#such a good episode ending he just wants to look after da boys

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Caught up on comms (for now) you know what that means (JAKE JAKE JAKE!)- this was really quick so apologies for the messy sketchy work :U

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The Fella Part 10 (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

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Summary: A family occasion takes a turn for a worse when Mary tells her aunt Bridie to drop dead, which she takes seriously. At her wake, Michelle has the bright idea to bring laced scones, which are taken and distributed among the guests.

A/N: credits to @crumpets-are-better-with-jam for writing out the script of the episode for me :)) btw just a warning, it gets a bit heated a little towards the end, but not too much i think. Also talks of drugs bc duh

***

It was becoming a bit difficult to keep up with who knew about Y/n and James’ relationship and who didn’t. Y/n’s sister Erin knew that she fancied James, but wasn’t updated on the fact that they had been dating for over three months now. Clare knew that the pair were going out after catching them kissing at the Take That concert a few weeks ago. But the rest of the group and the teens’ families were none the wiser.

Except for Y/n’s father, Gerry.

One night, everyone was hanging around the Quinn household. There were movies, loads of chatting, and some dinner. But with so many people in the house, it was hard to have even a moment alone with James. So, while everyone argued over what to put on next, Y/n snuck out to the front room, boyfriend close behind.

“I thought we weren’t gonna try to keep things a secret,” James said as he leaned against the wall, Y/n tucked into his side and holding his hand.

“I know Jamie. But with situations like this, I think it’s better to sneak away. I mean, imagine the shock that would come to Mammy, Granda, or Michelle if any of ’em found out.”

“Yeah…” James sighed, realizing Y/n was right.

“Now imagine if all three of them found out at the same time.” Y/n laughed at the idea while James’ eyes widened in horror. “Besides, wanting a moment to ourselves isn’t all bad, right?” She asked, looking up at the boy.

“Right.” He mirrored her soft smile before leaning down to catch her lips in a kiss that was eagerly returned. 

So eager that the two didn’t hear the door open.

“You’re lucky it’s me catching you two instead of your mother,” Gerry spoke, startling Y/n and James, who jumped apart. He felt a bit awkward catching his daughter kissing her boyfriend, but he didn’t look too surprised that she had a boyfriend in the first place.

“Da, I can explain.” Y/n tried to go on, but Gerry held up a hand, signaling her to stop.

“I already know.” He said with a smile, hands clasping behind his back. “About you two. Never would’ve if they didn’t decide to film that concert you girls went to.” That new information mortified Y/n and James. But they didn’t have time to fully react, because Gerry continued. “I think the three of us should have a little chat.”

***

The conversation wasn’t as bad as Y/n thought it would’ve been. Gerry was clearly happy and okay with the relationship, just wanting to make sure that they weren’t doing anything too serious. That topic might’ve been the most embarrassing part of the interaction for Y/n.

James, on the other hand, seemed scared shitless the entire time. But Y/n suspected that her father wasn’t so hard on him because of how he was treated by his father-in-law. He probably didn’t want to create some kind of a cycle. Plus, Gerry was pretty fond of James, even before he learned about him and his daughter being an item.

The entire talk played on a loop in Y/n’s head as she sat in church with the rest of her family, waiting for their relative’s wedding to start. Soon enough, the familiar tune of ‘Here Comes The Bride’ started to play, and everyone in the room stood.

“Where do you reckon Aunt Sarah is?” Y/n asked her sister Erin, noticing that a family member was missing from their pew. But her question was soon answered when Sarah entered the room and started walking down the aisle, dressed in white. “Good God.” 

Gasps and murmurs filled the room as Sarah went to stand with her family in the pew, revealing a horrified bride and her father behind her.

“Jesus, but that taxi took forever, so it did.” Sarah sighed. The bride-to-be looked at Sarah, absolutely appalled as she passed by. “Ach, isn’t she gorgeous?”

Mary rolled her eyes and looked up towards the sky as she took a deep breath.

“Give me strength…” She muttered.

***

Y/n was a bit surprised that the Quinn family, mainly her aunt Sarah, was still invited to the reception. But that didn’t stop her from trying to have a good time. She, her sister, and her cousin drank and danced around as they waited for their friends to arrive.

Soon enough, Erin spotted their friends, nudging her sister and cousin to gain their attention. They quickly ran to the venue entrance to meet with the other girls and James.

“Muthafuckas!” Michelle yelled in greetings, arms spread out and grin wide. 

“How’s it been?” Clare asked with a smile.

The sisters and Orla all had different responses, but had the same reaction when Mary snuck up behind the three of them.

“Girls!” The shout startled them, and everyone whipped around to look at her.

“Jesus, Mammy,” Y/n muttered.

“I said you could invite one friend to the reception. One!”

“Mammy, they don’t come separately,” Erin said, rolling her eyes. She thought her mother would’ve learned this after years of friendship.

“We’re like one big set,” Y/n said, gesturing to the group of teenagers.

“Aye, we’re pack animals, Mary,” Michelle said. Mary was about to say something, possibly tell them to leave or further reprimand them, when James spoke.

“I love your hat, Mrs. Quinn.” He said with a smile, eyeing the accessory. Mary smiled, and the girls were surprised to see that her slightly sour mood had seemed to disappear.

“Thanks, son.” She said, giving him a nod before looking at the whole group, a bit more serious. “No wild carry-on. Do you hear me? We’re in enough bother as it is. Best behavior.”

“Completely.” Clare nodded, taking the commands to heart.

“You’ll have no trouble from us, Mary,” Michelle said with an innocent smile, which should be worrying. Mary walked off, and Michelle turned back to the group once she was out of earshot. “Okay, girls, who wants to do drugs?” Y/n snorted at the complete 180, but Michelle was completely serious.

The girls, mainly Michelle and Erin, like always, had a back and forth about the drugs and someone named Macca and so on. Y/n used this moment to turn to James, almost glued to his side at the back of the group as they all walked around the reception party.

“Trying to butter up Mammy, are you?” She asked teasingly, thinking about how James’ little comment completely changed her mother’s sour demeanor.

James laughed a little, throwing his head back, and Y/n couldn’t help but smile stupidly at the boy. He shrugged.

“Well, I figured I might as well start now to try to get on her good side. It’s only a matter of time, I think.” Y/n nodded in agreement.

“We could tell them.” She suggested after a small moment of silence. James perked up, both surprised and delighted by the notion. “I mean, like you said, it’s only a matter of time. And they’d probably prefer hearing it from us over walking in on us doing something.”

James’ cheeks reddened at the sentence. He blinked a few times, his mind clearly drifting off to some kind of thought.

“And by something… you mean like-” Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and music started blasting through the speakers. Y/n lit up in excitement along with the rest of the room, while James looked a bit confused at the commotion that started to happen.

“‘Rock the Boat’! It’s ‘Rock the Boat!” Clare squealed as she recognized the song.

“Happy fuckin’ days!” Michelle said, and the girls ran to the dance floor. Y/n was dragging James behind her, who seemed slightly alarmed by everyone’s intense enthusiasm. 

Everyone sat on the floor in long, giant rows, fighting for space. The girls were able to push their way to the front, synchronously dancing with the rest of the party people. There, the girls continued their drug conversation, with Y/n and James now joining in.

“Look, Michelle,” Clare said to the girl behind her. “Drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, and perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them. And I like my kneecaps, Michelle; they suit my knees.”

“You do have crackin’ kneecaps, Clare.” Orla smiled at the girl, having to leave to the side and turn her head to look at the blonde.

“Is that true?” James asked, lips close to Y/n’s ear.

“What?” Y/n turned around, almost startled by how James was to her face. “Clare’s kneecaps?”

“No. I mean losing your kneecaps.”

“Oh. Clare’s a bit dramatic, Jamie.” The girl turned back around to face ahead. “But she’s a bit right, I think.”

“What?!”

Before any conversations could continue, a dull but loud thud was heard from a corner of the room. Everyone looked to see Aunt Bridie lying on the floor, with the Quinn family looking at Mary in shock.

***

The next few days felt tense at the Quinn household. It was mainly the teenagers being fearful of Mary, because they believed that she was the reason for her Aunt Bridie’s sudden death and didn’t want to be her next victim. The house had never been so clean and tidy.

“I just cannot believe it.” Mary’s tone was almost flat as she stared off into space, clutching her teacup and rarely ever sipping it.

“Listen, Mary,” Sarah said, sitting in the chair beside her. “No matter what you’ve done, you’re still my sister. I’ll stand by you.”

“I haven’t done anything, Sarah.”

“Exactly, love. Everybody knows you didn’t mean to kill the old boot.” Grandpa Joe paused to take a sip of his coffee. “God rest her soul.”

“I didn’t kill her,” Mary responded, immediately tired of the assumption.

“You know what I mean, not kill.” Joe looked around as if he would find the word he was looking for on the wall. “Hex.”

“I didn’t hex her either, Da.” She said defensively. “It was just a very tragic-”

“My mother, she had the gift too, y’know.” Joe interrupted. “By God, that woman could make her enemies drop like flies.”

“Look, I don’t have any gift,” Mary said, letting go of her teacup to lay her hands flat on the table to show finality and seriousness. “There’s no dark forces at play here. I just said somethin’... unfortunate that happened to-”

“Cause her death?” Sarah asked.

“Coincide with her death.” Mary corrected.

Ah, yes. Mary telling her aunt Bridie to drop dead and then her actually doing it was just an unfortunate coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less.

Meanwhile, at the sink, Y/n dried the last dish that Erin washed and handed it to Orla to put away. The three girls had been working as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Mary. Erin was the first to speak, turning around slowly with a nervous tone.

“Right. Well, that’s the dishes done. Would you like another cup of tea, Mammy?”

As if remembering she even had a cup of tea, Mary looked down at the cup and took a quick sip.

“No, I’m fine.”

“I’ll just grab the Hoover n’give the stairs a bit of a going over.”

“Aye, and I can sweep the hall and such,” Y/n added, trying to remember the last place she had seen the broom. 

“And I’ll maybe do a bit of dusting,” Orla said.

Mary raised an eyebrow, suspicion of the girls pulling her out of her dazed and solemn mood.

“What’s gotten into you all?” She asked. “What’re you up to? What’s going on?”

“Nothin’!” Erin answered, still seeming a bit scared. “We just thought that we should pull our weight a bit more, Mammy.”

“You do so much for us, Aunt Mary.”

“Aye, Mammy, you deserve a bit of a break.”

“I can’t hex people, girls,” Mary said frustratedly. “It was an accident.”

As if on cue, Gerry waltzed into the kitchen and smiled at his wife. He placed a hand on her shoulder as part of a greeting.

“So, how’s the Wicked Witch of the North West?” The question seemed so loving and innocent. Y/n would’ve laughed if Mary hadn’t seemed like she was actually about to murder someone.

“Who put fifty p in the eedgit?” Joe asked, glaring at Gerry. Gerry looked at him confused, wondering what he had done this time.

Mary groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

“God, how am I going to go to this wake?”

“It’ll be grand, love,” Joe said. “But listen, say if things do get heated, try not to rise to it. The last thing we want is another dead body on our hands here.”

Mary stared up at Joe with a blank expression.

“I’ll do my best, Da.”

***

Later that evening, the Quinns and McCools arrived at the wake. Everyone seemed a bit surprised and startled to see Mary, clearly believing the rumors that she had been her Aunt Bridie’s undoing. After a slightly awkward encounter with Eamon, Bridie’s son, the girls escaped everyone by going upstairs to the room that held Bridie herself.

“She really suits bein’ dead, doesn’t she?” Orla said after a good moment of solemn silence, staring down at the woman.

“What?” Erin seemed disturbed by what her cousin had said, but Y/n nodded.

“No, yeah, I agree. I like her better like this.”

“Y/n, she’s dead.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you liked her better living?”

Before Erin could answer, the door to the room opened. The girls turned to see Clare peeking her head through.

“Can we come in?” She asked in a whisper.

“Why are you whispering, Clare?” Y/n asked, tilting her head in confusion. Clare paused, thinking it over.

“I don’t know.”

The rest of the group crowded around Bridie’s casket. Michelle and Clare walked to the end by her feet, and James decided to stand behind Y/n. He rested a hand gently on her shoulder, as if to comfort her, and she raised a hand of her own to lay on his, as if to thank him.

