#suffering from paranoia | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

teteminne · 1 year ago

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Watching Hannibal 3b and i kept thinking about how there was something different about it. I couldn't quite put my finger on it even though I knew - and then it fully hit me. This part of the show is actually disturbing, at least to me. Like, the rest of the show was no walk on the park, of course, but season 3b is actually like, psychologically disturbing to me. It is actually fucking me up. I literally had a nightmare last night and couldn't sleep until dawn because of it, and today, watching ep. 10, 11 and 12, I am feeling once again that slimy feeling of unease, and fear. I'm looking at my dark house, a fully grown adult, and the dark is scaring me, like something is looking back. The first season of the show made me paranoid, as all crime media always does - whenever I see shit about serial killers I get paranoid as fuck, can't help it - but season 3b is actually disturbing me, this shit is in a whole other level.

Anyway, off to finish ep. 12 :)

#hannibal #im not gonna sleep tonight again #i just KNOW IT #also ehy didnt anyone tell me that Molly actually slaps like #im loving this woman she is so amazing #a queen through and through #idk how im gonna manage to leave my apartment to smoke my little pre-bedtime cigarette in the back open corridor #now that im afraid of my own shadow and all #but im still gonna keep watching it #cause like #how can i not?#bedelia and will's scene followed by jack and hannibal's hit me like a fucking train #this shot is too good to miss just cause of silly little things #like being psychologically disturbed #suffering from paranoia #and being struck by cripplingly terrifying nightmares

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cutter-kirby · 3 months ago

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one of my favorite things to come out of the book of bill is all of the bill possessing ford content. like both in canon and in fanworks. bipper did something irrevocable to me back in 2014 but ciphord/bord is such a unique clusterfuck of possession horror and it haunts me.

#one of the things to come out apart from bill HEYO *slaps knee*#anyway to quote that infected paul post it's about the fight for control #most possession situations are one-and-done but ciphord is constant #and i can't really think of anything like it #there's just something about it #this entity that you thought was your friend can and will take over and torment you. no way of knowing what he's doing with your body #dealing with the fact that you let it in. you blame yourself for being so foolish #waking up with blood on your hands and threats written over the walls #the paranoia the struggle the horrors the betrayal the sharing a body with someone who wants you to suffer #and also 'i removed the word burden from your vocabulary and replaced it with sea otter!'#gravity falls #tbob spoilers #the book of bill #ciphord #bord #i loooooove ciphord please recommend me fics that dive into how fucked up it is

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greensaplinggrace · 3 months ago

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im going insane btw jon was literally right. tim's so angry at him for how he acted paranoid out of his mind and like. i get it. but jon was right. sasha was a doppleganger!! his boss is a manipulative cunt that is trying to end the world! people are quite literally out to fucking get him!! like tim i get it i get it but are you aware of the genre you're in im alskdjflk

#im sorry but they were supposedly friends #jon shows all the signs of suffering from extreme mental illness with symptoms of heavy paranoia #and acts like he's being fucking gaslit - because he is #and then he's RIGHT #about the people close to them being out to get them!#and at the end of the day tim can't get over it?#this would ABOLUTELY be a forgivable offense if this was my friend like on what fucking planet #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tim stoker #tma lb #sorry its just like jon is LITERALLY going insane and tim is just like 'everyone is experiencing this get over it'#GIRL?!?#NO THEY'RE NOT?!!?#was it YOUR predecesser found shot dead??#which btw YOUR BOSS DID #SO JON WAS RIGHT #you just discovered you have been tricked into an eldritch horror's twisted 5d chess game w other eldritch horrors #and you're upset about some totally justifiable paranoia #i can't deal with this

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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago

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catch me looking up nightingale symbolisms for tales of the passerine. if danny's using the name of a songbird for a hero name, regardless of familial connections, i will utilize the symbolism tied to the bird. Anyways general gist of the nightingale symbolism i've seen, other than what wikipedia told me, is that nightingales were frequently symbolisms of spring renewal, loss/death, love, etc. catch me about to incorporate music into Danny's character

#dpxdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #tales of the passerine au #musician danny ftw. as someone who loves music i am more than happy to make this boy a frequent singer. this au is still baby #i can squeeze singer/musician danny in pr easily.#some favorite lines i saw while looking for symbolisms is that nightingales in roman culture were associated with venus and were also said #to provide comfort in the hours of darkness. eh eh? i saw a summary that in chinese folklore they were seen as symbols of hope #it didn't specify which dynasty but it did say it was a famous tale. cite also mentioned that in John Keats' “Ode to a Nightingale”#the bird’s enchanting song transports the poet to a world of transcendent beauty providing a temporary escape from the suffering and imperm #anyways looks like nightingales in gist symbolize comfort in dark times among other things #while robins in gist symbolize renewal. celebration of life. good luck. rebirth.#nightingale's color scheme in my mind is very much a dark purple-blue and black. maybe some gray too.#he'll probably try and ditch the black and white just out of paranoia. argh i need to come up with a suit design nooooo. superhero suit #design is my weakkkest design skill. have to balance between practical and a unique silhouette thats in line with their character.#esp since danny's not using his ghost half to be nightingale -- way too risky. also not using his powers/using them very little.#maybe i can work in an ocarina batman reference lmaoo. i can lean into comic/cartoon realism and have fun with that. as a treat

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pisshandkerchief · 2 months ago

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I've been working on combining the Gravity Falls art style with my own to improve my fan art. have a Dipper and Mabel!

#I'm actually quite proud of these they turned out a lot better than I was expecting #the Mabel sweater was initially inspired by a jacket I saw when I was zoning in the Walmart kid's section the other day #it had some definite nineties influence and looked a lot like something Mabel would wear #but as I drew it it ended up looking nothing like the actual reference and just became its own thing lol. I like this one I made up better #it was very important to me to preserve Dipper's perpetual stressed expression.#I also constantly looked like I was suffering from an ulcer at 12. I had anxiety. I had paranoia. I get him #my art #gravity falls #mabel pines #dipper pines

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cluescorner · 7 months ago

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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

#arlecchino #genshin impact #pierro #WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty #I'm so fucking confused #Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP #She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking #care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to #prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different #she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm #IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS #That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you #shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around #so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines #kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it #she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to #the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff

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painted-bees · 8 months ago

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raf being the source/butt of all my dumb weed jokes because he's a massive fucking stoner

but also raf being the most hard-working, put together, and responsible member of the trio

is one of my favorite things about him lmao

#he loves his shitty star shaped shades for many reasons and among them is the fact that they hide his eyes when they're a bit red😂#if he knew he suffered paranoia before he started smoking weed he woulda never started #but now his paranoia gets way worse if he goes too long without a smoke--which prevents him from committing to...quitting lmao rip rip rip

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healingwgabs · 1 year ago

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idk who needs to hear this but the necessary time you spent and things did while recovering from varying delusions, in order to be a functional person, is time not wasted <3

#delusion recovery #severe depression #psychotic depression with anxious distress #depression with psychotic features #you are not low functioning you're suffering from something severe #guilt delusions #delusions of persecution #bipolar depression #schizoaffective disorder #schizophrenia #bpd psychosis #bpd paranoia #major depressive disorder #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #bipolar mania #anti capitalism #anti oppression

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hussyknee · 11 months ago

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"We don't hate Jews and fight them because they are Jews. Jews are people of a religion, and we are people of a religion. We love all people of different religions. My brother even if he is my brother and he is a Muslim—if he steals my house and kicks me out, I will resist him."

— Sheikh Ahmed Ismail Hassan Yassin, founder of Hamas.

#yes the 1988 charter is very fundie islamic and uses an antisemitic hadith. it has been changed #but you cannot possibly treat antisemitism as something separate from the geo-political character of the situation #hate as a reaction to oppression vs hate as a reaction to paranoia. one is human the other is always a deflection from the legitimate threat #there's really no point asking colonizers to feel the suffering of the colonized #or to treat them as human beings who wouldn't make these choices if anything else had ever worked #none of the people criticising armed revolt and suicide attacks consider how intolerable the occupation must be to prefer death #how armed rebellion is the choice made between dying a victim and dying a fighter #i am literally the last person to advocate for armed rebellion until and unless every other option is exhausted #the same value for human life that makes violence the last resort must embrace violence when it is the last resort #decolonization #free palestine #hamas #glory to the resistance #knee of huss

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roseverdict · 7 months ago

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"my adult children are lazy and have no dreams and are perfectly content to leech off of me their entire lives!" no!!! you dipshit!!!!! they're several diagnosed types of mentally ill each, unmedicated for all of them through no choices of their own, unable to go anywhere outside the house without parental permission or assistance*, and have repeatedly been outright mocked by you for expressing joy at things they like and jobs they want to have while you claim to always support them!!!!!!! you cannot treat them as failures of completely fine and fully-autonomous adults when you never even finished teaching them the things you think every teenager should learn!!!!!!!!!

*: and even then they're chafing badly enough that they are pushing for ways to work around you! to escape you!!! once they can pedal a bicycle for further than a mile without going into Goddamn cardiac arrest it's fucking over for you!!!!!

