#surprised at how 3 of 5 r background stuff tbh

[beaxmice]

2 for the artist asks? ✏️

~ @sammys-magical-au

i can never rlly pick favorites properly, because my opinion is always changing abt my art kdjskds

but here's some of the ones i could think of! (that were also fun to make)

[aelianaluan]

AEYA’S BOOK REVIEW #1

LIP READING by Harry Lee Kraus

Genre: Medical Fiction, Romance, Christian Fiction, Thriller, Mystery

RATING: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♡ ♡

This book was very, very, VERY close to being the first book in my did-not-finish-probably-never-will list. Just one more button and I would’ve dropped this. The only saving grace is that I don’t want to leave a book unfinished, and even though I’m afraid of anything blood-related, I still love science!

OKAYYYY so, there are 4 reasons why I almost dropped this book. The main reason was that the Male Lead was confused about his feelings for the 2 bachelorettes and I really didn’t like it because he was kinda giving false hope to the 2 women. It gave me the BIG ICK.

The second reason is about the “kidnapping” scene, when 2 legally aged men trapped or baited 2 minor girls :3. It didn’t really sit well with me especially when one of the girls met one of the boys again and HE TOLD HER TO MEET HIM AFTER 5 YEARS???!!! def deserves a bombastic, criminal offensive side eye

The third reason is the conflict that was presented in the first chapter of the story, in my opinion, was not really resolved properly *sigh* and author presented the resolution of that conflict in JUST ONE PARAGRAPH. For me, that conflict was impactful and is very relevant to the story as it serves the catalyst for the development of the MC and the plot itself but then it was very disappointing that it wasn’t really given an importance :(( tbh the first 2 chapters was the reason that got me hooked so I was really disappointed :(( still a solid story tho!!! :>

I CAN GIVE A PASS for the last reason but it also gave me the Ick. I totally understand why the MC was soooo conscious about her appearance specifically her lips, but I feel like sometimes it was kinda too much but not to the point that she’s a narcissist. There are scenarios where it was unnecessary for her to be conscious of her appearance or that the author shouldn’t have kept on mentioning it because, imo, the author already established the reason why she was self-conscious and I think it was enough :) and for me, the MC is perfect the way she is ♥♥♥ but at the same time, I would like to thank the Mr. Harry Kraus for always mentioning the brands and shades of lipstick the Female MC is using hehe it also helped with the immersion ♥♥♥

Isn’t is surprising that I gave this book 3 hearts?! Even though it got me on my nerves, the book is still pretty solid. This is the first medical fiction book I’ve read and I’m glad it was written by a real medical doctor. No offense to those authors who write medical fiction without any medical background (I know for sure that authors research stuff for the stories they are writing) it’s just that a real medical doctor can write medical fiction better ‘cause they have an on-hand experience with anything medical, y’know what I mean? hehe. THE SAVING GRACE of the book is the main plot or the main topic of the story *SPOILERS* Artificial Blood. The 2 main characters were trying to create artificial blood to lessen or PREVENT the spread of HIV thru blood transfusion. I can feel the motivation, frustration, and the passion of the main character to finish their research so that they can release the artificial blood to the market. The author did very well on showing that guilt is a powerful motivator and in the story, can possibly lead to sacrificing oneself. This is a Christian Fiction but in my opinion, this story also relates with other religion as it shows how one person struggles with their own faith.

Even if I almost dropped this book, I’m still gonna recommend this book. The story and the plot is still pretty solid to me (that’s why I gave it 3 hearts). There are lots of realization in the story that will also make you think about your life choices. You can see the thought process of the characters in this book and it helped me understand why that character made that decision. Sometimes, it might be too detailed but it kinda helps you to relate and to know more about the character and because of this, it helped me to keep reading this book ♥

If you want to grab a copy of this book, here’s the amazon link: https://amzn.to/3nLzwam

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[rigelmejo]

My dudes wasabi Japanese is so cool this site is so cool literally my dream site ToT (thank u @yue-muffin for all those free reading links <3 which is what included wasabi Japanese)

I know what I’m doing after I finish reading Japanese in 30 Hours! (I might keep reading Reading Japanese for fun too just cause... I might as well we will See).

So like curse me if, when I say I will, it makes me not lol. I hope I DO actually do this. Because it sounds so much more clicks-with-me right now than my alternate study plan (which was Nukemarine memrise - which I WILL eventually do ToT I plan it ok, and tae Kim’s grammar guide - which I’m happy to replace with any grammar guide I’ll finish fucking reading tbh).

1. Remembered bilingualmanga exists and I am making no commitments to read anything (tho I have 4 mangas open and an urge to read them for the first time in years since I read yotsuba earlier and followed it). But I will say it’s quite cool I could um read and look words up (ditto for just regular iOS word lookup and Japanese scripts... I’d say ditto for Animelon too and I DO recommend it but I’m just not really an anime watcher).

2. Wasabi Japanese has a: a grammar guide. So my ass is gonna try reading it (in my defense it has audio which I find marginally nicer than the other sources I’ve been looking at... like I literally read Japanese in 30 Hours aloud audio helps me... also why I suspect in part Nukemarine’s decks help they make me listen a lot). https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-grammar/wasabis-online-japanese-grammar-reference/

3. Even better (to me) wasabi Japanese has b. A grammar drills lesson course that has you shadow and practice SENTENCE PATTERNS AND GRAMMAR. I was literally considering buying a Japanese shadowing textbook for just this purpose (but that textbook was random phrases whereas this is targeted sentence patterns). Also I learn best by just fucking seeing sentence patterns so I kind of suspect an activity like this would click with my brain better than actual grammar guide reading (tho grammar guide reading gives me a useful overview of what to start noticing). Like I literally own the book Japanese Sentence Patterns just cause it was the only thing that clicked... Bonuses about this lesson course wasabi Japanese has: it’s me Doing stuff, I learn best just Doing tbh (it’s why just brute force reading clicks well with me lol). And better, Doing stuff in a streamlined way so I can not bumble as long lol and I have reference if I’m confused (Also why I like graded readers). Info: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/how-to-proceed-with-the-instantaneous-composition-method/ The lessons: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-intensive-reading/

4. Wasabi Japanese has lessons through stories, listening reading and shadowing. Phenomenal. Both the perfect chance to test if Listening Reading works some more (which I’m currently into), and to actually DO some things I wanna do like read and practice listening (versus Nukemarines memrise courses which are just flashcards, or playing Japanese video games which is... doable but too draining to be enjoyable or efficient yet). I’m excited. How to use: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/japanese-lessons-how-to-proceed-with-read-aloud-method/ Actual lessons:. https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/fairy-tales-and-short-stories-with-easy-japanese/

5. Assuming you’re better at Japanese than me - wonderfully wasabi Japanese has a course I could use, right after finishing that last one, at a slightly more difficult level, with manga: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-intensive-reading/

6. Alternatively, want a different N3 course that’s radio program based? Here it is: https://www.wasabi-jpn.com/japanese-lessons/materials-for-japanese-lessons-read-aloud-method/ so yeah, wasabi Japanese looks like a quite nice alternative to flashcards or a textbook if a babe just wants to learn from stories with audio for a while ToT

