#superman hates bald people

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #513 (June 1994)

"THE BATTLE FOR METROPOLIS," Part 4! The Death of Project Cadmus! (Well, "death" in comic book terms.) After the events of last issue, in which a bunch of Cadmus-brand rockets exploded all around Metropolis, a royally pissed-off Superman heads to the formerly top secret government installation to register his displeasure with Director Westfield... only to find out that someone beat him to it, because Westfield has been murdered.

Since Cadmus' top dorks don't have much experience shouting orders at soldiers (the guy in charge of that just died), Superman steps in to fill that role while they try to figure out who killed Westfield and where his ear went.

Given that Cadmus' other, nerdier directors have spent days in a probably very stinky lab trying to come up with a cure for the Clone Plague ravaging Metropolis (and a small part of Hawaii), the main suspect for Westfield's murder is Dr. Carl Packard, a nervous little guy who tends to disappear for days. Also, he was just found wandering the hallways muttering about someone who "deserves death," so that doesn't look too good for him. Before Packard can explain himself (he was talking about his other evil boss, Lex Luthor), the whole murder mystery matter is shuffled aside when the nerds actually find the key to curing the Plague: the blood of one of the few clones who didn't get sick, the Guardian! Hope he's got a lot of it.

As it turns out, they need Packard to create that Guardian-fueled cure, so everyone agrees to forget about the fact that he's probably a murderer for a while. As soon as they let Packard near a computer, however, he uses the secret program in all LexCorp PCs that notifies Lex if someone types his name (yes, Lex was the original "searches himself on Twitter all day" billionaire) to send him a message telling him about the cure. Instead of letting Packard cook and then stealing the cure, the Plague-stricken and increasingly insane Lex orders his Lex-Men to invade Cadmus and kidnap the Guardian. To be fair, he does look like he's about 15 seconds away from shriveling up into a prune, so I get the urgency.

So, Superman and the few Cadmus soldiers in there (most are out fighting angry clones in Metropolis) have to defend the facility from an army of flying armored goons while the nerds try to work on the cure. Lex uses a hologram of himself when he still had hair to try to convince Superman that he should let Superboy, the Newboy Legion kids, and all those sewer clones die so that Lex himself can live ("Would you let Einstein die to save the Bowery Boys?"), but somehow he isn't dissuaded. Not only that, but Superman even calls Lex "contemptible"... and, uh, everyone else who uses a wig.

Lex must have really hated that crack about his baldness, because the next thing he does is order the Lex-Men to blow up Cadmus' reactor and kill everyone inside. If he can't have the cure, no one can. Superman looks a bit overwhelmed with the soon-to-explode reactor and the Lex-Men trying to stop him from containing it (so much so that he calls them "idiots," about the strongest insult you'll hear from this Superman), but then someone stops by to help him: patient zero of the Clone Plague cure...

...Superboy! Who could barely stand up the last time we saw him and is now flying and punching goons, so looks like that cure is working. Superman tells the Kid to take those goons outside while he tries to prevent the reactor from exploding, but as soon as Superboy makes it out, there's a huge explosion and the mountain surrounding Cadmus collapses. Superboy wants to start digging up the survivors, but Superman tells him not to bother: everyone is dead. And he'll make Luthor pay for this and all his other sins, once and for all... next week, in Action Comics #700!

TO BE CONCLUDED, obviously.

Plotline-Watch:

That's it for Project Cadmus, and everyone who worked in it, which will never appear ag-- ok, no one actually believes that. We'll see how they saved themselves and why Superman is pretending they died next issue. Note, however, that Superboy isn't pretending to believe that some of his best friends are buried under a mountain, so his chipperness in that final panel is disturbing.

As you've probably guessed if you've been paying attention, the one who stole Westfield's ear was the same maniac who killed him, disgraced geneticist Dabney Donovan. I don't remember if Dabney ever used Westfield's ear in one of his experiments, but even if he didn't, at least he got to use it for a couple of corny jokes.

Poor Dr. Happersen... he's trying to tell his boss he loves him and would never betray him, and Lex cuts him off and yells at him. Plus, in the same page Lex made it clear that he still isn't totally convinced Happersen isn't Lois Lane's informant, even thought it obviously isn't him. It's hard not to read that exchange with Smithers' and Mr. Burns' voices.

There's a nice little moment with the Guardian, originally a Captain America self-ripoff by Cap creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, saying he's okay with dying to make the cure because he's lived a very long life. Lines like that work better when it's a character who's actually been around since the '40s. I wouldn't have minded if he had died during this storyline -- they could always make another clone later on (and seeing him struggle to live up to his own legacy might have been interesting).

Patreon-Watch:

The latest Patreon-only post was about an Elseworlds story where Superman turns into a cursed spirit haunting a villain, one where he turns the X-Men into the JLA, and (briefly) one where Bizarro teams up with every other DC villain whose name ends in "O." Join Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Gaetano Barreca at the Superman '86 to '99 Patreon!

And now, more from Don Sparrow (whose newsletter you should be subscribed to, by the way)...

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it’s a pretty good one, with co-star Guardian in well-drawn technological peril, and I never tire of blasts bouncing off Superman. 

Inside the book we are greeted with a poster (or at least sticker) worthy image of an on-edge Superman flying at the viewer, his Tarzan-like mane flowing in the wind.

Kitson’s art at this time is a bit strange to me—it might be the inker, or more likely it’s the era—the early 90s demanded everything be a bit more exxxxxxtreme and Jim-Lee-like in its rendering, but it mostly seems at odds with Kitson’s naturalistic drawing style.  So you get weird in-between drawings, like on page 2 where Superman is yelling, but his mouth appears to barely be open (as opposed to page 5, when Dr. Packard shouts in surprise, and his mouth appears to be fully extended). 

A page later Superman’s surprise (and perhaps grief?) at Westfield’s death is captured well. 

On page 4, the fun really begins, as Kitson seems to really have a ball drawing the insane and Dr. Robotnik-like Dabney Donovan, and his comedic use of a stolen body part. 

A small thing, but worth mentioning: Kitson and McCarthy absolutely kill it when it comes to reflective surfaces.  Throughout the issue, the shiny glasses are on point.  Great stuff there, particularly with the two-tone colouring of a Lex-Men soldier on page 16.

On page 10 we get our latest look at Lex Luthor, and it ain’t pretty.  The little lines on his flesh make it seem so fragile and sickly. 

The full page splash of Cadmus mountain imploding seems like a bit of a missed opportunity, as Superboy isn’t really facing the “camera” and the destruction is mostly dust.  Finally, on page 21, the drawing of Superman’s righteous anger at Lex wreaking death and destruction is a great one.

In contrast to Superman #90, where I felt not a lot happened, this issue is chock full of activity, with a race against the clock to find a cure for the clone sickness, Lex-Men invaders, and a core meltdown, plus a little pop-in with Dabney AND a Superboy cameo—it’s a big one, and a nice hors d’oeuvres for the very BIG number coming next week. 

SPEEDING BULLETS:

I think Dr. Packard should be played by Micro Machines Motormouth, John Moschitta Jr.  It would certainly make his scientific explanations a lot funnier to imagine them being said at lightspeed.

Superboy makes a reference to a Nancy Kerrigan commercial, which was probably this one for Campbell’s Chicken noodle, where the otherwise waify and demure Ms. Kerrigan bodychecks a hockey player (the Campbell’s slogan, at the time, was “Never Underestimate the Power of Soup”, which is the line that gets cut off as Superboy speaks). [Max: Fun fact, in the Spanish version I read in the '90s, Superboy just says "I learned this from a TV ad." Guess they didn't have space for a footnote explaining who Nancy Kerrigan was...]

GODWATCH: Interesting that Big Words seems to be a believer, as Guardian bravely takes the experimental treatment, the man of science prays that Jim Harper has a “personal guardian”.  

This is a pretty testosterone-driven issue—I can’t remember off-hand another issue that had not a single female appear in the story. [Max: There IS a female Cadmus trooper in page 1, but she doesn't speak, unless she's supposed to be yelling "SSSSHHOOOOOOM!" as Superman flies by... which I'd totally do.]

[smallcloisville]

MY SUPERMAN 2025 TEASER RANT

It took me to process the teaser (believe me I am still processing) but I have so much to say.

First I would like to talk about the ✨colors✨

The colors! Oh My Rao! for so long I was craving the bright colored Superman movie. I wanted colors that would hurt my eyes and capture my heart and Gunn gave us that.

There have been talks that since it was just the teaser they might brush up more, I wouldn't mind that. Just make it more golden tinted.

DAVIDDD!!!

Again the perfect choice! I know it's presumptuous but when I saw him stumbling through the crowd as Clark with his clumsy hands and curly hair with contrast with a brightly colored Superman suit having the lil curl and saving children. I KNEW I KNEW I FOUND MY CLARK/SUPERMAN. HE IS SO GONNA NAIL IT.

RACHEL ♥️💜

We didn't see Rachel much in action but I have had the pleasure of knowing her through other interviews and some other media. She talks so fast and she has that "ENERGY" to play Lois. So I know she is gonna be THE LOIS LANE. MY WIFE. MY LOVE 😭😭

Thanking Gunn again for giving her the purple outfit.

CLOIS!cLoIs!CLOISS!cloisssssssss

I felt the connection between them and they are gonna give me heart attacks (I am already having mini ones through these pics/teaser). The flying together moment! making out in the kitchen! staring deep into each other's souls while the world is ending! Stares while working at the planet! Giving each other hugs and being each other's hope during tough times! GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT ALL TO ME.

And we already know there is no "2 people love triangle" so we would have other aspects of their relationship.

OUR MOVIE STAR KRYTO

Simply one of the best decisions to include him cuz we never had him on the big screen. That cape🥹 he just warmed my heart. My smile was so big when Superman whistled for him (can't get that whistle out of my head, I feel things) and he came running.

Our hero Krypto 🥰 nothing should happen to him! And that's a warning!

