#such a miserable feeling in my heart lately and it won’t go away and it’s dragging and dragging me down

[groupwest]

it’s not fair. i cannot feel individual injustices, everything culminates into the present moment, into a life that is unliveable. i can’t make sense of how i got here but i know that it couldn’t have turned out any other way. as if the whole world and everyone in it was working against me. as if everything’s the opposite of how it should be. as if people like me were not ever supposed to flourish in this kind of world. and it’s not fair because the earth is still here just the same, there’s still wide open paddocks and huge reaching trees and dark damp womb gullies, the world that i was made to live in still exists, in fact it’s just over the hill and all around me. but everyone tells you that is not your home, you must have a home, one that’s square shaped with smooth cardboard walls and a dry floor and a roof and windows and doors you can lock to lock the world outside.

the evenings have always been the hardest time of every day for me, because there’s some human law that forbids nighttime curiosity, forbids us lingering in that cool peaceful air for too long. lest we get bored. lest we think big nighttime thoughts for too long. we are the closest to ourselves in the night. all those daytime noises cease and you can hear yourself much more clearly.

humans are such sensory beings and this world we’ve build is just too full of far too many sensations, they are all so confusing. it makes me panic. i want to go home. real home. no more four walls. i want to learn how to exist outside of that and be happy, for that to be enough. for the simple fact of being myself and being alive with my feet planted on this ground to be enough. everything that ever happened led me here, willed me into existence and gave me a life and a riddle to solve. so i’ll keep trying to make sense of it all. there is a reason and a story, if there was a beginning there must be an end. an ending. an answer.

[rockstarhaechan]

nct dream reacting to you saying i love you to them first | nct dream ot7

summary: nct dream reacting to you telling them you love them before they say it !

pairing: !nct dream x !fem reader

warnings: SMUT ( minors dni ), pet names ( love, darling etc ), fluff, arguing, eating out, fwb, angst (?)

word count: 1.1k

note: thank you for everyone who’s supporting me with likes and reblogs lately! i love you <3 also thanks to @yeppietennie for inspiring me with the jaemin part

mark: “ could you repeat that?” he asks you turning his head into your direction.

mark can’t believe what he just heard, he is freaking out over you saying that you love him first.

he slowly moves closer to you, grabbing your hand while he’s waiting for you to say it again.

“i love you mark” you repeated like mark requested you to do so, looking into his eyes.

“dude, are you for real?” mark was still not believing what he just heard again, you took the opportunity and pulled him

into a passionate kiss, after some time he pulled away and only said “ man i wanted to tell you that first” while acting sad.

renjun: “i love you” you blurred out, quickly looking away, focusing on the book in front of you again.

“you can’t just say i love you and then go back into reading your book like this never happened y/n” renjun exclaimed and took your book away placing it behind his back.

“renjun give it back” you tried to get it back, moving over to him while trying to get your book back.

you reached out for your book but failed miserably, renjun catched you right on time before both of you fell backwards on the couch.

“i love you too” was all he said after he cuddled up to you on the couch.

jeno: both of you are fighting over the last cup of ramen and it almost turned into a blood bath.

jeno pulling while you’re also pulling on the cup which made you fall on your butt.

“i love you jeno, but that was rude my ass hurts now” breathing in and out while holding the ramen in your hands.

jeno on the other hand had to process what you’ve just said so he just stood there and waited for his brain to work again.

“baby, did you just say you love me?” jeno asked you while he dropped on the floor where you are sitting.

“look i really love y-“ before you were able to finish your sentence jeno had already picked you up, wrapping your legs around his torso while he walked the two of you into his bedroom placing small kisses along your neck and chest.

“i love you too baby” he smiled between kisses.

jaemin: jaemin and you’ve been childhood friends but you moved away.

after some years you decided to visit your hometown once again and jaemin invited you over to go to the movies together.

“y/n i’m so happy you’re back to visit” jaemin smiled happily while picking you up from the airport.

“i’m so happy to be back as well jaemin, i missed all of this, i’m debating if i should move back here” you explained to him, still unsure about what you’re planning.

you’ve been in love with jaemin for a long time now but never had the chance to confess to him, so you planned to do that today.

hours later you two were back in his car after you finished the movie in the cinema and you remembered this will be your last chance to tell jaemin how you really feel.

“jaemin, i want you to know that i loved you for a long time now, and i still love you” you confessed while playing with your fingers.

jaemin remained in silence hoping you’d say something else.

he decided shortly after to speak up because you won’t say anything else about the situation.

“i loved you too, i still do as well now. i just wish you’d never leave cause i would give you the world darling” jaemin was actually hurt, knowing you’ll leave again broke his heart.

you were 100% sure you wouldn’t leave him alone again.

“i won’t go anywhere without you again jaemin, i promise. i’m staying” you said to him and pulled him into a slow and gentle kiss.

haechan: haechan and you decided to keep things low.

you’ve been friends with benefits for a long time now, but both of you always say ‘no harsh feelings’ well you’ve fucked that one up after the third time both of you were fucking.

you fell hard, literally so hard, but you didn’t knew that haechan also fell hard even before you fell for him.

he only agreed to being friends with benefits cause he loved you already back then.

haechan was currently located between your legs, eating you out.

“oh god i love you so fucking much” you moaned out.

haechan immediately stopped his work and looked up at you “you said what?” you were about to cum, so you tried to push his head between your legs again.

haechan placed small kisses along your inner thighs while mumbling “ i love you so much more but we’re gonna talk about it later” before finishing you off.

chenle: when you knocked on the door where chenle has been practicing today you’ve never been more anxious than before.

when he opened the door you quickly turned away and walked over to the couch that has been standing in the back of the room.

after practice chenle stood in your way, blocking you from leaving.

“why have you been so distant today y/n?” his question made you cry but you didn’t even know why.

you’re scared to tell him that you have feelings for him and love him, scared it could ruin a perfectly fine friendship the two of you have.

“i don’t know if this will ruin everything that we have, but i love you chenle” you sobbed into your hands.

chenle on the other hand grinned and pulled you into a hug just comforting you while holding you close.

“stop crying love, i already knew that you’re in love with me cause i feel the same just wanted to hear you say it first” he laughed out.

jisung: jisung liked you for a long time now, he just didn’t know how to tell you.

he kept writing down ways about telling you how much he loves you, but he never had the guts to do so.

until one day.

you two were cuddled up together on the floor while watching venom.

“you wanna order some pizza?” he quickly asked you before grabbing his phone while typing in his order into the delivery app.

“a couple pizza?” you asked confused before it hit you.

“ji for how long have to been trying to get with me? you could’ve just told me that you love me because i love you too” looking at him with being purely scared hoping you didn’t get his message wrong.

“i’ve been trying to tell you for weeks now, i never had the chance to say it though or well not have the guts to” jisung told you but smiled a little bit.

enough with the talking, both of you weren’t able to notice the delivery guy ringing the doorbell cause both of you were caught up in something else.

[vodika-vibes]

Absolutely forgot about your new event! Congrats on the five hundred follower count vod'ika! I may send in a few, but for this oneI'm going with my birth stone, clone husband, and fave season <3

May I have Garnet with Rex in summer, where maybe he spots reader (fem or gn!) looking extremely uncomfortable from unwanted attention (nothing inherentlyuncomfortble in terms of sexually harassing or being violent, but just highly intimidating) when it's dusk? And Rex shoos the person away?

Hero

Summary: Rex’s favorite part of the day is when he’s able to pull away from his work to spend time with his girl. He’s not so impressed, though, when he goes to find her and sees her getting threatened by someone nearly a foot taller than her.

Pairing: Captain Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 658

Prompt: Garnet - Protective Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you! I hope you like this story. Protective Love is hard while having a word count limit, lol, but I hope you like it anyway~

This is his favorite part of the day.

His idiots, and he calls them that with all of the love in his heart, have been released to go and get drunk or whatever it is that they do with their free time. And he’s finally able to leave the barracks to go and meet up with his girl.

It’s hot and miserable outside, which means they’ll probably head back to her place to lounge by her pool.

For a moment, just a moment, Rex allows himself to fantasize about his stunning love clad in a blue bikini, while the setting sun paints her with golden highlights and makes her look like an actual goddess deserving of worship.

And then he shoves the thought to the back of his mind, and continues to their meeting spot.

His good mood remains, right up until he gets to the meeting spot and sees his cyare looking very uncomfortable with a man towering over her. She takes half a step back, and then man advances on her, to remain right in her personal space.

Rex scowls as he inserts himself into the situation. No one is allowed to make his cyare uncomfortable. “Sorry I’m late, cyare.” Rex says as he presses himself between his cyare and the stranger.

He feels her hand curl around his bicep, her touch light, ���You’re not late, I showed up early.”

Rex lightly pats the hand wrapped around his arm, and he smiles slightly when she drops her hand. And then he focuses his attention on the stranger, who looks deeply, deeply annoyed that Rex interjected.

“Can we help you?” Rex’s voice is mild, but there’s a thread of durasteel and a hint of violence there as well. His cyare likely won’t pick up on it…but the stranger definitely does based on how he grimaces.

“Nah. I was just…” The stranger pauses, “It doesn’t matter.” He turns and stalks away. Rex doesn’t turn to his cyare, though, until he’s sure that no one is going to start anything.

And then he turns to his cyare, and all of the negative emotions he’d been feeling fade away as though they were never there.

“I’m sorry,” She says, as she steps into his space, sliding into his welcoming arms, “I didn’t mean for you to have to get involved.”

“Hey,” He rests his chin on her head, “It’s my genuine pleasure to be able to protect you, cyare.”

She hums softly, “You shouldn’t have to protect me. I should be safe here.”

“Well, until you are, you have me to be your sword and shield.”

A laugh falls from his cyare, “Oh, when did you become charming, Rex?” She asks as she pulls away to look up at him, fondness in her gaze.

Rex’s face heats, “Well…you know…Jesse-”

She laughs again, “You don’t have to change yourself for me, Rex. I love you just as you are. Awkwardness and all.” She takes his hand in hers, “Now, let’s go home. It’s hot.”

“We’re going swimming?” He asks, maybe more than a little hopeful.

She grins and nods, “I bought us matching swimsuits. They were on sale.”

“What kind of swimsuits?” Rex asks as he falls into step with her.

“For you?”

“For you.”

She giggles and and moves so she’s walking backwards in front of him, one finger coming out to lightly tap his nose, “It’s a secret~”

“That means it’s a bikini, right?” Rex asks, not even bothering to hide the direction his thoughts have gone.

“It means it’s a secret.” She leans in, “But I promise you’ll like it.”

“Cyar’ika. You could walk around in a burlap sack, and I’d still like it.” He pauses, “Or ribbons-”

“Really? Ribbons?”

He smiles innocently, “If you want.”

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Fives and Jesse.”

“Yeah, but they give the best ideas.”

She shakes her head with a laugh, “Come on, Rex. Let’s go home.”

[devilishchaos]

Rings | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: pure fluff

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Y/N is pregnant and her rings don't fit anymore.

Warnings: just fluff that made me cry; use of pet names "babe", "baby"; mentions of struggling during pregnancy; soft Rúben (I had to)

Word Count: 1 319 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

“Babe, what are you doing?” you hear Rúben’s voice, mixed with curiosity and amusement, as he walks into your shared bedroom and finds you in a position that’s more than questionable. Lying on the bed with your legs up in the air, feet against the wall and one single sock miserably hanging off your left foot. 

“What does it look like I’m doing Dias?” you manage to mumble, totally out of breath. Your full-time job as a watermelon, aka a pregnant woman, is kicking in now at only six months pregnant, and being this huge now makes the easiest thing seem like rocket science. 

“Are you doing some kind of yoga?” he guesses walking over to you as you keep trying to get your way around with that damn sock. He sits beside you, watching you completely amused by your stunt as you struggle to see anything from your belly. 

“I’ve been trying to put on this fucking sock for about twenty minutes now, but I can’t!” you cry out, feeling the frustration bursting out of you, tears dwelling in your eyes. Both of you are aware that it’s just the hormones messing with your head, but it still makes you feel like a loser, not able to put on your own socks. 

“Hey, hey, no!” Rúben softly coos as he gently grabs your ankles and places your legs on his lap. Grabbing the sock that’s hanging from your foot and he easily rolls it all the way up your foot before reaching for the other one on the nightstand and putting it on as well. 

“Talk to me baby, what’s wrong exactly?” he murmurs, his magical fingers working on your feet, massaging the swollen limbs with ease. 

“You won’t get it..” you sob, throwing your arms to the side, staring up at the ceiling. 

“I want to try. Please, talk to me.” he pleads and you can’t hold a soft moan back when he hits a spot on your sole that’s been in pain for days. 

“I just..” You let out a shaky breath blinking the tears away, not wanting to cry again in front of Rúben. “..I don’t feel like myself and I feel huge, like, humongous..bending is not an option for me anymore. It’s really hard, I keep reminding myself of the blessing that’s gonna happen once this pregnancy is over, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been feeling miserable in my own skin for months.”

You can’t stop yourself from talking, the most absurd thoughts have been stirring in your mind lately and even though it’s for sure because of the baby, you still found yourself judging your own thoughts. 

“I don’t feel comfortable in anything, I am itchy all over and that drives me crazy. My feet and hands are so swollen, it’s almost scary..” you continue holding your hands up as you take a look at your sausage-like fingers. “..and today I’m afraid I reached the point where my rings aren’t ringing anymore. I couldn’t put them on, they just would not go on my finger. And it made me really sad, because I love wearing my wedding stack so much and it means so much to me..I feel like I’m the worst pregnant woman on Earth.” you moan covering your eyes with your hands. 

