#sure therell be a lot of ups and downs knowing me

[artanogon]

beginning to wonder if i should take the kind of approach to life where instead of trying to tamp down the crazy i decide to be crazy anyways. but it's the sexy kind of crazy where i'm wild and free and authentic and too much to handle and i do reckless things like jump out of planes and wrestle my friends in the street and learn how to yell again and associate yelling with joy. like maybe i'm gonna be mental but i'm gonna turn my anger into driving reckless and throwing myself into romantic relationships and kissing whoever and learning how to fistfight and pushing pushing pushing. maybe im a hurricane. but maybe some people love me for that hurricane

[nessieart]

Teeth pt. 9

|| Before the Fall part 2 ||

WC: 4.3k

AN: Listen here, CA:TWS is my favorite mcu movie ok? And we’re in it now. I wasnt really sure i wanted to go this route, but now i am. Dont worry, therell be more tony soon! Promise! Thanks for following along with me and my writing journey! It means a lot to me! Enjoy!

Eventual Tony x Reader. But first, best friend!Steve!

Summary: Museum date (its not a date, Tony!) with Steve, you learn more about him and his past.

Masterlist

Previous || First || Next>>

-*-

It was a warm and sunny spring afternoon when you exited your brother's apartment. You wore dark colored jeans and a t-shirt with flowers littered on the front. Artie’s old flannel tied tight around your waist, and old boots from the back of Leon’s closet were on your feet that fit pretty well.

When you looked up, Steve sat atop a motorcycle, legs crossed at the ankle as he wrote something in his little notebook. He wears jeans and a jacket over a white t-shirt. He must have heard the apartment door close, because he looked up at you and smiled, he placed his notebook in his pocket and stood.

Steve greeted you with a hello and a hug, he straddled his bike and waited for you to get comfortable behind him before the motorcycle roared to life and he made his way through traffic towards the Smithsonian. After Steve found parking and you two made your way to the museum, he pulled a ball cap from his pocket and placed it low on his head, ducking his head down to avoid eye contact with passersby.

As you entered the exhibit in the Air and Space Museum, you were a giddy, bouncing ball of fluff. Or you would be if you could Shift. Along the walls as you entered were giant murals. A big “Welcome Back, Cap,” with a description of Steve in his days before he got the serum and enlisted in the military.

Over the speakers, as you entered, a narrator spoke, “A symbol to the nation, a hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery, and sacrifice. Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American Warfare. One that would transform him into the world's first Super Soldier.”

You noticed there were pictures on the wall of Steve pre and post serum. The pre-serum Steve was only an inch or so taller than you are now. Steve had stopped and looked over to a little boy - who you could see - who clearly recognized who he was. Steve brought a finger to his lips with a quiet shh, and the little boy only stared in awe and nodded. You smiled to yourself.

Steve grabbed your hand and tugged you along further into the exhibit. There were a few dozen people milling around, pointing at old memorabilia and taking photos of old uniforms and the like. Steve stopped in front of the Howling Commandos display. All his old war buddies uniforms and faces up for show.

Steve had a solemn look on his face and he sighed deeply. This must be very surreal for him. His whole life is on display for other people. You’re not sure how he feels, but you can take a guess. He’s trying not to appear sad, but you can smell it on him, his scent tart instead of the soothing cedar he usually smells of.

“What were they like?” You asked, making your way closer to the display. You could see the names of each Commando near their feet, but you wanted to know what Steve would say.

“A bunch of rowdy men,” he smiles softly, “with a drinking problem and itchy trigger fingers for Nazis,” Steve shook his head. As he looked up, his eyes lingered on the figure to the right.

The man was handsome, it may be a blown up painting, but his features were well captured. Sharp cheekbones and jawline with a dimpled chin. You couldn't tell if his eyes were blue or brown from the painting. “Who’s that?”

“Bucky,” he said quietly. Steve pulled you over to the display across the floor. A giant glass mural of a man named James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers, were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his Country.” The narrator spoke as you read about James on the mural. At the bottom was a birth and death date. 1917-1945.

“He was the one that fell, wasn’t he?” You squeeze Steve’s hand and he looks down at you, “I don’t think he’d blame you, Steve. I can see it in your eyes - the guilt,” he goes to speak but you squeeze his hand again. “I know the look of guilt all too well, it’s ok to forgive yourself.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrow and he inhales sharply. His shoulders sag a little like a small weight was lifted from your words.

The two of you made your way around the exhibit slowly. Steve never strayed too far from you. You let him take his time reading and reminiscing. Before you left you followed Steve into a viewing room, he sat on the bench and you sat next to him. The room was quiet, not many people made their way in here.

"Thank you for coming with me today," Steve says. He's leaning his arms on his knees, looking down at his hands.

You place your hand on his arm, "you're welcome. Anytime you need me, I'm here for you," you smile at him when he looks over at you.

It looks like he's about to say something when a film starts on the screen at the front of the room.

There was a woman on the screen.

Agent Peggy Carter. SSR. 1953.

You knew her. Your breath hitched and you stood. Steve called your name, but it sounded like static. She was talking about Steve, and when you looked at him he seemed worried.

You left in a hurry, not bothering to wait for Steve as you weaved through people in the museum.

Steve found you outside under a tree, you were hugging yourself. As he got closer, he could hear you sniffle. He stood in front of you as your shoulder shook.

"What just happened? Are you ok?"

When you looked up at him he was surprised he didn't see tear tracks on your cheeks. Your eyes were glowing blue and the tears had yet to fall.

"I knew her," you say, your face set in determination. Steve's eyebrows lowered as he stared at you. "A few years after my family was killed, she found me. Leon and I had split up, to keep whoever was hunting us away from the other."

You wipe at your eyes and heave a sigh, "I was homeless, for the better part of a decade. She, Peggy, offered to help me out. In exchange, she wanted me to work for her and a friend. Strategic, something or another," you waved your hand around.

Steve grabbed your arm, and pulled you into him for a hug. He held you tightly, and spoke into your hair, "what happened then?"

You wrapped your arms around his waist and sighed, "I worked for Peggy for a few years before I left. She knew what I was and never looked at me differently. Told her I wanted out. I was in it for revenge, I thought I could use their resources. Maybe find the men that killed my family," you heave a sigh into his chest. “She never held it against me, my bloodlust - my sadness.”

Pulling back you looked up at Steve, "I haven't been back here since the 70s. That's the last time I saw her."

"Come with me," was all he said as he led you back to his motorcycle. He drove you both to the other side of the city, and parked. It was an elderly home.

-*-

You stood at the doorway to Peggy’s room, Steve was talking quietly to her, blocking you from view. After a few minutes, Steve stands to the side and Peggy looks over at you from her bed. Her eyes widen slightly on her wrinkled face.

There was a reason you never tried to stay in one place for too long, people grew old. And you’ve looked the same since you were 25.

Peggy calls your name, and reaches a wrinkled hand out to you, you come closer and take her outstretched hand.

“Oh my, dear, look at you,” she squeezed your hand lightly. There’s a smile on her face and that same fire in her eyes since you last saw her. “You haven’t aged a day!” She looks over at Steve who’s sitting on the other side of the bed in a chair. “Not quite fair, is it? You both look so young, and I-“ she waves her other hand in the air, “no matter, come, sit.”

You sit on the edge of Peggy’s bed, she puts her hand in your lap and you clasp your hand over hers. When you look at Steve he’s taking in the pictures of Peggy and her children on her bedside table. There’s a far off look in his eyes.

“You should be proud of yourself, Peg,” he says quietly.

She hums, “Yes, I have lived a life,” she looks to Steve, “my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” You keep forgetting Steve isn’t like you. He hasn’t lived through the decades like you have. He was frozen in time for over 70 years, and it breaks your heart a little bit.

Steve looks to you, a solemn look on his handsome face, then looks to Peggy and then down at his hands in his lap.

“What is it?” Peggy asks after a moment.

“For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to do what was right,” his brows lower, and he looks up at you both. “I guess I’m not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in. Follow orders - serve. It’s just not the same,” he smiles slightly at Peggy.

Peggy chuckles lightly, “Always so dramatic,” she looks at you with a sparkle in her eyes, and you smile at her. She looks back to Steve, grabbing his hand with her other one, “You saved the world, we rather, mucked it up.”

“You didn’t. Knowing that you helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. is half the reason I stay,” he says.

You inhale sharply and stand up. S.H.I.E.L.D. That was it. It had such a long name the last time you heard it. It never clicked in your head until now. Peggy doesn’t seem to notice your movement, but Steve catches your eye, and you shake your head. You pace away from the bed a little, worrying your bottom lip.

Steve works for S.H.I.E.L.D.? You guess it would make sense after seeing all the SSR memorabilia from the museum earlier in the day. To hear him say it aloud was jarring. You haven't thought of Peggy, her friends, or the SSR in almost 40 years.

You’re brought out of your thoughts to a coughing fit. You turn and notice Peggy can’t seem to catch her breath. You go to her side and take her hand as Steve moves across the room for a glass of water. You smooth her hair back as Steve brings the cup over.

When Peggy opens her eyes, she glances over to Steve, taking him in, there’s surprise on her features. “Steve?” She says quietly.

He tilts his head, “Yeah?”

She starts to cry, “Y-you’re alive? You came back?” Steve’s face falls for a second, and you stand back and away from them. He smiles a little. There’s sadness on him, you can smell across the room. “It-it’s been so long. So long.”

“Well I couldn’t leave my best girl, not when she owes me a dance,” he speaks softly to her.

Steve speaks quietly to Peggy while you leave the room. You don’t want to intrude on their privacy. Peggy hadn’t seemed to notice you after her coughing fit, so you silently slipped from the room.

Down the hall, you find yourself alone, so you tap the wristband. The blue light blinks a few times before you hear his voice.

“Can’t seem to stay away, can you?” There’s no holo-image this time when Tony answers. You can hear the faint sound of his repulsors over the call. “How was your date with Spangles?”

You chuckle at him, “It wasn’t a date, but it was nice. I’ve always enjoyed D.C. and the Smithsonian’s.”

Tony hums, then there’s a grunt over the line.

“Tony… what are you up to?”

“Oh, uh, nothing!” There's a distinct sound of a repulsor charging up and firing. "Just dealing with a few things, you know. I'm keeping busy until I can se-

Sir, I feel I should warn you-

"I can see it now, JARVIS! Poppy, sweetheart, let me call you later, yeah?”

You can’t seem to get more than a few minutes on the line with him until something comes up, “Sure, Tony, I’ll be here.”

“Great,” and then the line gets cut out and the light turns off. You sigh.

“Flowers?” Steve’s down the hall when you turn around to him, his shoulders are slumped and his hands are in his jacket pockets. His eyebrows are pulled together in worry, and you make your way over to him.

“Everything ok now?” You ask, and he nods. Steve sticks his elbow out a little and you place your hand in the crook of it. He leads you back through the building and outside to his motorcycle.

“One more stop ok with you? I can take you home after.” You get the sense he just doesn’t want to be alone, so you agree.

-*-

You follow Steve inside the VA, and stand next to him while he listens to a few veterans speak in a room. At the front of the room you notice Sam behind a podium, listening intently. After a few more minutes of people taking turns to speak, the meeting ends. You and Steve wait down the hall while Sam says his farewells to the vets leaving.

Sam turns towards you both with a grin on his face, “Well, look who it is, the Running Man,” he looks over at you and winks.

“Caught the last few minutes of that, it was pretty intense,” Steve says.

"Yeah brother, we all got the same problems,” Same shuffles a few pamphlets, then brings his hands into his pockets, “Guilt. Regret.”

