#sue ryder

[venusimleder]

Dazed & Confused, October 1994.

“Preservation Vamp”

Ph. Donna Trope

[stillunusual]

WARSAW’S URBAN SCENERY

Skwer Sue Ryder

Sue Ryder was born in Leeds on 3rd July 1924.

During the Second World War she joined the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry (FANY) and was then assigned to the Polish section of the Special Operations Executive, where she served until the end of the war.

Ryder worked with the Cichociemni (“silent and unseen”) - the elite special operations group of the Polish resistance movement - and even drove them to the airport when they flew out on their missions.

After the war she organised humanitarian aid for Poland, and established charitable organisations, notably the Sue Ryder Foundation (now known as simply "Sue Ryder"). She was made a life peer on 31st January 1979, and adopted the title "Baroness Ryder of Warsaw". In Poland she was made an honorary citizen of Warsaw, Konstancin-Jeziorna and Gdynia.

Ryder died on 2nd November 2000 in Bury St Edmunds.

[insidecroydon]

Four Croydon's MPs vote for controversial Assisted Dying Bill

Film star Adam Pearson says he is ‘heartbroken’ by Commons vote: ‘We have a government who are willing to help disabled people die whilst doing nothing to help them live’ Concerns remain: Labour’s Sarah Jones says she has reservations about the Assisted Dying Bill, but still voted in favour All four of Croydon’s MPs – three Labour, one Conservative – voted in favour of the Terminally Ill Adults…

[grimbothefool]

you get TWO cowboys today

[crowwfed]

Redesigned my pony sona :)

Creature Feature, usually called just Creed, is a pretty laid-back unicorn who lives on the edges of town. His special talent is archeology and anthropology and he usually spends his time digging up and displaying artifacts. He lets people come and look at them for free (I imagine he has a lot of respect for other cultures so he doesn’t display anything belonging to anyone else. He also doesn’t touch anything resembling graves :)

His magic is relatively below average but he mainly only needs it to hold tools, books, or a bong. He also keeps his tail tied up and out of the way and he also uses it as a brush to gently brush away dirt or dust. He also just really likes worms.

He comes from unicorn parents but his dad’s side has earth pony genes, giving Creed his more bulky, earth pony body type. He’s pretty strong and can put up a good fight if he needs to!

And here’s Oliver and Ryder as ponies, just for fun! :) they had designs a while back (not sure if I shared those here?) but they were really ugly. I like these ones much better!

Early Riser, also known as Prince Riser, is the alicorn prince of springtime and youth. He embodies the spirit of being young, carefree, and spending everyday seizing opportunity and being happy. Born a Pegasus with two sets of wings, he has never been able to fly. He was born into a royal, well-off family of incredible fliers. Early on in his life, Riser was greatly disheartened by his inability to fly with the other foals his age. That is until he found a mysterious egg in the woods! After earning his horn and becoming a prince alicorn, Riser spends his days with his brother and bodyguard Iver Inkwell, finding new ways to capture the spirit of youth and inspire ponies and creatures of all ages to enjoy every sunny and rainy day!

Iver Inkwell is an unusual sight. He is a mix between a Pegasus pony and griffin. His parents unknown, he was discovered as an egg by a little Early Riser and taken back to the wealthy colt’s family. From there, he hatched and his new family adopted him as one of their own. Iver was also only born with one right wing, rendering him flightless. As an adult, he is now, officially the bodyguard and adopted brother Prince Riser and stays by his side almost 24/7 (though, he would’ve probably done that anyway). He’s also a poet and writes angsty poems at night. Iver is a bit of the pessimistic side and often seems to appear as Prince Riser’s mysterious, shadowy bodyguard. But get talking to him and it turns out he’s just autistic and usually prefers to listen until he feels he has something he must say. He doesn’t like to make idle chatter, but he’ll listen to others ramble for hours.