“Babe, look at me.” he pleads, gently squeezing your feet, but you shake your head 'no'. Your eyes are probably red already. “Baby, please look at me.” he tries again and this time you peek at him. 

A warm, kind smile sits on his soft lips and his eyes shine so bright like the most expensive diamonds on the planet. Your heart is flooded with love just by one look from him and you could cry over how much you love this man.

“You’re not big, you’re pregnant. There is another human inside you which is just mind-blowing and your body is amazing for doing what it’s been doing for these past months. I know pregnancy has been hard and I can only imagine what you're going through. It’s okay to be sad, I know you can’t help it. And as for the rings - Meu amor, It’s okay, you will wear them again after the baby is born, just because you can’t wear your rings, doesn’t mean we love each other any less.” 

“But I wanna wear them.” you said with a pout.

“Here..let’s try this.” he took your hand in his and tried to put his wedding band as a replacement of yours, but his one was too big for your fingers so it didn’t stay on. 

A heavy sigh blows through your lips as you close your eyes for a few seconds. 

“It’s okay. I will be fine..I’m just emotional, I wasn’t prepared for this day to come - where my rings no longer fit..” you gave him your best smile and suggested that you go through your guy’s day, because you knew he will have a tough training and had to leave soon. 

*

It was now close to 7 p.m. and Rúben had returned not long ago. You two were chilling on the couch in the living room after having a quick dinner, a random movie playing on the TV. 

“So how did training go?” you asked, glancing over at him. 

“It went well. Better than I thought it would.” he responded “How was your day?” 

“It was okay. Not different from yesterday or the day before..same as always.” you mumble with a grimace as he starts massaging your legs again. 

“I have something for you.” your husband stated, a mischievous look on his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box that he handed to you. 

“What is it?” you curiously asked, as you took the box from him. 

As you opened it your eyes started tearing up. Inside was placed a plain gold band. 

“Baby..” you looked up at Rúben, he leaned over to kiss you softly. 

“You were pretty devastated this morning about your rings, so I went to the jeweler after training and got you this as a substitute. He said that he could re-size yours but I thought it would take longer, so I just bought you this one. And it is just temporary so it should be good. Do you like it?” 

“Oh, I love it, Rúbes. Thank you. I love you.” you said, wiping a few tears that had fallen down your face, before leaning in to kiss him again. 

“I love you. Both of you, so much.” Rúben replied after breaking the kiss. “Put it on. Let’s see if it fits.”

“You put it on me, please.” 

He took the gold band out of the box, took your left hand and placed the band on your ring finger. 

“How does that feel? Is it okay, did I get the right size?” he wanted to make sure. 

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” you wrapped your arms around him so you could give him a hug. 

“Ouch!” you gasp and Rúben immediately launches closer, worry placed all over his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, frantically checking your body, looking for something that might be wrong with it. 

“Nothing, just..baby Dias is playing football again.” you groan as you grab Rúben’s hand and place it to the spot where you felt the movement. The baby kicks again and Rúben gasps in awe, eyes glued to your huge belly. He has received all kinds of movements from the baby with so much amusement and adoration, you just know he will dedicate his whole existence to this child. 

“I’m so sure this kid is going to be a football player like his daddy.” you sigh as you feel more movements. 

He shifts, brings his head closer to your bump and presses a soft kiss to the spot where your baby kicked last.

[mrsshabana]

"𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫"

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐: 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐱

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary Gyutaro is your classmate, and has always tried to make your life a living hell. You hate his guts and he hates yours too. But how will he react when he reads what you have to say about him in your diary? ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, hate sex, vaginal sex, creampie, rough sex, fingering, choking, degradation, public sex. ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.6k words. My first entry for kinktober this year!

✧:･ﾟ→ Kinktober Masterlist

“Hand it over.” He smirks, looming over you in the back of the classroom.

“Stop!” You whine, “Leave me alone, Gyutaro!”

He reaches over you, trying to grab at the diary you’re holding behind your back. Gyutaro has always been keen on harassing you, hell he harasses everyone in class but he seems to have a sick fascination with making your life a living hell. And when he saw you quickly stashing away a small book covered in cute girly stickers, he knew he had to have a peek.

“C’mon, just lemme see it,” he sneers, starting to get annoyed. When you continue to resist he snatches it from your grasp and shoves you to the side.

“Hey!!” You yelp, trying to take it away from him but he holds you back with ease. 

He smirks as he opens the diary to the bookmarked page, reading the words written in pink ink, “Dear diary, Gyutaro has made my life hell lately. That jerk doesn’t have an ounce of kindness in him! I can’t believe I actually used to have a crush on him. If only he wasn’t such an asshole, maybe we could have actually gotten along.”

Your heart sinks when you hear Gyutaro begin to cackle, he must have read what you wrote last night. The embarrassment and anger boiling within you is enough to push you to your edge. Your adrenaline rises as you lunge at him, pushing him against the desk, trying to grab at the diary he holds.

“Asshole!! Don’t laugh at me, it’s not funny!” you yell at him. Your tone is filled with anger yet there are tears streaming down your face. 

“You actually used to have a crush on me? That’s so cute and pathetic!” He laughs and holds the diary up above his head, “I bet you like this, huh? Being so close to me.”

“Shut up! I don’t like you anymore!” You lean further onto him, trying to climb over him to reach the diary, “I hate your guts! Everything about you is repulsive!”

He smirks, clearly enjoying your display of desperation as you try to get your precious diary back. But that’s when you feel something hard poking your thigh. 

Looking down, you see he has an erection that’s straining the front of his pants.

“Ew!” you squeal in disgust, immediately pushing his chest to get away from him. “What’s wrong with you?! Are you fucking hard right now?!”

With a sly grin he wraps a muscled arm around your waist, holding you against him. “Shut up, I know you like it with that pathetic little crush you have on me.”

Your face immediately heats up from his comment, “N-no! That crush was a long time ago! Before I figured out what an asshole you are.” You look away, averting from meeting his eyes, “Besides, you’re the one that’s turned on right now! You probably have a crush on me!”

His brows furrow and he scowls, “Shut it,” it seems you’ve hit a nerve. “You’re the most annoying girl in school! You aren’t even that pretty either,” a faint blush spreads across his cheeks, “Why would I ever like someone as pitiful as you?” He leans closer to your face as he spits harsh insults.

“You can say whatever you want about me! I don’t care what a delinquent like you thinks of me!” you lean in closer to him too, standing your ground. You’ve let him make you miserable for so long, but you’ve had enough. You won’t back down this time.

He growls, clenching his teeth and frowning when he realizes you’re not going to back down like you usually do. Gyutaro thinks that getting up in your face will intimidate you, but not this time. He gets closer, and closer, until your lips touch.

Closing his eyes, he grabs your face and pulls you into a rough kiss. At first your instincts are to push him away, but he’s far too strong. After a moment of feeling his rough lips against yours, you lean into him. Parting your lips slightly to allow his tongue into your mouth. 

The diary is long forgotten, clattering to the floor as Gyutaro pulls you closer. Grabbing your hips and picking you up. He sits you on the edge of the desk, holding onto your thighs as he stands between them. 

“Ngh Y/N,” he grumbles between kisses, “I fucking hate you.”

You can’t manage any words, too flustered and embarrassed by the situation you're in. All you can do is wrap your arms around his neck as he bites your lip, his crooked canines poking your soft flesh.

He sucks and nips on your bottom lip, savoring the hint of strawberry flavor left from your lipgloss. Moving his hands up your thighs and under your skirt, sliding his middle and index finger under your panties. 

A deep chuckle rumbles in his chest, “You’re already so wet, you must still have a pretty big crush on me, huh?”

“Sh-shut up,” you whine, trying to keep your composure as he slides his fingers into you. 

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he groans, thinking about how tight you’ll be around his cock if you’re this tight around his fingers. “You a virgin or something?”

You blush and look away, “It’s none of your business.” You clench your teeth, trying to hold back your moans. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s making you feel good.

“Heh, can’t say I’m surprised. I can’t imagine any guy would wanna put his dick in you.”

“God, you can’t stop being an asshole for one minute?” His fingers pick up the pace, eliciting a moan from you, “Ah-ah… j-just shut up and fuck me already, Gyutaro!”

He smirks and slides his fingers out of you so he can undo his pants and pull out his cock. The swollen red tip already leaking precum, as his veiny shaft throbs with desire for you. 

Spreading your legs so he can get a good look at your wet cunt, he strokes his length. “Fuck,” he mumbles.

He grabs your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk before lining up his cock to your entrance, collecting your slick so he can slide in easily. Which he promptly does. It stings as he stretches you apart, pushing deeper until his pelvis is pressed flush against yours. 

The sensation of his cock parting your velvety walls is too much to stop the moans from escaping your lips. You feel so full it hurts.

Gyutaro doesn’t wait for you to adjust to him, and starts thrusting into you at a sporadic pace. “F-Finally found something you’re useful for,” he groans. 

“Y-yeah well-ah… this seems to be the only thing you’re good at,” you say between moans, “You c-can’t do anything right. Grades, sports, hell you can’t even manage to come to class on time.”

He frowns and picks up the pace to shut you up. Roughly slamming his hips into you, his spotted cock dragging along your gummy walls. The obscene squelching of your wet pussy and the sound of skin slapping fills the room. 

The hatred he feels towards you fueling him to fuck you harder, taking out all of his frustrations on your abused pussy.

“Of course you’d say that,” he snarls, “Little miss perfect. With your good grades and perfect attendance.” He ends his sentence with a particularly hard thrust, hitting your cervix and causing a jolt of pain in your abdomen. 

You yelp and hold onto him, “S-slow down Gyu-” Before you can finish your sentence he wraps his fingers around your throat, picking up the pace. Fucking you so hard that the desk creaks and your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“Ngh- But you ain’t so perfect now. Lettin’ me ruin this pussy,” he grunts, “Gonna be my personal cum dump from now on.”

“Ahhh G-Gyu,” you let out a choked moan. The knot in your stomach coiling and burning with the need for release, and the next few hits to your cervix gets you there. Legs shaking and back arching, you cum all over him. Nails digging into his hips as you grab onto him to hold his cock still inside of you. 

Your narrow walls squeezing him impossibly tight, convulsing around him and pulling him to his peak. His grip around your throat tightens as he gnashes his teeth and spills inside of you. Filling you with hot sticky ropes of his seed. 

He pants and loosens his grip on your neck, holding your hips still and taking a moment to catch his breath. With a hiss, he pulls out of you. A slimy string of white connects his swollen cock to your cunt as he pulls away from you. He watches it with fascination until it finally breaks and drips onto the floor below. 

You’re a panting and sticky mess, staring up at the ceiling. Your face flush with embarrassment as you’re full of shame for what just happened. You feel sticky and disgusting. A mixture of yours and Gyutaro’s sweat sticks to your skin. His cum slowly seeping out of you and onto the desk. 

When you sit up to look at Gyutaro you see he already has his pants on and his backpack slung over his shoulder. 

He looks at your disheveled form with a hint of uncertainty, blushing with sweat on his temple. “This doesn’t mean we’re friends or anything, got it? I still hate you.”

You nod and stand up with wobbly legs, smoothing out your skirt and wiping the drool from your chin, “Y-yeah… I still hate you too.”

“Good,” he rasps and walks towards the door, saying one last thing before he leaves, “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Gyutaro…”

[nmakii]

ALL BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY?

— watching your life falling into catastrophe before your eyes. all because of a boy, because of oikawa tooru.

— fem!reader, oikawa lowk just plot device, vent draft 🤨, its me im reader, nonfiction 🤣, reader highk whipped

a/n: dawg… just had liek the WORST day at school tfff my whole lunch table dropped me can’t believe i wasted ingredients on a bitch that cant even return my chinese textbook 😒

oikawa tooru has a lot of fans. even that might be an understatement. but, it’s true nonetheless. even you’ve fallen for that cheeky loser’s spell.

in your defense, there are many things to love about him; how funny he is, how much he cares, how devoted he is, not to even mention his looks.

so, yes, you may have fallen for him. a lot of girls have.

“but it’s different this time. we have the chemistry. if he wasn’t so busy with training, if i’d be able to run into him again and hang out with him, then i’m sure he’d feel the same way.” you tell your friends over lunch. one of them scoffs. “suuuure, keep telling yourself that. i watched that latest game he played in, there were at least 10 other girls who were thinking the same thing.”

“you don’t get it, you just don’t get it! we have so many mutual friends, it’s almost as if we were meant to meet, y’know?” you explain, sounding almost desperate as your heart stirs thinking about him.

and, among the many exploits you did to impress him, you started doing volleyball. “s/o-chann! what are you doing here?” oikawa walks over to you, new kneepads in hand. “oh— hey! just buying some things.” you explain to him, handing the cashier some money as they wrap up your new volleyball. “what about you?”

“ahh, just getting some new gear since mine is getting pretty old… i never knew you did volleyball!” he notices things quickly. “well, yeah… i just have a lot on my plate, so i don’t do it as often anymore.” you tell him. “really noww? well, we should play together, okay?” he offers, a competitive edge in his voice.

oh my god. this is your chance to hang out with him. sure, this was what you were hoping for, but not right now… what if you fail to serve so miserably that he ends up laughing at you? but, again, it’s hanging out with him!

