#sure I'll join your cult

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Hello, everyone! I hope you all had a relaxing holiday weekend.

So, today is the BIG day—Maria Bamford's new book is out! 🥳

To celebrate, I have a new post up of 10 fun facts about one of my favorite female comedians and the only woman Bo Burnham wrote a paragraph about in his 2010 list.

MARIA BAMFORD

where have all the women been? are you sexist, bo?! i think one of the worst things about comedy is the lack of women. and whenever i see a brilliant female stand-up, i realize how masculine and restricted most comedy is – and how the spectrum of it could be doubled if we told little girls that people would like them for being funny, instead of telling them to go to the tanning booth while the boys work on their dick jokes. but guess what? all that gender talk is irrelevant when talking about maria bamford! because i'm not even sure that she's human, let alone female. one of my favorite comics around today.

I hope you enjoy reading the 10 facts, and stay tuned for more comedy fun! ✌🏼🐔

[rocketsagan-blog]

Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford - A Review

or hello hi yes mental illness, yes mental illness, i got that yes, sweet, let us mental illness together, this is nice

A shorter review overall, but let's save the spoons and keep it short!

This is the kind-of-sort-of-stream-of-consciousness-memoir I can get behind. This is a safe-space, warm fuzzy blanket to hold while thinking about and talking about some of the rough spots in ones life. Even if those rough spots are years long, more mountainous than rough, or currently on-going - this is the kind of book that will meet you there, because Maria has been there and is the kind of person who talks about what being there was like.

Not everyone is going to have the kind of space for this - but I think the kind of humility that Maria brings is just so gosh-darned genuine, as well as willing to see the humor in what happens when tough times happen, when your brain is a stupid electric box on the fritz and it feels like anyone who tries to get close is going to get shocked.

This book also discusses Twelve Step Programs, and I appreciate that Maria highlights how/why agnostics and atheists can like/use the Twelve Steps, despite the very god-based bones of the program. Not that it will work for everyone, but community does have a place in healing - not a god-community, but a respect community that knows what this is like.

And there's more, always more, even in a shorter-ish book, but take your spoons and run into the night, my fellows. Have a good day/night, may your brain-electric-box go chugging along, and I hope to review more soon!

[scrimshawed]

i didn't expect part of this memoir to be about playing a betazoid in the star trek experience in the mall of america

[obsessivevoidkitten]

The Invasion

Cat Man Alien Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader

CW: Painful noncon, reader gets smacked, biting, collaring, owner/pet, pet reader, reader tied up, reader is an idiot, alien invasion, shapeshifting, general yandere behavior

Word Count: 1.2k

(Popped into my head, finished at 2-3am this morning, hope you all like it. Please leave comments and consider tipping to support the senior's bake sale, I love you all <3)

Twiggy was a rescue. He had been brought into the animal shelter you worked at and was pretty injured. Once he was nursed back to health, you immediately adopted him.

He was a bit standoffish, even by cat standards, but he slowly seemed to tolerate you. Then, almost actually like you. It's like he would enjoy affection and then catch himself and hiss before running off.

Even though you made sure never to let him outside, he always seemed to get out anyway, mostly in the dead of night. 

In an effort to discover just how he was escaping, you set up cameras. But they always ended up knocked down or broken before catching anything. Then you put a cat cam on him, but every night, he would fling it off after you went to sleep.

You had enough. It was getting creepy. You decided you would follow him. He never tried to leave while you were awake, though, so you had to pretend to sleep. 

The sound of the door could very faintly be heard closing, so you got up silently and slunk into the living room.

Astonished, you looked at the door. It had been unlocked, and Twiggy was missing. He had somehow figured out how to open doors. It wasn't entirely unheard of for a cat to manage a door handle, but the lock?

You quietly left the building and saw Twiggy moving with purpose down the road.

After a while, you thought yourself stupid. He was just going to do random cat stuff. Why were you following him? He probably just smelled something that gripped his attention.

But as he kept going through various alleys and back roads, a few other cats joined him without any reaction from him. They proceeded in orderly and determined fashion right into the old abandoned factory. 

You followed and had to hold back a gasp at what you saw. Down in the basement level was Twiggy standing on a pile of scrap with dozens of other cats gathering below him.

It was some sort of cat cult. 

But if you thought that was shocking, you hadn't seen anything yet. Suddenly, Twiggy effortlessly shifted into a nude man with curly brown hair, a tail, and cat ears on his head.

After he transformed, all the others did the same. The room was filled with naked men and women with tails and cat ears. This was getting too weird. The best course of action now was to make a silent retreat.

As you began to back away, Twiggy pointed in your direction and stated something you were too far to really hear.

In a flash, the cat people were upon you, dragging you over to Twiggy and forcing you to kneel before him before they tied you up and gagged you so you couldn't speak. 

He addressed the others without sparing a glance at you. 

"I infiltrated this human's place of employment and then their home." 

He stroked your hair in a manner similar to the way you would pet him in his cat form. 

"I have learned that we can use their workplace as a front and get adopted as their pets. We will use this method to infiltrate every home before taking over and turning humans into OUR pets!"

Twiggy turned to an androgynous looking cat person.

"River, I need you to take the form of this human and work at the shelter as we discussed at the last meeting. Come over tomorrow to my human's house, and I'll give you the schedule."

River nodded in affirmation.

After that, the meeting came to an end, and Twiggy dismissed the others. He pulled the gag off of you and allowed you to speak.

"Twiggy, w-what's go-"

The cat man smacked you harshly. It left an echo resounding through the large empty room. 

"That's a gross pet name. My real name is Declan."

You whimpered and then flinched when he pet the spot he had smacked gingerly. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you, you didn't know… You probably have lots of questions."

Of course, you had questions. And Twig- Declan… answered every one of them patiently. 

He explained that the cat people were aliens who just happened to have a form that looked like a common earth house pet. They could also look like any human they wanted, though they had to hide their feline features. He was the leader. And now that you were aware of everything, you got to be the first pet. His personal one. He promised to treat you well.

After the Q&A, he put on some clothes he had and took you back to what was no longer your house. He put your gag back in so you couldn't scream on the way.

True to his word, he treated you like a precious pampered pet, since you had helped heal him and took such good care of him. He even gave you a jeweled collar for you to wear as proof he owned and cared for you.

Though he had started to care about you in ways that he probably shouldn't have.

But after a while, he couldn't help it anymore. One night when your head was laying on his lap while the two of you watched a show he liked, something he forced you to do as he stroked your arm and side, his cock stirred under your head, and he had to give in.

He stripped you of all your clothes; you struggled and protested, but his strong, lean body easily overpowered your own.

He pulled off your collar and bit your neck hard to get you to submit as he mounted you, before shoving his cock in you deeply all at once with no preparation. 

The cat man fucked into you ferally, going off pure instinct, pushing your head into the couch cushion so no one could hear your screams.

You were sure you were going to die, that you were going to be split apart by his girthy cock, that the last things you would hear were your muffled screams, the sound of his nuts slamming into you, and his animalistic growls.

Declan's cock pistoned in and out roughly as tears streamed down your face. You felt a sense of shame as he forced you to orgasm despite the cruelty of the way he was violating you.

It wasn't enough that he took your house, job, and way of life and eventually would take your planet, but now he was claiming your insides with his throbbing cock as well.

He came in you roughly and finally seemed to gradually come back to his senses. He licked away your tears and the blood and cum that were mingled and leaking from your hole.

"I'm so sorry, I just couldn't help myself! I'll be more gentle and use lube next time, okay?"

The cat man comforted you as best he could, bathing you as you sobbed. He sincerely regretted hurting you, but he couldn't deny his instincts and really needed some release. Going forward, he decided you would be his mate as well as his pet, so he didn't go wild with pent-up emotions again. 

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

✨Bucking Bronco✨

@bat-boness keeps fucking cooking with their Cowboy Lucifer art and I shall do the same!!! @nayomi247 and @liveontelevision this is your fault too lol, we have now formed a small but mighty Cowboy Lucifer cult fan club

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: Lucifer finds himself in a punishing situation…

Warnings: 18+, smut, hand job, oral (m receiving), p in v

“You know, this wouldn’t be happening if you would come in from the farm on time, Luci,” you scolded as you finished tying the last knot on his wrists. "I don't think I ask for much."

This was the third night in a row your hardworking husband has missed dinner with you. You let it slide the first night. The second night you gave him a gentle reminder to not overwork himself. But tonight was the last straw. A third night of eating alone with a cold plate of food sitting across the table from you. You loved him dearly, but you hated that his priorities didn’t seem to be in order. You were going to make sure he learned his lesson one way or another. He tried to butter you up as he usually did when he came in from work late, knowing full well what he'd done. You feigned a smile and told him not to give it another thought. You told him to get comfortable and that you would join him upstairs soon. But when you walked into your room with your rope in hand, he gulped. He knew damn well that he was in trouble. You sat him down on the ottoman and wrapped your ropes around his hands and wrists, pinning his arms behind his back, effectively rendering him helpless against your ‘punishment’.

“Darlin’, I-I’m sorry, time just gets away from me sometimes! I-I would never do anything to upset you,” Lucifer stuttered. “P-Please, have mercy…”

You checked the tightness of your ropes before standing in front of your husband, towering over him in his subdued state. “Oh, I’m not upset with you! But since you’ve just been working so hard lately, I thought it’d be mighty kind of me if I helped you relax.” You brought your hand to his chin and had him meet your intense gaze. “Do you want me to help you relax, sweetheart?” you asked, knowing all too well that there was only one answer he could give you.

“Y-yes,” Lucifer responded meekly.

"That's my good boy," you praised, a small whimper escaping Lucifer's throat. You slowly dragged your hand down his open-shirt chest, stopping right above his already very apparent erection. He did his best to buck his hips up in an attempt to create any sort of friction. But all this did was cause you to pull you hand away from him immediately. He whined pathetically. "Behave now," you reprimanded. Lucifer looked up at you with glassy eyes and nodded obediently. You smiled and brought your hand back down to its previous spot, hovering just about his hard-on. You heard Lucifer's breath hitch as you finally placed your palm over his cock that has been painfully straining against his jeans. It took every ounce of willpower in him to remain still while you toyed with him.

"P-Please," Lucifer mewled, "I-I can't...hng..."

You pulled down the zipper to his pants lethargically, watching Lucifer's chest rise and fall more and more rapidly until you finally released his already leaking cock from its confines. "I love how needy you are for me, sweet pea." You gripped his length in your hand and started stroking him meticulously. Lucifer's whines filled the room, you've never heard sweeter sounds than his desperate cries. His precum leaked onto your hand, your jerking motions becoming smoother. You circled your thumb over the head of his cock, applying the lightest of pressure to it. Lucifer cried out as he bucked his hips once more from your teasing. You let go of him again, tears now welling up in his eyes from the loss of your touch.

"I'm sorry!" Lucifer nearly shouted. "D-Don't stop, please...I'll behave, I-I promise!"

"That's strike two, Luci," you warned. "You wouldn't want me to leave you like this, would you now?"

"N-No! Please...", a single tear rolled down his face. You smiled gently and wiped it from his cheek.

"Shh, it's alright," you cooed, "patience, my love. I'll take care of you."

He took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down. He knew deep down you wouldn't leave him in such a desperate and vulnerable state. You knelt down on the ground, gripping his shaft once more. You stuck out your tongue and licked up the length of his cock, tasting all the precum that had spilled out of him. Lucifer's voice caught in his throat; he was beyond forming any coherent sentences at this point. He struggled against his binds, losing grip of his control fast. Your tongue circled his swollen tip, eliciting the smallest yelps from your lover, your hot breath driving him insane. You enveloped him suddenly, bobbing your head up and down, taking as much of him as you could. Lucifer was frozen, he dared not move again in fear of the repercussions. Instead, he was loud, moaning and whining from everything you were giving him in this moment. You let him go with a satisfying pop, flashing a mischievous grin.

"Tell me what you want, sugar," you teased him as your hand replaced your warm mouth. "Use your words."

Lucifer's hat had fallen in front of his face, you could no longer see his eyes. You lifted it up only to see them glowing a bright crimson red, his hunger for you now abundantly evident. "N-Need you," he choked out, "need to feel you, n-now. Please...ride me..."

You smirked at him and nodded. You stood up once more, removing your belt in one swift motion and tossing your shorts off so the side, your soaking pussy now in full view. Lucifer gulped audibly. You straddled yourself against Lucifer's hips, teasing his cock with your dripping folds. You decided to wear his hat on your head instead so that you could clearly see the disheveled mess of a man beneath you. He blushed hard at the sight. You leaned down and planted the tiniest peck to his forehead.

"Now, are you going to be late again?" you questioned playfully.

"N-No," Lucifer promised. "I'll come in from the farm on time, I-I swear! You'll never w-wait for me again!"

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear." You lined yourself up and slowly lowered yourself onto him, taking him an inch at a time. He was thicker than most, so he knew you needed just a little bit longer to adjust to his abnormal size. Not that you minded in the slightest, he was able to hit all of the right spots without even moving. Once you bottomed out on his cock, you both let out a wanton moan. After a few seconds of letting yourself stretch around him, you began to shift your hips. Your sudden movements forced Lucifer to lean against the crook of your neck for support. He felt as though you were trying to milk him dry. Which is exactly what you were doing.

"F-Fuck, Lucifer," you stuttered, "always making me f-feel so good, baby. Look s-so pretty under me..." Lucifer could barely hear your praises over his own sounds. This was pure bliss, but agonizingly torturous at the same time. His bound hands were eager to touch you, to hold you, to feel you.

"My love, please, I-I'm begging, let me go..." he cried into your shoulder. "I'm so so sorry, I-I...please..." You stopped your movement completely and started gently petting the back of his head. How could you deny him any longer?

You reached down and grabbed the sheathed blade that adorned his hip. "Stay perfectly still," you commanded, reaching around and carefully slicing the ties around his arms and wrists, letting the rope fall to the floor. You tossed the knife far away from you while Lucifer's hand immediately gripped your hips.

"T-Thank you, darlin'," he whispered against you, "let me make it up to you now. S-Show you how sorry I really am." Without warning, Lucifer lifted you up only for him to slam you right back down on his throbbing cock. The cry you let out was lustful and wanting. His hips bucked up into you at a relentless pace, your cunt clenching around him desperately while you both chased your highs. You dug your nails into his shoulders for support as he pounded into you over and over. You felt that familiar knot in your stomach growing larger, threatening to snap any given second as your lover pushed you to your breaking point with each thrust.

"L-Luci," you whimpered helplessly, "I'm close, s-so close, mmph, fffffuuu-uuuccck..." Your pleas only seemed to drive him even madder than he already was as one of his hands left your hips, his thumb finding that small sensitive bundle of nerves. You nearly screamed from the new sensation.

"Me too, sweetheart, m-me too, shit,' Lucifer breathed. "Cum f' me, l-let me feel you cum around me..."

With those words, stars clouded your vision. You felt your cunt pulsate around Lucifer's cock, tightening and squeezing him without abandon, your juices leaking onto his lap. Your orgasm pushed your lover over the edge as well, his grunts and whimpers echoing throughout the room as he filled you up to the brim with his hot seed, having to bite down your shoulder as to not lose himself in the pleasure. As you both started to recover from your highs, you cupped Lucifer's face in your hands and brought him in for a deep kiss. Your tongues fought for dominance, still trying to catch your breath in the process. You pulled away from him, his half-lidded eyes gazing up at your adoringly.