They are brothers and they are flightless and they are best friends forever :)

[arizonaaaaaa]

Glee cast sings Cheek to Cheek, a collaborative album by Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett

I wasn’t going to do this one and Love For Sale as they don’t have any original songs, but I love Gaga a lot so here you go, also since these are essentially covers of the original versions I won’t have a lot to say unlike the other albums, enjoy

Anything Goes (originally from “Anything Goes”) sung by Harmony in “The Purple Piano Project”

-this was sung in a mash-up with Anything You Can Do from “Annie Get Your Gun”, this mash-up is incredible, better than the two originals, Harmony was probably the biggest waisted opportunity glee ever had, she’s in the same level of singer as Sunshine and Unique like, girl, take a breath

Cheek to Cheek (originally from “Top Hat”) sung by Sue and Will in “Puppet Master”

-I don’t have a lot to say about this song, the Tony-Gaga version is sweet and very happily, the glee version is also sweet but a lot calmer, we all know Matthew is a good singer but Jane Lynch rocks these slower songs, I also like the montage being all black and white, although Sue Sylvester wearing a dress is still cursed to me

Don’t Wait Too Long (originally by Madeleine Peyroux) sung by Santana Lopez in season 4

-this could be sung either on “Thanksgiving” since the songs covers autumn a lot or in that one episode where it’s snowing and they’re trapped in the apartment which name I don’t remember, this would simply be Santana singing about Brittany, and due to Santa Baby existing we know she can do jazz quite good, there’s also a lyric that reads: “So while my heart’s gay and foolish” and I couldn’t stop laughing

I Can't Give You Anything But Love (originally by Jimmy McHugh and Dorothy Field) sung by Blaine and Rachel

-this would be one of the anderberry siblings duets, the vibe of the song really fits the play in “Extraordinary Merry Christmas” but since it isn’t a festive song it could be sung any other time, I don’t remember if these two sung jazz before on the show but they are a powerful duo when it comes to singing so I’m sure they would do good

Nature Boy (originally by Eden Ahbez) sung by Rory Flanagan

-yay first Rory song in these posts, jazz and calmer songs are just his vibe, that’s why he was never included in the previous posts, next album is a country one, let’s see if he appears, anyway, the boy described in the song is just Rory, a boy who wandered land and sea, shy and sad in the eye, that’s my baby boy being described, I also love the flute in the song

Goody Goody (originally by Matty Malneck and Johnny Mercer) sung by Blaine Anderson with Santana Lopez

-this song is a little funny, Tony is the one who does the singing while Gaga just talks in the song, I can totally see Blaine singing this happily and catchy song with his doggy personality while Santana would be the one saying the snarky stuff with her wet cat personality, there’s also a line saying “I’m not a goody I’m a baddy” and it’s so cringe I want to hear Santana saying this

Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye (originally by Cole Porter) sung by Rachel Berry

-this song, unlike most of them , is a Gaga solo, she sings it so peacefully that it reminded me of Rachel’s version of “You are Woman, I Am Man”, which she sang very quietly and peacefully-like, the lyrics fit Rachel’s season 4-5 relationship with Finn, either missing him after their break-up in season 3 or in her denial stage of her grief

Firefly (originally by Cy Coleman) sung by Jane and Mason

-Rory and season 6 newbies on GleeXGaga? Didn’t see that coming. This would be just a silly little duet between the two, both have very strong voices so I don’t think this would be all too hard for them, in fact, I think Mason would kill this song, Jane wouldn’t be too far behind, I’m just not sure if she can sing jazz

I Won’t Dance (originally by Jerome Kern) sung by Mike and Tina in season 3

-this is peak Tike, Mike’s raspy voice would do Tony’s parts well, and Gaga’s parts surprisingly fits Tina’s range, I can totally see them tap dancing around the choir room, out of all couples I think they’re the ones who deserved more duets and singing in general, I mean, it wasn’t until this season that Mike sung in more than 5 songs

They All Laughed (originally from “Shall We Dance”) sung by Matt and Mike

-oh that’s a stretch, so, Matt Rutherford, a character that never sung in the show, why do I see him and Mike singing this? Well, first, there are videos of Dijon singing and he sounds decent enough to deserve a song on the show, second, even tho the song is a romantic duet I can see something similar to “These Boots are Made for Walkin’” from the glee project, where a song with a specific meaning got turned into a dumb-duo song, that’s what I’m going for