You look down at your feet, unable to look at either of the men.

“You lose someone?” Steve asks, his arm touches yours as he shifts on his feet. He’s trying to comfort you, you notice and you lean into him a little more.

Sam sighs and nods, “my wingman. Riley. Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op. Nothing we haven’t done before, until an RPG knocked Riley’s dumbass out the sky,” Sam folds his arms over his chest and his scent is pure sadness and guilt. “Nothing I could do. It’s like I was up there just to watch.”

“I’m sorry,” you say as you look up at Sam.

“After that, I had a really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?”

“But you’re happy now, back in the world?” Steve asks.

Sam smiles, looking around, “The number of people giving me orders is down to about zero. So, hell yeah. You thinking about getting out?”

Steve shrugs, “No. I don't know. To be honest, I don't know what I would do with myself if I did.” You give Steve’s arm a squeeze.

“Ultimate fighting?” Sam says, and you and Steve laugh a little. “It’s just a great idea off the top of my head. But seriously, you could do whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?”

Steve thinks for a moment, he looks down at you and sighs. Then looks back over at Sam, “I don’t know.”

“I haven’t had many friends,” you say as you look down at your feet. “I’ve lived a really long, melancholy life until last fall,” you look up at Steve and give him a small smile. “And then I met Tony, and you, and everyone else at the Tower. And I’m really glad I did. I’ve been lonely for decades and now I can say I have friends for the first time in a long time.”

Sam makes a noise and you look at him, “decades? You’re like 23!” You give him a sheepish smile while Steve chuckles next to you.

“Don’t take appearances for what they seem to be,” you tell him with a wink. Steve begins to pull you along to leave, clapping Sam on the shoulder a little too strongly you think.

“What does that mean?” Sam calls after you, his arms out wide waiting for an answer. “Are you like him? Hey!” You turn and walk backwards giving him a wave.

“It was good to see you, Sammy!” You call as you and Steve exit the building, laughing together.

-*-

Steve drops you off at your brother's apartment early in the evening, the sun was beginning to set and the street lamps were turning on. You step up to the stairs that lead to the apartment building entrance and turn back towards Steve. He’s at the bottom of the steps, and you’re just about at his eye level.

“I had a really nice time today, Steve. Thank you,” you lean over and peck his cheek. You notice a light dust of pink cross his cheeks and he ducks his head down with a smile.

“Thank you for spending the day with me, Flowers,” he says softly when he looks up at you through his lashes. You like your childhood nickname coming from him. It reminds you of simpler times and it makes you smile.

Suddenly the hair on your arms and the back of your neck stand on end, and you look around. You sniff the air, and come down the stairs to look down the sidewalk. It’s relatively empty - nothing out of place. Steve calls your name, and you look back at him with wide eyes. He’s suddenly on alert when he crowds into you.

“What, what is it?” He’s looking around just as you had done.

“Something, I don't know. I feel like we’re being watched,” you tell him quietly. You grip his jacket in your palms and look across the street. Nothing there either. “I can feel it - like someone’s eyes are staring into my soul.” Steve puts a hand on your lower back as he looks around once more.

“Get inside, lock the doors. Call your brother,” he orders. It’s his Captain voice and you can do little to argue when he guides you up the stairs and you unlock the door.

Once you’re inside the door, you turn to him, “what about you?”

He gives you a small smile, “I’ll be fine.” And then he leaves. You do as he said and go up to your brother’s apartment on the second floor, locking and turning the deadbolt.

“Leon?” You call out into the space, there’s no answer so you pull your phone out and send him a message. There’s no response after 5 minutes of waiting so you call him. It rings and goes to voicemail. You leave him a message saying you felt something off when you got home and you locked the door.

-*-

It’s around 12am when your phone starts ringing, you grumble and turn to grab it off the nightstand next to the bed. Squinting at the brightness, you answer the phone.

“Hel-“

“Flowers, get out of the apartment,” it’s Leon and you pull the phone away for a second. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you groan as you sit up right.

“Wha, what are you talking about Lee,” you rub the sleep from your eyes as you swing your legs over the side of the bed. You pull on your shorts that were on the floor and make your way out to the hallway. “Where are you, are you home?”

“For god’s sake, Flo, get the fuck out of the apartment. Get your pack and run. I don’t have much time, something’s happening here and I’ll text you where to meet me later,” he pauses his frantic sentence and sighs, “I love you.” And he hangs up.

What the fuck was that? As Leon was telling you to leave, you grabbed your pack, the old flannel and slipped your boots on. You send Leon a message saying you left as you run down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk. Now where?

After a few minutes of walking your phone chimes and its a message from Leon.

Sunny: Meet me at the hospital. Will explain soon. XO

Hospital? Seriously, what is going on? You stuck your hand out for a cab and you made it to the hospital in no time with lack of traffic.

You ring Leon and he answers after the first ring, “Where are you, Lee?”

"4th floor, I'll meet you at the elevator." He hangs up on you and you take the lift up. As you go to exit, there's a bunch of men in tact suits standing in the hallway.

One of them notices you and comes up to stop you, his hand out to physically stop you if you keep walking. "Sorry, Miss, this floor is off limits. Get back in the elevator and try a different floor.”

You go to speak but he pushes you back towards the elevator roughly. A low growl is almost let out as he crowds you against the doors.

“Rumlow, stand down,” Leon comes into view then, he places a hand on the man's shoulder. “She’s with me,” he extends his hand to you and you take it.

The man - Rumlow - narrows his eyes at you, and nods to your brother. “Just make it fast, we need to be back at HQ soon. Find out what’s happening from Agent Hill.” He walks away then and goes back towards the other men in tactical outfits.

Leon leads you down the hall a ways away, “Sorry about him,” he puts his hand on the small of your back and steers you away from the group of men, “Something happened at work, someone was shot. My boss,” he sighs, and you notice how exhausted he looks. And then you notice what he’s wearing.

You put a hand on his chest and push him back, “S.H.I.E.L.D….? Leon?” Your eyes are wide as you stare up at him, “ho-how long have you been working for S.H.I.E.L.D. ? Is this what you do?” He goes to hush you as your voice gets louder and you bat his hand away. “Don’t shush me, Leon! What the hell is going on!”

He brings his hands up again to placate you, “please let me explain,” and when you don’t say anything he continues, “I’ve been with S.H.I.E.L.D. since ‘93. I-I thought maybe with new people in charge I could get some answers. Find answers.”

“About what happened,” you say quietly. You understood. Hell, you were with S.H.I.E.L.D. for almost 10 years before you left. “Is Fury okay?”

Your brother’s eyes narrow, shit did he not say his name? “We aren’t sure yet, no one’s come out. He’s still in surgery.” As he finishes his sentence, there’s a mumble in his ear piece you can barely make out. Leon turns his head slightly and closes his eyes. A heavy sigh leaves his lips, “They called it,” he looks down at you, eyes full of sadness.

You hug him for a few moments, the chatter down the hall is quiet as the men in tact suits converse lowly.

“Agent Jones,” the man from earlier calls down the hall towards you and Leon. You both look over to him. Leon gives you one final squeeze as he lets you go.

“Stay by your phone, I’ll text you if anything else happens,” Leon turns to head towards the rest of the men, the lettering on the sleeve of his jacket catches your eye, S.T.R.I.K.E.

As he walks away, a red headed woman stalks into the hallway from one of the hospital rooms, and a tall blond man behind her. You do a double take. Of course he’d be here.

“Natasha!” Steve calls to the woman.

She rounds on him and narrows her eyes, “Why was Fury in your apartment?” Steve stops in his tracks, eyes wide, and shrugs.

“I uh, I don’t know,” He says.

“Cap, they want you back at SHIELD,” Rumlow interrupts.

Steve turns around to speak and he sees you at the end of the hall, eyebrows furrow for a second before he responds, “Yeah, give me a second.”

“They want you now,” Rumlow says again.

Steve glances at you and back towards Rumlow, he nods slightly, “Ok…”

The red headed woman, Natasha, is smirking when Steve turns back towards her, “You’re a terrible liar,” and she walks off in the opposite direction.

You’re about to go over to Steve when a hand on your elbow stops you, you look and it’s Leon, there’s a sympathetic look on his face, his lips turned down in a frown.

“They want me to bring you into SHIELD. In case you saw something."

You turn to him, “What? Bring me in? Am I a suspect, Leon?” You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him.

“No, but you were with Captain Rogers all afternoon. And Fury was shot in his apartment,” Leon puts his hands on his hips as he looks at you. “Please don’t make a fuss, it’s coming from higher up,” he pleads. You heave a sigh and nod.

“Let’s go,” Steve says as he goes to leave, not sparring you a glance.

“STRIKE, move out!” Rumlow calls through the hallway. Leon takes your elbow in hand and leads you out of the building. You want to get a message to Steve, or Tony, but you don’t want to alert the other people around you. You don’t know these people in STRIKE. And Leon’s been lying to you for 20 years about his work.

Steve gets in the passenger seat of the SUV in front of 3 others, and you and Leon get in the backseat of the first SUV. Rumlow is driving your vehicle and as soon as he buckles, he peels out of the drive and towards SHIELD HQ.

-*-

AN: Thanks for reading!! Like comment rb<3 !

[eitelle]

“MAKKI!!” you scream for what felt like the millionth time in an attempt to get the strawberry blondes attention.

“WHY DIDNT YALL SAY SOMETHING SOONER?” he finally said in return after finally noticing the three of you.

as you quickly exchange greetings you all head into the shop and sit down in the back of the shop. you were all having a meeting to determine if makki was a good fit for the job and planned to give him some tasks and talk a bit.

“so,” you start after everyone was seated. “do you have a position you think youd be bad at or be good at?”

“i think id be a good waiter?” makki answers, his answer coming out as a question as he was unsure. “ive never done this type of job before for long, so im not too sure.”

“thats alright,” kiyoko soothes. “so the hierarchy around here is yn on top, then im her right hand in command or whatever its called, ryu is like our advisor, and if you join youd be like a highly ranked maid but you can work your way up.”

“sounds good to me,” he replies. “so, shall i do some tasks as an assessment?”

“yup,” tanaka says. “lemme give u a tour so you know where everything is first.”

“oh good thank you.”

“its no problem,” ryu replies. once out of earshot from the other two, he started walking a bit differently all of a sudden. “as you can see here at work were pretty professional if i do say so myself. yn has gotten a lot of our respect, she built this shop and made it successful so we help her maintain that as much as possible. even though shes the youngest.”

“ah i see. that makes sense, i was wondering why yall were being so different in real life than online.”

“yeah, but honestly we act really respectful with yn but out of work or out of earshot from her we goof off sometimes. and when shes in a good mood we goof with her too on occasion. but heres the plates, and these are the cups.”

“if i join, will i have to wash dishes?”

“yeah but not for long. after that we alternate with a schedule, almost like its chores at home.”

“i can work with that.”

“good,” ryu said finishing up the tour swiftly. as they join the rest, their work modes were on. with all the talk about “if makki joins” this and “if he joins” that, it wad time to see if he could really work here.

pickles | m. issei

— now working at a sandwich shop, you think an old love that you cant stop thinking about is finally slipping your mind, until he walks right in your shops door. old flames resurfacing and new sparks forming, the million dollar question is will he give you his side pickles?