7. Also I am again contemplating the benefit of just playing audio in the background more. Will I do it? I don’t know. I’d love to play SpoonFed Chinese audio, Japaneseaudiolessons, and Japanese core 2k audio on in the background. As it’s all comprehensible input I know I’d mostly pickup if I just heard it enough to Review it (whereas rn I just hear each audio file once ever on a walk then never again cause I have little time for focused audio only listening). But I feel bad when I play them in the bg and don’t fully listen ;-;. Ah the dilemma. Truly though they’d help so much if I played them in the background I know it... as of this month as an experiment since reading The Word Brain, I’ve been listening to SOME Chinese audio more. Specifically Guardians audiobook, a random Chinese hp audiobook, Alice in wonderland audiobook, silent reading audiobook. You would not believe how much it’s been noticeably helping. Usually it’s avenuex’s Guardian audiobook and every time I catch a bit of it casually in the bg while working, I’m blown away I understand clearly what I didn’t the time before. In particular I’m probably having the most improvements in this novels comprehension, since I’m Listen Reading Method with it too. But like... the first time I focused listened to it during L R? I caught everything with difficulty during the only-chinese audio but English text step 3. And then listening alone only caught the main story beats/scenes (which was already a major improvement for me). Now when working I can actually catch the paragraphs about Guo Changcheng’s family, his uncle, going to McDonald’s - these are details I very specifically remember being the ones I could NOT catch doing listening only the first time post L R. So after idk 3-6 listening of this chapter, just listening again in the background (since L R takes too much time I’m lazy I only do L R once), I’ve made this much progress. I only saw the full definition of everything ONCE one time during L R step 3 once. But just listening more I catch more and more. And of course, as I catch more the unclear parts become easier and easier to maybe figure out. All I know is I severely underestimated the benefit of repeated listening - at least when (at one point once) you comprehended the material. So considering this... I think now with hindsight, yes listening to condensed audio of a show or just a show, that you’ve seen before with English subs/dual subs/in target language and looked unknown words up, in the background probably could help. If at one point you comprehended it before. (So for me Guardian cdrama is hella on this list lol). With hindsight yeah, repeated audio of an audiobook chapter or audio drama you followed the target language subs for before, or that you could read but not hear alone, would probably help listening skills. Definitely my audio flashcard files where they’re literally Built to be comprehensible since it’s English then target language each line. So... yeah in hindsight more audio, even background audio, can help. Guarantee when I’m not L R with the guardian audiobook I’m barely even listening. And still I find myself catching parts of it.

8. My roommate got too excited about Final Fantasy 14 and informed me it’s free to play now.. which I didn’t know. So of course I foolishly looked up if I could play it in Japanese on a PlayStation and looks like answer is probably yes and I am sorely tempted...

9. It’s gonna be wild for me looking back on may progress at the end of the month because: I did almost nothing I planned, I got demotivated then intensely motivated, I’ve done a ton ToT, I also did a ton of Japanese immersion which?? I’m not even counting?? I don’t track my Japanese immersion yet because like... it’s not my priority right now. I read a ton of manhua the other day and just forgot to log it. I watched some of the woh concert and just did not count it, I read a surprising amount of Japanese this month for someone “not studying it much” yet (aka maybe more than I read last time I studied Japanese??). I did a lot of L R method I didn’t even track, I did a ton of background listening and I’m not tracking just hoping for the best. Did I finish 小王子 this month or last month? Whatever month that was I read like 4 Chinese books. I just remembered I read like 3 Japanese graded readers but didn’t count them cause they felt too simple to count (only 28 pages each). I watched 10 Cure Dolly Japanese grammar vids tho not sure how much help it is long term. Whatever time I did the Japanese video games had to count for something even tho it was draining af. Anyway my point is just... count on me to not do what I planned but be more productive when I do that. All that said: I’m more productive when I set plans even if they aren’t always followed, so I’ll keep making them lol. I think I just needed to hit that turning point of “do anything you want, just continue to do something” instead of “complete this first!” (Although I’m still aiming to complete things - or at least go for progressively challenging things). I dunno... I want to say I want to consider just trying to finish things imperfectly just finish them (to motivate me to finish my Hanzi books, Japanese books, courses I find). But knowing me.. I have no idea what will get me to keep going. Just need to remember it’s ok to do it imperfectly. Just need to remember to place what I will care about and actually do, as priority over what it is I think “must be fully done.”

[residentraccoon]

Fave 2021 national finals songs

Since I don't have anything better to do with my life at the moment I decided to ramble about stuff. Okay, here are my thoughts about my fave songs from the national finals of 2021, in no particular order!

Norsk Melodi Grand Prix

• Monument was my absolute favourite and I still can't believe to this day that it didn't win :( Keiino are fking fantastic and they killed the stage (though I kind of preffered the black outfits from the 1st heat over the final ones, they suited the song's athmosphere better). I cried real tears when I saw they lost, for real. Heartbreak 💔

• Hero was such a nice throwback to 80s music style, the staging was also really neat. Would love to see Raylee come back next year in the selection, she has a cool stage presence

• Okay but Vi er Norge was a banger and I'm still listening to this one, a real shame it didn't even qualify nor win the 2nd chance round. As you already knew before, I have a weakness for violins because yes. The performance was so energetic and fun, should have def qualified. Underrated.

• Ut av mørket/Fallen angel was really good too. I wanted it to be kept in norwegian for esc but oh well. The stage show was just a tad messy but memorable.

• I can't escape was something I'd hear from Roxen ngl, the style matches her perfectly, even her cursive singing, everything. Either way I loved this one too, this song feels like a hug.

• Pages was so magical, I'm glad we got another joik song, sadly this didn't qualify 😥

• World on fire was kind of generic but puts me in a good mood everytime I listen to it, it's really catchy.

• Let loose is so g r o o v y and cool, it was my fave from the 1st heat when I got to listen to the songs. I'm lowkey happy it advanced to the final instead of Elevate, I'm sorry but I saw everyone praising that one in youtube comments, I never saw the hype, it was too regular and plain for me.

• Own yourself was so cute and funky, loved how it showed her ethnic background a lil with that disco sound.

• Witch woods...ehhh...While it's funny and unique, I think it's suited more for a witch Disney musical than Eurovision. But I like it anyway.

• Faith Bloody Faith oh yes I needed a rock song in this nf. Relieved it won the 2nd chance. Oh and I just realized, the superfinalists in mgp were literally the ones from the 1st heat. Crazy huh?

• Nordlyset is something I'd listen to near a fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate in hands watching the snow fall in my cottage located in a forest far away from civillization. So soothing and beautiful <3

• Eyes wide open was epic just like his 2020 viking schlager song (i prefer his 2020 song over this one but that's another story)

Melodifestivalen

• Little tot was amazing but def not as good as Bulletproof. It's still catchy asf and one of my favs from this selection.

• Dandi Dansa aka a banger, again another catchy song.

• Every minute sounds like a summer hit, it's awesome. It's also the spawner of all those haha eric on a kitchen tile memes I've seen around during that time.

• The world and especially Sweden wasn't ready for the masterpiece called Rena Rama Ding Dong. They should tone down their preference for safe pop songs and choose meme worthy songs like this one in the future tbh. They didn't even qualify, Sweden = coward.

• One Touch is a fun club track, I can see this as a summer hit as well. But her stage show...go girl give us nothing

• In the middle, once again The Mamas delivered.

• And finally Voices, which its nf staging was superior to the esc one. We are so sorry Tusse 😔

Festivali i Këngës

• Zjarri Im a total banger, it wasn't even in the top 5 ffs Era Rusi queen.

• Njësoj has such a nice party vibe, should have qualified.

• Haven't paid any attention to Karma until it won, then I said hey this isn't so bad, it's traditional and ethnic, I can actually see Albania in the final with this.

Dora

• Rijeka was the only one I thought it will win by a landslide and I was surprised it didn't. The staging was a bit too over the top, though

• Tick Tock grew on me after it won and quickly became one of my faves of this year's esc. I'm still sad it didn't qualify 😔

• She's like a dream is super uplifting and also sounds like an 80s song.

• Colors is something I heard a million times before but for some reason I'm jamming to this? Also I heard she's blind, is it true?

Eesti Laul

• Took me a while to have a fave from this nf but after some listens Magus Melanhoolia stole my heart 🧡 it's so different from the others and the staging looked so proffesional.

• Lost in a dance had me d a n c i n, I noticed we had a lot of 80s throwbacks in this nf season, this included. The live was so dissapointing though 😔

• Not so keen on 6 at first but now I absolutely love it, she has such a nice style and the song's athmosphere is so magical.

• Time was amazing, surprised it came 2nd!

• I actually liked The lucky one lmao, I found it much better than his previous entry.

• Heaven's not that far tonight was the party 80s bop we didn't knew we needed

Dansk Melodi Grand Prix

• Probably my biggest letdown of this nf season but I actually managed to like Står lige her, digging the electro 80s (again) sound

• I also liked Øve os på hinanden as well, this one really feels like a legit 80s track rather than a throwback.

• Silver Bullet was interesting as well, it was the early frontrunner when the songs first came out from what I remember.

Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu

• I love you is so wacky and catchy, and in finnish! I'd hear this as a soundtrack in an old video game.