“sure! i’m down to play!” you quickly recover from your anxious thoughts. “erm— while we’re both here, you wanna hang out for a while?” you ask, words falling out of your lips without your own accord. “aww, no can dooo… i’m here with iwa-chan, and he’s gonna get mad at me if i bring a girl back with meee…” he pouts. “next time though! i won’t go easy on you!” he laughs before waving you goodbye.

next time.

that meant he wanted to see you. right?

“ughhh, enough about oikawaaaaa… he’s not even that cute, you’re far too good for him.” your friend frowns. you do talk about him too much, but what’s there not to love? all that could spill from your mouth were words of love for him. she was probably sick of it, your whole class was probably sick of it. so many people knew of your crush on him, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he knew and decided to just ignore it.

you couldn’t help it, you just loved him so much.

but, nothing ever came out of it.

he continued with his life, and you moved on with your’s.

soon enough, all the love in your heart for him was drained from his lack of reciprocation. you couldn’t blame him, he has so many fans, it wouldn’t be fair to pay attention to just one.

but still, even if he never got to be your boyfriend, you still got a best friend.

“agh!! s/o-chan, don’t, i look ugly right nowww!” oikawa whines as he runs away from your phone camera, nimbly maneuvering himself through the convenience store’s thin aisles. “come back ‘kawa!” you catch up to him, pulling on his arm so he couldn’t run away and snapping a blurry photo of his face.

“noo, s/o-chan, don’t post it!!” oikawa shakes his head in distress, trying to grab your phone. “too late!” you laugh, hitting post on your new story, oikawa tagged. oikawa falls on top of your body, trying to grab your phone. “delete!” he demands, trying to reach for the phone you held up in the air while keeping you stuck on the ground.

you laugh at his feeble attempts, politely waving hello to one of your classmates walking into the store. “get up!! you’re so embarrassing, ‘kawa!” you try to push him off.

it was a good day, a really good day.

even without that romantic chemistry, there was definitely something between you two. and, everyone could feel it; the way conversation just flowed so naturally between you two when you were simply being yourselves, it was like breathing after drowning for so long.

it was like laughing for the first time. you’ve never gasped for air so much as you did when you were with him.

just friends now, nothing more. and, that’s okay.

the next day, you’d walked into school, still happy from the fun you had after school yesterday. when you overheard someone’s conversation.

‘you know, s/o from class 3-3 is lowkey… so loud. all she talks about is boys. it’s like she thinks she’s someone special.’ you hear someone snicker.

‘her hair is so bad… it’s like… why would she go out looking like that?’ you hear from the long haired brunette in front of you, turning her head to look at you not so subtly.

‘she thinks she’s so funny… she needs to learn when to shut up…’

where did all this come from?

you frown as you try to get along with your day. it’s still alright though, even if most of the school population is against you, you still have your friends.

“s/o, we took a vote and most of us don’t want to eat lunch with you anymore.” your friend tells you, if you can still even call her your friend. the shock can barely even register before you nod. “oh. alright then.” you take your things to eat on one of the benches at school.

“ah! s/o-chan, what are you doing hereee?” oikawa sees you, staring daggers into the gardens. “huh? oh, i…it’s nothing…” you mumble. “don’t you have your own lunch table? why’re you here all aloneeee?” he asks.

and that’s when it finally sank in.

“i just wanted a change of scenery today, i’m okay.” you assure him, using all your willpower to hide the tears that threaten to fall out. oikawa frowns, feeling as if there’s something else, but decides not to pursue it. “hmm, okayyyy… well, if that’s all, i guess there’s no problem. i’m gonna go eat now then!” oikawa waves goodbye, on his way to iwaizumi’s table.

and when he’s finally gone, is when you finally let all the tears fall. this is such a stupid thing to cry about… being kicked out of a lunch table? there are so many other problems you could cry about…

you go to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, eyes all puffy from crying. when you get back to your classroom, you see two of your friends, or… ex-friends. it’s just for a split second, but they run out the other side of the classroom, trying to avoid you.

what was all this even for? because of being friends with a boy you liked? you never even dated, so what harm was done?

you’re so many things; smart, athletic, quite awfully pretty as well. you have your own interests, hobbies, and likes. why do you have to be reduced to liking oikawa? sure, you did talk about him an awful lot, but never recently.

“why did everything go wrong?

all because i liked a boy?”

[the-broken-pen]

Hello! i love your cat villian one so much maybe do more??????

but ignore if not (AMAZING BLOG EVER)

The protagonist was dying. They were sure of it, they could feel it, this all consuming terror and in the way they couldn’t draw a full breath into their lungs, like it was funneled through a straw and it was killing them–

Their vision went blurry and they crumpled against the wall, curling into a half-hearted ball over their knees against the baseboard. There was blood splattered over their hands. They just–if they could just–a tiny bit of air–

A hand, warm and gentle, appeared at the nap of their neck, tipping their head up to look at their face.

The protagonist blinked, and the villain was there, and they were watching them die, and oh god they were going to get fired–

“Breathe,” the villain said, and it sounded like they were under water. A million miles away. Point Nemo. Their sister had told them about that once, in the middle of the night as they sat on the roof.

It must be so lonely, she had said, head tipped to the stars. To be so far from everyone else.

The protagonist had wanted to say, I don’t need to be far from everyone else to feel lonely. I’m Point Nemo, can’t you see? But they hadn’t, had just hummed something in agreement, and the villain was telling them to “breathe,” again.

I’m trying, the protagonist wanted to sob. I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying.

“Protagonist,” the villain cupped their face in their hands, and through the blurring of the protagonist’s vision, they looked absolutely terrified.

Which didn’t make sense, because the villain always knew exactly what to do in every situation. It was comforting to be in the shadow of someone who knew exactly how they fit into the world.

The villain said something, and the protagonist blinked.

“What?” they managed. The villain snapped their head to look up at them.

“I said, I’m calling your mom.”

Abruptly, terror was flooding their veins again, and they slammed the phone out of the villain’s hand and onto the concrete.

The villain just watched them, concern stark on their face.

“Protagonist–”

“You can’t call her,” they gasped out, chest tight. “She’ll worry and–I can’t do that to her, not after my sister, she can’t do that again.”

Point Nemo. One million miles away.

Really, though, just six feet down.

It felt the same.

“Okay,” the villain said, low and soothing, like they were a scared child. They were. “Okay, I won’t call her, but I need you to breathe,” they emphasized.

“I’m trying,” the protagonist bit out, sucking in air that didn’t seem to be doing anything. How could it not be doing anything? This was one of the worst things that could be happening to them, let alone in front of their boss. They were supposed to be stronger than this, they were stronger than this, so why were they shaking against the baseboard in the hallway of their base. Idly, they looked down at the blood coating their arms, and couldn’t remember whose it was.

“I don’t know how to help you,” the villain admitted, voice breaking.

The protagonist couldn’t get their hands to stop shaking.

If they could just draw a breath–

Blood is harder to get off than you would expect. It clings and clings and clings–

The villain followed their gaze down, and a moment later, they had a wet wipe in their hand, wiping down the protagonist’s hands with an efficiency they could never hope to imitate.

They flinched away from the cold of it a second too late, and the villain frowned.

“You’re okay,” the villain promised, and the protagonist wanted to believe them.

They still choked on the next breath they tried to take, and it hurt and was miserable and the protagonist just wanted it to stop.

The villain said something that sounded like their name again, and they wanted to respond but felt the words get caught in their ribs, and the villain vanished and–

They were holding a cat.

Their shoulders untensed immediately, hands curling softly into the fur, as softly as they could manage while shaking, and they bit their lip to keep from crying at how useless they felt. How could they not figure out how to use their own hands? They bit back a sob, because nothing was working and they couldn’t bear to hurt a cat.

The cat curled itself further against the protagonist’s chest, tucked into their arms in the hollow between their knees and their abdomen.

The villain was–oh.

Oh, the protagonist was so stupid.

The villain was kind, kinder than they deserved, probably, turning into a cat just to make the protagonist stop having a meltdown in their hallway.

The protagonist just needed to get their legs to stop being numb, and then they could stand up and go hide in the bathroom until their body remembered how to do its job, and stop bothering the villain with their stupid problems and panic.

And then, abruptly, the villain began to purr, rumbling into the protagonist's chest.

Some knot deep inside of them that they hadn’t realized existed uncoiled, and they sucked in a breath so deep they thought it would never end. They choked on it on the way out, but the villain simply kept purring, so they tried again, and again, until their vision unblurred and the ache in their lungs had vanished.

“Okay,” the protagonist murmured to themself. Sometimes, they could trick themself by talking in the tone they used on frightened children when out on patrol. “You’re okay, I’m okay, everything is fine.”

They moved to set the villain down, but the villain dug their claws into the protagonist’s arm, nudging their face into their bicep.

Are you really okay? They seemed to ask, and the protagonist didn’t have an answer to that. They could breathe, and feel their toes, and they could remember–oh.

They could remember.

Blood on their hands.

The villain started purring again, and the protagonist burst into tears, burying their face into the villain’s fur. The villain let them, nudging the side of the face every so often in a reminder to breathe.

They stayed like that, until the protagonist’s tears had dried, and their heart only panged a little bit when the villain jumped down out of their arms and onto the floor in front of them.

A blink, and the villain was in front of them again, eyes filled with concern as they grabbed onto the protagonist’s elbows.

“You’re okay,” the villain breathed, and then the protagonist was pulled into a hug so warm they never wanted to leave. “You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” the protagonist agreed, face tucked into the villain’s chest.

The villain simply hugged them tighter.

Point Nemo had never felt further away.

[2flowerz]

Enthralling

“Aaah, my favourite human has finally arrived!”

Miraculously she managed not to blush. Why does he always make me feel like this? “You’re such a bad liar!”

“I know.” His eyes pierced her. “That’s why I told the truth. Come, make yourself comfortable.” With a smirk he lightly patted the bed he was lying on.

Ah, she could imagine being bold enough to go sit beside him...but, being a shy coward she opted for the armchair.

“Ah, you wound my poor, old heart, dearest. It hits hard to be reminded that you’re but a miserable man in his declining years in the eyes of ravishing younglings.”

“Ravishing? Perhaps you meant to say ‘the plainest human devoid of sensuality?’” She almost panicked, what was she thinking? It almost sounded like she was trying to flirt! With him!

A chuckle as he studied her intensely for a moment, then, “An unforgivable mistake based on your first impression. You carry yourself with so little self confidence...it takes effort to discover your true essence. It's worthwhile, but it takes time.”

That left her speechless and this time her cheeks flushed.

“You remind me of her.”

Ouch. A pang of jealousy gripped her stomach. Was it jealousy? Envy?

“A human lover?” She managed to ask in an almost casual tone.

He nodded, his gaze on his hands. “The only one I actually fell in love with.” He took a long breath. “She refused to be turned though...”

“What?” She couldn’t believe that anyone would refuse to share eternity with him. “But why?”

“She didn’t want to lose her humanity no matter how much she loved me. I accepted and respected that.”

“But you’re not some heartless monster! You’re sensitive, altruistic -“

“I also live like a recluse, I only occasionally take other people's problems to heart...” His tone was soft, like he was trying to explain a painful truth.

“Well you've always been kind and very human to me. And Rui and Lyca -”

“Maybe I wasn’t always like this. Maybe I’ve just gotten softer with age.” A gentle and reassuring smile painted his lips.

“I refuse to believe that.“ was her stubborn response.

A low chuckle and his fingers on his lips formed an inquisitive look. “What would you do? What would your answer be, if someone offered to change you?”

“Yes, of course!” Every single drop of her blood conveyed to her face in an instant in realisation of what she just said. She felt like she couldn’t blush more. “I mean...if my l-lover proposed such a thing...why would I refuse to spend an eternity by his side?”

It was hard to read his expression. Head slightly tilted, a gentle smile and intense, unblinking gaze piercing her, his index stroking his lower lips. It almost looked like he was reading her mind.

“Have you ever hoped she would change her mind?” She asked unthinkingly.

“Till her last breath.” His delicate hand reached out to her. “Humour me, will you?”

She felt like invisible strings were pulling towards him. Almost involuntarily she stood up and moved to sit besides him.

“Aah, that’s better.” He sighed softly. “I find myself longing for company lately...a gentle and caring touch to bring warmth to these old aching bones…”

His fingers started tracing lines over her hair and face, ears and neck. Slow, sensual, deliberate movements were testing her self control. The coolness of his porcelain fingers should have been unsettling but instead she felt them leaving burning traces behind. She was completely captivated by his gaze and seductive voice. Was he hypnotising her? Bewitching her? She neither knew nor cared to find out... Her body and mind were his to play with and dispose of.

“Come on,” he whispered into her ear, “why is it hard to openly admit?”

She couldn’t speak.

“Perhaps what you want is just a sentence away…” His cool breath tickled her jaw and neck. “You just need to spell it out.”

She shut her eyes, her pounding heart threatening to jump out of her throat. “What should I...”

“Just tell me what you want, what you feel and nothing more. I won’t force myself on you.”

“I...like you.”

“Mm-mm, almost there...“

“I. I love you, Ed. I want you.” She couldn’t believe she actually blurted out those words.

“There. Was that so hard?” Her eyes opened to his smiling face. Despite the light tone of his voice there was no trace of mockery in his expression. She felt a burst of embarrassment and hoped the ground would swallow her then and there.

“I hate you!” A punch to his chest made him burst into laughter.

“Come now, doesn’t it feel good to have let it off of your chest?”

“You lured me in but you were just playing with me! I feel like an idiot and now-“

He silenced her with four words.