Lush Life (originally by Billy Strayhorn) sung by Quinn Fabray in season 1

-Quinn is a very complex character with several different layers, I think her sadness wasn’t really explored in the show, not in a serious way at least, another thing that wasn’t explored was her loneliness, especially during season 1, sure she was popular and I guess Santana and Brittany were her friends but that girl was lonely, not until Mercedes and her became besties

Sophisticated Lady (originally by Duke Ellington) sung by Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman in season 1

-now that I’m thinking about it, Sophisticated Lady kind of goes along with Lush Life, deep inside, Puck was the one that truly knew Quinn, he loved her and always respected her, the song is kind of a POV of a secret admirer seeing his beloved from afar, knowing how she is sad and lonely, but due to respect for her, won’t come near, in Puck’s case, Quinn is expecting his kid, but he respects her and agrees with her lying about the pregnancy, even tho he wants to be present

Let's Face the Music and Dance (originally from “Follow the Fleet”) sung by Holly and Will

-this duo is fire, I already knew Matthew was a terrific singer who could play with melodies and such, but Gwyneth was a surprise, after their tango rendition of Kiss I stopped expecting anything, I knew they would surprise me, well, the surprise never happened, but perhaps this could be it, I really like Holly’s character and I wouldn’t mind if she was a co-coach to the New Directions, definitely more duets from these two would appear

But Beautiful (originally by Jimmy Van Heusen) sung by Adam, Brody, Kurt and Rachel in season 4

-I don’t have a lot to say on this one, Brochel’s duets were always above average for me, Brody has a very good range that I would like to see more of, Adam really only sang once, and his relationship with Kurt was very insignificant, so perhaps a double duet between these 4 would make me care for him

It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing) (originally by Duke Ellington) sung by Ryder and Unique

-Rynique my babes, what would I give to see a relationship between you two, I’m fine with a second duet tho, Unique would kill this song so hard I don’t think I would recover, Ryder could be a hit or miss tho, he has a very raspy voice that could do good here, but it’s kind of hard to be good when Unique next to you, it’s not really balanced

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) (originally by Cher) sung by Rachel Berry in season 1

-this would be her singing about her relationship with Jesse, how he used her and ended up breaking her heart, as if he (babe) had shot her down and left her to die

On A Clear Day (You Can See Forever) (originally from “On A Clear Day You Can See Forever”) sung by Will Schuester

-this wouldn’t have any secret meaning beneath the lyrics, it would be just Mr Schue happily singing a song as old as time, maybe this could be a song where Sue would appear and just tell him he sucks or something

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (originally from “Pal Joey”) sung by Mercedes Jones

-this could be either Mercedes singing about one lovely simp Sam Evans or the stud Noah Puckerman everyone says it’s using her but she knows he ain’t, she’s in love either way

The Lady's in Love with You (originally by Burton Lane) sung by Sebastian Smythe with the Warblers

-this would be simply one of those performances the warblers do whenever Blaine decides to go over there, it would be charming and somewhat endearing but nothing all to special, damn these last songs sure are hard to write about

The Lady is a Tramp (originally from “Babes in Arms”) sung by Mercedes and Puck in “Laryngitis”

-this duet is so underrated, this isn’t Mercedes best song I’ll admit but Puck sounds terrific, top 3 best songs for him, who would guess the bad boy punk-ish boy with the mohawk would be so good singing jazz

And that’s another wrap, it was a little harder thinking about characters and situations where all of this could happen but I ended up liking it a lot, next one we will go back to the standard albums with Joanne ;)

[wipbigbang]

WIP BIG BANG SIGN-UPS ARE LIVE!

The 2024 round of WIP Big Bang is now open for sign-ups! Any fandom is welcome, as long as the fic is 500 completed so far and will be at least 7,500 words upon its finishing. Signing up is easy: just fill out the form linked below after you read the FAQ and take a look at the schedule.

