#surgeon calum hood

[wiiildflowerrr]

Doctors skit shown at the 5SOS Show in Buenos Aires, 19 July 2023. 🩺👨‍⚕️

📹 MTV Sur

[itisannak]

Dr. Angel Face Prequel, Part 8: First Fight to First Anniversary (Calum Hood Smut)

Summary: Calum and (Y/N) have their first fight ever. After bouncing back from it, they celebrate their anniversary and exchange the most thoughtful gifts This is an NSFW story. If you feel uncomfortable reading contents of this type, please, scroll through the chapters to find something you might like. (Smut / Fingering / Public Sex / Risky Sex) (Words: 6.3k) Dr Angel Face Main Stories: Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face / Dr. Angel Face Alternative  /  Dr. Angel Face Prequel 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 9 , 10 /  My Full Masterlist  /  Dr. Angel Face Masterlist  / My Ko-Fi

"How was New York?" Amelia asks, joining me as I stare at the OR board. "New... I don't know, I didn't see much." I reply. "Ooh, that sounds nice." "It wasn't anything like that. Calum was doing promo, I was stuck in a hotel room. And we only went out twice, and that was strategically planned to avoid paps and fans. It wasn't the dreamy New York trip I was hoping for." I sigh. "I am sorry. I know you wanted it to be special." "I knew what I signed up for. Anyway, I am back now, and I have a spinal shunt on a toddler. So, wish me good luck." "You don't really need good luck. But yeah, Good Luck. Karev is assisting?" She asks and I hum. "With the help of Robins via videoconference." "No one recognizes this about you, but the fact you are going your fellowship like that, over videoconferences and with such a long distance from your mentor, is admirable. You are one badass gal, Dr. Angel Face." She teases me, making heat cover my cheeks. "I am going to kill Calum for that nickname." I groan. "It's cute, and it suits you. Let him live." Amelia sings as I walk further from her.

The nickname is now stuck with me at work and home. Even Calum's friends have adopted it. For nearly a year now, I am Dr. Angel Face, and it is lovely. I never want it to change, I never want to be called another nickname, ever again.

"Good morning, buddy. How are you feeling today?" I ask the toddler who hides in his mother's arms, suckling on his pacifier. "Say good morning to Dr. (Y/N)..." His mother coos, stroking his head softly. "He is a little shy today. And a little fussy." She replies as I wait for the interns to scram in. "It's alright. As long as he is not fussy because of a headache." I reply, turning to the interns. "Shall we hear the patient's history?" I ask and the intern nods. "Sammy Spelk, age 3. He was diagnosed with hydrocephalus a month ago and referred to us. He has no other conditions and his morning labs were normal." He narrates and I hum. "Little Sammy over here is going to let us see his temperature, right?" I ask the toddler, sitting on the edge of the bed. I show him the temperature gun, letting him inspect it. "Let's use it on mommy first." I say, pointing the gadget to his mother's forehead. It makes a beeping sound and the LED screen flashes green, showing me her normal temperature. "Are you ready, Sam?" I ask and he points at his head. I smile at him, preparing the gun before pointing it at him. "97.5, we are alright. Now, we are going for a walk and we are going to get a picture of your head. Ok, Sam?" I ask, looking at the interns. "We are heading into surgery after the CT?" The mother asks and I nod. "If there is no swelling, we are going to prep him for surgery. I will send someone out to inform you while we are in. I have done this surgery countless times. And I am being assisted by the hospital's chief of surgery, and Dr. Robins, who is a top pediatric surgeon. Sam is in really good hands." I assure her and she sighs. "Do you have children?" She asks me and I shake my head no. "No, I don't." "You are very good with Sam, and he is not an easy child. He seems to trust you." She states. "It is one of the reasons why I chose pediatric neurosurgery. Children are much better patients than adults." I joke as the intern rolls in the wheelchair for Sam. "Can I come along?" The mother asks. "You will have to wait outside the radiology department, but yes, it's preferred if you do follow." I reply, helping Sam onto the chair.

"Your phone was shut off..." Calum states as my call goes through. "Good evening to you too, my love. It is so nice to finally hear your voice after such a long day." I tease him, earning a scoff. "You are a pain in the ass, Dr. Angel Face." "I have been told. Multiple times, by my boyfriend who wouldn't change anything about me." "Smartass..." He mumbles. "I was in surgery, I needed to be undistracted." I explain and he hums. "Am I a distraction, Dr. (Y/L/N)?" He asks. I can practically hear his cocked eyebrow in his voice. "The worst kind of. Anyway, why were you calling me?" I ask him. "I wanted to ask what you'd like for dinner... Remember, date at your place, tonight?" "Of course, I remember. But I thought I'd be cooking." "Well, you said you had this exciting surgery today and I thought you'd need to rest a bit, that's why I am suggesting takeout." He explains. Oh no, his caring and considerate side. I can feel my heart pounding, my knees becoming weak. "Just say you don't like my cooking, Hood..." I laugh and he sighs, in playful frustration. "I could eat some stir-fry tonight. Maybe some chicken wantons too." "Rice cake too?" He asks and I hum. "Do you even need to ask?" "I will be over at your place at 8:30." "I will be waiting." I cheer, a smile permanently tattooed on my face nowadays. He makes me happy, the happiest I have been in a relationship. And he is the longest relationship I have been in, I am not afraid to admit it. Sometimes I catch myself thinking he is the one, the one I am supposed to grow old and spend the rest of my life with.

True to his word and never late, Calum knocks on my door at 8.30. I rush to the door, opening it with a smile on my face. However, Calum's energy doesn't seem to match mine. "Hi. Come on in. Is everything alright?" I ask, moving aside to let him in. He hands me the takeout bag, walking straight to the living room. He is silent, and he seems broody, like something is bothering him. "Cal, did something bad happen?" I ask him, leaving the bag on the coffee table. Calum digs his phone out of his pocket, focusing on it and completely brushing me off. "Calum, I am getting a little worried. What is going on? You seem angry." I take a seat by him, reaching to take his hand in mine. He pulls it away, handing me his phone. "Someone took pictures of us in New York." He snaps. I furrow my eyebrows together, looking at the pap pic. "Took pictures of us doing what?" I ask. "On our date. There is one of us walking to the restaurant, and some of us kissing..." He sounds just as tense as he did before. "Oh." I simply breathe out, not seeing where the tragedy is in someone taking a picture of us kissing. "Oh? Is that all you are going to say?" He asks me and I shrug, locking the phone and handing it to him. "What more is to say? We both knew it would happen eventually." I reply. "This is a fucking disaster, (Y/N). The worst thing that could happen. I don't understand how you can be so calm about it." I stare at him, shocked by his choice of words. "A disaster?" I ask, blinking fast as I stand up from the couch, with my arms crossed before my chest. "You know what I mean..." "No, I don't know what you mean, Calum. I don't know why us finally going public is the worst thing that could happen. I really don't, unless you are embarrassed about dating me. I know I might not be the most polished, or the shiniest woman you could have by your side, but I am fucking amazing and I fucking deserve not to forever live in secret." "(Y/N), this is not what I meant." He says through gritted teeth. "I think you should go, Calum. Go home, talk with your friends, and sleep on it. Get your head clear. Take time, take a day, a week... Just, come back to me with a clear head." I try to remain calm, but my voice breaks at the end of the sentence. "(Y/N), come on. I am sorry." He stands up. I pick up the bag from the coffee table, handing it to him. "Goodnight, Calum." I say simply, stepping aside and looking at my feet, waiting for him to go.

He sighs, leaving the takeaway bag on the coffee table, before walking out of the house. I pick up the bag, head straight to my fridge, and place it on the very front of the fridge, before heading to lock the door and head to bed.

-

"Can you touch my finger, Sam?" I ask the toddler, holding a finger up for him. He seems to follow the command with ease, reaching for it with both hands. "Good job, buddy. Now I am going to hold this light in front of you, for just a few seconds." I explain, taking my flashlight out of the pocket of my coat. "Pupils are responsive and we have good gross motor function. Now, Sammy, can you look at my finger?" I ask, holding it up again. I move it from side to side, while my intern holds Sam's head steady. "Follow my finger, Sam." I say softly, moving my finger from side to side. "Look at you go... Excellent. And now for the fun part." I announce, reaching for the markers and coloring pad on the nightstand. "You are going to paint with mommy. I heard you are an amazing artist." I hand the pad and markers to his mom. "Why are we handing the patient these?" I turn to the interns. "Fine motor function?" One asks me. "And why this particular method." "Cause he is... a kid." She replies and I hum. "Give him time to color, and we will be back in an hour. This far he is doing great." I assure the mother. "Thank you. We will get straight to color, right buddy?" She opens the pad, spreading out the markers for her son.

I know I gave him time to think and all that stupid shit, but Calum has not even called me yet, nor texted me our usual good morning. It is less than 24 hours since he left my house, but it has been a long, torturing day and I am honestly over this whole argument. He should, by now, have admitted he overreacted. I should not have suggested that he take time if I wasn't prepared to wait for him to do his thinking. I must know better by now. And I know he is not embarrassed by me, not the tiniest bit, but the drama queen inside me wanted to make an entrance. I unlock the door to my apartment, kicking off my shoes. I cannot wait for winter to give place to long, summer daylights. I am not built for early, dark nights.

Before I could even head to my kitchen and dig my way into last night's leftovers, the doorbell rings, signaling that someone is behind my door. I peep through the peephole, finding Calum waiting for me to open up. I open the door, looking at him with knitted eyebrows. "Can I come in?" He asks, pointing inside the house. I move from the door, inviting him inside. "I just got home." I state, shutting the door behind him. "I know. I was waiting for you in my car." He replies. "A tiny bit stalkery. Why didn't you use your key?" I ask, signaling for him to follow me to the kitchen. "I didn't know if Jean was home and I honestly didn't want to stumble upon her. She is not the friendliest..." He mumbles and I hum. "Yeah, she is like that lately."

I reach inside my purse, taking out the picture Sammy gifted me earlier this evening, and putting it on the fridge, choosing a cute magnet for it. "Cute art. Must be expensive." Calum teases me. I cannot help the smile that curls up my lips. "A patient gifted it to me to thank me for my job." I reply. "Should I be jealous of the competition?" He asks me. "He is way too young for me. Takeout?" I ask, opening the fridge. "No, thank you. I was hoping we could talk..." He leans against the counter. I shut the fridge close, turning to face him fully. "Do you want to start?" I ask him. "I am not embarrassed by you. If anything, you are the one way out of my league. The pap pictures are a breach of privacy, my privacy, and I want to keep some things to myself. Not because I don't want to scream from the rooftops you are mine, but because people knowing means they are going to harass you. I don't want that, I don't want to put you in the bullseye. I know what it does to relationships, I have seen it tearing couples apart. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to be attacked. And going public means that you are now part of my public image, it means that the PR team controls my public life and yours. I have learned to live with that, but you shouldn't. I know I overreacted yesterday, I know I did not use the right words. And I am sorry for that. I am sorry you felt that I am embarrassed by you, for even a second. I love you, (Y/N). I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. And I am not saying this to win you over or to end this argument. I am saying it because it is how it is. It is how I feel right now." He talks fast, his slight lisp becoming more prominent as his frustration grows. I chuckle, shake my head and move closer to him. I hold his face in my hands, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips. I feel him sigh in relief as we kiss, moving his hands to my lower back, holding me close to his body. "I love that you want to protect me. I really do. But I am a grown woman, and I survived med school when I was a teen. They can bring it on. I have a thick skin, and I can take care of myself." I whisper softly, resting my forehead against his. "I can't stop worrying about you." He admits. "I promise, if it ever gets bad enough that I cannot handle it, I am going to tell you. I will not let it come to a breaking point." I hold my pinky up, earning a chuckle from him. He links his pinky with mine, leaving a peck on the tip of my nose. "And since we are apologizing, I want to say I am sorry for how dramatic I was yesterday. It was not fitting to the situation." "You have a bit of a flair for the dramatic. You could have made an excellent actress." He teases me, softly pushing my head to rest on his chest. "It is one of the things you love about me." I point out and he hums. "It is pretty high on my list."

"My mom and my sister are visiting in 3 weeks." Calum comments as I walk into the living room, holding the fresh takeout food just delivered to my house. "They are? That's exciting. Are they staying at yours?" I ask him and he hums. "Of course. I cannot let them stay elsewhere." "How come they are visiting now?" I ask him and he shrugs. "Mali wanted to visit on my birthday, but she couldn't, she had some studio sessions to finish. And my mom wanted to come with me on New Year's... She wanted to meet you, but she couldn't come last minute. So, she is visiting now." He makes room for me on the couch, lifting the lap blanket so I can curl up to him. "I am meeting your mom?" I ask him and he hums, digging into the delivery bag. "Are you nervous?" "No. I mean, I obviously want her to like me. But she sounds like an absolute sweetheart and I think she already likes me." "She does. She likes how grounded you keep me." "I keep you grounded? Really?" I ask, picking up my chopsticks. "Before I met you, my head was in the clouds. Then I went through that breakup with my ex and I lost my balance. But you came along, and you made me feel things again. I had to find my balance again to be with you." He replies, handing me my box. I smirk to myself, leaning my head on his shoulder and pressing a kiss on the hollow point of his jaw. "You make me sound like some sort of magical creature. Like your life was nothing before I met you." I comment and he shakes his head. "My life was fucking amazing. It still is. I just didn't have to mindset to enjoy it fully. You didn't change me, but you certainly helped. And to sum it up, you are a magical creature. Something between an angel and a fairy godmother." He presses a kiss on the top of my head before digging into his food. "You know that everyone at the hospital calls me Dr. Angel Face now?" I ask him and he scoffs, smirking as he chews his food. "It suits you." He says. "I think I will have it embroidered on my lab coat." I joke, picking a dumpling with my chopsticks. "With a set of angel wings next to it. You will definitely rock it." "I will suggest it to the chief." "Speaking of suggestions, our anniversary is next week." "I know. But I am working the night shift that day." I reply, hating that I have to rain on his parade. "I know, I remember. So, on your day off, I am taking you on a short trip." "A short trip? Where?" I ask, sounding a bit excited about it. "Just less than an hour away from L.A. Not too far. There is a vineyard, in Moraga Drive, they give tours and have wine tasting. I have booked us a group tour." "Are we taking friends with us?" I ask and he shakes his head no. "No, I just thought it would be fun to blend into a crowd of strangers to celebrate our day." He explains, picking up one of his spring rolls and feeding it to me. "Aren't you afraid of being recognized?" I ask and he shrugs. "Well, the secret's already out. Nothing more to fear." He replies, planting a kiss on my forehead. "In that case then... Let's get drunk on Moraga." I giggle, making him hum.

-

"Do I get the royal treatment this morning?" I ask Calum as I make my way into the kitchen. He is up, behind the stove cooking breakfast for us, looking like a sexy little lumberjack with his flannel shirt over his grey tanktop, and the 3-day-old stubble decorating his face. It is just a pair of hairs, nothing more, but in my head, it is the sexiest thing. "It is just pancakes and coffee, don't kick your panties off just yet. It is early, you still have time until breakfast's ready. You might want to go lay down for a bit longer, I'll call you." Calum suggests as I take a seat, setting up my iPad on the island and opening my notepad. "I have to study for this neonatal procedure. Robins has sent me a pack of notes and a video. I have already watched the video, don't worry about the gore. I am just taking notes of the notes." I assure him, clicking my pen. "I love gore." He teases, mumbling under his breath. I smirk to myself before opening the article Robins sent to me. "Is it interesting?" He asks me, passing me a mug of coffee. "To me, yeah. I doubt you would have any interest in neuroendoscopic neonatal procedures for spinal fluid dynamics, though." I state, scribbling down on my paper. "I have a huge interest in the things you are interested in." He comments, moving behind me and resting his chin on top of my head. "Ok then. I am studying for an endoscopic septostomy. The plan is to prep now for the procedure so that when the mother goes into labor, I perform on the baby straight away. Right now, there is an obstructed ventricle on the baby's brain, which does not allow the proper circulation of cerebrospinal fluid. Our goal is to unblock the ventricle and allow proper circulation, thus connecting the 3 ventricles of the foramen of Monro." I explain, drawing a quick shape on the paper to explain it. "It sounds all very sexy when you say it." He plants a kiss on my jaw. I giggle, feeling ticklish from the way his day-old beard rubs on my skin. "It is truly such an exciting thing to do. The whole procedure is nothing sort of art. Minimal need for interventions post-surgery. And no severe complications. It is exciting just thinking about it." I explain and Calum chuckles. "I can see how excited you are. When is the mother due?" He asks. "4 weeks. I have time to prep, but you never know when she might get into labor. I want to be ready for any case." "You know you are my personal hero, right?" He asks me, wrapping his arms around me. "It is really not that big of a deal..." I feel my cheeks heat up at his compliment, still getting flustered when he praises me "It is. You should see yourself when you are talking about all that medical stuff... You can light up the whole town." Calum kisses my cheek softly, letting his peck hover over my skin.

"Don't you people have any fucking sense for others in this house?" Jean almost screams, making both Calum and me snap toward the entrance of the kitchen. "I didn't realize you were home." I stutter, watching as she fumes. "I come home after a night shift and I am looking for a bit of quietness to have a bit of sleep, and there you are, laughing like hyenas and talking like you are 3 miles apart." She groans. "I don't think we were that loud." Calum protests, for the first time confronting her. "Of course, you fucking don't. You weren't the one being awakened." "Jean, you know you don't live alone. And we were not loud. We were just talking. I am sorry you are not asleep now, but you are being insufferable the past few days. Everything annoys you." I say calmly, knowing that even a raise in tone will upset her. "Of course, I am not living alone. We used to be two. Now it's three of us..." She says bitterly, walking away from the kitchen.

Calum stays and stares at me empathetically, waiting to see my reaction now that she is gone. "I don't think she likes me much." He mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper, making sure she does not have an excuse to be bitter. "I don't think she likes anyone to be honest." I roll my eyes, shutting my tablet case closed. "Maybe I should stop spending time at your house..." He suggests and I shake my head at him. "I think it is time I stop spending time at this house." I reply and he looks at me with knitted eyebrows. "Jean... She used to have a little crush on me. I made it clear I was not interested and she dropped it. But when I started dating you, she started acting weird. I don't think I am comfortable with this behavior anymore. I think it is time I find a place for myself." I explain, tilting my head to the side. "Well, that explains a lot..." Calum replies, taking a sip from my coffee. "So, you are planning to move out?" He asks me, making me shrug in response. "I don't see another way to cope with her being awful. I am tired of this. She is not mean to just you, she has become aggressive with me too." I state and he sighs, leaning in to peck my forehead. "Pack a little bag with what you'll need. Come stay with me while you prep for the surgery and we will look into options for moving out. Go, I'll stay here and tidy up your kitchen..." He suggests, stroking a strand of hair behind my ear. "You don't have to take me in like a stray. I will be fine here." I assure him but he does not seem to be taking no for an answer at the moment. "What kind of boyfriend I would be if I let my girlfriend stay where they don't treat her right?" He asks, picking up the plate of pancakes before me.

-

"New dress?" Calum asks as he enters the master bathroom. I shrug, leaving my powder brush by the sink. "I figured our first anniversary deserved something nice." I reply as he moves behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist softly. He pecks the top of my head, smiling as he looks at us in the mirror. "I can't believe you have been mine for a year now... How did I ever get so lucky?" He asks, not breaking eye contact through the mirror. "I don't know... But thank your lucky star for me too." I reply, stretching my hand back to stroke his hair. "I'll make sure I do. Almost ready?" He asks me, lowering his lips to the nook of my neck. "Just lipstick and perfume and we are out of the door." I reply and he hums. "I think gloss will suit you better today." He comments and I cock an eyebrow at him. "Ok, Mr. MUA... I'll take your advice today." "I'll pick your perfume." He pecks my temple, moving to the drawer of my toiletries in his bathroom. "Is this a dig to my taste?" I ask him with a soft chuckle. "You obviously have great taste. You are dating me. I just want to pick your perfume." He replies, picking up the little bottles and opening the caps to smell them. "This one. This one always smells good on your skin." He comments, taking a deep whiff of the perfume before letting it rest on the counter by the sink. "I will be out in a second." I smile, applying a layer of lipgloss to my lips. "Gonna check if Duke is set..." He says, pressing a kiss on the side of my head. "I'll meet you downstairs." I reply cheerily, throwing the gloss inside my little purse.