• Dark Side was the definite winner ever since I heard it, and they even got a top 10 finish for Finland for the first time in years! Couldn't be more proud 😭

• Hurt was also one of my favs, Aksel needs to come back to esc, maybe in 2022 methinks 🤔

• Wait what is Laura Põldvere, an estonian singer tm doing in finnish nf? While I liked Play, I knew it wasn't strong enough to win, and she even came last. Do you get any flashbacks from another estonian entry with the same name that came last? 👀

C'est vous qui decidez

• Voila was the clear winner and that's about it, she deserved the win, it's just too beautiful for this world 😭

• Alleluia was an interesting sound of afrobeat, too bad their chances were killed because of messy staging :(

• Amour fou was so catchy and I loved the horse head thing lmao

Pabandom iš naujo

• Discoteque all day any day. The Roop world domination 💛

• Where'd you wanna go is so calming. I listen to this when I'm stressed and it works wonders, this was really beautiful.

• Open is so unique and soothing, a total contrast from her 2014 entry.

• Never fall for you again is a total earworm, even now as I'm writing this...even if I haven't listened to it since February.

Sanremo

• Zitti e Buoni was my instant fave, it simply stood out from the others by a lot.

Festival da Canção

• Por um triz is a beautiful ballad, was my fave.

• Saudade was the early favourite, reminds me of Telemoveis with its weird but artsy style.

Israel NF

• ...I really only liked Set me free tbh.

• La la love had a good potential but I can't not cringe at the corona reference like...ugh. Such a fun party song killed by one lyric, such a shame.

Russia's NF

• Just Russian Woman was the only one who deserved to win.

Spain's NF

• Yeah, they were both good but I liked Voy a Quedarme more.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

[shultzing]

7/29/2018: did i already say how much of an angel this guy is

8/13/2018: i’m so mad that i’m dating someone so much cuter than me. i never intended for this to happen. my type is usually men who are just above average looking, which I was happy with. now, i have to constantly think about how i look bc I know everyone around us has GOT to be thinking like, wtf is that beautiful man doing w/ that scrubby looking twig in the ancient clothes?? and like... he HAS to know. idc so much if other people are wondering how i got w/ him as long as HE isn’t like... damn, i could be doing so much better... anyways kill me, he is too fucking handsome and this birth control is making my skin break out really bad.

8/22/2018: this whole thing about being in a casual relationship is weird and tbh i’m less and less a fan. maybe i need to grow tf up but like, here’s an example. I’m going to a show friday night that’s literally 5 minutes from his house, and i know he’s free friday, and yet i won’t invite him bc i don’t want to see him there bc i don’t want him to be part of my local music world bc then he’ll mean that much more to me and it will be that much harder to feel and act casual. so that feels shitty. and like, i could totally skip the show and just go hang out w/ him, but I know he’s not planning his life around me, so I don’t want to get myself into a frame of mind where i’m sacrificing my stuff to be w/ him, so i make a point to not plan around him and not cancel plans for him. But getting to a point where i actively don’t want him to come to things w/ me is like some kind of accomplishment but also feels like a battle i don’t want to win? like i’m getting too good at it. at first i was like... struggling w/ it and he could probably tell? esp by how much i texted him and what kinds of texts i sent. but now i’m like, i’ve got a handle on it. i’m good. and it makes me sad. like what is the point of a casual relationship? what’s the point of a relationship you barely care about?

8/26/2018: conflict resolution like bosses >:) i know it’s just a beginning but we didn’t ever even get to a point of real conflict, although we were both approaching the subject at hand from wildly different perspectives and pretty high stakes. no insults or even criticisms, just explaining ourselves, being honest, and both quick to apologize. He definitely gets flustered and then gets a lot less precise about what he’s saying but then he’ll circle back to it when he’s had a minute to process/calm down and can fix whatever he mis-explained previously. It’s good to be back to good. 

8/28/2018: first use of a pet name: drunk text -- “Goodnight cutie. Sweet dreams and I’ll talk to you tomorrow <3″

8/31/2018: the way he reacted when i got suddenly skittish/stressed out was a startling moment in a really good way. He stayed so calm/supportive/reassuring. Who knew that was possible? 

9/1/2018: i think we’re becoming friends :’) meeting someone on a dating app, everything is backward bc the romance and skin comes before the friendship/knowing the person/etc so whenever we hang out for long enough to have time to get into decently long conversations and learn about each other or fight over whether william carlos williams is a good poet or not... it’s nice, and more special. Like, oh! that’s who you are?

9/8/2018: the way that relationships evolve is strange. like, a couple of weeks ago, just getting a text from M or not getting a text from him could change my mood and ability to focus so much bc everything was so new and uncertain and both exciting and stressful. now it’s okay either way. we’ve been dating for a little more than 2 months and things are getting to be sort of familiar and comfortable and less of a constant heart attack. the newness is still strange, there’s always some surprise. The other night he came over w/ his hair down and I was like ???? since when do you have hair like a young eddie vedder?? what is this?? but he was just like... yeah, that’s how it is right after i shower. i had no idea. it’s nice to literally get to watch someone slowly learn to trust you. he doesn’t act shy but it’s also easy to tell that he always has his walls up, I definitely have never seen them down yet, and that is okay. but the more comfortable he gets, the warmer he gets, and that’s really sweet. i’m frequently surprised by how competent of a person he is. he goes to the gym, he eats healthy, he’s a good boss, he’s a good student, he’s a good dog-parent etc. he asks questions like, “reading anything good lately?” and also corrected me instantly when I said KDC died in 93. he communicates clearly/gently/honestly. i’m getting to know some of his flaws, too. anyways i was out w/ a friend (allison c.) last night and we were talking about how shitty men are. i told her that the reason i’m w/ M is mainly just to get a chance to date someone who seems like he can prove that men can actually be really good. told her a story about how M reacted whenever i was having a bad moment and she was like, “I literally have goosebumps rn.” it was cute. reminded me not to take him for granted while he’s in my life. hope i’m not.

9/11/2018: M’s coming over tomorrow and i can’t waittttt. We try to see each other twice a week but sometimes it doesn’t happen and then it feels like forever. But now it’s less than 24 hours until i can hold his hands and kiss his face and i’m so ready.

9/13/2018: If this relationship is going to stick for a while... i can’t wait for the stage to come where i actually know him well enough that i’m not always overanalyzing/overreacting to every little cue. like there’s so much i don’t know that i can learn little things and be like WAIT WHAT? and get really stressed about it and i can’t wait for that to be over. how long til there’s an underlying level of trust/knowledge/comfort? 

9/23/2018: Okay so for the most part this relationship is starting to feel normal. It still doesn’t always feel real just because he is so segregated from the rest of my life. No mutual friends. no school to share, no work to share, no volunteering or show circuit. No one else has met him or even really knows what he looks like bc of a lack of recent pictures. I’m slowly getting more confident and comfortable within it, even though i do still second guess myself a lot more than i usually do. I guess i’m used to being fussed over and spoiled. But this isn’t like that at all. We’re both a) adults and b) busy and c) on opposite sides of the city and he’s still pretty reserved so I know I’m like, low-ish on his priorities list. Like i’m ON the list, but somewhere beneath going to the gym and getting a haircut, and about 10 miles below his dog. It’s fine, it’s only been like 3 months. Less than that. ANYWAY we’ve finally graduated out of the just-casual-relationship category and into the normal relationship category. Or, he said he thought we did a month ago, but I didn’t realize that’s what he was saying. So now I can stop filtering everything I say and do through that ever-present, “is this too serious?” lens and just do what makes sense/comes naturally. or something. I’m super excited about that bc that was getting really tiring and unromantic. 

9/30/2018: Uhhh, we went back into a weird “unlabeled” category where like we’re monogamous but nothing else is defined? Which I think is really lame but I also am trying to be patient and not pressure him and stuff. But I still think it’s silly and juvenile and kind of embarrassing. I mean I know he has his reasons and he needs to work through them on his own and at his own pace but for ME, it’s silly. Anyways. Still feels like there’s so much I don’t know about him or how he works or thinks or feels. But he still is always surprising me by just sheer level of sweetness. I feel like that’s always how I walk away, like, idk that guy but he sure has a kind heart. 

10/4/2018: Ok the back and forth stalling on what we’re even doing and all the associated casual dynamics have kinda killed the romance for me. like it’s cool and all but i’m done obsessing over the relationship and probably won’t be updating this anymore bc i really don’t care and continuing to write about it is just trying to make it a bigger deal to me than it really is.

