#super hero super nerd boss lady

[mermaidsirennikita]

Dearest rogue in your recs and mentioning the dry humping YEEES!! Dry humping is so underrated and unappreciated, it's so hot and fun I wish there were more books with it

Could you rec some?

Honestly, I think dry humping is in general something people should get more on the program with because society needs to get away from penetration being the only source of pleasure.... and in romance novels it's SUCH a good way to ramp up tension and conversely, because of how society is dumb about it you can have the leads be all "it's not sex it's fine". Like. Okay sure.

Historical:

A Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare has a famous scene where the hero (a rake) and the heroine (a nerd) are in a room together on a roadtrip deal and hear the couple in the next room having loud sex, and she's all "gross" and he's like "AU CONTRAIRE SHALL I DO A DEMO" and they get off with a sheet between them. It's one of those "well that escalated quickly, that got really out of hand" scenes, which is what dry humping scenes SHOULD BE.

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long has a scene where I think she's grinding on him when they're on like a bench outside? And she's a super inexperienced virgin so she's on a "if it feels good go with it" kick and he's much older and is like "oookkaaaaaaay simmer down there".

It Had to Be A Duke by Vivienne Lorret has another "she uses him to get off" dry humping scene, we love to see it.

The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley. Ian introduces Beth to dry jumping by having her get on his thigh in like... his brother's living room I think lmao? When there are people that could come in at any moment? Tbh, after reading somewhere around 7 books in this series, I feel like the MacKenzie brothers just give each other a 30 second delay before walking into any room and if it smells like sex they're just like "FINE. PLEASE CLEAN MY COUCH AT LEAST". They're usually all at Hart's house at some point. His Victorian dry cleaning bill is probably fucking insane.

Grace Callaway often has this, I think--I feel like Olivia and The Masked Duke has a scene.

I could be wrong about this but I thiiiink The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe has dry humping. It's a sex lessons book, and they often do; I need to reread it.

Contemporary:

The Professional by Kresley Cole has a scene where the hero and heroine start grinding while he's like on top of her in a cornfield lmao. I think this is their first experience together. He's trying to haul her off to Russia to her mob boss father and is all "I CAN'T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE" but he does touch the merchandise a LOT and she touches back.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan. The setup is that the hero and heroine are roommates, she finds out he's a well-known porn star, she's super repressed and they get an idea to work with other adult film people to create like, sex and sexual health resources for people, and there's a sex position they're trying to like demo together when they're alone to attempt to explain it to people, and it turns into a friend-on-friend impetuous dry hump.

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli has an excellent scene where Enzo finds Gia chilling Platonically with his brother in the hot tub (a hot tub, where, I might add, Enzo's brothers would just FUCK GIRLS SIDE BY SIDE) and is super ticked about it so he gets in the hot tub and is like "okay babe if you're so hard up for it just hop on my lap and take it for a spin". Which she does. Shamefully lmao.

Paranormal:

Lothaire by Kresley Cole. In general, I think several IAD books have dry humping, but this one is SO FAMOUS and the best dry humping scene I've ever read. Lothaire has Ellie captive because he's, you know, evil, and she's decided to offer him sexual favors in order to get the upper hand (after sagely noticing that he's HARD UP). She's a virgin... but she's not without experience lol, so when he's all "fine blow me" she's like "actually.... I'm an EXPERT at dry humping, and I was FAMOUS in my high school for that" and he's like "lmao sure" but within minutes she has him DYING. She also gets mad at him after and finds him having an existential crisis about it in the shower and throws his cum-soaked jeans at him like "HAVE FUN WASHING THESE ASSHOLE" which I adore. Ellie is my fucking favorite, there are some God tier heroines I will defend to the death and she's one of them.

And in their "own damn thang" castegory....

I mean, all of Sierra Simone's books probably have dry humping at some point, but standouts include:

American Queen: MMF. Ash (President Sexy) makes Greer (his girlfriend at the time) hump his leg to climax while Embry (Vice President Sad Horny) watches because he can Sense The Vibe. And Embry and Greer are all "nooooooooooo :(((" about it while also being very "if you say so :)))))".

Salt Kiss: MMF. After Mark (daddy dom) sends Tristan (bodyguard sub/mild switch?) to guard Isolde (knife sub) on her journey to marry Mark, Tristan and Isolde, who are both very fucked up about Mark but also wildly into each other, have a sparring session that turns into a MAGNIFICENT dry humping scene. I reread it this morning, actually, and it's.... a lot.

A Lesson in Thorns: MMF, FF. A very special scene where during a game of spin the bottle one person makes another person spank the third person, all fully clothed, and perhaps there is some dry humping and perhaps some delicious embarrassment occurs.

[spheroz]

AGGHHH I IUST SPENT LIKE TEN MINUTES ON A POST AN DTHEN DELETED IT AGHHHHHH. ANYWAYS. Take this where I explain my final decisions on this au

Dick is honey lemon. He gives off such honey lemon vibes. He just wants to help and he’s really sweet and everyone loves him. I also feel like he gets excited in the same way Honey Lemon does when she talks about her chemical reactions and stuff :). I also th in o he listens to his music at the same volume she does :). Now before I get people saying that he should be tadashi let me just say, that is a great point. If I was including tadashi. But I am not. As much as I love him, he’s not part of the super hero team :/ so Dick is Honey Lemon.

Jason is wasabi, I find it silly and also I believe that he would act very similar to Wasabi if he hadn’t been killed by the joker. He was a nerd. Thank you.

Stephanie is Fred. She just is, I think it works. And from the (sadly) very few comics I have with her in it she acts more like Fred than almost everyone else :).

Tim is Hiro, he fits the genius thing :) and I feel like he deals with things the same way Hiro does. He gets sad and won’t talk to people and then he reflects it on something else so he doesn't feel sad until he just explodes. And again he’s super smart. And he just gives me Hiro vibes.

And then Cass is Gogo. She doesn’t just look like her I feel like they give off the same vibes. The super chill female lady girl boss taht every child had a crush on(…just me? Oh…no that’s not right:/) and Gogo just gives Cass.

so yeah :) yayaya

Batfam-Big Hero 6 au??

so, I’m just proposing this but….batfam big hero six au??? Like???

so here is what I’m thinking

Honey-lemon or Fred- Dick

Gogo or Hero- Tim

Wasabi or Gogo- Jason

Honey-lemon- Steph

(this might not b accurate at all but hear me out) Honey-lemon- Duke

Gogo- Cass

(See this seems like the obvious choice which is the sole reason I don’t want to put it but really I can see it kinda sorta)Hero-Damian

sooo I don’t know what I’m accomplishing with this but it’s my idea, and also I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s already been down but still. Likeeee hehe

[isagrimorie]

My knowledge about what a Museum Curator does is very limited and most of what I know is from Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider, and The Mummy. 

So, really not a lot.

But because Diana Prince works for the Louvre, I’ve now looked it up. Wikipedia writes: 

Traditionally, a curator or keeper of a cultural heritage institution (e.g., gallery, museum, library, or archive) is a content specialist charged with an institution's collectionsand involved with the interpretation of heritage material.

A traditional curator's concern necessarily involves tangible objects of some sort—artwork, collectibles, historic items, or scientific collections. More recently, new kinds of curators have started to emerge: curators of digital data objects and biocurators.

[snip]

In larger institutions, the curator's primary function is that of a subject specialist, with the expectation that he or she will conduct original research on objects and guide the organization in its collecting. Such institutions can have multiple curators, each assigned to a specific collecting area (e.g., curator of ancient art, curator of prints and drawings, etc.) and often operating under the direction of a head curator. In such organizations, the physical care of the collection may be overseen by museum collections managers or museum conservators, and documentation and administrative matters (such as personnel, insurance, and loans) are handled by a museum registrar.

[snip]

Curators hold a high academic degree in their subject, typically a Doctor of Philosophy or a master's degree in subjects such as history, history of art, art, archaeology, anthropology, or classics.[6][7][8] Curators are also expected to have contributed to their academic field, for example, by delivering public talks, publishing articles, or presenting at specialist academic conferences.[6] It is important that curators have knowledge of the current collecting market for their area of expertise, and are aware of current ethical practices and laws that may impact their organisation's collecting.[9][10]

Here’s the link to additional qualifications for the Louvre itself.

The curators assigned to the Louvre automatically become part of the wider organization encompassing France's recognized "national museums".  Because the Louvre's eight departments are officially recognized heritage bodies, their curators are expert advisers on all cultural property in circulation: this extends to acquisitions being made by regional museums and the preparation of reports on "national treasures". This latter term covers any item of cultural property which, given its value as part of the national heritage, may not, under the terms of legislation passed in 1992 , be removed from French territory.

As recognized specialists in their fields, the curators contribute to the international outreach of the Louvre's collection: they speak at international conferences; teach at the Louvre School, the Institut National du Patrimoine, the Institute for the Restoration of Works of Art, the Ecole Normale Supérieure, and various universities; sit on examination boards; and publish papers in their field of expertise.

So, now I can’t help but think of Diana attending academic conferences and her, probably, impressive body of published articles. I can imagine Diana having a few PhDs under her belt, and as part of her job is to secure artifacts:

 Whatever their field—archaeology or paintings, for example—curators are responsible for the safety of the works in their department's collection and the premises where they are housed. This entails an almost daily round of maintenance visits with museum security chiefs: technical and logistics heads, fire officers, and attendants working in the galleries and reserve collections. These visits are accompanied by checks of the alarm systems, the showcases, the hung works, and the overall state of the displays. Before being hung, placed in a showcase, lent out to an exhibition, or loaned to another museum or institution, all works are given a "health check." When restoration is required, the curator gives an expert opinion and takes the necessary decisions, notably on the extent of the restoration. 

This might be the reason why Diana was in London, when she actually works for the Louvre. Maybe the Louvre lent a collection to them and Diana accompanied and supervised the exhibit? 

I hope fandom plays around more about Diana being a Museum Curator, and how she might be pretty popular in certain circles of her work, with a lot of students clamoring to get into a lecture with Diana Prince. 

Maybe one or two visiting lecturers love to have spirited discussions with Diana, especially about an article she wrote from three years ago. The possibilities are endless!

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

The City is Ours ; WIP Intro

Genre/Setting

modern/low sci-fi, superheroes ; set in a big city that I'm cautiously giving the placeholder name Henderson, somewhere north on a US coast

Playlist

POV

third person limited, multiple characters

Status and Length

outlining and planning ; five book series (hopefully)

Tropes and Themes

found family but they’re all dumbasses, chaotic teenagers with superpowers, a little bit of romance on the side, villain arcs and redemption arcs, forgiveness, are you the hero or the villain, what’s the difference between good and evil, reluctant villains, queer representation, POC representation, disabled and neurodivergent representation, Jewish and Muslim representation

Warnings and rating

violence, potential torture, mild cussing, guns, blood, potential depictions of discrimination and bigotry (towards super-powered people mostly), trauma and mental health issues, and lots of angst ; Teen and Up

Main Characters

Nickelle AKA The Icicle (she/her) *main POV*

Team Leader

Ice Powers

AroAce

Japanese American

Lead Singer of a local Band

Asher AKA The Flashlight (he/him)

Team Dad

Light and Shadow Powers

Gay Christian

Latino American

LEGO and Star Wars nerd

Gabriella *no superhero name, not known to public* (she/her)

Team Cheerleader/Fashion Designer

No Powers

White American

CisHet

Blonde Bimbo

Kylee AKA Now-Ya-See-Her-Girl (she/they)

Youngest Teammate

Speed and Invisibility Powers

Redhead White American

PanAce

Nonspeaking Autistic

Bryson AKA The Healer (he/him)

Team Medic

Healing Powers *the only person he can't use his powers on is himself*

African American

CisHet (but he's on thin ice)

Will lecture you if you get injured doing something stupid or reckless

(not official yet I'm just considering it) Has Type 1 diabetes

Vira "V" AKA Morph (they/them)

Team Big Sibling

Shapeshifting Powers

Nonbinary Lesbian

Muslim

Soccer and Softball Player

Cocky and impulsive

Jason AKA The Hotshot (he/him)

Team Asshole

Fire Powers

White American

CisHet

Thinks he's special because his dad is rich

Chase AKA TechGuy (he/him)

Team Tech and Hacker

No Powers

American Romani

PanAro

Jewish

*possibly* Bipolar Disorder and or OCD

Anxiety and Depression

Antagonists

Black Hole- the first big bad. alien from space who's just trying to get some extra credit so they don't fail their AP Planet Domination Class

Miss Recluse- One of Black Hole's three sidekicks. Full tilt diva

The Magician- Black Hole's second sidekick. Besties with Miss Recluse.

Mr. Cyanide- Black Hole's third sidekick that becomes a bigger threat villain. Mad scientist with a deadly knack for chemistry.

The Snow Queen- Big bad in the last three books. Mainly uses her ice to control tech and people. Only an urban myth until the last two books.

Boss Lady- Mafia boss who's working for/with the Snow Queen. Big stronk woman with the muscles of a strongman

Blood Debt- Mainly a loner vigilante anti-hero that kills people who have done wrong. Does jobs for the Snow Queen. The Grim Reaper if he were in a biker gang.

Nightmare- small time villain that doesn't actually hurt anyone. Her powers can put people to sleep and she's a really smart engineer. More of an anti-hero side character if you squint

Plot

A bunch of rookie teenage superheroes and their journey to becoming family, protectors of the city, and eventually defenders of the world over the course of five years and five books- following their adventures in crime-fighting, chore rotations, grocery shopping, fighting and protecting each other like siblings, and saving the world.