The sun is shining brightly as we ride through the Californian road, blasting some soft music with the windows rolled down, letting the soft wind hit our faces. Even with sunglasses on, the light is so bright that I have to narrow my eyes to be able to look out of the window. "The only thing that could make this thing better is if we were in a convertible." I comment, leaning my head back against the headrest of my seat. Calum smiles and picks my hand from my lap, not taking his eyes off the road as he brings it to his lips. "Next year." He replies, fixing his sunglasses. "You are not taking me to the same place on our next anniversary." I comment and he hums in surprise. "Already having expectations for next year?" He asks. "Why shouldn't I? I am not planning on breaking up with you, and I am not letting you go... So..." I reply with a shrug. "That doesn't sound too bad. I am going to keep your word on that." He chuckles softly, smirking without turning to look at me. I smile to myself, reaching to stroke the hair on the side of his head. I can't remember the last time we had a soft day like this, usually too preoccupied with work and other obligations. So I am going to keep it as a sacred gift. "What is it, princess?" He asks me and I shrug. "Nothing... I just like spending time with you." I admit, not able to take my eyes off my man. He stays silent, but his eyes crinkle as a smile spreads on his face.

Calum pulls me from the group, looking around to make sure no one is looking at us as we walk further into the barrel cellar. "Where are you taking me?" I ask with a very soft giggle, taking a sip from the Merlot sampler we got handed before walking from the crowd. "Somewhere a bit more private." Calum replies, bringing the hand of mine he is holding to his lips. "Why do we need privacy?" I ask as he picks a corridor at the very back, hidden from the attendees. "Because you look a little too good in that dress." He comments, cornering me up against a barrel. He picks up the sampler glass from my hand and leaves it aside, before he leans down to kiss me, placing his hands on my hips. My hands move to the loops of his jeans, fingers going through them to pull him closer to my body. "You smell so sexy." He mutters against my lips, trailing a hand to cup my jaw and keep my head steady. "My boyfriend picked my scent today..." I giggle a little loudly, making Calum groan before he muffles me with a kiss. "I will need you to be really, really quiet. We don't want everyone hearing you and kicking us out." He says sternly, gripping my jaw firmly. "Why would they kick us out?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows together. Calum chuckles, inching the hand that was resting on my hips down to the hem of my dress. "We both know how vocal you can be when I touch you, angel." He comments, bringing his hand in between my thighs. I gasp, eyes going wide as I muffle my mouth with my hand. Calum has a devilish, triumphal smirk stretching on his lips as he discovers my core. "Angel is not as angelic as expected... Not wearing panties today?" He asks, rubbing his fingers on my slit, putting a little pressure on my clit. "Must have forgotten about them..." I tease, throwing my head back against the barrel. I spread my legs more, completely ignoring all logic that says we should not be doing that right now, in this place. "Where is your mind, princess?" He chuckles in a low voice. "On you." I reply, knowing my response will make him hum in pleasure. "That's my girl... Should reward you for that." He hums, gathering my wetness with his fingertips. He grabs my chin and pulls my head down, bringing his lips to mine as he slips 2 fingers inside me. I am grateful for being muffled; the sigh that leaves my lips would have caused some queried looks if not suppressed by his kiss. He curls his fingers up, smirking against my mouth at my little gasp. I feel my face becoming hot, the rush of the moment taking over my prudish side. But who am I kidding? My prudish side has been muted for a year now. "Do you have any idea how wet you are?" Calum asks, caressing his fingers inside me slowly as he moves his lips to my neck. "You will be a good girl and stay quiet for me, won't you baby?" He asks me, grazing his teeth over my sweetspot. "Because if you won't, we will have to stop this. And we don't want this, do we?" He asks me in a condescending tone. I purr in agreement, pressing my lips together to force myself to stay quiet. He picks up the pace of thrusting his fingers, while his thumb moves expertly to stroke my clit softly. His fingers cause a knot in the pit of my stomach, while his thumb on my clit makes me tingle all over, sending electricity down my spine. I have to brace myself, so I cling to him, burying my face in the side of his neck. My nails clutch onto his back as I become more and more lost in pleasure. My left leg hikes up, wrapping around his waist as I lean back, hiding my face to the side, muffling my mouth with my hand. "You have to stay still, princess." Calum comments. "I can't. I can't. I am sorry." I mutter, bucking my hips against his hand. "I need you... I need your cock." I whisper, looking at him pleadingly. "Not here, angel. But I promise you, you will get everything you crave when we return home." He replies as I pulse around him. "I need to..." I begin, but before the whimper could escape from my lips, I bite onto my hand. "I know, baby. Cum for me." Calum leans in, pressing his forehead against mine. It is mind-blowingly intense, trying to cum without making a single sound and drawing attention to us. Yet, I dig my nails into my palm and manage to ride my high without making noise. "You look so cute, all flustered from your orgasm." Calum comments, pecking the tip of my nose. "You know, I was never that risky before I met you." I state as he moves his thumb against my clit, prolonging the euphoric feeling coursing inside me. "What are you talking about? The first time we fucked was in a supply room in the hospital you are working." He points out, taking his fingers off from inside me. There is a numb pulse on my core at the loss of contact, but then I watch as Calum brings his fingers to his mouth, taking my taste, and the pulse becomes heat, spreading on my sex and my whole body. "I think we should leave. What do you think, angel?" He asks me, fixing the hem of my dress. "Who needs wine when I can get drunk on you?" I ask, gulping the knot in the back of my throat that forms just at the thought of what will happen once back home.

Calum takes my hand in his as I lay my head to rest on his chest. Still breathing heavily from his orgasm, he brings my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles softly. "Why does it still feel so good?" He asks with a sigh. "Would you rather sex was bad?" I ask him back and he chuckles. "It was rhetorical." He points out. "Ashton thinks we are still in a honeymoon phase." Calum adds and I move my gaze to meet his. "You are talking to Ashton about our sex life?" I ask and he rolls his eyes. "No. Obviously no. He just thinks I am smitten. And I don't disagree, to be honest." "Oh, Hood is in love." I chuckle, leaving a kiss on his chest. "I am." "Luckily, I am in love with you too." I rest my ear on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "We really left our date to come stay in, huh?" He comments and I hum in agreement. "There isn't a better place to be than with you." I reply, tracing a pattern on top of his stomach. "I got you a little something." He states, sitting up to reach under his bed. "What a coincidence... I did too." I cock an eyebrow, getting off the bed to head to the drawer I keep my stuff. "You really shouldn't have." He sighs. "Likewise." I kneel on the end of the bed, passing him the little cardboard box. He hands me the gift bag, motioning me to stop before I open it. "It is really stupid, the thing I got you. But it was stuck in my brain since we talked about it." "I am really curious about what it is." I comment, tapping my fingers on the bag. "You can go ahead and open it if you want to." He suggests but I shake my head. "Yours first. I have to explain it a bit." Calum eagerly undoes the bow that holds the little box together, lifting the lid to take a look inside.

"I always love it when you wear rings. And I thought about what I should get you, and it was this. This is the snake from the international medicine symbol, shaped like your initial. I know it is stupid, but I thought that it would be like having a little bit of me wrapped around your finger." I explain, watching as Calum takes the ring out of the box and slides it on his finger. "It is one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever gotten. I love the thought behind it. Wait, did you design it?" He asks me and I shake my head no. "I described it to the jewelry designer and he made it for me. I am not that good at designing." "It is beautiful. Thank you, my love." He runs his finger over the ring, smiling as he takes a good look at the chunky, silver ring. "My turn now." I announce, opening the bag. "I am really embarrassed about my gift now." He warns me. I reach inside, picking out a brand new lab coat, embroidered with the hospital's logo on the right side of it. On the left, it has my name, and title, with a bit of addition underneath it. 'Dr. Angel Face', with angel wings on either side of the sentence. I laugh softly, remembering when I jokingly suggested I should have the nickname embroidered on my coat. "Calum, this is... Amazing. I don't know what to say." I am still looking at the coat, running my finger over my nickname. "Wait... That's the title I will get when I complete my fellowship." I point out and he hums. "I am so sure it is coming soon, I don't see the point of not having it embroidered on the coat already." He states. I leave the coat aside, moving closer to Calum and cradling his face in my hands. "I love you so fucking much." I state, before leaning in to kiss him.

--

Announcement: Two more parts for the prequels before I post the next part of the main story. It is going to be titled Wrapped Around Your Finger, and I will probably have to break it into 2 posts because thus far it is 38k words and I am still not done with the plotlines I want to include.

Dr Angel Face Main Stories: Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face / Dr. Angel Face Alternative  /  Dr. Angel Face Prequel 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 9 , 10 /  My Full Masterlist  /  Dr. Angel Face Masterlist  / My Ko-Fi

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: February 5, 2020

Lyrics:

Angel, with the gun in your hand

Pointing my direction, giving me affection

Love is fatal

Won't you give it a chance?

Center of attention

Don't you ask me any questions

Go on and light me like a cigarette

Even if it might be something you regret

You got me now, now, now

Swallow me down, down, down, down

I only light up when cameras are flashing

Never enough and no satisfaction

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

Changing my face and calling it fashion

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

Lay me in the palm of your hand

I'll give you my permission

You'll always be forgiven

Go on, replace me

When you're craving something sweeter than the words I left in your mouth

Go on and spit me out

I only light up when cameras are flashing

Never enough and no satisfaction

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

I love the way you're screaming my name

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

Changing my face and calling it fashion

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

I love the way you're screaming my name

Go on and light me like a cigarette

Even if it might be something you regret

You got me now, now, now

Swallow me down, down, down, down

I only light up when cameras are flashing

Never enough and no satisfaction

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

Changing my face and calling it fashion

Got no shame

I love the way you're screaming my name

Songwriter:

I love the way you're screaming my name

I love the way you're screaming my name

Nathan Perez / Donna Lewis / Calum Hood / Luke Hemmings / Michael Clifford / Ashton Irwin / Andrew Wotman / Ali Tamposi

SongFacts:

"No Shame" is a song by Australian pop rock band 5 Seconds of Summer, released on February 5, 2020 as the third single from the band's fourth studio album, Calm. The song was written by Calum Hood, Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford, Alexandra Tamposi, Andrew Wotman, Nathan Perez and Donna Lewis.

An accompanying music video for "No Shame" was released on YouTube on February 7, 2020 and has 19 million views as of March 2021. Directed by Hannah Lux Davis.

The band is featured in a cheetah print performance box. In between there are recordings of the individual members doing an activity that is linked to a song lyric. Calum Hood is shown with a wife and two children. He gives her expensive gifts and they are seen posing for photos in front of a neatly manicured lawn. This fits with the text “Never enough and no satisfaction”. Next is Luke Hemmings' scene. The other band members and crying relatives attend his funeral. He later arrives dressed in black and it is revealed that he faked his own death. It strongly reflects the lyrics: "Diggin' my grave to get a reaction." Michael Clifford and a group of friends have an accident. They immediately take selfies of the incident, presumably to post on social media. The lyric ��I only light up when the cameras flash” fits this scene. Ashton Irwin is portrayed as a sort of plastic surgeon operating on a woman. The text described reads: "I change my face and call it fashion." At the end, all four band members take off their masks to reveal older men underneath at the end of filming. The song is widely believed to reference the negative aspects of social media, the music industry, and possibly the paparazzi and fans. Ashton Irwin (the band's drummer) confirmed this live on Instagram.

[outerspaceisbetterthannothing]

Blame [Surgeon!Calum AU] Ch.7

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Summary: What do you do if the only person you feel the connection to is the person you blamed for your sibling’s death?

Warnings: description of unpleasant sexual experience, mental breakdown and infant death

AN: Oh, wow, can’t really believe that i’m updating this fic, but here we are. Sorry it took so long and thank you if you kept waiting. Feedback is highly appreciated as always. Enjoy!

***

“Dad?” 

The house answered with an echo of the word. Anna looked around. Lights were out in the kitchen and living room. Only the wall lamps in the hall were glowing softly, making everything look a little surreal in the shade of twilight. 

“Dad, I’m home!” Anna tried again, but the house answered with the same silence. 

She felt a rush of anxiety. Her dad knew she was about to come. Where was he? Where was everyone? Did anything happened? Anna dropped her bag right next to the door and moved to the stairs. 

She saw it instantly, like she was expecting it. The door to the nursery, the one locked by Max weeks ago, was open. The only light was streaming from that room. Anna heard quiet sobs and gripped on the railing, her knuckles turning white. She wasn’t supposed to see that room. How come she did?

Anna entered the nursery. 

“Mom?” she called.

Jennifer was standing next to the crib, clenching on the blue blanket they had brought to the hospital for Grayson. Her shoulders were shaking and her face was tear-stained, when she looked up at Annabelle. 

“Mom, you shouldn’t have-” Anna started, her eyes filling with tears, but Jennifer closed the distance between them and hugged Anna, burying her face in Anna’s hair. “I’m so sorry, Anna, so so sorry,” she whispered. 

“Mom, what are you apologizing for?”

Jennifer sniffed, letting go of Anna and looking her in the eyes. “I’ve dragged you through all of it, honey,” she said. 

Anna felt her heart break at these words. “You’re not dragging me through anything, Mom. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault,” she took a deep breath, trying to push back the tears. “Let’s go downstairs, you shouldn’t have seen this anyway.”

Anna tried to pull her Mom to the door, but Jennifer shook her head, not moving from her spot. 

“No, my darling, I should have seen it,” she looked around the nursery. “We’ll never overcome it unless we go through it. Hiding and running away won’t do the trick.”

Jennifer let go of Anna’s hand she was holding and moved to the window, painted light blue color Anna had spent days choosing in July. She stroked the windowsill and sighed again. “I needed to see it. As I need to acknowledge the fact that my baby will never sleep here to move on and start healing.” 

She turned back and looked at Anna, who stopped trying to keep her tears inside. They were streaming down her face and Anna didn’t attempt to wipe them away. 

“You need it too,” Jennifer said. “Whatever it is what holds you from grieving, you should let it go, Anna. You need to go through it all, no matter how difficult it is, or it’ll crash you.”

Anna looked away at these words, feeling everything freeze inside her. She was grieving, wasn’t she? More than her Mom knew. 

“I’m going through it, you don’t have to worry,” she said more just to say something, than because she really meant it. 

She saw her Mom smile and nod and knew Jennifer didn’t believe a word. But Anna also knew her Mom well enough to know she wasn’t going to push it further. 

“I love it, you know,” she said, making Anna look at her with a puzzled expression. “The nursery,” Jennifer explained. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much for decorating it and the paintings.”

Anna shook her head as her Mom came up to her again and stroke her hair. “You don’t have to thank me for anything.”

“Yes, I do,” Jennifer insisted, hugging Annabelle again. “So thank you, my beautiful strong girl.”

Anna sobbed, putting her arms around her Mom’s waist and resting her head against Jennifer’s shoulder. “There’s no one stronger than you, Mom.”

***

Calum was sinking in the void. He heard everything like he was underwater, his mind going numb. The world around was slowly dying, disappearing from his perception borders. He always felt like that in the OR, having all his focus on the patient in front of him, forgetting everything that existed behind the doors of a sterile room. He always had only one goal inside these walls. Saving a life. 

But today the fog around the operation table was somehow thicker and everything felt more unreal. And when the machines started signalling about the blood pressure being dramatically low, it didn’t mobilized Calum, but only made his numbness worse. He knew that very moment, he wasn’t able to win this fight. To be honest, he knew it long before that, when they opened up the little body and saw the tumour with their own eyes, he knew there was too little of a chance for the success. Yet, when the baby stopped breathing, Calum didn’t stop operating. 

He felt his assistant surgeon freeze, saw the hesitation in the eyes of the nurses. But he couldn’t just stop. He was a surgeon, for God’s sake! His job was saving people, not standing and watching them die. So he kept going, was giving the instructions on different medications to use, was trying to set the tiny heart back on, asking the anesthesiologist about the time. Like any time left for them by anesthesiologist mattered now. But when his tiny patient spent five minutes without breathing, he had to finally admit it. He lost his fight. Again.

“Time of death eleven forty-eight.”

His own voice was coming to him through the walls of fog. He stepped back from the table and motioned to the assistant surgeon to finish for him. Calum felt slight trembling in his hands, which never happened to him before. With loud bang, that no one besides him could hear, the walls around him fell down, revealing the truth Calum wasn’t ready to accept.

He lost a patient. He lost another patient and knew fucking nothing of how to deal with that right now.

Calum stormed out of the OR, ripping off the gloves and his operating gown, and strolled down empty hospital corridors. He heard a familiar voice calling on him, but didn’t even try to stop. He rushed through half-empty corridors and hid in the on-call room. He almost hit an intern when opening the door there, but the poor guy disappeared without complaining after just looking at Calum’s face once. 

But privacy of the on-call room didn't help. Calum had started moving and couldn’t stop now. He kept pacing around the room, trying to do away with his anger at least like that, but it didn’t seem to help. He heard the door open and close behind his back and threw a hasty look that way. Ashton took couple careful steps closer, but then stopped. He wasn’t in his scrubs already and, obviously, had no idea about what happened in his best friend’s OR. 

Calum kept pacing nervously.

“Cal, what happened?” Ashton asked when understood Calum wasn’t going to start talking first. 

Calum just shook his head and let out an incoherent groan. Ashton took a deep breath and got ready to wait. He knew Calum well, knew he needed some time to open up and there was no point in pushing. This time it took only couple minutes for Calum to blurt out, “I just keep losing them, Ash. No fucking matter what I do, I still keep losing them.”

Calum stopped his pacing as suddenly as he started talking and looked Ashton in the eye. 

“Why the hell does it keep happening?” Calum dropped and froze, his shaking hands the only proof he was a human and not a statue. 

Ashton felt cold creep up his spine. Without doubt it was one of the scariest moments of his life, cause for the first time he had no idea what Calum was going to do next. No freaking idea in the world. His eyes were wide open, but the expression in them just as much of a mystery. Ashton took one more step to his friend, ushering “Hey, buddy,” under his voice. But that very moment Calum set in motion again. He exhaled, turned right and with all the desperation he had inside hit his own locker. And then he hit it again. And again. He was hitting it as fast as he could, feeling knuckles burn with pain. 

It took Ashton about two seconds to realize what was happening. Two seconds of thinking how it couldn’t be happening, as it couldn’t be Cal, cause Cal could never do anything like that. But there he was right in front of Ashton punching his locker like it was Death himself, and Ashton had to stop him. He rushed to Calum and tried to grab his arms from behind, but succeeded only after the third attempt. 

“You’re being an idiot,” he mumbled and pulled Calum away from the lockers, but Cal twitched and managed to move even closer to his improvised punching bag, dragging Ashton with him. 

“Bro, stop, you can’t hurt your hands, are you insane?” 

But Calum kept trying to fetch away from his hold. 

“Dr. Hood,” cold voice rang out in the on-call room, stopping two men wrestling immediately. 

Calum froze and Ashton let go of his arms, still keeping an eye on his friend though. They both turned to the door to be met with neonatal department head’s eyes, just as cold as her voice. 

“Dr. Campbell,” Ashton greeted the surgeon. Calum stood silent. They both knew what was gonna happen next and good manners weren’t to save him from this. 

“As tragic as losing a patient is, Dr. Hood,” she started not raising her voice anymore, “it isn’t a reason to risk your surgeon skills. More than four million infants die in the world every year. You have no right to prevent hundreds of your future patients from getting the help they deserve.”

Aston threw a look at his friend, who didn’t answer anything and was looking somewhere above Dr. Campbell’s head. 

The head of department frowned a little at the lack of response, but continued, “I believe you ought to file a report, add all the necessary information to the patient’s chart and talk to the little boy’s parents.”

“With all due respect,” Calum started and for the first time in his life Ashton heard his friend’s voice tremble. It was hardly noticeable, but he knew Calum too well not to hear it. “I’m not sure that I’m the one to do it regarding my state and…”

“He was your patient,” Dr. Campbell interrupted him, “he is your responsibility.”

Calum nodded, his fists squeezed and jaw tensed. Dr. Campbell sighed and went on, “After you finish with those, please, leave the hospital. I don’t want you in my department for the next three days.”

“But I have a shift tomorrow, some surgeries planned!” 

“Not anymore,” she shook her head. “And if I see you boxing against lockers ever again, it’ll be not three days off, but an official suspension. Am I being clear here?”

“Yes,” Calum let out through his gritted teeth. He exhaled, like he was preparing for a jump and left the room. 

Ashton nodded to Dr. Campbell and took a step forward the exit too, when her voice, much quieter and softer now, stopped him. 

“Dr. Irwin, can you do me a favor?”

“Of course,” Ashton looked at the older surgeon, wondering what could she possibly ask from him. 

“Look after Calum,” she uttered, looking him straight in the eye. 

Ashton huffed, opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and just nodded.

“What?” Dr. Campbell asked.

“I’m sorry?” “You obviously wanted to say something, Dr. Irwin. Say it, please.”

Ashton took another minute to consider that offer and went on, “Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Campbell, but don’t you think threatening to suspend him is rather harsh?”

She sighed again and looked at the locker which now had dents from Calum’s fists. 

“He is by far the most talented surgeon I’ve seen in all years of my career. But he needs to learn the hardest parts of our job before he understands his own greatness.”