<< prev. | chapter 9 “work modes” | next >>

a/n: heres this chapter, pls vote if makki should join the crew and therell be more mattsunxyn moments soon i promise havsjdhd

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[i-like-writing-stuff]

definitely love [five hargreeves x reader]

request:  Could you do a Five x reader fic where the reader is kidnapped by the Handler and Five comes to save them. Thx

a/n: it’s kinda short, but i feel like it’s pretty sweet, i guess??? the only warning is some curse words here and there cause i cant help myself and maybe the handler being like a huge y/n x five shipper lmao

perhaps therell be a part 2???

summary: when the handler kidnaps you, don’t you dare think five wouldn’t come to your rescue as soon as possible.

“Listen, lady!” You yelled, rolling your eyes at your former boss, “I have no idea where that dipshit is, alright?!”

The Handler raised a brow at your seventh burst this hour, taking a long drag out of her cigarette, before puffing out the smoke with a laugh, “I’m sorry- I can’t take your seriously when your boobs haven’t even kicked in yet.”

“Oh, you did not go there.” You squinted your eyes at her, trying to launch forward, but to no avail, as the Handler kept on laughing at your attempts of attacking her.

You only laid back in your seat, feeling the ropes around you squeeze you into place. You had been tied to that chair for the past three hours, although no real torture had been inflicted upon you- other than having to listen to the Handler talk for three hours.

Even when you worked for her in the Commission you didn’t like her much. She was too extra, too much work for you, in spite of her gorgeous sense of fashion. All you wanted to do was retire as soon as possible, but when Five Hargreeves got a job there, your world was turned upside down and before you knew it, you were a teenager again, in 2019, trying to stop the apocalypse with his other siblings.

Except that you failed, and you ended up in 1963... with another apocalypse on its way... because somehow you brought it with you.

“What do you even want with him?” You asked, as she stopped laughing to drag another long puff out of her lit cigar.

“Let’s just say I have a deal.” She smirked, turning to you, “And I need to make sure you two will hear me out.”

“Is that why you kidnapped me and brought me here?” You raised a brow, looking around the abandoned warehouse, “That’s cliche.”

“What’ll be cliche is if he finally admits to having feelings for you when he comes to your rescue.” The Handler scoffed, making you raise a brow at her, “Oh, please- we all had bets going on in the Commission on the two of you.”

“Wonderful...” You dryly said, shaking your head in disbelief.

However, somewhere deep within you, you hoped that what the Handler said would become true. You met Five on his first day working for the Commission and you quickly warmed up to each other since you had basically the same personalities, but you, yourself, were having a hard time understanding your feelings. 

You found that sarcastic piece of shit adorable and charming, but you were not gonna admit it to his face- you didn’t need him to get even cockier. He may or may not have shown in the past two weeks signs that he shared your feelings, but you decided not to put that much thought into it, since saving the world was the number on priority on your list.

“Hey!” Five’s voice suddenly rang through the room, as he stumbled in, holding Lila by the arm.

“Lila?” You wondered, confused by the presence of Diego’s crazy girlfriend which he picked up from a... well, crazy house.

“Well done.” The Handler smirked, placing her hands in the pockets of her coat.

“What is Lila doing here?” You frowned, watching as Five threw her on the floor, glaring at the Handler, “Five!”

“You were right to think she is familiar.” Five told you, placing his foot on Lila’s neck, “She is one of them.”

You perked your brows upon hearing the news, looking at the girl on the floor. She helped Diego escape the mental asylum and she’s been on his side ever since, but when you first laid eyes on her, you couldn’t help but get a familiar vibe off her.

Until you realized...

“That’s your kid?” You turned to the Handler, “The girl you adopted?”

You had heard years ago that during a task, somehow the Handler returned with a little girl, but you didn’t put that much thought into it, even if it was a bit strange. Five had a job in London and the Handler accompanied him, but you figured she just wanted to get some- come on, she is really creepy and kinda flirty!

“What?” Five raised a brow, looking at the girl beneath his foot.

“No matter.” The Handler said, stepping towards you, “Here we are... together again.”

“Yeah, it’s a real party.” You sarcastically said, “Ow!” You immediately yelped, as the Handler pulled on your rope, making you jerk back against the chair back, causing Five to tense up.

“I’ve gotta ask.” The Handler said, not once letting go of the rope, making sure the grip on you would be tightened, causing Lila to laugh, even if her throat was being stepped on, “Did you miss me, you little shit? Or did you miss your little girlfriend more?”

“I’ve been gone for only three hours.” You chimed in, making Five shake his head in disbelief, “Besides... nobody ever misses you, really.”

Five decided to put on the same tough guy act, not wanting to reveal his concern, because truth be told- when you didn’t show up at the family meeting that morning, he began feeling stressed. It was not like you not to show up, especially since his brothers and sisters treated you like their own, so that made him tense. 

But, when Lila showed outside the store with a smirk on her lips, he knew immediately she had something to do with it.

Because, truth be told, you were not expecting to let yourself get kidnapped by the Handler. Yeah, she was a great assassin, but you had been holding the title of the best agent in the Commission for the past seven years. That was, before betraying it to help Five save the world and his family.

“Ah, this one.” The Handler smiled sarcastically, letting go of you in order to push you forward.

“Woah!” You yelped, almost losing balance off the chair if Five hadn’t caught you. 

Lila quickly got up coughing before Five could return, but he couldn’t care less. At least you seemed to be fine, no cuts or bruises- the Handler did nothing to you, she was just toying with him to ensure he’d come here to hear out her proposition.

“Now that we’ve made the exchange...” The Handler said, as Five started untying your ropes, “Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?”

“Go play with your toys or something...” You taunted the girl, getting up from the seat after three, long hours, rubbing your sore wrists.

“Yes, the grown-ups need to talk.” Five backed you up with a smirk, as Lila only rolled her eyes, walking away from the three of you, knocking something off a table angrily.

“Very mature.” You raised a brow, “I can see how she and Diego made quite the couple.”

“Don’t make me vomit, Y/N.” The Handler scoffed, before changing the subject nonchalantly, “So... do you two lovebirds like jazz?”

After an interesting discussion with the Handler, you and Five walked out of the warehouse in silence, contemplating your decision. She made you two a tough deal, which needed some time to be thought upon, but, unfortunately neither of you had that kind of luxury.

“You know, if we do take the deal...” You spoke up, turning to Five, causing him to stop in his tracks beside you curiously, “It’d be like... one last job together.”

You and Five had been on jobs together before, but you never officially called yourselves partners, even if your success rate was off the charts. You had a great teamwork, so you were not that surprised when the Handler chose you two for a job of this level and risk.

“I don’t even want to think about that just yet...” Five sighed, covering his face tiredly, “We still have another option.”

Your heart ached at the sight- watching Five rub his small face tiredly, all stressed out and overall exhausted, you truly felt bad. You tried helping him, after all that is why you followed him through time, but this was beyond you, and him. 

You knew how much Five loved his siblings, in spite of his attitude towards them. Everything he has done so far it was for him... and you.

You had no idea, but to Five it was surreal. He accepted the fact that he loved his brothers and sisters, but it took him a lot longer to accept that he was actually in love with you. However, it did make sense- you always made him feel better, ever since you guys met. He wasn’t sure if it was love at first sight, but right now, in this moment, he knew it was definitely love.

“But...” Five spoke up, putting on a weak smile, as he placed his hands in his pockets, “At least you are safe now.”

Hearing those words come out of his mouth, your knees felt like they were about to fail you. As Five looked into your eyes, you knew he was sincere, so you couldn’t help the heat rushing to your cheeks.

“All thanks to you.” You quickly smirked, trying to brush off the nervousness, “I mean... she could have picked any one of your siblings to provoke you, but I had the pleasure of spending three dreadful hours with her.” You sighed, folding your arms over your chest, “So, thank you for coming to my rescue.”

“Thank you for playing the damsel in distress.” Five teased you, playfully flicking your forehead as he picked up the pace, “If things don’t work out with dad, now we have a plan B.”

“Hey, don’t let it get to your head!” You quickly yelled, rushing to catch up to him, “I still am a trained assassin!”

“And how exactly did the Handler get her hands on you, then?” Five asked, brushing off the way you absentmindedly locked your arm with his in an attempt to slow him down.

“I was baking cookies.” You slightly shrugged with an innocent smile, “And Frank Sinatra came on the radio, so of course I blasted it through the kitchen.”

“How do you survive?” Five wondered, looking down at you with a small smile on his face, watching as your lips turned to a playful pout.

Yeah... it was definitely love he felt for you.

[paralysis-comic]

yourocsbackstory week 3: education

@yourocsbackstory || [read on wattpad]

so this ones kinda long huh. tw for ableism, self injurious behaviour, just a lot of crying

But Not Too Familiar (Baby Blues: Interlude)

September 2009

The word school has been fucking you up for a while now. Mum says that’s just how school is. Dad says she’s wrong.

He came into your horrible little room one evening and said he was very sorry for not being a good dad, that he’d promised your previous dad to do a better job, that he would show that bastard Atticus, that he’d get you through school no matter what, all of it, right up to uni. You didn’t really know what uni was.

John said school is designed to make you think you’re meant to be learning French and Geography and stuff, when they’re really sorting you into popular, unpopular or medium. The medium ones, he said, make the best adults. He said occasionally, you get these edge cases—kids who have so many friends that they can’t imagine anyone not liking them, and the ones who don’t have any so no one bothers trying to find them some—those, he said, never last. He wrote all this out on a piece of A5 paper in his own horrible little room, while writing at your mutual parents about things that nine-year-olds don’t concern themselves with.

He also told you not to bother with uni.

•

And he says it again as he pauses outside the gates.

You look around. Ysgol Blodeuwedd Tudur—or Blodeuwedd Tudor Primary School And Nursery, as it says underneath—is bigger and shinier than you imagined. John’s staring at it too. Mum sort of shepherds you both through (is it shepherding if you’re both willing to go? And if theres only two of you?). You can’t see her face from where you are, but she sounds weird, both crosser and gentler. You stop for a second and turn around. She’s got her hand on John’s shoulder and keeps glancing at the other mums.

You’re not yet sure who you’re supposed to know and who you’re not. Maybe the girls who just came out from amongst them and are hugging you. They have nice vibes, rather than the ok and oh no vibes that everyone else has. According to their book bags, they are Cerys Thomas and Louise Yang. They are decent.

The sound of tiny little footsteps brings your attention away from them. You look up to see a stocky, curly haired boy sort of skid to a halt beside you. He raises his arms to wrap them around your neck, then stops.

“Do you remember me?”

You look down. You do remember Diane. Kind of. You don’t remember his middle name, his birthday or his favourite colour, but still…

“I remember you’re my best friend.”

He goes blank for a second, then he hugs you harder then you’ve ever been hugged in your life this year.

“We missed you SO MUCH Mrs Davies was being REALLY MEAN they haven’t changed the REGISTER yet and we thought you moved SCHOOLS—“

“Son, we don’t talk about that in public. And why don’t you let go of Iffy, you’re wobbling her crutches.”

He rearranges his arms into a position more accommodating to your unipedality.

You’re having a hard time thinking; partly from the dread-induced skeletal inertia and enteral pain, partly because there are at least five conversations going on around you (four spoken, one written). John holds this morning’s piece of paper in your direction.

she thinks letting me stay over therell make her look like a bad mother

any idea why she touched me like that? almost rather her wheeling me herself

You read it a few times (sometimes his handwriting is too neat) and shrug. You can’t talk in front of all these people and, well, you can’t write in front of anyone. Before you can dwell on how you’re gonna get through Year 5 if you can’t write, he pulls you over to the patch of concrete by the main doors. Mum hurries after you. She tells him off very quietly while you steal his headphones. He says you used to do that every day before he moved to London. You’re not sure about his taste in music.

