#sure as hell dont know

[shrimpricebowl]

oh thank god

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

[kitamars]

hi ive been going through it a little bit

[mercurymacaroons]

arrives 15 min late with a latte

......sup

[screechingfromthevoid]

Orym is giving very "I have fallen in love again and that feels like a betrayal to my dead husband" energy.

He's also giving "I care so much about my friends and I have to protect them but the love I have for one is so strong that it's distracting me AND it's not fair to the others"

Like there is so much love contained in the Orym and also so much guilt.

[debatablyspicydurian]

I know the full arsenal update is out and hype for that but I just found the gutterman's poem in 7-2 and I HAVE to type about it because its night where I am and I cant wake up my friends to rant about Ultrakill.

Anyway, absolutely indescribable how we have the thoughts of a machine just laid bear in a secret for the first and maybe last time. The fact that a machine made for merciless slaughter could not only feel sadness for the person powering it but also WRITE a POEM? A machine made art??? The knowledge that they understand how cruel it is to make a human a blood battery, recognize it as torture, but also feel gratitude for the life they've been given?? It was known that machines had a sense of aesthetic from Swordsmachine and Mindflayer's entries but. Goddamn. The gutterman refers to the human as their mother and it states it CRIED when it crushed her skull as it hoped it would redeem its life.

Also the excerpt, "I know I know you would hate me so, and mother of me, I do too." Does this mean the Gutterman hated itself as much as the human? Did it hate the human instead along with the feelings of love and gratitude? Probably the former. Gutterman angst is so in.

V2's mannerisms and Swordsmachine's data entry are intresting, but a gutterman's eulogy for its prisoner and its attempt at redemption is another level. Actual machine thought process recorded!! Sapient lifeform that knows only war and death! The fact that the gutterman crushing the human's skull seemed to be out of mercy. Ough.

Noone has to interact I havent proof read this I am just RANTING this is CRAZY HAKITA HOW COULD YOU AND THE TEAM DO THIS

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[some-messed-up-writing-for-you]

No greater horror than going to reread one of your favourite fics only to realize it was fucking deleted.

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU SAVED IT ALL A WHILE BACK AND FIND THE SAVED COPY

So now Im just staring at the fucking PDF file of the fic, absolutely flabbergasted and shocked. This is it. This is the only way I'll ever be able to read it now. Holy shit 😭

The author deleted their entire accout too, so I guess they just wanted to get rid of everything. Which, I mean, is fine, it is their work after all. They can do whatever they want with it.

BUT MAN, Im gonna be saving stuff all the time from now on.

[ninjasmudge]

req for tabs who has the biggest fucking brain holy shit

[raventrigonsdaughter]

For reference about what i said about Enid's werewolf height the other day, this is how crazy her size is in wednesday's description in the novel and i hope SO MUCH they never change it cause it's both fun and funny as fuck

Example 1:

Example 2:

Example 3:

And now the side by side with my favorite werewolves one of them having until now the title of biggest werewolf

PLEASE NETFLIX THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IT OPENS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES, KEEP IT, like, bring it into the show, also because the novelization as many others more likely than not was based on the show's early development and then still got approved in the end means that despite the weird ass golden retriver we got they were probably really going for a horror inducing werewolf in the finale, in the final side by side specifically if she was on all fours like in the show she would still be around Van Helsing's own height, this is insane, can my fellow werewolf nerds come talk about this we got a gold mine here on teenage show territory and i need more

[haunted-xander]

Alone

[neeeeeoposts]

“god bless america i guess what else can you say” -charlie dompler

expanding more on this, i think it’d be super funny if at first ed thought his friends were simply just that. his friends. until idk maybe he thought out loud something like ‘i wish i had askjdwansdk a physical copy of my favorite horror movie’ and then bam his friends are now fairies

but then again they could also be leaving like accidental hints every now and then like being able to teleport items, albeit quietly and stealthfully or like their unnaturally stretchy skin that somehow doesnt break when theyre fighting with the other neighbor hood kids (ed would probably think its bc they use proper skincare but he would be terrified of it so he wouldnt know)

and when he does find out theyre fairies that can grant wishes he is probably somewhere in the middle between abusing the power given to him and knowing when to stop or restrict himself from making stupid wishes (in hindsight, he probably wouldnt but it would most likely be Edd who tells him to rethink a wish before Eddy grants it)

and i can totally see Rolf being that weird teacher from the FOP og show that break his bones everytime he thinks he sees fairies like that one valentines day episode from eene

[crustyfloor]

"Ivan isn't loved by anyone-" You were fooled by his warped perspective.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Youre the reason autistic people shouldnt be allowed in fandom spaces. I thought they were joking about how shit your Saiki K takes are but they were so right. 💀

HELPPP WHATSVHWUAHAUS i know half the anons i get are just people trying to piss me off but this is the craziest one yet i think

[nessberry]

tweaking bc everyone already yapping about loustat vs loumand vs lesmand meanwhile I'm still on claudia's fingers searching for a piece of madeleine to cling onto even tho she's already gone and claudia is actively turning to ash as well

[cannibal-nightmares]

let's make trouble in the dream world, we'll hijack heaven with another memory now; i make the most of the turning tide, it just split what's left of the burning silence