#such an epic fight! great conversations! so good!

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Then, Can You make a fluff oneshot between Beidou and Make Reader with kuudere Personality and Cryo vision?

Beidou with a cold reader

characters: Beidou x gn!reader

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: I haven't written for Beidou in… a while. So if I got some aspects of her character wrong I’m really sorry! If it shouldn't be to your liking, tell me and I'll try again once I have the time/motivation!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Beidou

While you had your moments, your general attitude matched your vision to a tee. All in all, it was rare to see you wearing anything but a pokerface on your face, no matter if at a celebratory meal with the rest of the crew or while fighting monsters and storms on the sea, you remained unfazed, always looking disinterested and yet never refusing to participate in anything Beidou suggested.

Even if some outside observers might have found it difficult to imagine any reasons for two personalities as clashing as yours and your captain’s to get along as well as you did, Beidou herself could think of at least a dozen. From a professional standpoint having a number two as collected as you helped to balance out her… more enthusiastic personality. But there were also more than enough reasons for the two of you to get along well in private. Including but not limited to:

No matter how uninterested you looked, you were still a great listener, letting Beidou talk your ear off whether she was sober or not while somehow managing to remember more from your one-sided conversations than she did herself. You were good at making sure she didn’t overdo it during her more reckless moments and most importantly: the way you managed to tell any story from your adventures in a completely deadpan and unimpressed manner proved some of the most unexpected comedic entertainment either she or the rest of the crew could ask for.

“Come onnnnn, pleaseeeee", your drunk Crewmate begged you, slurring while holding on to your arm as if his life depended on it, only for you to briefly close your eyes in slight annoyance, grabbing your vision with your free hand before pressing it against his until the cold became too much for him to bear and he was forced to pull away.

“You were there as well. Tell them the story yourself”, you refuted, only to almost immediately make out the sound of several other of your drunk companions to start whining to you.

“I’m too drunk”, he retorted, and while he was obviously telling the truth, his argument was still far from convincing you in the slightest.

Just as you were about to tell him he should have told the story before drinking then however, a sudden weight on your shoulder caused your attention to shift towards it, only to be greeted with the sight of Beidou standing next to you, one hand on your shoulder and the other on her hip, the blush on her cheeks making it obvious she herself wasn’t sober in the slightest. And yet she was still a thousand times better off than any of the others.

“That and you’re just the best at telling stories”, she added with a smile. 

If it was anyone else, you would have brushed off the compliment as flattery and nothing else before quickly turning them down, and yet whenever it was Beidou that asked you, you found yourself considering it.

You had never really understood why they always wanted you to be the one to relay their adventures. When you had asked her however, she told you that while everyone else tried to embellish their stories and make it sound even more impressive than it already was, the way you did the exact opposite and made even the most epic fight sound like it was just another tuesday was more entertaining than anything the others had to offer. And while you still found it difficult to understand just why exactly that was the case, you had the sneaking suspicion you wouldn’t be able to get a more satisfying answer no matter who you asked.

“Alright”, came your brief answer, only for everyone to huddle up in earshot almost immediately, and yet all your mind paid attention to was the small cheer coming out of Beidou’s mouth as she removed her hand from your shoulder, placed it on your head, and ruffled your hair for a moment before sitting down next to you.

Thankfully everyone was too drunk to remember the small smile that broke across your face.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 琅琊榜/Nirvana in Fire.

Nirvana in Fire is a 2015 historical series best described as either a complicated succession drama set in the premodern Chinese imperial palace, or the story of a man who didn't die a decade ago and has decided to make it everyone else's problem.

And really, I almost feel silly giving my glib little summary, because Nirvana in Fire is so well-known of a property. It's a classic for a reason, and that reason is that it's legitimately very good. This show is what happens when you adapt a solid story, get a bunch of very talented actors, and throw a huge amount of money at it. It's incredibly popular and highly acclaimed, and it earned all of the hype.

Still, while I bet there are few people adjacent to c-drama stuff who've never heard of Nirvana in Fire, I'm sure there are plenty who haven't watched it. After all, it looks like one of those slow, serious shows with a lot of ponderous talking and no joy. If that's the impression you've been given, I could imagine looking at the 54-episode commitment and saying, I don't need that in my life.

I am here to tell you you're wrong. It is a banger of a show. It's tense. It's funny. It's heartbreaking. It’s exceptionally clever. It’s jaw-droppingly stupid. It’s romantic. It’s tragic. It has smart plots and bizarre subplots. And that's not even touching the thing with the yeti.

So in case you're one of those people who's heard of Nirvana in Fire, but has put off watching it for one reason or another, I'm here with five reasons I think you should try it.

1. Epic Shit

Did you like the Lord of the Rings? More specifically, did you really like the second Peter Jackson film? Great, then you're all set for this.

I guess I could have called this Game of Thrones without the dragons, but that's not actually the vibe at all. Game of Thrones is much more sensational and salacious, with all the blood and butts and what-not. The Tolkien comparison is more apt, I think, because Nirvana in Fire is equally about as wholesome as you can get in a property where dudes are still getting stabbed all the time.

This is a show about vengeance. And yeah, justice for the fallen, sure, that's fine too. But mostly it's about a bunch of good people joining forces to make sure the bastards who did wrong pay, with their lives as necesary.

The problem, though, is that these bastards are incredibly powerful, which means that a pure brute-force approach isn't going to work. Accordingly, this quickly becomes a story about the power of smart teamwork to exact retribution on some people who can (and did!) legally get away with murder -- and our heroes are some of the people with their necks most on the line if anything goes wrong.

Don't let the Middle Earth comparison fool you into thinking this is all epic swordfights. It's not. (I mean, for one thing, as well-funded as this project is, it doesn't have Peter Jackson Money.) The vast majority of the tension in the show comes from dialogue and slow, terrible realizations. The fight scenes are almost a relief from the nail-biting intensity of intimate conversations about getting a letter from somebody's ex-wife or returning a book.

All told, the show has that incredible almost-RPG vibe of going through all the little subquests and cutscenes you find along the way to defeat the final boss. The plot carefully unravels a multi-tendriled mystery told to you by people in incredible costumes. It doesn't get much more epic than that.

(Nirvana in Fire is also a cautionary tale about how you should be very careful with who gets invited to your birthday party.)

2. A chronically ill protagonist

Okay, right in the first episode, it is established that the main character has three whole completely different names and an old nickname. I'm going to call him Mei Changsu for the duration of this rec post, but let the record show that I could just have easily gone with one of the other three.

What you learn in that same first episode is that Mei Changsu used to be a palace insider, the cocky son of a noble family, only now nearly everyone he used to know thinks he's dead. Also, he's not far off from being actually dead -- he has an unspecified terminal condition that's mostly managed, provided he stays in his little mountain hideaway with his handsome doctor bestie and doesn't return to his old stomping ground and start kicking over hornets' nests.

So guess what he's about to do.

I have to make a note of how brilliant the casting is here: Hu Ge is an action actor! He is a kickpuncher of a man! And I think it's great that you can sort of see his frustration, as well as Mei Changsu's, at having to spend the whole series wrapped in countless layers of fabric and/or lying in bed while everyone around him gets to be the badass action heroes.

Mei Changsu's not faking it, either -- he's actually dying. He expends his energy where he thinks it's necessary, and sometimes that means he has to spend the following week in bed. He's constantly frustrated with himself for what he can't do anymore. He's racing a clock, and that clock is his own failing body. If he dies, the only hope anyone here has for justice dies with him.

He gets two love interests that the show treats pretty much equally. One's a lady general who wasn't even a love interest in the book. The other's the handsome prince who was initially going to be his textual romantic partner in same book, until the author hopped genres from danmei to general historical drama. I can't even call this a love triangle, because there's no competition. He just gets a wife and a husband -- in that he gets neither, because circumstances and his own illness keep him distant from them. He lies to both of then about his condition (among other things). He wants to be with them both and knows he can't be with either. And they in turn have to learn to accept what of him they can and can't have.

(Also, Nihuang (her) and Jingyan (him) are both incredibly gorgeous, which is exactly what bisexual genius Mei Changsu deserves.)

Obviously this isn't a perfect representation of life with chronic illness, largely because Mei Changsu is an incredily wealthy man who lives in a universe with what's basically magic medicine. However, I've seen the story's treatment of him and his condition resonate with a lot of chronically ill viewers, so even with the fantasy layer on it, there's definitely something there.

3. Dave

I have already told the story of how Meng Zhi became "Dave," but long story short, he's such a Dave that I legitimately forget his character's real name. He embodies Daveness. He's The Ultimate Dave.

Dave is an excellent fighter, a loyal friend -- and a terrible liar. He's possbly the only straightforward character in the entire show. When he's asked to be duplicitous, he's comically bad at it. Dave will never do a heel turn. I was misled at first by his semi-evil facial hair, but I have seen the error of my ways. Dave is pure lawful good.

And the reason I list Dave as such a selling point is that having a Dave means you always know what's going on. This is because Dave never knows what's going on, and he has no ego about that, so he asks questions, and other characters have to explain to him what just happened, and that is how you figure out what's going on.

It's an incredibly smart move on the drama's part, because some of the (very fun) schemes are so complicated that there's no way for you, the viewer, to understand them just by watching. Without the internal monologues and omniscent narration of a book, the machinations are opaque. You need things explained -- but why would the schemers explain their schemes? Well, Dave needs some exposition, so here you go.

So if you're worried that you might be left feeling stupid by a show where so many sneaky people are hatching so many complex plans, worry not! Like the good man he is, Dave has your back.

4. A Million Amazing Antagonists

If you like bad guys, this is a show for you. This show has brilliant bad guys all the way down. It has bad guys at every turn. It has bad guys for every taste. Welcome to Big Liang's Big Bad Guy Emporium, where we guarantee you'll walk out of here with a bad guy you like, or your money back!

(And yes, this set of pictures is also to say that their costume budget was entirely well-spent.)

Without getting too far into spoilers, I will say that the basic situation underlying the whole series is this: The emperor has done a lot of bad things, and he has enlisted a bunch of people's help in hiding those bad things, so much so that many of those other people have done even more bad things the emperor didn't even know about -- and then everyone has gone to great lengths to cover those up as well. Our protagonists spend the whole series unraveling this colossal shitshow and bringing people to task for their crimes.