Extra Stuff

Been working on this one for a while, but I didn't want to introduce it until i figured out an official name. The title might change later but I wouldn't mind if it stuck. I have a feeling Nickelle and Kylee are going to become my favorites

~~~

Tagging a couple of people and my mutuals that I hope will be interested or at least help get it to others:

@rose-bookblood @memento-morri-writes @bloodlessheirbyjacques @kjscottwrites @fiercely-raging-writer @emelkae @wip-nook @friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn

[baymaksu]

The Teen Power Couple

It’s fun to think if our love nerds had to become involved in a more traditional Marvel multiverse war, what would it take for our young heroes to stand their own against other super powered beings?

Because let’s face it, I love the Disney BH6-verse because it’s rife with heroes and villains based on real-world STEM projects and tech. But unless they are at peak Tony Stark-level tech, it would be hard to hold their own in more traditional Marvel settings.

So I present to you, the near epitome of Hiro and Karmi as a power couple entering the fray! Let’s examine their capabilities, shall we?

First, we have the fully realized version of my Sunflower AU!Hiro. With the help of Karmi, he has fully realized his genetic potential and has the flame and heated plasma capabilities of Sunfire.

But Hiro will always keep faith in his tech as he progresses to be the young Tony Stark of their universe. The boy sports a sleek nanosuit with supersonic waves and neurotransmitter-precise magnetic manipulation. The nanosuit also safely houses Baymax to support Hiro. Underlying the suit is a layer of nanodex for enhanced strength, modulated by the neurotransmitter. Both his suit and flame form allow for personal flight. He also keeps a contingent of nanobots, giving him the ability to affect the battle at a larger scale.

Next, Karmi is an peak amalgamation of both versions of my Lady Marvel’s. At the physiological level, Karmi has fully realized her own Inhuman genetics through her own Chimeran nanites coursing through her body to express those genes. She has also managed to develop her own “super soldier” bio-engineering augmentations that have all contributed to giving her peak capabilities in strength, speed, reflexes and healing factors.

This is further enhanced by Hiro’s gift to her, the Stormranger nanosuit that provides her with impeccable protection while being intuitive to enhance her own movements further. She also wields Boss Awesome’s adamantium shield and a perfected version of her hardlight gauntlet, giving her a wide range of capabilities limited only by her imagination. It also gives her the ability to go to battle alongside her hardlight projected “Cute Army.” Like Hiro’s nanobots, this also allows Karmi to have an impact on the larger battlefront.

Of course, the real power for these two is when these two prodigal geniuses work together. Their combined intelligence and desire to keep each other safe makes them a formidable pair to face against.

If these all sound rather OP, that’s the point. In traditional Marvel settings, these aren’t all that spectacular when considering what others can do. Because even with all of these capabilities, it just makes them contenders against the really dangerous Marvel super powered beings. When epic is the norm, our teens have to adapt at epic proportions.

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

I wanna hear abt ur ocs owo 👉👈🥺

AAAA omg bless u you’re a peach <3

I would love to tell you about my OCs I’m like Charlie It’salwayssunny over here I’ve got boxes full of OC stuff I’m just dying to talk about. I’ll put everything under a read more so anyone that’s not interested can just skip past here cause I’m about to get RAMBLY okay let me tell you about my beloveds

Okay so by far my favorite creative project right now is my novel that I’ve been planning on & off since January of 2019, the working title is Villainous, it’s like the most refined and likely to actually go somewhere of all my story ideas and I swear this thing holds my entire soul

The actual story is a play on the classic Career Woman RomCom setup except her name is ~Magnate~ and her big city career that never gives her time for love is ~Supervillain~

unfortunately I don’t have any art of her or any of the other characters yet because good super designs are difficult to nail down, but I’m working on it!

Anyway Magnate is amazing and a bit of an ass and I like her so much <3 She’s a big time supervillain that uses the high tech gadgets she creates for your standard robberies heists kidnapping the mayor the usual. Her parents were shitty white collar criminals that on top of being totally uninvolved in their daughter’s life embezzled from their numerous charity organizations, leading her to be suspicious of anyone that calls themselves a hero + giving her a whopping case of trust issues and a loose grasp on ethics, cuz hey, morality may be a ruse but the power and prestige sure aren’t. She's worked hard and climbed the ladder and made a name for herself as a kickass supervillain, and she plays cool and dramatic but underneath all the bravado she’s just an endearingly awkward nerd who wants a friend, which is where the next character comes in~

So for plot reasons Magnate joins up with another even more infamous supervillain to get a spot as his right hand woman in his plan for world domination, and she’s fine and everything’s business as usual until she’s told that she has to work with another person he’s recruited for her part of the plan to do biochemistry stuff synthesizing the compounds they need while she engineers the tech components, and so enters best boy Dr. Bodhi Bright who crashes into her carefully curated life and ruins everything in the nicest way :)

listen, I LOVE this guy he’s weird he’s a weirdo, just a chill funky lil dude with the most incomprehensible moral compass on Earth. Because of their job he and Magnate have to spend a lot of time together forcing Magnate to actually socialize for once beyond hurling quips at her nemesis, and right of the bat Bodhi completely throws her off her game vis a vis her supervillain image with just his whole deal. He’s this sweet polite guy who’ll talk about a death ray in the same casual tone as the minutiae of city parking, he’s new to the villainy thing and he just thinks Magnate is cool. Bodhi thinks he’s just good at reading people but he actually has minor latent empathic abilities which let him pick up on Magnate’s bravado and so he’s just...not intimidated by her at all. He completely circumvents the whole ‘big evil supervillain’ thing and just talks to her like they’re normal coworkers. And it’s not like they can just find somebody else to replace him so Magnate’s forced to respond and build an actual relationship and rapport with someone for the first time in ever. So they get closer and become actual friends, Bodhi starts calling her ‘Meg’ because Magnate kind of sounds like Margaret, and she lets him. Meg shows him the ropes of villainy, and just sort of learns to be a person again through working & developing this friendship with him, remembering what it’s like to be genuinely happy and excited about her everyday life and care about more than just her job, to open herself up to care about other people at all, and this is a romantic comedy so of course as the story progresses they fall in love and just—GAH I love their relationship so much they're so good for each other I could talk about them forever and I’m literally writing a book about it so like yeah they’re great. my darlings <3.

Here I’ve got some memes to give a better impression of their dynamic

I've only really got one other important character left to talk about aside from Meg & Bodhi's boss (he's literally the worst & the major antagonist for the book that's all that needs going into for now otherwise this thing is just going to reach unwieldingly more rambly and specific heights) and she's the secondary antagonist, superhero extraordinaire and Meg's nemesis AmaZing (get it? like amazing? except it sounds like amazon? cuz she's a lady superhero—) in a shocking turn of events this woman is the best person out of any of the people here and also the most well adjusted, she is also a very interesting character to me and I could probably pull a whole other book out of her character if I wanted to. AmaZing’s real name is Zoe Amison, before she was a hero she was a professional ballerina with a kickboxing hobby that she used to keep in shape, her first night out I think she was just straight up dressed in her costume for Firebird or something. She has superhuman strength and agility, her powers manifest with these bursts of golden sparks and arcs of electricity which she can direct as a close range weapon, basically she’s very good at the big punchy aesthetics. She’s known as one of the best superheroes in terms of like who they are as people, she tries to help rehabilitate the supervillains she fights, including Magnate, even though most of them have none of it, any money she gets from her hero work she donates back to the community so she can contribute more than just punching muggers, and she does a lot of activism and charity events on the side. She makes most of the money she needs to eat and whatnot in the cornerstore she inherited that her family’s owned for generations, and she lives in the apartment above the store with her girlfriend because YES she’s a lesbian YES her girlfriend is trans YES they are disgustingly in love and YES they own a cat named Petal together. (Her girlfriend’s name is Callie (short for Calliope) she’s a nurse and patches Zoe up when she gets hurt on the job)

And there is so much more I could say about this thing but that’s about all I can muster right now in terms of like a basic overview of these characters. Thank you so much for this ask dude this was so fun to do!!

[raendown]

My part of a trade with @rookie-d and boy was this fun to write! 

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 3477 Rated: T+ Summary: Madara hated the morning shift. It was always boring and getting up early sucked. Thankfully the one time he had to work it something interesting happened, at least.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Zombies Before Noon

Their first meeting was one that Madara would remember for all the reasons Tobirama probably wished he would forget. Several hours in to a criminally early morning shift he was bored out of his skull and wondering why the hell a comic book shop needed to be open before any of the local nerds around here were even awake. He’d already tidied the shelves four times and dusted the entire premises twice when the cheery jingle of the bell over their door made him lift his head hopefully. That look quickly morphed in to horror as he took in the sight of what was clearly a zombie entering the store. 

Skin so pale it looked almost paper white, circles under his eyes so dark they looked drawn on with marker, and clothes rumpled like they hadn’t seen an ironing board in years, the man who stumbled in had his eyes completely closed and his arms hanging loose at both sides. Only three steps in he stopped dead and just stood there. Motionless. Possibly not breathing. Madara looked around for a hidden camera, wondering if his younger brother had set him up for some kind of weird prank. That was the sort of thing Izuna would do. Nothing new or suspicious stuck out to him, though, so he turned back to the stranger who was now slowly blinking his eyes open. Well, partially open. They remained squinted so tightly he probably couldn’t see any better still. 

“Coffee?” he rumbled in a deep slur. Madara looked around for cameras again. 

“Uh, we don’t serve that here.” 

“...black.” 

Furrowing his brows, Madara repeated himself. “We don’t serve coffee.”

The pale man blinked slowly with a gaze that didn’t seem to really be focused on anything. 

“Extra espresso…” his words trailed off like he meant to continue with something off and yet nothing came. After almost a full minute he managed to close his jaw again with a muted click. Then he merely stood and let his narrowed eyes bore directly in to Madara’s. 

It was the single creepiest thing this shop had ever seen. And considering the varying clientele that was saying something.

For a good hot second Madara contemplated reaching in to his pocket and calling the police. Or maybe the Disease Center. Either one of them would no doubt be very interested in this spontaneous zombie apocalypse. Then the moment passed and he realized this was probably the most interesting thing that was likely to happen to him until the early afternoon crowd began to show up near the very end of his shift. He might as well see how it played out. 

“Would an energy drink do you? We’ve got all sorts of those. Pretty cheap too.” 

“....mn.”

Since he wasn’t very sure what that meant Madara opted for believing he’d just made a sale. Trying to ask questions about flavor and the like would most likely get about as coherent an answer as the ones he’d already gotten so after a moment of going through their inventory in his mind he stepped over to the fridge behind the counter to pick out the highest concentration of caffeine they carried. It also happened to be one of their cheaper brands as well, which was great in case he ended up having to pay for this himself. Did zombies remember how to pick out money from their wallets?

Did zombies even carry their wallets?

“Here. These don’t really taste all that great but it’s got enough of a kick to revive you or whatever.” 

A few seconds after he handed it over he realized his mistake. The oddly still man blinked slowly when Madara cracked the can open for him but finally seemed to understand that there was a liquid in his hand he was meant to drink. His head tilted back to reveal a surprisingly shapely throat that bobbed up and down in a steady rhythm until the entire can was emptied, hung there unmoving for a few seconds more, then his head tilted back down with an honest to god pout on his face. Apparently he’d thought the can was bottomless.

“Right. Feel free to browse or whatever before you come settle up. Register’s over there.” Madara jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “If you pass out try to fall away from the merchandise.” 

“Nnmm.”

“Oookay.” 

Scurrying back to the register was more for the sake of anyone looking in through the windows on their way by than for his own sense of safety. He really didn’t need anyone to call his boss and say they spotted him stalking a customer in his own store. At least he had a comfortable perch from which he could survey the entire floor, set out in a semi circle as it was, giving him a perfect view down each of their short aisles. No matter where this one man circus drifted he would be within eyesight. Madara watched with undisguised fascination while the guy drifted down aisle three, staring hard at a display entirely covered with merchandise for a popular children’s show about brightly colored ponies. The empty drink can remained clutched tightly in one fist.

With drunken steps he wound his way out of that section and in to aisle five. Despite staring directly at their selection of comics for a particular super hero universe Madara got the impression he wasn’t actually seeing any of them. Either he was hopelessly lost inside his own head or he had astrally projected so hard he wouldn’t find himself for another week. Just as the man lifted his hand, perhaps at last to interact with the world around him, the door of the shop jingled violently open to admit a harried looking woman. 

“There you are!” she screeched. Without even sparing a look around the rest of the open space she marched around a display of new releases and clapped a hand down on the zombie man’s shoulder. “I have been looking for you for over an hour, you absolute dick! Do you know how worried we’ve been? Your brother would have taken my damn head off if anything happened to you on my watch!” 

