them since they were young. It is likely that from childhood they were taught to work hard and value not only their own efforts but those of others. Many of these natives tend to prefer to be given compliments about their abilities, the way they do things or their results, not forgetting to mention that they can be modest or dismissive with other types of compliments, not knowing how to react to them. They like to do things that they can put their whole heart into. They need to see the importance behind a task to want to do it and will not waste their time on things that they do not perceive as genuinely useful or important to them. They have this way of doing things well or not doing them at all, they can be very demanding of themselves and of seeing tangible results. Many of these natives may experience pain in the chest and/or back if they are subjected to a lot of stress. For them it is crucial to truly love their job, because they feel that hating their job is no longer bearable for a little more money. Passion is important for them when starting a project, so if the passion runs out they will not hesitate to drop the task in question.

With Virgo in the 7th house we can observe what these natives look for in their relationships, especially those they want to maintain long term and this is reliability and mutual support. They are so used to giving a lot to others and supporting them fully no matter what, they are extremely devoted and giving to those who have the place of their heart, but it is highly disappointing when that is not given back to them. They tend to be so hard on themselves, overly self-critical of their actions in a relationship. If Mercury makes tense aspects, it is very likely that after breakups they will think that they are guilty or have a feeling of responsibility about it. They will always seek to improve their relationships, frequently asking their partners about how they feel more comfortable or how to make them feel more loved. They are looking for a reliable partner who supports and motivates them, someone who looks after their well-being and who accepts them without conditions, someone who makes them feel sufficient and happy with who they are. With this placement the natives will have a future spouse dedicated to them and the relationship, someone modest who will work hard and know how to appreciate the natives' efforts and intentions. It will be a relationship that will emerge little by little, they will get to know each other more and more and along with this, not only love but admiration will grow more and more. Both will try to resolve any issue that arises, knowing how to listen to each other and proposing solutions. Both will arrive at a point in each other's lives where they are focused on themselves whether it is improving, healing or working.

Giving and receiving equally is an internal desire that lies in Libra in the 8th house. That longing to show oneself completely to their special one and fully know the other, that fervent yearn, the need to be transparent with someone willing to be genuine with them. There is a set of internal conflicts between wanting that intense, passionate and extremely devoted connection with the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of becoming dependent on someone or that someone becomes too absorbed with them. The fear of giving everything and being betrayed. It is difficult to trust opening up and there is nothing that terrifies them more than the risk of doing so to the wrong person. Having them as a couple is an experience like no other, not only because of the passion and sensuality of these lovers, but also because of the intense and genuine devotion that they give you. They are able to love you completely, to form a connection that feels real, one in which you do not pretend to be someone you are not or one in which you do not feel like you have to be someone else. They experience great transformations during and after their relationships, they have a tendency to seek or attract deep relationships where there is a strong bond between them. They are fascinating lovers who manage to make you feel desired with a look, who through their touch transmit the whirlwind of emotions that you provoke in them. They love intensely, there is no doubt in them, all or nothing, I love you or I don't love you. They think a lot before entering a relationship, and once they are in one, they immerse themselves completely. 

These natives are constantly searching for a deep meaning to the world around them, something beyond the visible, and that need to see beyond what simple sight allows them to do is thanks to Scorpio in the 9th house. They feel a growing attraction for complex topics that mark them in some way or leave them introspective, since they spend a lot of their time in their heads, analyzing and trying to understand what seems intriguing to them. A desire to investigate topics that seem mysterious to them, inclination for spiritual topics, psychology or solving mysteries/riddles of all kinds. A lot of transformation through travel and chances of traveling to distant lands. Physical and spiritual journeys, many feelings of epiphanies throughout their lives. Fascination or fixation with a specific type of culture. A complex relationship with religion, being either very devoted to their beliefs or having experienced complex things thanks to the religious beliefs of their parents or family. Inquisitive minds, however they do not make it obvious that they know many things, they are very humble people regarding their knowledge, but they firmly trust in what they know. In them there is more knowledge than what is seen, they are very astute and although they seek to see the bigger picture, it is difficult for the details to go unnoticed, since they have the mixture of perception and strong intuition, which makes them perceive things that can be subliminal.

Natives with Sagittarius in the 10th house are curious souls by nature, people who aspire for great things and constantly dream of obtaining, achieving and being. They look for jobs that allow them to expand, intellectually, or expand their joy and emotional well-being. Many people tend to see them as genuine people who are easy to work with and people who, regardless of whether they are introverted or extroverted, will always be cordial. They can become very influential people in their work, since Jupiter, the planet of luck, rules this house, making them prone to finding success at work and easily moving or influencing people. They are likely to travel constantly and come into contact with foreign things thanks to their work. These people aspire to do good, to do the right thing and in many cases to contribute positively to the lives of others through their work. Some jobs for these people are teachers, artists, journalism, international relations, human resources, work in travel agencies, lawyers. In the eyes of the public they have charm, as they have a mixture of charisma, ambition and authenticity. Despite wanting to be recognized for their abilities, many of these natives can find it overwhelming to have a lot of attention, so they need that balance between alone time and public time.

Precisely because of their energy and sensitivity to other people's vibes, they are very selective about who they surround themselves with. Capricorn in the 11th house makes them accept their friends as they are and seek to give them a lot of support, but it is difficult for them to give that title to anyone. They prefer closed and stable circles, they take friendship seriously and can be very devoted to them. These natives have a tendency to attract friends with greater maturity or age, and they will admire the maturity and abilities of the natives. Friendships with long age differences. They may see it as a strong support for a friend/certain group of friends, finding a sense of family more in them than in their biological families. They can have great economic gains thanks to their career, from having high or important positions, or even a lot of prestige in their work. They aspire for big things and it is not enough for them to just dream, they like to make them come true and work hard to achieve them. Contrary to what one would believe with this placement, they are very ambitious and hardworking dreamers, as they will always be thinking about how to materialize everything that they have always longed to have. They believe in the power of hard work and many of them are not naive or excessively overzealous as they are projected.

The noise out there has become overwhelming, the looks of some have become heavy, all those times you felt judged, underestimated or left out for being your precious self has led you to lock yourself away, that beautiful and enormous heart and everything. That which makes you unique in a small world, where you can be safe from being viewed with disdain. People with Aquarius in the 12th house are reserved with certain sides of themselves, be it their thoughts, hobbies or in some cases feelings, on some occasions they may feel separated and different from others, the feeling of being an outsider can be common with this placement. In them lies a creative mind and an accepting soul, which seeks to know others deeply and remove from their lives everything that is superficial. They always seem very perceptive of their environment and those around them, they even generate interest in everything that allows them to know themselves and others better, as a result of a feeling of not having been understood. They have a high creative potential and can excel enormously in a hobby or one of their passions, but they may fear criticism and little acceptance from others. These people fear rejection from people, especially from those they open up to, thinking they are different. They have an open personality, they do not run away from or criticize minds other than their own, they will always try to understand and accept people. They feel that impulse in them to accept and include others because of the wound of not having been accepted themselves. In these natives lies a beautiful being, with unique ideas and emotions, who will hardly show himself completely to others, only those who inspire true confidence. Their longing and desire is to be free from these internal chains and cages that hold back those sides of their being that they feel will be judged.

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Dispose Of Me

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Summary: Javier Peña needs you... and you're moving away in two weeks. Warnings: Smut, unprotected p in v sex (be safe IRL), oral (f receiving), reader is picked up, Javi can't stop smoking, post S3 Laredo Peña, feelings. Words: 1,800

A/N: @ohheypedrito asked me to write Javier and this is what I came up with. This is my first time writing Javi, so I hope I did him justice. @undercoverpena posted this mood board a couple of weeks ago that matched the exact vibes of this piece, I even went in and added the last line because of it. Thank you to @pascalispretty for beta'ing.

Masterlist

___

His new life haunts him. 

Fix a fence, wire the new security light, drive to town to pick up more feed, crack a well deserved beer open at dinner, fall asleep in the bed that’s too small. 

Wake up and repeat. 

Funny how the simple life feels like it’s killing him. 

He lights a cigarette, the nicotine drowning his inner turmoil; a billow of smoke suspires out of his lungs, floating away into the night sky. He wishes he could follow it far away. 

He needs you. 

___

Three quick raps against the door shocks you out of your mindless channel surfing. Javi. You fight a smile before checking yourself in the mirror, lying to yourself that you didn’t buy all the new silky lingerie for him. 

You lie to yourself a lot. You haven’t fallen for him, you don’t think about him all the time, other men have made you feel this special, you’re not going to miss him once you leave.

A quick shake of your head and a wiggle of your shoulders helps steel yourself before opening the door. Your breath hitches at the beauty… Javier Peña, the handsomest man with the biggest brown eyes and tightest Wrangler jeans you’ve ever seen lunges at you and wraps his arms around your barely covered figure. 

“Usually you call, wha–” a searing kiss interrupts you, his plush mouth sets a hungry fire inside you. 

Your body leaves the ground as Javi lifts you up into his hold, your legs instinctively enveloping his hips, hands taking hold around his thick neck as he walks to your bedroom. His lips don’t leave yours as he effortlessly navigates around your moving boxes. 

“Need you baby,” he pants against your neck. “Need you so much.” 

You’re thrown on the bed, mouth agape, lungs panting for air still recovering from his kiss. Javi swiftly undresses, his orange shirt and blue jeans fly across the room and land on your reading chair.

He flicks the light on, flooding the room with sweet tangerine hues. He stands at the foot of your bed, broad body looming, pouty lips parted underneath his downturned mustache. He’s the picture perfect example of a man in charge, standing immobile with his hands on his hips; the only movement is his wide brown eyes roaming your body. He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobs in his toned neck. The tension radiating off of his body reaches out and grabs your heart, making it pitter patter even harder against your chest. 

“I need you,” he whispers, his frame casting a shadow over your quivering body as he slowly climbs on the bed.

A kiss is placed against your temple; he inhales the citrus scent of your conditioner and sighs. His mouth moves down your face before parting your lips with his, his sharp nose pressing into your cheek when he deepens the kiss. He tastes of coffee and cigarettes. You melt into the bed under his weight, his tongue swirling around your mouth drinking down your gasps and mews. A soft groan rumbles out of his throat when you suck his tongue into your mouth. 

He’s different tonight. His kisses feel more desperate, the weight of him presses harder, his eyes stare harder, his voice sounds gruffer. 

He bunches the pink silk of your tank top up before covering your breast with his large hand, kneading it in his hold. 

“Javi,” you moan, feeling his hardening cock press against your panties. 

“Do you just sit around your apartment dressed like this every night baby?”

He licks his way down your neck, sucking and nuzzling his mouth against the curve of your collar bone. 

“Most– ahh– nights,” you whimper. “Usually wear it in case you call or knock on my door.”

“Fuck,” he growls. His cock grows more rigid, pressing harder against your now aching core dripping wet and waiting for him. 

His lips perch against the skin stretched across your chest, leaving a gentle kiss right where your heart beats.

“I can feel your heartbeat against my lips, hermosa.”

He cups your breasts between his hands, encompassing his head in between your flesh, his inhalation of your scent sends goosebumps through your skin… as if he’s trying to memorize every part of you before time runs out. He pulls back, tongue peeking out to wet his lips, dark eyes under pleading eyebrows staring into everything you have- body, mind, heart and soul. 

”I need you,” he rasps.

You pet his hair, running your fingers through the soft waves. 

“I know,” you whisper from your heart.

Javi. 

He turns his head, laying a wet kiss against your nipple before sucking it into his mouth. A breath of a bite hits against your sensitive skin, your fingers tug at his hair. A throaty groan encourages you to pull harder. 

He licks a stripe across taking your other nipple in his mouth– another bite, another hair tug, another throaty groan. 

He rubs his hard cock against your core, his precum soaks against your drenched panties. 

“You’re already so wet for me, aren’t you baby?”

An ache rolls through your entire body.  

“Yes Javi.”

“Yes you are, baby. Want to taste you first.” 

He settles between your thighs, jet black hair shining against your skin. 

His tongue dips in your folds, swimming through the lush wetness you’ve spilled for him. 

A lap up, a lap down, his tongue striding all along your sensitive skin. 

You sink in the abyss of his touch.

“Mm close Javi,” you sob. 

He moans a reassuring sound. His head undulating a reassuring nod taps his nose against your clit. Your hands claim his hair, pulling him even closer into you, your hips grinding against his face riding the wave of pleasure. 

You fall off the horizon, diving into the depth of your orgasm. Javier Peña is not only a giver, but also a taker, taking everything your pussy will give him. You swell underneath him, your hands pulling his soft hair, your voice screaming his name. He drinks you down like he’s a shipwrecked man.

You float atop your coral sheets, Javi’s soft kisses to your thigh anchoring you from drifting farther. 

___

“I-I need you Javi,” you muster.

His head pops up from between your legs, beautiful mouth shining with your sweetness. He licks his lips savoring the heady taste of you before he covers your body with his, crushing you, firm muscles pressing into your skin. 

“You need me?” His cock ghosts against your entrance that’s begging for something to clench around.

”Yes Javi.”

”Okay hermosa, okay.”

All at once you’re filled with Javier Peña. His hips meet yours when he plunges himself fully into your heat.

Your lungs squeal as you wrap your legs around his lower back, giving him more access to all of you. He’s deliberate in his pace, slow thrusts adoring you with each push and pull. His lips take purchase of your mouth.  

You immerse one another in the sway of each other’s bodies. 