So really, if you're going to spend 54 episodes taking down the baddies, they've got to be baddies you love to see taken down. And these are -- in part because all of them have crystal-clear, rock-solid motivations for their actions. Nobody here is a moustache-twirling comic-book-villain baddie. They're all bad for reasons that are very understandable in their individual contexts. And not a single one of them is going to go down without a fight.

5. World's Best Mom

(Sidebar: The fact that four out of five of my reasons to watch the show are individual or groups of characters should be your strongest indicator that this is an intensely character-driven story.)

This is not a Dead Mom Show. Okay, some moms are dead, but mostly this is a Moms Are Alive And Often Cause Problems Show, which is a lot of what makes the palace drama so delicious. But there is one Good Mom who stands out above all the rest: Consort Jing.

Played with perfect grace and devastating politeness by the stunning Liu Mintao, Consort Jing is a skilled doctor and excellent baker who starts the show with a low-level status among the women of the palace. She swallows down all kinds of mistreatment because she's not in a place to oppose it -- and when she can retaliate, it must only be through soft power. She loves her jock son with all her heart, but because of both their relatively poor positions in the hierarchy, she doesn't get to see him all that much. She wants to be an asset to him, while all the time she has to fear becoming a liability.

She is also the smartest person in any room that she's in, unless she's in a room with Mei Changsu, and even then it may be a tie.

There are lots of great characters in the show that I could have highlighted here, and plenty of them are women, but Consort Jing in particular never ceases to impress me. She is trapped in a gilded cage, married to a man who [lengthy list of spoilers that are traumatic to her in particular], and held hostage by how every time she even looks like she's out of line, it puts both her and her boy in danger. She's the most vulnerable of any of our good guys. Kind of like Wang Zhi, she's got to be clever or she's dead.

Consort Jing is not part of Mei Changsu's original plan. She figures out his plan and makes herself part of it -- and entirely remotely, as she and he aren't even in the same room until episode 40 or so. She puts herself in great danger to make sure he succeeds, not because it will necessarily do her any good, but because Jingyan needs him. This woman has been captain of the Mei Changsu/Jingyan ship for like twenty years already.

Oh, and did I mention her outfits?

I love you, Consort Mom.

Are you ready to watch it yet?

Get it on Viki! Get it on YouTube! Get it on YouTube but in a different playlist! (And also maybe get it on Amazon? Not in my region, but maybe in yours.)

I will warn you that it does take off running -- I think I saw someone say it introduces nineteen characters in the first episode? I was worried that I'd be too innundated by situations and flashbacks and names to be able to follow. By the second or third episode, though, I was rolling with it. So if you feel like you're struggling at the beginning, stick with it a bit. See if you don't feel it start to click.

...Man, reading over this post has left me going, oh, but I missed that! and that! and that guy! And yeah, the truth is that there are just so many great things about the show that limiting myself to only five (and being limited to only thirty images) was tough. I'm sure that people reblogging will add their own must-see elements.

Truly, this is a show that deserves its reputation. It may not be for everyone, but if this is the kind of thing that you like, it is a shining example of that thing.

Besides, you have to love a production where everyone was clearly having just a whole lot of fun being big ol' costumed dorks.

[bump1nthen1ght]

Lovers in Arms (Living Armor x Fem!Reader)

Pairing: Fem!Knight x Living Armor (He/Him)

Genre:Fantasy, Established Relationship, Slight Exhibitionism

Warnings: None

Word Count:1507 words

Summary: As a famous knight, you’re quite used to receiving unwanted attention from others, romantic or not. Your partner, however, has found another way of coping with it.

Request: Hear me out a female knight x living Armor. Outside is very protective plate armor but the inside is a sticky, slimy mass of tendrils. When she is out fighting everything is normal but when she is talking with people and doing errands is when it starts to become hard to ignore. Doesn't help that the armor dirty talks and praises her while its fondling and screwing her. They both have a great relationship.

“I don’t like this man.”

“I’m aware.” You mumble under your breath, feeling the way Rust squirms and wriggles against your skin, a tell-tale sign of his annoyance. It’s a far cry from his usual movements, which have a way of syncing perfectly to your limbs, slipping right into the natural crevices. “But he’s willing to pay for this next campaign, so we gotta suck up a bit.”

You’d normally not speak so freely with Rust like this, but the man of discussion, some lord or something, is talking about himself so loudly you doubt he notices.

“I’ve heard much about your past battles, good knight! When I saw you would be leading this battalion, I knew I had to come and meet you.” You nod along, used to the simple back and forths of these sorts of conversations. You play the part, stroke their egos, and your knights and squires have full bellies and well-maintained equipment for the rest of their next mission. It’s embarrassing, but worth it. “I must say too, you are much more…beautiful than I expected, captain.”

You internalize a groan, your armor shuddering as Rust’s tentacles tense up.

This happens a lot too.

“I mean not to offend but when I first heard of your epic tales, I thought ‘surely someone so accomplished can’t also be attractive.’ And yet you-” The lord bites his lip in what he mist thinks is charming, “-have enchanted me.”

You muster your best flattered grin, despite the way your stomach sours.

“Thank you, my lord. I assure you the feeling is mu- hngh!” Blood nearly draws from thr forceful bite against your lip, a moan nearly clawing its way out of you mouth. The lord’s eyebrows shoot up. “E-excuse me. I think some of my old battle scars are-” another breathy sigh, your cheeks growing hot, “-acting up. I apologize.”

You don’t stay to hear the lord's worried questions and sympathies, instead running to your tent. You pass by drinking soldiers and courtiers, all celebrating your last victory. None spare a look at their serious captain, knowing how often you retreat your quarters. Surely to look over battle strategies and war routes, always the hard worker.

“F-fuck, Rust.” You pant, nearly collapsing once you reach your bed. The appendage currently circling your clit stops, your cunt aching from the lack of stimulation. “You have to stop doing that.”

“And why should I?” Rust's smug voice echoes in your helm. “Not like that buffon would’ve noticed. Pigheaded, ignorant fool, flirting with you-”

This was a common occurrence as well. Something about military success and captain’s armor has a way of drawing people’s attention, several nobles looking to leech off of the prestige of courting you. While you’ve perfected a method of deflection, seeming humble yet appreciative, Rust can’t help but seeth whenever they start sweet talking. His jealousy comes to a head, all the sass and the passion all bursting out like a broken dam. You’re usually able go escape somewhere private before it becomes too overwhelming, but there have been times you struggle to finish your sentence because of the tentacles fucking you like a piston, his low voice whispering laviscious that echoe in your ears.

“You’re an immaculate treasure, captain. They don’t deserve you.”

“I don’t know when you look more beautiful, on the battlefield or cumming on my tentacles.”

“Cum for me, Captain.”

You learn to give a grated smile, utter an excuse about your old injuries, and hobble away while cum runs down your legs in rivulets.

It can get a little frustrating, but in this moment, you can't say you hate the effect jealousy has on him.

“Forget about him.” You collapsed onto your bed, all thoughts of reprimanding Rust fading from mind. The only need at the forefront of your mind is lust, your body craving the taste of pleasure. “It’s just us now.”

If he could, Rust would surely be smirking.

“That's right. As it should be.” Rust’s voice rumbles all across your body, accompanied by the familiar slipping of his tentacles, all slotting into place. One slides right between your pussy lips, now slick, and resumes circling your clit. “Just you and I, together.”

Your head is thrown back in a moan, helm falling off and letting your hair lie loose. Rust’s inner body only extends to your chestplate, his voice now echoing off your collar and into your ear.

“Yes, pretty girl. Such pretty noises.” Two tentacles encircle your breasts, squeezing and fondling. “My gorgeous captain” The metal shakes with Rust’s purrs, plate joints rubbing against each other as all the tentacles move. “Hmm, I love the way this pussy tastes after a long battle.”

“Rust.” You whine, hand thrown over your face as a hot blush spreads up your neck.

“What? Its true.” A tip of a tentacle prods at your entrance, dancing around it like a tease. “The sweat that drips down between your thighs, your sweet juices…” That tapered tip slowly enters your whole, tabtalizinignly slow, “It’s addictive.”

A shaky sigh is muffled by your palm, your legs instinctively spreading wide as the tentacle stretches you open. Lines of ridges along the side scrape against your walls, sending shocking bolts across your stomach. Your free hand digs into your blankets.

“Divine.” Rust moans, two limbs pressing your breasts together as another slots in between them. The tentacle inside burns as it reaches its girthiest part, the tip now curled against your g-spot. “If those fools ever saw you like this, captain, they’d know how out of their league you are.”

“Aah!” Your hand becomes a fist and you bite down on your knuckles, Rust finally starting to thrust inside of you. In private he likes to take his sweet time setting the pace, unraveling you like a gift.

“I want you to sing for me, general.”

“Oh, fu-uck.” You draw out your vowels, back arching as the tentacles around your nipples twist even tighter. The ones deep in your pussy go frustratingly slow, drawing out to the tip before pressing you open again. “Rust.”

If your enemies could see you now; The fierce Captain of the Crimson Brigade, whose command brought countless victories for the crown, who never rested until the fight was one, begging like a common whore. Your voice all high and needy, so different from the gruff persona you put on when shouting orders.

On the battlefield, you and Rust are all business. Everything clicks, your two bodies moving in perfect synchronicity, throwing javelins and wielding a greatsword with ease. You’re the perfect pair; You bring the technique, he brings the strength, and together you can bring down titans. A force to be reckoned with, that bows to no one.

But it can be exhausting. All those decisions, life-changing decisions, are in your hands. You are the face of this operation, after all, and any missteps reflect on your leadership, no one else's.

So what's wrong with handing the reins over, every once in a while? Let someone set the pace, move your body for you. Let you be the obedient soldier, following the lead.

“Good girl.” Rust purse, and all those troubles from before melting away.

Your thighs fight to clench together as he begins fucking you faster, vision blurring as he hits your g-spot with precision. The merriment of celebration and drunken victory outside are loud enough to drown your wanton noises. Let them have their image of their general, let them have the person you pretend to be on the battlefield. These noises are for Rust, and only Rust.

“I’m getting close.” Your lips quiver, the skin nearly worn thin from your incessant biting. “Please, Rust.”

“How could I ever say no to you, Captain?” A second tentacle slips inside you, joining its twin and thrusting in you like a well-oiled machine. A gaso claws its way out of your throat, hips jumping from the burning stretch. “Especially when you ask so nicely.”

The tentacles twist together, writing against your walls. Your eyes roll back into your head as a buzzing sensation travels up from your core to your face, like you're starting to go numb.