[homosandhomies]

My favorite solo from each main character on glee (because why not)

SUE: Vogue. “WILL SCHUESTER I HATE YOU”

KURT: Rose’s Turn. Chris Colfer rarely got songs that highlighted ALL his vocal strengths. This song used everything. He had a strong head voice, an amazing mix, and he can EMOTE WITH EVERY INCH OF HIS LIFE. No wonder he got the Golden Globe.

QUINN: This Is A Man’s World. This scene is ridiculous, but out of context the song absolutely slaps. Diana can BELT and she deserved to do it more.

ARTIE: Stronger. Probably my favorite Britney song. Kevin ate. That is all.

PUCK: Only the Good Die Young. This song is so fun and I think Puck’s voice is very underrated. A good ol’ jam. Thank you for repping the Jewish community king ❤️

WILL: Sway. It’s a shame that we never talk about his voice because HOLY SHIT MATTHEW MORRISON IS INCREDIBLE. This man is so talented and we never acknowledge it because of Will Schuester’s shenanigans.

BLAINE: Somewhere Only We Know. You can hate Blaine all you want but you can’t deny the POWER of this song. The love in his eyes is sickening I am not okay right now

FINN: I’ve Gotta Be Me. Given the fact that Cory didn’t have any singing experience before, this song makes me so fucking happy because you can see how much he had grown as a singer, but also how proud he was of himself! Look at him go!!! (Bonus: If I’m bending the rules in terms of what qualifies as a solo I would 100% make his Paradise By the Dashboard Light. That was his undoubtedly his very best vocal performance. It’s SO FUCKING GOOD it makes me go batshit.)

RACHEL: My Man. “She may be difficult but boy can she sing.”

BRITTANY: Run the World. The dancing is definitely the more impressive part of this number, but it still sounds great! This song really highlighted Heather’s strengths, when most of her songs weren’t very memorable in my opinion.

MIKE: Cool. Maybe Tina should be a professional vocal coach because damn look at him go!! Idk why an Asian kid wanted to play the role of a leader of a white supremacist group but at least he sounds great 🤷‍♀️

MERCEDES: I Will Always Love You. Literally every single Mercedes song is perfect, so this was the hardest one for me. This means I had to base it on acting. And she DELIVERS here. It should be illegal to be this talented.

TINA: Because You Loved Me. The fact that this is one of TWO solos that Jenna actually got to finish infuriates me. She was ROBBED because she is an amazing singer.

SANTANA: Nutbush City Limits. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MISS NAYA RIVERA. HOLY SHIT. Finn saying before the song, “They say that true divas aren’t really mortal” is so true. This woman was an absolute icon and I will always be blown away by her talent.

JAKE: Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself). It’s so EARNEST and HEARTFELT and Jacob Artist popped off with the acting. And the falsetto!! God it’s just beautiful.

EMMA: Getting Married Today. This is a trio, not a solo, but it’s so fucking good that I HAD to do it. That is literally one of the hardest female songs on Broadway, and for some reason they had Jayma sing it even FASTER than the original version? I can’t imagine the stress of trying to do that, but she was perfect.

SAM: Copacabana. This is just a really fun song! Everyone’s having a good time and Chord sounds amazing.

RYDER: Your Song. This is my favorite Elton John song, and boy was it done justice. The acting is really good in this scene. The mix of anxiety and earnestness coming from Ryder is adorable. He had great chemistry with whoever that girl was. (On a storyline note, I hated how this all developed though. If it had gone my way, Unique would confess it was her, then Ryder would sing this directly to Unique.)

KITTY: Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours. I just really like this number. Obsessed with Becca’s high notes.

MARLEY: Wrecking Ball. The cheating storyline with Bree was so fucking stupid and shouldn’t have happened. That being said, Melissa ATE what they gave her and left zero crumbs. She really came in like a wrecking ball.