Lex Luthor

He hates Superman so much that we can feel him loathing. We all know Nicholas is gonna be great as Lex given how well he played the psychos before. And that shiny bald head gave me flash blindness🫡

There are also talks that there are gonna be Ultraman and Grodd(I like to think of Mallah)

Other ICONIC heroes

Mr Terrific is looking really terrific.

Hawkgirl can slay me anytime.

Guy Gardener and his bowl cut. That's it!

Debut of Metamorpho.

Fortress and Kelex

We are gonna get the actual crystal like fortress🤧🤧 just like Krypton atmosphere.

Also Kelex!!! he better be alright too.

Other thoughts

We are gonna get the entire daily planet crew!?!!!!

This kid is representing us. How much we need SUPERMAN!

The score

That "Superman superman" I can't get that out of my head. I randomly throughout the day start chanting superman's name...

That John Murphy's theme inspired by John Williams is fire 🔥🔥🔥

I am so happy that Gunn decided to make everything so comic-like/colorful yet feels so real and attractive. I missed these early 2000s vibes of fun movies.

I FELT a strong sense of HOPE while watching the teaser. Don't know what's gonna happen when I watch trailer and movie??

Mark my words : lives are gonna change, history will be created, souls and hearts gonna heal, we will have something to forward to everyday! I am so ready!!!

[liam-zor-el]

part of the reason early post-crisis lex is so bad to me is that it took everything enjoyable out of his character.

he didn't live in smallville with clark as a kid leading to his vendetta against superman for making him bald, now he killed his parents for life insurance or whatever and just hates superman because he won't work for him and does good with his powers. not a bad idea for his origin, but it's the rest of how he's handled that's just bleak.

he used to be a genius super-scientist who made evil inventions to take down superman, but because he's a ceo now, instead of doing his villainy himself, he just gets his underlings to do it. because what's more interesting than seeing the super-villain fight the hero? seeing them tell other people to do it and sit around, i guess. and instead of doing super genius things, we get to see him be abusive and creepy to the women who work for him. how fun.

i personally think comic book super villains should be at least a little fun or enjoyable to read. like with the joker, you can use them in serious ways, but there should also be the space for more wacky stories. the version of lex byrne created didn't have any room that. it's just not as fun to make jokes about post-crisis lex being gay for superman or whatever when he's a realistic misogynistic, creepy boss who is abusive to the women who work for him.

i think nowadays there's a good balance between the two where lex can be a rich ceo and also a crazy scientist that's fun to read about, but during the 80's and 90's it wasn't great

[rovethings]

Was thinking to myself that if Alex the Tech Guy really is Lex Luthor (and I'm holding off that unless the guy became bald or they drop the LL initials in the show) this will be the first time we see Lex slowly working his way up to the top? I would honestly LOVE it.

Because in comics we all know Lex was born poor in Smallville/Suicide Slums, but he's always established as the owner of Metropolis when Superman shows up when that can't possibly be realistic true - you can't have him be in Smallville and friends with Clark and then have him as a well established influential billionaire by the time 24 years old Clark appears as Superman. Because if Clark is around that age, then Lex is *also* around that age.

And sure I hate people who bitch about realism in comics but this is something I've always wanted to see touched upon. How did Lex gains his fortune? What influences he had to go from mentally ill mega uber genius to cold hearted kryptonite obsessed billionaire? How did he work around the fact he had no social standing while around people who always had money and power? How did that affect his self steem? And while I actually hate what maws is doing with some villains - giving them tech instead of powers - this will be more interesting take than just making Lex come from money like Jesse's Lex or Smallville Lex.

[zalrb]

So I know you don’t think the cast of The Boys gel and I’m inclined to agree. What do you think of the actual acting and characters? Are Homelander and Butcher compelling characters, or are they poorly written?

I’ve been struggling with the Homelander question myself because I think he’s a very fun character. I love seeing him become more and more unraveled, but I’m not sure what to make of him because the show itself has that question of responsibility: how much is Homelander responsible for considering his upbringing and how he’s been manipulated by Vought his entire life, but also how can he not be held responsible for his crimes when he’s literally the most powerful man on Earth? Like you said, it’s very muddled and I’m not sure what to make of it.

Butcher is a bit easier for me because I think he made a good anti-hero at first, but again with the muddling because he hates supes for what they did to him, but now he’s willing to become one? I get that the point of Butcher is that he has no principles and the ends justify the means for him, but I’d like to see more consistency than “I want Homelander dead” from him.

It's always difficult for me to explain my feelings about The Boys because I find that its balance is off, sometimes the satire is so, painfully "yes, ok we get it" overt and sometimes it hits and sometimes I'm like, so what are you saying with this? and sometimes I'm like ... so you're missing your own supposed point

And Homelander as a character is all three things, which is why I end up making posts like

because it all gets muddled and the fan reactions get unhinged and I think it's because the writers want to have their cake and eat it too.

Like, outside of the show, Kripke is always like, how are people not understanding the character?

He says that Homelander was always a stand-in for Trump but it gets more obvious in season 3

The evil-Superman-style character Homelander is becoming more and more of a direct Trump analogue this season. What was your thinking there? He’s always been a Trump analogue for me. I’ll admit to being a little more bald this season than I have in past seasons. But the world is getting more coarse and less elegant. The urgency of our team’s writing reflects that. We’re angrier and more scared as the years go on, so that is just being reflected in our writing. But part of it is where Homelander’s story naturally goes. He has this really combustible mix of complete weakness and insecurity, and just horrible power and ambition, and it’s just such a deadly combo. Of course he would feel victimized that people are angry that he dated a Nazi. All he ever wants is to be the most powerful person he can be, even though he’s completely inadequate in his abilities to handle it. So it’s white-male victimization and unchecked ambition. And those issues just happened to reflect the guy who, it’s just still surreal to say it, was fucking president of the United States. And it’s a bigger issue than just Trump. The more awful public figures act, the more fans they seem to be getting. That’s a phenomenon that we wanted to explore, that Homelander is realizing that he can actually show them who he really is and they’ll love him for it. 

and that's there. Like, Homelander is written obviously as a villain, Homelander is written obviously as a narcissist who will do anything to protect his image, it's there from Day One but I think the writing is infatuated with the character. Like, even more so than with Butcher, who Kripke calls the hero of the show. I think the writing is fascinated by Homelander's psychology

I love it. There’s a smaller moment with Homelander where he’s having this conversation with himself in the mirror. And it gives new insight into his psyche. What do you hope viewers take away from that scene?

You know, our take on Homelander is even though he’s a sociopath, he’s also a human being who has reactions and feelings. To me, the biggest sin that Homelander commits is that he hates that he has feelings and he hates that he’s a human being. You know, if he embraced that part of him more, he might be a happier person who isn’t going to destroy the planet. I think in the original version of it, the figure in the mirror was just this kind of cruel browbeating character telling Homelander what a loser he was.

And, Antony [Starr] called me and said, “What if it’s his childhood friend? And what if they have this connection because he was alone for so long that he ended up creating this relationship with an image of himself? And that’s what got him through these situations?” And I was like, that’s awesome. Because one, it’s sad, but it’s also really scary. [This is] a guy with multiple personality disorder. And that part of him is saying, “Cut out the part of you that’s human.” I don’t want people to sympathize with Homelander but I do want them to understand him a little more. I look at that scene, and I get a little scared by it, too.

and I'm like ... I don't know, it seems like the writing wants me to sympathize with him and that's why you and I are having this conversation because the execution of this isn't striking the right balance so when the right-wing fans freaked out in season 3 and there was that reddit shitstorm, it's like yeah, Homelander (and Blue Hawk) is clearly a villain, literally just look at what he does. Yeah, you were being wilfully obtuse if you didn't see that the show was always a political satire. But I think they picked up on the glee and fascination the writing has with Homelander and that's why they expected a redemption arc.

And when it comes to the basic concept of a superhero who is actually sociopathic and terrorizes the people he publicly makes a show out of saving, I can understand being fascinated by that because it's an interesting concept and that aspect of it. This,

We are a superhero show, but we deconstruct and break down and shine a light on the complete fucking absurdities of a superhero show and poke a lot of fun at what it is to be a superhero, and how stupid that world is, and how horrible they’d be as people.

they do well and clearly but when you make that concept inherently political and tie that up in an exploration of fascism and nationalism and capitalism and racism and you're not ... doing anything with it, then what's the point of his character. He's a Trump stand-in, OK ... and ... what? Like ... what?

Like with Succession, they're all toxic, broken, horrible, sinfully wealthy white people and the show is upfront in sympathizing with them, in doing what it can to find their humanity, in exploring abusive parental dynamics but it's also making clear commentary and I can see the commentary and I can trace the commentary and the fandom can argue about what exactly they're saying but they're clearly saying something.

Kripke says they're making commentary but it feels like a half-finished thought at best. You're noticing how the more politicians behave badly in public, the more their base loves them so you're showing that with Homelander and ... what? He talks about exploring the cycles of toxic masculinity because Soldier Boy is his father and the two of them have done the same things in their romantic relationships

"The fact that they are both genuinely stunned that the women in their lives hate them tells you everything you need to know about how blinded they are by their own egos," said the producer. "So no, love does not redeem you when you're a horrible person who is completely blind to other people's emotions."

but Homelander didn't even know he had a father until this season, for his entire life he just thought he was made in a tube, so the generational cycles angle isn't really working for me, and again what are you saying with this, what is the point?

Like, when they're poking fun at the left with how out-of-touch they can be and how they commodify movements and identities, the intent is clear, I don't get that with Homelander.

And I think an issue for me with this as well is that a very vocal portion of the fandom is doing the very thing with the characters that the writers are apparently satirizing or criticizing so, like, Stormfront for instance, there is clear irony in a lot of her scenes and this is when they're making overt commentary. Like, she is a literal nazi but she made a quip about how the female superheroes should have uniforms with pockets so she's an internet sensation, I get that, and that played out with the fandom and the character, which is why I made a post like

and that happens continuously with Homelander. And maybe an argument could be made that that isn't the writers' fault considering how in season 3 specifically, Homelander fans realized that they're the punchline which means that they're doing something right but I think because they want to keep writing Homelander, keep wanting to see what he'll do next, keep coming up with disturbing, weird shit for him to do, and there's an infatuation with that, they're not executing what they say they're executing as well as they could and that's a failing to me.