“Thanks for comin’, guys.” Erin sighed, seeming slightly distressed now. “It’s nice to have a bit of support in this very difficult time.” Everyone seemed very confused by the statement. 

“You thought she was a dick,” Michelle said.

“I never said that.”

“You did, Erin,” Orla said.

“I’m pretty sure we all thought she was a dick, but you were the vocal one about it,” Y/n added.

“Aye, I’ve definitely heard you say it,” Clare said.

“Okay, can I just check something?” James asked, clearly focused on something else. The girls looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Everybody else can see the dead body, right?”

Everyone took a glance at the body in question, trying to figure out what the problem was.

“It’s just Bridie, Jamie,” Y/n said.

“It’s Bridie’s corpse.” The boy corrected. “It’s Bridie’s dead corpse.”

“It’s her wake. What were you expectin’?” Michelle asked, rolling her eyes.

“Haven’t you ever seen a dead body before?” Erin asked.

“Of course not!” James nearly yelled, shocked that Erin would even ask such a question. Michelle scoffed.

“Christ, but the English are weird.”

Orla leaned down close to Bridie, taking her face in her hands and looking up at James. She had that childlike but absentminded wonder in her eyes and smile that she always had.

“You can touch her if you want.”

James flinched, moving his hands to Y/n’s hips as he took a slight step back. As he moved back, he maneuvered Y/n to act as a shield between him and the dead body and Orla. James looked at Orla in disgusted shock.

“Why the hell would I want to touch her?” Y/n snorted at James’ suddenly high-pitched voice.

“It’s nice.” Orla smiled brightly.

“Stop it.”

“It’s just a dead body, James,” Clare said in a comforting tone, trying to get him to calm down. “We’re all gonna be one someday.”

“Oh, thanks for that, Clare!” Horrified, James brought Y/n closer until her back was pressed against his front. It was as if everyone else was some sort of strange or bad energy that could only be warded off by Y/n, and she was happy to go along with it. “Yeah, that’s helped!”

“It’s okay, Jamie,” Y/n said, patting one of the hands gripping her hips. James relaxed just a bit, but was still weary because of how weird this whole situation was to him. “Calm yourself.”

“It really makes you think, doesn’t it?” Michelle said solemnly, staring at Bridie for a second before looking at the girls. “Death.” She sighed dramatically, and everyone immediately wondered what she was up to this time. “It just… just makes you wanna… do everythin’ and just… try everythin’.”

“What’s going on, Michelle?” Clare asked, looking at her suspiciously.

“Yeah, what are you on about?” Y/n eyed the girl with a raised brow. Michelle suddenly seemed excited, a stark contrast to her fake grimness.

“Do you wanna see something’ class?” Michelle then threw her purse, which was, for some reason, big and bulky, onto Bridie’s feet. Someone would’ve reprimanded her for disrespecting the deceased by using Bridie as a table, but they were too busy watching her pull a big Tupperware out of her purse. “Prepare yourself, girls.” She then popped the lid off to show what was inside. She looked at her friends excitedly.

“Scones?” Erin asked, clearly unimpressed.

“That’s right.”

“What’s so class about scones?”

“Scones are lovely.” Orla countered, seeming a bit offended by Erin’s uninterest.

“Aye, I like scones.” Clare nodded.

“No, these aren’t any old scones, girls.” Michelle insisted, shaking her head. “These are funny scones.”

“Funny’s the right word, alright,” Y/n said, reaching for one of the scones in the bin to look at it. As she dropped it back in with the rest, she looked at Michelle with a tilt of her head. “What’s so special about ’em?”

“They’re drug scones!” Clare squeaked, pointing urgently at the food. “She’s put the drugs in the scones!”

“Too fuckin’ right, I have,” Michelle said with a grin. “I wanted to do brownies, but this was the only recipe my ma had, so…”

“I don’t think it’s that hard to find a brownie recipe, Michelle,” Y/n said. 

“I’m not goin’ out of my way to find a brownie recipe, Y/n.”

“We talked about this, Michelle. We agreed.” Clare said, bringing the conversation back to the drugs.

“No, we didn’t,” Michelle argued. “Anyway, drugs aren’t illegal when you put them into food. Everybody knows that.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Michelle,” Y/n said.

“Is that right?” James asked sarcastically, almost glaring with bewilderment at his cousin. “I’m not sure that’s right.”

Just then, the door opened, and everybody froze. An old woman walked in, and the girls quickly recognized her as one of the caterers for the wake.

“Any cups up here?” She asked, walking towards them while looking around. She spotted the tub, and before anyone could stop her, she reached out and grabbed it. “I’ll take that.” The woman said simply before leaving the room.

Everyone stared at where the scones had once been, panic running through them all.

“What the fuck just happened?” Michelle asked the room. Y/n looked at the girl with wide eyes.

“I believe a caterer just took your funny fuckin’ scones to give out at our great Aunt Bridie’s wake, Michelle.”

After another moment of feeling frozen, everyone went downstairs as fast as possible without drawing attention. Defeated and not knowing what to do, the girls sat down on the steps. As they settled, they watched Joe pass by with one of the scones in hand.

“What are we gonna do?” Clare asked frantically.

“It’s fine,” Michelle said shortly. But everyone could tell she was just as panicked as the rest.

“It’s definitely not fine!” Clare hissed. “There’s drug scones down there. People’ll eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.”

“Our granda included.” Y/n butted in, resting her chin on the top of James’ head, who was sitting on one of the steps just below her. “Lord knows what’ll happen to him.”

“So?” Michelle said, clearly worried but trying to seem aloof. “Drugging people isn’t a crime.”

“You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle,” James said, rubbing at his eyes in disbelief and exhaustion.

“What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?” Erin asked with a scowl. Michelle scoffed.

“Typical.” She said. “I try to do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.”

“A nice thing?” Y/n repeated in disbelief, turning back to look at Michelle. “Oh yeah, how nice. Let’s all get hopped up illegally at a wake. Oh, wait. We can’t, because someone took your stupid scones!”

“It’s terrible,” Clare added, sounding as panicked and scared as usual. “There’s old people down there; what if an old person takes one?”

“Why does everyone get so sentimental about old people?” Michelle asked. “Old people are arseholes.” 

“We’ve got to get ’em back, girls,” Erin said, starting to get scared of the thought of any of her family having a funny scone.

“Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great Uncle Colm.”

“Oh Christ, I didn’t even think about that,” Y/n muttered. Colm was already a character to begin with; him being high as balls would probably turn him either more boring or unmanageable. Y/n stood up and faced the girls. “Here’s the plan. I’ll head to the kitchen to grab whatever’s left. The rest of you go and find the ones that people have taken and pray that they haven’t taken a bite yet.”

“And remember, girls,” Erin said, standing up with her sister. “Be subtle.” Everyone nodded and split up to do their tasks.

Y/n went to the kitchen and quietly crept to the swinging door. She took a quick look, saw that the few people inside were occupied with different things, and carefully walked in. She was surprised to see her father ranting about cross-contamination and using different bowls. Y/n wondered if he had been roped into helping in the kitchen, but whether he was forced or had volunteered, she smiled at the sight of his sudden passion.

Y/n spotted the scones, about half the amount from the last time she saw them, now plated on a serving platter. While reaching for the plate, the door opened behind her.

“Now listen here, you.” Y/n flinched and turned around quickly, recognizing the voice to be her granda Joe. But he wasn’t looking at her. As usual, he directed his pointed look to Gerry, who looked at his father-in-law, both confused and annoyed.

“Yes, Joe?”

“I just wanna say…” Joe trailed off, getting closer to Gerry and putting a hand on his shoulder. Gerry and Y/n looked at the old man in bewilderment when he laughed. “I think you’re doing a fine job.” Then he patted Gerry’s cheek before turning around and walking out of the kitchen. “Keep up the good work.”

Gerry and Y/n turned their shocked stares to each other once Joe was out of the room. The only thing that broke their eye contact was a timer going off, which somehow snapped Gerry back into his working mode. Using the opportunity of her dad’s distractedness, Y/n swiped the platter and walked out.

The girl soon realized that she and her friends never agreed on a place to meet after retrieving the scones. But not wanting anyone to see her wander around with a platter of scones, she snuck back upstairs, where she was surprised to see James slowly wandering the hallway.

“Hey,” Y/n said with relief, glad it was him instead of a stranger. Or worse, her mother.

“Hey.” He smiled at her, holding up a scone as he walked closer to her. “Found your uncle Colm with this.” He sat the scone on top of the others.

“Thank God you got it before he took a bite.” Y/n laughed lightly, James joining in. “Were you just waiting for someone to come up?”

“Yeah, I thought being up here would be better than wandering around where everyone else was.”

“Smart.” Y/n nodded once, looking around the empty hall. “What do you suppose we do about all of these?”

The two thought for a moment, racking their brains for an idea. James suddenly snapped his fingers.

“Remember when you snuck over to mine that one night, and we watched Goodfellas?”

“Aye, Ray Liotta was a dream, wasn’t he?”

“Sure.” James rolled his eyes at the comment. “But do you remember how Karen got rid of the drugs?”

Y/n took a quick second to think about whether or not she did, in fact, remember. The most memorable things of the night she snuck over to James’ were Ray Liotta, the snacks James had snuck up to his room, and kissing each other to keep loud talking or laughs from gaining the attention of the rest of the household.

“You think it’ll work?” Y/n asked once she remembered what James was talking about. “I mean, these are scones.”

“What other options do we have?” James asked. And to be honest, Y/n couldn’t think of any.

The sound of a knob turning startled the two teens. They scrambled to hide the stolen platter of scones behind them just before the bathroom door a bit down the hall opened up. A middle-aged woman that Y/n barely recognized walked out, and Y/n and James smiled politely at her as she passed.

Once she was down the stairs, James and Y/n ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

“Let’s just wait for the others here,” Y/n said, balancing the platter on the sink so she wouldn’t have to hold it any longer. “So… what d’ya wanna do?”

It took a few seconds of silence before Y/n and James rushed at each other, quickly becoming a mess of tangled limbs and clashing lips. The couple rarely had time alone for things like this, the heat of the moment always being ignored because of the fear of being caught. But with a locked door, a few minutes of making out couldn’t do much harm.

Y/n’s hands buried themselves into James’ curls, tugging at them as he backed her into the wall next to the door. A hand cupped the back of her neck while the other stayed gripped on her waist, keeping her in place. Not that she’d want to leave.

James’ lips strayed away from Y/n’s, leaving featherlight kisses across her cheek and jaw before settling on her neck. The hand on Y/n’s neck pulled back her hair, giving James the access he needed to nip and suck lightly at the sensitive skin just below Y/n’s ear.

“Are you marking me?” She asked, breath hitching. She wasn’t opposing the matter, far from it, really. But she was a bit surprised to have this kind of behavior coming from James.

“Just a bit.” He replied breathlessly, kissing the slightly sore spot before returning to Y/n’s lips. “For a bit of fun, y’know?” Y/n giggled. She was lucky that she could probably hide the soon-to-be mark by keeping her hair down.

“Sure, just a bit of fun.” She replied, pecking James’ lips a few times.

The two were able to get themselves straightened out just before the rest of the girls found them. They closed the door behind them, and James caught them all up on the plan.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Michelle sighed as she and the rest of the group broke apart the scones and dropped the crumbled bits into the toilet. “It’s fuckin’ heartbreaking.”

“Believe me, Michelle, it’s better this way,” Y/n said, grabbing another laced scone. “Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting, like, really fuckin’ weird.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“He was nice to Daddy.” The group made noises of shock and disbelief. “Exactly. And if Mammy starts asking questions…”

“You’re Ma won’t trace it back to us.”

“Are you serious?” Erin asked Michelle. “She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done back to us!”

“Are you sure this’ll work?” Clare asked James.

“This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare.” He said confidently, as if this wasn’t the first time he’s had to do this. “I’ve seen Goodfellas, like, twenty times.”

“Aye, good movie,” Y/n commented as she brushed her hands on her jeans to get rid of the crumbs that stuck to her nervously sweaty palms. 

