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popculturebuffet · 10 months ago

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Superhero Wedding Special III: The Wedding of Wally West and Linda Park

Happy belated valentine's day all you happy people! And it's time once again for my favorite tradition on this blog: the superhero wedding special.

For those just joining us I love a good wedding "episode", wether it be a good tv wedding like Adventure Time or Community, a good wedding movie like Father of the Bride or a good old fashiond superhero wedding. And since there are both so many comic book weddings and so many I haven't covered, for the past three years i've let my patreons each pick one, picked one myself, then put all four in a poll for you fine folks to choose from. First year was a tie between Rogue and Gambit's stolen wedding and Aunt Man and Doc Ock's near marriage that ended in a nuclear explosion off the coast of Canada, and last year Hulking and Wiccan had a quick wedding via mid crossover flashback among friends, then had another celebration for the whole superhero community post crossover.

Both races were tight: one was a tie and last years eeked out a win against the Batman/Catwoman wedding fiasco. So this year was a bit diffrent. Not only did I use Tumblr's minty fresh new poll system.. but the results.. weren't even remotely close.

Yeah Wally and Linda won HALF of the 18 votes for this poll, beating out Emma's choice of Lex Luthor's Space wedding, Kev's roulette wheel choice of the recent Emma Frost Tony Stark Wedding, and Brotoman.exe's runner up Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. All good choices.. but it's clear what the people wanted. Ya'll REALLY love Wally West on here, love him even more with Linda and I wholeheartedly agree. While I didn't see this landslide coming, I'm pleased as punch it happened.

So before we introduce our couple, as is tradition let's track how we got to these nuptials.

Wally was in a weird place when he met Linda, both in and out of universe. In universe.. he'd been turned into a porcupine man somehow and was being hunted by Captain Cold during his stint as a bounty hunter.

Point is he met Linda as a newswoman. Out of universe Wally had a bit of a creative rough patch in the 80's. Wally started the 80's in one of the most influental and important books of the decade and one of it's best, The New Teen Titans. And he was easily.. the weakest member of the team.

See while his teamates were either fresh new characters Wolfman and Perez refined as they went (Starfire, Raven, Cyborg) or ones who had long since needed a new coat of paint and got a second act out of the deal (Dick Grayson, Donna Troy and Beast Boy), Wally.. was the odd man out. The team tried to make him the token conservative and a reluctant hero: one who knows he has a duty but is just.. tired of it and wants to retire. NOthing wrong with that, it can be a good angle. The problem is Wally spends the book either whining about not wanting to be a hero instead of just being honest with his friends, who have plenty of power without him, or declaring raven evil out of hand. And he does have a leg to stand on in not liking her, she made him love her. But instead of focusing on that he just assumes any time she looses control slightly she's evil now and stops carring about her because of something that, unlike the brainwashing thing, was entirely out oc her control. You can read more about all this here in this mammoth I did on the series.

The takeaway is that Wally sucked. Then Crisis on Infinite Earths Happened and Barry died heroically sacrifcing himself. Wally swore at the end of that series he wouldn't become the flash... but one year later with the next crossover Legends he did.

So Wally got his own brand new solo written by Mike Baron who reworked Wally's character.. and somehow made him MORE insufferable, making him into an egotisticla impulsive ladies man who cheated on his girlfriend, let his mother walk all over his new girlfriend, a married woman he was having an affair with. He also was a giant dick to Chunk, a neurotypical genius with black hole powers and planned to exploit him. He also won the lottery, a thing that sure did happen and sure was necessary and not a cheap gimmick no one asked for yes sir.

THe baron run.. was a mess. With Wolfman and perez I can at least see what they were going for and tha tit simply failed. Here I don't know what the fuck Baron was thinking.

Thankfully soon after William Messner Loebs took over, and while i've only read a smidgen of his run and wish more was collected, it's an instant improvment: Wally looses his fortune and becomes more of a relatable every man, the "you could have a beer with him" sort whose just at home at a hockey game as he is fighting snake themed terrorists.

So with Wally's new personality came a stable love intrest in Linda. Linda was just what Wally needed: someone who saw through all his bullshit, that all the swaggering and screwing around was compensating for the mountain of issues he refused ot work through.