"You owe me a new rope," you chastised lovingly.

~~~

I have no real excuse for this :3

[nhaaauyen]

is it casual now? ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

modern sev x reader au: after a shitty day at work, you go to the beach to release some stress, only for a certain coworker to show up.

series masterpost: floating wc: 4.2k author's note: everything that happened in this fic did actually happen with a girl I was seeing LMAOO (except for the kiss cause i was too shy) but i’ve been wanting to write an ode to this memory for so long! though the title was named after casual by chappell roan, i actually don't recommend you listen to it when you read this because this is anything but casual ~ My Song Recommendation

Sev: Why are you at the beach at 11PM? You: ? You: Why can't I be? Sev: Because it closes at 12am Sev: And you said before you don't go out past 11PM on workdays You: I didn't know you worked for the beach patrol Sev: Lol

You stare at your phone screen, watching the three message dots bounce back and forth. You know you're being an asshole, but you can't help the snappiness in your tone. Sevika never cared or talked to you outside of work before, so why does she suddenly care now?

The typing bubbles disappear and relief washes over you, but a small, masochistic part of you wishes she'd actually sent something.

Sev: Are you good?

The three-word question glares at you from the screen. 

Are you good? Absolutely not. 

But this is Sev, the woman who doesn't bother with greetings or a courtesy "How are you" despite working together for months. How do you answer a question that could unravel the emotions you're barely keeping at bay, especially to someone who's never asked before?

You: Yeah  You: I'll go soon so you don't have to stalk my location haha Sev: Alright

You stare at the tiny message bubble until the blue light stings your eyes. Finally, you shut off your phone and toss it onto your makeshift blanket.

The beach is eerily quiet save for the rhythmic crashing of waves against the shore. The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery glow across the water and illuminating the foam as it rushes up the sand. You sit there as the incident at work replays in your mind for the hundredth time. Your head server's harsh words, the embarrassment of being scolded in public, the shame from how quick you were brought to tears - it all comes rushing back, making your chest tighten. 

The cool sand beneath your fingers grounds you somewhat and you inhale deeply, letting the briny scent of the ocean fill your lungs. 

A cool breeze picks up, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. You shiver as you sit there, feeling small and vulnerable, and you can't help but wonder how you'll face everyone tomorrow. The thought makes your stomach churn, and you close your eyes, trying to shut out the world for just a little longer.

As you close your eyes, a new sound cuts through the sounds of waves crashing against the shore. The crunch of rubber tires over pebbles grows louder, and suddenly, a bright light washes over you. You squint, momentarily blinded by the harsh glare of headlights.

"You really had to make me search for you, Pagli?"

Your head whips around in shock, eyes wide as you see Sevika stepping out of her car. You scramble to your feet, brushing sand from your clothes.

"Sev? What are you— You didn't have to come here," you protest.

She approaches with a casual shrug. "Well, too bad, cause I was near here anyways. Had to make sure you weren't drowning or joining a beach cult."

You can't help but let out a small, incredulous laugh. "A beach cult? Really?"

"Hey, you never know," Sevika retorts with a smirk. "I don’t know what you like to do late at night."

You shake your head, trying to maintain your composure. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. You should go home."

"Nah, I think I'll stick around," she says, plopping down on the sand next to where you were sitting. "Unless you've got some secret midnight rituals planned?"

You roll your eyes, but feel your resolve weakening. "You're stubborn as hell, you know that?"

"Part of my charm," Sevika replies with a wink. "Now, are you gonna sit back down, or do I have to drag you?"

After a moment's hesitation, you sigh and lower yourself back onto the sand. "Fine, you win. But don't expect me to be good company."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sevika says softly, her tone gentler than before. "But I'm here if you want to talk. Or not talk. Whatever you need."

“I’m good.”  You replied.

“Fine with me.” 

As you sit in silence, Sevika reaches into her pocket and pulls out a joint. You can't help but shake your head in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable," you mutter.

She glances at you, eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Do you just have an unlimited source of that or something?"

Sevika just shrugs, a small smirk playing on her lips as she places the joint between them. As she fumbles for her lighter, she catches you staring and pauses.

"Do you want some?" she offers casually.

You hesitate, fingers fidgeting in the sand. "No... uh, I never tried."

Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Serious?"

"Yeah," you admit, feeling a bit self-conscious.

Sevika's expression softens slightly. "Well, Pagli, I'm in a sharing mood, so..."

You shake your head quickly. "Nah, I'm gonna embarrass myself. I don't know how to..."

"It's easy," she assures you. "Just inhale, hold it for a bit, and release."

You eye the joint warily. "Uh, shit... Yeah sure."

Instead of handing it over, Sevika brings the joint to her lips and lights it. You watch intently as she demonstrates, her cheeks hollowing slightly as she inhales. She holds it for a moment, then slowly exhales a stream of smoke into the night air.

Your eyes are fixed on her, taking in every detail of the process. There's something almost mesmerizing about the way the smoke curls from her lips, dissipating into the darkness.

Sevika turns to you, holding out the joint. "Your turn, if you want."

You hesitate, your heart racing a little. Part of you wants to refuse, to play it safe knowing that you wouldn’t risk humiliation in front of your coworker when you end up messing up, but another part of you was just completely over this day.

Slowly, you reach out and take the joint from her fingers, your skin brushing against hers for a brief moment.

You take the joint, bringing it to your lips with nervous anticipation. Trying to mimic Sevika's actions, you inhale deeply. Immediately, your eyes go wide as the smoke hits your lungs. You start coughing violently, your throat burning.

To your surprise, Sevika gently pats your back. "It's okay, Pagli! Damn. You just gotta practice some more."

As your coughing subsides, you realize this is the most Sevika has ever talked to you. It's oddly comforting, despite your embarrassment. You hand the joint back to her and she casually takes a puff, with her head leaning back slightly as she exhales.

"You're not cold?"

"No, why?" you ask, puzzled.

She gestures at your outfit. "Because you haven't changed out of your work uniform."

Instead of answering - because you know where that conversation would lead - you reach for the joint again. This time, you focus intently on mimicking Sevika's technique. You inhale, hold it for a moment, and exhale. There's still a slight cough, but it's significantly better than your first attempt.

"Hell yeah!" you exclaim, feeling a small surge of pride. "I sorta did it!"

Sevika gives you a half-grin that makes your heart skip a beat. "See? You're gonna be a pro soon." She pauses, her grin widening slightly. "But you're gonna get super hungry later at this rate."

Your eyes widen as realization hits you. "Oh fuck, you're right. I didn't bring any food," you say, a slight pout forming on your lips.

"I brought something," she offers, "but in exchange, you have to tell me what's going on."

You roll your eyes, you weren’t going to fall for that. "I can deal with it."

"Fine," she shrugs, "then no more." She makes a motion as if to put out the joint.

"What? I'm still practicing!" you protest. "What happened to trying to get me to the pro league?"

Sevika just laughs, the sound unexpectedly warm. "Sorry, there's an entry fee."

You sigh, knowing you're cornered. "Fine," you mutter, then barely above a whisper, add, "I fucked up bad at work today."

Her expression turns serious. "What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath, you tucked a stray hair behind your ear and avoided eye contact. "There was this creepy guy at one of my tables. He kept specifically asking for random things like more napkins or refills, and I knew why he did that." You shudder slightly at the memory. "I wanted to switch with a male server, but we were too booked so I just tried to bear with it.  I didn’t think he would cross any lines since it looked like he was with family too."

Sevika listens intently as you continue, "It got too far when he kept making me uncomfortable, saying he would tip well if I gave him my number." Your hands clenched into fists in the sand. "So after I came back, I... I 'accidentally' spilled water on him."

You can't meet Sevika's eyes as you finish, "I knew it was unprofessional and petty, but I was so frustrated. After getting yelled at by the head server, it kind of hit me what I did."

As you fall silent, you feel a mix of shame and lingering anger. You wait anxiously for Sevika's response, afraid to see judgment in her eyes.

But Sevika's response catches you off guard. "He deserved it," she says firmly.

Your eyes widen in surprise. "Huh? But I made a mess because I couldn't keep my emotions in check. You know there are always going to be horrible customers..."

She cuts you off with a shake of her head. "Nah, he deserved it. It's a shame you couldn't stay to watch when I kicked him out and announced that he was trying to grope one of our servers in front of his entire family and the restaurant."

You stare at her incredulously for a moment before bursting out laughing. "No way? You actually did that?"

Sevika shrugs nonchalantly. "What's Silco gonna do? I'm the best general manager he's got." She pauses, a prideful glint in her eye. "Though our head server might need a bit of retraining."

You can't believe what you're hearing. Sev, the Sev, actually stood up for you. A wave of gratitude washes over you, and you suddenly feel shy.

"Thank you... for that," you murmur. "It meant a lot."

She just nods in response, a comfortable silence falling between you. Sevika passes you the joint again, and this time when you take a hit, you manage to do it without coughing. 

"I did it!" you exclaim, unable to contain your enthusiasm.

"Look at you, you might get into the Olympics next." She teased.

The tension from earlier completely dissipated, and you can't help but feel a newfound appreciation for Sevika.

"Okay, you gotta slow down now. This is your first time," Sevika warns, pulling the joint away as you reach for it again.

"Nooo, give it," you whine, making a half-hearted grab for it.

She shakes her head firmly. "Nuh-uh." Sevika puts out the joint despite your protests.  Then, without warning, she announces, "I'm lying down."

"What?" you ask, confused by the sudden change.

Sevika doesn't respond, just leans back onto an apron acting as your beach blanket. After a moment's hesitation, you did the same. It's only now that you realize how close she is. You can see the rise and fall of her chest, steady and rhythmic.

You close your eyes, letting the sensations wash over you. "Do you hear that?" you murmur. "The waves sound amazing." A small giggle escapes your lips.

"It's hitting you now," Sevika observes, amusement coloring her voice.

"Shhh, Sev. Listen," you insist, your voice barely above a whisper.  If only you didn’t close your eyes at that moment, because then you would’ve seen the shy smile appear on her lips at the nickname that she only lets you use on her.

As you concentrate on the sound of the waves, you became aware that you're also following the pattern of Sevika's breathing. It's oddly comforting, this synchronicity between her, you, and the ocean.

Curiosity gets the better of you, and you dare to look over at her. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize she's staring at you with those stormy gray eyes that never seem to reveal anything. The intensity of her gaze sends a jolt through you, triggering an immediate panic.

You sit up abruptly, your heart racing. Sevika follows, concern etched on her previously relaxed face. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, I'm hungry," you blurt out, desperate for a distraction.

Sevika just laughs, the sound rich and warm. "Here, I’m glad I brought this," she says, reaching into her pocket. She pulls out a colorful bag of sour gummy worms, the plastic crinkling loudly in the quiet night.

The sight of the candy, so unexpectedly bright in contrast to Sevika's stoic character, makes you laugh. You watch as she pulls out a gummy worm, the candy stretching slightly before she bites into it. The casual act feels strangely intimate in this moment, and you find yourself transfixed by the movement of her jaw as she chews.

"Want one?" she asks, holding out the bag to you.

Your fingers brush against hers as you reach for a candy, sending another small shiver through you. As you pop the gummy worm into your mouth, the burst of sour flavor feels like a shock against your tongue.

While you devoured practically half the bag, Sevika stretches languidly before lying back down on the sand. You followed suit, turning to face her. This time, feeling way less sober than the beginning, you don't shy away from her gaze.

You notice one of her usually tucked fringes has come loose, falling softly across her forehead. Your fingers twitch with the urge to brush it back, but you manage to restrain yourself.

Sevika's eyes are fixed on you, her expression softer than you've ever seen it. "I'm tired," she mumbles, her voice low and slightly husky. "I want to sleep... this feels nice."

A dopey smile spreads across your face at the sight of her uncharacteristic vulnerability. "Do it," you encourage gently.

"Wake me up in a bit?" she asks, her eyelids already starting to droop.

"Of course," you assure her.

As Sevika's eyes close, you sit there, taking in the moment. You listened to the rhythm of her breathing mix with the sound of the waves and the refreshing sea breeze. 

Suddenly, Sevika makes a noise that's almost like a whine. "It's cold," she murmurs, not opening her eyes.

"Really?" you ask, surprised.

"Yeah," she confirms. Then, to your shock, she says, "Come here."

Before you can process what's happening, Sevika is draping her red jacket over both of you. The action brings you even closer to her, and your brain struggles to keep up with this new development.

You find yourself studying Sevika's features up close. Her nose, which you've always thought was cute but never dared to admit, her long lashes resting against her cheeks, and the scar that runs across her cheekbone.

The warmth of her body so close to yours, the scent of her cologne mingling with the salt air, the soft sound of her breathing - it all combined to create a moment so intimate and unexpected that you feel almost dizzy with it. You're acutely aware of every point where your body is almost, but not quite, touching hers.

Your heart is pounding so loudly you're sure she must be able to hear it. But Sevika's breathing has evened out, suggesting she's drifting off to sleep. You lie there, barely daring to move, caught between the desire to savor this moment and the fear of disturbing her.

You find yourself caught in Sevika's gaze as her eyes slowly flutter open. The moonlight reflects in her dark irises, creating an almost ethereal effect. 

"What are you staring at?"

Your heart skips a beat. "You," you reply without thinking, then immediately feel heat rush to your cheeks.

A smirk plays at the corner of Sevika's lips. "Mmm... you're plotting my murder, right?"

You can't help but chuckle softly. "Haha, of course.  I’ve been waiting months for this moment.”

"Damn," she sighs dramatically, through her eyes sparkled with amusement. "At least I get a gorgeous view before my final moments."

The air between you suddenly feels charged. You fall silent, profoundly aware of every breath, every subtle movement. Sevika's hair has fallen across her face, obscuring part of her scar. Without really thinking about it, you reach out, gently tucking the errant strand behind her ear.

As you start to pull your hand back, Sevika's fingers wrap around your wrist. Her touch is gentle, a stark contrast to her usual brusque demeanor. You freeze, your breath catching in your throat.

"Don't," she whispers, her voice barely audible over the soft lapping of waves.

Sevika holds your hand gently, her calloused fingers tracing over yours with surprising tenderness. She examines each fingertip as if committing them to memory. Just as you're getting lost in the intimacy of the moment, she breaks the silence.

"You got tiny ass hands, Pagli.”

You blink, taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Sevika bursts out laughing, the sound rich and wonderful. Her head tilts back, revealing a full set of stunning teeth. The sight momentarily captivates you, but you quickly recover, determined not to let her win this moment.

"You know, I was only trying to steal the gummies," you retort, trying to keep a straight face.

Her eyebrow arches challengingly. "Really? Come and get it then."

Before you know it, you're both wrestling on the makeshift blanket. Sand flies everywhere as you tussle, laughter filling the air. It's been so long since you've felt this carefree, this alive. Your worries from earlier seem like a distant memory now.

Somehow, you manage to gain the upper hand. You find yourself practically pinning Sevika down, your faces mere inches apart. You can feel her warm breath on your skin, catching the faint scent of weed. Your heart races, and for a moment, you're tempted to close that small distance between you.

Instead, you break the tension by snatching the bag of gummies from her grasp. "I win!" you declare triumphantly.

But even as you say it, the victory feels hollow. The gummy bag hangs limp in your hand as you watch Sevika accept defeat with surprising grace. She's still beneath you, her chest rising and falling with each breath, her eyes locked on yours.