•

In Year 1, no one was sure whether you were Iphigenia St. David or Iphigenia Richard or Iphigenia Henderson, so they put you at the top of the register. In Year 5, that means you sit right by the door, on a table with Stacey Ashton, Calum Beddoes, Dai Borgstein and Tonya Bufton. It’s the only table here with 5 seats instead of 4.

And it’s right by Mrs Davies’s desk.

She’s doing the register silently, so no one has to say why Gellert and Harvey and Suzie and Hector aren’t here. Sometimes she looks up sharply at you and raises her eyebrows in a way that says you should be focusing on doing your mental maths. Occasionally she says, “Do you want anything?” in a way that says you shouldn’t be wanting anything at all, no, not you, the girl who could walk and talk and write just fine in Year 4, what makes my class any different, Gina?

But the paper in front of you is evading you right now. Actually, no, it’s not the paper, it’s the white noise of 23 nine-year-olds (and Stacey) not quite whispering, it’s Mrs Davies clickiticlackiting on word or whatever, it’s stacey asking you if you need any help in that loud, over-enunciated way that girls whose birthdays are in September have, it’s the girls on the next table gossiping with Tonya, it’s Tonya turning to look at you and looking back at them and laughing, it’s Calum asking you why you can call Dai Diane and he can’t, it’s everyone calling you Gina, it’s not remembering what your name is meant to be, it’s everything else in your head that’s not letting the mental maths in, it’s everyone telling you things that apparently happened, things that you did, horrible things, things that will keep you up at night for years, it’s Calum snapping his pencil because he knows it makes you cry, it’s the feeling like you’re falling, and you might well be, who gives a f—

It’s Mrs Davies clicking her fingers in front of your face.

Everyone’s staring at you. You don’t move. You don’t say anything.

You can’t.

“Well?”

You don’t answer. Partly because no, you’re not well, anyone can see that, but mostly because… you have no idea what she’s asked of you.

“You know what perimeter is, Gina. D’you want to tell me?”

OK, sure, yeah, you know what a perimeter is. You know how to spell it, you know how to work it out, you know the relationship between it and area (John told you), you—

Maybe you don’t know what perimeter is.

And that’s not the voice she uses with Stacey. Or Tonya. Or anyone else. That’s not even the voice she used in assembly, when all the Key Stage 1 kids were there. That’s the voice that…

Fuck.

“No. Don’t.”

You try and let the sound of your breathing take over the giggling and the eyes upon you, and it kind of works because you’re breathing so loudly. Every muscle in your body is tensed to stop you rocking back and forth.

Or worse.

“Look at me.”

Huh? No. No, you’re not doing that.

“Gina.”

And that’s not your name. You don’t have a name anymore.

Something happens right by your ear, but you can’t identify it amongst everything else. Your eyes squinch shut and for a moment you can see her leaning over you.

You go cold.

You whimper slightly, pulling away, expecting your head to hit metal but theres nothing there. No, god, don’t fall, don’t-

You’re jerked forward, upright. You open your eyes to make sure you’re definitely in the classroom. There’s a voice to your right.

“Mr Lloyd never did that.”

“Well, I’m not Mr Lloyd.”

The hand around your left bicep moves to raise your head.

“Look at me.”

Your head comes up, and you look at her.

And now you are screaming.

“No. we don’t do that.”

You wrench your head to the right to look at Diane, but you can’t look at him, so you stare at the wall like you’re looking for something very specific on the Roald Dahl poster. The wall is too white and too far away. It hurts like hell.

Diane moves somewhat into view. He’s a bit close, bless him, but the blurry shape of his face and hair are easier on your healing eye.

He looks up at Mrs Davies (still shouting, but you’re trying to block her out) and moves away with a start. You can see his expression more clearly now; he’s worried, really worried, but you can’t work out why exactly. No one else seems to be.

After a moment of dithering, he gingerly takes hold of Mrs Davies’s left hand and prises her index finger off you. Something moves in your peripheral vision and you instinctively look back at her. She snatches away her hand, gouging her fingers into your flimsy little arm, feeling the bone. The force almost launches you at Calum. She lunges at Diane with what can only be described as teacherly incredulity.

“Uh-“

That noise. It’s familiar, but you can’t place it. It reminds you of the noise your dad makes when you start crying, but scary. Like she wants to collect more tears from you, not wipe them away. Well, you’re crying now. Is that what she wants?

“Dai?”

Some of the other kids do that fake-gasp-and-real-titter that kids are wont to do when someone’s properly getting what for. A few of them gasp for real, the ones in the quagmire between friend and stranger that bullies so often occupy, the ones that have forgotten that Diane isn’t his real name. Matthew Powell says they’ll do you for saying that to a pupil. Stacey asks if you’re alright again. You certainly don’t look alright—you’re shivering all over now and you’re not sure why. Diane starts crying as well.

Mrs Davies takes her hands off you and frowns at him.

“We don’t need that from you, Dai.”

All the tension from being grasped drains out of you and you flop down onto the table. You try to convince yourself that you’re somewhere else, but you don’t have enough memories of nice places yet. You’re having the same overwhelming sadness as you did when you first got home, but you’re too tired to cry now. Diane isn’t.

You want to comfort him, but Stacey is doing that already. She doesn’t look very good at it; he’s crying in a different way and he keeps reaching out to hold your hand. Mrs Davies says not to give you any attention.

You pretend there’s no one in the room except you and him.

He says your name. Maybe he wants you to look at his face again. You try, because you want him to know you’re alright, and then maybe he’ll be alright too.

But god, you can’t. You just can’t.

He raises his hand again, and Stacey grabs it back.

“No,” she says.

You go cold again.

For fuck’s sake.

•

Mrs Davies sits down at her desk and tells everyone to be quiet and do their work and to Not Give You Any Attention. Even Stacey. Even when you’re making all this noise. And, for the first time today, you remember why you are.

And you don’t fucking like it.

Diane nudges you and gestures to his worksheet. The old John Fairfax manoeuvre.

do you want me to tell her ?

You nod. He wipes the tears of his face and puts his hand up. How does he compose himself so fast?

A few minutes later, you look out the window to the hall. You’re still crying and shivering, so Stacey tries to pull you back down. Diane and Mrs Davies are heading towards reception. A thought occurs to you. Calum grabs one of your crutches and you fall against the bookcase. Mrs Davies turns around, sees you and starts shrieking at you for some reason. You look at Diane and gesture to the Year 1 class as much as you can with no free hands. He gets it.

When Mrs Davies gets to you, she runs her hands down her face, makes a frustrated noise, and drags you out into the hall. You drop your crutches. She makes you sit down (you can’t get back up on your own), puts your worksheet in your left hand (you don’t have a thumb on that hand) and your pencil in your right hand (you’re left handed). She goes back into the classroom. She throws your crutches in your general direction. She slams the door. Fuck, it’s really gonna be like this every day, isn’t it?

You’re really crying now. Your throat has been hurting for quite a while. When you were in the classroom, it hurt to swallow, and now you can’t even feel yourself swallowing. Especially with your prosthetic tongue. and you’re tired as fuck.

You wait for Nesta to come out of Class 1, or at least for Diane to come back. Anyone. There’s a clock at the far end of the hall, but its too far away to see. Whatever. Time is a mystery to you anyway.

All this fear is making you feel like you’re about to both hurl and shit yourself—and to be honest, you wouldn’t really care if you did. You look down at yourself. At your hands. For a second, you swear you’re in hospital again. You emit a blood curdling scream and throw yourself to the side like you normally do, but instead of a mattress or a rail or thin air, there’s just floor.

You see legs.

Nesta says a long something to Diane while you continue to scream, and he starts to go inside. He pauses and turns around. Nesta takes out her notebook, scribbles some stuff down and gives it to him. Hey, you recognise that notebook. While he’s gone, you start to really miss him. You snuggle up to him when he comes back. You stay like that while Nesta goes to reception. You calm down a bit. Mrs jones comes out with her and stalks over to you, telling you to get up. She shuts up when she notices your missing leg and the bruise on your face. She says she doesn’t think you’ve got a concussion, but she’s not sure. Nesta says your dad’s coming to pick you up.

You don’t think school is meant to be like this.

[gaydinobots]

swooplock!!!

THANK U im gonna just. do every category because i havent talked abt them in a hot minute so obviously! its time to go ham

under a read more because wow. wow this is so long. im so sorry 

their first impressions 👁swoop thinks grim is pretty hot but to be fair. thats a fact. i think he respects grim just because grimlock is like. strong. he would want to know him more he feels like theyd vibe. grimlock thinks swoop seems fun, no special feeling or anything. hes drawn to him a lil but not because of looks (if anything hed find swoop more cute in a weird, ‘this persons objectively not attractive but i cant stop noticing them’ kind of way) . basically they like each others vibes 

their first date 🕯i think i made a joke tweet a long time ago that theyd probably have a date in a junkyard or something as their first date BUT tbh. i think they probably did go to like…a bar for their first date!! swoop drinks more than he can handle to impress grimlock and even tho grim tells him to lay off he thinks its cute hes trying so hard (grimlock pays for Everything) 

their first kiss 💋THINKING ABT THIS MAKES ME EMBARRASSED OH MY GOD………..ok swoop initiates the kiss impulsively, it probably happened on one of their first dates, and he didnt think much of it. grimlock thought abt it a lot longer than he expected to (it all worked out in the end)  

an inside joke they share 🃏they make fun of slug getting mistaken for a heterosexual by every lesbian he knows…………i think swoop would probably bring up anything dumb grimlock has said too but u see grimlock loves him so he just laughs it off 

a recurring fight they get into ⛈they dont rly fight fight because max dinos 3 proves swoop can only stay mad at grimlock for all of 5 whole minutes. i think they fight over grimlock getting too overprotective when they were starting out but theyve been together long enough to like. be more mature abt handling it!! 

their love languages 💞i think grimlocks highest one would be touch!! idk why im attached to affectionate touchy grim but i feel like he just likes to hold his partners….whether its straight up cuddling or just a casual hand slung over a shoulder. swoop is more of a quality time kind of guy!! i dont think they rly do gift giving often BUT theyre do a lot of nice stuff for each other instead. grimlock also rly isnt into like. verbal affection as much as swoop is. swoop is verbal abt his affection but isnt big on being complimented himself. 

how they feel about pda 🌹swoop LOVES pda because hes dramatic and likes to show off sometimes. he needs everyone to know he loves his wonderful bf and show him off!! grimlock isnt so big on the public part but he indulges swoop anyway + he likes being affectionate - its a win/win for him either way

their favorite things about one another ⭐️grimlock clearly has a type for airheads hgkdsf but for real i think he does love how cheerful and upbeat swoop is!! he likes how impulsive swoop can be too because it means he cant predict what he’ll do next….so he’ll find something new to love when he doesnt expect it 😳 (maybe im being a bit mushy here. whos going to stop me? no one thats what) i dont think swoop ever rly put thought into his favourite trait of grimlock or hed just give a superficial answer about it. but his favourite part about grimlock is his more compassionate side + i think he also likes how grim doesnt. particularly care what other people think of him! he thinks grimlock can be rly sweet and is maybe a little proud of the fact hes one of the few ppl that actually get the Whole Grim Experience 

how they would adapt for one another 🍂swoop has to slow down a lil bit for grimlock! he’s naturally high energy which can be overwhelming for grim, so when swoop realises this he starts to make sure that grim can keep up w/ him. he also does try to take things more seriously cause i feel like hed view his whole thing w/ grim as being casual up until a certain point. grimlock on the other hand definitely tries to be more attentive to swoop. grim is naturally just. not rly receptive to people but when he decides someone is worth the effort he goes ALL IN. hes not the best listener or anything but he does try his best to be interested! even if its for little things.

