#suic!de

[obsessionavecdescouteaux]

Kissing your neck as I glide my blade across your back, stomach, and thighs. Your body tenses, but you’ve been sad for what feels like an eternity. You find serenity in the abuse, as you’ve been numb for so long, disconnected from reality, my knife brings you back.

[girl-that-wants-to-die]

No one knows what it’s like

[kingcvtter]

I'm never getting out of this, am i? The only way out of this hell is death.

[tomscocksleeve]

You fool

Summary: Tom was your best friend and he had fallen in love with you but you were closed off permanently after traumatic events that happened

Paring: Tom Kaulitz x closed off fem reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings; depression, family issues, suicides

Tom was always over at your house. It made you feel ashamed and guilty, every time he was over your parents were screaming and fighting and the look he would give you made you agitated. To him the look he gave was a sincere sad look but to you it seemed like false pity. You hated it. You started resenting him almost. He would try to hug you or comfort you but you ended up pushing him away and the more you did the more his eyes became filled with a despair look in them. Fuck you thought to yourself. Are you being too mean? Should you let him hug you? You had all these thoughts rushing into your head so you caved in.

When he went to give you a hug you let him and he had the most purest gentle smile. It was beautiful, the way his lip ring glistened and the way his lips moved to the side a bit, he was beautiful. You tightened the hug slightly and you felt his muscular arms wrap around you. He whispered something but you were so lost in your own head to even acknowledge it. Fuck he was so precious and pure but you felt nothing for him. You couldn’t feel anything, after your mom and dad ruined your life at your old house your feelings and emotions began to die completely. You locked yourself in your room, you snapped back at them and even after all of this, in their eyes, you were nothing but a monster.

Few weeks later Tom had brought you to the hangout you and him always go to. You seemed uninterested and not phased by the fact he planned this. You were told about what his plans were, he was going to ask you out and then you were supposed to just jump in his arms and date him for eternity or whatever love bullshit he had in mind. You crossed your arms under your breasts and you stared at him with an almost robotic expression. “Y/n I-“ he started saying before you cut him off. “I know what this is, save it.” You spoke coldly. He seemed hurt, his eyes glistened with tears that had yet to fall. He wasn’t going to break down just yet though, you admired his will power. “You’re going to confess I already know this, your crush has been obvious and I don’t have any feelings for you.” You had the coldest look imaginable.

You started walking away saying nothing and he didn’t stop you. You could hear the soft sounds of crying as he tried to keep it together. You grabbed at your shirt as you felt your heart ache. What the fuck? You haven’t felt that feeling in so, so long. Why now? Why here? You started walking faster to get away from him. You couldn’t bear to look at him crying, you couldn’t stand him crying. If you did go back you’d end up insulting him. You hated being this way, but you didn’t know any other way to act.

It’s been a while since you and him had spoken. He seemed so depressed lately and you just became colder by the day. He hated how you became and he was going to let you go. On Thursday the 13th you stood up on a high building your hoodie was lying on the roof and you were on the edge. Cops were there and everyone gathered. You saw cameras and saw the camera lights flash. Bastards. Taking pictures like this was some documentary. Tom ran up pushing past all the police and cameras and he made it just as you turned to face your back from them prepared to die. “No.. please.” He said, his voice breaking just like his heart had. “You’re a fool Tom Kaulitz. Running up here like some fucking hero. Why.” “I love you y/n that’s why. I can handle your emotions I can handle all the pain you feel but please killing yourself in front of all these people isn’t worth it.” You didn’t listen to anything he had to say and you leaned your body off the building. As you fell nothing ran through your head except for his cries. And the next thing you know… everything went black.

You eventually saw Tom. He grabbed your hand as you stood in a field together, what was odd is that you hadn’t felt any pain, any anger. All of it was gone. You were wearing a white dress and your shoes were gone. Tom had his beautiful smile and he gave your hand a squeeze before he pulled you by the tree that you two always hung out at. You gave a soft smile and sat next to him and rested your head on his shoulder in that paradise.

“I’m with you now and forever y/n..”

Hey guys! So I’ve been feeling a little numb and sort of depressed lately so I wanted to write some angst and if it wasn’t obvious Tom also killed himself but you don’t know that you just know he showed up with you.