“That’s not the only way.” Orla countered. “I watched this film once about this girl who was tryin’ to hide drugs, and what she did was she shoved them right up her—”

“I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla.” Michelle hissed. Orla shrugged, raising her hands in defense.

Once everyone was done breaking down the scones, Clare sighed, seeming as nervous and panicked as always.

“Okay, I’m gonna flush.” She did so, and everyone watched as not much happened. “Is it working?”

“‘Course it’s working,” James said, still sure of his plan.

But then the water started to rise, and everyone started to panic.

“Jesus Christ!” Erin yelped in a high-pitched voice. “Why is the water rising, James?”

“I don’t know! The water didn’t rise in Goodfellas!”

“We’ve clogged it.”

“Who has a plunger?” Orla asked, seeming to be the most calm of the group.

“I’m afraid I left the house without me plunger tonight, Orla,” Erin replied, clearly sarcastic. 

“Aye, me too,” Orla replied seriously. “Nightmare, so it is.”

The toilet started flooding faster, and the girls scrambled around in a panic. Scone water was beginning to spill onto the floor, and everyone had to stop themselves from gagging as they tried to find a way to clean it up. This situation couldn’t possibly get any worse.

“Dear God…” Everyone whipped around to see the adults of the Quinn and McCool families, plus Bridie’s son, Eamon. Erin laughed nervously, deciding to be the one to find an excuse.

“It looks worse than it is.” Was all she said, which really wasn’t much of an excuse.

“My mother was right about you people,” Eamon said, horrified and angry. “Wild animals have more manners.”

“We didn’t have a plunger, Eamon!” Orla shouted.

“Get out!” He yelled. “Get out!”

The teens did so gladly, running out of the bathroom and out of the house. They gathered on the front lawn, and they couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the evening. But they still feared what would happen when Mary walked out.

“The night wasn’t all that bad, I think,” James said quietly, only Y/n being able to hear him. She looked up at him curiously.

“How so?”

Instead of speaking, he raised his hand to cup her neck, gently tapping where he had bruised her. She gasped, pushing his hand away before the two of them fell into laughter, not caring about the confused looks their friends gave them.

“I’ll see you Monday, then?” He asked when they had calmed down a bit. Y/n caught a glimpse of her mother leaving the house before she answered.

