#sure bro ill send it to you after. just so we can keep track of my career progression or whatever. haha

[s8ans]

girl what kind of deranged advice was this guy going around giving people when he wasn’t trying to kill them…. 😭😭

[ashomodeus]

Each brother x Gn!MC

How each bro reacts to MC’s nudes

Mc has been feeling extra scandalous and decided to send the boys some special pictures.

Lucifer

He was in the middle of a meeting and decided to check on his phone. The photo threw him off but it wasn't a complaint. He decided to text MC back to meet him in his office later.

For the rest of the day he would think of that photo and would probably think of how much of a mess he would leave them.

Scenario   

"So care to explain this?" Lucifer showed MC the lewd photo.

"It's a nude" MC grinned looking quite proud of themself.

"Of course it is but care to explain why you sent this in the middle of my meeting, did you want others to see?" Lucifer walked up to MC looking down on them.

"No..." MC trailed off.

"I would rather much see the real deal" Lucifer started to undress MC. Kissing them harshly. MC couldn't help but to moan in his mouth. Lucifer decided to stop kissing and look at the needy MC. He took a photo of MC.

"Now this is a photo i'm keeping" Lucifer smiled. MC blushed a bit but was too needy to detest.

"Now on your knees, this won't be the only photo I take" Lucifer grinned.

Mammon

Mammon was trying to avoid his classes but his phone buzzed. He was terrified thinking Lucifer caught him but he looked at his phone and freezes. Obviously they would send the great Mammon nudes, right? He won't admit it but he's been picturing how MC looked nude. He ran home because he couldn't contain himself just the thought of MC being nude is turning him on. Even though he easily got turned on he still wanted more, after all he still is the avatar of greed. He's too shy to ask for more but he'll take what he can get.

Scenario

Mammon headed straight to his room the photo is still burned into his head. He laid on his bed and stared at the photo. He held his hard cock and began rubbing himself.

"Mmm MC" he groaned out. He was just over the edge when his door was opened.

He stopped straight in his tracks to see MC is at the door.

"Get outta here." Mammon's face was a deep red but he still was holding his cock.

"Did I say you could stop" MC smirked and closed the door behind them. Mammon put his phone down and continued. MC walked over to see his phone looking at the nude they sent.

"Awe, did my nude make you needy" MC teased.

"Y-yes" He continued to rub himself.

"Let me help you with that" MC smiled.

Levi

He was playing a game since he did his work prior. He just finished a round and checked his DDD. He gasped loudly the friends he was on a call with questioned if he was okay. He hung up and stared at the photo. This must be a mistake. He texted MC asking if they meant to send it. MC told him that it was for him Levi couldn't help but smile. He stared at the photo and thought of all the things he would do to MC.

Scenario

Levi walked to MC's door and invited himself in. Levi walked in on MC taking another nude. He froze.

"OhMyGodI'mSoSorry" Levi turned around.

"Turn back around, I want to take more for you but you're here already." Nude MC walked up to Levi.

"For me?" He questioned.

"Yes, anyways can you please help" MC grabbed Levi and sat him on the bed. MC began to rub his hard dick that's practically trying to jump out of his pants.  All Levi could do is hide his face moaning. He thought it was a dream but boy it wasn't.

Satan

He was reading a book. He saw the text on his phone and didn't realize who texted him. He quickly looked at his phone just to get back to his book. It took him a second to process what he just saw but when he did he picked up his phone again. He saved the image of course and tried to get back to reading but he couldn't get his mind off of the photo of MC. Just the perfect way they looked how badly he wanted to hear them moan. His imagination got the better of him so he texted MC to come see him.

Scenario

"You wanted to see me?" MC smiled. Satan wasted no time getting up.

"That photo you sent me..." Satan trailed off.

"You like it" MC bit their lip waiting for his response.

"Yes, but why didn't you just come here and show me" Satan put his hand on their hair and pulled it a bit.  A moan escaped MC's lips that excited Satan even more.

"I wanted you to be surprised" MC looked Satan in the eyes.

"Well why don't we just make some photos together then we both have something of each other." Satan smirked.

Asmo

Asmo was zoning out in the middle of class when he got a text he quickly looked at it seeing it was from MC. He giggled looking at the nudes MC sent him. Asmo sent some of his own back. They exchanged a bit of dirty talk of course. Asmo couldn't help but think about how much he would pay just to fully pleasure MC.

Scenario

Asmo came home to MC already in his room. He wasn't surprised but he smiled as he closed the door.

"What's wrong MC?" Asmo grinned knowing exactly what they wanted.

"Well, I wanted to see the real deal..." MC said full of Lust. How could Asmo deny such boldness.

"I mean since you asked" Asmo smiled and took off his pants. He started to rub himself walking up to MC and got on top of them.

"How about we act out what we said in those messages" Asmo smiled.

Beel

Beel was enjoying his 5th meal of the day while getting a text. He saw MC nude on his phone. He didn't want to embarrass MC so he texted MC about how that might of been an accident. After MC spent around 10 minutes explain to Beel about the purpose of that photo he began to stare at his phone while eating. Suddenly he was it hungry for just food anymore.

Scenario

Beel: I'm hungry

MC: go eat silly

Beel: No, i'm hungry for something else.

MC: What?

Beel: I'm hungry for you

MC: meet me in my room.

Beel spent no time getting to MC's room. MC decided to surprise Beel by covering themself in whipped cream.

"You look so delicious, but there's no time to talk" Beel's Voice got deep as he said the last part. He laid the MC down and began licking all the whipped cream off of them.

"Now let's see how you really taste" Beel groaned.

Belphie

This demon was sleeping but he did wake up when MC sent the message. At first he thought he was dreaming but he was sent another photo. After an hour he woke up with a grin on his face. He headed straight to MC's room. 

Scenario

"Mm Belphie..." MC was already pleasuring themself as Belphie entered the room. He grinned and walked over to MC. MC didn't stop but made eye contact with Belphie.

"I couldn't wait for you anymore I need you Belphie." MC said as they continued.

"let me help" Belphie began to pleasure MC. He went slow but deep. He gave MC passionate kisses making sure to go faster when they became breathless.

"You need to help me with my problem too..." Belphie grabbed MC's hand and placed it on his throbbing cock.

"Maybe after ill reward you" Belphie smiled.

[kismetintheuniverse]

Bucciarati’s Gang + La Squadra Texting HCs

╔══════════════╗

     𝕭𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖆��𝖎'𝖘 𝕿𝖊𝖆𝖒

╚══════════════╝

ʙʀᴜɴᴏ ʙᴜᴄᴄɪᴀʀᴀᴛɪ

- Types like your boss.

- ‘Will someone please pick Narancia up from the store? He broke the car.’

- He will say the most outlandish thing in a completely serious tone.

- ‘I’m in the hospital, got shanked by a tweaker.’

- The gang thought he was joking. He was not.

- Uses emojis and slang sparingly. Phrases like ‘omw’ and ‘ty’ are most common. 

- The only emojis he uses often is ‘👍’ and ‘👋’.

- Overall professional and understandable.

- Doesn’t use images, gifs, or videos.

ʟᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴀʙʙᴀᴄᴄʜɪᴏ

- Very sarcastic.

- ‘Oh no im sorry should i come over and kiss your boo-boo?’

- Doesn’t use much punctuation aside from ending punctuation and hyphens. Can’t use commas to save his life.

- No one can tell if he is actually mad or being sarcastic.

- Uses ‘😶’ and ‘🧐’ most often.

- Doesn’t use images/gifs/videos

- Refuses to use dms, and often get made fun of it for it.

- ‘Giorno please im on my knees im begging you please stop being cringe im actually going to cry please ill do literally anything just shut the fuck up.’

ɢᴜɪᴅᴏ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀ

- Types very modern.

- ‘can one of yall pick me up slommy from the store’

- Doesn’t use punctuation and capitalization.

- Constantly quoting memes and being the Funny Man™.

- ‘you smell like ten cans of bounce dat ass’

- All bark, no bite.

- Uses ‘😘’ and ‘😏’ emoji the most.

- Sends this image at least twice a day.

ɴᴀʀᴀɴᴄɪᴀ ɢʜɪʀɢᴀ

- Types with a lot of slang

- ‘Bro Just Me Or Does Mista Not Know How To Wipe His Mfing Ass’

- Capitalizes every word and often misspells things.

- Quotes memes, but not as much as Mista.

- ‘Foogie Pookie I’m Scared There’s A Wasp In The Citchin’

- Purposely tries to give Fugo a stroke.

- Uses the ‘🧡’ and ‘🍊’ emojis the most.

- Doesn’t send images, but sends gifs.

ᴘᴀɴɴᴀᴄᴏᴛᴛᴀ ꜰᴜɢᴏ

- Types rather properly, like he’s writing an email.

- ‘Narancia, I found this video to help with your math lesson. I’m proud you’ve gotten to 7th grade level! https://youtu.be/Xb951Vqs4Vc Please use it if you need help. - 🍓’

- Uses a passive-aggressive tone when he gets angry.

- Talks in the group chat the least, prefers to use dms.

- Signs his messages like an old lady.

- Takes a long time to type.

- ‘The meeting is at 4 pm today, correct?’

- Uses the ‘🍓’ emoji exclusively.

- Doesn’t send images/gifs, usually just sends math videos for Narancia.

ɢɪᴏʀɴᴏ ɢɪᴏᴠᴀɴɴᴀ

- Types properly, but not as much as Fugo.

- ‘Abbacchio, I’m sorry but I have some important things to discuss with Capo. :c’

- Always speaks in a polite or serious tone. 

- Doesn’t use emojis, uses ‘:D’, ‘:c’ etc.

- Doesn’t send a lot of images, but might send cute group selfies.

- ‘Uh, I need back up, Narancia is bleeding out on the ground. Please hurry-’

- Will do anything to avoid calling.

╔══════════════╗

         𝕷𝖆 𝕾𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖉𝖗𝖆

╚══════════════╝

ʀɪꜱᴏᴛᴛᴏ ɴᴇʀᴏ

- Doesn’t know how to spell, but still tries his best to be professional.

- ‘PLEASe attend the MEATING at 12, thank youo’

- Auto correct either helps him or hurts him.

- Sends cute images of animals occasionally.

- ‘How do you WORK a phone i need TO know PLEASe’

- Wants to use emojis, doesn’t know how. (Despite Melone showing him multiple times.)

- Bless his poor soul.

ᴘʀᴏꜱᴄɪᴜᴛᴛᴏ

- Types properly, but isn’t by any means professional.

- ‘Will you all please shut the fuck up? It’s three am and you are FLOODING the group chat.’

- Doesn’t take any bull from anyone.

- Has admin in all of the group chats.

- Uses the ‘🙃’ and ‘🖕’ emojis the most.

- ‘You’re all going to hell. 😊👐’

- Gets away with the most bs.

- Doesn’t use images/gifs/videos

ɢʜɪᴀᴄᴄɪᴏ

- Types angrily.

- ‘YOU’RE ALL STUPID FUCKS. PLEASE JUST SHUT UP. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT.’

- Gets annoyed over literally any grammar mistake, so he isn’t very active.

- When he’s around, he tends to gaslight most situations.

- Uses the ‘❄️’ and ‘💙’ emojis exclusively.

- Only ever sends photos to start arguments. (Ex. A picture of Formaggio eating shredding cheese from the fridge at 3 am.)

- Probably shouldn’t be allowed to have a phone.

ᴍᴇʟᴏɴᴇ

- Types.. well...

- ‘Ciaooo~ What’s up lgbt community? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧’

- He gets on everyone’s nerves, or helps them out tremendously. It’s a 50/50.

- Will spam any cute gif he sees until he finds a better one.

- Doesn’t use emojis, but instead uses those emoticons.

- He’s the one who makes all the group chats.

- Usually starts fights, but never finishes them.

- (Aka. he ghosts halfway through once someone else joins the argument.) 

- Spams LOONA fancams in chat.

ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀɢɢɪᴏ

- Types like a Mista 2.0

- ‘just admit you like feet and move on 🙄‘

- CEO of gaslighting, will 100% make every situation worse then it already is.

- ‘wow so i’m here shitting my guts out and not a single one of yall will come get me tp? woooow. see yall in hell ✌️’

- Loves to make everyone mad, but his target is usually Prosciutto. 

- He uses so many emojis that it’s impossible to keep track of them.

- Spams nasty f*tish art when he’s mad at someone in chat.

- The king of memes. Uses gifs, images, videos, you name it. They tell him to stop but he doesn’t.

ɪʟʟᴜꜱᴏ

- Types pretty casually.

- ‘Okay so im just curious as to which one of yall clogged the toilet with a FAT log, cause this shit nasty asf’

- Extremely passive aggressive and manipulative, never outright says when he’s mad.

- Only uses the ‘💅’ emoji.

- Gossips 24/7 with Gelato in dms, and has a gc called ‘We love Formaggio.’

- (Hint: All they do is talk shit about him in that gc.)

- Sends so many reaction images it’s not even funny.

ᴘᴇꜱᴄɪ

- Types like every teenage girl.

- ‘Hi guys!!! uwu’

- Everyone actually seems to ignore him for no reason.

- He has great ideas, but no one listens. Like, he could make communicating with each other x10 easier, but they just disregard him.

- Hates going into chat for the most part. 

- ‘Guys- formaggio’s cat threw up on the carpet, what do I do?’

- Once was traumatized by a video Formaggio sent of a guy twerking butt-naked.

- Uses the ‘😊’ and ‘🙏’ emojis the most.

- Wants to use images/gifs/videos but yelled at the last time he sent one.

ꜱᴏʀʙᴇᴛ & ɢᴇʟᴀᴛᴏ

- Both type in a similar tone.

- ‘Who the fuck stole my casserole.’ - Sorbet

- ‘who stole my baby’s casserole 😶’ - Gelato

- Gelato doesn’t capitalize his sentences, ever. His nickname in chat is even lowercase.

- Sorbet only uses ‘.’ as punctuation. 

- Gelato starts the most petty bull, Sorbet actually causes issues.

- Both are often kicked from the group chat for being overly affectionate. 

- ‘so i just wanted to mention that im p sure i saw illuso spill cereal on the couch and not clean it up 😁 ’

- vs.

- ‘Illuso split cereal on the fucking couch and didn’t clean up after himself. Nasty fucker.’

- I’m sure you can tell who’s who.

- Sorbet doesn’t use emojis, but like Ghiaccio, he sends images that starts fights.

- Meanwhile Gelato finds it hard to go 30 seconds without using emojis/images.