“I want you too.”

As always a huge thank you to my now official editor 😀 @danieyells

[youaremycosmo]

《all mine. all yours.》 taemin x reader scenario

Yeah, as always - i finished my latest idea, not what's waiting in the line XD so today husband&dad taemin is attacking again with his cuteness 💞 what a miserable dad, what would he do if he was a father of two? *runs away laughing * btw. this airport look is e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

Word count// 1,435 words

Pairing// Taemin x you

Summary// Taemin after a month's break is going back to work, clearly pissed off he needs to go abroad for one day. Saying goodbye to you and his daughter is just endless as he can't be apart from the family even for a second.

Genre// fluffiest fluff

Warnings// if you're allergic to cuteness, don't read MASTERLIST

- Aish, why does this performance have to be in Japan? - Taemin whined again, crouching down to put on his shoes. He was like this all yesterday, and then today, almost making a scene while packing his things and documents. 

You giggled under your nose for the hundredth time in the last hour and glanced at little Taerinnie in your arms. When she was born, Taem took a really long break from his work as a dancer to focus on helping you to take care of the baby. You both could afford it and you were extremely thankful to him, as being a mom, especially in the first days, was really stressful. Eventually, he needed to come back to work, but what caused his dissatisfaction from the very first week was this trip to Osaka. That meant he had to be away from home just for that one night, but it already seemed like the end of the world to Tae.

- Because Baekhyun is performing in Japan, duh - you mocked him a little, observing carefully what he has chosen to wear. - Everything will be fine, you need rest from us too - you assured your husband, trying somehow to calm him down. 

- How can I rest from my family? - he asked, even more outraged by your words. - I need to be by your side all the time, what if something happens and i won’t be around you? - Taem stood up, running a hand through his long, brown hair. Every hairstyle looked good on him, but there was something special in these messy strands which curled up in the ends. 

- I’m sure there won’t be this kind of situation - you said with certainty. - It’s just one night. We’ll be fine, for sure - you switched your attention towards Taerin again. She calmly wandered with her curious eyes over everything possible, while moving her little hands. This little cutie patootie looked surprised by everyone and everything, furrowing her eyebrows slightly. Taerinnie was already a month old, but she still seemed so small and vulnerable, making you feel touched every time you held her. - Don't look at other men, okay? - he admonished you seriously, taking a few steps towards you. 

You groaned softly, frowning. - Ah, how can I look at other men while wearing tracksuits and sitting at home? - you asked indignantly, and Taemin chuckled, clearly amused by that. - Have you seen yourself? - you reached your hand to his brown, oversized jacket, sighing desperately. Saying he got more handsome every year was surely an understatement. He just looked extremely good today, too good for your poor being and hormones which were slowly starting to regulate, allowing you to notice a little more than just Taerinnie. - I should be the one telling you not to look at anyone else, although... it makes no sense, someone will pick on you anyway, because you look so handsome - you muttered resignedly, letting these naughty thoughts out. 

Your compliment clearly pleased Taemin, who stared at you lovingly. - My darling, somehow... I have to adjust to my beautiful wife. Look how much i had to do, only to match this pretty baby - he said with full conviction, and you snorted quietly. He said it on purpose, but you couldn't help feeling your heart beating faster while hearing those words.

- You should leave now, or you’ll be late -  you reminded Tae, but your hand was still on his chest, not wanting to let go of him. This charming bare face, messy hair, simple but perfectly fitted outfit were affecting you so much today. Taemin leaned down towards Taerin gently, causing her eyes to move to his face. His hand began to gently stroke her little head while the finger of his other hand slipped into her fist. - Be good for mommy, yeah? Don't cry too much at night, because mommy needs to sleep… Aigo, aigo… - he pouted a little, when Taerin’s pacifier slid out from her dad-alike lips. It was corrected as quickly by him - Dad will come soon, I promise. And he will buy you something nice - he assured in a lovely voice, finally pressing his full lips on her forehead. For a few more seconds Tae stared at her with a tender smile, as if he wanted to remember this sight with all his might. After a moment did he look at you, wrapping his arms around your waist, careful not to crush Taerinnie in your arms, but to hug you both.

- Any special requests, my princess? - he asked just as tenderly, caressing your side. Taemin always made sure you feel loved, especially when his attention was now divided to two girls in the home. You allowed yourself to think about it for a while, but finally shook your head. There was simply nothing in your mind to ask for. 

- Nothing? Then I'll think of something myself - he chuckled, leaning slightly to your ear. - Will some cute thongs for this equally cute baby be okay? - he asked in a playful voice, his warm breath enfolding your ear.

- Tae - you punched his arm lightly, embarrassed by this proposition. You could be sure now Taem will come back with some piece of pink lingerie, already prepared for the time you two could have sex again. 

- I'm going to miss my girls really badly - he said more quietly and seriously, kissing your forehead. - I'm going to miss my beautiful wife and my adorable daughter so, so much - you felt his thumb lightly stroke your side.

- We'll miss you too - you admitted with a smile, your faces only centimeters apart. Taemin moved even closer, connecting your lips in a delicate kiss. At first it was just an innocent brush of lips, but you held his neck with your hand, deepening the kiss and allowing yourself this moment of complete oblivion, closing your eyes. Your heart skipped a beat as Taem willingly allowed you to do this, giving himself completely to you. You pulled away from each other with slightly deepened breaths, your cheeks slightly flushed as a wave of shyness suddenly flooded your mind.

Your hand carefully slid down, releasing him. It should be nothing special, after all, you've been kissing like this for many years. However, your daughter's presence made love, true, sincere love, completely outweigh any lust. 

- Sorry, we shouldn't... - you glanced at Taerinnie, blushing. You were suddenly embarrassed that you had allowed yourself to feel what you felt for Tae in this short moment, waking up woman in mommy state. 

- We should - he replied almost immediately, reaching for your chin and making you look into his dark eyes. - I'm not talking about having sex in front of her, but... why should we be ashamed of the fact that we love each other? If we weren't a great couple, she wouldn't be here at all - he gave you his most charming smile and pecked your lips once again. - I'll see you tomorrow -  Taem said in a low voice, kissing the top of your head and sighing softly. His hand reached quickly for the handle of his suitcase.

It wasn’t that your husband was in a hurry to finally feel freedom. Instead, you could notice how he tried not to look at you both anymore in case he couldn’t leave for work at all. Taemin was so cuddly and absorbed in being a man in the house that parting with you was almost unable to bear.

You hesitated a little as he pressed the doorknob. Something… was missing there. You haven’t said what should be said. 

-Taem? - you asked, approaching him once again.

Tae only had time to glance at you and smile before you reached for the nape of his neck once more and connected your lips briefly, but definitely not innocently. 

- All mine - you said quietly, running your hand down his torso and pulling away to let him finally leave.

- All yours - he replied with a sparkle in his eye and a wide smile, before he closed the door.

You sighed loudly, biting your lip. Being alone for the first time with this little sunshine was actually quite stressful, but you wouldn’t admit that to Taemin on no account.

- So, are we left alone for a girls' night? - you said to Taerinnie as you went to lay her in her crib again. 

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

Pumpkin Carving

Tickletober 2024 - Day 2: Accident

Link to Art: Xiaoven Impact Dandelions - Xiao x Venti (xiaoven)

Summary: Venti and Xiao carve pumpkins for decorations and then tickles ensue. How? Read on to find out :)

A/N: Day 2 fic on Day 4 💀. Hope Tickletober is going well for you all! Not much else to say but hope you enjoy this fic!

Word Count: 1,007

Also on AO3!

—

“It was an accident, I swear!”

Xiao stood there; his expression deadpan as pumpkin gunk dripped from his face while Venti was trying and failing miserably at not laughing at Xiao.

“I thought no one was there when I threw the pumpkin gunk away. I didn’t see you there, honest!”

“You know you dragged me here to carve pumpkins with you.”

“Oh, I did? Ehe~”

Venti did his signature chuckle, scratching the back of his head. Xiao wiped the rest of the gunk off and closed the distance between them, his eyes narrowing.

“Xiao, wait! I didn't mean to!” Venti squeaked, bracing his hands against his chiseled form.

“Hmm.”

Venti’s heart dropped, knowing his fate was sealed. Xiao only hummed in thought when he was ready to punish him. And throwing pumpkin gunk, accidentally if Venti may add, at him was the tipping point.

“XiaoXiao, c'mon it was an accident! Believe me! I didn't- Eep!”

Xiao trapped his hands in a vice grip, a devious smirk playing on his lips making Venti shiver.

“Ven, pet names aren't going to get you anywhere,” he whispered in his ear.

“Xiao,” Venti whined. “Don't do that. You know how it makes me feel.”

“Oh, I know,” Xiao deepened his voice and his whispers vibrated against Venti's ear making him squirm. “You deserve it for throwing pumpkin stuffing at me and even laughing.”

“I said I didn't mean it though! It was an accident!” Tingling sensations traveled down his neck making him involuntarily smile.

“Like I believe that.”

“Well, you should because I'm your bohohoy- nohohoho! Xiaohoho!”

Xiao started digging into his ribs, growling playfully.

“Boyfriend perks won’t save you either.”

“Plehehehase! Xiahahahao!”

Xiao wasn’t hearing any of it and squeezed the spot between his side and hips making him squeal.

“XIAHAHAHAO! Ihihi dihihidn’t dohOHO ihihit ohohon purpohose! It wahahas an acciDEHEHENT! EHEHAHAHAHA! Forgihihive mehehEHEHE! PLE- AHAHAHA!”

He giggled and yelped when Xiao alternated between pinching the two spots. He swayed his body as far away from Xiao as he could but those evil, wiggling fingers always found their way back to him.

“And why should I believe you this time, hmm? You have a long record of pranking and doing all sorts of shenanigans to all of us, especially me.”

A pout passed Xiao’s face before morphing into a smirk when he heard Venti let out a desperate shriek when he slipped his hand under his clothing.

“You’re juhuHUST EHEHEASY tohohoho MEHEHESS WIHIHITH!”

“And you dare say that while I have you like this, Ven?”

Xiao clawed at his ribs making Venti cackle, trying to curl inward to protect himself.

“GAHAHAHA! XIAHAHAO! NAHAHAHAT THAHAHAT!”

“Hmph, why not? You’re easy to tickle and make laugh,” Xiao remarked, not letting up and moving to his hips, massaging them.

“NOHOHOHOT THEHEHERE EIHIHITHER! I’M SOHOHOHORRY!”

“Too late for apologies, Ven. You sealed your fate with those words.”

He carried him over to the table they were working at, moving the tools and stuff before placing him on top of it and climbing on top of him. He wiggled his fingers at him, looking down with an evil grin. Venti gasped, a nervous smile making its way onto his face.

“Please, Xiao! Pleasepleaseplehehease! You knohow I can’t handle ihit!”

Giggles slipped through as he begged, holding Xiao’s hands in his grasp.

“Oh, is my boyfriend begging already~?” Xiao teased.

He effortlessly freed his hands from Venti’s grasp, letting his hands slide under Venti’s clothes once again making him giggle and whine.

“Xiahahao!” he cried out, grabbing a hold of his arm.

“Oh, that was an accident. My hands slipped,” Xiao snickered, vibrating his fingers across Venti’s belly and against his ribs.

“Thahat’s nohohot an accIHIHIDEHEHENT!”

Xiao rolled his eyes and began squeezing his sides and kneading his hips. Venti’s reaction was priceless.

“BWAHAHAHA! OKAHAHAY! IHIHIHI GIHIHIVE! PLEHEHEASE XIAHAHAO!”

“Tell me what you did and maybe I will let up.”

“IHIHI THEHEHEREW THEHE PUHUMPKIN STUFF AHAHAT YOUHUHU OHOHON PURPOSE!”

He shrieked, throwing his head back when Xiao dug at the spot between his hips and sides.

“And why?”

“IHIHI JUST WAHAHANTED TOHOHO- AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAVE FUHUHUN!”

“Hmm.”

“XIAHAHAO! PLEHEHEASE! I’M SOHOHOHORRIEHEHE! LEHEHET MEHEHE GOHOHO PLEHEHEASE! MY LOHOHOHVE! I’M BEHEHEGGING YOUHUHU! NAHAHAHAHA!”

Xiao softly smiled, slowing the tickles to a stop and kissing Venti on the nose.

“That wasn’t so hard was it~?”

Venti pouted.

“You owe me one on the lips XiaoXiao.”

He pulled Xiao in for a kiss on the lips where he wanted.

“That’s better,” he sighed after they pulled away.

“You rest. I’ll finish the pumpkin carvings then we can head back to the house.”

“Mhmm.”

Venti hummed in acknowledgment, feeling Xiao get off him. He closed his eyes as he listened to the sounds of Xiao working and eventually fell asleep.

Xiao looked over to a now snoring Venti and couldn’t help but admire him as his chest rose and fell and a small smile was on his face.

He finished his work a couple minutes later, teleporting the pumpkins into the house and teleporting back to pick up Venti. He picked him up bridal style, opting to walk back instead so he could continue to admire his love and give him kisses.

“I know it was an accident, Ven. I just wanted to see you laugh is all. I hope you can forgive me for being selfish,” Xiao whispered, starting the walk towards the house.

Venti curled into Xiao, woken up by being carried but ready to fall back asleep at any moment.

“You don’t need to ask forgiveness for that, XiaoXiao. (Yawn) I will give you anything you want and say something if I’m uncomfortable. It’s okay for you to be selfish with me. And I’ll always forgive you, no matter what.”