With Butcher, his entire personality seems to be summed up with

there is no greater good, there is no altruism, there is no honour, there is no loyalty, there's just

and that's all you really need to know.

In terms of the acting, I think Anthony Starr does a good job in showing how unhinged Homelander is. Karl Urban is a bit cartoonish for me.

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week?

Anonymous asked: Comics this week ? Especially Ultimate Spider-Man.

Anonymous asked: What did you think about Ultimate Spider-Man?

Ultimate Spider-Man #1 - Dare I say it: Amazing. Spider-Man is back to being the best/hottest book on the market. Like the original USM we go an entire first issue without Peter even wearing the costume, but every bit of set-up here felt like it was expanding the kind of possibilities for where Hickman could go. Peter and MJ both sound and feel right in a way the 616 version do not anymore. MJ being a business owner and the real bread winner of the family raises an interesting possibility in a world where corporations run everything. How far could she possibly climb? Enough to attract the Council's attention? I called Ben living in this universe while May died, but I did not see Ben and Jonah being the best buddy duo of 2024. Love their dynamic and I really hope neither of the two die any time soon. I like what I see of Ben, he's the same principled guy as always, but he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder here that explains why Peter usually does too. Normally we just don't get to see that because he only exists to die. Can't talk about the kids too much yet, although I want that scene of May holding the ball with the spider to be foreshadowing her own future as Spider-Girl.

Spider-Man has always been an interesting hybrid of the Superman/Batman archetypes, but 6160 Peter I think leans more towards the Superman side. Besides the obvious similarity of Peter being an investigative reporter, here being a hero is what he wants, he's seemingly motivated not by guilt like 616 Peter, but out of a sense of altruism and also a desire for more from his life. Oh and his first big foe is a bald guy who controls NYC via money. Guess the "reveal" regarding the variant covers is that Peter's StarkTech suit (can't believe Hickman went there and did it in a way I don't hate) is that it can shift in appearance between the different suits at will. I cannot wait to see the Peter and Harry dynamic play out, sure looks like we will see their friendship form from joining forces as Spider-Man and Green Goblin, only to fall apart as Harry falls more and more into madness. Now I really want to see him married to Gwen, but it seems like he's a bachelor. Perhaps Gwen is a cop in this universe and she might still enter the fray.

Responsibility is the ubiquitous theme of Spider-Man, but here it's presented in a different light. Peter had a heroic destiny taken from him, and he accepts it back willingly despite the costs it's sure to inflict. Hickman seems to be tackling the idea that the rich and powerful have robbed us of the glorious future we were supposed to have, and now the question is if there are enough good people who feel responsible for the collective good left in the world to take that future back. Certainly a relevant topic, one that puts a new spin on Marvel being "the world outside your window".

Action Comics #1061 - Timms levelled up on art and gave us one hell of a fight sequence. Poor Jupiter is down one moon. Good issue, Bizarro tapping into magic to recreate his home via replacing Superman's is an interesting premise. Aaron's got a good handle on Clark's voice and the voices of his supporting cast, think this Marvel Star writing Superman will go down easier than the last one did.

Green Lantern # 7 - Found out where the other Lanterns are and that "death" scene for Kilowag is a total fakeout with no body. Bringing Hal to Sinestro and trying to talk things out was a doomed endeavor, no way was that confrontation ending without violence.

Blade #7 - Kind of a filler issue, Hill's been uneven lately here which is disappointing because he started strong.

[lexi-rp95]

Wait, there is more! I love my idea, and need to add more.

Lexi smiles as she picks up Danny and held Match's hand. Let's go home boys. It's a good thing I stocked up on groceries." She said as she made a portal to her house to start a new life.

A few months went by with Lexi helping the boys adjusting to life on the out side. She started teaching them sign language so they could communicate a little better especially with Match's limited speech. She also tried to see why Match hated the "S" symbol on Superman and tried to help him not associate that with hate. One Friday night, Lexi ordered pizza for a night in with the boys. When she opened the door for the delivery guy she saw Kon holding the pizza's instead. She was thankful he wasn't wearing the "S" shirt. "Hey Kon, what brings you to my lovely home?" She asked as she let him inside and helped him with the pizza.

"Hey Lexi, it's been a long day between the boy scout and baldy fighting over me again. I'm sick of....uh Lexi, when did these kids get here." Kon asked as he looked over spotting Danny and Match peaking their heads out from around the corner. Lexi smiles softly as she looked over to Danny and Match. "It's okay you two. Konner is a friend and knows what you've been through." She reassured them as she also signed the message for Match too. "Kon, these are Danny, and Match. Two more clones the idiot made, but the are trying to get adjusted. I would have had you come over sooner, but Match didn't like the boy scout symbol, and I am working with Match to help him with his hand writing. Those lab jerks didn't care about the basics."

Danny looked over to Kon as he held Match's hand. "H-hi....you won't tell the bald man right?" He asked Kon as he held Match's hand in a tight grip. "We never want to go back there." Kon smiles as he bent down to be eye level with Match and Danny. "I promise I would never let those people know about you or hurt you. This stuff is still new to me, but would it be okay if I joined you guys?" Lexi smiles softly seeing the three potential brothers reunited. "It's fine with me if you two are okay with it." Match looked between everyone before he went over to Kon and slowly nodded with a purr. Danny smiles hearing the relaxing purr. "That means Match likes you, and if he likes you then you are great. Would you like to see our nest/pillow fort?" Danny asked with the biggest smile he's ever had.

Danny has been reincarnated.

Which was an odd thing to realize, it wasn't even a slow one he just... snapped into it one day. One moment he was staring at a wall out of boredom the next, well, he was staring for an entirely different reason.

It was a task for his now young -he thinks around three years old?- mind to work its way through the memories, but it wasn't like he had much else to do honestly. So, what does he know?

His name is Danny, like, his actual name and not just a moniker. He was once a halfa and he already knows he's going to be missing invisibility and intangibility. He, well, died. For like, a second time which actually makes sense because reincarnation-

Anyways.

He was a clone of two people from this thing called the Justice League which, weird name but probably some government or activist group. Wonder Woman and Superman. Which were pretty weird names to name your kids but eh.

He doesn't really remember much besides that from this life, or the one from before but he's an adult! He'll figure things out once he gets out of this containment tube thing.

Did he mention he was in a test tube? He's a tube baby now. He thinks? Or maybe it's more like he's being contained.

Whatever.

So he breaks out. Thank you apparent superstrength that he has no idea why he has but he's not going to complain! He then wandered around all of the other test tubes, able to remember just enough of English to see that yea, they're dead.

He probably was too, before he had memories zapped into him. Or a vegetable.

He then finds this really big container, checks it out, then opens it because the clone inside isn't dead!

'Project Match' it said. He'll just call him Match.

Was he thanked for helping him? Nope. You would think that he would be thanked or at least somewhat respected for saving this guy but nope!

He was, quite literally, held up by his leg and dangled in the air. Who dangles a three-year-old?! Well, he was technically and adult but still! The next few things were a blur but after pulling off the old Fenton charm he found him and Match outside as he tried to stop him from attacking random people.

Luckily the charms and privilege of the youngest (he's assuming he's the youngest, because he's physically three) was more than enough to get through to him. Sure, the guy couldn't form words, really aggressive for literally no reason, really weird but also absolutely cool looking eyes. But he worked around the first issue by developing their own personal language from like grunts and stuff, the second he once again used his youngest privilege to boss him around and the third a pair of sunglasses easily fixed.

He just had to steer Match clear of those random S crest mark thingies. Which was a weird thing to hate but hey, he's not there to judge.

[saving-ray-23]

BATGIRL (ELEVEN)

Coach Yeoh was a master of all trades, it seemed. Lacrosse coach by day, seamstress by night. She had heard from James that she was a small, tiny fan of Batman and went nuts. The next day, she was presented with a dark purple jacket make of leather, a bright yellow bat-symbol on the chest. It was badass to say the least, not to mention one-of-a-kind.

And when Barbara asked how she got it, all the Coach said was that she knew a guy. By Friday, the costume was complete and awesome. Coach Yeoh had found this cape that clipped onto the jacket shoulders and a utility belt dyed bright yellow filled with dollar tree smoke bombs, safety pins, and a couple fake batarangs from Toys-R-Us. Barbara cleaned a pair of black jeans and laced tightly the yellow boots she had gotten for Bess too long ago to remember. She never got a chance to give them to her, but with all the effort Coach Yeoh was putting into the costume, she couldn't find a good excuse to not wear them. Last was a dark coat of greasepaint in a stripe across her face and with her hair braided back and most of her face hidden under the hood of the jacket, she was a female Batman.

It was extremely dorky, but that night, she just felt . . . cool.

James and his girlfriend were going as police officers— most likely a slight towards the Commissioner, but Babs tried not to overthink it. It was a party— something fancier than the annual Policeman's ball but hopefully not as awkward as a Gotham Academy Formal.

When they got there, it was a mess. Mostly adults, already taking advantage of the open bar and lack of more than three kids. She mentally sighed, watching her cousin's girlfriend practically dive into the crowd.

"You know," James said, leaning closer. "I heard Bruce Wayne's here tonight."

Babs tensed, nails digging into her palms as she forced herself to stay calm. "He's probably enjoying the chaos."

Just because his dad was there, Dick didn't necessarily have to be. She remembers him once saying he hated to stuffy balls and galas. Said it was all old ladies pinching his cheeks and saying how much he'd grown.

The costume ball seemed nothing like the boring events he'd described.

Squeezing her shoulder once, James disappeared into the crowd with an easy grin, as though he hadn't just dropped a bomb on Barbara.

She gravitated towards the nearest table, slumping in the seat. The lights were dimmed and the music was loud— something felt weird about the situation. Lex Luthor was nowhere to be seen, though she doubted he attended most of his parties. The bald-headed Superman-hater gave off more of a Gatsby vibe; throwing the party to show off all his riches without actually being apart of the party.