“Oh, gods!” You cry out as the crescendo finally hits, pussy clenching the tentacles in a vice. All of Rust’s appendages shudder, a sultry groan echoing out of your collar.

The armor feels hot, almost too hot as you lay in the end, the high of climaxing slowly fading. Sweat drips down your entire body, loving tentacles lapping them up eagerly. Words still escape you, your thoughts a jumbled mess of sensations and emotions. You should really take a shower, shed Rust and clean him as well, but everything is sore, and your brain calls for sleep.

“Rest, my captain. We can bathe in the morning.”

Rust whispers, low tone only pulling you further into unconsciousness.

In the soft embrace of your lover, you can fall asleep peacefully. No thoughts of battles, or blood, or death. Just the two of you, as always.

[boobi-boy]

HOT TAKE. As a society, we are conditioned to hate final seasons. This is fair. We were all betrayed by Game of Thrones and Supernatural and whatnot. As someone who has never watched these (I have only heard generalised complaints about them), let me (drunkenly) yap about the Umbrella Academy s4.

I'm gonna try and keep this vaguely organised.

Luther

I was an adamant Luther hater back in season one and two, I will admit, meeting his actor at Comic Con in 2021 did colour my opinion a little bit, but I loved him in season three. I mean, his romance with Sloane always felt a little rushed to me, but it was certainly sweet, and their wedding was a nice tie in to the "we only see each other at weddings and funerals" thing.

Pros;

In season four, I loved him. He's optimistic about life and goes to great lengths to brighten the moods of people around him, which is the kind of person he lacked all his life. He's being the person he always needed and I love that for him.

The implication that he's pushing aside his festering feelings of dissatisfaction for his life to be there for other people is so moving, and also I love those moments where him and Allison get to just be normal siblings, showing that he's moved on from that toxic era of his life.

His fight scenes are epic and he's all round a good character this season. I understand people's disdain for being sidelined, along with his grief for Sloane, but there are a certain two factors that should be taken into consideration here. The first being that, by s4e1, its been six years since he lost her. He has probably processed that grief and moved on by now, despite how profound the loss. Obviously he still thinks about her, which is why he occasionally brings her up, but it's been a long time. Additionally, he's semi-sidelined because his character arc was pretty well rounded by the end of s3. He's moved on from Allison and was on a trajectory for a healthier life. Its tragic that he lost Sloane, but good that he continued trying to be happy.

Cons;

I do wish his relationship with Ben had been more developed this season. To me, I think the implication is that he's hanging on to Sparrow Ben as a brother (in-law) because he's the closest remaining connection to the Sparrow Academy, therefore Sloane.

Why is he living in the decrepit Sparrow Academy house? Why? Literally why??? This needed more explanation.

Diego

My mother hates him. I lowkey love him. In season two, his character plus his saviour complex was explored so fucking well. I loved him then. I think his character in season three is a decent testament to how boring 'settling down' can be.

Pros;

He reacts very well to everything that happens. That's the best way I could explain it. The realisation that sometimes life is just normal. Its a sweet plotline and I enjoyed it

I loved his relationship with Luther, his visit to the CIA and the fun approach to his power this season.

His final words to Lila, that he knew she didn't mean to hurt him, were so mature and a brilliant way of rounding off his character with a sense of satisfaction and finality. I loved it so much. In that moment, before everything, he was her husband, and that was beautiful.

Cons;

I have very few. I think his depiction as a mailman is silly. I just wish it had been a different job.

Also I wish he'd spoken more Punjabi because I'm pretty sure (correct me if I'm wrong) he learnt that to converse with Lila and her family in their native language, despite Lila's family speaking English.

Why was he immature enough to fight with Five over his wife when the literal world was ending? Not very consistent with his character development but I still liked that scene. Honestly, that was obviously written in as a segue to Five going back to the subway so I guess it did have to be there it just felt a bit weird.

Allison

Oh dear God. Allison Hargreeves, what happened to you? I loved her so much in seasons one and two. Season three Allison ruined everything ever forever. Not through bad writing. Through very good and despicably devastating writing. She has lost so much and she coped with it so badly that she altered all of time to avoid her grief. The evillest girlboss of all time.

Pros;

CLAIRE! Claire Bear. I love you. Thank you season four for giving us Claire and Claire/Allison bonding time.

Also the fact that she's coping with her being a terrible human being by babysitting Klaus for five years (which she is obviously very spiteful about) is very well written.

I like the return of Allison badassery when she shows up and literally busts a man's balls.

I like how she ends the show being physically vulnerable and now Klaus is taking care of her now. That was cute.

Also I love that she's being held accountable for her actions and it makes her a slightly better person! That was fun.

I like that we learn that without her power she was a B-list actor at best.

Cons;

What the fuck were her powers this season? I know they got janky marigold but why is she literally just telekinetic now????

Why didn't they tell us why Ray walked out? She literally altered time to get him back. Like, I know Allison has fucked up every relationship she's ever had but PLEASE tell us what happened.

Also fuck you for what you did to Klaus.

Klaus.

Oh, Klaus Hargreeves, the man that you were. Season one. TRAGIC. I loved it. Season two, the exact same commentary. Season three, I loved him so much, he keeps being my FAVOURITE and also the idea that the drugs and trauma thwarted the full potential of his powers, but the drugs was the only thing that could keep him sane because of his trauma and his powers was so cool. Well done for beginning to overcome your rampant daddy issues Klaus. Season four. He is still my favourite.

Pros;

Having him sell his body in the weirdest way possible was amazing. I love to see it.

The moment between him and Claire where she knew exactly what was happening and he just repeats 'it's too late' and swears at her. Beautifully devastating.

Him getting buried alive was so fucking fitting I can't properly explain it I just love it.

His final line, and the third-to-final line of dialogue in the whole shows being 'I just wanna say, I love you guys, but you're all assholes' sums up perfectly. And it just had to be him that said that. He can never escape his nihilism and I love him for it. Its who he is.

Learning that the 'real' Klaus is a total germophobe was fun.

Cons;

Give my man more screen time. I beg. I am on my knees begging. Please Mr Blackman. Please Mr Way. Give the love of my life more screen time.

I wish Dave had been mentioned once or twice. Dave is forever a part of Klaus. Why didn't he try to contact him when he got his powers back? Why has he forgotten him? If Luther gets a Sloane mention then Klaus should have gotten a Dave mention. I guess Netflix hates the queers unless they're from Heartstopper (/j)

Five

Five is my mother's favourite and she was vomming this season because of you-know-what. The poor woman. She still loves him though, So did I. Five defines The Umbrella Academy. He spent two seasons wearing the uniform, he got the first f-bomb, he was responsible for SO much exposition. All in all, he is quintessential to the aesthetic, plot, and entire existence of the series. Did season four give him justice?

Pros;

I love Five being a CIA agent. This is so him.

Jerome is a funny name for him.

He doesn't ever stop being himself and I love that.

I like how blunt he is about the fact they all have to end their existence. He understands existentialism and his place in the universe more than his siblings (and most people ever) can fathom. It had to be him to deliver that news and he does it so well.

Cons;

The elephant in the room. Him and Lila. I see it. I see the vision. Yes. If two people spend seven years with only each other for company, suspended in time, they will probably develop a romantic relationship. That doesn't make me like it. It is in character for him to lie to Lila (or withhold information from her)about knowing the way home. I just hated every second of it. I thought they were going to steer clear of Five romantic relationships because of how weird his ageing is. He's mentally more than twenty years older than Lila and physically more than ten years younger than her. It is gross. I hate it. It was a reasonable plot choice Honestly, their relationship remaining strictly platonic would have been less realistic than what happened but when has this show ever been realistic? I will say, it makes sense for Five to revert to old coping mechanisms (I am referring to Delores) in a time like this, it's just that this time he had a real person to enact them with. In times of utter distress, Five is a romanticist, so at least his character is consistent.

Why didn't they let him wear a suit that fits him? That was not nice.

Ben

Sparrow Ben is a sexy cunt. I love how much of a knob he is. All the time. This season was a slay for him. We heart assimilation allegories for love and obsession.

Pros;

I repeat - I love the assimilation metaphor. He didn't get to go with grace. I've seen people criticising that he got no meaningful death scene but that's the point. His meaningful death was stolen from him because of his unhealthy obsession with Jennifer and how deeply in love with her he was. It's a commentary of how toxic and co-dependant relationships will destroy a person. I love it.

I love the scene where him and Jennifer are sat either side of the wall watching the same movie. That was so fucking cute.

Cons;

The CGI for his powers was shit. He looked like the squid version of She-Hulk.

Why have the Umbrellas just adopted him into his family? That was weird.

Victor

I have always loved him. Best trans representation I've ever seen. Autism coded. The amount of times I said 'His powers are just autism sensory overload' or 'his powers are just anger issues' has probably burned the phrase into my mother's mind.

Pros;

I like that he was a manwhore in Canada.

I love him having control over his powers this season. We support self control my man.

I love how adamant he is to save Ben. All this man has ever wanted was to save someone. And he never could. So he sacrificed himself to save the world.

Cons;

I was not here for the fit this season. The boots. The jean jacket. Not a serve. I am sorry.

He was kinda cringe and irrelevant this season I'm not gonna lie.

Lila

Thank you Lila for being what I picture when I hear Golden Brown. It makes me happy.

Pros;

A devoted mother. We love her. I also love that her character involves her children but she's more than that. But she still sacrifices everything for them. "Make sure to read to Gracie every night! And don't let the twins fight!" absolutely destroyed me.

I don't know what it is but her fit ate this season.

Her final words being 'Fuck you!' was fun.

Cons;

Her 'LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME' personality got annoying after about four episodes. Not even in s4, just in general.

I wish her backstory had been more addressed this season. It was just completely ignored. Sad.

The Plot.

Pros;

If this show is anything, it is self aware. It makes fun of itself for just doing the apocalypse four times. I love it.

The tragic ending. Too many shows have happy endings these days. I need my bittersweet tragedy and the Umbrella Academy delivered. It actually made me bawl because these characters meant so fucking much to me.

I always said that Klaus's story couldn't end without him dying. I also felt like Five dying would work. Now I think that if one of them goes, they all have to. They were born at the same time and they died that way too. It explains WHY they keep ending the world. Their very existence is apocalyptic. They are a collective incarnation of the apocalypse and that just rounds off the show in such a meaningful way.