[altumvidetur]

Kaishin Fic Recs

Previously: Haikyuu!! Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I’ve decided to split it in a series of posts, and, well, when it comes to DCMK, I have one major OTP. So here’s enough Kaishin to keep you entertained for a year:

The Dwelling Night, by proser132

Three shot. KaiShin. Brief moments were all they had, but dwelling on dreams is sometimes enough.

In Theory, by orphan_account

Kaito's got a whole list of cheesy and awful pickup lines to use on Shinichi.

(Un)fortunately for him, Shinichi's got just as many to throw back.

As You Wish, by orphan_account

Shinichi hasn't been doing a very good job of pretending he isn't hiding something from Kaito, and Kaito is more than determined to find out what it is -- even if it means asking everyone the detective knows in order to do so.

He just wants to know what all the boxes are for.

you’re the reason i come home, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi comes home after a two-week investigation in New York. Kaito could not be more thrilled.

Lovesick, by DragonSorceress22

"You know what I want? I want a fic where Kaito sends out a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I guess it could go the other way too, where Conan solves a heist notice but then he gets sick but he can't NOT go. I want to read that fic." "There's tons of fics like that..." And now there's one more.

whispers and nicks and all these tricks, by LunaDarkside

In which there is sex pollen at a heist, and Kaito and Shinichi end up in the same room. Coincidentally enough.

Be Real, by DragonSorceress22

This, KID thought, was what someone reaching their limit looked like.

a study in scarlette, by kittebasu

There are people who want to live forever, and then there is Shinichi, who just wants to live a little longer than this.

wait a minute (so you’re not just losing the dress), by LunaDarkside

Everything is overwhelmingly good. And then Kaito has to go and say it.

“I’ve never done this before,” he mumbles mindlessly against the pliant softness of Shinichi’s lips, and everything immediately stops.

“Wait, what?” Shinichi jerks upwards, eyes wide.

Or, neither Shinichi nor Kaito has any experience, but they make do.

The printer’s a lie, by OrphanText

In which Kuroba has an annoying printer, a very good looking (and mildly terrifying) RA, and general bad ideas up his sleeves (but it works out in the end).

The Alcohol Test, by DragonSorceress22

When your rival-turned-best-friend is a phantom thief who has recently reached legal drinking age, there’s really only one responsible way to approach the matter. Spreadsheets.

Getting Off Track, by solomonara

The easiest way to find out what someone wants is to ask them, so of course neither Shinichi nor Kaito KID is going to do that. (OR: In which Shinichi and Kaito KID take turns falling into each other's arms.)

Wouldn’t Change A Thing, by BlackKatJinx

“Don't you get tired of it?”

“'It'?” He asks.

“Stealing.”

By Any Other Name, by AngelicSentinel

the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you hear them say your name.

Snowed In, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi and Kaito are exceptionally bad at quiet nights at home.

Go Out With a Bang (Since We’re to Wilt Anyway), by KXL

Love can be cruel, and painful, but Kaito knew that already. Maybe he's just a masochist.

take in another breath (get closer), by Melomaniac

He paused on the threshold of the door between the pseudo-corridor and the seating area, and faintly corrected himself. Not as alone as he thought. Not as alone at all.

Sat by himself, with his chin resting on his hand, an arm loosely propped on the small table, an explosion of paper and assorted important looking documents in front of him, flask of (presumably) coffee held to his lips, was Kudou Shinichi, whose eyes had met Kaito’s when he walked into the carriage, had widened, and hadn’t looked away since.

In which there is a late night (or an early morning), a train, copious amounts of flirting, a phone, a name, and a stolen heart.

Last Day Again, by Phantoms_Echo

(Summary by me: Groundhog Day!AU with Kaito becoming more and more unhinged as he desperately tries to break the time loop he’s stuck in.)

Net Force, by LunaDarkside

Ran decides it's high time for Shinichi and Kaito to get together. Awkward matchmaking ensues.

Of Corset Hurts, by KXL

Shinichi and Kaito are both pretty much done with the situation, though for somewhat different reasons. Both reasons involve overly long dresses to some degree.

Ace up Their Sleeves, by Procrastination_Sensation

Summary by me: Soulmates!AU in which seeing your soulmark in someone else (your soulmate) causes debilitating pain until the two of you kiss.

Murder by Cremation, by KXL

Capturing the lawless monsters who ate people after burning them up was, apparently, the easy part.

Halloween Heist, by Phantoms_Echo

Because Halloween Scavenger Hunt doesn't sound as nice.

Trick or Treat, Tantei-kun! Up for a little Halloween game? I’ve left clues all over town. Find them all, you’ll get a treat. Fail to find them in time, you’ll get a trick. Good luck, Tantei-kun. -Kaitou KID

the suffering of fools, by AngelicSentinel

It's Las Vegas; the lights are bright, the liquor is flowing, and Ran married someone other than Shinichi. He just wants to drown his sorrows, but a half-familiar face steals his drink.

♠ ♦ ♣ ♥ Case Files, by AngelicSentinel

Solving life's little mysteries, one at a time.

one-shots in the suffering of fools universe

A Study in Trust, by Calculatrice

Conan swallows anger and condemnation and, for the very first time, gives Kaitou KID the benefit of the doubt. ________________

In which Conan constantly has to revise what he thinks of a certain thief, and is frankly getting pretty sick of feeling like his subconscious is already ahead of him.

Jacket, by Calculatrice

He turns to look at KID, grimacing as his overlong sleeves swish around him.

“It doesn’t exactly fit me,” he frowns as he points out the obvious. “Does this do anything for you?”

Kiss and tell., by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi might have gotten a little ahead of himself. And KID. Luckily, Hakuba has a level head and a soft spot for lovesick genius-idiots.

the goat one-shot, by helloimtrash

They're family now.

Interrogation, by Calculatrice

Admittedly, there are many things Kaito could probably be blamed for, but pulling Shinichi into the nearest empty hallway to kiss him senseless isn’t one of them.

So It Goes, by Calculatrice

It goes like this.

(In which Murphy’s Law isn’t much of a law - more something to be gleefully stomped on.)

Mii Plaza, by Calculatrice and helloimtrash

“Okay,” Kaito grins as the opening notes of Wii Sports ring out. “Are you ready for defeat?”

“Can’t we just play Mario Kart,” Shinichi frowns, crossing his legs as he watches Kaito push the coffee table out of the way. “It’s like, one in the morning.”

The Forensics of Falling, by LunaDarkside

[FF.Net Link] When fans of world-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito begin turning up dead, Inspector Kudou Shinichi is put on the case.

the toxicology of trust, by LunaDarkside

World-famous magician and actor Kuroba Kaito and the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force's star inspector Kudou Shinichi finally get some much-needed time off. Or they would, if there wasn't a killer on their cruise.

(sequel to The Forensics of Falling)

On Familiarity, by lastdream

No one had ever known Kaito quite like Shinichi did, and Kaito wasn't sure he could take it.

Lies and the Art of Relaxation, by DragonSorceress22

Shinichi is stressed and Kaito is a liar. Business as usual.

And Again, by Calculatrice

It’s late, late in the night, and while on another night they may have been awake and neck-deep in plans, or perhaps delirious and making silly conversation, tonight he and Kaito are both curled in bed.

the only bed worth sleeping, by LunaDarkside

Kaito's not a detective, but he's pretty sure there's no logical explanation for Shinichi's disappearance from his apartment. Or for the cat that's shown up in his kitchen.

Magic Eight Ball, by Rikkamaru

Shinichi chases Kaitou Kid into the Blue Parrot thinking he's injured.

(For the Kaishin Discord, which made a "challenge" that a few people took up.)

swing for the fences, by LunaDarkside

"How to Fall in Love with Kudou Shinichi (Featuring Pink Panties, Dead Bodies, and Ill-Advised Bets): A Comprehensive and Kind of Embarrassing Guide" by Kuroba Kaito.

In The Soul, by Calculatrice

Shinichi ferries souls from the shores of the living to those of the dead, so they may pass safely on to an eternal afterlife. It’s really not a difficult concept, and definitely not one he thought could be wilfully ignored, but Kuroba Kaito obviously didn’t get the memo.

even miracles, by LunaDarkside

“No, Mother,” Shinichi says pleasantly. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to host a dinner party to find me a wife.”

bros before, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi needs a fake date for his parents' vow renewal ceremony. Naturally, he asks his best friend, Hattori. 

maybe I was going too fast, by Ann1215

A year after Kaito faces off Conan, who'd figured out his identity, he comes across Kudou Shinichi during their first year of university.

Trouble is, Kudou has no idea who Kaito is.

swear i’ll never leave again, by Ann1215

When Kaito eventually grows tired of his mother's relentless matchmaking tendencies, he ropes Shinichi into tricking everyone they know and love that they're both engaged. To each other. And it's easy enough, because all they have to do is:

1. Don't lie to each other. 2. Don't tell anyone about their plan. 3. Don't fall in love with each other.

At least, it was supposed to be easy.

(See you) Next Illusion!, by PhantomsEcho

Collections of Oneshots too long to fit in Next Conan Hint.

beneath a waxing moon, by kittebasu

The man stares at him, and then shakes his head, messy hair shaking with it. “Car trouble, Detective?” The way his lips curl around the word ‘detective’ strikes Shinichi as strange, eerily familiar, and Shinichi almost has to physically shake the feeling away before he can reply.

“Engine’s making a weird noise,” Shinichi says, and then his thoughts catch up with alacrity, his muscles tensing all at once. “What makes you think I’m a detective?”

“Police tags on your car,” the man replies, grin growing wider. “Plus this is a Camry from the nineties. No one drives those but police, these days, and regular officers drive patrol cars.” He leans forward a little, gloved hands circling his helmet and lowering it slightly to his handlebars for extra balance. “Far from undercover, if you know what you’re looking for.”

The cloud cover shifts, revealing the gorgeous full moon, and the light catches the man just right, surrounding him in a pearly glow and putting his face in shadow. “And you know what you’re looking for?”

broken glass, by jadedgalaxies

KID presses Shinichi into the wall, covering his mouth with a gloved hand and shushing him quietly. Shinichi’s heart thrums. KID isn’t looking at him but every part of KID that is pressed against Shinichi is electrified. Even amidst the circumstances that led to this moment, KID’s heartbeat is steady under Shinichi’s trembling fingers. His hair tickles Shinichi’s nose, his scent sweet and overpowering. KID is warm, alive, thrilling. Shinichi’s face warms.

In this moment, beneath the pale moonlight, helping KID evade arrest, detective Kudou Shinichi realizes he’s in love with the Phantom Thief, Kaitou KID. And he probably has been for a long time.

-

Shinichi realizes he's in love with Kaitou KID and that's just the beginning.

Owned and Never More Free, by Curry Jolokia

Kaitou Kid is uncatchable. Except for this.

about a love that glows, by LunaDarkside

The good news is that it’s not an overt time limit on his life, and it’s not anything parasitic. It’s not a life-force drainer, or a bad luck charm, or a magnet for unfortunate circumstances. It’s not going to bother him in day-to-day life.

The bad news is that if Shinichi falls in love with someone, he’ll die. And they’ll die.

(There is no good news, really.)

the empty vault of night, by AngelicSentinel

Shinichi offers Kid a gift. For a price.

Sound of Silence, by Cesela

His return to being Kudou Shinichi was not everything he had hoped for, not with Ran moving on, a limp and a shattered soul as he struggles with the return to normalcy. And then there’s the neighbour with a soft smile slowly battering down his walls. Kaishin / Shinkai

A Case Closed Carol, by solomonara

With apologies to Charles Dickens. Shinichi is working way too hard and has zero time for Christmas or anything else, really. But a rather unlikely source is about to put him back on track...

where villains spend the weekend, by aishiteita

A former teen sleuth enlists a should-be-retired-thief's help to slap ennui in the face.

(Alternatively, a study in motives.)

always ends in a hazy shower scene, by LunaDarkside

Shinichi didn’t mean to shack up with an internationally wanted thief.

[uncoordinated-house-cat]

pls rant about nicholas ii 👀

dude i am so glad u asked. i mean, u didn’t ask for the entire rant about both russian revolutions, but here u are anyway. (but also im a teenager history student so this is very biased and i checked most of my facts but not all of them so don’t quote me and if a history person who actually knows what they’re doing finds a mistake don’t @ me) ok so nicholas ii was an absolute ********** and had an iq of -1000 and he was still super convinced that he could run all of russia, which is like a freaking huge country with millions of people who are super poor (peasants made up 85% of the population in 1905 when the first revolution happened, the number of people below the poverty line was probably way higher when the actual revolution happened and he got overthrown but bitch had it cOMING) 

so here’s the thing. nick, a spoiled child who let’s say is twelve years old when his dad alexander dies of assassination (omg i googled the dates and HE WAS TWELVE I WAS RIGHT FHDSJKLAFHSD) has been told, since he was a tiny but no less annoying baby, that he was amazing and very smart and was absolutely entitled to rule all of russia and he was like ‘hell yeah bro this is my divine right wahoo guess i don’t have to pay attention in my ‘how to be a good leader’ lessons cos god chose me to be the tsar so i already am one #thuglife’ 

so he met this girl named alix, who was princess of somewhere irrelevant and incredibly religious (and also deluded but that becomes important later) and he falls in love with her and they get married, which is nice but probably not a good long-term decision because through her friend, nick meets rasputin (and i love the ra ra rasputin song but rasputin was very very problematic) and that’s one of the many, many, many stupid things he does that makes literally every single person in russia (again, lots of people) mad at him. but nick is in love, and he marries alix, and this is all very nice if russia was a substantially smaller and easier country to run and nick was actually a competent leader then maybe there wouldn’t have been a revolution! but alas, this was not the case. 

so as we all know, russia is fucking enormous. for people who have never looked at a map in their entire life, this is russia

and it has more landmass than several continents put together. chonky boi. and the capital city where the royal family lives? well, you’d assume it’s somewhere in the middle ish, since russia’s such a huge country and you kinda need to be in the middle in order to have literally any idea what’s going on and stop your people from revolting under your freaking nose, so put it in the middle. 

but nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. they put the capital in st. petersburg, a place that’s like five minutes drive from finland, estona, latvia, ukraine (although that would probably take a while but u get the point) and LITERALLY NOWHERE NEAR ANYWHERE IN RUSSIA. ARGH. 

i’m pretty sure the reasoning for this was ‘it’s been there since forever and everything was fine then so we don’t need to change it’ cos back when russia was actually a country-sized country instead of the mammoth it is now (we’re talking 1539, and by country-sized country it was still bigger than most of western europe put together), the country was all the way over to the left, where st. petersburg is, so they probably had the capital there foreeeeeeever. even after they expanded and became mcfreaking enormous bc sOmEoNe (not naming names *cough cough* ivan the terrible *cough cough*) decided it would be an awesome idea to have some expansionist policy, yay, and now we’ve ended up with this monstrosity. and while you might think that having a big country is great, it’s not. here’s why:

- so many people. soooo many people

- how u gonna keep track of all of them?? it takes like 8 years to get from one side of this bad boy to the other

- since nobody can control russia cos of all the land and all the people, the culture just goes absolutely backward. the peasants are too poor to afford food, let alone an education, and it’s not as if nicky is gonna build free public schools or raise wages or anything, lol, so the collective russian mindset is a bit of a dumpsterfire

- if, say, a revolution were to happen, which of course it can’t hahaha everybody know’s nick’s the divine ruler and overthrowing him wouldn’t be possible cos everyone’s so thrilled with their life in a very cold place with no food, awful policies, terrible wages and working conditions and a tsar who cares more about hanging out with his family than actually doing his duty as leader of the biggest country in the world?? then the tsar wOULDN’T KNOW THE REVOLUTION WAS HAPPENING UNTIL IT WAS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND SOMEONE WAS HOLDING A GUN TO HIS STUPID TINY PEABRAIN HEAD

and nick did not do a lot to help the russian people to live unproblematic, non-poverty-stricken lives. in the early 1900s, there was a big move to the cities cos everyone was moving to the cities which meant there were more educated people getting jobs or going to university and going ‘hey, our wages are shit, nobody has any food and it seems like the tsar is doing a really bad job and just living in the lap of luxury while his entire country suffers?? should we do something about this??’

but he did do something. oh, boy. nicky, looking at all his ancestors going ‘bro aren’t u gonna expand the country that’s literally the one thing russia is good at u can’t break our streak’ went and conquered siberia. then he built a railway, cos he needed a water outlet for trade and stuff. he called it the trans-siberian railway. he wanted to make it really big, and cross over into manchuria, so he had a bit of a war with china which he won and then he built the railway in manchuria. 

meanwhile, japan has been practising their war tactics a lot recently and while they don’t have much of a reputation in the west (like at all, nobody takes them seriously) and they also want to expand and flex their fighting skills a bit, they cross into manchuria and are like ‘i want this land. gimme’ and nick is like ‘nah fam i’m good’ and japan is like ‘>:( one last warning’ and nick is like ‘lol ur country is tiny and my country is huge have u seen all these buff russian soldiers i have guarding the railway i could crush u with my boot’ and then the japanese launch a surprise attack! on the russian squadron at port arthur. nick made the pikachu face, then the russo-japanese war started. 

uh oh, bad decision! looks like the russians are losing and even tho there’s lots of them there are more japanese and they have better battle tactics, so nick sends more soldiers. thing is, everyone in russia is already super poor so they can’t afford to have the [relatively] healthy, working men go off to war and die, cos that’s not practical at all and now they have even less money and food. fast forward, russia loses the war, nick makes the pikachu face again, stays in his nice mansion while the rest of russia starts going ‘grrr’ as well as ‘brrrr’.

and then this dude called gapon who’s a nice priest guy goes to petition the tsar to have better working conditions, fairer wages, a bunch of other stuff but they’re all very fair and reasonable. nick is like ‘nooooo!!’ and his uncle is like ‘nOoOoO!!!!!!1!!!’ and orders the army to shoot the peaceful protesters, so it gets called bloody sunday. this makes everyone really unhappy again, and it’s called the russian revolution of 1905 cos there are a lot of strikes and even while nick is like ‘haha this isn't happening’ they don’t reeeally accomplish much bc nick stays on the throne, and the russians are very mad but not mad or coordinated enough to overthrow the autocracy. there was this new parliament thingo called the duma, because nick’s only competent political adviser, count witte, was like ‘bro u literally have no choice but to form a new democratic government’ and nick was like ‘oh ok what if i made a government but it’s not really democratic or effective bc they have very limited power’ and witte was like ‘nick nO’ and nick was like ‘hehe nick yes’ and the duma was formed

--fast forward to 1917-- *time vworp noises*

so russia is poor. again. everyone is mad. again. all the men have been sent off to war. again. this time, it’s because of world war 1! 

and yikes, the russian army have it bad. like seriously, those dude were suffering lots and lots. very ouchy, no food, too cold, everyone is dying. it wasn’t great.

nick was like ‘hmm this war seems to be going well anyway look at my children aren’t they cute one of them broke an expensive vase today that’s so funny!!!’ (i made that up but he really didn’t care much and spent a lot of money u get the gist)

lots of strikes are happening. nobody is happy, and this time there are actually some organised people who can channel the rage into a revolution that might actually get something done this time. 

by the way, rasputin has turned up!! *cue the ra ras*

so rasputin introduces himself to some lady who’s a friend of alix, and alix, being super religious and super deluded and also having a sick son -

oh yeah, she had like five kids (was it five? not sure it was a lot) and the first four of them were girls and she was like ‘oh my god who’s gonna rule the country i have to have a boy’ and then she finally had a boy and his name was alexei and everything was great until they discovered that he had haemophilia, which is a hereditary illness that means ur skin is super weak or smth and whenever u, like, bump a table and u would normally get a little bruise, instead u start bleeding like you’ve been shot and yeah it was super problematic and it meant alexei was constantly sick and bleeding

- and so alix said to rasputin, who proclaimed to heal people like he was basically jesus, ‘yo dude can u pls heal my son it’s pretty urgent ngl’ and rasputin was like ‘uh huh lemme just take a look at him’ and he had a check up with alexei who somehow healed?? i don’t know how, he just sorta did, (he still had the haemophilia but alix was convinced it was gone for good) and so she turned into rasputin’s Number One Fan and started spouting all his very false religious conspiracy theories and made him a very important member of politics which was Not Good

and then count witte, the sensible one, was like ‘hmm this rasputin fellow seems kinda shady also he has thousands of STIs i don’t think it’s a good look if ur wife is hanging out with him all the time bc there are lots of rumours and he just seems super sketchy i reckon we should get rid of him’ and nick was like ‘no U’

he just uno reverse-carded him. witte tried to investigate rasputin and then nick was like ‘hmm i guess i’ll dissolve the duma cos ur being annoying’ and witte resigned like two days later. fair. if i had to deal with nick on a daily basis, there would probably be a lot of punching (of him, by me, in case u couldn’t tell bc im full of rage)

and there were a lot of rumours going around about alix & rasputin (which was kinda fair, because they hung out all the time and rasputin was a very sus person) so alix’s credibility was questioned and she was accused of selling secrets to the enemy, which was a bit dramatic (im pretty sure it was because she came from germany, and she was called ‘the german woman’ by a lot of the public)

--- also this isn’t very relevant to nick but i thought it was incredibly funny how rasputin died and it was time for a break from all that serious stuff so ~INTERLUDE~ --- 

note: start listen to rasputin by boney m cos this is where it gets hilarious (and the song also narrates his assassination lol)

so nobody liked rasputin. he had a lot of sex with pretty much everyone, he was very religious but also spouted a lot of nonsense, he was involved in some very dubious stuff and he was in favour of a lot of policies that the general public did not want at all. so a lot of people tried to murder him. and nearly all of them failed!! turns out, rasputin is really difficult to assassinate. there were a bunch of attempts on his life, all failed, before this one dude was like ‘bro i gotta put a stop to this’ so he invited rasputin to his house cos he was rsaputin’s bud (his name was yusupov btw)

dude gave him some cakes. they were laced with cyanide (poison) and rasputin was like cronch cronch, nom nom. did not die. ate a lot of cake. 

yusupov was like ?????????????

gave him some wine. wine was also poisoned. rasputin was like ‘dude this wine is good where can i get some more’ and he drank three glasses of it. the wine was poisoned with cyanide as well, btw. and the doctors who had helped plan this had carefully put enough cyanide in each glass to kill SEVERAL MEN. still not dead somehow???? 

so yusupov went ‘ok time for plan c’ and shot him. rasputin was like ‘ow’ and fell over. yusupov checked his pulse, there was now, he was like ‘ok good job’

and then while they were discussing their cover story upstairs, yusupov went back down to check on rasputin’s body and dude was sTILL ALIVE.

so they shot him again, tied him up, shot him one more time for good measure (and they shot him in the forehead at some point but apparently he was still alive???) and then they threw him into a frozen river. where he died of hypothermia, after having consumed enough cyanide to kill dozens of men and being shot three times, one of which was literally in his head. hhhh.

*sigh of relief* he finally died. fINALLY. the dudes who assassinated him got exiled but nothing worse than that because everyone in russia was like ‘well someone had to do it’

~~END OF INTERLUDE~~

now shit is getting rEAL. i mean, not for nick, obviously. but everyone else is like ‘ohmygosh rasputin is dead we actually got something done yay!!!’ 

so it’s february 1917 in petrograd. nick is on holiday with his family 800km away with literally no idea what’s going on. 15 million russians were away at war, and 1.7 million had died. lots of strikes and protests are happening. bIG protests. people were breaking into stores to get food, because of the awful food shortages, and it was very very cold so everyone was slightly extra mad. the police shot at some of the people who had gotten up onto the rooftops, so they protests turned into riots. all the people who were on strike from work joined the riots, and the women workers who had come out for international women’s day marched around the nearby factories and got another 50,000 people (including students and teachers) to join the riots (which was A Lot) and by the 25th of february the riots had gotten so big that pretty much every business in petrograd was shut down. literally everyone was rioting. 

the tsar was like ‘hmm that doesn’t look good’ and ordered his army to shut the riots down. there were about 180k troops in the city, but only about 12k were actually able to fight bc the rest of them were all injured from the war. they didn’t want to suppress the riots by force bc a lot of women were in the crowds (guess chivalry isn’t dead?) so when the tsar was like ‘no u gotta do it’ the troops were like ‘fuck u’ and either joined the riots or yeeted outta there. hooray!! 

the tsar was like ‘ok everything is under control’ (partly bc his official informant gave him the wrong info rip) and didn’t accede to any of the rioter’s demandsor do anything for a while. and here’s the thing. the tsar’s cabinet sent a telegram to nick saying ‘bro u gotta resign, we’re literally on the verge of revolution’ and nick read it, wrote ‘lol’ in his diary and refused to answer. 

the next day, there was another telegram saying ‘bro, u GOTTA resign. the revolution is happening now. if u don’t resign, the entire monarchy will be overthrown and ur reign will be o-v-e-r’ 

and nick wrote an entry in his diary saying ‘what nonsense is this? i can’t believe they’re sending me telegrams about this rubbish, as if i’m going to do anything’ (and im paraphrasing bc i don’t have my book w me but he definitely used the word “nonsense” and wrote a bunch of awful stuff about it) 

the next day, nick got another telegram that basically said ‘welp. country’s over. good while it lasted, revolution is happening now and it’s too late for you to do anything about it bc u didn’t listen to my numerous warnings to resign’ and nick was like ‘wait should i... do something about this??? hmm... yeah!! i’ll go up to petrograd and show ‘em who’s boss!! can’t defeat the absolute power of the tsar, huzzah!!’ 

and he went up to petrograd and got arrested. he had no choice but to abdicate, adn then he and the rest of his family were put under house arrest. there was a bit of an argument about whether they should be exiled to some western country, but all the western europeans were like ‘we don’t want nick u can keep him’ so they put him under house arrest in one of his palaces, where nick pretty much just chilled out with his family until they were all executed because everyone in russia was still very mad at them. 

(and in 1981 nick and his family were recognised as ‘martyred saints’, which is fine for the rest of them but nick absolutely did not deserve it)

thus concludes my very, very long rant. i spent way too long writing this, but my history teacher would be proud of me.

[lirusstories]

Stories: Please Read

Edit because I’m a fuckin moron that forgot the Soul-Mate Aus for Little Fortune. Sorry about that.

Alright so sorry about this, I swear I’m halfway through the first Chapter for both Run Boy Run and New Beginnings. But anyway here we are, these are the 14 stories I’m working on, and yes I am well aware that it’s not a good Idea but fuck it, I’m havin’ fun so Anyway. These are the title’s and they will have Descriptions of who is in it and what the Au is and also, yes all of them have soul-mate Au's (y'all couldn’t even rip this from my cold dead hands) many of them are different ones from each other. (Also each of them are embodiment's of something for each other which will be explain at the bottom) Also some of these are inspired by or have parts that are inspired by @oh-itskitkat and I’ll put Links to the ones that Inspired what and if they inspired the story are something that will happen in the story. Also please go check out her shit, it’s amazing. Everything will be under a read more because This post is long as fuck.

1. The Kings and Their Queen which you can find here @thekingsandtheirqueen

2. No Place Like Home 

I legit Cannot explain this you just gotta read it. But I can tell you that it’s a non-traditional A/B/O au and a Hero X Villain Au

Characters: Liru, Anti, JJ, Illinois, Yancy, Emile, Remy, Virgil, Jack, Jackie, Marvin, Henrik, Chase, Dark, Wilford, Jamie, Sammi, Oliva, Roman, Remus, Patton, Thomas, Logan, Janus, Robbie, Yan, Ethan, Tyler, Mark, Kira, and the rest will be added later on.

Soul-Mate Aus: 

1. Soul-Mark Au 

2. Every so often you will get flashes of what your soulmate is seeing at the time, but your soulmate doesn’t know when it happens.

Inspired by: https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/613250836029734912/so-youre-just-gonna-up-and-leave-without-a

3. Once Upon A Dream

This one can’t be explained without spoilers so your just gonna have to read it.

Characters: Liru, Henrik, Jackie, Marvin, Chase, Jack, Yan, Robbie, Anti

Soul-Mate Au: Soul-Marks

Inspiration for scenes:

1. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/617661429060911104/those-arent-birds-please-do-not-stealrepost

2. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/616741587195658240/ill-wait-here-then-please-do-not

3. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/614495447412834304/just-a-little-while-longer-please-do-not

4. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/613412510108909568/a-much-needed-break-please-do-not-stealrepost

5. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190358452918/purring-is-simply-soothing-or-self-soothing

6. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/617016760676335616/catching-up-please-do-not-stealrepost

7. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190596652918/tending-the-garden-please-do-not

4. Run Boy Run

This one can’t be explained without spoilers so your just gonna have to read it.

Characters: Liru, Anti, Jackie, JJ, Marvin, Chase, Jack, Henrik, Robbie, Yan, Remy, Virgil, Remus, Wilford, Roman, Remy, Emile, Jacques, Angus, Sam, Shawn, Patton, Logan, Magnum, Janus, Wilford, Dark, Mark, Thomas. (Maybe some more Iplier ego’s not sure yet but we’ll get there when we get there)

Soul-Mate Au’s: 

1. Soul-Mark appearing through Touch

2. Remembering Past Life through touch.

5. New Beginnings

Multiverse type thing. JJ, Dark and Wilford are from the same universe, Jack and Marvin are from the same one, Logan, Patton, Janus and Virgil are from the same one, Roman and Remus are the same one. Something bad happens in each of their universes resulting in them winding up in the main.