(EDIT BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE THIS HERE BUT ALSO UM: yall ever feel like you're engaged in a cold war that's never actually been declared? bc the increased aggression in the passive-aggressive texts over the past 24 hours (DESPITE the fact that most stuff from the last batch was in fact addressed in a timely fashion) has me like 👁️👁️. mom, dad, if you're reading this, you know you can talk to me like the 24-year-old human person i am, right? not treat me like an impudent teenager who doesn't deserve to make their own choices and should be grateful to even be living with you, then get frustrated when i'm making angry vent-like posts online?)

#rosie rambles #rosie rants #'hurr durr im a good parent bc my kids never ran off to live under a bridge for a winter rather than deal with me'#THE BAR IS IN THE OCEAN. DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF.#and this isn't even getting into. you know. the garbage fire of endless fake job advertisements.#i think that if i can figure out a way to get employed at home. i will tell my brothers. but not my parents. and just suffer the shame #until i have enough saved to move somewhere and support myself while i get driving lessons and hopefully get a dinky lil smartcar or smth #the dream is having mom and dad dial back the constant passive-aggression but the realistic dream is eventual no-contact #idk. might delete later. might not. i'm just very tired all the time #i just. it feels like they want live-in housecleaners obligated to do as told while also shaming us for going along w/ that.#and also shaming us for not wanting to do that? araraararrrgh (derogatory)#(ADDING W/THE EDIT: i THOUGHT there was a mutual understanding of #'yeah this is my online username but its necessary for everyone to have a space away from their parents sometimes'#connecting unrelated dots or paranoia? fuck if i know)

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strongforked · 2 days ago

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not ppl starting the "delete your period app" baloney again

First off, if you're that nervous find an app like clue which is what i use that has it written in their clause that they legally can't share data which is what i do because i'm neurotic and need it in writing so at least I have something to point to if it ever was used against me in court

on top of that, half the time i forget to put my shit in i don't understand how an app would be used as a viable piece of evidence. especially if you're someone like me whose period is erratic. sometimes its guesses are wrong even if you have a stable period.

just stop freaking people out christ. like i'm just as worried about an abortion ban but there's no need to cause panic and spread misinformation

#this is not about mutual btw if you rebooted that other post i know you did it out of care for your fellow people with utetuses #this is about the people behind the fear mongering #not making this rebloggable bc i'm sensitive and i know someone with a big following would beat me up and be like #'um actually u don't care about women'#i am a women first of all #i'm also one who suffers from paranoia so i know how frightening fear mongering is and how it can fuck people like me up

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juice-boxy · 2 years ago

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Mayhaps a Donnie under a blanket or weighted plush (I could see him with a weighted dinosaur plush personally). Either just snoozing or working on a new build?

As someone who got a weighted Dino plush recently and as a donnie kinnie this made me RLLY happy to get in my ask box, Ty graph<3

#I highly reccomend getting one to anyone who suffers from paranoia or dissociation like I do #REALLY helps to ground/stay present…plus very cute and comfy #projecting on Donnie bc he is just like me fr<3 #juiceboxy_art???#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt donnie #juiceboxy and friends #LOVED this ask Tysm kisses your forehed

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puppypawprince · 1 month ago

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any mutuals (and followrs too) that wanna friend me on games

sitcomstar on roblox

thegoldenmile on animal jam

also thegoldenmile on webkinz but i havent logged in for ages .... my poor animals

#id prefer you tell me who you are if you dont share a username with your url #<- suffers from severe paranoia about everything ever

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knock-out-not-knockout · 2 months ago

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Don’t listen to the ominous messages, they’re just messing with you. You guys have made it this far together, you’ll be just fine!

Thanks. Although Breakdown doesn't view my blog often I know they'd give him anxiety.

#Asks #My partner #He already suffers from paranoia I don't want it made worse.

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triglycercule · 2 months ago

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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients #i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE #i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all #do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR #i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like #i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts #too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it #oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys #or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts #quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose #my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags #tricule rant #i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls #like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff #i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened #its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations #anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic #even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES #anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real #and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages #the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them #everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust #he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M #i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me #i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation #and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY #it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today

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selfmaderibcageman · 3 months ago

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i've often considered that i may just be deeply antipsych and anti-medication because my own problems simply aren't so bad that i'm nearly dying of them. but they are definitely actively disrupting my life. i think i'm qualified to speak on this & hold such a position.

#i would rather suffer from extremely unjustified paranoia about a large number of things than take anything #i do at least know my paranoia isnt founded.#doesnt stop me from feeling it though.

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