You wish you could reach out and caress her face, trace the line of her scar, feel the softness of her skin again. The urge is almost overwhelming, but you hold back, unsure of how she'd react. The moment stretches between you, filled with unspoken words and possibilities.

Sevika pats the spot next to her, inviting you back. You settle in, acutely aware of her warmth beside you. Her eyes, dark and curious, search your face.

"What are you thinking about now, Pagli?" she asks softly.

Before you can stop yourself, the words tumble out. "I want to play with your hair."

Immediately, heat rushes to your face. You're about to stammer an apology when Sevika takes your hand, guiding it to her hair. The silky softness surprises you, and you can't help but run your fingers through the strands.

Sevika's eyes flutter closed, a contented sigh escaping her lips. Encouraged, you begin to gently massage her scalp, marveling at how relaxed she seems.

"What does Pagli mean?" you whisper.

A smirk plays on Sevika's lips. "Crazy girl," she replies without skipping a beat.

"Huh?!" You're not sure whether to be offended or flattered.

"It's because you do crazy and bold things. I like that about you."

Your stomach flutters with warmth at the admission. Sevika leans into your touch, murmuring, "That feels amazing."

Gradually, she shifts closer, until her head is tucked against your chest. You can feel the steady pace of her breathing, the warmth of her body against yours. Without really meaning to, you find yourselves practically spooning.

As you stretch out, your feet brush against her shins, and you realize just how much taller she is. It's oddly endearing, this contrast between you. Your fingers continue their gentle exploration of her hair, occasionally trailing down to trace the curve of her neck.

The moment feels soft, intimate in a way you never expected. The sound of waves provides a soothing backdrop, and the moonlight casts a gentle glow over you both. You're struck by how vulnerable Sevika looks like this, all her usual sharp edges softened.

You want to say something, to put into words the feeling blooming in your chest, but you're afraid to break the spell. So instead, you hold her close, savoring the unexpected comfort of this moment, wondering how something so beautiful could arise from such a difficult day.

You keep replaying the moment when Sevika's strong arms practically dragged you into cuddling her. The memory sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. Your hand moves almost of its own accord, slowly rubbing circles on her back. You hear her sigh contentedly, the sound filling you with a warmth that has nothing to do with the physical closeness.

Just as you're sinking deeper into this blissful moment, bright white lights suddenly flash on, startling you both. A loud voice booms across the beach: "THE BEACH IS CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES. PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO THE PARKING LOT."

"Urghhh," you groan.  You instinctively buried your face into your hands.

Sevika's response is even more vocal - she lets out a louder, more dramatic groan that vibrates through her chest and into yours. The sound is so unexpected and so uncharacteristically cute, that you can't help but laugh.

Your laughter seems to break the spell. Sevika lifts her head, her hair mussed from your earlier attentions, and gives you a mock glare that's softened by the smile tugging at her lips.

"What's so funny, Pagli?" she asks, her voice husky with lingering sleep.

"Nothing," you say, still chuckling. "Just... I never pegged you for a whiner."

Sevika rolls her eyes. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it," she grumbles.

You lean in close to Sevika, whispering conspiratorially, "They can't kick us off if we hide in the sand, right?"

"Yeah, or if we stay really still," she adds, barely suppressing a grin.

You both freeze comically, trying to blend in with the beach around you. But as the final announcement blares across the sand, you finally admit defeat.

As you both reluctantly start to gather your things, you can't help but steal glances at Sevika. Her hair is tousled, her clothes rumpled from lying on the beach, and there's a softness to her expression that you've never seen before. It makes your heart do a little flip in your chest.

Just as you're about to lead the way back, Sevika suddenly grabs your hand, pulling you back towards her. Before you can react, her lips are on yours.

You were suddenly frozen, till your brain practically yelled, Fucking kiss the hot girl back you dumbass! Your hand immediately slides into her hair, and you respond back to the kiss with the same ferocity.  All the tension that's been building between you tonight finally finds its release. Her lips are softer than you imagined, moving against yours with a passion that takes your breath away.  

But the moment was short-lived when it was cut short by another blaring announcement. 

Sevika breaks away, growling, "I'm going to break that speaker."

You can't help but laugh at her annoyance, the sound bubbling up from the happiness overflowing in your chest. You lean in, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "C'mon, we can continue this later."

Sevika nods, a small but genuine smile playing on her lips. She has that look on her face, that is just so content and full of adoration that your legs practically felt like jelly.

“Race you back to the car, loser has to buy dinner!” You yell as you spirit across the sand.  

You were fortunate enough to get a head start because once Sev realized what was happening, you could already see a blur of her movement closing the distance through the corner of your eye. Your hair whipped wildly in the wind along your combined unadulterated, giddy laughters echoing in the night air.  

With her athletic build, she easily caught up to you but instead of surpassing you, her hand found yours. Her fingers intertwined with yours, fitting perfectly. The warmth of her palm against yours feels like the most natural thing in the world.

You two slowed your pace into an amble, the sound of waves fading behind you. Every so often, you steal glances at Sevika, still hardly believing this night has been real.

When her car comes into view, Sevika gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You turn to look at her, finding her eyes already on you, soft and full of something that makes you unsure of whether this moment was a dream or not.

Sevika tugs you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "We should do this again sometime," she murmurs against your skin. "Minus the getting kicked off the beach part."

You chuckle at the joke and tuck your head into her chest, listening to her heartbeat. Thump. Thump.

"Thank you," she says quietly, her voice a small murmur above your ear, "for making a shitty day end beautifully."

You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. 

"Thank you for finding me."

[seinenkai]

"Cursed Eyes."

Gojo Satoru x Male Reader

Reader is implied as transgender and is seen as a young adult (25yrs old) and he's a vessel. First chapter is taken place in Jujutsu Kaisen 0 The Movie so MAJOR Spoilers. Slow burn probably.

C/TW; transphobia, implied grooming, swear words/cussing.

This is my first (lazy) fic lol. Depends if I'll continue this or nawt.

It was 2017, you were looking out the window out of boredom until you hear someone.

"L/n." Geto called out, beckoning the boy over.

"I told you to call me Y/n. We're close after all, Master Geto." You said as you walked towards Geto, looking at the big grin he had on his face along with the bags under his eyes.

"You call me 'Master Geto', I think it's fair to call you by your last name." He laughed, fixing the Gojo Kesa he wore. You sighed, looking at Geto with annoyance "what is it that you needed?.." you ask as you tilted your head. You see Mimiko and Nanako bickering at eachother, talking about Tokyo.

"Would you like to come to Tokyo with us? See an old friend?" You look at him surprised "...see an old friend?.." you repeated.

Geto nodded, knowing who you both are talking about. "I don't think he'd even like to see us- just what do you mean 'see an old friend'?" You came closer. "It'll be fine, Y/n! We just need to chat with him."

Then you remembered. Getos plan about the war. "Are the others coming?" You raised a brow and Geto nodded "of course. We're a family." He chuckled, walking away.

"We were about to go right now." He says as he pointed at the large pelican. You were grossed out since you had to get inside the pelican. "...maybe after I ba-" Geto cuts you off by taking your hand and dragged you inside the pelican. You sat there with disgust while Mimiko and Nanako comforted you.

"It's fine L/n! It doesn't stink and we were planning to go to the Cafe near in tokyo- the crepes look so good!" Nanako says with a grin. You didn't do anything but nod.

You all were in, flying towards Tokyo. You look at Geto and asked him "...are you gonna meet the Okkotsu boy again?" You asked as you tilted your head back with annoyance "Gojo's going to kill us." Geto raised a brow "I'm sure he won't. Just a little talk that's all."

You landed, getting out the pelican and stood there watching Geto rush towards Yuta Okkotsu. Geto held Okkotsus hand and started blabbering about his little cult and how he should join him and insulting Maki Zen'in.

That all ended when Satoru Gojo walked in along with other jujutsu sorcerers working at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. "Dont tell my students such nonsense, Suguru." Gojo said coldly, his eyes hidden under the white bandages. Gojo grew so much.

Geto smiled, pulling away as Gojo stood infront of Okkoutsu protectively. Your eyes meet with his covered ones and you can't help but look away. "I wanted to declare war." Geto said with a smile. Yaga, Nanami and Meiemi were there but you couldn't spot Shoko anywhere.

"Y/n." Gojo suddenly said. "You're working with Suguru. Actually." He says, making it sound like you were pathetic. You don't say anything back. Gojo and Geto began to bicker. "Mr. Geto! Hurry up! Let's go to the crepe shop!!" Nanako whined, beckoning him over.

Geto smiled at her and turns to Gojo "well, I better get going." He said as he got in and announced the date of the war.

It was soon, in December 24th 2017.

"Master Geto..." you muttered to him as Nanako began taking photos, taking 0.5 photos of you and the others in the Cafe. "Yes y/n?.." Geto looked at you, eating the sweet crepe. You had a strawberry crepe with cream while Geto had one with blueberries. "Nevermind. Nothing. I was gonna ask you something stupid." You say as you take a bite out of the crepe. You felt so stupid.

You began to question things. What if you never betrayed Gojo? What if you never went with Geto? You hate these damn thoughts.

You get a flashback. It's Higanbanas doing.

Your younger self with a older sorcerer, you were close to him. You two always were together talking when you were a child. "Y/n, promise you won't leave me..." Said the older male, caressing your face. You look at him and laughed "leave you? Why? I'm not a grown up yet!" You say with a wide grin and the older man pulled you in a hug. "...I know. But. Nobody will ever love you like this my dear y/n.." He whispered, running his hands through your hair. You look at him confused and nodded. "I know..." you muttered, sitting on his lap.

You stood up, walking away towards the bathroom and Geto gave a confused look as he watched you walk away.

You washed your face in the restrooms sink, looking up at the mirror. "Damn you." You suddenly say, looking at the mirror as you saw the cursed spirit.

Higanbana.

"Quit making me think such thoughts. I don't regret my decision." You glared at her, your left eye turning red when your eye colors are originally e/c. Higanbana pouted, her white hime haircut with the blue streaks in her hair along with the blue spider lily's on her head.

"Stop taking those stupid sorcerer meds! It enhances your strength and you're too damn strong to take over!" She whined, pulling on your cheek.

She was in you, controlling your body but you can see her behind you, through the mirror. "Higanbana please...we already talked about this..." you sigh, turning around and sat on the bathroom floor. You looked down at your chest, lifting open one of the kimono folds to see your bandaged chest, seeing if its tight enough for you to look flat chested. "During the war I'll let you take over." Higanbana smiled, hugging you with a wide sinister grin "for real? You will?" She says and you nodded, walking back to Geto and the others. "Just stop reminding me of the past." You say as you began walking back to them.

December 24 2017.

Your last time seeing Suguru Geto.

Nanako and Mimiko were off somewhere and the others following along with Getos plan. You were assigned to distract and defend, bring paired with Miguel.

You look down and see Gojo dragging his students, Panda and Toge Inumaki and made a sign in the sand, teleporting the first year's back to the school.

Damn.

He found out.

You stood besides Miguel and patted his back, pushing him. "You can go first." You say as you backed away "you'd kill time." Miguel rolled his eyes, hidden under his shades and got down.

You watch the two fight. Miguel was losing and there were curses everywhere. Miguel's whip and Satorus cursed technique were everywhere, destroying almost everything. Gojo slid open the white bandage, revealing one of his blue eyes.

Eventually the fight ends when you blinked and you see Satoru Gojo gone.

Fuck

Where is he?

"Migeul!" You yelled out, jumping off the rooftop to get on the lower one until you see Miguel missing. Damn. You turn around and felt something gripping onto your Kimono. You looked at see Gojo.

He was looking at you right in the eyes.

Where's the bandages?

Where's Miguel?

"Gojo." You say as you tried staying calm. You know you'll die. But that doesn't happen.

Higanbana takes over. Your h/c now having blue streaks with blue marks on your face. Higanbana takes over and instantly aims for Satorus head, attacking him only for it to get blocked by infinity.

"Y/n." Gojo coldly says as he doged the attacks Higanbana gave him, the blue nails you grew being like claws. Why wasn't he attacking? Why wasn't he hurting you? "Satoru Gojo!" Higanbana yelled out, her scream sounding scary.

She controlled your face, a evil grin appearing on your face. She aimed for more attacks and Gojo was about to unleash an attack. You pull away quicker than Higanbana and retreated. You're just like Miguel.

You dissappear, not wanting to fight again since you know that your body's too damn weak to even handle Satorus attack. Nanako and Mimiko were already done with their assigned job and meets up with you.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Called the two, running towards you quickly. "We need to find Master Geto!" Said Nanako and you nodded. "I'll find him I swear-" you say as you tried catching your breath, your kimono folds slipping down to show off your shoulders and the turtle neck like compression shirt. You sat down, catching your breath. You're too weak for this.

So much time has passed and you ran towards jujutsu tech to retrieve Geto. You were out of breath, your chest felt like it was burning along with your sides. You stood ontop one of the roofs, standing above the tiles.

Your eyes widened.

Geto was wounded.

Dead.

You saw him holding his missing left arm and with a bloody body.

You wanted to break down. You wanted to catch him until you saw Gojo. The two seemed like they were talking about something. Gojo crouched down, whispering something to Geto and you tweaked.

"You." Gojo suddenly said, standing up and looked at you. "Y/n." He says as he glared at you, both his eyes bare for you to see. "G-geto...what the hell did you do?" You asked, your voice trembling as you got closer, staring at Getos corpse. You looked at Gojo, your face darkened.

Gojo walked towards you, face to face. The atmosphere was absolutely tense but he didn't have any hostility or danger. But you did.

A vein grew on your face, glaring at Satoru. "Gojo. Tell me what the hell you just did." You say as you got closer. Gojo stays silent, glaring back at you.

"You know why I had to do it." He says as he gets closer. Satoru noticed the blue markings fading in, Higanbana was about to take over your body since you felt weak. Gojo puts two fingers on your forehead and suddenly you felt sleepy. "...Go...jo.." you say as you instantly fall down onto your knees, laying on the dirty floor as Satoru looked down at you.

He'll retrieve your unconscious body later. Right now he has to meet up with his students.

[standupcomedyhistorian]

I've finished reading ALL of Maria Bamford's new book, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult! 🙌🏼

What a fun and fascinating read (and I adored the "recipes" at the end of each chapter). As I had mentioned previously, I do plan to post a review on my website but—for now—please check out my two articles on Maria and her influence on the comedy community:

10 Fun Facts

Bo's Comedy Heroes: Maria Bamford

Happy reading, and keep it here for more comedy fun! ✌🏼🐔

[pryllee]

7 minutes in heaven, or 7 hours.

Blade x AFAB! Reader

Dubcon, stomach bulge, kinda degradation/praise kink, slight mean blade with a sprinkle of softheartedness, cunnilungus/fingering, riding, jealous reader, kinda jealous blade ”ugly body” rejections whatever mentioned in start, hickeys/marking, tit sucking, bit of possessiveness in both so the feeling can be mutual, small breeding kink mention

A/N: I get pretty awkward and cringey while trying to write fuck parts so I hope anyone who reads this finds this good. And maybe I'll make HCs with him taking care of a child next time... If anyone wants that. 🥲

—

As depressed you already were, it already sucked even more with each rejection that slapped you at the face. You slammed the can of alcohol onto the table as Blade just watched leaning his head onto the wall.

"Ugh these fuckin' asses..." You held onto your head annoyed as hell,

"You know, we should be heading back now." He scanned you, before looking away again to try avoid your ’fiery fists’

You complained, slamming a fist onto the table almost making it break. "Oh c'mon don't make it worse than it already is! These idiots have the nerve to call my body unattractive, they might've just had atleast one more kiss before they died, no? Not like they were any better..." Silently whispering the last part.

