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something-tofightfor · 2 years ago

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Some Things Are Meant To Be

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Just Too Good To Be Gone pairing)

Word count: 7,813

Rating: M - language, mentions of sex, TLOU universe situations ... overall pretty tame for me.

Warnings: This alludes to things that happen / are covered in TLOU and TLOU 2, but doesn’t spoil anything at all.

Summary: Even in Jackson, plans sometimes change ... which results in you and Joel getting to have an almost perfect day together.

Author’s Note: Hi, friends! This was supposed to be up for Valentine’s Day, but I’m a little delayed... sorry about that.

This is just to fill in a gap in their story - and to address something very important for this couple. It takes place between “Can’t Swallow What I’m Thinkin’” and “Lessons You Learn From a Past You Can’t Change”

To get alerted when I post new chapters/stories, follow @somethingtofightfor-shares and turn on post notifications - you can also ask to be added to my tag list (link in bio or at the top of my taglist reblog)

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist

Song Suggestion: “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley

There was someone knocking at his door - and even though Joel rushed to answer it, it still took him longer than usual to get there.

“I’m comin’!” His voice rose as he made his way down the steps, still toweling his hair dry. “Hang on a -” When he pulled the door open and saw Tommy on his porch, Joel frowned. “Why the hell didn’t you just come in?”

“I know better.” Arching a brow, Tommy stared past Joel and into the hallway behind him. “Didn’t want to see anything I’m not supposed to, if you know what I mean.” Of course.

“She ain’t even here.” Stepping to the side, Joel waved a hand, inviting his brother in. “Stayed at her place last night because I had to be up real early today.” Joel tossed the towel onto the counter, sighing. “Gotta get that barn done before we leave on that supply run in August, means we’ve gotta get it framed before she an’ I head out to Wilson.”

“We’re pushing the barn back a couple days.” Tommy moved around Joel’s kitchen, opening a cupboard and pulling out two mugs. “Schmidt wants to give the ground more time to dry out. He’s out there rakin’ right now.”

“So what does that mean?” Joel leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed. “We planned this out so we’d have plenty of time.” Tommy nodded, pouring water into the upper portion of the coffee maker and then pressing the button to begin brewing it.

“We did. All it means is that it’ll take the same amount of time, but we’re startin’ Friday instead of today.” They were both quiet then, and Joel chewed on his bottom lip, waiting. He didn’t need to come here and tell me. He could have radioed. “Maria left early today, too.” Tommy sniffed, turning back to face Joel. “But she’s why I’m here.”

“Everything alright?” Frowning, Joel tensed, anticipating the worst. “Tommy?”

“Yeah.” Tommy reached up, smoothing his mustache down. “She’s fine. But.” He glanced back, checking the level of water in the coffee pot, and then met Joel’s eyes again. “But she needs a couple more sets of hands today.”

“Where?” His answer was immediate, but Tommy’s wasn’t, the other man reaching for the pre-packed drawstring bags of tea and dropping one into each mug. “Tommy, I swear to God, you’re pissin’ me off, and it’s not even -”

“Do you remember when we were kids, and we used to go to Pop and Mimi’s in the summer?” Well, yeah, but… “And we’d stay there for a couple weeks?”

“‘Course.” Joel pushed off of the island and reached past Tommy, grabbing for the handle of the pot and pouring the steaming liquid into the mugs. “They’d never make us go to bed, so we’d always say up real late.” Tommy laughed, lifting the teabag by the drawstrings and dunking it a few times. “All that time spent layin’ on the ground in a sleeping bag should have been good practice for …” He trailed off, Tommy scoffing in reply.

“Yeah, you’d fuckin’ think so.” Dropping the bag into the sink, he raised the mug and took a drink, his lip curling. “I miss coffee like you wouldn’t believe.”

“You and me both.” Joel sipped at his tea. “Can you get to the goddamn point, though, Tommy?” The younger man laughed, taking another drink.

“What else did we do when we were there, Joel?” Ate a bunch of junk food? Ran around the neighborhood until we were so tired we couldn’t stand up? “I’ll give you a hint.” He paused, narrowing his eyes. “You got up close and personal with some yellowjackets the one year.”

“Berry pickin’?” Joel froze with the mug halfway to his lips. “Maria needs help with berry pickin’?”

“She does.” Tommy grinned, licking his lips after another drink. “Blueberries, raspberries and strawberries are ripe, and you know how big that field is.” I do, I’m the one that fixed the fence last year. “So instead of framin’ out that barn today, you an’ me are gonna go and help out over there.”

“But that’s where -” That’s where she is. Out there with Maria. Tommy drained his mug and placed it into the sink, stepping forward and settling a hand on Joel’s shoulder, his fingers squeezing.

“Sure is, big brother.”

—

You were bent over a row of raspberry bushes, your fingers quickly picking the ripe fruits and dropping them into a basket when you heard his voice. “Hey, you.” What is he doing here?

Turing your head toward the sound, you widened your eyes at the sight of Joel and then stood up straight, pulling a berry free as you moved.

“Joel? What are you… I thought you were working on the barn today.” You watched as his smile grew from a small one into the grin that you rarely saw on his lips - the one that made him look years younger. Stepping closer to him, you held out your hand, the berry resting on your palm. “Want it?”

Without saying anything, Joel stepped closer and reached out, waiting until you’d dropped the fruit from your hand to his. Without looking away, he popped it into his mouth, the man chewing and swallowing. “Damn, those are good this year.” They are. “And yeah, we were supposed to work on the barn today, but the ground’s wet or somethin’, so we’re givin’ it another couple days.”

“Good.” Closing the distance between you even further, you used one hand to gesture vaguely. “There’s a lot to pick here.” He looked around, the man putting both hands on his hips. It gave you the chance to stare at him, your eyes taking in the fit of his t-shirt and jeans, the way his hair curled against he back of his neck - longer than he usually wore it, but still shorter than the longest you’d ever seen it.

He didn’t spend much time in the agricultural areas of Jackson. The only times you saw him in the greenhouses were when he was coming to see you or to fix something, and it was rare that Joel had any hand in the field harvests, either. But you would have been lying if you’d said that you were unhappy to see him among the greenery.

“I haven’t picked berries since I was a kid.” Joel finally spoke, his eyes drifting back to you. “You’re gonna have to help me out.” Fighting back a smile, you reached out again, waiting for him to take your hand. Gladly.

“It’s really easy, Joel.” Leading him to the bushes you’d been working on, you reached for one of the raspberries. “Try and pull it off the plant. If it comes off easy, it’s ripe. If you need more than a little force… it’s not ready.” A berry came free and you popped it into your mouth. “Same for blueberries. But we’re not going to get to those today, because Maria claims them.” You laughed, watching Joel reach for the plant, too. “Just put ‘em in the bucket, and then when it’s full, take it over to where the wagons are.”

“We brought a couple more.” Joel licked his lips, his hands already busy with the bush. “Wagons, I mean.”

“Good.” Eyeing him, you waited a few seconds to go back to what you were doing. “We’ll need as many as we can get. There’s gonna be a ton of fruit today. The weather’s been really good this year, and the fence kept the animals out.”

“You’re welcome.” Glancing over at you, Joel smirked. “For the fence, I mean.” You rolled your eyes, leaning over and picking an unripe berry off of the ground before you tossed it at him. “Oh, you’re wastin’ fruit now?”

“No. It was already wasted.” Head shaking back and forth, you looked down. “I’m glad you’re here, Joel. Thought I wasn’t gonna get to see you much for the next couple days.” He sighed, but you caught the nod he gave in return out of the corner of one eye.

“Yeah, I thought the same thing. Glad we were wrong.” You worked in silence for a few minutes, checking on the contents of the bucket every now and then as the two of you filled it.

But it was a good silence, the man’s presence next to you coupled with the heat of the late-morning air and the bright sunlight making you happier than you’d been in a long time. And when you glanced over at Joel, you saw that he looked relaxed, too, his lips curved upward into a small smile as he kept his hands busy. I like seeing him like this.

Between the two of you, you filled three 5 gallon buckets in just over an hour, making small talk as you worked your way down the row.

He told you about the time that he and Tommy had spent with their grandparents during their school breaks, about the incident when he was eleven, his entire right hand swelling up from multiple stings, and that it had resulted in his grandmother stopping on the way home to buy both brothers ice cream.

Joel also told you about the tiny garden that he’d kept in the back yard for Sarah to play in, and the hanging basket of strawberries that hung from a shepherd’s hook every summer, the girl excited to check for fresh fruit on a daily basis.

You’d noticed that when Joel was relaxed and not prodded, he tended to open up more. and because you wanted to know everything about him that you could, you didn’t interrupt, giving him free rein to speak at his own pace.

And it was Joel that cut himself off mid-sentence halfway through the fourth bucket, the man standing up straight and saying your name, one hand held out. “What?” Looking up from where you knelt on the ground, you tilted your head to the side. “What is -”

“C’mon. Take a break with me. Let’s get some water.” He kept his arm extended, but instead of reaching for it, you gave yourself permission to look at him - taking in the sight of the man’s sweat-damp forehead, the dark spot near the collar of his shirt and the way the sun was shining through his hair and highlighting the silver strands in his messy curls, some of them sticking to the back of his neck. Look at him.

Finally taking his hand, you let him pull you up, his fingers tightening around yours. “Gonna grab that bucket, we might as well empty it.” You picked it up but Joel took it from you and the two of you headed for the wagons, the man dropping your hand but not straying far.

Once you’d emptied the bucket into the larger crate, he set it down and waited for you to fill up two cups from the cooler that was sitting under the shade of a tree, the man taking one from you. “We can go sit over there.” Using your free hand, you gestured to a shady space about twenty feet to the right, facing away from the town.

You passed Maria and Tommy on the way, the two of them huddled over a row of blueberry bushes, pulling fruit away from the plants. Your friend glanced up but didn’t say anything, the woman winking before she returned her attention to her husband. “This shit’s almost harder than construction.” Joel groaned as he lowered himself to the ground, leaning his back against one of the fenceposts. “My knees are gonna feel awful tomorrow.”

“Yep.” Taking a seat next to him, you drank deeply from your cup, the cool water delicious as you swallowed it. “But it’s going to be worth it when there’s fresh pie and jam.” Turning your head toward him, you smiled. “That’s the best part about picking the fruit; we get to take some home without worrying about waiting for distribution.”

“Really?” His eyes widened. “Ellie’s gonna love that.” I know. You leaned in, eyes still locked with Joel’s.

“Yes, really. That’s why they rotate people in here, so that it’s spread out a little more between anyone that wants some extra. It’s not … there’s a lot of fruit, but it’s still kind of shitty to take more than you need. Honor system, you know?”

“That wouldn’t have worked in Boston.” He snorted, finishing his water and setting the cup down. “A handful of blueberries would have probably cost an entire ration card, maybe more. There was a literal black market for seeds, and some … some produce was worth more than goddamn pills.”

“That’s a surprise.” You finished your water, too, and then leaned back next to him, stretching your legs out in front of you. “Since you were a smuggler, did … did you ever smuggle food, Joel? Or was it all stuff?” He’d talked about his jobs plenty of times, but aside from telling you about some of the most memorable ones, he hadn’t gone into much detail.

“Anything and everything.” Joel reached up and ran his hand through his hair, shrugging. “Me an’ Tess would take on any job we were offered as long as the pay was right. Only thing we never did was smuggle people.” Joel paused and then laughed, the sound carrying on the breeze. “And then Marlene asked us to get Ellie out of the QZ, and …” He trailed off.

“And we all know how that turned out.” Extending your hand, you settled it on his knee. “Do you ever miss it? Not the danger or the actual job, but I mean…” I mean Boston. I mean the life you had there.

“I miss the unpredictability, sometimes.” Turning his head, Joel stared at you, his eyes warm from the bright sun overhead. “Never knew who we were gonna meet or where the job would take us. Made some really good connections that way, but…” Joel shook his head. “No. I don’t miss anything else. I didn’t do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to and because I… we were good at it.”

“Oh.” You stared at each other for a few seconds, the uncertainty of how to respond giving you pause. That makes sense, but … but what do I say back? He spoke up then, negating the need for you to come up with anything in response.

“We should get back to it. How many more buckets do we need to fill?”

“It’s not by buckets.” Pushing to your feet, you brushed the backs of your legs off as Joel stood, too. “We have to finish the first two rows and then check on the others. They plants are different kinds, so usually theres a week or two in between when they’re first ready.” Swiping at your brow with the back of your hand, you eyed the man. “We’re almost done. That’s another good thing about a day out here … it’s never a full day.”

He didn’t laugh at that but you got a smile out of him, and only a few minutes later, you and Joel were back between the rows of bushes, both of you busily plucking the ripe fruits from their stems.

You continued to speak, trading stories back and forth, but even that trailed off into another comfortable silence - and then, just before you opened your mouth to ask him a question, you heard it.

Joel was humming as he picked - and when you glanced over in surprise, you saw that he was still smiling.

—

When he got home a little after 2 PM, the house was empty. Joel set the small containers of fresh berries that you’d insisted he take for himself on the counter and then headed upstairs, stripping his sweaty shirt off and throwing it onto the pile before he pulled on a new one.

Part of him wanted to take a shower, but the other part of him knew it would be better to wait, since you’d be over later that night for dinner and that meant he’d probably need to shower before bed. So Joel opted to put it off, instead heading into his workshop and deciding to make the most of the remaining hours of daylight.

He had a few commissioned projects to complete - a guitar for one of the guys he’d gone on patrol with a few times, a couple of small animal carvings as gifts for a pair of 8 year old twins, and two cutting boards - along with a shelving unit that he was working on for you. But when Joel sat, he didn’t know where to begin.

The change in his morning assignment had been a shock to him, but in a good way. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told you that he missed the unpredictability of smuggling in Boston, and though everything about Jackson was much less stressful, Joel was sometimes bored. Nah, that ain’t even the right word.

He leaned back on the rolling stool, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Safety and security weren’t boring, but the routine sometimes was. Even when he’d been assigned work duty in Boston, the location had changed often, and so had his duties and expectations. In Jackson, things were much more set based on skill and interest instead of necessity.

Before Jackson, Joel hadn’t ever imagined that a place like it could exist. And he sure as hell hadn’t thought that there’d ever be another easy day, time spent in the sun and doing something that was work, but wasn’t hard work.

And there was an immediate reward, too - more than the extra portions of fresh fruit on the counter, or another few days where he wouldn’t end the night with blistered hands.

He liked the carpentry projects that he worked on, and he didn’t mind the patrols or wall duty, but even after two years in the settlement, getting thrown a curveball - like what had happened that morning - was a welcome respite. Even somethin’ small, he thought as he ran a palm over one denim-clad thigh. Like gettin’ to spend a day with her outside.

He’d seen you watching him earlier, glancing over when you thought he wasn’t looking, your eyes taking in every inch of his frame, and he hadn’t minded at all. But he’d only seen it because he was also watching you every chance he got.

He paid attention to everything, but especially to you - to the way your deft fingers plucked the fruit from the stems and dropped them into the bucket that sat between you. He focused on the way that you’d occasionally stop to pop a berry into your mouth, a quiet sigh escaping your lips as you bit down on it, the same hand reaching up to wipe tiny beads of sweat from your brow with the back of it before you returned to your task. And Joel zeroed in on the way the sun hit your face, forcing you to squint a little and tilt your head, exposing the column of your neck to his greedy eyes.

It was more than that, though - Joel’s feelings for you growing faster than he thought possible in such a relatively short period of time, and every new detail was a revelation to him, no matter how small.

“Get your shit together, Miller.” He groaned and wheeled himself back toward the table, both hands reaching out for his tools.

He started with one of the carvings - a rabbit - and for a few minutes, he worked in silence, every scrape of the chisel producing a small, curled wood shaving that dropped onto the tabletop.

But he couldn’t focus, and so with a roll of his eyes, Joel sat the piece and his tools down and then stood, scrubbing his hands over his face before heading into his bedroom.

You were a distraction, but for the first time in a long time, Joel didn’t think that was entirely a problem.

He’d been successful at pushing feelings and emotions to the side for a most of his life - beginning before Outbreak Day, and then after had been a different story. But I let Tess in. And I let Ellie in. Lowering himself onto the edge of his bed, he turned his head, gaze landing on the side of it that you always slept on. And then I let her in.

Even from the beginning, he’d admired your patience. In some people, that patience was a weakness, but in you, it was something more - something almost tactical, and he’d recognized it the very first time he’d met you.

That patience made it possible for you to keep a cool head even in difficult circumstances. The longer he’d spent around you, the more Joel understood how much of an asset that truly was, especially when he’d been used to using his fists and brute strength to make people see things from his point of view.

You’d reminded him of Tess - and he’d told you that without shame, the admission that that woman would have liked you an honest one, though it hadn’t come at the best time. But you took it in stride, much like you did so many other things, and as more and more time went on and the two of you got closer, Joel had - unwittingly - started to open up more than he’d ever wanted to before.

The circumstances allowed it, and though he’d been hesitant to fully give in, Joel couldn’t help himself.

There was never an option for a casual physical relationship with you - the idea had repulsed him. Remaining friends and friends only would have been possible up until the moment he’d heard your real laugh the night he’d come to check on you after finding out about your sister. That single sound had done him in, and from there, everything snowballed.

He’d known that you coming over to watch a movie would probably end with the two of you in bed. He’d known that despite the fact that the guilt he still carried - and would carry until he could tell you the truth - would eat at him, he wasn’t keeping anything from you, he was keeping a secret for Ellie, and there was an important distinction. He’d also known that like with the little girl, the moment he admitted to himself that he felt something for you, it would be impossible to pretend that he didn’t.

“Well, shit.” Joel laid back, keeping his feet on the floor and covering his face with both hands. Friendship was natural, especially when the two of you weren’t depending on each other for survival. Feelings, he was alright with too, because they were proof that he was still alive - and the ability to get close to him was a feat all on its own, which meant that you were doing something right.

But the thing that had taken root in his heart the previous winter? The realization that it was more than concern for and admiration of you, that there was more to it than simple attraction? He’d forced himself to bite it back each time it threatened to reveal itself, despite the fact that each time he did it, it got harder and harder to ignore.

Things weren’t normal, and they never would be, no matter how safe it was inside the walls of Jackson.

There were parts of his past that Joel couldn’t overlook or ignore, things that he fully believed would come back and haunt him given enough time - and he hated the thought of you getting caught up in them. Especially if she doesn’t know. Rubbing at his eyes, Joel took a deep breath and then stared at the ceiling, lacing his fingers together atop his abdomen.

He’d already broken his rules with you, time and time again, and even though you never made a big deal out of it, he knew you understood. And so do Tommy and Ellie, because … they know me. All of ‘em. Words were meaningless - promises were made and broken every single day, and so he’d made it a point to show you what he felt in and out of the bedroom, and Joel hoped that the message was loud and clear. Even if I can’t say it.

The sound of the front door slamming followed by Ellie’s voice calling his name urged him into action. With one final groan, Joel sat up and then stood, using one hand to rifle through his hair before heading back downstairs, the girl a perfect distraction.

“Joel? You here? What are -” There was a pause and then Ellie swore, her excitement evident in the next words she spoke. “Holy shit, fresh fruit? Where did -”

“I’m here.” He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Didn’t go and work on that barn today. Went an’ picked fruit instead. Figured you’d like to have somea those berries.”

“Can I?” She was leaning over the counter, her palms flat on the surface. “I didn’t even know they were ready and we walk by the garden like… every day. Dina said -”

“You can, but don’t eat ‘em all. I’m supposed to save some for breakfast.” The girl’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open. “Muffins, I think. Don’t quote me on that, but -”

“She’s making us muffins?” Ellie groaned and popped a blueberry into her mouth. “God, Joel, you know if you just asked her to move in, it would be much easier.” What? He froze, Ellie’s name on the tip of his tongue, but she continued, reaching for a raspberry. “Like, there’s plenty of room here. I live in the garage, and it’s not like you need two bedrooms. Fuck these are good.” She took another berry and then stood up, gesturing at the kitchen. “You two are just going back and forth between two houses, and it’s stupid.”

“Ellie, I …” I don’t know what to say. “She’s lived in that apartment almost the entire time she’s been here, I don’t think she wants to move.”

“Dude, she’d move in here with you yesterday if you asked.” She reached for a strawberry, picking the stem and leaves off before she raised it, eyeing the fruit without looking at him. “What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly, stepping into the room and stopping opposite her before leaning forward and resting his elbows on the countertop. “Hasn’t come up.”

“So bring it up.” She finished her strawberry, shrugging her shoulders as she chewed, her eyes locked with his. “It’s easy.” It wasn’t, though - not for him, but Joel knew how persistent Ellie could be and so he nodded, reaching forward to pick up a couple of the berries, too.

“We’re goin’ on that supply run in August. Maybe I’ll…” He frowned. No, I will. “We’ll talk about it then. We’ll have plenty of time.”

“Good.” She grinned, tossing a blueberry in his direction. “She’s not gonna wait forever for you to ask.” The thought terrified him, and he knew that while Ellie was telling the truth, she wasn’t doing it to scare him - it was just her nature. But she ain’t wrong. “Do you think I can go pick some of these?” She pointed at the containers, reaching up to scratch at the back of her neck with her other hand. “I could eat this whole thing right now.”

“You can ask.” He smiled, nodding. “She’s comin’ over for dinner tonight, and she’ll know better than I will.”

“Cool!” Ellie grinned and straightened up, too. “One of you come get me when she’s here, alright?”

He assured her that he would and then Ellie was gone, back out the front door and leaving Joel standing in the bright light of his kitchen. The girl’s words gave him even more to think about, and with a quiet laugh, he turned and headed back for the stairs. At least the damn wood can’t talk back.

—

The sun was sinking lower toward the horizon by the time you made it over to Joel’s that night, a small bag slung over one shoulder and another in your hands. Even though you’d showered and changed, you could still feel the sunlight from earlier, your skin pleasantly warm from the time you’d spent outside.

And because you were in a good mood, you’d dressed for the occasion, intending to surprise Joel. I just hope he … doesn’t think it’s weird.

Stepping onto the porch, you raised your hand to knock, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Joel?” You called his name as your knuckles made contact with the wood and then stepped back, waiting.

It didn’t take him long to reach the door and pull it open, the man’s mouth opening to greet you and then freezing that way, his eyes going wide. Guess he doesn’t think it’s weird. “You… damn.” Joel sucked in a breath and then stepped back, gesturing for you to come in. “Never seen you dressed like this before. What’s the …” With a smile on your face, you passed him and headed into the kitchen, Joel trailing behind you.

It was just a dress - a dark blue, calf length sundress with a tiny floral print on it, a belt tied loosely at the waist. You’d paired it with comfortable sneakers to make it more practical, but you understood his reaction. Because it’s not at all what he’s used to seeing me in.