10/19/2018: Nearly 4 months in and it’s still such a roller coaster, my perspective, optimism/pessimism and level of happiness change like every 48 hours. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of breaking up because we’re too different or because we overworked the dynamics of our relationship too much. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of stepping closer because our good days really are good. I’m always surprised by how complicated every little thing is, questioning where my feelings are coming from and whether i’m either getting carried away on good days or paranoid and trust-issues-y on bad days. And there is definitely also a background kind of darkness/heaviness surrounding the fact that the more time goes by, the more i understand that i’m really not even close to being over R. But on Wednesday he and I went to Red Emma’s and then took his dog for a walk and then watched princess bride (both of our favorite childhood movie) and ended up staying up til 5-something in the morning just lying next to each other talking about bullshit. Like it wasn’t staying up all night to work out something serious or anything. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. I remember at some point he started trying to recite post malone lyrics and could not stop laughing for so long. I remember on 9/8 I wrote that i know i’ve never seen him w/ his guard down and i still usually feel like that, but then sometimes lately i think it comes down for a second and it’s always really nice and makes me think it’s worth working/waiting for. It’s understandable that he’d still have a lot of walls up when our relationship has been so rocky and it’s still in the baby stages anyways. I know he must be feeling more and more sure of us bc the way his sister treats me changed distinctly this weekend. Like she was always super nice, but now she treats me like she expects me to be around/expects to and wants to make friends, which is so nice. He’s still incredible when I get triggered. Sometimes I just suddenly can’t anymore and he’s never even hinted at the slightest inkling of being frustrated by that. 

11/4/2018: “do you love me?” “yes. i do love you. its been screaming in my head to say it every time I look at you.” “then why didn’t you get me a seltzer water?” 

11/30/2018: “I’m breaking up with you, and I want to marry you, and I love you.”

---

update: this is going to be a running/updated post for all bullshit things i think about M but should be telling no one and should absolutely not be posting on the internet. 

[timeisacephalopod]

Okay I'm gonna be bad and ask for multiple things😬😬. So your top 5 ice cream flavors Top 5 books you love Top 5 fanfics you love Top 5 OTPs(OT3,OTn) & top 5 songs....😊😍😘

Lol a list of lists. Alright here goes an entirely way too long answer lmao (why must I word so much).

Ice Cream Flavors:

1- Cotton candy (yes, I am an actual child)

2- Butterscotch

3- Mint chip

4- Neapolitan (I know technically its 3 flavors in a bowl but still it counts)

5- Vanilla

Top Five Books:

This one is a bit difficult because I don’t read as much as I used to but I’m going to try and avoid things I haven’t read recently because if I include stuff from my teens I KNOW there’s a good chance I’ll hate it now (hello, House of Night series).

1- The Captive Prince series. Its 3 books but I felt it easier to just lump it in as one. Anyone who looks this up- I warn you that the premise sounds absolutely horrible (to give you a warning it includes slavery). But I got the series recommended by someone I can only describe as someone who looks like she teaches Sunday school and is quite liberal so I thought ok, maybe the premise sounds bad but she said it was a political thriller, I’ll give it a shot. So I did and this series is amazing. Prince’s Gambit is such a great book (the second in the series).

2- Anything by Ellen Hopkins. I know I’m cheating here but I love every single book she’s written. My favs of hers include Burned (the sequel is good but the first is better), Identical (holy fuck that book T H R E W me), and Crank, Glass, and there’s a third in that series I can’t remember but they are all SO good. I lived my rebellious teenage phase through Ellen Hopkin’s characters tbh. She is amazing, please look her up.

3- The Harry Potter series (cheating again, I know). I got to the series later than all my peers (I read it at 18) but I am particularly fond of the 6th book.

4- The Hunger Games series. I absolutely love the world, the premise, and the followthrough. Its been forever since I’ve read them, but I know they’d hold up well to memory.

5- Most anything by Laurie Halse Anderson. Twisted is the one I remember the most and I’ll warn that I haven’t read it since I was 15, which probably means its not as good as I remember or much better than I had been able to perceive at that point in life (this is how I feel about Ellen Hopkins- I noticed more when I was older). Wintergirls is also very good and fucking heartbreaking. 

Honorable Mentions: The Vampire Academy series. I dislike Rose/ Dimitri because I never could believe their relationship, but the worldbuilding, characters, and character arcs are fucking amazing. The sequel series has 2 good books but when I read the third I had to roll my eyes and throw the whole thing out. While Mead is amazing at workdbuilding and plot she should probably never be allowed to write romance. Her attempts are clumsy, sad, and strangely sex obsessed to the point where all characterization is lost even when I actually found the couple to be interesting and dynamic before they got together. But the first series has only background romance so its still fantastic. Someone get Mead a romance lesson, if she gets good at it then her books will be so much better.

Top Five Fanfics:

(Another hard one because I spend more time reading than writing oh no!)

1- From You I Cannot Hide by SailorChibi. Its Steve/ Tony and I cannot recommend it enough. The BDSM, the relationship, the writing itself. SC is one of my fav fanfic authors- very talented and this story in particular is one of my absolute favs (though I don’t read any of the age play stuff, not my thing. Still a v talented author though).

2- Merchant King of War and Woe by blakefancier. Its Steve/ Howard, a guilt pleasure of mine that really does not have enough content. Seriously, why do more people not ship this pairing??

3- Don’t Say It by bibliomaniac. Its Steve/ Tony/ Bucky and features autistic non verbal Tony. Hold f u c k this story was amazing. I read the premise and wasn’t sure about it, but at the time I had much love for Tony/Bucky/Steve so gave it a shot. I am very happy I did because its fucking amazing. Please read it.

4- Bell Tolls by esama. I read this a few days ago but holy Christ what a take on soul mate tropes. I love soul mates, but they do hold a great potential for dystopia that’s not capitalized on much and this story really goes above and beyond there. Its not too long but holy damn is it good.

5- Most anything by blue_jack that I’ve read. Usually I’m not overly fond of sex scenes- they often feel needless and overdone. But there’s an expectation in fanfic to write it and for the life of me my asexual ass cannot figure out how to do it. I’m not squeamish about sex or sex related things so I don’t understand my aversion to writing it. Anyways when I looked up advice on how to write sex one of the things I read was to find an author who writes sex well and note what you like about their writing. blue_jack was the author that I found that writes the most interesting, dynamic, and in character sex scenes I’ve read (with a lot of Steve/ Tony). Seriously- its not all ‘insert A tab in B slot’, its focused a lot on character thought as well. This is the kind of sex scene I aspire to write because A- it feels more natural and B- blue_jack is just really good. Like r e a l l y good. Read their things! 

Top Five OTPs:

1- IronPanther who is surprised lmao, no one given the sheer amount of content I write for them.

2- WinterIron. Again I’m sure no one is surprised.

3- IronStrange/ IronQuill pretty much equally

4- Tony/ Rhodey though I should write more of it

5- and, because I feel compelled to write one pairing that’s not an MCU pairing Damen/ Laurent from the Captive Prince series. Their relationship is a fucking RIDE.

Honorable mentions: Tony and literally every marvel character I haven’t mentioned minus like… Thanos and Pepper (no hate to Pep- I just don’t see the romance at all, and it was so hamfisted into the MCU basically only for the purposes of heterosexuality. Pepper deserves better, preferably Natasha tbh, and Tony obviously belongs with like Rhodey or something). Tony/Bucky/ T’Challa is an interesting pairing I want to explore more as well. Tony/Bucky/ Steve is another long standing pairing I like. Sam/ Bucky or Sam/Steve too- I love Sam with either character, but not both at the same time. Sam/ Rhodey is also very cute, as well as Sam/ T’Challa. Hope/ Rhodey is another unexpected preference of mine that I’ve included in a few things. I ship like 95% of the MCU with itself minus pretty much any canon pairing (as IF Hope would ever date Scott- she’s way too competent for him. She should be with Pepper or something, or literally anyone but Scott or Tony tbh).

Extra Bonus Points to all my BroTPs that are too long to list, but also basically consists of the MCU with itself tbh. 