“Two weeks,” he grunts against your lips. “I don’t think I can live without your pussy, baby.”

Your fingers clutch his taut shoulders; you don’t know if he meant to let that information out.

“I’ll miss you so much,” you confess, getting lost in his divulgence.

“Shhh, don’t talk like that,” his lips mold the words on your skin. His thumb finds your clit and rubs a slow circle around it instantly replacing your sadness with a jolt of pleasure. 

You gasp at the sensation.

“Need to make you feel good,” Javi pulls away, he stares into your eyes, “in your body and heart baby.” 

“Jaaaaaviiii,” your exhale is replaced by his name. 

He drives harder into you, your legs tighten around him, your hands grip his skin harder. 

Your bed rattles against the wall, the metal headboard clangs against the plaster. 

THUMP

“I”

THUMP

“need”

THUMP

“you.”

Your knuckles turn white against his skin as he pounds into your pussy. His eyes don’t leave yours, you’re drowning in the pools of his dark brown eyes as you orgasm, squeezing his cock and pulling him down with you, flooding him with your release.

He bites your name as he pulls out, your legs thudding against the bed as he draws his orgasm out. His focus doesn’t leave your face as thick white ropes fall on your stomach. 

Your body rocks against the soft waves of the bed, lulled to a higher place of being from Javi’s care.

He flops down next to you panting for air with his forearm resting over his forehead. 

You turn and cuddle into his side, resting your head on his broad chest.

“I need you,” Javi whispers so low you swear he’s only saying it to himself. 

Your world shifts, he tells you everything in those three words he keeps repeating. Time is frozen as you both stay silent.

___

You reach for Javi in the darkness and find your bed empty. A deep timbred sigh behind you catches your attention. You roll over blinking your bleary eyes open, gulping at the sight ahead of you. 

He stands naked by the window, a puff of smoke dissipating in the warm summer air breezing in from the open window. The sunrise paints his body in glowing umber. 

“You know I don’t like it when you smoke in here Javi.” He stamps the cigarette out and walks over to the bed. His body gleams from the yellow street light buzzing outside your window. He sits on the edge of your bed and lifts your legs into his lap. 

“You know I don’t like it when you move a thousand miles away and don’t ask me to follow you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me to do anything if I want to do it.”

“But, your dad?”

“He tells me I can leave at any time,” his hand strokes your leg, “I just haven’t had a reason to… until you.”

“Javi, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just pick up and move away. What are you going to do there?”

“I already called the office, there’s a job waiting for me there. I just have to tell them I want it. Baby, I need you.”

___

“Good morning, I’m Javier Peña, the new head agent here. Shall we get started?”

Javi sticks his hand in his suit jacket pocket, discovering a piece of paper.

He smiles when he sees your note: Good luck on your first day! See you at home. Xxx

He reminds himself to buy you a bouquet of flowers before heading home. 

[hsballerina]

dissoluto

algo que vai contra normas de moralidade, frequentemente utilizado para descrever comportamentos proibidos ou imorais.

Harry aceita a insistência de Rose, a sua namorada, para conhecer o pai dela. Louis um homem poderoso.

hbottom - ltops - traditional - enemies - betrayal - dirty talk - possessive - breeding kink - overstimulation - anal sex - coming untouched - exhibitionism - love bit & cock warming.

— Vamos, amor, eu prometo que meu pai é tranquilo! — Rose insistiu pela milésima vez naquele mês, segurando firme a mão de Harry enquanto caminhavam lado a lado. Ela balançava suavemente os dedos dele, tentando tirar o nervosismo do ar.

Harry, por outro lado, não conseguia parar de pensar no que estava prestes a acontecer. A ideia de conhecer o famoso Louis Tomlinson, pai de sua namorada, o deixava terrivelmente inquieto.

Ele parou de andar de repente, puxando Rose suavemente para que ela o acompanhasse.

— Rose, sério... Eu não sei se isso é uma boa ideia. — Ele mordeu o lábio rosado cheinho, balançando a cabeça. — E se ele não gostar de mim?

Rose soltou um profundo suspiro, afastou o gloss dos seus lábios e se virou para ele e segurou firmemente seus ombros.

— Amor, você tá se preocupando à toa. Meu pai não é esse monstro que você imagina. Ele pode ser... — Ela hesitou por um segundo, buscando as palavras certas, enquanto retocava mais do seu gloss — ...intenso, mas no fundo ele é só um cara que quer o melhor pra mim. E olha, você é o melhor pra mim, então ele vai te amar, igual eu.

Harry desviou o olhar, sentindo o peso daquelas palavras. Ele queria acreditar nisso, queria mesmo, mas não conseguia afastar as imagens que sua cabeça criava de Louis o encarando com olhos críticos, julgando cada movimento, cada palavra. Tomlinson não era apenas o "pai dela". Ele era o tipo de homem que sabia tudo sobre todos, que controlava o ambiente com uma simples presença e cujas decisões podiam mudar destinos em minutos.

— É só que... — Harry começou, passando a mão nervosamente pelo cabelo, o vento bagunçando ainda mais seus cachos. — Ele é o Louis Tomlinson, Rose! Não é qualquer pai. O cara é foda... e eu sou só eu.

Rose inclinou a cabeça, levantando uma sobrancelha e apertando os lábios em desaprovação.

— Só você? Harry, você é incrível! — Ela deu um passo à frente, segurando o rosto dele com as duas mãos, fazendo olhar diretamente para ela, os olhos azuis tão intensos. — Ele vai enxergar isso também, e se não enxergar, o problema é dele.

Harry sorriu de lado, apreciando a tentativa dela de aliviar seu nervosismo. Ele já havia visto Louis na TV marcando a presença em eventos importantes, sempre com aquele ar de autoconfiança que fazia qualquer um se sentir um pouco menor. E agora ele, Harry Styles, teria que estar frente a frente com ele, como o namorado da filha dele. A pressão gigantesca.

— Ok... — Harry suspirou, ainda hesitante. — Mas e se ele... não for com a minha cara? E se ele fizer aquelas perguntas difíceis, sabe? Tipo, "quais são seus planos pra minha filha?" ou "como pretende sustentá-la?" — Ele revirou os olhos, já imaginando o interrogatório.

Rose riu alto dessa vez, passando os braços ao redor do pescoço de Harry.

— Nossa, Harry, você acha que ele vai ser tão clichê assim? — Ela deu um leve beijo no pescoço dele, tentando acalmá-lo. — Confia em mim, ele não é esse tipo de pai. Ele vai te fazer umas perguntas, claro, mas nada que você não consiga responder. E eu estarei do seu lado o tempo todo.

Harry não conseguiu deixar de sorrir, mesmo que fosse um sorriso nervoso. Ele sabia que, no fundo, não tinha como escapar dessa situação. Rose já estava mais do que decidida e, para ser justo, ele queria causar uma boa impressão.

— Tá bom, tá bom... — Harry finalmente cedeu, soltando um suspiro. — Eu vou. Mas, se ele começar a me olhar torto, eu saio correndo, combinado?

Rose riu antes de apertar Harry em um abraço.

— Você não vai a lugar nenhum, Styles. — Ela se afastou apenas o suficiente para encarar os olhos dele, com um brilho brincalhão nos seus. — Vai dar tudo certo. Não fica nervoso — Rose sussurrou, apertando a mão dele antes de guiar ele para dentro.

O momento da verdade chegou mais rápido do que ele gostaria. Parado na frente da porta da casa de Rose, sentia as mãos suadas e o coração disparado. A casa era grande, com uma fachada que impunha respeito.

— Vamos lá — disse Rose, entrelaçando seus dedos com os dele e dando um aperto suave. — É só o meu pai, não o chefe de uma máfia.

Harry riu, a ideia de Louis ser um chefe de máfia não parecia tão absurda em sua mente, porém ele chegava perto. Para ele, Louis era uma figura de autoridade, alguém admirado, respeitado... e, talvez, um pouco temido. Ele era um magnata. Um homem poderoso, com uma fortuna construída em várias indústrias — da música, passando pelo entretenimento, até investimentos financeiros. Tudo sobre Louis exalava poder e controle, e Harry sabia que se errasse, o custo seria alto.

Ambos pararam diante da enorme porta de madeira maciça que mais parecia a entrada de um castelo.

Harry não se sentia "normal". A ideia de Louis "querendo proteger" Rose o fazia suar, ela tocou a campainha, mas antes que o som ecoasse, a porta se abriu suavemente, revelando o interior luxuoso da mansão. Tudo brilhava de maneira quase irreal: os mármore impecáveis, os tapetes que pareciam caros demais para serem pisados, as esculturas e as obras de arte que Harry nunca conseguiria pagar, nem em cem anos.

E ali, bem no meio de todo aquele luxo, estava ele.

Louis Tomlinson surgiu na entrada da sala de estar e Harry o viu, ele vestia um terno preto impecavelmente ajustado, que delineava perfeitamente os contornos de suas coxas e antebraços fortes. No pulso, exibia nada mais que um Patek Philippe um dos relógios mais exclusivos e caros do mundo fazendo Harry engolir em seco.

Os olhos azuis do seu sogro pousaram nele, o avaliando com uma intensidade quase desarmante, como se estivesse enxergando além da superfície. O peso daquele olhar fez o estômago de Harry afundar.

— Pai? — Rose chamou, a voz carregando uma hesitação rara, algo que Harry nunca tinha ouvido antes. Naquele instante, até ela parecia menor diante da presença de Louis.

Louis não respondeu de imediato. Eld permitiu que o silêncio dominasse o momento. Seu olhar analítico passava por Harry de cima a baixo, como se cada detalhe fosse um dado a ser decifrado.

— Então, você é o famoso Harry Styles — Louis disse com a sua voz baixa. Ele deu alguns passos lentos mantendo as mãos nos bolsos do terno, enquanto seus olhos não desviavam dos de Harry. — Confesso que estava curioso para conhecer você.

Harry sentiu seu coração martelar no peito, junto com a sua boca seca, então reunindo alguma coragem que tinha, ele estendeu a sua mão para cumprimentar Louis que não se apressou ao apertar a sua mão. Ele deixou Harry segurar a mão no ar por alguns segundos, deixando a tensão crescer antes de apertar.

— Espero que esteja ciente da posição em que se encontra, Harry. — Louis falou de forma lenta, seu tom era de falsa animação. — Minha filha é... preciosa para mim. E eu não sou o tipo de homem que tolera erros, muito menos quando envolvem as pessoas que são importantes para mim. Você entende?

A temperatura da sala pareceu cair. Harry tentou engolir o nervosismo, mas o nó em sua garganta não cedia. Tudo no jeito como Louis o olhava, como falava, fazia Harry sentir que estava sendo testado.

— Sim, senhor! — Harry respondeu trocando o peso dos próprios pés como se não aguentasse o próprio corpo.

Rose, percebendo a tensão, tentou intervir.

— Pai, não assuste ele logo de cara! — Ela riu nervosa, puxando Harry um pouco mais para perto de si. — Ele é ótimo. Você vai ver só. Apenas lhe dê uma chance.

Louis deu um passo para trás, mas seu olhar permanecia fixo em Harry.

— Claro, sweetheart... — Louis sorriu de maneira calma.

Mas logo se voltou pro seu genro o observou com uma atenção, se permitindo ver aquele garoto. Louis sabia da sua beleza e do que causava nas pessoas ao seu redor, porém aquela pessoa parada em sua sala usando roupas sem qualquer valor era algo a se apreciar, e Louis não tinha noção totalmente se Harry sabia da beleza que carregava.

Harry piscou, tentando unir os seus pensamentos em um só enquanto sentia o calor nas bochechas denunciar sua timidez.

— Tenho certeza que ele é... impressionante — Louis murmurou. — Agora, suba. Preciso conversar com o seu... namorado — Sua voz soou como uma ordem e Rose a seguiu sem antes de dar um selinho no namorado antes de desaparecer nas escadas. Louis contraiu o maxilar afiado ao ver a cena.

Louis se virou lentamente, caminhando até uma poltrona de couro posicionada estrategicamente perto de uma janela alta, que lhe oferecia uma vista panorâmica dos jardins perfeitamente cuidados da mansão. Ele se sentou e indicou para que Harry também o fizesse.

— Sente-se Harry. Vamos conversar. — Disse Louis com a falsa modéstia. — Então — Louis começou, cruzando as pernas e observando Harry com o olhar perigoso —, me conte... o que você pensa sobre o futuro? Sobre o futuro de vocês dois? — Sua voz, apesar de calma, carregava um peso que fazia a pergunta parecer muito mais profunda do que uma simples curiosidade paternal.

Era uma sondagem.

Harry respirou fundo, sentindo os olhos de Louis cravados em si, os azuis eram como um falcão que observava e media a sua presa sem pressa.

O couro da poltrona rangia levemente quando ele ajustou sua postura, se endireitando, tentando demonstrar mais confiança do que realmente possuía.

— Eu… eu amo a sua filha. — Harry começou. — E eu quero estar com ela, construir algo juntos.

Louis percorreu os olhos por cada centímetro do rosto de Harry, seus movimentos tão sutilmentes afiados, . O maxilar definido de Harry era o primeiro ponto de observação, tenso sob a pressão do momento, o músculo se contraindo levemente enquanto ele tentava manter a calma. Em seguida, o olhar de Louis deslizou pelo nariz reto, pela curva das sobrancelhas, que pareciam endurecer em um vinco de concentração.

E então, seus olhos pararam nos lábios de Harry.