“If I live that long.”

~~~

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[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #4

... Angela has orange eyes. Interesting... It's a good thing that 8 years ago, I didn't set up my entire magical society to be obsessed with natural orange features like hair because it's the rarest color in the magical world, ahahaha...

Cosmo hung a picture of himself on their wall.

SHE HAS A CREATURE-HUNTER FOR A DAD? Oh no, oh no, oh no... Someone call Doombringer, Crocker, and Ed Leadly- They've got a new friend!

He didn't react to Cosmo and Wanda describing the features Crocker always names as fairy traits (wands, wings, floating crowns), so he probably doesn't know Crocker.

She's so cute...

Okay, I love that Cosmo and Wanda walk backwards while bouncing. They are still not used to being human.

CRYING, Wanda literally noped out with a farewell of "We probably won't be seeing you much." That is a woman who is not willing to get dragged out of retirement and back into creature-hunting threats. I'm very curious as to how they end up with Hazel.

Hey, Hazel's indoor rug is even cooler than the one in the hall.

POV, you usually would fly across the hall but you don't have your wings out right now.

She vaporized the door, doors are STILL for chumps!!

AND WE GET CEILING LIGHTS? They thought of everything!

... Enrichment Academy? Interesting...

Okay, I love how the building design, the hills, and Hazel's schoolmates still totally belong in FOP style:

Hey, that's the guy from the story bible preview! He's getting the skateboard noises; that's cute.

And baby, we're SO back!

Cosmo and Wanda think they slick:

Hazel introducing herself to the class as "liking french fries" is a mood.

"I have an older brother! He's my best friend. He's visiting today and it will totally make up for the fact that no one laughed at my rock joke." - Girl, you are dying inside.

(He's not gonna show and that's what'll push C and W into taking her in... isn't it?)

Oh, they have swirls on their ears like the OG style! Nice. Also, I love the thin, stretchy arms and tiny legs... This is nice.

Oh no.

Yeah, this kid looks stable. Please tell me he doesn't have orange hair. Haha, I'm in danger.

HE'S DALE'S KID??? Lemonade Dungeon Boy got himself a partner? Mr. Only Shows Up In One Episode unless he's the pixie godkid implied by Da Rules' page about pixies in the Musical but he's probably not, he's just always been my leading theory and it was in Season 2?

Ohhh, boy; writers did their homework. I support him and what I can only assume are well-adjusted social skills. And yay, that gives us a timeline.

If this kid were an animal, I don't think I'd let him eat out of my hand. He's ready for collateral damage.

Hazel has been so nice to everyone, not even outing Cosmo and Wanda to her dad, and she's already ready to yeet this kid into the trash because he's not good enough to recycle.

omg, we're getting introduced to the background characters? Yesssss...

Okay, I'm cracking up at Dev introducing the ASMR guy (Whisper) as "gives me the creeps, but I respect the hustle." I'm intrigued.

Whisper was my alt name for Whistle, so I'm glad I went with the latter!

I am saving every poster I ever see.

Love how we're getting to tour more of the building. We've got stairs! And mailboxes! ... Also, Cosmo and Wanda were not her bubble charms in disguise, but that's definitely where they're going.

I like how Hazel's parents did immediate damage control when she started reacting and made sure she was expressing a healthy response in front of Antony.

I'm obsessed with Hazel. She reminds me so much of Chloe. "Running away! Not in a bad way like on TV, but in a good way! 'cuz it's me and I know what I'm doing!" They would be friends. I wonder if we'll get to see adult Chloe.

omfg, Cosmo and Wanda saw "Child running away" and they're IMMEDIATELY gunning for this child. Sir/Ma'am, please get your minds retuned for this century. Do not steal the child.

SLDKJFSDF compilation of past episodes where Cosmo has gone to space after he says he wants to go to space. Looks like the "Spaced Out" saga AND - and I am shook -

THAT'S "TERRIBLE TWOSOME," Season 9! When he's reading jokes to Poof so he'll stop blocking the sun!

Sir/ma'am, where is your paperwork to take this child?

I'm glad I got a heads up that the writers confirmed the bus driver isn't actually Timmy; I can see how that would be confusing.

Stopping here so I can do a thing with my parents. Will return later!

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Warner Bros Animation, favorite character from the 2002-08 half of the Kids WB shows with: Mucha Lucha, Ozzy & Drix, What's New Scooby Doo, Xiaolin Showdown, The Batman, Johnny Test (this oughta be interesting since it aired on three different networks with varying seasons of quality with seasons 1-3 premiering on Kids WB, seasons 4-6 being produced for Cartoon Network, and the revival seasons being produced for Netflix), Loonatics Unleashed, Tom & Jerry Tales, Shaggy & Scooby Doo Get a Clue, and Legion of Superheroes? I skipped Coconut Fred since everyone and their mother despises that show (one of the worst of all time).

Jesus Christ that's a lot. Also look given some past entires here, Coconut Fred is being kept on the grounds that it shoudn't be forgotten just for being horrible. like da boom crew which I thankfully haven't seen. So anyways..

Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island: I saw it at the time and it.. sure does exist. It's a half hearted spongebob ripoff. I'm talking about it because it did exist but don't have much else. Maybe I shoudl've left it out but i've let worse shows have an entry. This is just.. ntohing.

Mucha Lucha: IT'S A WAY OF LIFE! Senior Hasbena who just had a fun voice and a great early spotlight episode. The show itself is one I need to revisit but is awesome as hell, having a nice respect for luchadore culture while also being pretty nonsesically fun. While I would love a full on wrestling action series, this one was still good fun and needs ot be avaliable to stream in some fashion.

Ozzy and Drix: Drix if only because he was my faviorite in the movie. This series feels.. unecessary. It's not a bad idea but both frank's state at the start and Ozzie and Drix ending up elsewehere make it feel like the first film didn't matter and it feels weird to just.. not keep the setting. If they wanted kid plots, Frank has a daughter. That gripe aside the series was ... eh. Not terrible, but nothing really super special either.

Xiaolin Showdown: Jack Spicer. The boy, the myth the legend and Danny Cooksy's best role by a wide margin. A fun villian who was laughable enough to never get boring and stick around long after he'd been outclassed by newer big bads. Xiaolin Showdown is one of the best cartoons of this era, one of the best of this action show block and one of the best. I rewatched it in college and was amazed it held up so well. The show is genuine about our four heroes working, said four heroes while having familiar archetypes for the most part, are great characters who are a load of fun to watch and the format of the showdowns is engagin: while it does usually lead to some form of fight the contest format adds a nice wild card to it: our heroes can end up in a game where telling the truth is the only way out, a soccer match for OMi's soul, or a battle royale with all present. IT's a wonderful show I wish would get a proper revivial. And no Chronciles dosen't count, chronciles can go fuck itself.

The Batman: Another one to revisit and i'd say clayface as the twist of him being someone batman knew and trusted is utterly guttnig. I gave up on this one early for petty reasons depsite having most of the toys: I hated what they did with mr freeze and felt it couldn't compare to btas. Time has passed and with the later seasons adding some nice swerves i've accepted the show is it's own thing, trying to be a more action oriented shonen to forge it's own identity from the more moody btas. And it did apparently get better and better as it went and having seen a later episode or two casually , I can agree. Plus I admit to loving the touch of having batgirl join up before batman. Also the movie where he fights dracula is fucking dope and wel lworth your time.

Johnny Test: I'd say the twins for being usually hilaroius. As for the show.. it's eh. I used to hate it

But I now see it as an okay show that had some fun bits, and what I saw of the revival, as sadly short lived as it was, was better. It's still not AMAZING, but it wasn't the mindless garbage it got labeled as either. Nor a dexter's lab ripoff.. I do think they took some inspriation from it clearly, I mean look at the twins... but when you look at the cast none of them really match up to dexter's aside from the twins, whose crush on gil and age diffrenate them just enough. It's not an amazing show but it's hate was overblown.

Loonatics Unleahsed: Look the base concept of "The looney tunes as superhero: could be fun. I have a batman daffy and superman bugs on my desk as I type this. They did skits of the kind. The problem is lonatics wanted to be batman beyond with looney tunes and it never worked as a kid and dosen't work now.

Tom and Jerry Tales; I love tom and jerry but i've barely seen this.

Shaggy and Scooby Doo Get a Clue: The timing on this one as good as i've been watching through this on and off with @jess-the-vampire recently. I don't really have a faviorite. As for the show itself it's overhated like the last two entries and honestly.. it's okay. It's nothing amazing thus far, trying to be venture bros by having henchman 2 be an obvious ripoff of 21. Which wouldn't bother me if they did it right but instead he's just annoying. That being said it's still not a terrible series: the theme song is terrible but the show itself is solid, having intresting sometimes bonkers plot and shoudlnt' be vilified for breaking formula. It may not entirely work.. but I can respect TRYING something new an dhope go go mystery machine is a better version of this.

Legion of Super Heroes: Bouncing Boy: this series kept his goofy powers but also what works: someone who badly wanted to join the legion, never gave up and then threw in his reboot self's pilot skills and flsehd out his perosnality.

As for the show i'm a big legion of superheroes fan and this show is part of what brought me to the clubhouse. It's a slick show that nicely merges the two continuties it had to work with: the pre zero our one from the silver age and beyond and the reboot that helped ground things (The third reboot, yes three and there was a fourth long after, was just happening around this time so only star boy being black made the cut from there), while keeping the silver age namesan dastetic from before.

The result is a fun show that loves the legion dearly, has a great cast of characters and despite being made to have a teen superman show dosen't let clark overshadow everyone else: he's the lead.. but most of the main cast get a focus episode over the course of season 1. I"ll admit season 2 isn't quite as good as due to executive mandates the female cast is sidelined in places and imperix is a boring villian, while superman x, superman but EDGGGYYYYY just isn't that intresting. But season 2 isn't all bad with some standout episodes, the addition of chameleon boy and a truly chilling arc with brainy and an old friend I won't spoil for those who haven't seen the show. This series is a little seen gem that needs more love.

I realized as we worked on this I almost forgot something important, a series that begs for the spotlight so..

What's New Scooby Doo: We're comin after you, we're gonna solve that mystery. This is a hard one as the gang is reinvented well but i'd have to go with Fred, whose goofiness begins. After the great prequel that was pup named scooby doo and the success of the live action movie, What's New was a reinvention of the franchise in an odd way: it goes back to the gangs old actors , minus grey delise making her debut as daphne, and old style of writing thigns but updates it in a way that dosen't feel too dated now: sure the gang does extreme sports, but it's not to rocket power levels and fits for Daphne.

This series also cements fred and daphne's new roles going forward, roles that helped keep the character fresh despite the dozens of films and handful of series to come. Fred was dialed back from teh conpsiarcy theroist of pup, but instead became the bumbling tourist, a tad awkawrd in places and a tad over excited in others. It added nice layers to him besides solving mysteries and bullying his best friend and it left the door open for him to get reinvented a lot. Daph meanwhile, got a welcome reinvention that let her fit into the classic gang better: like her pup counterpart she often uses fashion, her wealth is more displayed (if not used as a fucntion) but her friendly nature and willingness to get into things (or easliy getting into activties she hated at first), all debuted here.

What's New is a fun series: shorter than you'd think, but having watched it about twice with jess , it holds up really well, combinging the usual formula with some fun hyjinks and creative setups. Sometimes it was bonkers, but it was a solid return to form that let the series experiment more with the next few, and deserves more credit for helping codify a lot of the modern franchise.

[thesilliestofgals]

The pilot for The Amazing Digital Circus dropped on Friday, and it's absolutely taken over my brain and become my new hyperfixation, so of course I'm going to ramble incoherently for like 30-40 minutes trying to construct a theory about it.

Ready? No? Well neither am I because hoo boy is there a lot to unpack here!

(WARNING: spoilers under the cut!)

I want to get this out of the way first- the pilot, in my honest opinion, is a treasure trove of those golden foreshadowing nuggets. The video I linked does a really good job of showing most of them. There is one moment, however, I believe, that is foreshadowing and was looked over.

This moment right here... they lurked on it for a reason. "But Nonny!" you protest, "Maybe it was just to show how surprised Pomni was when she finally got a full look at her new body!" And sure, that could be the explanation, but that just... isn't satisfying for me. I have an idea we'll see this scene recreated down the road- Pomni escapes back to the real world and is running from something or someone, and is able to see her human form in a mirror or window or other reflective surface.

On the topic of Pomni... When I first heard the "How do I... take this... headset off?!" My theory brain immediately jumped to "Oh, VR!", but then I thought, "Well, she could be referring to her jester hat". Glad to know I was right, as Pomni says, after failing to take it off, "I-I-I put on some... weird headset and now I'm... here." Later on, when she's running through the office, she stops and we see this:

It's... weird. Out of everything in that office, that stopped her, and it caused a very visceral reaction. I have many questions about how exactly this office is even here (did Caine make it? If so, how would he know what an office looks like?), but something stood out to me the most.

On the far right looks like a weird headset. Perhaps this is the headset Pomni was talking about.

This ties in with another very important detail.

Since the release of TADC, there's a theory that the circus is the creation by a company, and those in the circus are/were employees or beta testers for the digital circus. I want to add onto this theory that. Maybe this company is a bit more.. malicious, and this beta testing wasn't entirely voluntary. Perhaps those trapped in the circus are employees who discovered the truth behind what the company is really doing (what nefarious stuff could it be doing? No clue!). This could work- perhaps Pomni was close to finding something out, so she was manipulated into becoming a "beta tester" for TADC and got trapped there.