Universe’s

Main: Liru, Anti, Yancy, Jack, Chase, Thomas, Mark, Henrik, Emile, Remy, Robbie

1920 ish(don’t hate me because I doubt anything will be accurate): JJ, Dark, Wilford

Hero Vs. “Villain”: Jackie and Marvin

Medieval Fantasy: Roman and Remus

Pathos, Ethos, Logos and their dark strange son: Patton, Janus, Logan, Virgil

Characters: Liru, Anti, Jackie, Henrik, Chase, Jack, Marvin, JJ, Yancy, Emile, Remy, Yan, Robbie, Roman, Remus, Janus, Patton, Logan, Virgil

Soul-Mate Au’s:

1. Telepathic Soul-Mates

2. Soul-Mark appearing through Touch

Inspirations:

Story: https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/612154125154664448/how-did-i-get-here-please-do-not-stealrepost

Universe’s

Hero vs “Villain”

A. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190615542808/head-in-the-clouds-please-do-not-stealrepost

B. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/183388705923/its-magic-bro-please-do-not-stealrepost

Medieval Fantasy :

 https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/614616863892209664/speak-softly-for-words-carry-please-do-not

Pathos, Ethos, Logos and their dark strange son: 

  https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190331869898/in-the-athenaeum-please-do-not-stealrepost

6. Family Against All

Scp au type thing (I’m using what information my brain can retain but I know alot of it is inaccurate, please don’t hate me).

Liru is a lot shyer and quieter in this one. She is avoiding the SCP Foundation heavily because they are looking for her after an incident where she lost temporary control of her abilities which had caused a temporary rift in the fabric of reality. Mark and Jack are still YouTubers in this and Chase is too.

Liru will find the more innocent or even objects of SCP's and take them home. She also has some that the SCP foundation hasn't discovered.

Henrik doesn't tell his brothers where he works. He tells them he's a doctor though and leaves it at that.

His first chapter will him discovering Anti and just straight up Freezing in his tracks because that's his little brother. And he doesn't know why he knows or knows how he knows he just does. and repeat for Jameson, and Marvin and Jackie(but they're older siblings except JJ of course) And when he discovers Robbie he nearly loses his shit but manages to keep it together because Holy Shit Thats A Child.

He's never met them before. And now he has to figure out why he knows them before anyone else can figure out that they aren't doppelgangers or something and has to figure out why there is a 6 year old child that never talks but when he does he's screaming for his mom.

Characters:  Liru, Anti, Jackie, Henrik, Chase, Jack, Marvin, JJ, Robbie, Yan, Dark, The Googles, Bing, The Host, Bim, Wilford, Mark(Maybe the kids)

Soul-Mate Au: Telepathic Connection through knowing soul-mates Preferred Full Name, has to go both ways before connecting.

7. A Burning Soul

It's a Hero x Villains Au, Jackie is the "Hero"(unknowingly works for the bad guy) and Liru, Celine and Yancy are the "Villains" who are in a polyamorous relationship and are trying to get Jackie to switch to there side so he can be protected. A bit more insight is that Jackie was threatened with the safety of someone close to him to be a "Hero" and the other "Hero's" He works with are there to keep him on a leash. While Celine, Liru and Yancy(mostly Liru because she's the one he interacts with the most) Try their best to convince him to join them so they can help him. 

Characters: Liru, Celine, Jackie, Yancy, Robbie, Yan, Virgil, Remy, Emile

Soul-Mate Au: Where you have a splotch of color of your soul-mates soul where your soul-mate touches you skin to skin for the first time. It burns when touched for the first time so there's no missing it. It will only stop burning when you accept your Soul-Mate.

8. A Chase Down the Rabbit Hole

This started because of the one-shot I made for Chases birthday and now it’s gonna be a story. I can’t really tell much without spoiling a lot of it so here are the characters in it and the soul-mate au.

Characters: Liru, Chase, Henrik, Jackie, Jack, Anti, JJ, Marvin, Angus, Jacques, Shawn, Sam, Jaym, Katie, Gabriel, Roman, Remus, Kiara, Uma (Possibly the other sides but eh we’ll see)

Soul-Mate Au: Gains Mark Through First Touch

9. Death and Her Soulmates

Alright so the first one is Gonna be Called Death and then whatever soulmate is in it. It's all connected to one story though but they come in one-shots. For instance Liru and Remus would be "Death and Green Sword" or if it's Liru and Roman It's "Death and the Red Shield". Anti and her would be "Death and the Angel" or her and JJ would be "Death and the Master of Time". Robbie and her would be "Death and the Lavender Boy" (every time I see the words Lavender boy my mind sings it to the tune of "Calendar girl") Thomas and her would be "Death and the Rainbow Heart" and the ones that don’t Involve her Would be “The Lightning bug and The Angel”(Jack and Anti) The entire character List is in the story.

Soul-Mate Au’s:

1. Markings gained through touch.

2. The ability to send gifts to your soul-mate/s once a year (You choose something and it appears to them but nothing “living”)

10. Sacred Motives

Inspired by  https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/616607308121849856/you-got-your-ass-handed-to-you-by-a-man-in-a

Alright so for what led up to “You got your ass handed to you by” “a man in a cat mask, yes!”. Marvin was getting an Artifact back that belongs to JJ that humans have taken. It's not the only artifact as well. Humans had raided a sacred place, where a bunch of important artifacts were and they stole, which now they are trying to get back. And they’re gonna get more than they expected.

Characters that are in it: 

The "What do you have?" “Humans: Your artifacts!” “NO!” is:

Liru, Marvin, Chase, Anti, JJ ,Robbie, Sammi, Jamie, Yan, Yancy, Emile, Remy, Virgil

The "don't know that the sacred artifacts belong to the other side" is: 

Jackie, Henrik, Jack, Oliva, Wilford, Dark (unwillingly dealing with the other bullshit because Wilford and Jack are somehow friends)

and the “why did you encourage her to get entangled in mortal affairs, Remus”: 

Roman, Remus, Labadon, Logan, Patton, Thomas

Soul-Mate Aus: 

1. You can see numbers over your soul-mate’s/soulmates’ heads indicating how dangerous they are 1-100 anything higher than 100 is “Most-likely” Inhuman. The number is in their favorite color and their hand writing.

2. The first thing you soul-mate says to you becomes written on your body.

Inspiration for scene:

https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/181356373658/h-he-got-me-good-huh-doc-mein-gott

11. Little Fortune

So the best way I can explain it is that It started with Anti meeting Liru at a Park and because he had nothing better to do he just kinda sat and talked with her and after that they just kept meeting up Until Anti actually takes her on a Date one night. She gets into a fight with her Acquaintance on the phone(she's visiting Brighton for work) So Anti invites her over so she doesn't have to go back to the hotel room(I should mention that they are ego's in this) So the go back to the Septic house and she stays the night(nothing dirty happens don’t worry) And the others wake up before Anti and Liru and notice that there are heels by the front door so of course they rush up to Anti's room only to see them both Dead asleep on his bed just cuddling(Anti's the little spoon). They freeze at the sight and due to both the door slamming open and the light bleeding in they both wake up. After an explanation and a near attempted murder on Anti's part they let her stay for the time being and despite the fact that they were supposed to erase the memories of anyone who finds out about them they don't because they see the way she reins in Anti before he can even start. And over the months she keeps visiting and they all begin to notice something is a bit strange about her. And on top of that they have to juggle trying not to let Jack find out about her and trying to ignore the feelings that they gain for her(can't wait to write those parts:) ). And the thing is Liru doesn't even notice something is off about her but Anti does and just assumes she knows and thinks that she'll tell him when she's ready. And more often than not she is seen at their house even when she goes back to Oregon, Anti just keeps bringing her over via teleportation.

Characters: Liru, Anti, Jackie, Henrik, Chase, Jack, Marvin, JJ, and some will be added later on.

Soul-Mate Au’s:

1. Songs sung by your Soulmate are stuck in your head.

2. Music that’s stuck in your Soulmate’s/Soumates’ head/s is stuck in yours as well.

3. You have accessories/an accessory that represent your Soulmates/Soulmate

Inspirations for scenes:

1. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190358452918/purring-is-simply-soothing-or-self-soothing

2. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/616293064973189120/not-all-angels-have-wings-please-do-not

3. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190866033653/never-too-old-please-do-not-stealrepost

4. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/615127312520871936/on-the-11th-of-april-a-drop-of-sunshine-fell-to

12. Songs of the Lost Souls

It's kinda a Hero and Villain x "Civilian" type things and it's Jackie and Anti but the others are also into her(Liru) The Characters in this are Jackie, Angus( the survival Hunter) Marvin, Jacques(the french "ego" from passepartout), Henrik, Chase, Jack, Anti, Shawn Flynn, JJ and S34N(he's an android "underdevelopment"(he was considered to be to human) who Anti accidentally saved). 

This takes place in some random metropolis that Liru Moved to to get away from a rather bad past. She's friends with Jacques, Shawn and Sam(S34N) and they Helped her get a rather expensive apartment that she doesn’t need to pay because Jacques already has(“To help a fellow painter out.” “Jacques I Will throw you off this balcony. WHY?!”) Jacques, Shawn and Sam are all types of Artists, Jacques is a rather Famous Painter, Shawn is a hand drawn animation artist. Sam is a sculptor. 

Liru’s Older brothers are Roman and Remus and they live in Florida with Roman’s husbands and their three adopted children but they came from Oregon. The reason why Jacques paid for her apartment is because he wanted to help her out of her bad situation despite the fact he knew virtually nothing about it. So the story starts a few days after she moves into the apartment. Also I should mention that Marvin helps out Jackie in his fights against Anti when Anti is particularly aggressive.

Characters: Liru, Jackie, Angus, Marvin, Jacques, Henrik, Chase, Jack, Anti, Shawn, JJ and S34N(Sam), Roman, Remus, Patton, Janus, Thomas, Emile, Remy, Virgil, Sammi, Jamie

Soul-Mate Au’s: 

1. When you and your soul-mate touch for the first time, what your song together is will be written on your body with your’s and your soul-mates handwriting and favorite color. And it doesn’t matter how small it is or if it’s in a different language you can always understand it. 

2. When your soul-mate is singing you can’t get the song they’re singing out of your head. 

3. When the two soul-mates finally sing their song together that their souls essentially connect to each-other finally and it allows them to gain certain abilities they have. Like in a human sense if one could speak Spanish and the other couldn't and when they sing their song together for the first time the person who couldn't speak Spanish now can but not as well as the original. And say the one that couldn’t speak Spanish was really flexible but the Spanish speaker wasn't so when they sing together for the first time the Spanish speaking one becomes somewhat flexible.

Inspirations for Scenes:

1. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/611367312035119104/under-my-umbrella-please-do-not-stealrepost

2. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/610901204242972672/somewhere-in-time-inspired-by

3. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/616210494266671104/10-million-fireflies-please-do-not-stealrepost

13. Soul Pack 

(Harry Potter au sorta it doesn’t take place in his time) I do not have a description for this so when It comes out I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Characters: Everyone, every single one of them will wind up in it.

Soul-Mate Au’s:

1. Telepathic Connection since birth but gets stronger the more you know your Soul-Mate.

2. Whatever you write on your skin appears on your Soulmate’s/Soulmates’.

14. For The Divine

It's Kinda different from the others. This one is where Liru, Roman and Remus start out as humans and the others are Gods or Divine beings whatever you wanna call them. And the others are looking for the last pieces of themselves(aka soulmates). And eventually they one by one begin to stumble upon Either, Roman, Remus or Liru.

With Roman, Remus and Liru. Roman and Remus are Liru's Legal Guardians (although she is 21 in this, they're 34 though they don't look it, just like Thomas doesn't look like he's thirty in real life.) Roman, Remus and Liru inherited everything that they're family owned after they all mysteriously died off,(Remus killed them but Roman doesn't know but he suspects but he never said anything because that is A. his brother and B. He thought they deserved it as well(they did) Liru knows because she remembers him telling her that they ever laid a hand on her he's kill them all(He did) and she never said anything because she knew that they deserved it as well. and this was when Roman and Remus were 19. 

They both quickly adopted Liru before they could put her in the system and when Liru was in school one day and a teacher made a horrible remark about her brothers taking her in, she mentioned it "Offhandedly" to Roman where Remus would hear. And the next day when Roman and Remus(for the sake of appearances) went to go talk to the teacher about it, the teacher had already been murdered the night before by some of Remus' "Friends". Roman is both a Fashion Designer and Model, Remus is a Painter, Liru is a Fashion Designer(Both Roman and Remus model for her when she needs help figuring out what to do with it) and Painter, she also makes jewelry and Masks to go with her and Romans designs. They all base their outfits/paintings/statues around the animals that represent there Soulmates.

Characters: All of them Minus Jaym and Katie.

Soul-Mate Au’s:

1. You have an animal(or in their cases, animals) that represent your soulmate/s

2. Gained Telepathic Link through getting to know your Soulmate. The more you know and trust them, the stronger the Link and the more control you have over it.

Inspiration for Scenes

1. https://oh-itskitkat.tumblr.com/post/190596652918/tending-the-garden-please-do-not

Alright now for the embodiment thing.

So I was Originally Only gonna do it for the Sanders but It just bleed over into the others. But anyway so it's essentially that they are an embodiment of certain things for there soul-mates For example, Logan Is Logic (so when any of them actually stop and think instead of diving right in Logan can tell) or Anti is Curiosity (for instance if on of the were to notice something they are unfamiliar with and they can't help but investigate Anti can tell) Or Robbie is Child-Like Wonder like the feeling you get when your a kid and you see presents under the tree on Christmas morning or Like that one Here Be Dragons from that SCP Unity episode Mark did. Robbie can feel when they feel that but at the same time it doesn't necessarily mean that they have to be a feeling or something you use. For instance Damien is the Embodiment of the Day and he can get a sense of where is soulmates are and whether or not they are in danger.

Tags:

@kittican

@antis-gauge

@flowers-zombie-rob

@trixie8264

@animallover4000

@i-maybe-exist

@nightanjel

@thegamerbook

@smolbean-pma

@the-chemist

@therealtiger77

@immabethehero

[gloomy-goober]

Dear Remus,

Logan thinks that I should write to you.

Says it might help me ‘cope’. Whatever that means.

