#suicide mention under the cut

[mandrakebrew]

i mean if nothing else this shows how much i've grown

two years ago i might have seriously tried to kill myself over this

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

I know this is pretty clear given movie!Gerald's true revenge plans I know I know but I'm not over how the end of the Sonic/Shadow fight scene really betrays how much movie!Shadow wants to die

For 50 years in his head, locked in stasis, he's been dreaming about Maria and reliving her death over and over and over and over. No matter what he does or destroys or how fast he runs he can see her there in his mind and it hurts more than one can imagine. And during most of the movie's run time he puts it into revenge, into doing something about it so that he's not just sitting around. It's easy to say that he was doing all of this so Maria's death would mean something, but in truth he hoped putting all his anger and pain into avenging Maria would allow him to feel better.

But he was getting doubts about whether this would be worth it, whether Maria would want revenge exacted upon her beloved home.

And then when Super Sonic had finally had Shadow at his mercy, he kept telling him to do it. To finish it. To exact a strike right at the heart. He was not handling living with his pain well, he was having doubts about his revenge, and when it finally came down to the wire he just wanted it all to end.

And then...Sonic wouldn't let him have this. Not only was this not who Sonic was (a killer), but he couldn't just take that life, even though Shadow was goading him into doing it. He refused to kill him, and forced Shadow to live. And not just to live, but to live honoring Maria's memory and making amends rather than simply trying to fight and destroy his feelings away.

Idk I'm just insane about that scene betraying how much Shadow wanted to die and how impactful it was that Sonic chose not to let him/chose not to kill him (like those scenes between Sonic and the knights from Satbk but perhaps a but more emotionally weighted)

[curatoroffiction]

Overprotective (Part 1)

Based off of this post It all came to a head with The Incident™.

You were frustrated, having just left Levi's room. You'd brought him a series that you thought he'd love, it was much more like some of the stuff he used to be into, which had heartbreak and drama, but you'd heard it had a good resolution, even if it was sad. But the second things started turning sour emotionally, he began to panic. And when he asked if you knew what would happen, and you said "I've heard about the ending, but I saved actually knowing it for you", you didn't expect what he did next. He stopped the show and took the DVD out. This started a long fight that you barely understood. Him being upset that you weren't 'taking care of yourself', and you being upset that he was trying to micro-manage what you watched! You even jabbed at him telling him that "Avoiding the sad stuff isn't healthy!" which only made him more upset. You didn't understand why, so you just left. You ran into Asmodeus, who started worrying about the stress you were visibly under. Stress isn't good for one's health. He first asked if you wanted to take a soothing bath with him, which you shrugged off, thinking that would be the end of it. But it wasn't. He kept badgering you to let him help you destress. It started very flirty at first... Until it became desperate. You continued to decline, and he became more worried, which caught Satan's attention. When Satan heard you were stressed out, several stress-related illnesses flashed through his memory and he became very serious trying to give you other options. If anything, their insistence on controlling another aspect of your life was making it worse. You were on the verge of exploding when Belphegor came around. You called out to him, but he turned right around and walked away. You frustratedly chased after him, but when you turned the corner he disappeared behind, he was gone. Instead, you found Mammon. With the shadiest bag of vitamins you've ever seen. No label, just some random supplement in a plastic bag. "You want some vitamins?" The sight would have made you laugh a week ago, but right now, it was just frustrating. "No! I want everyone to stop badgering me! And for Belphegor to stop AVOIDING me!" "Sounds like you could eat. Lemme cook you up something." Mammon was the one who was the best at reaching out. He'd been slyly learning how to cook on the side, so he could get more veggies and fruits into your diet. And the food he's learned to cook was really yummy. Begrudgingly, you accept, and he takes you to the kitchen, also giving Asmo and Satan a covert thumbs up. The two let him take care of you, seeing that your stress instantly began to melt at the idea of food. That is.. Until you got to the kitchen. Mammon begins pulling out veggies and fruit to make you a few dishes, but Beelzebub keeps hovering around to try to control your portions. No matter how much you told him it was insulting, he just couldn't bring himself to stop worrying. Mammon always makes you too much food, seeing as how he keeps trying to pack in the nutrients like they're going to culminate in prolonging your life indefinitely. Once again, you're pissed, and this time with new vigor. You finally storm out of the kitchen and out of the house, only to see Lucifer coming in from the walkway. And he's blinded by how dangerous it is for you to walk around Devildom alone. He tells you as much and you just shout "WELL I HOPE I DIE THEN, BECAUSE IT'D BE BETTER THAN THIS HELLSCAPE" while trying to brush past him in frustration. You didn't even mean the words, but no one had been listening to you and no one was giving you a chance to control anything in your life without supervision. They've been so controlling and so accidentally belittling, making you feel less-than, making you feel like a child in a house without love. Part 2