You know, "C & A" reminded me of "Cain and Abel"... Now, that first name sounds... familiar...

"Ok," you pipe up again, "but Caine is AI. This is been established. So, how in the world would he be able to make a (presumed) company with another individual?" Well, it could be likely that Caine was named after one of the founders of this company- or maybe he's considered a "founder" of the company. I dunno, this part of my theory needs to be fine-tuned a bit.

ALSO, WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF CAIN & ABEL: TADC seems to make callbacks to the Bible. This post does a really good at explaining it, but to summarize: at the end of the pilot, we get this scene:

The post I linked points out this setup looks very similar to Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper painting. And honestly, considering everything? This isn't too far of a reach. I'll have to keep an eye out in future episodes to see if any more of the bible references show up.

Back to Pomni- something that interested me was, after Ragatha was healed, Pomni's hand glitch healed, too.

...Why? Caine didn't snap his fingers at Pomni, but her glitching stopped when Ragatha's did. Perhaps Pomni's glitching was connected to Ragatha's, so when Caine healed Ragatha, it extended to Pomni. I'm very interested to learn more about abstracting and glitching.

Speaking of abstracting... one last thing before I finish off.

This right here... worries me. The whole Cellar thing implies that the abstracting problem has been happening probably since the beginning of the Circus. And by Caine just tossing these creatures away... I have a feeling this'll end up biting him in the butt later.

This is really I have so far. If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to add it. I know this theory was kinda all over the place, but I just wanted to get it thought there.

[toujokaname]

Game master / Episode 6

Author: Akira

Characters: Aira, Hiiro, Takashi

"Hiro-kun, did you shrink...?"

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Secluded Village

About an hour later. At the entrance of the accommodation prepared for ALKALOID in the Amagi Village.

Aira: (Sigh... I feel kinda nauseous for some reason.)

(We were just having a nice meal, but Rinne-senpai had to drop that heavy stuff on us.)

(Now my head's pounding and my stomach feels heavy.)

(Maybe it's the aftermath of those laxatives from the third match. My gut's grumbling.)

Aira: (But... Maybe I should've thought about it properly, instead of brushing it off as Rinne-senpai's usual nonsense.)

(We're currently in the middle of an "overarching trend.")

(No... All along, right from the start, we've been pawns on ES's chessboard, in their efforts to change this world.)

(Aware of that, what are we going to do?)

(Will we continue to follow orders obediently as before, or will we rebel like Crazy:B?)

(We have to think this through. If we just go with the flow, we'll end up taking a nosedive straight to the bottom of the waterfall.)

Aira: (But... Uuu... After all, it's beyond what a commoner like me can handle.)

(There's no use mulling it over it alone.)

(I wanted to wander around and observe a bit, but maybe I should head back to the room and pick Tattsun-senpai and Mayo-san's brains about it—get the opinions of smart people.)

(I've been doing that a lot lately.)

(Just a little while ago, I was an underachiever who couldn't get anywhere, but somehow I've managed to stand proud as an idol because of that.)

(Even if I think about it alone, it's probably just gonna lead to a big screw-up anyway.)

???: —What's wrong?

Aira: Hm? Oh, it's no biggie, really ♪

I sorted it out on my own, no need for you to worry about it, Hiro-kun—

???: Really? You look pale, so I'm worried.

Aira: .........

...Eh, w-what?

???: What's wrong?

Aira: Hiro-kun, did you shrink...?

???: Even if it looks like that, I've been growing a little taller lately?

Though I am tiny compared to Nii-san.

Aira: No, wait... Eh, what's this? A dream? Am I having some kind of mystical backward village experience?

Hiiro: What's wrong, Aira?

I got worried when you didn't come back for a while.

It's best not to roam around too much. The villagers won't cause trouble since we're guests, but—

My hometown has always been closed off, resistant to other cultures and tourists. That's why it reacts negatively to outsiders who try to mix with it.

It fears outsiders and, in some cases, attempts to get rid of them.

So, if you don't want to get involved in strange troubles, at least stay close to me.

I'll protect you, Aira.

Aira: No, I think I'm already involved in trouble...?

Hiiro: What do you mean? Come to think of it, you've seemed unwell since the meal, Aira.

Maybe the cuisine from my hometown didn't agree with your constitution?

???: Ah, it's Hiiro-sama. Good da... good evening?

Hiiro: Umu. It's a tricky hour, so it's hard to greet properly.

Aira: No no, why're you having a normal conversation?

Who is this boy? Someone you know, Hiro-kun? He looks like he could be your twin, is he a relative or something?

Hiiro: No, I don't know this child?

It's strange... This is a small community, so I thought I knew most of the people in my hometown, but...?

Who are you? Where are you from? Where are your father and mother?

???: Ah, um, nice to meet you.

Takashi: My name is Takashi.

Hiiro: Takashi-kun. What characters do you use for your name?

Takashi: The "天" from Amagi (天城), read as Takashi.

Hiiro: Hmm, that's an unusual name for our village. The name Amagi indicates a monarch, so it would be disrespectful to use the same kanji.

Could it be that you're from somewhere else? It looks like Akan-san and Anzu-san, who got stuck in traffic earlier, have finally arrived—

Did you come with them? Could you be a child of the staff?

Aira: Oh, come on, isn't he way too similar to you, Hiro-kun? You're acting like nothing's wrong, but don't you have any suspicions?

Hiiro: What truly matters isn't your appearance, but your inner self, your character... Don't you think?

But now that you mention it, he does look a lot like me.

Hiiro: Ah... Aira! Could it be that you gave birth to my child?

Aira: What do you mean "could it be"? I've been suspicious for a while, but haven't the Amagi people received a proper sex education?

We haven't done anything to make a kid, and two men can't possibly have a baby together, now can they?!

Hiiro: Why are you upset...? You always get like this, Aira. Did I say something strange again?

Takashi: Ah, they're calling for me.

Apologies. I'll be taking my leave, Hiiro-sama.

Hiiro: Ah, wai... He's gone. What was that all about?

Aira: He addressed you using "sama," so he's probably someone from the Amagi Village. You and your family are the most respected here, right, Hiro-kun?

Hiiro: Umu. Surprisingly, you're very observant of others, Aira!

Aira: Ugh, what do you take me for?

Hiiro: But, like I said earlier, I don't recognize him... He looked just like me when I was a child, but I'm here now.

I think he's a complete stranger. Still, he looked too much like me.

What's going on? I have this uneasy feeling in my chest...

[ ☆ ]

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[crimsonlyinglilly]

Familiar Faces - Admissions, dealing and confrontations. Part 2

Summary: Elijah Gilbert has been haunted by dreams of other lives as long as he remembers, but now with the appearance of the Salvatore brother he may finally get some answers.

Sorry, it's been a while and each chapter is getting longer.

Also flash backs always trip me up.

-----

Damon grimaced as he looked at the bodies around him.

“Please try not to kill them.” Elijah had asked.

He looked at the collection of dead Junkies around him, request failed, at least he had only told Elijah he’d try but clearly all the blame for this was on Stefan.

Who had locked him away to stave.

To miss out of Elijah’s life.

Who had lied about Elijah’s death.

Who had killed Elijah in the first place.

And then went to Damon to get him to turn.

Elijah had been dead before he had taken his first taste of human blood and damned himself, although he couldn't stay angry about that now as it gave him a chance to help Elijah in a way he hadn’t during their life.

Fixing his episodes, getting to watch him grow healthy, to get to live a life without waiting for his illness to finally take him.

Still before he could get to that he had a mess to clear up then he could returned to the boarding house, where he’d likely be facing two judgemental little brothers but that was fine since they were alive to be angry at him.

The fire light reflected off his hand reminded him, he called Stefan.

Hello? Stef’s voice greeted him as he picked up

“I want my ring.” He told him still a little angry after the discovery that he had killed Elijah to bother with the niceties.

“Where are you?” 

“I'm at the sizzler. I had the buffet.” he explained, moving his torch to light more of the bodies “Where's my ring?”

 I don't have it. Where are you? What have you done?

“Noo,” he drawled “what have you done? You're the one that locked me in the basement and starved me, so whatever I've done, whoever I've sucked dry is on you, buddy.”

Even after Elijah asked.

“Thought it was better than feeding from him,” he replied, "unlike someone.” He was pleased to hear a choked sound of guilt or pain either way it was a reaction however Stefan smothered it too soon and returned to lecturing him.

“You're being careless. How many more animal attacks is this town gonna believe, huh?

“I know how to cover my tracks, Stefan.” he snapped back, annoyed, “Where's my ring?”

I'll get it back, but I need time.

“What, did you FedEx it to Rome?! Where is it? I want my ring, Stefan, or I’ll get Elijah to make me a new one”

"Leave him out of this."

“He offered, like the good little brother he is” he taunted, “I could even visit Elena after.”

“I already want you dead. Don't give me another reason to make it happen.” Stefan’s could almost be serious. 

“Don't give me another reason to rip you apart.”

Yeah? Is that gonna be before or after you get your ring back?

“Just get it.” he ended the call before he heard anymore of his brother’s voice. He didn’t really want to get Elijah to make him one, Elijah hadn’t sounded particularly happy while talking about his magic earlier and besides it was his ring.

He was almost finished pouring the alcohol over the last corpse when it coughed, he stared until he recognized the girl. 

Vicki Donovan.

She passed out again quickly afterwards.

"You're going to have to be more careful." he told the unconscious girl, "Pretty sure Elijah would be pissed at me if you died."

There were pictures of Elijah and Elena with the Donovan boy in the Gilbert living room, Elijah was closer to the age Damon remembered him as in it, the age he died at, that had to mean they were somewhat close to older Donovan.

Vicki Donavan’s luck must suck to place her in his path twice.

Well at least it gave him someone to keep him occupied until Stefan returned his ring, Damon’s pretty sure looking though Elijah’s past lives in his current mood wouldn’t do his self control any good and he was meant to be trying for Elijah.

—-

Stefan stared at his phone, Damon was going to end up back at the house where Zach was alone, he should go back but there was a risk that Damon would keep his threat and come here once he found out Elijah had left.

So he stayed outside the Gilbert house.

He had watched as Elena helped his-their-her- Elijah from the car into the house and was surprised to hear them climb the stairs together when he knew Elijah’s room was on the ground floor.

Then he was reminded of the times in the aftermath of Eli’s Episodes when his nightmares would be worse and Damon had snuck Elijah into one of their rooms despite their father’s anger. 

So he understood as he watched Elena place Elijah on the bed and cross the room to climb into the other side and cover them, watched as she stared at his sleeping face the way he remembered doing memorising for the time he was sure he would lose him.

Her text arranging a meeting at a café for the next day that had come moments later before she fell asleep was still sitting on his phone screen, behind the notification of the ended call.

As much as he wanted to keep her safe from the knowledge and horrors that came with it she would be safer if she knew more and with whatever was the cause of Elijah’s episodes and memories, likely supernatural she was already involved.

He sent a reply agreeing to her meeting and settled in to watch until sunrise.

By then his brother would be trapped for the day and he’d have the day to plan of what he was going to do.

—-

He finished quickly after that and brought Vicki home with him to find a lack of living teenage brother, he could smell their was only one human in the house, so he dropped the girl on the couch and went to find ‘Uncle Zach���

“Where’s Elijah?” he asked after he found Zach back in the library still going through the papers, he looked exhausted.

“He’s gone home.” the man replied without looking up.

“I thought he was staying.” He said settling against the arch, he was very sure that Elijah had arranged it with his aunt.

“His sister arrived, she found out.” Zach shrugged, still refusing to look up, and Damon realised he was copying parts of Elijah’s notes from one of the older lives.

“Found out?” he asked, eyeing the collection of paper; notes, journals and old photos spread out across the table. “About you-” Zach said finally looking up, the man somehow looked more tired than he had when Damon had left “Vampires and Elijah’s dreams.”

“Huh,” he let out before asking, “didn’t take it well?”

“Well enough, considering,” Zach shrugged, “Elijah agreed to explain to her and they left.”

“And you returned to being the busy little bee.” he mocked, Damon was torn between missing the underlying tension of fear Zach always carried around him or relieved someone was able to deal with Elijah’s past thoughtfully, all Damon saw was the lives Elijah had lived and suffered through while Damon and Stefan were out living their lives.

“We have nothing but Elijah’s notes on this side of the table.” he explained, Damon had to agree with the that, Salvatore side despite its few empty places looked filled compared to the other.   

“So look up through the Gilbert records.” he shrugged

“I have, and the Sommers.” The human shook his head, right because Zach had been aware something was wrong with Elijah Gilbert for years. “Miranda wasn’t pregnant.” he added.

He blinked at the news.

“The twins are adopted.” He said as he put the picture together, before asking “So what's your plan?”

For all he wasn’t going to work with Zach, he might as well keep track of what the other was doing, the more information would be useful when Damon found a witch he could trust with this and Elijah.

“I’m going out in the morning to search for more information using some of the names and things EJ managed to write down.” the man explained before wincing as he noticed his slip up.

“Great, I got the house to myself.” he mockingly cheered, Zach looked up with confusion before his eyes moved to Damon’s hands.

“Because your ring.”

“Guessing you don’t know where that brother of mine hid it, do you?” he asked, smiling.

“No-” Zach started,

“And you wouldn’t tell me if you did.” he finished for him as he left the library, he had to hide Miss Vicki so Zach wouldn’t see her and they could party until Stefan returned with his ring.

—

Elena was doing this for Caroline and Vicki who had been hurt, for the people who had died, for Elijah who wouldn’t tell her everything in trying to protect her, for herself because she needed to know so she could protect the people she loved.

Still even knowing what Stefan was, she trusted him, believed him when he said he didn’t want to hurt her, so she left Elijah sleeping in her bed.