“...nm?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the woman shook her head and finally looked around. The fact that there weren’t any other customers seemed to console her a little bit, probably relieved there weren’t more witnesses to her bad skills at keeping track of one man. When her eyes looked on to Madara he refused to quail under the force of her glare. A part of him sort of wanted to. He spent as much time in the gym as the next self-conscious guy but the look she was giving him promised that she, in fact, was the one with an ability to rip heads. To his absolute shame, he looked away first. But only for long enough for the weight of her gaze to leave him so he could go back to watching this drama unfold in front of him. 

“Come on,” she growled, tugging at the man’s sleeve. “Next time this happens I am tying you to the bed until you fucking learn! Did you even pay for that drink? You are so paying me back for this, I don’t care if it’s only a couple bucks!”

It wasn’t all that surprising how little resistance the man offered to being pulled across the floor and back out on to the street, though Madara did give some thought to whether or not he should be calling the police. Should he be reporting assault over this? It was too bad the owners were too cheap to install any real security other than the one camera pointing straight at the door and the one directly over the till. Some proper footage of what happened probably would have made great evidence if someone came back to question him.  

For several minutes after he was left suddenly alone Madara stared towards the door and wondered if it was possible that he might have hallucinated everything that just happened. Maybe he’d been reading too many of the comics in here. His mother used to warn him when he was little that using his imagination too much would rot out his common sense - but, then again, she was a cantankerous old bitch who kicked him out as soon as he turned eighteen. He’d never put much stock in anything she had to say. And then there were the coins that crazy lady had tossed over the counter on their way by, that was pretty solid evidence that he wasn’t hallucinating. 

Without a live zombie show for entertainment the rest of his shift at the comic shop mostly passed in boredom. Usually he worked the afternoon shifts just for this very reason. The mornings were always dead but he’d had to reschedule an appointment with his doctor three times already and trading shifts today had been the only way he was getting in there without having to wait several more weeks for another open spot. Medical care in their city seriously needed a bigger budget. Desperate to pass the time without resorting to the merchandise he wasn’t supposed to fiddle with on shift, Madara ended up slumped over the front counter doodling on the back of some old receipt paper he found stuffed in to a random drawer. Nearly half the page disappeared under swirls of red ink before he realized that he was drawing a dead, moaning zombie. With a sheepish look around he set the red pen aside and reached for a black one instead. Hopefully that would inspire some less creepy doodles. 

As expected, a couple hours before the end of his shift he finally started seeing some customers, his fellow nerds flocking in to check for new issues of the latest detective comic or merchandise for their favorite anime characters. Madara kept a sharp eye on the ones he didn’t recognize and gave no more thought to the entertaining if odd start to his day. After work he scurried off to the bus stop and barely made it to his long overdue doctor’s appointment before stumbling back on to the bus an hour after that with a bandaid on his arm and several vials of blood less in his body. 

“M’ home,” he called weakly as he shuffled inside the apartment. Something clattered around the corner, followed quickly by the sound of Izuna swearing.

“Did the appointment go well?” His brother’s voice shouted after him on his way down the hall. 

Tossing his jacket through the door of his bedroom, he called back. “Went fine. Had to get some blood pulled. Dumb ass doctor doesn’t think I know my own body enough to tell when I’m having seasonal allergies. He wants to test me for heart disease!” 

“But...those aren’t...anki, that makes no sense!” 

“I know!” Madara rolled his eyes even though the other couldn’t see him. “Apparently being short of breath because of the all the ragweed means I must be on the verge of a heart attack.” 

“Probably got his medical degree out of a cereal box.” 

Tired, a little loopy from having too much blood drawn without eating anything, Madara’s thoughts for the rest of his evening were filled mostly with grumbles about incompetant medical staff and listening to Izuna go on about the latest drama from his apprenticeship. Work was so far from his mind he entirely forgot to mention the strange occurrence from that morning. He went to bed that night thinking only that he was grateful his shifts were back to their usual afternoon schedule tomorrow because he certainly didn’t want to wake up early again, his dreams filled with needles that laughed at him while he sneezed uncontrollably. 

Several days went by with the usual humdrum of the life Madara and his brother had fallen in to. As much as he despised the morning shift, he loved the afternoons with equal fervor. His job at the comic shop didn’t pay much more than a basic living wage but he loved the environment, loved his regular customers, and he especially loved the hefty discount it gave him on all the nerdy merchandise he couldn’t help filling their home with. Things went about as normally as they usually did in his life until the fourth day when Madara looked up from checking out a regular customer to find the next person in line was an actual walking snack. 

Wild hair artfully arranged to somehow look purposefully messy, skin so pale he could be mistaken for an albino, red eyes that Madara would swear could see right down in to his soul, he was already a dreamboat even without taking in the deliciously toned rest of his body. Something about him looked familiar but it was hard to concentrate past the broad shoulders standing straight and tall. 

“Can I - ahem - how can I help you?” Madara fought with his cheeks not to flush bright red and prayed that no one would comment on the massive crack his voice had just done. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be Madara, would you?” the man asked in a deep rumble. “Your coworkers described you to me when I came in here yesterday.”

“I am, yes. Uh...is there something wrong?” 

Shaking his head, the man coughed a little as though feeling uncomfortable. “No, no. I only wanted to come in and thank you for not kicking me out of your store the other day. I was, ah, fairly ill at the time and my behavior was not the best. Several shops had already sent me on my way but you allowed me to stay in one place long enough for my cousin to catch up so I wanted to say thank you for letting me stay somewhere safe. Anything could have happened to me in that state.” 

For a second Madara tried to subtly look the man up and down, trying to determine if he was lying or not. Surely this couldn’t be the same guy? It was only after he mentally added some black streaks under the eyes, hunched the shoulders, and squinted the eyes that he realized it was. This was his zombie customer. 

“You don’t look the same at all!” was the first thing his stupid mouth chose to blurt out. 

“Ah. Thank you, I think.” The man coughed awkwardly again. “I’m told I look fairly awful whenever I work myself in to sleep deprivation.” 

“Oh is that why you were acting so much like a zombie? Wait no! Shit! Sorry, that was rude! Um, shit- gah, I’m not supposed to swear, fuck. Damn it!” Exasperated with his own lack of self control, Madara smacked a hand over his face. Nearby one of his regulars could be heard snickering but glaring them in to silence would have meant removing his hand and facing the hot stranger who’d made him splutter. 

To his eternal relief, no comments were made about his verbal idiocy, although he could definitely hear traces of amusement in the man’s tone when he continued speaking. 

“Yes, unfortunately I have a habit of getting a little too involved in my studies. Exams are coming up so I’ve only been sleeping about two or three hours a night and it, ah, finally caught up to me apparently. I don’t remember much but my cousin tells me I wandered out of her house sometime around six in the morning and she didn’t find me until, er, whenever it was she found me in here.” After scratching at the back of his neck he seemed to jolt himself and then held out the same hand. “I’m Tobirama, by the way.” 

“Madara. But um, you apparently already knew that.” 

They shook hands, at which point Madara realized the other man’s incredible height also came with massive hands that practically engulfed his own. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing as brightly as it felt like he was. 

“So you live around here then?” he asked. Then he wanted to slap himself again because that was probably way too personal of a question. 

“Not really. Well, not yet. I’m staying with my cousin so I can take some courses at the university but my brother is thinking of moving back to town so I’ll probably move back in with him if he does.” 

“Back to town?” Madara perked up. “So you’re from around here originally?” 

Tobirama nodded. “We grew up in the west end.”

“No kidding? Me too.” Squinting, Madara tried to determine whether they might have crossed paths when they were younger. The man did sort of look familiar but age could change a lot about a person and it wasn’t like he’d kept contact with anyone from that end of town. Not after he’d been summarily tossed to the curb. 

His closer interest did not go unnoticed. For a moment he flushed even deeper than he already was, thinking Tobirama might have been offended by his scrutiny. Then his ears were flaming for another reason entirely and he couldn’t even bring himself to be upset about the misunderstanding when the other leaned in just a bit closer with a slow smile. 

“I don’t suppose you’d like to go for coffee sometime?” he asked. “As a thank you, of course.” 

“On one condition,” Madara told him, feeling suddenly bold.

“Do tell.” Tobirama looked even more amused by his request. He leaned farther down to rest his weight on both elbows to patiently await the condition he would supposedly need to meet. 

“If you can describe the premise behind any of the comics in this store then you’ve got yourself a date. I’ve had too many people try and steer me away from ‘childish interests’ and think they can ‘help me grow up’.” 

After breaking up with the fourth person in a row who mocked him for his interests Madara had made a pact with himself to never again date anyone who didn’t accept him for who he was and what he loved. He might be a massive nerd but he’d learned the lesson of self value a long time ago and he wasn’t about to let himself be blinded by a pretty face again. 

To his utter delight, he needn't have worried this time. With a competitive sort of light in his eye Tobirama pointed out half a dozen different comics within eyesight and not only named the main characters but also the basis of the main plot for each of them. What made it all the more impressive was that he mostly chose rather obscure franchises that couldn’t be considered mainstream. Madara was half in love before he was finished describing the third one. Handsome, intelligent enough for university, and apparently in to the same geeky stuff as him? Sign him up. Immediately. 

“Okay, okay, point made!” Throwing up his hands in surrender made Tobirama smile. “You mentioned your exams are coming up so I’m guessing you’ll be busy for the next little while. Why don’t I give you my number and we can go out for coffee to celebrate after you don’t need to study so much?” 

“I would appreciate that a lot,” Tobirama murmured earnestly. 

“School’s obviously important to you if you’ll work yourself in to a zombie state over it,” Madara pointed out. 

He got a grateful look that made his stomach flip flop. Rather than make a fool of himself again he printed off a bit of blank receipt paper and wrote his number down, sliding it across the counter. He expected Tobirama to slip the paper in to his pocket but instead he pulled out a beaten up cell phone and entered the number right there, smiling to himself like he'd won an unexpected treat. 

“I’m sure Hashirama will be thrilled to know I’m finally being more social.”

Madara nearly stopped breathing. All the triumph of having secured a very promising date suddenly drained right out of him as he stared at the man across the counter in horror, several little clues falling in to place at once. Finally he’d figured out why Tobirama looked familiar and it wasn’t because he’d seen him in zombie form. Images of his childhood best friend danced across his memories.

“You’re...you’re Hashirama’s little brother,” he whimpered. “Oh god. Oh god! He’s going to kill me! He’s going to come back to Konoha just to cut all my hair off in a bowl cut to match his!” 

While Tobirama stared at him with a mixture of horror and amusement Madara decided that as long as he got that date first he didn’t much care how he died. One conversation - and one look at those well defined biceps - was all he’d needed to know that Tobirama would be well worth it.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

April 18: Rocky IV

(previous notes: Rocky III)

The Cold War one! I was in high school when this came out, and it seems like the Rocky movie that has most endured in pop culture for people my age, and even younger maybe? I haven't seen it in a very, very long time so I'm wondering if the Rocky-versus-All-Of-Communism logline is going to seem like a pathetically irrelevant conflict. Or, frankly, if that sentiment is going to sound like the dipshits that attacked the US Capitol just a few short months ago. It's definitely going to feel like just a slight twist on a formula that's been working, right? Let's see…

Totally different intro from the rest of the series, and surprisingly the recap of the end of the last movie also includes the hit single from the last movie. But also there is a thing about an American-flag glove and a Soviet-flag glove punching each other into an explosion.

They were so happy with the chummy chit-chat at the end of Rocky III that they just gratuitously include that whole scene here. It is a cheap way to eat up a couple of minutes.

Oh My God. The first actual new scene in this movie serves the important purpose of documenting for all time how dazzlingly technically advanced things were in 1985. For Paulie's birthday party, he gets a ROBOT! It talks… ROBOT-style! Paulie is whelmed by how robot-y it is.

"Open your prize," Rocky tells her when asking Adrian to open her PRESENT. Why did he say "prize".

MEANWHILE IN SOVIET UNION… They do a quick montage that only vaguely suggests something about a boxer and the USSR.

Apollo Creed spots an innocuous news story about Russian boxer Ivan Drago coming to America to participate in sportsmanlike fighting. AC is PISSED! A Russian being competitive, oh hell no.

At least Drago has a female companion so there will be an actual female character who isn't played by Talia Shire.

"Commies Are Evil" isn't the only theme of this movie; there's also "The Marvels of Technology". Drago's unmatched strength is demonstrated for the press in a very electricity-filled gym. And the robot has been in three scenes already in the first fifteen minutes! Oh I hope they aren't going to get me to fall in love with Robot Character only to have it lose in a boxing match to The Commies.

Big press conference to announce that AC will be fighting Drago in an exhibition match. AC is all cocky and Drago literally says nothing the whole scene. He is characterized as perhaps yet another robot character. But his wife and some other Russian guy do all the talking, and if they're supposed to seem like the Bad Guy, I don't see it. They are perfectly diplomatic and AC is just acting like a tool.

0:23:23 - I remember this scene, we all do, oh yes we do. The Fight That Does Not Go So Well. It starts with a super flashy intro; they're at the venue in Vegas and there are showgirls and pretend fighter planes and Actual James Brown singing this movie's legit hit single, "Living in America", singing it all At The Russians as AC descends in front of a monster thing in spangly Uncle Sam garb. AC actually dances alongside James Brown and around Drago. What they're doing, these diabolical filmmakers, is going to make what happens next sting the audience pretty bad.

Right before the fight, Drago's first line is "you vill lose". Monotone. Robotic. Technology! #1985