Your brows furrowed noticing him staring off into the distance, probably at someone. You tried to find the direction he was looking in, and found a pretty girl almost your height, but her curves really showed through that waitress uniform.

A small ’oh’ of disappointment almost escaped your lips, making your eye twitch. "Maybe your right. Lets go." You grabbed the can with half of alcohol left.

Your walking almost felt like you were stomping leaving Blade barely confused, more like unfazed as he found this normal.

—

You noticed the place felt a little lonely, you didn't hear much till you advanced inside further and noticed some of the stellaron hunters and probably new recruits due to some unfamiliar faces along with Kafka on the side and Silverwolf. "Hi, [ Y/N ]. Nice to see you've brought Blade along with you." Kafka smiled as Silverwolf blew gum up, tapping away on her gaming console.

"Whats going on? They playin' spin the bottle?" You pointed drunkly with drool almost oozing out of your mouth. "Hmm...—seven minutes in heaven or whatever." She waved her hand as her back leaned against a pillar.

What is with these people leaning against shit? Just how disinterested really are they?

"Lemme participate." You spoke as you squeezed in a spot in the circle pushing some people aside joining the weird circle formation that felt like a cult. "What about you, Bladie? Won't you join her too?"

"Not interested. I don't really care about those type of feelings." He was about to walk away in the way both of you came, till Kafka offered him something.

"Hmm, I'm sure Silverwolf can secure you some time with her?" Pointing at her as he noticed a little wheel thing that controlled the bottle. "Unless you want her to give herself up to someone else, that is."

He clenched a fist tightly, loosening it quickly as he just also squeezed in a spot opposite of where you are.

He watched the previous can you held be thrown away assuming you already finished it or didn't and just hated the taste now. As the bottle kept spinning for some time, you wondered when it would land on you and choose a decent looking dude. Till it finally did. But then landed on Blade.

Your expression of happiness quickly went away realizing who else it landed on, would he even want to do spicy with you? If anything he'd probably rather do it with that stupid girl he stared at earlier. Maybe I should kill her. Whoops, thoughts got a little offtrack there.

The person on your right was nudging your shoulder to follow Blade in, as you quickly took a glance at Kafka feeling like something was up. And you were right cause something really was up. You followed him in, as he locked the door behind you both.

"So what do we do? Play cards? Or should we find that girls number?" You scoffed in annoyance wondering how the fuck you both even got paired up. Not like he'd find you anything more than friends.

-

You once planned to confess to him but as you were looking for him, you overheard some parts of a ’private’ conversation.

"Bladie, what do you prefer in a girl?" Kafka smiled, asking him. He just looked away as he looked in your direction, it felt like he saw you, but then it felt like he didn't as it really was just an open corridor thing.

"I don't know. I don't care about such things... But probably someone good with a sword and is stronger than me." He mumbled the last part, seemingly unsure of his words infront of Kafka as she'd probably do some weird shit.

"Oh? I thought you liked girls like [ Y/N ]?" She pried. "No... We're just co-workers, shes too bold for me too." He sighed, speaking in a low tone.

Just co-workers? Ha, is he fucking insane? Not even friends... But literal co-workers? You walked away holding onto your broken heart with tears bubbling up a little but you just wiped them away deciding to push your feelings away.

"Hmm... Poor [ Y/N ], seems pretty upset that she thought she was already rejected without the chance to even ask directly..." Kafka whispered in a low tone, glancing in the same direction he looked in previously.

"...Excuse me?" He asked, yet only got a headshake and ’nothing.’ in response. Did ’Elio’ also foresee this? How come Blade wouldn't get to know though? Well I guess he wouldn't need to since it's not related to the Astral Express or Stelle.

—

"Girls number? Who exactly are you talking about?" He asked, making the atmosphere even more awkward. "Oh please, don't act like I didn't see how you stared down that girl with ’beautiful’ curves in that stupid bar." You scoffed, crossing your arms.

"Is this seven minutes in heaven, or seven minutes in hell listening to you complain? And I didn't stare her down. I was just looking at her because ’curves’ were related in the stupid topic. You're the one who just stomped away like a furious little kid." His words hit you hard into the face, "And we aren't dating, I don't see how you're so pissed off about it."

You were practically seething in anger as you just turned around to go through the rooms backdoor to go outside. "And where are you going?" You felt him grip onto your waist, which sent shivers up your spine. "None of your business." You tried to push his hands off yet his grip only tightened even more.

"Blade..– Let go." Your breathing slowly became more and more hitched as the gap between you closed. Suddenly the lights went out and you heard Kafka announce something that made everyone walk away.

"Have fun, you two." Kafka whispered to herself, although she knew you couldn't hear.

"Hm? What happened, Kafka?" Silverwolf confusingly followed her from behind.

His chest pressed against your back, feeling his breathe becoming heavier as his hand slid down to your inner thigh, making you try to squirm out of his grasp almost instantly. "Blade stop—nnh.."

A soft low moan was made out as he caressed your clothed sex, you held onto the door infront of you, "Do you want me, [ Y/N ]?" He whispered into your ear. As short silence filled the room, he spun you around, lifting you up with his arms with your back pressing against the now locked door. "Answer me, you whore."

His eyes bored into yours. Your eyes darted everywhere trying to find a way to escape or somewhere decent to look at. "Whats with the act? How come you're so shy now?" He teased, chuckling, leaning into your lips. His tongue mixing with yours as you held onto him for Aeons sake, digging your nails into his back.

He pulled away with a string of saliva connecting from both of your lips, before leaning back down biting down on your tops button spitting each one out. "Do you really need to destroy my top? I could've just undo it by myself."

This felt like a dream come true, yet you also wished you would just wake up from it, it feels so wrong yet so right.

"Hmm... Can't have a pretty girl like you falling onto the ground now can we?" He held you with one arm now, with the other needily pushing the remains of your dignity away to reveal your chest. Yet another obstacle arised due to your bra. "Shouldn't we...—stop here? I'm sure it's already been seven minutes.." He shook his head, just pushing your bra down.

"Mmh, how cute, you're the one who wanted this for so long yet you're the one who also wants this to stop already." He bit down on your nipple, suckling on it like he tried to milk you,

"Maybe I should breed you with kids so I can suck alot of milk out of you, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?" You moaned softly from time to time, covering your mouth with one hand as the other travelled up his hair,

"Mmngh... I— maybe...nnnh" you whimpered. His mouth was suckling one with one hand cupping the other and flicking at your now hard nipples leaving hickeys. You sobbed out his name softly, "I assume thats a yes? Can't believe how turned on you are when I'm only playing with your tits."

The previous hand that was cupping your boob slid down your pants, pushing it down along with your panty,

"Be a dear and say my name, maybe I'll help with that wetness down there then." His gloved finger ran down your slit, making you shudder,

"blade..." You mumbled

"Can't hear ya."

"Ugh... blade," You looked away embarrassed, your nails again digging into his back.

"Hmm?"

"Oh for Aeons sake, Blade please just fuck me!" You cried out in annoyance, the embarrassment was more than enough.

"Good girl." He lifted you over to a table, laying you on it with you facing him, "Wasn't so hard now was it?" He took his gloves off, pulling your pants off exposing your legs and cunt.

The tension got heavier with the bare cold hitting against your chest and lower half. He aligned two fingers with your hole, slowly pushing it in. "Be gentle—please..." You looked away,

"Mhm... And why should I?" He cooed "Could this be your first time?" You slightly nodded, as he just looked back at your hole, pushing his fingers in deeper forcing a moan out of you; "Ughh..—Blade! Nnh!" You cried, arching your back miserably, it hurt like a bitch yet slowly felt good.

He can't believe he almost gave your virginity up to someone else other than him, the fact you could've been moaning out someone elses name really is annoying.

His fingers thrusted in and out at a painfully slow pace, your walls tightened vigorously and it was so easy for him to access with how wet and slick your pussy already was for him. The pace got faster, with his fingers slightly becoming curled with each passing thrust adding another finger in.

"Fuck! Blade—nngh.. shit..." You cussed out clawing at the table feeling a knot in your tummy loosening, you came all over his fingers making a mess on the table. "Look at what a fucking mess you made, what a slut getting off with my fingers alone." He shoved his fingers down your mouth, onto your tongue,

"Lick it." You moaned softly to try and tease him, along with some sucking. "Ha, maybe I shouldn't have let you cum that easily." He flicked your clit making you yelp a little loudly.

The bulge in his pants was starting to become unbearable, but atleast it's time to actually have some intercourse. He undid his belt, slipping his pants off pulling you closer to him, sitting infront.

You became a tad bolder, holding onto his thigh and with the other hand you held onto his arm. "Sit still, pretty girl." he reprimanded,

He finally slipped his boxers down grabbing onto your ass lifting you up pressing your now dry saliva-ridden tits against his chest slightly with him holding his length, "Uhhm... Are you sure it's going inside of me?" You stared nervously at his length "Yes, and I'll make it fit if you're so worried about that." He spat on his hands, rubbing around it.

"Don't girls usually do that by sucking it?" You ask perplexed, "Mmh... They do, but I'm sure the both of us can't wait to start this fuckfest."

He chuckled again lowly, burrowing his head into the crook of your collarbone kissing it leaving a hickey as he blindly shoved it inside of your hole making your back arch, and tremble. His mouth travelled down again to your nipple, suckling on it and drawing circles around it with his tongue. He stuck his hand in place on your stomach feeling the bulge disappear and appear each thrust he does.

"Fuck—" low moans rolled off your tongue, "... Feels so good, Blade.." He sloppily thrusted inside, trying to find your g-spot, finally noticing you tighten arching your backing vigorously at one of the thrusts, thrusting again making you moan loudly.

"Shh. Do you want someone to hear us?" He shoved a finger in your mouth, spitting onto your tongue making you swallow it. "Such a whore, swallowing my spit so easily." He leaned in for another kiss, mixing saliva together once again sloppily thrusting rolling his tongue around with yours.

His thrusts got faster 'n deeper yet somehow still managed to hit your G-spot everytime, you threw your legs around him, and arms around his neck smashing your lips against him. "Fuck—I'm so close [ Y/N ]... He mumbled lowly with one of his hands travelling down to rub your clit furiously.

You creamed around his cock, liquids dripping down your thighs and his shaft furiously feeling yourself coming closer to your climax. You burrowed your head into his neck, messing his collar up and leaving small hickeys as you bit at him.

"Really what a whore, I can't believe you could've been like this with someone else." His words made you scoff slightly, "Neither can I." Grunts could be heard under his breathe and your moans getting louder and bolder till both of you came at the same time, white liquid filled your womb yet you still felt his length barely softening,

You tightened around him hard you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you, "Mmh.. Not done yet." He whispered, blowing into your ear having reality settle into your very veins.

"Don't tell me you still have stamina..." You said in a tired tone. "I do, infact I still do have enough till morning." He laughed leaving another hickey on your collarbone, biting on it feeling proud of all the markings hes made on you.

—

Light shined through the blinds, quite literally almost blinding you till you realized you have no idea where the fuck you are. You were in some weird house, in someones bed. You got up and noticed you were naked, hurriedly finding clothes to wear.

Till you noticed the closet was full of mens wear, yet you just grabbed whatever looked comfortable and strided out of that room... Which was probably Blades room. You noticed a mirror right when you stepped out, and saw hickeys everywhere on your collarbone and neck. "So it really wasn't a dream..."

"What wasn't a dream?" You saw him appear from the side holding a cup of coffee in different clothes for the first time. "Also you're wearing my clothes. They seem too big for you." He remarked, "Well obviously, I have no idea where the hell you threw my clothes off too and the tops buttons were torn off by you."

"Calm down you two, we don't wanna stir up trouble in this house, otherwise we'll be found out and chased out. Also stop with the love quarreling." Silverwolf sighed also in different clothes. "Okay why is everyone in different clothes for the first time? Am I going insane?" You rubbed your eyes.

"Now we may wear the same outfit for a long time but we definitely wear something else at night to sleep comfortably, thank you." She replied in an ’isn't it obvious?’ tone. Blade just leaned on the wall sipping the cup of coffee.

Silverwolf then seemed to remember something, hurriedly tip toeing over to you, "How was it?" She whispered in your ear. "What? How was what? I don't know what you're talking about." You flushed red running away to find the bathroom.

"The bathrooms the other way." He yelled loudly in an unfazed tone. "I KNEW THAT!!!" You screamed dashing the other way.

"Oh dear Blade... What exactly did you do to her?" "Nothing. Don't go thinking weird stuff about me now." He took another sip of his coffee before following in your tracks to also go to the ’bathroom.’

——

[kaiser-author-san-iii]

Star Light, Star Bright | Fatui Harbingers x (Fem) Creator!Reader

A/N: okay okay. I'm very sorry for this overdue chapter. I've been busy farming for primogems and playing Stardew Valley. I have joined many other fandoms, especially with the release of the Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse movie, and have been collecting the comics. Sue me /j. I have a lot of stories that need updating haha. But anyway, thank you so much for the support you guys have given me. It's fantastic! I'll be sure to continue with the updates whenever possible! Any questions, please DM. Any suggestions, DM me!

Summary: Caring for children is hard, but it's especially harder when around the Fatui. Getting isekaied was the last thing on your mind after landing in the icy tundra of Snezhnaya all while your nephew is with you. What will happen when you encounter not only the Fatui Skirmishers but the Fatui Harbingers?

Tags/Warnings: female reader, Creator!reader, Cult Au, contains spoilers of the Archon Quests and World Quests (read at your own risk)

Not edited or beta read, we die like Signora

Chapter 3 | To Be Aware and Be Prepared

<<<First <<<Last Next>>>

MASTERLIST

OPERA EPICLESE, FONTAINE

It had started as a normal day. As normal as it could possibly get with the centrism of Lady Furina and the citizens of Fontaine. There was a pause before it then burst. At first, it was seemingly unnoticeable, but then the forests and the landscape became livelier. It seemed brighter and adventurers saw a decrease in Hilichurls, and slimes, and even the Abyss Order stopped whatever they were doing to... dance? It was certainly a strange sight, but at least there was less activity where civilians were being harmed. In fact, this was being seen all around Teyvat thanks to the Adventure's Guild insight and informing each nation's current ruling governments and Archons.

The archons themselves felt a different presence. A presence they have felt once upon a time ago. The same could be said with a certain Court Judge of Fontaine, a certain fellow dressed in blue, his long platinum blond hair and stoic expressions, he definitely felt a power he thought wouldn't be seen again in all of Fontaine.

A being almost as old as Teyvat themselves, but nowhere as powerful as the one that gave them life.

Before he could even make a decision as tremendous as the one all nations must follow, he needed more information.

He needed to send out anyone to locate their Beloved Creator.

Neuvilette felt to go himself and search for Them, but he had his duties. He simply couldn't abandon them. He is a powerful figure in Fontaine and everyone would be suspicious of his actions if he were to leave his office. They would be asking questions.

No.

This needed to be done in an orderly fashion.

If they were indeed in Teyvat, they would appreciate a calm and happy welcome instead of chaotic and frantic for their faithful followers.

Himself included as he needed to prove he, and Fontaine, would welcome Them with open hearts.

The Divine Creator... has finally descended onto Teyvat once again.

---

LIYUE HARBOR, LIYUE

The trembling of the mountains. The color in front of him wherever he faced. The weather the past few days was beautiful and the people, especially merchants who traveled through treacherous waters to make it to Liyue were grateful for calm waters.

But he knew of the reason why everything seemed so... calm, so perfect as if Teyvat themselves was behaving its absolute best. Especially with word from other nations that the monsters and even the Abyss Order had ceased their attacks on villages and cities. They had seen these beings celebrate nonstop and were quite stumped about what was happening. But the former Geo Archon knew all too well...