I know people hate the 'one true timeline' thing and the 'they all die' thing and feel like its a copout, but its so beautiful to me. They were the problem the whole time. They can't just find some creative and resourceful way out of it this time. This is the end. That's WHY the SONG in the TRAILER WAS 'THE END' by My Chemical Romance!!!!!!!!!!!

Cons;

The plot holes like why does Luther getting his powers back give him his monkey body back when the life-saving surgery that he didn't need in this timeline didn't happen???

Along with many other plot holes that have already been pointed out within this post and by other people a million times so I won't go through the tedium of doing what has already been done.

Special mentions!

The Gene & Jean dance scene! The show knew they couldn't get away with making the Umbrellas dance again but they needed an obligatory Umbrella Academy dance scene and they ATE IT UP.

The song they danced to was also a banger, which segues nicely into my next mention which is the SOUNDTRACK. It SLAPS. Muse! Bloodhound Gang! Cher! ALL IN ONE SHOW. The Umbrella Academy's soundtrack has always been amazing and season four is not any different.

The closing line "On the eighth of august 2024" etc. DESTROYED ME.

THE USE OF 'I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW' KILLED ME.

THE POST CREDITS WITH THE MARIGOLD FLOWERS AAAAGHHH.

ALL THE SIDE CHARACTERS UGH.

Also, the production photos from across the years in the credits. I loved them so fucking much.

They kept handling Victor's trans storyline well, not pretending he was never a girl and including him in flashbacks. Idk I liked it.

Diego naming his daughter after his mother is so sweet.

Random criticism though - the casting for the teen versions of the Umbrellas was ATROCIOUS. Klaus somehow looked five years old and in his mid forties at the same time.

[fryingpan1234567]

so I know… most if not all of the ships in the HTP au (@aquaquadrant and @lunarcrown) are inherently toxic and Bad™️. unhealthy.

they’re rooted in players that are literally coded to be Like That, so the best it gets is kind of like… never wanting to kill each other. that’s the bar I feel like

but I can’t stop THINKING about them because I always pictured it like— a Hels’ partner is the one person they’re sane for. the one person they’re not absolutely feral for (or maybe they are but in a good way). the one person they’re better for.

FOR EXAMPLE.

Pathbubs is arguably one of the worst ones. they’re very sweet and fluffy with each other, but Patho is constantly aware that he’s going to have to leave fairly soon, and Dbubs is either blissfully unaware or refuses to admit that he’s thinking about it. Patho will return after Dbubs’ broken heart heals, when there will be no anger, no grief, just happiness to see him again.

which is… hella toxic.

but like, picture— Patho, on his many adventures out in the world, discovers a cupcake. it’s like a normal cake, but small and travel-sized. what.

so he brings one back for Dbubs next time he visits, who is ECSTATIC and demands to know how to craft one. he declares that he hates it and then devours half of it in one bite, which Patho finds highly amusing.

or like, Dbubs wakes Patho up at the ASS CRACK OF DAWN to drag him out the front door, explaining at a mile a minute that they’re going to go vANQUISH a GREAT BEAST and— and Patho BETTER be PREPARED because this is a BIG HUGE EPIC FIGHT—

and then the vines pull them through the trees so they can see over the top of them, and there’s the sunrise. Dbubs goes quiet as Patho blinks in surprise, pink and gold light turning his hair a pleasant orange color. the red vines growing from Dbubs reach towards the sun, waving cheerfully. Patho doesn’t quite know what to say, but Dbubs snuggles into his side with a contented sigh, and he figures maybe he can stay an extra day this time around. maybe. if the itch to leave isn’t too bad.

example two: Bravo and Timmy.

(technically Bravo isn’t a Hels but bear with me here) they seem like they have the most potential to be normalish— an Overworld player and a sweet but anxious bird boy. and I think they have their normal moments, but most of the time they’re just not like that. again: it’s in their code.

but you get moments like… Timmy forgets to eat for a while, which was just a habit from living near spawn for so many years, but now that they’ve moved away, Bravo’s been pushing him to eat a healthy amount. not because he’s concerned, or anything. just. constant death messages cluttering his screen are irritating. yeah. so Timmy forgets to eat, and Bravo notices how bad his hands are shaking when he hands him the thing he asked for. Bravo sighs in (totally real and not affectionate) annoyance and tosses him some of the food out of his own inventory. they take their lunch break together.

alternatively, Bravo’s been working for hours and hours! and Timmy actually had to remind HIM to eat once or twice! and that’s not good, right? so Timmy drags him away from his work for a much-needed walk, and they have a real conversation that didn’t involve insults or excessive swearing. strange.

last one last one okay

bX and Alisker?? ship name help TvT

anyways. we don’t know a whole lot about the two of them individually or like, their backstories, but bX used to fight in the arena until Alisker freed him (some way or another). maybe he was like “hey that guy can fight maybe I should get him on my side so people are more scared of me.” but some part of me is hoping, because HelsKnight is the champion and therefore the best fighter in there (OVER bX), he still chose bX because there was something special about him. some kind of connection. it wasn’t just business. it wasn’t NOT personal!!

now there are those little canon details that are so. just. Alisker trusts bX the most out of literally anybody who works for him, enough to have him run all the errands including the high-risk ones. he keeps water nearby at all times because bX is a guardian hybrid and he wants to keep him healthy/ happy.

and then… there’s another part of me that is very concerned. the unbridled pda— Atlas literally said that was showing off a very prominent weak spot. but what if. it wasn’t. like what if Alisker isn’t worried about that, because it’s not a weak spot? if someone (probably Bravo or smth let’s be honest) had bX pinned, threatening to kill him if Alisker didn’t do whatever whatever, Alisker would be like. “eh. I don’t care. go ahead.” BECAUSE HE’S SO POWER-HUNGRY HE CAN’T COMPUTE THAT SOMETHING, SOMEONE, COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT.

and maybe bX knows this. and maybe they’re cool with it. maybe it’s just the way they roll.

I just… I love the way Aqua writes characters. it’s so nice to read and conveys both personality and like goal/ ambition so flawlessly, even if they don’t get much read time. IT’S AMAZING

[yoddhasblog]

Mahabharat is and will always be my favourite tale to reflect upon and talk to people about. This book was immensely hyped up along with the author. I have now read three of her books. The Last Queen, which admittedly I adored. Then, the Forest Of Enchantments, the book I'd been looking forward to for such a long time. That one left me in a rage.

I went into this book expecting to be pissed off and disappointed. And I wasn't let down on that assumption.

The Palace Of Illusions is a retelling of the great Indian epic-Mahabharata. A tale incorporated so deeply into our hearts that everyone has their own takes and beliefs and opinions about it. I sincerely believe that you cannot write a retelling without angering a number of people. Well, I'm one them.

The writing style:

I didn't have too many issues except i did not get why there were so many rhetorical and philosophical questions? Literal, paragraphs that were nothing but questions.

Draupadi, the enigma, the fire-born, the one person I would fight for as long as there is life in me, why was acting as though she was a little more than a sullen child? In the book that was supposed to be from her point of view, the person, the author did the most injustice with was-Draupadi.

The plot assassination:

As I mentioned above, most of everything in the plot of the epic was butchered and mangled to fit into the author's narrative of women, good-men,bad. It is common knowledge that women's position in society was as downtrodden as depicted here. Don't get me wrong, horrific crimes happened against women and justice was also delivered adequately but the author pulled apart the entire social structure only to be able to say that every bad thing happened to Draupadi was because she is a woman.

~ In the very first chapter, Draupadi said it was egoistic of her father to give her a variation of his own name when her brother, Dhrishtadyumna got an original name. In Vyas Mahabharat, her birth name was Krishnaa but like many people in Hindu beliefs, she was also known as Draupadi, though that is the most commonly used name. So, no points to the author trying to convince everyone that this was sexist.

~ Draupadi was highly educated and trained in many things including economics and she was the one who was in charge of the treasury of Indraprastha. She was a finance minister of sorts. So, saying that King Droupad refused to let her train because she is a woman is stupid.

~Also, I've grown up listening to that Draupadi stepped out of the fire as a young woman. She wasn't a child. Some sources say she was around 16 some say around 25.

~ Are we still stuck about 50 years ago that we're going to be okay with authors portraying that all women in power are evil? Kunti and Draupadi viewed each other as rivals? Draupadi throwing temper tantrums over other women? wtf

~ Draupadi as a pick-me? Half the book Draupadi's internal dialogue is nothing but I don't know how to socialize with other women, they're jealous of each other, they're always giggling, I won't survive the world of women, I can't dance, people don't find me pretty because of my dark complexion(where did white supremacy even came in this conversation) but suddenly out of nowhere Draupadi just knows that every woman is envious of her. She adores the saris and jewellery that she used to find impossible to handle.

~ Maharishi Vyas giving Draupadi Divya drishti to see the battlefield of Kurukshetra came out of nowhere. It felt a forced action done only to show Draupadi's emotions about the deaths.

~ Draupadi harbouring hidden feelings for Karna and him secretly returning those feelings felt like a teenager's fever dream. A teenager who's hellbent on sexualizing everything they come across.

~Bhagvat Gita was witnessed by everyone on kurukshetra including the Virat roop? Again, it felt like a move forced that was done in order to show Draupadi's internal dialogue. How did the author even think she could fit Bhagvat Gita in half a chapter?

~The Pandavas just had no personality whatsoever outside of being obedient to their mother and scared of Draupadi's temper tantrums.

~Krishan ji was told to be this charismatic, carefree, silvertongued diplomat but he was simply shown as someone who randomly showed up and gave unsolicited advice.

~And I don't know what that ending was but you can't be serious telling me that Karna and Draupadi somehow end up together in heaven?

~WHAT WAS THE AUTHOR'S PROBLEM WITH RESEARCHING ABOUT MAHABHARATA???

There was no way the entire plot of Mahabharata could've fit into one book. She tried too but this book sucked. I understand it's a retelling and sometimes had to change but everything here felt so forced. The author broke everything in context to fit into her supposedly feminist ideal. Don't get me wrong, i dislike the Pandavas, the Kauravas and their elders with all my heart but they all had one dimensional personalities. They had caricature-ish depositions. I had no emotions attached to anyone in this book whatsoever. This was a headache.

[kaledya]

Oh Kaledya, 😭

Holy shit !

I almost strangled myself seeing Lolicia drawing by you again ! She is so pretty in your style, my baby, *ugly cry*. I will try to draw her as you did ! It will be fun ! Thank you for the gift! Really. I will put it on the characters glossary at the beginning of the fanfic ! I really love the shape of her eyes you did and the hairstyles ! Everything. Thank you!