Linda ended up seeing enough of Wally's good nature to start dating him casually, which lasted into the Mark Waid run, where the two were truly fleshed out as a couple.. and which i've read a solid chunk of. Mark Waid is seen as the man who truly made wally the flash and it's hard to argue that as Wally grew as a person bit by bit over the run. He was still impulsive, down to earth and quippy as fuck, but the overcompensation, horn doggery and assholishness were gone. He also gave wally his full backstory, and helped him finally get over comparisons to barry, making his speed limit that internalized imposter syndrome I mentiond: he was scared of replacing Barry.. but more scared of letting THIS BASTARD DO IT.... god I gotta cover the Return of Bary Allen sometime.

So through all this growth for Wally, he and linda grew as a couple: When Linda asked just how serious they were Wally balked, then got caught up on a flash thing... before speeding his way on a train to ask her to stay. The two have great chemistry: Linda likes Wally's fun nature, down to earth stylez and the fact he dosen't treat her like she's made of glass.. most of the time (Some incidents shook him up a bit), while Wally loves her no nonsense atittude, the only thing that often cuts thorugh his bullshit when he hyperfixates on his latest problem. She's his rock, he's her roll, and they need that ballance. She keeps him grounded.. and not just in the speed force, as discovering it nearly caused wally to loose himself.. but her love anchored him back.

So their marriage was inevitible and while I coudln't find the proposal issue, it's no suprise it happened: the two loved each other deeply and there's a reason they got so much love in this poll, and it's nice the two are back solidly as a couple with no signs of more ediotial fuckery making one of them not exist or forget the other or whatever.

So with that we're at the wedding. It came towards the end of Mark waid's run, right before Geoff Johns also super special awesome run, with Johns getting to define their married life more. It also begins a bit of a weird arc i'll talk about when we get to the end of the issue btu for now it's a blessed day for a blessed couple under the cut.

Since the wedding itself is supervillain free, we open with a big action set piece. Said set piece is excellent: Waid really knows how to write a flash story and sneakily choose villians who were key to Wally and Linda's history: Kobra

I had to and Mark waid had to know what he was doing introdcuing a snake themed terroist group. Kobra is a cult/terriorst group ran by Kobra with a K. They nearly destroyed Keystone City during the Terminal Velocity arc, with Wally forced to go as fast as he possibly could to save Linda, nearly loosing himself in the process. This is where the anchor thing happened. What I really like is the story.. dosen't bring this up. He just mentions he's "tussled with them" before, so newer readers don't have to get an info dump, but people who've been reading a while get the continuity nod.

It's a fun opener too as Wally zooms around, interogates a guy by shaking him real hard, and finds out Kobra's hiding at Broome Plaza, a nice nod to Wally co-creator John Broome. Kobra can teleport so he nopes out, but wally uses a neat trick: since he's faster than sound, he can catch up to what their saying.. and thus evacuate city hall before their bomb goes off. Said attack annoys wally a little but he's able to catch his marriage certificate. It's a good cold open that gives us some flash action.. and allows the rest of the issue to just be a simple plain clothes wedding.

Granted no wedding is simple and Wally reacts to hearing the cake may be off.. is to kidnap a chef from paris.

I.. I want to know how Wally knows this guy, and why he can just kidnap Pierre at a moment's notice. Did he kindap a random chef or do they have a history? Who was he fighting in paris? he WAS part of Justice League Europe for quite some time so it's plausable but dammit I want this story told Mark.

Linda rather than overreacting.. is greatful she has a soon to be husband whose so kind and considerate he'd run al lthe way to paris to kidnap her a baker. The two get down on the floor but before they can get doooowwnwnnn on the floor Linda's parents walk in. Thankfully their quickly distracted though Wally notices something's off: while Linda's had nothing resembling cold feet she freezes up a bit when Wally brushes off his parents, not even having checked if their coming. As you'll soon se he has every reason not to give a shit.

What he does give a shit about is Linda making Bart, aka impulse the ring bearer. Impulse was Wally's equilvent to kid flash and eventually his kid flash, before Wally became Wally's kid flash more recently. That wasn't a typo, there are two of them, it's not important to any of this.