Fodidamente obscenos, ele pensou, embora o rosto de Louis continuasse inexpressivo. Eram lábios que falavam de desejo, de promessas não ditas, algo que incomodava profundamente Louis. Não era apenas a relação entre Harry e Rose que estava em jogo; era a maneira como esse garoto desafiava suas noções de controle. Algo no modo como Harry existia, tão jovem, tão confiante em certos aspectos e ainda assim vulnerável naquele momento, provocava um misto de desprezo e uma estranha admiração.

Como ele ousa? — a pergunta ecoava na mente de Louis, mas ele não a vocalizaria.

— Amar minha filha, construir algo juntos… — repetiu, a enfâse em "minha filha". Ele olhou para o seu copo de uísque em sua mão, girando o líquido âmbar antes de continuar. — É uma resposta fácil, Harry. Todos que se aproximam de Rose dizem o mesmo. Bonito, previsível, mas... fácil. Inclusive, está servido? — Louis ergueu o seu copo e Harry querendo causar uma boa impressão afirmou.

— Sim, obrigado.

Louis se levantou colocando o seu copo na mesa ao seu lado e serviu Harry.

— Obrigado — disse Harry, quando Louis voltou a se sentar no lugar de antes, a expressão dele ainda indecifrável.

— Como eu ia dizendo... O que você realmente tem a oferecer a ela? Dedicação? Um bom sentimento? Isso é o suficiente? — Louis disse novamente com a voz baixa. — Porque na minha experiência, sentimentos são frágeis, fáceis de manipular, e ainda mais fáceis de quebrar.

A respiração de Harry ficou mais pesada, e ele tentou manter o olhar fixo no de Louis enquanto segurava o seu próprio copo com as duas mãos.

— O que você realmente acha que pode oferecer a ela?

A pergunta reverberava como um desafio direto, uma provocação que exigia mais do que respostas emocionais. Louis não estava interessado em ouvir sobre amor ou lealdade; ele queria saber de poder, de segurança, de como Harry poderia se encaixar naquele mundo luxuoso e implacável que Louis criara para Rose.

— Eu não posso te prometer o mundo dos negócios, senhor Tomlinson. — Harry respondeu com a voz um pouco mais firme agora, lutando contra a pressão crescente.

Louis quase riu pela insolência se não fosse pelo olhar desafiador de Harry que colocou o seu copo intocável na mesa ao lado.

— Mas o que eu e Rose temos é real. Não se trata de controle, nem de status. Eu sei que isso pode não parecer suficiente pra você, mas… — ele hesitou, sentindo o olhar predador de Louis se intensificar, o pau de Louis contraiu na calça diante da ousadia de Harry. — eu vou estar lá para ela, em qualquer circunstância. Eu vou cuidar dela, proteger, e lhe dar tudo o que eu puder.

Louis se recostou na poltrona, o copo de uísque equilibrado em uma de suas mãos, e o silêncio que se seguiu foi sufocante.

O ambiente ao redor deles parecia diminuir, apesar do tamanho impressionante da sala.

— "Real". — Louis murmurou, como se estivesse testando a palavra, saboreando lentamente assim como o gosto do uísque em sua língua. — Vamos ver quão real isso pode ser quando as coisas ficarem difíceis, Harry. Porque, acredite, elas ficarão.

O som de passos leves ecoou pelas escadas, interrompendo a tensão sufocante assim que Louis deixou o seu copo na mesinha ao seu lado e se levantou arrumando o seu terno.

— Está tudo bem? — ela perguntou, tentando aliviar o ambiente, mas o silêncio entre os dois homens era impossível de ignorar.

— Claro, querida — respondeu Louis, com o mesmo tom suave e controlado, um sorriso breve surgindo em seus lábios. — Estávamos apenas tendo uma... conversa de homens.

Ele se levantou com tranquilidade, passando a mão de forma carinhosa no ombro da filha antes de se virar para sair da sala, seus passos calmos ecoando pelo ambiente.

Rose abraçou Harry e a beijou nos cabelos, o encontro com o sogro tinha sido ainda mais estranho do que ele imaginara, embora não o tivesse realmente surpreendido. Harry desviou o olhar para o copo que ainda permanecia na mesa ao lado da poltrona onde Louis estivera minutos atrás, como se aquele objeto guardasse parte da tensão que havia pairado no ar.

Os dias seguintes se passaram de forma relativamente tranquila, mas Harry não conseguia ignorar a forma como Louis o tratava. Era como se ele simplesmente não existisse para Louis.

A indiferença de Louis parecia calculada, quase uma tática para manter Harry constantemente em alerta. Isso apenas aumentava o desconforto de Harry, que se sentia nervoso toda vez que se encontrava com o pai de sua namorada.

Havia momentos, ao chegar para estar com Rose, em que Harry precisava atravessar o hall da casa. E ali, frequentemente, se deparava com cenas que o faziam questionar se entendia realmente o que estava acontecendo ao seu redor.

Em uma dessas visitas, algo inusitado chamou mais a sua atenção. Ao ser liberado para entrar, como sempre por Louis. Era sempre por ele, Harry ouviu barulhos peculiares, um som molhado e ritmado, que atiçou a sua curiosidade.

Ele seguiu o som até a sala e, ao alcançar a entrada, se deparou com uma cena que o deixou paralisado. Louis estava sentado em sua poltrona habitual, com seu terno impecável, mas diferente das outras vezes, havia uma mulher ajoelhada, nua à sua frente. Ela estava com a boca ocupada, chupando o pau de Louis enquanto ele estava totalmente vestido só com o seu pau para fora.

Louis não demorou a perceber a presença dele.

Seus olhos azuis subiram lentamente até encontrarem os de Harry, e naquele instante, Louis se transformou.

Ele parecia um predador.

Não havia nenhum traço de surpresa ou desconforto em seu rosto. Apenas uma calma controlada, como se ele estivesse esperando por aquilo.

Um segundo se passou, apenas um segundo. Então, como se estivesse deliberadamente preparando o momento, Louis moveu a mão, lentamente raspando os dedos pelo cabelo castanho e ondulado da mulher, com uma intimidade casual, quase carinhosa. Mas a carícia logo se transformou em algo mais agressivo.

Ele pegou um punhado do cabelo dela com firmeza, ainda mantendo o olhar fixo em Harry. Com um movimento, Louis começou a foder a boca da mulher, empurrando com força.

A sala parecia encolher ao redor de Harry. Ele estava estático, preso entre a vontade de fugir e o medo de mostrar fraqueza. O som da respiração pesada de Louis e o movimento molhado, frenético do pau dele dentro e fora da garganta da mulher ajoelhada eram sufocantes.

E o mais assustador, aquilo era... excitante!?

Harry observava como a mulher o levava sem nunca se engasgar e por um minuto imaginou qual seria a sensação de estar naquele lu...

O cacheado se virou rapidamente para sair com a sensação de sua ereção pressionada contra as calças o que só o fazia se sentir ainda mais estranho. Ele ainda podia sentir os olhos de Louis cravados em suas costas, como se fossem uma chama intensa, queimando através de sua pele. A pressão daquela presença parecia esmagadora, e ele não conseguia se livrar dela enquanto se afastava.

Harry correu para o quarto de Rose, seu coração disparado, a mente atordoada tentando processar o que acabara de presenciar. O que ele havia visto não parecia real.

Quando Rose voltou do banheiro, encontrou Harry na sua cama, deitado de bruços. Ela se aproximou dele com um sorriso.

— Está tudo bem? — ela perguntou, tocando seu braço.

Harry tentou sorrir, mas a pressão do que havia visto ainda o afetava. A sensação da ereção, desconfortável e impossível de ignorar, apertava contra seus jeans, intensificando ainda mais a angústia que ele sentia.

— Sim, está tudo bem. — Ele mentiu, sabendo que a verdade era muito mais complicada.

Harry estava mais determinado do que nunca a não deixar que aquele homem os destruísse. A obsessão que o corroía agora era substituída por um foco incansável: proteger o que lhe era importante. No entanto, sua rotina foi abruptamente alterada semanas depois, quando descobriu que Louis havia viajado sem aviso. Era um golpe inesperado, mas ele tentou não se deixar abalar.

Não havia porque.

Enquanto os dias passavam, Harry encontrou uma forma estranha de lidar com a ausência.

E foi em uma noite particularmente quente quando ele desceu para a cozinha em busca de água mas em uma atitude de enfiar a mão em um dos bolsos de sua calça, ele encontrou algo inesperado: um cigarro. Não era um cigarro comum, mas aquele que Rose, com seu charme manipulador, ou ao ter os olhos tão semelhantes aos de Louis, havia lhe dado algumas semanas atrás. Rose costumava brincar que a maconha "abria os sentidos", a deixando mais solta e excitada.

Harry hesitou, encarando o pequeno cilindro com uma mistura de curiosidade e desdém. Ele já havia experimentado antes, anos atrás em uma roda de amigos, e não gostara. Mas naquela noite, talvez pela inquietação, ele decidiu acendê-lo. Não seria algo extraordinário. Com a primeira tragada, o gosto amargo preencheu sua boca, e ele sentiu o efeito quase imediato: a mente pareceu ficar leve, quase flutuante, enquanto seu corpo relaxava no ambiente apenas iluminado pela luz escassa que entrava pelas janelas panorâmicas de vidro da cozinha.

Perdido em seus pensamentos, Harry não percebeu o som distante de um motor de helicóptero se aproximando. Muito menos o barulho das hélices diminuindo até o silêncio total, indicando o pouso. O que de fato o trouxe de volta à realidade foram passos firmes ecoando na sala ao lado.

A porta da cozinha se abriu, revelando Louis. Ele parecia um homem saído de um filme de ação: poderoso, impecável, com um ar de autoridade que fazia o ambiente ao seu redor mudar instantaneamente. Usava uma roupa esportiva sofisticada, com o corte impecável que só marcas de luxo podiam oferecer. O brilho do seu Rolex em seu pulso reluzia sob a luz fraca, e seus olhos se fixaram em Harry. As íris azuis brilhando de forma perigosa enquanto enfiava as mãos em seus bolso da calça de tecido mole preta.

— Então é isso que você faz quando eu não estou? — Louis perguntou, a voz grave e controlada soando no ambiente. Ele entrou na cozinha, deixando um rastro de poder que fez Harry se endireitar e travar a postura de forma automática, tremendo por dentro.

Merda. Ele estava de volta.

— Não é o que parece... — Harry tentou justificar, mas a hesitação em sua voz entregou sua insegurança. A fumaça densa no ar parecia intensificar o peso da situação, tornando tudo ainda mais carregado.

Louis avançou, seus passos lentos e firmes soando como um aviso. Sem dizer uma palavra, tomou o cigarro das mãos de Harry com uma facilidade desconcertante, como se fosse algo simples. Ele girou o cigarro entre os dedos, o observando queimar com uma mistura de desaprovação e calma imperturbável. Então, Louis levou o cigarro até os lábios, deu uma tragada profunda, e Harry não deveria sentir nada com aquilo.

Mas ele sentiu.

A sensação de sua cabeça girando, de um formigamento incômodo, o deixou sem ar, sem saber como reagir. Louis o encarava com uma calma silenciosa enquanto tragava, até o momento exato em que apagou o cigarro contra a bancada de mármore com precisão quase cruel.

— Eu desapareço por algumas semanas, e é isso que eu encontro? — A voz de Louis era baixa, mas carregava uma intensidade que fez Harry tremer. A sua postura rígida, a maneira como seus olhos azuis perfuravam Harry, e a energia dominadora que preenchia o cômodo inteiro.

Harry não encontrou palavras. Louis sempre fora sério, mas havia algo na forma como ele estava agora, como se o espaço ao redor dele se curvasse à sua vontade, que fazia qualquer desculpa parecer ridícula. Ele não aceitaria justificativas. Louis nunca aceitava palavras — apenas resultados.

E Harry sabia disso.

— Você está brincando com fogo, Harry. — Louis finalmente falou, a calma em sua voz tão afiada quanto uma lâmina afiada o bastante. — E desta vez, literalmente.

Era inútil tentar argumentar. Louis tinha o controle, como sempre, e a presença esmagadora dele tornava isso inquestionável.

— Isso não vai acontecer novamente — Harry conseguiu murmurar, os olhos ainda fixos no chão, sua mente um conflito entre a vergonha e um desejo inesperado. Ele tentou evitar olhar de seu sogro mas não conseguiu ignorar o volume visível na calça de Louis, um detalhe que o deixava desconcertado

O ar no ambiente estava palpavelmente diferente, e Harry percebeu, sem querer, que estava mordendo os lábios — uma reação instintiva que não passou despercebida por Louis.

Louis ergueu uma sobrancelha, notando a fixação de Harry. Depois de um longo momento, Louis sorriu. Não era um sorriso caloroso, mas sim um que sugeria controle absoluto, uma promessa silenciosa de domínio.

Com um movimento lento e deliberado, Louis retirou a sua outra mão do bolso da calça e a estendeu, segurando o queixo de Harry com firmeza. Ele forçou o jovem a erguer o olhar, seus olhos encontrando os de Harry com uma intensidade que fez o coração dele acelerar.

— Não mesmo — repetiu Louis, sua voz baixa mas carregada de autoridade. — Porque da próxima vez, eu vou estar aqui. E vou garantir que isso não volte a se repetir de novo.