“Figured it would be alright for a couple hours, hmm?” Setting the smaller bag down on the island and the larger one on one of the kitchen chairs, you turned back to face him. “I don’t do this often, but -” He cut you off when he stepped forward, one hand rising to cradle your cheek against his palm, the other landing against your opposite hip. “Joel?”

“Wish you could do it more.” Lips quirking up briefly, he leaned in and kissed you, the man’s mouth soft on yours. “Easy access for me.” You couldn’t contain your laughter, winding your arms around him and letting Joel pull you even closer, the man’s mouth dropping from yours to your neck, his smile still evident. This feels so normal. Feels… like before.

“It’s good to hear you making jokes, Joel.” Murmuring the words, you threaded your fingers through his hair, a smile on your face, too. When you separated a few seconds later, you pulled your hands away from him and crossed them over your chest, though you didn’t look away. “I brought other clothes. Something to sleep in, and something to wear tomorrow, but if you -”

No way.” He nodded, pressing his lips together in a thin line. “You know that whenever you’re here at night, I’m never gonna ask you to leave.” You did know that, but you liked confirming it - and part of you knew that Joel also liked the confirmation, because it told him that despite all the time you’d been together, you still weren’t expecting things from him. “Ellie wanted me to let her know when you got here.”

“Yeah?” He nodded, jerking his chin toward the window.

“Yeah. She wants to go out to pick next time the fruit’s ripe, and I told her to ask you because you’d know more.” Of course she does. She’s never been. “I’ll go an’ get her.”

“Joel, wait.” Reaching out, you rested your hand on his arm. “Wait just a few minutes.” He was confused and you understood. Usually, you were all for bringing Ellie in to spend time with the two of you, and that night’s hesitation was a surprise to him. “It’s stupid. I know it is, but …” Gesturing to the things you’d unpacked you rested your hands on the counter and lowered your chin. “I never get to see you like you were earlier today, and I just thought … Joel, I just thought that we could keep going like it’s…”

It had sounded better in your head while you showered and got dressed, and again while you walked to his place. But as you spoke the words, you realized how foolish it was to pretend - to ask Joel to give you even a few more minutes for a stupid fantasy. “Like it’s what?” He stepped closer, one large hand landing atop yours. “Keep it goin’ like it’s what?”

“Like we both called off work and spent the day together.” You scoffed, looking up and rolling your eyes. “Like we had a day date and now we’re going to have one tonight. I’ll make dinner and bake muffins, and we’ll sit together and eat, and …” You trailed off, lifting one hand to cover your face. “It’s so stupid. God, just hearing myself say it, it’s -”

“It ain’t stupid.” He said your name, squeezing your hand. “At all.” It is. But thanks for… thanks for trying. “You want a couple more minutes with me?” You nodded, despite yourself, and he nodded back, pulling away from you and putting his hand on his hip. “Alright. You tell me what you need to me to do.” I…

You let yourself stare at him again, searching his face for a sign that he was just humoring you - and you couldn’t find one.

All you saw were his eyes on you - the man watching you with barely-concealed desire, the skin of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose slightly sunburned, the freckles there standing out more than they usually did and making you fall even harder for him than you already had.

Tell him. Tell him that you - “I brought pasta.” Swallowing hard, you closed your eyes and took a breath. “Figured we could use those tomatoes and some garlic and make a sauce, and we’d have spaghetti. I didn’t have any meat, but -”

“I do.” He pointed at the refrigerator and then moved toward it. “Some bison, actually. It’s steaks, but we can use the grinder.” He trailed off as he stepped past you and opened the refrigerator, only speaking again when he’d set the package down on the island next to you. “Grind it up and add it the sauce. How’s that sound?” It sounded perfect to you - much like every night spent with Joel and doing domestic things sounded. Stop being so goddamn ridiculous.

“Good. It’ll be nice to see that thing get some use.” He raised a middle finger at you, turning away to grab a bowl while you spun to fill a pot with water, prepping it for the noodles. As always, the two of you moved fluidly together in the kitchen, and within only a few minutes, you were crushing tomatoes and garlic and Joel was feeding the meat into the funnel, cranking the arm with his other hand.

Pausing to watch, you felt your cheeks growing warm at the way his biceps flexed with each motion of his hand, Joel’s t-shirt pulled tight against his broad chest. You’d never get tired of looking at him, and you knew that not only was the world too far gone for trivial things like that to matter, you were much too old to stare at him like a teenager with a crush. But what’s the point if…

“You’re staring.” He’d finished with the meat, both of the man’s hands flat on the countertop and his eyes on you. “Makin’ sure I’m doing it right?”

“No, Joel.” Setting the knife down, you picked up the cutting board and dumped everything into a bowl, giving yourself a few seconds to recover before you faced him again. “I know you’re doing it right, I’m just …” Placing the board in the sink, you turned back toward him, surprised to see that Joel was night next to you. “What are you -”

“Washin’ my hands.” Holding them up, he smirked. “Don’t wanna get raw meat all over you.” All over me? What? “Don’t put that on the stove yet.” He stopped you as you reached for the bowl of ground meat, your hands freezing just before you grabbed it. “Wait a minute.”

—

The sight of you at his front door - wearing a dress had almost derailed the entire night, Joel barely able to restrain himself from taking your hand and leading you up to the bedroom right then and there. It was rare that he was speechless, but he had been that night, the sight of you making his throat dry and his fingers flex in anticipation and admiration.

Your explanation for your outfit - and for waiting longer to call Ellie in made perfect sense to him, and despite his best efforts, he let himself think about what a normal life with you would be like.

Instead of infected and bandits and pasts shrouded in shame and mystery, Joel imagined date nights and road trips, visiting friends and reaching milestones - one of which Ellie had suggested earlier, and another that he’d been putting off for far too long. But so has she, and it’s for the same reason.

You eased the tension as you started prepping dinner, and grinding the meat gave Joel a little more time to gather his thoughts.

But when he caught you staring, your eyes fixed on what his hands and arms were doing, he knew that putting it off any longer was the wrong decision. And so he made a joke, giving himself a few more seconds to mentally prepare, followed by a second joke, the man rinsing his hands quickly and then turning back to stop you from rushing with the cooking. “Wait a minute.”

You stopped, caught between Joel and the island, and much like the first night you’d been over for a movie, he didn’t try to stop himself from closing the distance to kiss you, his damp hand pressed to the center of your back, bare skin the only thing he could feel beneath it.

He kissed you hard, wasting no time with easing you into it, the man’s tongue parting your lips and seeking more from you, the angle of your head adjusting automatically to accommodate his. Your hands gripped the material of his shirt, urging him to get closer, and when you sighed against his lips, one hand letting go and then stroking slowly over his back, he felt the knot of anxiety in his chest loosen. That’s it.

He already considered you family - and he was certain everyone in Jackson knew it, thanks to the incident that had happened with Cooper and the bloater in the old middle school. The two of you were rarely apart when you weren’t working on on patrols, and there was no question as to whether or not Ellie wanted you around. He knew where Tommy stood on the topic of you and having a place in Joel’s life.

As the kiss continued, both of you briefly breaking to breathe, Joel finally understood everything - admitting the truth to himself for the first time even though deep down, he’d known it for months. She’s hesitating because I am.

When you separated, he eased himself backwards, putting a few inches of space between the two of you without letting go, and then Joel said your name again, the sound catching in his throat. “I shoulda said this sooner.”

“Said what, Joel?” Pulling your lower lip back and between your teeth, you dropped one hand to his waist, the one that had been fisting the material of his shirt remaining in place. “What are -”

“I’m done waitin’.” He smiled at you, nodding. “And I think you are, too.” There was confusion in your eyes and he winced. No more of that. The man nodded twice, raising a hand to your face and taking your chin between one finger and his thumb, making sure that your eyes were on him before he said anything else. “I love you.”

It felt like a dam breaking - three words that he hadn’t said out loud to anyone in twenty years leaving his mouth and meant only for you to hear - and if your reaction was any indication, you weren’t fully prepared for the flood. But it feels right. He lifted his thumb, stroking it slowly over your lower lip, the man unable to look away, even as tears welled in your eyes.

“Say it again.” Your voice wavered, tongue darting out and making contact with the tip of his finger briefly. “Joel, please say it again.”

“I love you.” That time, his voice cracked, but a small smile followed, Joel’s next words rushed. “And I know what saying that means, and I know that it ain’t a -”

“I love you, too.” There was no hesitation, your voice much stronger than his had been. “I have for a while.” He felt relief at your admission, and even though he’d been almost certain that you felt the same, part of him - the part of him that was still firmly rooted in the past and what he’d done - had doubted. Not her, but … whether or not I deserve it.

You kissed him then, the press of your lips reassurance and relief indeed of a something demanding, and Joel didn’t want to let you go. But I have to. We’ve gotta make dinner, and Ellie’s comin’ in, and … “Hey.” He spoke quietly, his forehead pressed to yours. “We’ve gotta….”

“I know.” With a long sigh, you pushed him away, your eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Go get her. I’ll start cooking.” Stepping away, from you, Joel stopped at the sound of your voice, turning to look at you from over his shoulder. “We can talk later, if you want.”

Of course I want that. “Yeah. We can.”

—

You replayed it over and over in your mind for the next few hours, but no matter how many times you heard Joel’s voice telling you that he loved you, you knew that it wouldn’t ever be enough.

It had caught you off guard, and if you hadn’t been pressed up and against the edge of the kitchen island, you knew that you probably would have lost your balance. He loves me. He loves me and … You’d had an idea that he felt that way, but never actually thought you’d hear him say it. And I get it, but I … I still wanted it.

Dinner went smoothly - Ellie coming in just in time to help you cut and toast a loaf of bread while the meat browned and the noodles cooked. The three of you ate in the living room, the TV playing an old comedy movie that Ellie found hysterical.

You barely paid attention to it, instead curled up against Joel’s side, the man’s arm around your shoulders and holding you close. You wondered what he thought of the situation - of the three of you spending the night together in his house after such an immense admission only a few hours earlier.

But his even breathing and the way his hand never faltered in the slow and steady path it was making against your upper arm told you that everything was fine. Good. Because I don’t know what I’d do if things were different now.

Ellie sad goodnight around 10, the girl heading back to her garage and leaving you and Joel alone in the house. As soon as she was gone, the silence was almost overwhelming, even with the sounds of Joel checking the door and window locks.

“Upstairs or down here?” He appeared back in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and the man kept his eyes on you while he waited for your answer.

“Probably down here for now.” Raising a brow, you wrinkled your nose. “We don’t usually talk much up there.” Joel laughed and came back into the room, lowering himself onto the couch next to you and then reaching out, pulling you toward him. You helped, easing over so that you were partially sitting on his lap, and then the two of you stopped moving, the room silent around you.

The overhead light was dimmed, casting shadows into the corners of the room, and after only a few minutes, the movement of Joel’s hand started again, the rough pads of his fingers trailing up and down your arm. “I haven’t told anyone that I love them since … since Sarah.” He sniffed, taking a long breath. “And I haven’t said it to a woman since Nadine.”

That shocked you, your hand pressing harder against his chest in response. Since Nadine? “Joel, I don’t… you didn’t…”

“Even before,” he started, the hand not on your arm sliding up and down your cotton-covered thigh. “I only said it when I meant it.” Lifting your head, you met his eyes, the vulnerability in them clearly visible. “I mean it now.”

“I know.” Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his cheek and then dropped them down, letting them linger against the bare patch closer to the edge of his jaw. “I mean it too.”

“Good.” He forced out a laugh and you backed off, watching as he frowned. “Don’t know what I would have done if you you didn’t.” His tone was serious, but you saw a flicker of relief cross his features, the man smiling briefly.

It made you laugh, though. Your entire body shook as he pulled you close, drawing you into the protective circle of his arms like he had so many times before. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Joel. Didn’t say it because, I didn’t want to scare you off, but … that doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.”

You didn’t think he was going to reply, but then Joel did, kissing the crown of your head and speaking once he’d turned his head to press his cheek there.

“Yeah… I know you did. I’m sorry it took me so long to get outta my head about it.”

You couldn’t fault him for waiting. Things weren’t like they had been before, and even though you’d wanted to hear the words from him, you’d always known that when - and if - he said them, it couldn’t be because you’d prompted him to do so.

“No need to apologize, Joel.” Backing off, you reached up, stroking his bearded cheek with your thumb. “You said it now, and that’s all that matters.” He nodded, eyeing you. “And to be honest, you said it without saying it, too, for a long time, but…”

“So did you.” He leaned in, the man’s lips moving slowly against yours. “All the damn time.” The kiss was languid, you and Joel staying as close as possible for a long time - and then you broke away from him, standing and extending your hand.

“Come on, Miller.” He leaned forward, reaching up and twining his fingers with yours. “Got some more things to say to you upstairs.”

—

Tag list coming soon!

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epicrainbowsheep · 11 months ago

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Darlin’ just you wait till then

Joel Miller x Reader

Joel and his darlin' make gingerbread houses, and things get frisky...

This is for the amazing Puddles @gasolinerainbowpuddles , Merry Christmas from your secret Santa!!!! Hope you enjoy :D

Walking into the kitchen with the box of the gingerbread house you just brought. “JOEL COME DOWN STAIRS” you yelled as you unpacked the decorations, lollies and candy, making sure to spread them out. “I don’t understand why I’ve gotta do this” He grumbles as he walks down the hallway, zipping up his jeans.

“Come on Joel it’ll be fun, plus Sarah said you need to do something holiday related since she isn’t able to make it this year” Joel grumbles yet again, standing next to you now, slowly surveying all of the parts of the gingerbread house they’ve got to build.

Grabbing two sides of the house, “How are we supposed to put this together” He questions, looking around for something to stick it together with. You chuckle and hand him the piping bag with the icing in it.

“You use this darling” Joel takes it from your hand and pipes it along the seam, placing the two pieces together, it manages to stand up. Making sure to do it with the others, you start to pour some lollies into the middle before Joel attaches the roof.

“Alrighty now that’s done” Joel stands behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist, pulling you in tight as he kissed your neck. You sigh as you give his access to your neck, “Darling we’ve still got to decorate it” he nuzzles your neck and speaks husky into your ear.

“How ‘bout we do it together like this” he slides his big hands over yours, he picks up the decorative icing and slides it slowly into your hands, gently caressing as you both move your hands into position. His big hands squeezing yours and guiding the tube over the roof, you start to blush at the feeling of his hands enveloping yours.

With his hands over yours you both continued to decorate the gingerbread house, you could feel his errection against your arse. You bent forward a little making sure to grind your but slightly into his cock, Joel groans in response and grinds his bulge back into your arse.

Both of you moan, dropping the icing bag Joel grabs your hips pulling you even closer to his cock, grinding even harder. He sets a decent pace, groaning out in pleasure. “Darlin’ you feel what you do to me?” humping stronger to emphasise his raging hard on, his arms flip you around with his hips pining you to the counter, his arms wrapping around your body.

You hook one leg onto his hip, his left arm making sure to grip it tight. His clothed cock rubs perfectly against your cunt, both resuming from where you left off, this cock grinded hard into you.

“Shit ba-aby” He stops himself suddenly, his head resting on your shoulder panting. “You okay Joel?” You questioned, worried something was wrong you bring your leg down from around his waist. He stands up, stabilising himself against the kitchen counter.

“I’m okay sugar, just not as young as I used to be, nearly got to excited there” He gave a sheepish grin, “Can only really come the one time before I’m pooped” He grabs your hand and leads you towards the bedroom. “Besides I can think of a better way of makin’ you cum” He walks you backwards towards the bed, pushing your shoulders so you fall onto the bed.

You bring yourself to rest against the pillows as Joel slides your underwear off. “Been thinkin’ about this pussy all mornin’” His arms wrap around your legs, hands gripping the meat of your thighs, pulling you roughly towards his mouth. He licks a stripe along your pussy, earning a moan from you before he shoves his face into your cunt.

His tongue licking rapidly around your clit, he moves his mouth downwards, making sure his nose is level with your clit and starts to rock his head from side to side. “Shit Joel” You moan out, arching your back, he groans in response to you, grabbing your arse with his big hands and grips it tight.

He starts motor boating your pussy, his mouth going crazy sucking and licking your cunt, his nose rubbing against your clit hard. “Joel I’m close” You manage to speak, your orgasm building up with all the pleasure your receiving from Joel, the thing that pushes you over the edge is the feeling of his beard scratching against your clit.

Your hands fly to his head and tightly grip his hair as you moan out Joel’s name in pleasure. You move your eyes to Joel who has his head raised, mid-wiping your juices from his mouth on to his sleeve. He crawls up towards you with a smirk on his face, bringing his mouth up against your ear “You enjoy that darlin’” Making sure to bring out his southern accent heavily, knowing it gets you going.

“Y-yes Joel I did” You moan out again as his fingers tease your hole, sliding two fingers in, starting to pump them hard, he gripped your shoulder and pulled you into him, his mouth staying right next to your ear, speaking in his deep southern tone as before.

“Your such a good girl baby” He groans out as he hears the squelches from your pussy, “Your positively wet baby girl, hear that?” He purposely slows down his fingers, making slow movements to prove his point, “Your pussy makes the most delicious sounds” He feels you tightening up around his fingers, he picks up in speed which takes you over the edge for a second time.

Bringing up his wet fingers to his mouth, he sucks your juices off, making sure to wrap his tongue around each finger, putting on a show for you. “Taste even more delicious baby” He kneels up and strips off his shirt, and manages to pull off his pants. “How ‘bout you show me your pretty tits baby, so I can see them bounce as I fuck you” He growls, staring you down as you strip the remanding of your clothes off.

You lay back down as Joel crawled back up your body, slotting between your legs, his cock nudging against your thigh. He brings it towards your cunt, moving it up and down, teasing you. “You want my cock darlin’” Joel says against your lips, teasing you even further.

“Yes Joel I want it, please fuck me” Joel chuckles, just putting the tip of his cock in. “I think you can do better than that, beg for it” groaning out in frustration, “For fuck sakes old man just screw my brains out already!” You grip the back of his head and pull his lips to yours in a passionate kiss, this seemed to spark something in Joel.

He slammed into you, pausing to make sure you adjusted to his cock, his thick cock stretched you with just the right amount of length, not too big but real thick. “Shit Jooelll” You groan out, feeling the stretch, he moans out as you clench around him, he breaths in and starts thrusting into you.

He rolls his hips into you at a languid pace, making sure to get his cock as deep as it can go, you could feel his cock rock into you, rubbing against your g-spot with every thrust. “Joel faster~” moaning out as he obliged. He started to set a bruising pace, his cock managing to hit the right spot every time, you clamp around his cock as you came, screaming his name.

Joel groans out as you came, he’s trying to hold out on summing so he could last longer but your sweet pussy has a death grip on his cock. “Fuck darlin’ I’m cumming” He moans out your name as he came, giving a few more thrusts before he pulls out, nearly collapsing on top of you.

“Shit sweetie… that was…” You puffed out, can’t finding the words, feeling half fucked out. “Glad I can still make you breathless darlin’” He curls into you, resting his head on top of your chest. You both cuddle in silence for a while, enjoying each others warmth, you break the silence groaning “We still gotta go shopping to get your brothers present”.

“We can do that later” Joel grunted in response, pulling you closer to him, nuzzling his head into your chest again. His legs wrap around yours as he closes his eyes, “We can just nap for now, too lazy to get up” you chuckle and stroke his hair. “A nap sounds good baby” You get comfy, adjusting the cushions to accommodate both you and Joels bodies.

“Joel?” You asked out to his, closing your eyes, getting a ‘Hmm’ in response. “Do you ever think about our future?” Your question wakes him up, he lifts his head up, leaning on his arm to look at you. “Yeah of course I do” He smiles, looking even more handsome in the late morning sun.

“What exactly do you think about?” You look into his eyes and he smiles again, “Marriage why you askin’” you look sheepishly at him as you respond “We’ve been dating for a good few years, I’m just wondering if it ever crossed your mind, I know we joke about it but I just wanna know where you properly stood”.

He grabs your jaw and kisses you lovingly.

“Christmas is comin’ darlin’ just you wait till then”

#space sisters secret santa 2023 #joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader smut #smut #the last of us fanfic #the last of us

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senka-mesecine · 3 months ago

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Girl gimme a ficlet about Bobby (Barnes 🩷) not being able to sleep after receiving a letter from a girl he left at home ages ago, finding him and checking up on him 💌 😩

love ya,✌🏻 thanks if you do this 😘

Bobby.

Robert Barnes x (Indirect) Reader.

@woman-with-no-name

Suck up O'Neill brought him a letter that morning with the words 'Heya, Bob. Thinkin’ this is for you.’ and twelve hours later, the envelope was still precisely where Barnes left it. That was the way of things.

Next to the poker stack.

In the company of Budweiser cans and emptied ashtrays.

People just didn’t have the habit of touching his things. Didn’t have the balls, more like. So, he could put stuff exactly where he wanted to put them and expect to find them there, not even an inch moved, however many hours or even days later. Was a little test he tended to conduct and the result was always the same. Things intended for him remained where he wanted them to remain and he supposed why he put off reading this particular bit of correspondence was precisely due to who and where it was coming from. Letters made Barnes comfortable, that was the truth of it. He could admit that to himself, couldn’t he? Nobody would hear him in his own head, now would they? Not that he’d ever say it or even talk about the subject but in these four years, the only mail he’d receive was the allotted provisional parcel every limpdick in this platoon got by default. Waterproof matches and cigarettes. Reminders that the outside world existed as such — it tended to give him a whiplash he’d rather cut down by the root so it would cease growing especially when the letters were from you. He recognized the address in an instant, just by throwing a careless glance at it. After all, a no-name hill hamlet former mining settlement not appearing on a map had only two houses. One he grew up in and another, the neighbor’s family down the dirt road. He thought how you’d have to find a way to travel out to Cottage Grove thirty two miles down the nearest highway just to send this fucker.

And now, ten thousand miles away on the other side of the world, he was putin’ off readin’ it. You sack of shit, he thinks, to himself, about himself, biting the bullet, tearing up the envelope, using a knife to cut the glued in paper open.

Read it and get it over with.

‘Bobby.’

The first introductory word hits him like a speeding train and something coils up inside of him.

When was the last time he was called that? Childhood?

Seemingly, in a time that bypassed memory or reason by now.