UNIQUE: I Know Where I’ve Been. THIS SONG MAKES ME GO FUCKING CRAZY!!! THE TRANS CHOIR!!!! THE ACTING!!!!! THE FUCKING HIGH NOTE!!!!!! IT’S JUST SO GOOD I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!!!!! This is the best part of season 6, full stop. THE most underrated Glee song ever. I will not accept criticism towards this opinion.

[mymanyfandomramblings]

Gleecap 4x16--Feud

This feud is bringing out the worst in Schue, but...understandable

How did the students find out about the kiss?

Also, I love that Blartina are the leaders of the New Directions and are conducting the intervention. Blamtina might be the Harry, Ron and Hermione of McKinley, but Blartina are the new captains.

Also I love that O Fortuna (usually reserved for Sue's tantrums) is used for the feud

More supportive Santana! Yay! After watching Mash-Off yesterday it is so refreshing to see her being a great friend.

Rachel's not pregnant--not that I was seriously expecting her to be, but I am the weirdo who loves a good baby storyline, so I'm the teensiest bit disappointed

I don't like Brody--or where this is going--but the dance sequence in How To Be A Heartbreaker is funnn

Okay, wow, Rachel went off on those vocals! Stunnnninggg

Sue and her contracts--this woman is hilarious

The pan to Tina--and apparently even Sue didn't notice her. This is hilarious

I feel like Ryder is about to have a dangers-of-the-internet storyline. However, I am glad he's seeking someone else, and not hung up on Marley

Unique is a star!! I love how she has Marley's back

Bad move, Ryder. Bad move.

I feel like Finn is asking to get his feelings hurt here. He's sensitive.

Will's harsh--but somewhat right. Also I don't think he's being entirely honest about why he put Finn in charge--I think it's because he believes in what Finn can be capable of, but he's angry, so I get it.

The triumphant return of Santana's psychic Mexican Third Eye! It's official, I love S4 Santana

Whyyy is Sue so evil? I feel like her more batty schemes only make sense when she's feuding with Will specifically, and she's not supposed to be trying to destroy non-Will-entities lives. Then, it is S4, and they're probably running out of Sue ideas

Once more, Sue has invented a new minority to be

Once more Jake, Marley and Ryder--Most Reasonable Glee People Ever

Ryder drums?!? (now, I fail to see him as Finn 2.0--they're different characters, but the drumming is a very Finn thing to do)

Unique and her tiaras are so sweet! Especially how excited everyone else is about them

I do think Ryder can be a jerk, but I also think that he's just..struggling to wrap his head around Unique's gender--especially since so many people keep using he/him for Unique. Ryder just needs to be less pigheaded about it, and be willing to learn.

Becky's Nicki outfit is so cuuuute

I love whenever glee does those locker shots. They're such a fun framing device

"Don't apply logic to Lopez" SANTANA ily

Damn, Santana killed Coldhearted.

I love the guys being 'neutral backup dancers'

"Cool. Can we begin please." Kitty, I hate you, but that was excellent delivery

Sam is dressing exactly like Mike Chang--the vest + fedora combo is iconic

Wise words from Sam

Santana channeling Sue with her 'my breasts ache with rage' line

Sue's Super Bass is---I have no words whatsoever for it. Either that or many words, none of which I can articulate

"maybe you should go back to not speaking so freely' I am loving this Finn--Marley conversation so far.

Yesss! Teacher!Finn.

Once more, this batch of New Directions are so good at dealing with their dramas in a reasonable way.

Okay, Kitty is coming through for once.

Yes Blaine and Sam plotting!!

Santana is a criminal mastermind

It is beautifully unnerving how Finn smiles when he's mad

Sam's awkward dancing, my beloved!

Also I love Marley's dress in the final song

[burygods]

i’m more interested in gus and teddy than i am emmy and luke

[lily-orchard-archives]

August 1st, 2017

[jh-ph0tography]

[tuxedkitt]

I feel like there should be more Jack Ryder / The Creeper and Batman team ups because they are so good together. COMICS PLEASE!!