Ashton gaped at her, being totally lost for words. He never worked much with Dr. Campbell, but had heard one too many times from Calum how she never praised anyone and the highest level of her approving was her silence. So hearing her say those things right now was almost life altering. 

Dr. Campbell turned her eyes to Ashton, nodded one more time, as if she wanted to confirm she truly said what she said, and left the room. Ashton opened Cal’s locker, fixed the bigger dents and closed it. He couldn’t change what was happening to his friend, but he could help at least with that. 

***

Cold drizzle was like a thousand stings on Calum’s face. He was trodding home through the dark and wet streets. Early October brought rains and gloom, but Calum was even glad that the nature was so in harmony with his mood. 

He fixed the backpack on his shoulder and lowered his head a little not to let raindrops get in the eyes. Dr. Campbell’s rebukes kept replaying in his head. He was pretty used to her cold criticism, but today he couldn’t just accept it like he always did. 

More than four million infants. What was the benefit for those infants from his surgical skills if he still continued losing patients? The image of crying boy’s parents cut him like a knife. He brought them the worst news parents could possibly get, and they still thanked him for everything he’d done. Like he had done enough. What was the fucking point in all his work if he couldn’t stop saying all these “Sorry” and “We’ve done everything we could”?  What was the fucking point? 

He crossed the road, car horns deafening him for a moment and reminding there still was a whole world around Calum he better start paying attention to. But Calum wasn’t ready to pay attention to anything tonight. He just kept thinking. Thinking about his work, his patients, his weakness. Maybe Luke and Mike were right? Maybe choosing a specialisation with such high risks was a mistake after all? Calum shook his head, narrowly escaping crashing into the group of giddy drunk people. He could still remember with what ideas and hopes he came to neonatal surgery so many years ago. He wanted to save lives, wanted to change those numbers. Believed that he was able to make those more than four million less than four million. How much did it say about his ego. And how little about his quality as a surgeon. Maybe, choosing neonatal surgery was a mistake after all.

His phone started vibrating in his jeans pocket. Calum didn’t want to even check who it was at first. Probably Ashton, checking up on him, ready to provide yet another spiritually deep shit about obstacles we had to go through on our way and how the most right paths were the hardest ones. Calum loved his best friend, hell, he considered Ashton to be his brother, just as close and important for him as Mali. But he was in no mood for these wisdom lessons. 

But the call didn’t stop even after the third signal and that made Calum doubt it was Ashton. None of his friends were usually holding the call for so long. He fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the lit up screen. He saw the photo he took at Aubrie’s party. She was smiling shyly and clinging on Anna’s neck, being so touchingly embarrassed in front of the camera. “Annabelle” was written across the picture in black letters. 

Calum stopped and sighed. His finger lingered over the green icon, but didn’t tap. His eyes caught on the time and he frowned. There was no way she was calling him at almost one in the morning just to chat. He waited till the call went to the voicemail and the screen went out, and shoved the phone back in his pocket. Somehow this call only made him feel worse. He knew he should have answered, but he was just not in the shape to save young lost girls tonight.  And anyway, if things had been different he would have still been in the OR and wouldn’t have answered her call. So probably it all was for the best. 

Calum looked up to the pitch black sky and took a deep breath, feeling sharp drops of rain leave imaginary cuts on his face. He just needed to get home and let this awful day finally end. He fixed his backpack again and kept on walking through the dark and wet streets. 

***

Anna switched her phone off, not leaving the message, as she was asked, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. He didn’t pick up. Was he busy? Working? Sleeping? Not alone? All these questions running in her mind. She didn’t even know why she called him in the first place. Did she expect him to come save her? Stop her from doing what she was about to do? She let out a humourless laugh and shook her head. She was not a damsel in distress and he was not a knight in shiny armour. Whatever she was about about to do, she did because she wanted to. Because she needed to. To feel something besides emptiness and pain, anything at all. 

Loud bang on the door distracted her from her thoughts. She washed her hands and left the toilet, seeing the line that gathered while she was inside. 

She was in the bar. She didn’t have an intention to go here, just found herself in front of the door and decided to spend the evening. She thought about texting Allie and Jo, but dismissed that idea instantly. She wasn’t in a mood to see anybody. She just wanted to forget, at least for the night. So she settled at the bar counter and ordered her first drink. She felt anger rising up inside as the alcohol was starting its way along her veins. For the whole week she kept replaying her mother’s words in her head. And each time she was doing it, she was getting more furious. She tried to keep her emotions in check, try not to show to her mom how really difficult it all was for her, for the sake of Jennifer’s sanity. And what did she get in return? An advice to let it all go? To let the grief crash her? To “go through it”, for the fuck’s sake? She shook her head, downing her first glass. She wasn’t going to do anything like that. She grieved and she moved on. Just like people do. But she wasn’t going to let it crash her. She didn’t want it, didn’t want to spend days drowning in her own tears, like her mom did. If letting go meant going through such excruciating pain, then fusk it. She’d rather feel nothing at all. 

She asked for another glass, thinking alcohol would make her sleep better, and was determined to leave after finishing it. But then he came up to her. He was rather tall and pretty fine. Anna knew that in any other circumstance she wouldn’t spare the guy another glance. She didn’t get his name, but was pretty sure he didn’t get her name either, so they were even. He was just chatting her up and for now she was satisfied with it. Just as long as he kept her mind from all the shit she was going through. He paid for another cocktail for her and she kept smiling, even though his attitude was rather arrogant and his jokes much ruder than she preferred. Anna had no idea how much time she spent absentmindedly giggling to whatever crap he was telling, when she suddenly realized, he was standing a little too close. She was breathing his perfume in, too sharp for her liking, mixed with the spirit fumes. His eyes were demanding and his hand was already on the small of her back. Anna was trapped and there was no way of leaving this guy now without making a scene. So she lied she needed to go to the bathroom, and as soon as she was safely hidden behind the door of a single restroom, she dialed the number of the only person who, she believed, could save her from that guy and maybe even from herself. 

But her call went on to the voicemail. Calum didn’t pick up. He was busy with work or whatever else he could have been busy with. And it meant Anna couldn’t have been saved. At least not tonight. She looked in the mirror, her eyes too big on her thinner than usual face, mascara dust on her cheeks. And then it stuck her. She didn’t need him to save her. She didn’t need to be saved at all. Her only agenda was not to feel, and there was pretty good chance that dude would help her with that. 

She let the bangign girl inside the toilet and came up to the guy who was waiting for her and chatting to the bartender.

“So,” she went straight, “do you think we could leave this place?”

His satisfied grin was almost disgusting, but Anna prohibited herself to think about that. He dropped how he thought she would never asked, and ordered an uber pretty fast. And before Anna had a chance to understand all that she was doing, he was already all over her on the backseat of a taxi. His kisses were rushed and a little too rough, just like his hands on her thighs. But Anna let him get it his way, commiting to these new sensations, tasting them with her mouth and skin, wandering if she could get to enjoy them. 

They got to his place pretty fast, and soon he was pushing his hand down her jeans. Anna didn’t let him turn the lights on, so there were only his hands and lips and occasional words in the darkness. He pushed her on the undone bed and pulled down on her jeans. She listened on their breathings and sounds of sloppy kisses and understood she could actually imagine whoever she wanted in his place. Sure as hell this guy was just using her for his pleasure, not really caring about her at all. Even if she had any doubts before, the way he shoved his dick inside her, without even asking if she was ready or checking if she was wet, said it loudly enough. She squeezed her eyes at a rather painful feeling and thanked the alcohol and darkness for at least some arousal. He started moving fast, hitting her hard with his body, his perfume suddenly making her sick. Anna forced her body to relax and faked a moan. Her sounds made him even more active, but she wasn’t opposed that at all, finally getting the feeling she was aiming for. He was fucking her into the mattress, using her body, while she was using him to imagine somebody else in his place and finally forget this somebody really existed somewhere in the world. 

***

Calum was lying on his bed and watching strange shadows his bedside lamp was leaving on the ceiling. Duke lied next to him, watching his master with disapproval in his black eyes. Cal felt like his pup’s eyes were about to burn a hole in his head. So he turned to his dog. 

“What?” he asked, irritated by the dog’s judgment.

But Duke only snorted and looked away.

Calum rolled his eyes. “Nice,” he huffed, “now you don’t even wanna look at me. And I thought we were friends.”

Duke growled quietly and crawled closer on the bed, pressing his side to Calum’s arm, but still not looking at him.

Calum sighed and scratched his dog’s back. “I love you too, buddy. Sorry I’m a dick today.” 

Duke huffed, but didn’t change his position, making Calum think that he probably deserved it. 

His phone started buzzing on the bedside table. Calum sighed again and stretched his hand to it, building up in his mind all the insults he was going to send up Ashton’s overprotective ass. But instead of black and white Ashton’s photo, he saw the same picture of Anna and Aubrie. He looked at the clock, short hand so close to showing three in the morning. Why the hell would she call him at three in the morning? Calum frowned, asking himself if he really wanted to know, when felt his dog’s eyes on him again. He looked at Duke and saw even more disapproval in his eye than before.

“Alright, alright,” he huffed, sitting up and answering the call. “Hello?”

He didn’t hear her voice. Truth to be told, he didn’t hear anything at all at first. He even thought she dialed his number by accident, having her phone in the bag or the pocket. But when things like that happened, you could usually hear something, like sounds of the streets around, or voices of people talking. And now he couldn’t hear anything. Until he heard her sniff. 

“Anna?” he tried again. But again he got no answer. “Anna, what happened?” 

Her sniffs grew into full crying. Calum could swear he heard the sound of the tears streaming down her cheeks in the silence surrounding them both. 

He stood up abruptly, looking for his sneakers on the floor, Duke fast on his little paws and whining quietly. “Anna, can you just tell me where you are? What happened to you?”

It took her another minute to get herself to answering. By that time Calum was already leaving his place. 

“Can you, please, come?” her voice was feeble to the point of being hardly audible, but it was enough for Calum. He made her repeat her address twice to memorize it, while he was running down the staircase, and thanked that sleepless city for the opportunity to catch a taxi at literally any time. 

Her door was open. Calum didn’t know was it because she was waiting for him or because she was so neglectful to her own safety. But as he saw her tears-stained face he didn’t have a heart to scold her for that. Whatever was what brought her in that state, she scolded herself enough without his help. 

She was sitting on her little couch, her eyes wide open and full of fear. Calum looked around and locked the door behind him. He came up to her, sat down and pulled her to his chest.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, feeling her tears start running again. He didn’t ask anymore questions, knowing better than this. Just let her cling on him and let it all out. But she didn’t cry for long. It’s like she had a limited amount of tears now and she couldn’t cry more than that. So she soon stopped, only reflex sobbing shaking her tiny frame every now and then, but kept holding on Calum. 

He waited a little longer and decided to ask again, “What happened to you, Anna?” 

Calum felt her shaking her head awkwardly against his chest. And then she finally answered, her voice muffled, “It’s not what happened to me. It’s what I’ve done with my own hands.” 

“And what is it?” he asked, stroking her back soothingly. 

Anna shook her head again, but then froze under his touch and breathed out, “I’ve just slept with a guy.”

She felt his hands stiffen for a moment, but only a moment. Whatever reaction he had, he was damn good in hiding it. Calum took a breath and asked, “So?”

She pulled away from him and sat straight, her red from crying eyes looking in his tired brown. 

“I don’t even remember his name.”

“So?” he repeated with a huff. Calum did feel a sting of something too similar to jealousy, but hoped he didn’t let it show. After all, he had no right to feel anything like that.

“And I have a boyfriend, Calum!” Anna went on, hysterical notes back in her voice. “I have a boyfriend, who loves me, but I just went to a bar and slept with a random guy!” 

“Hey,” Calum tried to stop her, but it was too late, tears filling up her eyes again. She started talking and couldn’t stop herself now. 

“I just wanted to forget, Calum. Do I ask for too much? Just to forget, at least for half an hour. I just needed it and I went to that bar and he was there. And I didn’t even like him, but he was there and you didn’t answer my call, so I let him take me home. And-” she stopped, lost for air and words. “The fuck did I do, Calum?” she whispered, choking on her tears. “What the fuck am I doing? What should I even do? I just can’t anymore, it’s so difficult. Why no one tells you it’s so difficult?”

Anna started shaking with her whole body. Calum had set in motion before his mind fully acknowledged what was happening to her. He didn’t see it quite often even though he was a doctor, but he did know the symptoms of a panic attack well enough. He pulled from Anna for a moment and lifted his right leg on the couch. Then he took her by her sides and sat her right on his lap, put his arms around, squeezing her in the bear hug, letting his biceps almost crash her ribs and shoulders. 

“Calum, I can’t breathe,” Anna managed to say. 

He didn’t even try to reply. He felt her shaking stop instantly and her tears calming down and that was enough for him. Couple minutes later he opened his arms, letting her take a breath with her whole chest and looked her in the face. She looked back with a mix of surprise and confusion on her face. She was on a verge of hysteria only couple minutes before and now she felt completely calm.

“Feel better now?” Calum asked. 

“Is it some kind of a doctor's trick?” she answered with a question, making him smile softly.

“Yeah, it actually is.” Calum moved away from her again, took her hands and pulled her up. “Come on.”

It took only two steps towards the bedroom for her to start arguing. “I don’t wanna sleep,” she started shaking her head, pulling on Calum’s arms to stop him. “I don’t wanna close my eyes. Each time I do, I see-” she broke, unable to finish. But she didn’t need to, he knew what she was scared to pronounce. 

Still he huffed and pulled her further. “You need rest,” Calum stated. “You’re still slightly drunk and you’re tired and stressed. Your mind needs rest. Bed, now. Doctor’s order.”

But Anna kept pushing back, squeezing his hands and looking at him with a plea in her eyes. 

“I don’t wanna stay alone,” she finally admitted. 

Calum sighed, “Who says anything about staying alone?” he reassured her softly, pulling her closer and rubbing her arms. “Go lie down. I’ll turn the lights off and come.”

She spared him long lingering look, but did as he told and disappeared behind the bedroom door. Calum sighed heavily, stroke his neck and asked what kind of joke of the Universe brought this mess of a girl into his life. Was it his karma for not saving her brother? Or was her brother’s condition only to bring them two together?

He checked the lock on the door and switched off the lamp. He had no trouble with moving around her apartment, everything so tiny here, he needed literally three steps to cross the living room. Anna was already in bed, covers up to her chin, her eyes straight on him. He could feel them even in the shadow of the room, the only source of light was a street lamp far below her window. He took his shoes off and lay down on the covers. He rolled on his side to face her and met her demanding eyes. Anna pulled her hand out from under the covers and took his hand. They were just lying like that, face to face, holding hands and not saying anything. Soon she started blinking less, her eyelids getting heavier. She couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer and let tiredness pull her down into the depths of sleep. Calum exhaled, letting his body and mind relax, and slowly drifted away too.

***

Waking up was sudden, like coming up from underwater. Calum didn’t get what was it that woke him up, a noise or a feeling. He just opened his eyes, like from blinking, and realised he wasn’t sleeping anymore. 

He was alone on the bed. Anna’s careful steps were heard from behind the door. He stretched his body and rolled on the back, looking around bright, but extremely small room. A bed with a forged headboard, some ribbons hanging from it alongside with a small dreamcatcher, a little dressing table and a door to what he assumed was a built-in wardrobe. There were half a dozen little photos attached to the mirror frame. And tens of different pictures were looking at Calum from the walls. Black and white pencil sketches, aquarells of a seaside and stormy skies, big sized photos of Annabelle with her parents and friends, portraits of random people and even couple of oil paintings. They all were forming the main decor of the room, being the most noticeable part in it. Calum felt uncomfortable, like he was prying into the part of Anna’s soul without getting a proper permission. But still couldn’t stop staring at them. She was so damn talented, it took his breath away.

Sounds of the coffee maker brought him back to reality. Calum yawned, glanced at her digital clock and got up. She was in the kitchen, next to the open cupboard, trying to get a cup without producing any noise. She was wrapped up in a soft bathrobe and looked extremely cozy with a messy bun on her head. 

“Good morning,” Calum said, his voice raspy from the sleep.

She jumped and turned around, pressing the cup to her chest. 

“Hey,” she mumbled. “Did I wake you up?”

Calum shook his head, coming up to the kitchen island and sitting down. Anna put the cup in front of him and reached out for another one. While they were waiting for coffee, Calum looked around the apartment, everything so familiar, yet so different in the morning lights. Anna kept staring at Calum. No one said a word. 

When the coffee was ready, she filled their cups. Calum nodded in appreciation, but still didn’t say anything. The uncomfortable feeling he got while looking at her pictures stayed with him even after he left her bedroom. He felt guilty not only for this, but also for yesterday. Was he to blame for what she did? If he had answered his phone when she called for the first time, would it change everything?

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out all of the sudden.

“I told you, you didn’t wake me,” Calum shook his head again, though not daring to look at her. 

“No, for yesterday. I’m sorry I called you and for the scene you had to see.”

Calum inhaled sharply. “You don’t have to. I understand,” he said. “I truly do, even sleeping with a random guy part.”

Anna couldn’t fight the shivers. His voice was so calm, almost cold.

“Do you despise me now?” she asked in whisper, terrified of what she might hear.

“Would I stay if I despised you?”

“That’s not the answer.”

And then he looked up at her. She was ready to many things, besides not being able to see anything at all in his eyes.

“It is,” said Calum firmly, “just not the one you were hoping for.”

His eyes were heavy on her face. Anna had no idea what was about to happen next. And when she understood she wouldn’t ever find out, because his phone started vibrating and distracted him from her, she felt nothing but relief.

“Hey, Ash,” Calum answered his phone, not looking at Anna anymore, and lifted his cup to take a sip of coffee.

Anna’s blood froze in her veins when she saw his hands, all knuckles were in bruises and cuts and blood stains. She looked back at his face, trying to imagine what could possibly have happened to him.

Calum wasn’t looking at her and missed the change in her mood, his full attention on the person he was listening to. He spent another minute just listening, when finally put the cup down and answered, slight irritation in his voice, “Listen, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the care, but you don’t have to check up on me, bro. I’m alright.”

He had to listen for something his friend answered before going with “Yeah, hands are fine too, Ash.”

He finally looked at Anna, being all ears and shamelessly trying to make out what his friend was saying on the other side of the line.

“Listen, I’ll call you later and we’ll discuss it, alright? Have to go now.”

Calum hang up abruptly and met Anna’s half-curious, half-distressed eyes. 

“Why does your friend checks up on you?” her question was straightforward to the point of being rude, but she couldn’t care less. 

“Because he’s worried.”

“And why is he worried?” Anna pushed further.

“Because I lost a patient yesterday,” Calum answered simply.

“I’m sorry,” Anna mumbled, hiding her eyes in her coffee cup, wondering if his injured knuckles were marks of his emotions. But she could hardly imagine it. Calum she knew would never do anything like that, he was just incapable of such rage. She thought if that was one of the reasons she felt such attraction to him. She was absolutely positive whatever was happening inside his head, he would never overstep the line.

Calum winced, “It’s fine.”

And those two short words burnt her harder than anything before. It was someone’s baby, but for him it was fine?

“How can it possibly be fine?” she asked before she could stop herself. She had never got that angry so fast, but now she just couldn’t control herself. 

What she hadn’t taken in consideration was that he was also angry. His emotions were still boiling since last night, and her scolding him for his hard-hearted attitude didn’t add to his pleasure. 

“I am a surgeon, Anna,” he dropped, “and it’s a part of my work. Sometimes we lose patients. I knew the numbers when I came to surgery.”

“So that’s what they are to you?” she threw back at him. “Numbers? And my brother was also just a number?”

Anna knew she was overstepping. But she hated him that moment almost as much as she hated herself.

Calum didn’t answer anything. He just looked at her, hands holding on the back of his head. Anna couldn’t quite understand what was so different in his look right now, but could feel the change with her skin. He exhaled, stood up, picked up his jacket and, just as silently, left her flat. And Anna stayed to listen to the regret ringing in the air around her.

***

taglist: @myloverboyash, @bringmethehorizonandpizza, @calumamongmen, @lfwallscouldtalk​, @empathycth​, @calpops​, @talkfastang​, @cthoodsthetic​, @ariannawoodxoxo, @dreamer-loves-lyrics​, @fluffsshawn​, @cals-cigarette​, @easierfor5sos​, @5saucewho​, @gorgeouslygrace​, @singt0mecalum​, @rip-lukes-balsamic​, @sinfuljade​, @outlandishnerd​

[singt0mecalum]

singt0mecalum 1k celebration

HELLO HELLO TO ALL MY LOVELY PEEPS!