[theokusgallery]

One of their weird "I love you"s

[themadauthorshatter]

Toxic Jimmy and Curly idea I had

TW for attempted suicide, toxic relationship, drinking(just in case), and Jimmy(which is now mandatory, I guess)

SO

The idea is that one day, Curly is at such a low point, having been in a toxic relationship, dealing with his life being something he wants to escape, and even with manned jobs becoming sparce and leading him to getting laid off time and time again, he decides he doesn't want to try anymore

He doesn't have a lot of ties, but he texts/messages Jimmy, thanking him for being his friend, for being around as long as he has, and even apologizing he caused Jimmy so much trouble

Jimmy, having gotten the text while he was on a walk, is VERY confused and asks Curly what he's talking about. Curly only says that he's just tired and hopes Jimmy can do better things without Curly being in the way, even with him saying he's hoping Jimmy didn't bother trying to find him and saying where he is the view is nice, at least, sending a picture as proof, and then admitting he's drunk

Jimmy starts to panic and demands to know where Curly is, trying to figure it out using the picture Curly sent. He's successful and finds Curly later on a bridge that's in the middle of repairs; it's isolated and there are machines fixing it, but it's taking a while. Curly himself is sitting against the railing and drinking, though he's VERY wasted and not exactly there when Jimmy asks him what's going on and why he's out drinking in the freezing cold without a coat on, as Curly is usually the one to harp about wearing a coat

Curly only asks how Jimmy found him and why he even did, all things considered. Jimmy only says that no one hoping to not be found would send a picture of where they are, essentially calling Curly an idiot. Curly knows he is, as Jimmy usually tells him

Jimmy starts putting the dots together and shifts gears, sitting next to Curly and asking him how many drinks he had, as he's red in the face(though that might be from the cold) and cleared drunk off his ass. Curly admits his lost count and refuses to hand over the bottle he has, as he stands dryly claims he feels fine, he always does, he HAS TO because lord forbid Curly admit he feels anything other than fine, given how good his life supposedly is, according to so many people

Jimmy stands as well, acutely aware of how close Curly is to the railing, and does remind Curly that his life isn't really that bad, compared to other people's(namely Jimmy's). For Curly, it proves his point. He's done with his life being what it is and doesn't want be around anymore

Jimmy tells him that he'll accomplish nothing in killing himself and people still want him around, that Jimmy himself wants him around. It's always been the two of them, and Jimmy can't imagine what he'd do if he didn't have Curly with him

He also notices how tightly Curly's holding onto the railing and says he knows Curly doesn't actually want to do what he came to the bridge to do

Curly isn't able to respond, but his hand slips and he almost falls back, let word bring almost because Jimmy grabs him and throws them both to the ground away from the railing

Both are in complete shock, but Jimmy snaps out of it and demanding to know why Curly tried something so stupid, how he could actually think throwing himself off a bridge. There's more about how selfish Curly is and how getting laid off isn't excuse to up and kill himself, all things that hit and hit hard

And Curly breaks, crying on the ground until he's practically bawling because what's nearly happened catches up to him

Jimmy just watches for a second before helping Curly sit up and hugging him. Curly gets out that he's just tired of it all, that he wants it to end. After more crying, he's calm enough to say that he's freezing and wants to go home. Jimmy helps him up and Curly promptly vomits on the street; remember he's past blackout drunk. Jimmy gets them home, eventually having to carry Curly because Curly passes out