Top Five Songs:

1- Gamekeeper by Jessie Reyez. Its fucking amazing.

2- Colors by Halsey. (Also Gasoline)

3- Mz Hyde by Halestorm

4- Hit and Run by LoLo

5- The World is Ugly by My Chemical Romance (among a lot of others).

Honorable mentions: Fall Out Boy’s last 3 albums. They got some bangers ok.

[notatypicaldimension]

Tagged!

Thanks for tagging me @theragamuffininitiative ! 

I tag @hurtbyintensejourneys @thylovelylionheart @falconhawk9​ 

— what was your last…

1. drink: tea!

2. phone call: my mom.

3. text message: to a group chat with friends 

4. song you listened to: “Meltdown” by Lorde, Q-Tip, Push, HAIM, Stromae

5. time you cried: uuuhhh I think it was a couple of days ago, when I was just trying to get out of some pretty bad states and actually felt OK enough to cry so it was a good thing! 

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: No.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: No.

8. been cheated on: No.

9. lost someone special: Sorta....if the term is used quite broadly.

10. been depressed: Haha. Yes. Ofc. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Niet. 

— fave colours

12. Purple, or gray/black scale probably. 

13. I actually quite like brown....so maybe that? 

14. Hm. Probably a deep navy? Like a sailor outfit blue? 

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yes. Absolutely. 

16. fallen out of love: No. 

17. laughed until you cried: lol yes (thank you to theinsanereader for your book wedding video)

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes! 

19. met someone who changed you: Hahahahah...yeeeesss. Helped me a lot tbh. 

20. found out who your friends are: In a way. Like it’s not that I didn’t know before, it’s more like now I understand it better in terms of human leanings etc. 

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Uuuhhhhh....no, not on the lips.

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Nearly everyone, there are a few I only know via the internet somehow, but I still know them from everyday things, or I have already met them.

23. do you have any pets: Nope!

24. do you want to change your name: No. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Oh boy. It was a weird day but good. I spent time with a cute lil kiddo, went on a walk and saw lots of flowers, watched an episode of doctor who, went out for starbucks with a friend, and got to hold a baby amongst some other more ritualistic things. 

26. what time did you wake up today: like, 10:30 or so. 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably just listening to music and...um...maybe writing down in my diary or something?? idek.

28. what is something you can’t wait for: Hmm...this is gonna sound lame but fr I have very little social life so seeing a couple of friends once their schooltime frees up a bit more or whatever....oh! and also my little sister is competing this weekend o I can’t wait to go and watch her and her team :)

30. what are you listening to right now: Static, for the most part, and in the muffled background, my family just doing everyday things (lil screeches, telling offs, whAT?! etc.) lol. 

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: For sure. 

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: HA. The government, and some approaches that the American Evangelical Church seems to be oblivious to or non-sympathetic smh. 

33. most visited website: “Youtube and Tumblr are probably about equal.” (lol same)

34. hair colour: Brown. 

35. long or short hair: Long..

36. do you have a crush on someone: No... at least I don’t think so. Idek if I get crushes or whatever idek it’s confusing moving on

37. what do you like about yourself: Ooh. I like that the single most re-occuring obstacle in my life is that I’m so confusing to both myself (im still learning its ok to be me) and the entire world that it’s very, VERY conflicting in odd ways and that that is what makes everything mean things to me.....it’s like my essence etc. and I now know my main passion etc......tl;dr I like that I’ve figured out what the single epitome of most of what I am is and how its path has severely been distraught, and that though it’s going to take a lot of work to get back, it’s also just going to be the most incredible thing. 

38. want any piercings: nope.

39. blood type: sis, if y’all think I’m gonna put out vip information like that on this already crackhead-justice owned website by same-type  company like yahoo, y’all are w r o n g.  

40. nicknames: Uuuuhhhh. idk. @hurtbyintensejourneys​ , you should give me one. 

41. relationship status: Single. And probably most definitely not ready to mingle (but it’s ok! I’ll be someday, sometime soon...ish)

42. sign: Taurus. But I don’t follow horoscopes. 

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: Idek anymore....I love Lie to me, and like rags said, Fringe (tho I am still on like s2 aahh), and maybe Doctor who? I actually love Granite flats and GMW/BMW as well tho. 

45. tattoos: Nope.

46. right or left handed: Right-handed. 

47. ever had surgery: Nope. 

48. piercings: No.

49. sport: Alrighty; look, I will watch just about anything even though I’m bad at it....I think it has something to do with an interest in developing my recognizing of stuff/talent???? also it’s v cool. 

50. vacation: uuuhhh????? Probably my last “”vacation”” was in California? idek. 

51. trainers: I think they’re Nike. 

— more general

52. eating: I just want some sushi right now. The good stuff tho. NOt the *shudders* doobly-tasting kind. I love Asian food that’s not spicy tho. That’s some real bod-foodspiration right there for me.

53. drinking: Water, tea, juice that’s actually juice...... fresh smoothies. 

54. I’m about to watch: probably just safe-feeling trailers for me, so like, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl or something. 

55. waiting for: My mental health/processing desire to buffen up a little so I can actually start doing things again maybe (that’d be nice). Perseverance, basically, I guess.

56. want: Soundproof area maybe, to record //things//? A small local group of friends. 

57. get married: At some point, maybe. I’d not be surprised if I end up single tho. BUt I feel like I won’t which is....honestly.....sorta scarier for me rn dfhbjdhsbjdf

58. career: lol. idk. God’s plan? 

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes, I think.

61. shorter or taller: taller

62. older or younger: depends

63. nice arms or stomach: niCe ArmS oR SToMacH? (bruh idk)

64. hookup or relationships: relationships is the only way to go, and not only in romance my friends. 

65. troublemaker or hesitant: Uuuhhh....hesitant. but you know what...imma pretend I come off as, like, a fine brand so. Hésitante. 

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: No lol. 

67. drank hard liquor: No. Thank GOD. 

68. turned someone down: Only one (1) time. Sorta. 

69. sex on first date: N o. 

70: broken someone’s heart: I actually don’t know. I don’t think so. I hope not. 

71. had your heart broken: Not like that, but also yes. At least a little. It’s sorta like having to go back and unstitch a stitch of yourself that’s all messed up; you thought you’d be ok with moving on from it, except ways further along you realise that you can’t and then having to go undo everything and start back up but even then your thread is all folded up and a little extra rugged. 

72. been arrested: No. 

73. cried when someone died: I want to say yes. But I actually am not sure. For sure, in fictional chracters so....(dad from my big fat greek wedding voice) there you go

74. fallen for a friend: No....I don’t think so. 

— do you believe in

75. yourself: Sorta. But inherently? yes. 

76. miracles: !!!! yes! If y’all knew some of the stories I’ve known....I love God so much I can’t even. It’s so marvelous. I just....Ah!

77. love at first sight: Yes, but only because I think it’s like some weird intuitive thing that’s legitimate for some people. Or maybe even a spiritual thing sometimes? 

78. santa claus: “He exists in every way that counts.” 😂 looolll

79. angels: Yes. Again, if y’all knew...

— misc

80. eye colour: brown

81. best friend’s name: I don’t have a best friend rn. 

82. favourite movie: Idk. 

83. favourite actor: Idk!

84. favourite cartoon: *Idk intensifies*

85. favourite teacher’s name: Not gonna say any specific names, but probably my German teacher in middle school, or 5th grade teacher. Also, non-official teacher friend man who taught me abstract concepts way beyond my grade level. I love them so much and they continue to have a very important impact in my life voyage. 

[betelguwuse]

So I just finished VHS and I absolutely loved it. One of the shorts was a bit lacking to me, but even that one was enjoyable to watch. The only big criticism I have is that like at least half the shorts showed a lot of unnecessary tiddy (the only one that didn’t feel totally unnecessary was the one where the whole plot is dudes tryin to make porn) but I mean it’s found footage and I get that irl people do show off to each other on video calls and yknow,, porn. So I can let it slide but I’m not gonna enjoy it lol. Also this goes for most found footage I’ve seen, but sometimes it’s really hard to make out who’s who and what’s going on. But overall it was really good.

There were a few comments (I watched it on shudder lol) calling the movie misogynistic, which I don’t get? I mean unless they were talking about the tiddy issue, but even that I don’t think was meant to be framed as a good thing.