She looked around the scene, eyes searching for Lois Lane. Only Lois Lane. She wouldn't look for Dick buttface the third because he was a jerk who—

Who was kissing Jenny Addams?

Barbara felt— she felt—

She didn't know how she felt. Dick— she'd been mad at him for so long because he pretended to be her friend, just like everyone else. Because he wouldn't leave her alone— because he kept spamming her with bullshit apologies.

Because she thought he was better than that.

And she had felt bad for a while, too. She didn't like making people feel bad, even jerks who totally deserved it. It just made her feel bad and them feel bad and most of the time it wasn't worth it.

But clearly Dick didn't feel bad. Not at all. He was just perfect. Probably breathless because he hadn't come up for air in—

Standing, Barbara stormed out the doors.

__

It took Barbara nearly an hour to get back to Somerset. She had texted James after a while, letting him know she wasn't feeling well and left early. It wasn't really a lie. Seeing Dick suck face made her want to hurl.

Six subway stops later, she was following her phone's GPS back towards her house, wanting the quickest way back. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and sleep for the next week.

"Stop— stop it!"

Babara's head whipped up from her phone, eyes straining to see in the darkness of Gotham. The costume's cape billowed around her in the wind, purple glinting in the moonlight. A flash of silver caught her eyes and then she made out two figures in the alleyway.

A smart person would turn and walk away. She was tired and just a kid, no real experience fighting off the mats. 

But, the woman was screaming for help and Babs had some anger she needed to expel.

Launching forward, she tackled the guy to the ground, fist colliding with his jaw. The leather gloves she wore did little to soften the blow, but the large figure still flipped her off of him, both rolling to stand. She fell into ready position easily, fists high and feet spread. This was just like the spars in the dojo— except, the guy was a lot bigger than the teenagers she usually fought with and he had a knife Babs had only just noticed.

Using one hand to hold the knife away from her, she rammed her hand hard against his forearm, his fingers losing their grip and the blade falling to the ground. Punching him square in the jaw, Barbara watched in shock as he crumpled to the ground unconscious. Blinking, she reached for the thin rope hanging from her fake utility belt, tying his wrists tightly.

Standing, Babs turned towards the crying lady, surprised she hadn't run off. Her bracelet was broken on the ground, but other than that, she seemed . . . fine. A little hysterical, but fine.

"What— who— " The woman gasped, looking her up and down.

Barbara felt good— the summertime high she'd been on seemed like nothing compared to the adrenaline rushing through her. She opened her mouth to respond, about to answer the woman when her phone went off.

COMMISH

The Commissioner was texting, asking where she was. She never told him she was going to the party— figured she'd be back before he even got home. But now— now, she had knuckles that were surely going to bruise and a woman was crying in front of her. If she told him what happened, he'd never let her leave the house. When she was a kid, he was always preaching to her how dangerous it was to be a vigilante— to run from danger, not towards it. Granted, her stopped caring so much about what Barbara did in the past few years, but still. Barbara Gordon stopping a robbery wouldn't stay secret long.

Good thing she wasn't dressed like Barbara Gordon at the moment. The purple grease paint around her eyes suddenly felt like a really good idea.

"Who are you?" The woman breathed more evenly now, arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"I'm just, uh . . . a friend?" She winced internally, feeling like she'd just quoted the worst action movie of the decade.

The sound of sirens rang out in the distance, maybe five blocks away. She winced— the costume might've fooled the scared woman, but she doubted the cops wouldn't recognize her.

"I, uh, I've gotta go." She explained badly, double-checking that the thin nylon once apart of her costume was holding the crook in place. "Sorry about your necklace!"

She ran down the alleyway, ducking around a corner and down the street. She was close enough to her house to make it before the cops could even get a statement from the woman. Babs had gotten away.

Gotten away. God, she sounded like a criminal.

Criminal.

She'd just stopped a crime! Saved some woman! She was a savior!

It felt pretty great.

[stillness-in-green]

On Riots and Resolutions (Part Two)

The remaining ask round-up portion, building on the answers from last night's post.

Content Warnings: Discussion of real-life hate groups; one ask conflates mental illness with radicalism and makes some bald statements that there can only be one correct opinion about the canonical material in question.

This post has its usual share of footnotes, but I’ve put them at the end of their associated ask reply rather than all at the end like usual.

Two thoughts: Firstly, Japan’s extremists, as I understand them, tend to be either rampantly nationalistic—war crime deniers, people who hate Japanese residents who don’t match up to what the nationalists see as really Japanese (*waves to Part One*), sometimes they like the U.S. but they don’t want to be seen as being submissive towards it, that sort of thing—or outright cultists.

Using the nationalists as a model is tricky because, as so many have said, heteromorphs aren’t of a different ethnicity/nationality, so they nominally shouldn’t be objectionable to those whose chief issue is people/influence from other countries.  (Nominally.  *waves to Part One again*)  They’re also a very fraught group to parody, given Japan’s to-say-the-least unresolved issues with exactly those nationalistic sentiments, historically speaking.

As to the cultists?  Well, Japan has piles and piles of those.  Indeed, the country has so many that one of the most common terms for alternative spirituality groups, new religious movements (NRMs), is actually a direct translation of the term Japan itself uses, shinshūkyō.  So far as I’ve been able to gather, the proliferation is a result of the country having been loosed from the mandate of following the state religion (Shinto) just as a huge influx of Western theology came flowing in after World War II.  That developed further in the 60s and 70s—indeed, it’s quite easy to see Western ideas of what religion is and how it looks coming to Japan in the same general period as New Age spirituality in the West forming with elements borrowed ideas from Hinduism, Buddhism, and other Eastern religions.

While Japan has hundreds and hundreds of NRMs—over 2000, according to one op-ed I read—the country also has a sizeable suspicion of them, for one big, glaring reason: the sarin gas attacks carried out on the Tokyo subway in 1995 by Aum Shinrikyo.  Those attacks led to a huge backlash against new religious movements in the country, including the passing of some very targeted laws.

Obviously, with so many of them around, I can’t say for sure whether or not Horikoshi based the Creature Rejection Clan on any of them in particular, but Twice does point out that they have some religious elements, and certainly there are plenty of NRMs in Japan that hew to the arch ethnonationalism of the country’s extreme right.  The kegare thing, too, can hardly be called secular; it stems directly from Shinto belief.  There aren’t any NRMs I’m personally aware of that use gothic trappings and skull masks, but then, neither did the KKK.[1]

That all leads into my second thought, which is, “Well, is the CRC based on the KKK?  Or is that just us assuming because it’s what we relate them to?”  As I said a few times in Part One, I can’t read Horikoshi’s mind—but I have reservations about just assuming that some random Japanese guy is that familiar with a U.S.-based hate group that has never been active in his country.

Horikoshi is a noted fan of American comics, so I suppose it’s possible he’s heard that anecdote about Superman taking on the KKK, but if I were reading an American comic with a plot about a doomsday cult planning an attack on a public transit system, I wouldn’t assume it was a reference to Aum Shinrikyo just because I knew the author liked anime, you know?

For another example of Western fans projecting their own concerns onto a non-Western work, it was widely assumed among American readers that the Ishvalan plot in Full Metal Alchemist was a comment on the Iraq War. However, when asked about it, Arakawa actually said she based it on the way Japan treated the Ainu.  That desert setting completely fooled people!

So, even if the CRC feel a little too on the nose to not be based on the KKK, it’s worth considering that Horikoshi could have any number of inspirations there.  He may well have been just picking and choosing the visual indicators he liked to get the point across, and the ones he landed on say “KKK” to a U.S. reader without them having been an intentional model.

-- 1:  The Nazis, now, they used skull trappings, and are of course much more known for black uniforms, too. --

Would that such were more normalized!  But even if it were, the time crunch on Shonen Jump publication is such that I doubt most of its authors would have the leisure to do a bunch of back and forth with sensitivity readers anyway.  I imagine a lot of those authors have pretty limited hours and energy to spend all week working on their manga to also add a bunch of supplemental reading that also basically counts as “work for the manga” as opposed to literally any other kind of media intake that would let them turn off for a while.

I’m not going to say readers shouldn’t ask for better, or should just shut up or go read something else if they have problems with what an author is writing.  Obviously!  That would be massively hypocritical of me, given all the time I’ve spent complaining about this very issue, or the mass arrests, or whatever-all else.  But then, I’ve always approached the issues Hori raises with his villains with the view that they’d fall flat eventually.  Shonen Jump is just too mainstream an environment for me to think that Horikoshi would be allowed to say anything truly radical, if he even wanted to to begin with.

And maybe he’ll get feedback on this aspect of the story from readers and reviews and rethink some of it.  I’ll always remember this article about an interview with the author of Sword Art Online, Kawahara Reki, in which he talked about how visiting American conventions had inspired him to try to do better by his heroines.

Of course, some people double down instead, like One Piece’s Oda Eiichirou, or reflexively lash out when criticized, like Vanillaware’s George Kamitani.  Maybe Horokoshi will just go on thinking like he does because he doesn’t work in an environment that’s going to challenge him on his views; maybe he’ll seek out more mature environments to tell the more mature stories he clearly wants to tell.

In the meantime, though, it’s not as though he’s the only game in town.  There are other manga out there, ones that have lists upon lists at the back of their volume compilations detailing the resources and contacts the authors used as they were writing their stories.

Just of what I read or have read, Blue Period, Golden Kamuy, Ancient Magus’s Bride, Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu, and any of Mori Kaoru’s historical works, like Victorian Romance Emma or Otoyomegatari, come to mind.  Shonen Jump stories can be fun, but I don’t exactly read them expecting the manga equivalent of high literature, you know?

…On the other hand, even fellow Shonen Jump series Akane Banashi credits a rakugo supervisor every week.  I suspect this speaks to a certain uncomfortable truth that many authors are going to be a lot more aware of their own ignorance—and, crucially, far less defensive about accusations of being hurtful, irresponsible, or discriminatory—when it comes to portraying things like art, specialist hobbies, historical periods or foreign countries: subjects that are legitimately distant from their day to day lives.  That, in turn, may make them more willing to do the research with an open mind, as opposed to just winging it on things they believe they already understand well enough or have already formed opinions on, like the lived experience of minorities or how the legal system treats (or should treat) people who break the law.