‘I know you don’t like letters much but I’m of the firm opinion everyone should receive nice words from home every once in a while and I know that approximately a few weeks from now, if everything goes well, you’ll be holding this in your hands and the thought makes me happy because it’ll be like a hug or a long overdue ‘hello’; touching across distances through a piece of paper I had in my hand and that you have in your hand right now seeing as how the biggest event this tiny neighborhood has had in years, maybe even decades, was the day you were deployed and the biggest event is the hope you’ll be tired of fighting and come back. Nothing’s happened since. Not much happens here ever. Life moves slowly. Except thoughts of you. We grew up together, fence against fence, roof against roof, so I’m allowed to say that. You’re missed out here, Robert. Do you know that?’

Barnes looks away, just about ready to crumple up the damn thing and stop reading, paused in his intent perhaps only by the passage about touch and the thought of your fingers holding the pen, the imaginary phantom of your presence lingering like a shadow and he envisions you there, squeezing your hand. Sap. You were always a sap. What were you doing, waitin’ around for him, not living your own damn life? He was tempted to take to the paper himself, feeling like some sort of snot nosed brat wasting time on civilian correspondence, just so he could write you a scathing reply that orders you to move on with yourself and quit deluding yourself. Find a man, he thinks only for the notion to immediately perish once he feels his jaw tighten and he concludes that no — no, the thought of that didn’t feel good at all. Not as effective of a retort as he felt it would've been. You were never a walkin’ back home like a couple, you were just the neighbor’s kid and not much else, but something about you being given away to someone felt like giving away his gun and the last bullet in it. Naked. Stripped. Disarmed.

Jealousy.

Felt like jealousy. Cold and murderous.

He places his arm as a rest under his head instead of a pillow so it would tempt him away from grabbing a nearby bottle and chugging it dry. He keeps reading, fingers squeezing the paper so hard he leaves dents behind. Angry at you, both for waiting around and at the very idea you'd be with someone else. Why he didn't like letters. Precisely for this reason. Did something to his insides.

‘We heard you were wounded a couple of times in combat but as you never write us, we worry. We worry constantly. More so when you kept re-enlisting and extending your contract. I don’t begrudge the lack of letters. I can’t imagine it’s easy writing out there. Can’t imagine a person has the tremendous desire to. It’s a different world; different habits emerge. So I wrote you instead to let you know that I know. I know why pictures don’t ever arrive either. I want you to understand I don’t mind and it changes nothing for me. What kind of friend would I be if it bothered me? I care about you. I love you. I think I always have. Ever since we were kids. That’s so much easier to confess in written words than it is in person although I think I’ll be swallowed up by the floor while just holding the pen. Funny how that works. Getting second hand embarrassment like this. Everything feels so formal and grand in a letter, yet so far away and distant, like writing an imaginary someone. That’s how long I haven’t seen you. Seems a lifetime and a half.’

In a sudden flash of unease, Barnes touches his own face, the scarred part, feeling himself, somehow self conscious even though he was down in the foxhole all by himself, laying down on mattress away from sight, in the shade. In his mind's eye, though, your eyes are right there, so kind he could blind himself purely not to look at them looking at him. Yeah, so? You heard about how many times he was shot? Heard about this face? Heard about how many stitches they needed to pull him back together? What now? Want a medal for it too? He sits up from his bunk, angry, angry at everything and not even sure at what exactly out of the whole goddamn bunch, and then it hits him; he was angry at your acceptance because it was like a limp, soft thing that he could crush in his hand and not even blink. He remembers you as a child. You were sweet then too. The same now as well. The world hasn't changed you. Ruined you in any way. Which is precisely why you should never write here again if you knew what was good for you.

The final lines of the letter traced by his thumb get lost under his touch.

He loathes admitting he wishes there was more.

About anything. Any topic at all.

The weather, how it affected you and whether the crops were good this year.

How many inches you've grown since he's last seen you, if at all.

‘But, Robert — You don’t have to respond, even now. Toss this into a fire once you’re done. Tear it up. Step and spit on it. Just understand that there’s always a home to come back to. And someone who’d receive you with open arms once you do. That’s the point of all of this, ultimately. That you’re so very dear to me.’ With all the love in the world — your cherished friend.

Your words come to an end and all he's faced is a momentary blank, thinking about that concept, there always being a home to come back to, that he was, what'd you say, dear to you? Dear to you. Dear. Dear. He measures to word carefully, testing it, scrutinizing it, head falling back until he's looking up at the earthy ceiling held up by wooden pillars. He wasn't clueless. He knew there was a place to go back to in the technical sense. Walls. A roof. Windows. A patch of soil. But, the thought you were actually waiting? That you loved him? He wanted so badly to label you as stupid, a time-waster, idle and someone throwing away actual years and for what, finding he couldn't do it. Yeah, he loved you too. Just thought you'd wisen up and move on so he could be relieved for once. Relieved that you'd cease holding out and suffering. Unwittingly, perhaps for the first time in years, he imagines himself being there. He sits down at the same dining table as you and the world's suddenly worth a damn again. He folds up the letter, neatly, slowly, and tucks it into the first pocket he can feel up once he hears footsteps, turning eyes towards the root of the sound.

Red.

-"Hey there, Sargerooney? Letter, huh?"-

O'Neill bumbles, a half-smoked cigarette hanging from his mouth, seeming fidgety and nervous, like he was expecting praise for a job well done but Barnes almost finds he can't be profoundly pissed off at the guy. Not today. Maybe some other time, just not exactly now. Feeling, perhaps, internally grateful. For bringing him this. Bringing him you. Having the good sense not to touch you. Open you up. He says nothing in response, humming, at best, as a retort, deciding to give Red a good, hard stare instead. He felt that was more than sufficient, still pondering you and reaching out across that table where you'd write your letter to hold your hand. The hills of East Tennessee are frozen and as cold as a dog's bone in his mind, cooling off the searing humidity of the jungle; the war's over and he stays there with you in a snowfall that never ends, cutting off all roads to everywhere and anywhere. It's you and him. Nobody else in the mist. Barnes doesn't sleep that night by choice, hand pressed over the pocket containing your torn envelope. You're right there, sleepin' with him.

Tomorrow, he decides he'll go back to reality.

#platoon #platoon 1986 #robert barnes #bob barnes #bob barnes x reader #robert barnes x reader #platoon imagine #platoon imagines #robert barnes imagine #robert barnes imagines #bob barnes imagines #robert barnes headcanon #robert barnes headcanons #bob barnes headcanons #bob barnes headcanon

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dearestones · 1 year ago

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Driving Under the Infl-Yuu-Ence (Jade Leech and Yuu)

Warnings: N/A.

@lottieinlimbo Request: hi Devin!! Hope you’re having a good day today!! For request, I’m thinkin prompt 72 from the list “Make me believe it” with Jade Leech, maybe somethin platonic? Lookin forward to what you cook up, I know it’ll be amazing!! :D

It's not often that Jade finds himself surprised, much less taken aback and rendered speechless. For a moment, he has to take a step back (not literally, even though instincts demand that he create distance between himself and a somewhat dangerous situation) and reassess. It's another few seconds of contemplation before he curls his fingers underneath his chin before regarding Yuu with a curious, but wary gaze.

"Pardon me, Yuu, I don't believe that I heard you correctly. You wanted to... What exactly?" While eloquence was often the weapon that his dear business associate Azul would use, Jade is just as skilled. However, in this situation that made the phantom limbs of his tails and fins quiver in apprehension, he faltered in his manner of speech.

Although his face remained impassive, he cringed inwardly. To speak so carelessly! And what's worse, with vulnerability!

Thank goodness neither his brother nor his business associate were here to witness such... a weak performance from him. Blackmail was worth its weight in madol and blackmail concerning Jade nearly tripled that.

Yuu, to their credit, didn't seem to notice. If they did, they wisely chose not to comment. Instead, they nodded in the direction of their car, an older model that ran on a mixture of electricity and magic. While Yuu had no magic of their own, they were roommates with a few mages who were more than eager to power up the vehicle with their reserves so long as they could use the car from time to time.

It had been years since Jade and Yuu had graduated from Night Raven College, but it seemed that the acquaintanceship that had blossomed during their time in the institution had gradually blossomed into a tentative friendship. This relationship, however, while in full bloom, did not last long once he had graduated. The rift was not because of ill will or malcontent, but rather, it was because it was life getting in the way of connection. While Yuu was busy with their internship, Jade returned to the sea. Over the course of a couple months, the both of them barely spoke to each other, if at all.

Upon his return to his birthplace, Jade had taken over his father’s business alongside his brother. Although he had long since resigned himself to committing to his family's operations under the sea while his brother expanded on land, he still visited the surface from time to time. It was rare, but each time he breached the surface, it always felt like an occasion worth celebrating.

So, with Jade walking upon land very rarely, it was quite a shock to his heart to find Yuu once again.

Was it a stroke of luck?

Destiny?

Azul would have laughed at that notion, but Jade was a bit more easy to sway.

What else could it have been other than some otherworldly force? Unless it was a coincidence: the universe’s attempt at a joke. Whatever the case, Jade stopped in his tracks when he saw the former Ramshackle Prefect again after he had left Floyd behind at a club, the sounds of synth beats and drunken laughter reverberating in the air.

As always, they were small and slight—but Jade supposed that anyone would have looked small and slight compared to him. What he found most shocking however, was that they looked rather well. Back in Night Raven College, it was no surprise due to their background that they were always wearing clothing that was ill fitting and were usually stressed with heavy bags under their eyes. They also seemed to move as if their mind was miles away… What was that phrase again? Head in the clouds? Daydreaming, some would say. Homesick, maybe.

Tonight, however, they were dressed in casual clothing. While not designer, they were not ragged or threadbare. They were also bereft of the logo for NRC. In fact, Jade didn't have to wonder if Yuu had bought the garments themself. The clothing suited them well and made them shine despite the darkness of night.

Normally, Jade would have left them to their own devices. After all, it had been almost... He wanted to say five years since they last spoke but it may have been longer considering that they were never too close in the first place. Really, the Ramshackle Prefect spoke more with Floyd and Azul and that was usually because of the former’s propensity for seeking out entertainment and the latter’s attempts to get Mostro Lounge full staffed.

It would have been easy to just leave. Walk away.

However, while not as big a partier as Floyd, Jade had a few drinks in his system and was feeling the effects of hastily prepared liquor still warming his system.

Land dwellers were so interesting, if a bit masochistic at times.

Jade had to take transformation potions just so that he could properly blend in with the rest of the surface population. Land dwellers intentionally poisoned their bodies with drinks that were more fire than liquid. At least when merfolk decided to poison themselves, they didn’t try to disguise it with ornate glasses and delicate garnishes.

So, with steps that were reminiscent of his gait during his first few months in Night Raven College, Jade ambled towards the former Ramshackle Prefect to… Well, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, only that he knew that where the Prefect went, entertainment was sure to follow. Years may have passed, but he had a feeling that even if they were to never see each other again come morning, he would still have a fun night at the very least.

And so, Jade walked up to them as they leaned against the side of their car, their phone in hand and a questioning look in their eyes. His eyes weren’t as keen as most land dwellers, but he could practically taste the apprehension in the air, of the fear that he often associated with those who couldn’t pay back his family’s benevolence. However, the scent of fear was dialed back significantly, when he was close enough to see the whites of the former Prefect’s eyes. Alongside recognition, there was confusion, but also a hint of relief.

Imagine that, he couldn’t help but chuckle softly to himself. It wasn’t often that others would regard him with relief upon recognizing him, but the Prefect had always been a curious oddity.

“Good evening, Prefect,” he greeted cordially. To his utter delight, he realized that while he may not be as mindful of his physical capabilities, his speech was still fluent and coherent. As long as he remained standing and didn’t act out of the ordinary, his companion would be none the wiser. “It’s been… How long? Five years?”

The small human looked up at him with a slight smile on their face. “Just Yuu,” they reminded him. “It’s been years since I graduated and it’s not like I need reminders of that place.”

Odd, was that bitterness? How fascinating. While most would agree that their experiences at their alma maters may not lead to a positive remembrance, Jade thought they would have been more fond of the institution. Yes, there were Overblots, but they were rather comfortable with making friends from all the dorms with special mention to Heartslabyul. Had Jade misjudged? Or had the years finally made the Pref—apologies, Yuu—cynical?

Or, more appropriately, jaded?

“Something funny, Jade?”

Oh my, how inconsiderate of him. He must have drank a milliliter too much if he was already making mistakes this early in the conversation.

As if taken back to his years at Night Raven College, Jade bent slightly at the waist, the angle just a bit more pronounced. Throughout his bow, he watched as Yuu regarded him with amusement.

It had been years, but it was somewhat surreal to see Yuu appear so confident and self-assured. No longer were they the sort of person who kowtowed to those stronger than them and appeared too tired to question the whims of others. Even now, Jade was somewhat surprised that they still chose to help their fellow first year friends get rid of the anemones even though they would benefit very little from the negotiation while also risking losing their housing.

Had Yuu learned from this experience?

Or was it from the combination of harrowing experiences that Night Raven College had seen fit to throw at them despite their having no magic?

It made Jade want to explore further. To push them to know who they really were underneath their newly bought clothes and fresh skin.

But that would be an adventure for tomorrow’s Jade should he still harbor the same curiosity that consumed tonight’s Jade entire being.

Tonight, this Jade merely wanted to pass the time.

“Apologies, tonight has been… an experience that I have not had the opportunity to pursue too often under the sea.” He smiled, his mouth gaping just a hair bigger than he normally afforded to acquaintances. Pride filled him when he saw that the former Prefect neither shied away or stared at him in disgust. Really, he must be losing his touch or perhaps Yuu was too adjusted to be scared of him anymore.

Should he change that?

Yuu canted their head to their right, their brows furrowing in concern and nose scrunching a little before they gasped in shock—or was it delight?—and regarded him with a new light.

“Are you drunk?”

Without missing a beat, Jade answered, “Are you suggesting that I cannot laugh at an inside joke without being accused of being intoxicated?”

He pressed a hand over his heart and inclined his head in mock melancholy. To add a dash of drama, he sniffed faintly and looked askance as if he could not bear to look his companion in the eye. This sort of performance would have rewarded him with a punch to the shoulder if it were Floyd or an annoyed scoff from Azul. From Yuu, he merely saw them look at him with an expression so deadpan, he feared that their face would freeze that way.

“Truly, we reunite after years of separation and that’s how you treat me? Never before have I felt so wounded!”

He sniffled and mimed wiping away an artful trail of tears down his cheek.

Was it a performance that would have awarded him the same laud as one VIl Schoenheit? Obviously not, but he would like to think that he was a good contender for a starring role in community theatre.

Yuu rolled their eyes, but laughed all the same.

As if on cue, Jade relaxed from his stance, his shoulders no longer as straight or rigid as he normally would have made them on land. In water, he was free to lounge and allow his body to twist and writhe whatever way he wanted to. Most merfolk were lax when it came to posturing and stances; deference was either owed to royalty or to the biological, inherent pecking order that everyone, prey and predator included, knew. On land, though, Jade had been taught that appearances were everything. Floyd had discarded that notion (unless clothing and accessories were involved), often playing up his more extraverted mannerisms to achieve the same effect as Jade, but Jade had decided to play along with land dweller customs.

It was tiresome, but it gave him something to do.

After all, if one were to be used to routine, it became all the more entertaining when Jade decided to switch it up.

He was slouching now—was it due to the alcohol? he would have to do some more research on the matter later—but he was careful not to appear too out of character. It would be funny to see Yuu second guess themself and question if the eel mer they were talking to was actually Floyd, but Jade wasn’t interested in that.

Yet.

He could play that card later if he got bored.

“Geeze,” Yuu breathed out as they leaned against their car door. “You never change, do you? Last I heard, you were building up your family’s business, right?”

Jade grinned. Wider now. Perhaps more ominous underneath the low lighting. “Correct. My father left my brother and I equal shares, but the both of us can be greedy so we decided to expand.”

“That’s great to hear! I’m still in school at the moment.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m not good at much, but apparently Beast Taming is sort of my calling?” They shrugged as if the utter idea was still ludicrous after years of tending to their overly ambitious cat beast. “Grim’s not here, but he and I are partners and are planning on hosting classes at some of the lower level magical colleges in Pyroxene. It’s not a popular subject considering that most mages don’t have familiars anymore, but we’re hoping to revive the art.”

“So you’re planning on becoming a professor then?”

Their responding smile was shy, but there was a hint of pride there. Maybe even a little bit of embarrassment for confessing something so vulnerable in their mannerisms. “Hahaha, yeah. It’s a good thing Ace and Deuce aren’t here. They’d probably give me flack for personally shoving a stick up my ass.”

Jade chuckled despite himself. “Come now, most of our professors weren’t that bad.”

“Oh, really?” They raised an eyebrow as if in challenge. “Remember that time Crewel made his entire batch of third years scrub out the cauldrons because someone contaminated the supply of beetroot with their personal experiments?”

Ah! Jade had pleasantly vague memories of that debacle… “I shudder to think of the day I would ever forget that incident.” A dramatic pause. “It was actually my potionology project for my thesis that contaminated the rest of those semester’s assignments.”

Yuu’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. How are you still alive?”

Jade shrugged before placing a finger against his lips. “Unlike some of our much rowdier contemporaries, I never got caught. It was an unfortunate event that everyone was punished, but… Collateral damage is something that I’ve come to expect, especially in my line of work.”

He may not have been watching Yuu directly when he murmured that last part, but he knew that their wide eyes were filled with apprehension at what he implied. How entrancing. How much did they know about his family’s business? And how much would they be willing to find out?

And then—

Laughter. Pure, childlike, unadulterated laughter.

“Pffttt, hahahaha!” The small human was practically doubled over in laughter, their entire body leaning against the body of their car as if they would fall without its support. Knowing how fragile some humans were, Jade wasn’t too surprised at the sight. What caused him to do a double take was the teasing glint in their eyes and the utter joy that they regarded him with.

It wasn’t every day that someone would look up to him like that.

It was a pity that his mental faculties were compromised. He would have liked to remember this moment for some time. To dissect. Or to ponder whenever he would think about the intricacies and mysteries upon the surface.

“And may I ask what strikes you as funny?”

Yuu didn’t answer. Instead, they waved him off as they chuckled, but eventually straightened from their doubled over posture.

“I just… When I saw you skulking out of the shadows, I thought I was about to get jumped! And now? This?” They waved their hands about in an aimless, purpless direction. As if actions alone could properly convey their confusion at the situation. “Talk about tonal whiplash, Jade. You’re a horror movie waiting to happen, but instead, I get something straight out of a… out of a…” The former Prefect frowned to themself before adding in a hushed, but near mortified tone of voice, “Like a comedy? Maybe?”

Jade stifled a laugh, his posture rounding itself out as he tried to keep himself from bowling over in mirth. “I’ve never considered myself a stand up comic, but who knows? Maybe I might pursue that endeavor in the future if my current career path does not pan out.”

The both of them shared a laugh for a few more moments, but eventually, the Prefect straightened up from leaning against their car. A quick glance at their phone must have alerted them to something if their little gasp of shock was anything to go by.

Even though Jade was still smiling placidly, he couldn't help but feel his brows furrow in disappointment. He was slowly sobering and it seemed now that he was in better charge of his mental faculties, he was finally getting the entertainment he so desperately craved. Parties were fun and all—especially if all Jade had to do to get information was to smile prettily and say the right words—but they were tiring and the company usually devolved in likability as the night wore on.

"Leaving already?"

Yuu shrugged before sending him a considering glance. "How about you? Got somewhere you need to be?"

"Not necessarily, but I wouldn't mind heading back to my quarters sooner rather than later."

Jade laughed at Yuu’s confused look at his strange choice of words.

"My hotel room," he amended. "I don't have permanent residence on land so when I come up for business matters, I tend to stay in other establishments."

"Why not stay with Floyd?"

Jade hummed. "He can be territorial at times and I also have my own needs. Besides, money is no object for either of us."

Yuu scoffed at that admission, their eyes glancing at Jade's clothing. As always, well dressed even if it was for something that didn't require high end fashion. "You don't say."

"I don't. I simply wear what I'm worth."

Eventually, Jade gave Yuu the address to a hotel on the outskirts of the city. The hotel itself was actually high end and was considered more of a resort rather than a simple hotel. Located near the white sandy beaches upon which it was located, the guests would be able to enjoy the view of the seaside and the horizon meeting each other in a holy matrimony of beauty and natural phenomena.

Surprisingly, the recommendation came from Floyd, but Jade supposed that he shouldn't be too surprised. Despite Floyd's love of chaos, his tastes upon land bordered on extravagance.

The multitude of closets he had just for his accessories and shoes...

Yuu, to their credit, didn't bat an eye at Jade's address for the hotel. Instead, they nodded and loaded up the address onto their phone's GPS and began backing out of their parking space and out onto the main road.

As Yuu began a steady pace towards their destination, Jade fiddled with his seatbelt, feeling mildly restrained—almost as if he were suffocating. After all of these years, there were still many aspects of land dwelling culture that he had not become accustomed to yet. Clothing had been a challenge, especially in his first few months masquerading as a human, but transportation? Seatbelts were a nuisance—how did land dwellers deal with being smashed against the seats like this?

Furthermore, Jade didn't feel particularly safe; rather, it felt as if the surface liked to discover ways to give themselves a harder time to live their lives and/or seek death faster.

The enclosed space in the car was fine—Jade lived and grew up in enclosed spaces when learning how to ambush prey—but the windshield and the windows didn't provide the cover that he preferred. At the very least, the car that Yuu was driving had tinted windows, but instinct had Jade being hypervigilant, always expecting danger.

"Feel free to change the music station." Yuu offered as they used their turn signal, the sound of which provided a steady, mechanical drumbeat against the backdrop of a crooning voice. "I don't have a preference."

It took a second for Jade's eyes to adjust to the darkness in the car, but he eventually found the knob that would change stations. At this time of night and this far out of the main city, most stations were either late night talk shows with a few channels playing pop songs that Jade wasn't too fond of or the occasional radio silence. After going through a multitude of channels, Jade finally gave up and tuned into a station that played songs from decades past.

"Didn't take you for a disco kind of guy."

"I'm not." Jade returned to running his fingers up and down against the fabric of the seatbelt. For something that restrained him, the strange texture of it was oddly soothing against his finger pads. "It seems that my tastes will not be catered to tonight. A shame, but land dweller music has never ranked high on what I prefer to listen to."

Or maybe it was because Jade hadn't exposed himself to land dweller music all that often. Even when he had been a full time student at Night Raven College, he preferred to study or hike in silence as opposed to grabbing a pair of headphones and checking out the latest trends in pop or what have you. It was Floyd who loved the synthesized instruments in pop music, the erratic thrum of rock and metal, and how innovative the surface dwelling folk could be when cobbling together a passable tune.

That was part of the reason why Jade could not stand to stay at the club any longer than he had to. The alcohol eased his frustrations somewhat, but he could attest that for the majority of merfolk, their preferences and standards for what passed as music and musical was leagues above what the surface dwellers could ever hope to replicate.