Like the movie is 5 shorts in between breaks of an ongoing story of some dudes breaking into a house. They’re trying to steal some tapes, and what’s on them is the bunch of shorts we’re shown. So the overarching story of the guys in the house has nothing to do with women, except one scene where they gang up on and try to strip a woman in a parking lot, which I’m pretty sure is clearly meant to be a bad thing? I mean throughout the movie we’re shown that these guys are assholes (filming harassment of women for money, excessively saying slurs, breaking into a house for more tapes that could get them money). Yeah the characters are misogynistic from what we can tell, but that doesn’t mean the movie or director is condoning their actions.

Ok onto the actual shorts (I don’t know what any were called but I’m pretty sure theyre all in order in my head lol). I want to pick out whether the individual shorts were misogynistic at all (because I have literally nothing else to do) so for that I might have to spoil. Any spoilers will be crossed out so they’re at least a bit harder to read. And like, I’m no expert in feminism (I don’t consider myself one, but I’m not exactly anti either) but being a person with a brain and opinions I’m going to talk about it.

1: This was the only one I had any previous knowledge of going in, and I was absolutely terrified of watching this whole movie because of the jumpscare and bits of creepiness I’d seen lol. So it’s about this group of guys who are trying to make some porn, so they pick up some girls, take them clubbing, and then go to a hotel to smash. Without spoilers, one of the girls acts really really friccin creepy and I think this one scared me the most overall, even knowing the basics of what would happen. Honestly I’m surprised the internet hasn’t turned her into a meme or waifu like some people did with Momo lol. I for one really want to draw her now (but also I’m terrified of looking up reference photos 👊😔). I think I read that they made a full movie-length version of this story but I could be wrong.

Spoilers: So what happens is this creepy girl is some kind of monster who lures men in to have sex with her, so she can eat them and rip their dicks off and all that fun shit. So like a siren, but on land? Honestly I don’t even know if it’s accurate to say she lures them in, because she really didn’t do anything, the guys kinda just found her and decided to use her? Also I think she had wings?? But again, handheld camera, hard to see everything. I think that what makes this one is that while she is creepy, she doesn’t really seem dangerous, or even like she wants to be there at all. Like when the guys give her and another girl drugs, the other girl seems ok with it, but it seemed to bother the creepy girl a bit. She had this innocent vibe to her that just makes her even more creepy. And then it’s even more shocking when she starts eating these bois. So yeah I don’t think this one was misogynistic at all. The male characters just wanted to exploit her and profit from her body, and she didn’t say no but she didn’t say yes either, which is pretty interesting to see. It’s not like she tricked the guys because she never actually consented to sex. All I remember her saying was “I like you” a few times. 10/10 we love a lady who eats her attempted rapists.

2: This is the one I wasn’t entirely satisfied with, but it was very good and enjoyable nonetheless. It’s about this couple on a road trip in,, I wanna say Arizona? I’m Canadian, I’ve never heard of a state in my life. So anyway they’re at a hotel in the middle of the desert, there are a few parts that were pretty creepy but didn’t actually mean anything in the story, like there was this fortune telling machine that I thought would be something supernatural, and a scene where they’re climbing around a canyon which was just generally anxiety inducing lol. But what the story is actually about is that someone is stalking them. This one I can discuss the misogyny levels without spoilers. There’s one bit where the guy is trying to get the girl to take off her shirt, and she says only if you turn the camera off. Which he doesn’t, and after a little argument he finally accepts the no. So like, dick move, but only a tiny part of the story.

Spoilers: there are some creepy scenes of the stalker recording them both while they sleep, and stealing their money and stuff, and then later stabs the guy in the neck. But then it’s revealed that the stalker is actually two people and they film themselves making out in the bathroom mirror. I couldn’t tell if it was a guy/girl or two girls, and since it was that hard to see their faces it just occurred to me that one of them might’ve actually been the gf? Like we didn’t see what happens to her after, and it’d definitely be a more satisfying ending for her to have betrayed her bf and not just some rando stalkers. Hm. Still unclear but good.

3: This one was really fun, it’s these 4 college aged friends who take a trip to the woods, it’s pretty tropey like cabin in the woods, there’s the final girl, the slut, the nerd, and the popular jockish dude. Which I’m pretty sure was on purpose since it’s kind of a slasher. Otherwise I’d be a bit more critical of the ‘slut’ character who Literally Never Shuts Up About Sex in this short lol. But I think that was meant to be a comedic choice. Idk. Other than that, no issue. So basically final girl has kinda organized this whole trip but she starts acting weird and saying creepy stuff about things that had happened in the forest. This one really felt like a creepypasta, but like the best kind. I really love what they did with the bad guy. I really don’t want to spoil this one, so don’t read the spoilers unless you’re sure you’ll never watch it. It’s great.

Spoilers: So the twist is that final girl had been here before with her friends and was the only survivor of a massacre by some monster in the woods. So now by taking these new people on the trip she’s trying to lure the monster out using them as bait, because nobody believed her after the last trip when she told people it wasn’t human. So we get a bunch of cool deaths, and that sweet sweet betrayal. I was kinda surprised by how much they lingered on some of the gore but that’s not really an issue for me. It did suck to see the main girl die, but I mean it’s found footage not ‘I killed a monster and totally got away, here watch’ footage.

4: This one was actually really cool in terms of like ~feminism~ or whatever. I mean it doesn’t even have to be read as some kind of feminist theme, but that was just the vibe I got. I really don’t think I can go into detail on those themes without spoilers, but the basic premise is that this girl is video chatting her bf (who’s away for school or something) and she’s worried that there are ghosts in her apartment. There’s a neat backstory about something similar happening to her when the guy was away during her childhood, like weird bruises and other injuries she doesn’t remember, so it definitely keeps you interested. Also another one I reeeally don’t want to spoil because the twist is so cool.

Spoilers: So the truth is the guy actually was nearby the whole time (possibly in her place because he rushes in the room pretty quickly when she’s attacked), and it turns out that it’s not ghosts, but aliens, and the bf is using the gf to put trackers and alien babies in her, and tricking her into thinking she just got in some weird accident and forgot, which leads her to get misdiagnosed with something like schizophrenia. I mean it’s a perfect metaphor for gaslighting (he’s not hurting me, I’m just crazy), and while that’s not an exclusively feminist theme by any means (both genders are capable of abuse, and both genders are capable of being victims!) it being a theme here shows that this short is absolutely not misogynistic at all. Honestly I’m surprised I haven’t seen more people talk about this one. It’s really really great in terms of the plot, twists, and underlying themes my dumb brain came up with.

5: This one is really really cool, at first I was a little bored with it, but then you’re kinda like hm what’s going on, and then you’re like oh okay that’s going on. Coolcoolcool. So basically these 4 dudes are going to a Halloween party and they’re kinda lost, and they end up at this huge house, so they go in and it’s empty but really big and creepy so they’re like ‘maybe we’re early, or it’s more of a haunted house than a party’ stuff like that, so a bit of it is just the guys exploring the house and vaguely creepy stuff happening in the background. I’m just gonna leave it at that because like, it’s not exactly a twist but it is really unexpected.

Spoilers: So they hear people talking upstairs in the attic and they’re like ‘o nice we found the party’ but no it’s a literal cult chanting and beating up this girl they have tied up. The cult leader is like ‘wtf get outta here’ and the guys kinda get chased away, but one dumbass just had to be like ‘no man we gotta save her’ (king tbh. ur sacrifice will be remembered) so they all go back up there, beat up the cult guys, and get the girl out of there. But that’s when the really creepy stuff happens in the house, like dishes throw themselves at the guys and arms reach out of the walls (I’d actually seen this bit before in a try not to be scared compilation, but I didn’t know what it was from lol) but they do get out and into their car. But then the girl just disappears and the car stops working, and then they see her out the window and she looks kinda demony, and oop their car is stopped on a train track aaa. This one I’m kinda torn on, like about the misogyny thing, because yeah having the only female in the cast being a demon and justifying the cult’s treatment of her is iffy, but at the same time...dude she’s literally a demon, I’d be chaining her up too lol. So yeah I’m definitely leaning toward the not misogynistic side.

Overall I don’t see this movie as that misogynistic at all, and it’s otherwise just a really really good time. Definitely recommend.