I don’t want to cope.

I don’t want to feel.

They say you are gone. That you are dead somewhere better.

I know they want me to believe it. I know how they watch me as I move out of our room and into the kitchen every so often.

They have given up, but I haven’t. As soon as I can I am running back into the imagination and starting up my search.

The dragon witch is working on a tracking spell. It is taking her longer because I need it to be long ranged. Using our pendants, well mine. I hope you will have yours or this plan is going to be a flop.

Just like most of them are.

I don’t know why I am writing all this down. Or how this will help.

I know that I am not actually sending these to you. If I was then I would be writing about how I am going to punch your face in for having me worried for so long. Or I would be going to where you are instead of sitting on your bed writing in this dumb journal.

Still it is nice to write the words down: I miss you.

Our room is too quiet with only me in here staying up till the ass crack of dawn. There is no one there to lecture me, no one there to wrestle me back to bed, no one there to ask me annoying questions at three am.

Although the lack of dirty laundry stink is an improvement. An improvement I did not think I would hate.

I know you are not reading this, but please come home soon.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Remus,

It had been six months since you disappeared.

I think everyone else has given up hope of your return. I know that the others did not like you too much, but I thought they were just as hurt as I was when you were in pain. Maybe I was wrong.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.

It has been three months since they blocked me from entering the imagination again. I thought by now they would have admitted that I was rested enough to return to the search.

I tried to go back in through the main door. Patton caught me and asked where I was going.

When I told him my intentions, he told me that is was not a good time. Led me away to help him in the kitchen.

I am not proud to say I ruined dinner out of spite. I was not hungry anyway.

You would have found it hilarious. The fire on the stove was not extreme but it reminded me a lot of that SpongeBob episode. Where he has to forget about everything that was not about fine dining and breathing.

You would have laughed.

We’d probably be up all night laughing about it.

I miss those kinds of nights. We haven’t had them in a long time.

When you get back, we are going to have a movie marathon. All your favorites.

I am getting a little too sentimental. Glad you are never going to read these.

Hope Logan isn’t reading these. They were his idea.

I need to hide my journal better.

*************************************************************************************

Dear Remus,

It has been five months since you’ve been gone.

I guess I should do something worthwhile with these letters or entries or whatever this is. If I do allow you to read them then they might as well tell you what has been going on during your absence.

First, Deceit has been sleeping over sometimes. By sometimes I mean a lot. Hardly ever leaves.

I gave him my bed since I have been spending most of my nights in yours. I washed the sheets first though. You really need to stop eating in bed, I think I found a full cookie under your pillow. That is gross, bro. Gross and terrible that you never offered to share.

Anyway, I don’t mind Deceit spending the night. It is comforting to have another person in the room again. Makes our room feel less empty.

He doesn’t snore like you. He doesn’t wake me up or tell me to go to bed when it gets super late either. Actually it is really hard to get him to wake up. I learned to not listen to his promises of five more minutes after the third day.

Can’t trust a snake no matter how much their pleas for more sleeping time resonate with you. How badly you want to crawl under the covers and sleep the day away, you must resist.

Going along with Deceit sleeping over, it now seems Mr. Lyde is just a part of this family. Patton is less tense around him, though it is still taking some time. Virgil is not openly trying to fight him.

It is weird. I wish you could see this. Maybe you could figure out why the shift because I am at a loss.

Speaking of Virgil, he is my second point.

Virgil has been spending the evenings in our room. Just sits on your bed or my bed. Deceit, him, and I usually just do our own things quietly. Sometimes we watch a movie together.

I like the change, but I am also confused by it

Maybe they just don’t trust me to not run off to look for you once more.

They only delay the inevitable. I do not see what could go so poorly with speeding up your return.

Well, that is all I can think of. Going to draw a dick on Deceit’s head while he sleeps in honor of you.

**************************************************************************************

Dear Remus,

Eight months since you disappeared.

Patton has suggested that I make my own room. It was not an unkind or ill meaning, but I still got defensive. I should not have yelled at him.

Or ran off instead of apologizing.

I’ll summon a puppy tonight. Make sure he knows I did not mean to explode like that.

I can’t say that having my own room would not be interesting. We did try that once in our teen years but that did not last long. Remember? You kept sneaking into my room at night. Really scared me.

Still have no idea how you crawled across the ceiling like that.

Thinking about it right now, though, I don’t think I want to know the answer.

More on the bedroom thing, I can’t leave. If I leave this bedroom, then Deceit will lose his roommate.

Oh! Should probably tell you that we have a new roommate. Don’t think you would mind. You always liked Dee. Saw how much of a dork he was behind all the hissing.

You were right, he is funny.

When you get back, I’ll make us our bunk beds again so Dee can keep my bed.

It’ll be fun. Like a sleep over every day.

We can even invite Virgil!

Or we just all live in one room together. Forever a sleepover!

Okay maybe that would not be a fun idea. Or was a very good idea.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately, so my ideas are a little bland. Sorry.

I am going to go apologize to Patton now.

Write to you soon.

************************************************************************************

Remus,

Where are you?

You have been gone almost ten months! A year is about to pass, and you are nowhere.

I expected you to be back by now.

Why do you keep doing this to me, Remus? Why can’t you stay put?

I don’t want you to be gone anymore.

****************************************************************************

Remus,

I went back into the imagination today.

It has been a year since you have been gone. Since I have stepped into that place. I was not supposed to be gone so long, but even after the others stopped trying to make me stay at home, I could not bring myself to go back in there.

The dragon witch was not very happy with me. She had the spell ready for so long and I showed up so late.

I have the pendant back now.

I stood on the cliff face where your old sailor man said he had seen you last. I looked out at the sea.

I wanted to throw it. Throw it out and let the waves take it away. Let this necklace be destroyed in my anger but I didn’t.

I didn’t recite the spell either. Please don’t be mad at me for that but I can’t.

I just can’t.

I know you are alive. I feel that you are alive, but what if…

What if you aren’t?

What if I say this spell and it points to nowhere? What if it is too late to even try it?

I don’t want to think that everyone else’s hopelessness has rubbed off on me but God dammit, Remus, it has been a year.

You should have been back by now.

Why aren’t you back? The only reason you wouldn’t be back is if they are all right.

***************************************************************************************

Remus,

I am in a new room now.

Deceit has his own room next to Virgil now.

Our room is boarded off. I just couldn’t stay in there any longer.

Virgil let me borrow his white noise machine. It fills the silence. Going to have to get myself one.

**********************************************************************************

Remus,

Wherever you are, if you are anywhere, I hope you are happy.

Things have gotten better for me. Not to say things are good that you are gone but that I am coping. Just like Logan was hoping would happen by writing these.

I still expect you to just pop up one day. Though the need to look for you around every corner has started to wane.

Thomas is back to work. His fans understood the need to have a vacation thankfully, but I feel guilty for making them wait so long. I have been focused one some amazing works for them, putting all my effort into them.

I do hope they like these new videos.

That is all I hope for, really.

Wish I could get your input on them. Most of your ideas don’t really go with the theme but you at least get me out of Disney safe territory.

I don’t know if I am going to continue writing to you. I don’t know if it really matters now. You won’t ever read these and even if you somehow did come back, I would never let you read them.

There is too much honest emotion. It’s gross.

I’d rather give you a letter that says ‘f--- you’ for leaving. Something that wouldn’t be all weird.

But, at the same time, if I stop writing in this letter/journal thing I feel like I am closing the door to you. That once I let these letters go and move on it will all become more real then it feels.

That you really will be gone.

I don’t want you to be gone. I don’t want to be the only creativity.

We both tried to pretend like we were the only true form of Thomas’ creative endeavors but we both knew it was not true. We were once one.

How am I supposed to do this job without literally the other half of my job?

If you are gone does that mean I won that stupid best creativity contest we were holding? Cause this is the worst way to win it.

But if this is the way it happens, then so be it. I will do my best to be the creativity that Thomas needs.

For you. For Thomas. And for myself.

Goodbye.

Your brother, Roman.

[sometimesimawriter]

Mirror Effect

part 2

A/N: just to clarify, everyone in this story is 20ish because we do not stan Five being an actual child under the ripe age of 12! Thanks everyone! Have a nice day!

*the next morning; it was a long night for everyone, Christina had patched up Five, and insisted she spend the night on the cot next to him. Kayla and Emma gave Klaus and Diego a tour around the house. It was a rather large Victorian estate, hidden on the outskirts of Hackensack. It seemed like the girls lived here on their own; it was previously owned by one of Christina's distant aunts or cousins or possibly great grandmother- her family was bigger than what anyone could remember. The three lived here for majority of the year, they had finished college a few years ago, and all found jobs in the city. Kayla was a chemical engineer, Emma was a fierce business woman, and Christina spent her nights at clubs and bars, playing gigs, meeting new people, and singing her heart out every Friday and Saturday night.*

The smell of eggs and bacon wafts through the air. There is quiet laughter, Emma and Kayla move around the kitchen. It's a pretty big space, but they keep bumping into each other.

"Bro MOVE" Emma sighs, exasperated in a joking way.

"You keep existing in the wrong space at the wrong time, that's not my fault"

At this time, they hear shuffling coming towards the kitchen. Klaus looks like he had a fight with the mattress and loss. His shirt is unbuttoned completely and he rubs his eyes. Emma glances over at Kayla, who stares at him for a second too long. Then she smiles as he meets her eyes and holds out an empty mug.

"Coffee?"

He gives a lopsided smile. "Only if you put actual coffee in there."

Emma barks out a laugh at this and Kayla poises her arm, acting as if she's going to throw the mug. She then pours a cup and hands it to Klaus, then glances at Emma.

"So Klaus, is your brother awake? or should Emma go wake him instead?"

Emma blushes and flips her off.

Just then, two more pairs of shuffling feet come down the hallway, speaking in hushed voices.

Christina and Five enter the kitchen, Christina's hair is resembling that of a mad scientist, and Five even looks slightly flustered. They both come to a complete stop and look at everyone in the kitchen.

Christina gulps "Oh, um, everyone's awake!"

Her cheeriness is out of character, and Kayla's eyes widen and then she blurts out

"You two FUCKED" Kayla screams

"Oh my god WHAT" Emma throws herself at Christina. "Did you really?"

"Did you use protection? am i going to be an aunt? I can't handle godchildren right now. The responsibility of spoiling your children? I can't do that right now!" Kayla gets in Christina's face.

"She's right. But first of all, did you go doggie style? Cow girl? REVERSE cow girl? No no wait, you had to have put on a strap on. Do you like getting slapped in the face?"

The girls torrent her with questions.

Klaus slithers over to Five and wraps an arm around his shoulder. "so how'd you like it? First time is always the best, at least that's what i heard. I don't remember my first, because well you know-" he makes a smoking gesture at this and raises his eye brows.

"We did NOT FUCK" Christina screams at the girls.

Both fall silent, then Emma breaks the moment.

"You whore you SUCKED HIS DICK!"

At this Christina wails "N O!"

"The stereotypes are true, Jersey girls are loud as hell." Diego says as he shuffles into the room. he is disheveled like Klaus, but looks more peaceful, like the type of disheveled that a surfer boy possesses. Emma retracts from Christina and looks at him. Both Kayla and Christina notice her change in character. Emma has never been one to shy away from men, she loves being straight forward with what she wants. But now, she seems more subdued, maybe cautious or curious. She puts on this sweet smile and asks "want coffee?"

Kayla makes a choking sound, "original..."

Emma turns and stares at her as if she wished her to die in a ditch on the side of a road.

"Sure Ill take some coffee" Diego gives her a smile, one that says he wants to meet up with her sometime during the night.

The group settles down around the kitchen table, which is a metal table on wooden legs. It has some dents, hopefully from kitchen use and nothing that a group of promiscuous girls could have possibly gotten up to after nights of partying and bringing men home. At least, no one was going to address that situation.

The morning was filled with clinking forks and knives, small talk about New York and the Academy, and lots of longing looks. Christina constantly glanced up at Five and quickly looked away, but ironically she missed each time he stole a look at her. Emma stared at Diego, and he looked at her, basically having mental sex across the table. Kayla on the other hand laughed the most at Klaus's stories, times at raves or strange highs he had had. He seemed at ease with her, but also kept reassuring her that he was sober, almost like his sobriety proved he had some type of worth.

Diego was the first to stop engaging in some weird romance that each couple had for each other. "We need to talk about the elephant in the room."

Klaus glanced at Kayla and then smirked, "yeah, i was wondering too. Are they condoms for eye sex? Because i think I may be pregnant from all the eye contact you two are having."

Diego gave him a dull look "anyway... we still need to find this Razor-Max dude. Does he have powers too?"

Five made a face, "His nails grew into witch's talons and he can jump 45 feet in the air. Either he's a super or someone is dedicated to drinking his milk."

Christina snickered at this, and then blushed when everyone turned to her.

Five leaned toward the table and put his elbows up, squaring off with Kayla, "What i want to know is what is your history with him? Why does he want you dead?"

Kayla looked down and Klaus looked genuinely concerned. She took a deep breath and explained "we dated for a year, he was really good to me. I thought I loved him, like i was gonna marry him some day. That changed when i walked into a bar and saw him pinning some blonde against a pool table and practically eating her face with his lips. I got pissed, started a scene, broke things off with him. He's always had anger issues, but i never thought it would get this bad. He started sending flowers and chocolates to my house. Called me every hour of every day. Then his texts and messages got angrier and angrier. One day i looked at the porch and saw there was a fruit basket that had been ripped open by a raccoon. Except the raccoon was foaming at the mouth and seizing up a few feet away from the basket."

Diego looked up, "he tried poisoning you?"

"Seems like it. Got a restraining order, and then murders started happening. He started with girls that looked like me, trying to send a message. Then he got sloppy, killing whoever."

"I thought the NYPD didn't know who was murdering people?" Said Five.

Emma looked down at the table, "Oh no, they know. It would be a suicide mission for their officers to go after him. So they make us do it."

Klaus entered into the conversation, "And now you need backup."

Kayla looked across the table to him, "Yeah that would be nice. You don't need to put yourself in danger though-"

Klaus stood up at this, puffing out his chest sarcastically "There is nothing dangerous enough for me!" He pumped one fist in the air, then lowered his hand, bowing at the waist and took Kayla's hand from the table and softly kissed her knuckles. "I have known you for less than 24 hours and I am already willing to lay down my life for you."

Kayla let out a laugh and Klaus smiled as he sank back down into his seat.

"So how would you take down a literal man-animal hybrid? My knives barely did anything, its like his skin is its own armor." Diego glanced back at Emma.

Emma then perked up at this. "well actually, Kayla has been working on a type of- what did you call it?- narcotic?"