Harry tentou desviar o olhar, mas Louis o segurava com força, seus dedos pressionando o queixo dele com força o suficiente para marcar. O cacheado sabia que estava à mercê do outro, mas o calor que crescia dentro de si o confundia. Havia algo na maneira como Louis o controlava que despertava não apenas medo, mas algo mais profundo, mais visceral.

Louis inclinou a cabeça, seu olhar firme, mas os olhos desceram brevemente para os lábios de Harry, apertados pelos dentes. Com um movimento calculado, ele usou o polegar para puxá-los, forçando Harry a soltá-los. Quando o fez, Louis notou o brilho da saliva nos lábios do garoto, lhes dando uma aparência quase tentadora, como uma fruta proibida do Jardim do Éden. Com um gesto brusco, ele soltou o queixo de Harry, apertando o maxilar dele antes de se afastar. No entanto, antes que pudesse dar um passo completo para longe, algo mudou na atmosfera entre os dois. Uma tensão elétrica e palpável parecia vibrar no ar, densa e carregada.

— Porra! — Louis resmungou.

Harry mal teve tempo de respirar antes que Louis segurasse seu rosto novamente, dessa vez com mais firmeza, e pressionasse seus lábios contra os dele em um beijo que não era nada e passava longe de ser gentil. Foi agressivo, bruto, punitivo, exigente. Os lábios de Louis esmagaram os de Harry, sua língua invadindo a boca do outro com um propósito claro: dominar. Harry ofegou contra o beijo, o corpo inteiro rígido, mas ele não se afastou. Não conseguia. Cada fibra de seu ser parecia implorar por aquilo, mesmo que ele não quisesse admitir.

As mãos de Harry subiram para os ombros de Louis, talvez em uma tentativa de afastá-lo, mas ao invés disso, ele se segurou ali, perdido no momento. Louis aprofundou o beijo, uma mistura de raiva e posse, o segurando no lugar com uma firmeza que o fez se render completamente.

Os lábios de Harry eram macios, diabolicamente macios, uma sensação que se gravou na mente de Louis como uma melodia viciante, daquelas que tocam repetidamente, sem esforço, no fundo do consciente.

E os sons... os gemidos roucos e abafados que escapavam da boca de Harry. Que ecoaram na cabeça de Louis como uma trilha sonora proibida, algo que ele sabia que jamais esqueceria, como se pudesse acessar aquele momento a qualquer instante, um registro eterno gravado em sua memória.

Era como injetar adrenalina diretamente nas veias, uma onda de energia crua e insana que dominava todos os sentidos de Louis. Era perigoso, intoxicante, como se o toque fosse tanto a destruição quanto a salvação.

Quando Louis finalmente se afastou, os lábios de Harry estavam rubros e levemente inchados, o peito subindo e descendo em busca de ar. O espaço entre eles parecia pulsar com uma eletricidade invisível, carregado com tudo o que não era dito.

— Eu... — Harry sussurrou, a voz falhando, mal reconhecível.

Ele estava desnorteado, e Louis, o observando, parecia uma visão impossível, algo saído de um sonho ou uma obra de arte antiga. Os lábios de Louis, tingidos de vermelho carmesim, e os olhos azuis escurecidos por uma intensidade quase feroz, faziam Harry perder o fio de qualquer pensamento racional.

— Você entende o que estou dizendo, não é? — Louis murmurou, os dedos firmes segurando o queixo de Harry, mantendo-o preso sob o peso de seu olhar. — Ou será que preciso ser mais... claro?

Harry engoliu em seco abriu e fechou a boca mais uma vez, se sentindo patético por não conseguir responder, seus olhos ainda fixos nos de Louis. Ele sabia que não tinha escolha a não ser obedecer. Mas, ao mesmo tempo, havia um conflito interno, um desejo reprimido que se agitava por dentro dele.

— Eu entendo, Louis — Harry disse com a sua voz quase em um sussurro.

Louis recuou mais, mas não antes de passar os olhos de cima a baixo em Harry de maneira lenta e deliberada.

— Bom garoto, querido! — Louis murmurou, o canto dos lábios se curvando levemente, e satisfeito com a resposta ele deixou um selinho forte nos lábios de Harry antes de soltar seu queixo. Louis demorou o seu olhar nos lábios dele por mais alguns segundos, os cantos da boca ainda curvados naquele sorriso perigoso, antes de finalmente se afastar.

E Harry... Harry que não deveria sentir seu pau endurecendo e se molhando mais só por aquela frase, mas foi impossível reter o impulso que ele sentiu em seu membro. A mente de Harry se encheu de imagens que ele não conseguia afastar.

Apenas Louis, impecável em seu terno bem ajustado, o cabelo meticulosamente arrumado, mas com um toque de desordem perfeita. E aquele sorriso... o sorriso velado. Louis estocando firme na boca de uma mulher ajoelhada. As mãos segurando os cabelos dela com força, a guiando sem hesitação. O olhar de Louis, porém, não estava nela.

Ele estava em Harry.

Intenso, penetrante, perto demais de gozar.

Porra.

Harry apertou as pernas com mais força, tentando conter a reação física que o consumia.

— Boa noite, Harry — ele disse com o seu tom indicando que a conversa estava por encerrada.

Harry ficou parado na cozinha, o silêncio agora ensurdecedor. Ele sabia que a noite havia mudado algo fundamental entre eles. Louis tinha estabelecido seu domínio de uma forma que não deixava dúvidas sobre quem estava no comando. E, no fundo, Harry se deu conta de que talvez fosse exatamente disso que ele precisava: alguém forte, alguém que pudesse guiá-lo e controlá-lo, mesmo que ele não quisesse admitir.

A respiração de Harry ainda estava pesada quando ele finalmente se moveu, saindo da cozinha em direção ao seu quarto. Ele sabia que a presença de Louis estava marcada em sua mente, cada palavra e gesto ressoando dentro dele.

Harry fechou os olhos, tentando afastar os pensamentos que o assombraram durante toda a noite, mas era inútil. A imagem de Louis — poderoso, implacável, e com aquele olhar que parecia despir sua alma — continuava ali, gravada como uma tatuagem em sua mente.

Na manhã seguinte, Harry desceu as escadas com passos hesitantes, o silêncio da casa pesado ao seu redor. Quando chegou à sala de jantar, ele parou na entrada, o coração disparando. Louis já estava lá, sentado à cabeceira da mesa, impecável como sempre.

Ele usava uma jaqueta branca que moldava os antebraços fortes, e sua postura era relaxada, mas dominadora. Seus olhos estavam fixos no tablet à sua frente até o momento em que Harry entrou. Foi então que ele ergueu o olhar, e o impacto de seus olhos azuis encontrou os verdes de Harry.

Harry engoliu em seco, sentindo seus lábios formigarem, como se o beijo da noite anterior ainda estivesse ali, marcado em sua pele. Ele desviou o olhar rapidamente e entrou, tentando ignorar a presença esmagadora de Louis. Mas ao invés de ocupar um lugar distante, como pretendia, ele acabou se sentando ao lado de Louis, perto demais, como se algo invisível o puxasse para aquele lugar.

Louis notou, claro.

Ele sempre notava.

Um sorriso lento curvou os cantos de sua boca enquanto ele se inclinava ligeiramente para Harry, sem disfarçar a análise cuidadosa.

— Dormiu bem? — perguntou Louis, o tom casual, mas com aquele subtexto que fazia Harry apertar os lábios em resposta.

— Dormi — Harry respondeu com a voz mais firme do que ele se sentia por dentro, tentando não transparecer o que lhe passava por dentro.

Louis sustentou o olhar por mais tempo do que era confortável, e então, com um movimento calculado, ele largou o tablet na mesa. O leve "clique" ecoou no ambiente silencioso. Um som quase insignificante. Louis cruzou os braços, os bíceps visíveis sob a jaqueta perfeitamente ajustada em seu corpo.

— Ótimo — disse ele, sem pressa. — Porque você vai me acompanhar hoje.

Harry piscou, surpreso com a declaração repentina. Ele franziu a testa, tentando entender aonde Louis queria chegar. — Acompanhar? Para onde?

— Um passeio de helicóptero — disse Louis, o tom grave e calmo, cada palavra pronunciada com cuidado, como se ele estivesse explicando algo óbvio. — Precisamos passar um tempo juntos. Foi um pedido de Rose.

— Rose? — Harry piscou novamente, tentando processar o que escutava.

Louis deu de ombros, um gesto que, embora parecesse casual, tinha uma precisão quase calculada

— Ela acha que passamos tempo demais... separados. Então, considera isso uma espécie de missão de paz entre sogro e genro — comentou, levando a xícara aos lábios e tomando um gole do café.

Seu café.

Escuro. Sem açúcar.

Antes que Harry tivesse tempo de retrucar, Louis continuou.

— E, antes que você pense em dizer qualquer coisa, querido, isso não é uma sugestão. E, considerando o quanto você tem desviado os olhos de mim desde ontem à noite, eu diria que passar um tempo juntos vai ser mais do que necessário.

Harry engoliu em seco, sentindo seu rosto esquentar, mas tentou manter a compostura. Ele estreitou os olhos para Louis, buscando algum traço de hesitação, mas tudo o que encontrou foi aquela maldita confiança, como se Louis já soubesse exatamente o que ele faria.

— Por que eu? — Harry perguntou com a voz mais baixa do que pretendia.

Louis manteve o olhar em Harry por um momento longo demais, enquanto os olhos de Harry permaneciam cravados nele.

Verde no azul.

— Porque ninguém mais pode lidar comigo como você. Agora, vamos parar com as perguntas. O helicóptero já está esperando.

Antes que Harry pudesse dizer algo mais, Louis se levantou com sua típica elegância casual, ajustando as mangas da jaqueta como se estivesse se preparando para comandar um exército. Ele olhou para Harry por cima do ombro.

— Você vem ou vai me fazer perder meu tempo, Harry?

Harry sentiu a sua respiração travae por um momento. Ele sabia que discutir era inútil, ainda mais com Louis. Então, com um suspiro, ele se levantou e o segiu para fora da casa.

Quando chegaram ao campo, o helicóptero já estava pronto, Louis caminhou com confiança quase irritante até o helicóptero, o som ensurdecedor das pás girando criando um contraste interessante com sua calma. Harry o seguiu hesitante, esperando que algum piloto surgisse para assumir o comando. Mas, ao invés disso, Louis abriu a porta do lado do piloto e subiu sem cerimônia.

— Por que você está sentado aí? — Harry gritou para ele, a voz quase engolida pelo barulho.

Louis olhou para Harry por cima do ombro, colocando os óculos aviadores com uma calma irritante. — Porque hoje eu sou o piloto, querido. Agora, entre logo antes que eu mude de ideia sobre ser tão gentil com você.

Harry hesitou, seus olhos piscando incrédulos enquanto tentava imaginar Louis pilotando qualquer coisa que não fosse a atmosfera ao seu redor. Porém, o olhar de Louis não deixava espaço para debate. Engolindo em seco, Harry subiu e se acomodou no banco ao lado dele, a mão trêmula segurando o cinto de segurança enquanto Louis mexia nos controles com a confiança de alguém que já havia feito isso milhares de vezes.

— Você tem certeza de que sabe o que está fazendo? — Harry perguntou com a sua voz tensa enquanto o helicóptero começava a se afastar do chão, o som das hélices preenchendo o ar.

Louis deixou escapar uma risada baixa e rouca, sem desviar os olhos dos instrumentos à sua frente.

Era a primeira vez que Harry ouvia Louis rir daquele jeito, e algo em seu âmago se agitou. Não era uma sensação confortável; era inquietante, como se mexesse com partes de si que ele preferia manter intocadas.

— Relaxe, querido — Louis disse apertando a sua coxa com firmeza, a mão cheia de veias se tornando algo em contato com a sua perna. — Você está mais seguro comigo do que estaria em qualquer outro lugar.

Harry apertou os olhos, o coração batendo descompassado enquanto o helicóptero subia cada vez mais alto. Lá fora, o mundo parecia se expandir, revelando um horizonte vasto e impressionante. O verde vibrante das árvores e da grama se misturava ao azul límpido do céu em uma manhã impecável, sem nuvens. As paisagens abaixo, que ele raramente tinha a chance de ver daquela altura.

Por um momento, Harry esqueceu a tensão, os olhos fixos na vista deslumbrante. Mas, aos poucos, sua atenção foi desviada de maneira que ele foi incapaz de evitar. Ele começou a observar Louis. O rosto concentrado, o maxilar bem definido contra a luz que entrava pela janela, as mãos firmes nos controles. Ocasionalmente, ele ajustava algum botão, seus movimentos precisos, quase hipnotizantes.

Sem perceber, os olhos de Harry desceram para o colo de Louis. Ele ficou, olhando, encarando por tempo demais, os lábios se entreabrindo enquanto um pensamento passava por sua mente. O cacheado só notou que estava mordendo os próprios lábios quando Louis falou, sem sequer desviar o olhar dos controles:

— Quer algo, Harry? Ou só vai continuar me despindo com os olhos? — Louis perguntou.

Harry sentiu o rosto arder imediatamente e desviou os olhos, cruzando os braços enquanto focava na vista novamente.

— Não sei do que está falando — disse, a voz firme apenas na superfície. Por dentro, um caos.

Louis inclinou a cabeça, os olhos azuis brilhando com diversão por cima dos seus óculos, como se o nervosismo de Harry fosse um espetáculo exclusivo para ele.