The fact that lazy or offensive portrayals might come out of privileged ignorance rather than maliciousness doesn’t make them less lazy or offensive, of course, especially if an author chooses to double down after criticism!  But I’ll get into that more in the last ask in this post.

--

H’ooookay, I’m going to lead with saying that, while I agree with your broad point that this resolution is messy and disappointing, I have some significant issues with your points here, things that I cannot just let stand in good faith.

Firstly, as far as comparing heteromorphs to burakumin goes, I have not and would never say that they’re only an analogue to burakumin because I don’t think heterophobia is a 1:1 analogue for any kind of discrimination.  It takes elements from a lot of different things: anti-burakumin sentiment, racism, ableism, ethnocentrism, and so on.

I talked about burakumin discrimination in the post you’re responding to because the kegare thing is burakumin-specific.  While I’m sure you could find individuals willing to level that word at groups they don’t like, I’m not aware of any other groups that have had kegare weaponized against them on such a widespread, systemic, legally codified level; therefore, burakumin are the reference I used to talk about kegare as it’s used against heteromorphs to police their movements/contact with others.

Secondly, saying burakumin have “the benefit” of looking like everyone else unless they’re outed feels insensitive to me.  It’s the same thing as mixing up genuine privilege with being in the closet.  Yes, burakumin lineage is something that’s not immediately visible right on their faces,[1] but that’s not the same thing as them being able to live openly without fear of discrimination, especially when there are still resources on the internet that purport to list burakumin neighborhoods, resources that are easily findable on a web search for e.g. the company hiring director vetting job applicants or the paranoid parent who wants to make sure their daughter isn’t getting involved with someone Undesirable.

Thirdly, conflating Qanon extremists with mental illness is a big, wholehearted NOPE for me, especially in saying only individuals who are mentally ill would attack innocent people.  I’m certainly not going to say that no one who has ever carried out a mass attack was mentally ill, but it’s absolutely not an identical vector as radicalized resentment.

Fourthly, “making up a massacre” is, I suppose, true in that we’ve never heard of the incidents Scarecrow cites before now, but it’s not as though it’s completely out of the realm of the possible based on what we knew before this arc.  We knew law and order broke down around the time of the advent of quirks; we knew there were (and still are!) groups that committed hate crimes against heteromorphs; we knew there had been bloody conflict for years upon years by the time things finally started to settle down circa Destro and the legalization of Pro Heroes.

Hell, the longer I gather evidence and mull it over, the more it seems likely to me that Horikoshi was aware of heteromorph discrimination from almost the very beginning.  Shouji’s character profile, in which he pointedly did not have a face reveal and Horikoshi dropped hints about “Shouji’s episode,” came out in Volume 3.  Ultra Archive, which talked about how Shouji was told he had a scary face since he was young, was released in 2016; Ultra Analysis, which first raised the crying little girl angle, in 2019.  We’ve known for ages that Horikoshi likes to think about the stories of background characters, even if he can’t find room to show them.

Historical massacres?  We may not have heard about them specifically before now, but it’s not like it’s a big reach.  The CRC really ought to have clued everyone in that heteromorphic discrimination is much worse than Deku, the viewpoint character, ever knew, so I remain aggressively baffled at the constant accusations that all this is “coming out of nowhere.”  Yes, I think it could have been more thoroughly developed in advance, but I really do think it’s not that Horikoshi didn’t know, or that he “made it up”; it’s just that he failed to incorporate it organically.

If the story were still the elegantly constructed narrative we were enjoying up through the Endeavor Agency Arc and the early stages of the war, I’d be more skeptical, because Horikoshi back then really was much better at those early hints and teases.  But everyone can tell that the story has been a garbled, rushed mess since then, so it’s no big surprise to me that a better-paced exploration of heteromorphic discrimination was a victim of whatever kind of compressed timeline Horikoshi’s now operating under.

Finally, I broadly agree that the portrayal of this conflict was a damn mess on both sides—I particularly share your frustration that fifteen thousand members of an oppressed minority would be willing to attack a hospital under the direction of a known villain yet have given the optics of that attack so little thought that one (1) high-schooler and the sight of a handful of hospital employees standing well away from their line of advance could change their minds—but I’m wholly uncomfortable with your intimation that anyone who doesn’t agree with your specific read on the sides involved doesn’t know what they’re talking about.  If you didn’t mean it that way, that’s cool, but I don’t see much other way to parse, “People who empathize more with one side or the other are either uneducated or don’t have discrimination in their daily reality/family history.”

“If anyone disagrees with me, either they’re white people whose opinions don’t count because they’re white or they’re people of color whose opinions don’t count because they’re ignorant,” is just not an opinion I’m going to back up.  I saw plenty of POC on twitter and tumblr both who definitely did sympathize more with one side or another and had perfectly cogent, self-aware articulations as to why; declaring their opinions de facto invalid is no way to engage in media criticism OR fandom discourse.

-- 1:  Though back in the days when burakumin were legally required to dress and style their hair in certain ways to make themselves obvious to those around them, you would have been able to tell they were burakumin just by looking at them, unless they were actively breaking the law and thus subject to punishment if they were discovered. --

Everyone is, of course, going to have their own read on this, but for my part, I’d rather see people try and fail than just never try at all.  That’s assuming, anyway, that the attempt is made in good faith, which I think this plot was—at the very least, it never felt malicious towards the crowd of heteromorphs themselves,[1] though I am still squinting distastefully at the whole Outside Bad Actor element AFO/Skeptic/Scarecrow/Spinner present.

Of course, it’d be nice to know whether Horikoshi’s going to learn anything from this portrayal or whether it’ll just be a full round of backpats for a job halfway done, but saying he should just never have tried at all—well, it’s the same with his writing of women, really.  There are some enormous problems, but I’d still rather read the version with all the flaws than the version without all the women.

That’s the long-time fandom participant in me, I’m sure; my stance will always be to take what works and jettison what doesn’t.  For all that this resolution desperately does not work, all the reasons that it was something worth looking forward to and getting invested in are still there, too!

But again, that’s something everyone has to draw their own lines on, and I have nothing but sympathy for the frustration of those who, like myself, would never have believed such a facile resolution could be offered to such a fascinating set-up.

-- 1:  I’d be more willing to assume malice if the heteromorphs were the only civilians in the story portrayed as so desperately gullible and impulsive, but Horikoshi’s been writing civilians that same way from the beginning. --

-----------------------------------------

That wraps up the asks in my inbox about this plot, at least the ones that were expressing specific anger with Horikoshi or fellow fandom members. I have one or two left that are more directly about the material, which I'll be getting to in the order in which I received them soonish.

I do apologize if these posts came off as preachy in that, "I am allowed to complain, but suddenly when I have anons in my inbox complaining, it's time to talk about nuance and context," kind of way. I do, perhaps, have a certain feeling that I can and will complain about the material to my heart's content, but I don't want to get too pulled into spiraling bitterness about Horikoshi personally because he didn't deliver the challenging resolution I never really believed his editors would let him deliver to begin with.

I promise I still hate the way the arc fell out! And I appreciate you all sharing your thoughts with me. 'Til next time, everyone.

[criminalmutantsins]

Young Justice x Encanto: Og 6’s Reactions to Watching Encanto

*In my alternative universe, Superboy and Wally have returned after S4

-Conner/Superboy would definitely relate to Mirabel since S1 him wanted Superman to recognize him, and he was very insecure about his lack of having all of Superman’s powers.

-He would feel bad for Mirabel and probably tear up at “Waiting for a Miracle.”

-Camilo would be Wally and Dick’s favorite character since he’s them if they had M’gann’s shapeshifting power.

-Mirabel would remind M’gann of herself back in S1.

-M’gann thinks about bioship whenever she sees Casita. 

-Artemis would be reminded of her and Jade’s relationship (pre S4) when watching Isabela and Mirabel’s interactions.

-Kaldur would relate to Luisa and to her song “Surface Pressure.”

-Almost everyone would dislike Isabela and Abuela 10 minutes into the movie.

-Dick’s comment toward Isabela, “I knew she gave me bad vibes. She controls plants like Ivy.”

-Everyone would be upset with the family for leaving Mirabel out of the photo, especially Conner, M’gann, and Artemis.

-Antonio is instant best boy in the group’s eyes.

-Artemis sees Antonio as Lian.

-Wally and Dick laugh at the dancing donkeys in Luisa’s song.

-Wally’s reaction to seeing Bruno’s room, “Even I’m getting tired looking at those stairs.”

- Dick and Artemis are impressed by Mirabel’s parkour skills. Dick, “For someone with no training, she’s doing pretty good.” Artemis, “And people say she doesn’t have a gift.”

-Everyone has their “oh shit” face when seeing Mirabel on the prophecy tablet.

-No one is not jamming to “We Don’t Talk About Bruno.”

-M’gann finds Pepa and Felix’s relationship cute.

-Camilo’s part is Dick and Wally’s favorite part.

-Dick and Wally after hearing why everyone dislikes Bruno, “He’s literally just the messenger,” “And of course you’re going to lose your hair, male-pattern baldness is common in your 50s.”

-Constant cringing and laughing during the engagement dinner.

-Wally’s joke, “This is a worse disaster than our first missions.”

-All six of them are in the “Protect Bruno” club.

-M’gann almost cries seeing Bruno’s plate carving and his view of the dinner table. She wants to give him a big hug.

-Everyone agrees that Isabela’s redemption was not as well done, but still feel bad for her because of the arranged marriage. 

-Kaldur would also relate to Isabela’s song “What Else Can I Do?” since he feels pressured to be perfect. 

-The hate for Abuela grows after her outburst. 

-Cheered for Mirabel when she defended herself.

-Casita’s “death” dropped the mood down fast. 

-Artemis and M’gann cried at Pedro’s death because it reminded them of their partner’s “death”. Their spouses were on comfort patrol. 

-The group have slightly forgiven Abuela for her actions.

-Mirabel getting her doorknob got everyone in the feels. 