Before Xiao could respond, Venti was fast asleep again and Xiao fondly smiled at him.

“Oh Venti, what did I do to deserve you?” he massaged the back of his head and sighed.

“Thank you, Ven,” he kissed his lips and continued walking back, a warmth in his heart.

—

Thank you for reading! :)

-Perz

~Risus Amoris~

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In 7

Warnings: non/dubcon, medical procedures including dialysis and chronic illness, dry humping, violence, threats, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Pete Brenner, short!reader

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You don’t move. Not until he leaves the room. You hear Pete messing around in the bathroom as you touch your searing skin. The burns pulse with your heart beat as you move slowly, your shirt still damp and clinging.

Whatever he says, you won’t miss your appointment. You don’t know what to do about him but you have hours in a chair to think about that. You get up and slouch down the hall to the bedroom. 

You pull out clothes and put them on the bed, moving as cautiously and quietly as you can. You take your shirt off, then your shorts. You pull on your underwear as hinges creak quietly. You shiver and look over as you hide your chest behind crossed arms. 

Pete grips the door frame, his torso shamelessly naked, the towel barely staying on his waist. Your eyes lock and his gaze slowly falls to the bed. You grab your bra and turn your back to him.

“You don’t gotta get all dressed up for me,” he enters as your spine goes rigid. You ignore him and reach for your shirt. It snags and you’re forced to face him as he holds the other sleeve. “You’re not going anywhere, if that’s what you think.”

You gulp, “you don’t understand, I have to. I can’t miss an appointment.”

“Sure you can. You’re going to feel like shit but you earned that,” he tilts his head, “so you should lay down before you start to fell it.”

“You can’t–”

“I can do whatever I want, sweetheart. No one cares. That’s why I do. Because it’s so easy,” he chuckles and strokes your chin. You wince away from him and he grabs your jaw, his other hand coming up behind your skull. “You keep fucking around and it’s going to get real serious. Do I really need to tell you that?”

You bring your hands up to squeeze his forearm, “why are you doing this?”

“Why? You should be thanking me, sweetheart. Doesn’t look like anyone else wants to,” he scoffs, “now, don’t be sneaking around. You’ll only feel worse.”

You understand his threat. It’s not anything he’ll do, it’s what your body will do. The longer you hold out, the longer he keeps you there, the worse it will be. If you’re stubborn, it could be life or death. Not that every day doesn’t bring that balance to mind.

“Pete,” you say softly, caressing his arm, “why don’t you come with me, then? Can’t I still go?”

He sighs and shakes his head. His cheek dimples and he clucks, “you blew it, sweetheart. I don’t want it to be this way but this is what you did. You have to learn.”

You pout and bat your lashes. He gives a frown of his own and loosens his grip on your petting your hair as he pulls you closer. He hugs you, rocking you against him.

“It’s alright, I’m here,” he coaxes you as he sways, “I’m going to make sure you’re okay. You don’t gotta do this alone anymore.”

You let him hold you. You’re frozen, just like the night before. This is bad, very bad, but he’s right about one thing. It’s going to get worse, much worse.

🥀

The day is gone in a miserable blue of dread and discomfort. Your head pounds as you lay on the couch hugging a pillow. It’s late, your appointment would have ended an hour ago. Your muscles cramp and your vision swims. Your stomach is a storm tearing you apart from the inside.

You groan and tremble in agony. Pete runs his leg up your thigh, your legs bent over him as he sits on the other end of the couch. The television blares as a basketball game plays. You hate this feeling. You feel like you’re dying. You are.

He lets his hand wander back towards your knees as you stifle a whimper. You shiver as his fingertips walk up your leg again, this time, he traces the curve of your ass, humming as he tickles below the cheek. You flinch and he pinches you.

“You’re not all broken,” he purrs as he plays with the hem of you pajama shorts, “sweetheart, I know how to make you feel better, just relax.”

“N-no,” you sputter and try to wiggle away, “I don’t want–”

He smacks your ass with his knuckles and your head thrums. You groan and shudder as another wave of pain swells through you. He gropes your ass and growls.

“Shhhhh, just close your eyes.”

You can’t help but obey. You don’t have anything left. You’re terrified, exhausted, and alone. He shoves his hand up the loose leg of your shorts and tugs at your cotton panties. He forces his hand between your clenched thighs and forces them apart, just enough to flick his finger along your folds. You gasp as he finds your clit, rolling the bundle of nerves under his fingertip.

You whine as he presses, firmly toying with you, using your body as you lay trembling. You squeeze your eyes shut and gnash your teeth. Please, stop, stop, stop. He keeps going despite your protests, a chant in your head. Just stop, just stop.

It’s only as he lets his finger glide into the slickness of your cunt that you realise you’re talking as much to yourself as to him. Your body betrays you as it responds to his touch. You want it stop, all of it; him, you, everything.

[osakaprince]

synopsis: an attempt to reconnect with someone you did wrong won’t always go how you want it to

pairing: ex!mark x reader

genre: angst, hurt/no comfort

warning: reader is wine drunk, strong language, argumentation, possible toxicity

word count: 1.3k

“please don’t make it harder than it already is. i’m trying to get over this.”

mark should have been asleep already. he should have just ignored the knock on his door and then he wouldn’t be in this situation. the hardwood floor was cold against his feet and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the warmth of his own bed but you were there.

you stood at his front door, clearly intoxicated after going out with friends, and waited — hoped — for him to answer. so the two of you found yourselves awkwardly lingering in the kitchen. mark kept his distance from you, knowing this would be a huge setback in his healing. he didn’t want to see you but something told him to let you inside and he accepted.

“i’m sorry for coming over at this hour.” you apologized, looking at anything other than him. “i just.. i didn’t want-”

mark leaned against the refrigerator, “-you knew what you were doing, y/n.”

for the first time since the front door, you drew your eyes to meet his. he looked miserable. not a ‘i haven’t been eating or sleeping since you broke my heart’ miserable, but a ‘you’ve single-handedly ruined all progress i’ve made in four months’ miserable. the guilt began to eat you up inside.

“you knew that coming here would hurt me more than it would ever hurt you.”

your mouth hung open as you searched for the right words but nothing came of it. mark nodded as he confirmed his assumption. he wanted to be more angry than he actually was; wanted to scream and throw things around until he got his point across, but he wasn’t like that. he never had been.

“mark.”

a pitiful smile appeared on his face, “please don’t do this to me.”

you stepped forward, a hand reaching to grasp his arm, but he pulled away. the tears were starting to form in both your eyes yet mark was clearly more hurt. you knew what you did to him was beyond repairable and he was sure to let that sink in.

the high tension and emotions seemed to have broke you. sinking to the floor, with your head in your hands, you let out a sob. the wine you had previously overindulged in started to take over. all of the thoughts you had collected on the way to mark’s apartment suddenly disappeared and it frustrated you.

“why are you being like this? i’m trying to make things right.” you wailed.

mark just watched you, moving from the fridge to the edge of the counter with his arms crossed. he wouldn’t lie, it did still pain him to see you in such a state. part of him wanted so badly to hold you while you cried but he needed to protect himself. he refused to allow you to hurt him all over again.

“y/n, stop.” he whispered, hardly audible compared to your cries.

you pulled your knees to your chest, arms wrapped around them, as you looked up at the boy, “i really am sorry, mark. i know it’s too late for that to matter but..”

the tears appeared again, halting your explanations.

“had i heard that four months ago, it might have helped. hell, knowing how much i loved you, i probably would’ve just taken you back. but then you come here, drunk, after completely ghosting me and leaving me to suffer, and expect me to give in? i can’t..” he shakes his head. “and i won’t.”

the silence was heavy in the room. you could only stare at him, unable to get a single word out at his confession. he was right. you disappeared without too much of an explanation, ignoring his pleading texts for the first month and a half. they stopped after that.

he was trying to move on.

and maybe that’s why your utter selfishness lead you to his place a little past midnight. as terrible as it sounded, it hurt to know that he was becoming happy again without you. even after what you put him through. you were beyond selfish.

“i feel awful about what i did,” you wiped your cheeks. “but i felt it was the only way. you need to understand that i was struggling too. it wasn’t just-”

he looked at you in pure disbelief, “-you’re doing it again.”

“what?”

“playing the victim.”

mark took a step back and rubbed both hands across his face, trying to comprehend what the hell was going on. too much was happening at once and he felt as though his entire world was closing in on him for the second time. the anger built back up.

at last, you rose to your feet and sighed, “you know that’s not what i was trying to do.”

“just like i was supposed to know exactly what you were thinking when you vanished?” he raised his eyebrows. “then you show up after i’ve healed myself? after i spent countless nights crying myself to sleep on the floor? after i gave up everything i love because i physically couldn’t stand the thought of living another day?”

he let out a harsh chuckle, “you are the most despicable person i have ever met,” and looked you dead in the eyes. “and i mean that.”

your heart shattered with every word he spat out. he truly despised you. hatred seethed from every inch of his body and it was very evident. you did this to him. you turned him into somebody he never wanted to become when angry.

mark began pacing the floor, hands tugging at his hair, “get out.”

you didn’t move.

“get the fuck out!” he yelled, louder than he’d ever yelled before. “go! leave!”

now he was the one to fall to the ground, head between his knees to calm himself down. his breathes came out as gasps for air. you absolutely should have just left like he said, but something within you guided you to his side in mere seconds. the only touch he felt was your shoulder against his.

his sobs were muffled, “why? why would you hurt the one person who loved you more than anyone else?”

you didn’t give an answer. just silence.

“i gave all i had and you made me feel like it wasn’t enough. like i wasn’t enough.”

he needed to get it all out so you let him.

“part of me feels like i’ll never be able to trust someone again. i’m terrified of going through the same thing you did to me, with another person. i shouldn’t have to feel that way. i did nothing wrong.”

when he lifted his head to face you, he wished he hadn’t. you looked completely emotionless, like all those tears you cried previously were simply for show and now that he was the one upset, it no longer benefited you. his hands started to shake.

“you’re gonna piss me off again, y/n.” he whispered, defeated beyond measures.

you pursed your lips, “i want you to tell me what you’re thinking. every last thought you’ve had in the past four months. i’m not sitting here to interrupt and give my side anymore. so talk.”

mark shook his head and stood up, moving further away from where you sat. he paused for a short moment before disappearing down the hallway. you remained seated, unsure of whether or not you were supposed to follow. he returned a minute later, arms cradling a cardboard box. he set it on the counter.

“here’s your stuff.” his voice was ice cold. “i’m done talking.”

“come on, mark. we were making progress here.”

he laughed almost maniacally, “no, i was making progress. you clearly haven’t change a damn bit. i’m done going around in circles with you. here’s your shit. get out.”

you sighed and pondered on what else you could do to convince him. he seemed to be set in his ways and if there was one thing you knew about mark, it was that he stuck to his decision once it was made. so, with nothing left to say, you trekked towards the door.

mark was sure to grab the box you “forgot” and followed behind, “i don’t care what you do with it, but this isn’t staying here any longer.”

you turned around after stepping outside, “you really think you’re better than me, don’t you?”

“oh, i know i’m better than you. in every single way.” he leaned in closer, eyes narrowing in on you. “if i can go the rest of my life without seeing you ever again.. i’ll die happy.”

your jaw clenched, “you don’t mean that.”

“i don’t say shit that i don’t mean unlike you.”

with that, the door slammed shut and now you were the one left alone.

—

© osakaprince

[captcoups]

[⛵️] if only you knew (maybe you already do) w/ svt_pt.1

✤ pairing: hyung!line x reader / idol!svt / non.idol!you / friends-to-lovers(ish) / lowkey mutual pining  ✤ disclaimer: curse words (none with ill intention!) / inspired by this prompt list! ✤ mini-fics with each member for the same situation / less than 400 words per member / altogether: 2,028 words ✤ in which these are the little things you notice that he does (whether he wants you to or not...) [masterlist ⛵️] / other members are below the cut!

[🍒] seungcheol seungcheol is an absolute fool for trying to think that he would be able to mask the way his smile creeps onto his face the second you stepped into his arms. the warmth he feels rushing through his veins, straight to his cheeks when he feels you putting your arms around him to reciprocate the bear hug he engulfs you in, head pressed to the side of yours with a giddy grin. he has his fingers crossed, hoping that you don’t feel the way his heart is pounding in his chest; threatening to fly out. maybe you do notice it. maybe you don’t. maybe you’re just saving him from the embarrassment but regardless... he’s grateful (and not-so-grateful) when you pull back with a small smile on your face. maybe next time... he’ll be brave enough to admit his feelings for you in close proximity but today... today he’ll just–”you look good, y/n.” he’s wholeheartedly thankful that you’re not pressed chest-to-chest to him because his heart just flew out of his rib cage when you smile widely and point at–”right back at you, handsome.” seungcheol almost forgot to breathe.