[someguy404]

scared of dying, tired of living

[maxyap5]

“If you’re trans you have to live” I didn’t ask to be trans, I don’t want my existence to be a form of rebellion. I didn’t ask for any of this, I just want to be a normal teenager who does normal teenage stuff but I can’t without worrying about someone ending my life.

[alexand3rwrites]

letters

⚠️ Trigger Warning: the following writing entry contains allusions to and mentions of su!c!de, so please proceed accordingly. i am so sorry if you can relate, and i want you to know that you are loved, and that you are so, so strong ❤️‍🩹

preface: this one's for those with broken hearts. as we've so hauntingly come to learn, love truly does kill.

When you left–when my lifeline was cut–my heart stopped beating. The stars fell from the sky, and the sun died. The darkness consumed everything, and it felt as if it’d be like that forevermore.

I planned to end my life, which meant simply stopping my heart, for my being was no more, and I was nothing more than a walking corpse. I planned to swallow the little purple pills, and fall into an eternal sleep. You can never say I didn't fight to be alive again, because you don't know what it’s like–what it’s like to be given wings, and the ability to soar, only to plummet to Earth when you’re at your highest. I searched for the lights in the mist, but there were none. So then, I wrote my letters. I immortalized my last bits of hope and sunshine, if any, and gave those who claimed to love me something to remember me by. But Death is funny, you see, and doesn’t like to be chased. It prefers to do the chasing, like a shadow that looms, but doesn’t allow itself to be captured. So in one moment I was looking into the eyes of Death, and in the next, I was watching the sun set on a lake. Death departed, and with it, the everlasting darkness that you brought to my life. My letters were burned, and the pills forgotten. Light had been renewed. 

I thought that loving you was like chasing fireflies–beautiful but fleeting–and I was right. Fireflies glow, and they stop, leaving darkness in their wake. But, as I've so hauntingly come to learn, the sun will rise again. So now, I do not address letters to my loved ones, or those that I planned to leave. Instead, I hope that one day you’ll be the one writing, addressing letters to my scars, and to the burns from the fires that had adorned my life. Address them to the holes in my butterfly wings, that took away my ability to fly. Address them to the boy whose heart you shattered, leaving him with no other option but to write letters.

[girl-that-wants-to-die]

Why can't it go deeper

[kingcvtter]

Sui attempt tonight, yall.

Imma take a bath and try for a vein in my upper arm.

That would mean I'm on my second attempt this month, but the first was fucking pathetic, so I'm not counting it.

[unachicacualquieraescribiendo]

Hoy volvió a mi ese sentimiento de descenso, ese sentir de partir, de huir, de simplemente no existir.

Y tengo miedo, miedo de caer en ese pozo sin fin, de caer y saber lo que me espera en el fondo, miedo de no saber si esta vez podré levantarme, miedo de darme cuenta que lo extrañaba, ese maldito miedo a mis pensamientos que solo quiere carcomerme la mente y dejarme desolada.

Y ahora me encuentro en la deriva, y puedo ver como mi alma se aleja de mi cuerpo, me estoy dejando ir una vez más.

[someguy404]

Does anyone know how to be sent to a mental hospital??? I don’t mean this in an attention seeking way.

I’m a minor and I can’t admit myself, I’m too scared to call a hotline, and my family doesn’t notice anything— even my multiple attempts.

I know some r not the best places to be but I genuinely can’t keep myself safe anymore. Pls help.

[s1llythoughts]

I hate October. I hate her. I hate knowing I’ll never get better. It’s been two years since she sa’d me. I have only gotten worse, it’s so isolating.

[ronyway]

Httyd headcanon!

Hiccup has always been suicidal from a young age though he never attempted. After meeting Toothless it got smaller but never left.

A part of why he made the wingsuit was if he ever did attempt it by jumping off a cliff, he would have a last-minute resort to live because he knew Toothless might not always be there and he couldn't burden Toothless with having to save him all the time.

[nothereforawhile]

No one ever hears me.

Whenever I speak no one pays attention.

When I talk about death it goes unnoticed.

I don’t want to exist anymore.

[od-realnienie]

why is it so hard to breathe tonight

[tomscocksleeve]

The urge to get worse is so fucking strong right now. I need to get a fucking job so I can buy pills and kms I’m so fucking sick and tired of this. And I’m gonna start replacing people especially when they don’t text.