I’m finally getting around to celebrating the fact that one 1000 of y’all beautiful humans actually want to follow me (now 1100 bc i’m shit and bad about procrastinating). I LOVE YOU ALL SO BIG! I DONT THINK YALL UNDERSTAND!

So in honor of reaching 1k followers, I’m going to be doing my first ever au day/night/however long it takes me to get through them with…*Drum roll please!*

Surgeon/Doctor/Nurse!SOS!!!

So, Come talk to me about Medical!SOS!

I will be answering and writing for ALL FOUR boys!

We can talk fluff, smut, angst.

It can be a concept, a head cannon, a drabble, whatever you want (within reason ofc).

Hell if you really wanted, we could storyboard this shit and turn it into a fic. Idk lets go wild.

All I ask of you is that:

You reblog this to spread the word

A follow isn’t necessary but I wouldn’t be opposed if you did

Send in what you had in mind and with what boy

Also send me a blog suggestion! I want to follow more of you beauties!!

I will start accepting asks NOW! And the au span of time will start on Thursday afternoon (6/20). I will stop accepting asks on Friday at 8pm US CST. (mainly bc that’s what time i have to be at work lol).

SO LETS GO CRAZY. COME AT ME YALL.

i will be hashtagging all posts with #hanhits1k

Also, side note, @asht0ns-world and I will be doing a group chat in celebration of us both hitting 1k at the same time so keep an eye out for that post!

[softforcal]

can you imagine Cardio surgeon! Cal having one of the hardest heart surgeries of his life and he pulls it off and then needs kinky sex in an on call room with lots of praise and calling him Dr. Hood

he knows your usual on call room and he knows you have time between surgeries. he comes in and closes the door, locking it as you blink away your sleep, “Cal?”

“Dr. Hood.” he corrects, “open your legs.”

you follow his instructions and he settles between them, face close to yours, “guessing your surgery went well Dr. Hood?” you tease.

instead of answering he kisses you, its rough and passionate and you know what he probably feels like. he feels on fire, like a king… like a god. he had a heart in his hands and he fixed it. He. Dr. Hood. fixed it.

he’s usually pretty dominant but he’s different after a successful surgery, and this has happened before so you know what he wants.

“you’re the best cardio surgeon on this hospital Doctor.”

“no one fixes hearts or fucks pussies like you do Doctor Hood.” okay that one makes him stop and giggle to himself for a second mid doggy so after that you just stick to calling him Doctor Hood.

he has so much adrenaline and just needs to get it all out. he can last a long ass time too, i mean, he’s a cardio surgeon am i right?

fucking you against the wall, on the ground, on one of the beds, you name it.

after he’s done you both just collapse on the bed staring at the ceiling trying to catch you breaths, hearts beating out of your chests. “you know Cal, you really are an amazing doctor.”

[etherealhood]

Lighthouse - Prologue

author: @etherealhood

word count: 3,101

warnings: no calum yet, angst, mentions of stillbirth, mentions of divorce

a/n: hey everyone!! here is the prologue of my Grey’s Anatomy AU series, Lifehouse! i’m so beyond happy and excited to share this with all of you as i’ve been working on this for literal months at this point! unfortunately, there is no calum in this part since it’s all about the reader and her backstory. i highly recommend you read this part because it’s so crucial in understanding the reader’s personality and the choices she makes throughout the series. however, the first part will be up tomorrow at 12 pm MST, so you won’t have to wait so long for the next part. anyway, please enjoy and make sure to leave feedback!

pairing: neurosurgeon!calum x pediatric/neonatalsurgeon!reader

masterlist

The metal of the clothing hangers were clanking together, combining with the sound of feet chasing after you down the wooden stairs and pleading shouts from the man behind you. You sniffled, taking a deep shaky breath as you opened the front door of yours and your husband’s shared apartment. The door slammed against the wall and you didn’t even have it in you to care about the paint job on the wall that might’ve been chipped by the angered action.

You walked out onto the front porch, the rain pouring around you and your husband who had followed you outside. With an angry cry, you threw the clothes you’d gathered in your arms out into the rain, watching as the expensive clothing was immediately soaked. The tears that ran down your cheeks combined with the cold rain drops and you had a hard distinguishing if you were actually crying or not.

However, as you pushed the burning lump in your throat down, you realized that you were indeed crying. You turned around, facing your husband, Cyrus Wilkins who had a mixed expression of sorrow and regret swimming in his bright blue eyes. You couldn’t help but be furious at the fact that he looked just as hurt as you felt.

You scoffed and walked back into the apartment, making a point of not touching him as you moved past his tall frame. “Please, Y/N. We can fix this. Don’t shut me out.” He pleaded, following you inside, paying no mind to the fact that nearly every article of clothing he had was ruined by the Seattle rain outside.

“Fix what, Cyrus?” You asked him, your red and swollen eyes meeting his. Your voice was so defeated as you spoke that it was a surprising change from your usual firm and confident manner of speaking.

Your heart shattered in your chest, an aching pang of hurt rocking through you. An aching pang that you, unfortunately, had become very familiar with in the past year and a half. “You cheated. I needed you to be my partner, to help me through what’s happened last April and you were rolling around in the sheets with another woman? How can we fix anything after that?”

“Because we love each other, Y/N.” He said, stepping closer to you, reaching out to grab your hands. You took another step back, putting your cold and shaking palms over the warm skin of your chest, rubbing them right under your collarbone as a way to comfort yourself. “Those rings on your finger, say that you love me and that I love you. We can’t fix us. We can fix this marriage.”

You pulled your left hand from your chest, sniffling as you looked at the two rings on your left hand. It was hard to remember the times that you and Cyrus were happy as you looked at the diamond ring and the silver wedding band. It was hard to remember that once upon a time, you two were so desperately in love with each other. It seemed almost impossible that you and your husband had been expecting a child, excited about the idea of your little boy coming into the world.

You met Cyrus Wilkins in the first year of your residency at the young age of twenty-five. Immediately, you and Cyrus grabbed each other’s attention and quickly fell in love. Only a year after meeting, you found yourself walking down the aisle, married to another residential surgeon.

A year and a half ago, you found out you and Cyrus, the man you believed you loved more than life itself, were going to have a baby. Over the three years that you’d been together, there was only one thing you and him both wanted more than each other, and that was a family. As soon as the positive pregnancy test was in your hand, you felt like everything was falling into place. You two were building a life, and the best part of it all was that you were doing it together.

You carried the baby boy for the full forty weeks, but the day before your due date, you and your husband received the most brutal news you’d ever gotten. After an unsettling feeling crept in like a sickening plague, you got to the hospital and were told that the baby was stillborn.

The last eighteen months have been full of grief and heartbreak. From the moment the detrimental words were uttered by the doctor that you’d not only been a patient of, but worked with everyday, everything went downhill. That didn’t only include the death of your child, but the steep and steady decline of your marriage.

Both of you suffered through the immense grief, both of felt what happened so deeply, but you believed that you and Cyrus could get through it. With as much as you loved each other, you thought you could get through anything and everything as long as you had each other.

You’re a strong woman, you’re resilient and always seem to come out on top even in what you thought were the worst of times. However, the loss of your son ruined you in a way that you knew you’d never come back from. You were no longer the bright and happy person that came strolling into the coffee shop, asking how everyone’s day was. You no longer wore that beautiful smile, but purple bags underneath your eyes and a tried look everyday.

But Cyrus took care of you as you went through the darkest period you’ve faced so far. He understood where your pain came from and he held you when you cried into the pillow at night, when you heard that gorgeous baby boy’s name, when you closed your eyes and saw his sweet faces. He helped you come to terms with what happened and guided you further and further out of the dark tunnel. He was good at it, too; for the first year anyway.

A couple months ago, things changed. Your husband changed and you’d have to have been dumb to not see the way he’d become a different man. Whenever you looked at him, you noticed that he seemed to hold himself differently in the way that he no longer stood tall. He seemed to walk almost as if he was ashamed. He didn’t wear a permanent smile anymore. It was the little things. He was good at hiding it, but you knew him well enough to know that there was someone else.

As much as you denied his infidelity, as much as you didn’t want to believe that your true love had betrayed you, you knew he did. Though, you also knew he loved you. You could see it in the way he looked at you with those icy blue eyes that reminded you of the snow you loved seeing every December, you could feel in the way he kissed you after he told you he loved you. Often though, you find yourself at a crossroads: do you stay with your unfaithful yet loving husband or do you move on and find a new happiness?

Catching him in the act of breaking his vow of staying true to you, you knew what your decision was. The anger you felt when you saw him with another woman, blinded you as you consciously accepted that he’d was in fact cheating. That prompted you to grab all the clothes in his side of the closet, everything he owned, and take it out into the pouring pain, throwing the articles in front of your home.

As all the hurt and unhappiness surged through you the way electric currents do, you realized that you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t try fixing a marriage you didn’t want to be in anymore. The moment of clarity allowed you to surrender and that’s what prompted you to say: “You can’t fix something that doesn’t exist,” in a quiet, almost inaudible mumble. You looked up at the man you knew would forever have a special place in your warm, loving heart, eyes brimmed with tears, red veins more visible in the white of your eyes.

Cyrus’ body and face visibly deflated, looking as if he’d been punched in the gut. You held your hand, rubbing your rings with the tip of your index finger. The metal was cool against your touch and suddenly everything was quiet, you breathed out shakily, closing your eyes as a single tear rolled from the pooled water that was blurring your vision.

With the drop of that one tear, you pulled off the two rings that even in that moment, meant more to you than anyone could believe. You grabbed Cyrus’ large hand, uncurling his fingers as you placed the bands of love in his palm before closing his first around them.

Your husband looked down at you, shedding his own tears as you met his cool eyes. He rolled his lips between his teeth, shuddering as he pushed back a cry. He cleared his throat and nodded, accepting that this was what you wanted. That you two were done.

“I love you, Y/N.” He said simply. He didn’t need to plead or ask if you knew that he still felt so much for you, because he knew you did.

Nodding, you rubbed the exposed skin on his wrist. “I know you do.” You told him, standing up taller to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. After you pulled away, you cupped his strong jaw in your small and cold right hand, looking up at him with love. Though it wasn’t the burning, passionate love that was once there. It was as if you were  saying goodbye to the best chapter of your life; the chapter you once thought would be the rest of your book.

“I think I should go.” You mumbled as you pulled away from the tall man in front of you. He shook his head, clearly disagreeing with your statement.

“No, I ruined our marriage. You should get everything, especially the apartment. You’ve always loved it here.” He reminded you, implying the memory of the day that you two bought your first home together. You had just gotten engaged and with the prospect of starting a family, you needed something bigger than the small, studio apartment that you’d been living in since college. You two needed something that was yours.

The moment you saw the listing for the large apartment, you knew that was your home. You loved everything about it. But now, after everything you’ve lost, your favorite place didn’t really feel like home anymore. To be honest, you weren’t exactly sure what home meant anymore. You weren’t sure where you stood or what was next for you anymore.

“I loved it here, but it’s not my home. Not anymore.” You looked around your living space, realizing that the pictures and the knick knacks didn’t mean what they once did. Looking at the pictures of you and your husband on your wedding day, you didn’t recognize the woman standing in the white dress, smiling up at the man she adored more than the stars themself. It wasn’t you.

“I’ll get my things and I’ll be gone.” You sniffled and began walking up the stairs, feeling heavy yet relieved as you took the first steps of many steps in leaving the life you no longer wished to be a part of.

Packing the things you owned went by in a blur. It felt like you were watching everything unfold as an outside person, like you were looking in and seeing someone’s life fall apart. You were just the person looking in at the sad world your life had become. You felt like you were watching as you threw your clothes and shoes into suitcases and duffel bags, putting jewelry and toiletries in another. You grabbed books, family pictures that excluded Cyrus, and things that you’d collected over the years.

Everything was packed as you walked down the hall, passing by that ugly door that’s remained closed since you came from the hospital after giving birth all those years ago. You looked at the wooden door, remembering the times you left it open and stood in the middle of the nursery, dreaming of the life your son would live in that room. You’d wonder, for hours on end about who’d he grow to be, what he would look like.

What would his favorite color be? Would it be yours or Cyrus’? Would he choose his own favorite color? What would his soft baby coos sound like? What would they grow into as he got older? Would he play sports? Would he be an artist, or would he be a technology lover that preferred videogames?

All these questions went through your head, along with many others. It hurt thinking that you’d never know the sweet little boy you’d instantly fallen in love with upon learning about his growing presence in your life.

You hadn’t gone into his nursery, which was still set up, since the night you went into labor. It was too hard. Some days, even walking past the closed door had you wanting to fall to your knees as you held your aching chest and cried loudly. Some days, you did just that.

Setting your bags by the stairs, you walked over to the door, your hand grasping the cold, metal door handle. With a deep breath, you turned it and pushed the door open. You found yourself in the threshold as you turned on the light. The crib that Cyrus had spent hours trying to figure out how to put together as you laughed at your cursing husband, was pushed back against the wall by the window. A rocking chair, one that you’d made sure was cushioned was in place next to it, a small, stuffed elephant placed neatly upon the seat.

The pictures frames that hung on the walls were empty, waiting to be filled with the pictures you’d planned on taking over the months until he was one. His name was painted on the single blue wall above his crib. With a sad smile, you looked into his crib, seeing the blanket you’d planned on bringing him home in. You reached out and grabbed it, holding it tightly to your chest.

On the dresser, was a pile of your ultrasound pictures. Every appointment’s picture was in the pile. Even a CD with a three dimensional recording of him moving around with a smile on his face had been given to you as a courtesy of your doctor and co-worker. You grabbed both the pictures and the disc, walking out of the room, taking one last mournful look before closing the door, and yet another chapter in your book.

You put everything in the last of your bags, walking down the stairs to place them next to the other suitcases you’d packed. One final look at your home, caused you to sigh in relief and then you were out the door, leaving your life and your now ex-husband behind you.

You put everything in the back of your car, getting in the driver’s seat. You drove away from the only home you’d ever really felt like was home, not once looking at the building as you drove away. The rain was still pouring, your windshield wipers moving every couple of seconds as you drove quietly to the hotel you planned on staying at.

It didn’t take long to get checked in, as not many people were staying at a hotel in Seattle in the early days of December. Before you knew it, you were sitting in your hotel suite on the couch your phone on the coffee table in front of you. You stared at it, wondering if you should make the call you’d been dying to make for a couple of weeks now.

As you reached to grab it, it started ringing, the person who’d you’d planned on calling popping up on the screen. You let out a small chuckle at the irony. Grabbing it, you pressed the green answer button and held it up to your ear. “Hey, Ash.”

Your friend greeted you by saying your name. “Are you okay? Cyrus called, told me what happened.” He said from the other side of the phone. His usual chirpy voice fell as he spoke of your soon-to-be-ex-husband. You looked down at the carpeted ground beneath your sock-covered feet.

What really could you say? You really weren’t okay. Everything was far from okay. But as you left the apartment and Cyrus, and planned on calling Ashton, everything seemed to be looking up. With this one phone call to a man you’d known for several years of your adult life, you knew that everything was going to change. Everything was going to get better. Though, as for now? You weren’t okay.

“Uh, I’ll be fine.” You said softly as you leaned back into then couch. You had to nod to try and reaffirm that everything was going to be better. “I was actually going to call you.” You told him, trying to get out of telling him what happened with Cyrus and why the man he’d always known you to be with, was no longer at your side.

Ashton immediately dropped any mentions of your impending divorce. “To let me know that you’re going to come be the head of my pediatric and neonatal department, I hope?” He said, but the way he said it almost seemed like a question. You could hear the eagerness in his voice as he spoke.

Truth was, Ashton Irwin was always trying to get you to come to California and be the head Pediatric Surgeon at his hospital. You always told him no, because truly, you saw no reason for leaving the wonderful home and family you built in Seattle to work in California, even if it did mean getting to be the head of your specialty’s department at one of the best hospitals in the country.

But that was then, when you did have something to look forward to in Seattle. That was when you were expecting to raise your son and had your husband by your side to do so. You were happy then. Now, you had nothing, no one. You wanted to be happy. Your goal of finally being happy was what gave you the sudden urge to call Ashton.

With a small smile, you nodded. “Yes, I’ll be there Monday morning.”

“Welcome to Crossroads General Hospital!”

leave me some feedback!

[cakesunflower]

I'm so freaking sorry not sorry i can't stop with that neonatal surgeon Cal trope it has my whole ass heart now. So imagine they meet up in some street cafe near the park cause she wants to apologise and during the course of their talk a little girl crawls close behind Cals back. She has a very girlish flowery dress and cute curls and big bright eyes. And she hugs Cals big ass biceps like her favourite teddy and goes all hearteyes and says something cute and Cals laughs even though he's (1/?)

…even though he’s a little surprise and he coos at her and then her mum comes being a little angry with that little angel for walking away from her. Bat then this mother and cal hug and discuss girls state and she’s all thankful cause she still has her daughter around only thanks to him. And after they leave (only after Cal has promised to come and play at her garden party next week, where he will of course go, because he promised!!!) our main girl understands that there are much more (2/?)

…good stories in this world than bad stories. And she’s thankful for that cos she may not be ready yet to move on from her grief but she can see the end to her pain in the future (and def not because Cal is all shy and cute blushing after) . And next week Cal asks her to go to that garden party with him. And fisrt she’s hesitant but then agrees. And when they come Cal chats to girl’s parents and the little girl is havinya tea party with our heroine (3/6)

…and shares how much she adores Cal and how he’s her bestest friend ever cause he saved her heart when she was small and now she wants to save hearts too when she’s bigger. And our character is crying all of a sudden because of how emotional and sincere that moment is. And some time later her fam find out that she’s communicating with Cal and i feel like her mom won’t say anything because she honestly doesn’t quite know how to react cause (4/6)

… to her child is not Cal’s fault but she still lost her baby and Cal was a part of it. So she doesn’t react and that leaves our character a little sad. But her nasty cousins have no trouble with articulating their nasty opinions. And our girl is uneasy and feels guilty somehow. So she cuts down on her meetings and texting with Cal. And he is all confused about it. And one night… (4+/6)

…one night being angry and tired after a particulary long shift he’ll turn up at her porch (she would be living separately from her fam) and ask her like what could he possibly do wrong or if it’s because of her little brother/sister he could save. And she spills the beans realising this moment how stupid she was but he’s offended even though he tries not to show it but she understands and feels even more stupid. And then she comes home for the weekend maybe and surprisingly (5/?)

…surprisingly her dad asks about Cal and she tells how stupid she was and how she ruined it. And her dad calms her down telling that she should listen to her heart and not her god awful cousins and that a great guy like Cal will easily understand her and forgive. And couple years later her parents finally have a little baby and it’s perfectly healthy and Cal doesn’t need to treat it, fortunately, cause he’s already proposed and can’t treat a future family member (6/6)

okay wow i love this??? this is a whole ass story right here and i’m so glad tumblr finally let me see all of these messages omg. i lovelovelove this. it’s a concept i can totally get behind holy fuck

come talk to me about Calum

[calpalirwin]

Nights in the OR

A/N: This is called “I watch too much Grey’s Anatomy” so if you’re a fellow Grey’s fan in addition to a fellow Ashton ho, hi!

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

__

Nights on the peds floor we’re, in a word, uneventful. Low hums and beeps from machines doing their jobs while kids and parents alike snoozed between nurses prodding them awake to do their routine checks. You went through the charts of your patients, delegating a duo of an intern and older resident to each case with strict orders to page you only if something was seriously wrong, and a bright “Keep the tiny humans alive,” before making your way to the emergency room.

The trauma team usually ran the emergency room, a sea of green scrubs moving effectively and efficiently, assessing situations before paging the right departments, or diving headfirst into the work themselves. You caught sight of one of the doctors, a tall man in a shade of green scrubs darker than the rest in the room, and rolled your eyes. Attending trauma surgeon Ashton Irwin was about as arrogant as he was skilled, with an annoying habit of assessing quickly, albeit correctly, and working even faster on patients before shipping them off to the correct departments to deal with the fallout. You weren’t sure if that man had ever spent more than an hour, two tops, with a patient from start to finish. True to his arrogance and almost zero tolerance for sloppy mistakes, he was talking in hushed tones to a second year, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, jaw set, as the resident nodded frantically before running off.

Dr. Irwin took a moment to compose himself, giving the slightest shake of his head and relaxing his jaw, before turning to wherever he was needed next. His hazel eyes scanned the room, and even from where you were you could tell that they were more on the green side tonight as they met yours. He offered forth the smallest of nods and smiles in your direction, dimples indenting both sides of the smile.

You returned the gesture, before twirling your index finger about the room. Extra attending on hand.

He waved his hand. No need. Got it covered, thanks.

You smiled your best, I don’t give a damn smile, striding across the room to take a seat behind a computer, crossing your hands behind your head. And with little else to do on your part, you settled in for a long night of researching the pros and cons of artificial bones versus prosthetics in cases for patients with osteosarcoma, a joint effort you were working on with the orthopedic surgeon.