— Ah, não sabe? Que conveniente, querido. — sua voz saiu ainda mais baixa, carregada de ironia, enquanto ele relaxava ainda mais no assento com a confiança de quem sabe exatamente o efeito que causa. A ereção de Louis fazendo uma elevação na sua calça

Harry se esforçou para ignorar, e desviar os olhos mas era impossível. Ele tentou se manter imóvel, mas não conseguiu evitar quando o corpo reagiu quase contra sua vontade. Sem perceber, se inclinou ligeiramente para o lado, como se algo invisível o puxasse para mais perto de Louis.

Me toque.

Foi só quando estava perigosamente próximo, a cabeça a meros centímetros do colo dele, que percebeu o quão longe ele tinha ido.

O cheiro de Louis o envolvia fazendo a mente de Harry girar. Ele engoliu em seco, lutando para ignorar a pressão crescente na boxer, que parecia insuportavelmente apertada naquele momento. Harry respirou fundo, tentando se recompor, mas a tarefa era quase impossível quando estava tão perto de algo que o atraía de forma anormal.

Louis percebeu tudo.

Seus olhos correram lentamente pelo rosto de Harry, absorvendo cada detalhe — o rubor que pintava suas bochechas, o olhar perdido, a respiração entrecortada. E então, com um sorriso lento e deliberado, ele se inclinou ligeiramente, diminuindo ainda mais a distância entre eles.

— Pois eu poderia jurar — Louis disse, a voz quase um ronronar — que, se não estivéssemos voando agora, você estaria de joelhos, Harry. Implorando... — Ele pausou, deixando o peso das palavras cair, antes de terminar, a voz ainda mais baixa: — Implorando pra colocar meu pau na sua boca e não parar até que eu enchesse ela de porra, na sua boca e no seu rosto.

As palavras o atingiram como um soco. Harry prendeu a respiração mordendo os lábios com força para não gemer de forma manhosa. Ele se sentia vulnerável, exposto, mas ao mesmo tempo algo dentro de dele vibrava com a intensidade daquela provocação.

Harry que sentiu seu corpo queimar abaixou o olhar apenas para perceber o estado em que estava. O pau já ereto pressionava contra o tecido de sua calça, tão evidente que era impossível disfarçar. Ele tentou cobri-la com a sua mão, numa tentativa desajeitada de esconder a situação, mas o toque apenas piorou tudo.

O atrito entre a palma da mão e o tecido fez um arrepio subir por sua espinha, e antes que percebesse, ele começou a se mover-lá de forma que lhe causava uma sensção gostosa demais. Era errado. Ele sabia disso. Estavam em um helicóptero em pleno ar, por Deus!

E Louis… Louis era o pai da sua namorada.

Mas o quão errado era isso quando o próprio Louis parecia estar provocando e ser o autor de cada reação em seu corpo?

Louis percebeu o que ele estava fazendo rápido demais. Seus olhos se estreitaram enquanto ele inclinava a cabeça ligeiramente, os olhos azuis cravados em Harry de uma frma quase predatória, obscura. Ele não disse nada, apenas observou de canto de olho o cacheado, perdido em seu próprio desejo, continuando a mover a sua mão, incapaz de parar até que gozasse.

— Tão desesperado assim, Harry? — Louis quebrou o silêncio em um sussurro que parecia atingir a pele de Harry em novos arrepios. — Mal pode esperar?

A pergunta fez Harry estremecer. Ele abriu a boca para responder, mas as palavras ficaram presas em sua garganta. Cada fibra de seu ser dizia que aquilo era um erro colossal, mas o corpo… o corpo tinha ideias completamente diferentes.

— Louis... — Harry tentou falar, mas sua voz saiu rouca e quebrada, carregada de um desejo que não podia mais controlar.

Me toque!

— Você gosta disso, não gosta? — A voz de Louis era suave, mas havia algo perigoso nela, algo que fazia Harry estremecer ainda mais. — A ideia de se tocar como uma vadia desesperada enquanto eu estou aqui... te enlouquece, não é?

Harry não conseguiu responder. Um gemido rouco e manhoso escapou de seus lábios, carregado de necessidade e desespero. Sua mente era um caos, perdida em um turbilhão de sensações que faziam seu corpo reagir a cada palavra, a cada olhar penetrante de Louis. Ele fechou os olhos, tentando conter o fluxo de pensamentos insanos, mas seus movimentos ficavam cada vez mais rápidos, mais descontrolados.

Os gemidos e sussuros ditados com "por favor" de Harry preenchiam a cabine do helicóptero, abafados pelo som das hélices. Louis sentiu algo se acender dentro dele, um calor avassalador que ameaçava quebrar sua concentração. Ele manteve os olhos fixos no painel de instrumentos, tentando manter o controle, mas o reflexo de Harry no vidro o atormentava – o corpo tenso, os lábios entreabertos, os dedos trabalhando em seu pau com um desespero que o fazia perder o ar.

Louis moveu a mão, ajustando um controle no painel, mas aproveitou para deslizar os dedos pelo encosto do assento, roçando de propósito o braço de Harry. O toque foi breve, quase acidental, mas a eletricidade que passou entre eles foi impossível de ignorar. Ele viu Harry tremer, o peito subindo e descendo em ritmo frenético, enquanto sua respiração se tornava ainda mais entrecortada.

— Olhe para mim, querido — murmurou Louis, a voz rouca, carregada de autoridade e desejo.

Harry abriu os olhos lentamente, o olhar vidrado, entregue. Louis prendeu a respiração por um momento, o controle que tanto lutava para manter começando a fraquejar enquanto a intensidade da situação o consumia.

— Eu quero ver você gozar aqui em cima — Louis ordenou, a voz baixa, carregada de desejo e autoridade.

Harry soltou mais um dos seus gemidos, a mão se movendo frenética em seu membro enquanto o calor subia por seu corpo em ondas intensas. O desejo o consumia, crescendo de forma quase insuportável, cada palavra de Louis alimentando o fogo dentro dele. Seus músculos começaram a tensionar, e com um último movimento desesperado, ele sentiu o orgasmo atingir como uma explosão, uma onda avassaladora que o fez perder o fôlego.

O corpo de Harry arqueou, os dedos se apertando ao redor de si mesmo, enquanto ele gemia alto, choroso sem conseguir se conter. Os sons de sua boca preenchiam a cabine, abafados apenas pelas hélices do helicóptero. Seus olhos semicerrados, brilhando de luxúria e vulnerabilidade, buscaram os de Louis, como se implorassem por aprovação. Louis permaneceu imóvel, os dedos crispados sobre os controles do helicóptero, o maxilar travado, trincado, enquanto o desejo faiscava em seus olhos. Cada gemido de Harry era uma tortura deliciosa, e o aperto desconfortável em sua calça se tornava desesperador.

Quando a onda orgásmica finalmente começou a evaporar de suas células, Harry deixou o corpo relaxar contra o encosto do assento, ofegante, o peito subindo e descendo em ritmo acelerado. O calor ainda queimava em sua pele, e a umidade visível da goza em sua calça era um lembrete explícito do que acabara de acontecer. O cheiro de sexo pairava na cabine, se misturando ao som constante das hélices.

O helicóptero começou a pousar em uma área afastada, no topo de um prédio imponente em meio ao condomínio privado que Louis praticamente comandava. Harry, ainda embriagado pelo orgasmo, olhou pela janela, sem se surpreender ao imaginar que aquele edifício provavelmente pertencia a Louis também. Tudo parecia parte do domínio dele, cada detalhe cuidadosamente controlado.

Louis, sentado ao lado, se moveu levemente na poltrona, afastando as pernas em um gesto deliberado. O seu pau já envergado latejava por uma atenção, a tensão evidente em seu corpo parecia clamar por alívio. Louis apertou o próprio pau a fim de conter a agonia se ter aquele garoto e ergueu os olhos para Harry, sua voz saindo baixa e carregada de autoridade:

— Venha até aqui.

Harry sentiu o convite como uma ordem, um comando silencioso que ele não tinha intenção de desobedecer. O cacheado foi recebido por mãos firmes que seguraram sua cintura modelada, o puxando para mais perto. Harry engoliu em seco quando ouviu Louis murmurar, o tom grave enviando arrepios pela sua espinha:

— Senta aqui — Louis disse puxando Harry para seu colo de maneira firme sem pressa.

Harry obedeceu, deslizando para o colo de Louis, as coxas abertas ao redor dele. O contato foi imediato e incendiário, o calor dos corpos se encontrando através das camadas finas de tecido. O pau duro de Louis pressionou diretamente contra a bunda de Harry arrancando dele um suspiro tremido.

As mãos de Harry foram instintivamente para os ombros de Louis, buscando apoio, enquanto as do sogro dele subiam pela cintura deslizando até a nuca para puxar ele mais perto. O olhar de Louis era voraz, faminto, e cada palavra que escapava de sua boca parecia carregar um peso insuportável.

— Você fica tão lindo assim, querido — Louis sussurrou com a voz rouca e baixa, como se fosse um segredo que apenas Harry deveria ouvir.

Harry tremeu, um arrepio correndo por todo o seu corpo. O peito subia e descia rapidamente enquanto ele tentava dizer algo, mas sua voz falhou no instante em que Louis levantou de maneira sútil os quadris, um movimento lento mas o suficiente para pressionar exatamente onde Harry estava mais sensível.

— Louis... — Harry disse mas as suas palavra morreram em seus lábios, se transformando em um gemido abafado que parecia incendiar ainda mais o olhar de Louis.

O movimento lento fez Harry arfar novamente, seus dedos apertando os ombros de Louis em um reflexo de puro prazer. Ele se inclinou para frente, os rostos tão próximos que suas respirações se misturavam. Louis observava cada reação com um olhar que era ao mesmo tempo dominador e adorador, como se Harry fosse uma obra de arte moldada apenas para ele.

— Assim — Louis murmurou, os dedos apertando a cintura de Harry o segurando no lugar. — Quero que sinta tudo.

O atrito, mesmo através das suas roupas, era sufocante. Harry arfou, jogando a cabeça para trás, o corpo reagindo sem escolhas buscando mais do prazer que Louis parecia administrar com uma precisão cruel. Em pequenas doses homeopáticas. Suas mãos deslizaram dos ombros de Louis até sua nuca, os dedos se entrelaçando no cabelo perfeito dele, enquanto sua pele se aquecia sob o toque quente e exigente de Louis.

Louis aproveitou o pescoço exposto de Harry, se inclinando para traçar beijos molhados e mordidas pela pele sensível dele. Cada contato arrancava novos gemidos de Harry, que agora movia a sua bunda com mais intensidade contra o pau dolorido de Louis, cada vez menos hesitante, cada vez mais desesperado.

Santo Deus, ele podia sentir tudo. Tudo de Louis.

— Perfeito — Louis murmurou contra a pele de Harry, a voz rouca e possessiva, cada palavra como um selo de aprovação. Ele repetiu, quase como um mantra, os lábios roçando na pele quente. — Perfeito, perfeito, perfeito...

Aquelas palavras queimaram algo profundo em Harry, o que fez Louis puxar Harry para um beijo faminto e urgente. As línguas se encontraram em um choque selvagem, refletindo a intensidade que vibrava entre eles. As mãos de Louis passeavam sem destino certo pelas laterais do corpo de Harry, traçando o caminho das costelas até os quadris, onde os dedos apertaram com força antes de deslizarem mais para baixo. O tecido justo da calça skinny parecia conspirar com Louis, realçando cada curva que ele queria tocar.

Quando os dedos finalmente alcançaram a bunda firme de Harry, Louis não hesitou. Ele apertou com força, arrancando um gemido rouco, urgente e mimado dos lábios entreabertos de Harry, como se o som tivesse escapado de forma involuntária, mas carregado de necessidade. Aquele som foi tudo o que Louis precisava para incendiar ainda mais o desejo que o consumia. Ele rosnou baixo que vibrou contra os lábios de Harry.

Harry, tomado pelo calor crescente, empinou os quadris instintivamente, pressionando o próprio pau rígido em sua calça contra o de Louis.

Ele precisava de mais, muito mais, e o corpo implorava por algo que só Louis poderia dar.

Louis, incapaz de conter sua própria fome, deslizou uma mão firme até o pescoço de Harry, o afastando de seus lábios. Seus olhos queimavam com um misto de controle e adoração enquanto observava o jovem rebolar em seu colo, desesperado por algo mais, algo que Louis estava pronto para conceder — mas no momento exato que quisesse.

— Olha pra você — Louis murmurou a voz rouca e carregada de luxúria. — Implorando como se fosse só meu... porque é.

A visão era deliciosa, para caralho.

Foi com esse pensamento que Louis deixou sua mão deslizar, libertando sua ereção com um movimento firme.

Grossa, rígida, a ponta brilhando com gotas de pré-gozo. Os olhos de Harry estavam fixos no membro, quase hipnotizados. A íris verde parecia engolida pela escuridão de suas pupilas dilatadas, revelando o desejo que transbordava

O pau de Louis latejou, pulsando de forma perceptível, arrancando um leve franzir das sobrancelhas de Harry. Sem hesitar, ele ergueu uma mão trêmula, os dedos fechando com cuidado em torno do comprimento pulsante.

Louis observava cada detalhe: os olhos atentos de Harry seguindo o movimento, a delicadeza com que sua mão subia e descia, o desaparecimento e reaparecimento da glande em sua palma.