"Hmm? What sort of music do you listen to then?"

Jade cast a glance at his companion, waited until they gave him a questioning glance, before answering with, "Whalesong."

It was a good thing that the road they were on was mostly bereft of other travelers because for a few crucial instants, Yuu nearly lost control of their driving. Their shock was gratifying and it soothed the primal instinct in Jade that wanted to rip himself out of his self-imposed bindings, but both their lives could be in danger had the road been bustling with traffic.

"W-whalesong!? Like whales go into recording studios and like? Make music?"

Jade didn't even try disguising his laugh this time.

Was this the same Prefect who went to Night Raven College around the same time as him? Yes, he remembered that there was a spark in them, a fire that Jade had yearned to see stamped out from time to time, but he never got around to committing to those thoughts, especially when the winter holidays had come immediately after the end of term exams. And then the Overblots. The arrival of summer. And so on and so on.

Had he known that they were this interesting...

Ah, he supposed that maybe he should convince Yuu to stay in touch with him. Perhaps he was still suffering the lingering effects of the alcohol and was thus was feeling more impulsive than usual, but this interaction was interesting.

Yuu's questions were interesting.

Yuu's reactions were interesting.

Yuu was interesting.

"Whalesong," Jade repeated again. He turned to face the road again, watching how the path began to grow slightly narrower to accommodate the forested landscape. "Did you know that sound travels faster and clearer in water? You would have to have the same skeletal structure of merfolk to fully appreciate their tunes, but it's like a lullaby that haunts the ocean for miles. It reverberates through your body, reminding you that no matter how large or dangerous you are, there will always be something above you in the theoretical food chain. You may not realize it, but whales can be quite dangerous."

He fell silent, eyes falling close.

There was no danger here—not unless Yuu lost control of their car.

"Not that I would know what it’s like to be put into my place on land, of course. Here, I rank quite high if I may say so."

"And humble too."

At that point, Yuu was turning into the hotel's private property. Up ahead, there was a guardhouse with one of its security personnel already waving them forward. At the security guard's insistence, Yuu surrendered their license with the guarantee that they would receive it once they left the premises. After confirming that Jade was a guest at the hotel, they were allowed to pass and go straight onto the grounds.

The hotel grounds were expansive, and again, Jade had to stifle a laugh when he heard Yuu mutter to themself about "rich people and their tastes". As Yuu drove through the veritable obstacle course that made up the grounds before the actual main building, Jade made idle commentary on the scenery they passed.

There were the tennis and basketball courts, a swimming pool for those who didn't want to brave the ocean (and for good reason, Jade was from there and the locals weren't always the nicest), and a few other facilities the rich and famous would like to make use of. Eventually, they made their way to the parking lot, which was insisted upon by Jade. Before going to his room, he would like to take a walk to further clear his head and maybe, if he was feeling particularly adventurous, he might venture into the frigid depths of the ocean before sleeping.

He said as much to Yuu who parked the car at the furthest point from the main hotel building.

"You mean you weren't already feeling adventurous? I thought that you were at some elite club or something. Most people would be too tired to even think about swimming at this hour."

Smiling toothily at his companion, Jade admitted, "It was a rather dull affair. For someone like me, I much prefer something more... challenging." The liquor helped and didn't help at the same time.

"Whatever you say, Jade."

As Yuu pressed a button on their side to unlock the doors, they paused for a moment, as if a thought had come to them. Observant as he was, Jade knew that something was on their mind and was patient to stay a moment longer, his long fingers resting on the car door handle.

"Hmm... but is walking or swimming alone at night considered challenging?" There was mischief in their tone, an inside joke that only they were privy to at the moment. It piqued Jade's curiosity, but only slightly. "Why not... push past your boundaries?"

"What an idea," Jade murmured. "What are you proposing?"

Yuu tapped their fingers upon the steering wheel. "You know, I've never seen you drive a car before."

And just like that, Jade wrenched the door wide open and leaped out of the car as if he had caught on fire. It was only because he had years of practice as a courteous land dweller that he managed to remember to bid the small human goodbye.

"Apologies, I do believe that my bed is calling me at this hour. Goodnight and farewell, dear Yuu. I'll take my lea—"

"Nuh-uh." Yuu may not have been as fast as Jade, but they could certainly manipulate their limbs quicker than what he remembered. It seems that being pushed to their limits under Coach Vargas' tutelage did them some good in the long run. "I brought you to this place out of the goodness of my heart, which merits a reward."

Ah. They certainly have changed over the years, haven't they?

"A good deed that must be repaid isn't done out of the goodness of one's heart, Yuu."

"That's rich coming from you. If I recall, wasn’t that your modus operandi during our years at Night Raven?"

Jade smiled a thin sort of smile.

Would he be able to stomach running away from a human as small as Yuu? Or shall he suffer this farce for much longer?

"Perhaps."

"Hmmm.... So maybe it's not because you've suddenly turned over a new leaf, but I think it might be because you're afraid."

"Afraid?" Jade couldn't help but scoff, all sense of composure leaving him before he had to manually instruct himself to calm down. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say that… But I am… Rather alarmed.”

It took Jade a second too long to realize that it was a mistake to admit to his fear.

“Are you saying that the stoic and calm Jade Leech is too unnerved—rattled, mayhap?—to even dare getting behind the wheel and—gasp!—actually learn how to drive?” Yuu swooned against their car, a pitiful invalid.

Jade crossed his arms, making sure to force his body to sway gently so as to appear drunker than he felt. “Might I remind you that I’m not sober? It’s against the law to imbibe before driving.”

Yuu shot him a disbelieving glance.

“...I see. The great and illustrious Jade Leech has fallen victim to Rosehearts Syndrome. A disease that has its roots in the pursuit of perfection, appeasing to a higher order that will never listen to you, immediate and absolute obedience to the rules and—”

“I am nothing like Riddle.”

“Oh, really?” Their eyes sparkled once more underneath the streetlight. “Prove it. Make me believe that Jade Leech still spits in the name of conventionality because he got too bored to pay his dues to polity.”

And Jade knew what tactic that Yuu was using at that very moment. It was the oldest trick in Jade’s book. This baiting was meant for day old fry who had not yet tried to chase after a worm on a hook. Yet…

And yet…

If they were caught, Jade could easily buy his way out of a jail cell and if he were feeling particularly generous, he’d even bail out this little shrimp who dared mouth at him like this. As if Jade hadn’t penned the rule book concerning mental subterfuge and psychological warfare and manipulation.

Jade held out a hand. “The keys, if you will.”

Yuu grinned, an impish affair that only irritated Jade slightly. "The keys are already in the ignition, silly eel!"

This was going to be more troublesome than he thought it would be, wasn't it?

And it certainly was. For the next half hour or so, Jade had to learn how to navigate the many parts of the car. From the way he had to adjust the seat and the rearview mirror, how to place his hands upon the steering wheel, and realize that, yes, the stick in the middle of the driver and the passenger seats did indeed serve a purpose. For the most part, Yuu was actually a good teacher, if a bit mischievous at times. Despite his reservations, it seemed that Yuu had caught onto his concern and allowed him to test out the car's various capabilities without letting the car move from its parked space.

Slowly, Jade acquainted himself with the accelerator and how the machine rumbled underneath his feet, how he need only apply the slightest amount of pressure before the car answered in kind.

Eventually, though—

"I think you're ready."

"To go to sleep?"

And that's when Yuu released the handbrake and put the car into drive.

To say that the next half hour was a disaster was an... anticlimactic understatement.

Jade hit the accelerator and drove the car at the breakneck speed of... ten kilometers per hour. It was slow going, but eventually, Jade began to crawl his way to a much faster pace.

"Great, you're learning!" Jade dared not look away from the road lest he accidentally cause an accident that could blow up the entire resort. "Now that you can drive in a relatively straight line... let's start turning corners!"

Another obstacle that Jade would have loved to let Yuu handle, but it was rather unfortunate that he was stuck behind the wheel and beholden to the driving laws.

Again, it was rather anticlimactic, but with the way Jade felt his hands tremble every so often and that he had to consciously remind himself that he had to breathe, it was almost as if the world was collapsing upon him. As someone who was born and raised in the sea, it was a rather terrifying thought.

Still, though, jerky movements gradually transitioned into something more fluid and slightly resembling that of a seasoned driver's actions. Furthermore, he no longer had to rely so much on Yuu's encouragement and murmurs of adjustment that he rearrange his hands or to relax his posture. In fact, he began to feel like he was learning to walk all over again when he was in land boot camp.

Before he knew it, he made a full circle around the parking lot while also obeying all the signs and markers on the road.

It was utterly slow and Jade wasn't very smooth when making the appropriate left turns, but he did manage to press down on the turn signals when necessary and he even stopped for a passing pedestrian! Success, although somewhat trivial to all other accomplishments that Jade had under his belt, still made him beam with pride. (Muted pride, though, he couldn't quite admit that he was happy that Yuu had convinced him to step outside of his boundaries).

When Jade slowly approached to a stop in front of the hotel doors (finally), Yuu gestured for him to put the car in park. "Feeling tired? I think you've improved enough that I'll let you go. For now."

He smiled.

Then the words and full extent of the meaning finally dawned on him.

"For now?"

Yuu nodded, a gleeful smile on their face. "Well, how else can I refill my fuel gauge? With the amount of magic you've got pouring in, the tank refilled within minutes!"

Jade checked the dashboard.

Damn.

"What was that one term you land dwellers use when you dupe someone? Pull the wool over someone's eyes? Getting hustled?" Jade shook his head in faux disappointment. "And here I thought that you were a person of high standing."

"Hello, pot. Meet kettle. The both of you are black."

Jade wasn't sure what that saying meant, but he laughed nonetheless and resolved that he would have to look up what pots and kettles had to do with colors.

“Good night, Yuu. Perhaps we can talk at a later date.

Yuu seemed unsure at first, which only made Jade concerned, but before he could assure them that he didn’t expect them to follow through, they nodded.

“Sure thing, Jade.” A beat. “Maybe I’ll teach you how to drive donuts!”

Do... Donuts?

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland jade #twst jade #jade leech #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu #dearestones #devintrinidad

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mephinomaly · 2 years ago

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[TL] Howling at the Stars/Chapter 2

Kaoru: So? Are there any photos that stand out to you?

Koga: How about this one? You can see a glimpse of my rock-ness.

Kaoru: A glimpse…? It screams “I love rock”.

What do you think about this one? It’s not really candid, but… it’s a cute photo.

Koga: We already decided no! I ain’t lookin’ for cuteness~!

Kaoru: Mm okay…if you insist.

Hnng~...well it’s already late, let’s stop for today.

Koga: Oh yeah… that’s my bad, Hakaze-senpai. I made ya come with me today ‘n then just complained the whole time.

Kaoru: It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Besides, I did this to help you with your Feature Live.

Because if you don’t like it now, you won’t have a good live.

Koga: Yeah, thanks Hakaze-senpai. But I didn’t think it would be this hard t’take candid photos…

Kaoru: Well, we both might have different definitions of what classes as candid.

I wanted to capture more of “everyday Koga-kun” but I’m getting the feeling you want to appear cool all the time.

Koga: Huh? Are you complimentin’ or insultin’ me?

Kaoru: We’ll go with complimenting. I think it’s just part of being an idol and being a professional.

So what’s next on the agenda, Koga-kun?

I’m going to grab a snack and then go back to the dorms, you wanna come with?

Koga: …Nah, thanks anyway.

I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout it all. Maybe the night air will smack some sense into me.

Kaoru: Alright then. Don’t stay out too late, okay? I’ll see you later.

Koga: (...What’s my ‘natural stance’? Is it not just lookin’ cool?)

GyahhhHH! I don’t get anythin’! What the fuck am I supposed t’be doin’!?

…Huh? Who just poked me on the shoulder?

Anzu?! What are you doin’ loiterin’ around at this time of night?

You’re havin’ a break~? The hell are you still workin’ for?

You’ve almost finished so it doesn’t matter~? When are you leavin’? You’re not plannin’ on walkin’ home alone, are you?

Jesus, man. Tell me when you’re goin’ home. I’ll wait for you.

If you think it’s bad for me t’wait for you then you shoulda finished earlier. Walkin’ home at night alone ain’t good.

…Whilst we’re here ‘n you’re on break, can I speak t’ya for a sec?

It’s about the candid shots for the Feature Live pamphlet. How’d everyone else do?

I asked Hakaze-senpai t’help me out today but I still don’t really get it.

–Ah, right. Others had trouble with it too.

Thanks for tellin’ me that, Anzu. It’ll be a good reference for later.

But I really need t’sit down ‘n have a proper think about it…

Hm? Hey, Anzu. Look at the sky. That’s pretty amazin’!

Didn’t think I’d ever see so many shootin’ stars. Didn’t realise this was supposed t’be today, either.

…? Oi, Anzu. Are you even listenin’ t’me?

(...No reply from Anzu, the bastard. Far too focused on the sky. Tch, makes them look like a brat with the stars twinklin’ in their eyes.)

If yer so fascinated by the stars, why don’t ya make a wish?

Hm…It’s no fun just wishin’ for somethin’ to come true. Only you can make your dreams come true.

…What. What’s with that look?

Why did I just suddenly say that? ‘Cos you was lookin’ at the stars ‘n it just made me think.

Tch…Whatever. It’s nothing. Forget I even said anythin’.

...

…Earlier, Hakaze-senpai said he wanted to take pictures of someone like you.

Don’t make that face, Anzu! I’m talkin’ ‘bout candid pictures.

If I had a camera, I woulda taken a picture of you lookin’ at the stars.

Haa? You woulda taken a pic of my smug face when I said “only you can make your dreams come true”?!

Didn’t I tell you to forget about me sayin’ that! Stop with the teasin’!

…Huh? You’re not teasin’?

If you’d captured my face earlier, the fans woulda love it? Do ya think so, Anzu?

U-Uh, right… ‘course. Well, if you say so I can try again.

…Anyway, back to what I was sayin’. I spent all day thinkin’ about what a candid ‘me’ photo would be.

I think yer face just a second ago woulda been a good candid. But I dunno how I’m supposed t’do it.

I want my fans t’see a cool side of me. Whatever it’s called, it’s troublin’ me.

So that’s why my Feature Live’s gonna be jam packed with all the things I find cool.

I don’t want the pamphlet to just be boring ol’ me, but showin’ a cool me too.

That’s why they wanted them to be candid photos…

…Huh? Why don’t I try changin’ the direction of the project?

It’s my live so I should do things that I wanna do?

Hehe, thanks for listenin’ to me be selfish, Anzu. Talkin’ to ya was real good ♪

I somehow feel lighter now. It’s a good feelin’, the night air.

…Hm? Oh, there’s more shootin’ stars. Am I wishing for my live to go well?

I told ya to forget what I said, but it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Like I said, only you can make your dreams come true. So I’m not wishin’ for anythin’.

…But it would be totally rock to say it out loud.

Oi stars! My wish is that fools all around the world have their souls shaken by my rock music!

No matter where you are, I’ll make sure no-one can ignore my performance! That’s what I want out of my live!

Hehe… you’re givin’ me a weird look. C’mon, say somethin’ with me.

I need Anzu to make my dreams come true. You ready or what? ♪

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #koga fs2 #koga oogami #kaoru hakaze

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pumpkinstrawbrew · 4 months ago

Note

Is there a particular part or scene in your Suckerpunch fic which you consider your favorite?

mmm, i don’t think that i have one yet. i might be in the process of writing it now tbh. it was a while since i wrote smth of that specific nature *no outright spoilers atm* but this kind of stuff tends to make me giddy.

but i suppose, if i had to pick from what i’ve already written there, it’ll be batman an’ scarecrow’s confrontation in the third chapter. it was pretty fun writing a scene, where jonathan gets pant feeling an’ has to avoid making the bat suspicious about it. but fails, bc batman searches him up for his usual weapons, an’ crane panics bc if he will get find out, he'd be screwed. no way to live that one down.

there is a few things in that fic that i never written before, including enemy on enemy ‘clash’, funny enough. but either way, them latching onto one another in a fight is a good material. part of why i love superhero media is how you can combo fights / stand offs with other things, an' it still can look graceful or like a touch with extra meaning.

an' speaking of touch, i’m not sure why, but before actually getting down to read batman comics, i was thinkin’ so uh bat an’ scarecrow barely touch each other or smth...?

i was only familiar with btas / arkhamverse stuff. but i was wondering if in the comics, there isn’t anything to go by, just bc…i dunno. i guess, i’m used to live on scraps, when it comes to my otps lol.

but i was surprised to be wrong. there are things to pick from, if one wants. the panel, where batman blows jon’s toxin into his face by his mouth is ddly intimate an’ hot. but then again, those two issues are top notch for me. same with kings of fear. that artists really gave me all the most tasty scarebat visuals.

an' with all that 'food' in mind, i wanted to try an' write smth like that. a scuffle between hero an’ his villain that is typical an’ usual for both of them, but with that tingle of a horny tilt. i also prob a bit bias to third chapter of that fic on main, bc it’s the point, when i decided where i want to take it.

it’ll be interesting to look at the whole story in retrospect at some point!

anyho', thank you a lot for asking me about my fic! i really love that hobby of mine, but i’m always afraid, that i come off sounding like a pretentious jerk about it. i hope it didn't sound this way.

#❓

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van-der-linde-worms · 2 years ago

Text

Take Your Cigarette From Its Holder, Burn Your Initials On My Shoulder

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/ Mary Gillis Linton

Fic summary: AU in which Mary is wanted for the murder of her husband and that of her father, and Arthur is a bounty hunter going after her.