-All agree that the new family photo was way better than the other one. 

Overall, everyone would really like this movie. 

[magerightsyeah]

People who hate Superman because of his godlike powers are bald billionaires and should not be elected president of the United States

People who hate Superman because he's "so strong and unbeatable" grossly misunderstand both the powerscaling and rogues gallery compatibility used in DC comics.

[jmoriarty-221b]

So I saw somewhere a post that talked about how some fictional characters just have a divorce vibe going on, like, at no point in time were they ever married but they just give off that feeling that they got divorced

And now I can only think of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor having that vibe

And I spent close to an hour talking about this to my sibling and how it would be a good idea for a new DC show like, you can make so much money off of just the main Batfam alone and there are literally so many people in there that it’s just an amazing idea to have them all in a show together but kind of like a Good Luck Charlie kinda thing because there’s more than enough angst in the world

But in the case of not having enough of a budget for so many characters in one show I turned to the Superfam (Batfam is Huge like, I don’t even know half of the extended family version and that’s like at least ten characters so I could see why it wouldn’t be entirely feasible to have a show that included everyone while still being good with nice character development without having a billion dollars for the budget)

The Superfam, in my personal experience, is composed of Ma & Pa Kent (farm vibes plus I refuse to have either of them die in my AU), Clark Kent (main Superman), Lois Lane (Lana? was Smallville Lois i guess??? But idk enough about her so she’s not here), Jon Kent (Superboi II), Kara Danvers (Supergirl) & Conner Kent (Superboi I)

Now I’ve stopped watching CW shows like, forever ago??? But my brother kinda keeps up with them and basically the gist is that the ratings of every other show suck Except for the Superman & Lois show (because it’s 💫new💫) and I saw the cover of the poster like “Ah, the werewolf dude. . . mmmhhmmm that’s Lois yes, yes that’s Johnny boi, and um is that???? Nooooo, they wouldn’t do that to Conner right???? Please tell me they didn’t make Conner blonde” and I was informed that the blonde teen is Chris???? Like

Whoms’t do ye speak of

I’m not even joking but the only way I even know of Chris is from a random fanfic I read where Dick Grayson gets his own super from an alternate reality named Chris, that’s my only point of reference for this character

But let’s talk about how Conner Kent (OG Superboi) was excluded

Now I haven’t seen any episodes of this and I probably never will (no hate I’m just really unmotivated to start new shows at all) so idk if they might mention Conner or even allude to him in one scene or something

But this was my main motivator as to my new Superfam TV Show Idea

Have Lex Luthor not be a Superman villain, he’s mainly a successful businessman, a little shady but who isn’t, and he doesn’t want to Kill Superman, he just wants to be able to have some sort of viable protection against a Kryptonian in case of an invasion (see Man of Steel + CW’s Supergirl) or suddenly having a mind controlled Superman on their hands (see Justice League series or just look up what Red Krytonite does) so he makes it like his side thing to figure out ways to neutralize or hold back a Kryptonian, Clark totally thinks that Lex is obsessed with finding a way to kill Superman because they had a bad end to their friendship in high school so he’s always suspicious of Lex, Lex hasn’t really ever tried to kill him though because 1. It’s not that deep Clark ok? And 2. He’s a busy busy man with a very important job position and a company to run so does he look like he has time to harbor an obsession over someone who rejected him back in high school??? You’re more of a constant side quest Clark, so stop trying to put him on the JL watchlist ( btw ik about Lena Luthor, haven’t forgotten her but she doesn’t really play a part in this AU so let’s just have her and Kara off to the side doing their own thing ok? Ok)

Lex, Bruce & Oliver all knew each other when they were kids and went to the same school, this is just an extra detail I wanted to happen because Lex and Ollie definitely know Bruce is Batman and absolutely HATE having to deal with Brucie Wayne because “I know you’re just doing this to irritate me Bruce, you just want to see if you can make a vein throb in my forehead but I will valiantly ignore your dumbassery because I know you hate being Brucie just as much as we hate having to put up with Brucie so suck on that you petty bitch” because they bonded in ye olden days, childhood friends so to speak

Anyway so Cadmus tries to get Lex to make an investment in their company, seeing as Cadmus is shadier than Gotham when it rains Lex is basically like ‘no ❤️’ and doesn’t make a deal with them, Cadmus gets mad at not having Lexcorp financially backing them so Lex has an ‘accident’ and they steal his DNA, then they steal Superman’s DNA somehow and *boom* a Superboi is formed

Because I don’t know much about how the Core Four became friends in the first place (Robin Tim Drake, Impulse Bart Allen, Wonder Girl Cassie Sandsmark & Superboy Conner Kent) I’m just gonna go with what happens in the show Young Justice except it’s the Core Four becoming the Core Four when they liberated Conner (who at this point believes himself to be a clone of Superman and has only been given Superboy as a name) from Cadmus, same shit goes down meaning that Clark is just straight up NOT vibing with Conner, Conner just wants a mentor please, and the Bats kinda give Clark a passive aggressive treatment for not taking Superboy under his wing or at least agreeing to teach him how to control his powers, especially Tim because that’s his Bestie so yes

Anyway, YJ saves ppl and is on the news or whatever and Lex finds out about Superboy’s existence that way, so he researches this new super on his free time, finds out that he came from Cadmus and claims to be a clone of Superman, yet doesn’t have the whole power set Superman has??? Wait, didn’t Lex reject Cadmus’ proposal and the got into a mysterious accident??? Long story short Lex goes connecting the dots, hacks into Cadmus’ files, finds out he technically has a son with Superman and decides to take Superboy under his wing (I’ll go more in depth as to why Lex would want to do this in this AU later but the abridged version would be that he wants a kid but doesn’t have the time nor interest in finding a wife??? Also the radiation that made him bald as a kid also affected his reproductive system so while it’s not impossible for him to conceive kids he would have a very hard time actually getting to father a kid)

Him and Conner, who still goes by Superboy at this point in time, meet up and Conner finds out that here is a parent figure that is both available and actively wants to be a part of his life, so he agrees to get to know Lex and the series would focus on them becoming a family, with a special episode when Conner asks Lex for help in choosing a name for himself and it ends up with him agreeing to become Conner Luthor, it would be heartwarming and Mercy would make sure it happens within a day (Mercy is Lex’s bodyguard/PA but they’re also besties and she becomes the Responsible yet Chaotic Aunt as Lex and Conner’s father-son relationship progresses)

Obviously Clark becomes super suspicious of Lex getting close to his ‘clone’ and when Conner decides to go public as Lex’s son he’s like *GASP* and calls up Bruce because we need to get on this Bruce, Lex is a villain and blah blah blah but Bruce would be over Clark’s shit and hit him with that “actually, Lex was also an unwilling genetic donor to Superboy, who actually is not your clone either, and has agreed to take him in, I’ve been on this shit since they first met and the kid is doing just fine so if you keep poking your nose in their business then that’s your problem but you better be ready to pay child support bitch . . . have a good day ❤️”

The series would just focus on Conner getting to have a good parent figure in Lex and go more into their civilian lives rather than focusing on the superhero thing, Conner, Bart, Tim & Cassie have a sleepover at Lex’s house at one point, Lex totally Knows what’s up but it’s all good because these are his baby’s friends and they’re good people who are more than willing to prank Superman for rejecting his kid and giving his baby self worth issues (Mercy supports them)

Anyway, that’s basically the idea for a new Superhero Show

[ragingbookdragon]

In your opinion, is Jeff Bezos really Lex Luthor? If so who is Superman?

Well they’re both bald motherfuckers who have giant corporations and wanna rule the world, so, yeah

Capitalists hate the working/middle class especially when they rise up so I’m sure Superman is equivalent to the people or probably Anonymous

-Thorne

[superman86to99]

imagine ive only ever real one 80s-90s superman comic (this is true) what exactly is the deal with lions-mane lex luthor? why does he have hair? why is he dating kara of all people? what is going on. i found an image of him today and when using reverse image search found your blog. please help i don't know why he has an entire mane and a maybe-20-at-most girlfriend

Do you want the long version or the short version? Because either way I’m giving you the long version, sorry.

*cracks knuckles*

Okay, so when John Byrne rebooted Superman in 1986, he established that baby Kal-El’s Kryptonian spaceship had a chunk of kryptonite lodged into it -- in The Man of Steel #1, teenage Clark Kent gets sick when he gets near the ship for the first time (since he came out of it, I mean) because of the kryptonite, not due to the shock of learning he’s an alien or because he had a big plate of chili earlier or something. We also see that a mysterious figure is creeping on young Clark and his Earth dad as they visit the spot where the ship is hidden:

Later, in The Man of Steel #4, we’re introduced to Lex Luthor for the first time and he has (some) red hair on his head, but he’s pretty much the same “older businessman who hates Superman” character you’re probably familiar with, unless your only exposure to the Superman franchise is through Dawn of Justice, in which case I’m so sorry. Anyway, in The Man of Steel #6 (the end of Superman’s new origin), Superman realizes that someone has stolen his baby spaceship -- it turns out that leaving advanced alien tech laying around in the middle of a field in Kansas isn’t such a good idea after all. The next month in the all-new Superman #1, we find out that the thief was the same mysterious figure who’s been stalking Superman since he was young -- it’s a crazy scientist who spent years tracking down the spaceship after it landed on Earth, finally found it, and used the kryptonite on it to build a radioactive-meteor-powered Terminator called Metallo. Metallo kicks Superman’s ass in this issue (because, again, kryptonite), but just when he’s about to kill him, someone conveniently kidnaps him.

In Superman #2 we find out that the kidnapper was a jealous (and by now completely bald) Lex Luthor, because he wanted to kill Superman himself, and also steal the kryptonite while at it. In fact, Luthor is such a big fan of kryptonite that he makes himself a fancy kryptonite ring and goads Superman with it.

After all, it’s just a radioactive rock from outer space; what’s the worst that could happen? We find out a year later in Action Comics #600, when Luthor discovers he has cancer due to wearing that ring all day and has to have his hand amputated and replaced with a robot one. But that wasn’t enough to stop the cancer -- by Action Comics #660 in 1990, the disease has spread to Luthor’s entire body and he only has a few months to live. So, one day, Luthor says “fuck it,” gets on a supersonic jet plane, crashes it on some mountains, and dies.