their favorite celebrations 🎃dinobots collective anniversary because they all decided to just lump up their anniversaries into one nice day + slash’s birthday !!!!!!! i think swoop would also like. get jokingly into knowing different species celebration days but he doesnt rly care much for the meanings

their domestic rituals 💆what intricate rituals do they do………………………i mean they WERE separated for most of post war so they dont rly have much material to go off of. i guess fighting is a good bonding activity w/ ur partner so you end up resting together at night………they definitely cuddle Quite A Bit, swoop and grim also allocate a specific amt of time to swoop gossiping abt something or laughing at other people…im bad at this part OOP 

their family and friends’ opinion ⚖️in an ideal world the dinobots (minus lesbian icon strafe and their daughter slash) r all dating each other in one big polyamorous marriage anyway….the scavengers are very happy that grim’s happy even if krok keeps asking them to stop making out on top of his fridge when he wants engex. misfire keeps planning really weird elaborate date plans which both appreciate even if grim isnt rly sold on shoot shoot bang bang as a date night concept. i keep thinking of a dumb au where the other dynos live and slug is kind mmm because he and swoop are dating and he thinks therell be drama but the spoiler here is that they all have 2 hands so swoopsluglock ends up being the REAL endgame 

their shared living space 🏡the dynos barely have a house half the time in idw oop. i like the idea of them all somehow finding…dinobot island. gay dino paradise if u will. perfect honeymoon destination complete with very nicely heated mud pits 

[isitgintimeyet]

The Ties That Bind

Thanks for all your feedback on the first chapter. I loved reading it all! I hope you enjoy the second chapter.

Once again thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta

Chapter 2 : A Recreational Activity (well, a few)

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.  -Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Jamie groaned and hoped that the banging inside his head would stop soon. This was the problem with drinking wine. Generally Jamie tried to steer clear of ‘grape’ and stick to ‘grain’. However, last night, he had supped copious quantities of both and now was suffering the consequences. He stretched his hand out hoping to find a glass of water and possibly even two aspirins left on the bedside table by his more responsible alter ego yesterday. There they were. Gratefully, he sank back onto the pillows and waited for them to do their work.  

Parts of his alcohol-induced dreams came back to him… miles and miles of hotel corridors and he was chasing, chasing... a woman with the most gorgeous legs he had ever seen. He kept chasing her, but she wouldn’t stop and she wouldn’t turn round. A flash of wild dark curls and…

The banging in his head seemed to be louder now. “Unca,” a cross little voice added to the general cacophony. “Unca, get up now. Mam says now. ‘Tis beckfast and then ‘wimmin’. Mam says.”

Jamie forced himself out of bed. Fastening the towelling bath robe, he opened his door. His little nephew rushed past him and started jumping on the bed. Jenny stood in the doorway, her eyes darting all round the room.

“I go ‘wimmin’ with ye, Unca, wiv Spideyman shorts. What ye shorts, Unca?”

Jamie sighed and looked at his sister. “She’s no’ here. She didna stay. Nothing happened.” He grabbed Wee Jamie round his middle, lifting him high up in the air. “And who said I would take ye swimmin’, ye wee fishie?”

“Mam said so, she did.”

Jamie gently set his nephew on his feet. “Aye, well, yer mam makes an awfa’ lot o’ decisions fer the men in this family. But I guess I canna refuse, no’ if I ken what’s good fer me.”

**************

Claire lay on one of the day beds next to the swimming pool and wiggled her toes, admiring the newly applied scarlet polish. She set aside the copy of Hello! she had been skimming through and turned to Geillis.

“This was such a good idea of yours, G. Total battery recharge today… and we’ve even had the whole pool to ourselves. I don’t reckon we’ll be seeing any of that wedding party any time soon. Not if last night was anything to go by.”

“I am rather full of brilliant ideas,” Geillis agreed. “Although I feel we may have missed an opportunity last night. So many men...”

“... And no doubt so many wives and girlfriends!” Claire interrupted.

“Och, well,” Geillis dismissed Claire’s interruption. “Guess we’ll never know.”

“Anyway, so I’ve a body wrap, then hot stone massage in twenty minutes. I’m going to head into the sauna for ten minutes first. You coming?”

“Aye, may as weel. I don’t reckon there’ll be anything worth hangin’ round here fer today.” Geillis gathered up her belongings and followed Claire into the sauna.

**************

Jamie sat in the male changing room, blowing up his nephew’s armbands (Spider-Man, obviously a theme here) while Wee Jamie hopped excitedly from foot to foot.

“Now, afore we go in the pool, are ye sure you dinna need a wee? Ye ken what I told ye, as how if ye wee in the pool, the water turns bright blue?”

“Nah, Unca, c’mon now. Wanna go ‘wimmin’.” The little lad pulled his armbands up, grabbed Jamie’s hand and headed for the door. “C’mon, c’mon.” He paused and stared intently at his uncle. “Ye no Spideyman shorts?”

Jamie looked down at his blue checked board shorts and tried to look sad about this. “Sorry lad, I’m too big fer such a fine pair.”

As they entered the pool area together, Jamie looked around. It was totally deserted, which, Jamie thought, was hardly surprising based on the amount of alcohol that had been consumed the day before. An abandoned magazine lay on one of the day beds.

Wee Jamie pointed to a small passage way on the other side of the pool. “What’s ‘at?”

“Ah, nothing for ye. Just the sauna... it’s awfa hot and no’ fer children and the girls’ changing room is down there too. That’s definitely no’ fer us lads, eh?”

Following Jenny’s instructions to “wear the lad out, we want him tae sleep in the car going home,” Jamie stayed in the pool, playing with his nephew until he noticed the lad’s eyelids start to droop. He scooped him up and carried him back to the changing room, intending to just wrap him in a towel and leave the tricky drying and dressing to Jenny.

Wee Jamie held tightly to his uncle’s neck. “You fib, Unca. Ye did. I wee’d and I wee’d but no blue.”

Jamie chuckled. God, he loved this little lad something fierce and maybe someday, God willing...

**************

Claire picked up the two whiskies from the bar and made her way to the table where Geillis was sitting. The pub was quite empty at the moment, just a handful of people, like them, having a quick drink after work before heading home.

Geillis looked Claire up and down appraisingly. “Ye ken I love ye, Claire, but could you no’ wear something a bit, weel, more alluring when we’re out?”

Claire gazed down at her old jeans and plain black tee shirt. “G, I’ve been on my feet in theatre for the past 8 hours. I’m so knackered, you’re lucky I managed to change out of my scrubs and into this! Besides, however can I compete with your alllllluuure?”  She drawled the last word out jokingly. “Maybe you have the allure for both of us? I can be your duff.”

Geillis raised a quizzical eyebrow.  

“Designated ugly fat friend.” Claire explained with a smile. “According to the movie, every friendship group has one. You and me, we’re a friendship group, ergo, I must be it.”

“Claire, ye may be many things but fat or ugly never.” Geillis said, “Yer hair’s a wee bit wild, mind. Do ye no’ fancy a Brazilian blow dry?” She ran her fingers over her sleek strawberry blonde locks.

“And here’s me thinking a ‘brazilian’ was about a different part of my anatomy altogether!”

Geillis smiled, then a serious expression crept over her face. “But, Claire, ye dinna think ye’re fat or ugly really, do ye?”

Claire stared at the beer mat on the table, her fingers picking at it, ripping it into tiny shreds of paper. She really thought she’d outgrown that nervous habit.

“Well, no, but, it’s difficult to explain. Frank...” She could hear Geillis tutting at the mention of his name. “Frank had certain… er, expectations of how I should be. How I should behave, how I should look. The disapproval on his face if I took an extra roast potato, ordered dessert, poured myself another glass of wine. There was always someone younger, more self-controlled, thinner. So, for a while I tried to become the person he wanted me to be. I tried to see myself through his eyes and I saw the fat arse, the lack of control, the not-really good enough...”

Geillis leaned closer and gently placed her hand on Claire’s. “Thank God ye got out of there. That wasna a healthy place tae be, Claire. Ye know ye’re worth a lot more than that.”

“I know. And I am joking about that duff business but occasionally, old habits are hard to break. That’s why I’m not after a serious relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready to let someone see me as I really am.”

“But a fling will do ye no harm at all. It will do ye the world of good, let ye see how another man treats ye. In fact, we need a list. A checklist. When ye’re in theatre, ye dinna start cuttin’ till ye know everything is in place, all the boxes are ticked. So we make a list of what ye want and ye dinna start, er, flingin’ till a man ticks all the boxes.”

Claire finally put the mangled beer mat down. “A list, really?”

“Aye, it’s scientific, ye ken.” Geillis picked up her bag and rooted around for a piece of paper. Finding an unused paper napkin, she smoothed it flat on the table, extracted a pen from the depths of her bag and sat poised ready to write. “Ok. Point one…” She scribbled something down quickly.

“Come on, Let me read it.” Claire laughed, turning the napkin round. “Must look good in, and out of, a kilt. G, you have a one-track mind.”

“Och, it’s a fling we’re talking about, ye only need one track, I reckon. So, what about point two?”

“Well, I may as well play along. Point two must be no complications.”

Geillis obligingly wrote that down. “Next point. Enjoys a drink. Likes to let his hair down.”

Claire took the pen from her friend and added another line. Geillis read it upside down. “Really, it’s a fling ye’re after. Ye’re tellin’ me if they dinna like the X-Files, that’s it? Is that a deal breaker?”

“What can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Fine, but I’m adding this one then. Fancies ye as ye are. No changing ye.”

The pub was starting to fill up. Most commuters had already made their way home, to be replaced by those heading out for the evening, coming into the pub for a quick drink before their evening plans properly began. Even on a drizzly Thursday evening, it was getting to be standing room only. Claire noticed several people eyeing their table enviously. She drained her whisky glass and stood up.

“I think that’s me done for this evening. Any more and I’ll have to be put to bed right here.  I’ll just pop to the loo and meet you outside, G.”

As Claire crossed the room to the toilets, Geillis started to gather her stuff together to leave.

Immediately a woman rushed to the table, plonked herself in one chair, and stuffed her bag on the other chair. She eyed Geillis, willing her to hurry up and be on her way. Geillis ignored her and continued rifling through her bag, her movements deliberately slowing. Eventually, Geillis decided she’d had enough of the game, turned away and walked to the exit.

**************

Geneva caught Jamie’s eye as he moved away from the bar, drinks in hand, and pointed to the seats she had found for them. He sat down, taking a deep slug of his whisky as he put Geneva’s vodka, lime and soda on the table next to a tatty old napkin.  

“Someone’s shopping list, no doubt.” Geneva dismissed it with a wave of her hand as Jamie picked it up and carried on telling Jamie about the difficulties in trying to find the correct colour for a new bedroom throw. “...Not really a teal, but not quite a cerulean colour either…”

Jamie knew his role in this. It was just to nod and murmur appreciatively at appropriate points in the story. That gave him time to think… unfortunately. Thinking made him realise that Jenny had been right three weeks ago at the wedding. Geneva was not the one, he didn’t need to try again just to see. And she did talk utter shite.

He groaned, which Geneva seemed to take as indication of his deep interest in her tale of home furnishing trials and tribulations. He should never have slept with her. He hadn’t intended to but last night, as the blood left his brain and migrated south, he had lost the capacity for rational, coherent thought and had followed his baser instincts. Which had been a very bad idea.