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Idiots in love, slow burn

~~~~~~

Chapter XIII: Unrequited

Word count: 7980

Last chapter: Chapter XII

“Hey, Arthur!” Mary calls out from the kitchen. “ ‘fore it gets too cold, I was figuring we could head out for a little camping trip. It’s clear out anyway.” Mary pauses for a moment. “You know anything about constellations?”

“Stars? Eh, I know the north star I guess,” he mutters as he stretches his arms. “When do ya wanna go then?”

“What'd you say about today?”

He looks up at her as he picks up his pants from the floor. “Today? Hm, can't blame ya for getting bored, being stuck here all day 'n stuff.”

“So, it's a yes then?” she asks, just loud enough for him to hear her over the sizzling of whatever she is cooking in the pot.

“'course.” He puts on his shirt and makes his way to her. He can hear a faint laughter and his arms encircle her waist, making his heart flutter.

A blissful sigh escapes his mouth as he nuzzles his jaw against her hair. The top of her head is just at the perfect height for his chin to rest on. His arms tighten around her, the soft smell of her hair is almost heavenly to him.

“What's a good time then?” she asks. Arthur lets out a low croon and looks down at the colourless, chunky mix in the pan.

“We ain’t in a hurry. What’re you making anyway? Eggs?”

“It’s oatmeal. I uh, didn’t have coffee so I grabbed the wrong dish. It’ll be fine, just slather some jam on there, it’ll be fine,” she reassures herself. Arthur looks away and shuts his eyes, he could have sworn whatever the eldritch menace in the pot is certainly isn’t oatmeal.

“Looks fine,” Arthur lies.

“I just had a look in the news and I read some comet’s supposed to pass earth around this month!” Mary gushes. “I’ve heard they’re so pretty.”

“It’d be nice to get out with you again, Mary. We ain’t done anything since…” Arthur trails off.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking of. I think near that decrepit old ranch would be nice, there’s lots of open space and the view is just gorgeous.”

“Sure.” Frankly it sounds rather romantic, but he doesn’t dare get his own hopes up. She’d been so kind to him, despite the situation. If only it could be anything more.

“So, if we head out around eight, I think we should head out on foot this time. I think it should be safe, no bears or anything.” she twirls around, her skirt hits his shin ever so gently. She stands on her toes and steals a kiss from his lips. She finds one of the jars and quickly pops it open. Arthur nods and moves the pot from the hot stove.

“Ain’t you energetic?” he begins shoveling the odd food onto plates, unsure of whether to add knives and forks or spoons to go beside them.

“Well, I’d just like to spend some time with you again. It’s lonely out there, on your own,” she slaps a spoonful of their sweet jelly on the chunks, trying to mask it. She steadily adds more. Arthur grabs his plate before she can add more.

“Thank you.” Mary stops a spoonful later. The two sit down again.

A look of slight discontent spreads across her features as she prods at the clumps, mashing the jam in with her spoon. The first rays of sunlight twinkle in her dark eyes, a murky orange glow peeks through her lashes. Her lower lid moves ever so slightly, the soft lines around her eyes cast gentle shadows,, her soft crows feet twitch as she takes a bite of the food. She couldn’t be more perfect, she couldn’t possibly be prettier, she couldn’t be any more wonderful and… god, I love her, I love her more than anything, more than anyone. If only.

“I was thinkin’ I’ll go down to the post again today, see if Hosea’s written back yet.”

“Could you check if Jamie wrote back too? They’re getting graded again right about now, they should be getting them back and I want to see how he did this time.”

“Sure, you need anything from the store?” Arthur asks. The porridge isn’t that bad, just weird looking. There’s too much jam to his liking.

“I’d just like the letter, thank you. Oh, there should be some mint around there too!” She notes After a period of silence, she speaks up again.. “Y’know, back in the day I used to be pretty good at finding herbs. Whatever the cattle hadn’t stomped was always good, used to be that we’d dry them out to be eaten.” “You mind pickin’ some then?”

“If we even find any.”

“It’s high time I get moving then, if we ever wanna get out there on time,” Arthur stands up, picking up their empty plate. Mary brings hers to the sink as well. Arthur quickly kisses her again before he steps out.

Arthur rides out to the post, taking his time. The autumn air was unusually warm that day. The ride passes by slowly as he enjoys the fading summer sun.

There were a few letters at the post office, this time . He didn’t often get mail, but this time was different. Mary got one from Jamie, Arthur got one from Hosea, another from John and one from Albert Mason, a photographer he ran into a bit ago. As he checks through the letters, Charles enters.

“Arthur, hey! Haven’t seen you in a while,” he pulls Arthur out of his thoughts.

“Charles. Yeah, been busy with somethin’. How’ve ya been?”

“Same as before, been trying to find you around.”

“Figure we should catch up some time. You think we could go hunting some time tomorrow, catch up?”

“Sure. But I gotta get moving now, got someone to meet in town.”

“I'll see you at the ol' spot in the mornin' then?”

“Yeah, sure.”

*****

The sun is hardly touching the horizon when Arthur arrives home, yet he can already see the ceramic pot steaming on the stove.

“Ain’t it a bit early for dinner?”

“Figured since we're heading out we should eat early. I’m not letting you slip on eating, you’re too thin as is.” She rubs his cheek. His heart skips a bit. I love you.

She notices the letters in his hands, he picks out the one from Hosea, eyeing it as if it were a trap. “Who’s that from?”

“Hosea.” Arthur sits down and tears it open. His eyes scan the text, his expression shifting from concern to an amused chuckle.

“What is it then?” she asks from the stove.

“John got some girl knocked up in town, I did tell ya about John?”

She thought for a while before shaking her head, “Don't think so. What about him?”

Arthur shakes his head, as if in disapproval, though the mischievous grin on his face remains. “He's been heading to the bathhouse a lot. 'm pretty sure Dutch was still alive the last time he took a bath. Apparently a girl there caught his eye and, well, now little Johnny Marston's gonna be a pa.”

She lifts her eyebrows, surprised, “Oh? Send my congratulations to them then.”

“Nah, don't think John's too happy about it,” he says, folding the paper and shoving it into one of the drawers. “'sea wants me to have a talk with him later. Oh, and here's Jamie's letter”

“Thanks,” she says, carefully tearing the envelope open.

He observes her face as she scans the letter. A small smile creeps up her face. Insignificant as it is, her joy is contagious to him. “How’s the boy doing?”

“Did pretty well in his first test; he joined some club in school too. I’m glad he’s finally making more friends.”

“Good for him,” he shakes the strap of the satchel off his shoulder. “Meanwhile I have my brat of a brother.”

“Oh come on Arthur, he’s just a kid. I guess he just ain't ready to be a dad.”

“Him? A kid? Nah, he may be a manchild but he's a grown man, whether he likes it or not.”

“How old is he even?”

“20 or so. I know, barely older than Jamie, but ain’t no kid. He messes around, he gotta deal with the consequences.”

“I guess,” she shrugs, going back to work at the counter. “Poor girl though. What is he gonna do then?”

“Somethin’ dumb most probably. He is John.”

“He ain’t gonna leave them is he?”

“He wouldn’t do somethin’ like that. Think ‘Sea’s pushin’ him to marry her now.” “Well I guess that’s good then, she ain’t just gettin’ left in the dust.” she sighs, measuring out some salt.

“Figure this is the dumbest thing he’s pulled in years. You’re lucky Jamie ain’t like that.”

“That boy's done his fair share of stupid stuff too, believe me.”

“Do I dare ask?” Arthur asks with a chuckle.

“C’mon now Arthur, ain’t like every kid can go running around like John.” Mary scoffs. “Why, it’ll be getting dark soon, we should get movin’ after eating if we wanna catch anything.”

“You got anythin’ else planned?”

“Not really.”

“How do you even pick out them constellations?”

“Well you have to look at em or have someone else point ‘em out. I figure I could make something up too.”

“Y’know, back in the bad old days ‘sea used to teach me about the stars. Thing is he doesn’t know a damn thing about them and there ain’t no thing called an Aphana star or a wolf constellation.”

“Oh, but there is! It’s actually called the Lupus constellation and it should be in view in June!”

“Welp. I think it was back in the winter though, any idea if it’s visible then?”

“Nope.”

“Hosea’s got a way with bullshitting anyway, ain't a surprise. Should’ve asked Dutch, he’d’ve known.”

“What did Dutch know then?”

“Something about astrology, how stars are s’pposed to affect how people are.”

“Hm? Horoscopes?”

“That, yeah. Think he got over it once he got to Marx.”

“Marx? Karl Marx?”

“You know him?”

“I’ve heard of him.”

“Dutch wouldn’t goddamn shut up about him for a year, least it was better than the Greek phase.”

“Greek phase? This Dutch guy was into a lot of stuff huh.”

“All kinds of it, but none of them ever lasted.” Arthur grumbles as he sets the table, the memory of Dutch bringing a faint smile to his face.

She carefully fills the bowl with scoops of stew, filled with chunks of meat and carrots, and waits for them to cool down before placing them on the table. She sits down next to him as he sends the spoon into his mouth.

It doesn't taste too bad, the broth is flavourful and well seasoned, but the meat is tough, probably overcooked.

“How is it?”

“Tastes like rubber,” he teases, laboring his teeth through the meat.

“That's what Barry said. Unfortunately the poor guy didn’t live to tell the tale.”

He raises his eyebrow at her rather dark joke, “What, you're gonna poison me too?”

“Well if I am you would have tasted something, my dear,” she jokes. Arthur chuckles and shakes his head.

“True that. Tastes fine though, you’ve improved.”

“Thank you, means a lot from someone who’s clearly burnt out his taste buds.”

He quickly empties his bowl, despite his complaints. She is still eating as he drops his bowl in the sink.

“Gonna pack for the night, you mind doin' the dishes?” he says, putting on his hat as he unlocks the door.

*****

She potters around the home, gathering things, excitement painted on her face, the kind of innocent glee he had grown to adore. He grabs the bedrolls from where he had put them. Her’s seems rather worn and dirty, something he’d rather take. She’d get cold far more easily anyway. Mary paces into the room, grabbing something from the closet.

“C’mon then! It’s really perfect timing, new moon and all!”

“Comin’”, he answers. “Gonna saddle up Boadicea. You grab something warmer, s’a little chilly tonight.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Oh, now you’re nagging me?”

He shakes his head, though not exactly in denial, “Like you ain’t always cold.”

“None of your coats fit me— here, take this,” she shoves a wool blanket into his arms. “Besides, I know you’ll keep me warm.”

“ ‘ppose we don't need this then,” he gestures to the blanket in his hands.

“Guess we don’t. You’re enough for me.”

His heart skips a beat. He knows all too well that it's only a joke, but to think that he would ever be enough for someone like her… he would never be enough, but, if she really thinks so…

Her voice pulls him out of his stupor, “We better hurry up.”

“Sure,” he mutters, once again leaving the house to load the bundles in his arms onto Boadicea. Making sure that she has brought her compass and matches— even though Arthur has probably got these in his satchel, he's always prepared for everything— she throws a scarf over her shoulder and swiftly ties it around her neck, a simple makeshift cloak to protect her from the cold, before stepping out to join him.

****

The spot she mentioned isn't too far away, and they have got themselves settled in no time. She gathers some errand branches for firewood as he sets up the tent.

Arthur joins her around the fire once he is done. He watches as she gazes into the flames, the light of the fire dancing on her face.

“When did it happen, the thing with John?” Mary asks.

“Last week or so I guess. Why?”

“Well, I just keep thinkin’ about it. Ain’t really fair somethin’ like that could just happen,”

“Really ain’t. Don’t dwell on it too much, ain’t like things would change anyway.”

“I know. Y’know we used to try for kids plenty, Barry and I, and nothing ever came of it. He got sons already ‘n he always blamed me for it.”

Her expression is calm, yet Arthur still feels a needle poking at his heart upon her words. “Oh. Must’ve been a hell of a thing.”

“I guess.” The air between them once again falls to silence, the only sound being the crackling of the fire and the occasional crinkling of the grass as the wind makes its way through their swaying stems. “Heh, well, lucky thing I s’ppose. Never felt more trapped than back then with him in that place.”

Arthur inches his hand ever closer to hers, placing it in her open palm. Perhaps it’s an attempt to comfort her when he lacks the words to do it in any other way. Her skin feels wonderfully soft on his fingertips, the calluses under a delicate silken layer. The warmth emanates from her palm, her fingers are rather cool to the touch. Each wrinkle in her palm imprints itself in his mind, the contour of the muscle operating her thumb, the tiny little scars from a million little accidents over years, burns, cuts, abrasions.

He opens his mouth to say something, but once again nothing comes out.

She pulls him close, placing a kiss on his cheek. He can feel his cheeks reddening, and he knows for a fact that it isn't the heat from the fire. I love you.

She pulls herself onto his lap again, her lips meet his. The soft tingling doesn’t last for long. Mary’s fingers slip into his hair as she lays him down. Arthur feels a pang of sadness as her hands trails down his torso to his crotch. It’s childish, really, hoping that she’d somehow miraculously return his feelings. It‘s just sex to her, he reminds himself, nothing else, nothing more.

Yet he leans into her, pulls her closer until skin meets skin, flesh is inside flesh, thoughts melt into lust.

Just as the fire within them is quenched by the wetness between their legs, the flames before them simmer to red coals. He bites his lip as she lazily rolls down beside him. They both take a moment to catch their breath, and she points up to a bright star as he throws a blanket over them. She sits up to grab her compass, before once again lying down with him.

“That there’s the north star, and try to connect these seven dots, see that ladle? That’s Ursa Minor, the little bear,” she says, trying to map out the constellations before them with her fingers. Arthur feels a smile spread across his face as she connects the stars. “Under it, there’s a bigger ladle– Ursa Major, his mother. Oh, and right next to them!” Mary whispers, leaning on Arthus’s shoulder to align their view, so that she can point out the stars for him more easily. “See that long trail of stars? That’s Draco.”

“Let me guess, it’s a dragon?”

“Good guess, mister. Oh, and look to the south west, near the moon, see that really bright one near the horizon? That’s Venus.”

“Oh, I remember Dutch pointing that one out to me, and the red one, Mars, is it?”

“Think so, I can’t really see it though, if we’re lucky we might catch it around sunrise. You see the hexagon above it? That’s Ophiuchus, the snake bearer.”

“And the line across it s’the snake?”

“Yeah, oh, and right at the top is Cygnus, the swan.”

“It does look like a bird. And what about that one next to it, the bright one?

“I’m not too sure– think that one is lyra. A lyre, y’know?” “A liar? Now that I’m familiar with.” “No, the instrument! You pluck the string like a guitar– well, probably more like a harp. It belongs to this poet Orpheus.”

“S’that feller on the sky too?”

“No, don’t think he is– if anything he’s going underground.”

“What’d ya mean?” “You see, this Orpheus guy who sings so wonderfully, the god of music himself gave him his lyre…”

As he listens to her story, Arthur pulls out his journal to mark down the stars, connecting the lines and writing down the name of each constellation beside it. It’s a bit dark, but the light from the campfire is sufficient.

“...and his song is so beautiful, it moves the king of the dead to tears. So, he agrees to let him and his wife go, on one condition: Eurydice must walk behind Orpheus, and he should not turn around on their way back, until they reach the mortal realm, and if he does, he’s going back to the mortal world alone.”

“That sounds too easy.”

“Things are always easier said than done.”

“He turns around?” “Yeah.”

“That’s dumb.”

“I s’ppose… but, I think I would’ve done the same.”

“Nah, that’s ridiculous, I’d never turn around if I was him.” “It’s a long way up, it’s dark and it’s cold, he can’t hear her footsteps and he can’t see her shadow, her being a ghost. We can’t blame him for doubtin’ if she’s really behind him.”

“He could have called her name if he’s in doubt.”

“Maybe he did and she called back, but he couldn’t hear her.”

“Even if so, he can, y’know, wait until they’re up above before turning around?”

“Well, yes, but doubt got the better of him.”

“Doubt, huh, ain’t no use doubting,” he grumbles as he flips to a new page of his journal. She chuckles, “Now that’s bold of you to say. Surely you won’t say that you’ve never doubted anything before?”

“Well, no, but I’m not letting it hold me back.”

“Can’t really say the same for me. And looking back, I don’t regret a single bit of it.”

“To each their own, I guess.”

“I guess. Oh! Look to the east, that’s Jupiter.”

“Which one?”

“The big one under the cluster of stars, you see it?”

“Oh, yeah,” Arthur replies, as he marks it down on the pages. “It’s right in the middle of Taurus, the bull.”

“Bull? Can’t see it.”

“See that cluster of stars? That’s Pleiades. That’s its body, And there’s the horn– here, I’ll mark it down for you,” she says, quickly outlining the shape of the bull in his journal.

“And what a coincidence– do you know Taurus is the bull that the god Jupiter turned into?”

More stars are mapped out and more stories are told,with the rising and falling of celestial bodies being the only sign of the passage of time, and despite it being well into the midnight hours, Arthur does not feel sleepy at all. To him, the night only seems to be passing too quickly.

He steals another glance at her under the starlight. He can see her better now, despite the fading light from the embers, now that his vision has adjusted to the darkness. She looks just as beautiful as she does in the day under the daylight, her features looking all the more softer in the dim lighting. Suddenly he wishes– as silly as it is– that he can lie with her like this always, forever, until their bodies turn to bones, until the last star in the universe dies out.

“You see that board guy over there? Near Gemini?” her voice once again grasps her attention.

“What guy?” he asks, staring at the direction she is pointing towards. “You see those three bright stars? They mark his belt.” She grabs his hand and uses his finger to point out those stars for him. “And over there, that’s his bow. That’s Orion, he’s a hunter.”

“Think I see him now,” Arthur mutters, outlining the feller with his pencil.

“He kinda looks like ya, y’know, big and broad and all.” He lets out a small chuckle, “If you say so, ‘cept I don’t sparkle.”

“Right. Oh, and underneath! Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky other than Venus. It’s not fully out yet, but you can see half of Canis Major.”

“Let me guess, it’s a dog? The hunter guy’s dog?”

“Exactly, and you can see the rabbit running away from them…”

He can tell the sun is going to rise soon by the time the two finally settle down in their bedrolls, as the sky gradually changes from dark blue to pale purple. He pulls her over to the nicer bedroll before she has a chance to protest.

“I've got my own bed,” she says, though she slips under the sheets with him regardless.

“It's old 'n dirty, 'sides, we fit pretty well here don't we?”

“Hm, it's cozy enough,” she mutters mindlessly, resting her head right above his heart. She can hear his heart speeding up the second she lays her hand on the other side of his chest, but pays it little mind.

A small smile blooms across his face as she yawns, she's kind of adorable like this, soft, docile, her usual defensiveness vanished into the night.

“You're so warm…” she mumbles, right before falling asleep, “I can hold you forever like this.”

Please do, it is the last thought he has before he, too, falls into slumber.

****

Arthur heads out shortly after they went home, only to return with another man an hour later. The two are engaged in a discussion as she steps back in, putting down the basket of clean clothes in the corner. Seeing another person in the house is a strange feeling, her heart frantically jumps around her chest. They both look up, she feels she should just run off. Surely he’d recognize her, he’d know, everyone did, he’d instantly know and now she’s trapped in a house-

“Mary, was expectin’ you. Charles Smith, Mary Linton.” She reaches to shake his hand, the two make brief eye contact and engage in the courtesy.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith.” she greets, the man nods in response. She steps around the room and looks at them both. The two connected rooms offer little privacy and stepping out would be rather rude.

“C’mon, sit with us,” Arthur invites her over. She sits by him and notices the cups of coffee on the table. There was a chip on one of the cups, a large one. The silence is broken by him yet again. “This is the feller I was tellin’ you about, we ain’t met in a while.”

Charles and Mary look at each other in silence and then glance back at Arthur. “And this is Mary, figure you read about her in the papers a bit ago.” Shut up, Arthur, just shut up. Please.

“Think I did. Arthur didn’t tell me about this situation.”

“Well, i-it’s not really a thing that should get out, in case someone hears, you see.” Mary excuses. Charles shoots a look at Arthur, silently shaming him for every single choice that led up to this. He had caught on the moment she stepped in. The two pillows on the bed, the little stitched on details and his neatened up appearance. A thing Charles hadn’t before noticed was the degree of his idiocy, apparently.

Arthur notices her stilted mannerisms and places his hand on her hand under the table.

“Why then?”

“ ‘s hard to explain,” Arthur squeezes her hand. She gently squeezes back.

“Ain’t really. We share a bed.”

“Oh.”

Arthur chats with the man for a while, before the two get up to leave. Charles raises an eyebrow at him as he pulls a jacket on, questioning the whole situation. He eyes the strange lady observing them.

“You wanna come with us?” Arthur asks, it snaps her out of her trance.

“Well, I won’t be of much help or company. ‘Sides, I have things to do, you go on ahead darlin’,” Mary stands up as they step out.

Darlin’.

Arthur pauseos at the door, turning back to look at her, their eyes meet as she steps forth. The door clolpsllles, the9ootttotototo to to tttttt the 9brief moment ends as the door clicks shut. Arthur lets out a breath he only now realizes he had held in for the time. Something was missing, he thinks, but shakes the thought away.

Should have goddamn kissed her.

He gathers his thoughts for a moment and steps back to meet the younger man.

“What’s going on with you, Arthur?” Charles asks.

“Nothin’, nothin’,” Arthur denies, turning away. Charles furrows his brow.

“At this rate I’d have guessed you married her.” His tone is only half joking.

“Huh.” he feels a flush creep up his face at the thought. It’s a silly, soft thought but… that damned woman seemed to some strange aura about her. She wouldn’t ever, never in a million years even consider it would she, not with me. Fool.

“As a matter of fact ‘m hurt ya didn’t tell me.”

“Ain’t like that, Charles. She ‘n I ain’t involved like that, she’s got her own things goin’ on and she’ll probably leave me any day now.”

“Is that so?” Charles casts him a strange look as they walk into the woods, “I’ve never seen you act like that with anybody.”

Arthur sighs, he can’t help but be ashamed of these…stupid feelings, but it would probably do him good to let it out. It’s just Charles, ain’t like he will judge him for it.

“Well I do like her a bit, she’s been living with me for a while and she…she’s been real nice to me, y’know.”

“…I can tell,” Charles mutters, recalling in terror the way the two looked at each other. “Thought you were tracking her down just a while ago, and now you’re living with her?”

“Long story short, she saved my life, I owed her one, and she needed a place to hide so, we ended up sharing a roof.”

“And you said you like her?”

“Yeah?”

“Arthur,” Charles stops in his tracks, turning to look at him. “She killed her husband.”

“Yeah, that. That feller was a bastard, a child rapist. Can you blame her for that?”

Charles sighs, he can see the reason behind that woman’s action, if what she claimed was true, that is, but he sure can’t see any logic behind Arthur’s thought process. “Still. Of course she’d put him in a bad light in her story.”

“Even if she did lie to me it ain’t like I haven’t murdered anyone before. C’mon, let’s get going,” he urges.

“Fair enough. She does seem sweet on you, gotta say.”

“You really think so?” Arthur asks, his tone almost hopeful.

“That she’s sweet on you? Yeah. I’m guessing she’s why your den finally looks like a house now?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s been a great housemate.”

Charles wants to point out that housemate seems like an odd choice of word given the way they interact, but he does not comment.“ ‘m glad to hear that, but still, be careful.”

“C’mon, if she’s going to kill me she would’ve done it weeks ago. Enough about me, how have ya been?”

“Same old. There's this beekeeper who moved near me a few weeks ago and his little army has been bothering me ever since. Nothing interesting beside that, really. How’re you two getting on?”

“A beekeeper? Never would’ve guessed voluntarily keep ‘em.”

“Mm, yeah, all sorts of folk out there. What’s she been doing in this time?”

“They live out near the fields? Saw a bunch of flowers there, seems like a nice place for ‘em.”

“Heard there was someone new in town sellin’ knitted things ‘n embroidery”

“Yup. Does he get stung by ‘em often?” “Is it her?”

“Yup, so, how’re you two gettin’ on, other than that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hm? Means what I said it meant.” Arthur shrugs.

“Hosea told me you were harbourin’ an outlaw, said it like it had passed. When’s she gonna be gone?” Charles dodges the subject.

“Hope not soon. Charles, I… I think I love her.”

A look of disapproval spreads across the other man's face. “I’m not gona do anythin’ about it, it’d… it’d be dumb.”

“C’mon, Arthur, I can see that, but I don't wanna see you get hurt. Might just be best to let her go.”

Arthur sighs heavily.

“I know, I know. S’gonna hurt anyway. Enough about her, you said you saw a stag ‘round here earlier?”

*******

“Oh, you guys are back,” Mary says, emptying a can of beans into the steaming pot.

“Yeah,” says Arthur, swinging off his satchel to hang it behind the door. “Watcha makin’?” He asks, looking over her shoulders.