Zhongli, better known as Morax or Rex Lapis, had felt it within the very rocks around him. As a devout believer and follower of the Divine Creator, he was quite familiar with the power and aura They possessed.

It's said that the Sovereign Dragons were the very first to proclaim their loyalty to the Divine Creator and when their time of rule ended, the Archons and Gods followed in their footsteps. As an Adepti in the form of a great Dragon, or Exuvia, he would be loyal to his beloved Creator, a form he greatly prided in thanks to the words of the Divine Creator many centuries ago.

But now they were here.

They have descended at long last like they promised.

His many years of patience and loyalty were finally being rewarded with the very presence of They themselves.

Zhongli, the devout follower he is, must find them. Were they alright? Yes, they were an all-powerful being, but recalling correctly, even the mighty have weaknesses and with the importance of the Divine Creator, there's always a danger no matter how beloved you are. He had to go himself to find him.

No.

He could ask the other Adepti to relentlessly search through all of Liyue, to leave no rock unturned and locate where their Grace may be.

---

ZAPOLYARNY PALACE, SNEZHNAYA

The days have gotten warmer and brighter in Snezhnaya.

What with the presence of the Divine Creator that is. It was all that the Fatui and even the citizens of Snezhnaya were talking about. There was nonstop activity in the palace as everyone scrambled to perfect it all for the Divine Creator.

You.

Though it wasn't as overwhelming since your nephew was right beside you, who happily took everything with stride and awe.

He even became attached to the very people that he spoke with on the first day here. And there was no way to separate them or to even have the heart to tell him not to speak with them since he took after his parents and family. Stubborn little nugget.

He especially favored Childe and Scaramouche. He was quite heartbroken when he left and never came back. But, he has been receiving gifts 'anonymously' once in a while.

Meanwhile, you spoke more with the rest to know more about this world. They all unanimously agreed that the mortal body you and your nephew both have currently is due to the fact of the long absence from Teyvat you had. Since your nephew hasn't set foot in Teyvat until now, it might take him longer to adjust to his birthright powers and titles. But he was nonetheless Heir of Teyvat.

The Little Prince.

"They're working really hard, aren't they?" His voice echoed in the halls as you and him were on their way to play outside yet again. He was still a child and with no video games around, it was good for him to be active. Childe once made comment about how strong he was and what a potential warrior your nephew could be with proper training. However, you had the last say and it was not yet time to think about that.

Snezhnaya is still a cold nation so even with Teyvat making it slightly less cold, you and your nephew had to bundle up. This is where Pantalone's gifts came in handy. While you were still bedridden due to your injuries, he called in all the tailors of Teyvat to create a wardrobe fit for you and your nephew: The Divine Creator and the Heir of Teyvat.

It was a sight to behold all the boxes and bags that arrived at the palace - clothing made from rare beasts and cloth. All for you and your nephew.

"If there's one thing you don't question about other people, Nugget. It's their beliefs. It has a certain power that a lot of people have yet to understand." You commented, stopping to adjust his personal Harbinger Coat. It was one of the few items Pantalone commissioned - with the Heir of Teyvat present, might as well commission a child-sized Harbinger Coat.

"I think Mister Pierro and Mister Pulcinella said something about that. I don't know... it's not our birthdays though. We're just people, aren't we?"

"I'm not certain either. We're a long way from home and it might be a while before we can go back. But don't worry, we're together and that's all that matters. All we have to do is-"

"Go with the flow?"

"Ah. I taught you so well." You laughed, quickly moving to playfully pinch his cheeks before resuming your brief walk outside. Everyone else had their duties and you didn't want to disturb them. They all seemed to be important in the political and military worlds.

That was something that kinda threw you off. Something like this world seemed like in the past. Like maybe 1800's innovative past since there were snipers and even giant mechanical machines that can move on their own or by being piloted. It was definitely fantasy - like a dream.

But even in a fantasy world, with aspects aimed at child entertainment, there is danger. Arlecchino and Columbina were telling you all about it with a brief history lesson and a bit of current information about Teyvat today. It was definitely something to think about if you plan to travel Teyvat with or without the Harbingers, especially with your nephew.

"Your Grace. What a pleasant surprise." The voice was ahead and looking up, you could see the masked man, the Doctor. Dottore was the one who ended up healing you from your injuries from the accident. They never did find the person responsible for your accident. Though they never will.

The healing process went smoothly and tended to you alongside your nephew.

"My nephew wanted to play outside again. He saw everyone was occupied and didn't wish to intrude so we thought we could walk for a bit."

"The Heir has no worries. If he or your Grace has a request, we're bound to stop and fulfill your wishes."

Your nephew didn't need to be told twice and quickly marched his way over to the blue-haired man, took his hand, and started walking to the exit to face another cold day.

"Doctor, please play with Auntie and I."

Dottore was quite the character. The others filled you in on what they have done and their opinions of each other. Dottore was the one with the most negative background but no one could deny the intelligence or genius in his mind. But to think this wasn't even his true form. The man was quite the genius that he made a number of clones of himself of each stage of his life. As a scientist, as a pursuer of knowledge, even the kind that's better left alone, he thirsted for it.

"Of course, Your Highness. Your Grace, would it be troubling to accompany you two?"

He also performed...some experiments that in this world were unethical, from what you heard. But...they weren't the worst. No, there was definitely worse. You weren't justifying what he had done, you weren't one to stand on a higher moral ground than anyone else, you at least attempted to understand why. That is exactly what you concluded when you decided to speak and interact with Dottore.

"Not at all. My nephew has grown attached to you and the others."

The walk outside didn't take long. It was short and slow to appreciate the snowfall and the area around. Various Cryo Crystalflies quickly flew their way to your nephew and he gave chase all while a variety of animals appeared and decided to play with the Heir. Teyvat knew the little Prince's love for animals. You made sure he didn't stray too far, your eyes never leaving his form while Dottore kept the same pace as you, taking a few glimpses at you every now and then. There was a small silence - but it was comfortable.

"Why?" You broke the silence and Dottore turned his head, his mask hiding any expression he could have made.

"Pardon?"

"The Fatui. Why was it formed? I want the truth." Your eyes still focused on your nephew who danced along with the Crystalflies, laughing and happily throwing snow in the air before then falling and making snow angels.

Your reason for asking is with who you two have been identified as, and with a seemingly unknown way of going back home, you two will probably be dragged into this world's politics. Before you get involved, you have to see what it is all about. Would it be worth it? Are you currently with evil people? Misunderstood people? What is their goal?

Would it be dangerous to involve your nephew?

"There is quite a lot that a mere moment is not enough to disclose the Tsaristas and our organization's goal."

"Then I shall listen. I hear talk and before I pass 'judgment', I want to understand. I hear talk of other gods, but the mere mention of them besides the Tsarista, it's with contempt."

Dottore, like many of his colleagues and subordinates, has heard the stories, the creation of Teyvat that was retold by the very dragons they created and had them oversee Teyvat. And then Celestia arrived. They had become power-hungry, drunk from the love and attention the Divine Creator gave to them before. When the creator left, Celestia took over and everything changed. Teyvat became different, peace wasn't an option.

Wars started, innocents perished...

Nations demolished.

"The Tsarista fell in love with the idea of how Teyvat was before you left. A Teyvat where all lived in peace. Then Celestia came. Thousands of years ago, they proclaimed that seven gods would be chosen to rule over one of the seven nations. From the thousands of Gods that fought, along with mortals who fought to survive another day, Seven were indeed chosen to represent their following element. But even for Celestia that was not enough. Your Grace was fond of a nation, Khan'ri'ah. Khan'ri'ah was a nation that ruled without the intervention of a God, an Archon. So.. one day, Celestia proclaimed Khan'ri'ah to be sinners, a nation that went against the Divine Creator and was thus destroyed. The Tsarista understood, her eyes opened to what was being done, and isolated herself, to find people who shared her opinions on Celestia and the Divine besides you, Your Grace."

That was just a brief summary that you recreated after your talk with Dottore. He was quite honest and with a few words, you were able to piece together everything. And to think he was kicked out of the Akademiya because of his practices and the murder of a fellow scholar.

This was clearly a case of the black-white-gray morality.

Things aren't always what they seem.

"Several weeks ago, I thought I was human. A mortal who lived a mundane life who loves her nephew like her own. I'm here and I'm told I'm the God that created your world, but I somehow have no recollection of it."

The walk continued as your nephew seemed to head further away from you and Dottore. Dottore was listening. He knew you weren't done talking and he couldn't wait to hear. Would he hear criticism of the divine from the very being who created it in the first place? What kind of wisdom would she bestow that may rival the God of Wisdom herself.

"Pierro and the Tsarista mentioned that my memories of such events and my divinity would come back to me slowly. Especially for my nephew. He's still young, curious but young."

"Your Grace, you need not fear. The Fatui, us, the Harbingers, will be by your side for we and The Tsarista are loyal to no other than you and the Heir."

"But what if I am not who you think I am?" You asked, looking down at your arms, remembering the injuries and the blood that oozed. You remembered the color and thought it wasn't proof enough, but the gold blood was there. You even requested to see the bloodied gauze that had a clear gold color. The sparkle it held, the amount of power that it had.

"Highly unlikely. Every man, woman, and child knows firsthand that the Divine Creator's blood is unlike any living being in Teyvat. Eyewitnesses from your first time here have written quite a bit of information of you. There is no mistake. The Tsarista would have been the first to know."

"Auntie! Doctor! Look!" Your nephew shouted and quickly ran to you, the heavy atmosphere dissipating as your nephew smiled, his hands cupped to hide what it was that he was bound to show you two. Slowly, he opened his hands and a small light blue glow appeared and in the blink of an eye, a small Cryo Crystalfly appeared and took flight, joining the other Cryo crystalflies that surrounded the three.

Creation of new life.

A power only found in the Divine.

What kind of world did she find herself in?

TAGLIST:

@lizzhearthz, @yoshikuno, @anonclyde, @khalhaimdad, @ellenoir

@yunsblog030, @lsleepysimpl, @potol0ver, @kitty-chan33, @nasidibakar, @yoriichi-second-wife, @lilybythevalley, @esthelily, @liansh3ng, @bubbles-lounge, @chidouna, @okecaiditmemay, @angelofdarkness2, @emmbny, @vxsire, @mmeatt, @fybfjn, @nickey-diano, @reende-29,

If I missed anyone, let me know! I tried tagging some people, but tumblr must be weird. I probably will be posting this on Ao3 too. Thank you so much for your kind words, everyone! I hope to write more!

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

Vampire's Kiss | Chapter One

Pairing | Vampire!Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 3,7k

Warnings | +18, hate and prejudice about vampires, mentions of blood and sex

⤷ Summary | Humans have finally unveiled and accepted the centuries-old existence of vampires, in a modern world people share their lives with these peculiar and mysterious creatures, but it is not all roses.

Will two souls belonging to such different species be able to be together?

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! ❤️ This is the first chapter of Vampire's Kiss, please let me know if you like the story, it would be really good for me! 🥰💜

Taglist: @katherine-kookie

Taglist is open!

Chapter List - Next

"Do you know what happens when a vampire invites you out?" You roll your eyes, aware that Mirae is not yet finished with her rant, "Let's hear it, what?" "You never come home and are found in a forest, hanging from a tree, drained," was her solemn reply, she looks at you with stern eyes from behind the thick lenses of her glasses, you smile at her vivid imagination. "Sis, you know that we now live in a society where vampires are accepted by everyone and drink only donated blood, yes?" her frown if possible deepens more. Vampires for a few years now have been leading a healthy lifestyle for everyone, they no longer attack the living, and to have more control over their actions the government sends to their homes every two weeks a bag of blood from the donor they have chosen based on blood type, otherwise they can support themselves by eating the same food as humans, especially undercooked meat. It came to such a condition after all the bloody clashes that took place, both humans and vampires found themselves tired of fearing they would not make it to the next day, so the current arrangement had been arrived at that allows you to coexist without too many problems. Unfortunately, there is always someone who does not accept the new way of life, and your younger sister is one of those someone, she does not trust vampires.

"They're just waiting to come back as strong as they used to be, then they'll start to see us as tasty blood bags again," she hisses, glancing evilly at the page you opened from the PC. This is a dating site for vampires, from which many mixed couples have also sprung. Your best friend for example was happily married last year to her boyfriend, a vampire she met through this very site. You've met him, Shawn is just the sweetest guy and doesn't deserve the derogatory designation of "bloodsucker," as Mirae enjoys calling him instead whenever your best friend video chats with you and is with him. "You hang out too much with those extremist freaks on campus," you look at her harshly; she had joined a crazy group two years ago where they preach hatred of vampires, and she has totally changed since then. She is young and easy to be influenced, you just hope she doesn't go too far. You've tried to convince her to drop that subspecies of a cult, but her crush on the Leader of the Muggles is stronger than common sense, "And now I'd like some privacy!" "I don't want a vampire brother-in-law, I'll never accept that!" she exclaims in turn, before walking out slamming the door to your room, you feel the strong urge to yell insults at her, but you restrain the urge and refocus on the still active web page.

Many faces are silently watching you, and there's no denying that each one is fascinating in its own way, but you don't feel any chemistry, nothing that makes you say, "That's him!" so you go on searching for at least another hour, but still nothing. You could simplify things, date human guys who would surely be easier to find around, after all you've already done that and had a great time, but there's something about the idea of getting bitten that appeals to you. You've read around that vampires like to consume blood during sex, this happens mostly between couples, at that moment it's not just feeding, it's a kind of connection that goes on on both sides, a level of intimacy that provides an almost painful pleasure, you definitely want to try it to satiate your curiosity, and maybe you'll even find the right man for you. Ellen, your best friend, even hinted at some things, but she never went further with the details because it is something too personal to tell, she didn't even explain to you how she - human girl - shared the experience with her boyfriend, since then your brain has never stopped thinking about it for a moment.

You wearily squint your eyes deciding to end your search for the time being, you are tired and certainly cannot waste any more precious hours of rest, your job as an assistant is hell, especially when you have a disgusting caricature of a menstruating man for a boss. "Honey, it's ready!" you hear your mother shout from the kitchen. You haven't lived with your parents for a long time, but every now and then you take a little break to visit them, the only bad thing about these meetings is your younger sister of course. You put on your shoes and walk to your bedroom door, heading to the kitchen, where you find your mother preparing dishes for her meat and potato stew, your mouth is already watering! "Mom..." you look at her with affection, you adore your mom, she cooks like a god and is always understanding, the sweet woman who raised you always knew what to say at the right time and also knew how to measure her words, unlike your father who is a little more like Mirae character-wise.