Drago beats him to actual death, he twitches on the floor as Drago robotically says things like "I will not be defeated". It is a bummer, this turn of events.

New press conference. Rocky is going to fight Drago. "No money. It's not about the money." That's weird, addressing money in this press conference. They're not really addressing the monumental fact that Rocky is sitting next to the guy that killed Apollo Creed.

This time, the Soviets are less diplomatic. Rocky barely says anything, but the old Russian dude calls him little and weak. They have a good point, though, about how Drago gets death threats in the US on account of he is a killer of an American hero, even though the wife also says he is not a killer. But that's why the fight will be in Russia.

New montage with a very 80s pop song. Worth noting that we have not heard any of the famous music from the first movie. This montage also looks very 80s, with it's flashbacks using a lot of different, highly techologically sophisticated frame rates.

0:42:41 - Adrian eye-close sighting! Thank you so much for that, it is what we all want and only you, Rocky-movie, can provide it.

Flashbacks to all the other movies. He is thinking about it all as he anticipates The Hell Of Going To Russia. Remember when he pointed to the jacket in the window that one time? Rocky does. Remember when he looked at his statue? Rocky does. He even somehow remembers Adrian closing her eyes. This is a music video with mostly recycled footage from the whole series.

0:48:35 - Another "modern" pop song, I think it's the band called Survivor again. Were we supposed to love all the catchy tunes and go out and buy the soundtrack? We only remember the James Brown one in 2021.

It is snowy in Russia ha ha! Paulie has joined him on the trip because he is part of Rocky's staff, but he doesn't like how cold it is ha ha.

Rocky's quarters consist of a log cabin dripping with icicles at the foot of some really pretty mountains. I play Geoguessr a lot and I don't ever see pretty mountains like that in Russia, but they must have them, right?

Rocky has been assigned minders. He is told they will go wherever he goes. I'm pretty sure that's not an unfair characterization.

He's got Apollo's trainer guy there with him, but Rocky makes it clear that he just has to do this training stuff on his own or whatever blah blah.

Now a montage going back and forth between Drago training and Rocky just running through the snow-covered countryside. ON HIS OWN. Plus also sawing wood and displacing boulders on his own. Oh and being the dog in a dogsled pulling Paulie! Locals look at Rocky because, look, a man doing something, that's new and confusing. Drago has electric machines. Rocky fells trees! Drago is inside comfortable facilities. Rocky is growing his beard out! The minders observe it all. The minders observe it all.

There is a subplot about how Adrian is dealing with this whole thing. She had been unconfident earlier, and did not join Rocky in USSR. But surprise, she is now there in Russia suddenly because love! Rocky continues to train, not so alone-y now and with a new rock song with more major chords. That is Drago's weakness! Communism hates major triads.

Gotta have inspired running, right? This time Rocky runs up a snowy mountain, running so hard that the minders can't keep up! At the peak he does his trademark cheer howl in that pretty place… but he is saying "DRAGO!!!!!!!!!"

Just like that, we're at the big fight. This time it's in Russia and it's mostly uniformed soldiers in the crowd.

Ugh. Quick cut to Rocky's kid watching at home on TV with friends. He says "that's my dad" and one of them replies "what do you think we are, nerds?" Ladies and gentlemen, the wit of Mr. Stallone: Screenwriter.

Do we need to talk about Drago's hair? He has very styled hair. I think it looks like Vanilla Ice hair. Is that a strange choice? I don't know how to think about hair, I guess.

"I must break you". That's what Drago says to Rocky right before they fight. I remember it. It is an above average dialogue choice compared with other Rocky-movie-right-before-the-fight dialogue choices.

Drago punches Rocky a lot, and the commentators make sure we know that Rocky might lose and they may even have to stop the fight. But also, yes, it does just look like Rocky is taking a lot of rough beating.

"He's not human. He's a piece of iron." So speaks Drago in unbecoming monotone. I don't know what that means.

It's a montage now, an appealingly edited summary of a whole bunch of rounds. The two boxers are both doing well and maybe not doing well, both. Montage.

I guess I'm experiencing what I remember noticing back when I first saw this in the 80s, which is that they really did convince us that Drago was indestructible, and now we're seeing him be damaged and it's kind of satisfying.

1:21:15 - Whoa, I forgot about this. The Soviet Diplomat Man is giving Drago a hard time about not winning yet, and Drago lifts him up violently by the neck and says something about I Will Win For Me, For Me. It's a little like we're supposed to think Drago is increasingly inspired by American Freedom, maybe? But it won't help him if he's still the bad guy in a Rocky movie.

This fight is taking a long time. A lot of this movie's running time is being consumed by this fight.

Eventually Rocky wins, because it turns out that he is just better because Freedom, and it's that same tiresome "Rocky-won" music, maybe arranged a little differently.

What does he say in the mic at the end? What is his message? "During this fight, I seen a lot of changing…" he says that during this fight, like during the actual boxing match, they all grew to appreciate each other. And it's better to do boxing than do nuclear annihilations. The whole crowd cheers for Rocky! Even the important Soviet Boss Men, startling even themselves with their abrupt adoration of The Wise American. Then when he says Merry Christmas Kid to his kid at home, well this whole entire crowd clearly thinks Rocky is better than their whole entire country. We don't see Drago any more. We don't know if he, too, is moved by Rocky's profound monologue. And we never find out what Drago and Robot Character think of each other.

So that's it, that's the end of Rocky IV. I get why it fires people up in a simple way, but I don’t think it's good. It totally assumes you'll understand that Rocky wins because the USSR just kind of sucks. Or you won't care that it's improbable that Rocky wins because it's just so gratifying to see Drago falter. Which they achieve by making him look very perfect, and having no charming characteristics.

It's true, though, how cocky we were about technology in the mid-80s.

(next: Rocky V)

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Share a Lair 04 || Keep Char Distracted

Jasper and Henry were chatting about NYE plans whenever Max was TRYING to distract his mind from this past week’s thoughts of Charlotte and work on his latest invention. Sure - he selected to do so in the living room, and that was no place for science experiments… well… technically ANY place was a place for science experiments. But, he was still annoyed to hear their voices, despite the fact that he had not heard a single word that either of them were saying. Until one of them said, “What’ll we do about Charlotte?” He hated that just the mere mention of her name demanded his attention, but there he was, unintentionally eavesdropping.

“She probably won’t want to, anyway,” Henry said. “Not really her thang."

"Yeah, but… she’ll still wanna be included. What if she says YES, and we have to spend your first solo NYE hearing her talk about how bad every idea is! Henry… it’s a party BOAT! Drunk young people on a boat, in the middle of the water, specifically to avoid the police…”

“When you’re right, you’re right. Maybe we can get her a distraction?” Henry suggested. “Like, get somebody else to hang out with her for New Year’s Eve and let her be their party pooper!” And because they were sure he wasn’t listening at all, then he heard both of them cheer, “MAX!"

He looked up as they headed over and he sighed. "Max, buddy, we need a HUGE favor and I will repay you in - doing whatever you say about the lair for the entire month of January!” Henry offered. Fool. Max would’ve did this for free. But there was no need to make himself appear too available.

“Whatever it is, I’m not remotely interested,” Max lied. No other word for it. He just straight up lied about it right to those boys’ faces.

“Hear us out, first,” Jasper said.

“Sounded like you two wanna be alone for New Year’s Eve, so you want me to cart Charlotte around so you won’t have to man up and admit that you don’t want her around,” Max said.

“I know it might sound bad, but it’s just that this is going to be a potentially excellent night, and as much as we both love Charlotte, she’s not really one to overlook potential danger, not even at the expense of potential excellence!”

“And I’m not some scapegoat. Just tell her you want a nice evening with your boyfriend and be done with it.”

“My what?” Henry asked. Max walked away, with his experiment in hand, hiding a smirk. Henry gave chase, “Listen! Dude… I KNOW Char’s not fun and she’s kind of a super nerd and is pretty uptight.”

“You’re really selling her here, Hen,” Max said, deadpan.

“Two months!” Henry said. “January AND February.”

“You agree to make sure she’s not the one doing the chores in the community space and I’ll consider it,” Max said. Henry winced. Max shrugged and kept walking.

Jasper looked desperately at Henry, clasping his hands together, as though in prayer. “Fine! But, just so you know, she loves stuff like that. Cleaning up and being helpful and stuff. You’re taking away her potential joy by forcing my hand.”

“I’m sure,” Max said, rolling his eyes. “And just so you know… Charlotte’s not a nerd. You’re way more of a nerd than she is.” Max gave him a playful double slap on the cheek and Henry gasped at the suggestion.

“How do you figure?”

“I mean… Look at her and look at you,” Max said. Jasper looked like he was actually considering this. Max was the smartest man he had ever met, with the exception of Schwoz and to be honest, Jasper wasn’t actually smart enough to fully determine which of the two of them WAS the smarter man. Henry laughed uncomfortably and looked at Jasper, awaiting some type of backup in this conversation. Max expounded. “Okay, I get that she’s a straight A student, makes academic lists, spends her time working instead of having fun, BUT - she’s super hot, her hair is goals, has an amazing fashion sense, can skillfully do cool shit like beat everybody’s ass in video games and play musical instruments - SHE was in a band, Henry. Were YOU ever in a band?”

“What did you… have to like… write a report on her?” Henry asked, uncomfortably, laughing.

Jasper answered, “He WASN’T in a band! But I was!”

“JASPER is less of a nerd than you,” Max added, to twist the knife. He really didn’t like it whenever Henry said negative stuff about Charlotte. He actually agreed that Charlotte was a nerd… But, he also knew that he could make this argument in her favor, and just because she was a nerd didn’t mean that Henry had to keep repeating it out loud.

Henry gasped and Jasper nodded, very pleased, until Henry said, “Jasper had social media accounts for BUCKET collections AND a Bucketeer podcast!”

“Jasper ALSO had a podcast? Man, Henry, what do YOU bring to the cool kids’ table when you aren’t in uniform?”

“Wha… Well… I bring not being an uptight, straight A student or someone who wears belly shirts or collects buckets…”

“HEY!” Jasper said and folded his arms.

“What’s wrong with belly shirts?” Max asked.

“Yeah, what is?” Jasper insisted, now, clearly in Max’s corner. Truthfully, Max could wear a belly shirt. Lord knows he had the abs for them… But he never would, because once again, he agreed with Henry that they were pretty lame, but once again, he wasn’t gonna give Henry the satisfaction. This was a battle, of sorts. Over Charlotte’s honor and good name. Max didn’t care what the facts were, as long as he won it.

Henry shook his head. “I’m just… Jasper. Come on. You think I’M the nerdiest in our trio? It’s obviously Charlotte, and if it’s not… I mean… It CAN’T be ME. I’m Kid Danger, for crying out loud.”

Jasper rolled his eyes, looked at Max and Max knew this was about to be sweet satisfaction. “I once had a birthday party that every kid in Swellview showed up to because Captain Man stopped in. Henry had a party a few years later that Piper couldn’t convince her cool friends to show up at, because they knew that it was Henry’s, even with her public figure status and vouching for him.” Max laughed. Henry stammered. Jasper wasn’t done. “Henry had the same pick up line for years - never worked. Two of his girlfriends left him to go to a reality show, meanwhile, I had an obsessive girl who had to be pushed out of a window to stay away from me.”

“I understand that,” Max said. “Mine used to sleep outside of my house. Well, it’s clear to me who’s the nerdiest nerd of your circle.” Jasper looked worried for a moment, so Max reassured him, “It’s Henry, Dude.” Jasper fist pumped.

Henry and he began to argue about their accomplishments versus failures, “Captain Man only showed up because I got him to! Use your brain, Man.”

“I had my own hero day because I can be brave WITHOUT a sidekick suit. You’re unofficially the Playground Pooper!”

“You were the one that was ACTUALLY considered bizarre enough to BE the Playground Pooper!” Max smirked and continued on his way out of the room.

“Hey! You never said that you agreed to distract her!” Henry said.

Max turned around and smiled at him, “Oh, right. Yeah, you had me at “get somebody else to hang out with her for New Year’s Eve and let her be their party pooper.” It slowly dawned on Henry that Max had heard their entire conversation and played him for a fool. Why would someone do this? Like he could read his mind, Max said, “Charlotte deserves better friends.”

Jasper gasped. “I would fight a shark for Char! I just… don’t want her out there with us for New Year’s Eve.” Max rolled his eyes. “Is… Is Henry still the nerdiest, or was that ALL a game?”

“He definitely is. I mean, you strike me as a bisexual individual. Look at their curve records. Compare the quality of people that have turned him down or been interested in him verses hers.”

“What does THAT have to do with…”

“Hot people dig hot people,” Max said.

“Way more hot people have liked and been turned down by Charlotte!” Jasper said with realization.

“Joss Moss said that I was cute. That cancels out like… HALF of Charlotte’s list! Joss Moss is a wealthy socialite and the daughter of an infamous mob boss.” Henry fussed, flustered.

“I say that Charlotte’s cute,” Max said and folded his arms. “I’m a global superhero.”

“That wins,” Jasper whispered, very impressed with how hot Max was, especially right now, for some reason. Finally, Henry conceded and Max left the room. He really had to prep if he was gonna be hanging out with Charlotte tonight!

.

Charlotte came into the lair through the front entrance. Max had been a little less unbearable this week, so she decided to test it out and if she ran into a problem, she’d simply never come back to this house, ever again. She laughed. J/K, she thought. Her boys were here. Whenever she got inside, it was pretty quiet. She expected Henry and Jasper to be in the common area, but maybe they were in the tower. Ugh. Now, she’d have to walk to the tower…

“Hey!” Max cheered, suddenly and when she heard his voice, she turned to say it back, but she lost her ability to speak or move. He smiled brightly, with this look of accomplishment and while she realized that she probably had something to do with that; her body had nothing. “SO, long story short, you’re stuck with me tonight and Henry and Jasper are at the Man Cave getting ready to go to some kind of NYE thing.”

She scoffed, “WHAT? They let me drive all the way here and just stuck me with you???” It came out more harsh than she expected, and sounded like she was attacking him, when she meant for it to be directed at the boys. His smile was less confident, now and his eyebrows looked a little… bothered. “I mean… I’m sure that you have much better things to do than have to pretend to entertain me tonight.”