“Just put together what I could find, we’re running low,” she says, stirring the mixture of beans, mushrooms, and potatoes. “And nice to see you again Mr. Smith,” she greets as the other man lays down several bundles wrapped in paper on the table.

“Charles’ fine,” he replies. Mary only hums in response.

“Yer staying for dinner?” Arthur asks. Mary secretly hopes he would refuse, not because she dislikes Arthur’s friend. In fact, she finds him a pretty nice feller, but it is just so awkward and unnatural, especially with Arthur being so at ease and Charles being clearly as uneasy as her.

Charles merely shrugs, “Sure.”

“What have you guys got?” she asks, sprinkling some salt over the pot.

“Just some rabbits. What’d ya say if we roast ‘em?”

“I’m fine with it.” Arthur nods as he grabs a knife to skin the rabbits.

“Need any help?” Charles offers.

“No, it’s fine, you’re the guest,” Arthur says.

“A guest? You’re talking like I’m a stranger,” Charles jokes as he sets himself down at the table, slightly more relaxed now.

“You come here often, Mr Smith?” Mary asks, trying to break the awkwardness.

“I used to.”

“Oh?” Mary puts the lid over the pot, before walking over to pour a glass of water for Arthur, then another for Charles. He silently thanks her with a nod.

“Well, then you came.” Suppose Arthur doesn’t want anyone interrupting you two. Charles thinks, though he knows better than to say it out loud.

Mary freezes, trying to think of the implication behind his statement. There is not a single bit of repulsion in his tone, yet his words make her feel like an intruder. She wonders if that’s what she is to his friends and family, someone uninvited, a hindrance to Arthur’s life. They won’t be wrong, she thinks, she has been nothing but a dependent with little contribution.

“I won’t be disturbing him for long,” she explains. “He’s been a great host, but I’d hate to bother him for any longer. I’ll be out of here as soon as I can, right Arthur?”

A sharp metal cling tears through the room before her words fall. Mary turns around and finds that Arthur has dropped the knife.

“…Arthur? Are you alright?”

He shakes his head out of his trance. “Yeah, am fine, my hand just slipped.”

She picks up the knife for him before returning to the stove. Charles watches as Arthur ties a string onto the rabbits.

A silent sigh escapes him. His face falls, the happiness sucked away by those words.

“You alright?”

“ ‘m fine,” he shakily picks the knife up. “These’ll be good.” he smiles, a weakness hidden behind those words.

Charles smiles back, pitying the other man.

Fine. Fine! Completely fine. Just like she’s with leaving. FINE.

“Hey, well. I hope you two had fun out there, the weathers been fine all week!” she continues. FINE, FINE, EVERYTHING’S JUST GODDAMN FINE.

“Could have used you out there too,” Charles tries to break the tension. He notices his friend's hand tighten around the knife. He places a hand on his shoulder and notices the tension in his muscles.

He snakes his hand onto Arthurs and gently places the knife on the table.

“What?” Arthur asks, confused.

“Nothin'. You're done with this, right? I'll take it to wash.”

“Oh, yeah, alright.” Arthur says. Charles drops it at the sink while Arthur kneels down before the fireplace, hanging the rabbits over the pile of logs.

Charles sits back down at the table. He notices how Arthur is still kneeling on the floor, despite having finished his work. He doesn't comment.

Arthur finally breaks out of his haze as Mary turns around, leaving the steaming pot behind. “Yer done?”

“Not yet, gotta let it simmer for a while,” she mutters, grabbing the unfinished needlework on the table. Charles immediately recognises it as Arthur's neckerchief. Huh.

Arthur brushes the ashes off his hands on his pants. “S'gonna take these at least an hour to cook too.”

“I hope you boys are not too hungry then,” says Mary, as she sits down at the edge of the bed, disappearing from their view.

“I can wait,” Charles says. Arthur casts the bedroom door another glance before sitting himself down at the table, opposite to the other man.

“So, what have you been up to, other than getting all enamored and stuff?” Charles asks with a whisper. Arthur really has been a stranger lately. He can sense something has changed in him during the past few months. Though Charles can't really tell what it is, he knows Mrs Linton and Arthur's…feelings for her, have to be the reason for it.

“Eh, nothing much, just the old stuff.”

“Y'know, your house really looks a lot nicer now.”

“Yeah, like I said she's a great housekeeper.”

“You look a lot better than before too, you know that right?”

“Do I?” Arthur gives him a funny look. “How?”

“Hard to say, but at least you don't like you're gonna die in a week anymore.”

“That's a real nice compliment coming from ya,” Arthur chuckles.

“I mean it, you look way happier than before.”

He shrugs, “S'ppose the extra company does me good.”

“...company, huh?”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“So, you said you've got a new neighbor?”

“Yeah, a Jason Brown or something like that. I forgot his name and it'd be too strange to ask at this point.”

“Why? Just say you haven't got his last name or something.”

“Guess I should try that.”

“You said he keeps bees?”

“Yeah, he's given me a jar of honey a while ago. He's a pretty nice feller. His herd, not quite.”

“What'd they do?”

“They were supposed to be heading to the apple farm nearby— he mentioned something about them being pollinators and him having got a fund from the owner— but they kept heading to my house to bug me.”

“You ever got stung?”

“A couple times. Didn't even do anything to them.”

“Huh, what about that Jason feller?”

“Not as far as I know. I've seen him work from a distance before. They seemed to let him do whatever he wanted to their hive. He was wearing this net thing over his head though.” Their conversation is interrupted by Mary shuffling through, she grabs her needles. Arthur’s expression falls again, his gaze follows her out, an odd type of sadness masked behind his eyes.

****

The two men step out, Charles pats Taima’s neck in greeting, the mare nickers as he grabs her reins.

“Hope you’ll be comin’ back some time soon.” Arthur steps closer to the horse.

“Sure. You sure you’ll be alright, Arthur?” Charles asks, swinging his leg over the horse.

Arthur laughs. “ ‘course I’ll be. Just a crush is all, no reason to worry.”

“You sure?”

“Who do ya think I am? She’ll be out ‘before you’re back, it’ll… pass.” he hesitates on the word.

Charles nudges the appaloosa to a trot and leaves, glancing back at the other man, left standing in the dust. Arthur turns his gaze to the window and catches a peek at her, sitting there, working hard on another one of her projects. She tilts her head and her eye twitches.

She’ll be gone soon, she’ll be gone and there isn’t a damn thing I can do.

Arthur steps back inside and she springs up from the spot, tying off two treads and snipping them as she steps over. She pulls him down and ties a black scrap of fabric around his neck. It wasn’t what she was working on before, he notices.

“Did your friend leave?” she asks. Arthur nods as she adjusts it around his neck. “ ‘m glad to see you ain’t a real hermit just a, hm, a hermit of opportunity.”

“Can’t be a real one with ya here.” he forces a chuckle. “ ‘sides, ain’t fun like that, I don’t mind the company.”

“He'll be coming over again soon?”

“Dunno, maybe, why, do you want him to?”

“Not really.”

He gives out an airy laugh, “Oh, he'll definitely be hurt if he hears that.”

“No, not what I meant. He's a nice feller, but it's just a little bit strange with someone else here y'know?”

“What'd ya mean?”

“Guess I'm just used to being alone with you.”

A warm feeling blooms across his chest. Could she really enjoy being here with him?

Arthur swallows, calm down, she just said she was used to it. It doesn't mean anything.

“Huh, thought you'd be getting sick of my face by now.”

“Probably would have if you weren't so handsome.”

Suddenly he doesn't know where he should be looking at, and his hands feel awkward hanging besides his hips, but he doesn't know where to put them. He looks away, hoping she isn't able to see his flushed cheeks under the dim light.

“Flatterer,” he mumbles. She smiles and stands on her tiptoes to give his cheek. He has never told her, but it's his favorite way to be kissed; quick, chaste, but sweeter and more intimate than any other kiss. He can almost close his eyes and pretend it's a gesture of something more than mere habitual affection.

He realizes he's still standing at the door while she has already sat down at the edge of the bed, folding her outer clothes. He slowly makes his way towards the room to join her.

“He's not gonna visit for a while. We'll be getting plenty of alone time,” he says, playing with her hair, which she has just let down. Her curls fall onto her shoulders adorning the outline of her face. He twirls a strand around his index finger, feeling its smooth silkiness.

“Good, more fun with just you and I here, isn't it?”

“How so?” he asks with a knowing smile. The eager hands prying his collar open and the wild kiss that follows it are the only answers his need.

#take your cigarette from its holder burn your initials on my shoulder #mary linton x arthur morgan #mary linton/arthur morgan #mary gillis #mary gillis linton #mary linton #arthur morgan #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #our fic

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twilightmalachite · 1 year ago

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Raison d’être - The Nameless Girl 3

Author: Akira

Characters: Mika

Translator: Mika Enstars

"That’s what’s cute ‘bout him. I really want Oshi-san to do whatever he wants t’do and shine brightly without havin’ t’worry ‘bout me."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Shu’s Atelier (Paris)

The next day at noon. At the atelier near where Itsuki Shu is boarding…

Mika: (Hmm, what to do…)

(Oshi-san seems t’be talkin’ with the landlady where he’s boardin’ at… Apparently, she’s an old friend of Grandfather’s from when he was in Paris.)

(So he thought maybe she’d know a thing or two ‘bout the “MADEMOISELLE” person.)

(That’s what Oshi-san said he had “in mind”, wasn’t it?)

(Still. Like Raffaello-san said, there’s a deadline fer the Funeral Contest. We can’t afford t’dawdle—)

(So t’help out, I’m here t’investigate the atelier.)

(Like where Oshi-san’s boardin’ at, this atelier… It was also used by Grandfather way back then.)

So by lookin’ around here, I may be able to discover some new info ‘bout Grandfather.)

(But, I dunno how t’even start… What if I accidentally knocked and broke some valuable work of art or somethin’ expensive? That’d be horrible…)

(There is a deadline, but it’s a vague one that says it’s whenever Grandfather picks one of the family member’s projects.)

(So we can take our time thinkin’ ‘til Grandfather gets proposed a funeral service he thinks is right fer him. So it feels like we got no time, but we surprisin’ly do.)

(Well, there’s also still the possibility that Grandfather’ll pick someone else’s plan at any moment and make all of our efforts meanin’less, but…)

Mika: (It’ll still be meanin’ful for Oshi-san to get in touch with his beloved Grandfather’s past, right? It’s stimulatin' his curiosity and motivatin' him to create.)

(Even I’m startin’ to get kinda curious!)

(If I can learn ‘bout “MADEMOISELLE”-san, Mado-nee’s look-alike—I feel I’ll be able t’connect with Mado-nee more.)

(I haven’t been able t’talk with Mado-nee much lately, so I’ve been missin’ her a bit.)

Raffaello: “—Found anything?”

Mika: Nnaahh!?

D-don’t talk outta nowhere like that! I don’t like gettin’ surprised!

Raffaello: “My apologies. I hadn’t realized you were so close to me.”

Mika: Ah, so ya were sittin’ on the desk… So ya really did arrive ahead of us, huh? Ya must be tired from the trip.

Raffaello: “My body is that of a doll’s, so I do not get tired. You’re also quite a strange kid, aren’t you?”

Mika: Nnah~, I’m glad t’have someone t’talk to! Oshi-san had left me tellin’ me t’do my own investigatin’ elsewhere, so I was lonely.

Raffaello: “Fufu. My father was like that too, going about his own way with little care about those around him. I suppose it’s in the blood.”

Mika: That’s what’s cute ‘bout him. I really want Oshi-san to do whatever he wants t’do and shine brightly without havin’ t’worry ‘bout me.

I love the Oshi-san who looks ahead and walks proudly with his chest out…♪

I honestly’d rather him to not pay attention to a dirty doll lyin’ out on the side of the road—

Raffaello: “…My father once said something similar.”

Mika: Grandfather did?

Raffaello: “Of course, I didn’t hear it firsthand. It was something depicted in my mother’s diary, now buried alongside her in her coffin.”

Mika: Nnah~… I’d like to also give the diary a look, but it wouldn’t be right t’dig up her grave, wouldn’t it?

Raffaello: “That’s right. But do not worry, I’ll explain as much as I can recall.”

Mika: But I don’t like that, you can jus’ tell lies that are convenient t’ya.

Raffaello: “Fufu. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“Anyways. Unlike you, I am unaware of what is in the diaries you have, so I do not know if you know this or not, but…”

“My mother was a dollmaker.”

“My father was a big fan of my mother’s work, you see.”

Mika: “MADEMOISELLE”-san would make dolls? Like Oshi-san does?

Raffaello: “That’s right. You might find some of my mother’s work that my father purchased on display here.”

“Look, here is a taxidermy wolf—Or so it may appear to be one, that is.”

“It’s not a real taxidermy wolf. You will understand if you touch it. It’s a doll made by my mother, elaborately crafted down to every pore.”

Mika: Nnah, so this ain’t the real thing?

Ooh… Lookin’ at it closer, I can see its eyes are somethin’ like glass marbles! Well, I dunno, maybe real taxidermy animals have those too.

Raffaello: “Yes. Truthfully, it would be much cheaper to buy a real taxidermy wolf, and it would be much more accurate to one as well. It’d make use of the actual corpse itself, after all.”

“Even so, my mother was committed to recreate each and everyone one of these organic objects.”

“To reproduce God’s creations in nature with her own, human hands.”

“No matter how sophisticated the smartphone, no matter how high the pixel count of a camera, humans will never cease to reproduce nature with their own hands. Landscape paintings never become obsolete.”

“Something like that. Unlike my mother, I am no artist, I do not know what I am talking about…”

“But my mother surely felt there was some “significance” to that.”

Mika: ……

[ ☆ ]

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#raison d’être #raison d'etre #mika kagehira #event #translation

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voidthewanderer · 7 months ago

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WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @bury-me-standing for today! Thanks!

The sketch layer, just like the last post with this pic, is hidden because it's just nothing but chaos with it showing. I'm taking a little bit more time to study some of my favorite artists and how they draw ghoul noses because I really just gotta figure it out having a majority ghoul character line up. So yeah, working on Ripper holding his kid.

But also, here, have some of the draft from A Different Life because I've been working on it pretty religiously as well. Here's the first few paragraphs of the second draft of chapter three. It's supposed to be a little bit more of a feel good type story with some minor, more realistic everyday conflicts rather than some of the over the more major conflicts that happen less often.

“Arsenic…”

The ghoul gave a soft groan, rolling over slightly, though didn’t open his eyes.

“Arsen~”

The voice had a soft warble to it now, despite the roughness. A soft touch on his arm garnered another soft groan, his own voice reflecting his groggy state, “Babe…”

“Baby, wake up…” Another hum, the hand lightly caressing his arm. His muscle twitched slightly at the touch, him finally opening an eye, smile soft on his lips, “What is it, babe?”

“I’ve got a little surprise for you.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, tucking his elbows beneath his back to prop himself up, “Damn… we get engaged an’ I get t’ have ya back in my life again. What more could I get t’ make this even better?”

“Get up and I’ll show you,” Crow chirped, ducking in to peck his cheek; him humming softly at the affection. He stretched slightly before pushing himself out of the bed to get dressed. Nothing major, at least not for today since he wasn’t cooking; a plain tank top and sweatpants. As he turned back to face Crow, he’d caught their gaze wandering before completely adverting it when they noticed they’d been caught. A smirk crept on his face, “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, babe?”

“Just come on,” Crow turned and trotted out of the room before Arsenic could even take his first step, needing to widen his stride to catch up the the smaller ghoul. He could tell that they were still at least curious about everything, but was having a hard time processing their actual thoughts when it was brought up. It was a topic that they’d only discussed once and that had been the day they got together. Nobody knew what tragedy would happen eight months later…

Crow led Arsenic to the communal kitchen, holding a mug out to him, “Here.”

He glanced to it, confused, “What’s all this?”

“Well…we never really got to, y’know, start our lives as a couple. To really do things as a couple living together. I wanna start with this.” This raised a smile, his voice much softer than before as he carefully took the mug, “Of course, baby…”

Once Crow had grabbed their mug, the duo headed to the couch. Arsenic only had a moment to get settled before Crow practically curled up into his lap, hugging their mug close to their chest and pulling his free arm around their waist. He tightened his hold, shifting his legs so they were cradled against him, “There we go…”

They fell into a peaceful quiet, the warmth of just being together comforting. Some of the other ghouls started to shuffle about in their own morning routines before heading out to work. None of them paid any mind to the couple; though most feared that they’d probably get ripped a new one if they made a comment. Crow cuddled up more against Arsenic’s chest, him stifling a groan as they spoke, “What’d’ya think? Maybe we can get up early, make ourselves some coffee together and just… cuddle. I know you’re really not the type to but-”

“Shh… I’d love t’ keep doin’ this,” he chuffed, “Gotta remember, I was on th’ go for a long damn time. Don’t gotta do that anymore. Somethin’ small like this? It’ll be nice. This is my home. An’ I think it’ll be a learning experience for us both.”

#shut it void

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verdantcrimson · 6 months ago

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Heaven and Earth / Creation of Heaven and Earth - 8

(Unproofread)

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[The next day, in one of the Yumenosaki Academy classrooms.]

Keito: “In Christianity, it is said God created the world in seven days.”

Keito: “But in spite of biting into the fruit of wisdom, we still do not fully understand the world, even after over 2000 years.”

Keito: “However, that is precisely what makes history so interesting.”

Keito: “Now, let us sink our teeth into the fruit of wisdom that is our world, and consume it voraciously for nutrition today as well.”

Keito: “Devour! Heaven! And! Earth! Rumbling…!”

Koga: …… Got a screw loose again, shitty glasses?

Keito: Don’t talk about people like they’re crazy, Oogami. I’ll have you know I am perfectly sane, like always.

Souma: Hehe. The opening of each episode of ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ is oft accompanied by a grandiose preamble. Hasumi-dono has replicated this quite splendidly. ♪

Koga: Sigh… I guess I can’t say too much, since I don’t even know what the show is like.

Kuro: Haha, I’ve finally found a fellow idiot.

Souma: Though, do tell, Oogami-dono, what is your purpose in being here? We are currently, as you can see, in the midst of something, but…?

Koga: Looks like you’ve got a whole lotta free time and you’re just messin’ around but… Well s’nothin’ important, I just came here to thank Zakki for his help in the fields yesterday.

Koga: Here, use these. I remembered that ya like cookin’.

Souma: Oh? These vegetables, are you giving them to me?

Souma: Hehe, if you recall, the reason for this was because I had accidentally trampled upon your field, and assisted you to atone— Therefore there is no need to thank me, correct?

Koga: That’s great and all, but just take em. Harvest was so big it’s becomin’ a pain to get rid of it all.

Souma: Very well then, I graciously accept. Hehe, Oogami-dono is an unexpectedly conscientious person.

Keito: I know, right~?

Souma: Why are you acting so proud, Hasumi-dono?

Koga: Guh, he’s gone into senpai mode. If you’re thinkin’ somethin’ like “I raised Oogami so well”, I’m tellin’ ya right now that you’re dead wrong!

Koga: Well, whatever. There’s only so much I can do about that, but I guess I must’ve interrupted somethin’.

Keito: Now wait just a minute, this is probably some sort of coincidence, but since you’re here already, watch our show and give us your honest opinion.

Koga: Uhhh? This is supposed to be a show…?

Keito: Yes. I’ll refrain from going into detail, but we’re trying to see if it’s possible to recreate the educational show ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ on our own.

Keito: If we end up being able to do things on our own, then in an extreme case, we won’t need the help of the ‘Three Sages’ at all.

Keito: In fact, trying to get all ‘Three Sages’ to cooperate might actually land us in trouble.

Keito: If we can take on the roles that the ‘Three Sages’ have filled in the show up until now, then we can get ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ to work.

Keito: It won’t matter how sparsely we can fill out those roles, because then we can do something like accept Nobunaga-sensei’s conditions and work without the other two Sages.

Keito: If we’re able to fill in the gaps like that, there shouldn’t be an issue with getting ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ approved.

Koga: Oh yeah, I asked Zakki about that when we were chattin’ earlier.

Koga: Does this mean you’re only aimin’ to get one or two of those idiots on your side instead of all three now?

Keito: Yes. And then, we shall act as substitutes for the missing ‘pillars’ of the project, whose conditions we couldn’t fulfill, and therefore, would not cooperate.

Keito: It’ll be more work for us, but that much was inevitable. It’s still within a tolerable range.

Souma: Indeed. However the issue that first comes to my mind is whether we will be able to act as adequate substitutes for the ‘Three Sages’.

Keito: That’s why we’re conducting a test run. Firstly, we’ll see if it’s possible to create ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ without any help from the sages at all.

Koga: Okay fine, whatever, but why’re ya back at Yumenosaki doin’ all this?

Koga: Seein’ shitty glasses walkin’ around so naturally despite havin’ graduated, made me feel like I went back in time.

Keito: I wasn’t wearing a uniform, though. Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that time-travel is currently impossible with today’s technology.

Keito: That’s why we read books and study history.

Souma: By the by, we have properly obtained permission from the school.

Koga: Didn’t doubt that for a second. Shitty glasses is the kind of guy that loves his paperwork.

Keito: Fufu. Don’t flatter me too much, Oogami. It must be embarrassing, right?

Koga: …… Kiryu-senpai is probably havin’ a rough time with this.

Kuro: Thanks Oogami. I can’t win against him with words, and I can’t resort to brute force, so I’ve been real stressed out.

Keito: Quit making a fuss. The person most stressed out here is me. Just incorrigible.

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#Heaven and Earth #Keito Hasumi #Kuro Kiryu #Souma Kanzaki #Koga Oogami

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magicpascalpost · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter Three

Chapter One \\ Chapter Two

Ellie's eyes widen the moment the three step outside, her gaze sweeping the area and locking in on the three dead bodies scattered around the small space. “Woah,” she breathes as she keeps in step with Olivia, who frowns at the sight. “We heard the shooting... but what happened?” the question is directed to Joel as he walks just a few paces ahead of them.

“The fireflies.” he answers simply.

“Same thing’s gonna happen to us if we don’t get off the street.” Olivia warns.

“He’s the pro,” Ellie shrugs, “we’re following him.”

“Which way, Joel?” Olivia asks over the sound of the curfew being announced along with a warning regarding harbouring criminals.

“This way,” he directs whilst jogging ahead slightly, down a short set of stairs and to the right where he again descends some concrete stairs and runs down a narrow path behind a gate.

“Stay low, Ellie.” Olivia instructs as two military trucks pass by them, just on the other side of the rusted fence.

“I am,” the teen huffs with an eye roll.

The two take a right once more, following Joel in silence as he takes a final left turn. “Where are we going?” Ellie presses impatiently.

“Up there.” Joel points upwards to the broken fire escape above, his gaze remaining straight ahead. “It’ll get us to the north tunnel.”

“How we supposed to reach that?”

“Just give him a minute,” Olivia tells the teen whilst keeping her attention on their surroundings, her ears having picked up on Joel’s heavy breathing as he wheels a large and heavy green dumpster to the space below the ledge to the remaining fire escape.

“Here we go ladies,”

“Good thinkin’ old man.” Olivia compliments with a smirk as she steps up to the dumpster and climbs atop it, then in one effortless motion, she pulls herself onto the remaining fire escape and turns to assist Ellie up onto it.

“Thanks,” Ellie pants as she stands up and dusts off her jeans before looking down to watch Joel climb up.

“Don’t mention it,” Olivia mumbles with dipping brows as Joel pulls himself up and strides past her with a scowl, being sure to avoid her gaze as he does so. “Come on,” she gestures to Ellie with her head, signalling for her to also follow Joel into the apartment building.

“So, this tunnel. You use it to smuggle things?” Ellie asks.

“Yep,”

“Like illegal things?”

“Sometimes,” Joel replies simply again, an edge to his tone.

“You ever smuggle a kid before?” Olivia asks with a smirk, knowing full well that the situation was a very unlikely one to occur twice.

“No, that’s a first.” he drawls whilst glancing to Olivia from the corner of his eye as she comes up beside him.

“Something on my face, Miller?” the brunette teases whilst turning her head and catching him staring, her smirk still present. Immediately, Joel clears his throat and averts his gaze awkwardly causing Olivia to chuckle. “Didn’t think so.” she mumbles under her breath.

“So,” Joel pipes up with the intention to shift the focus and change the subject, “What’s the deal with you and Marlene anyway?” he asks Ellie curiously.

“I don’t know. She’s my friend, I guess.”

“Your friend, huh? You’re friends with the leader of the fireflies. What’re you, like twelve?”

Olivia's annoyance rises at the tone the Southern man uses when speaking to the teen, her expression fixing into a disapproving glare as Ellie responds without missing a beat.