"Take a seat, come on! Otherwise the food will get cold," she says kindly, patting you lightly on the back, you follow her order and sit to the right of your father, who is staring at the television with a grim expression, his reading glasses hanging from the bridge of his nose, almost following his mood. "Something wrong, dad?" "Another dead body, this time a man at a gas station, not a trace of blood in his body... not a drop," he mutters, you tighten your lips. You know what he'll say next, he doesn't trust vampires. "You know they're not all the same, dad... Tomorrow you'll hear about a human man who killed his employer, don't forget that our kind commits evil deeds too." "But our government helps them! They want live prey, not a sterile bag!" you try to reply, but promptly Mirae comes to her father's aid in his words, contributing to that stifling closed-mindedness. "Dad's convinced too, see?" your sister raises her nose up in a saccharine manner and your stomach clenches, suddenly losing your appetite. Your mother arrives at that moment with steaming plates in the tray, you sigh intercepting her glance, and yes, maybe in such cases it's better not to say anything else.

"You sent the message to Park Jimin, yes? The one where I ask him if he can ask his boss to agree to a dinner to get us on the same page regarding the compatibility of our companies, yes?" You stare at your boss's sweaty face with a smile, even though inside you are screaming. Maybe it's middle age or the fact that his wife left him demanding maintenance, the fact is that he has become more paranoid and oppressive over the past year. "Mr. Kim, I have already contacted Park Jimin and he indicated that he would give me an answer shortly," the man nods, relaxing a bit. The life of the company depends on this agreement, you know. If Kim Seokjin had incorporated your boss's small business then it would have saved you from the broken bank, and as a result your salary would have been even more substantial, but you don't put much hope in that. As mentioned, you are on the brink of the broken bank, which means your efforts do not pay off, so why should Kim Seokjin accept it? In the company where you work you are a bunch of suburban writers and journalists, your magazine is old stuff now. The only way to save everything is to assign you to something else, something your boss evidently never thought of in order to get you up and running again.

"... - it's a crazy thing that a vampire would go to such lengths!" the old man finishes, you realize you haven't been listening to anything at all, but from the last sentence you got the gist of it.

Yes, Kim Seokjin is a vampire, and yes, he goes out in the daytime to have his picture taken with yet another model hanging on his arm.

Vampires can be in daylight, the sun gives them mild eye irritation, which is why - particularly in summer - they use sunglasses, but otherwise no problem, they live like normal humans, just with a little more sunscreen.

And your boss is tremendously envious of all that is Kim Seokjin.

But if you want to hold on to your job you need to talk to Jimin, you've known him since college, he was dating one of your friends at the time and fit in very well in your friendship group, despite being the only non-human present, even when he broke up with your friend he made it clear that he wanted to remain your friend, but you didn't see each other as often as you would have liked.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" you almost jump out of your chair at the lighthearted voice of your colleague, Valentine.

You cast her a suspicious look, "What do you mean?"

Her pretty face breaks into a wide grin, but to you it was like seeing a fox sneer.

"That dating site, right? Vampire's Kiss! Do you know they even made an app out of it? That Kim Seokjin is really a monster of genius."

"Kim Seokjin?" you ask with confusion, has he now also put his hand in the area that was in charge of relationships? Your colleague squints.

"You've been visiting Vampire's Kiss for a week and never wondered who came up with it and put it within everyone's reach?" you arch an eyebrow, of course you didn't know, you're interested in more than just that site! Users signing up for example, not its developer, "Ah! Forget it, just answer me!"

The temptation to tell her to go to hell makes your lips tingle, but you finally respond with a polite smile.

"I haven't found anything yet, actually."

"Take any one, they're all the same."

You widen your eyes, "How?"

Valentine moves her hand hastily, "Vampires, they're all the same! Take any one for experience, they all have the characteristics we're looking for," she says, as if it were obvious you were looking for someone just for fun and nothing else.

But you are not like that, you have enough failed relationships behind you precisely because every one of your partners was looking for that, fun. And you're fed up, you want a healthy, real relationship, not something to try one night stands.

"I don't want just anybody, and I'm not just talking about sex... I'm looking for a relationship actually."

Without warning she bursts out laughing, soundly even. Gritting your teeth, unnerved by her behavior, she recovers for a moment wiping away imaginary tears, "You can't be serious! Vampires were not created for humans, they don't see life the way we do, the most we can do with them is to experience some fun things, but then each to their own way," she says using a cute tone, as if she's looking at a little girl who lives on dreams.

"I'm happy to see things differently from you," after answering her that way you go back to your horrible job, earning a resentful look from her.

"Look it's not just me saying this, a friend of mine recently broke up with one of those guys there, she got dumped" she mutters, you sigh.

"Has the thought ever crossed your mind that we are not all the same? You don't have to rely on other people's experiences, start making your own instead."

Maybe you've been too harsh, so you turn to apologize to her, well, you're sorry you used a brusque tone just because you don't like her way of thinking, but you catch her fixing her lipstick quietly, even sending a flying kiss to her own reflection, you narrow your eyes and refuse to talk to her again. You have better things to do than to listen to ignorant, self-absorbed people.

You rather concentrate on the speech you are writing for your boss, it must be ready before 3 p.m. and without that he would not have been able to say a single word during the meeting with the employees. How such a man has managed to run the show so far you still cannot understand, the secretary before you must have been a saint.

"Ah, Yoongyu asked me how things are going for you here in the office, if you're finally getting along well," Valentine casts you a mischievous glance, "Have you two been getting very close lately?"

More than you can brag about.

You shared a brief but intense acquaintance with Yoongyu on the physical plane. You both had a good time, you were the newcomer and he was the director of the company, he was second only to the CEO so you were totally reliant on his guidance, and just in one of those moments where you felt totally lost at work, he asked you out to dinner. You accepted without a second thought, you liked him, he had subtle dark fox eyes and a charming smile, but your relationship didn't last long. You wanted different things, you a stable relationship and he just a friend to share the intimate sides of a relationship with.

Things were over rather quickly, and now you were enjoying a good friendship.

"We're friends, that's all," she rolled her eyes, as if she believed very little of your words.

"Listen to me, give up your vampire hunting, Van Helsing and find an easy romance to live with."

You don't answer her, the vibration of a new message teases your attention, and you pick up the phone.

From: Sweet Jimin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Baby, are you there? 🥺

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You smile spontaneously once you read the sender, Jimin writes to you often using that term, he always treats you like a little sister and for that you are grateful, he is one of your best friends and maybe that is the very reason why you can see vampires as to normal people, just like you.

From: You.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Does my lovely vampire

needs a hand?

🥰

━━━━━━━━━━━━

From: Sweet Jimin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

I always need a hand, baby 😏

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You roll your eyes and take care to point it out, always without stopping giggling. An outside person would have found your chat wacky, you are not together and yet you allow yourselves to flirt a little playfully, but you both know that there would only be mutual affection between you and nothing more driven.

From: You.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

━━━━━━━━━━━━

From: Sweet Jimin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Ouch!

That's how you hurt me 😥

But okay though, don't get mad....

But I would need you to do me a favor 💜

Meet me downtown for coffee?

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You cannot deny him help; you know it as well as he knows it.

From: You.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Mh. Okay.

What time? A suitable time for me.

Possibly.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

From: Sweet Jimin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You are my angel!

Later around 5pm would be perfect!

I love you, baby ❤

━━━━━━━━━━━━

It would have been nice to find someone to chat with using lots of adorable emoji, someone to call "boyfriend" while smiling like a fool.

You tighten your lips, Jimin always gives you too much hope, he is adorable and always expresses himself sweetly to you, who are a loser to the fullest extent. Consequently, you always think that if someone like Jimin loves you, why shouldn't you hope for more? That's what always rubs you the wrong way.

You are both sitting comfortably outside the café, Jimin sips his coffee absentmindedly, you have chosen a milkshake with chocolate and hazelnut.

You see him search his pocket for something and once he finds it he lays it on the coffee table, it is a completely black bottle with an airtight cap, you raise an eyebrow in his direction and he smiles at you with one corner of his mouth slightly more raised than the other.

"Ever seen a vampire correcting his coffee?" he asks amused, you simply shake your head.

"You are the only vampire I have relations with and you have never done so in my presence."

He tightens his lips and pours a generous dose of the scarlet liquid into his cup, the action doesn't bother you all that much ... but it leaves you intrigued.

"I need it to calm me down a bit, the last period hasn't exactly been the best."

Now that you get a better look at him, his usually pinker lips are now tending to pale, as if he has stopped hydrating, and his eyes are more glazed over.

"Not getting enough rest, Jimin?" but he denies it with his head.

"Problems with my parents, actually ... That's why I need your help."

A shiver goes down your spine, you know Jimin's parents, they are very stiff and composed vampires, the one time they saw you, they didn't look very happy.

"Jimin, I don't think your family likes me," you flinch uncomfortably, the boy immediately takes your hand, there is panic in his eyes.

"Please, I wouldn't ask you if it was just a trifle! You can save me."

You stand for a moment shocked by the desperation in his voice, even his magnificent dark eyes shine in despair.

You take a deep breath, already knowing that you will regret everything.

"Okay...but remember that you have to help me with the matter of my company, I risk losing my job without the agreement, Jimin."

He nods, "Jin is a very good friend of mine, I'll take care of it."

"I don't know what I'll have to help you with, I just hope I don't end up bleeding to death or worse," you say jokingly, but when he doesn't return your laughter your heart tightens.

His grip on your hand strengthens, "I won't let anything happen to you, baby."

The fact that he did not deny those possibilities unnerves you and not a little, what are you getting yourself into? Jimin has been in the world longer than most humans, so why the hell would he need the help of a mere human like you?

You bite your lip absentmindedly, maybe you're just wrapping your head around it before you break it.

"All right, but could you inform me?"

The boy takes a breath, "My parents are peculiar, old-fashioned dare I say it... they come from an era when arranged marriages flourished like chocolates in a chocolate factory, and now that I have reached a high level in business, they demand that I marry and in truth they have already chosen for me," he begins to explain, as he speaks your mouth opens wide, "But I already have a girlfriend and I love her! She is a vampire, but she doesn't boast a rich family like mine, so they immediately set her aside in favor of a woman I know, but I don't like her."

And again... what exactly can you help with?

"Jimin, I still don't understand... how am I supposed to help you?"

"Jin is throwing a party to announce his official engagement, what I ask is for you to pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my parents."

It's official, you need an ambulance. And urgently, too.

"Y-You are crazy! Your parents hate me just because I breathe their own oxygen, how can you propose such a thing to me! Besides, don't you already have a girlfriend? Use her!"

Okay, you're panicking and you see the corners of your vision darkening, you need to calm down. Jimin gets up and waves to a waiter to bring some water, then tries to take your hand back, but you escape from his grasp.

"Honey, calm down ... the thing is ... I'm sorry to tell you like this," he babbles, you shake your head quickly and try to stand up, but his hands go to rest on your shoulders, consequently pushing you back into the chair, "My parents can't stand humans, to them they reflect the worst of the worst!" he blurts out, and you shoot lightning and thunderbolts from your eyes.

"Exactly, you idiot!"

"That's why you're perfect! If I introduced you to everyone as my girlfriend, threatening to marry you in front of all the other vampires -- at the cost of losing my inheritance -- my parents would start reconsidering my real girlfriend to avoid the scandal of such a statement! Between a human and a vampire of humble origins, who would be the lesser evil for them?"

You bite your lips harder and when the water comes, you begin to drink it quickly.

Unfortunately, the reasoning squares all too well, Jimin is an only child and the Parks cannot afford to lose him, they would never accept a vampire girl of impure blood and even penniless, but a human is something intolerable for vampires like them.

"To say in front of the elders that you will marry a human woman would be ... a disgrace, and would cast shame on your family, who to avoid this ... outburst of yours,  would immediately accept the other option through this blackmail of yours," you murmur with your heart in your throat, Jimin nods slowly.

"They don't mind if I 'use' human women for sex, as long as they don't go to taint our bloodline."

You close your eyes, undecided about what to do.

You're fucking scared, his parents creep you out, but it's Jimin. With your heart clenched in a vice, you nod.

"It's just one night, right?"

"Just one," he assures you.

[silent-stories]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

Pairing: Eddie x GN!Reader (reader is called "sweetheart" but there are no pronouns)

Summary: three times Eddie called you "sweetheart"

Warnings: blood, angst, fluff, cutting animals in biology class.

The first time he called you by that petname, you were both in class, during a slightly unusual biology lesson.

Eddie entered the classroom as if the lesson hadn't started ten minutes earlier and greeted the teacher with a nod and a smirk, as if he were a friend of hers.

In response the teacher rolled her eyes and continued to explain how you were supposed to open and analyze the different organs of the frogs in front of you.

Eddie scanned the class for a moment before his gaze fell on the only open seat that day, which happened to be the one next to you.

He plopped down on the chair with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest before glancing at the dead animal on the desk in front of him with a disgusted face that made you chuckle.

"What?" He asked harshly without even turning towards you, as he took off his leather jacket and leaned it against the back of his chair.

The spring light that filtered through the windows of the classroom illuminated his skin and, observing him closely as you have never done before, you noticed for the first time that there were many small freckles on his nose and that the bat tattoo on his arm wasn't as perfect as it looked but faded and uneven.

"Is the cult leader disgusted by a little dead animal?" You laughed.

"Hellfire is not a cult." He grunted.

"Oh, I know." You chuckled and he finally looked up at you when he realized you were just joking and not remotely serious.

A smirk appeared on his lips just before the teacher called you back for being distracted and chatting and he went back to staring at the frog.

"And that's what you have to do with its stomach." She explained by taking a small knife in her hand and opening the animal. "If you think you can't do it, you can ask a classmate for help. I'll give you a few minutes and then I'll explain what you have to do with its heart, okay?"

In the following moments, you worked on your from like the rest of the class but out of the corner of your eye you couldn't help but keep following the hesitant movements of Eddie who, at that point you were sure, he had never held a knife except to cut his lunch.

It was so weird to think that the boy the whole school thought made sacrifices in his cult couldn't even cut a frog's stomach.

"Eddie."

"Mh?" He suddenly lifted his head, some curls falling over his face.

"Do you want me to... open your frog?"

Eddie stared at you for a moment and then against your expectation he burst out laughing with his head thrown back and some cute dimples springing up his cheeks. "Please, do it, sweetheart. I think I'm going to throw up."

You shook your head with a half smile on your lips before grabbing his frog and using your knife on its stomach, feeling his gaze on you as you did.