[sgtbuckyybarnes]

1-25 thanks (i either send one or all of them there is no in between)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

All. Of. Them D:

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Probably my old One Direction fics because they were terrible

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Chronological! I have started writing some of the bits I’m looking forward to when I’m feeling a little bleh about writing, y’know when you know you need to get to a place but you don’t know how to get there? That’s when I just write the bit I want to write

4) favorite character you’ve written

Answered :)

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Answered :)

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

There is SO much in Bulletproof I wish I could go back and change but I think it’ll end up being an effort…I know technically I can do that seeing as you are the only person that has read it but e f f o r t

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

People know I write but I’m always reluctant to talk about my ideas or my OCs because I feel like my ideas suck or I’m bothering people

8) favorite genre to write

Idk I’m enjoying writing the actiony, mystery stuff I’m writing for As I Was mixed in with the romancey shit

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Listen to music or, if I want inspo for an OC insert, I’ll watch Riverdale (for Noe) or Marvel movies (for Harper) etc

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

Always with background noise, I physically can’t be in total silence unless I’m sleeping

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Probably descriptions? Idk that’s what I’ve tried to work on idk if it’s happened haha

12) your weaknesses as an author

All of it?

Planning and knowing what’s going to happen when, I don’t think I could ever foreshadow things because I have ideas last minute and am like “I’ll get that in somehow!!!” D:

13) your strengths as an author

None of it?

Idk probably how much I love doing it, even when I have to take breaks or feel down about my writing I know I’ll come back to it because I just enjoy doing it so much and I hope that shows

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

No you’re the one who’s good with stuff like that haha!

15) why did you start writing?

Answered :)

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Probably Ava because am I ever gunna write her story? No

Is she mad at me for it? Hell yes

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Just keep going and don’t be scared to share your stuff

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Paige Toon books, they help me with the more romance side of things because other than those I’m more into murder and crime fiction!

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I don’t? I have notes in my phone, notes on my google docs, notes in notebooks and a big mess of thoughts in my head haha!

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It depends on the day but usually little spurts

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Sometimes I hate it sometimes I’m like “this isn’t so bad!”, most of the time I’m like “Why did you stop there????”

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Answered :)

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

My obscure life experiences probably hinder more than help tbh they’re why I’m so cynical about love D:

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I’ve tried! I usually end up researching so much into stuff and end up not even using it in the fic…

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

omg uhm, probably something from September First but I don’t know which bit and can’t think off the top of my head

[nothingbutparticles]

ALL THE QUESTIONS and for number 35: are u a good sports player and also r u a good dancer

I LOVE YOU MOJITO. Gonna do it under a read more tho (lol sorry mobile users)

1 - Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Wow that’s a heavy start tbh. Actually though, I do have some nihilistic views on reality and often find my mind wandering to thoughts like, “If we don’t remember anything from before we were born, will that be the same when we die? What happens to our thoughts, our experiences? Did we exist before we physically did at all?” Being someone who has a theory on reincarnation which I will not go into much detail on, I do comfort myself with some answers, but sometimes! Yeah, I start thinking perhaps life is indeed but a dream and everything is fabricated. So, tl;dr, yes.

2 - On a scale of 1 to 5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Negative ten. (Ok it depends on the situation I guess, but I will often walk around in unknown places with my eyes closed, even, bc I fall asleep walking sometimes so... I am really not)

3 - The person you would never want to meet?

Donald Trump idfk I also never wanna run into Judy again

4 - What is your favourite word?

Your name ok but I have a few! Some include incommodious, conundrum, ambiguity, ambivalence and pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

5 - If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I guess I do admire blackthorn trees a lot?

6 - When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I have not yet looked in a mirror today but I did put on my webcam at one point to look at my cat behind me to see what he was dong without disturbing him and I saw myself and thought “man I need to stop picking that scab on my eyebrow”

7 - What shirt are you wearing?

Man I wish I was wearing something not PJs aw heck... Well, I am wearing my extremely large like 6-sizes-too-big t-shirt made to look like a shark is tearing out of it and my Graphic Design school hoodie on top :v

8 - What do you label yourself as?

Uh? I do not understand this one too well but um. A loser?? Unless we mean identity? Agender??

9 - Bright room or dark room?

Somewhere in between is ideal because I’m quite photosensitive so! Too bright a room will hurt my eyes but too dark a room and screens will hurt my eyes....

10 - What were you doing at midnight last night?

Talking to you!!! And RPing! With you!

11 - Favourite age you’ve been so far?

I guess I really enjoyed 18 and 19... Lots of changes, mostly for the better, met most of my best of best friends around then, and just looking back there was a sort of... just really neat feel to those years.

12 - Who told you they loved you last?

My uncle in a response to my birthday text to him like an hour ago

13 - Your worst enemy?

Myself OOOHH DEEP but fucking true sorry for the edge :V But ok if I wanna not sound like a 2007 tween, I guess Judy

14 - What is your current desktop picture?

Depends what computer we’re talking. My old laptop/media centre still has a FE:A background that I set on it years back (it barely gets touched), my iMac has a pic of a spectacled bear (I set it while I was still frequently screen sharing with my illustration clients so I kept it to Something Professional and besides spectacled bears are fucking great) aaand my macbook still has the BG I set on it like a year ago when I got it because honestly I am just so bad at changing desktop images because I do not tend to care about them since I look at my desktop BG for maybe 3 seconds a month.

I mean it’s a good picture tho

15 - Do you like someone?

Yeah ;w; ...

16 - The last song you listened to?

I am still listening to Digitalism thanks 2 you IT IS GOOD STUFF MAN and ironically enough 2 Hearts is actually the song that just finished... I swear I am listening to other songs tho LMAO

17 - You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who do you pick to blow up?

Donald Trump lmfao or myself

18 - Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Judy

19 - If anyone could be your slave for a day who would you pick and what would they do?

UMMM I’d rather not have a slave actually LMAO if anything I’d like to be the slave I mean what HAh

20 - What is your best physical attribute?

I guess it’s a tie between being VERY SOFT, having a really really pretty eye colour, and my gUNS

pew pew

21 - If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Likely look p similar bc I am pretty androgynous I like to think, maybe a bit more angular?? And I’d likely have stubble bc I love that shit. I’d just carry out my day like normal though honestly (ok I’d fucking jerk off at least once but)

22 - Do you have a secret talent? What is it?

I am a fucking pro at whistling and also apparently a decent singer

23 - What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I have scopophobia there’s that

24 - You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient is at your disposal

PB, jam and old cheddar

25 - You found $100 !! How are you going to spend it?

Probably on a dinner out with Booty and Em and Cyn

26 - You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world but you have to leave immediately, where are you going?

Knock knock I am at ur door

27 - An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Canadian rye whiskey that was a long question for something so easy

28 - You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Aw hell idk I am no good at leadership the first thing I’d do is hold an election among my friends for a different leader lmfao

29 - What is your favourite expletive?

30 - Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Probably my bag? Like it has all my ID and money and stuff. Usually my DS and games too and some deodorant that’s important.

31 - You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Judy

32 - You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

This question is null because time travel is a thing I do not like to ever consider. But then the ending has nothing to do with the start?? Anyway knock knock I am at ur door again

33 - The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

S’mores and make him immortal please

34 - What was your last dream about?

I forgot

35 - “are u a good sports player and also r u a good dancer”

No and no

36 - Have you ever been admitted tot he hospital?

Not for anything long-term no. Been to hospitals on several occasions but never for a stay.

37 - Have you ever built a snowman?

Of course I have I live in Canada

38 - Colour of your socks?

Invisible

39 - What type of music do you like?

Alt rock mostly!! A lot of indie stuff too. I like some electronic as well!! Basically anything with a good beat. Moody/poetic lyrics make my life too. Pair those together (gimme them drummmms) and I’ll have a new fave band. (See Amber Run, Barcelona and Nothing But Thieves for a few good examples of Shit I Cannot Get Enough Of)

40 - Sunrises or sunsets?

Sunset!

41 - Favourite milkshake flavour?

Milkshakes make me sick but I guess strawberry

42 - What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

That one team that does the thing and scores the ball

43 - Any scars?

My knees are peppered with scars from the bus accident still, I have a little nick in my forehead from when it got split by a gym door, and I have tons of tiny pet scratch scars all over my hands and arms lmao

44 - What do you want to be when you graduate?