He perked up again and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t have to pretend. You’ll be entertained. There’s a party in Metroburg or one in Hiddenville, Lady’s Choice.”

“Ummm… What are the pros and cons of each?” she asked. He hoped she’d loosen up before they hit any party.

“Pros are they’re parties. Cons are they’re not gonna abandon you to a guy that you barely know and hardly like?” He said, huffing a laugh.

“Hurtful,” she said.

“Well, we’re even, then.”

“Metroburg is full of open superpowers and probably has the greatest technology in daily life… But, I probably need to visit there on a day trip, not the night of a party, whenever people are going to be drinking. Drinking and DRIVING is bad enough. Drinking and suping?”

“OH MY GOD!” Max cried out to the sky, exasperated. “Let’s just go to Hiddenville! That’s where my friends will be, anyway.”

“Well… Why were you considering Metroburg, then?”

“Because that’s where the supes are and where I was born.”

“Well, do you want to go ahead and go there instead?” He was starting to see why her friends might want to ditch her on a party night. She was very preoccupied with making the right decision, when sometimes, all it took was just making ANY decision.

“Let’s go to Hiddenville,” he said, putting his foot down. She held up a finger and pulled out her party gumball dispenser. Was she supposed to have it? No. Did she deserve it, therefore take it? Well, she’d just pulled it out, so what does that tell you? She blew a bubble and transformed into a Black party dress, high heeled boots and a sparkly headband with the new year at the top of it. Even her flawless makeup had been designed into the gumball and she looked like… she was meant to be on his arm tonight. He was far more casual - in all black with a shirt, an over shirt, his jacket and a tight pair of pants with heavy boots. But… they matched… WELL! She held her hands out, a little bit self conscious and said, “This is fine for your party, right? I can’t tell if I’m overdressed or you just don’t give a shit, either way because any and everything looks good on you…” Her eyes widened at this unconscious admission.

“We look awesome,” he said, and pointed two fingers at the door to open it and used his other hand to make sure he was powering things down in the house.

[cartoon-wave]

translated villainous pilot script

hello i took the time to translate the villanos pilot, my native tongue is spanish so forgive the grammar and if anything sounds weird its my fault heh... If anyone is adding subtitles to the spanish video feel free to take this script, since i dont know how to add subtitles to videos myself. 

also this wont make sense unless you are watching the video so, go look for it first.

“THE ATROCIOUS DAWN”

___________________________________________

SUNBLAST: Did you have enough, villainess? PENUMBRA: Let me explain- SUNBLAST: Get out! The only reason you aren't in prison right now is because I enjoy defeating you.

PENUMBRA: Disgusting SunBlast and his idiot fans. I'd give anything just for him to leave me-*Screens flickering*... alone?

TV: Black Hat here- Are you a villain in distress? Evil is our business and business is good-

BH: Problems with heroes?

_________________________________

HERO #2: Admit it Flug you're a failure. You should rename yourself "DR. FAILURE". It doesn’t matter how many times you try.

Flug: Shut up! You! GOLDIE (he says “Doradito” i believe)

FLUG: Jefecito chulo! (Boss)

BH: Well, well, well, that was a... Wonderful job Doctor

FLUG: (sobbing) Ay híjole, I don't know what to say Boss... thank you very much

BH: And another thing... MAYDAY. MAYDAY.MAYDAY. (flug's alarm clock beeps)

FLUG: At least it was just a dream and not the recurrent nightmares i have

FLUG: Okay, time to execute the morning routine FLUG: STEP 1. Wake everyone up.

5.0.5.: (Snores)

FLUG: Good morning Pachoncito (Fluffy) FLUG: Don't forget to NOT clean Black Hat's office again or he'll make you look at your own guts, again.

(5.0.5. salutes)

FLUG: What's next on the list? UGH.

(Demencia laughs)

Hero #3 idk his name: Speak again villain, what's your evil plan!

FLUG: Breakfast

Hero #3: Breakfast? Hey that doesn't sound very evil, what's on the menu- (screams) 

Hero #3: that wasn't breakfast

Demencia: (laughs hysterically while Flug says good morning to her)

FLUG: okay, let's do something easier today. Just go change clothes.

DEMENCIA: Never! Pajamas forever! 

FLUG: Come here you madwoman! Rules can't be bent as if they were- MY BACK (yelps) this. is. hurting. me. a. lot. (high pitch scared sound when he sees BH)      G-good morning Boss, how may I be of your service?

BH: (deep distorted voice) A client of name Penumbra made a call to our organization seeking for help to destroy a problematic hero.

FLUG: What and the poor thing can't do it on her own?

PENUMBRA: (Coughs)

FLUG: Ay la llorona!*

PENUMBRA: I'm not a crybaby! It's just that he can't be reasoned with! He's always bothering me when I try to cover up the sun so it doesn't burn me alive.

FLUG: Don't worry madame. I always have a backup plan for nuisances like that. 

FLUG: I'm not gonna fail you Boss.

BH: I expect that Dr. BH: For your own good. ___________________________

DEMENCIA: Look at him... he's so vile. So evil. Owww, remind me why I'm leaving this cutie alone

FLUG: Because we are in a mission. And he's not alone, he's with Penumbra.

DEMENCIA: (grunts)

FLUG: If you break another phone again I won't be giving you another one, not one more!

(SIGN READS: Welcome to ATRENO CITY "Where sun always shine bright")

FLUG: Yeah yeah he looks strong, but this should be easy if you can fully adhere to my plan.

DEMENCIA: We don't need a dumb plan. We just need to kick his super

ass- To hell with it! I'll do it myself. Where is he?!

FLUG: I'll explain it to you Demencia. To find a hero you need to get

inside his head, literally.

COP: Wait a moment... You can only park on the statue on Sundays!

FLUG: Alright. Now that we successfully infiltrated in the city, It's

time to execute MY plan to defeat SunBlast. Your attention, please.

FLUG: FIRST, I'm gonna track his position. SECOND, 5.0.5. is gonna

cover me. THIRD, 'Dumbmencia'... You can help by not getting in the

way.

FLUG: Follow the plan and remember! You must TAKE him by surprise,

don't let it be like the last time when- (sound of explosion) What was

that?

DEMENCIA: Where are you Captain Sunburn? Where are you coward? Come and

face me!

FLUG: DAUGHTER OF A LIZARD (a play on 'Son of a b*tch') WHAT DID I JUST

TELL YOU?! STAY STILL

DEMENCIA: There you are

SUNBLAST: A nerd? I. Hate. NERDS

DEMENCIA: haha! the sun is going DOWN

FLUG: Demencia! You are ruining my evil plan.

SUNBLAST: You're a villain on top of a nerd?

FLUG: Great, now we have to jump to the 30th step of my plan. (Pulls

ray) The Chillator. Fluffy, cover me. (5.0.5 hugs him) I didn't mean I wanted a bear hug!

DEMENCIA: huh? (falls down) This changes nothing you coward!

(the next part is just inaudible grunts and their asses getting kicked)

FLUG: Team blackhat was defeated again! (This is a pokemon reference

since Flug's spanish voice actor dubbed James in the pokemon anime)

____________________________________

FLUG: HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT THIS? YOU. HAVE. TO. FOLLOW. MY. PLAN.

DEMENCIA: Your plan sucks

(alert message reads: Intruder detected -warning-)

FLUG: Oh my god he's coming here and I don't have a plan (scribbles)

no! not this! not this either-

DEMENCIA: Leave him to me- I don't need my left side- I just need my love for my Black Hat

COP: You guys forgot your ticket

SUNBLAST: YES, lead me to her.

FLUG: 5.0.5. What did you do?! Now he's following us to the island. If Black Hat finds out, he's gonna slap our hands-

BH: I see you are on your way back. Then, you must have FINISHED.

FLUG: Y-yes Sir Black Hat.. Everything's going according to the plan

PENUMBRA: Did you catch him?

FLUG: Yeah we did, fell straight into our trap, we're even going to do a special delivery so you can see his defeat in person

BH: I'm impatient.

FLUG: We're on our way (screams)

DEMENCIA: She's even uglier in person

FLUG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. Aren't you seeing this, we're done

for! And all because YOU can't follow step by step the precious plan I

made with so much effort. AND NOW THERE IS NO PRECIOUS PLAN LEFT. AND

SUNBLAST IS NOW FOLLOWING US TO BLACKHAT ISLAND. WHERE LORD BLACK HAT IS EXPECTING US TO DO A WRESTLING MOVE ON HIM THE WAY ONLY US KNOW HOW TO... Do?

FLUG: Now there IS a nice plan ___________________________________

SUNBLAST: Where is she? I know she hired you to get rid of me.

FLUG: SunBlast, he he he. I was expecting you to come. Oof, Fluffy,

you're too heavy, get down!! please (wheeze)

SUNBLAST: Nobody knew of me before coming to ATRINO, you think I'm

going to lose my popularity just because Penumbra and a bunch of nerds

are afraid of getting a tan? Hah! I'm gonna get rid of her and the lot

of you. NERDS

FLUG: Don't you say. Because I've been looking to destroy you all day,

thinking about plans and making my team follow it. But I thought they

weren't paying attention, then I realized that it was me who needed to

pay attention to them. Fluffy! Cover him.

SUNBLAST: Get off me chubby!

SUNBLAST: Ah, it's her again, so what? She couldn't keep up with me

last time, what's the difference?

FLUG: Not to be nosy, but he said Penumbra and Black Hat made a cute couple.

(Demencia growls)

SUNBLAST: Whats wrong with you?! crazy woman! SUNBLAST: I'm still stronger, shorties!

FLUG: Is that so? (Pulls lever that reads: Nuisance Remover) FLUG: Aw you poor thing

PENUMBRA: Impressing! Marvelous!

FLUG: A mini-hero defeated. For lady Penumbra.

PENUMBRA: Finally. You and me are going to have a long conversation.

SUNBLAST: No... Noooo

PENUMBRA: Thank you Mister Black Hat. Your team made an excellent job.

Now I can use SunBlast's power to create a cure for my skin condition.

How can I repay your marvelous services?

BH: It was a pleasure to make a deal with you Lady Penumbra.(Deep

distorted voice) Now get out.

PENUMBRA: B-bye... Goodbye!

BH: You made a job that was exceptionally... MEDIOCRE. BH: HOW DARE YOU BRING A PATHETIC HERO TO MY DOMAINS. YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T REALIZE? YOU TAKE ME FOR AN IDIOT?

DEMENCIA: Anddd... what is the plan, Doc?

FLUG:... Run.

_____________________________

PENUMBRA: And that is the reason why I needed to create the machine

(sigh) See, you're a good listener... Sunblast? Sunblast! Aw, he's

asleep.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Free! S3

I will never get tired of Makoto offering Haru a hand out of the water

OMG I guess some things do change Makoto’s been dunked and I kinda love it

“I’m never gonna be a normal person” wow who is this this Goth Diet Haru

I love the phrase “hot minute” actually thank u for ur teen slang Asahi

Offering people his lecture notes and texting back right away will anyone ever be as good as Makoto? Trick question no

“I’m still young and innocent” “That’s a weird thing to say” I love that Haru’s meeting a bunch of people who aren’t used to his antics

This flashback seems to indicate that Haru felt Some Kinda Way about Ikuya which is weird because they look almost the same

“Don’t worry too much about the family” LMAO Sosuke has received a blessing from his cousin to follow Rin to Australia 

“Just inferior copies of Ikuya” that’d be more meaningful if Ikuya had done anything other than stare broodingly

It’s telling that the Iwatobi team is dressed like the Wiggles in this outro

All this outro really told me is that they aren’t really that good at differentiating main character design

“We have to try not to spoil them too much” I approve of Ikuya’s brother and his co-parenting buddy

“I’m not going to move ever again,” said Asahi, with the full confidence of a twelve-year-old boy who knows absolutely nothing about anything

Okay but for real Ikuya and Haru straight up look like siblings this weird rivalry energy on top of that fact is a little bit Much

[Rose and Rosie voice] It’ll never work out their hair is the same colour  

“Is Haru the guy who was all dressed up and riding a camel in the recruiting video we saw?” UNBELIEVABLE their Arabian Nights outro from S1 was actually their recruitment video Iwatobi do u take constructive criticism

“I’ll even be good enough to compete against you” how many rivals does one young man really need my god

Hey Trenchcoat Man maybe introduce yourself before telling these teens how to live their lives

Dude you’re so controlling trying to prevent Ikuya from seeing his friends

Ahhhhh I love Haru being in touch with his emotions and apologizing to Ikuya tbh I give Makoto and Rin a lot of the credit for his ability to communicate lmao 

“I’d prefer you didn’t keep him too long” listen I get where you might be coming from since Haru hurt Ikuya’s feelings but also stop that

“Thought I’d give you a wake-up call” I really don’t like the vibe of Hiyori

“Japanese guy! Friend of yours, maybe?” An accurate representation of what it’s like to hang out with white people lmao

There’s a different vibe from a teenager who giggles about swimmers’ muscles to an adult swim coach who is coaching swimming at a university giggling about swimmers’ muscles put that away Mikhail

Hiyori gives me the straight up heebie jeebies every time he opens his mouth

I can’t read Japanese but I have to assume Rin was gonna call Haru and reminisce about their bed sharing night lmao

Natsuya is some kinda Swimming Capitalist Nomad I’m not mad about it

“How many of these dreams do you have?” that’s valid lmao Rin has #calledout for being a rival slut

“His face told me that what matters most to him is not here” I can’t tell if this is a reference to Ikuya or to Natsuya’s white-haired rival-friend-boyfriend-probably

You know what, in the context of this show: Boyfriend 

“Hey, calm down. Listen, Archerfish--” HARU PLS

I don’t know Misae but the fact she calls her boyfriend Archerfish has already won me over

Hiyori would you fucking stop interfering this isn’t fair to Ikuya

“Ikuya’s too busy to waste his time reminiscing on childish things” well that should be Ikuya’s decision shouldn’t it like not 2 get 2 real but this is all the markers of an abusive relationship if someone does this to you please tell someone

God this stubbly weird man and his ominous advice STILL without any introduction 

“I’m getting sick of hearing you speak for Ikuya like you’re his damn boss” ME TOO ASAHI

YOU CANNOT DECIDE WHO IKUYA’S FRIENDS ARE HIYORI YOU ABSOLUTE SHITPRETZEL 

HA Ikuya knows you’ve been giving the boys the runaround fuckweasel

“If I swim with Tono, maybe it’ll help me understand him” Makoto coming after jerks with his best weapon: empathy <3

“People you swim with all seem to end up suffering, don’t they” LISTEN YOU ASSBANANA IT’S NOT HARU’S FAULT THAT PEOPLE GET OBSESSED WITH HIM HE’S JUST A GOOD SWIMMER

Omg I enjoy the drama of Sosuke interacting with the one (1) person in Japan who has seen Rin lately 

“I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed there isn’t a single pudgy person here” like I know this is probably gonna be a running gag for their opposite body preferences but it’s also a self-burn for the creators of this show only drawing different scales of one body type

I really do love that Rei is swim team captain now my boy has come so far

Oh Romio is there anyone in this swim universe that doesn’t have some kind of Traumatizing Swim Experience 

“Think about what your reason for jumping in is” Sosuke’s advice sounds like beautiful nonsense I don’t know how that’s supposed to help him concentrate on start times

Lmao I love this Overbearing Friend Gesture of Shizuru and Nagisa putting seaweed on Romio and Rei’s plates without asking kjhfkghfghfk

“Actually, if you don’t mind, we have a proposition” $500 says that Nagisa and Rei are about to propose a relay race

Update from 8 minutes later: Someone owes me $500

“Can you tell how proud I am?” Natsuya is such a good big brother <3

 Hahahaha “a guy he wants to swim with again some day” Natsuya is also a good wingman for Rin lmao

Based on his inner monologue Sosuke should also be a swimming coach except in the vein of Cryptic Trench Coat Stubble Man who just offers random unsolicited advice to any teenage swimmer he passes by in the street 

“I’m so proud of you” jgjhgjhg Shizuru I love you and your tears for Romio