He also makes Curly something to eat in the morning, as Curly has the very bad hangover from getting wasted, and, after a base check in, chides Curly for taking the easy way out when he could have talked about it. Curly argues it wouldn't have been worth it, as sometimes he thinks talking to a wall would actually not be a waste of his time. The only reason he doesn't is because he wants to be heard, wants to be listened to

After a second, Jimmy asks about the view Curly was talking about, showing him the picture Curly sent. Curly admits it's fuzzy, but he saw the sunset and thought it looked nice. Curly also thanks Jimmy for finding him, as Curly doesn't want to know what would have happened if he was alone

Jimmy smiles a little and puts a hand on his shoulder, asking Curly what he'd do without him

[crushedsweets]

I know this shit is long as hell and you probably won't answer since you have so many asks but I just wanted to say I found a backstory for Cody(X-Virus) for your AU!!!

It's not as creative as your ideas but I tried to do something original and meaningful for him. He deserves more love and recognation.

I'm so so sorry for bothering you and I apologize for my mistakes.

Hope you like it and can't wait to hear your opinions about it!!!!

▼・ᴥ・▼

Cody never got adopted by a scientist, instead, he lived in an orphanage where he constantly got bullied. The reason for this situation was just straightly absurd. He just couldn't understand peoples and their emotions like other kids because of his lack of emphaty.

That's why he focused on academic knowledge rather than human relationships. Because mathmetical problems were easier for him compared to comforting a crying person.

Cody always was a succesful and smart kid so he could easily pass his exams in middle and high school. Because of that, in high school, he didn't bother to focus over boring topics like his daily lessons anymore.

No, he focused on more complicated science fields such as quantum physics, anatomy and organic chemistry.

Of course Cody couldn't understand everything he read easily, that's why he spend hours and hours on studying and having countless nights without any sleep. He read articles and textbooks, he watched professors' lectures on youtube, he tried to solve problems on his own and more.

Overworking on university lessons was not a good way for socialising, he got more and more isolated and the bullying was increased.

In last year of high school, he was worried because of the fact that he needed to win a success scholarship for all the cool topics he worked over, moreover, for a diploma. He could easily go to a college, however, he wanted the best of them. Because only the best could satisfy his hunger for research and true knowledge.

Cody was also confused about choosing which major to pick and he was stressing about this topic all the time. So many good fields were lying ahead him but he could only choose one of them and he wasn't sure which one is the one he wanted to dedicate his entire life. What if he would made a mistake and regret for his lost years for the rest of his living?

So yes, this was a very overwhelming decision for Cody. Since he was anxious all the time and he was going through a serious depressive episode, he decided to give a shot to the Chernobyl school trip in his school.

Obviously it was not like they really went inside of the nuclear powerplant since most of them weren't even over 18 years old. More like they wandered around the places in Ukraine which were close to the powerplant(Chernobyl City) and they visited some important museums.

But this was not enough for Cody.

He wanted to see the inside of the powerplant. He wanted to learn more details about behind the scenes. He wanted to see the deformed bodies. He to carry out experiments on dead humans who got affected by the radiation.

That's why he stole a gas mask and sneak out to the powerplant while everyone else was sleeping in a hotel.

He was truly breathless because of what he witnessed.

That's when he decided to became a chemistry engineer.

Of course he they got him and he took a huge punishment which caused to screw his school life.

Even though he got a really high score in his university acceptance exam, his applys were rejected by all the big schools he dreamed about. He got so, so upset about this that he even wanted to kill himself rather than living as a worthless piece of shit.

While he was rolling in thoughts of negativity, a teacher who respected Cody's success wrote a reference letter for him to an school.

The school decided to accept Cody with a few conditions. This school was not as big and as fancy as other schools he wanted but it was still better than what he could aford without that reference later. So he immediatly accepted this offer and thanked his teacher.

He did not became a chemistry engineer.

He majored in psychology which provided him the chance to do some different kind of experiments on mental health hospital residents.

He did a double major in chemistry, not in chemistry engineering.

But he's mostly using all his time for psychlogical experiments over chemical experiments. Sometimes he uses chemistry too for topics like neurotransmitter matters and the structure of hormones.

He's mostly a psychologist who you not want to cross and he works in mental health hospitals. He mostly manipulates his patients for doing something morally grey or hurtful for them either mentally or physically.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS AND PLSSS DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF ITS WRITTEN BEAUTIFULLY AND I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE SHARE THINGS WITH ME. I PROMSIE UR NOT BOTHERING ME AND ITS SO GOOD.