“She knew my mom and she’s been looking after me. And I’m fourteen, not that that has anything to do with... anything.”

“So where are your parents?”

“Where are anyone’s parents? They’ve been gone a long time...” Ellie trails off, her head dipping down and hurt leaking into her tone.

Olivia frowns at the young girl with growing sympathy. She knew what it was like to be abandoned by your parents, to lose them when you need them the most – both by death and incompetence. It sucked, big time. So, she slows until she falls into step with Ellie, then she reaches out and places a comforting hand atop her shoulder with an understanding smile, hoping to cheer her up, even just a little.

“Hm. So, instead of just staying in school, you decide to run off and join the fireflies. Is that it?”

“That’s enough.” Olivia cuts in, her gaze and voice sharp as a razor as she glares at the man now a few paces ahead of them. “We aren’t going to tell you why you’re smuggling her, so, quit with the questions.” she demands. “And for the record – neither of us are fireflies.”

Joel slows to a stop just at the end of the corridor, he turns on the spot just beside a closed white door, his gaze lifting to meet Olivia’s hard one. His jaw clenches as she two stops just opposite him, her annoyed expression alone bothering him more than he’d like to admit. “You wanna know the best part of my job?” he starts only for Olivia to cut in without hesitance.

“Not really.” she mumbles whilst reaching out and opening the door for Ellie, who smirks at the interaction and enters the apartment. “After you, old man.” Olivia says with the intention to continue pushing as many of Joel’s buttons as possible.

“Hmpf,” his nostrils flare as he storms into the apartment after Ellie, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.

Olivia pauses outside, her heart racing and her nerves wreaking havoc. She glances to her wrist with a swelling sadness, the same small encouraging voice echoing in her ears, spurring her to stand taller and follow the pair inside.

“What are you doing?” Ellie questioned whilst watching Joel move a cushion to the far end of a beat up sofa before moving to lay upon it with his arms behind his head and his rucksack on the floor at his side.

“Killing time,” he drawled with eyes closed.

“Well, what are we supposed to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure that out.” he mumbles whilst shifting to adjust his position.

“Still a grumpy bastard, I see.” Olivia huffs with an eye roll.

Her words prompt the older man to lift his head from the cushion slightly, whilst opening an eye and arching his brow at her, though by the time he had, she’d perched herself beside Ellie on the spacious armchair beside the large window, her back to him.

“How do you two know each other?” he hears Ellie ask Olivia softly.

He strains his hearing with the intention to hear the woman’s response, he wondered if she remembered how they met and how much she’d willingly share.

There is a long beat of silence before Olivia sighs, “I met him through his younger brother, Tommy, when I was in my early twenties. So, about ten or so years ago now.” she recalls with a dwindling smile.

“What was he like back then?”

Joel’s breathing slows, his heart sure to have stopped as he waits with baited breath for her response. His curiosity suddenly piqued.

Olivia frowns at the question, unable to willingly think back to that time for one reason and one reason alone. The familiar soft blue eyes flicker in her memories, reminding her of the pain and grief she has worked so hard to bury. She feels the tightening in her chest intensify as she allows herself a moment to drown in the pain before ultimately forcing her emotions back down long enough to face the fourteen year old depending on her.

“You should get some sleep,” she encourages weakly, her gaze shifting to her discreet trembling hands. “It’s been a long day and I have no doubt its going to be an even longer night.”

Joel's expression contorts at Olivia’s response, his curiosity and concern growing. He had heard the pain in her voice, practically felt the dip in her tone as she swiftly changed the subject to avoid answering. Most would have missed it but Joel just happened to be paying enough attention to have picked up on the small details.

“Yeah, Okay.” Ellie reluctantly agrees.

“It’ll all be better tomorrow, it has to be.” Olivia breathes as she stares out the window at the city below, unaware that the man on the sofa had heard her.

Evening had soon fallen outside with stars decorating the dark night sky above, the room was silent with only the occasional incoherent mumbling and groaning from Joel every now and then and the soft Potter patter of rain against the window. Meanwhile, Ellie slept peacefully, not a sound uttered from the young teen.

Olivia had stayed up, watching as the sun had set and the moon had rose. She observed the many soldiers switching shifts and going about their nightly patrols as the street lights flickered on at their set time. She basked in the silence offered, admiring the beauty of the night like she was rarely able to.

She doesn’t move or turn her head when she hears an audible gasp behind her accompanied by slight shuffling from Joel sitting himself upright with a calloused hand running down his sleep ridden face.

“You still have nightmares,” she observes, her soft voice barely above a whisper, “me too.” she admits whilst finally turning her head to look at him. “I hate them,”

“Yeah... me too.” Joel breathes out before saying the thought stuck on his mind. “You’ve changed.”

“Pfft... you’re one to talk.” she remarks with a playful smile, being sure not to move her body in an attempt to not wake Ellie who is curled into her side.

“I uh...” Joel lifts his well defined arm to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, “I meant that as a compliment.”

“Oh...” Olivia’s eyes widen slightly, her heart skipping a subtle beat as she scans the man before her. Salt and pepper hair, still somewhat short but no longer a solid black like in his younger days. A short scruffy beard with wisps of grey in there too, a few extra wrinkles around the eyes and forehead, and a muscular stature that has only grown since last she’d seen him. But what rose the warmth and familiarity in her soul was the deep hazel eyes that stared back at her.

It takes her a moment to realise that he had in fact caught her checking him out, but when she does eventually reach this sudden realisation, her cheeks flush a light shade of pink with embarrassment. “Y-Yeah, me too...” she stutters just as the front door opens, the woman from earlier stepping inside and slamming it shut behind her.

“Sorry it took so long. Soldiers fuckin’ everywhere.” she explains briefly whilst walking halfway across the room to meet Joel in the middle.

The sudden noise and presence was enough to wake Ellie, who upon hearing the woman’s voice, jumped up with questions of Marlene’s state of health.

“She’ll make it,” the woman assures Ellie causing the young girl to visibly relax and nod in acknowledgment.

“Good,” she mumbles.

Olivia remains silent as she watches the woman and Joel converse quietly about the merchandise promised to them by Marlene if they smuggle she and Ellie successfully. They appear pleased from what she can tell, so, when the woman nods to Joel and turns to her, she isn’t the least bit surprised.

“Pack your stuff, we’re leaving in five.” the woman instructs.

Olivia nods and with a surge of confidence, she steps towards the woman and smiles. “I didn’t catch your name.”

The woman gives her a once over before sighing, “Tess,” she introduces with a strained smile, clearly not good at small talk either.

“Thanks,” Olivia says, “for agreeing to help, even if you’re getting paid for it.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“We ready?” Joel interrupts, his gaze bouncing between the two women.

“Ellie, come on. It’s time.” Olivia calls whilst reaching towards her bag and swinging it over her shoulder along with doing her routine weapon check. Then, once she is satisfied that both she and Ellie have everything they need, she nods to the pair of smugglers. “Let’s go,”

Ellie and Olivia followed the smugglers silently into the adjoining room, scanning the contents briefly which consisted of an old worn book shelf and a few scattered boxes beside the window Tess walks to stand in front of.

Olivia leans back against the far wall, her arms folded across her chest as she observes the way the two smugglers scan the area outside whilst talking in a personal manner. It was clear something was between the two – whether it be a close friendship or something deeper, Olivia was unsure but either way, it was there for all to plainly see.

“Here, help me move this.” Tess gestures to the book shelf beside Olivia, motioning for her to help slide it to the side whilst also assuring Joel that someone would be alive to pay them at the Capitol building.

Olivia pushes herself off the wall and turns to assist Tess without a word spoken, then once it is successfully moved, a decent sized hole is revealed in the wall. “Come on,” she tells Ellie whilst following Tess through the hole carefully.

“I’m coming,” Ellie mutters before crawling through herself.

Joel soon follows and without a glance towards the three women stood on the metal platform, he turns and walks to the generator just off to the side, connected to the platform by various coloured cables. He bends down slightly, his calloused hand reaching out to start it up with ease.

Then, he walks and steps onto the platform beside Olivia, nearest to the wall where a big red button sits. A moment later, the button has been pressed and the metal platform beneath their feet rumbles and shakes before slowly but surely lowering down into the ground below.

A gruff voice manages to speak over the low rumble of the platform, their question directed to Tess. “Who’s waiting for us at the drop off?”

“Some fireflies from another city,” Olivia answers with a shrug, “big group I heard.”

“Girl must be important,” Tess comments with a side glance to Ellie. “You some bigwig's daughter or something?”

“Something like that,” Ellie answers vaguely, her gaze dipped as to avoid giving herself away.

The lift finally comes to a stop in some form of underground tunnel, its dark and dingy leaving Olivia and Ellie feeling rather uncomfortable as they share a look and switch on their flashlights.

“How long is this gonna take?”

“If everything goes as planned, we should get you both there in a couple of hours.” Tess explains whilst scanning the area as Joel leads the way into another smaller section where a ladder was attached to the wall, leading up to the surface. “Listen, once we get up there, I need you to listen to everything we say. You follow our lead, got it?”

Ellie nods, “of course,”

“Good girl,” Olivia nods approvingly. “Just stay close, yeah?”

Again, Ellie nods. “Yeah.”

“Hold up,” Joel says whilst standing at the top of the ladder, his head peaking above the surface, scanning the area for more soldiers. “There’s a patrol up ahead,”

They wait a moment for the all clear to move ahead, their gazes locked on the Southern man above them. Olivia watches his head turn, observing the area once more before looking down briefly. “Alright, we’re good. Come on up.”

Tess leads the way, following Joel up the ladder and climbing up to the surface. Ellie soon mirrors her actions before turning just as Olivia also climbs the ladder and steps up beside her. “Watch your step,” Joel warns whilst bending over to slide the wooden board back in its place above the obvious hole in the ground.

The rain falls much heavier than it had been earlier, dropping large droplets upon them accompanied by a roar of thunder and an air shattering flash of lightening that causes Olivia to scrunch up her nose in distaste.

“This rain ain’t gonna do us any good.” Joel complains.

“You’re telling me,” Olivia mutters whilst fixing her dampened ponytail into a tight bun with only a few loose strands framing her pale face.

“Holy shit... I’m actually outside.” Ellie breathes in awe.

“First time?” Olivia asks with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Ellie replies, “it’s actually kinda cool.”

“Sure but it’s also very dangerous so stay close.”

“Okay,” Ellie sighs as she picks up her slow pace and catches up to the pair of smugglers leaving Olivia at the back end of the group.

They trudge through the mud in silence, being sure to keep an eye on their surroundings for any soldiers lingering about the rough area. “Up here,” Joel directs gruffly whilst climbing inside an old trailer, his movements steady as to avoid slipping.

“Careful, El.” Olivia breathes as she follows suit with Tess and Ellie just ahead of her. The three make there way towards Joel, only to abruptly come to a stop when an armed soldier steps into their line of sight and hits Joel hard in the side of the head with the butt of his rifle, sending the Southern man to his knees with a pained groan.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” another soldier orders, the voice feminine enough to suggest they were female as they train their gun on the women.

Olivia frowns, her hands lifting above her head along with Ellie and Tess, whilst her concerned gaze flickers to Joel who is still on his knees with his own hands behind his head, his back to them.

The male soldier who had hit Joel steps forward, his hard gaze trained on the women as he orders them to move – which they reluctantly do. “I said move!” the same soldier spits whilst nudging Olivia with his gun forcefully, sending her on her knees between Joel and Ellie.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Joel growls but his threat is met with silence, the soldier having now taken to scanning their necks.

“Look the other way, we can make this worth your while.” Tess says over the roar of thunder as the scanner is pressed firmly against her neck before the soldier moves to scan Joel.

“Shut up,” the soldier mutters, annoyed at the situation. “I’m getting tired of this shit.”

“This is Ramirez at Sector Twelve. Requesting pick up for four stragglers.”

“Look the other way,” Olivia demands with a glare, her protective instinct rising up as the man finishes scanning her and moves towards an anxious Ellie. “You don’t want to do that,” she warns darkly, her gaze flickering between the scanner against Ellie’s neck and the soldier whose eyes have visibly widened at her result.

“What the fu-”

“Ellie, now!” Olivia calls out causing Ellie to swing around with her switchblade in hand, driving the blade into the soldiers lower leg, sending him tumbling to his knees long enough for Olivia to swing her leg around, roundhouse kicking him in the face and knocking him out.

“Shit,” Ellie breathes when Olivia turns around at the sound of a gunshot, just able to catch a glimpse of Joel leaning back from the dead soldier with a pistol in hand.

“You okay?” Olivia asks Ellie with concern, her feet already carrying her to the young girl as she shudders at the events that just took place.

“I-I thought we’d just hold them up or something...” she trails off, her eyes locked on the dead soldier beside Joel.

“Oh shit, look.” Tess suddenly says with a glare shot Olivia’s way as she tosses the scanner to Joel.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters whilst rubbing at his face with frustration, “we were set up. Why the hell are we smuggling an infected girl?”

“I’m not infected.” Ellie informs them.

“No? So this was lying?” Joel counters angrily whilst throwing the scanner at her feet, his glare shifting to focus on Olivia.

“She isn’t lying to you. We can explain,” Olivia insists with folded arms, standing protectively in front of Ellie's crouched form.

Tess lifts her gun, readying it to do what most would deem merciful. “You’d better explain fast,” she warns shortly.

“Look at this,” Ellie says whilst rolling up her damp sleeve to reveal the bite on her right arm that still sent a wave of shock through Olivia.

Joel scoffs, lifting a hand to dismiss the teen with disinterest, distancing himself emotionally like he usually did in these situations. “I don’t care how you got infected.”

“It’s three weeks old!” Ellie exclaims desperately, her brows dipped.

“No!” Tess interjects, “everyone turns within two days so you stop with the bullshit.”

“It isn’t bullshit,” Olivia tells them sternly, her patience wearing thin. “I’ve been with her for the last twenty four hours and nothing. It’s three weeks old, like she is saying.” she confirms. “Besides, do you really think I’d help set you up?” her question is directed to Joel.

Though the moment he turns to her with a hardened expression and scoffs, she instantly regrets asking it. “Yeah, I do.” he drawls angrily.

His words send a wave of hurt through the young woman, striking her in the chest with enough force to leave her winded. They had a past, one that thrived on their trust in one another and now he had just shattered it in pieces. Now, she was pissed.

“Fuck you,” she spits coldly, her wall rebuilding itself as she turns on the spot and reaches out to grip Ellie’s arm, pulling the young teen to her feet and turning her focus to Tess. “We are heading to the Capitol building. You’re welcome to come with but I’m not gonna beg you to believe us.” then with a lingering glare shot towards Joel, she gently guides Ellie down into a low ravine and under a trailer surrounded by walls of soggy dirt.

“Shit, Tess run!” Joel’s voice rings out, followed by fast footsteps as he and Tess follow Olivia and Ellie after noticing the SUV’s approaching them. The four of them duck behind a large metal vent, avoiding the lights scanning the area for them.

“They’re calling in more soldiers,” Ellie whispers fearfully, her tone prompting Olivia to reach out and interlace their fingers.

“Get ready to sprint,” she whispers whilst peaking up at the light that shifts to focus on the right, “now!” she says whilst standing upright and pulling Ellie with her. The four of them sprint across the ravine, down into a deeper trench and through three more wide pipes, managing to avoid the patrolling soldiers whilst doing so.

“Here, this way.” Joel calls over his shoulder as he leads the way through waist high rain water towards a metal gate that leads out of the cities borders and further into the remains of the bombed surrounding areas.

They step through the gate with Tess smoothly closing it behind herself as Ellie moves to sit on a rock with Olivia at her side rummaging though her bag pack. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Ellie pants before mumbling a quiet thanks when Olivia hands her an unopened bottle of water.

“They’re gone,” Joel says suddenly after scanning the area above.

Tess acknowledges him with a short nod, her breathing heavy. She turns to Ellie and crouches at the girl’s side, her expression softer than it had been minutes ago. “Look – what was the plan? Say we deliver you to the fireflies, what then?” she asks.

“Marlene... she said that they have their own type of quarantine zone with doctors still working on finding a cure.”

Joel shakes his head at her response, an incredulous scoff escaping him. “Yeah, we’ve heard that before, huh, Tess?”

“She said that whatever happened to Ellie is the key to finding a cure.” Olivia finishes whilst making an extra effort to ignore the stubborn man to her left.

“Oh, Jesus.” Joel drawls, annoyed.

“It’s what she said,”

“Oh, I’m sure she did.”

“Hey, fuck you, man!” Ellie snaps aggressively, her annoyance with Joel boiling above the surface. “I didn’t ask for this!” she says whilst pulling herself to a stand and pointing at him.

“Me neither,” the older man says lowly as he steps towards her before turning to his fellow smuggler. “Tess, what the hell are we doing here?”

“What if its true?” Tess asks him.

“I can’t believe-” he trails off in disbelief, stepping away and turning with his back to her.

“What if, Joel? I mean we’ve come this far, let’s just finish it.” Tess follows him, allowing him to reach out and tug her to the side away from their unwanted company.

“Do I need to remind you what’s out there?”

Tess doesn’t answer him right away, clearly having seen through the man enough to know the real issue he had. She looks over their shoulders at the young woman and teen, her eyes softening before she returns her attention to Joel with a knowing look – her mind already made up. “I get it,” she tells him quietly.

The man shakes his head, watching Tess walk away towards the remains of the city just slightly above them with Ellie following closely behind. He frowns at the words lingering in his head, I get it. Though before he can say or do anything further, he feels a familiar presence storm past him, nudging her shoulder forcefully with his, her lavender perfume filling his nostrils.

He lifts his head as a pang of guilt and regret shoots through him, his head shaking as he trails after the women.

“If we cut through downtown we can reach the capitol building by sunrise.” Tess calls over her shoulder whilst averting her gaze up to the slanted yellow sign hung loosely above them.

“We hope.” Joel mumbles pessimistically.

The group headed further up ground, passing by the many rotten and rusted cars scattered along the broken highway. They climb effortlessly up the steep and crooked terrain, listening intently for any sign of danger.

“Holy moly. I guess this is what these buildings look like up close.” Ellie says in awe, tilting her head back to get a good look at the slanted building. “They're so damn tall,” she observes.

Olivia smiles to herself, remembering the first time she had seen the skyscrapers before the outbreak. She had been in similar awe of them, but that was back when things were semi-normal, when the infection didn’t exist amongst humans. When kids could just be... well, kids.

The last thought strikes sadness in her heart, causing her smile to slip away and a frown to form in its place.

“You okay?” a familiar voice asks.

“Like you care.” Olivia scoffs before picking up her pace in an effort to catch up with Tess, leaving the brooding older man behind her without a second glance.

She almost falls into step beside the female smuggler when a loud screech rings out through the air, louder than the thundering sky. Its clearly an infected somewhere further away, far enough that Olivia doesn’t allow herself to worry all too much about it, even when Ellie asks what the sound was.

“Tess, you hear that?” Joel calls out, completely ignoring Ellie’s question.

“Yeah. It sounded pretty far away, though.”

“That was the sound of an infected,” Olivia tells Ellie with a smile, answering the girl’s previous question.

“Oh, creepy.”

“Yeah,” Olivia nods in agreement.

“Are we safe?” the teens asks nervously.

“For now,” Tess throws over her shoulder.

“So, what happened here?”

“Well, they bombed the hell out of the surrounding areas to the quarantine zones, hoping to kill off as much of the infected as possible.” Tess explains whilst coming to an abrupt stop at the edge of a large crater, she crouches on the ledge and looks down in thought. “We need to find a way around this mess,” she sighs.

“We could cut through that office building,” Olivia suggests whilst pointing to their right where the slanted building still stood. “I reckon it beats leaping to our death,” she says with a playful smile.

“I don’t know, I reckon I could nail the landing.” Ellie plays along, a grin lifting on her lips.

Olivia chuckles, “Come on,” she gestures with her head towards the building where Joel had already set off to, Tess trailing behind him. “Best catch up before we give grandpa there an aneurism,” she whispers into the girl’s ear with a smirk.

Ellie laughs quietly and nods whilst jogging alongside Olivia to catch up to the smugglers. “So, this is the downtown area?” she asks after a few quiet moments.

Olivia hums, “it was but now it’s just a giant wasteland.”

“Oh,”

“Up here, there’s a way through.” Joel calls from up ahead, pointing out an office that is missing its front wall, opening it up to the outside and giving the group easy access into the skyscraper.

“Jesus,” Olivia breathes as she pulls herself up into the room with ease. “This does not feel safe,” she voices her concerns as the building trembles from the force of the heavy winds and rain. Her fear of heights rising to the surface quicker than she can hide it. “What if it collapses?”

“It’s not gonna collapse, just keep moving and we’ll be back on solid ground in no time.” Tess reassures with a slight smile passing by her thin lips.

“Okay...” Olivia reluctantly nods.

They move through the office, searching for supplies as they do so before making their way towards the stairwell. “They've been ripped apart,” Tess observes as the group pass by two separate bodies along the stairwell.

“They look pretty fresh too.” Olivia adds whilst studying the dead soldiers with slight sympathy. “Poor bastards,” she mumbles as she wraps an arm around Ellie and steers her away from the sight.

“Is that bad?” Ellie asks.

“Might be.” Tess shrugs, “best not stick around to find out.”

“Goddammit. Clicker.” Olivia hears Joel whisper as he turns the corner onto another floor of the building. She follows his voice with Tess and Ellie just behind her, the two making polite small talk.

She leans back against the wall, watching as Joel pulls at the clicker attached to the door. She smirks as he groans in disgust at having to touch the thing, his muscles contracting as he gives it one final tug that manages to pull it free. She feels Ellie step up beside her with obvious disgust scrunching her nose.

“Geez... what’s wrong with it’s face?”

“That’s what years of infection will do to you.” Tess explains as she strides past the pair.

“So what? Are they blind?”

“Sort of,” Olivia tells her whilst moving to follow the smugglers into another room, “they see using sound.”

“Like bats?”

“Like bats,” Tess confirms with a nod.

“If you hear one clicking, you gotta hide. That’s how they spot you.” Olivia tells the teen, who nods whilst storing this new and possibly life saving information.

“This whole building feels like it’s gonna fall apart,” Joel drawls as he searches a drawer before moving to crouch underneath a fallen book shelf and into another office space.

Olivia’s anxiety intensifies at his statement, her palms beginning to sweat as she visibly gulps and turns her head to look to Tess nervously. As if sensing the younger woman’s uneasiness, Tess turns her head and offers Olivia a smile, one intending to reassure her that all would be fine. “Keep moving,” she encourages.

“Yeah... keep moving.” Olivia breathes to herself whilst watching Tess crouch under the bookshelf. Then, with a deep breath she follows the smuggler, keeping her breathing steady.

“Everything is cool, totally cool.” She hears Ellie mumbling behind her, clearly just as uncomfortable in this trembling building as she was.

The two step into the room, silently sharing a high five whilst the smugglers ransack the room for further supplies. Though, once the two seem satisfied that there is nothing more worth taking, they turn and walk to the closed door. Joel approaches it and after a few failed attempts to nudge the door open himself, he enlists Tess to help him.

It takes three good attempts before the pair are able to force the door open with Joel stumbling out into the corridor from the force he had put behind his nudge.

That’s when Olivia hears the clicking and without thought for her own safety, she rushes forward and shoves Joel out of the way of the approaching clicker. It happens in the blink of an eye; one moment she is on her feet shoving Joel and the next, she is on her back fighting off a clicker inches from her face.

