#super corny and annoying but I got my heart split in two
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#super corny and annoying but I got my heart split in two#I’m throwing up my meals#can’t hold water down to save my life#my chest hurts so much#taking pain killers doesn’t hurt#I’ve been almost down right abusing my anxiety meds#I try sleeping everything off#it’s only been two days#I just want things to get better#I don’t have transportation so I can’t numb it out by being super social#I’m alone and I don’t want to be alone#I feel like someone’s ripped me open and every interaction hurts so so so much#I feel raw and exposed#it feels like a sin to want to be loved#to want to be held#and everyone’s saying oh good for you you deserve better#that I won in this situation#I feel like Icarus#I desire love. I want to taste it on my tongue. I want it to want me. I want to be held and feel alive in its warmth#and at every turn there’s only deceptions and illusions#I wish I could sufficate myself to end my pain#I want a scapegoat#I want to be mad and push blame at something#I want to gnaw at it with my teeth until I have nothing but gums left#I feel sick#I just want to feel better#I want to know that it’s not a mistake to love that it’s meant for me too#but I really don’t think it is#I feel like damaged goods. unfit and unsuitable for human consumption#anyways.
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- happy together ;
ship : you’re the one i wanna go through time with - peter maximoff x self insert ( em / emily ) word count : 2 331 ( if u actually read this i’ll die for u ) note : i love him so much i went unhinged i spent the entire day on this so if any of u read this i’d be the happiest dumbass in the world
( under the cut for length ! )
“Wanna sleep over?”
The question had slipped out seemingly by itself as Peter stared down at Emily from his doorframe. He was always fast-paced, if it was anyone else standing in Emily’s spot right now, he’d have already slammed the door shut and focused on fidgeting with whatever he had in his room. But she was here now and he was willing to slow down as long as he could match her. And now, having spent the day together, walking around town (albeit a bit too slow for him, he was still having fun, to his surprise), it was theoretically time for them to go back to their rooms. There was a small problem though, Peter didn’t really want to go his own way, even if it was just for a night. He didn’t want to annoy Emily either, but the need to be close to her overpowered him this time, prompting the sudden question.
“O- Oh.” Emily looked down, averting her gaze from Peter’s and rubbing her arm awkwardly. “Me?”
“There’s no one else in this hall, sweets.” In a sudden, he zipped behind her, arms wrapping around her waist and chin placed delicately on her shoulder. “I wanna…be with you, you know?”
Emily’s face went scarlet red, still not used to Peter’s affectionate behavior. She loved it, of course, but it was more than she was used to, which made her nervous, which made her throat close up every time he did something like this. As much as she would’ve loved to sing him a serenade, she found such out there acts more difficult to do than she had previously imagined.
“I mean, if you’d rather not-”
“No, no!” She turned around to face him in his hold, hands moving from her sides to grab him by his squishy cheeks. He could tell from the rainbow-tinted sparkles her fingers emitted that she wasn’t angry at him, rather excited and he couldn’t help but grin at her, his dimples showing.
Her eyes twinkled. “I wanna be with you too!”
Emily felt one of Peter’s hands snaking up to the back of her neck and it made her recall the first time he had done that. To avoid whiplash, he had told her back then. She hated it, she still did now, but as her eyebrows furrowed and she opened her mouth to protest, before she could even get a single word out, she already found herself in the middle of Peter’s room. He was sporting a mischievous grin, knowing that Emily absolutely hated when he dragged her around with his super speed.
“You’re a scoundrel, I hope you know that.” She said, though the dizziness made her lean her head on his chest, hoping she wouldn’t barf.
“Yeah, but you love me.” He grinned, backing away and letting her sway in her own little daze. “Plus, shouldn’t you be used to this by now?”
“I’m never going to get used to that, I can barely sit on a damn swing without feeling like my heart’s gonna leap out of my chest.” Emily shook her head, leaning on one of the cabinets in Peter’s room, which made her notice the boombox sat atop it. “Have anything to put on this?”
“Oh, definitely.” Peter grinned and sped towards his bed, eventually pulling out a box of tapes from under it. “Any requests?”
She snorted. “Well, since I’m here, how about some really corny shit?”