[anths-girl]

God, I watched this movie so much as a kid... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

WINONA RYDER as LYDIA DEETZ BEETLEJUICE (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[louisupdates]

INTERVIEW: Lottie Tomlinson: we lost our mum and sister. Louis saved me

At the age of 20, the sister of One Direction singer Louis had already lost her mother, Johannah, and sister Félicité. Now 25, the social media star has written a book about how they coped

Alice Thomson | Tuesday July 23 2024, 5.00pm BST, The Times

Losing Mum was so hard. I was only a teenager but at least I knew that her death was a possibility, even though she didn’t accept it. She was 47 and had cancer. But when my sister died three years later, I was on this hotel balcony in Bali and I was screaming, ‘No, my baby sister, no.’ The pain was indescribable. I kept thinking, ‘Why me? This can’t be happening again. When is this going to end?’ ”

We are sitting on Lottie Tomlinson’s immaculate white sofa in her pristine white house in Chislehurst, southeast London, where she is curled up in tiny shorts with a perfect tan and impeccably applied make-up. But her French manicured nails are digging so hard into the sofa I think they might snap, the heart tattoo on her minuscule wrist is throbbing and her eyelashes are clogged with tears.

Her life sounds blessed. The influencer has 4.8 million Instagram followers waiting for her to dispense advice on how to apply mascara; the fake tan brand, Tanologist, that she launched at 19 has gone global; and she has a devoted fiancé, Lewis Burton, who runs a luxury concierge business and whose former girlfriend was the late Caroline Flack. They have an adorable son called Lucky, who is dripping ice cream on her marble counters. Her new book is also called Lucky Girl; her older brother is Louis Tomlinson of One Direction and she was touring the world with the band as a make-up artist at 16.

But after her mother died when she was 18, Tomlinson was left looking after her younger sister and two sets of twin siblings, aged eight and two, while creating her businesses, and trying to process her grief. Her father had left their home in Doncaster years before after a battle with alcohol. “Dad had a drinking problem. We’d see glimpses of his good side but he let us down,” she says. “I ended up trying to take care of him rather than the other way round.”

When her mother died, life felt bleak, “I lost the one person who loved me unconditionally, and then when my sister Fizz [Félicité] died of an accidental overdose, I thought I could never be happy again,” she says. “I found the lead-up to Mother’s Day devastating without my sister as well. It was a constant reminder that I was now different from my friends. In my dreams, my mum was still there; she was alive. I woke up feeling comforted, only to realise that she’d gone.”

Tomlinson, who is now 25 and a patron of the bereavement charity Sue Ryder, moves easily between telling you how to apply the best tan and how to talk about death. She cares passionately about both subjects and takes them equally seriously, worried that I’ve never tried a bronzer or used foundation before asking how I coped when my mother died during the pandemic. Her soft Yorkshire accent is both reassuring and no-nonsense.

Born near Doncaster, she was only two when Fizz was born and six when the first twins arrived. “I’ve always been the big sister — Fizz and I each got one and then more twins six years later.” While Louis had his own space, the girls all shared one room with bunk beds. “It was chaos, but my mum, Johannah, was a midwife and loved being pregnant and having so many babies,” she explains. “I used to be in awe of the way she could feed the twins at once, one on each hip. She would do the night shifts, while I held the fort at home.”

Within a few years, Tomlinson would be touring America, Asia and Europe, flying first class with Louis, part of the biggest boy band in the world, but until she was 15, the family had only ever gone to France once a year all packed into a seven-seater car, with her mother’s new partner, snacks laid out in the middle. They stayed in a caravan park. On a Sunday, a treat was to go to their mother’s hospital to see the babies.

While Louis just wanted to sing, play the guitar and listen to Oasis, the girls were obsessed with make-up. “From the age of 12, I struggled academically, but I loved cropped clothes and my mum’s highlighters and mascaras.” She learnt how to apply everything from YouTube tutorials, rather than doing algebra. “We didn’t have much money — we sometimes couldn’t afford to top up the electricity meter so used candles — but everything my mum earned she spent on us. We all looked immaculate — I remember her being horrified when I dyed my hair orange. So it was lovely later when we could treat her.”