Around 2 in the morning, you took a break from your research to grab a cup of coffee and a small bite to eat. On your way back, you spotted the orthopedic surgeon with a patient. “Oh! Dr. Hood,” you said as you approached. “Come find me when you’re done. I have some ideas.”

The man swiveled on his chair to glance up at you, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “You’re not in OR 2 with Ash?”

“Nnnnoooo…” you said slowly, taking a sip from your coffee. “Why?” you followed up in a clipped tone. What had Dr. Arrogant done now?

Dr. Hood smiled politely at his patient, and got the attention of his resident. “Ma’am, we’re going to take you up for X-rays now, and then we’ll see about setting your arm for you, okay?”

The woman nodded, clearly shaken up. Then, “What about my husband and son?”

“I’ll get word, and update you as soon as I can,” he promised, before the resident escorted the patient up to X-rays. Finally he turned his attention to you. “Car accident just came in. Parents are a little banged up. Mike and Luke are working up the dad. You know how Luke gets about stitches.”

The both of you shared a chuckle. Luke Hemmings, the plastic surgeon, had very high standards for even the most basic of stitches, and if he was on hand and free, it was an easy bet he’d do the work himself. “So, what’s Mike doing with him then, if it’s just stitches?” you asked, referring to the general surgeon.

He shrugged. “General work up and clearance, I suppose. But the mom and the son’s side took the impact the hardest. Specifically the son. Ash didn’t page you?”

You scoffed. “Why on Earth would Ash page me, Cal? It’s trauma,” you raised your hands and voice in a mocking manner.

“Uh, probably cuz the kid is like seven.”

You growled low in your throat, hands going to tie up your hair. “OR 2, you said? How long ago?”

“Not too long. They gotta still be prepping. So if you hurry…”

“Thanks, Cal,” you patted the man on the shoulder before taking off at a run towards the OR rooms, briefly mourning your discarded coffee and potato chips in the process.

When you shouldered your way into the room, Ashton was in the process of scrubbing in, while nurses finished prep. “What the hell are you doing?” you demanded, arms crossing instinctively over your chest as you made your presence known.

Ashton shut off the water with his elbow, turning slightly to face you. “My job,” was the reply in a tone that questioned your intelligence.

“Bullshit,” you spat. “That,” you pointed out the window towards the child on the table, “is a peds case, and you know it.”

“It will be once it stops being a trauma case, yes.”

“Why didn’t you page me?”

“Because I don’t need you. It’s a trauma case. I’m a trauma surgeon. Now, you want to stop asking inane questions, and let me do my job, or you wanna stand here and fight with me all night?”

“It’s a peds trauma case, and in case you forgot, I’m the peds attending who happens to be trauma certified. And I’ll be damned if you do some hacksaw job on my patient that I have to fix later when I can scrub in and do the correct job now. So, are you going to ask me to scrub in, or do you wanna stand here questioning my credentials all night when you know I’m right? Do not make me go above your head to the Chief, Ash, because you know I will.”

His jaw ticked underneath his mask, his eyes hard as he thought over your threat. “Well?” he snapped after a beat of silence. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to scrub in?”

~~~

It was a grueling surgery, working in tandem with Ashton. For all the shit the two of you gave each other outside of the OR, inside you were one of the best teams, each of you knowing each other’s moves before you made them, and knowing what the other was thinking in the subtlest of changes. Even with both of your focuses solely on the patient in front of you, you were both vigilant in sending Ashton’s intern out every hour on the hour with updates, in which you two were also informed of the parents’ recovery.

Just before the four hour mark, Ashton let out a small hum of approval and you nodded. “Close and get him a room on the peds floor,” you told the intern.

“You don’t want me to update the family?”

“No,” Ashton cut in, already discarding his gloves, mask, and removing his scrub cap, shocks of curly brown hair falling forward and plastering to his sweaty forehead. “I will. Give Dr. Y/L/N any trouble and you won’t see the inside of an OR for a month.”

The intern gulped, knowing their boss meant what he said and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Y/N, I’ll meet you after I update the family to make sure we’re on the same page for how to proceed from here?”

“If you can remember how to page me, that is,” you smiled sweetly.

Ashton chuckled as he left the OR, while you stayed to oversee the intern closing, providing probably much gentler instruction than they were used to.

~~~

You rubbed at your eyes and stifled a yawn as you made your way to the cafeteria, still waiting for Ashton to page you. As you walked in, you realized why Ashton still hadn’t paged, spotting the man chatting with a few other attendings.

“Heard Y/N chewed your ear off,” Michael snickered.

“Yeah, she was pissed. Thanks for that, Cal,” Ashton said with a small giggle before changing his voice to do his best impersonation of you, “ ‘It’s a peds trauma case, and in case you forgot, I’m the peds attending who also happens to be trauma certified. Do not make me go over your head.’ Like yes, darling, I know. I’m the one who gave you your trauma certification.”

As the men started to laugh, you set your tray down in an empty seat at their table. “Morning, gentlemen!”

There was a cough as they tried to stifle their laughter, each of them getting out a choked, “Morning.”

“What were we talking about?” you asked innocently.

“Uh… just how Luke needs to learn to loosen up on the stitches,” Michael thought quickly. “Turns a five minute procedure into a half hour ordeal, it’s insane.”

“Sorry that I care how my patients look after a trauma,” Luke said with an eye roll.

“I’m sure, psych would call that mentality projection,” Calum teased.

“Paging Dr. Pretty Boy!” Ashton cackled.

“Hey! Rather be Dr. Pretty Boy than Dr. Arrogant,” Luke rounded on Ashton playfully.

“Who calls me that?”

“Uh… everybody. Y/N’s pretty accurate with her nicknaming,” Calum grinned.

Ashton let out a breath of disbelief as you smiled sheepishly at him, shrugging your shoulders. “Have you considered being less arrogant?”

“I am not arrogant!”

“Yeah, you are,” you all chorused, while Ashton crossed his arms and pouted. “Oh, whatever, the best surgeons usually are” you continued, turning your attention to Calum. “Before I got stuck in surgery, I meant to talk to you about artificial bones. Found some promising stuff.”

Calum paused in his sip of coffee. “Mmm, shit, awesome. Uh…” he checked his watch, “I got a half hour before rounds. You got time now?”

You checked your own watch. “Yeah, I got t-”

“Actually,” Ashton interrupted. “Y/N, I was wondering if we could talk real quick first. About the kid.”

“Oh! Yeah. We should probably do that. Cal, I’m off after rounds, if you’re free then.”

“Sounds good,” he nodded as he went back to his coffee while you and Ashton rose from the table, bidding the other three goodbye.

“So, his chart’s all up to date. I have one of my fourth years monitoring the situation, but I’m not expecting any complications to arise. Should be good to discharge probably later today or early tomorrow at the latest,” you brought him up to speed as you walked.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Ashton rushed, eyes darting around as he pushed open an on-call room and locked the door behind the two of you. “How long we got til rounds?”

“A little under a half hour, why?”

Ashton smirked as his hands landed hot on your waist, his lips finding yours. “Wanna boss me around some more?” he murmured against your lips, before he was trailing kisses down the column of your neck, before sucking into the sweet spot just before your collarbone, his hands jerking you to be flush against him. “Or, do you want my sincerest apology for being Dr. Arrogant, and forgetting to page you earlier?”

“Mmmm,” you moaned softly, tilting your head back, eyes shutting. “Little bit of both?”

“Yes ma’am,” he winked before scrubs went flying and your back hit the mattress.

__

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[talkfastromance4]

Against All Odds--Calum Hood (part IV soulmate!au)

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

Word count: 7.2k

Warnings: car accident, coma, stitches, an attempt at medical jargon, I did research but am in no way a doctor so if there’s fallacies, that’s why. I tried my best.

Song inspirations: move to you-jagwartwin; falling-tyler daniel; hesitate-the jonas brothers; falling-harry styles; stars in your eyes-ronnie hilton; want you back-5sos; what happens here-ASL; where will i remember you-ASL; all i want-kodaline

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

The Click || Measured in Moments || Fractures catch up on previous parts here!

Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome :)

• • • •

Calum hears rain. He feels it as well, but it doesn’t feel like normal raindrops. His entire body hurts, but the pain is more intense in his head and in his chest. It’s as if he’s on fire with a thousand-ton weight on his head and heart. Voices float in and out of his ears, he tries to decipher the words and their meaning, but his main concern is to control his breathing.

When the pain becomes too much in his head, he forces himself to open his eyes. They’re heavy but he pushes through and blinks a few times until he sees Ashton and Ruby’s faces near his.

“Oh, thank God,” Ashton exhales dropping his head, “you scared the shit outta me.”

Calum tries to sit up but Ruby pushes onto his shoulders.

“Take it easy, Cal,” she says, her voice small, “you’ve been in and out for the past ten minutes.” The honey color in her brown eyes are brighter than usual. “What happened?”

“Where’s Rose? Something’s wrong… she’s… where is she?” Calum demands trying to sit up again, but Ashton is the one to keep him on the floor.

“Take it easy,” Ashton repeats what Ruby said, “you’ve been murmuring her name. Why do you think something’s wrong?”

“I felt it. I can…” Calum’s eyes search down his body frantically, “I feel it everywhere. I need to get to her, I need to—”

His ringtone he has set up for Rose blares from his pocket and he’s quick to pull it out. He slides his finger over the screen to answer it but before he can say a word, a man’s voice comes through.

“Is this Calum Hood?” the unfamiliar voice asks.

“Yes, who is this?” Calum sits up and swats Ashton’s hands away so he can stand up slowly. Ruby holds onto his arms for support, which he’s thankful for. He got a head rush from standing.

“This is Officer Mathers, um… your girlfriend—”

“Fiancée.”

“…Your fiancée was in a collision just now. When we arrived on scene, she was slightly coherent and kept saying your name… Can you come to the county hospital?” Officer Mathers asks.

Like a tidal wave, Calum nearly collapses again, but Ashton has a strong grip on him and keeps him upright. Ashton can see the fear in Calum’s eyes.

“We need to go to the hospital,” Calum whispers.

***

Calum tries to placate and identify every emotion coursing through his body. His whole body is wired, he’s rubbing his hands together in anxious anticipation while his leg shakes impatiently. His eyes are focused on the cracks in the tiled floor, he’s focusing on his breathing and trying not to let the heavy pain in his chest overtake him.

Ashton and Ruby sit on either side of him, they gave up trying to console him as soon as they sat down in the waiting area. Officer Mathers, the one Calum spoke to, was waiting for them at the Emergency Room entrance, a solemn expression on his face as he explained the accident.

Rose was at a four way stop just as the storm started and when she pulled forward, another car came speeding through the stop sign hitting the front end of her car. She went into a tailspin and the force of it overturned the car. When squad cars, the fire department and the ambulance showed up the car that hit her was already gone but a witness getting their groceries from their driveway who made the call saw the whole accident happen.

It took all of ten minutes to break her free from the vehicle—which was how long Calum blacked out—and when she was placed on a stretcher that’s when she started saying his name, almost like a mantra. Officer Mathers took her phone that was still somehow clutched in her hand and found his number just as she was wheeled into the back of the ambulance.

A nurse came by after the officer left and escorted Calum, Ashton and Ruby to the waiting area. Calum badgered her for questions on where Rose was, if she was okay; but the nurse didn’t have that information.

His mind races while he sits and waits. It’s been hours since they arrived, he doesn’t even want to know what time it is. Every minute of not knowing what’s happening with Rose seems like a lifetime. His heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings, he’s filled with adrenaline. He’s not sure if he wants to pace or sit here with his racing thoughts. He’s equally tired as he is wired, and he checks the glow in his chest every few minutes.

It hasn’t gone back to that dark orange, it’s as if he lost the part of Rose that helped complete him.

“I should have been with her,” he mumbles. Ashton and Ruby turn to him, their fingers are interlocked, and, in that moment, Calum is jealous of them. They have the comfort of their perfect counterpart, Calum’s never felt more alone.

“You can’t blame yourself, Cal,” Ashton tries to reason but Calum doesn’t want to hear it.

Not being able to handle sitting much longer, he rises from his chair and begins to pace. His head is still throbbing all around, so he tries to release the tension in his back by placing both hands on his neck. His fingers knead and rub the tight muscles but to no avail, his mind is still racing, and his heart is aching.

Calum.

He spins around abruptly hearing Rose’s voice, but is met instead with a woman wearing an orange surgical cap.

“Are you Calum Hood? Rose’s fiancé?” the woman asks.

“Ye—” he clears his throat, lowers his hands from his neck. “Yes, I am. Is she all right? Can I go see her?”

“I’m Dr. Robbins,” she says, “When Rose arrived, she was unresponsive, so we did some scans and found bleeding in her brain. We took her into immediate surgery to alleviate the bleeding. She has a femoral shaft fracture due to the collision and our orthopedic surgeon placed plates and screws to secure the fracture and an external fixator that holds it all in place. When you see her, it will look a little scary to see the fixator. She also has a few broken ribs and she’s being moved into the ICU so we can observe her on the clock.”

Her words fumble and stumble inside his brain, Calum tries to make sense of it all.

“Can I see her? Please?” his main concern is seeing her for himself, with his own eyes to make sure she’s all right.

“As soon as she’s settled, I’ll send a nurse to bring you to her. She won’t be awake yet, but the anesthesia should wear off in an hour or two. I’ll see you then.”

“Thank you,” Ashton says.

Calum thinks he says them as well, his mouth opens but he doesn’t hear the words. When Dr. Robbins turns on her heels, shoes squeaking on the linoleum, that’s when Calum loses his balance. Ashton and Ruby grab hold of his arms to steady him and bring him back to his chair.

Thankfully, it isn’t long before a nurse retrieves them escorting the three friends down the long, brightly lit hallway. Calum’s throat is sandpaper dry, he’s not sure what to expect when he sees Rose, but he knows when he sees her eyes, he’ll be able to tell how she’s really doing which will equally appease him.

Right when they’re about to turn into the glass paneled wall, curtains are pulled to hide the room, he takes a deep breath. When he sees her, he nearly falls to his knees. His beautiful Rose lies still in the bed, her head wrapped in cloth and gauze while her face is covered in bruises and scratches. Her left leg is elevated with small rods and screws holding her leg in place; now he understands what Dr. Robbins meant about the fixator. It makes her leg look bionic and very unnatural compared to her natural beauty.

His feet feel like lead as he steps forward moving against the curtain. Machines are beeping, while tubes, wires, and IV’s protrude from her chest and arms. When he reaches the side of her bed, he collapses into the chair placed next to it. His brown eyes are sad as he looks her over, his beautiful Rose. Carefully, he touches her hand and when he sees her ring still on her left finger, that’s what breaks him.

“Oh, Rosie,” he sighs letting his head fall onto the back of his arm. He kisses her fingers delicately, making sure not to jostle her too much. She smells like hospital, sterile and clean but he can faintly make out her distinct rose and rainwater smell.

He doesn’t notice Ashton and Ruby shuffle in and occupy the other chairs across the room. He holds her hand tightly in comfort, almost willing that he could somehow take her pain away. He’d rather it be him in the bed than her.

He doesn’t notice a nurse come in until he feels movement on the bed, and he sits up in a flash.

“Checking her vitals and numbers,” the nurse smiles as he eyes the monitors.

Calum watches him sullenly as he checks her breathing, and notices how he makes a face as he shines a small flashlight in her eyes.

“I’ll be right back.”

“What’s wrong?” Calum asks but the nurse is gone. “What’s wrong?!” he looks to Ashton and Ruby who shake their heads in confusion as well.

Dr. Robbins comes bustling in, bringing her own small light to Rose’s eyes, flicking it over as she opened her lids.

“Rose? Rose, can you hear me? I’m Dr. Robbins and you’re at the County Hospital. Rose,” she says in a cool affirmative voice.

“What’s wrong?” Calum demands, his voice hard.

“Check her blood pressure,” Dr. Robbins instructs the nurse. “Mr. Hood, I need you to wait outside.”

“What the hell is happening?” Calum roars rising to his feet. Dr. Robbins eyes him.

“I need to run a few tests on her right now, and for me to properly help her, I need you to wait outside for me, okay? Right outside the door,” Dr. Robbins speaks to him as if he’s a child but it’s not in a condescending way.

“C’mon, mate, let’s go outside,” Ashton says suddenly next to him.

Calum holds onto Rose’s hand as long as he can, his eyes never leaving her face until the curtains are pulled around her bed. Closing Calum off from her again. He hears medical jargon through the thin piece of fabric. He waits, he listens, he watches the glow in his chest flicker.

Five minutes later, Dr. Robbins pulls them aside.

“Rose has a traumatic brain injury and I believe that is what has her in a comatose state,” Dr. Robbins tells him, Ashton, and Ruby. “The impact of the other car caused severe trauma and her body is trying to heal itself in this way.”

“Will she wake up?” Ashton asks.

“It’s hard to say at this stage, statistics show—”

“I don’t want to hear the statistics. She’s going to wake up, what can we do to help her?” Calum asks with not even an ounce of doubt.

“Keep her as comfortable as possible, it’s a good sign she’s breathing on her own but we’ll set her up with a feeding tube so she can still get the nutrients that she needs. We’ll continue to monitor, do routine coma tests and make sure that her leg is healing properly.”

“Let’s do that, then,” Calum nods and moves to go back to her room. He looks back at Dr. Robbins, Ashton, and Ruby. The look they’re giving him is full of sadness. “She’s going to wake up.”

Two Weeks Later

Calum has been at the hospital day and night with Rose. Unwilling to leave her until she wakes up, the staff have brought in a bed for him to sleep in and placed it right next to hers. The first few days were the hardest, Calum was still in shock and trying to process all that’s happened. The guys stayed with him in rotation until it was well past visiting hours. The nights were the hardest, Calum ached to lay next to her and hear her true heartbeat rather than the beeps of the monitor.

As the days went by, her hospital room became like their own little one room apartment. Ashton and Ruby were kind enough to bring their pillows and blankets, clothes for Calum to change in and out of, their poetry books and record player paired with their favorite records.

Michael and Crystal have taken in Duke and Honey until Calum and Rose can return home. He wishes he could bring the dogs in so that their presence would somehow breakthrough to Rose, but the hospital wouldn’t allow it in case they bumped her leg or tugged on the multiple wires and tubes she’s connected to.

Calum also had flower arrangements delivered so the whole room was vibrant and floral smelling. He made sure they were always roses, hoping it would pull his Rose back to him. They also brought a little bit of light in here; it’s been raining for the last three weeks. He never lets one of them wilt, if it looks like it’s starting to brown he orders a new arrangement. He doesn’t want any form of death happening in this room.

The TV is on low volume when Jane, Rose’s primary RN whisks inside.

“How’s our girl doing today?” Jane asks brightly. She appears next to Rose checking her tubes, stitches, IV drip and her leg.

“Okay I think. I think I’m going to try reading her some poetry again,” Calum says stroking the back of Rose’s hand with his fingers.

“I think your love story is so sweet,” Jane smiles poking the earpieces of her stethoscope in her ears. She nods to his guitar leaning against the window. “I haven’t heard you play that yet.”

Calum glances at the instrument that Luke brought over for him one day in the first week of Rose being admitted. Luke told him music is what brought him and his soulmate together, and the love Calum and Rose also shared of music was bound to ignite something within her.

“I don’t really want to play the melodies that are in my head,” Calum says picking up a poetry book that’s on the makeshift nightstand next to his cot bed. It’s a hospital table-top cart that holds his and Rose’s notebooks along with their poetry books. He shuffles through the pages, inked words flashing by quickly. “They’re all sad and I don’t want her to feel that.”

Jane nods tucking Rose’s plush periwinkle blanket back into place, so she stays warm.

“I understand. Everything looks good, I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t forget to eat, Calum,” Jane reminds him with a pointed look.

“Thanks Jane,” Calum tries to give her a grin, but he can feel it’s more of a grimace. Jane walks back out of the room closing the door behind her and Calum sighs staring at Rose. “Should I read some poems to you, Rosie?”

The page he landed on was of a poem titled Bloom,

‘Someone once planted your name

like a seed in my heart.

Only now I’ve met you,

Do I know what it means to bloom.’

And below the printed words are Rose’s own, handwritten in her beautiful cursive. Calum traces the written words with a longing he knows will never go away. It reads:

Calum and I said ‘I love you’ to each other. Not many soulmates do that but after that night with the storm when we had sex for the first time…it felt right. Like my world finally clicked into place. I’ve read about love, seen it with my own eyes from friends and family but to feel it? Love is such a strong word, since we’ve both said it I feel it blooming within me. When I say his name it grows, when he says mine it doubles, and when we exchange ‘I love you’ it triples.