And I will answer here for the previous post :

Thank you again for Lolicia compliments ! I want to draw her with Constantine or Serenity but I'm so scared to not draw them good. Perhaps with time ! I will give you a gift back !

_

I'm glad you having fun with the "characters interactions chapters" ! Its fun to write too even if a bit challenging because they all have different personality and I try to make it great for all. Also Alastor and Lolicia dialogue was nice and I love the 1920s slang !

And yes Monet, as you described her, would hate that Charlie said the Clown Pageant is less popular ahah

_

And yes, also I have a question for the timelines !

For me, it was like this from what you told on YouTube posts for the storyline :

  - Charlie's bonding activities   - then Lucifer comes to see the Hotel   - Lucifer breaks his silence and talk to Michael   - Charlie goes to Heaven and meet the 6 Archangels with the songs inspired by epic (heaven arc)   - Charlie after the trial need to make proof that the hotel works - Azrael say the hotel is not touched by the Extermination   - Then the Greatest Song, Man (Greatest show man mini arc)   - Meeting with the Overlords (introduction of the Vees)

Because the Vees are main villains in SS AU, right?

  - Alastor "reunion" with Serinity after she takes his defence on the meeting   - Alastor VS Vox (like stayed gone)   - And somewhere Angel Dust business with Valentino and Charlie show her authority.   - [...]

This is how I plan it, but if you preferred i can change it and do the greatest show man arc before the heaven arc ?

You can choose ! Because I'm not sure if I understand right.

_

Thank you and you are a wonderful artist and creator ! 🌸🌟 Thank you again for the gift (screaming)

Sorry the message was way too long

Have a great day as always- marquisev

First of all, I'm so glad you liked my fanart! Seriously, drawing Lolicia was a pleasure!🌟❤️

And I'm so glad to hear that you want to draw Serenity and Constantine, and don't worry.I will Love how you draw them in any way . Also, I really liked your drawing style, the art you put in the fanfic were really great.

I seriously think you have a beautiful talent!❤️

This was the plan I had in mind.

But I am not a writer and I think you will make the best decision and this is your story, you can write it however you want, you don't even have to ask me❤️

The plan I have in mind:

In my AU, I generally left the issues related to Heaven until later (season 2).

In my mind, the first season is about the members of the hotel forming bonds and starting to support each other.It included character development of characters like Angel and Husk. That's why the greatest showdemon arc happened at the beginning of the first season and the team was starting to work with each other and really get to know each other.As the season progresses,

the Overlord meeting

(Alastor knows who Misfortune is. In his past, Alastor tried to hunt Serenity like other overlords, but Serenity ended it with a conversation instead of a fight.They have no friendship. Serenity revealed her identity after arriving at the hotel in the 2nd season

(The reason for this was that Season 2 was generally related to the backgrounds of the characters, and since Serenity was directly connected to Alastor's background, I put her in that section)

Alastor's fight with Vox, Angel's confrontation with Val, Mentioning the past of Husk and Angel (This part takes place in the scene where Angel and Husk are discussing their problems before the song Loser Baby)

Constantine is also a character from Season 1. After the Greatest Showdemon arc (Not exactly after that arc, but I didn't know exactly which events to put. After the team members and the hotel have seriously improved) when the hotel makes serious progress, Charlie invites her brother to the hotel to show her progress. (Charlie and Lucifer's relationship is seriously bad in this AU, so Charlie doesn't try to reach her father,she thinks "he won't listen to me anyway)

And Constantine, who saw sinners improving in a truly strange way He gets the proof he wants And after this thing, he personally goes to his Father and says these words to Lucifer after a serious conversation.

"I will not repeat myself again, father. Consider this as a warning from your son. Either you put your pride aside and go to your daughter and listen to her ideas and plans. or As a result of the decision you made, not only will you lose your daughter whom you love dearly, but you will also not have a son. Make your choice father, you don't have much time. Until then, I hope you have fun in your eternal loneliness."

After this conversation, Lucifer comes to the hotel and confronts Charlie. listens to her ideas.

I don't have a full timeline, but in general, all the events I write about happen before the heaven arc.I wanted Charlie to go to heaven with as much evidence as possible and to gain self-confidence and become more of a leader in the meantime.

If I were to write in summary form. (I don't write in the form of a timeline, just events)

Season 1

-Charlie's meeting with Adam

-Team bonding

-Greatest show demon arc (this is included in the team's bonding tool)

-Overlord meeting

-Vox and AI fight

-Angel getting rid of Val

-Constantinen's arrival at the hotel.

(There may be a lot different arcs in this season, I really don't know, most things are still WIP)

SEASON 1 in general A season where the Vees are the main enemies.

Season 2 (The main enemy in this season may be Roo, but I don't know)

-Serenity comes to the hotel

-Lucifer comes to the hotel

-Charlie goes to heaven alone.

-she meets all the true archangels one by one and finally tries to convince Azrael.

So yes, these are what I have in mind, but my thoughts are generally WIP.As I said, this is your story and I'm not a good writer, so it would probably be better if you decide the plot yourself! 🌟❤️

--

If this is the way you planned, you can use this plan too! This is your story, you can write it however you want🌟

---

Thank YOU SO much🌟

And it's really nothing, drawing Lolicia was a real pleasure❤️❤️

Have a great day too!

[pteren]

i just played a text-based RPG for two days straight

it's called Roadwarden and i loved it. you play as an adventurer tasked with traveling the roads between disconnected settlements in a deadly wilderness.

WORLDBUILDING (no plot spoilers) the setting is a dangerous and disconnected fantasy frontier which lies in the shadow of a powerful expansionist nation. everyone has beef with each other and it's not always clear who, if anyone, is in the right. the forces of nature are revered and feared. the monsters are SCARY dude. not in a cheesy horror movie way but in a very visceral "the wilderness is so much bigger than you" way. every confrontation has weight to it and the line between mundane animals and supernatural fantasy creatures is blurred. powerful themes include trust, grief, desperation, societal and personal guilt, trauma, religious tension, colonialism, environmentalism, and quite possibly more i never discovered- i expect to be replaying this game a lot. very casually lgbt positive. queer characters are frequently encountered just living their lives. so thats cool

the story takes itself very seriously but it pays off there are so many powerful emotional moments as a result good grief i love this game GAMEPLAY Roadwarden is played by traveling around and talking to people using simple dialogue trees. these trees are anything but static- they are affected by your tone entering the conversation, your personal goals and beliefs, your relationship with the person you're talking to, and the state of the world. for a good bit of the game you will have something new to say to a character pretty much every time you encounter them. knowledge is power. information you pick up everywhere will influence your dialogue options, and you're encouraged to hoard every scrap of info you can get- these precious details will allow you to solve mysteries, convince npcs of your convictions, and uncover secrets. and combat is no exception! fighting and other encounters use the exact same interface that dialogue does, offering you a list of possible choices. knowing your opponent is as important as your skills and equipment (if not more). you pretty much always have the option to lie when relevant which is so much fun. the game occasionally prompts you to type commands or phrases directly, testing your knowledge and/or creativity. you are also frequently asked for your character's unspoken thoughts about situations. its unclear to what extent this affects gameplay but it's an awesome touch. the game tracks your discoveries in an organized journal and lets you add your own notes. it was never difficult to keep track of what my character knew. (although the dialogue trees occasionally offered me choices i had forgotten about or wouldn't have put together on my own, this was usually an "oh right i remember that" moment and not a "what the hell just happened" moment.) this is not a roguelike. death feels like a very real threat (good writing) but it isn't doesn't end your playthrough and it's pretty difficult to get it to happen in the first place. this is a role playing game. it's about the story and it is stronger for that. WRAP UP so many moments in this game made me say "that's so freaking epic." both narratively and mechanically. i'll leave you to discover those moments yourself, but the way the creators painted individual story beats with unique twists on the same simple gameplay mechanics is nothing short of brilliant characters are great. i fell in love with some of them; i loved hating some of them. there are a few characters i wish were fleshed out a little more.

music is okay. nothing special. gets repetitive but the motifs are nice i finished my first playthrough in 16 hours it's on sale on steam rn go check it out :3

[call-me-apple]

Here's a compilation of notable c!Dream & c!Eret interactions from Eret's recently uploaded VOD of the Final Control Room + a bit of Eret's monologuing once the war fully ends and they're on their own. Note that the clips were chosen based on what I personally found interesting, so some parts of the conversations that I thought were repetitive or lacked substance got cut. You can find them in the full VOD.

Transcription below the cut:

Eret: "Down with the revolution boys! It was never meant to be." [Members of L'Manburg ask how Eret could betray them. Eret leaves their VC to join Dream Team's] Eret: "Hello there." Dream: “YEEES LET’S GOO!!” Punz: “Oh my God.” Dream: “Eret is now our- our- our king.” Dream & Eret: *laugh gleefully* Dream: “Wha- how did they react? I didn’t have their stream pulled up.” Eret: “They were so devastated.” Dream: *laughs gleefully* “LET’S GOOOO! That was EPIC. They did not see it coming in any way whatsoever.” Eret: “No-” Dream: “There are no traitors in war, it does not-”  *laughs* Eret: “You guys- you guys offered me land, you guys offered me resources. We were- we were against a force we could not fight, I truly just saw the brighter way.” Dream: *cackles* “So you have as much land as you want to expand upon your- expand upon your castle.” Sapnap: “Do we go to their land now?” Dream: “No. Don’t- don’t go in their land. Um. Just take the good stuff, let’s go hide it. They can’t see-” Eret: “No mercy.” Dream: “How do you feel? How do you feel?” Eret: “Oh, I’m shaking a little bit, not gonna lie!” Dream and Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “Do you feel bad?” Eret: “Not a bit.” Dream and Eret: *both laugh*

[big cut during which L'Manburg got blown up, Dream dueled Tommy and exchanged Tommy's discs for independence]

Dream: “We have gathered here today. We have won in every way possible. I don’t think there is a single thing that we have lost. They may be delusional and think that they now have this land, but I told them that, er it- we’re still considering them a part of the Dream Team SMP. So, basically they’ve won nothing, and we won everything, and now everybody gets to keep everything they have. I don’t think anybody used the God apples we got, so you guys get an extra God apple *laughs* than you had. And, basically, we won in every way! We got their town in ruins. They may rebuild, but we will remember this day, this is- this is the day of reckoning.” Eret: “The day of victory.” Dream: “The day of victory. And Eret is the- is the king. And that is all that matters. And the funny thing is: they would have done the same thing, they just- they just weren’t smart enough to.” Eret: *chuckles*