[👼] jeonghan “hey,” jeonghan feels a nudge to his side with an elbow. he looks up from being seated on the sofa, nonchalantly scrolling on his phone and finds himself being attacked with the way your presence effortlessly tugs his lips upwards before he can control himself. it’s like he’s being lit up; suddenly feeling the surge of energy that makes him sit up a little as you flop onto the sofa next to him. hell, he won’t even question how he didn’t hear you come in. “hey,” he greets back, playfully bumping you with his shoulder in return. you sink into the sofa and partially lean against him, sneaking a peek at his instagram feed before you ask: “wanna hang out? there’s a new cafe down the block and–”you can barely finish your invitation when he–”sure!” the two of you are slightly surprised at his outburst of an answer but it doesn’t deter you too far from your excitement. you chuckle and lean away, so you can pat his shoulder with a smile, about to tell him to get ready to go but he–”i mean... yeah, it would be nice.” he tries to cover up, even if he failed miserably. with the way you’re beaming at him and egging him to let’s go, then! reassures him that maybe you don’t mind it at all. (you don’t, but that’s a conversation for another time)

[🐰] joshua the night had started out in good fun... when a bit of alcohol too much later grants you and joshua to be sprawled out by the living room with a few of the other guys scattered in the background. joshua doesn’t know how the topic of love came up but it did after another shot of soju is exchanged and the only thing keeping you two barricaded from each other is the coffee table. “you’ve... been a bit more affectionate lately, shua. maybe a bit too obvious, too.” your words mutter into the air, aiming straight for his chest as his cheeks continue to redden; not from the alcohol. “...what?” he tries to laugh it off, even though he knows it’s not looking too good on his side when you can tell he’s nervous past the alcohol swimming in your system. “really?” you raise a brow, sitting up a little as you hold yourself up with elbows on the table, squinting at him, “you drove two hours to get me when my car broke down.” joshua’s quiet for a moment before he tries to squeak out: “i’m a nice guy?” it does nothing to defend his case when you chuckle, folding your arms on the table as you shake your head, “two hours, shua.” he swallows, watching as you lean your head down to rest, eyes fluttering shut. “h-how long have you known?” the curiosity got the best of him and maybe he shouldn’t have asked but–he can see the way you’re smiling, giggling as you coo, “goodnight, shua.” joshua lowers his head with a smile etched to his face, goodnight, y/n.

[🐱] junhui jun finds himself being seated next to you or opposite you almost every single time the two of you are at the same outing. he wonders if it’s his natural gravitation to want to be close to you or of it’s some sort of fate tying you two together. there are times–moments–sparingly, fleeting in his conscious when you’re a bit too close that it makes him malfunction. jihoon and minghao already has a mental note of how jun seems a tiny bit more giggly whenever you’re around or how it brings him out of his shell to want to talk more to capture your attention. it’s hilarious to them, however, that they get front row seats of being seated opposite you and jun, who’s sharing a menu to see what you’d like to order. the slight motion of you looking to your side and jun looking up at the same time hitches the breath in jun’s throat as his eyes grow wide at the realisation to being in such close proximity to you. “oops, sorry,” your sheepish smile appears as you shift away. “no, no, don’t worry,” he chalks up quickly, already shifting back towards you and nudging the menu in your direction. with a chuckle, you nod and lean towards him, eyes scanning the page. (minghao slyly nudges the menu towards jun, only for the latter to motion it away so he can share one with you. jihoon shakes his head and laughs, accommodated by jun’s shy smile as he takes the opportunity to lean closer towards you.)

[🐯] soonyoung “w-what?” soonyoung’s voice is soft, a little shy but barely audible when the ruckus of their dressing room is always on heightened hype merely an hour before their stage performance. you chuckle and dip down a bit more, and soonyoung loves hates the way he’s able to see how your eyes are sparkling at him under the fluorescent lights. “i said you look incredible! love the hairstyle, too!” you watch as soonyoung digests your words. the mere appearance of hoshi has disappeared; the confident, self-proclaimed tiger has exited the building. leaving you with just kwon soonyoung (who you’ve come to adore just as much). “oh,” he nods in acknowledgement, “t-thanks. you too!” he doesn’t realise that you’re laughing when he’s focused on the way you’re smiling. it’s not until your laugh dies down that you motion to your own attire. it’s a simple hoodie with the strings chewed out and a pair of sweats. “i do? i thought i looked like a bum,” you have your hands on your hips, looking at down at your clothes that you miss the soft you still look pretty. when you look up to meet with his gaze once more, he’s awkwardly laughing to ease the tension and you take it as a cue to disturb the other guys. “i’ll see you later, okay? good luck out there!” he tries his best to reply, only managing a garbled up thanks! see you soon! he doesn’t realise since you left him to poke fun at chan’s hair that a pout has appeared on his face as he sinks deeper into the sofa. (”what did y/n say to you that made you all choked up?” seungkwan snort, joining soonyoung on the sofa. “they said i looked incredible, that they liked my hair...” seungkwan can’t even make fun of the guy when he starts to bend forward and bury his face in his hands, probably the embarrassment has hit him already with the way he reacted.)

[🍚] jihoon it was a camping trip with a couple of the boys and invited friends. it wasn’t a wonder that jihoon’s plus-one was you but what was a wonder was how you two had been seated by the lake, alone, for the past hour with no intentions of regrouping with the rest. the sun had just set and you found yourself being immersed in the conversation just as much as jihoon was. sharing a blanket, seated on a couple of flat stone surfaces. it wasn’t until the crack of a twig snatches your attention from jihoon that has him looking like a grumpy cat at–”picture time!” seokmin grins, holding his camera up, “augh, it took me so long to find you two. might as well go on a honeymoon, yeah?” from over your shoulder, seokmin catches jihoon’s expression and words of quit it! when you turn the cheek and meet his gaze, jihoon’s face softens and offers you a small smile, nodding when you ask him if he wants a picture. you scoot closer to him and jihoon lifts his arm up–does he put it around you? just a hand on your shoulder? can he lean his head against yours? how wide should he smile? too much and it might be obvious. too little and he looks like he might hate you and–abort, abort! jihoon tries not to malfunction when you casually lean into him, the side of your head pressed to his and a smile emerges. he doesn’t even process that you’re gone until a minute or two later, now seeing you and seokmin in front of him as you two go through the pictures and initial pictures. “he looks like a grumpy kitten! that’s so cute!” you exclaim, glancing at jihoon and back to seokmin’s camera. he tries to laugh it off when he sees how happy you look, but makes a mental note to have a nice, long chat with seokmin when everyone regroups later. seokmin counts his blessings and vows to stay by your side for his safety.

[🦊] wonwoo in wonwoo’s defense, he had no idea that it was blatantly obvious that he had been staring for the past ten minutes. all he knew was the music of the party was bumping to the max that he found himself secluded in a corner with a drink and his eyes naturally landed on you as you chatted with chan, a cup in your hands. the two of you were trying to outdo one another in weird dance moves–of course you were. at least wonwoo’s able to hold back his laughter when you do the robot and mockingly flick chan’s fringe in the process but apparently, it’s not enough to mask his poker face when–”you know, hyung,” mingyu clears his throat, using his head to point at the direction wonwoo’s been staring at for a while, “you can actually go there and talk to them.” when wonwoo processes the words coming out of mingyu’s mouth, he straightens his back and shakes his head, “n-nah, it’s fine. i’m good here.” mingyu smirks, squinting his eyes a little, “you hesitated. so you’ve thought about it.” wonwoo’s mouth opens to retort, but he finds that his eyes are widening when–”hey! there you are,” a familiar voice makes the shit-eating-grin on mingyu’s face grow wider when he processes who it is. “ah! y/n! a pleasant surprise!” mingyu chuckles when you lightly punch his shoulder, now diverting your attention to–”mr. jeon. would you be my partner?” wonwoo’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull, breath stuck in his throat until you finish your sentence with: “in beer pong? chan said he wants two on two and i refuse to be grouped with that idiot.” not even the way chan yells from a distance i heard that! could steer wonwoo away from his stunned expression. he only reacts when you tell him it’s fine if he’s not up for it, and that you could pair up with mingyu–”n-no!” wonwoo stands, clearing his throat, “i’d love to.” at his surge of enthusiasm, you don’t hesitate to reach for his wrist and grin at him, “perfect! let’s kick chan’s ass!” (mingyu gives wonwoo a small wave when they meet eyes just before you drag him away and mingyu decides to be a spectator; front row seats to seeing how you effortlessly bring wonwoo to his knees with every little thing you do.)

[fixfoxnox]

more stanley uris?🙏🙏

Calm Your Nerves - Stanley Uris x Fem! Reader (NSFW)

Description: Stan's nerves are eating away at him before he and his wife are set to meet up with the other Losers again, luckily his wife knows just how to help him calm his nerves. Part 2 of A Better Bath

Warnings: Smut

Names used: Babylove, no use of Y/N

Word Count: 3.1k

Note: I have one more Stanley Uris request in my ask box, but after I finish that I'll be taking a break from writing for Stan!

“You still aren’t dressed?” She stepped into the small room they’d been given at the townhouse. She’d wanted to make her own reservation for the trip, if only to give herself something that she could control, but Mike told her that he had everything handled, and that was that. She stepped closer to Stan, worry clear on her face.

She’d been hard-pressed to let him out of her sight since they’d gotten the call, since she’d practically broken down the door to his office, her eyes immediately zeroing in on the letters that he was writing. She’d known. She’d probably known he would try it since they were kids, since he’d taken that broken bottle piece and jokingly pretended to cut his own wrists when they made their vow. That memory had come from the depths of her mind. The vow. Derry, Maine. The Losers Club. Georgie. It. 

All of it had come rushing back to her and if it hadn’t been for the trashcan that Stanley kept by the door to his office, she knew she would have ruined their carpets. That didn’t matter though. It didn’t matter because Stan was here, he was here in front of her, sitting on a bed in the Derry townhouse, looking like a miserable puppy who’d been forced to take a bath, his wet hair from his shower still clinging to his forehead.

She stepped closer to him, moving to stand between his legs so that she could properly brush the hair from his face. He leaned into her touch, his arms coming to wrap around her legs as he leaned his head against her stomach. “It isn’t too late for us to leave,” he mumbled to her, his voice hoarse. “We can still go home and pretend this never happened.”

“Stan,” she scolded lightly, “We made a promise.”

“When we were kids!” He stressed, pulling back to look up at her with wild eyes. She could see the fear that was reflected in them and it made her heart constrict in her chest. She hated to see Stan so worried. 

“Hun,” she took his face in her hands, trying to comfort him as best she could, “It’s just dinner with some old friends.”

“But Mike-”

“Could be wrong,” she interrupted. She leaned down, capturing his lips with her own in a sweet kiss. She took one of Stan’s hands in her own as they pressed their lips together slowly, sweetly. His hands were shaking. There was another moment as she pressed closer to him, his hands began rubbing at the back of her thighs, skating over the curve of her ass. She pulled away from the kiss slowly, her hands pressing into his shoulders to push him back toward the bed. “I think,” she slowly climbed onto the bed to straddle him, “that you need to take your mind off of things. Calm your nerves a bit.”

Stan’s hands landed on her hips, tugging her down to grind against him in a slow roll. She gave a gasp at the delicious pressure, her hands coming to rest against his naked chest for support. Stan only tilted his head back with a satisfied sigh. “I certainly won’t say no.” He brought her down to roll against him again. 

She could feel him growing harder against her, his boxers were the only thing separating his growing cock from her jean-clad legs. She ground down against him again, tilting her head back as the move caused the seam of her pants to rub against her deliciously. “We have to be quick,” she warned him.

“I can be quick,” he assured her, his hands already tugging at the button of her pants, “But you have to get these fucking things off.” His words were nothing more than a low growl, ripped from his throat viciously. His cheeks were going pink and with that clouded look in his eyes, she knew that he was focused on one thing and one thing alone: burying himself deep inside of her. 

She was quick to climb off of him, shimmying out of her pants and panties as quickly as she could. Stan was in a similar boat, kicking off his boxers quickly to reveal his hard cock to the world. She licked her lips at the sight of it, feeling heat pooling in her stomach and her hands aching to wrap around his length. 

She watched wide-eyed for a moment as Stan wrapped a hand around his cock, giving himself a few slow jerks as moans pulled from his throat. She wasn’t going to stay still for long and was quick to take the few steps back toward the bed, batting Stanley’s hand away to replace it with her own. 

Stan’s head tilted back against the bed, his lidded eyes watching her face as her hand slowly worked his cock. She let her hand tighten and loosen in a quick rhythm. Tighter at the bottom and softer at the top. Her face flushed slowly as Stan’s moans grew more desperate, his hand coming forward to yank at her shirt, trying to tempt her to just climb on top of him and take him already. Her cunt throbbed at the thought. 

Still, she couldn’t force herself to, not when she could see the little bit of pre-cum at the tip of Stan’s cock, the sight was just too tempting. It was too tempting and she loved to hear the noises that he made. With that thought in mind, she let her hand stroke to the bottom of his cock before she dived down, giving a quick kitten lick to the tip of his dick. Stan’s hips jerked under the quick movement. “Fuck! Babylove,” she interrupted his words by wrapping her mouth around the head of his cock, swirling her tongue around him quickly. His voice sounded wrecked as another breathy moan pulled from his lips, “fuck, I thought we had to be- oh god, quick?”

She didn’t answer, only hummed amusedly in response. His responding whine made her throb. She dropped to her knees in front of the man, a bit more comfortable of a position than trying to lean over him. Her mouth continued working him, slowly taking him deeper and deeper into her mouth, laving her tongue over the side of his cock. It wasn’t until she’d taken him almost as deep as she could that she hollowed her cheeks, giving a harsh suck that had his hands flying to her hair and his hips jumping up into the feeling. 

She nearly choked on his length as it abused the back of her throat, but she managed to keep her gag reflex in check, allowing Stan to use his hand in her hair to begin guiding her mouth up and down on his cock, quicker and quicker as his moans grew more desperate. “So good for me,” he moaned out, “so fucking good, letting me fuck your mouth like this.”