Calum remembers that night perfectly. The provocative prose he read to her lead to their lovemaking while the storm rumbled on outside. It mirrored the storm within him at wanting to declare his love to her, but he kept it inside in fear of losing her. He knew he loved her the first time they kissed up in her apartment, that this was everything he’s ever wanted. Rose is the muse he’s been writing and singing about for all these years.

A loud roar of thunder shook outside, and Calum glances out the rain streaked window as lightning flashes across the sky. It’s as if the universe knows his soulmate is in turmoil because the rain hasn’t let up at all. Glancing back at Rose, he hopes wherever she is that it’s sunshine and happy memories.

He closes the book then moves to the record player in the corner of the room. Their favorite record is already placed inside, and he turns it on. Frank Sinatra’s voice fills the room as he sings about the moon. Calum inspects the flowers making sure they all have their vibrant color before sitting back down on his cot.

He picks up his Michael Faudet book and reads Chasing Love out loud to her. When he’s finished, he stares at this poem for a long time as Frank’s voice ricochets off the walls. The first half is a little broody, two pathways meeting but not crossing. He’s thankful his path and Rose’s crossed—crashed actually. He’s reminded of the ghostly dream he had of this phantom woman a few years ago that teased him of knowing him in his ear. Turns out it was her all along.

The last line pulls at his heart ‘how sunshine steals from autumn frost.’ What a conundrum because his sunshine was stolen from him. Instead of frost and snow the sun was replaced with the rain and thunder brewing relentlessly outside.

He looks at his Rose, frozen in sleep, and he’s desperate for her to return to him. his throat works as he realizes how too close their situation resembles to the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty. His sweet, sweet Rose in a deep slumber.

Calum traces the area of the diamond on her finger. It’s become a bit loose and he takes in her appearance for the thousandth time. Her complexion is dry and thin compared to her usual warmth and softness. She’s void of color and abundance. Like the other times before when he’s felt her anger or her sadness, he tries to place what she’s feeling now but comes up blank. There’s a faint buzzing and a very distant lilt of music, but that’s all he can gather.

The red glow is dim but still there, so that has to be a good sign. Calum scoots closer and with careful fingers touches her hair that is also less in color and dry. Some of it is growing back in baby tufts around her stitches. He caresses her cheek; her skin is lukewarm. On a normal day, this action would have made her cheeks heat up in a light pink pigment, but they remain the same pallor.

“Come back to me, Rosie,” he whispers anxiously. He curls her cool, limp fingers in his. “I love you so much.”

On instinct, he glances back to her chest, the red glow is still the weak glimmer but it’s that little bit of light that urges his hope to press on. She will wake again.

Four Weeks Later

Ashton is sitting with him today like he has been every Monday and Wednesday prior. The record player plays absently in the background and Ashton watches his best friend cling to the love of his life. Their talk is minimal, the weather has been the same onslaught of rain so that’s always out. After Calum informs him of Rose’s condition it goes silent between them.

When the record stops Calum shifts to that part of the room and grabs their album placing it on the B side of the vinyl. He feels Ashton’s gaze on him the whole time.

“Lover of mine is her favorite,” Calum grins then sits back down next to her bed. He’s hoping the music will awaken her at some point. He has to find the right song.

“I hate seeing you like this, mate,” Ashton finally admits. “You’re wasting away being cooped up in here.”

“I’m staying until she wakes up.”

“You have to start thinking of the possibility that she might not…” Ashton’s voice tapers off morosely. Calum’s eyes flash in white hot fury.

“She’s going to wake up,” Calum says firmly. “She’s in there. She can hear me and I…I feel her.” He flicks his eyes back to her then takes her hand.

A few days ago, while he was reading to her, the buzzing he always heard quieted and the musical melody became louder.

“How?”

Calum hesitates, his thumb rubs the back of her hand. “We love each other,” he confesses and Ashton gasps. “And since we’ve said it we’ve had a…a connection. It’s a warmth and a-a glow in our chests and somehow it combined into one. She still has her glow and I have mine.”

“When—why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s hard to explain and I know it’s not common for soulmates to say it to each other, because there isn’t really a need to but…I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.”

“I’d never think that. That’s incredible, man.”

They fall into a silence again. Ashton is still wrestling with the idea that even though Calum feels her, who knows how long it will be until she does wake up? He wants to be supportive of his friend, his brother, but it’s hard when he can see how harrowing this is for him.

He’s been stuck in this hotel for four weeks now, eating hospital food and never leaving. Calum has lost weight and he has dark circles under his eyes that never seem to go away. The similarities between Rose and Calum’s appearances is frightening but also adds truth to how Calum says he ‘feels’ her. Is he going through what Rose is?

Ruby arrives about an hour later with some take out food, her curls are dewed with droplets of the rain and her face falls when she catches sight of Rose and Calum. She looks to Ashton who nods; the two of them have discussed trying to get Calum to go home for a bit and today seems like a good time to do that.

“Hey Cal,” she greets him brightly setting the food bags on the table under the tv.

“Hey Rube,” he replies quietly, eyes never straying from Rose.

“What do you say about going home for a few hours?” She rubs her hands together trying to warm up from the cold rain. “Ash and I can stay here so you can shower and do some laundry.”

Calum turns to her stiffly, his brown eyes flat.

“I’m not leaving her, Ruby.”

“It’d only be for an hour or two,” she presses moving to the other side of Rose’s bed. She gazes at her own best friend, sadness welling up in her heart. “You don’t have to spend the night but just to stretch your legs, get a change of scenery.”

Calum licks his chapped lips, the thought of showering in his own bathroom is tempting. The one here gets the job done but he can feel the difference in comfort. He does have a pile of clothes in the corner that should be washed but the thought of leaving Rose tugs at his heart.

“What if something happens?”

“You know we’ll call you,” Ashton chimes in. “Rose would want you to take care of yourself, too.”

After careful thought he agrees, gathers his clothes then kisses Rose’s forehead. It’s clammy and each step away from her makes him feel horrible. It rises a panic in him he’s never felt before and it only increases when he gets in his car. The rain is a horrible reminder of the night of her accident when his world flipped upside down.

He’s anxious the whole car ride, it’s weird being in a vehicle after four weeks of staying in one place. He makes sure to keep both hands on the wheel as he drives not wanting to risk getting into an accident himself.

When he arrives home it’s dark and quiet without the welcoming of the dogs’ claws on the floor. He misses them and wants to see them at Mike’s house but that would make him be away from Rose longer and he couldn’t have that. Maybe he’ll go over there in a day or two.

The silence is deafening as he walks down the hall. He pauses at the Eiffel tower photos on the wall and gazes at each photo. Rose’s smile and the light in her eyes brings him both comfort and pain. Being home and out of the hospital makes him truly feel the huge weight on his shoulders

He tosses his clothes in the washer and pours in the desired amount of detergent. He selects a setting without reading it but sees it’s only for forty minutes. Good, the faster he can get back to the hospital the better.

Once inside the bathroom—he makes sure to avoid looking at their bed—he connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the fan. Calum’s body feels heavier as he removes his clothes slowly, his arms like lead and his muscles throb.

He stands under the hot spray of water, breathing in the steam and letting it smooth out his strained muscles in his neck and shoulders. Memories of showers spent with Rose flood his mind. He always loved the way she’d stand behind him with her hands sliding up his chest as she kissed the space between his shoulder blades.

What he would give to have her behind him right now. If only he didn’t have to be at the venue early to set up for the show Rose would have been with him. She wouldn’t have had to drive by herself, she wouldn’t have been at that intersection and she wouldn’t be in the hospital right now.

The song changes and the all too familiar lyrics ‘remember the words you told me love me ‘til the day I die’ pierced Calum’s heart. His breath catches as the words sink in along with Ashton’s insinuation that she might not wake. Calum slams his palm against the wall, he continues to smack it until he feels the sharp pain shoot up his arm. He falls to the shower floor, water raining down on him as his sadness, hurt and confusion surface.

Calum feels so lost without Rose, his sobs bounce off the tile and drown out the music. He lets out a few shouts of rage to mask the song of hurt while his bleeds out. He’s not sure how long he sits on the shower floor before he cleans himself off and exits.

While he brushes his teeth, he stares at himself in the mirror barely recognizing the reflection. His cheeks have sunken in under the dark bags of his eyes. He’s so exhausted, sleeping on that cot isn’t as comfortable as his own bed. Calum replaces his wet clothes into the dryer, noting the time of an hour and a half. He shuffles back to his and Rose’s bedroom and falls onto the side that’s hers.

Her pillow still smells like her and tears well in Calum’s eyes at the all too familiar smell. He pulls the comforter over him, his eyes closing easily. He’ll just sleep until the dryer is done and he’ll be back at the hospital in two hours.

The next time Calum opens his eyes is due to a loud crack of thunder. He’s still on Rose’s side of the bed but facing the other way and his whole body feels rigid. His hand pats the bed until he finds his phone, the light makes his eyes strain and he blinks in confusion as he reads the time.

He slept for a whole day and a half. For a quick moment he forgot about the accident and thought he’d just come back from a tour. The phone drops to his chest as he rolls over to gaze at Rose but she’s not there. His small moment of bliss dissipates because he hasn’t been on tour in so long and reality sets in that Rose is back at the hospital.

He curses himself for falling asleep then stretches his limbs, the cracks of his joints are music to his ears and fill him with release. He lies in bed for a little while longer until he’s more awake then gets out slowly. His hair has dried oddly because it was wet when he dropped onto the mattress, but he doesn’t care. He has to get back to Rose.

When he arrives back at the hospital again, guilt ever present in his chest of being away from her so long, he finds there hasn’t been any change in her condition. Ashton and Ruby figured he fell asleep and were glad at how refreshed he looks. They stayed the night with Rose and he’s thankful for that but still feels awful for not sleeping next to her.

After catching up with Ashton and Ruby, they leave him with a kiss on the cheek from Ruby and a reassuring squeeze to his shoulder from Ashton. Calum kisses Rose’s forehead.

“Sorry for being away, sweetheart. Sleep took over me but I’m back now. Should I read some more to you?” he picks up a book and starts to read from Michael Faudet.

He stares at ‘The Northern Lights’ reminiscing about his and Rose’s own moment at the beach, much like what the poem is describing. He reads it out loud, twice then stares at Rose’s face.

“Remember that night at the beach, Rosie? The stars shone in your eyes and we got sand everywhere,” he smiles at the memory while Ronnie Hilton’s song ‘Stars Shine in your eyes’ plays just like that night.

It was a date night curated by Calum complete with a basket of food and a large blanket to lay in the sand. They were in a hidden spot unseen to other beachgoers with the perfect view of the ocean and the setting sun. It was twilight when he lit the candles for their dinner, feeding each other the small finger food with kisses exchanged in between each bite.

Rose pulled him to his feet so they could walk in the ocean for a little while, just until the sun disappeared below the horizon. When her feet became cold, she hopped on Calum’s back so he could carry her back to the blanket where he draped a second one over her legs while he got a fire started.

He remembers how he froze when he turned around to see her top off, a nipple peeking above the second blanket he gave her, and she flashed him the sweetest smile.

“Come warm me up?”

They created their own sunset between their hearts that night, the smell of ocean air and smoke clouded over their tangled limbs as they made love twice on the beach.

The loud ringing of his phone pulls him from the sweet reverie, he sees it’s his mom and he picks up right away. She asks if there has been any new progress with Rose and he tells her not yet and that she doesn’t have to come watch the dogs because Mike still has them. He promises he’ll call her when Rose does wake up.

He hangs up and is still thinking of the beach when he’s reminded of a poem Lang Leav wrote called ‘High Tide’. He goes to her book and reads out the first line.

“’Are you somewhere looking at the sea, my love?’ Is that where you are, Rosie? By the sea? The sand in your toes, salty seawater spraying your hair?” he chokes up as he gazes at her still face. He grabs her hand in his and kisses it. “Pick a pretty shell for me, okay? What should I read next?”

Five Weeks Later

It’s Thursday afternoon and Calum is doing the routine exercises for Rose, so she doesn’t get bed sores and her muscles don’t atrophy when Ruby enters the room. She is absolutely beaming, her eyes wide and bright accompanied with a huge smile on her face. Surprised at her elation, Calum’s first instinct is to look at her left-hand thinking Ashton proposed to her, but her hand is bare.

“Hey Rube, what’s up?” he asks bending Rose’s fingers down one by one, similar to the tactic of counting a child’s toes as little piggies.

“Ash and I said, ‘I love you.’”

“Really?!” Calum gives her a large smile then massages the palm of Rose’s hand. “That’s fantastic, how’d it happen?”

“We were making breakfast and he just said it,” she smiles breathlessly. “You and Rose were right about that warmth; I feel it everywhere…it’s like I’m floating on air.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you guys.” Calum sets Rose’s arm back down on the bed and moves down to her leg that’s not in a cast.

“We have you two to thank. Rose told me not to be scared and after what you told Ashton last week he said he’s been feeling different. I can’t wait to tell Rose.” Ruby smiles down sadly at her friend

“She’ll be happy to hear about it,” Calum smiles and lifts her leg to do the exercises. Dr. Robbins has said that her external fixator is doing a good job of healing her leg, it’s a slow process but with her current condition, slow is best.

Ruby recounts the whole moment for Calum while he continues the exercises with Rose. Ruby knew something was up because Ashton was being a bit moodier than normal and was acting nervous while they did their morning yoga session. It wasn’t until Ruby started their coffee and she asked for their two mugs did he say it after she said, ‘thank you.’

Calum knows Ashton will probably tell him about it when he comes to visit but it fills him with happiness that his two friends know of the same elation that he and Rose feel. When her exercises are done, and Jane has checked her vitals, Calum and Ruby sit down while he reads more poetry to Rose.

Before he’s about to go to sleep for the night he reads one more poem and notices all of Rose’s underlines in ‘A Letter to My Love’ starting with the word France and the rest as follows:

‘…how we pictured, but it is exactly how it was always meant to be.’

‘But building this life with you has been the grandest adventure.’

‘This is the happiest I have ever been.’

‘With you I have seen all my dreams to into fruition.’

‘All I ask now is for time with you, as much as we are allowed.’

He doesn’t like that last foreboding sentence, as if this time they’ve shared together is all they were allowed. This can’t be it for them. Then her handwriting appears on the page next to it dated the day they got engaged and of their graduation. She wrote an entry.

It’s the day after and Calum is sleeping next to me. He asked me to marry him! I woke up and opened to this poem, fate has been on m side since that day we bumped into each other outside the CBS. He’s my dream I’ve dreamt of since I was a little girl. There are many great loves, but non are greater than mine and his. I felt a flicker in my glow just now…excitement? You’re starting to mumble in your sleep my love, time to wake you up and celebrate our life of forever.

Calum stares at her phrase of ‘flicker in my glow’ did she somehow know about the accident before it even happened? Why else would it flicker? He shifts his gaze to her chest and the red glow is still there, still faint, but no sign of flickering.

Six Weeks Later

Calum is dreaming. Somewhere in his mind, he knows it but won’t wake. He and Rose are at the Dainty Dove. She’s leaning against him in their regular booth with his arm around her shoulders as they share a cup of coffee. She smiles like her familiar rose and rainwater smell; Moonlight Serenade by Frank Sinatra plays softly in the background from the jukebox. Their song from their very first date and they’re the only ones in the joint.

“It’s almost time,” she says twisting her fingers with his.

“Time for what?” he kisses her hair, breathing her in.

“The rain…it’s coming here. I am too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come dance,” she whispers and then suddenly they’re dancing.

The room darkens as clouds roll over outside the restaurant. Calum watches over Rose’s head through the windows in confusion. Rose touches his cheek and he looks down at her.

“Promise me something,” she says.

“Anything.”

“Be patient with me. The rain is coming,” she whispers, and his dream self is befuddled as she leans up on her toes, lips brushing his, “and I’m in close proximity.”

Just before her lips touch his, the rain falls heavily, and her voice lingers in his mind when he wakes up. Just like in his dream, the rain is hitting the windows harshly much like it has been for the last six weeks. The weatherman are calling it an unnatural weather phenomenon and have no real answer for the source of all the rain.

He checks that the time is 4:37 a.m. He rubs his eyes then jerks to a sitting position because Rose’s chest is glowing a burning red with much more strength. It isn’t dim at all, it’s vibrant and strong.

“Rose?!” his legs get tangled in the hospital sheets as he turns on the lights and he swears he sees her eyelashes twitch. “Rosie, baby?” he takes her hand. “Can you hear me? I’m right here, in prox…”

Calum swallows harshly then snatches up his Michael Faudet book opening to the poem titled ‘Proximity.’ He reads the prose quickly about joining the dots from A to B, empty shores and the sea and everything else in between all the way to the end.

‘For what’s real is meant to be, when two hearts beat—in proximity.’

Rose’s finger twitches against his and Calum’s heart skyrockets.

“Rose?” he whispers in shock. “Come on sweetheart, open your eyes for me. I’m right here. I’m here and I love you so much.” He gasps when the orange glow in his chest brightens and her does as well from his proclamation of love. Tears spring in his eyes then two more fingers twitch. “Rose, I’m here. I love you; I love you, come back to me, Rosie.”

Their glows blaze brighter still, something beeps but Calum pays it no mind because Rose’s eyes flutter for a few seconds and then open. Calum stares in astonishment, oh how he’s missed those ocean eyes.

“Rose?” he whispers. She blinks heavily and he’s smashing the nurse’s call button. “She’s awake! Jane! She’s opened her eyes!” he shouts into the speaker then takes her hand in both of his. Happy tears are falling down his cheeks as she comes to. “Hi sweetheart, I’m right here, you’re okay.”

She tries to focus on him, her mouth tries to open to speak but then she chokes on the feeding tube and he panics. He starts shouting some more for help then Jane and Dr. Robbins rush in. They’re quick to remove the tube and fix the alarms screaming on the machines. Jane pushes Calum gently out of the way so they can work, and other nurses arrive in the room.

“Rose, I’m Dr. Robbins,” Dr. Robbins speaks very slowly and clearly, as if she’s talking to a child. “You’re in the hospital and were in an accident. You’ve been asleep for a while but you’re okay.” She flashes a light in her eyes. “Good. Can you blink twice if you understand me?”

Calum watches in amazement as Rose blinks once…then twice ever so slowly. He could leap for joy.

“That’s good,” Dr. Robbins smiles warmly, “You’ve been in a coma for some time so things may be fuzzy. Are you in pain? Blink once for no and twice for yes.”

Rose blinks twice and Calum’s heart plummets. Has she been in silent pain all this time?

“Jane can help with that, she’s your nurse,” Dr. Robbins smiles again. “I’m going to do some quick tests okay?”

While Dr. Robbins does her testing Calum’s fingers are flying as he texts everyone in excitement. He would call but he can’t take his eyes off Rose and it’s extremely early in the morning. He didn’t want to alarm them in a panic when it was actually good news.

***

A few days have gone by, Calum watches silently as Rose goes through more tests to see how well her reflexes are and her strength. Calum only leaves when he gets a phone call from their friends or his mom to give them updates and share their excitement of her finally being awake. Her eyes are always on him with a twinge of confusion in her dark blue eyes. When she speaks, it’s soft and raspy but it’s the voice of angels to Calum. He’s missed her voice so much.

“I know you want to be alone with him, but I have to make sure you’re all right. He won’t go anywhere, I promise,” Dr. Robbins chuckles while she watches the orthopedic doctor check Rose’s leg.

Calum hopes she’ll be able to get the mechanical thing off her now and they can work on physical therapy so she can walk. He knows her recovery process is going to be long and strenuous. She’s been in a coma for six weeks; her body is stiff and probably feels weird to her, but Calum will be with her every step of the way.

Calum takes a step forward, smile on his face at being acknowledged by Dr. Robbins. Rose’s brows furrow in a concerned v.

“Who is he?”

The rain stops, and the clouds part to reveal a bright sun that shines in Rose’s eyes. The bad weather has ceased, and Calum should be happy that the light of his life is back, but a new storm has arrived as Rose stares at Calum like she’s never seen him before in her life.

• • • •

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[rosecolouredash]

hello, Ro! congratulations with one year! do you think it would be possible to draw a neonatal surgeon Calum from my fic, pretty please? 🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much K!!!

I hadn’t had the chance to read Blame so this was so special for me! Thank you for requesting and I hope I did Dr. Hood justice.

[lilacsos]

Day 1: doctor!au

A/N: I’m really excited to post the first instalment of the doctor series. I’ve had a lot of fun planning this out and I hope you all really like this! Let me know if you want to be tagged or fill out the form.