OK IMMA CHAT A LITTLE WITH IT UNDER THE CUT CUZ I LIKE IT

"That's why he focused on academic knowledge rather than human relationships. Because mathmetical problems were easier for him compared to comforting a crying person." I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVE characters like this. who lean into math and science because they just cant grasp all of the wishy washy of emotion and that kinda stuff. characters who like clear, linear paths with rules and whatnot. i think its really interesting way to try to define a character

which is why i love "No, he focused on more complicated science fields such as quantum physics, anatomy and organic chemistry."

i love how much you focus on his desire for knowledge. i think its cool when someone CRAVES for intelligence, they want to learn, they wanna know everything they possibly can - and i think its especially interesting when that turns into scary, morbid curiosity

and i fucking love how scary it is that he decided to go snooping around during his Chernobyl trip. it just sounds like a really unsettling turn of events and i think is such a creative, yet creepy, take on what made such a big shift. going from a kinda awkward, focused, troubled kid to someone who is willing to hurt and sacrifice people for his own morbid curiosity. SUPER SCARY

and i like that he still couldnt get what he wanted. i like that he still got stuck doing smth that didnt truly appease any scary urges he had, and that he has to do his freaky killer stuff in a roundabout way by manipulating his patients

would be interesting to see if any other creeps could perhaps be his patient . . .

[hawaii-official]

slit

U mean the slit under my pants orrr

is this your way of saying we should make out bbg?

ngl u should fukcing kys xd imagine reading that and deciding to send that to some1 xd you useless fuck >///<

Nobody likes u irl :D

Lmfao imagine reading that message and deciding that you should send that to someone and not even thinking abt how that may effect some1 :3

imagine caring enough to send anon hate :3

Imagine not having the fucking balls it takes to show your face :3

Imagine being such a useless fucking whore like yourself. XD

Honey, maybe you should get some help. Or kys I honestly couldn’t care less loser :3

[faithchel]

CODEX ❧ síle cosantoir, la belle dame sans mercy. vol. ii. [template]

content warning for deaths, violence, and suicide.

The demise of the Cosantoirs is much speculated about; while first-hand accounts of at least some of it are available, they come exclusively from the surviving hired assassins, and thus their credibility is dubious at best. One thing can be known for certain: there was a plot to massacre the Cosantoirs, it was a hired job (not even the hirelings themselves can attest to their employer, though it is believed it was a group, not an individual, that conspired). The second surety is that the family somehow learned of the plot and chose to meet their fate at their own hands; it’s universally accepted that by the time the assassins arrived, everyone, family and servants alike, were dead. Most are believed to have been felled by Síle’s own infamous poison; others chose the blade. It is not definitive who slit their throats, but accounts state “[Síle] had blood up to her wrists and the Lord’s blades in her hand.” Most agree that it was a pact made with those who preferred death by blade to venom, and she was the appointed wielder for those who did not trust themselves to fall on their own; it’s believed she was then meant to turn it on herself, but either hesitated or changed her mind. She was the sole living inhabitant when the attackers arrived, “slaughter[ing] her way out,” and was evidently severely injured in her escape; one recalls “[his comrade] carved her pretty face in half.” Initial reports claimed her survival of her wounds unlikely.

Of what happened, she refused to speak even well after her return to society; when pressed, she would reply only “Everyone agrees. I killed them all.” It is unclear if she refers to carrying out their deaths or the widely held belief that she was to blame for the sentiments leading to the conspiracy against her family. It is possible she means both.

She was later tracked to a caravan of performers, among whom were her illegitimate cousin, Kieran Cadwell IV, and the bard Amara. She was imprisoned, charged with murder and suspicion of diplomatic treachery, assassinations, and subterfuge, the fate her family likely died to avoid; it was a fate she evaded nonetheless, as a fire broke out in the makeshift prison, only the charred remains of a woman with the singed remains of Síle’s attire and the family jewels on her person.

She vanished from all records for the following decade.