Quando Harry pressionou a ponta, espalhando o pré-gozo pela pele quente, um gemido rouco escapou da garganta de Louis. Ele segurou a cintura de Harry com firmeza, controlando-se. Não. Harry não merecia algo apressado, bruto, apenas para aliviar a tensão que queimava em seu corpo.

Harry merecia algo mais. Merecia ser levado ao êxtase devagar, tão intensamente que o faria perder o fôlego — talvez até chorar.

O pau de Louis pulsava, como se reforçasse os pensamentos que corriam em sua mente. Ele inclinou-se, deixando os lábios tocarem o lóbulo da orelha de Harry, sussurrando com a voz carregada de desejo:

— Me deixa te foder, meu amor.

Harry parecia que havia entendido o que Louis queria e aumentou a pressão do seu punho, o tornando mais apertado.

— Por favor — Harry murmurou, a voz firme, completamente entregue.

Mas antes que fosse longe demais, Louis segurou o pulso dele, o forçando a parar. Qualquer outro deslize e ele gozaria ali mesmo.

Harry obedeceu, soltando o membro quente e pulsante. Seus dedos, agora úmidos com o pré-gozo de Louis, subiram até os lábios. Lentamente, ele passou a língua sobre cada um deles, saboreando, os olhos verdes nunca desviando do azul intenso que o encarava.

A pressa que correu nas veias de Louis e Harry os fizeram agir rapido. Harry desceu as mãos trêmulas até o cós da calça skinny e, num movimento rápido e preciso, a puxou para baixo junto com a sua boxer molhada pelo seu prazer anterior e atual.

Louis deixou que seu olhar percorresse cada centímetro de Harry, devorando-o com a intensidade de alguém que havia esquecido o que era controle. O corpo exposto de Harry era uma obra de arte, feito para ser admirado — e reivindicado. Cada curva, cada linha, parecia gritar pelo nome de Louis. O pau de Harry pulsava, junto com o de Louis exposto, com o pré-gozo escorrendo lentamente pela glande inchada e sensível. O desejo nos olhos de Louis era lgo tão bruto que Harry quase se contorceu sob o peso daquele olhar.

Quando Harry voltou a sentar no colo de Louis, a sensação da pele nua contra a ereção molhada fez ambos perderem o fôlego. A bunda quente de Harry pressionada contra o pau rígido de Louis era enlouquecedora, um contraste entre o calor avassalador e o controle que escapava por entre os dedos de ambos.

Louis contraiu o maxilar, tentando manter um resquício de sanidade, mas a ideia de estar dentro de Harry o consumia por completo. Um desejo profundo e incontrolável tomava conta dele, um desejo que o fazia perder o ar.

Certamente não era a sua primeira vez com um homem, mas Louis despertava algo em Harry que ia além do prazer físico. Era um impulso bruto, uma necessidade quase destrutiva. Ele podia ver isso nos olhos de Louis — um mar escuro e tempestuoso, cheio de camadas de desejo que se misturavam com algo mais profundo.

Por ele.

A mão de Louis, agora mais marcada por veias saltadas, percorreu as pernas, as coxas, até a cintura apertando a carne macia com tanta firmeza que parecia quase doloroso.

Para marcar.

Harry soltou um som, e Louis viu, pela primeira vez, algo como uma luz divina. Naquele momento, ele percebeu que, aos seus olhos, Harry era uma visão celestial.

As maçãs do rosto estavam coradas, tingidas por um rosa intenso que refletia sua excitação. A boca, vermelha e ligeiramente inchada de tanto ser mordida pelos próprios dentes, brilhava com a umidade da saliva.

Tentador e irresistível.

A luz do sol, filtrada pelas janelas do helicóptero, banhava sua pele, criando um brilho dourado que fazia Harry parecer um anjo caído, moldado para o pecado. Seus olhos verdes, mais claros do que nunca, reluziam como esmeraldas sob a luz, enquanto as pupilas dilatavam, denunciando o prazer que corria por seu corpo.

Era uma visão capaz de fazer Louis perder o fôlego, um espetáculo que parecia existir apenas para ele.

As mãos de Louis continuaram sua jornada, descendo até a bunda redonda e empinada de Harry. Ele a apertou com firmeza, a força suficiente para deixar as marcas de seus dedos cravadas na pele macia, como uma assinatura que gritava posse. Harry mordeu o lábio inferior, tentando conter o gemido que ameaçava escapar.

Louis puxou Harry para mais perto e com os dedos molhados em sua própria lubrificação, Louis os guiou até a entrada estreita de Harry, circulando o pequeno buraco antes de pressionar, forçando a entrada.

Harry não aguentou e fechou os olhos, a cabeça tombando para trás enquanto uma respiração entrecortada escapava de seus lábios.

— Abra os olhos — Louis ordenou, agarrando o queixo de Harry o forçando a encarar novamente. Manter seus olhos um no outro. — Eu vou te destruir, querido.

Porém, ao contrário de medo, Harry sentiu um prazer avassalador com aquela frase, tornando seu buraco menos apertado para o dedo de Louis e o pau se molhando ainda mais de pré-gozo.

— Eu vou te foder tão bem, e vai ser tão bom, tão bom que você me sentirá por dias em seu buraco. Eu fiquei marcado em você como uma marca que consome tudo — Harry se contorce rebolando no colo de Louis e esfregando sua bunda contra o pau duro que pressionava entre suas coxas. — Eu serei o dono dos seus pensamentos. — E em um golpe certeiro, Louis acerta a próstata de Harry o fazendo gritar abafado naquele helicóptero estacionado, cercados apenas pelo céu e pela vastidão verde.

— Mais, Louis... — Harry implorou, ofegante rebolando nos dedos dele. — Por favor... Mais... Mais..

— Calma, querido — Louis retirou os dedos devagar, provocando um suspiro frustrado de Harry. Ele o ergueu com firmeza pela cintura, alinhando a entrada com a cabeça do pau grosso e pulsante.

Louis empurrou devagar, e o pau dele tremulou ao sentir o buraco apertado de Harry se acomodando ao redor, quente e acolhedor, como se tivesse sido feito para ele. Cada centímetro que entrava arrancava gemidos altos e desesperados de Harry, que não conseguia segurar a voz.

Ele gemia como uma vadia desinibida, cada vez mais alto, tão alto que parecia querer ser ouvido por todo o céu ao redor. O helicóptero balançava levemente, testemunhando o frenesi, enquanto o suor escorria pelas pontas dos cabelos de Harry. Louis passou os dedos pelos fios úmidos, um toque breve de carinho que logo se desfez quando ele começou a levantar o quadril com força, suas investidas ferozes arrancando suspiros e gritos ainda mais altos de Harry.

Louis o comia com força, cada estocada mais profunda do que a anterior. O som molhado de seus corpos se chocando preenchia o espaço. Louis não podia deixar de observar o quão bonito Harry estava naquele momento, sentado em seu colo, acomodado em seu pau.

O recebendo tão bem.

Tão fundo em sua bunda.

Ele deu uma estocada bruta que arrancou o fôlego de Harry, fazendo-o choramingar. O contraste entre o corpo de Harry, que pedia delicadeza, com sua pele imaculada, tão clara quanto algumas nuvens distantes no céu, e a brutalidade de Louis, socando, estocando, metendo sem piedade, era avassalador.

Aquela comparação tão suja e obscena viveria nos pensamentos lúbricos para sempre.

— L-Louis... eu... eu vou... — Harry gemeu, ofegante, o fôlego saindo com esforço de seus pulmões. O helicóptero chegava à coisa proibida, enquanto o som ecoante das peles se chocando só fazia o tesão aumentar.

— Porra, você é uma puta tão boa, tão boa pra mim, querido — Louis disse, a voz rouca rosnando contra os lábios de Harry.

Louis continuou estocando até o momento em que se afastou de Harry.

— Vire. Vire de costas pra mim.

Harry, obviamente, obedeceu, se afastando do pau de Louis e virando de costas para ele, que teve a visão mais majestosa quando colocou o pau de volta no buraco de Harry, inclinando-o sobre o controle cíclico do helicóptero. A imagem do pau entrando e saindo era alucinante, fazendo sua cabeça girar em 180 graus.

A maneira como Harry se empinava para recebê-lo cada vez mais forte dentro de si, a forma como rebolava, era intoxicante.

Louis agarrou os cabelos de Harry, puxando-os entre os dedos, enquanto a curva de seu quadril contra a pélvis de Louis ficava gravada em sua mente.

Com uma das mãos livres, segurou firme a cintura de Harry, mantendo-o no lugar enquanto sentia seu pau contrair e esporrar fundo dentro dele.

Louis havia gozado, e Harry, ao sentir o calor quente o preenchendo, pensou que se tornaria facilmente um viciado em receber a porra de Louis dentro da sua bunda.

O alívio que tomou conta de Louis, como uma tormenta que se dissipava, o fez relaxar. Mas, instantes depois, com o movimento da bunda de Harry rebolando, Louis deu uma última estocada, arrancando de ambos um gemido alto. Harry quase gritou ao cair contra o colo de Louis, que o segurou, passando devagar a ponta do nariz pela bochecha suada de Harry.

— Shhhh... — Louis sussurrou, conduzindo o quadril de Harry a rebolar. Devagar, tão devagar. — Devagar, meu amor... assim.

— Hmm... — Harry gemeu, choroso, sentindo a pressão de Louis dentro de si.

Era tão bom.

Louis só queria manter seu pau naquele lugar apertado, quente como um aquecedor.

O seu aquecedor de pau.

Ele não demorou a gozar novamente, o prazer escorrendo do buraco de Harry, molhando as suas bolas.

Os dois permaneceram na onda de um orgasmo atrás do outro, enquanto a respiração de Harry se alterava ao alcançar o quarto clímax seguido.

Talvez Harry estivesse redondamente errado ao afirmar que não deixaria Louis o destruir, porque permitiria, sem hesitar, que o mesmo cenário se repetisse centenas de vezes.

Incontáveis vezes.

olá novamente babies, voltei, voltei com uma história nova e também para agradecer bastante. agradecer a todos os likes, a todos os comentários, seguidores, compartilhamentos, muito, muito obrigada. eu não tenho palavras para agradecer a todos vocês.

principalmente a maior delas, a minha amiga que me impulsiona assim como vocês @ihrryboobies, san, eu não tenho palavras pra você amiga, você é incrível, eu te admiro muito. se um dia me for permitido espero te abraçar bem forte e compartilhar com você a figurinha, a maior figurinha da minha cartela.

no fim, obrigada a todos vocês por deixarem fazer o que eu amo novamente que é escrever.

Obrigada! Até breve, e eu volto ein

Tenham um boa noite, xero no coração. 🥹🪽

[sunshyni]

e você é linda | Song Mingi

sinopse — aquele era um daqueles dias em que você se sentia péssima, mesmo depois de passar três horas se arrumando. No entanto, Mingi te idolatrava como a verdadeira deusa que você era.

w.c — 0.6k

🌻notinha da Sun — Voltarei à ativa assim que puder!! As coisas estão meio corridas, mas programei essa pra vocês não sentirem tanto a minha falta KKKKK. Tava vendo uns vídeos do ateez e bateu vontade de escrever algo com o Mingi, então tá aí! Espero que gostem!!

— Desculpa a demora — você disse a Mingi assim que entrou no carro parado em frente à sua casa. Ele se inclinou para beijar seu rosto, mas você, instintivamente, o escondeu. — Acho que estou horrível. Meu cabelo não ficou do jeito que eu queria, e ainda tentei uma maquiagem diferente, mas não consegui e preferi o de sempre.

Mingi sorriu. Você não precisava olhar para saber — sentia. Ele sempre estava impecável, vaidoso como de costume. Mas a verdade era que, mesmo que viesse te buscar com o rosto limpo e o cabelo lavado às pressas com o mesmo sabonete de sempre, continuaria irresistível. O cheiro fresco dele invadiu suas narinas, e, por um instante, tudo que você queria era subir em seu colo e nunca mais sair dali.

— Para de ser boba, cê tá linda — ele disse, afastando suas mãos que cobriam seu rosto. Com delicadeza, ajeitou um cachinho bem-feito para trás e te observou. Aos olhos dele, não havia nada de errado. Ele te amava com ou sem maquiagem, com o cabelo impecável ou desgrenhado pela rotina pesada da faculdade. Gostava até das suas olheiras, fruto das madrugadas revisando conteúdo em chamadas com ele. Adorava sua "pandinha particular". — Tá linda, deliciosa, gostosa e tão minha.

Deus sabia o quanto você gostava de elogios. E Mingi também. Você se fazia de tímida, pedia para ele parar, mas ele conhecia bem a verdade. Você adorava ser o centro das atenções pelos motivos certos, adorava se sentir inteligente. E especialmente gostava quando ele te chamava de gostosa e enchia sua pele de beijos, como fazia agora, sob a luz da lua e dos postes da rua.

— Você não tá dizendo isso só pra me agradar, né? — você perguntou, afastando-o do seu pescoço para encará-lo. Seus olhos se estreitaram, avaliando a resposta. — Você é tão lindo... Precisa de alguém à sua altura.

— Você só quer que eu te beije até parar de pensar, né, bonita? — Ele sorriu, e você também, puxando-o pelo colarinho. Às vezes, desejava poder se fundir a ele, tornar-se um só corpo. Gostava tanto, amava tanto, que sentia esse amor correr por suas veias como uma circulação extra, além da sanguínea e linfática. — Você tá perfeitinha, como sempre. E eu sou o sortudo por te ter, não o contrário.