She whimpered around his cock, feeling her face flush red again. She could feel herself clenching, aching to have some sort of pressure against herself. Her free hand dropped down, teasing her clit with slow strokes at first before speeding up to match the pace with which Stan was fucking her mouth. As usual, Stan seemed to know exactly how much she was getting off to this. He knew her inside and out, and he could tell from her moans the second she’d started to touch herself.

“Playing with your cunt, aren’t you?” He gave a moaned-out laugh, his hips beginning to jump up into her mouth. She could feel him twitching on her tongue. At his words, she pressed her fingers harder to herself, moving quicker to feel those jolts of pleasure work through her legs and slowly begin to fog her brain. “God, I wanna fuck you so bad, babylove.”

Spit slicked down her chin, the force of his growing thrusts making her gag around his length. He felt too good fucking her throat, she couldn’t even think about the fact that she likely wouldn’t be able to speak properly afterward, but she knew she wanted it. She wanted him to wreck her, she always did. The thought made her moan around his length, her hand on her clit slowly sinking lower to tease around her entrance. She prodded one finger inside of herself, it was far too little of a stretch, but soon she was able to add another and that, combined with the pressure of her palm still stimulating her clit, was enough to have her mind going blank. 

The sounds of moans and obscene sucking noises were the only thing in the room. They were being loud, as per usual, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. The walls in the building were thin, and she knew if anyone else was there they would be able to hear exactly what they were doing. The thought only made her lick and suck at Stan more vigorously. Let them know, let all of their friends know just how much they loved each other. 

Above her, Stan’s hips began to jerk more wildly, his hand tightened in her hair, and his moans grew more and more desperate, choked off with every move. She knew he was close, which was why she was so disappointed when his grip in her hair forced her off of his cock, a small bit of drool still connecting her mouth to his soaked cock. “Fuck,” He sat up from the bed, his face red and his eyes wide, “Get up here babylove, Let me finish in you, huh? Fuck you full.” 

The words pulled a startled gasp from her and she gave herself one last good pump of her fingers inside of herself before pulling them out and scrambling to her feet. She moved to straddle Stan, crawling on top of him and feeling his cock rub deliciously over her entrance. Stan was quick to capture her soaked hand, the one she’d buried in her cunt. He brought it to his mouth, locking eyes with her as he let his mouth wrap around the digits, licking them clean. 

He moaned around her fingers, “You taste so good,” he pulled them out of his mouth, placing a kiss on her palm and beginning to trace kisses up her arm so that he could sink his face into her neck as his hands pulled her hips flush to his, both of them gasping at the resulting pleasure. “When this is all over,” he muttered into the skin of her throat, “I want to taste you. We’ll make an afternoon out of it.” 

“Stan,” she muttered lowly, embarrassment and lust in her voice. Just the thought of Stanley with his face buried between her thighs had her cunt clenching around nothing. “Please, baby,” she begged. 

“Please what?” Stan muttered against her ear, amusement clear in his voice. “You have to be a bit clearer, babylove.” 

She whined, feeling his teeth nipping against her neck, leaving little marks as one of his hands trailed up, tracing under her shirt and up to her bra. He groped at her breast through her bra, pulling a gasp from her throat as his thumb rubbed deliciously over her nipple through the material. “Please,” she rolled her hips against his, pulling a breathy laugh from his throat, “Fuck me. Please!”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Stan pulled away from her throat, quickly capturing her lips against his own, a grin on his face. His hand on her breast pulled away, slowly skating down her stomach to teasingly brush against her clit. He used his grip on her hip to pull her down, his hand grasping his cock to line himself up before he was ever so slowly sinking her down onto his length. 

She gave a gasp at the feeling, a long moan pulled from her throat as her head tilted back. He was moving so slowly, so torturously slowly. She tried to roll down, seeking that little bit of friction from him, but his hands on her hips stopped her, forcing her to take him at the pace that he set. “God, Stanley,” she whined out, her legs shaking as her arms came to grip his shoulders, pulling him tighter against her in a sloppy open-mouthed kiss. 

They both gasped when he finally bottomed out. Stan moved away from her lips, burying his face back into her throat to suck marks against her skin. He just held her there for a moment, not moving. Finally, after she started to squirm against him, desperate little whines leaving her throat, he began to move, using his grip on her hips to roll her against him. “Go on, babylove,” he muttered into her ear, giving a quick nip to the skin there, “ride me.” 

He leaned back then, a smug grin on his face as his hands stopped moving her. It was clear to see that he was going to make her do most of the work. The thought had a shiver running down her spine, her heart beating faster in her chest as she clenched around him. He moaned at the feeling. 

She let her hands move to rest against his chest, using the leverage to slowly lift herself up, before dropping back down onto him hard, both of them moaning loudly at the stimulation. She repeated the movement again, building a slow but hard rhythm that had both of them desperate, harsh little moans forced from their throats. With every move of her hips, she could feel Stanley inside of her, brushing pleasantly against her walls and hitting that spot that had her back arching and her nails digging into his chest. Her clit was rubbing deliciously against the hair at the base of his cock, sending little jolts of pleasure up her spine with every move. 

Stan’s hands grasped at her hips harder, tugging her against him harder and harder with every thrust. His hips began canting up into the feeling, little grunts escaping his mouth as his eyes grew hazy and his mouth dropped open. Whispers of her name, of how good she was, of how much he loved her escaped his mouth, causing her to slam herself harder against him. 

Her legs burned with the movement and she knew that she would be sore by the end of this, but she couldn’t make herself care, her head tilted back at the exertion, but pleasure wracked her spine. Her mind was cloudy, the only thought in her head was a constant stream of his name. Just him, him, him over and over and over. “You feel so good,” she moaned, tilting forward to hover over him. 

He groaned at her words, his body tense. She could tell her movements were growing slower by how tense he was. He was trying to let her do it, trying not to just snap and fuck into her. The thought made her warm and she clenched around him again. There was an itch in her as well, they both knew that neither of them was going to be able to reach their end this way. It just wasn’t going to happen. “Stan,” she moaned, dropping down to press kisses against his naked chest. She took his nipple into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it and rolling forward at the desperate gasp he gave. “Fuck me,” she spoke against his skin, “Please, please, fuck just take me, baby.” 

He didn’t need any more permission than that. With a quick grab of her hips, he was flipping their positions, smoothly rolling her over to her back so that he could begin to pound into her at a quickening pace. Each of his thrusts pulled a whining moan from her throat, the bed beneath them creaking dangerously at the pace and force that he was fucking her with. 

She could feel pleasure rising up inside of her, every thrust forcing it higher and higher until she was threatening to spill, her hands scratching across his back and shoulders. He was giving harsh little grunts into her skin, sweat slicking his forehead as he fucked her harshly. His words stayed sweet though, “So good for me, babylove, so fucking good. Taking me so good, so fucking tight.” She could feel his pace beginning to change, his hips moving more erratically as he neared the edge as well. 

“Please,” her head lolled back against the bed, arching up against him, desperate for that stinging pleasure to continue hitting at her. Stanley delivered, pulling her leg up over his shoulder so that he could fuck into her deeper and deeper. 

It wasn’t long after that, the sounds of skin slapping skin speeding up, growing more erratic, when she finally found herself being pushed toward the edge. She could feel herself shaking, her entire body going tense as the pleasure continued building higher and higher before finally, with one last harsh snap of Stanley’s hips against her own, she was thrown over the edge with a call of his name. 

Stan wasn’t far behind her, the tightening of her cunt around his cock sending his hips stuttering against her own. Only a few more thrusts and he was giving a grunt, burying himself deep inside of her with a harsh grunt. 

She came back to herself several moments later, wrinkling her nose at the feeling of warm cum seeping down her thighs. She didn’t say anything though, only brought her hand up to begin carding it through Stanley’s hair, just letting him lay with his head against her shoulder. They would have to move soon, no doubt they were already late, but she wasn’t going to tell him that just yet. They could take a few more moments, they could be late if they needed to be. 

“Alright?” She checked with him again as they pulled into the parking lot. She was driving, knowing that he was far too nervous and distracted to be behind the wheel of a vehicle. 

He took in a deep shaky breath, wiping his hands on his pants but giving her a smile nonetheless. “I’ll make it,” he leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “Come on, I think we’re late.” He sent her a playful wink, one that had her heart fluttering in her chest and a smile pulling at her face. 

She didn’t know what was about to happen, she didn’t know if what Mike told them was true, but she did know that she would be able to handle it. She could handle it so long as she had Stan beside her, he helped her calm her nerves. 

My Masterlist

[sunlightandsuffering]

Any updates on those drabbles 😣🫣🫣

IT'S GOING WELL AHAHAHAH !! Here is one I wrote just from my own inspo bc I was listening to Drake, it's kind of silly, but Eren is totally a frat bro who listens to Drake and thinks he's the shit lmfaoooo! I was listening to girls want girls and I was like Mikasa totally HATES him for this and I couldn't get the mental imagery out of my head lol !!

“Go on Mikasa, you’ll be late and Eren won’t want to take you home.” Mikasa scowls miserably at the reminder, her lip curling up, teeth clenched together as she realizes what the next hour and a half of her life has to offer her. 

“Maybe I should get a buss pass.” “Mikasa hush,” Her mother chastises her, pushing her towards the door, her backpack in hand and a bag of chips for the road. She feels like a school girl being shooed off for her first day of kindergarten, her mom tugging at her hair fretfully, righting the small green t-shirt dress that she now regrets wearing immensely. 

When her mother is finally pleased, she steps back, one last perfunctory glance over before she nods to herself resolutely, “You look very nice.” Mikasa scowls harder and her mother makes a noise of irritation, “You’ll wrinkle, stop that!” 

She forces her face into a neutral expression just as her mother pushes her out the door with one last lingering kiss goodbye, “Have a good drive darling, be nice to Eren. He’s doing you a favour you know!” And that’s how Mikasa finds herself in the familiar situation, high school all over again as she waits at the end of her walk way, backpack in hand, and chillier than she should be in the warm spring weather. Damned green dress, she should have worn ripped jeans, the wind is too cold on her exposed thighs. And of course, Eren is fucking late. Mikasa glances down at her watch again, 6:15, he was supposed to be here ten minutes ago, had texted her that he was leaving from his obnoxiously large house down the street. She could have fucking walked there and been faster. 

Her irritated thoughts are interrupted by the tell-tale sounds of Eren’s arrival, thumping base, engine so loud it shakes the street lamps. It’s a brand new Subaru, sleek black and tricked out so much she doesn’t even want to know how much money he’s dumped into it. 

She fucking hates the thing, it’s obnoxious. Yet, she also can’t deny the little flutter in her heart every time he pulls up to her house in it, what the neighbours must think of her, that she has a handsome rich boyfriend at her beck and call. She doesn’t, she has an idiotic sexist frat boy instead. 

The only thing louder than the engine of Eren’s stupid car is his music, and he pulls up, windows down, the undeniable beat of a Drake album infecting her ears. His sunglasses slip down his nose as he pulls up, one hand on the steering wheel, the other reaching towards her out the window, a sweet serenade… if not for the fucking lyrics. “Say that you a lesbian, girl me too.”

This is Mikasa’s final straw, her mouth parted in pure outrage as the music pours over the street. “I’m not getting in the car.” Her voice is barely audible over the engine and the base and Eren pouts as he turns it down, putting the car in park, “What?” “I’m not getting in the car.” Eren groans, “Mikasa.” Is it too late to take the bus? She glances towards the lone bus stop a few paces down the street, the bus she’s never taken because she’s always had her irritating neighbour to chauffeur her around. She vacillates for a moment, but one look at Eren’s smug face, the disgustingly expensive dior shades slipping down his nose, the tight grey t-shirt clinging to his arm.

Mikasa starts walking. “Miki,” Eren whines, and she makes it several paces away before he’s following her at a crawl, “Please my mom will kill me if you take the bus.” “I’m not getting in the car if you’re going to play that.” “It’s Drake!” Eren exclaims as if this excuses his faux pas!

“It’s sexist as hell and a little homophobic,” Mikasa bursts and Eren sighs deeply, “If I turn it off will you get in the fucking car?” 

“I’ll consider it.” He pauses it for a moment, putting the car back in park and gesturing for her to get in. 

Mikasa acquiesces, but only after an appropriate amount of glaring, she has to make him work for it. Eren opens the door for her from the inside, almost a gentleman but not quite, grabbing her backpack from her hands before chucking it into the back seat. “Why do you always have to be such a pain in the ass?” He asks without bite, his gaze honed in on her legs as she sinks into the plush leather of the passenger seat. 

She smacks his shoulder, both for the remark and for the way he’s now unabashedly staring at her thighs where her dress has slipped just a little too high. And if she wore this dress for him, for exactly this reason, who is to say? He’ll never know. 

“Ow,” His gaze finally snaps up to her face, the lips pulled into a pout, green eyes sparkling with amusement, “God you’re so mean to me Mikasa.” “Someone has to be!” He grumbles something in response and Mikasa holds her hand up threateningly, another smack to that ridiculously well-muscled arm of his. Because seriously she’d probably done more damage to her palm, who said he could be so muscle-y? 

He fiddles with his phone for a moment, hitting the shuffle button and Mikassa glances at her own phone as she waits for him to drive off. The music cues up just as Eren’s hand grabs for the shifter, his foot shifting to the break peddle as he changes gears and Mikasa’s mouth parts in a mixture of shock and horror as the infectious beat of the next song slides over them, somehow even louder than before. “Bend that ass over! Let that coochie breathe!” It’s silent between them, save for the music between them, and she watches as Eren turns towards her almost robotically as ‘Rich Baby Daddy’ flows over the speakers. “I’m going to kill you.” 