Proof he had pushed himself too soon after a episode, otherwise he would have woken up while she was getting ready and left to meet Stefan at the Grill.

She had explained to Jeremy before she left, trusting their little brother would be able to keep Elijah at home and from doing anything too much for him.

“You said you would explain everything. That's why I asked you to meet me here. When you Google "vampire" you get a world of fiction. What's the reality?” She starts facing Stefan in a well lit public place. She might trust him despite herself but she wasn’t a complete fool.

she‘d get information on vampires and then Elijah’s problems.

“I can tell you whatever you wanna know.” he replies, it’s a start.

—

“Elena...Give me today. I will answer any questions that you have, and when it's over, you can decide for yourself what you wanna do with what you know. It'll be your choice.” Stefan had said and she had followed him off alone.

Maybe she wasn’t being as safe as she should be a voice that sounded a lot like her twin sighed at her from her mind.

—-

“What’s up with your hand?” Liz asked as she noticed the bandage wrapped around Logan’s hand, it was a nice distraction from the likely mess she was going to see when she uncovered the bodies.

“Gilbert’s hell beast.” he told her as he held his hand up, pulling the sleeve down to reveal more bandages around his arm

“What?” She asked flatly, however understanding slowly dawned on her.

While the Gilbert children had stayed with her after Grayson and Miranda’s deaths, Elijah had gone back to the house repeatedly to check and feed his cats.

When she had asked why he hadn’t brought them with him, Jeremy and Caroline had laughed, which had been a relief as it was the first laugh she had seen from the youngest, while Elena and apologised that they couldn’t do that to her or her house.

Caroline had later explained that one of Elijah's cats was half feral to anyone that wasn’t Elijah.

“While I was searching the house for the watch, I opened one of the downstairs rooms and this black and white beast attached itself to me.” he explained,

“You didn’t hurt it.” She asked, she remember Miranda telling her that the cats had become a help to Elijah during his episodes; the last thing he needed was losing one of them so soon after his parents.

“No.” he snapped, apparently annoyed by her concern, “it let go as soon as I started to take it out of the room and I shut the door. Thankfully the watch wasn’t in that room.”

“You got it.” she asked.

“Yes” he told her and she felt herself calm slightly.

“Good.” she said hopefully they could track down the monster and deal with it before anymore people got hurt. She missed Grayson, he had more experience with these things.

—-

Elijah is woken up by a knock at the door, it takes him a moment of disorientation as he sat up to find himself in his sister’s room instead of his own, before his mind catches up with everything that had happened since he had left for the Salvatore boarding house the day before.

The fact he was waking up alone in Elena’s room with the sun already up hit him.

“Where’s-” he blinked at a concerned look on Jeremy’s face as he stood hoovering in the doorway, his mug in his hands. “Are you okay, Jeremy?”

He’d worry about Elena later, he knows she would understand putting Jeremy first.

Jeremy snorted but took the question as permission to enter and hand him the mug.

The tea is a little too pale for his taste but given both his siblings and aunt prefer coffee he’d take any attempt.

“You always do that, push yourself then worry over us instead of taking care of yourself.” he complained as he sat heavily on the bed, leaning against Elijah’s legs.

“One day I'll learn my lesson.” he joked, it failed to lift the frown from brother’s face, “what’s the time?” he sighed.

“Just after noon.”

“And no one woke me.”

“Why, you got a meeting?” Jeremey shot back, “the fact you slept this late clearly means you needed it.”

He bit back a comment about it being his health to worry about since that never worked, instead turned it back to Jeremy.

“So what’s bothering you enough to bring me tea?” he asked,

“Can’t I just be worried over my idiot brother?” his brother shot back with a speck of guilt that likely would have been missed if he was any else but his siblings.

“Not with tea you can’t.” he told him, with a reassuring smile, after several moment of silence he added ”So are you going to tell me what’s bothering you? and where’s Vicki th-” he started since she had mostly been at Jeremy’s side since he had woken up from the episode.

“Have you touched dad’s watch?” The unexpected question interrupted him.

“No, last I saw it you had it.” he had agreed with Elena at giving it to Jeremy over a pointless show at the Lockwood's, it was theirs and he wanted Jeremy to have it, Dad had always planned on passing it to Jeremy, Elijah had had enough talks about it trying to reassure dad he understood “Have you lost it?”

“No i-” Jeremy cut himself off with an angry look. “No i left it in my room.”

“Then who's been in your room?” he asked

“Vicki.” Jeremy sighed before adding more slightly hesitantly “and Aunt Jenna’s guy”

“The slimeball- er Logan right?” he corrected himself before adding with slightly more concern “Why was he in your room?”

That at least managed to put a smile on his brother’s face which Elijah would take as a win, even if he wasn’t sure why.

“He wasn’t. I don’t know,” Jeremy replied shrugging “I found him walking around up here last night. After he accidently walked into your room.” Jeremy explained, 

“My room?” he blinked, suddenly worried he would find it a mess.

“Luci left marks.” Jeremy smirked, Luci had gotten used to Aunt Jenna quickly compared to everyone else but there was a reason he had to stay in Elijah room when he wasn't home, he attacked everyone other than family otherwise and he only listened to Elijah.

Jeremy spoke again before Elijah could ask “I checked on him, he’s alright.” he might be a large beast happy to use teeth and claws but he was still a cat and he forgot that made him the smaller fighter. 

The smirk vanished when Jeremy suddenly asked 

“You don’t think Vicki would have taken it.”

“No.” he shook his head, he refused the thought they had known her since they were kids, she wouldn’t steal something that important from them and he’s sure her feelings for Jeremy were real.

Another part of him knew how desperate someone could get for a fix, but Vicki wasn’t that far gone, she still had other ways to get her supply.

Vicki still saw beyond the drugs, Elijah remembered getting to the point where all he cared about was his next fix, to escape the nightmares and the real world.

Remembered where that had ended.

That wasn’t Vicki.

But Logan Fell, a member of the foundering families, who had already been oddly interested in the watch.

Mrs Lockwood should have left it as soon as Elena apologised for not finding it but instead she had asked Elijah at the party itself, had called to follow up on it afterwards when there wasn’t a need for it. The founding Council had to know the watch belonged to the firstborn sons of the Gilbert family, it wouldn’t be a stretch for them to think he had kept it back.

And it was just poor luck that Jeremy’s room, both had the watch and didn’t have a fearsome beast protecting it.

Elijah frowned the watch coming to his mind clearly, why were they so persistent, he wondered if Zach knew but for all the Salvatore were a founding family, he remembered being there for it, Zach wasn’t part of the current council. 

Why?

Great, a mystery that didn’t involve him, he could solve it without the risk of facing existential dread.

---

He had managed to get down stairs without Jeremy hovering, after downing the lukewarm tea and released Luci and Kit to feed them smiling at their loud complaints a at being unjustly confined, Luci had apparently cleaned himself of any evidence of the suspected mauling.

He left them to feed, while he went through his dad’s phone book to find Zach’s mobile number something he hadn’t thought to get yesterday too excited by the chance of solving his- everything, of speaking to all out loud and being believed, they were right he had to admit he had pushed himself to far, but he hadn’t done it on purpose he had truly forgotten it, in the rush of being believed.

He found the number and quickly added it into his phone, under Brother- Zach, before calling he had something he needed to ask, another thing beside his health he had forgotten in the rush of being believed.

He wanted to keep the details of his life before EJ hidden, he didn’t didn’t really want the details of that life and what he had done as Elias, he wanted others to know even less.

----

Zach is ignoring his instincts screaming at him for leaving Damon unwatched since he had returned last night, Damon should have been enraged at them for locking him up to starve, for taking his ring and yet he had been polite for Damon, strangely so. It wasn’t until after he had left the night before that Zach had noticed they had a conversation with any threat in it at all.

It seemed Damon meant his word when he promised Elijah not to harm him, it was strange to think that he could be trusted at all when the only thing Zach had known of Damon is entire life was that he brought death and dread in his wake, but he had seen the photos the way Damon had looked at his brothers in the few of them, the way tiny Sickly Elijah leaned into him like he was the sun in them.

He’s not thinking about how things could have changed if Damon had visited in his childhood before EJ had been sent away, maybe he could have helped Elijah before he was locked away.

None of that mattered now, EJ killed himself to escape the hospital Zach had left him in and now somehow Elijah was remembered and didn’t hate him.

So he ignored his instincts to watch his vampiric ancestor and decided to also take part in the unspoken truce. 

Damon was Stefan’s issue to deal with, Zach was going to work on helping his own cousin-brother-former brother, EJ.

He paused slightly as his phone rang suddenly, taking in the unknown number before he answered, sending an apologetic look towards the people around him that had jumped at the sudden noise.

“Zach?” Came a hesitant voice.

“Elijah.” he answered and smothered the memory of the first time Elijah had called him from the hospital back when he was a child that still wondered when he could come home, before Elijah had re-made himself EJ, bright, carefree and confident.

“Where are you?” Elijah asked

“At the public library, i was checking some thing i noticed from one of you older- lives” he answered, confused, if Elijah was at the house Damon would have told him unless Elijah didn’t trust Damon which would make Zach slightly more comfortable, but he didn’t think that was true given the way the pair had looked at each other.

“What do you mean?”

“You mentioned Bulgarian, Irish and Italian immigrants,” he explained looking back at his notes “i’m looking to find any places many of them could be found matching the dates we worked out.”

“Found anything?”

“A few places.” he replied but it was only the basics he didn’t want to get Elijah hopes up until he was sure they led to anything, “Why did you call?

Elijah hesitated, Zach could almost hear him biting his lip, unlike the many times before the hesitation wasn’t accompanied by the sound of EJ fiddling with the patient uniform. No doubt because his current clothes are aren’t the cheap hospital clothes. He remembered Elijah’s joy at the oversized jumpers he used to give him on his last few birthdays and Christmases.

“EJ” he called softly with a sigh,

“Can you hide my life before EJ?” 

“Why?” he asked, talking over the lump in his throat, what was bad enough for him to ask that. He had read the earliest memories from the Elijah’s notes, unconnected massacres and bloodbath, yet the life before EJ he wanted to keep hidden Elijah’s own words ‘it was too much as a kid’ and ‘Tortured to death by a vampire with a grudge.’ said completely without the horror it should have had.

I don’t want to think about it and i don’t want anyone to read it and see-

“If we don’t then how can we see if it helps.” he hated saying the words, even more when he heard the angry hiss as Elijah let out his breath. He couldn’t deny he also wanted to know why the little boy that used to follow him around the house as a child was apparently doomed before he was born, as much as he was going to regret it he wanted to know if there truly was nothing he could have done.

There was also the fact that if the vampire that had tortured him to death knew his first life-

“Just you.” Elijah voice pulled him out of his thought before they could go too far “You deserve a right to it as it affected you- your life with a mentally unstable-

“Elijah. It wasn’t your fault.” he told him, cutting the boy off before blamed himself anymore.

Nothing he’d read so far could be blamed on Elijah, just circumstances pushing him, like the orderly in the hospital. Elijah was always going to be the little boy that reached for his hand and insisted in sharing his presents, who had mistaken Mason Lockwood for a girl when they were introduced during the few founding family Elijah had gone to. 

“Maybe you can say that after you read what i was like in that life. Sorry i-

“I’ll lock it away once I get back, so no one else can read it and no matter what I read, it won't be your fault, none of this is.” he explained and ignored how much the final words echoed the ones he once told a shocked traumatised pre-teen EJ, after he realised what he had done to the orderly.

 It hadn’t helped then either.

[aluminumallium]

ACT 3 LIVE POST EXCEPT ITS NOT REALLY LIVE BC I POST IT AFTER BUT I WRITE IT AS IM WATCHING. SPOILERS. PRAY

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! okay lets go

AWW WAIT IS THAT EKKO AND JINX AT THE BEGINNING? SOOO CUTE

EKKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BOY I MISSED YOU! PANIC ATTACK :(

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT OH MY GOD

OMGGGGGGG H GJHBDSFJHBSDCHNISDBHJFCBHJSDFHJN OMG OMG time shenanigans HAHAHHAH YES. FUCK

ALL ATTENTION ON THIS RN. FREAKING IT

SO HE LIKE WENT TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AFTER GOING THRU THE ARCANE OR WHATEVER? HOLY FUCK THATS AWESOME

SHES SO CUUUTEEEE IM CRYING

MYLOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

HEIMERDINGER KNOWS OHHH FUCK IM RKFJKDIJFSHJFHKJISDFKHJ im going to freak out im freaingout. oh yes its the real heimerdinger ok ok. OH MY GOD HES BEEN THERE FOR A THOUSAND YEARS????????

PASSING OUT IM PASSING OUT IM PASSINGOUT. OLYMPIC LEVEL CRASH OUT GOING ON

WHERE THE FUCK IS HE 😭 SOMEONE GET HIM OUT. THIS IS SOMEWHAT WHAT I EXPECTED BUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE WAY DIFF

....? WHOIS THAT. thats not good. oh man no wonder hes so fucked up dude he ended up in like HOOOOLY FUCK. OH MY GOD VI IS DEAD. FUCK. dude just explain whats going on JUST EXPLAIN IT WTF. IS JAYCE ALIVE IN THIS ONE? IS THAT WHY HE DIDNT GO THERE???? HELP! holy fuck this is so awesome dude

jesus christ he ended up in apocalypse world holy shit. wow. wow. wow this is fucking insane. i cannot overstate how batshit this is

WHAT happened in this one this is freakin me out oh my gyatt Oh no. OH god theories are entering my brain rapid fire

save my boy he aint do nothing wrong 😭 OOO OUCH. WHO IS THAT YEOOOWCHHH

DUDE HE REALLY IS INSANE NOW JESUS CHRIST. HOW IS HE EVEN ALIVE. god hes so sexy like wow LIKE WOW. like wow. jesus christ

AWWWW 😭😭😭😭😭 THEYRE SO CUTE i love them so much dude its unreal. it really is an ideal world huh :(

SHE REALLY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 tiny tiny tiny tiny itty bitty arcane. time loop king!!!

masc men with long hair and middle parts. yup yup yup

AWWW FATHER SON LOVE 😭

WOW SILCO IS SEXY AS FUCK WOW.

POWDER SO CUTE!!!! HEHEHEE

the first 6 episodes i was like This feels a bit fast. this episode is THE PERFECT speed. NO they should. YES! YES!!!!! THEYRE SO SWEETUMS oh no my favorite guy. hows he doooing what is that. hey look its beautiful