What kind of child welfare laws are there in Japan that Hiyori’s parents were allowed to just leave him alone in the park

“When I saw [Haru] again, the weakness I thought I left behind came flooding back to me” the moral of this story is that competitive swimming makes you gay

Ikuya used to be fun and sweet lmao what made you so broody my dude

Lmao @ Hiyori being mad that Ikuya thinks of Haru as his Prince Eric instead of him 

Wow I love Nao being a guiding force for this group of nerds

“I’m not hearting anything for you” Asahi understands Stranger Danger

It took Ryuji a solid six eps to even get a name u’d expect him to have a more important character connection than Rin’s Swim Coach’s Rival

“Then you should start swimming other stuff” I Love Misaki, Adopted Child of Haru and Makoto 

Well this wistful playground vibe has taken a strange turn

“It’s none of your damn business okay!!” TONO JUST GOT DUMPED HA

KJGHKJGH THE RAGE IN HARU’S VOICE ABOUT THE MACKEREL

Ryuji: He can just buy me dinner or something. I’m not picky. As long as it’s not mackerel

Haru [through gritted teeth]: I’m ready when you are

AH I LOVE KISUMI AND ASAHI BABYSITTING TSUKUSHI

“After all we’ve been through, why does it have to be like this?” U MADE IT LIKE THIS HIYORI

HAHAHAHAH Makoto and Ryuji had a standoff of wills and Ryuji lost

“Maybe it’s time for you to approach things more seriously” Nao has declared it’s time to stop sowing your wild oats and settle down Natsuya

Kazuma only shows up to remind Sosuke he is free to run away to swim whenever

“Hope you’re well” “Hey relax I’m not your dad” [Natsuya immediately begins acting like their dad]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH GO HARU LEADING HIS CATEGORY

“I don’t think he’s all that bad of a guy” that’s Stockholm Syndrome Ikuya

I’m glad Ikuya is finally fucking having a meaningful conversation with his friends

“In the water I’m alone. No one’s gonna save me” Get therapy Ikuya!!!

Wow Haru joining a race purely to have an Emotional Confrontation with Ikuya is some kinda growth I’m just not sure what exactly

“That guy’s the only one anyone ever talks about” to be fair if your sample size is Iwatobi swimmers they are all a little in love with him

“That’s our BOYYYYYYYYYY” Aw Asahi <3 

Ghjkghk I love Makoto teasing Haru for being Ikuya’s hero

“Oh, you’re wise now?” AWWWW Ikuya is fun again good for him

 I know that Ikuya reaching out in friendship to Hiyori is supposed to be a sign of emotional security but I haven’t forgiven him for the way he’s manipulated Ikuya!!! Ur a seawitch not a Prince Eric!!! >:((((

I’m super thrown about them going straight from the qualifiers to the next race what will the last four episodes of this season be about

“I’ve been giving myself pep talks in the mirror. ‘I am a genius. I am a genius.’” HAHAHAHA I LIKE FUN IKUYA

“Looks like you beat me” “Just in free” Haru has released Ikuya into the universe for Hiyori and I don’t like it (for Ikuya’s sake) but that’s how it be I guess

How many siblings are there in the Mikoshiba family lmao there’s a new one every season 

“But gender doesn’t mean anything in a competition” I like u Lady Mikoshiba

“You mean you were Russian this whole time??” this is a lot to digest

I LOVE RIN’S PUDGY CAT STEVE LOL IS IT THE SAME IN JAPANESE

“The water likes you. I can tell” ALBERT PLS, Haru is already FULL-UP on homoerotic swim relationships

It’s killing me that they keep cutting to Makoto like Haru’s cheating on him though

Not to undermine the subplot of these last three episodes but hasn’t Haru... lost races before hgkjhgk

“I thought something soft and cute would help balance out that scary face of yours” omg STOP this cuteness 

Gghkhgk these flashbacks and Rin crying over Sosuke’s surgery are SO cute I never thought I would feel so proud of Rin way back in S1 he’s grown so much!!

Makoto being surrounded by ladybugs and butterflies like a wholeass Disney Prince

WHY are ALL of these swimming weirdos SOMEONE’S UNCLE

“You’re still as weird as ever, Haru’s the exact same way” I should start tracking how long in a conversation it takes characters to bring up Haru

Gnjghkjhg Makoto gets through to Haru in 0.5 seconds after two weeks of him ignoring his own coach. The power of fish metaphors and Love™

Kinda seems like they are setting it up like Makoto will also get to travel the world for swimming and let me say... I’m not mad about it

Update from like 2 minutes later: I WAS RIGHT

“That’s the evil king who wanted the magic lamp” the Arabian Nights references kill me every time 

Djkhdkjhd Ryuji labelling Mikhail in his phone as “Muscle Freak” that’s tru friendship

“You should say, ‘I’m totes hip with the kids, yo’” Ryuji pls 

“You’re so cute, you must be Iwatobi’s famous Kou” KHGKHGKJHKJ 3/3 MIKOSHIBA KNOCKOUT KOU

Awwwww Rei is so nervous for nationals my sweet baby boy

I ADORE that Rin and Haru are literally running across the city right before their most important meet bc they want to see their friends swim 

Rrgjhgr the one and only backstory in this show is former childhood friends and it applies to every single character

OMG Rei get his own flashback but with his boy Nagisa I love it

“I think he’d make a good rival for you actually” Makoto Tachibana: Rival Matchmaker

GOOD JOB BOYS U DID GOOD (ALSO TEAM PHOTO I WEEP)

“Try not to cry when I beat you” SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Wow this final episode is already clutching at my heart right out of the gate baby Haru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Makoto letting four more boys pile into his one bedroom for the night bc he’s the Best Boy Alive

HJGHJKGH THIS EXCHANGE 

Mikhail: That’s what I call ‘totes hip with the kids’

Nearby youths: [Giggling]

Mikhail: [Soft indignant gasp] Ryuji!!

Natsuya and Ikuya have the cutest sibling relationship gjkghk THEY

The theme of this season is people hugging each other and crying over the lanes and I LOVE THAT 4 THEM

Rin and Haru and Makoto........... are good boys

“What is this, some kind of teen drama” that is exactly it, Rin

“He won’t stop talking about stupid crap like friendship and bonds” I love three (3) boys

Bonus: Out of Order Liveblog of Free! Take Your Marks + S3E0

Haru dropping his pants in Makoto’s apartment without the immediate context of them being near water was the most high stakes moment in this entire anime I had no idea where that was going

Haru leaving his apartment hunting until the day before he moves: Mood

Sidenote: Makoto and Haru going apartment hunting is domestic as HELL I love it

“The two of you are inseparable, huh?” “We’re friends, deal with it.” Let people be gay Kisumi 

Lmao @ Nagisa and Rei’s yoga pose video Iwatobi is the cutest swim team in the world 

“Then one day even those tears will dry out in the Tokyo desert” who hurt you, Ms. Amakata 

“Allow me to welcome you to Tokyo, the city where love and lust intertwine” Free! Love and Lust could really be a subtitle of this anime lmao

“I’m talking about the whole bunkbed situation, you know, top and bottom” lmao shout-out to Sloane for that one art

I love the wordless communication between Makoto and Haru (and for that matter, Sosuke and Rin) I’m so glad they worked things out

I’m also happy Rin and Kou are cool now they used to have quite a gap

“Rin wasn’t that honest with himself” rjghg Rin and Haru miss each other

“This is the one,” said Haru, next to Makoto, His Completely Platonic Best Friend Who Dreams About Them Sharing An Apartment and Dropping Trou

I LOVE STEVE THE FAT CAT. AN ICON. A BEAUTY. CHUNKY BABY

“The treasure is inside the red shark’s mouth” there is DEFINITELY a Rin joke to be made here and the writers knew it

I don’t know what I love about this more that Aii and Momo are TERRIBLE at scheming or that that they are throwing Rin and Sosuke together on White Day lmao

This team vacation... Sosuke giggling bc he was tickled... !!!!!!! THANKS

I’m loving all these teams getting presents for each other jkhgkjg

Oh am I finally going to understand this Momo and Capybara backstory

Lol @ Natsuya pouring his heart abt Nao to Sosuke wholly unsolicited

“What were you about to ask” “Oh, not anything important (I’ll wait for you Sosuke)”

OHHHHHHHHHH THE CHARM BACKSTORY SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Oh Christ alive am I about to watch the Arabian Nights recruitment film

Hhhgjgjhg I gather the only reason Haru got his license was to compete with Rin

“I’m the evil king who is after the lamp for his own selfish reasons” I hate this... but also... I love this???

“I am a mysterious peddler. I travel carrying mysterious bundles. While riding atop of my mysterious partner Chappy the Camel” HARU STOP

OH MAKOTO HONEY U POOR SOUL JHGKHFKJGH 

“Makoto. When I’m nervous I think about mackerel” I am going to expire

“I think the three of you should implement your own version of it” Fhjkhgk Haru is telling them to exploit their bodies for school recruitment but also that’s not really anything new so fair enough

Nagisa: Rei is Perfect Killer Muscles Handsome in my heart!!!!!!

“Maybe I’m never going to understand him” Omg @ The Jilted Middle School Exes of Haru Club

“How David had to give up his love.... And then Veronica, knowing they couldn’t see each other anymore” call me crazy but I think Rin is projecting his own issues onto A Rat’s Life LMAO

Tjehjkhkje Sosuke needing to call Rin bc he got lost on his way to the bathroom... Useless Husband Energy

HAHAH Rin is so upset thinking Momo and Kou are dating

At least Rin recognizes that he doesn’t get to decide who Kou dates he can only express his approval or disapproval

“Momotaru Mikoshiba is a man who lives by passion” gjhgjhg stop this

“Rin would never lose to a persimmon, ever!” MAKOTO R U OK

“You are not less than a persimmon!” THESE BOYS. U R SO DUMB BUT ALSO GET U A FRIEND LIKE THE IWATOBI SWIM CLUB

“It’s cool if you need to cry” “If you stay in the pool no one will ever notice your tears” I LOVE SOSUKE AND HARU TEAMING UP TO TEASE RIN

I also deeply appreciate that even though I’ve never heard their Japanese voices I know exactly who is saying what line in this outro just by dialogue and tone of voice

+

“I have a crippling fear of mascot costumes” “Then why did you take this job” kjhgkjhgkjh if that isn’t a work mood 

Wait... if Makoto is going to be the substitute wrestler... WILL HARU BE THE SUBSTITUTE MASCOT AHHHHHHHH

WAIT NO I HAVE GRAVELY AND HILARIOUSLY MISUNDERSTOOD MAKOTO IS GOING TO BE BOTH MASCOT AND WRESTLER

“Iwa means ‘boulder’ and ‘tobi’ means ‘black kite’ so it’s a boulder-headed bird!!” Well that’s more of an explanation for the appearance of the Iwatobi mascot than I ever expected, Nagisa

“You don’t have a crippling fear of mascot costumes, do you?” No but I have feeling Makoto is about to develop one

Oh it’s THIS FUCKPUDDLE who asked u to be here Hiyori

“I don’t exactly hate it” high praise Ikuya lmao

Thkjhtkjh I love Natsuya’s long distance relationship it’s sweet 

HAHAHA is the beak thing supposed to be a ploy so people see Makoto’s face

“I cannot let Haru see me like this” “Hi Makoto” HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS WHOLE INTERACTION AND ALSO HOW HARU JUST GOES ALONG WITH ALL OF IT

Also I don’t know how Makoto was planning to hide his identity after he was addressed as “Mr. Tachibana”

LMAO @ MAKOTO BEING RECOGNIZED BY HIS LEG MUSCLES I’M SCREAMING

“Hey Makoto, use a backstroke!!” HARU PLEASE

“Well done, you’ll be a great mascot someday” “Thanks? I think?” This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen and I loved it

Oh my goooood Haru bringing Makoto presents for his siblings.... they have ascended to the college relationship levels of Natsuya and Nao

Man Ikuya could not radiate stronger “leave me alone” vibes 

“Wow you boys make a dashing pair” you said it Suit Lady not me 

[loopy777]

If you were told to write a spiderman series, with the regular high school/college love triangle shenanigans involving the usual ladies of Peter's life, only with the twist that in the end Spiderman/Black Cat would be the actual couple of the series, how would you go about writing them? Also what do you think the good and bad things about a series focused the ship would be?

(Sorry for the delay. The most recent chapter of Traitor’s Face insisted that every single thing I wrote for it needed to be completely rewritten at one point or another.)

Huh, now this is a new idea. It reminds me of how the 90’s animated series started with Felicia Hardy, no Black Cattiness at all, as the main love interest. And for some reason she was a cheap knock-off of Gwen Stacy for something like four seasons. I can only guess that they came up with the character first, and then stuck a random name on her from the comics.

However, if they *did* start with the idea of using Felicia, I understand how they wound up having to add so much to the character. The first big problem with the concept is that she essentially doesn’t have any character besides being the Black Cat. So anything that tried to make her the winning Love Interest would either need to bring Felicia into Peter’s civilian life and flesh her out as something more than a costumed adventurer/criminal/hero, or make the focus of the stories on his life as Spider-Man. You know, maybe do something like the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon and make him a pro-hero all the time.

The second big problem is the Black Cat’s weird status with her powers. If she doesn’t have any powers, she’s just a Catwoman knock-off. For a short while she had generic Cat powers, but that’s nothing that’s going to put her on the map. Her ‘true’ power, as far as I’m concerned, is her Bad Luck thing; it plays well on her full theme, it’s fairly unique, and it’s something that can be presented in a dynamic way, with her opponents continually encountering ridiculous bad luck as they try to impede her. But there’s no real origin for those powers, is there? She got them from Kingpin (in a story I haven’t read) and as far as I know the exact method by which he gave her those specific powers isn’t known; it’s incidental to plot point of her going to Kingpin in the first place. So a full, meaningful origin would have to be invented for those powers, too.

The final thing that needs to be created for the Black Cat is a reason to stick around long-term. She dips in and out of the comics because, when she isn’t romantically involved with Spidey, there’s really no reason for her to be in the story. She pursues her own goals, which can take her away from Spidey’s drama.

With all that in mind, here’s a possible scenario I came up with to answer the question.

Set during college years, Felicia and Peter are childhood friends, once being part of a Three Amigos thing with Flash Thompson before Flash became a bully. All three came from messed up histories, with Peter being the orphan raised by his aunt and uncle, Flash having an alcoholic father, and Felicia having something more complicated that we’ll get into. What Peter doesn’t know is that Flash turned against him because Flash fell in love with Felicia, but she had feelings for Peter. Peter never noticed because in high school he was a total nerd who didn’t feel lovable, and after that he was too distracted by Spider-stuff.

Anyway, Felicia’s backstory is that her family was super-poor until her father started working for the Kingpin as a spy, enforcer, and coordinator/boss of Kingpin’s thieves. Their family had to hide that Daddy was involved in organized crime. After Felicia got into college, though, things became more strained, as her father couldn’t deal with all the super-heroes who have been chipping away at Kingpin’s empire, especially that insufferable Spider-Man! But Kingpin has made a deal with an evil scientist (maybe Norman Osborn, maybe the Jackal, maybe even Doc Ock) who has developed a counter for Spider-Man: a 'Bad Luck’ power that’s actually an unconscious psionic defensive ability to alter the immediate future. It’s a direct counter to Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense, which is an unconscious precognitive defensive ability.

For reasons, this can only be given to one person. Perhaps having too many Bad Luck people around compounds the effect? Or maybe Kingpin fears the power’s subtle nature, and doesn’t want to pass it around too much. Perhaps a few other limited people are given the power, but they only come into the story on rare occasions, like when Felicia needs to deal with a Shadow Archetype.