In only a split second, he was already standing next to Emily, putting the cassette tape in the boombox and starting it up. “So, like, this is a mixtape I made, right? And I swear to god, you’re gonna die from how corny this is. I made this specifically for moments like this!”
“Moments like this? What, like, when there’s a girl in your room?” She raised an eyebrow with a taunting smile.
“Uh, well, I guess?” He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “The definition is very, very loose since I never really thought there’d be a girl in my room anyways.”
He pushed his goggles off the top of his head, placing them on the cabinet next to the boombox and proceeding to grab Emily by the hand, pulling her away to the middle of the room again. Spinning her around, he declared that she should just focus on the music instead, but before she could properly focus on what had started playing, Peter opted on belting out the words instead.
“-I think about you day and night, it’s only right-!”
“Oh my god, Peter, please.” Emily laughed. “I swear, Charles could probably hear you yelling from his office!”
“If I should call you up, invest a dime-” He continued to sing, or rather, yell obnoxiously. Shrugging his iconic silver jacket, he flicked it in some random corner of his room, earning a playfully scolding glance from Emily. Though in a moment, she shook her head, doing the same with her leather jacket; it was pretty humid back in the school.
And, oh god, then the chorus started.
“I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you!” Peter dramatically formed his hands into finger guns, pointing at Emily. “For all my life!”
Before she could jokingly complain again, he grabbed her by the hands and started spinning with her like a lovestruck twelve-year-old who had just gotten married to the prettiest girl in class near a jungle gym. Laughing, he continued to belt out the lyrics of Happy Together, garnering a laugh from her too, which eventually turned into more of a nervous giggle.
“I’m honestly scared you’re going to use your mutation now, because if you will, I’ll actually puke on you!” She exclaimed, still giggling, and Peter’s smile shifted into a more mischievous one, causing the poor girl to actually worry. “H- Hey now, don’t get any ideas!”
But Peter wasn’t that evil; instead he tugged her close, so he could wrap his arms around her waist, garnering a yelp from the girl. She instinctively threw her arms around his neck, making a flurry of the rainbow-tinted sparkles appear around the two in a burst of happiness and excitement. He was used to her mutation, in fact, he loved it when she would literally sparkle in joy and though it was only an addition to her full powers, he appreciated it nonetheless.
“These for dramatic effect?” He asked, looking to his sides and gesturing to the sparkles with the tilt of his head.
“No,” Emily rolled her eyes with a smile. She leaned closer, making their noses almost touch. “I’m just really happy, is all.”
Peter let out a toothy grin, closing the space and practically eskimo kissing her, both their noses scrunching up at the contact and garnering a small giggle from Emily. She felt his grip around her tighten and he let out a quick ‘alley-oop!’ before lifting her up and spinning her around, then using his super speed to zip towards the bed and sit her down.
“Peter…” She whined, plopping her head on his chest once more, before looking back up at him with wide eyes. “I swear, can you not-”
The speed in which his lips made contact with hers garnered a small muffled gasp from her. She could feel her heart jumping wildly in her chest and her face flush, and it took her a second, but her eyes eventually fluttered shut, arms wrapping around his neck in an attempt to feel closer to him. In turn, he placed one of his hands on her cheek gently, the other still on her waist, and propped one of his knees on the bed.
Eventually, he pulled away, his lips still lingering close to hers. He backed away slightly, removing his hand from her cheek and lifting his index finger as if to tell her to wait a moment. She squinted her eyes, and then-
“How deep is your love!” He exclaimed and only then did Emily realized he was singing along to the Bee Gees song that was playing, proceeding to echo the same sentence similarly to the song. “I really mean to know!”
“I literally can’t with you.” Emily smacked his chest lightly, shaking her head with a small smile.
Peter hummed. “Like kissing me that much, baaabe?” His voice trailed, tone shifting to a teasing one at the word ‘babe’.
“W- What of it?”
Her red cheeks made the grin on his face widen more, if that was even possible in the first place, and it sure did make him forget that he was probably just as red. The way she pouted and looked away, each blink emitting a little batch of sparkles, but this time probably because she was flustered; it all made Peter feel like he was in a dream.
Who knew that the second he got out of his mother’s basement he’d get so lucky?