[hetchiew]

hows u

Not great… going through a flare up :(

Plus I’m super stressed (about school and some conflict going on with my friends), which definitely isn’t helping

also…

We’re also coming up on (this Wednesday) the 7th anniversary of my first suicide attempt. Yes, you read that right—just 4 days after I turned 13 I tried to end my life. So I’m giving myself some time to mourn for child me during these next few days. He was so depressed and hopeless, I just want to hold him and tell him that we’re gonna be okay.🥺💔

[bridgyrose]

Blake took a few deep breaths as she felt a little blood drip down her arm and into the sink. The rag she kept pressed against her arm was already stained, part of her daily routine as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The scars that ran down her arms were just a reminder of the pain she felt, the pain she had tried to leach out to feel herself. And the pain never left no matter how many times she tired. 

“Are you okay in there?” Ruby asked as she knocked on the bathroom door. “You’ve been in there for a while.” 

Blake slowly pulled the rag away from her arm and relaxed a bit when she saw the bleeding had stopped. “Almost done! I just need a few more minutes!” 

“Dont take too long or we’ll be late!” 

“You can go ahead of me!” 

“You’re part of our team, we wont start leaving without you. Even for class.” 

Blake let out a soft sigh as she turned the water on and washed the blood off the knife, taking care to make sure it was disinfected after its use. She knew those words were supposed to be an affirmation of where she belonged, that she had people to belong to who werent going to leave her. But those same words felt hollow. She was part of their team for now, but would she be after they graduated? A year after graduation? Five years? How could she be certain any of them would stick with her? Adam made it clear that no one besides him would want her, and even then she didnt really belong with him. 

Once the blade was cleaned, Blake dried it off carefully and washed her arm to get rid of the dried blood. As the water ran clear as the last of the blood washed away, she bandaged her arm to hide the cut she made and finished getting dressed. Then, she put up a few fake smiles until she found one that she liked on her reflection and walked out of the bathroom. 

Weiss nearly pushed past her as she made her way into the bathroom, the usual scowl on her face. “You nearly take longer than Yang in there!” 

“It takes time to look like this,” Yang retorted. “Besides, she has just as much hair as you and I do. You know it takes a while to get that taken care of.” 

“Still, I’d like to be able to get ready without being late.” 

“Then get up earlier.” 

Blake’s smile became a bit more genuine as she listened to Yang and Weiss argue like they normally did. And yet, it didnt ease the pain she felt about being left behind. That all of this was going to come to an end in the next few months once they graduated. Everyone going their separate ways and not looking back. 

Her smile slowly faded as she packed her backpack with everything she needed for class. Her fingers nearly lingered on each book and notepad she picked up as if this touch was going to be her last. Though she paused as she heard Ruby ask a question she didnt quite catch, her voice almost muffled. “What was that?” 

“I asked if you wanted to come with me to get breakfast,” Ruby asked again. “Weiss will be a little while and the cafeteria will close soon, so going now to get breakfast for everyone might not be a bad plan.” 

Blake nodded and got up once she finished packing her pack. “Sure.” 

“We better hurry then.” 

Blake put up a smile and quietly followed after Ruby. Her smile dropped again without her noticing as she continued to follow, more focused on each step she took than the time she was spending with Ruby. 

“Are you okay?” Ruby asked. 

“Of course-” 

“I mean are you really okay? You’ve seemed… distant.” 

“Distant?” Blake half asked. “I havent been trying to be distant. I’ve been myself.” 

“Well, yeah, but you’ve been quieter.” 

Blake went quiet again as if to prove Ruby’s point, not quite sure what more to say. Her hand went to the newest cut on her arm as she squeezed, unable to tell Ruby what was really on her mind nor could she tell her what she’d been doing in the bathroom that morning. “I-I’m fine,” Blake lied. “Really, I’m fine.” 

“If you say so.” 

“I’d tell you if I wasnt.” *If I could admit I wasnt* Blake thought to herself as she pulled her hand away from her arm. It was easier to try to push those feelings away, those thoughts of being left behind and only useful when people wanted her. And yet, those feelings never went away. Always lingering, looming behind her like a geist ready to take her. 