“Olivia!” Ellie calls out in a panic.

“Get this fucking thing off me!” she yells out as she uses all her strength to lift the clicker away from her face and neck, high enough that the smugglers can take it out without harming her.

Joel is quick to react when he sees an opening, he swings his foot forward, connecting his boot with the clickers head with enough force to send it tumbling to the floor beside Olivia. Then, without an ounce of hesitation, he draws his pistol and shoots it in the head twice.

“You good?” Tess asks when reaching her hand down towards Olivia, pulling her to a stand with one smooth motion.

“Yeah...” Olivia pants.

“You sure?” Ellie presses with concern.

“I’m fine,”

“Okay.”

“Let’s search for supplies,” Tess suggests as her feet carry her towards the nearest room.

Olivia nods and rests against a wall for the moment, attempting to calm her heartrate and her erratic breathing. She still didn’t understand why she had so impulsively shoved Joel and therefore put herself in immediate danger but for now she didn’t care too much. She was just relieved to still be drawing breath.

“That was intense, huh?”

She turns to the teen with a forced smile, a nod accompanying it. “You could say that,” she chuckles.

“You were so brave,” Ellie compliments with admiration reflecting in her green eyes.

“More like stupid,” Joel cuts in gruffly, also leaning against a wall just opposite them with his usual scowl.

“Yeah, you’re welcome.” Olivia mutters with an eye roll, pushing herself off the wall with a huff.

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

She feels that annoyance rise in her, willing her to just curl her fingers into a fist and give the grumpy bastard a good right hook to the jaw. But with all the self control she possesses, she smirks and turns to him, approaching him slowly and only stopping when her face is mere inches from his. “If you’d have been paying more attention, I wouldn’t have had to jump in to save you. Would I, old man?” she retorts smugly before turning and walking back towards where Tess had disappeared to.

“Next time, maybe start off with a thank you.” Ellie suggests with a shrug and an awkward smile. Then she jogs after Olivia, leaving Joel to brood over the aggravating woman.

The group search the floor, finding a few bandages and alcohol scattered about the place. Olivia smiles when she finds some extra arrows stashed away in a rucksack below a broken desk, wasting no time in adding them to her growing collection.

“Okay, let’s head up.” Tess calls out causing the group to re-join at the base of a short ledge to the upper floor. “Give me a boost, Joel.”

Ellie sighs as she watches Joel get into position, clasping his hands together and readying himself as Tess places her foot into his hands and allows him to thrust her upwards towards the ledge. She and Olivia watch the older woman easily grip the ledge and pull herself up without strain. “Okay, it’s clear.” she notifies group as Olivia nudges Ellie to go next.

“Okay, kid.” Joel drawls as he allows Ellie to steady herself before repeating his previous motion of thrusting upwards. The teen manages to grip Tess’s outstretched arm and pull herself up with little help.

“You’re a natural,” Olivia compliments her with a wink.

“Pfft,” Ellie rolls her eyes playfully whilst stepping back slightly with Tess, leaving the pair below to awkwardly avoid eye contact.

“Let’s get this over with,” Olivia sighs out as she begrudgingly approaches Joel. She lifts her foot and places it into his hands carefully whilst moving her hands to rest on his broad shoulders, preparing to steady herself as his breath fans her neck momentarily.

“You ready?” he breathes with a husky tone.

She looks down, her green eyes meeting his hazel ones. She gulps and nods, fearing her voice would fail her. Then, she feels him thrust her upwards towards the ledge. Her hands release his shoulders to reach out and grip Tess’s outstretched hand while the other grips the ledge with her fingers. She pulls herself up onto it carefully, her breathing noticeably heavier as she leans back on her knees to rest a moment.

However, when she realises that Joel needs help getting up, she stands and walks to the ledge. She crouches and looks down at him, her back facing Ellie and Tess who are scanning the area for infected.

Their eyes meet once more, a silent conversation had as Joel offers her a nod. He steps back and watches as she braces herself with her left arm, resting her palm against the concrete floor before extending her right hand out to him. Then, he makes the short jump and grips her hand in his.

Olivia feels the strain of pulling his weight, her muscles burn as she places more of her own weight on her anchored arm. She pulls with all the strength remaining within her until he is able to pull himself up beside her.

“Thanks,” Joel nods appreciatively.

“Yeah,” she clears her throat, her heart racing nervously as she stands just as Ellie and Tess come running towards them, their eyes wide and voices low.

“Clickers,” Tess says in a hushed whisper, “go,” she urges whilst pulling Ellie along with her behind a desk in the next room, Olivia and Joel silently joining them seconds later.

“I got this,” Olivia breathes whilst silently moving away from the trio.

Joel reaches out to catch her wrist to stop her but he falls just short, too much distance between them. He frowns as he is forced to watch her disappear around the corner behind another desk that obscures their view of her. He holds his breath anxiously as he listens out for any sign she may need help but to his surprise, no such sound echoes in the room.

Instead, seconds after Olivia had disappeared from view, the clicker cries out in agony before a thud is heard as its lifeless body falls limply to the floor. Then, Olivia steps into view, her bloody knife in one hand and a damp rag in the other as she cleans the Clickers blood from the blade.

“Piece of cake,” she smiles.

“Good job,” Tess praises with an impressed nod. “This way,” she then directs as she climbs over a concrete block to reach the stairwell once more. Unaware that Olivia’s fear of heights awaited them just below, ready to rear its ugly head.

The building trembles once more, creaking in a manner that intensifies Olivia’s fear of the building collapsing as they jump over the stairwell railing and down into the lower floor, a slight groan escaping Ellie as she stumbles when landing on her feet.

“Stairwell’s blocked,” the girl observes with an exhausted sigh, “should we go back up?”

Olivia frowns, her heart rate picking up as she watches Tess turn to her right, staring out a broken window at the platform attached to the outside of the building.

“Ahh... this is crazy.” Tess says whilst jumping onto the platform, causing it to sway slightly. “Just don’t look down,”

“Are you serious?” Ellie asks the female smuggler, her eyes widening. Then, with a surge of courage, the teen steps forward and mimics Tess’s movements.

“Liv,” Joel calls out whilst turning to the frozen woman behind him, though she fails to acknowledge him. “Liv!” he tries again, managing to snap her out of her fear induced trance.

“What?”

“Come on, your up.”

Olivia steps back fearfully, her head shaking and her body trembling. “I-I can’t,” she stutters with tears forming in her emerald green eyes.

Joel’s brows dip with confusion as he steps towards her, searching her eyes for an explanation. Then, realisation dawns on him. She had an intense fear of heights and right now she was faced with her worst nightmare.

“Yes, you can.”

“N-No...” she refuses, again shaking her head furiously. “I’ll find another way around.”

“There is no other way around.” he tells her firmly.

“B-But-” her voice cuts out with a tremble, her eyes brimming with tears as she brings her hands up to rub at her face.

Joel’s eyes soften slightly, his head tilting at the young woman before he drops his head in thought. He wasn’t willing to leave her behind, so, that left him with the task of convincing her to step onto that platform.

“I need you to trust me,” he drawls gently, earning an incredulous scoff in response.

“That’s a rich request given you admitted a half hour ago that you don’t trust me.” she retorts.

Joel sighs, “I was angry.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Angry people say things they don’t mean,” he drawls lowly whilst avoiding eye contact with her.

His response coaxes a light laugh from the brunette, a smile resting on her lips. “I see your apologies have improved in the last ten years,” she remarks sarcastically.

She sees it for the briefest moment; the ghost of a smile that passes by the older man’s lips at her remark, the amusement that dances in his eyes before he shakes his head at her slightly and reaches out a hand towards her.

“Do you trust me?” he asks her finally, his eyes locking with hers.

Olivia pauses, her eyes searching his for something she is immediately able to find. That familiar warmth spreads through her chest, igniting something within her as she tentatively reaches our with shaky fingers to place her hand in his. “Yes,” she whispers.

“I got you,” he murmurs.

The two step closer to the broken window and the moment they do, Joel feel’s Olivia’s body tense and her hand grip his a little tighter. He feels her other hand reach towards his sleeve, curling her fingers in the material as she breathes his name, her gaze lifting to meet his own. “Please don’t let go,” she pleads.

The corner of his mouth twitches up just slightly as he nods to her, repeating his previous words to her. “I got you,” he promises.

“Okay,”

“Now, I’m gonna climb through first then I’ll help you.” he explains briefly, his voice gruff as Olivia offers him a weak nod, her focus locked on the platform hung just on the other side of the window.

Joel allows his hand to slowly release hers, his movements slow and cautious as to not frighten her further. He moves a little closer to the window and with a simple leap, he lands steadily on the metal platform causing it to buckle under his sudden weight. He pauses a moment, giving time for the platform to steady itself before he turns to Olivia with an encouraging nod. “Okay, come on.”

Her feet shuffle forward slowly, uncertainty reflecting in her eyes. Joel sees it plain as day but rather than pointing out her intense fear, he reaches his hand out to her, allowing her to grip it tightly with an appreciative smile. Then, with full trust in the older man holding her hand, Olivia makes the short jump over the window’s ledge and onto the now swaying platform.

“Shit,” she whispers as her other hand instinctively reaches out to grip the material of Joel’s flannel near his chest.

“Joel!” Tess suddenly calls out impatiently, a hint of worry in her tone. However, unbeknownst to her, the sudden sound of her voice had startled Olivia, causing the young woman to jump slightly.

“We’re comin’!” he calls back with a glare shot over his shoulder towards the female smuggler, an edge to his tone. “Gimme a minute!”

“Joel,” Olivia murmurs softly, her gaze having drifted down below them between the time of Tess calling out and him responding. “I-I can’t-”

“Look at me,” he cuts her off sternly, causing the woman to slowly lift her gaze to him with tear filled eyes, her legs shaking. “Now, you're gonna keep looking at me while taking one step at a time.” he orders.

Olivia nods at his words with a visible gulp, then she slowly but surely moves her feet along with his, walking along the platform steadily with her gaze locked on his, her grip on his shirt and hand never loosening.

It takes a few minutes longer than anticipated but eventually Joel manages to coax her onto the windows ledge and back into the safety of the building.

The two step down with relieved sighs, their grip on one another slipping away as Olivia awkwardly steps back with a sheepish smile, her fingers tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry about...”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Joel waves a hand at her, his head dipped.

“Joel,” she calls out softly as the smuggler walks to catch up with Ellie and Tess who are a little ways ahead of the pair causing the man to slow to a stop, his back to her. “Thanks,” she whispers sincerely.

Joel tilts his head a little to look at her over his broad shoulder, his eyes finding hers in the dimly lit room long enough to offer her a curt nod before he continues following after Tess.

Olivia sighs quietly to herself, sparing a final lingering glance to the open window with a shudder, then she also makes her way to catch up with the others, managing to meet up with them just as Tess agrees to wait with Ellie while Joel jumps down below to take out the number of infected scattered around the rooms.

“Hold up, I’ll come with.” she tells him whilst offering Ellie a reassuring smile upon seeing her concern for their safety.

“You should wait up here with them,”

Olivia snorts at his suggestion and with an over exaggerated eye roll, she jumps down below leaving the southern man to huff with annoyance and follow her.

“You take those two, I’ve got the others.” she instructs in a whisper, pointing out the various infected. She counts four runners and one clicker, easy enough.

“Hey,” Joel whispers to her when he notices her sneaking away from his side. She turns her head to give him her attention whilst still listening out for any approaching infected. “Quietly, yeah?”

“Pfft... this ain’t my first time, old man.” she smirks before disappearing from sight completely.

Joel shakes his head and silently moves forward, remaining crouched and focused on the runner stood feet away, groaning and gargling in an unpleasant manner. He scrunches his face up and with one quick step forward, he wraps his arm around its neck and twists, breaking it with an echoing snap.

He steps back, watching the body fall limply to the floor, his breathing slightly more laboured. He doesn’t slow down, refusing to leave the rest of the infected for Olivia to take on. So, carefully he moves forward towards a broken wall, he ducks behind it and with caution, he peeks around the side.

His mouth falls open, his eyes widening as he wordlessly watches Olivia draw her bow, lining up her shot before releasing the arrow and watching it whisk through the air, hitting its target straight in the back of the head. Then, without a moments hesitance she stands and with two quick steps forward, she drives her hunting knife into the head of the final clicker. She steps back whilst breathing heavily, her nose scrunched in disgust as she lifts her free hand to wipe away the beads of sweat lining her forehead.

Joel feels that familiar warmth in his chest, that attraction he had tried to ignore rising to the surface as he stands upright and steps into her view, letting out a low whistle. “I'm impressed,” he admits with a smirk, his arms folding over his chest as she mimics his expression.

“About damn time,” she mutters with a playful roll of her eyes.

“It’s clear, come on down!” Joel calls out whilst keeping his focus on Olivia as she bends over to retrieve her three arrows from the heads of the dead infected.

She cleans the blood from each one, along with her hunting knife, then places them back in their holsters.

“Holy shit...” Ellie whispers when she spots the few bodies on the floor.

“Impressive,” Tess compliments with a smile, her gaze drifting from her partner to the smirking brunette opposite her.

“It was nothing,” Olivia dismisses. “I think I saw a way out up there,” she tells the group whilst pointing up to a single ledge that leads up to an office door.

“Yeah, I see it.” Tess acknowledges, having already climbed up the short ledge and followed Joel to the door.

Olivia smiles and reaches out to place a hand on Ellie's shoulder, looking down at the young teen. “You okay, El?”

“Yeah,”

“You’re doing great, just keep at it.”

“Thanks,” Ellie smiles, her morale lifted at the small gesture. She needed to hear something encouraging, something that would rid her of the sinking feeling that she was more of a burden that an ally in this situation.

“Anytime,” Olivia tells her sincerely.

#joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #fanfic #zombie apocalypse

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renoxvated · 6 months ago

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So many people tended to look away from Roy, his sun too bright or his vengeance too HEAVY, he burned just as many people as he healed and sometimes those two things crossed paths in a way he couldn’t stop. For all his CHAOS, things always seemed to be inevitable with him and for all his faults he wanted his hands to be used for something better, something redeeming.

He appreciated the way Faye would look at him, like he wasn’t someone to shy away from, like he was a person, and a friend at that, not a message, not a messenger and not someone you had to walk on eggshells around, or even some kinda hero, it comforted him. For all the chaos they ended up causing together and for all the times Roy acted as if he needed to shy away from it all– he didn’t and she was here now because of that; a steadfast friend and in need of him.

Roy is glad he could make her smile given the circumstances of this meeting, even if only slightly, it was better than the expression that had been there moments before. So HAH, maybe he was good with women and knew what they wanted. No, probably not, most women probably didn’t want to be near Roy, that was fine by him he supposed never had been good at flirting anyway, wouldn’t know where to start to butter anyone up, but he’d say they’d be missing out. At least in the department of having him help with revenge killings. Which he was getting pretty good at truth be told, and strange that he kept getting involved with them. It’s how all good friendships start (or end yikes) he figures.

Roy quirks up at her mention of putting Benny in the same grave, there’s a look of utter disbelief but it’s not bad disbelief, quite the contrary. He’s in disbelief he hadn’t thought of that, in all his anger, all his grief and own thoughts of how he’d handle seeing Benny again, what he’d do to the man- he’d thought so many awful things, until he had little time to think of things beyond what other people needed from him. Then when he finally, FINALLY got to set aside everything else and just…kill Benny, there was little time to think about everything he had wanted to do.

None of it mattered, killing Benny– while satisfying, hadn’t become his end goal anymore. It had just become another goal, another mile marker on the highway he’d been on from the start of that GRAVE. “Wow, that’s fucked up as hell…wish I would have thought of THAT.” Roy lets out a loud wolf whistle and laughs though only briefly and sharply, now wasn’t the time but he can feel the sharp sensation in his chest.

“It’ll be your story soon enough, count on that you're gonna kill that bastard and I’m gonna help you find him. Rats gotta come to the surface eventually, and I’m good at sniffin’ them out.” He could tell her voice was straining and the way she stiffened up, well it might not have been as obvious of a thing but Roy could read body language better than he could read words. Getting beaten up as a kid he figured kinda left that impression on him. Roy knew the sort of grief that came along with asking for help though, knew when he finally let his walls down and let even just a few people in, it felt like everything he’d ever built up was crumbling around him.

The Courier had lost so much, and he never thought to ask what she had lost too, it made him sort of feel a pang inside– guilt. He looks up to see eyes dart to his hand, he flexes the digits without thinking, fingers curling into his palm. He may have given so many pieces of himself away over the course of his travels, but that was his choice. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, then he does as he feels a hand on his own. “Ya’ know…I had to get help too…with my revenge, isn’t shameful, racked myself over the coals thinkin’ it was…but,” Roy pauses, taking in a sharp breath, fingers uncurling themselves as the other hand slips away and leaves her shoulder, he shrugs. It was nothing now and there was a fire in her eyes. That’s what he liked to see, and he felt like a match lighting a flame. He wouldn’t let it flicker out. The Courier listens again, something at the start of his travels he hadn’t been as good at, but he’d become a different man and the same one all at once.

“Diamondbacks…” Roy gives a hum of acknowledgement, what an edgy name indeed, racking his brain to see if he’d remembered that name at all. Not much went on in New Vegas without him knowing, or House knowing– which would just mean he’d know again anyway. If there was a raider band starting to form near here that was a problem he couldn’t overlook, not when he’d already cut off the heads of the previous ones. Like a hydra from the Grognak comics he’d casually seen from time to time, (since he couldn’t read them) they’d rise again. Cut off one head, two more would appear…or in this case; one.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry to hear what happened to her friend, it wouldn’t bring the man back though and he was sure she’d heard the words enough for them to not make her feel any better. If he wanted to show Faye his sympathies he’d do so with results. “I haven’t heard of em’, so sounds like you’ve gotten more information than me on em’.... I imagine that’s what they want.” Roy muses out loud, he gives way to a look of thought.

“That being said, if you know the general area they’re in I’ll grab my shit and we can leave now, but if you need more information, I might know a guy who might know more. Major Dhatri, works for the NCR, owes me some favor after I dealt with his raider problem. Keeps track of em’ like it’s his real job. Either way, we’ll bust some skulls, for Varyk and you.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Roy lets out a laugh, he didn’t expect anything less from her, she was a wild card in that way, but that’s the sort of thing that made her stand out from the rest of the wastelanders he’d met. Hadn’t quite met anyone else like Faye (well besides himself in a lot of ways) and if he was being honest he’d always liked her company even if he did give her shit.

To be fair Roy gave anyone he met a hard time though at best and a hassle or some shit stirring. “Besides, you're helping a business owner in Freeside where they really need it. What could be illegal about such a good deed?” Roy gives her a little look of as much innocence as The Courier can muster up, he’s hardly such a thing after all. Then she’s sealing her lips and throwing away the key, good, Roy thinks. Not because he’d grown to be attached to some of the Robots (him noooo never???) and definitely not because he didn’t want to hurt their feelings (or anger the big man behind the…screen.) Roy snorts, robots didn’t have feelings, well except for all the ones he loved.

“Yeah, I know a thing or two about what women like to hear, what can I say.” Laughing and shaking his head Roy definitely didn’t know what would make anyone feel actually special to try and impress them. His idea of being impressed was shit like ‘could you pants a feral ghoul without being noticed …’ or ‘hey punch that deathclaw in it's BIG OL' snout’ both of which he’d been impressed by from Faye when they’d tried to do shit like that, back before the days of The Strip or the world at large got involved . Though he doesn’t really recall how well either of those things panned out, but they were both here alive and mostly intact.

“Oh you’ll love to hear it, s’my best story yet, cause people always say dig two graves or some shit for revenge but I already got pulled out of a grave so I’d say it still was pretty fucking awesome.” Revenge didn’t leave him hollow, he was already so hollowed out before then that he thinks it’s just filled him up, and after? It wasn’t any different than before. He was thankfully too busy to bother with the what comes next. Anyone who ever said revenge killed you too wasn’t someone who needed revenge.

Hearing her whistle made him feel ten shades of fancy and maybe just one shade of red. Then she touched him and while he felt the hug, a warm embrace he allowed himself, he couldn’t feel any kind of sensation on his arm. He doesn’t really miss that feeling but it never got any less jarring to watch. In a way he was living the life now wasn’t he?

Up in some tall tower looking down on things like some kind of High Roller, but it felt a lot like being stuck in a snowglobe sometimes, looking out at the world around you while you sat on a shelf. He’d earned it, after everything he’d been told, he just did what he had to do and yet— he’s brought back to reality. Roy chuckles a snort escaping at the joke.

“I’ll have to make sure to lose the leg then next, have you sign it after.” He jokes, though he doesn’t care to lose another limb, doesn’t think he could handle it and he’s handled a lot but that…

Roy swats her hand away, mostly in the sort of way that says he actually appreciated her words with the way his face is now two shades redder. It wasn’t often he got compliments, if any at all, didn’t rightfully know how to handle them beyond childish bullying back. Roy sticks out his tongue, scrunching up his nose petulantly. “I’m reallll charming, got you up here didn’t I?” He teases back, watching as she looks around the casino floor in the way to the elevator. For a moment The Courier had kept walking, ready to turn around and give the next wry remake about something she'd probably of laughed at before dishing it back at him, he thinks-- instead when he turns around to speak Faye's standing there. Still. "Roy tilts his head, "Cat got your tongue?" Roy had never seen a cat before but he heard they liked to steal tongue's or something... that look though, he'd seen it before; maybe not on Faye but he had so many times all the same.

'I need your help,' The words ring out, she speaks fast, nervous or maybe annoyed and LOUD. Roy's face shifts into something serious, doesn't play around or joke when someone speaks those four words. For Faye of all people to be asking him for help? She was a strong women, was one of the reasons why Roy respected her so much, on most occasions she could deal with things in a better stride than Roy, he thinks, although he'd never admit it. Faye started to speak again, and Roy gave her the stage to do so, recalling briefly her mentioning a few times in what seemed like passing now about her mission, something she too had to do. Roy hadn't been one to pry, everything had been so fast pace and sometimes violent and dangerous around them he'd never processed what she could have meant anyway. Finally Roy decides to talk, his tone deadly serious but he places a hesitant hand on his shoulder, he doesn't know what else to do, knows that maybe...maybe this is what he'd want someone else to do. "If you want him dead... I'll help you find him." He wouldn't help her kill him, no he knew what that kind of revenge meant to someone. No questions asked but he trusted her enough not to. If her gun ever wavered though, if she needed someone to help steady her hands-- he could help her pull that trigger. Somehow he didn't think she needed that kind of help though, he knows he sure as hell didn't. Fuckin' raiders. "we can track whoever this sonofabitch is that's got you here down, if that's what you want my help for."

#ruinouss #thread ; dead on arrival #ooc: i almost cried cause i deleted this reply on accident but i had it saved on googledocs BLESS LOL

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