For those less familiar with my boy, Bart is a hyperactive mess, having been raised in virtual reality simulation in the future and thus having trouble slowing down, not helped by being a speedster whose all but said to have ADHD. Wally's relationship with bart's a contrast to Barry's with him: While Barry was a fair mentor and the father Wally needed, Wally.. simply dosen't have the patience to actually train his young ward. Wally and Bart are too much alike, both impulsive, both running a mile a minute, and thus Bart was trained instead by Wally's own secondary mentor Max Mecury, a golden age speedster who has nothing BUT patience and when Max went into comic limbo, the almost as patent first flash Jay Garrick took the reigns. It's a detail I like as it not only set up Bart's own series well but makes sense: Wally can help Bart in small doses and dosen't abandon him, but simply can't handle the kid. It's telling that noawadays while he's taken a roll in mentoring his cousin, Wallace is both way calmer and Wally's matured enough from being a parent to actually handle being a mentor.

Thankfully Linda has patience for both of them and takes care of bart in a really clever way

Sadly the good times can't last and Wally's parents arrive and we see WHY he was so aphrensive about them showing up.

Yeah besides the .. questionable gifts, Waid does a godo job showing WHY he dosen't like them without getting into their histories: Wally's dad gives him a cheap gift and brings a date younger than his own son, and Wally's Mom's every action towards him is some veiled crticisim. Their awful and waid has never sugacoated that, and their constant baggering may explain New Teen Titans era wally in canon: Wally was less himself at the time because he was BADLY trying to be what they wanted and once he got the freedom of being the flash, he snapped back into being who he truly was.

Wally gets them to go away by playing "LOOK A RELATIVE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THEIR INHERTIANCE" and linda tenses up again, not getting at WHY she keeps doing that. Wally is quickly distracted by this hair crime

Oh all the ways i'm going to have fun with this. Okay for starters Dick, your the son of the world's greatest detective. Bruce has taught you better wig game than that and you damn well know it. 80's metal hair is not Nightwing level disguise work Richard.

Second... how is the "Theodore Logan" look less conspcious than the adopted son of a millionare being friends with a public figure?

Third: All this is going to do is have papparzi asking "Whose Wally West's Best Man?". Does Dick have a cover identity all set up for this or did he only think of this plan the 5 minutes it took to buy a "babies first winger costume" wig.

Fourth: right after the rest of the titans show up, and Donna herself is a public figure, having taken pictures of starfire and being a high profile fashion photographer, Roy himself is ward of a billionare and Garth has no secret identity. how is "bruce wayne's son" any less conspcious.

And fifth WHY of all the wigs did he choose a perm that resembles their teammate jericho they watched get stabbed in front of them not a year ago probably in universe. Maybe two.

To my shock by the end Joey was apparently fronting whitesnake so what the hell dick. Why remind all your many friends present "oh yeah remember our friend who got stabbed in the chest in front of us".

So the rest of the titans arrive and somehow don't razz Dick for this hair crime, though even through that perm dick can sense somethin'gs off with linda. We get mor ehints why as Wally dosen't intorduce the titans to his family: Linda was the one to invite them and while he's glad they came he's not really.. close to any of them. The people he is make a bit more of an intrance, as the JLA arrive, with Superman worried about paparazzi. I mean dick will never live down that perm if they see it.

Wally kept the location on the DL.. which won't really stop paparazzi , even 90's paparazzi, and just makes Dick's hair somehow more rediculous. Any more and it'll become a force unto itself.

Thankfully more of Wally's REAL family shows up: Iris. for those wondering why this is a big deal at the time Iris was living in the future: she's from the 30th century, it's a long story, point is she stayed there after Barry's death both to raise her kids and to avoid spoiling the future. Ironically she'd come back full time during the next run as the future changed enough she had no idea what to expect, but for now Wally's worried she'll give her dad a heart attack.. only for her to explain she already went and saw her dad and explained stuff. Family is important.