“Mikasa!” 

She smacks him again, more aggressively this time, “It’s my drake playlist I just hit shuffle I swear.” She smacks him again for good measure, “Sexist asshole!” 

He throws his hands up in surrender, trying to escape to his side of the car as he slips it back into park, “It’s not even sexy, really if you think about it, it’s women’s empowerment!” Mikasa almost assaults him in his own car, throwing herself over the console to get better access so she can finally throttle him. 

He catches her wrist in his hands just as she makes her way across the console, her dress riding up much higher than is appropriate, threatening to show off the black lacy panties she’d chosen just in case she was feeling frisky.

“It’s a good song, don’t tell me you don’t bop to this during your gym sessions, c’mon Mika.” She will never admit that it’s on her running playlist, over her dead body, never! “I don’t!” Mikasa lies through her teeth and Eren manhandles her into a more comfortable position, tugging her all the way over the console and into her lap, and fuck why does she always end up in his arms? She’s breathing hard, fuming from their fight, hair a mess and cheeks ruddier than she’d like, he’s stolen her composure once again with barely a word. 

Carefully, he reaches past her to change the song, looking at her with suspicion the entire time, letting her wrists go with the other, “Happy now?” “No,” Mikasa scowls and Eren groans, “You’re so sensitive.” “I am not!” She’s about to launch into another rant about the patriarchy and the sexism of male rappers and blatant sexualization of women in all these songs but Eren just shakes his head, “Please don’t lecture me again, I’ll let you pick the next song, I cannot do another hour and a half lecture.” She loses her steam a little, remembering the ride up from university back home for reading break, she might have gone a little overboard there. “Besides, it’s catchy, just admit it.” Mikasa pouts, “It is catchy.” “Thank you!” As she calms down she realizes she has once again found herself in Eren’s lap, in close quarters with the boy she likes to fuck on occasion, who haunts her dreams more often than should be allowed, and well, he’s definitely starting to notice too. His eyes are now locked on where her thighs bracket his own, how she’s sitting so pretty, that if they were naked he’d slip inside right now, and with how fucking wet she is it would be easy. Shit. 

She’s about to sit up, but Eren’s hands settle over her thighs, rubbing tantalizingly up and down, warming her up from the inside out in her silly little dress. “You know,” Eren starts, his eyes locked on her mouth now, the teasing edge to his voice gone, replaced with something a little darker now, raspy with lust, “It’s really not sexist, actually kind of empowering.” “How so?” She asks, sinking further into his lap, just the hint of a grind as she feels him harden beneath her and god why does she always want him, even when he’s being a colossal asshole. “Rich baby daddy, I think she’s just using him for money, so really she’s winning here.” Mikasa scoffs, “Sure.” His mouth slips down to her neck, “You know if your birth control failed, I could be your rich baby daddy Mika.” 

Eren speaks with all the confidence of a man who was inside her not two days ago and definitely came inside her without a condom, and she fucking hates that it turns her on.

He lays hot open-mouthed kisses up her neck, his teeth nibbling at her ear now, her heart in her throat, “Probably spoil you rotten to be honest, you’re too pretty to work Miki, think I’d keep you just for me.” “Fuck off,” She whispers but there’s no real heat behind it, not when his hands are skimming at the hem of her dress, teasing at the edge of her cunt. “I think you’d like it.” “I think I hate you.” “Nah,” He murmurs against her throat, “You don’t.” 

And then he’s stealing her lips in a kiss that has her seeing stars, and she’s making out with Eren fucking Yeager in their neighbourhood cul-de-sac at 5:30 on a Sunday night, in prime view of dog walkers and horrified families. 

Eventually, she forces herself off of him, glaring the whole time, and he lets her choose the music as penance, to which she chooses some Drake that’s a little more tame, not something she can get quite so up in arms about.

She pretends to pout the entire ride back to school, but she shares her all-dressed chips with him and when his hand finds her thigh ten minutes into the drive she doesn’t protest. 

[bucknastysbabe]

I'm Your Man - The Handler Epilogue

Rating: Explicit/Mature

Tags: TW//Sui ideation/discussion, depression, self-hatred, abuse, ptsd, toxic relationships, this is sad, wrapping it on up, open ending, unreliable narrator, non-descriptive handjob, hydra reader/winter soldier, canon setting

A/N: Hey I'm back off my hiatus it's Bucky hours!!!!!! I love you all and hope to get into the ask box kink bingo soon <33

You're an angel, I'm a dog

Bucky thought about her sometimes. Not often, not on purpose. Late late at night after waking up writhing– again. That’s when the ghost of her soft touch and sweetened words would drip over him like honey. The commander. His only commander. An angel among men, to lead him around with the silver chain like a dog. Bucky, or the soldier back then, was quite willing to stay at her heels. 

Eat from her hand. Whatever. It made his stomach curdle a bit. How obedient and loyal Bucky was to Komandir. It wasn’t all brainwashing and trigger words. He preened for touch and love. Would kill, kill, steal, kill more, lie for the praising after. She’d always call him the ‘my precious star’ or ‘the greatest’ but he felt Rumlow’s description was more apt. A feral fucking dog. 

The brunette scrunched his eyes tight, trying to redirect his thinking, pressing fists into the socket, hoping to just sleep. Abate the chest deep loneliness in his cold, empty apartment. He tossed over on his side, blue eyes blank on the wall.

Or you're a dog and I'm your man

The cogs were still turning. Acrid smoke billowing from his ears, felt like. Bucky wished he could have asked Komandir why she stayed so long. How could she tell him she loved him and still let everything that happened happen. The abuse, the sickening touches, Strike Team taking what was theirs. She was a dog in her own way. Owned by vicious, vicious people. He knew she grew disillusioned before…the end.

 Bucky recollected memories in Siberia, the horrid second time he had visited. The way the new soldiers weren’t quite functioning up to standard. One of them hit her, tackled to the ground. She fought back, hollering, “Off! Off or you’re back in cryo Anatoly!” Her precious cheek crunched under a veiny fist. Karpov was too slow, staring in rapt interest and fear. At the time Bucky reacted blindly. His precious was going to be hurt. 

Anatoly, whatever the asshole’s name was, had his face smashed in. Dead. 

She had dragged Bucky off, cheek and eye swollen. Black and blue. He could only see red. Karpov’s voice was a whisper to him, he was focused only on any danger. Her chest heaved as she wheezed, fingers a vice grip around his arm, sparing a nervous glance. The rapid beating of her heart scared him. All Bucky wanted to do was protect his Komandir. 

Who was to say who was in charge between the two at this point? The question lingered.

You believe me like a god

She shoved him down in that dreary office. The same one where he first met her, felt that sickly sweet touch. The woman hissed in pain as she knelt down, lopsided face intense with emotions. He croaked, “He- he was going to.” She slapped him across the face, cursing low and raw. Tears brimmed in Komandir’s eyes. 

“Why would you do that? Why? Do you want to be taken away from me?”

The soldier miserably shook his head, throat tightening. Komandir stifled a sob, “I’m not to be protected! You are priceless, I am not. I would have been fine. Play your part or you’ll end up being under Vasily.” He whimpered in distress, feelings Bucky now recognized as guilt bubbling up. Like the broken toy he was, the soldier repeated, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I won’t do it again Komandir. I’ll be good for you. Please don’t leave me.”

She sighed softly, sweaty forehead pressing into his neck. Gloved hands gripped his shoulders. The woman murmured, “We have to stay together. You’re the only thing to keep everything in order. Don’t do that again.” 

“I will comply Komandir,” he stated as she nodded into his skin. He really meant it.

I destroy you like I am

Bucky accepted his fate to be lost in the past tonight. Sitting up he padded to the window, watching the night pass by. He idly thought about all the casualties and deaths associated with his existence. Born for destruction. Some sort of inherent darkness others like Steve or Sam never had. She had probably been his longest handler. They’d pass Bucky around and around until his head began to spin. Rumlow was his final handler. Good riddance.

She had stayed around only for the hope of him. Bucky couldn’t fathom why. It was some sort of concoction of misplaced love for him or what he represented, a false sense of duty to Hydra. He remembered her strained last words. Begging for him to ‘take the chance.’ Komandir’s words did ring true in a way. It wasn’t much longer after Steve appeared on the bridge and Hydra was shattered into tiny pieces. He did become bigger than the whole operation, the final vestige. Bucky wished she could have known that. 

I'm sorry I'm the one you love

Bucky’s hands crunched into the windowsill. Why did she love him? Why did anyone want to love him? They all left in the end. This lonely apartment was here as proof. Steve was gone, Komandir was gone, his family long dead. A terrible chill swept across his body. 

“Come back to us now, ma’s gonna have all of your favorites.”

“I’m with you until the end of the line.”

“Promise me, promise me, precious star.”

The brunette snarled back a sob.

No one will ever love me like you again

Bucky drifted deeper into his mind, he’d rather suffer than face reality right now. Back to a fonder memory. Her calloused hands stroking his thighs as Bucky trembled and whined. Komandir’s pretty voice cooing, “Sweet star, hold it for me? Hold it for your Komandir who loves you most of all. I’m sorry about earlier.” Bucky sniffed and watched her brows knit together. She continued, “I just got scared s’all. I don’t want you getting hurt by some other handler who doesn’t love you like I do.” 

“Y-yes Komandir, I know, mmmh, ah, m’so sorry,” he warbled, pulsing cock scrambling coherency.

She leaned up and took his swollen lips, hand dragging his achy member to completion. The handler sighed, “Good boy, precious star, come for me, I love you.” He remembered spasming underneath her, whimpering and carrying on like a little slip of a thing. She had a knack for that, tearing the strong soldier into a slobbery sobbing mess. 

So, when you leave me, I should die

Bucky’s cock twitched as he pulled himself out of the heated memory. He couldn’t even get hard nowadays. Any attempts reverted back to full softness. Usually tears. What kind of man can’t even jack himself off? Huffing softly Bucky leaned his forehead against the window. Maybe he should’ve joined her with a bullet in his skull. But he was always the loyal dog, following orders to a T. Run on back to Pierce after he was given the mission. Get her out of his system.

I deserve it, don't I?

He certainly deserved it. But life was given to him again. Sam reluctantly needed Bucky. He had these dumb fucking amends to make, besides the poor boy he didn’t want to think about. Not to mention an asshat carrying around Cap’s shield. Maybe he could dive into a volcano or figure out a way to snap himself again after helping Sam out. Put some sort of goodness in the world. He’d have to do something for Wakanda, Shuri, and Ayo too. 

“Fucking hell,” Buck groaned.

I can feel it gettin' near, like flashlights comin' down the way

Bucky did not expect this excursion with Sam to be..so arduous. Painful. He’d been getting his ass kicked every day and dealing with absolute dredge of the earth scum. Last night was a fucking nightmare for him. Having to pretend to be soldat again. Like Zemo said, it wasn’t hard for him to slip right back in. It’s easy to follow orders. As much as his gut screams to stop, don’t fall back. 

Just the right push and he could be that again. A mindless animal in exchange for attention and being worth something. Jumping for a purpose he supposed. Even if he didn’t want to do it. Hell, he was doing it to be pardoned. Owned by a government again. 

The lights flickered on the city’s skyline. Like angels calling to him. The great light. He closed the curtain. Sam looked worried. Zemo was staring into him, those horrid vulpine eyes. Of everyone Bucky knew– Helmut Zemo understood him best. Regrettably.

One day you'll figure me out, I'll meet judgment by the hounds

When he had to give Zemo up to the Wakandans he didn’t shoot the man. Couldn’t. The Sokovian was the closest to unraveling what held Bucky together. His late Komandir neared that too. Shuri could fix the wires in his brain. She could not figure out what made him tick. Had to have a modicum of sadism and twistedness he presumed. Bucky grimaced, staring at the bleak monument for what felt like hours after everyone had left, feeling awful about Ayo’s look of disappointment. Other faces of judgment filtered through his mind; Both Starks, Walker, Steve, Isaiah, Raynor, Pierce.

 He needed to get to New York. Sitting here for a while would do. Wallow in misery.

He rasped, “Why did you have to leave me? You were supposed to fix me.”

The wind whispered back, unintelligible. If he strained his cursed perfect hearing enough it almost sounded like her. 

He stood up. Time to meet Sam. Get this over with. Face judgment or smiles.

People always gave me love, others were never to blame after all.

Bucky felt happy watching Sam receive the love and praise he deserved. Worthy of all the shield represented. He clung to that all the way down to Louisiana, helping out and getting heaped with love he didn’t deserve. Bucky could still be charming, dredging it out of his core. He swallowed down the memories of her and Steve again, their disgusting unconditional affection. Sam did the same. Saw something good. The former soldier didn’t know what. Saving people on this expedition didn’t equalize the balance of all the destruction he caused. 

It felt nice regardless. He couldn’t stay. It did not sit well within him. 

You believe me like a god, I betray you like a man.

He settled all the amends. Now Bucky needed to figure out some things. He didn’t know where it would lead. Maybe Madripoor, maybe Siberia in that dingy office, maybe that condemned apartment where his heart cracked. Nobody needn’t know, this was about him. A broken man at the end of the day. Still a man. He smashed the new phone under his foot. Komandir may have treated him like a deity for the good of the world but they both knew the truth. That’s what broke her. Bucky stared at the gravestone and headed off.