Saturday nights were spent watching The X Factor. “My mother and brother kept applying; in 2010, he got in and the whole family went for the audition. We believed in him, but we never thought it would go that far.” One day the family were going to the live shows, the next the boy band was formed with Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne. “He was 18. For my mum it was a big shock. It was all so sudden. The press and fans were in our front garden every day.”

The older twins had already made their first TV appearances — they sound like Doncaster’s Von Trapps. “My mother was gently pushy,” Tomlinson says, smiling at the thought. “When I didn’t get good enough GCSEs to stay at school, she sent me off to join Louis on tour as work experience. I was so scared. I remember her ringing up Lou [Teasdale], their hair and make-up artist, and saying, ‘Lottie has not got through to sixth form; she’s going to come and assist you.’ I was in the car going, ‘No, please don’t.’ But it ended up being the best thing that happened to me. I went for a week and stayed two years. Lou and I are still so close.”

Suddenly, the two eldest Tomlinson children were circling the world, eating room service and ducking the paparazzi hanging out of helicopters taking snaps. “At first Louis didn’t really want his little sister gate crashing his new rock-star life, but now it feels like the best time of our lives — we experienced that craziness together,” she says.

The teenage Tomlinson found it harder to cope with being photographed wherever she went. “I had some puppy fat which made me very self-aware, and the filler culture was coming in and I felt I had to look perfect.” She had her lips done first at 17. “Then I became addicted: cheek filler, jaw filler, more make-up, blonder hair, slimmer and more tanned. My mum thought I looked perfect, but I was always searching.”

Five years later, when she became pregnant with Lucky and her lips started to swell and crack, she realised she didn’t need the enhancements any more. “I had everything removed, the false eyelashes too. It was liberating.” She kept her boob job, however. “That was just enhancement,” she says laughing. “The rest radically changed the way I looked. My breasts also got huge when I was pregnant and it was a bit painful. But I still breastfed. I loved carrying my child. I felt fantastic even when I was sick and exhausted.”

She leans forward, wraps her bronzed arms around her stomach and whispers, “I am pregnant again. We don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl. It’s only 13 weeks, so this is the first time I’ve said it publicly. I think I want a big family. I loved having Lucky but after a year I wanted to give him siblings.”

Tomlinson’s influencer career began once she established herself on tour. Soon everything she did, even dying her roots rainbow-coloured, went viral and fashion companies from Asos to Dior wanted in on it. “I was just going for it. I couldn’t believe the money I was making and spending — money I didn’t know existed as a child.”

Then suddenly her mum came home from holiday with flu. “She didn’t want to get out of bed. The doctors quite quickly told her she had leukaemia and she went straight to London for treatment. It all happened so fast. I remember being in London at work and getting a call from her partner — she couldn’t say the words herself, it was too hard for her.” The family were told it was treatable. “We kept so much hope.”

Her mother asked the family to keep her illness secret. “It was hard because you feel so isolated, but I understood. Louis was in the public eye and she didn’t want him questioned. She was determined to fight it and didn’t want everyone pitying her. My friends noticed I was acting differently for a few months. But I wanted to respect her wishes. It was her one request.”

She also dropped everything to go back to Doncaster to help her grandparents with the twins. “The younger ones were two and I wanted to keep everything as normal as possible. I can’t imagine what my mum was feeling leaving her kids to go to hospital.

“I would take them down and treasure seeing her — we tried to keep it light, no serious conversation. The only way Mum could cope was to keep it normal. Then, when the doctors said the transfusions hadn’t worked, she came home to die.”

Tomlinson tries to sound matter-of-fact. “We went to see her in hospital in Sheffield and the next morning we woke up and were told she had died. We felt numb. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Now I am involved with the Sue Ryder charity, I am surprised we were offered no support or counselling at all, from the GP, the teachers, the professionals. They all kept away.” Her nan and grandad picked up the pieces.