*Warnings*: mentions of childhood cancer, mentions of a car crash, drinking, language

Word Count: 4628

Masterlist  Character Info  Taglist

Day 1

The interns fill the atrium in Sacred Heart Hospital, all of them preparing for the first day. It was a tradition in Sacred Heart for all interns to meet in the atrium as they met their residents and attendings before getting their assignment. With wide eyes and hearts full of hope, the interns took in their surroundings, watching the hustle and bustle of the hospital. Doctors and nurses walked, or in some cases, jogged off to do their job. Every person in this hospital was doing their part in trying to save someone’s life and for the new interns, this was the first day that they would get the chance to do the same. Every single person had a dream that they would save lives, cure cancer, and create a radical new treatment plan. Too bad those dreams would be crushed in a matter of hours. One of the surgical interns, Dr. Awsten Knight, smirked as he took in the chaos. This is exactly what he expected the hospital to be like; people everywhere.

“Welcome to Sacred Heart interns!” The voice of a cheery woman broke out from the muddled conversations and caused the large group to turn and look at her. “This is a very exciting day for you all and we can’t wait for you to join this team! This hospital is amazing and you all have the chance to save lives and work in an amazing environment. This job will build amazing character and give you all the chance to become wonderful people.” This woman had a pretty great speech and some interns took this small speech to heart and it caused a sparkle in their eyes. However, interns like Dr. Knight only rolled their eyes.

“Alright Dr. Buchanan, you can cut the shit.” Another woman spoke up, standing next to the previous woman.

“Holy shit,” Awsten mumbled and turned to the girl next to him. “That’s Dr. Rosario. She’s like the best fucking surgeon at this hospital. They say she’s on the path to becoming head of the surgical department in less than ten years. I’m going to work with her.”

A snort came from a young woman standing behind Awsten. “What makes you think you’ll get to work with Dr. Rosario? She’s amazing and you’re an intern.”

“Well, I graduated best in my class so that has to count for something. And I always get what I want and so if you think I won’t get to work with Rosario, you’re fucking dead wrong.”

“I’m sorry but are we interrupting your conversation?” Rosario's voice caused all sounds in the atrium to cease. Once the other doctors saw it was just Leah yelling at an intern, they went back to their business while Awsten stared at her with wide eyes.

“No ma’am.”

“Good, now as I was saying, this hospital will make or break you. So yes, this could be the start of a wonderful career for you but half of you will leave because it gets too hard and a third of that surviving half will get kicked out because you’re stupid. Don’t be stupid.” Leah took an extra second to glare at Awsten before she continued. “Each of you will meet your resident and throughout the day you’ll meet your attendings and maybe the head of your department. Alright, surgeons go to the third floor, neurologists you go to floor two east wing, oncology is on level five, cardiology you’re on level two west wing, the birthing ward is on the seventh floor, mental health ward is on the eighth floor, and ER, well you’re already here. Go, your resident will meet you there.”

At her dismissal, the crowd broke off, each going to their respective floor.

Day 1: Surgical Interns

Awsten and the rest of the crew made their way to the third floor and at the top of the stairs, they were met with three residents, all who began yelling at the same time. In the chaos and bustle, interns strained to hear their name among the noise. “Knight, Peterson, Williams, Davis, French. You’re with me! Let’s go!” A stern man yelled over the crowd before he began walking away. With a sprint, Awsten ran ahead of the group and reached his resident.

“Hi, I’m Awsten Knight. I just want to let you know that I graduated top of my class and I’m going to be the best intern you have.”

The resident stopped, causing Awsten to crash into his back. “Alright listen up Rookie, I don’t give a shit where you came from or what you did. You and everyone else here are equals. Now, if you want to be cocky, back up your claims.” Once the rest of the group caught up, the man continued. “I’m Dr. Stevens. Now let’s get a few things straight, I’m not your friend. I don’t care about your personal problems. All I care about is that you do not screw up. I’m in charge of you and if you make a mistake it all comes back to me. You do what you’re told and you’ll learn and you’ll thrive. Don’t be cocky, don’t be an ass. Follow me.”

Awsten nodded along with everyone else and followed Dr. Stevens. “No one likes a cocky intern.” The same girl from before whispered as she walked next to Awsten.

“Who the hell are you?” Awsten didn’t care about this girl. She was just another person that doubted him and his talents. She knew nothing about him and he was sick of her already.

“Dr. Peterson. And I think you deserve to be knocked down a few pegs. Just because you graduated top of your class doesn’t mean anything.” She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Just you wait. I’m gonna prove that I’m the best and I’m going to work with Rosario as her equal one day.” Awsten said with a snort before he sped up his pace so he left Peterson behind.

Day 1: Neurology

Calum slipped through the crowd of interns, waving as his attendings and residents pointed him out. Normally Calum would love to stop and share how amazing he is but he was on a mission. Day one of the intern year has it’s traditions for everyone, including heads of the departments. Calum slipped into the elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor, winking at the nurses around him. Calum was stellar at his job and everyone knew it. He was also really hot and so it was no surprise that everyone loved him. With a couple of goodbyes, Calum hopped off the elevator and made a beeline to Dr. Buchanan’s office. Without bothering to knock, Calum strolled into the office and flung himself into one of the chairs.

“Hey there Rosie Posie.”

Rosie rolled her eyes and dropped her folder on her desk. “To what do I owe the honorCal Pal?”

Calum laughed and leaned his elbows on the desk. “Today is day one and you know what that means. We have a tradition. All of Sacred Heart has a tradition and you remember ours don't you?”

Rosie rolled her eyes and picked up her file once again. “Listen here Hood, every head of department makes the same bet every single time. There’s no point.”

“Ok so everyone makes a bet that Hemmings and Webb will get together but we can make an addition to the bet. Let’s bring in everyone from all the departments. Not just department heads and attendings. Let’s throw in the interns and residents from all the floors. Come on Rosie, let’s make this interesting. We can get the other attendings and departments heads in on this too.” Calum grabbed the file out of her hands, easily avoiding Rosie as she tried to take her file back. After a few moments, she gave up her fight and relaxed into her chair. “Think about it. We can even team up this year.”

Rosie sighed and shrugged. “Will this get you to shut up?”

“You have my word.”

“I’ll do this only if we go to Kenny’s Pub and watch the interns get trashed.” Calum and Rosie shared a knowing smirk and shook hands.

“Great, now I have to go crack some skulls so I’ll talk to you later.”

Day 1: Emergency Room

“Alright listen up! My name is Dr. Olivia Mercer and I’ll be your resident. For some odd reason, you all chose to intern in the ER and while that’s amazing for you wanting to be in the thick of it, you’re dumb. This is going to be one of the hardest places you’ll work. You’re here to save lives but the truth is, you can’t save everyone.” The woman said, taking in the hard faces of her interns. “This is difficult and I know but no one said being a doctor was going to be easy. Now, I assume that all of you know what you’re doing?” Without waiting for any answers, Olivia continued. “Good because there was a car crash ten minutes ago and they’re bringing in the victims now.”

Michael stared at Olivia with wide eyes before he quickly snapped into action and followed the other interns to wash up. “What happened?”

Olivia sighed and looked Michael over, taking a mental note that he was the only intern that asked that question. It’s important to know what’s going on so you aren’t going in too blind. “There was a head on collision with a drunk driver. There was a family of five in the van the driver hit. That’s all we know right now. What’s your name?”

“Michael. Michael Clifford.”

“Everyone take note of what Dr. Clifford did. It’s important to try and get as much information as you can.” Olivia smiled at him but her smile faded when the emergency room doors flew open and paramedics wheeled in patients. “Everyone, pair off and take a patient. Dr. Clifford, you’re with me.” Michael nodded and stuck by her side as the other interns made their way to the stretchers. One paramedic brought over a young man in his late twenties and Olivia quickly got to work. “What do we have?”

“Dean Sheppard, 28. He was the drunk driver. We discovered a few broken ribs and a broken wrist on the ride over. But he’s bleeding from his head.”

“Alright, what first Clifford?”

“We need to locate the bleeding from his head to make sure it isn’t too serious.”

“Good. Let’s get to work. Welcome to the ER.”

Day 1: Psych Ward

Vanessa jogged through the halls, searching for room 1068 but the room was nowhere to be found. She just met her resident and while he seemed like a very sweet guy, she couldn’t bother him to tell him she can’t find a room. Besides, it’s not like she could find him in the first place anyway. Vanessa was quickly pulled aside by her resident, Dr. Peter Wong, and told that she won’t be getting any special treatment just because Dr. Irwin was the one who accepted her application. He doesn’t accept many people because while he may be incredibly sweet, he wants the best on his team. Vanessa made the cut while everyone else was here simply because they asked the right people. Everyone knows that you won’t make it in if you apply to Irwin first. He likes recommendations. So not only will she receive no special treatment, she won’t be given any second chances. With a huff and a darting glance to the other end of the hall, Vanessa quickly turned the corner but was stopped by a man. A man who she ran into. Papers flew out of her hand and floated to the floor while Vanessa crashed down, much less gracefully. “I’m so sorry.” She mumbled as she crawled around the floor, gathering all her papers. “I should have been looking where I was going and so this is all my fault.”

“Are you lost?” The man asked as he handed her a stack of papers he had grabbed.

“Is it that easy to tell?” She laughed awkwardly before she sighed. “It’s my first day here and I have no idea where I’m going. My first day as an intern and I’m already messing up.”

“What’s your name?”

“Vanessa Calhoun.” She stated before finally looking up at the man with her hand held out. When she caught sight of his face she thought her heart stopped. This was Dr. Ashton Irwin and not only did she run into him and fall onto her butt in front of him, she admitted she was lost. He was head of the department and he was the one that accepted her application and she just told him what a mess she is. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Dr. Irwin. I didn’t know it was you and if I had I would have- I would have, I don’t know.”

“Would have hit me harder?” He asked with a laugh as he took her outstretched hand and pulled her to her feet. “Don’t worry Vanessa. It’s completely fine. Every intern gets a little lost on their first day. What room are you looking for?”

Vanessa blinked quickly as she listened to him speak. “Uh, room 1068, Dr. Irwin.”

“Ah, Elizabeth has been with us for a long time. I can take you to her. And please, call me Ashton.” Vanessa opened her mouth to thank him but he began walking in the opposite direction she had been going the whole time. With a shake of her head and a short pep talk to herself, she ran after Ashton.

Day 1: P.I.C.U

Luke smiled at the Leigh family before he backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. James Leigh was ten and he had come in because of some stomach pain. After a pretty quick look, they discovered that James had swallowed the head of one of his sister’s dolls. It wasn’t passing through his system and so they needed to do a surgical procedure to remove the doll part. Luke was just happy that he didn’t have to tell another parent that their child has cancer.

“Dr. Hemmings!” A young woman yelled, catching his attention. It was one of the nurses on the floor and he hated to admit but her name escaped him.

“Hey, what can I do for you?” Luke asked, deciding it would be best not to guess her name and get it wrong.

“Well, I was wondering if you were free tonight? I know it’s against the rules for an attending to go on a date with any of his employees but I was thinking we could go to Kenny’s Pub. The whole hospital will be there so it won’t really look like a date if anyone sees us.” She smiled and leaned against the wall, her eyes full of hope.

“I’m so sorry but rules are rules. It wouldn’t be right of me to go on a date with you. I hope you understand. Besides, I’m working late tonight so I won’t make it to the bar anyway.” Luke waved her off before he made an escape to his office. He lied to her but really, what was he going to do? He was planning on going to the bar but he wanted to go with Marjorie. She was his best friend and after the day he had, he needed to be cheered up and she was the best at that. He slipped into his office and leaned against his closed door, shutting his eyes as he did.

“Karen try asking you out again?” He jumped at the voice but quickly relaxed as he saw Dr. Webb.

“That’s her name?” He sighed and plopped down in the seat next to her.

“Luke, this girl has been asking you out for like a year and you can’t remember her name? That’s quite rude of you.” Luke only rolled his eyes and laid his head on her shoulder. “Hard case?”

“A three year old has terminal cancer. There’s nothing I can do for him or the family. I feel so shitty knowing that I can’t fix this. And what sucks even more is that I know I’ll have more cases like this and the day only just started.” Luke closed his eyes as Marjorie’s fingers began threading through his hair.

“I know bubs but it’s life. You know what will cheer you up? Calum and Rosie have added a few rules to the bet. They’re including the whole hospital. And they’ll be at Kenny’s tonight. You know how dumb Calum is when he drinks.”

Luke chuckled but it left as soon as it came. “Karen wanted to take me to Kenny’s. I can’t go now. I told her I was working late.”

“You can still go. We just need to disguise you. I think I have a wig I can give you.”

Luke tugged away from her and snorted. “You’re very funny. I don’t need a wig.”

“So, you’ll accompany me to Kenny’s and watch the interns get drunk out of their mind?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Drunk interns are the best interns.”

Word about the addition to the bet that Calum made quickly spread through the hospital and soon enough, everyone knew the bet. Well, every attending and department head. However, all of the interns now knew that it was a tradition for them to all go to Kenny’s Pub after their first shift. A few interns always make the mistake of getting completely wasted and then have to show up the next morning for work hungover but no one bothers to stop them. Every other person in the hospital that was in the intern program has done it and so it’s fun for them to watch it happen to others.

The bar was packed to the brim with doctors, nurses, and everyone in between. Kenny, the owner, had to pull out some tables to set up out in the front and the back to make room for everyone. For the moment, most of the people in the room were interns with a few attendings and residents scattered here and there.

“This is so dumb. You talk a big game and apparently, you can back it up too? What surgery did you even get to do today?” Vanessa asked Awsten with a snort as she took a sip from her drink.

“I told everyone that I’m amazing and it’s your fault if you didn’t believe me. I got to take a babydoll head out of some kid. On my first day! Do you know how many people get to say that? Not many.” Awsten yelled and threw his arms in the air. “I’m incredible!”

Michael laughed and rolled his eyes. “Dude, just because you have a horn doesn’t mean you have to toot it. I’m sure everyone had a fun day today. What did you do Nessa?”

Vanessa sighed and ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “I ran into Dr. Irwin. Like body slammed him in the hallway. Do you know who he is? He’s head of the psych department and my boss.”

“I heard that Irwin doesn’t ever take applications unless they have a good recommendation. But he let you in without one? That’s pretty cool though so he must have a lot of faith in you.” Michael shrugged, trying his best to cheer Vanessa’s mood. “Was he mad?”

“No! He was beyond nice and he told me to call him Ashton! How can this guy be nice, successful, and handsome?”

“Talking about me?” Awsten piped up, earning him a gentle smack on the arm. “Look, if Irwin didn’t shit on you for running into him then you’re fine.”

Before Vanessa could express her worries, the door to the bar opened, catching her attention. Calum Hood was the first person that came in, followed by Rosie, Leah, Luke, and Marjorie. The five made their way over to a booth behind Vanessa and the boys, all of them wrapped up in a conversation. Without much thought, Awsten spun around and climbed onto his knees, coming face to face with Leah.

“Dr. Rosario, I just want to say sorry for talking at the same time as you earlier. I was just so excited to have the chance to possibly work with you that I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” Awsten chuckled, hoping that he could win Leah’s favor.

“Don’t do it again Knight. I’ll end your career. Stop talking to me.” She huffed and rolled her eyes, turning her attention to Marjorie.

Awsten sat back in his seat without another word and stared down at his table. Michael couldn’t help but laugh a little at Awsten’s saddened expression. “Nice try buddy.” He mumbled as he looked back at the door, seeing a few more people come in. Olivia, Ashton, and some random blonde came in next. Ashton slipped his arm around the blonde girl and Michael elbowed Vanessa in the side. “Nessa, look.” He whispered, keeping his voice down in a hope to make sure his bosses couldn’t hear him. “I heard from one of the P.I.C.U interns that she’s Irwin’s girlfriend. But I heard Hemmings fucking hates her because she’s been cheating on Irwin. Crazy right?”

Vanessa sighed and looked at Michael with a frown. “Did you think this was going to cheer me up?”

Defeated, Michael laid his head on the table and watched Olivia and Ashton make their way to the other table. Luke stood up from his seat and let Olivia scoot in so she could sit next to the girls. Once she was comfortable, Luke sat back down while Ashton sat across from him. “Chloe already ditch you?”

“Shut up Luke. She’s a good person. Leave my girlfriend out of this.” Michael could hear the frustration in his voice and he could only assume that this topic has come up before. “Besides, at least I have a girlfriend. Do you know what all the interns are calling you?”

Marjorie laughed as she answered his question. “Lu, the girls are calling you Dr. Hunky.” At this, Luke groaned and Michael stood, preparing to go to the bar to get more drinks but he was stopped by Olivia.

“Dr. Clifford. Glad to see you here. Ladies and gents, this is Dr. Michael Clifford. He was partnered up with me during the crash victims and he did an amazing job. I think I have the best intern.” Olivia smiled brightly as Michael’s cheeks flushed a bright red.

“Thank you Dr. Mercer.” He muttered before he ran off to the bar.

“I think you scared him.” Calum chuckled and wrapped his arm around Rosie and Leah’s shoulders. However, Leah quickly tore his arm off of her and downed her drink. “You gonna try to get with the intern?”

“God no! Calum, I can’t do that. He’s an intern and I have a boyfriend.” Olivia huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“A shitty boyfriend,” Marjorie grumbled into her drink, ignoring the glare she received from Olivia.

“Look, let’s get back to you thinking your intern is the best. Clearly, you’re wrong Olivia.” Ashton piped up, which caused Vanessa to look at Awsten with wide eyes, wondering if he was going to talk about her. “Vanessa Calhoun is incredible. She’s amazing with her patients and she knows her shit.” Vanessa’s cheeks burned bright red as she sunk down into her seat. The praise would be great if it wasn’t happening now. She was a little tipsy and she was almost certain that Ashton didn’t know that she was there, listening to him.

“She ran into you right?” Luke asked, laughing as Ashton nodded. “Well, at least she’s good with the patients. You accepted her without a letter of rec yeah?” With another nod from Ashton, Luke continued. “So she either must show a ton of promise or she’s shit but can be taught. And with the way you talked about her, I think you found a genius. What about you Leah? Any fun interns?”

“I haven’t dealt with many today and I don’t want to deal with them ever again.” Awsten could feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of his head and he too began to sink down in his seat. “Let’s just say I always get the cocky interns.”

“That’s what you get for going into surgery,” Marjorie said with a shrug, her head coming to rest on Luke’s shoulder.

Michael returned from the bar and noticed the tops of his friends’ heads peeking above the table. “Is there any reason why you both are on the floor?” There was no verbal answer from either of them but Vanessa did point behind her. Michael followed her direction and nodded in understanding. “Bosses talking about you?”

“Yep.” Leah snorted as she grabbed the drink sitting in front of Ashton. At his annoyed expression, Leah sighed and took a sip. “You’re DD, shut up.”

Michael took a seat next to Awsten and handed him a drink. “To be fair Awsten, you did interrupt her.” With a groan of embarrassment, Awsten took a sip of his drink and glared at his newfound friend.

“Fuck you pal. I hope you get a crazy dude in the ER tomorrow.”

The rest of the evening for the three interns was spent trying to listen in on their boss’ conversation without being too obvious. There wasn’t much the interns learned about their attendings, residents, and heads of departments. They really only talked about their cases and while that is very interesting, this wasn’t what they wanted to hear about. Just before the three of them decided to call it a night, there was the sound of rustling behind them. The other doctors were all gathering their things and preparing to leave.

“Dr. Calhoun, I didn’t know you were here. You did an amazing job today.” Ashton smiled as he caught sight of Vanessa. However, Vanessa sat there with her mouth wide open as she looked at her boss. She couldn’t find the words to answer him but luckily for her, Michael was happy to answer for her.

“Please excuse Nessa, she gets a little nervous.” Michael chuckled and dodged the punch Vanessa tried to land.

“Nessa? That’s cute. Ashton, intern or not, we like her and she’s cute.”

“Alright, Jorie it’s time for you to go., Ashton mumbled and blushed darkly, pushing his friends out of the bar. Michael smiled at his friends, helping both of them stand on their feet.

“That could have been much worse. Besides, it’s getting late and if we’re planning to be the only interns without a hangover, it’s time we get going.” Michael threw his arms around Vanessa’s and Awsten’s shoulders, carefully leading them out to the front of the bar so they could each get a cab ride home. “You know, they say this intern year could really break us and make us go home, crying and working somewhere easier. They also say that the friends you make this year will be your friends for life.”

“So I’m stuck with him?” Vanessa sighed and looked past Michael and right at Awsten.

“You love me.” He said with a smirk, leaning against the wall behind him. His smirk quickly fell as he dove into his thoughts. “Do you really think we’ll survive the year?” As if realizing he said all of this outloud, awsten quickly added, “I mean I know I will but what about you two?”

Michael and Vanessa shared a knowing look before Michael answered, “We have each other. I think we’re gonna be just fine.”