So Felicia becomes the Black Cat, and becomes an apprentice to her father. She battles Spider-Man, but isn’t entirely committed to the idea. She’s a good person, and doesn’t like the Kingpin or the way his empire hurts people. But she’s loyal to her family, and if she doesn’t do something about Spider-Man, her dad will be killed. She’s also juggling her college like, because she wants to eventually get out of being a criminal.

This all gets complicated when Felicia’s Bad Luck ability sets into motion a sequence of events that end with her finding out that Peter is Spider-Man, with Spidey unaware.

So we settle into our storytelling engine, where Spidey encounters some crime or adventure. If it doesn’t involve the Kingpin, then Black Cat helps him out because she wants to protect her buddy Peter. If the Kingpin is involved, Spidey and Black Cat can find themselves on opposite sides; in those cases, Black Cat obviously is trying to hold back against Spidey, and because he can sense this, he holds back against her, too. He even becomes rather taken with her.

This frustrates Felicia to no end, for obvious reasons.

Throw in the complication that, in their civilian lives, Flash is dealing with his family history and trying to be a better person as he goes through college. He tries again with Felicia, who both feels bad for him and is frustrated that Peter is more interested in her alter-ego. And there’s the outgoing Mary Jane Watson who seems interested in Peter, and he in her.

A change in the dynamic can happen if Peter discovers Black Cat’s secret identity. Perhaps he doesn’t realize that she knows who he is, and she doesn’t know that he knows about her in turn, so hilarity ensues as they’re both unaware that they could end all these complications with a very simple conversation.

Another 'end of an era’ switch-up can happen if the Kingpin gets taken down, but not necessarily Felicia’s father with him. I like the idea of replacing Kingpin as the big bad with Norman Osborn, and Osborn discovering Peter’s identity can mess around things. Perhaps Felicia’s father even teams up with Osborn, dragging her into the conflict. The love triangle could be messed up by Harry Osborn getting involved and pursuing Felicia or the Black Cat- or both!

I’m thinking we also need to eventually do something for the Black Costume Saga, so that Flash has the opportunity to become Agent Venom and get involved in the super-heroics that his childhood friends are perpetrating. It would be interesting if Agent Venom is working for SHIELD or somesuch government agency, and both Spider-Man and Black Cat can be wanted felons by that point, so they’re both fighting Flash without realizing it. Bonus points if Flash’s superiors include a corrupt character who is running a criminal sideline.

I’m keeping to the spirit of this idea as a comic book, so I don’t have a definite endgame. Obviously, Peter and Felicia would have to become fully aware of each other’s identities and knowledge. Perhaps Flash’s death is what inspires them to finally try to commit to each other, or else the defeat of a major villain, which might wind up being Felicia’s father as their ultimate enemy. I don’t think I’d have them give up their superheroics afterward, but it probably depends on all the drama and trauma they’ve suffered through at that point. Since the speculative scenario is that I’m writing a real comic book with this storyline, I need to keep my options open for either getting canceled after twelves issues or going over a hundred.

The main appeal of this kind of series, I think, is that the female lead gets to be involved in both the civilian soap opera stuff and the superhero drama. It’s always hard to get the love interest involved with the superheroics, Lois Lane being the exception to prove the rule. In every other case, I loathe it when the Reporter job is used, because it feels so derivative of Lois.

The main weakness of this series, I’m thinking, is that excuses have to be generated to keep Spidey and Black Cat from just talking things through and teaming up. Their relationship needs to remain in a constant state of volatility, although sometimes at a low simmer, and that can become contrived.

Also, as shown by my plans here, the end-ship is going to be telegraphed from the start. I think it’s futile to try to make the Black Cat a dark horse in the romantic race like Mary Jane was, because MJ’s success was an accidental result of many contributing factors, including the transition from Stan Lee to Gerry Conway as the primary Spider-Man writer, and then the promotional mandate that had the newspaper comic strip’s marriage between Peter and MJ forced on the main comic line.

Also, I’m not one for real love triangles in fiction. Done right, it just seems like a good way to alienate at least half the audience at the end, while being done poorly is just going to make the ending obvious anyway. It’s fine to throw in spoilers every now and then, but any romance I write is going to end in a predictable way, and the audience is just there to enjoy the ride.

[italicwatches]

I Couldn’t Become a Hero, so I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 01

I regret nothing. …Well, I say that now. I’m not entirely sure if this show will be any good, but it’s one whose title has had me curious for a while. Will it be silly and fun, or will it, I don’t know, turn super rapey or something? You never really know when you go down this road. So join me, won’t you? it’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 01! Here we GO!

-We begin with fire and brimstone. A volcano erupting! And then, to a temple ruins! It’s a scene right out of an incredibly anime version of Jason and the Argonauts, as our armored hero fights against a batch of skeleton w…knights, only for a harpy to come swinging in! He’s saved by a woman…in…

-Okay it’s one of these.

-Because that wouldn’t even qualify as Sexy Samurai in a decade-old shitpost video. So our hero, Raul Chaser, is willing to rely onYUP THERE GOES HER ARMOR. So she’s like Darkness but without the joke that she’s into this kind of treatment. A small army of skeletal archers pour on the arrows…When lightning comes down from the skies, brought by their other companions! Fight, war, and reach the giant leading this army! Strike him down, and they pass the exam! The woman races in, sprints up the giant’s arm, rams her fucking sword into his EYE…

-And Raul backs her up with his RAUL SLASH, carving deep through…

-Hard cut to the light of day. The hero school has been shut down. Demon Lord got defeated(probably by some fucker from another world), sooooo they don’t need to keep training brave heroes. They’re all fucked. They’re fuuuuuucked.

-Episode 01: I Couldn’t Be a Hero, so I’m Working the Register

-Hard cut to the Leon Magic Shop, where Raul has to sell suburban couples on enchanted washing machines. Magically guaranteed to remove even the most stubborn stains! But they’re not interested.

-TITTIES.

-Meet a perky bubbly young lady, Nova, who does not realize how sexualized she is. I’m sorry. Anyways, Raul is in a bit of a bind, too, since he hasn’t gotten a raise and his credit card bill is coming up this week…When a nerd comes in looking for some vintage cassette tapes. You’re in luck, they have some…! And suddenly the store is mobbed by vintage audio enthusiasts here to buy out the entire stock. Then they’re gone as fast as they came…

-And you know what, I don’t think those tapes are super vintage. I just spotted totally-not-Kodak film behind the counter. I think this is just set in the 80s-90s equivalent of this world. Plus, after a hoodie-clad blonde comes in, the CRT television in the corner plays Conveniently Timed News about how the cassette maker I-ONE has gone out of business! They just couldn’t hold their own against cheaper, ‘good enough’ cassettes and equipment from the competition while still making a profit. It’s a legitimate tragedy whenever that happens.

-And the blonde is getting mad and wants them to get the manager right now…Which is when Nova runs off to handle inventory. Escape, Nova, escape while you can! So Raul is forced to do it…Which is when the blonde slams a resume down. And is here for an interview. When the blonde forgets the resume…And so Raul’s able to read it, and holy shit.

-Raul bursts into the interview room with the resume, because you cannot seriously be thinking of hiring the demon lord’s child, right boss? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! You literally wrote it on your resume. W, Well, you’re supposed to tell the truth on those, aren’t you?! Anyways, busty lady boss has decided that Fino here will be joining the shop. It’ll be a good experience! Fino, Raul. Raul, Fino. Please get along.

-So soon Fino’s in the store, looking at all the stuff, and there’s some really cool things that humans have made. Like magicvision, and magic cassettes, and magic…You know what I’m just going to spoil it for you now. It’s 80s-90s level tech, made with magic. I’m not going to bother to specify anymore. It’s a fuckin’ TV, it’s cool that it works because of fairy dust or whatever but I’m calling it a TV. Anyways Fino never had a personal TV growing up in the Demon Castle, and is all oooooh and aaaah.

-Well, you know what else you didn’t have growing up in the Demon Castle? A broom. Get sweeping, rookie. …Yes sir! And then Convenient News comes back on to talk about the anniversary event for the demon lord’s defeat two years ago. Quick flashback, to how that day totally fucked Raul’s life. A young man, two steps away from a degree in a job that literally no longer existed overnight. His entire party was shattered. They’re stuck in dead-end jobs and with crushing college debt, and nothing to show for it except broken dreams and a bitter envy of those who actually benefitted from the changing order…

-…Damn. That’s…Damn.

-Eventually it’s later in the day, and Raul is continuing to struggle with getting Fino to, you know, work like a proper employee…Also shocking twist Fino has long lovely hair. And that’s when a rough, tough…Dirty old man comes in off his slick dragon-pulled hotrod. And he’s here to peek up Nova’s skirt and grope that ass. Fino immediately decides this shit has to be stopped…When the old man reveals he’s gonna be buying a lightbulb. One lightbulb. Every time. The perfect excuse. And now Fino is…Shall we say, confused. Are humans like dogs? Is butt stuff just part of the communication?

-Does Fino need to bend over? Fino stop bending over. FINO NO. FINO PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY. NOVA DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS.

-Lunch break, at last. Raul is able to sit down and have some food from the convenience store…A place with some old friends who worry about the dork, and look after each other.

-Back in the store, the boss is talking to her assistant manager, Viser, and trying to explain her disinterest in bringing in another company into the shop…When they spot Raul working with Fino at the register, over the security cameras. And cut down to the actual register, where Raul’s decided that the actual core of Fino’s problems is a lack of respect. Rethink everything. Back to zero. This job means they are lesser than the customer. Yeah it sucks. Deal with it.

-…Fino doesn’t know how to do that. Well try on Raul. Okay! …Fino you’re being demonic again. This isn’t a battle, you stupid dork. Are you a chuuni or just stupid?

-Fino is just trying to copy how Dad used to talk! Your dad was, literally, a demon king. THE demon king. There is, quite literally, no worse example you could mimic for this lesson! …You know what, start with the manual. But first, come on, to the repair room. They also do repair work.

-Oooh, what’s that? It’s a toaster oven. And that?! A humidifier. And…And Fino touches the humidifier, and causes a surge of water, electricity and magical energy that knocks the poor idiot into the far wall! Raul’s stuck carrying Fino into the break room to figure out a plan that doesn’t involve calling a doctor and getting into trouble, and oh, great, a note from literally everyone else who works today listing their reasons they’re not here right now. Awesome. Just awesome.

-Right, first step, get these ruined clothes off of Fino. …Fino was not wearing anything under that hoodie. And that’s how a pair of big, bountiful, ladylike breasts come wobbling out.

-And that’s when Fino wakes up.

-So.

-This isn’t great for either party. And both of them are having a freakout, until the actual events that happened get all laid out. …Please put some fresh clothes on, Fino.

-And eventually, it’s the tail end of Fino’s first day, and she gets to have a uniform! Now sweep the walkway. By hand. With this broom. Welcome to working life, kid. When a sweet old lady passes by praising her hard work, and Fino thanks her, and the kid might just do okay in this world. Maybe.

-Night comes, and Raul stops at the convenience store for dinner, having a brief chat…But as he walks by the shop on his way home, the lights are on?

-Because Fino is in the back, washing down by hand in the sink?! What are you DOING?! She’s got no house, so this is her house now. …That’s not…That isn’t…You can’t just…Do you have any idea how terrible dish soap is for hair and skin? I’d question focusing on that angle over all the other things Fino’s done wrong here, but at the same time, I mean, there comes a point where you just have to find the smallest bite of the elephant.

-And as Raul helps her dry and generally make herself presentable, they end up talking about their own pasts. Raul, who came from a tiny village only to see all the great marvels of modernity in the city, and Fino who lived an even less modern life in the castle…Despite everything, there is a connection of friendship there, and Fino’s starting to learn human society. She might just do okay here yet.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Fino touches the turbo button on the hair dryer and…Uh…It makes a biiiiig boom. She has a scary amount of magic in a world that runs on the stuff.

Hmmmm. Well, it’s not so bad that I’m gonna drop it, but man, the fan service in this one is dense…And a lot of it is pure camera-work, too, not actions actually willingly undertaken by characters. It’s honestly a shame. There’s a lot of interesting conceptual meat in this. It really didn’t need big bouncing tits and panty shots everywhere to be a good show.

Oh well. Sometimes I watch super amazing stuff and my job is just to show that amazingness to you. Sometimes, I watch not-so-great stuff and my job is to separate off the good stuff and bring it together into a better piece. If this one’s more the latter, that’s fine. We’ll just have to get a better vibe on it next time, in episode TWO of I Couldn’t … Job! Wait for it!

[baymaksu]

A Team Divided?

@jr2157 brought up an interesting question to me regarding how the BH6 team would be in a Marvel Civil War situation.

Whether from the MCU’s Sokovia Accords or Marvel Comic’s Superhuman Registration Act, the Marvel Civil War’s arguments can be boiled down to opposing philosophies of Freedom vs Order. Individual Responsibility and Fate vs Safety through Accountability and Constraints

At least under that lens, I can try to divvy up the team to who would be Pro-Registration (Team Iron Man) and Anti-Registration (Team Cap).

I would certainly not want to see the BH6 divided to an extent of fighting each other and I don’t see that happening as friendship and family is strong connection that supersedes obstacles between the nerd gang.

But each member does have differing ideologies and tendencies. So they could most definitely debate amongst themselves and choose to act accordingly under the grander scheme of things in relation to authority.

Hiro Hamada (Anti-Registration)