...OR DOES HE?

Over the next few months, LexCorp’s lawyers discover that Luthor left everything to a secret son he’s got stashed away somewhere, so they start looking for him. Meanwhile, because LexCorp is freaking everywhere in Metropolis and Luthor’s henchmen suck at running the company, the whole city falls into an economic depression. Just when the city is at its lowest point, with a huge blackout and riots and even the Daily Planet about to go broke, Luthor’s secret heir shows up in Action Comics #671, and it turns out he’s sexy, long-haired, and Australian.

Lex Jr. fixes the company’s (and thus Metropolis’) problems and quickly becomes a hero to the city. And for a while there, it actually looked like the kid was on the up and up. Meanwhile, Supergirl comes back after a long absence, but she’s not the “Superman’s cousin” Supergirl you know, she’s... a whole other can of worms I will gladly explain in another long-ass post if anyone asks, because that’s what I was put on this planet to do. What’s important is that this Supergirl was created by an alternate dimension Luthor who was also good and sexy (but not Australian), so when she meets Lex Jr. in 1992′s Action Comics #676, she gets a little Electra thing going and instantly falls in love with him. Seriously, they start making out like five seconds after meeting.

But, plot twist: Luthor’s son wasn’t good, or Luthor’s son. Because they...

Action Comics #678 reveals the years-long con: turns out Luthor faked his death in that plane crash and hired a disgraced cloning specialist (from another looooong storyline) to make him a new, cancer-free body under his exact specifications. Yes, he specifically asked for thick hair, and thick who knows what else. He even planned Metropolis’ economic crisis to set up his “son” as the city’s savior and steal some public love from Superman. The one thing he didn’t plan was for a Supergirl whose main kink is “Lex Luthor but good” to fall on his lap; that was just a happy accident.

And that’s why in some comics Lex Luthor has long red hair and is dating Supergirl, who isn’t actually a teenager in this version... she’s like two years old, and made of goo, so it’s even grosser. Ugh, fine, here’s a tl;dr: Lex was dying of radioactive poisoning for wearing kryptonite bling so he cloned himself a younger body, faked his own death, pretended to be his hair-having non-evil son, and hooked up with a Supergirl from another universe who happened to love hair-having non-evil Luthors.

Lex Jr.’s storyline actually continued until Action Comics #700, and we’re about to make a post about #694, so keep an eye on the blog to find out what happened to the character! (Or just check Wikipedia, but we’d prefer if you read the blog.) (And also checked out our humble Patreon!)

[praphit]

Top Ten BAMFs of 2021

It's that time again, baby! - to honor our top BAMF of 2021

Last year's batch was a bit tainted - I mean, Laura Linney and Sacha Baron Cohen were on there, and ended with Nic Cage being the winner. 

Now, I love Nic Cage as much as anyone, but he hasn't really been a bamf since "Con Air".

Let's see if we can cook up some people this year who are a little more intimidating.

Criteria:

1) Badass in power 2) Badass in attitude 3) Relevant to our culture in 2021

Honorable Mentions:

Black Messiah (”Judas and the black Messiah”) Halle Berry (”Bruised”) Taskmaster (”Black Widow”)

Vin Diesel (simply being Vin)

Peacemaker (The Suicide Squad ) Bloodsport (””)

Evil Dr. Strange (”What if...?”) Dave Chappelle - Not getting into right or wrong here, but simply the fact that he knew there was a pool filled with piranhas in it, and he still jumped in and survived... though the counter argument would be that he kinda filled the pool up with piranhas himself for some unknown reason (a la "Jackass" -  the reason he didn't make the cut)

Michael Myers - LOVE, but he's like 70. I'm pretty sure most of us can out run him at this point

And probably a handful of Matrix people, but that movie hasn't come out yet.

So... here we go:)

#10 - Tyson Fury

The reason starts with whom his opponent was this year - Deontay Wilder. This guy hits harder than anyone in the game. He's the Michael Jordan of knocking people out. Tyson Fury took his best shots and kept on going. This man's story is badass and inspiring. The only thing about him that's more badass than his fighting skills might be his sense of style.

#9 - Norman Nordstrom

I know, you're probably saying  "Who the BLEEP is that?!" He's pretty much blind Rambo. He buys shitty homes, people keep breaking into them (idk why... he has no valuables), and then he goes nuts and kills everyone in awesome ways. Two things to mention: He's got kind of a psycho-killer name, right?? Anyone named Norman Nordstrom is not going to be well adjusted. AND there was the whole semen in the turkey baster thing (from the last movie)... if you don't know what I'm referring to, then thank God that the scene I'm mentioning isn't seared into your memory banks as it is in mine. Can't really let that incident go, so he couldn't climb any higher than #9, but this guy is a glorious, badass, scary, killing machine.

#8 - Omni-Man

You might not know who he is (hence only #8), but he's one of the most powerful people on this list. He's voiced by J.K. Simmons. He's pretty much Superman without that lame Kryptonite weakness. Besides the general badassery of having Superman-like powers, there's a scene in season 1 that... WILL horrify you. Imagine Superman deciding he wants to take-out a bunch of people in the most gruesome ways he can think of... or imagine being locked in a room with a gorilla who has heard that you've been talkin smack about his mama; think about what it could do to you. Now, imagine your demise being animated and showing everything to an audience.... yeah, horrifying. So, if you see me crawl-up in a ball and cry whenever I hear a Farmer's Insurance commercial, you'll know why.

#7 - Harley Quinn

She used to get on my nerves; she still kinda does. Not only did I used to date someone who is as annoying as she is (don't decide who to date while you're drinking, kids), but we've been over-saturated by Harley costumes. All of these ladies trying to be sexy in this costume - it's too easy. Ladies, try a character that's not already sexy. What about sexy Prof X. Though I guess the whole wheelchair thing would be very insensitive... so in losing that, you'd just be a bald woman in a suit. You'd have to always make that "I have a migraine" look for people to have any chance of guessing who you're supposed to be... 

never mind... bad idea. But, you understand... pick someone that's not supposed to be sexy AND that people hate - like the wicked witch of the West or an IRS agent. "I'm here to steal your hard earned money" - make that sexy, I dare you.

Harley Quinn has a prison break scene that is beautifully and gracefully badass. Plus, she is always ready to leap into battle against super-humans and monsters, when she herself has no powers. Whether that's bravery or insanity, it's won her a spot on this year's list.

#6 - Captain America (Falcon with the shield)

We've got to do something about that name thought, right? I mean... this is Captain America. He's still alive! He's just really old. Kinda ageist to simply give his name to someone else, especially if he's still kickin (kicking more slowly, but still kicking). The Rock is starting to get up there in age; are you telling me that one day, we'll look up and they'll be a new The Rock? Of course "Black America" doesn't really work (kinda bleeped up). "The NEW Captain America" would get old real fast. How about "Captain Falcon"? Or maybe it should simply be "Falcon with the Shield". "Falcon America"? "Capt Black Twitter"? Regardless of his name problem, he's got skills:

All of that badassery while going up against super soldiers, the racism that comes along with picking up THAT shield after Steve Rogers, learning to wield the shield, AND still managing to be a compassionate human being despite all of this - def a badass, and def worthy of the name (although I do think there's something to "Capt Black Twitter").

#5 - Shang-Chi

This guy is always ready for a fight, and  has had some great ones: he beat some ass on an out-of-control-speeding bus. He beat some ass of a bunch of trained ninjas. He beat some ass outside on some scaffolding. There is no ass that will go unbeaten, if Shang feels threatened.

And he never has time to prep for his badassery. That's what people on the outside don't get - the secret to being a badass isn't prep; you either are one or you aren't. You can't ask the enemies of life to hold up while you put your BAMF face on. If you're the real deal than you're ready to go at all times, even if it's against magic, or demons, or dragons, or magical demonic dragons, or the Daddy Murder Death's of the world (movie villain), or whatever the hell this thing is

You can never catch this man off-guard. I imagine that magical, demonic ninjas could attack him while he's on the toilet, and he would still be ready to bring the pain.

#4 - Sub-Zero

Y'all forgot about that Mortal Kombat movie that came out didn't you? Lightning Guy, Laser Eye, a reptile shooting acid... there was a dude who made a dragon composed of fire, and yet ALL of these peeps and many more ran in terror at the sight of Sub-Zero. He'd walk in the room, cool as ice and people would start crying.

Everywhere he walks there's ice building up, so there are always traffic problems, you can't have no warm food around him (I can't imagine how family dinner time goes), AND he's one of the best martial artists you'll meet, who has a bad habit of freezing people until they explode. If there's a fork in the road, with Subby on one side and a pack of wolves on the other, go with the pack of wolves; they might show you mercy. I don't know what crawled up this dude's butt and died to make him so angry all of the time, but I'm glad it's there so we can all witness his BAMFness.

#3 - Ultron

We all know the problem Ultron was when he had his own movie. This year (in "What if..." ) he got himself a new body (Vision's to be exact), AND the infinity stones. That Thanos guy has been a real inspiration.

With all of this power he did what all A.I.'s do - try to destroy the disease that is mankind. The thing is, he pretty much succeeds. He does inexplicably leave some stragglers behind, but that's a plot hole for another day. In this series, there's a god-like being called "The Watcher". Ultron gets bored, due to accomplishing his mission of wiping out mankind, so he comes after the GOD-LIKE being, and delivers an inter-dimensional ass-whupin that I don't think you'll see anywhere else. I've seen some rough knockouts before, but to be punched through time, space, and alternate realities is a new one. They couldn't even stop him, they had to trap him! If "What if..." were more popular he'd be my number one for sure.

#2 - Wanda

You don't want to mess with witches; this is a fact of life. You certainly don't want to mess with one who's powerful enough to create her own world. Not just that, but made this world she created a Tv show. Sounds crazy when you say that out loud. She brought her dead lover back to life (Vision. He's really getting used and tossed around isn't he??). They had some magical kids that she also created.