thats not good. heimerdinger going hard as fuck.

is that him but dead? is that viktor but freaky. HE REALLY DID DO IT FOR VIKTOR WOW 😭 can i see him. please i really want to see him please PLEASE PLEAAAASE I ASKED SO NICELY.

HE SAID THE LINE HE SAID THE LINE! HE SAID THE LINE! holy fuck heimerdinger is gone. RIP save da world... my finale message...

YUUUP EPISODE 8. OMG MEL! GET OUT OF THERE MY BEAUTIFUL QUEEN!!!!! LETS GO

holy fuck where is she. this is so sick what OMG GLOWING EYES one of my favorite tropes heh..... bro shes in butt fuck nowhere. looking mighty fine beautiful woman. i love you mel i love youuuu <3

mel get out of there :( NO!! NO!!!!! girl she just turned you evil wtf

warwick lives...!...? get that dude out of there :/ viktor i miss you. girl fuck you ambessa. love you though shes so hot. EW GET OUT OF THERE NO!!!!!! THIS IS SO FREAKY THIS IS SO FREAKY. is isha really dead wow. :( loris youre so find

DAMN her hair is so long i never considered it. jinx i love you :( JAAAAAYCE!!!!! BEAUTIFUL KING!!!!!!! YOUR WIFE HAS ARRIVED!!!!!

DOESNT MATTER? STUPID. SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IDIOT OMFG BE NICE oh god WHAT WWHHAT. get out GET OUT OF MYT HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

THE BOYS ARE FIGHTINGGGGG. SO HAS YOUR MIND STUPID. .....? THIS IS SO SAD :( I MISS VIKTOR

him and his beautiful wife. omg other him and his beautiful wife. not convinced thats really sky lmfao

SISTERS😭!!!!! they love each other :( NO!!!!!!!!! NO DONT KILL YOURSELF 😭😭😭😭😭😭 OR WHATEVER SHIT YOURE GONNA DO

you will never be a passenger HMMM....

WAR!!!!!! AND SEX? WHENEVER THAT HAPPENS. my assumption is its cait and vi it just makes sense

makeout challenge wow. WOAH HERE IT IS. OHEREHERE IT IS HERE IT IS LETS GO LETS GO! LETS GO LESBIANS SHOUTS OUT!!!!!!

im out of my league. of legends HA.

ambessa pray for your life like damn

IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT EPISODE 6? WHY DID IT START AND END ON THE SAME SCENE IT DOESNT SEEM TO HAVE LOOPED THERE. oh girl what the fuck

warwick come hooome :(

HGNGG THE LINE stop ive been playing this shit on repeat. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS SO WEIRDDDD EW WHATS HAPPENING TO HIM

i hate it here WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT bro he just became ouppy shaped

LAST EPISODE im unwell btw.

WHERE THE FUCK IS EKKO 😭😭😭😭😭 BOY SAVE THE WORLD

wow she really is trying to kill herself EKKO!!!! YAY YAY. omfg girl youre abt to toast him

this is life is strange core . sorry

im so sad viktor is gone im fucked up. i miss him so bad I MISS HIM SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭 I MISS YOU VIKTOR IM SORRY I DIDNT LIKE YOU AS MUCH IN SEASON 1 (not that i didnt like him i just didnt like him as much as jayce. they could never make me hate you jayce)

HE SMIRKED A LITTLE? I THINK I JUST FELT MY SOUL LEAVE MY BODY

MUSIC IS NECESSARY FOR WAR BTW

NO SHES DEAD :( war is hell ugh ambessa is bad as hell she looks so good

WHAT IS THIS. oh my godLORIS NO!!!!!!!!! FUCK. WAR IS HELL

FUCKING SHITTTTTT DUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING WRONG FOR THEM

great. FUCK YOU AMBESSA FUCK YOU NOOO MADDIEEEEEEE FUCK YOUUUUUUUU YOU GOTTA KILL YOURSELF

YEAHHHHH FUCK YES FUCK YEAH GET HER ASS. WHERE IS EKKOOOOO

YESSSSS LETS GET IT JINX LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO

FUCK YEAHHH LETS GO LETS GO THIS IS SO HYPE HELL YES

YEAHHHH HER HAIR LOOKS FUCKIN SICK HEHAYAHAAA YES this is unreal. this is unreal how hype this is lets fucking go

THIS RANDOM GUY!!!!! SO SICK!!!!!!. uh oh where is he

THATS NOT GOOD. ANOTHER JAYCE AND VIKTOR FIGHT ITS ABOUT TO BE HYPE

HE LOOKS SO STUPID THIS IS UNREAL. i misss viktor so bad. fuck it all this is Not what i meant by warwick come home :(

THIS IS BAD NEWS. BEAT HER ASS CAITLYN. oh god warwick looks so fucking sick this is so insane. sorry my commentary is just THIS IS AWESOME i dont have a lot of thoughts except for that lmfao

his hair looks so dumb on that head lmfao WHAT IS THAT THING oh its like Oh thats not good. its like his uhh its like his in game hand thing. great he has the power to just turn it back on. stupid stupid stupid

cait is about to look so sick with an eye patch for real. MEL IS SO BADDDDD OH MY GODDDDD im obsessed DAMN SHE DIED had to happen.

shes so swag omfg how is this even possible

bro save the world from extinction PLEASE. i cant take this anymore THIS IS NOOOO GOOD GUYS. THIS IS BADGE EVEN

PAUSE i need to pause. how the fuck was viktors hand normal in the post extinction world if he looks like this. pls tell me

VIKTOR STOPPPPPP THIS ISNT YOU BAE oh fuck dude lmfao. this is not good. LOOK FAMILIAR??????? LOOK FAMILIAR?????? DID HE DO THIS ON PURPOSE I CANT TELL!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

he looks so fuckin stupid btw. just yelled i need to calm down

SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!!!! YES YES EKKO YES. HUGE. small. HUGE. small. SMALL SO SMALL LITERALLY TINY. HUGE???? HUGE???? HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCK DEEP BNREATHS DEEP BREATHS WHAATTTTT this hurts so bad LMFAO im going to hurt THAT SOUNDED SO BAD IM SORRY WHAT WHAT HWAHTHATHAWEHTHWATSHTASWEHSRTHNBSRTHSER

CRYING CRYING CRYING CRYIJNG CRYING HE LOOKS SO STUPID 😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

im cvrying my eyes out i need to kill myself

I AM FUCKING SHELL SHOCKED. I AM FUCKING SHELL SHOCKED

i thinkn warwick is really dead this time vi. i think hes really gone NOT HER TOO. fuck my life FUCK MY LIFE

nothing couldve prepared me for this. its over

at least his daughter is alive at least theres SOMETHING here what the fuck ever.

I FUCKING KNEWWWW SHE'D BE SO BAD WITH AN EYEPATCH LETS GO.

theyre so everything wow. wow. wow.

LETS HERE IT FOR THE JAYVIK SHIPPERS WE GOT CANON JAYVIK LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO all else banned. FUCK dude. my thoughts? none its so over. wow that was so fucking good. i didnt know it was possible to make a show this good. wow. YUP

[twosomeofcuteness]

Felt bad for teasing Celia about how they weren't going to be normal about amends and decided to watch it in solidarity. anyway here are da notes

I'm sorry the acting is non-existent here. What even is this

Fun fact that verse (the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want) was my mom's favourite :) and I hate that it was in the same scene as Angel :/

Buffy you're better off without that sad puppy dog

Twitchy???? Uh yeah the subject of Angel happens to be very traumatic for giles but let's not ignore the fact that you don't wanna talk to him about it because you feel guilty about everything that went down last year

"it must be the whole Angel killed his girlfriend and tortured him thing" I'm going to chew drywall

I HOPE HE HAS THE HOLIDAY BLUES FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY

You said the q word buffy that's your fault

Cordy </3

Willow shut up you did a bad thing let Oz get all his thoughts out (sweetie I love you but you fucked up!)

Okay cuties

Yes more faith gimme gimme

Well maybe you should kiss??? Might help you get over angel??

Buffy you can't invite your watcher (who I definitely didn't sleep with) to Christmas because he wouldn't want to come (it'd be awkward cause he and I fucked and you don't know that yet) -Joyce Summers

I'll take the dead tree, probably costs a whole lot less than any of those boring green ones

I hope you slept like shit Angel

Hi Faithhhh

Faith shut it say you'll go to Christmas dinner

Giles. Rolled up sleeves. Hot.

Ew Angels here fml

PUNCH HIM GILES

YOURE RIGHT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT GO BURN IN HELL

YESSSS THE CROSSBOW (But is it the same crossbow jenny shot him with because I'm sure he probably burned that one after everything that happened but I want it to be the same one and I want it to shoot angel)

I hope your dreams suck eat shit and die

You're right, angel, you should

Jennyyyyy

Oh gods the not touching almost touching but she can't actually touch him and it's not even actually her omigod I'm not okay

And when he turns and doesn't see her I'M CHEWING FUCKING DRYWALL HERE

Why couldn't we get jenny back instead of Angel

Thank goodness angel left

Oh ffs were in the past again

Wow it must be so hard for angel to have to live knowing he orphaned a little boy... probably way harder than it was for the little boy who got orphaned

JENNY STAY FOREVER PLEASEEE

Calendiles grandchildren :'(((

You might be over it Jenny but I'm not </3

My fucking heart

"I don't want to make you feel bad" well step aside then jenny cause I sure do. I'm ready to commit defenestration here

You know what would solve all of your problems right now? And save you having to ask your watcher for help with the vamp who tortured him and murdered the only woman he ever truly loved? Staking Angel.

IM SORRY A HALF CIRCLE WINDOW BEING VISIBLE WHEN BUFFY AND GILES ARE TALKING ABOUT ANGEL

I still don't know how we're supposed to feel bad for him

I'LL HURT HIM FOR YOU JENNY I'M OFFERING MY SERVICES

Jenny should be running her finger through giles' hair like that

Idc that it's a dream fuck off with that especially when jennys in this episode and she and Rupert can't have awesome sex, you know, on account of the fact that Jennys fucking dead!

Willow, sex won't solve problems. Not when said problems were cause by you cheating and you only just reconciled

Let him burn idc

LET HIM BURN

Oh buffy </3333

Let it Snow (after Angel burns)

Anyway all I want for Christmas is my jenny back and also for angel to burn

Ffs snow ruined angels death

I absolutely hate how the episode ends with them looking all couple-y like fuck off give me calendiles. Oh wait, you can't. In fact, you spent the ENTIRE EPISODE REMINDING ME THAT JENNY'S DEAD BECAUSE ANGEL FUCKING KILLED HER FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT ENDING

[joylinda-hawks]

Zhao Jin. Not being able to defend yourself is a bad feeling, isn't it? WOH, episode 33, part 6. GC's daughter continues to accuse ZJ. He explains that 30 years ago, Zhao Wen Da, the leader of the Lake Tai Sect, became seriously ill after losing his son. ZJ served him and took good care of him. Old Leader Zhao was touched, so he adopted him. In this way, ZJ took his first step on the road to glory. ZJ calls her a lying girl who came here to make fun of herself. GXL asks the audience why he brings up old events and adds that Jianghu, in front of all the characters, wants to ask ZJ why he hates her father so much. The girl accuses ZJ of murdering her father, taking away his position and tarnishing his reputation. She explains that her ZJ caused her father to torment himself throughout his life and he died with no hope of clearing his name. GXL asks if he did it because her father witnessed how miserable and pathetic ZJ was 30 years ago. The gathered heroes listen in silence to GXL's speech. GC's daughter adds that all eyewitnesses to GC's past died in suffering. He asks if it's a coincidence. ZJ asks the girl if she witnessed what she said. And the characters talk to each other. ZJ asks why it shouldn't be just a coincidence. GXL remains silent, but ZCL appears, introducing himself as the son of ZYS, the leader of the Mirror Lake Sect, and showing the letter to Master Ye at Chanming Mountain. ZCL explains that his father gave him this letter before he died and asked ZCL to deliver it to YBY. He adds that the letter shows that RX went crazy 20 years ago, and ZJ is to blame because he knew that the brothers argued about one of the fighting techniques, and they always resolved their disputes with a duel. ZJ secretly took GC's sword and smeared it with poison. ZZS hears that what he said is confirmed by another source. ZCL claims that the trick worked and RX went crazy, which was the beginning of all subsequent tragedies. ZCL concluded that the souls of the thousands of people who died in the Battle of Qingya Mountain should go to ZJ for revenge. ZJ laughs at the boy's words and accuses him of loving him so much, so how can he say that. ZJ says it's absurd. WKX, which has remained silent so far, claims that ZJ made a failed attempt to defend itself and it is an unpleasant feeling. ZJ looks at WKX with hatred. The network around ZJ is getting tighter. In addition to the accusation made by GC's daughter, there is also an accusation made by ZCL. ZJ didn't expect this. ZJ begins to understand that not only WKX, but also other people have set a trap for him, and it becomes more and more difficult for him to defend himself. ZZS discovers that ZCL confirmed his words about ZJ's past, so he must be proud of his student for deciding to tell the truth. WKX happily watches ZJ lose ground. He is the director of this show and is waiting for it to end. He knows that when it's over, he'll have to face ZZS and explain to him why he betrayed his soulmate. ZZH is still the master of micro-expressions and GJ is the master of beautiful, mischievous smiles.

[gregoftom]

sdfg sorry sorry ignore me fr but omg I forgot how exquisite the marvey angst is in 3x1. oh it's huge it's charged. insane. the hurt, the desire.

and AGAIN after harvey releases his hurt onto mike, mike has sex. and this time it's also by giving the exact honesty to her that he should have given to harvey. like, proxy much??? (and he Also feels the need to mention (be thinking about???) harvey while he's horny and trailing his hand between her legs?)

and omfg more read-behind-the-lines bi harvey propaganda. there's a whole backstory I am conjuring with his opponent this episode because come ON. "I'm sorry, Harvey. Not this time." "Is that what I said to you on Hazelton?" "That was a long time ago. We're not at the D.A.'s office anymore." "I didn't realize our bond had an expiration date." and "Harvey, look. If our bond can't survive me telling you no, then… It didn't mean much to begin with." like I'm sorry your BOND? and that sounds like a consent metaphor to me?? and the way there was flirtation and care and hurt there too, like. these boys fucked around at the DA's office. ANDthen, later scene between them, when he still won't budge for harvey, harvey throws out "Send Carolyn my love." when he leaves like HELLO? was she the other woman in this scenario, harvey?? annnnndd to top it off this is all while the new managing partner at the firm is gay and it's a little hush but harvey and him just know they just get it and each other. (and this is again me behind the lines ig but jessica basically implies to him that harvey might out him and he's just like...nah, because he's fucking clocked harvey I swear it, and yeah lo and behold harvey does no such thing he just shares a smile and head tilt when he tells him he knows. like. this is mlm/mlm solidarity up in here ok.)

andd omfg when harvey's telling scottie (they're not together. it's missed-their-chance trope, but they're great) about how he basically loved her at first sight. he thought she was beautiful, and then heard her smarts and realised her beauty was the second best thing about her. like -- as if that's not exactly how it went with mike fucking ross HELLO. sir you LOVE a beautiful smarty pants and you will love them at first sight goddamn you, you've got a type and a means. (AND in episode of all time 2x10, when harvey gets high with mike, he literally looks into mike's eyes and tells him that his dad believed in love at first sight. like HELLLLOOO.)

aaa and omg mike with the line at the end "I don't wanna be here if I'm not solid with Harvey." and literally giving up his newly gifted office just because maybe it might be one thing on a pile of many that might lead to harvey forgiving him. the boy's whole episode is devoted to wanting to win this man back and it's beautiful and it's tragic in the Sweetest way. and GOD the shots of just them Looking at each other. harvey wants him so bad ffs. (and like. rachel wanting mike to quit. but cue like six shots of mike gazing at harvey and doing everything he can to help harvey whether harvey accepts it or not. this boy is NOT about to quit harvey for anyyyyyything.) (and like. harvey would not be this hurt for anyyyyone ever. it's because he Loves mike. he loves him so bad.)