"DRUGS?" Klaus made a voice similar to that vine of the owl trying to sell drugs.

Kayla laughed again, "yeah i guess, just a little nighty-night syrup so we could have a chance against him. Dude's a damn monster though, so I don't exactly know what would work on him."

Klaus lightly touched her hand, "I'm sure you'll find something. I have a past with...chemical engineering... kind of. I can help!" She smiled again at him and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Christina spoke up "Five, i need to recheck your bandages. Emma, maybe you and Diego can go back to the brownstones and see if he left any tracks and find where he's been hiding out. Kayla you can go back to your lab, maybe show Klaus around." Christina winked at her, and then both her and Five left the kitchen, back to the small infirmary where they both had spent the night.

[shirtlesssammy]

8x21: The Great Escapist

Well, we made it, guys. This is the last Ben Edlund recap! Thanks for reading along!

Then:

Cas is on the run, Sam is in bad shape after the second demon trial, and Kevin is really broken. Good times all around!

Now:

Sam and Dean interrupt Kevin’s slow slide into death with the second part of the demon tablet! They ask if they should reunite it with the other half, but Kevin has all that he needs and sets to working on the translation immediately.

Sam and Dean take off, and once free of the houseboat, transform into demon minion #1 and #2. Ah, Crowley is playing director to get the ins on what the real Sam and Dean are up to --the three trials to close the gates of Hell.

Meanwhile, at the bunker, the real Sam looks like he could commiserate with Kevin a little. Yeesh. Dean is in full Mother Hen mode, making Sam special soup (The John Winchester Cure-all Kitchen Sink Stew, so it’s loaded with guilt, grief--and Dean probably made it up himself since he was Sam’s primary caretaker growing up anyway.)

The boys argue about what the trials are doing to Sam before they get an email from Kevin. It’s a video message. Kevin made an auto-send video in the event of his death --yeah, something’s not right. He included all his notes in the email as a parting gift.

Cas is on the lam, drinking coffee and doling out fun facts to Biggerson’s waitresses.

His coffee cup rattles and Cas notes, “They're getting closer.” And in a blink, he’s gone. (Ah, he still has his wings. Sigh, for never having seen them, I miss his wings.)

Angels are tracking Cas, but can’t quite catch him. One reports back to Naomi with their ill luck. It seems that Cas is staying one step ahead of the angels by zapping in and out of various Biggerson’s all over the country. They’re all the same, and they’re legion.

Back at the bunker, Sam notices a symbol that keeps popping up in Kevin’s notes. He remembers it from ONE class in college a bazillion years ago. (I know, I know, photographic memory, but man, I wouldn’t want that curse for anything.) Well, the petroglyph that Sam found translates to “messenger of God”, so Sam surmises they should find this messenger -Metatron. They can start in Colorado where the tribe this symbol originated is from.

The angels eventually catch up to Cas. Back at the first Biggerson’s, he finds blood on his table, and the waitress on the floor, eyes burned out, muttering “You have to stop.” Effectively creepy, show. An angel blade appears at Cas’s throat.

Sam and Dean make it to Colorado and check in at the motel. Sam’s not doing too well, guys.

At the Biggerson’s, Naomi appears, killing the waitress, and dropping some plot-fixing bombs on Castiel. I do love this for making it clear that Cas has been on Earth before the Winchesters, but because he came off the line with a crack in his chassis, and his mind was wiped so many times, he doesn’t remember. Naomi wants the angel tablet. Cas isn’t giving it up, so she order the angels to keep searching.

Kevin continues to work for Fake Sam and Dean. He ask for food a one point so they head out to get his grocery needs. (Ah, remember when Kevin was a vegan? I know he lives off of hot dogs in another episode as well, but it’s just so heartbreaking to see how far down the very bad path of prophethood he’s gone. I guess Chuck doesn’t count? But this show has been pretty consistent with how awful is it to be a prophet.)

Back at the hotel, delusional Sam recounts a story of the boys visiting the Grand Canyon that never happened (because it was established in a prior episode that they’d never been to the Grand Canyon.) Dean goes along but clearly the Kill Bill siren in his head is on full blast. He tells Sam to get some rest and heads to the hotel’s museum.

While at the museum, he learns about the sacred messenger, and how he wanted people to tell him stories. He also notices the front desk attendant in an old-timey picture. Hmmm.

Sam, meanwhile, has hit peak fever crisis, eventually calling Dean before passing out on the floor.

At Biggerson’s, Crowley and his ingenious angel-killing bullets arrive.

Sam wakes up in an ice bath. (Me: Pulls this blanket tighter around my shoulders.) He learns that Dean had to dunk him in ice because his fever had spiked up to 107. (Dude. Dean. Why did you submerge your brother completely? He’s not a fish.) Sam tells Dean that Metatron is in the hotel - he’s sure of it. He wildly tells Dean that he found a bunch of boxes of books in a hallway and that’s surely got to be the place where they’ll find Metatron.

Crowley, meanwhile, is extremely pleased with himself over his angel-killing bullets - made from a melted down angel blade. “I’m the daringest devil you’ve ever met,” he tells Naomi. Accurate. She gets her glow on but Crowley aims his pistol at her. Naomi flaps away and Crowley smirks at Castiel. He tells him that Ion the angel is on his payroll and then he shoots Cas in the stomach. NOT cool, bro.

Crowley zaps Cas to his office where they can speak uninterrupted. Cas insists that he’ll never reveal where he hid the tablet. But Crowley looks at him with a smile. “I was thinking to myself, ‘Self, if Cas got away from her by touching the tablet, why would he ever stop touching the tablet?’ And then I thought to myself, ‘Self... he hasn't stopped touching the tablet, now has he?’” Cas grimaces at him and then screams as Crowley plunges his hand through Castiel’s gut and fishes the angel tablet out of his body. (nooooo Cas bby) Crowley flaps away, tablet in hand, leaving Ion to guard Cas.

Back with Sam and Dean, Delirious!Sam rattles on down memory lane. He remembers that Dean used to read to him from a comic (me: weeps) and the story was about King Arthur and Sir Galahad. “I remember thinking,” Sam says, “that I could never go on a quest like that...because I’m not clean.” (me: weeping intensifies) He tells Dean that the trials are purifying him and cleaning the demon blood from his body. (me: gives up watching and just wails and combs through meta about Sam’s quest for purification)

Dean follows Sam through the hotel to the room where all the books were stacked. The door to the room is slightly ajar and they head inside. Towers of books fill the room.

A gun snicks and they stumble across...Metatron! He’s an older dude, short and squirrely, and he’s got a shotgun trained on them. They exchange words and learn that Metatron is still afraid of Michael and Lucifer. He...doesn’t get out much.

Back with our angel, Cas asks Ion why he’s betrayed Heaven. “We aren’t machines for them to program and reprogram. This wasn’t what it was meant to be,” Cas insists - ever the idealist. Ion, however, is of the opinion that they’re all just meaningless cogs in the cosmic machine. While Cas listens to Ion, he digs his fingers into his gut and drags out Crowley’s angel bullet. YIKES

On the prophet sound stage, Crowley breaks down the door and confronts Kevin. Kevin is chill, relaxed in front of his barbecue dinner. He tells Crowley that he grew suspicious the moment the fake Winchesters forgot the secret knock, but the kicker was when they got him a special dinner. “So…” puzzles out Crowley, “my demons were too polite?” Lol, yes, awesome.

Sam and Dean fill in Metatron on the fate of all the archangels when Sam asks if Metatron can turn down the horrible ringing. “Oh, you’re resonating,” Metatron says. He realizes that Sam is doing one of the trials. He’s resonating in the proximity of the word of God - or Metatron. Metatron reveals that God hired him to write a bunch of stuff down before he flapped off to nobody-knows-where. He loosens up, shotgun waving around, and begins to chat more freely.

Metatron tells them that when Heaven started to get shitty, he hid himself away and buried himself in stories. That is a legit life choice, I don’t care what anyone else says.

With Cas, Ion complains about getting “reset” by Heaven. It hurt him each time. Cas uses his distraction to attack, shoving that single bullet into Ion’s eye and killing him.

DAMN CAS.

Metatron, meanwhile, continues talking about the power and beauty of stories. Stories are the wonder of creation. “What you brought to his Earth, all the mayhem, the murder. Just the raw, wild invention of God's naked apes... it was mind-blowing. But really... really, it was your storytelling. That is the true flower of free will. At least as you've mastered it so far. When you create stories, you become gods, of tiny, intricate dimensions unto themselves. So many worlds! I have read... as much as it's possible for an angel to read, and I haven't caught up.” Yes GOOD.

Sam and Dean are tired of his little tirade, though, and tell him to stfu. Dean tells Metatron that the prophet Kevin has had a shitty time of it, no thanks to him. How’s that for a story?

Cut to Kevin who’s still taunting Crowley about the tablet and his failed ruse. Crowley loses patience and starts to choke Kevin when the room fills with a ringing sound and red light. Kevin gets zapped away and Crowley is left severely burned. Back at the hotel, Metatron looks down on Kevin - safe and sound - and then heals him. Yaaay!

Dean asks Metatron if he’ll join the fight to seal Hell. Well, Metatron says unhelpfully, it’s a choice isn’t it? They’re saved from further introspection by Kevin waking up. He pulls out the second half of the demon tablet and tells them he knows the last trial. It’s to cure a demon.

Driving back to the bunker, Dean shout-worries at Sam about the last trial. Suddenly, Dean sees a figure lying in the middle of the road and stops the car. It’s Cas! Cas looks up, teeth gritted, and asks grumpily, “A little help here?”

Ah, that’s our angel.

Quotes are the Wonder of Creation:

Keep your nose to the godstone.

Watch the patois in there. Your slang. Special K, nose to the God-stone, that's the way Dean speaks. Sam is... more basic, more sincere. Remember, I want two distinct, authentic characterizations.

Screw you! Screw God and everybody in between!

The folk tale’s true, by the way. You learned it from the goats.

You're not really supposed to say Indians…

I'm gonna follow the hotel manager, Dr. Scowley-scowly. He's like a villain from Scooby-Doo.

I got me an angel on the payroll. It's that kinda universe, these days.

In the words of a— good friend... bite me.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[penniesforthestorm]

“Me and dead owls don’t give a hoot”: Justified Season 3, Episodes 2-4

We’re back at it, as the major conflicts of Justified’s third season begin to take shape. My recap of Episode One, “The Gunfighter”, is here; the previous season’s notes are tagged with ‘#justified season 2′, and the general tag for related business is ‘#did you miss my heart on purpose’.

Episode Two: “Cut Ties”

-In the aftermath of the encounter with Fletcher Nix, Raylan wakes up in the house Winona shared with Gary, only to have his morning routine disrupted by an ill-timed visit from the new realtor.

-Raylan goes to visit Boyd in jail, and the two of them muse on their unconventional relationships-- Raylan’s contemplating moving in with his pregnant ex-wife, and Boyd is, as he describes it, sleeping with “his dead brother’s widow and murderess”. Raylan also drops a hint that he knows why Boyd was so keen to get himself locked up this time around.

-Marshal Service Case of the Week: Art Mullen gets a visit from his old pal Bill Nichols, who works in Witness Protection. Nichols gets cornered outside a diner and shot in the leg. Following up on his disappearance is Agent Karen Goodall (Carla Gugino) up from Miami, and it’s implied that she and Raylan have a shared past. As the two of them track down a possible lead, Art sends Rachel to the home of one of Nichols’ witnesses--a woman with two small children-- with orders to watch and wait. Art tracks down the man who shot Nichols and, after interrogating him, establishes the link: he sold the addresses of Nichols’ other witnesses to a mob boss named Little Joe DeLaHunt (the man Raylan and Agent Goodall are tracking). Raylan, Goodall, and Art show up to help Rachel, who has managed to fend off two attackers and keep the witness and her children safe.

-Meanwhile Boyd, acting on a reluctant tip from Dewey Crowe, engineers another fight to get himself placed in solitary confinement, where his new neighbor just happens to be Dickie Bennett. Boyd sneaks into Dickie’s cell and holds him at knifepoint, demanding the location of Mags’ money. Dickie informs him it’s with a man named Ellstin Limehouse. Next morning, Boyd is released into Ava’s arms, and explains that getting the money will be trickier than they anticipated.

-In the final scene, we meet the mysterious Mr. Limehouse (Mykelti Williamson)-- aside from Rachel, he and his assistants, Errol (Demetrius Grosse) and Bernard (Cleavon McLendon) are the first major Black characters we’ve seen on the show. While carefully carving up a pig, Limehouse lectures Bernard for falling asleep on watch duty, and offers a choice: Bernard can submit to having his hand burned with lye, to settle the affair, or he can promise not to screw up again, knowing, if he does, the consequences will be dire. Bernard takes “Door #2.” As the camera pulls away, it lingers on Errol’s hand, which is marked with a heavy burn scar.

Episode Three: “Harlan Roulette”

-Ava makes a nocturnal visit to Limehouse’s BBQ shack-- clearly, they know each other well. She brings him to meet with Boyd, who is decidedly out of his comfort zone. Boyd offers to dispatch Dickie Bennett, but Limehouse doesn’t bite, and instead, slyly hints at Boyd’s “weed problem”. Boyd takes a swing at Devil for not burning the marijuana as ordered.

-Trooper Tom Bergen calls Raylan down-- they’ve caught scent of Wade Messer. They’re looking at him for a series of armed robberies, possibly connected to OxyContin trafficking, and Raylan expresses surprise that the generally benign Messer would be caught up in such business. Messer escapes the roadblock, but his buddy JT is caught and arrested.

-We catch up with Dewey Crowe and Dickie Bennett, bro-ing out in the prison yard. Corrupt guard Ash Murphy, who assisted Boyd in the previous episode, bends Dickie’s ear about the Bennett money. Jeremy Davies, as Dickie, gives possibly my favorite line-delivery in whole series when he tells Murphy to “h-h-hold your horses.”

-Messer and JT show up to apologize to their dealer, pawn-shop owner Glenn Fogle. Fogle makes JT play a few rounds of “Harlan Roulette” in punishment. “Maybe it’s just your lucky day, son,” Fogle says, as JT escapes round after round. “Maybe not,” Fogle intones, after shooting him.

-Errol arrives at the Givens home to offload the ruined weed stash, and Boyd directs Devil to help. Arlo puts a flea in Boyd’s ear about their discontent. Inside, Boyd pulls Devil, Arlo, and Ava in for a meeting and lays out his plans for the new Crowder empire. “We will not work with outsiders,” he declares.