Her power of course is badass, but more importantly, those looks she gives when you've crossed her. whew! If she gives you this look, then it's already too late for you. I don't even know how to explain what her powers are... she can pretty much do anything. The problem I have with her (and why she's not #1) is that she tortured people. She created a little world, but not the people; those she had to control the minds of, and in "WandaVision" it's said that this control was torturous. Torture ain't bad ass, especially if there's no remorse. She just strolled off. She would be so cancelled... if everyone weren't so terrified of her.

#1 Black Widow

No death in a comic book movie has ever been so beautiful - figuratively and literally. Look at her, 

that picture could be on the cover of Vogue. She saved her best pose for last.

The sacrifice that saved the world.

But, before that last spread, she evaded the military, took on a league of assassins only to set them free from mind control, there was the whole sever the nerve thing (which was silly, but if I go with it, pretty badass), there was a great prison break, she got her mission-impossible-wearing-someone-else’s -face-thing on, and survived jumping out of like 20 windows. How many windows have you jumped out of recently? This was just another week for her. She did all of these things without any powers! This takes true bravery. - knowing your limits and the limits of the situation, and being able to find that sweet spot where you can kick super-villain ass and still make it home to eat some ice cream.

Now, she was an assassin, which... I would say is frowned upon. BUT, she saw the error of her ways, changed her course, and became an Avenger. Even her path of redemption was badass.

She was also in "What if..." taking on Ultron, a mass of zombies, and a Wanda Zombie!

Scarjo, inspired by her BAMF character, took on Disney this year and got a settlement. You have to be a badass to take on that mouse. Granted, she still has some deals with Disney. If I were Mickey I'd keep casting her in roles where she ends up at the bottom of a cliff. But, for now, she’s on top, and my 2021 BAMF of the Year :)

Take a bow.

[moonlightkitkat]

ML:NYS reaction

Here’s my set of reactions from when I was watching the special, I wrote it all while I was watching. It’s a little scatterbrained lol

The opening is so pretty!

MR. PIGEON AGAIN? 

COSMO BUG AND ASTRO BUG?!

AWWW THE YELLOW ROSE THAT'S SO CUTE!

THAT'S SO CUTE! 

Oh this interaction is adorable! The wholesomeness!

YES GIVE YOURSELF FLOWERS.

But oh my god I had to pause because this is what I love! Chat can show affection and care about her, but I love how he’s taking her feelings into the gift he brings. He knows that she doesn’t want anything with romantic connotations because it’s leading him on, so instead he offers a rose of friendship, a truce. And I love how after hearing this, Ladybug immediately warms up and accepts, thanking him and offering kind words as well. I’m two minutes in and I already love this. 

Also the animation is so pretty!!

Oh Marinette no.. not the photos.. not the excuses.. ;-;

Yes Tikki hold her accountable!

HAMILTON BUT WITH SOCK PUPPETS???

NO CHLOE WHAT?! 

Oh thank god I wanted my Chloe here

NO BUSTIER YES

SHE'S PREGNANT?! Oh that poor baby

EW LILA’S HERE

No no no no no no n no no no no Marinette please stop, please oh my god I’m dying on the inside

YOU'RE OUR SOCK WASHINGTON

EVERYDAY LADYBUG AND SOCK WASHINGTON IS BEST SHIP

Oh my god she put his perfume on her pillow? Why? Why have her do this.

LAFAYETTE

HE WAS A MIRACULOUS USER WHAT

Oh my god she pulled a Twilight Sparkle and ranted about the power of friendship

DID HE JUST SIT THROUGH HER RANT

Oh I know he’s lying but oh that’s such a sweet thing to say.

Gabriel why are you a JERK

KAGAMI

AWWW SMOOCH

That’s so cute! I love that!

NO THE SINGING

Marinette no ;-;

THE KITTY ALARM AWWW

THAT'S SO CUTE

OH THATS FIC MATERIAL RIGHT THERE

“I’m as serious as it can get.” *squeak*, giggles. That’s adorable

OH NO GORILLA HAS A FEAR OF FLYING

PLAGG

THE WIGGLY PAWS

I-I’m actually shocked that Ladybug didn’t think of that

 That’s pretty smart Adrien.

I’m still creeped out by the Snow White like case Emilie is in

LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKAAAAAA

Oh no she’s ranting about Adrien I’m crying 

HIS SMILE AT HER

AWWW SWEETHEART

A SMOOCH

Oh this is definitely fic material

Oh Marinette does not look happy about seeing Adrien 

Chloe’s arrival is amazing 

THE HORROR MOVIE SCREAM 

Alya what the heck

Oh god Marinette no

Oh my hands are crInging-NO HE FELL ON HER

ALYA WHY

Okay that art is adorable but Marinette looks terrified

Wooowwww the manipulation there lol, nice job class

Oh thank goodness, 

“YOU ARE A DOLPHIN”

Oh poor Marinette

Ivan and Mylene are cuddling!

Wow Marinette is tiny

Awww DjWifi snuggles

JULROSE

wait why didn’t Mari sit with Rose?

Oh poor Marinette ;-;

Bro she’s physically uncomfortable, why would you move closer?

Oh that’s so cute-nevermind

Same Alya

Same Nino

They’re adorable but I hate this

NO THE HUG

SHE'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE WHY WOULD YOU HUG HER

I’m sorry WHAT

captain Marvel??

Alya is such a nerd I love her

A BOMB?!

Wair, do actual superheroes exist in this universe? Why hasn’t anyone shown up to help Paris??

KS THAT A PEPSI BRAND BUS

wow the cat based pun

“Lil croissants on route,” that’s CUTE

NO HER STUFF

Oh it was just puppets

OH SHE'S PRETTY

Jess, yes I like her

Is she an actual AI?

SABRINA AWWW

Oh poor Sabrina ;-;

Nice reflexes 

Oh no

THE CARTOON SLOW HEAD TURN 

Oh now this is adorable, I like the soft music playing in the background 

EW HE SNUCK TO HER ROOM 

Hot dog Dan?

IS THAT A SUPERHERO?!

STRONG ROSE

Rapunzel Sabrina???

Aww that's cute 

They’re flying!

HIGH VOICE

THATS HILARIOUS

This is really really cute, but.... aren’t Adrien and Kagami together?

Oh this is such a cute dance

“BEAUTIFUL SUNFLOWER”

Oh Marinette no....

“Repetitive behaviors,” is that a joke about how they never change?

Adrie is definitely in love, but isn’t he with, you know, KAGAMI?!

What on earth is with Jess’s eyebrows?

Wait, I'm sorry are they sending supervillains to trap them in??

Hawkmoth is wearing a seatbelt, that’s hilarious

Did.. did he seriously offer the atomic bomb

Ohhh a hologram

Oh that’s a cool supervillain 

THE POSE SCREEN FOR THE DOOR GUY IM WHEEZING 

HES TRANSFORMING TO SAVE MARI

Did you ... need to transform though? You could have just pushed her out of the way

Theyre so DUMB

Batman? Nope, just Hawkmoth

Oh Ladybug is MAD. Rightfully so though

Oh yes tell him off

Wait, they’ve heard of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Why hasn’t anyone come to help them?

CHAR NOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO

NO OH MY GOD HE KILLED HER

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FOD

CHAT KILLED SOMEONE

YES LADYBUG 

Oh my god she can actually bring people back to life

Ooooo chase scene

Teenage mutant super teens

Oh my god that’s terrifying for what happened to Paris

We are learning a lot about Ladybugs Powers, I’m loving this

HE LEFT HER

CHAT NOIR NO

HE HAS TWO MIRACULOUS NOW?!

A BALD EAGLE FOR FREEDOM 

CAN IT GET MORE AMERICAN

OH THE HAWK PERSON IS A WOMAN

Oh those two are lesbi-OH THEY'RE ACTUALLY LESBIANS

....Wow Zag is having fun with her cleavage AREN'T they?

Oh Marinno ;-;

WHAT THE HECK IS HAWKMOTH DOING

oh this is so sad

I’m getting umbrella scene flashbacks

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS ALYA

And Marinette being a thief has come back into

MARINETTE

WHY IS THIS SO SAD WHY IS SHE CRYING IN THE STREETS

Why are her boobs so BIG

Is this just proof of how dangerous the DC superheroes are?

Wait these three heroes really are just Superman, Batman, Captain America aren’t they? 

I love the AI’s hair so much, it’s so pretty

Wow Jess was won over so quickly

JESS HAS A SKATEBOARD TO TRAGEL WOW I LOVE IT

THE MOON??

All powerful magic? Useless against a simple AI

Wow he was won over quickly.. is he just really impulsive? That’s.. really not the best quality in a superhero who has the power to destroy whatever he touches.

Plagg that’s TOO CUTE

Wow I am So impressed by Jess

Awww hug

She forgave him a little too easily 

HE THREATENED A WORLD WAR?

AND PEOPLE STILL DEFEND GABRIEL?

THIS MAN IS A CHILD ABUSER, A TERRORIST, AND NOW A WAR CRIMINAL?!

He lost his TAIL

Sparrow is transforming into an Eagle I love this

Ooooooooooooo I love her use of the power

Wow he legitimately s-YES ATTA GIRL

h-how did that reach the sun so fast

I thought Chat hit the guy and not the cuffs and I had a heart attack

You’ve known her for less than a day and you trust her with a miraculous?? Wait, they know all about the miraculous?? But how?

Also I’m really happy that we have an ingenious superhero! I’m really happy that her costume isn’t sexual used, and isn’t a LEOTARD

I’m really curious about what actual ingenious people think about her as a character and her uniform

Wait, she has dreamcatchers for earrings?

Why is she looking so buff in that suit

Oh? Is this a teaser for the Shanghai episode?

BATWINGS

Oh that’s such a cute little banner for Adrien

SABRINA YOU'RE A SWEETHEART

“BIG PUFFY CLOUD”

WAIT THEY LEFT GORILLA NO

OH YES MORE GUARDIANS 

That is a very underwhelming entrance and speech. Talk about rushed how did he say that with one BREATH

HE WAS SWAYED THAT EASILY?