Jamie glanced at the napkin he was still holding. Straightening it between his fingers, he began to read. A woman with long strawberry blonde locks suddenly leaned over and gently took the napkin from his fingers.  

“Thanks, it’s fer scientific research, ye ken.”  

He watched as she walked to the door, to her waiting friend. Her friend with the long shapely denim clad legs and mad curly hair and her face, so full of life with sparkling eyes he longed to dive right into.

“What an odd thing to want.” Geneva interrupted his contemplation. “That couldn’t have been scientific research. On a used napkin. Some people are just strange.”

Jamie felt his breath catch in his throat. Jenny had been right - he recognised it. What to do now?

[kitkatcadillac]

like it’s just super easy to slip and feel like everythings going to be wrong forever and youll never be able to do anything about it, but like... the best kind of betterment, in my experience, started with the self

sure everythings going to shit. theres a lot of big problems and theres more on the way, and then once those get here therell be more! but like... wont it be easier to face them if you arent moody bc you forgot to eat or because your mouth feels grody bc you havent brushed your teeth in a month

those tumblr posts about it being toxic to bash posts praising things like “take a shower! dont forget ur meds! drink water!! uwu!!!!l are just so.... so true lmao if youre sitting there letting yourself fall to pieces physically, of course youre gonna feel like shit.

you dont have to change the way you go about it all at once. you cannot go from Garbage Man, Take Me By The Hand to functional human being overnight, probably. maybe. some people can, but i know i sure as shit couldnt.

hell, i couldnt even make a change consistent for months. id try to do one thing, or two things, and then id fail to keep it up until after MONTHS of trying to remember doing it, something about it finally started to click. id write it down, or id do it just frequently enough that id start to notice that i felt better when i did it, or sorta gross when i didnt, and just to feel a little bit better for me, for myself, privately... that was good enough incentive.

what im saying is, first off, im proud of me, and also that i truly believe that anyone can really just take the tiniest steps to help better themselves??? that their self is important and i believe in and love them and support and encourage anyone and everyone to take care of themselves because theyre gonna feel so much better if they just give themselves some patience to realize that bettering themselves isnt just some really big, singular, earth shattering moment or decision like it is in every single movie, show, or storyline on the planet????

[lyndsaybones]

In Dreams 14

Chapter 1...Chapter 2…Chapter 3…Chapter 4…Chapter 5 …Chapter 6…Chapter 7…Chapter 8 …Chapter 9...Chapter10… Chapter 11…Chapter 12...Chapter 13

GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON DC

3:42 AM

It’s not that he expected something to happen immediately. There’s still a chalky aftertaste in his mouth and he swears he can feel the pill land in his stomach. He looks around Scully’s bathroom as if he might find some kind of sudden clarity in the ancient tiles. But there is nothing. No revelation, no sudden onslaught of memory. And the logical part of his brain reminds him not to be disappointed. It’s funny, he notes, that the logical voice in his head sounds a lot like Scully’s.

He flips the light switch and ambles back to the bedroom. She stirs as he slides between the sheets and mumbles something sleepily.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispers.

“Are you okay?” she sighs.

“I’m okay,” he tells her reaching out to smooth her hair down.

TWO DAYS LATER 2:20 AM

He swallows the pill dry and again, looks around the bathroom. She’s got all kinds of odd little things in there. He notices a glass ashtray on one of the tables near the tub. Upon closer inspection, he sees that it is emblazoned with the seal of the US Navy. He knows it must have been her father’s, because he now remembers that her father was a Captain. But he also has an image of her, perched on the edge of her clawfoot tub, her hair short and curled at the ends the way it was when they were first partnered together. He can see her, rear balanced on the edge of the bath and the arches of her feet against the table on the opposite wall. The glass ashtray balances precariously on her bent knees as she takes a long drag from a cigarette.

“You okay?” he’d asked her.

“Coping mechanism,” she said as she held up the cigarette.

“Maybe you should have a drink to celebrate keeping your liver,” he teased.

“One vice at a time,” she said as she flicked the ash into the thick glass.

He takes a deep breath and can smell the smoke, rich and familiar. He opens his eyes and it’s gone, the image, anyway. As he turns off the light, he swears he can still smell the smoke.

FOUR DAYS LATER 4:14 AM

He’s returned the pill bottle to its hiding place in one of the many assorted baskets in her bathroom. He was surprised to find that most of them are actually empty and serve only a decorative purpose. He turns off the light before opening the door that adjoins to her bedroom, ready to tip toe quietly and avoid the squeaky spots in her hardwood flooring.

But as he opens the door, he sees that there is no reason to worry about waking her. She is sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed.

“Did I wake you?” he asks.

“Only every night for the last week, Mulder,” she says softly, the hurt evident in her voice. “Were you ever going to tell me?” she asks.

He doesn’t want to answer. And she can see it. She draws her lower lip between her teeth and nods. She swipes at her cheek and sniffles as she looks away, quickly laying down and disappearing under the covers. He does not return to bed and instead, stretches out on the couch and waits for sunrise.

In the morning, he approaches her slowly as she is setting about making tea and oatmeal.

“Scully,” he begins.

“You know, Mulder, things have settled down here. You don’t have to keep hanging around.”

He feels like he’s been swallowing bricks instead on little white pills.

“Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“I think it’s time we start getting back to our own lives,” she says simply, as simply as reminding him to pick up a gallon of milk or to turn in an expense report.

“Our own lives?” he echoes.

“Yes. I’ve already put in my request to return to work. Maybe you should consider doing the same.”

She shuffles by him, mug in one hand, breakfast bowl in the other and takes a seat at the table.

“Back in the field?” he asks. He glances at her burgeoning belly, the gentle curve of it so subtle that no one would notice if they didn’t know what they were looking for.

“Of course back in the field,” she says as she blows on her mug and takes a sip of tea.

“Scully I…” he pauses. Lecturing her about her health or protecting the baby will get him nowhere. And her icy disposition has nothing to do with wanting her space and everything to do with the fact that he’s been doing something foolish behind her back. She prefers that he do those kinds of things in plain view so she’s not surprised when there’s a mess to clean up.

“How did you know what I was doing?” he asks as he sits down across from her.

“I can always tell when you’re lying, Mulder,” she says softly. “Besides, you started calling me ‘Scully’ again.”

His mind flashes on the night that she tried to leave and it is suddenly as vivid as if it is happening right in front of him. He can feel her struggling in his arms, fighting and clawing at him.

“I’m not going to go,” he says simply.

“I was trying to be polite, Mulder,” she says. “But let me be clear: You need to go.”

Another flash, this time of her unconscious on the her bathroom floor, her skin so pale and her body so weak.

“I can’t, Scully.”

She eyes him, that stern look reserved for sexist local detectives and obnoxious suspects.

“My temporary assignment still stands, so I’ll probably be on a plane by the end of the week anyway,” she says as she stands and dumps the last of her tea in the sink.

“I’m coming with you,” he says, feeling suddenly desperate.

She whirls around, eyes wide, mouth open.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Mulder. I can take care of myself.”

“What if you try to walk out in the middle of the night again? What then?” he says as he gets up and closes the distance between them.

“It was a fluke, a combination of hormones and exhaustion.”

“And the 47 people who burned to death? Was that a fluke too?”

“I’ll be fine,” she says, setting her jaw tightly.

He takes a deep breath. “There’s something else I didn’t tell you,” he says, unable to meet her eyes.

Her shoulders drop and she is searching his face the same way she would a dark corridor.

“What?” she asks. He is silent. “Mulder, what?” she asks, more urgently.

Everyone who died therel had implants, just like yours.”

“Who told you that?”

“Skinner pulled the reports for me.”

Her chin quivers and a tear slips free. She draws in a long, rattling breath and walks away.

“Scully, wait,” he calls.

“Go home, Mulder,” she replies, her voice flat and tired.

HEGEL PLACE WASHINGTON, DC The fish are all dead, which he expected. He can’t help but notice that his entire apartment looks dead as well. His things are utilitarian, basic. They exist to serve a purpose, nothing decorative here. He remembers that he’s often thought of his home as a cold, calculating mind. Scully’s place feels like a beating heart with its warm colors and rich textiles. It looks like someone lives, really lives in her home. His looks like someone simply lands there on occasion.

He drops his bag on the floor and sinks into the creaky leather couch. It’s never been very comfortable. Freezing cold in the winter, sticky and hot in the summer. He picks up the remote and turns on the TV, flipping through the news channels which are all showing the same, terrifying image. He sets the remote down and leans forward to get a better look. The crawl at the bottom of the screen reports a bombing in Dallas, Texas, unknown numbers dead and injured.

GEORGETOWN WASHINGTON, DC

“Hello?” she answers her trilling phone.

“Agent Scully, it’s AD Skinner,” his stern, paternal voice greets.

“Hello sir. What can I do for you?”

“Have you turned on your television today?”

“No, sir,” she answers.

She fumbles through the stacks of paper and files Mulder has left on her coffee table until she finds the remote and turns on the television. There’s a short lag between pushing the button and the screen coming to life, which is just enough time to set her heart racing.

“Oh my god,” she breathes upon taking in the scene before her. The front of the Dallas building has essentially been sheared off, smoke drifts throughout and the omnipresent flashing lights are simply everywhere.

“The Dallas field office is asking for every available pathologist down there as soon as possible,” Skinner says. “There are going to be a lot of bodies to identify.”

“Of course, I’ll be on the first flight,” she says as she stands, perhaps a little too fast, as she sways from a slight head rush.

“That’s not why I called, Agent,” he says.

“It’s not?” she asks, sitting back down again.

“I called because someone from Forensics will be reaching out to you and asking you to go to Dallas and I didn’t want you to feel obligated to accept the request.”

“I’m sorry?” she says.

“With everything that’s happened in the last few weeks, if you don’t want to go, I’ll have your back.”

“I appreciate your concern, sir, but I’m happy to go where I’m needed,” she answers, feeling infinitely stronger than she did just a few moments prior.

“If you’re sure, Agent,” he says cautiously.

“I am, sir,” she replies firmly. “I appreciate the call.”

3 DAYS LATER

She’d called to tell him where she was headed, which was better than he expected. He had hoped that she wouldn’t go anywhere at all, that she would let him come back so they could talk.

“It'll be two weeks at most,” she’d said, her voice already sounding tired.  

“Call me when you get there?” he asked

“I'll try, it's going to be busy,” she said, a warning tone in her voice.

He hasn’t heard from her since. Out of respect, he hasn’t tried to call her. But he wants to, badly. He did take her advice and file all the necessary paperwork to return to work. Which is why he is now tapping his foot as the elevator sinks into the bowels of the Hoover building.

As he crosses the threshold into their office, he gets a vivid flash of their last conversation there, how angry and hurt she was. The way her face crumbled and her shoulders dropped. He closes his eyes and fights the intense headache that follows the photo negative image of her face.

“I heard you were back,” a feminine voice says. He whirls around and finds Diana standing in his doorway, a pleased little smile on her face. “Are they working?” she asks, an eagerness written in her posture.

“Are what working?” he asks, although playing dumb has never once worked on her.

“Are your memories coming back?” she asks.

He can almost feel her poking around in his head, watching his body language, getting a read on him before he’ll even have a chance to open his mouth.

“They are, aren’t they?” she says, smile growing broad.

“Diana, if you were to make a list of things that are none of your concern, I should be at the very top,” he says as he walks around the desk and drops into his chair.