-Off to Lexington, where Robert Quarles is describing his plans to take over the Oxy racket to Wynn Duffy. Quarles takes a phone call, and Duffy asks for the restroom. He takes a wrong turn, and discovers a seemingly naked man, gagged and bound on a bed. Quarles cheerfully redirects him- “Other side, buddy,” and Duffy turns away, visibly creeped out.

-Raylan visits Glenn Fogle, on Messer’s trail. Fogle makes a panicked call to Wynn Duffy, and Quarles, listening in, suggests that Fogle arrange for Wade Messer to kill Raylan.

-Step one of Boyd’s agenda: re-taking control of Johnny’s bar. Johnny, who has been conspicuously absent up to this point, unveils some new recruits to the crew: young punk Jimmy (Jesse Luken), about whom Johnny affectionately says, “We never know what he’ll do, so that’s a problem,” and the menacing, longhaired Rip.

-A very glum Wade Messer, having summoned Raylan to his house under the pretext of surrender, finds Raylan already waiting on the front porch. It turns out that Raylan went inside and found the gun Messer was supposed to shoot him with. Messer lures Glenn Fogle to the scene, and a standoff ensues, with Fogle and his henchman each offering Raylan information before unwittingly shooting each other.

-Boyd drinks with Devil, who reminisces about the glory days of Crowder’s Commandos, to Boyd’s obvious discomfort. Finally, Devil comes to the point-- which Boyd Crowder is he being asked to follow? Boyd responds that he’s the same as he’s always been, which, while probably true, isn’t the answer Devil thinks it is.

-Raylan, acting on a tip from Fogle, pays Wynn Duffy an impromptu visit, just as Robert Quarles is showing off his new wrist-gun rig. Raylan roughs Duffy up a little, and then, in an escalation of his previous threat, drops a bullet on Duffy’s chest. “Next one’s comin’ faster,” he growls, to Quarles’ obvious amusement.

Episode Four: “The Devil You Know”

-Devil meets with none other than Robert Quarles, at the recommendation of his friend Tanner Dodd. Quarles claims to sympathize with Devil’s plight (as told to him by Dodd), and suggests Devil join forces with him. Devil isn’t an idiot, repugnant politics aside-- he knows an opportunity when he sees one.

-Speaking of joining forces, Dewey Crowe jumps in to defend Dickie Bennett during a ruckus in the prison yard, and Murphy, who planned to help Dickie escape, expresses profound irritation. The infirmary nurse Lance (Clayne Crawford), on the other hand, seems to think Dewey might be useful.

-So, there’s a thing in dog training called the “blanket test”, used to measure problem-solving skills. You put a towel or blanket over the dog’s head (gently), and most competent pups will be able to extricate themselves in less than 30 seconds. As Murphy goes to let the two miscreants out of the van, Dewey Crowe falls out, and begins flopping around in a panic, still inside the body bag, failing the blanket test in spectacular fashion.

-Raylan goes to visit Loretta McCready, to ask if she might have any ideas about Mags’ missing money. She gives him a hard time, but clearly, both of them enjoy the interaction, and she mentions Limehouse.

-Next, Raylan and Rachel go to visit Limehouse, and Raylan explains the history of Noble’s Holler-- founded by emancipated slaves, and kept in self-willed isolation ever since. When Raylan mentions his surname, Limehouse pretends not to recognize it. He reluctantly agrees to let the marshals set up a roadblock, watching for Dickie Bennett. Dickie and Murphy see the police lights and head back to a motel, where Dickie makes new arrangements with Limehouse.

-Raylan heads to Johnny’s bar, trying to sniff out Boyd’s angle on Noble’s Holler. More history is revealed: Limehouse has offered sanctuary to white women looking to escape abusive husbands, including Raylan’s mother Frances. Raylan witnessed Arlo receive a beating at Limehouse’s hands when he attempted to get Frances back. Raylan then pulls Boyd aside, alerting him that Dewey and Dickie are out and looking for Mags’ money.

-Back at the motel, Murphy, Lance, and Dickie squabble-- Limehouse is supposed to call Dickie when the money has been delivered, and hours have passed with no word. Murphy goes out for fried chicken.

-At the bar, Johnny finds Devil lurking in the back office, and asks what’s on his mind. Devil says he’s through with Boyd Crowder, and he knows how to get in some “deep pockets”. Johnny drily says, “Start talking, Devil.”

-Raylan tracks down Murphy, tray of chicken in hand, and literally runs him down, as Dickie and the others escape from the hotel room. Murphy details the plan, and makes a remark about things potentially getting “weird”. Dewey tries to run away at a gas station, and Lance takes him, while Dickie and the others head to the store.

-Rachel stops Errol’s truck, which he claims is full of pig manure, and makes it clear she has every intention of searching it before she’ll let him through the roadblock. He turns back around, and a dismayed Raylan realizes that he was probably carrying the money. “Goddamn if I don’t have to save Dickie Bennett,” he mutters, driving off.

-Sure enough, Dickie is about to meet some unpleasant fate at the hands of the two men from the motel when Errol and Limehouse arrive at the store. Dickie opens a cooler, only to find that there’s significantly less money in it than expected. He angrily hands it back to Limehouse, saying their business isn’t finished until the whole $3 million is recovered. Raylan shows up, and Dickie surrenders.

-Devil makes his play-- with Johnny at his side, he corners Boyd for a “come-to-Jesus” meeting. Boyd sighs with regret, calling him “son”, and seeming to surrender. He asks for one last word, and Devil nods. “Knowing me the way that you do,” Boyd says softly, “What ever led you to believe you could pull this off?” Johnny raises his pistol to Devil’s head, and Boyd shoots him in the chest. He’s clearly furious, but there’s also grief in his voice-- no doubt Devil reminds him of his younger, angrier self. The episode ends with Boyd firing directly into Devil’s forehead, to ease his passing.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds S07E03 “Dorado Falls” review

Episode 03 – Dorado Falls

Hey y’all!

So this episode’s name is too vague for me to make speculations about what might happen ... hoping for something witty and awesome.

Let’s see what happens.

And she’s officially back :)

“Hey, good morning.”

Okay, now I want Prentiss as my BFF. Seriously. Free coffee in the morning before work? Perfection.

“Oh, look at you spoiling me. Thank you.”

“Where’s yours?”

“Oh, I quit caffeine. Trying to relax more.”

“Well, don’t relax too much. You got ten hours of takedown and arrest procedure training to rectify.”

“Since when?”

“Since the hearing.”

“Am I the only one?”

“Prentiss, you’ve been away.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess I can’t complain.”

“Well, especially not to your trainer.”

“Oh! You’re doing it?”

“Don’t get too excited. I’m about to put you through the wringer.”

“You can believe that.”

Oh my goodness, Prentiss’s look of excitement and then confusion is killing me.

Though I’m totally with her on that one. Why is Derek so excited on putting her through the wringer?

“Workplace massacre this morning at Synalock Incorporated. That’s in Charlottesville, which his practically in our backyard.”

“That’s a high body count.”

“Yeah, eight victims in total. All employees, including the CEO.”

Damn.

”Five shot, three were stabbed to death.”

“A gun and a knife. That’s highly unusual.”

“It could be two killers.”

“That would be the first time for a workplace killing.”

“Their business in Internet security for corporations. They didn’t have video surveillance?”

“They just moved into a new building. They didn’t have time to set up their system yet.”

“How is it no one saw anything?”

“The killer was prepared. Highly organized. This was premeditated.”

“He kept his emotions contained.”

“Pretty hard to do for the typical workplace killer who’s mentally ill or outraged about some perceived injustice.”

“The high body count indicates a hell of a lot of rage.”

“One employee, John Owen, was MIA. Local PD haven’t been able to locate him yet.”

Oops.

“Any unhappy clients?”

“Or a domestic situation among the employees?”

“Don’t know, but your friendly neighborhood genius girl will find out.”

“Bottom line is a mass killing is a classic show of force. It’s a way to become known. Which is why suicide, often by cop, is usually part of the plan.”

“So where’s the unsub?”

“He has a reason to stay hidden. He’s not finished yet.”

Well, fuck.

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds.”

“Absolutely. These are Agents Rossi and Jareau and Dr. Reid.”

I love his cutesy little wave.

“Of course. As soon as we make our assessment.”

Someone needs to put a plug in that whole media coverage before the cops arrive thing.

“So what do we know about the missing employee so far?”

“You said the CEO’s office was ransacked.”

“JJ.”

Let’s go investigate.

“The position of the body suggests he was one of the last ones killed.”

“He tried to escape and almost made it to the exit.”

“Jane Burney and Vinia Dev were here. Jane tried to run, Vinia didn’t.”

How does he know that? Because he’s the most genius genius to ever genius my genius.

...

And, you know, maybe he’s good at his job ... maybe.

“She’s half under her desk, which means she tried to hide and the unsub found her.”

“So these three were stabbed and the rest were shot to death.”

“Yes, but the bloody footprints all seem to come from the same pair of shoes.”

“Given the evidence, if there were a second killer, he’d be hard-pressed to get away without leaving tracks.”

“If there was only one unsub, he used his gun first, emptied his magazine, didn’t have a replacement, and resorted to using his knife.”

“He’d have to be physically fit or at least intimidating enough to subdue so many people.”

“If this were highly premeditated, he would have brought enough ammunition to kill everyone.”

“Unless he had a single target.”

“He killed the rest of them because they were witnesses.”

“We need to figure out who his first victim was.”

“These are contracts Synalock had. What was the unsub looking for?”

“Maybe he was a client searching for his own contract to hide any connection to Synalock after the murders.”

“Ah, everything’s digital these days, though. The hard copy’s just a backup.”

Oh my cute fossil, Rossi.

“So the unsub’s looking for an object, an old record, something not on a computer.”

“Huh. Rossi, check this out.”

“So, uh, Werner was worried enough about his safety to be armed.”

“And he didn’t have time to go for his gun or didn’t perceive the threat to be immediate.”

“Or keeping a gun around was out of force of habit.”

“He was a veteran.”

“A naval officer by the looks of it.”

“A decorated one at that.”

“He was awarded the Navy Cross in 2000.”

“Something else used to be here.”

“Another picture frame.”

Ruh-roh.

“Blood splatter overlay patterns indicate victim number three was over here.”

“Victim number two right here.”

“And finally victim number one right here.”

“Adam Werner was killed first?”

“Looks that way.”

“Which means the unsub made it all the way in here without alarming anyone.”

“He wasn’t threatening.”

“That’s why Werner didn’t pull the gun we found in his office.”

“He could have been the missing employee.”

“He may have taken that photo form his office if he was in it.”

“Why would an employee be interested in Synalock’s contracts?”

“Maybe this is about one client.”

“He could be after specific company information.”

“He had another motive besides killing.”

“It was clean and fast.”

“He sliced through the left carotid and abdominal aorta, major arteries that would bleed out quickly.”

“They all took two .45s to the chest, except for Adam Warner. He took four body shots and one to the head, execution style.”

“Definite overkill.”

“Somebody was angry with the boss.”

“Somebody with hunting skills.”

“Or a law enforcement background?”

“Talk to me, little genie.”

“Well, since you know how to rub my lamp, your wish is my command.”

Facepalming, grinning and giggling all at the same time here.

“I checked the Synalock client list, and the Defence Intelligence Agency is new to them, so there really isn’t anything to report, and everyone else is crazy happy with their service.”

“No complaints logged in?”

“Zero. I’m talking every high-tech blog, every chat room, glowing accolades. No one had anything contrary to say about Synalock.”

“Any employees have a history of domestic disturbances or stalkers?”

“Not that I’d violate privacy laws to check, she says, but the answer is no.”

“So Synalock is clean.”

“As a whistle.”

“Which reminds me …”

“You know how to whistle, don’t you?”

“You just put your lips together and blow.’

Oh my goodness, I love this ridiculous goddess and hunky chocolate adonis so freaking much.

“I love it when you talk old movies. Later, baby girl.”

“With all the overkill on Werner, there’s got to be a personal connection.”

“We’ve located John Owen, the missing employee. He’s been at a Doctor Who convention in San Diego since Saturday. It was a scheduled vacation.”

“Lucky guy.”

“I’ll say. That’s supposed to be an awesome convention.”

Dead here. Because I know I will never find a man as perfect as Spencer in real life.

“So if it wasn’t someone connected to the workplace, who is it?”

“You know, given the precision of the kills, it could be someone with a military background.”

“Or a professional hired by a business competitor.”

“A hit man would just kill Werner. Killing the entire office seems unprofessional.”

“Werner was a Navy veteran. He had DIA contracts. He had close ties to the military. It could be someone from his past harboring an old grudge.”

“Trooper, issue a Be on The Lookout to law enforcement for a physically fit male in his 30s to 40s, possibly a veteran. He appears nonthreatening and blends in easily. He’s armed and extremely dangerous. He most likely will kill again, either himself or others, very soon.”

You know, as serious as this is, the whole “Luke, I’m your father” thing is just too much for me and I cannot control my giggles.

“Are we sure the unsub is their son?”

“Luke Dolan called Synalock early this morning. Garcia confirmed it.”

“Know many 60-year-olds with a boombox?”

Not anymore. Which is sad.

“Trying to mask the sound of gunshots?”

“Could be. Or he was torturing them with sound.”

That metal music was definitely torture, bro.

“Why were they bound and gagged in the closet? Why not just kill them right away?”

“Maybe he was trying to get information from them.”

“About what?”

“Go ahead, Garcia, you’re on speaker.”

“Okay, Luke Dolan was in the same Navy unit as our CEO Adam Werner. That would be the 212th. They were both communication clerks at Camp Patriot in Kuwait. I’m sending all this information to your emails now.”

“Any other family?”

“He has a wife, Jenna. They’ve been separated for years. She lives in Bethesda with her eight-year-old daughter.”

“We need to bring her in for protective custody and to interview her. Send local PD and have our nearest unit meet them.”

“Done and done.”

Duh.

“Okay, it looks like he served thirteen years, honorable discharge in 2005. And now a VP of a biotech company. He was never a Synalock employee.”

“So what happened to this guy?”

“He was separated from his wife about a year ago, but that’s a bit far back to be a trigger.”

“Well, he’s on a rampage of some kind. What if mentally he was reliving a combat situation?”

“It could be post-traumatic stress. Everybody could look like an enemy.”

“Prentiss, this was a close-knit family.”

“Look at them.”

“They couldn’t have been more proud of their son.”

“How bad would his disorder have to be to make him kill his own parents?”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder rarely turns people into killers, but soldiers with PTSD have been known to strangle their wives in bed while having flashbacks or nightmares, believing they’re on the battlefield.”

“In 2005, an Iraqi war vet assaulted two people in Las Vegas, believing them to be enemy combatants.”