Dream: “How do you guys feel?” Sapnap: “Feel good.” Eret: “Feel good.” George: “Feel splendid.” Eret: “Magnificent even.” Dream & Eret: *chuckle* [Dream points out that Punz is muted] Punz: “I feel amazing. Eret can build in peace now.” Dream: “Exactly. Now Eret can keep expanding his castle instead of— instead of a small piece of land.” Eret: “Yeah, it’s like… they say ‘what have you done for us?’ I got them all their armor, I built this castle, I did— *laughing* I did most of the stuff.” Dream: “You like did basically everything!” Eret: “Yeah!” Dream & Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “You did basically everything, that’s why you knew you would lose cuz once you did everything you were like… ‘well, okay, I mean—’” Eret: “I’ve done everything.” Dream: “Everything I’ve done is not enough to win, and I’ve done basically everything.” Eret: “Yeah, so I did everything, I was like ‘welp’” *laughs* “We’re gonna lose, I’m gonna— I’m gonna dip.” *laughs* Dream: *laughs* “That is great. That is great. Me and Eret, we’ve been friends, we’ve been allies, so we would never- even when he originally switched sides, I had a feeling that he would come back around because-” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “-we’ve been allies from the beginning.” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “And plus I’ve said he can build wherever he wants and he’s like ‘ah that’s a good point, actually, I like building’.”

Dream: “Tommy, Tommy- I have Tommy’s discs now, so… That’s good, I lost them in the Disc War, so. We’ve actually won two wars today, cuz we won the war, and then the other war which I technically lost, I have… the only thing I lost in that war.”

[big cut during which Dream talks to Wilbur]

[Dream talks about how the Final Control Room was great for people’s content] Dream: “I’m sure they’ll have a play-grudge with you for a while.” *laughs* Eret: “Yeah, probably. There are people in my chat who are legitimately upset with me.” Dream and Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “Oh, I’m sure they are. Well, it’s war.” Eret: “It is war.” Dream: “There’ll always be people that are upset in war.” Eret: “All is fair in love and more.” Dream: “No mercy. Exactly. All is fair in love and war. There’s a lotta love and a lotta war involved. Exactly. And- and, it’s just that… friendship prevailed and that’s all that matters.” Eret: “Yeah, exactly.” [...] Dream: “That was- that was crazy. That’s- that’s how- you gotta be a good showman. When I came to you with that idea, I was like it’s gonna be such a good- it’s just showmanship. You have to have- you have to have good showmanship to be-” Eret: “Otherwise- otherwise what? We end up in a cold war for ages? Fight until the world ends?” Dream: “No, exactly” Eret: ”No, we have a definitive ending now, so… At least you’d hope so.” Dream: “I’m sure they’ll come back-” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “-and then they’ll get, like, super stacked and then they’ll be like ‘alright, let’s fight them now’.” Eret and Dream: *both laugh*

[part of Dream and Eret's conversation is cut because it was mostly them being hyped about FCR all over again el o el]

Eret: *exhales* "Take my place as king of the Dream SMP. KING Eret, boys. KING Eret! I am KING of Dream SMP! No one can stop me!" *runs into closed gate* "Maybe this fence can..." *opens gate* "Okay, no one can stop me!" *laughs gleefully* "Look at my castle. Everyone knew, everyone should've known that I was king of this land from the start. EVERYONE should've known. No one saw it coming. NO ONE saw it coming." [cut to Eret sitting on the throne] Eret: "We rule over this land. We win! This is VICTORY, boys. Victory! This is what victory looks like." Eret, reading chat: "'A king without friends is nothing'. I have friends. My friends are Dream, Sapnap, George, Punz. I'm friends with all of them. They promised me victory, they promised me friendship. They didn't promise me friendship, we were friends before. King Eret!

[oathkeeperoxas]

TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs part 5

Good morning aviators, this is your Captain speaking - and I bring you more icemav fic recs to enjoy 💖

Rec list 1 here

Rec list 2 here

Rec list 3 here

Rec list 4 here

Bodies in Motion by @elwenyere

It takes Maverick a while to notice Ice is always moving.

As always, Elwen has hit it out of the park with a character and relationship study that says so much in so little, and also happens to be very hot too.

all the waves and the tides by Cristinuke

After a summer's day of playing dogfight football with the dagger squad, Ice and Mav come home to take a bath, relax, and continue their teasing conversation.

Slice of life fic and domestic fluff is just everything that I ever want, and this fic delivers in spades. Old man loving is written so perfectly as well 💖

Kissed By The Sun by @wordsonamission

After the volleyball game, Maverick is left with a nasty sunburn across his shoulders. He tries to ignore it until it fades, but the pain of the burn is starting to get to him. The guys at Top Gun give him a rough time about leaving the game early to meet up with Charlie but Ice notices that the source of Maverick's frustration isn't so much his failed dated as the tender state of his skin. Ice lets Maverick borrow a bottle of aloe and is even nice enough to help him apply it where Maverick can't reach . . . alternatively: Fellas, is it gay to smear aloe on your crush's body in the locker room after hours while making intense eye contact in the mirror?

The lengths gone to excuse slathering aloe all over your crush in this are simply epic. Men will use any reason to touch each other. Fic is well written and you can feel the summer heat radiating from it!

smoke signals by @qin-ling

Maverick figures it out on the Enterprise, sweat-soaked and high on adrenaline. Their skin brushes and it's fire in his veins, like sunlight, like a beacon in the night, and every neon sign points to— Iceman figures it out much earlier than that. Or; Maverick and Iceman are soulmates. They work it out.

Soulmate AUs in this fandom are always so crunchy, and this one does NOT disappoint! Very hot, emotionally fulfilling with excellent writing!

Bleed Out by @betanoiz

As soon as they're back from the mission Maverick goes to the hospital where Iceman is still in a coma. Things with Bradley are better, almost good, so the only thing left on his mind is the man fighting for his life - post-canon icemav looking at their history and the bits they've missed

aaaaughhhh angst my beloved... This is written with so much yearning and love and goes straight to the heart 🥺

everything's all by the way by Cristinuke

Ice and Mav have an enlightening conversation after Ice's divorce goes through.

Exes to friends to lovers is the best configuration of icemav, you can't change my mind. Very glad to have found this fic, which does the trope excellently!

twenty dollars verse by alecjbi

"Alright, the bet is $20. You have to have carnal knowledge-- of a lady this time-- on the premises." This is the story of the other time.

The back and forth between Mav and Ice here is great - love the backstory for Ice that the author crafted, and how it plays into the icemav relationship and how they approach their relationship.

your fingerprints on my skin by @saengak

Everyone calls them soulmarks—the flush of peachy red that appears on your skin whenever your soulmate touches you. It's supposed to be romantic, how the evidence of your soulmate's little affections linger. The brush of their hand. A kiss. "Don’t touch me," Ice had snapped in his face, just before the soulmark had painted itself on Pete’s skin.

Another soulmate AU, we are truly eating well. While it takes a while to get there, the end result is very worth it - and the banter and teasing at the end is so very good.

This One's For You! by ReapersOrchid

The other boys started to laugh, Slider almost choking on his spit in the process, while Ice just facepalmed slowly, hiding his face in his hands. "Oh, my god...." "Are you sure that this is the one you want, Ice?" Asked Sundown and laughed. "Unfortunately.....yes."

Short and sweet and cute, love this for Ice and Mav XD

A Shared Cup by @susiecarter

It was only a training exercise. It was only supposed to be a training exercise.

This author makes me insane I swear - this fic is so excellent, with so much ground covered in the rivals to lovers, the emotions are so thick and well earned, and the set up and worldbuilding is amazing too. Highly recommend!!

[lookitsaflyingtoaster]

Liveblogging the Finale because why not Part 2

Only the recap and I'm already going to cry aaaaaah

More fucking hellhouse monsters, because that's what we needed now..

Cutting the treats between them 😟 that's sounds terrible, man is there something elders can't do?

Love that Ira just looks like Ira, good for him

KILL REESE KILL REESE

Man, Tremire shit is insane, peak wizard shit

Apocalyptic Form?! The music goes hard Y0OO THATS COOL WTF

Love the description how the others feel about hihihihhihhehehehe

-10??!!

FUCK THIS BULLSHIT

1 POINT OF DAMAGE ARE YOU FUCKING FR RN

Im only 40 minutes in btw how am I supposed to survive this bullshit.

Everyone is so OP rn

Noooooo shit fuckk shittt

No, fuck no Johnny

Thinking about his Daughter.. I can't do this shit

Hey, Fuck you Zuzel 🙂

HEY DONT TALK TO THE GIRLS LIKE THAT 🤬

"Get up, because nobody is coming to help you" I love Wynn so much

GET HER ASSS

Jumpscared by Zuzels voice again wait Was his name Zuzel or was that the peachyville creature? Ah naa it's Zophil

fuck I don't think I can take what ever conversation is coming now 😭

The fact that the beast isn't present 😭 in death they are human

"I just need you to know that I tried, I tried so hard" man I can't even cry rn

The Sounds for the demon stuff is so good

Tim sounds like he has so much fun 😂

NOT THE FUCKIN SPONGE MUSHROOM SHIT

Why are talking about movies now?, the way Ira says the movie titles😂

HOLY SHIT, LETS FUCKIN GOO KILL HER

WEATHERS?!!

Wynn reaction fuck I can't do this

They care so much about each other so much I'm going to to throw up😭😭

Man i still can't cry I want to cry

Okay now I'm crying, all of them on the roof together, the extra cigarette😭 I love them all so much.

Wynn☹️

I know this is the last episode but there is still so much to do, still so many answers to get.

Oh shit oh fuck I forgot about that

Ahffjkesk😭 but also epic Wynn, miles end fight?

Oh all the goodbyes

Chaps is alive :)

Ahhhh this is a way more hopefully ending than I thought😭

Oo the old intro

There will be a next Time?!🙂

Post credit??

Ooo OH SHIT

Fuck fuck (but this is so cinematic)

What a great Finale, really makes me want to do fanart

ignoring the fact that I am the slowest artist of the world and the only real PoN art I made has been laying around for atleast 2 months now..