It’s not surprising she can’t remember the funeral. “I just remember getting really drunk to numb the pain. I couldn’t come to terms with it. I can’t even remember how we organised it. My instinct was to take over as the eldest girl and step into my mum’s shoes so that is what I did.” Meanwhile, her older brother, who was launching his solo career, ensured there was enough money. “He’s incredibly generous. We looked after each other.”

Tomlinson returned to London months later, after her grandmother said she needed to become a role model for her siblings. Her younger sister Fizz worried her most. “She was very academic — she got straight A’s without trying — but she always said she felt different. She was bottling her grief for so long; it was too much and made her turn to other things. I think Mum’s death destroyed her. Only my mum seemed to understand her. If she had been offered some help at the start, things might have been different.”

Meanwhile, Tomlinson’s self-tanning brand was soon being sold in Los Angeles, New York and Australia, while her own fanbase grew; she hardly ever needed to pay for drinks, meals or holidays. However, she finds the term influencer obnoxious. “I don’t want to act like I tell people what to do. I am more of a content creator,” she explains. “I get paid by brands to create content for their clothes or beauty products and promote that to my followers. I also wanted my own business. I was quite aware that, at the end of the day, I was just working with an app. That’s why I started Tanologist with my business partner. I was always using tanning treatments that would end up turning my sheets orange and my face would break out in spots — this is more natural.”

Louis was also forging his career as a solo artist, eventually creating the song Two of Us about his mother’s death. “We were always so proud of Louis and what he was doing. We were not going to match up to being a global superstar, but we didn’t want to — ‘successful’ looks different for everyone,” she says.

But her sister Fizz was slipping and struggling. “She was old enough to do what she wanted at 19; she was partying and taking stuff to numb everything. She did go into rehab but to me it didn’t feel like an addiction problem, but a way to blank out her grief.” When Tomlinson was invited to Bali, she asked Fizz whether she wanted her to stay behind. “She said she was OK, and then it happened while I was away,” she says. (Fizz accidentally overdosed on cocaine, an anxiety drug and painkillers, her inquest found.) “Louis called me…” She stops talking.

The shock of a second death must have been devastating. She doesn’t speak for a minute while she twists her huge diamond engagement ring. “We weren’t mentally prepared,” she eventually says. “I can’t even remember if the two funerals were in the same church. I think grief has affected my memory a lot and that’s quite common. Grief is such a powerful emotion; it takes up a lot of your brain.”

Five years later, she now knows how to remain positive. “I had an amazing mum for 18 years. I have the most amazing family, my little boy and my career, and that is because of her. The same with Fizz — I had an amazing sister. It’s heartbreaking they aren’t with us any more, but they are together and they are looking out for me,” she says, sounding as though she is repeating a mantra.

Having a baby made her feel closer to them both. “He was a boy — it’s funny, he actually looks a lot like Louis did — and I thought, this is what my mother must have felt. But then I had so many questions I couldn’t ask, even more because she was a midwife.”

Her biggest problem was her terror that something terrible would happen to her son. “I became fixated [on the idea that] something bad would happen to him, so I couldn’t sleep. You go to the worst-case scenario, because that’s happened to you twice, to two of the closest people in your life. I couldn’t turn the lights off at night; I needed to see him all the time. Luckily, it calmed down quite quickly.”

We are still flitting between her story and advice on make-up, exercise and clothes.

“I like sharing advice. If a child lost their mother, I would say there is no magic answer. But the point of this book is to show that you can have tragic things happen and still keep going.”

What would the 25-year-old now say to her younger self, struggling at her second funeral at the age of 20? “I would say, ‘You are going to be OK; you will live a nice life.’ I didn’t think I could. I thought this will be a really sad, lonely life without my mum and sister. I wouldn’t have believed then that I could be happy again. But it would have been nice to hear.”

Lucky Girl by Lottie Tomlinson (Bonnier, £22). To order a copy go to timesbookshop.co.uk. Free UK standard P&P on orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members

[shiftythrifting]

This was just such a downbeat book - and quite macabre. I'm not surprised the staff displayed it prominently, it's an absolute conversation stopper, I reckon.

In the Sue Ryder charity shop, in Tavistock, UK.