Tags: (still tagging my normal taglist hit me up if you don’t wanna be tagged)

@thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @emilyxvalentyne  @lustingfor5sos @mycollectionofnuts @ohhmuke @softboycal @norawashere @who-do-you-love-5sos @aftermidnightclifford @astrosashton @katiaw2 @littlesinnersins @bbyboyycal @rosecoloredash  @buggy-blogs​

[footieaucalum]

doctor!Calum

this was inspired by Grey's Anatomy so enjoy!

big attending cardio surgeon calum hood falling in love with little resident you after you spent a week on his service. he had recently moved to grey-sloan memorial and every one thought that he was beautiful, the interns call him McDreamy. but as soon as he saw how good you were at cardio during a surgery with you, he was hooked. he was in awe of how quickly you could think, how fast your hands would move, and overall how smart you are. he would quickly ask you on a date outside of the hospital just to try to see you out of scrubs and you would definitely say yes because woah those eyes. your first date would go great and you two would keep seeing each other all the time, Dr. Hood would request you on his service every week and your chief resident would be pissed because she also thought he was dreamy. the rest of the hospital dreamed of being the one that he would spend time in the on-call room, but you knew you were lucky. his tattoos that he kept hidden under his scrubs and coat would drive you insane when you're in the OR with him. you'd catch yourself dreaming about his quick moving fingers being inside you while during surgery with him. if you weren't into to cardio before, you definitely are now after after Dr. Hood showed you his skills.

[outerspaceisbetterthannothing]

okay, i'm not trying to come up as an arrogant bitch (which i probably am, let's face facts, and i am sorry about that), but here's the deal

i know y'all love alpha!cal and i mean, i totally get it. i love tgwcw series just as much as you do

i also know that "Blame" isn't smut and the whole plot is built around quite a dramatic experience

but i've just reread what i've written for the next chap AND IT'S SO FREAKING GOOD*

*yes, sad and tragic, but so so so good

i do believe that "Blame" is the best shit i've written so far and if you have just started following me or you have been for a while but hasn't given it a go, please, take a look at this fic, i'm sure you won't regret it*

*unless you have problems with the topic of infants death and that can be a trigger for you. then TRIGGER WARNING - infants death and suffering a loss

i just love this story that much and i want other ppl to show it a little loving. kay, thank you, i'll go now

[singt0mecalum]

uGH I absolutely LOVE the medical!SOS concept. Like COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT WHAT DEPARTMENT I THINK THEY'D BE IN. How about we through in a little Grey's Anatomy in this blurb/headcannon/imagines/whatever and make it where the docs (the boys...ahem...men) are all smitten with the reader who can be like a badass surgeon who on a daily basis after they finish surgery is like "Take lessons boys" and they're like DAMN...THAT'S HOT.

kayla yes also sorry for the delay (sidenote: i restarted grey’s halfway through your blurb to get into the mood for this and got distracted rip)

okay so the boys:

michael: peds. mikey would be great with the kids. i mean between the games and hair. also have you seen him? boy RADIATES soft. kids would just take to him.

luke: 10/10 he belongs in plastics. have you seen him? literal perfection. and that nose? HAS to be fake. mcsteamy through and through.

ashton: boy strikes me as more general than specialty tbh. he’s everyone’s go-to, always reliable. he could have specialized if he wanted to but chose not to.

calum: he’s the mcdreamy of the bunch. neuro genius. one of the top, if not number one, neuro surgeon in the world.

okay so imagine:

let’s say you’re a cardio goddess. tied for number one of your class at yale med. tied of course with the neuro god that is calum hood. closely followed in ranks by his best friends michael and luke. (ashton had already graduated) maybe y’all had ended up at different hospitals for your residencies and fellowships so y’all hadn’t seen each other in years- enough time had passed that he wouldn’t have recognized you. you were banking on that fact when you got called in to do a procedure on a patient at the hospital in which he was head of neuro. you knew there was a hype around the procedure. it was a huge one that didn’t happen often, so everybody was jittery with anticipation. you were heading straight into surgery as soon as your plane landed and weren’t going to have time to talk to anyone but the hospitals head of cardio and chief of surgery. it was going to be a long one with a minimum time of 10 hours, but you were estimating it taking closer to 17. you knew the OR observatory was going to be full but you were ready. you had been prepping for over a month now. surgery came and went and it was a breeze- calum, luke, michael, and ashton all pretty much drooling and gushing over how talented you were. the fact that you were hot was a plus. when you were getting ready to walk out of the OR you could hear the boys chatting about you outside. you breeze past them as you walk out, “take note boys. you could obviously stand to learn a thing or two since we graduated.” they’re obviously all shook bc hot damn, you’re literal perfection with a scalpel AND you’ve got looks and confidence to boot. and they’d be lying if they said they didn’t use “catching up” as a reason to ask you out to dinner and drinks later to get to know you more.

(asjdaiefjka sorry this sucks. i was so inspired and then got so distracted before i could finish)

[softforcal]

Nascar and Neuro : Cashton

summary: You’re dating Nascar!Ashton and whenever he gets injured or even slightly battered in his car, he has to go see Neuro Surgeon!Cal. You and Ash get used to Cal and there’s obviously a spark between all three of you.

word count: 3.5K

warnings: me trying to not be an awkward fuck writing smut. kinky threesome sex, DP, choking, all that jazz. once again, i know nothing about Nascar or actually working in a hospital. 

You waited with the medical team as Ashton’s car pulled up. The car door opened and you ran towards him, throwing your arms over your mans shoulders as your legs wrapped around his waist.

he chuckled and the sound vibrated through your being as you pressed your face against his neck. He had that distinct burnt rubber kind of smell that always reminded you of the track. 

“Mr. Irwin.” one of the medics sighed, “due to the small collision and possibility of whiplash we need to escort you to the hospital for a quick Neurology check with your Doctor.” 

Ashton sighed as he set you on the ground, “fine, but I’m not getting in the ambulance.” 

“Mr. Irwin, you can’t drive until we know for sure you’re not concussed-” the medic began but you held up a hand, “i’ll drive. don’t worry, we’ve seen Dr. Hood a lot. we know how to get there.”

the medic sighed but nodded, knowing he couldn’t argue with you or Ashton. Ashton’s arm went over your shoulders as the two of you walked through the arena to the private parking for the drivers and he tossed you the keys as you got into the front seat.

“are you feeling okay?” you asked, starting the engine.

“my head hurts a bit.” Ashton confessed, letting out a long sigh as he ran a hand through those gorgeous honey curls before his hand came to rest on your thigh.

You drove to the hospital, teasing the speed limit as Ashton grinned at how you drove. he was the professional but he made sure he taught you a thing or two. on your first date he had driven you out to a long dirt road and taught you how to properly drive a stick shift which could have been a super terrible mansplaining thing but with Ashton it wasnt. the pride in his eyes when you figured it out would be stuck in your mind forever because in that moment, on that first date, you knew this was a guy trying to find a partner. an equal. 

you parked and the two of you walked into the Hospital, Ashton’s arm over your shoulder as always.

the receptionists knew you and Ash by now. you came in after most races since Ashton was a target for other drivers, he was the one to beat. there were so many possibilities of neuro issues that Nascar figured they might as well just have a Nuero specialist regular who would know Ashton and know if something was wrong.

and that was Doctor Hood.

Like Ashton, Doctor Hood was young for his profession. which, like Ashton, was a testament to his abilities.

Ash had been seeing him for about a year. the first time you walked into Ash’s room at the hospital, you had noticed how cute the doctor was.

Beautiful tan skin, gorgeous dark hair and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. not to mention the tattoos on his hands that always made you think he had a wild side and wonder how many more he had.

as the nurse showed you to your room, Ashton took a seat on the bed and you stood between his legs, running your fingers through his hair. “my beautiful race car baby.” you smiled, fingers brushing over his face as he looked up at you adoringly.

“i think you should kiss it better.” Ashton smiled.

“tell me where it hurts.” 

he pointed to his mouth and you smiled before leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. his hands went to your bum as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

a cough made you tear yourself away from Ashton, who tried to follow you with his lips but sighed when he realized you weren’t going to continue kissing him. 

“Dr. Hood.” you greeted.

“i tell you every time, you can call me Calum.” the young doctor said, picking up Ashton’s chart. “so the other car bumped into yours, correct?”

“yup.” Ashton said.

you moved out of Calum’s way so he could come over and check Ashton out, “how are you feeling?” he used a light to check Ashton’s pupils.

“my head hurts a bit.” Ashton answered.

“how about your neck.” Calum asked, hands coming to gently touch the area around where Ashton’s jaw met his neck. 

“necks fine.” Ashton sighed. 

“so you have a head ache. how about dizziness, nausea, sensitivity to noise?” 

“no, no and no.”

“okay well you look to be fine but because of your history with concussions and the fact that i’ve seen you three times this month already, i’m going to recommend that you stay over night for observation.” Calum said, “i’ll get a nurse to bring a cot for you, Y/N.”

“thank you Doctor Hood.” you smiled warmly.

he smiled back, “if either of you need anything, here is my personal phone number, give me a message and i’ll be here as soon as i can.” he handed Ashton a card as he turned and left.

as soon as he was gone you sat next to Ashton on the bed, “i’m going to run home and grab an overnight bag so you can change out of your track suit.”

“you love my track suit.” he grinned.

“it’s true. but there’s no need for you to sponsor ADIDAS right now, i’m sure you’d be more comfortable in your sweats.” you kissed him softly, “i’ll be back soon, okay babe?”

***

you walked back into the hospital, a bag of stuff for you and Ashton in your hands. as you approached Ashton’s room you heard voices and stopped in the doorway to see Calum talking to Ashton.

“is he okay?” you asked, not sure why else Calum would be there.

“i’m fine. just bored.” Ashton sighed, “and hungry.”

“let me go grab you some food.” you suggested.

“thanks babe. i’m thinking pizza.” 

Calum laughed, “you don’t want hospital pizza mate.” Cal came to stand next to you at the door, “look, i’ll go with Y/N and grab you something off the secret menu.” 

“deal.”

Calum’s hand went to the small of your back as the two of you left the room and he directed you down the winding hallways to the cafeteria. as the two of you got in the small line of mostly faculty, you turned to Calum, “he’s going to be okay right? if something was wrong... you’d let me know.”

“a headache could be caused by anything. dehydration, anxiety, you name it. its quite likely he’ll be fine. i just want to make sure.” Calum assured you as he removed his hand from the small of your back.

“so you’ve been Ashton’s doctor a year now and you have no idea how hard it’s been for me to not ask you about these tattoos.” you said, grabbing one of his hands again to look at the letters. “what do they mean?”

“they’re my parents initials.” he explained, “nothing special.”

“no, i love them.” you said, “do you have anymore?”

he laughed, “i do. but i can’t show you them here.”

“maybe another time then.” you answered.

you got to the front of the line and Calum smiled at the lady working who grinned back, obviously Cal was a charmer. “we’ll have three sandwiches from the secret menu.” Calum whispered, looking at you and winking as the worker laughed.

“you’re lucky you have this guy with you, our secret items are VIP only.” she whispered to you.

you pulled out your wallet and Calum held up a hand but before he could say anything you stated: “Calum. i am buying.”

he looked at you, taken aback slightly. this was the first time he’d heard his name on your lips and he liked it.

he knew this whole situation was weird. after all, he was your boyfriends doctor. he had no idea how long the two of you had been together but you’d been together the whole year he’d known you both.

you and Ashton were a beautiful couple. 

from the first visit Cal had began writing down when Ashton had races so he could get himself ready to see the two of you. it was a whole ordeal for him. the waiting sucked but it was always worth it when he walked into that room and was finally able to bask in the sunshine that was you and Ashton.

the things he’d witnessed always made his heart soar, little glimpses into you and Ashton’s relationship. that one time he walked in to see you on top of Ashton on that hospital bed... Calum had been grateful for his long white lab coat and the deserted on call room.

and then walking in on you and Ashton kissing that morning... well, it had almost begun to hurt. 

it hurt because he couldn’t really do anything about it. being a neuro surgeon was hard enough as it was without having a complicated maybe relationship with a nascar driver and his super hot girlfriend. and thats if you and Ashton were even down for it, which he had no idea if you were.

polyamory had been a thing at the start of his residency at the hospital. surgeons never had time to really commit to a full relationship so having more than one lover made things easier. he was used to the idea. but a lot of people wouldn’t be and he was okay with that.

but you were showing interest in the tattoos. and Calum wanted, more than anything, to take this as a sign. a sign that maybe there was hope.

as he looked at your determined face as you paid for the food his heart thumped in his chest and he sighed. “you okay?” you asked, having heard his sigh.

“just tired.” he smiled.

you picked up the tray with the three sandwiches and turned to Calum, “okay, don’t help me, i can find the way back.”

he allowed you to walk a few steps in front of him as you maneuvered your way back to Ashton’s room. you set the tray down on the bedside table, noticing Ashton had changed into sweatpants and a hoodie, “you joining us mate?” Ashton asked, noticing the three sandwiches. 

“unless you have any big shot neuro surgeries or patients-” you began to make excuses for Calum in case he needed an easy way out.

“it’s really against protocol-” Calum began.

“well my head is sort of hurting again so i think you should stay to make sure i’m okay.” Ashton flashed a cheeky grin and Calum laughed, pulling up a chair next to yours and the bed.

“so why did you go into medicine and not modelling?” you asked making Ashton burst out laughing and Cal rub nervously at the tattoos on his hands.

“um... i like taking care of people.” Calum explained.

“you’re good at it.” Ashton said, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

Calum began to relax and he finished his sandwich before he got a message about a neuro consult and had to leave. you and Ashton watched him leave and you sighed, “pretty sure he’s single.”

“it would suck if he isn't.” Ashton said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“are you sure we’re ready for this Ash?” you asked, twirling a piece of his hair around your finger.

“we have enough love to go around.” he grinned, pressing a kiss against your lips.

“especially for the hot doctor.” you agreed. 

you both finished your sandwiches and you crawled into the bed next to him, sitting between his legs with your back against his chest as his arms wrapped around you. 

****

it was around two AM when Calum exited his surgery. it had been successful and his blood was pumping through his body like he was on fire. as he turned a corner he bumped straight into you and Ashton.

his eye brows furrowed as he steadied you, “are you two alright?” he asked, “why are you out of your room?”

“we were looking for you.” You answered, “are you off work?”

“will be in a minute. was about to head to an on call room for some sleep, next shift starts at seven.” he explained.

“you’re here a lot aren’t you mate?” Ashton grinned.

“on call rooms arent so bad.” Calum shrugged.

“i bet they’re better than the patient rooms.” you said, “how about you show us which on call room you usually go to.”

the way you were smiling was suggestive and your tone confirmed his suspicion. you and Ashton wanted to go to an on call room. with him.

Calum’s heart raced in his chest even more. any other time of the day he might have said no. might have put his work at the highest point of importance. but it was a night shift. and no one was really around. and he was on call anyways...

and damn, that surgery had gone so well and Calum could still feel the adrenaline tingling over his skin like buzzing bees. and then he was leading you and Ashton to his favourite on call room.

the room was off to the side, secluded. Cal knew he was practically the only surgeon who used it. he opened the door and let the two of you in before following, closing and locking the door. 

“wanna see those tattoos Cal.” you said as you pressed your lips against his.

his back hit the door as his hands cupped your face, fingers lacing through that beautiful hair he’s wanted to touch for so long. 

your hands tore off his scrub shirt and your fingers traced over the tattoos on his chest, running down his abdomen and making him groan against your mouth as you teased his skin.

Ashton had come up behind you, hands on your waist as his lips sucked at your neck. his movements earned a moan from you and the sound was music to Calum’s ears.

Ashton tore off your shirt and pushed down your pants. as a race car driver, Ash liked things fast and neither you nor Cal were complaining. 

Meanwhile, Calum reached around you and unhooked your bra, tearing it off you so his hands could explore your body. His fingers brushed over your nipple and you groaned into his mouth, Ashton’s hands pushing down your panties.

Ashton’s lips on your neck drew your attention to him as you turned around to pay a bit more attention to him. You pressed your ass back against Cal’s dick as you pulled off Ashton’s hoodie and pushed down his sweats.

His lips attacked yours as his hands went into you hair, pulling slightly so he could move your head and gain access to your neck. Calum’s hand slipped down the front of your body as he began to rub your clit, making you moan loudly.

suddenly two fingers were in your mouth and you felt Calum’s erratic breath against your eat, “can’t be too loud gorgeous.” 

One of his fingers slipped inside of you as you groaned around the fingers in your mouth. 

“too slow.” Ashton stated as he bent down slightly to lift you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you over to the bed, tossing you down on it before he kissed down your body, tongue teasing your already worked up pussy. 

your fingers tangled in his curls while Calum watched, still breathing heavily, heart racing. the small sounds you were making were deliciously sinful and it was obvious that Ashton had made you cum by the way your eyes closed and your back arched.

Ashton pulled away from you with a grin, looking over at Calum, “you going to join or what?”

He reached over to his hoodie and pulled out a bottle of lube and Calum realized this whole thing had been really planned out. unless Ashton just carried around lube 24/7 but Calum doubted that.

you opened your arms, beckoning Calum to the bed, “take off your pants and lay down.” you instructed.

Calum opened his mouth, not used to being told what to do. but he followed your instructions, even accepting the condom Ash threw at him,  then he laid down as you got on top of him. your lips immediately attached to his again and his hands went to your waist as you ground down against him. he could feel how wet you were and let out a long moan.

you reached between your bodies, lining him up at your entrance before sinking down. you both just revelled in the feeling for a moments before his hands on your hips urged you to begin bouncing up and down. 

Calum’s head fell back against the pillows as his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling.

You leaned forward and your lips attached to his beautiful neck, biting lightly before using your tongue to sooth the skin.

Ashton had come on the bed behind you and was getting you ready for him as well, when he thought you were good, you slowed your movements and Calum pulled your lips to his to distract you a little while Ashton pushed into you.

you were all still for a moment, letting you get used to the feeling. Ashton gave an exploratory thrust and you all moaned in unison, your fingers digging into Calum’s shoulders. 

they began moving in and out of you at opposite intervals, a rhythm that they picked up almost naturally. one of Calum’s beautiful tattooed hands wrapped around your throat and you let out a devastated whine at the feeling.

a loud smack echoed through the room as Ashton’s hand came down on your ass causing you to clench around both of them. 

Ashton had always had a gruelling, rough, fast pace and you were used to that. But Calum did too. getting wrecked by both of them at once was driving you wild, especially with Calum’s hand around your neck and Ashton hands smacking your ass.

“fuck Princess, i’m not going to last much longer.” Ashton growled from behind you.

“me neither.” Calum agreed.

you moaned louder as their speeds somehow quickened even more, gripping Calum’s shoulders to anchor yourself as their thrusts became sporadic.

Calum let go of your neck and pulled your lips to his, eyes clenching while Ashton’s grip on your waist reached bruising levels. they both groaned loudly as they came, slowing down.

you all stayed in that position for a few moments before Ashton pulled out of you and you rolled onto the bed next to Calum. you were all breathing heavily as Ashton threw his condom away. you and Calum made room for him on the bed as you curled against Calum’s chest, Ashton slipping in behind you and pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“how’s your head feeling?” Calum asked, breaking the silence.

Ashton laughed, “fine. i had a bit of a head ache before but it’s gone now.”

“Sex can cure head aches.” Calum mused.

the sound of beeping drew all of your attentions to Calum’s phone, sitting on top of his scrubs, “shit.” he cursed, sitting up, “i probably have to go.” he threw away his condom and picked up his phone, hastily pulling on his scrubs, “okay there’s an emergency so i have to go but you two can’t stay here. do you know your way back to your room?”

“yeah we’ll be fine.” you assured him, standing and pressing a kiss to his lips, “go fix a brain or something Doctor.”

he laughed, a small blush creeping over his skin. he unlocked the door and left while you and Ashton put your clothes back on. Ashton’s fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, “that was fun.” he mused, kissing you softly. 

his fingers intertwined with yours as the two of you snuck out of the on call room back to Ashtons room where you fell asleep cuddled together.

****

it was morning when Calum showed up, holding Ashton’s file in his hands, “how are you feeling?” he asked, “any head aches, dizziness-”

“nope, i’m great.” Ashton answered.

Calum looked up from the file at the two of you for the first time and he grinned, knowing all of you were thinking about the on call room. it was a dirty little secret and the tension was even worse than before.

“well, you’re good to go then.” Calum sighed.

Ashton stood and the two of you gathered your things, “see you in a month or so.” Ashton grinned as he brushed past Cal.

you followed and smiled, “oh, and nice hickie doctor.”

Calum’s heart dropped as he turned to look in the mirror, noticing the purple welt adoring the column of his neck. “fuck” he swore under his breath. he had just did an emergency craniotomy with a fucking hickie on his throat. 

he watched you and Ashton grin hand in hand and he laughed to himself. the two of you would be back, that much was certain and if the sex was that kinky the first time? well, Calum could only imagine what would happen next time.