The nickname he used had a strange effect on you that you couldn't quite explain but you felt something different for the first time in the pit of your stomach.

Eddie, on the other hand, was already thinking he was head over heels for you.

The second time it happened at the Hideout, after months of you starting to consider Eddie your friend and when he saw you opening the door of the bar he thought he was hallucinating but no, he wasn't on drugs.

"Hey, I...I didn't think you were actually going to come."

"Well, I told you I would come." You laughed as you sat down on a stool at the bar as Eddie nodded to Gareth, as if to tell him he'd be joining the rest of the band soon.

"Well, I thought you were joking or something like that." He said scratching the back of his head.

"Why would I to do that?" You chuckled.

"I don't know... people do that to me a lot. Nevermind, you look really good tonight by the way. Like... yeah, really good." As always, when he wanted to pay you a simple compliment, he lost the ability to formulate a sentence with any sense.

A voice from the stage caught your attention. "Edward Munson, could you please get your ass here and stop trying to flirt? You are terrible at it, by the way." Gareth announced into the microphone.

You laughed, hiding your face in your hands for a moment in embarrassment. "Thanks. I think... I think you should go."

"Disgusting!" Gareth commented into the mic, his eyes fixed on you, making some people laugh around the not too crowded local.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "See you later, okay Sweetheart?"

You nodded but when he had already turned away you spoke again. "You look good with eyeliner by the way."

The only comment received was a "bleah!" coming from Gareth.

Eddie hoped you didn't notice how much he blushed as he went on the stage.

The third time happened after the Upside Down, after Master of Puppets, after the demobats, after the screams, the tears and the blood.

The room was quiet. Too quiet. Painfully quiet. You were scared that if either of you said something, you would burst into tears.

There were blood stains on the floor and in the sink.

Eddie was sitting on your bathroom counter, upper body bare before you, and covered in wounds. You stood in front of him, carefully tending to each bruise, cut, and bite that he’d gotten.

Even at that moment, knowing that he was okay, and would recover, you were riddled with fear. You couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened, and how you had been only moments away from loosinf him, from finding him dead.

With horrible images forming in your mind, your hands tremble as you continue wiping the blood off of his skin, when he hissed in pain and flinched away from you, you quickly retracted your hand.

“I'm sorry.” You didn’t want to whisper, but you couldn’t seem to speak any louder, your voice strained and every word seemed to physically hurt to.

“It's okay.” Eddie assured you, offering a small smile. You just nodded slowly, then turn on the faucet, rinsing the bloodied washcloth with warm water just as you’d done once already.

Tears formed in your eyes, and you founf it harder and harder to hold them back by the second. As you turned of the water and began to wring out the wash cloth, you looked at Eddie. That was you broke, and the tears spilled from your eyes.

He leant his head against yours, pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of your head. “Hey, talk to me." He murmured gently rubbing your back with his hand.

You were almost shaking, trying to gather yourself enough to speak.

"I don’t want to lose you," you confessed, pausing to inhale shakily. “I was so fucking scared when you cut the rope. I mean, I really felt sick, Eddie. I don’t know what I would have done if we didn’t get to you in time and God, i just..." you paused, sighing. “I love you so fucking much,” you murmured, other tears beginning to fall from your eyes.

Eddie stayed quiet for a moment, processing your words. However, when he felt your tears on his skin, he gently cupped your cheeks to make you look at him. “you didn’t lose me, though,” he assured you, his voice also shaking now. “I'm right here, aren’t I?” He asked, pressing his forehead against yours. Slowly, you nodded.

That was the moment you both realized how close you were to each other, how little space there was between your mouths and that you wanted that space to be even smaller, to disappear.

"Sweetheart." He breathed.

This time it was almost like a warning, it was almost like he was telling you not to. Like he knew being with him was some sort of a curse and he didn't want you to go through what he's been through in his life. Like he was afraid that if you kissed him at that moment then it would be too late to tell you to turn your back and run as far away from him as possible, that he only brought trouble and nothing good ever came with him.

"Eddie, I love you." You repeated looking into his eyes. His dark and still fearful pupils seemed to tell you "don't do it".

But his heart said something else. And his heart always chose you.

"I love you too."

He kissed you first.

Or at least, that's what he believed but he wasn't very sure in reality. It was as if he understood that you weren't afraid to be with him at the same time that you understood that he wanted you too and you attracted each other's like magnets.

His lips were soft, more than you expected or ever imagined but he also tasted like blood.

A flavor that shouldn't have been there but that didn't make you pull back.

You cupped the back of Eddie's neck and his hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"You will be okay. We will be okay." You whispered when you broke kiss in need of air.

He stayed silent for a brief moment. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Tags: @jacklesdeanvessel @morning-sky7 @pipsqueakkitten @navs-bhat @michaelfuckinglangdon

[wordstome]

now that we don't talk

I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost Now that we don't talk

alpha colonel König x beta ex-lover reader

2nd person, no y/n, she/her pronouns, reader's callsign is Eden, reader speaks French, omegaverse, exes to lovers, fraternization

2.2k words

tw: none

I swear to God one day I'll write something that doesn't involve that big hooded freak. But today is not that day.

Shoutout to loganlermanstanaccount here on Tumblr, who I won't tag. The bullet point headcanons with written parts interspersed format is from their excellent college roommate Miguel O'Hara post, which became their fic Rigor Mortis. I highly recommend both!

Also, excuse the absolutely butchered military content. I'm sure none of this is how it works in real life, but alas, this is fanfiction, not a research paper. Reader serves a Laswell-like role, but I refrained from labeling her as CIA even though I do call her a station chief. For the purposes of this fic, she's the voice in the operatives' ear during ops. We're playing a bit fast and loose with the terminology here.

You’re a highly skilled intelligence agent and operative handler.

You’ve spent most of your life dedicated to your career: moving through the ranks, proving yourself, refusing to let anything stand in the way of your ambitions.

You’ve done some things you aren’t proud of, but always for the right reason. Or the reason that made the most cold, logical sense. Even when your heart tells you otherwise. Nobody in this line of work has clean hands, after all.

You’ve always done what needs to be done. For everyone’s best interest.

Today marks the first day of your collaboration with a PMC called KorTac. You’re hunting down a homegrown cult turned out-of-control terrorist cell.

You haven’t had much experience working with mercenaries, but in terms of hardened war criminals, KorTac’s people are quite well mannered.

Not that you had expected them to be rude and discourteous, but, well. You are an outsider. They haven’t necessarily embraced you, but their reception was nice enough.

You’ve got a meeting with their commander, but you can’t quite find the room you’re supposed to be meeting in. Not a great first impression to make, but luckily, someone takes pity on you.

He introduces himself. Korean. Callsign Horangi.

“You’ll get used to the layout of the base,” he says as you follow him through winding hallways.

“I hope so,” you reply. “I’ll be here for a while." You study the walls, the signs and numbers on the doors, trying your best to memorize everything.

"Do you know your commander well?" you ask. You're not the world's biggest fan of small talk, but you may as well know what you're walking into.

"König? Yeah, we've been close ever since he joined up." Horangi says, leading you into a long hallway. "He's a good guy. A little intense, but don't let that get to you. He's just getting the job done."

"We'll get along if he's competent." You can respect a man who forgoes pleasantries for making sure the shit gets shoveled.

"You don't have to worry about that." Horangi stops and holds the door open for you. "After you."

You study him for just a moment before entering the room. He's curt and to the point. Not bad-looking, either. Hopefully you'll get more chances to—

Your heart nearly stops.

KorTac's commander is facing away from the doorway, shuffling through some papers by the looks of it. But you would know him from any angle. The set of his shoulders, the way his stance is at ease but never truly relaxed, the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck.

You have to force yourself to step into the room. And when you do, he turns around.

You're vaguely aware of Horangi stepping around you to get into the room, but that's happening somewhere far away from the headspace you occupy right now. By the way König's eyes widen as they meet yours, he's in the same place too.

He hasn't aged so much as he's gotten more tired. He never did sleep enough, but now he looks like he hasn't gotten a sound night's rest in a long time. He's put-together, but there's a haggardness to him that probably wouldn't be noticeable to anybody but you. Someone who knew him when he was younger, and in the prime of his life. Someone who used to know every scar on his body, every crease of his brow, and now hasn't seen him in more than a decade.

The man who broke your heart stands on the other end of the room, staring at you as if he's seen a ghost.

The two of you stand there for a while before Horangi's voice shakes you back to reality. "Brought the station chief, sir."

"I...see." König—you suppose that's what he calls himself nowadays, the arrogant prick—clears his throat. "Thank you, Hong-jin."

"No problem." Horangi takes a seat. "The others will be in soon."

Horangi seems like a perceptive enough guy. Can he tell that the room feels several degrees colder? You pull a chair out, the furthest one from König's position possible, and ignore the hurt that briefly flashes across his face as you sit down.

The meeting goes well. It's just an opportunity for you to formally introduce yourself to the KorTac operators you'll primarily be working with for the next few months.

You can tell they're a close knit group by the easy way they interact with each other: they've worked together for a while.

König, too, is part of them, which must be how they pick up on the chilly dynamic between the two of you. Some of them are just puzzled. For most of them, it raises their hackles.

It doesn't matter to you. You can barely focus on getting through the meeting without feeling like you're going to faint.

It's absurd. You're not some delicate Regency-era lady. You're a hardened military officer. But it makes no difference.

It doesn't matter how long it's been, it seems. He's still the only one who can make you feel like this.

You can't get out of there fast enough after the meeting has concluded. Not only are the others shooting you suspicious looks, but you've spent too long in his presence. Any longer, and you don't know how you're going to keep your composure.

But you can't escape him. Of course not. Why did you ever think otherwise? You hear him call for you, and you walk faster. But it's futile.

This hallway is smaller, narrower, less open. Nobody's around to watch when he slams you against the wall to stop your hasty retreat. Nobody's around to see the way you sway in his hold, overwhelmed by the smell of him all around you. You're bathed in it, the overpowering presence of him.

"We need to talk." he demands.

"We just did. Meeting's over," you shoot back, making a paltry attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. He loosens his hold on you, but you're still trapped between him and the wall. No exit.

"I didn't plan this, in case you're wondering."

"That much was obvious." He's let his hair grow out longer, you notice at the most inopportune time possible. It suits him, you think.

He sighs in frustration. "If we're going to work together, we have to be civil."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't expose how much of a scoundrel you are in front of your precious squad," you bite.

You feel a twinge of smug satisfaction as regret settles into his expression. Too little, too late.

"I don't want it to be like this, either," he murmurs. "Ignoring and avoiding each other."

"You don't get to tell me how to act."

"You're right. But it's been a long time. Can't we try to get along? Not for my sake, but...yours."

"Well that's not condescending at all."

"That's not what I meant. I know my team. If you're walking around resenting me openly like that, they won't trust you. And they need to, if you're working with us."

He's right, and you know it. But there's that deep instinct inside you, older than your bloodline, waking up after a long slumber. It wants him, snapping at the bit to give into him and do whatever he asks of you. The urge will consume you if you don't fight it every step of the way.

You glare up at him, hoping you come off as brimming with resentment instead of desire. "As long as you and your team stay professional, I can too."

He's not satisfied with that answer, but it's all you're going to give him.

"Fine." He steps away from you, and you pour all your willpower into commanding your body to stay still. To not chase after his closeness. You sway on the spot, dizzy with his scent after having gone so long without it.

"This hallway is a dead end, by the way."

You try, you really do. But it's hard to be around him without feeling the urge to touch him, to press yourself against him and inhale him like the most destructive drug possible.

Your only recourse is to stay as physically far away from him as possible.

You do your best to ingratiate yourself with the other operators. You and Calisto are fast friends: she's got a breezy confidence to her that's quite refreshing. It also doesn't hurt that you speak French, as well. There's a bit of kinship felt whenever the two of you are holding a conversation none of the others can understand.

Horangi's a different story, though. The initial courtesy he showed you is a bit more clipped, now that it's clear something is up between you and König.

You can't believe you missed it the first time, the way König's smell is all over him. It really has been too long.

The two of them must be pretty close. You give up trying not to fixate on the idea.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but you were curious. Even more curious when you hear your name mentioned.

"It's pretty clear you and Eden know each other. None of us are stupid."

You freeze in your tracks. The door is closed, but you can hear Horangi's voice, loud and clear in the room behind it.

"It's not relevant. She's just here to do a job."

"I think it's pretty relevant that she gets up and leaves whenever you enter a room, regardless of what she's doing. She can't get away from you fast enough."

You give a surreptitious look at your surroundings, then lean down slightly, pressing your ear to the door.

"You're not going to give this up, are you?"

"Hell fucking no."

You hear König sigh. "Fine. We knew each other before I joined KorTac. Back when I was in the Jagdkommando."

Do you want to hear this? Your painful history, relayed to a near stranger? Horangi's not a stranger to him, that's for sure.

"And?"

"We were...involved."

"You and a beta? Never took you for the type."

"Well, neither did I. But she was...special. Smart, pretty, deadeye with a knife. Wouldn't give me the time of day, of course. I was obsessed with her."

"Naturally."

"Give me a fucking break, okay?"

"Can't wait to hear how this ended."

"Not...great. I was a total dick."

You can say that again, you think.

"I was young. Real dumbass who thought he was hot shit."

"You still aren't."

"Shut the fuck up." Something twinges inside you at the hearty laughter the two of them share. You missed that laugh.

"Despite everything, it was the most stable relationship I've ever been in. We looked out for each other. She knew me better than some of my family does."

"How did you fuck that up, then?"

"I got too comfortable. Started thinking I could do better. God, what a fucking idiot I was. I loved her like crazy, but I didn't realize how good I had it until it was gone."

"She left you?"

"No. I was the one who ended things. In the worst way possible, too. I told her the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere, that we were never going to be a serious thing."

"Ouch. Why not?"

You squeeze your eyes shut. You remember that night, like a shard of glass buried in your chest. As hard as you tried to forget, you'll never forget the way you felt. Like the world was ending.

You'll never forget the decision you had to make.

"I told her I couldn't see myself with a beta long-term."

"...that's fucked up."

"I know. I know. I was too caught up in that shitty macho alpha mindset. I was fucking ravenous back then, and I thought only an omega could give me what I needed."

"I get it now. If I were her, I would have quit on the spot seeing you in that meeting room."

"Yeah. She's a better person than I can ever imagine being."

Well. It's nice to know he regrets it, you think. Not that it does you much good now. Quiet as a mouse, you make a quick exit before you can get caught.

You make it back to the the room you've been assigned to. They were nice enough to give you your own private quarters, something you deeply appreciate when you need to be alone with your own thoughts. Like right now.

It's a strange feeling, to sort of get closure like this. Not at the end, but at the beginning of something new. You still have to see each other. Does it help that you know how he feels? Maybe, but it doesn't ease your own guilt. In fact, it makes it worse.