Her smile fades and she draws in a breath that is clearly suppressing tears.

“You still don’t trust me,” she says with a shuddering sigh.

“Nothing gets past you, does it?”

She nods, ever so slightly and tugs at her severe black jacket, adjusting her armor in much the same way Scully does.

“I assume you’ve heard about the bombing in Dallas?” she asks.

“I’ve been recovering, not living under a rock.”

“There’s more there than you know, Fox,” she says.

“I don’t know anything,” he says with a shrug.

“Start asking questions.”

“What questions?”

“Follow your gut. It’s served you well.”

“That all?” he asks.

“For now,” she says with a curt nod. “See you around, Fox.”

“Hope not!” he calls as she leaves.

The sound of her high heels clicking a staccato retreat echoes the heavy thud of his pulse in his ears. It’s so loud that he almost misses the shrill tone of his phone ringing. He fumbles for a moment, the ache building between his temples like a growing thunderhead.

“Mulder,” he mumbles, eyes closed.

“Mulder, it’s me. I need you here as soon as possible.”

His eyes fly open and he lurches up from the desk.

“Hold on, I’m coming.”

[comicteaparty]

December 17th-December 23rd, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from December 17th, 2018 to December 23rd, 2018.  The chat focused on Lovespells by Ryan & Sage.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Lovespells by Ryan & Sage~! (http://lovespellscomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until December 23rd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Do you believe that Esther will eventually confess her feelings to Maria? What do you think it will take for that to happen given Ether’s shyness about it?

QUESTION 4. Given some further hints, do you believe Maria’s own feelings towards Esther are changing? How do you think Maria would react to a confession from Esther? Would a confession ruin their friendship?

snuffysam

only at the end of chapter 4, but loving it so far! here's my current answers... 1. definitely the scene at the end of chapter 4 where Maria asks Esther for more lessons/to hang out as friends. We already know what Maria's there for ahead of time, and I eat dramatic irony like that for breakfast. Also, the reactions of Maria's friends who see Esther's obvious crush. 2. Hmmmm Maria. She's this super cheesy knight type, and that's me babey.

3. Yes, and it will be an accident.

4. Just from what I've seen so far, Maria's feelings towards Esther have changed. The relationship started out super professional from Maria's point of view (Esther is just helping her level up her magic. strictly teacher/student) but now she sees Esther as a friend. At this point... I don't think Maria would find a new tutor after the confession like Esther thinks, she's too professional for that. But it may put a dent in their friendship if the feelings aren't reciprocated.

decademic

omg, blitzed through it again because I love these slow burn lesbians and their wonderful relationship~ honestly couldn't ask for more! the art's amazing, the story is paced so well, the panels honestly are on par with paranatural levels of forethought and care, just ooo! I love them!!! onto the questions... 1: oh gosh, I can barely choose! the first meeting, when Maria shows up at Esther's house with her friends and they see how oblivious Maria is, the critical hit scene...throw a dart, I love it. 2: I'm gonna have to say Esther, she's so relatable by nature, and her actions are so pure intentioned. the love potion instead of elixer moment was such a cute nod, I got heart eyes and pledged my soul immediately. 3: I want Esther to start to confess, but Maria stops her and confesses instead! cue teary eyes and a first real kiss~ 4: Maria needs to identify this feeling as love; real love, before anything in the relationship can move forward at all. therefore, there has to be some realization on Maria's side sooner than later to make it work. Esther would probably chicken out halfway through the confession and confuse them both, which is why I'm gunning for Maria to do it~

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What do you think happened to Esther in the past that caused a healing spell to give her a permanent mana siphon? Do you believe Esther will reveal whatever happened to Maria? What might be the consequences of Esther telling her or keeping it secret?

decademic

gosh, good question...

so I guess 5: Esther hasn't been holding back, per se, about her affliction, she was upfront about it to the nurse, and has answered Maria's questions, so I don't think it's a 'secret', but more of a bit of backstory that may be a bit hard to relive. none of this answers the question of what the affliction is but I'm sure that'll be addressed, I'm sure of it

snuffysam

I don't think it's anything particularly sinister or mysterious, just, like... some uncommon disease. like magic polio.

though i suppose it either has to be something difficult to explain or something with a big stigma attached to it?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Do you think we’ll see the paladin who scolded Maria at the tournament again? Why do you think he seemed particularly critical of Maria? What role might he have to play in Maria’s life (and Esther’s by association)?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoyed the scene where maria was with her friends and referred to esther as lovely and all maria's friends are like O/////O. i enjoyed it not only for the significant character development maria is showing, but also the sheer comedy in how oblivious maria is to anything to do with love. 2) maria. i like her intense honesty that is balanced by her flawed obliviousness to a lot of the things around her. i think its a combination that makes her extremely endearing as a character. 3) i think the clock is ticking. esther is clearly terrible at hiding it and stuffing her feelings down. and i think one day maria is gonna be like "i love this thing" and esther is gonna be like "oh yeah i love that thing almost as much as i love you." like maybe not that exactly, but i dont think esther will overcome shyness. i think its gonna be a pure mortification accident moment cause esther will be lost in her own brain thoughts.

4) maria's feelings are definitely changing. no doubt about it. as for a reaction to esther's confession...honestly maria is so dense i wouldnt be surprised if she just could comprehend a love confession. gets told "i love you" and shes like "i love you too....youre a dear friend." once she realizes though, i kind of feel like shell...limbo turn down esther and tell esther shes not sure how she feels. then decide and couple will be created. as for ruining their friendship, eh, therell be tension maybe? not friendship ruining tho cause maria is just too nice for that. 5) I'm gonna assume that it was some sort of injury to be honest. cause esther did mention wanting to be an adventurer and i could see esther being overenthusiastic and trying something dangerous and winding up permanently injured because of it. or poisoned maybe. thats also an option. but regardless the curitive magic came with a price. i think esther will tell maria the full story someday, and i think it will bring her and maria closer. and consequently cause maria to get ultra defensive against those questioning esther's honor. 6) i do think we'll see that paladin again, and boy am i looking forward to it. i want to know more about him cause i think the dynamic hed have with maria would be awesome. i think as far as role goes, he might be the one to challenge how maria handles herself as a knight and her general love obliviousness. because maria's friends and esther all kind of either find it endearing, support her, or just accept that is part of her. whereas i think this paladin could be the one to ask her if she isnt hurting others by being so oblivious to love while constantly giving everything of herself. or something like that.

snuffysam

ok i'm caught up i'm not sure about the paladin. because yeah maria's friends aren't exactly helping move this relationship forward but... why would the paladin do any better? he just seems like a jerk to me.

maybe he shows up again and gives maria something extra to vent about to esther?

also, apparently his name is marcus? at least that's what the cast page seems to say, it's hard to tell without pictures lol

thisintermezzo

I co-write this comic and aklsjdkjhffjk it's so cool to see people actually seriously talk about it??? Thank you so much for this. We almost never get actual responses--which is pretty normal for most comics; feedback is just hard to get, haha--so this is super novel and hugely appreciated. If you want to ask me anything, please feel free. Otherwise, I'm just going to spectate here and there. (Also, now that I have Discord again, I can try to similarly contribute to chats about people's comics!!)

snuffysam

welcome! this is a really cute comic! if I may ask a question - what was originally on this page?: http://lovespellscomic.com/post/162477687227/hey-this-post-may-contain-adult-content-so-weve

it was after a bunch of guest comics so i'm guessing it was another guest comic? but tumblr deleted it so i have no idea

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Do you believe Esther’s magic tutelage of Maria will pay off at a critical juncture at some point? How might Esther’s own skills change due to contact with Maria? How might their changing relationship affect their professional lives?

thisintermezzo

I can't tell, haha. I actually don't know what the page before that is, even, since the "back" button is gone. Tumblr is lame and didn't notify us of any of the flagged posts, so I have no clue what else has gotten randomly deleted. :U Tapas would have it all, though.

Thanks for letting us know, though! o/

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Do you think Maria’s friends will play a role in Esther and Maria’s budding relationship? If so, what role will they play and how might their own relationships with Maria change?

(the archive for the chat on Psychteria is up! @CalimonGraal https://comicteaparty.com/post/181287718835/december-10th-december-16th-2018-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

@snuffysam sometimes strangers are more helpful than friends in certain contexts. cause friends can come with a lot of biases. but eh it was just a thought

7) I def hope esther's magic tutelage pays off. Though not sure when since the tournament seemed like the most dangerous thing to happen so far. but if maria goes on a mission for sure shes gonna be pulling out that crit move esther taught her and save the day. albeit alternatively i could also seeing it going the opposite. wherein maria tries and fails hardcore. and then esther has to hug and comfort her and tell maria its okay. as for esther's skills, i actually think any change is gonna be less related to magic and more esther is gonna learn like how to express her feelings better or something. but this is something i dont forsee happening until they get together. 8) i dont think the friends are gonna help. rather, i think after maria and esther get together maybe that theyre gonna hurt the relationship in a way. in that theyll get jelly of maria spending more and more time with esther. cause while maria sees esther a lot, theres clearly more freetime maria has she could spend with esther instead of her friends. and i could see maria doing that cause as nice as maria is, shes extremely inexperienced in this area. so i think shed put esther first way too hardcore at first and the friends would have to say whoa there hold your horses. i think at the end itll strengthen their bonds though cause itd give maria a better understanding of some of the experiences her friends have maybe. idk. im spitballing.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. If Esther and Maria do date, how do you believe that will go? What relationship obstacles might the two have to overcome in order to make their relationship work? How will the change affect the course of the story?

Delphina

Oh noooo, cute magical girl AND lawful good swordy girl having adorable crushes on each other. I might have to jump into this one.

1. My anime roots are showing, but I love a good "you don't have to refer to me with honorifics" scene. Also any time Maria carries sleepy Esther around is adorable.

2. Maria's hard not to like. I'm also a sucker for strong intense ladies who wanna do the right thing always.

I'm not so great with the speculation-type questions, but it's a great comic and I'm looking forward to what happens and hope that things go smoothly in both the romantic and magical arenas! The writing is very sweet and pure and the character designs and great environments complement them nicely. Really can tell there's a lot of love in this story!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

Delphina

I really enjoyed the part where Esther was explaining her sketches about adventuring to Maria. Esther has mostly been a reactive character - she gets orders and reacts, she's asked for help by Maria and she reacts, she sees some kids in trouble and she reacts, she gets low on MP and reacts. But that was the first time we saw what she wanted for herself, and how she views her role, and it really helped make her feel real and more proactive. I hope we see more of what Esther wants and who she is in the future!

RebelVampire

9) I think they'll have to deal with the usual relationship challenges. balancing work life, balancing other friendships, accepting that maybe they dont know each other as well as they think they might. but i think theyll manage. esther especially i think is gonna have to learn to be more open like how she was about her desire to be an adventurer. 10) I'm looking forward to seeing paladin returning and revealing why he's in this story in the first place and butting heads with maria. and then esther being "it's okay baby hes just a big ol' meanie"

snuffysam

i just really want to see more of the comic. it's super cute, the characters all lovable... i need more.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Lovespells this week! Please also give a special thank you to Ryan & Sage for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Lovespells, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

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[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 4 Confessionals

RTP is a monster. Anyway, we fucking crushed that immunity. I wanted Jordan pines voted out. I've only ever played one org with him and he was my nemesis and I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with a nemesis in this one. Why couldn't Willa have done better

we won the music video.. and my ass edited a full video plus a roast after never using adobe premiere before so im pretty shook!! our tribe definitiely seems more... "kumbaya" than the other tribe which... eh. i want the drama! but other than that our tribes good. i def feel like ive been getting complacent with talking to people so im gonna start trying to ramp back up my social game to how it was in the first round hopefully?? i need to start talking more and making bonds. (not much i can really do though, willow katie and chris are on the bottom) i just have to ensure theyre still on the bottom and hopefully keep katie safe for me to work with?? willow and chris can go i guess. also charlotte can go too tbh. like id prefer me/bryce/zach/katie over me/bryce/zach/charlotte but a returnees alliance is easier to put together, so ill work with charlotte!! idk why i dont wanna work with her i just dont get a good vibe from her?? sounds dumb but im trying to trust my gut. and ... yeah not much has happened and i dont wanna make major waves just yet.