This finally snaps Linda's bugging into focus for Wally: family. Wally's been icing his out and THAT'S what linda keeps being nervous about. So , not supposed to see the bride be dammned, he goes to iron this out in a beautiful scene that both explains WHY he's like this to his family, something we've clearly seen, and why Linda's in no danger

IT's really well done, and I like that Wally acknowledges his extended family.. did nothing wrong. He was just so determined to keep his parents away he accidently kept them away too and geninely wants to work on it. I don't think he DOES, but the comic both changes gears then changes writers after this, and I can't blame Geoff for not following up on this. He was never scared of her.. he just has bad parents.

I also like that the comic has the aseop that it's ENTIRELY okay Wally wants to push his parents away and wants nothing to do with them. There are far too many bits of media that ar elike "Oh your birth family is important, you shouldn't pusht hem away. Your parents mean something".. but forget that sometimes parents are abusive shit stains. I was lucky to get a wonderful mom and a dad I can at least talk to, but not everyone has a good relationship with their parents or wants to be around them. WE've seen how little they actually care about wally or his big day, and how much having them there throws him off. Yet we've also subtly seen.. wally HAS family. He's found family with the titans, with the League. You don't need blood to be a family. You just need love, to respect one another and to be there.. and Wally and LInda have that.

So it's time for the ceremony with the wedding party apparently only consisting of Beavis, Jesse Quick (Close ally of Wally's and fellow speedster) and Bart. It's then Wally realizes something and handles it like the responsible about to be married man he is.

Yeah the fastest man alive, who was hovering over his wife as she planned this ceremony... forgot his vows. it's so wally it hurts and i'm here for it. Thankfully he's the fastest man alive and after thinking back on their history, the good, the bad, and how she's always made him feel... he simply says his vows from the gut, which really is again the most wally west thing imaginable and i'm still here for it.

It's a beautiful speech that sums up their relationship, what they mean..and is also something Wally REALLY shoudl've thought through. You'd think after a decade as a superhero, at least he'd know not to tempt fate as suddenly.. Linda dosen't exisit. Wally finds something with her name, asks dick about it, Dick assumes wally horny Richard, and Dick dosen't even question the haunted wig in his apartment. Linda is trapped and yeah that's how the issue ends.

Yeah, the big milestone wedding.. ends with a fucking kidnapping and leads into an arc I haven't gotten to. And look i'll do a LOT for reasearch, I just covered 20 some issues of Transformers Robots in Disguise so I could cover the crossover with More than Meets the Eye next month, entirely so i'd do it right.. but even i'm not so through that i'd read 18 issues of the flash in an arc i'm eh about reading some day but will probably get to complete the mark waid run for a one and a half issue review.

So the short version of what you missed: Wally disappeared into time and space without LInda to anchor him. Replacing him was Wallace West, an angsty wally from another timeline who replaced him for a while, a storyline I mostly know about because it leaked into JLA for a bit, with Wally revealing his identity to a few people to get their trust. Wallace was the darker and edgier flash no one asked for, fought crime, fell in love... and then Wally came back and rescued LInda, who it turned out had been kidnapped by his old nemisis Abra Kadabra, a magician from the 60th century who as you can tell by how elaborate and dickish this plot is, has a flair for both trying to ruin wally's life and the dramatic. Hilaroiusly, as I read, Wally gets him to undo it.. by pointing out no one knew what he did. So Wallace was supposed to go back and go back miserable because fuck him for wanting to be happy I guess. Can you kinda.. see why I have no real intrest in this storyline outside of Wally and LInda? Maybe pick that up?

So for expediency's sake and to give us a better ending we WILL be covering the flash #159.. but just the wally and linda parts as we don't really need Wallace's dramatic exit.

We do start on it though as the League demands he go home and can't take his girlfriend with him. He picked up a girlfriend it's a thing. Superman is being an uncharactristic super ass while Wally is being less than helpful.. albeit given Wallace DIN'T have his memories of Linda erased and could've been helping them, I can't say I blam ehim.

So once Wallace leaves to have one last good day, Bart, having the tact of a tornado on roller skates, asks when the wedding resumes. Wally decides right the fuck now and speeds into actoin to get everything: catering, her parents farmhouse ready again, the lisence.