“So Dolan’s having a sustained flashback.”

“Pathological disassociation is one of the markers of complex PTSD, although Dolan has been stateside for six years. An escalation of the symptoms is possible, but it would be rare for them to appear out of nowhere.”

“Well, he seems to have made a successful transition to civilian life.”

“Well, at least on paper it does.”

“We should find out if he’s had any symptoms since he left the navy. It could have been the catalyst for the separation.”

“I’ll have Garcia check his records.”

“Hotch, Dolan’s been going through this.”

“Look, old mementos and journals from his days in the service.”

“He didn’t come here just to kill his parents. He came to get something.”

“He’s on some sort of mission.”

“The car’s washed, spotless inside, there’s no paint separation or rust.”

“This accident was recent.”

“I agree.”

“The Navy’s in his blood. he would never let that go without getting it fixed immediately.”

“It might have triggered his condition.”

“I’ll have Garcia run the plates, check for any recent accidents.”

“So, Dolan left his sedan and didn’t take the parents’ car.”

“He was smart enough to know it’d be tracked.”

“He’s either on foot or he’s stolen another vehicle.”

“If he’s capable of doing this, he’s rational and clear-headed enough to evade his perceived enemies.”

“So despite any mental incapacity, he’s still performing at a high level.”

“Just got word the local PD’s at the wife and daughter’s house.”

“Dolan’s unpredictable when he’s on a rampage. We need to go wide. We need to get the profile to the press.”

“Luke Dolan is a Navy veteran we believe is suffering from PTSD.”

“A recent trauma may have triggered this. He is experiencing pathological disassociation and may believe he’s in a combat situation.”

“What this means is, to him, everyone is a potential enemy. Do not underestimate him. Despite his mental state, he has extreme survival skills.”

“Right now, we believe he’s within a 250-mile radius of Roanoke. He is armed and extremely dangerous.”

“It is important that you do not approach him. He believes that he is on a mission, and if threatened, he will kill. So if you see him, stay away and notify the authorities.”

I’ll tell you whatever you want, gorgeous.

“One thing’s been bothering me is the first victim, Adam Warner, was given the Navy Cross in 2000.”

“We weren’t at war.”

“Exactly.”

“You have to show extreme sacrifice, risk life and limb to win the second-highest medal of valor.”

“So what did he do during peacetime to deserve it?”

“So, Garcia’s discovered part of Dolan’s military records were encrypted.”

“I just got the complete file to the Pentagon. He wasn’t a clerk. He was a Navy Seal.”

“Let me guess. Adam Werner was, too.”

“Yeah. Werner was the seal team leader, Dolan was his number two. Their unit was part of JSOC. They were involved in twenty highly classified missions.”

“Which missions were in 2000?”

“Uh, only one. Operation Dorado Falls.”

“See what you can find about it.”

“Will do.”

Good.

“That changes the profile.”

“Definitely.”

“How so?”

“Navy Seals are screened carefully for vulnerability to PTSD. They’re resistant to it.”

“So why would a trained Navy Seal kill his commanding officer and his own parents?”

“I don’t know, but it’s gonna be a lot harder to find him. Very few people on this planet are capable of stopping him.”

“Luke Dolan just evaded a roadblock near his wife’s house. They searched the surrounding area. There’s no sign of him.”

Well, this just turned from crap tp shit.

“Did you notice any recent changes in Luke’s behavior?”

“Did he ever mention Dorado Falls?”

“A mission he was on.”

“Is that why you two separated?”

“You weren’t a priority to him?”

“He had an exit strategy.”

Oh that poor woman. Her husband had an exit strategy from life and she took it personally.

“Okay, so it turns out 6:20 Friday night, Dolan got in a car accident in Bethesda.”

“That must have been after he dropped off his daughter.”

“He suffered minor injuries, he refused medical treatment.”

“Well, his wife said he was fine when he left her.”

“What was his mental state after the accident?”

“Normal. Field sobriety test came up negative.”

“That wouldn’t rule out drug use.”

Well, crap.

“I’d consider schizophrenia, except he’s the wrong age for the first psychotic break. It could be an aneurysm or a brain tumor.”

“Well, one thing’s for sure. He’s having a mental breakdown, but what are the specific features of it?”

“He’s not living in a past time and place, he’s living in the present, with the capacity and intelligence to evade law enforcement.”

Wow, that woman is rattled. Though any sane woman would if her husband was forced out of their house at gunpoint and she was left wondering what the fuck is going on.

“Mrs. Milgram …”

“Ma’am, listen to me. The FBI is in charge of looking for your husband, but I need you to try to remember what Luke Dolan said.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Just close your eyes.”

“Ma’am, I believe that you can.”

“Just listen to the sound of my voice and you’ll be fine.”

“Just try.”

“Close your eyes. There you go.”

“Just relax and breathe. Very good.”

“Now, what were you doing before he broke into your house?”

“Does he think your husband did something to them?”

“Does he mention Dorado Falls?”

Yup.

“All of the Milgrams’ cars are still here, so he must have taken the General in whatever vehicle he came in.”

“He talked about gaslighting. He thinks someone’s trying to purposely distort his reality.”

“He said his parents had been replaced.”

“He sounds delusional.”

“You know, he might have Capgras syndrome.”

Huh?

“It’s a delusional disorder in which one believes that their friends and loved ones had been replaced by impostors.”

“Sort of like Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”

“It typically involves only one sense, such as sight.”

“Basically, the neural connection between the visual cortex and the emotional center of the brain becomes severed, so that looking at a loved one doesn’t elicit the same emotional response one would expect.”

“So you think they’re an imposter.”

“And the interesting thing is that the auditory connection remains intact, so that if they were to hear a loved one speak and not see them, they’d think that they were real.”

“What causes this syndrome?”

“It’s unknown in 60% of the cases, but the rest have an organic cause, such as a tumor or head trauma.”

“He was in a car accident Friday.”

“People with delusional disorders don’t become killers, though.”

“True, but Dolan’s background as a Navy Seal, his knowledge of secret missions, plus Capgras syndrome, could result in extreme paranoia.”

“It’s the perfect storm.”

“Is there a cure for this?”

Nope. Shit.

“So this guy’s stuck with it.”

“He’s not killing for the thrill of it, he does it because he believes he has no other choice.”

“He murdered his best friend and his parents because he believed they were imposters.”

“So if he were to see his wife and daughter, the results could be deadly.”

“Dolan kidnapped the General and didn’t kill his wife because he had never met them before.”

“There may be another reason. He wants contact.”

“Our primary goal right now is the safe recovery of the General.”

“We could. But your help would speed things up.”

“You’re smart enough to see the upside, I’m sure.”

“You help and it goes well, you get your ticket punched.”

“You don’t and it goes south, well, the weather’s not too bad outside the beltway.”

“You know why Dolan’s so worried about this mission?”

“Were there complications?”

Oh damn. She don’t mess around.

“We think his car accident triggered a delusional disorder.”

“We need to know who Luke was close to.”

“Is this Lieutenant Luke Dolan?”

“Sergeant Major David Rossi, United States Marine Corps, retired.”

“I volunteered to call you.”

“I knew your dad, Luke. We were in boot camp together at Parris Island.”

“He’s a good man.”

“Still triangulating a location. Hold on.”

“Now, we can talk, but first I need to know that General Milgram is safe.”

“What’s up with the music?”

“I have no idea.”

You know, I am getting real tired of these writers stealing my thunder.

“Why did you kidnap the General?”

“Do you think we’re holding them?”

God. This guy is off his meds. And pretty bad.

“What have you got, Garcia?”

“Getting closer. We’re in the warehouse district. Stand by.”

“Got it! 3352 Spring Street.”

Go! Go! Go!

“Let’s go.”

“Release the General and then we can talk about your family. He’s innocent.”

“Luke, do you think your father would approve of what you’re doing?”

“Start what?”

What the fuck is this nutcase talking about?

“Why don’t you tell us your side of the story?”

“All right.”

“Dorado Falls was the name of a boat off the coast of Cape Town. It was owned by a South African diplomat who was selling nuclear secrets to Iran.”

“So what’s the big secret?”

“There isn’t one. Don’t get me wrong, lives were lost, but there’s been far worse missions.”

“His mind chose Dorado Falls to build a conspiracy around.”

Well, shit.

“This can’t be it.”

“Garcia, it’s an empty lot with a cell phone repeater. Give me a rundown on the buildings in the area and the years that they were built.”

“All over it like cat hair on a sofa.”

Someone zap her here so I can kiss her.

“Btw, I can usually locate a cell phone within three meters, but sometimes there are circumstance beyond my control, like physical barriers blocking a signal, not being in the satellite’s direct line of sight, which bounces the signal to a repeater.”

“Garcia, tell me you’ve got something.”

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I have something.”

Oh my God, she is the cutest thing ever.

“There is a hotel built in ’74 that is scheduled for demo, and there is a warehouse scheduled for loft conversion that was built in 1928.”

“All right, walls were thicker in the twenties.”

“What’s the address of the building?”

“More GPS signal interference.”

Come on, baby.

“Exact address is … 291 Hope Street.”

“291 Hope.”

“Intel failed to identify … two children aboard the boat.”

“You had to shoot those kids, didn’t you? They were witnesses. Just like everyone at Synalock.”

“Listen, Jenna and Ally are safe.”

“I’ll make you an offer. You let Milgram go and I’ll take his place.”

“But you need insurance. I get that. Let me take his place. Because I’m not just a guy behind a desk.”

“I was a Marine with boots on the ground, just like you.”

“I know what you’ve been through.”

“I want you to get your family back.”

“Where’s Hotch and Morgan?”

“The Spring Street address didn’t pan out. They’re searching the warehouse right now.”

“Luke, I need your exact address.”

“Clear.”

“We got the General. He’s still alive.”

Where the fuck is Dolan?

“Yeah, he used the radio to mask the sound of his movements.”

“We’re on the move.”

“This was all part of his plan to find out who was holding his wife and daughter.”

“But you never said you were FBI.”

“He saw the number I called from. He recognized the FBI prefix.”

“So, what, he’s on his way here to Quantico?”

“I know the head space he’s in. he feels alone right now. There’s no risk he won’t take.”

“As a Navy Seal, he did training here. He knows this place.”

Seal everything.

“An FBI police officer was just found shot to death in the academy parking structure.”

“He’s already here.”

Shit.

“Dolan’s photo’s already been sent on all internal servers.”

“He’s probably changed his appearance already.”

“And he’s got thirteen floors to hide on.”

Fuck.

“We should make a general PA announcement.”

Hey, I know that weirdo.

“No. He believes he’s on a rescue mission that he can pull off. As long as he thinks that, he’ll stay calm.”

“I’ve got hundreds of employees in here and you want me to do nothing?”

Seriously, dude?

“Garcia, I need you on the building’s operations computer.”

“Ready and able, sir.”

“Dolan’s got a police radio. I want all alerts sent through ha secure tactical channel.”

“We can’t take that risk. You’ll be safe in here.”

Good, keep them safe.

“He knows how to be invisible.”

“I got him. He used the dead officer’s ID to enter the seventh floor.”

“Seal if off. Nobody in or out.”

Oh boy.

“Navy Seals never start a mission without an exfiltration plan. Check the exterior and elevator shafts for riggings.’

“Turning exterior cameras now.”

“A member of the seal team said Dolan’s an expert in explosives, disabling and building them.”

“Also be on the lookout for explosives.”

Fuck.

Wack calling, let Rossi handle it.

“Hello.”

“Yes. I was hoping you’d call, Luke.”

“Where are you?”

Shit. He’s there with a fucking bomb and fucking shit I am not okay with this.

“Okay, okay. Easy, easy.”

“Oh, my God.”

“All right, Luke, you don’t want to be aiming that around.”

“Snipers have the building covered.”

“You’re in the crosshairs right now, I can guarantee that.”

“I’m the one you want. You can let my team go.”

“Start an evacuation.”

“Can we evacuate everyone in three minutes?”

“Prentiss, I need his wife in here.”

“No one is seeking revenge here. You’ve created this conspiracy in your own mind.”

“To protect them from you after you murdered your own parents.”

“Your real parents are dead.”

DUDE! What the fuck are you doing?!

“You want to know what’s really going on? You were in a car accident three nights ago and you suffered a head trauma.”

“You don’t believe that’s her?”

Shit.

“Jenna, can you talk to him about something personal, something that only the two of you would know about?”

“When you see your family, you think that they’re imposters, but it’s all caused by an illness.”

“You’re sick, Luke.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Luke, you have to close your eyes.”

“Because you need to know that your wife is real and your eyes will trick you.”

“Close your eyes.”

“First Jenna’s gonna cover up your eyes.”

Shit.

“No! No!”

“JJ, let me have him.”

“Get him out of here!”

“Get him out of here!”

Ah crap, it all went to shit.

Orson Welles: “Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for a moment that we’re not alone.”

“No, I didn’t mandate it.”

Wait. So Hotch didn’t mandate the training? Oh boy, my puppy really stepped in it this time.

“Hey.”

“Uh, Hotch didn’t order my takedown recertification.”

Busted.

“Do you want to tell me what’s really going on?”

“I just thought we both could use a refresher.”

“You mean you thought I could use it.”

“You’re nervous about me being back.”

“Emily …”

“What … you think I’m gonna mess up the team’s rhythm?”

“I get it. But just come out and say it.”

“Morgan.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Yea, I am nervous.”

“But not about you.”

“About me.”

“Emily, I thought I lost you, and I blamed myself.”

“Now, you’re back, but I don’t want to be worried about losing you again and get distracted.”

“So you wanted some reassurance.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Morgan, I cannot imagine what you went through.”

“It was seven months of hell.”

“How can I make it up to you? I will do whatever it takes.”

“Just give me ten hours of training.”

“Okay, you got it.”

“Shooting range on Sundays.”

“I’m there.”

“And my morning coffee and a neck rub every day.”

“Oh, buddy, you are really pushing it.”

Morgan, you little shit!

Whew. So aside from the craziness of this entire episode, because - hot damn! - this episode was so cute! Morgan dealing with his mixed feelings about Prentiss coming back and being worried he might lose her again, it’s just the most adorable subplot there is.

Also, I just found out that Reid likes to go to Doctor Who conventions, and it just made my day.

Also, I love how they address PTSD and general trauma-coping in military veterans. It’s seriously refreshing how they keep addressing all issues in human psyche around the vast country of the USA. Amazing.

And so, on this ... positive? ... note, I thank you all for keeping on following this stuff.

I’ll see you all next time and - in the meantime, enjoy the rest of the photos of Shemar Moore I’ve been hoarding.