Her steps slowed until she stopped near an open window, looking out to watch the sunrise. She could remember the days that she used to watch them with her mother and father as they were traveling with the White Fang, the days she’d try to drag Adam out with her, the nights that she had stayed up until the sunrise, just to climb into bed before being dragged out on another mission for Adam. All those moments bittered as she closed her eyes and took a breath. 

“Blake? Blake!” 

She didnt know when she leaned over a bit too far, or that she leaned over the windowsill to begin with. But she opened her eyes as she felt Ruby grab the back of her shirt and call her name, body frozen as she looked down at the pavement below. Her heart stayed at a calm beat, and even as she was pulled back into the hallway she couldnt help but look at Ruby with a near blank stare. 

“I-I… you tried… are you sure everything is okay?” Ruby asked as she sat down next to Blake. 

Blake finally looked away from Ruby and down at the floor, not sure how to answer. It was almost as if her body had been on autopilot, not aware of anything that happened to this point beyond what she had done this morning. Sure, the thoughts of death had enticed her once before, not having to worry about what she’d done or having to deal with her parents again, disappearing to be nothing more than a footnote in other’s lives. 

And yet, she hadnt wanted to die yet. She had wanted to see herself through graduation, see the first few missions she’d find herself after becoming a huntress… it wasnt something she had wanted to give up so easily. Blake finally shook her head and sighed. “I-I dont…. I dont know.” 

“You dont know?” 

“I dont know… I’m not…” Blake slowly started to lift her sleeve, then pulled it back down. She finally looked at Ruby, her voice shaking as she spoke. “I… I dont… want to be alone.” 

Ruby nodded and took Blake’s hand. “You wont be.” 

“But how can I believe that? You all will leave when we graduate and I’ll have to-” 

“None of us are going to leave you. We’re a team, we’ll always stick together. And if life pulls us apart, we’ll find a way to keep in touch.” 

Blake slowly nodded and wiped away a few tears. “Can… can we talk after class? I… I need to talk to all of you.” 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay until then?” 

“I will. I need to keep going. For you.”

[trollblivion-ooc]

bug talk pt. 2

[heystephen]

what happened in court bb -ebd anon

oh ill put this under a read more because some of it may be triggering to different ppl

so basically the judge ruled this time for a removal of the kids, the reason being that a test was done and showed that both them were positive for traces of fentanyl. this information is just especially devastating because two years ago, my older sister was the perfect mom. they’re currently in the custody of another family member, but my brother in law has lovingly shared with his facebook friends that he’s going to steal the kids and flee the country. which is a really smart thing to do btw, announce to a few hundred people that you intend to commit a crime!! anyway. he also posted something else with implied intent to hurt or kill my mom, and joked that it was a shame that her suicide attempt a few years ago didn’t work.. so he’s just a really lovely person

it’s just heartbreaking that my niece and nephew have been affected by all of this in that way. i hoped so badly that the test would come back negative, but i guess at least it mobilized the court to facilitate a removal. so idk, my head is just kind of spinning still while i process it all lol

[apalestar]

So some of the older materials mention that elves typically don’t ‘die’ of old age but rather from being so tired of living they begin to fade. Astarion even if he is profanely sad can’t. The vampire curse prevents it. So he would just linger on or slip into a torpor.

[mandrakebrew]

i'm thinking about how my 30th birthday is coming up and

i really should do something special, it's fucking wild i'm still alive

i've dealt with suicidal ideation since middle school

i'm trans, adhd, and a csa victim, (plus all the emotional abuse and isolation) all things that increase suicide likelihood and i'm still somehow alive and i'm glad that i am

my partner of six years and best friend for over 10 ghosted me this year and i think that would have actually killed me if it happened just 2 years ago?

i kno things could get bad again but for now i'm okay and i'm glad to be alive

[ofpd]

the pinned messages in horrible exr fic book club groupchat <3

(most important & most egregious one under the cut)

[yungcrybby-anonymousbosch666]

being a black female and liking mainstream/"white" things is a death sentence because it guarantees you'll always be alone.

can't really relate to the likes of other black people and feel uncomfortable because of it

will never be accepted or welcomed by non-black people

this is why i was suicidal. there was no way out and i'm pretty sure there still isn't. i've been so traumatized by both anti-black racism and being made fun of by other black people for not being black enough that i just prefer to never socialize.