Wally spends the day even more hyperactive than usual... which is somehow indeed possible. The superheroes around Linda assure her it's fine, with Donna being the only one to make sure things haven't changed. Linda still LOVES wally.. but she can see something's wrong. And unlike with her on the previous wedding day, Wally's FAR less subtle about it so I don't know why no one else is like "okay maybe we shoudl check on him.

We get to the wedding itself.. and Linda holds it, not wanting to Marry wally while he's having what's clearly a barely supressed emotoinal breakdown.

I love this because it really.. boils down their dynamic: Linda loves wally, who he is and dosen't doubt that for a second.. but she's also 9/10 the one who pulls his head out of his ass. Wally's a good guy, we've seen it here.. but he acts first asks later, and LInda's one the remind him that you have to slow down every once in a while and have a conversation. Also yeah, between Dick's wig and Clark's super pope hat he's bummed he didn't get to wear to this because you bastards didn't ask him to officiate, they've seen weirder.

Wally agrees, yeah that's it. He saw a version of himself who went down a dark path.. and really wasn't THAT diffrent. All it took was loosing linda, which is WHY Walter is an edgelord for the record. Linda.. isn't amused, especially since Wally implies part of this is to widen the gap between them. Wally's friends are.. less than sympathetic. Well okay Roy is. It's just roy actually, Max is worried and Jay knows they just need to work it out and will. But roy well..

That is both a perfect exchange for those two.. and entirely why Roy isn't invited to weddings that much. I only think he got into this one as Donna's +1.

Wally however.. assures her that's not the case and once again gets a fantastic speech in

It's a heartfelt speech and get's linda to just.. skip to the i dos, the two kiss and one of the most solid marriages in all of comcis begins. It's a beautiful speech.

As for the issues themselves.. their okay. Yeah for such a great couple and with so many great moments, the first issue feels a bit short, like we needed more time for the wedding and the whole stupid kidnapping plot means we get cheated out of a reception, which as we've seen from both Rogue and Gambit and Teddy and Billy's nuptial's, is often some of the best stuff, allowing a bunch of characters to bounce off each other. Instead since the circumstances are dire after the intital wedding and dire right before the makeup, with our heroes recovering for it, we don't really get to have FUN with this. There's good moments, but these weddings are a bit of a disapointment and I don't know what Mark Waid or Ediotiral was thinking with this. It's still JUST good enough to not be a complete waste of your time, I recommend at least 142, but it still coudl've been SO much better and it's a shame this is the first wedding for this feature I just. .haven't been that jazzed about. I wanted to like it. the art for the first issue does not help, being all kinds of rediuclous and giving us the enternal shame that is Dick Grayson's perm.

So where did Wally and LInda go from here? Well honestly.. marital bliss at first. As I said Geoff Johns run, a brilliant followup to what Mark Waid did that brought back the Rogues after Waid wrote them out and redefined Captain Cold, follows them as newlyweds: they deal with space, moving, and LInda going back to college for a subplot that ultimately goes nowhere outside of one kidnapping by a prince from another dimension. Story for another time.

The two were solid for the most part and even had an unexpected suprise: TWINS. The two were happy to start their family... but unfortuantely Wally's freshly minted new arch enemy Zoom undid the babies out of his warped thinking tragedy makes better heroes. Which it often does, but feels like a critqiue on piling on tragedy because "that's what sueprheroes are". Granted Geoff Johns isn't innocent of this, but it's still a good lesson.

Afterwards Hal Jordan wiped everyone's memories of wally's identity and after re learning it Linda disappeared before coming back, the babies were restored, and the two had a happy marriage again with kids till infinite crisis. Then wally was put through the SHIT for nigh on a decade until a recent return, a wonderful run you should check out by Jeremey Whitley and a sci fi run I haven't that sounds neat by by my Boy Simon Spurrier. The two aren't without conflict. .but they have a love and understanding that makes them get past it. Wally and Linda have a beautiful relationship and I can't wait to see them again on this blog some day.

For now thanks for reading.

#the flash #wally west #linda park #dick grayson #jay garrick #max mercury #wedding #valentine's day #superhero wedding #superhero #dc comics

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