[chaoticklesblog]

Not Quite Immune

Published: 2024-09-16 to Chaotickles on AO3

Words: 1,385

The Umbrella Academy

Lee!Five

Ler!Diego

Ler!Luther

With a smidgen of Lee!Diego and Ler!Lila

◆◇◆◇◆

Summary:

Five should know better that his lack of powers would no doubt lead to mischief of epic proportions between his older (or younger?) siblings. He quickly discovers he isn't exactly immune to an older affliction, and his Luther and Diego have no qualms about ensuring he gets what is coming to him. Spending his youth avoiding tickle fights was bound to catch up with him, especially in a timeline where he can't just teleport away. Set in the end of Season 3, where the Hargreeves realize they are without powers and adjusting to relative normalcy.

◆◇◆◇◆

The Hargreeves siblings cleared time once a month for a dinner, just to catch up and appreciate the normalcy of it all in the new timeline. Appreciating their new found freedom and lack of responsibility to repair a broken timeline. The siblings would meet in a dive restaurant, still appreciating a quieter atmosphere, or would agree to meet at one of their houses for a homemade dinner.

This particular evening, dinner was hosted at Diego and Lila's home. Lila had already warned them that they would be ordering Pad Thai because she despised cooking.

All the siblings ate surrounded by the coffee table, laughed and joked with one another each claiming an area on the overstuffed furniture or floor. When it inevitably got to a break in the conversation where Luther, hesitant to have the evening end too soon, he would begin to reminisce about their past- the good memories.

"I'm just saying! Dad was pissed when he found out that Klaus had broken the ant farm and they all escaped," Luther chuckled.

"That's because they found their way into dad's candy stash!" Ben laughed. "Can you all believe the man had a sweet tooth?"

"Hey, the ant farm never would have fallen off the dresser if the prick wasn't so adamant about us running midnight drills!" Klaus argued, but he couldn't help but grin at his siblings.

The rest of them laughed fondly at the memory, despite Reginald banning the rest of them from keeping pets ever again after the great Ant Farm Escape of 1999.

"What about the time Diego and Luther got into a wrestling match and knocked over the bookshelf with dad's first editions?" Allison smiled at her brothers, grateful they no longer fought as much as they used to.

"I remember that distinctly! And it was not a wrestling match. I was cornered and chased! Diego was defensive immediately. "And Luther is a cheater!"

Luther laughed.

"I remember that too! And tickling is absolutely not cheating!"

Diego crossed his arms.

"Yeah, but you were definitely stronger than the rest of us thanks to your power. Your tickling was brutal!" Diego shuddered at the memory. Luther definitely cheated. At least in Diego's mind.

"You're ticklish, babe?" Lila grinned next to Diego and she noticed him tense and lock his arms to his sides as her hands darted to scrabble at his ribs and sides.

Diego barked out a short laugh quickly grabbing his girlfriend's evil hands.

"NohoHOhoHO LilahahaHA!" Diego giggled.

Luther looked smug.

"He's ridiculously ticklish! I'm surprised you didn't know!" Luther watched as Lila tried grabbing at Diego's hips but he narrowly escaped.

"Whatever! Cheater." Diego glowered at Luther. "And your power definitely used to offer an unfair advantage in tickle fights."

The rest of them spent time talking about how their powers had a sort of advantage in combat (tickle fights).

Luther was obviously the strongest and had more stamina to outlast the others in a tickle fight. Diego didn't have much of an advantage, but the threat of his knife throwing skills could quickly dissuade a tickle attack. Allison could rumor her siblings to turn on another victim or rumor someone to be more ticklish than they actually were. Klaus never really put up much of a fight against his siblings. He never minded being tickled to pieces. Five would blip to a safe part of the house to remain in hiding while his siblings would tickle each other half to death. Ben would occasionally use his tentacles to tickle his siblings. Viktor was generally excluded but had a few memories of being dragged into the fray.

They laughed and chattered at the memories of their tickle fights. All of them except... Five.

Five had grown... uncomfortable to say the least. Having usually vanished the moment dog piles typically turned into tickle brawls, he had almost no experience being the victim of tickle fights with his siblings.

And unfortunately, Diego and Luther noticed his uncomfortable demeanor.

Diego and Luther had returned to the original argument of using Luther's strength to cheat in a tickle fight.

"How is that worse than Five teleporting away to avoid ever getting tickled at all?" Luther argued chuckling and shooting a glance at Five.

Uh oh.

Five definitely didn't like where this was going.

"Well, nobody can cheat at tickle fights because none of us have powers anymore," Viktor tried to take the locked stares of Diego and Luther off an already uncomfortable Five.

But his observation didn't help Five's case.

"Riiiight," Diego smirked. "Because now Five can't just cheat and blip away from a tickle fight anymore."

All the siblings turned to look at Five who had jumped up from the recliner he had perched in.

"I assure you that this childish nonsense won't work on me, besides, I should get going." Five made a few paces toward the door but Luther and Diego stood in his way. Even without powers, the two were much bigger and stronger than Five. And Five quickly realized he wasn't getting out of this unscathed.

Even without powers, the threat of being overpowered by two "older brothers" intending to tickle the everloving snot out of you was a relatively terrifying ordeal.

Five tried to school his features as his brothers lunged for him but the lanky kid just wasn't as coordinated as he was when he could just vanish away from trouble. It was a moment like this where he wished they still had their powers. He soon found himself pinned, Luther, still all muscles, pinning his arms above his head and Diego positioning himself on Five's legs. Five started struggling.

"Guys, please. Don't." Five begged, something that felt like panic, but sillier, rising in his chest.

"This is only fair, Five. Think of all the fun you missed out on because you were too afraid of a little tickling." Diego teased.

"You're not quite immune to being ticklish, are you Five?" Luther smirked down at his squirming little brother who was actually much older than the rest of them. Five's mind may have aged but his body surely didn't. And his physiological reactions to being tickled never changed either.

Diego and Luther began exploring his various tickle spots and Five was trying not to die of embarrassment. It didn't help that Lila, Ben, Allison, Viktor and Klaus offered an unwelcome audience to this very one sided tickle massacre.

"Go for his knees!" Klaus crowed.

"FUhuHUck yohouhohoHoHO KLAUSAHAHAH!" Was all Five could say in response as Diego methodically began squeezing his much smaller brother's most ticklish spot.

Combined with Luther's incessant digging into his underarms, Five was in tickle hell.

So this is what it was like? This is why Five could distinctly remember his siblings being tickled to tears and hearing their loud booming laughter from across the mansion all those years ago? The hysterical begging and screaming of his siblings despite the laughter was remembered as a warning as Five hid to avoid the inevitable until Reginald had put a stop to their nonsense.

This is what he was missing out on?

Five felt like he was going crazy. The funny feeling of the tickling along with Luther and Diego laughing at his happy and snort filled laughter and his other siblings who watched him writhe around, amused at the sight brought forth feelings Five didn't realize he had up until this timeline.

Feelings that maybe, just maybe, Five could be vulnerable and have somewhat a normal existence with his adopted siblings. Despite feeling embarrassed by this whole ordeal, he actually no longer had a reason to believe that being tickled was as scary as it seemed. Because it was much, much worse.

Diego and Luther were a ruthless pair. Exploiting all Five's sweet spots until he was gasping and choking for air not unlike his siblings had done in past tickle fights.

Finally, when they stopped, Five had come to the realization he didn't quite hate being tickled although he would never admit that to his siblings or to anyone.

And his brothers seemed grateful for the opportunity to horse around with him even if it meant they nearly tortured him to death. Without his power, Five couldn't easily escape such situations, and maybe he was starting to realize he didn't want to.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 41

Well. Holy shit.

It's 1955, and hot on the heels of the incredibly socially important episode about Partition, we get one of the greatest episodes this show has ever produced: Rosa, co-written by Malorie Blackman.

(Funnily enough, once again, this dumbest of watch orders has triumphed - this close to Demons in the Punjab, you feel emotionally prepped for Rosa. "Ah yes," you think. "A much-needed and blindingly important historical episode that educates white British people in race relations. One of the functions of Doctor Who."

You still aren't ready.)

I mean this without hyperbole: of every episode, book, comic, radio show, and everything else Doctor Who has ever produced or had a hand in, this one makes you feel the imminent danger to the companions the most, and on a level that none other ever has. We get Whittaker, Ryan, Yaz and Graham back as they all go to Montgomery Alabama, the day before Rosa Parks stages her sit-in protest, and sweet Christ on a stick they do not pull their punches in making every single white person into a raging cunt of epic proportions. They do not shy away from stressing that Ryan could be lynched at literally any time and it would be legally sanctioned. They are not coy about citing the real-life murder of Emmett Till - murdered for daring to speak to a white woman - within seven minutes of the opening credits, after a white man physically assaults Ryan and snarls that he will have him "swinging from a tree with a rope for a kerchief, boy".

It is visceral and shocking and completely out of the normal tone of this show. Part way through, Ryan chooses to go off alone because his spine is apparently made of fecking titanium, and I honestly don't think I relaxed for the rest of the episode (although it leads to a fantastic scene of him meeting the leaders of the civil rights movement, including Martin Luther King Jr, and I really mean that it is FANTASTIC). I've watched companions be menaced by everything from statues to large pepper pots to fucking Bertie Botts; I've seen them trapped in drifting spaceships, partially turned into birds and fish, stuck in the Blitz, slaughtered in the Massacre of St Bartholomew's Eve, melted, possessed, infected, mutilated, and threatened with compulsory roller derby membership. I have seen it all and then some. Some I have seen in more than one iteration.

This is the only episode where I have been genuinely frightened for one. I've aged, Tumblrs. 73, I am now. Wizened.

Anyway. You know the story of Rosa Parks sitting on the bus and refusing to give her seat to white people. This episode does cover that, but it does so through the medium of an awful time travelling neo-Nazi, complete with Richard Spencer haircut, who has been released from intergalactic prison Stormfront Stormcage and decided to use a vortex manipulator like Captain Jack's to come to 1955 and stop the Montgomery Bus Boycott from happening. There's a nasty scene where he tells Ryan he's doing it to stop Ryan's "kind" from "rising above their station", so when I say he's a neo-Nazi, I am not pissing about, and nor was this show. (Ryan shoots him with a time gun in the end that sends him to a prehistoric past trololol enjoy that, conservative, you people love The Past)

The TARDIS team spend the episode trying to nudge history back into place so the protest can happen. It's genius, really - super simple sci-fi plot, so the focus can be on the social issues. There's a beautiful conversation between Ryan and Yaz about the way they both still face racism in the present day, and the way Ryan has to constantly police his emotions and faces police discrimination even now; but, also about the nature of social change, and the importance of looking forwards and fighting the good fight. There's also a great scene when they first get on a bus - Ryan is forced to sit at the back, but Yaz doesn't know where to sit. The driver lets her on at the front, but she's not white - so which box do they want her in? "Does 'coloured' just mean black in the 1950s?" she asks, having been accused twice of being 'Mexican'. It's a subtle performance, but the indecision of it - guessing if she's endangering herself or not - is shown to be genuinely distressing.