At first glance for me, he seems like an easy candidate for Anti Registration. On account that his tendencies are more towards freedom of action and as Granville would say, “questioning of authority.” And we can see that in Fugitives Arc, he’s willing to act on what needs to be done despite the prevailing authorities. But he could still be very conflicted on these moral-philosophical questions since he may have some distrust in his own discretion after the CTC Incident. He’s still trying to find his balance between freedom and limitations. And he was willing to abdicate his freedom to superhero how he saw fit for a moment with Granville. This could at least make it possible for him to at least consider some middle ground rather than be impulsive and pick a side. But again, I’m inclined to believe he’s more anti-registration. He’s not primed to blindly follow authority and limitations if it prohibits him from helping others how he believes Tadashi would want him to.

Fred Flammarion Frederickson IV (Anti-Registration)

I think he’s a rather easy one I don’t quite have to deep dive. Fred is chaotic and devoted to super-heroism. There are respectable principles behind his goofy demeanor, but we’ve seen that this dedication would land him in the hot seat with authorities. Mini-Max was created for the sole reason of keeping him more on target and creating less collateral damage. He means well but prevailing authorities would want him in check and accountable. But he’s compelled to act as a superhero, it is now deeply ingrained in his identity and by his actions, opposes the functions of a registration act.

Wasabi no Ginger (Pro-Registration)

He’s a rather extreme personification of order and safety. We could see that in his mannerisms (from how he sciences and his conflict when working with Hiro) and typical adherence to laws (“Society has rules!”). It would be fitting for him to be more inclined towards the benefits of pro-registration in terms of social order providing accountability and constraints for everyone to abide by to keep everyone safe and protected. Again, this is ideologies and tendencies considered. But he would still most likely stick with the team regardless, as he regards the safety of his friends most important to him. He’d be uncomfortable going against authority, but he’d prioritize their safety and fight alongside them. And if it came down to it, he would still act to help people.

Honey Lemon (Neutral)

I’m going to have to say that Honey Lemon is an interesting character in this instance. She deplores conflict and would most likely be a mediator or attempt to pacify arguments among the team to ensure that everyone remains cohesive despite differences in beliefs. So, at least outwardly, she wouldn’t choose a side per se. She’d choose the side of her friends remaining together more so.

Gogo Tomago (Anti-Registration)

From her very first appearance in the movie, she has always exuded this free agency to do what she wants or feels is right. She is action-oriented and that’s probably why she was first to really agree that the nerds needed to be powered up to apprehend Callaghan for Tadashi. She has the strength to take action for others. In the case that authorities may not align with that, she’d most likely be against losing that freedom to take things into her own hands and her own individual accountability.

Baymax (neutral)

His programming is built on helping people, his actions would align to Hiro but perhaps his curiosity on the situation would prompt Hiro to think critically just to try to explain the situation to the robot.

Bonus: Karmi (Anti-Registration)

She idolizes BH6 for their heroic acts, I believe that she’s inclined to keep faith in them and that they need not register and become essentially controlled. Bonus bonus: A superhero version of Karmi as Lab Lady, definitely not one to be tied down.

Awesome Bonus: Boss Awesome

No surprise here, he is the righteous placeholder for Captain America in the BH6-verse. He’d keep things classic and fight the good fight for others because it’s the right thing to do. He’s bound by his own principles of compassion and justice. If he and Captain America co-existed, it would be an interesting interaction. They aren’t one to one on personalities but by principle they are very similar.

BH6 Team in a Marvel Civil War-universe?

As a whole, I think the team would remain together regardless of their consensus and wouldn’t split themselves to join either cause actively. If they were to face authorities or were caught in a skirmish with other heroes of either team on the issue, they would simply prioritize safely escaping.

[fiddleabout]

You watch Killjoys, right? What can you tell me about main canon ships? Just curious because I'd like to know now that the great gay migration has found it and I want to avoid possible discourse if I can.

i do watch killjoys and highly recommend it, though i’m legit crying at the thought of my joyful campy scifi bounty hunter bubble being shredded by the migrating gay rage bubble that ruins literally everything D: D: D: 

ANYWAYS.  the main relationships on the show are very clearly the beautiful band of idiots that makes up team awesomeforce, aka:

dutch: 

the hot bamfy boss lady who everyone more or less will blindly follow into battle because She Is A Hero; i don’t think she’s not into women but she’s mostly into dudes  

seriously though look at this woman

anyways dutch and dis bitch (i say affectionately) have Tension And Long Looks a lot of the time, but it’s only tangentially a thing

fairly certain they’re angling for her to endgame with d’avin but tbh dutch needs to be endgamed with therapy, a nap, and a cuddleparty with her platonic lifemates of team awesomeforce

anyways i’m not going to act like i don’t ship dutch and delle seyah kendry (the aforementioned dis bitch) having cantankerous competitive ladysex, because obviously i do, but mostly i ship dutch with a nice calm mental landscape and lots of naps

d’avin: 

the former solider with righteous manpain who’s a righteous irritation for the first season and PURE JOY AND PERFECTION AFTERWARDS 

no

seriously

i shit you not he went from dead last on my list to tied for second place once we got to season two

he’s a punkass lil shit with a smart mouth and i think we can all agree that’s my type

he tends to get along well with all of the superqueer dudes that pree, the excellently queer bartender slash smuggler slash might have been a warlord maybe don’t ask okay, keeps around who are very in love with him (in love with pree, to clarify, not with d’avin; tbh i love d’avin but given the choice between pree and d’avin we would all choose pree.  d’avin would choose pree over d’avin)

also he and fancy are going to date and no one can tell me otherwise 

johnny:

sassypants nerd with a gun who’s excellent with the ladies 

i am convinced, the only fully hetero member of team aweseomeforce and vaguely annoyed by his own inflexible sexuality because it’s the future, dammit, and everyone is queer*

anyways he has a super dramatic romance with a super cool lady and you’ll wind up rooting for them even if you don’t like het ships mostly because they’re good kids and you want them to be happy

likes guns and technology and lucy the sentient spaceship but mostly likes dutch above everything else 

they’re biffles and sometimes have slumber parties to read comic books

ANYWAYS POINT IS there is only really a modicum of romantic nonsense happening on this show, and when it does happen it tends to be pretty well done, and while there is some queer stuff (i don’t want to get too into it bc it will literally spoil the shit right out of you) and it’s treated just like any other romance on the show, it’s not necessarily The Front And Center Ship ™ that the migrating gay rage bubble will insist is the only viable form of representation.  so.  if they really do come and ruin everything, you can bet that’ll be their bigass fucking gripe about this otherwise charmingly ridiculous and magnificent show.

tl;dr watch the show and ignore everyone in fandom and you’ll be good to go

*this is my headcanon and like, let’s be clear, it’s VERY ACCURATE but also will probably never be confirmed so.  y’know.  whatever.

ETA BC MY GIRLFRIEND SAID I HAVE TO: YOU GOTTA WATCH TIL AT LEAST SEASON TWO EP ONE BC THERE

IS

FAKE

MARRIED

!!!!!!!!!!

[thebeautifulmountain-blog]

Thoughts on the BlizzCon news?

Oh geeze, where do I even begin.Let’s try, least to most.

Nothing for Diablo, again… maybe one day. (though I’m assuming it’s because they’re actively all off working on something big - which probably isn’t Diablo related)

Starcraft 2 going free to play. - sure, but it isn’t a new single-player experience so why should I care? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good game and you should definitely play it, but I’m not good enough to play against other people any more so yeah… means nothing to me.

Hearthstone got a new expansion and it’s… kobolds? The trailer for it is as awesome as ever, and Matt Mercer singing is just beautiful. I really hope the K&C expansion is literally just the team going “you know what is fun. Dungeons and Dragons, lets just do a Warcraft version and get Matt Mercer to do the trailer.”. I really hope that was the creative process. Plus it has a PvE Arena mode - which if it is a permanent feature to the game, I’ll definitely probably get into it.

Heroes of the Storm got new heroes revealed - we’ve all seen the spoilers, so no huge shock here. The trailer was a little meh, but Alexstrasza is #1 dragon bae and clearly the best choice for the first dragon aspect into the Nexus. We’ve got two dragons and two shimadas now, but still no proper Gnomes.Feels bad.

Overwatch is finally getting an Irish terrorist. FINALLY! She looks cool to play but her actual design and the fact she kind of came out of no-where without any kind of teasing or cinematic, considering what her backstory is and how crucial it actually is to Blackwatch.Her character design is not my favourite - I don’t think every agent of talon needs the terrible black trench-coat school-shooter vibe. She’d look way better in her Mercy-esque outfit that doesn’t wash out her already pale face and clash with her red hair. And there are other colours that would work well with the whole glowing chemical tubing (which is the only actual cool part about her outfit) and they really could have played up the bioshock alchemist vibe that she seems meant to have. Because honestly, if she doesn’t have a “would you kindly” voice line I’ll quit.I think if she was more monstrous and less just generically pretty like all the rest of the Overwatch characters, she’d be far more interestingly designed. Blizzard obviously knows how to make a good sexy monster - I mean, look at dragon-demon Symmetra, or the Queen of Blades, or Sylvanas Windrunner, the Banshee Queen, Lady of Darkness, Breaker of the Scourge, Reaper of Souls, Bane of the Alliance, Queen of Lordaeron and the Northern Kingdoms.Kit wise, she is absolutely interesting and should be heaps of fun to play. I’m not a massive fan of the beams, but the bouncing orbs, the teleport (as if we needed another one) and the kamehameha wave heal/damage ult is pretty tasty.The cinematic though, I was kind of disappointed in at first because we’ve got a new character and I was hoping it’d shed some light on her and get me invested in her as a character. I’m guessing they’ll do an Ana style thing on her (though I’m still waiting to give a shit about Orisa). But that it was Reinhardt’s backstory was pretty interesting. Turns out Reinhardt was a complete and utter toolbag who left his friends to die because of his own selfish glory-hounding.What a fucking piece of shit.That hair though really was glorious.

They should have given us Balderich. He was a beast, and a team player.Seriously though, fuck Reinhardt - I lost all respect for him.

Warcraft… oh geeze, where do I ever start. It’s all lore for me. It’s all amazing and depressing and happy and dark and fucked up. I was going into it expecting a massive Old Gods mess with major characters dying off and Sylvanas probably getting retconned into some evil monster and maybe Jaina actually ending up an Old God puppet.

Nope, we’re getting Mists of Pandaria 2.0.Lorewise, I’m livid because there is absolutely zero reason so far as to why the Horde and Alliance are so out for blood against one another - but I’m going to assume that that amazing trailer is depicting the Alliance being their usual evil-masquerading-as-good selves and attacking first.Yeah guys, we get it, the original Horde got in one sneak attack, doesn’t mean you get to do it for the rest of eternity.And we might lose Lordaeron - which also makes zero sense. The currently strongest part of the Horde getting driven out of their heartland is like if a group of uncultured Orcs sacked Stormwind - actually nevermind…Doesn’t matter, we’re taking Ashenvale, which means the Orcs will finally have unfettered industrial growth and land to farm. Finally Thrall’s dumb fucking decision to found a city on a desert will be righted. And I’m hoping the Forsaken get Tel’drassil, can you imagine how cool an undead world tree would look? Geeze.

The features of the expansion are cool as well, two new continents, one per faction - which is a real kick for people like me that super heavily invest in one faction over the other. Kul’tiras is kind of like a lore shangri-la, to finally actually have it and that it is Alliance gated (by the looks of it) is salt-inducing, but if I ever manage to pay for that sub again I’ll definitely roll through on my druid.Even better though, the Horde is finally moving to make reparations with the Zandalari - who really are natural allies now that that Old God loving self-proclaimed prophet Zul is defanged.

Plus other stuff, blah, blah. Oh, and Classic WoW servers.

Anyway, about that trailer.That is what the Warcraft movie should have been. I don’t even care if it ended up as Michael Bay-esque single-scene war-porn, watching the Alliance and Horde battle it out for an hour would be bliss. The Alliance are actually wearing armour like they’re meant to - while slowly morphing into the obvious villains they are.

I really super appreciate it as a lore-nerd, a real-world lore-nerd, a military-science nerd and a political lore-nerd. Just that cinematic really underpins why I find Warcraft a compelling setting despite all the flaws of the writing team.

It is a melange of cold-war ideologies clashing, between two imperfect empires with completely different world views and philosophies despite the similarities in their overall structure.You have the Alliance, whose prime goal has always been the destruction of the Horde and establishment of Alliance supremacy, finely honed and heavily armoured. They form up in neat lines and integrate their armies using mixed-unit tactics - the human shield wall and the dwarven rifle volley. With kaldorei archers supporting in the back and siege engines rolling up from behind. Draenei shock troops waiting for the break through and just one Worgen gude (fuck Genn so much) being all like “yeah, Gilneas is totally here as well my dudes.”

The Horde though, they’re messy, they’re all fury and bluster. They don’t need armour, they’re already all like tanks. Saurfang leading at the breach, Sylvanas standing on the walls directing her archers. The Horde doesn’t integrate, they just are. They’re brawlers not soldiers, they’re fighting for survival not some revanchist notion that all Alliance land is their own.Their leaders don’t send in their pawns to die, they’ve always lead from the front - they do it through honour and not a sense of nationalism.You see this when Saurfang stands against the fallen rampart, taking arrows instead of retreating to led his men die. When he personally leads the charge out into the melee. When Sylvanas, realising she can do better elsewhere unleashes her fury on the siege engines and fucking melts an entire squad of alliance footmen.

As factions they stem from the same place but grew to have very different conclusions. The Horde revolutionaries against the Alliance reactionaries, collectivism versus integrationism. Individualism fighting against bureaucracy.

I haven’t always agreed on some of the decisions that the lore team has made in terms of growing these two factions; be it introducing a greedy randian libertarianist Goblins into the largely socialist Horde, or the introduction of the rather obviously communist Draenei into the monarchist alliance. But the fact that they’ve worked on integrating those kinds of problems into the fabric of each faction really makes it feel far more real.

I kind of think it is a shame that it didn’t include at least one Gnome though. Mekkatorque in his battle armour looks pretty friggin’ boss.

I think that mostly covers it.