I already did that, both high school and college (twice) so um

anyway I am not even what I went to college for oops

45 - If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My sex probably. I am very comfortably agender but would prefer to reside in a male shell...

46 - Are you reliable?

I do my best to be!

47 - If you could ask your future self anything, what would it be?

“Are we happy?”

48 - Do you hold grudges?

Sadly yeah LMAO but I back-burner them very easily. I can seem and act perfectly fine with someone who has hurt me but honestly there’s a 99% chance in the back of my head I am picturing great misfortune on them

49 - If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Bears and cows. Listen man. Imagine it as a mount.

50 - What is the most unusual conversation you have ever had?

This is actually literally impossible to answer bc I have a lot of really really weird convos lmao but um... I guess honestly like... any time I have had a normal and professional convo is unusual then??

51 - Are you a good liar?

Oh, very.

52 - How long could you go without talking?

Not long actually. I often even talk to myself, so yeah maybe a few hours tops.

53 - What has been your worst haircut/style?

When I was like age 10 until age 15 I pretty much just let my hair lay. Middle-part, barely even cleaned/kept. Just, flat, greasy, middle-parted, no bangs. I actually also had it loosely tied back for a lot of that. I cringe to remember. It was down to my waist and just soPLAIN and BAD LOOKING

54 - Ever baked your own cake?

Plenty of times

55 - Can you do any accents other than your own?

I don’t even have an accent I have the typical, flat central north american nothingness accent. I can try to do accents but I am bad at them and they are usually pretty generalized bc like there are! So many! Accents! (Mojito pls teach me the Yorkshire Ways)

56 - What do you like on your toast?

I have two faves!! Either ricotta cheese with jam/red pepper jelly, or PB and cheese or jam or honey.

57 - Last thing you dew a picture of?

An RP response 8) ;;; I do not know.... what my last full drawing was. Aw man I need to draw more.

58 - Dream car?

Chevy Avalanche in matte black with turquoise accents LMAO nice

59 - Do you sing in the shower, or do anything else unusual in the shower?

Yes I do!! All the time lmao. And um. Yes I do... other thing s . .

60 - Do you believe in aliens?

Of fucking course I do anyone who denies them is denying science itself tbh

61 - Do you often read your horoscope?

Mostly just for fun but yes

62 - Favourite letter of the alphabet?

J

63 - Dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons probably sorry dinos

64 - Babies?

Fucking nope hate hate the sounds hate the staring hate the.... fragility... smell... no thanks 8) ;;;

65 - Freebie ask anything but u didn’t so anyway I’ll fill in for you “Is Mojito Amazing?”

Yeah he is!!! He’s great!! I love him!!!

[come-survey-with-me-blog]

3

1 - Who was the last person you texted? my dad

2 - When is your birthday? 14th november

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? probably tia - one of my best friends and colleagues from work

4 - What sports do you play? horse riding, that’s about it

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? my old friend lucy anson, i know her from high school

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? mess is mine by vance joy

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? probably one of my best friends imogen cos she knows what to do in every situation

8 - What do you feel right now? very sleepy, also dreading work tomorrow

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? hmmm, probably milka

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? never been in a proper relationship

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? my first tumblr account was in 2012 and it was cos all of my other online friends made one

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? i don’t have one

13 - Where do you want to be right now? back in leeds with all my uni friends

14 - What do you want to be in the future? i would love to teach psychology in a high school

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? on friday (2 days ago) out of anger because of my work colleague

16 - Are you happy? yes. very much so because for the first time in a while i feel like i have people who i love and who love me

17 - Who do you miss? i probably miss owain (my best friend) the most, because out of all my uni friends over these holidays we’ve talked the least cos he’s an awkward sod

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? i’d like to have a life without mental illness, just with all the same people

19 - What was the best thing you were given? as deep as this is, probably a second chance at life. i nearly died once when i tried to kill myself. but i didn’t and i’ve never been more grateful

20 - Who was the last person who called you? my friend from uni tori

21 - What is your favorite dish? mac and cheese no competition

22 - Who is your bestfriend? my best friend is probably owain, i met him at uni and currently live with him. he’s a wanker, but i love him.

23 - What is your biggest regret? probably letting my anxiety overtake me and not doing things that i’ve wanted to do in the moment

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? never had a proper relationship

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? hahaha all of my uni friends and my work colleagues a lot of the time because of the amount of wankers we have to deal with

26 - Name someone pretty. every one of my friends

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? tia, someone who i class as a mother figure

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? a lot of indie/alternative shit, but i also listen to a lot of old classics haha

29 - Are you over your past? no. i’m recovering from it, but it will always be a part of me and i’m glad that it is.

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? my friend lucy from uni

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? someone caring and kind, who will look after me but i can also laugh with. someone who does the little things like forehead kisses. someone who can love me despite everything that goes on in my life. i guess i am a romantic, as much as i say i am not.

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? yes, sometimes. i have a lot of nightmares.

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? my dad

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? jeans definitely

35 - How’s your heart? fine?

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? never been in a proper relationship

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? yes. no more details though, just in case someone i know happens to find this.

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? never been in a proper relationship

39 - Do you have any phobias? i have diagnosed emetophobia, which is an extreme fear of vomit. i can vomit myself but other peoples’ gives me panic attacks

40 - Did you try to change for a person? no, never.

41 - What’s the nicest thing you have given to someone? just little things really, that show my appreciation for the person. i can’t really name one specific thing.

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? never been in a proper relationship.

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? neutral right now. i’m pretty tired.

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. at the moment, all of my friends from uni.

45 - Describe your dream date. ugh, i hate stuff like this. probably a really nice picnic on a warm quiet evening, with lots of comfy blankets.

46 - Describe your dream wedding. ffs. in a nice rustic building probably, with mess is mine by vance joy playing in the background.

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? none.

48 - Have you ever been kissed? of course.

49 - How long is your longest relationship? never been in a proper relationship

50 - Do you regret your past? not at all.

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? yes. it’s something i’ve always done haha

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? of course, many times.

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? hahaha my boss and my old best friend, hafsah. also probably a couple of the girls who i live with currently

54 - Are you a crybaby? yes hahahaha

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? sometimes

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? yeah, twice. again, no more details

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? hahah of course, main one is smoking

58 - Do you like getting hurt? why would anyone?? of course not??

59 - Does anyone hate you? wouldn’t surprise me, so probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? no.

61 - What hair color do you prefer? dark brown

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? probably the amount i focus on my insecurities

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? i actually don’t know if i would class it as love. i just don’t know. i’m confused,,

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? yes.

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? nah, i don’t even go to school anymore

66 - Can you live without internet? you know what, probably not

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? i don’t have a special someone

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? no i’m the worst at it

69 - Are you a crybaby? yes.

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? hahah yes, if i haven’t had enough sleep.

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? no

72 - Do you study hard? no LOL

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? mainly my own self-care, tbh

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? yes.

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? yes, but i hated it because i get sea sick

76 - Did you have an accident last year? i had many accidents considering my knee is an absolute mess and can go at any moment

77 - What kind of person are you? determined, yet insecure. i’m also very loyal, as long as i care about you. however, if you’re awful to me or anyone i care about i can be the most cold-hearted and blunt bitch you will ever meet

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? no

79 - Have you ever been jealous? all the time

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? doing little things for them without them asking you

81 - What are you thinking right now? i want to go to sleep, i have work tomorrow

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? my old friend courtney from high school. she lives in the us now.

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? probably a few bad ones from when i was in hospital.

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? yeah.

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? hahaha YES, at least im honest.

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? i’ve had many.

87 - Do you have trust issues? yeah. i tend to either overshare or not trust people at all.

88 - Are you broken-hearted? nah

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? -

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? yes, because it makes you into a stronger person

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? not in all situations. i think you have to work for things at times.

92 - Who do you want to marry? seriously???? im 19 all i am thinking about right now is what food i am gonna eat in the morning

93 - Do you believe in destiny? no.

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? nah

95 - How do you look right now? like death with bags under my eyes

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? no

97 - Have you found your true love? who knows

98 - What should you be doing right now? probably sleeping, considering im working tomorrow and is 3:30am

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. i haven’t been in a proper relationship

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? all the time