— Você sempre sabe o que dizer, né? — você murmurou, ainda encarando-o. Ele se afastou um pouco e deu batidinhas nas próprias coxas, indicando para você atravessar a marcha que dividia os assentos e se sentar sobre ele. Você o fez, encolhendo-se em seu colo como um bicho-preguiça em sua árvore. Queria ficar assim para sempre.

Mingi traçava caminhos preguiçosos em suas costas, descia até suas pernas, subia pelas coxas, suas palmas quentes deslizando por baixo da sua saia. Seu toque era ao mesmo tempo suave e arrebatador, e sua pele parecia ferver. Com a cabeça apoiada no peito dele, você sentia seu coração bater. Quando olhou para cima, encontrou os olhos dele fixos em você. Piscou algumas vezes, tentando processar a sorte que tinha por namorar alguém como ele.

— E se a gente ficar assim pra sempre? — você sussurrou.

Mingi sorriu, mostrando os dentes brancos e alinhados. Meu Deus, como ele era bonito. Ele te apertou mais contra si, e você quase suspirou, completamente confortável em seus braços.

— Acho que seria mais confortável se a gente fosse para o banco de trás — ele disse, claramente com segundas intenções.

Você arregalou os olhos, divertida, e deu um tapinha fraco nele.

— Você é um safado.

— E você é linda.

©sunshyni. Todos os direitos reservados.

[deathfavor]

@sortilegii said: embraced by solitude where the laws of everything are made void, it is but inherently implied: it is only them there, two seekers, two presences who have long abandoned all that dances within the sphere of the inconsequential in pursuit of higher truths, which many have labeled "madness". ah, but what is madness if not truth that dares to defile conventions? she is a higher existence, in all respects worthy of praise of most ardent, most sincere, ceaseless. who else should be fitting to provide, if not one undying?

this, however, is given not lightly.

gloved hand is brought to further shorten distance between them. he dreads not the possibility dreya's sharp edges would cut him. this vessel of his is no useless composition of fragile bone and muscle, after all. fingertips beckoned into gentleness afforded to her alone tuck, in nigh reverential manner, strand of silvery hair behind her ear.

"give me your stars!" request is offered in murmur akin to water's voice. "in return, i may offer the bloody essence of all that i have carved myself to become, all solely for your eyes alone to witness. but, you must, oh how you must, permit me to navigate your constellations, commit them to memory, form thus the chart of you.! ( i am sorry but LSKFJFHGF that post awoke something in me )

   Dreya lingers, calm and serene in this space that is their own. It was a place that no one could reach, sans Parma, except for the rare times everything would align correctly for this realm to bleed into the main world. It was like the nebular clouds in space that blended together and gave rise to a new star. ( And, in a sense, was that not true? When her realm and the main realm met, she would arise from blood red skies – an embodiment of the Perishing Star that had forever changes the course of his world. ) For now it was their space ; a refuge for him should he need it. 

   Long before she’d become something else than just a human, touch had become something rarely encountered. Others not inclined with her studios pursuit and family often further away. Then the thought of touch had been long forgotten ; who needed in pursuit of knowledge? Much less after that when star and her had become entwined. Dreya hadn’t regarded the changes either, though she was well aware of the changes and contamination that had become something like part of her. Yet Parma neither feared it nor seemed concerned that he might nick himself on the sharpest pieces of it. He holds no apparent concern to potential consequences, whatever they might be. 

   His touch is alluring, drawing her attention towards him as he moves a strand of her hair back behind her ear. There is little time in the present to linger on that when he speaks. It’s funny, time has essentially become useless to her in that it does not affect her the same way. Yet here she’s made aware there’s none of it when words flow from his lips in hushed reverence. There is no other to hear what words they speak to each other, but there’s something appealing in the intimacy of hushed voices exchanging words together. 

   “  Parma.  “  His name falls from her lips like it’s something that the whole universe and all its stars should know and commit to memory. She listens to his words and the request that he makes of her in exchange for him. Her right hand lifts and presses to his chest – without pushing but with just enough pressure to be gently felt. Knowledge for her alone, to let her pick him apart or as she wills with all that he is in exchange to be known herself.  “  They already are yours.  “  Her voice rolls through the space between them, hushed yet powerful still. 

   Dreya trails her touch away from his chest to grasp his hand, cool skin against smooth leather as she draws it closer to her. Permission granted in gesture alone yet she speaks still.  “ They are yours to explore and map as you see fit. “ Her head tilts a fraction, a small smile brushing over her lips as she loosens her casual hold and sets him free. 

[stardi]

𝟎𝟎𝟏, PLAYING CUPID

pairing! anakin skywalker x fem!reader

synopsis! r2-d2 can't stand seeing anakin and you fight, so he decides to play his favorite game: being cupid!

warnings! verbal fight, fluff, artoo being such a cutie little droid :c

word count! 4.6k

note! this is the longest shit i've ever written in my whole life 😨 IT'S ALSO INSPIRED BY A DREAM I HAD WITH ANAKIN HEHEHHEHE so it's special, i hope you like it as much as i do <33.

my mother tongue is spanish, so i ask for your patience and a lot of kindness in case you want to make an observation about my narration, grammar or spelling. thank you!

© stardi - all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or modify without permission and credits!

The time had long surpassed the stroke of midnight, yet fate had conspired to hold you, Anakin and R2-D2 captive in the war room, surrounded by maps and holographic projections of the enemy's forces. As one of the highest-ranking Generals, the weighty responsibility had fallen upon you and Anakin to devise a strategic plan, one that would orchestrate the downfall of a fortified Separatist stronghold nestled upon a remote planet.

Your eyes felt heavy, your head pounded, and every inch of your body was begging for some rest. All you yearned for was respite, a sanctuary within the confines of your bunk, where you could surrender to slumber's embrace for an entire week. Looking over at Anakin, you could tell that he wasn't feeling any different from you, his body language betraying his exhaustion, letting you know that you weren't alone in your misery. You couldn't help but wonder how much longer you and your best friend could keep going like this.

You hated war.

It was a brutal business, and you hated every moment of it. Its destructive nature, the lives it claimed, the endless planning and executing was taking its toll on you.

Yet, you soldiered on, fueled by the hope that your efforts would make a difference.

With bleary eyes, you rubbed at the fatigue-induced haze, striving to maintain focus amidst the flickering glow emanating from the tactical map. In that moment, Anakin turned to you. A adorable yawn, one he tried to suppress but failed, escaped his lips with a slight suspire. It was a stark contrast to his imposing figure; strong, broad, and towering. It was in these small, vulnerable moments that his true essence shone through, captivating your soul like nothing else.

You wondered if he knew how cute he looked when he was tired, or how every little gesture of his was beautiful in its own way.

"I think we should launch a frontal assault," suddenly, his confident and resolute voice broke through your thoughts about him. His index finger moved at a specific area and your gaze followed his hand. An undeniable knot of worry coiled in the pit of your stomach. The location he had singled out was no ordinary point on the map; it was a fortified entrance, a bastion of enemy resistance that had withstood countless assaults. "We'll hit them hard and fast, overwhelm their defenses, and take the base in a matter of hours."

"That's a risky move," you interjected, unsure about the feasibility of his plan. His illogical proposal took your sleep away in less than a second. "The Separatists have had time to fortify their position and they'll be expecting us. We could lose a lot of men if we charge in blindly."

"We're Jedi, not cowards. We can handle whatever they throw at us."

"But what if they have some kind of surprise waiting for us?" you countered, your own frustration growing as you watched Anakin's tired eyes roll in exasperation at your objections. His pretty, oh, so pretty eyes. "A trap? A minefield? A hidden weapon? We need to approach this mission with caution."

The General let out a long, drawn-out sigh, his brows furrowing deeply in annoyance. He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a clear demonstration of displeasure. The weariness in his eyes was overshadowed by an unmistakable expression of disdain as he peered at you, a seemingly conviction that you, in that moment, were the dumbest living form in the entire vastness of the galaxy.

"Caution?" he exclaimed, the word escaping his lips like a bitter scoff. "We need to seize the initiative and strike while the iron is hot. Our troops are ready, and the time is right."

Exhaustion was mounting, and you could feel a dull ache pulsing through your temples. Instinctively, you rubbed your forehead in a futile attempt to alleviate the fatigue that threatened to cloud your judgment. A silent plea to the gods or the Force itself crossed your mind, a pray to grant you the patience and wisdom necessary to navigate the turbulent sea of Anakin's unwavering determination.

He's so stubborn.

It was legendary, he could be as immovable as a mountain. His obstinacy resembled a deep-rooted tree, firmly entrenched in his convictions, rendering it nearly impossible to sway or alter. You had long known this about the man you loved the most, and you were aware of how difficult it could be to change his mind once he was set on something. This quality of his, simultaneously admirable and frustrating, had been witnessed by everyone on numerous occasions.

And now it was putting the mission at risk.

A pang of guilt struck you as you thought back on the many times you had given in to his plans or ideas to avoid a conflict that wears out your mind and heart. You knew deep down that it wasn't worth it, that sometimes it was easier to concede than to argue. But today, now, this case was different. This time, the stakes were higher, you couldn't let him put your troops in unnecessary danger just because you wanted to avoid an argument. Your decisions could make or break the success of the mission.

"I'm not saying we should be cowards, Anakin. I'm saying we should be smart. We need to think about the bigger picture here," you stated calmly, trying to reason with him, leaning forward in your seat to trace your finger along the terrain as you spoke. "We can send in a smaller team to gather intel. Then, based on what they find, we can make the best decision about how to proceed. We need to minimize our losses and maximize our chances of success."

Anakin's intense gaze held yours, and you felt a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, he was genuinely considering your suggestion. His eyes seemed to search yours for a moment, as if weighing the options and possibilities. But, as quickly as that flicker of possibility had arisen, it was snuffed out by the curve of his lips, which seemed to twist into a disapproving sneer.

"I appreciate your input, Y/N," he replied, polite but tinged with a dismissive tone. Running a hand through his tousled hair, he caused a few strands to fall gracefully back into place. That gesture would have normally made your heart flutter, however, the gravity of the situation kept you firmly grounded. "But I know what needs to be done. We're going with my plan," he concluded like a definitive statement, standing up from his seat with a data-pad in his hands, approaching the droid that was holding other maps for you. "R2, come here. Help me with something."

Unacceptable.

You sat there for a moment, stunned and speechless, trying to process what had just happened. Had he truly made the final call without giving a second thought to your perspective? Just like that? Was he so convinced of his own rightness that he was willing to dismiss your opinions entirely? The audacity! The heat of your rage begin to rise in your chest as you watched him compare maps with the droid without any worry or disturb at his behavior. How dare he? You wanted to scream, to lash out, to tell him exactly what you thought of him and his I'm-always-right attitude. But at the same time, you knew that wouldn't solve anything.

Summoning all your willpower, you took a deep breath, clenching your teeth with fervor and mentally counted to ten, harnessing your emotions as you rose from your seat walked purposefully toward him.

You closed the distance, your gaze weighed heavily upon the back of his neck. It pierced through his consciousness, momentarily causing a flicker of confusion to ripple across his features, drawing his attention to your presence. However, after a fleeting moment of acknowledgment, he redirected his focus back to the droid, continuing with his task, seemingly dismissing the impact of your unspoken message.

"You're not even willing to consider other options?" you questioned. The words hung in the air, suspended between you and Anakin. Yet, he stood unmoved. "You're just going to charge in blindly and hope for the best?"

"It's not blind," Anakin emitted a chuckle, dripping with sarcasm. He didn't even bother to face you, his voice carrying a hint of condescension. "It's a calculated risk."

"Anakin, we're supposed to be a team," you crossed your arms, your voice firm but tinged with a touch of pleading. "We should be working together on this."

"I am working with you. I just don't agree with your strategy," his annoyance was palpable as he finally set aside his data-pad, pivoting his well-built frame to face you, his gaze piercing with impatience. "You're too cautious, too hesitant. Your plan will only hold us back. I know what I'm doing."

A slap in the face. That's how it felt. You had always been willing to put yourself in harm's way for the greater good, but you knew that there was a difference between bravery and foolishness, a thin line you weren't willing to cross. Anakin, on the other hand, seemed to have a hard time distinguishing between the two.

"I'm holding us back?" you shot, incredulous. You didn't notice the way your voice was slowly rising. "You're the one who's being reckless and impulsive. As always," Anakin's narrowed eyes burned with indignant fury, his initial annoyance transforming into a smoldering anger that threatened to consume the room. You knew that your words had struck a nerve, even though they held a semblance of truth.

As the tension in the room thickened, the air heavy with unyielding wills, R2-D2 beeped urgently, his mechanical voice punctuating the air seeking to intervene. The astromech droid, more than just a resourceful companion, was a friend, his loyalty extended beyond mere service; he cared deeply for both of you, aware of the underlying, unspoken feelings that bound you together. Every subtle interaction was etched into his memory circuits, everything. From the stolen glances and telltale blushes provoked by compliments, from the extended hugs that lingered longer than necessary after arduous missions and the occasional brushes of hands. He longed for nothing more than to see you both happy and united, free from the burdens of conflict.

And he was determined to fulfill his longing, he was going to put an end to the argument, and maybe take advantage of the situation a little. A mischievous thought flitted through his mechanical mind: Did the two of you know about his favorite game?

"Not now, R2," Anakin snapped, caught up in the heat of the moment, waving the droid away. "I am the problem now? You're the one who's being selfish, thinking only of your own safety and not the mission at hand."