Free rice is so fun and not having to do grammar? Amazing! Hope I can do well in this challenge to show I'm useful. I feel like their isn't a lot of socializing happening on our tribe but I'm gonna try to change that. katieare propane torches dangerous? I want to go get one at home depot today. katiehere is my second confessional: charlotte seems chill I wonder if she will work with me in this game?

WILLA IS FINALLY GONE. God I can't believe he didn't compete in a single challenge and managed to not get first boot. We did Emma so dirty, I can't believe it, bring her back. Anyway, going in this reward challenge I'm not too fussed about whether we win or not, it would be nice to see what the Wishing Well is all about but eh, I'm not too fussed. Immunity is what I really want because now that we got rid of the dead weight I think the fingers may start to pointed at the winners AKA me and Jay. We have enough votes to tie it since Jordan is with us. We could potentially swing Adam but he's very much linked with Ryan who is linked with Lexi so it's...a mess. No tribal pls @ immunity gods!

Wow we won another challenge. Is the other tribe even trying? I didn't want to submit too much in case I seemed like a threat so I'm happy that I didn't do the most and we still won. I never find anything in the wishing well tho. Wish I knew who was picking the right number. But focusing on the positive, we won again!! ryan matthewi literally don't know what to do if we go to tribal. i won't want the full jordan pines experience to be blindsided by him. obviously lexi and i are a duo so im hoping we have options if that happens....

So I was looking over my Malaysia confessionals for some reason. What started as me trying to find my FTC speech turned into me reliving horrible and painful memories of Mitchell Kalabang calling me an idiot in many creative ways. Anyways, the reason I mention this is because I noticed that I made a lot of good, detailed confessionals in that game and I want to make sure I can do the same here for Athena. Well as of now, I think I'm in an okay position. I make a bit of chit chat with everyone now and again. I'll need to step that up today though just in case we go to tribal. I admit I've been slacking in my relationships with anyone who's name doesn't rhyme with Pordan Jines. I did congratulate Ryan on winning Kvaløya and told Adam that I'm not gonna vote him out, so that's something. Lexi also came to me and was like "I promise I'll do better on the challenge next time." Like I'm some authority on effort. Ryan probably told her that I was a little annoyed that no one tried in the video challenge. To sum it up, Jordan Pines will always be targeted before me so I am perfectly content letting him take the reins for the time being. I have decent relationships with Ryan and Adam. Lexi is with Ryan for sure. And Luke sketches me out just like every other game I've played with him. I hope we win immunity. 

So we need to win this immunity or we fucked. Like it just doesn't make sense to me. On this tribe we have me jay luke ryan and adam. In theory we should never lose a challenge, but theory is dumb and we lose everything. Like we've managed to keep a cohesive group that i honestly think genuinly likes each other but like, if we lose its all over. If we win this immunity we can hopefully swap and go into it 6-6 and maybe bring katie over to our side. If we lose however everything is done. We go into what may be a divided tribal and lose any hope of keeping a tight 6. We can't lose. Dear god let us win immunity BryceCurrently I'm worried about Zach/Charlotte but I still trust them just something to look out for. Hoping we can win this immunity but if not I think I'd want chris or willow out probably but I'd fall back on my alliance with Zach/Charlotte/Carson

So of course our next immunity is a typing challenge. With this other tribe as insanely fast at typing as they are, I'm really not liking our chances at winning this immunity. I've been pretty busy the past couple of days so I feel like I may be in trouble if we lose.

wait i did that wrong; Katie Shoots Target # sorry i wasnt here on time

I love nothing more than a true underdog story. Zach and Bryce came in the fucking CLUTCH and pulled out that win for us. I can't believe it. In all my days of winning immunity challenges with a tribe, this is probably my favorite one. I'm so happy. I genuinely like everyone on my tribe and I'm so happy we aren't splitting up. Cue RTP laughing at this confessional because we're probably gonna have a swap next.

LOOK AT US WINNING IMMUNITY. SAFETY IS A GOOD COLOR ON ULTA!!!!!

Like ik im probs jinxing something but this game is boring nobody wants to talk game. also everyone just ends conversations after they respond to how are you, and i try and make  small talk... like?? whatevs. im focusing on this game and i rlly wanna make merge. (also zach + bryce killed it woo i love them) nothing is rlly happening in this game which sucks. i predict that therell be a swap next round which is.. eh?? idk how i feel about that but im hoping i wont be swapfucked. (also i think im acc becoming good friends with zach and im happy hes gr8!!)

Wow me and Zach scoring all the points is good. I don't want to be seen as a challenge threat tho in case we swap and I'm somehow not in numbers. It's odd how like everyone hounds Jordan Pines and I can't tell if its jokingly or if hes enemy number 1 FJSDFHSJDF. I'm glad to not go to tribal and to have a 7-5 advantage. Whenever I talk to Willow we talk about nothing for like 2 minutes and thats it. Hasn't eaten meatloaf wish I were her, but hasn't had enchiladas? suspicious... Maybe shes vegan but even still how can I trust someone who doesn't know the goodness of an enchilada. Really wish I had some idea what was happening with the other tribe. Not being in a one world situation is different and I wish I could talk to them more to get a better picture seeing as how I'm going in blind if we swap/merge. Anyways that's all for now

I am well and truly fucked. I slept through all of my alarms last night and ended up missing the immunity challenge which we LOST. Guess what the agenda for the last two people who were voted off was? They didn't compete in challenges. Guess what I just didn't do? COMPETE IN A FUCKING CHALLENGE. God I'm so screwed. My only hope right now is that Jordan and Jay don't hate me enough to vote with me and try and break up the duo of Ryan and Lexi. I'm going to have to pray that Adam will want to work with me too otherwise the vote will tie and I do NOT trust Jay enough to go to rocks for me. Jordan might do that but I don't trust Jay at all to risk his life like that for me. I have a lot of work to put into today so...pray for me. 

WE WON IMMUNITYT! I'm so happy, i need to make two confessionals so this is one: im so happy i pulled through. I tried so hard to focus and make sure we didn't go to tribal because genuinely I like everyone on our tribe andd i'd feel bad voting anyone tbh. im not best socially right now and i think i need to use this time critically. I PROMISE ILL MAKE BETTER ONES NEXT ROUND HEHE

tribe assessment: bryce-  iconic king. he's good at challenges, and i think him and i are semi close. i'm down for working w him and i think he's a good asset carson - my favourite i guess? im closest to him, him and i talk a LOT, and he's super fun and social. i'm a lil worried down the road ideally because of his social game, but for now he's an ally charlotte - her and i are in two games together, so it's risky. i trust her and like her, but our social game w/ one another isn't like phenomenal or anything. She is super sweet Chris - Like... him and I talk a fair amount, not a lot, but he's super cool. I love his puppy (or whoevers puppy that is) and i think he's super sweeet katie - similar as Chris. her and I dont talk a LOT but shes really cool and i think she's a good asset challenge-wise. willow- i love her she's so sweet but she never replies (or often, at least) so RIP! I do think ill end up working w her down the road though, she's a queen -- overall i do like everyone so going to tribal would be awful because i have to vote one out. BUT, theres been speculation on an upcoming swap too... so that's intense. but, nonetheless, im here for twists!

Nope. Thats all i got to say. Like we should have won that. and we didnt and now im mad. And we had a good group of 6 like it was the perfect group of people. But no. We now have to go down to 5 and fuck this up. So thanks RTP. Thanks a lot. Adam might go, he might now? i dont know. I dont care. Just give us a win please.

I'm trying to get the vote on Adam and I feel like even tho jay and Jordan agreed, just the way their talking to me making sure everything's alright with the plan and the fact Adam hasn't tried to PM me I feel like they're just lying

Ok so this is my immunity challenge confessional. We never win reward so i knew we were probably doomed and will never see the wishing well. but i didnt really care about reward. NOW FOR IMMUNITY. im alittle nervous because i feel like since we got rid of the non actives i'm the next in line. So i did my best for the immunity challenge. I mean i got 2 out of the 4 points we scored so i did half the work which in my opinion shows i care a bit. we were in the lead and then the other tribes whole fucking tribe comes out of nowhere and kicks our ass and im just like .....bye

Ok this is my before tribal council confessional. So after we lost ryan created an alliance with me,himself,jay, and jordan. which ok i dont trust jordan that much but i gotta take what i can get. They all want adam out even tho luke didnt do shit for the challenge. Which i like adam but not enough to try to switch the vote. So i prevoted adam but ryan and i feel like some shady shit may happen and one of us will go since people know were best friends. I'll raise hell if ryan goes and hopefully he'd do the same if i go. But i guess we'll see

Man this idol is gonna be so hard to find asdjkfadjsk wish their were hints to it AdamIt sucks that we lost the challenge. I didn't help much more than trying a few times in the beginning. I think I'll like it better when I can do individual challenges, cuz then I only have me to do the challenge so if I don't do it its just skin off my back. I have to make it there first, and that requires good relations with my tribemates, so I can't slack off anymore if I want to maintain that. I hope a swap comes soon, but not with the numbers stacked against Copa tribe members :/

I don't know what I'm going to do about tribal. I voted Luke but it really blows that we lost because I really liked all my teammates. I guess that's on me, maybe I shoulda done better and then we wouldn't be down a tribemate. Consequences and junk. I hope I'm not getting blindsided. I wouldn't put it past Jordan but it seems early in the game for that when we could be really good allies. Just depends if he trusts me I guess. I'm a loyal as fuck though, so I'm gonna make Jordan my main bitch this time. Only depends on if I'm his main bitch. Let's see if we go far together

Hahahahahahahahahahaha I found the idol. But its like one world style or w/e b/c I found the copa idol. And I had to give it to someone without knowing them and without them knowing i sent it. Thats unfortunate b/c I could bond with them but I guess if me and Luke are ever on the same tribe I can let him know and work with him. I was thinking Zach and Charlotte were really close but Charlotte didn't know about the idol map so maybe they aren't. But yaa I just asked my alliance to tell me who to give it to because I have no idea about any of those people having never played with them. Carson initially wanted me to give it to Jay O but then I decided to ask my whole alliance for input to try to make it seem like I'm close with them and want to stay together, which I did. And that's when they said lets give it to Luke. Also Anyone But Jordan Pines 2k17 which made me laugh

OKAY! I FORGOT TO DO ONE BUT ITS RIGHT AFTER TRIBAL SO HERE I AM! Adam is gone. Good. Me, Pines, Ryan, and Lexi are aligned. Meh, at best. If we lose, the original group of me Pines and Luke will split up their duo. Go us!

Did I do a confessional already? I have no idea. I'm in three games. Sue me. We won immunity this week so TBH I stopped paying attention after that happened. BUT HEY, APPARENTLY YOU CAN SEARCH FOR IDOLS AND I DIDN'T KNOW OOPS. Fuck, I'm the worst. How am I still here?