God, fuck, this is such a good episode. It's absurdly good. They fit so much in 42 minutes, while still making it a Doctor Who episode and yet not shirking on any of the fundamental issues. And the writing is still deftly done - there's a dry humour that they intersperse throughout as a palate cleanser that never undoes the impact of the social stuff, like some stupid MCU LOL NOT REALLY bit of obnoxious bathos; instead it's a foil for the serious stuff, making it that bit more impactful. And! A rare Sexy Lamp Test pass for all three companions! That does not often happen in Chibnell's run, so shout out there.

Anyway. ANYWAY. I could honestly write a whole scene by scene breakdown of this episode complete with citations and explain in exquisite detail how much I love it, punctuated with "We laughed at this bit, and then cried at this bit, and threw shoes at the screen at this bit" but uhhhh, that is not the point of this project. So I shall stop.

Plot threads! Any answers? Not really. A few things we've seen before though, like the vortex manipulator, that was fun.

And apparently there's a big prison called Stormcage that puts anti-violence implants into its inmates' heads before release! That's fun. Good to know that policy.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?)

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?

How does the Doctor survive River

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: The Fall Guy

When's the last time you saw a film that was just fun? A film that's devoid of all political messaging, agenda bias and was just plain, good old fashioned fun from beginning to end. It has truly been a while where a film like that has existed and especially in the action / romantic comedy genres. This film brings that feeling back with a bang in every conceivable way and I was here for it. I never saw the original 1980's series it was based on, but I do appreciate real stunt work and when it is recognized by the masses. Like Tropic Thunder, this film has the fun and hilarious idea of showing you the inner workings of the film industry while highlighting the unsung heroes of cinema, the stunt men and women. Not only does this film feature some excellent action and stunt work, but it features a truly funny and heartwarming love story that is predictable at times, but still manages to be fresh and classical. Fortunately, this film features a cast that has brilliant chemistry to bring it all home.

Ryan Gosling was fantastic and hilarious as the awkward, charming and fun seasoned stuntman Cole Seavers. Not only did he take so many hits and look great in action, but his trademark charm and comedic timing is on full display. Its always fun to see a character's arc of remembering his self worth and what gave him purpose in life. Cole goes through that arc in a sometimes dark, but always in a fun and energetic way. Emily Blunt was fantastic as his former lover and now film director, Jody Moreno. Their chemistry never stopped being magnetic from the opening scene to the bombastic finale. You really feel the connection they had and the heartbreak between them. The best scene between them was during her direction of fiery action shot that brilliantly brought out the painful conversation that usually happens in a coffee shop or side street in other films like this. Jody gets in on the action as well and Emily shows off her often forgotten stunt capabilities. Winston Duke was awesome as Cole's bestfriend and stunt coordinator, Dan Tucker. He was truly having the time of his life in his fight scenes and of course the execution of the stunt sequences "on set". Hannah Waddingham was great and very manic as the film producer, Gail Meyer. She really nailed the always reassuring and manipulative on set producer that has a metric ton of caffeine running through her veins. Aaron Taylor-Johnson was good as the “movie star” that Cole doubles for, Tom Ryder. As Tom, he nailed that typical and over the top version of a movie star that lives the party life and never takes responsibility for his actions. Johnson was hilarious in a good number of moments and a bit sinister in others. Stephanie Hsu was good as Tom's assistant, Alma Milan and I liked that she wasn't helpless during a particular scene.

Composer Dominic Lewis brings the film to life in an epic, poppy and fun spirited way. I loved the many different variations of the classic "I Was Made For Lovin' You Baby" by KISS. Yungblud's version was raspy, full of soul and plays in a perfect moment of the film. I truly love when stunts are showcased in frame and are not cheapened with shakey cam and this film truly showcases stunts and action beautifully. There is a scene that felt like the finale of an amazing stunt show that I would totally pay to go see. This film was a love letter to the stunt performers in the film industry around the world and I had so much fun watching them work. This was definitely the best way to start the summer film season and one of my favorite films of the year. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[sagesariadnd]

You know a detail I really love when it comes to spellcasting in D&D and tv/movies?

When the magic has its own signature or style based on who's casting it.

The Legend of Vox Machina is a great example of this, because pretty much every school of magic - and sometimes even the individual characters - have a distinct visual or technique. Delilah's necromancy is a prime example; it's all in shades of black and purple with jagged lines, it sounds like the screams of the damned, and it pulls from life essence, either from blood sacrifices or even just the jutting veins in Delilah's arms as she's casting, as if it's pulling the energy straight out of her body. Scanlan's magic is all flashy and transparent purple, radiant magic such as Pike or Kash's is gold and glowing. Keyleth I noticed does a motion of pulling energy out of the gem in her staff for a lot of spells, and I also noticed a lot of her spells make her cry out as she's exuding force, which feels very correct for druidic magic because it feels almost primal or instinctual.

Honor Among Thieves did this a bit, too, specifically thinking of the final encounter with Sophina, when she and Simon have the Bigby's Hand fight. They're obviously both casting Bigby's Hand, but Simon's is made of stone from the pebbles and cobblestones on the ground, while Sophina's is red and fleshy, much like her undead nature.

My Friday night character Sheyleigh, as a Way of Shadow monk, has access to a handful of spells using ki, which is how I ended up going down a rabbit hole of thinking of ki as just another way of channeling magic. I thought of spellcasting through that lens as Sheyleigh, and describe pretty much all of her spellcasting through a series of tai chi moves, like she's gathering her ki into one place to make the magic happen. And when she multiclassed into a trickery cleric of the Traveler (I'll get into that story when I make a proper post about her), I also considered his style and how their aesthetics mix - when she first started going down the path of multiclassing, I described her attempting to channel her ki into a Guiding Bolt, and the way I described it was intentionally inspired by Dragonball Z's Kamehameha and the various bending techniques in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Honestly, ATLA is a good reference for a lot of abilities when it comes to monks, and not just if you're playing Way of the Four Elements.

This is honestly one of the reasons why I love playing bards so much; music is so diverse and evokes so many moods, that there really are endless options for how that manifests into music. My bardlock Ameila, for example, used to have a hurdy-gurdy which her patron was sealed in, and I used the music of hurdy-gurdy player Andrey Vinogradov for the sort of musical palette of the character. There's a very dark, ominous sound to it, that I felt represented the darkness of her patron and an element of Ameila being a bit afraid of her own powers, with heavy inspiration from HP Lovecraft's __The Music of Erich Zann__. Conversely, my folk hero bard-rogue Glerble the Goblin is very boisterous and flashy, and his spells and inspiration come from epic ballads and over-the-top one-liners. I've had ideas kicking around for a tiefling bard who creates music exclusively through prestidigitation and minor illusion to put on synthesized music and light shows like a magical EDM performer, I've considered a bard-monk who fights using a bass flute as a quarterstaff or kashakas as nunchaku...honestly I could be here forever talking about all the different ways I've considered bardic magic.

I don't know if I had anywhere in particular to go with this. Just saying that it's really fun and cool to consider how magic may look and feel different from school of magic to school of magic, and from character to character. If you haven't tried roleplaying out your spellcasting components, try it sometime! 10/10 would recommend!

[watching-pictures-move]

Dawn of the Dead… in 3D!

This has been one of my favourite movies since I was sixteen years old, and formative in my love of the horror genre, so it was very nice to be able to see it with @thedrillerkiller on the big screen, and in 3D. That’s 1.5 times as much movie, if you do the math. So obviously I had a good time. I won’t have any great new insights about a movie I’ve seen a billion times and that much smarter people than myself have discussed to death, so let me rattle off a few thoughts about the 3D conversion.

I used to be a purist for this stuff, but I think this is a really interesting choice for the format. A lot of the movie has characters looking down the barrels of their guns either towards or away from the camera, so this visual strategy lends itself pretty naturally to the depth offered by the format. Think of the part where H. Scott Reiniger kicks and shoots a zombie, or when Ken Foree looks through the scope of a rifle in the gun shop.

So as a result the gore pops as well, as Romero often frames it for obvious emphasis or will sometimes have viscera pop out at the camera. At least one headshot results in a zombie’s brains erupting towards the viewer. If someone near the front had tossed their ketchup-covered fries behind them, this could have been a 4D viewing, but luckily this was not the case.

But there are moments when the 3D accentuates other effects, varied in tone. There’s montage of the trophy heads in the gun shop or the different products on sale though out the mall, Romero’s satirical jabs getting just a little more punch from the extra dimension. Or, in contrast, the scene where Foree comforts a deteriorating Reiniger from the other room, the 3D almost adding a visual echo to the shot where Foree is framed through a doorway. It feels just a little more poignant.

And while one of the complaints about 3D conversions has been their dimness, I think the extra pop of the candy coloured blood against the extra brown, Carter-era sheen works really well. Has any movie used the period’s visual drabness to such deadening effect? This truly is a zombie epic for the Malaise era.

And speaking as someone who had a huge crush on Gaylen Ross when I first saw this as a teenager, I was not immune to the power of her performance on the big screen with the extra dimension.

And as for the movie, I think Ebert put it best:

“If you can see beyond the immediate impact of Romero's imagery, if you can experience the film as being more than just its violent extremes, a most unsettling thought may occur to you: The zombies in ‘Dawn of the Dead’ are not the ones who are depraved. They are only acting according to their natures, and, gore dripping from their jaws, are blameless.

“The depravity is in the healthy survivors, and the true immorality comes as two bands of human survivors fight each other for the shopping center: Now look who's fighting over the bones! But ‘Dawn’ is even more complicated than that, because the survivors have courage, too, and a certain nobility at times, and a sense of humor, and loneliness and dread, and are not altogether unlike ourselves. A-ha.”

Listen, you can whine about some of the times he’s been wrong or whatever, but when he’s right, he’s right.