"That's not true. I care about the mission, and I care about our troops. I just don't want to see them die needlessly because of a hasty decision," a mocking and arrogant smile stretched across his face.

"You don't have the guts to make the tough calls, do you?"

The way you gasped.

Even R2 seemed taken aback, emitting an surprised beep that mirrored the incredulity you felt. For a moment, you struggled to find your voice, your jaw hanging open in a mix of astonishment and anger. Then, your throat let out a bubbling laughter of disbelief.

"Oh, you don't want to do this," you managed to choke, a sense of warning in your laughs. Anakin's expression shifted, his defiance growing even stronger as he raised his chin, a challenging sparkle in his eyes. His audacious stance seemed to say that he was ready to engage in this verbal duel, if you weren't fighting already, unafraid of the consequences. It was a side of him you had seen before. That stubborn, headstrong Jedi Knight loved pushing boundaries.

"Maybe I do."

Fearing the situation could deteriorate further, R2-D2 acted with a subtle nudge against Anakin's legs, a gentle insistence in his movements as he sought to capture the Jedi's attention, his beeps growing more insistent. Anakin, vexed by the interruption, cast a frustrated glance downward, emitting a groan of annoyance in response.

"R2! Can't you see we are talking? Wait a minute," he scolded.

"No, this is not a talk," you shocked your head angrily. Even as you felt your frustration rising, you feel a twinge of gratitude towards R2 for his attempts to defuse the situation.

"You started this," he accused. "You're always looking for an easy way out, a safe option. But that's not how wars are won. Sometimes you have to take risks, make sacrifices, and do what needs to be done."

"You think I was born yesterday? I perfectly know that. But I'm also not willing to throw away lives for the sake of a bold move," you gritted your teeth, unable to hold your tongue any longer. "If you can't see that, then maybe you're not the leader I thought you were."

Anakin's gaze met yours, and within his eyes, a flicker of surprise mingled with a tinge of remorse, shattering the facade of his unwavering confidence. You knew that your outburst had caught him off guard, but you also knew that it was necessary. You had stood up for yourself and demanded to be heard, and you were not going to allow anyone to dismiss your contributions again.

"What?" he spat, low and dangerous. You stood your ground, refusing to back down.

"You heard me."

"You're questioning my leadership now?"

"I'm questioning your judgment," you declared. "And I won't stand by and let you put our troops in unnecessary danger. I'm not being coward, I'm just following the Jedi Code. You should try it sometime."

Before Anakin could formulate a response, a sudden force propelled him forward, jostling him from behind. R2-D2 had maneuvered into position, pushing Anakin until he stood mere inches from you, nose-to-nose. The unexpected proximity caused Anakin to stumble, a sharp intake of breath escaping his lips and a flush of pink embarrassment danced across his cheeks. The notion of an almost-kiss left him and you momentarily breathless, his eyes evading your gaze as they instead fell upon his mechanical confidant. The droid's incessant beeping were playful now, and lively tiny jumps from side to side seemed to exude an air of amusement.

"Hey, watch it, you little scrap pile!" Anakin scolded the droid, his tone tinged with shame. The close proximity had nearly led to a secretly wanted but inadvertent intimacy. "What are you doing?!"

"Don't talk to him like that!" you chastised him. R2 had been trying to diffuse the situation, to ease the tension that had been building between you and Anakin. He just wanted to help.

Or at least that's what you thought.

"He's pushing me!"

"He's trying to say something!"

"No! He's just being annoying, just like you!"

"Annoying?! Anakin!"

"What?! Nothing of this would have happened if you have just agreed with my plan in first place!" R2-D2 persisted in his efforts, he pushed Anakin from behind once again, yet this time the Jedi anticipated the droid's intentions, bracing himself against the opposing force. Turning his gaze toward his diminutive companion, his expression hardened with resolve. "R2, I swear to the Force, I am going to deactivate you if you don't stop this!"

"I did it because you're being arrogant and stubborn! You think you're better than everyone else, but you're not!"

"Oh! Yeah?!"

"Yeah! You're just a hothead who can't see past his own ego!"

"Don't you dare talk to me about ego!" he yelled back, his voice dripping with venom. "You're the one who can't stand not being in control! You're so afraid of failure that you're willing to sacrifice our chances of success just to cover your own ass!"

Despite Anakin's threats, R2-D2 remained undeterred in his mischievous intervention. With an assertive nudge, the droid propelled Anakin forward once again, causing him to lose his balance and cascade towards you. In a split second, Anakin's reflexes kicked in, his hands reaching out instinctively to catch you, his muscular and warm arms enveloping you protectively. With an agile twist of his body, he positioned himself in such a way that he took the brunt of the fall, ensuring your safety as you both tumbled to the ground.

With your head pressed against his chest, the rhythm of Anakin's rapid heartbeat reverberated in your ears, its intensity mirroring the emotions exploding within him, evident in the way his grip tightened around you even after the fall. In the midst of the unexpected entanglement of limbs and bodies, you found yourselves drawn together in a way that surpassed the boundaries of mere friendship. There was a tenderness to the way your bodies intertwined, as if they were seeking solace and connection by themselves.

You two were close. So close.

The proximity allowed you to intimately perceive the essence of his physical presence, catching the distinct scent of his masculinity that lingered in the air. It was an alluring fragrance, an intoxicating essence that elicited a subtle flush of color upon your cheeks, betraying the effect he had on you.

Looking up into Anakin's eyes, you saw a mixture of concern and anger, his gaze fixed on you as he assessed your well-being. His cheeks flushed with a shade of crimson that only heightened his attractiveness, intensifying your own blush. Yet his focus remained on your safety. Only after confirming that you were unharmed, he shifted his attention to the mischievous droid, his features contorted with frustration and irritation.

"You— Stupid droid!"

"R2," you whispered shyly, a hint of complaint in your voice as you attempted to extricate yourself from Anakin's anatomy. However, as you made your initial move to stand up, an unexpected force pulled you down, causing you to crash back onto his chest. With a perplexed glance downwards, you discovered that both of your zip belts had become entangled, linking your bodies together in a awkward predicament.

You tried to suppress a nervous laugh, but it escaped you, and Anakin joined in. Fingers fumbled and intertwined, attempting to untangle the fabric that held you captive, but the more you struggled, the tighter the clip seemed to become. You could feel his muscles tense under your weight, and you were sure he could feel your trembling hands.

"I-I— Let me—"

"No, stay still. Let's— U-Uh—"

"No— Look, I can— E-Em—"

Just when you thought the moment couldn't become any more mortifying, R2-D2 intervened with a sudden burst of loud beeps, followed by the unmistakable melody of a romantic tune, causing both you and Anakin to freeze. The notes of the music filled the room, creating a whimsical backdrop that seemed to amplify the fluttering shared between you and Anakin. Eyes widening in surprise, you turned to look at Anakin, his expression reflecting a mixture of horror, embarrassment, and a desire to vanish from sight.

"What the- R2, stop that!" Anakin's voice rang out, filled with flustered exasperation. The poor guy looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "Stop it! N-Now!"

But R2-D2 seemed impervious to Anakin's distress, emitting an innocent beep while unabashedly continuing to serenade you both with melody, pleased with the romantic atmosphere he had created.

Unable to contain yourself any longer, you burst into laughter, escaping in a series of happy chuckles that echoed through the room as you watched R2 dancing with the music. Amidst your amusement, you glanced at Anakin, a playful glimmer in your eyes as you sought an explanation.

"What is he doing?" you asked, the giggles still in your voice, your innocent curiosity blending seamlessly with the light-hearted mirth that sparkled in your eyes.

"I-I don't know!" his attempt at feigning ignorance crumbling as a genuine warmth began to radiate in his eyes. Deep down, he couldn't deny that R2-D2's intervention seemed too intentional to be mere chance. Anakin knew that the droid was aware of his hidden affections for you. "I- I swear, I don't know what's got into him. Maybe he's malfunctioning or s-something," Anakin's stammered words failed to conceal the knowing glimmer in his eyes, hinting at a secret he was not yet ready to reveal.

"It's funny," you confessed, a soft smile adorning your lips as your laughter subsided. "Are... you okay?"

"Am I okay?" he repeated, genuine surprise mingling with tenderness in his voice. He paused in his attempts to untangle the belts, his gaze locked with yours. "I am not the one who almost got crushed. Are you okay?"

"But you got crushed! What are you talking about?" you playfully retorted, your laughter mingling with the harmonious melody surrounding you. With a gentle tilt of your head, you regarded him, your smile radiating warmth. "I'm okay," you assured him.

For a suspended moment, the room transformed into a sanctuary of shared vulnerability. As your gaze remained in his, an rare language flowed between you, conveying a depth of understanding that transcended words. In that silent exchange, you detected a subtle shift in Anakin, a softness that belied his earlier brashness. His eyes held a tender gleam, and his touch carried a gentleness you hadn't witnessed until now. Could it be that he felt the same way about you that you did about him? Somehow?

"I'm sorry," his voice murmured, the words almost lost amidst the tender notes of the music. "I didn't mean anything I said earlier, I didn't mean to insult you. I'm just under a lot of pressure. We both are."

"I know, Ani, I know," you nodded, your voice filled with sincerity and compassion. "I'm sorry, too. I also didn't mean to insult you."

R2 emitted a contented series of beeps, seemingly delighted with the outcome of his meddling. Sensing the need for privacy, the droid swiftly departed, leaving the two of you alone. Anakin's brow furrowed in confusion, his attention momentarily diverted by the departing droid.

"Hey! Hey! Where are you going?!" he called out, a trace of annoyance lingering in his voice. Evidently, the source of the current situation was still fresh in his mind. "Come back here!"

And in that instant, you knew it was now or never.

When would an opportunity like this present itself again? When would your hearts be so unguarded, the connection so palpable? The urgency within you propelled you forward, overriding any fears or doubts. You realized that regardless of his response, you had to seize the moment, to convey your feelings through a single, fleeting act.

Unburdened by the need for reciprocation, overriding any fears of rejection or potential consequences, before Anakin managed to separate your belts, you leaned in impulsively and pressed a loving kiss upon his cheek.

His impulsivity can be contagious, you had discovered, and the galaxy reduced to the electrifying touch of your lips against his skin.

Though the contact had been briet, you sensed his unconscious inclination, the way he instinctively leaned his cheek closer to your lips as if seeking a lingering connection. As you gingerly pulled away to witness his reaction, you almost screamed like a schoolgirl caught in the throes of a blossoming romance.

There he was.

His face, already flushed from earlier events, now sported a hue even deeper pink, near to red. His cheeks seemed to puff up slightly, a result of the endearing and slightly bewildered smile he struggled to conceal. His eyes blinked, almost in slow motion, as if he had just awakened from the most enchanting dream imaginable.

And it was only because you kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?" he managed to utter, his voice barely rising above a whisper, as if grappling to find words to articulate his whirlwind of emotions.

"Just because."

That was all he needed to hear.

Anakin's hands gently cradled your face, his touch sending tingles of anticipation through your body. You felt a rush of warmth spreading from your cheeks to the rest of your being, his thumbs caressed your skin tenderly as he drew you closer, closing the distance between your lips.

The moment your mouths met, time seemed to stand still. The world around faded away, leaving only the soft press of his lips against yours. It was a sweet sensation, filled with a blend of longing, desire, and a hint of uncertainty, as if he wanted to convey all his feelings through this single form of love.

As you melted into the kiss, surrendering to the magic of the moment, you could feel Anakin's grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly, his fingers intertwining with the strands of your hair. It was a gesture of both longing and possessiveness, a silent declaration of the emotions that had been building between you for so long, a confirmation that he was here, in this moment, fully present and committed to the love that bloomed between you.

It was better than you imagined. It was much better than he had imagined. It was just... perfect. Right. True.

But as with all things, the kiss eventually came to an end. Reluctantly, you and Anakin parted, breathless and dizzy, with lips tingling, both gasping for air.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his voice filled with awe. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I shouldn't have done that, either," you whispered. His eyes searched yours, seeking a hint of regret, remorse. But he didn t find it. Instead, he felt a pull towards you, a desire for more.

Anakin's stared at you, a silent beg in his eyelids for permission. Driven by an insatiable longing, you leaned in once again, your lips seeking his with urgency and surrender. Time seemed to stand still as your souls intertwined, and just as the kiss was taking the path you wanted, you remembered how it was that you ended up in this precise moment.

The mission.

You kindly pulled away, breathless and exhilarated, your foreheads gently met. The world slowly seeped back into focus, but the imprint of that stolen kiss remained etched upon your very being.

"We should get back to planning," you said, trying to sound practical and composed. Anakin let out a childish complaint, his touch lingering on your cheek for a short moment before reluctantly withdrawing.

"Yeah, we should," he sighed. As much as he wanted to continue kissing you, he knew that you had a mission to focus on. "I'll give you this one. We'll send in a small team to gather intel tomorrow. But I'm telling you, we're going to need to be aggressive if we want to win this."

"Aggressive, yes. Reckless, no."

Anakin's expression softened, and he nodded in agreement. You offered a warm smile in response, wanting to rise from your position on the ground. But before you could, you were pushed back down by the entangled belts, causing your body to collide once again with Anakin's chest. You groaned in frustration, feeling a bit embarrassed for forgetting about the belts in the heat of the moment. Anakin, however, laughed heartily at your clumsy attempt and pulled you close to him, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around you.

"I don't think I mind being stuck like this for a little longer."

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