You're not mad at him for telling Horangi. You're glad he did, actually. There are some secrets that cause more harm to keep than not.

You open a drawer and pull out the pill bottle, hidden underneath your other possessions, and stare at the label.

WARNING - SUPPRESSANTS. NOT TO BE USED BY ALPHAS. ONLY CONSUME UNDER PHYSICIAN SUPERVISION.

You would know.

BOOM! There you have it. (In case it wasn't clear, the suppressants are for omegas.)

@sprout-fics's omegaverse 141 headcanons series inspired me to write something based off the idea of an omega disguising themselves as a beta in the military. Please check out her series, it's great.

I was really into exploring how omegaverse dynamics can make complicated relationships even messier. I did consider writing this story without the omegaverse, but I think now it's kind of an essential element. (I also just. Want them to have crazy nasty omegaverse sex. Sue me) I can't picture König ever breaking up with someone he deeply loved and was obsessed with, unless he had a reason like that. Still not a great reason, but a little bit understandable. Eden being a disguised omega also adds a bit of spice to the exes-to-lovers arc, too: she could have just come out and told him she's not actually a beta, but she chose not to for the sake of her career. Oof. Ruthless judgement calls were made on both sides.

I put this out because this idea had me in a STRANGLEHOLD, and I just had to get it out before I burst. Hopefully my writing's still up to par 😅 As for Kingdom Come, part iii may take a little while longer because a lot is going to happen in it, so I hope this can tide you guys over until then.

As usual, comments and feedback are always appreciated! I would love to talk about this au more. And again, if you'd like to be tagged, drop a reply. And if you're in the taglist and would like to be removed/only tagged for Kingdom Come, please let me know!

@crowbird @poohkie90 @cumikering @iytatsworld @papaver-decervicatus @anxietyrain @riotakire @ax0lotly @cookiepie111 @kacchasu @no1runawaymilkdad @chthonian-spectre @backwards-readings @yxllowtxpe @garbau @hexqueensupreme @queenthorin1 @violetstyless @her-majesty-theking @vegan-peppermint @peonytarian @ghostslittlegf @euuuuuuun @e1x03 @kokonoiwife @deaddainish @dragonfang @teehee-47 @catluvwr @keiva1000 @waves-against-a-cliff @channelsoph @cutiecusp @itsagrimm @dins-riduur-anthe @mantishymns @lexuria

[doctorbunny]

This will be written sloppily due to me being stuck on my phone but the report today got me talking to a friend and reminded me of a theory I had (I think it originated from @archivalofsins though)

Still, I'll share it again for fresh eyes:

I think Shidou could be making Mahiru sicker instead of helping her

So the gist is that at the start of trial 2, Mahiru was in a critical condition and had her life saved by Shidou

After that she entered a period of injury but stability

We saw through timeline conversations that she was in pain but seemingly able to move around and do things with some assistance

Yuno then gifted Mahiru a wheelchair, the clear implication being that this would let her continue to live as she had been but without as much pain (ambulatory wheelchair users often talk about how their chairs give them more energy/spoons to do other activities too)

Similarly, in Shidou and Mahiru's voice dramas they discuss her health but there doesn't seem to be the kind of urgency suggesting that Mahiru needs to be immediately moved to a hospital in order to not die (Shidou tries to ask Es to "end milgram" but if Mahiru was going to die without urgent care that could've helped his case yet he didn't mention it, even in normal prisons if a prisoner is severely sick or injured they're supposed to be taken to a hospital [not to say real prisoners don't experience medical neglect or abuse but officially they aren't meant to] )

At most he brings up the idea that another guilty vote could be detrimental to her mental health -but he's not an expert or anything

As I said, this all painted a picture of Mahiru as injured but stable until her next verdict

And we forgave her

But then things take a turn

Suddenly Mahiru is requiring round the clock care

Shidou can barely stop for a birthday shoulder rub. Yuno is taking breaks during Mahiru's naps

She appears to be bedridden and her wheelchair hasn't been mentioned since she got it

If we accept time doesn't move in milgram that could explain injuries not healing but it would explain such a dramatic, unexplained decline

We know Shidou has built his personality around being a doctor. A necessary figure who saves people's lives. So it would be a little awkward if he didn't have any patients (since Fuuta apparently didn't feel like he could rely on him and instead joined the anti medicine cult, a common pattern in those who lose trust in doctors after being mistreated)

I don't think Shidou is evil (although it's pretty bad to poison your patients) I think this doctor-patient relationship is almost co-dependant for him, after all its what his inno vote is based on.

It does leave him in a vulnerable position though

He's potentially turned one person mostly able to look after themselves with some medical assistance/supervision into a patient that even with 2 people is causing him to be spread thin

If Mahiru dies he'll be blamed (and I'm sure Yuno is watching him if he does anything too suspicious)

But if another incident happens before T3 and a lot of people get injured again

Or Amane incapacitates him, preventing him from treating the others

There could be a pile up of casualties with not enough people to look after them all

Hard decisions may have made

It could be a triage

[obsessedwrhys]

UNFORGETTABLE

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Frank Woods takes you on a date at Burger Town (fluff, cursing, just reader and woods being a lovey dovey couple, reader is fem and also bell in this story, backstory will be explained using the plots of the campaign and seasons, reader experiences side effects from brainwashing, adler never shot bell in this fic!!)

ᯓ★

From being one of Perseus's trusted spies to working for the CIA, throughout your entire life you weren't sure who you really were.

However, it didn't take long for the truth of your past to slowly uncover itself when you and several others were tasked with taking down Stitch. From there that's when you learned your true identity.

Even then, you never felt like that person was you anymore, so you went on the rest of your life with a new name. Your own identity.

Despite the horrors in those events, some good managed to come out of it. You were able to score yourself a loving boyfriend.

Sure, he hates the soviets but you were a different story. Everybody deserves second chances right?

That's why during your mission at the USSR where you two were paired to infiltrate a russian base, he was absolutely baffled when you weren't familiar with the mascot of a famous restaurant he loved.

"Shit, it's Bubby! I fucking love Bubby!"

"Who's Bubby?"

"What?! You don't know who this is??"

"Uhh..."

And that was way before you guys started dating. After everything has settled down and that you two were blessed with free time, he decided it was only right to let you live your new life with a fresh start. That fresh start happen to be through the doors of the Burger Town entrance.

"I can't believe you managed to convince me to do this" You laughed as your boyfriend practically drags you into the place.

"You talk like I'm forcing you to join a cult" He said before letting you stand in front of him to queue up.

"Judging by how much you praise this restaurant, it might as well be" You joked which had him laugh.

"Oh yeah? And would you join if I asked you to?"

"Nope but I might turn you in for some cash" You responded which made him playfully grab you around the waist in an attempt to tickle you.

The second the customer at the front left, the two of you quickly stopped playing around and tried to act normal as it was your turn to order. You looked through the menu. So many interesting selection...

"Double Chili Time Bomb...?" You smirked at Woods who's standing over you. The two of you exchanging knowing glances at a shared memory.

"How about we leave that story in the past" He said almost like he's pleading you to forget it and you found it amusing.

"Because you mistaken a kid's backpack for a bomb and had everyone including me panic for no reason?"

"I didn't rest that well the night before okay. Now what are you gonna order?" He said and you looked back at the menu, going through each meal and being indecisive on which to choose.

There's so many...

But which one is ACTUALLY good?

Hm....

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Shhh" You waved at him dismissively to try to shut him up, but he ended up grabbing your wrist to place soft kisses on your knuckles.

"How about you go find us a seat and I'll order what you want" He said and you looked at him.

"You know I don't like—"

"I know"

"And I hate eating—"

"I also know that honey" He leaned in to place another kiss on your forehead.

"I did promise you a good meal so don't worry 'bout it" He spoke and you gave him a smile of gratitude. Feeling reassured, you eventually left to find an empty table to sit.

You're no expert but you're pretty sure you found a good spot. It's by the window and you guys get a good view of the streets. After a few minutes of waiting, you looked up to find Woods carrying a tray of the food he picked out. You could only watch in awe as he settle it down on the table before taking the seat in front of you.

"You ordered so much" You said.

"They're not all for me if that's your concern" He handed you your burger and you chuckle at his answer.

You remove half of the wrapper around your burger and just from the looks of it, it looked delicious, not to mention juicy. You then looked over at Woods who seem to be waiting for you to take your first bite. You couldn't help but struggle to contain a smile when you wondered how long he was staring at you.

"You look like Mary when she's waiting for us to feed her" You said, referring to your dog. An Australian Shepherd you two rescued from a shelter.

"Is that your way of calling me cute?" He asked with a cheeky smile. His confidence having you laugh.

"Shut up" You simply said but the smile on your face betrayed your words.

Not being able to wait any longer, you took a cautious bite of the burger. You kept chewing on the food but ended up pausing when you realised it was actually good. So he wasn't kidding. You thought and continued chewing but this time faster. Your act easily made Woods eyes light up in satisfaction.

"It's good isn't it?" He asks as he finally eats from his own burger.

"Its sow yummey" You said with a mouthful and he couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he found you in this state.

"Careful, I don't want you to choke" He grabbed a napkin and gently wipe the sauce off your cheek.

Taking his advice and also not wanting a heartburn. You took your time enjoying your burger and swallowing when you wanted to say something. At the same time, he was also enjoying his meal, he was leaned back and relaxed in his own seat.

"What did you get for yourself?" You asked before drinking from your straw. Your question made him look at you.

"Burger Town Classic Burger. You can't go wrong with the original"

"Can I try??"

"Only if I get a bite of yours"

"Deal"

Exchanging your burgers, you quickly took a bite of his and you couldn't help but melt at the taste. The sauce makes it so much better! Seeing you taking another bite, Woods couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm getting the hint I'm not having my burger back" He said but you simply kept on eating, grabbing some fries while you're at it.

"Why didn't you take me here sooner?" You asked as he drinks from his shake.

"I would have if we weren't getting sent around on missions so much"

"Oh yeah...."

Right as you were about to take another bite, you felt a sharp pain from the front of your head. You wince as you grabbed at your forehead. This catching Wood's attention immediately.

"Shit... you okay?" Woods quickly stood up and was ready to rush to your side but you gestured him to stop.

"I'm good. Just an ache..." You rubbed your temples in an attempt to sooth the pain and it was slowly working.

Once he was sure you won't faint or fall over, he sat back down on his seat with his eyes still watching you cautiously.

"Is the medicine not working?"

"It is, Park just says it takes time since they dosed me with a lot of drugs, but the wait will be worth it..." You hold his hand from across the table to try to comfort him. His hands not hesitating to squeeze back.

It remained quiet for a while until he let's out a sigh. His tone indicating he was upset.

"... I'm sorry—"

"No... don't even start. You didn't know I was being experimented with. You don't owe me an apology"

"Okay..." He muttered but he couldn't bring himself to look at you. It was clear he still felt some sort of guilt from what happened.

Just then, you grinned when you remembered something.

"I never got to say, I still can't believe you beat up Adler when you found out. Mason told me you also punched Hudson when he tried to hold you back" You said, trying to change the mood of the conversation which worked because you could see the corner of his lips twitched slightly upwards.

"Yeah well if they hadn't stopped me I would have killed that son of a bitch" Woods said as he hesitated for a while before finally locking eye contact with you.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? Fuck... the things I'd do for you..." He chuckles a bit, almost like he's in complete disbelief to the fact he finds it humorous.

You could only beam warmly at his words, feeling loved by the reminder of the memories you two shared.

"... thank you for always taking care of me" You said and it was enough to have him all flustered. He shakes his head slightly with an embarrassed smile.

"Don't thank me for something I'd do for you" He said. Then he reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your face to caress your cheek.

"Now come on, let's eat before the food gets cold" He said, reminding you of your burger that has been left unattended on your plate for so long.

"Ugh, I hate cold food"

"I know"

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌾 kappa x reader headcanons 🌾

. yikes, first off this man right here - I need him in my VEINS

. but swiftly moving on

. i'm not gonna sugarcoat anything, this relationship is probably toxic af - like you're both AWFUL for each other, it's like an obsessed kinda love that's probably really unhealthy

. but it's okay, we move

. probably met when he broke into your house or smth - but he'd probably been stalking you for weeks before, I don't make the rules we know it's true. but he'd 100% deny it to your face if you asked

. yes he would probably live in a VW samba. stereotypical? sure. but you can't tell me he doesn't - look me in the eyes and try I beg

. will get high with you every single night, if that's your vibe - and if it's not, he's still getting high with you every night cause he's such a gentleman

. kappa will swear on his life he hates animals, but the day you bring a cat home, bro is smitten

. will convince you to join the cult, let's not kid ourselves at all - whether you do so willingly is up to you, but either way, you're sleeping in that commune, babes

. would NEVER admit it aloud but he secretly wants small braids in his hair - tiny, tiny ones that go around. but you couldn't torture this information out of him

. try it, he'd probably get off on it

. i have said this before, and i stand by it - kappa listens to the zombies, it's a guilty pleasure that he'd rather die than admit

. y'know that red pendant he always wears? put it on for him, i beg. man will be on his knees

. is actually surprisingly a really good cook (i personally headcanon kappa as a veggie but that's just me, don't come at me pls)

. tries to be this heavy dominant man, but then probably smells like fucking fire and patchouli or some waffle

. putting the nsfw under the cut cause i don't wanna get scolded

. we, as a fandom, have collectively agreed that kappa is absolutely packing it down there

. he's a solid nine inches, and definitely has a few piercings - nipple bars are the ones that come to mind when I think of kappa, but probably had them in more intimate places 🤭

. is the kinkiest motherfucker you'll ever meet in your life - everything you knew? forget it, babes, kappa knows best

. if it's not messy and sloppy, kappa doesn't want it - you will be covered in scratches, bite marks, cum, blood, spit and sweat by the time this man is done with you

. he's so mean, man, oh my god

'c'mon, sugar, you can take it, you've fucking done it before'

'stop fucking crying or I'll give you something to cry about'

. aftercare? what's that? kappa will clean you up and maybe, maybe, if you're really, really good, he'll hold you

. loves, loves, loves fucking you outdoors - in 'mother nature' 🌿🍄

. hot take but kappa actually LOVES mutual masturbation (he's so gross, he just likes watching you touch yourself)

. his ego will be heightened when you can't finish by yourself

'awe, what's the matter, sugar? can't even cum without me anymore?'

. he's so fucking mean, I want him bad, man

. BREEDING KINK ( look me in the eyes and tell me no, i dare you)

. pushes his cum so deep inside you that it doesn't even drip out

'gotta make sure it stays nice and put, sugar, gonna fuck a baby into you, hm?'

. will praise you but in a really derogatory way? idk how to describe it

. when i tell you, you will never want another man again - kappa will make you feel things you didn't even know you could, man

. very, very good at what he does - kappa is very cocky, he knows he's good, and he loves when you tell him how good he is

. let this man eat you out, bro - you'll be in heaven. he's so disgusting with it - he's messy, sloppy and you can guarantee he will lap, lick, drool and dribble absolutely everywhere

. you have to beg this man to get away from between your legs - and even when you do, he still doesn't

. realistically, he's probably like a -2/10 BUT I'm gonna give him a solid 9/10 cause he's my man, and i'm delusional

. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