“You’re the cutest.” Peter muttered.
Emily huffed, a smile inching on her face. “That’s not true, you’ve met Kurt, haven’t you?”
“Oh yeah, because I’m so head over heels for him.”
“No way, you aren’t?”
He sighed, shaking his head with a smile. Cracking his knuckles, he scooped her up in his arms and it took less than a second for the two to be completely on his messy bed. Peter was basically straddling Emily, which, truth be told, made her scream internally. She was already dizzy from him using his damn mutation too much, but this whole thing was…a lot for her poor heart. Her wide eyes were looking up at him and she only hoped that he didn’t hear her wild heartbeat.
She exhaled, trying to dismiss her nerves. “Saucy. Though it’d be more comfortable if you actually made your bed.”
Peter groaned. “Oh my god, don’t ruin the cute moment.”
“I’m just saying!” She clapped her hands together in front of her chest, fingertips sparkling. “If I’m sleeping over, I don’t wanna sleep on a mess!”
“Oh.” He had to stifle a large grin. “I, uh…you’re actually gonna?”
“I’m already here, aren’t I?” She smiled gently, raising her sparkling hand to caress his cheek. “I’m not planning on running off anytime soon.”
He leaned into her touch, relishing in the warmth of her hand on his face for a few moments, before inhaling and moving to kiss her again. She picked up on it this time, moving her hand from his cheek to the back of his head, fingers beginning to play with his silver hair and subconsciously pulling him closer until his lips finally met hers in a gentle kiss. It didn’t take long for him to smile in the kiss, making her smile in turn too, nearly ruining the whole thing. Though when he giggled, they both knew the kiss was over. So they opted to laugh at how mushy they were being instead, Peter’s forehead leaning against Emily’s. He looked so happy; laughing and grinning ear to ear, even when his laugh subsided, the dimples on his face still confirmed he was giddy as ever and she could’ve sworn if he kept looking at her with those happy eyes of his she would’ve started crying. Luckily, he moved to kiss the corner of her lips, so he didn’t notice her trying to suck in the happy tears.
He, on the other hand, was focusing on moving his lips to her jawline, pressing them and smiling against her skin as he trailed down to kiss the side of her neck. He could feel her hand still playing with his hair and he couldn’t help but wonder if his hair was going to sparkle later, causing him to smile even wider.
“Peter…” Emily began. “I love you. A lot. And I hope you know.”
He breathed against her skin and stayed still for a second, before moving to look at her, a baffled look on his face as he stared for what felt like eternity.
“You mean it?” He asked, his eyes suddenly becoming serious. “Really truly?”
She looked away, gazing to the side momentarily and then turning back, moving her hand from his hair and lifting up her index finger, telling him to wait a moment. He continued to stare and as she finally let her hand plop down to her side, she looked back at him with a wide grin.
“I wanna know what love is!” She loudly sang along to what was currently playing on the boombox, making sure to emulate the sound of the instruments during the small break before sentences. “I want you to show me!”
Peter’s serious expression shifted to the cute happy one as he snorted. “You are a terrible singer.”
“Hey, I was trying to confess my love for you! You could at least pretend it wasn’t awful!”
He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it instantly, a better idea popping into his head. Leaning backwards, he stretched and began poking Emily’s sides, which already garnered a surprised yelp from her and as she started to tell him to stop, was when he decided to use his super speed to tickle her properly. She was both yelling at him to stop and laughing, and he could only tauntingly declare that if this was an actual fight, she’d lose. He was glad she couldn’t see the fond smile on his face as she doubled over in laughter, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, he was also glad she was here with him. And maybe for once, he thought, the entire world slowing down for him wasn’t that bad, because that only meant he could enjoy his time with her for a lot longer than he would’ve if he wasn’t like this.
It was the first time he was truly happy to be a mutant, too, a freak with silver hair who couldn’t catch a break for all his life, because if he wasn’t, perhaps he wouldn’t have met someone who loves him just as much.
#self shipping#self ship#self ship community#f/o#my f/os#self insert#character x oc#peter maximoff#xmen#x-men#ship : you're the one i wanna go through time with#s/i : rainbow sparkles
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