god god god I am Eating this up and can't wait for all I know is to come because the Love and the angst and the absolute ride or die of these two to each other is somehow only just getting started (and I can't wait for all I've Forgotten, going by how much of this one I'd forgotten and how Good that stuff was holy smokes). and with zero pressure I also hope you get to eat this good good food too at some point heheh

ouuughhhh omg i love that kind of shit like the very OBVIOUS parallels and shots and actions like this, that's some good stufffff omg. and yeah don't worry i will eat the food! when i get round to it i shall, i'm gonna watch ttoi soon and thennnn i will watch suits <3

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet, Episode 7 Recap Part 6: Not Spring, Love, or Cherry Blossoms

Ok, let’s tackle the next song from Episode 7 -- Not Spring, Love or Cherry Blossoms, originally by High4 and IU, and performed by three kind of underdog trainees. Click Read more or Keep reading or do whatever you gotta do, and let’s talk about this performance. 

At 1:18:19 of Episode 7, Huta calls up the next team, and everyone gushes over how nice they look. But the judges are worried, because these trainees are low skilled and/or low ranked.

They introduce themselves with some aegyo stuff, and almost immediately we cut back in time to rehearsal. So, as a reminder, our little sakura flowers are: 

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test /Challenge 1 /age final star level

Lee Da Eul (13) Replay /Danger - K /18 🚫

Bak Do Ha (24) My House (Blue) /Hot Sauce - K /20 🚫

Jung I Chan (52) Mirotic /Danger - K /20 ⭐⭐

When we saw them in episode six, MNET gave them exactly one minute of screen time and used most of it to mock their past performances. You probably recognize all of them, but if you don’t, you’ll be given a recap of how I-chan lived his nightmare on stage in episode 4 and how Bak Doha is lowkey the laughing stock of SK right now, but like, in a good way. 

It’s also important to remember how Lee Da Eul really came across like a jerk when he refused to give up his main rapper position in Danger, and implied that since he had chosen the team, that their purpose was to support him as he excelled. I didn’t take it well, and I get the impression that other people didn’t either. I don’t think, for the record, that this is evil editing. Lee Da Eul really said that, and all MNET did was show it. Up until that point he’d been their darling, and only benefited from their editing, so it would be weird for them to turn on him for no reason at all. Nope, he said that stuff.  

But as irritating as it was, and as irritated as I was at the time, I’ve made the choice to forgive DaEul. He’s just a kid, and being so highly ranked at the beginning made him feel a little big for his britches. I wouldn’t want to be held responsible for dumb shit I said when I was 18 or 19, that’s for sure. So, let’s see what DaEul does with his second chance.   

So yeah, we pick up with the rehearsal, and Onestar, the younger male vocal trainer, is openly mocking the team, sarcastically calling them The Avengers. The trainees have kind of no choice but to laugh along as they’re being insulted by the adults who they depend on. Sigh. Then we get a recap of all their past terrible singing. 

The judges ask how Bak Doha ended up with the killing part, and we go to a flashback-within-a-flashback: part distribution. I-Chan, who as we will learn really does have a lovely singing voice and at least some understanding of music, tries to make the best he can of the situation, and distributes the parts as fairly and reasonably as possible considering that neither of his teammates can really sing. He seems pretty relaxed in his confessionals -- he doesn’t expect much from his team, but is still trying to do his best. 

Their part distribution is super “fair” -- I-Chan and DaEual are Main Vocal and Main Rapper respectively, and Doha has the killing part. Doha jokes that he’s happy to finally be able to put a star sticker on his shirt, after being a no-star this whole time. But if you look closely at his confessional he’s not wearing a star sticker. Hmm.

Back to rehearsal, where the boys run through the song. Wow, sometimes we catch a few moments of I-chan singing and it’s really great. He’s wearing an eyepatch, and when we see him in the interviews that eye looks a little red and swollen. I guess it’s just a sty, but those usually take two weeks to heal and this one seems to heal faster than that, because he doesn't end up performing with an eyepatch on.

Anyway, the judges don’t have much nice to say about their singing or performing, that we see. Instead, the judges focus in on part distribution. The boys say that they distributed the parts based on who they thought would do each part best. Bobby gives the confusing advice: “I think it’d be better to focus on your own color.” What the heck does that mean? I assume they talked more about it because it seems that the boys understand, but I sure don’t. 

In any case, the upshot seems to be that they need to redistribute the parts. They take the killing part from Doha and give it to Daeul, and Doha kind of cheerfully mourns the loss of the only star sticker he ever got. 

Then they give the main rapper position to Doha, taking it from Daeul. It seems like a good trade, really. When there’s only three of you on stage, the killing part doesn’t matter nearly as much. 

Also, Bak Doha seems like a really put-together guy with a good sense of proportion. He doesn’t get super upset about losing the killing part, but he’s honest enough to admit that it bugs him a little. It’s the worst when someone is like “really it’s fine!” and you know it is NOT fine. Instead, he makes it into a joke so people feel comfortable but it’s not this *secret*. 

In the interview, Daul murmurs that he’ll do his best with the Killing Part. Really, he’s barely audible. He always was kind of soft-spoken in interviews, but it’s kind of ridiculous at this point. Why are you whispering, Daul? Though I think we’ll sort of figure it out as the episode progresses.  

Now Bak Doha needs to write a rap, and says it’s hard, like he’s gathering dragon balls. I’m not making that up -- that’s what he says. Aww, Doha, why are you so lovable? Please go into acting. You can bring some of that lovability to set. Imagine Doha as the lead in a rom-com drama? I can see it. In any case, Doha stays up late at night to try to write his rap -- aww! Well, I never said he wasn’t hard working, because he obviously is. 

At dress rehearsal, the stage is decorated to look like a cute living room, and Doha jokes, “in the end, we ended up at My House.” All the judges laugh. I appreciate the self-deprecating humor -- I really hope it helps ward off embarrassment. I don’t want either of the Houses to wake up in the middle of the night for 10 years, feeling embarrassed. That’s what I do. Just, everything I’ve ever done, ever, on a random rotating carousel of embarrassment that spins past my eyes every time I try to sleep. Sigh. 

The judges also note that they like Doha’s speaking voice -- again, it’s almost as if Doha should go into ACTING? Doha’s rapping is basically what used to be called “sing talking.” As ph-1 notes, it’s utterly without swag, and yet somehow it’s nice to listen to. It’s the male version of the way Dahyun from Twice and Irene from Red Velvet rap. 

The performance

Link

The song basically is about someone who has barely noticed that it’s spring -- everyone around her is obsessed with the cherry blossoms and spring and love, but she’s alone, so she doesn’t want to talk about those things. So the lyrics are actually a little sad, as much as everyone implies that the song is relaxing or sweet.

Doha’s rap per this video:

There was nothing special, the drama ending was obvious anyway. It’s like a trauma repeated every day. What story do you want in the season ending soon? Not spring, love, or cherry blossoms, stop talking nonsense. Ay the world is second to none, not getting tired of it, spring full of warmth like a sweet dream, I need that, that it’s you.  

My take:

First off, stylist noona, you know that quote by Coco Chanel, “Before you send your trainees out on stage, take one giant bow off of them”? I think that’s how the quote goes, right? Anyway.

My goodness, but I-chan has a great voice. It’s textured, cleanly on pitch, just nice to listen to. He must have been sick or something during the first challenge mission, because it doesn’t even seem like the same person singing. He still has the same basic problem, though: his facial expressions. I-chan doesn’t have to smile like TaeRae to be a good stage performer, but he has to make eye contact with the camera and smile at least some of the time. He looks either kind of blank or sort of unhappy the whole time, and often turned away physically from the audience and camera. He either needs to practice facial expression in the mirror, or he needs to look into singing for OSTs or something. But really, he does have a great voice, and I’m so glad he had this second chance to show everyone what he can do. Good work, I-chan. 

DaEul and Doha have both improved their vocals markedly since when we first met them. It’s really a testament to the power of good vocal instruction that Doha can even find the note, since early on he really showed signs of being completely tone deaf. Neither is someone whose voice I’d specifically seek out to listen to, but both did a decent job. Doha’s talk-rapping works in its own way, which again shows why he should go into acting. And DaEul is well suited to this lighter, cuter concept. 

I think if I’d had that A/B button thing to press, I would have pressed A for all of them, since they all did what they set out to do. If I could only pick one, it’d be I-chan, of course. 

The edit: 

The edit is kind to all of them. The reactions from the judges, trainees, and audience all convince you that they’re good. Also, I love how LipJ just straight up wants to boink almost all the trainees. Get down with yourself, LipJ. 

The voting:

Oh, here’s where it happens. 

So, they’re going to reveal the third place person first, and when they see that the vote count for it is only 387 votes, Daul says, “It think it’s me.” 

Aww, jeez. 

The show doesn’t address it at all, no one actually says it out loud, but we, watching at home, know that the in-studio audience was just punishing him for that shit he pulled during Danger, and oof, and you can see that he’s just sort of… lifeless about it. Like, this is what’s happening, and he can’t do anything about it, now that everyone hates him. He just has to deal with it. His fall from grace was so hard and so sudden that it must feel almost unreal to him.

And you can see that both I-chan and Doha are on his side -- they both probably kind of knew that this would happen and they both are here to support him. Aww, poor kid. 

I don’t really follow BP news or gossip online because I’m usually behind and I don’t like to get spoiled, and the news will just pop up on my phone randomly if I start reading stuff about it online, so it’s just better to stay away. But I assume a lot of people felt the way I did when I was recapping Danger, and now they all hate Daeul. It kind of makes sense now why he’s been so subdued over this episode. That’s gotta really, really hurt, no matter whether he “deserves” it or not. I don’t know when anyone really “deserves” to be dogpiled by strangers on the internet. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t super kind to him in my recaps, but I also wasn’t sending him death threats. Jeez, people. 

I don’t hate Daeul. I hate how he behaved, and still strongly believe that that was not evil editing.  But I don’t hate him. I’m not that sorry that he fell in the rankings, because he isn’t as skilled as the other trainees, and if there is only a limited number of seats available, then I’d rather that they go to someone more deserving. But I do feel sad that the backlash he got was almost certainly not appropriate for his "crime." I don't know him, but it looks like he's internalized what happened and hopefully learned from it. I hope it doesn't haunt him forever.

In his interview, he says, “really, I…”, then exhales. Then the editors put him in slow motion for half a second so they can get a clean cut before he starts to speak again. I don’t know what he would have said, but whatever it was, MNET has decided not to let us hear it.

I do know what his pinned comment on his fancam says, though (filtered through google translate, of course): 

hello!! This is 🌕 Lee Da-eul 🌕 from the ""Spring is here but why am I alone"" class who came to take an introduction to love studies other than spring love and cherry blossoms!

First of all, thank you so much to all of you who came to see my fancam, which is still lacking! I have only this moment to tell my story to those who like me, so I think every word is precious to me!

Last time, I mainly listened to rap on BTS seniors' Danger stage, so this time, 'You can do vocals on a sweet and cute stage!' In order to make you think, I chose a stage other than spring, love, and cherry blossoms!

I promise myself every day that I only want to show a good side of myself, but there are things that are not delivered to the fans the way I want, so I feel bad that both the fans have had a hard time. I promise to always show my true self, and I would be grateful if the fans would clear up any misunderstandings and trust me!

Thanks to those who believe in me and love me as I am, I think I can endure and keep running! In order to repay that expectation, I will think only of you, think about, practice, and work hard for you! Haha, are you too lazy! I'm sorry that I only talked about myself too much!

Even if it's lacking, I will continue to make Lee Da-eul better than before!

Thank you with all my heart to all the people who support me who take care of my life. Make sure to get a good night's sleep, eat well, and eat a little late-night snack..! Condition management is really important..! Until the day we see you again next time, I hope you are healthy and full of good things! If it's short, it's short, if it's long, thank you for reading the long article! i love you!!

Bak Doha’s comment on his own fan cam is:

hello everyone ! I am Bak Do-ha, a class of 22, who is going to see our cherry blossoms 🌸 who is retaking the Introduction to Love Studies class this semester. I'm writing this at the point where it's been less than 5 hours since I finished the stage, not just in the spring of love and cherry blossoms, and the memory of meeting you guys is still vivid. The memory of today will never be forgotten in the future. Thank you guys 🤍

To be honest, I had a lot of worries while preparing for this mission. Uh,,, I always had a lot of worries, but this time I think it was a bit harsh. Starting from worrying about whether I can join this mission without being eliminated, what position and what song should I choose to show you a better image... Among them, I think I was most concerned about my own musical talent. I want to do well, so I'm putting in a lot of effort, but to be honest, I'm not good at dancing, singing, or rapping haha,,,🥲 So, even if I survived, I was really worried about whether I would be able to solve the given mission well. While I was spending time thinking about it, I was so thankful that I was able to prepare for the 2nd mission with an undeserved ranking, and I chose the song ‘Not Spring, Love, Cherry Blossoms’.

I thought I could best express this song with a warm atmosphere, and the dance seemed to show a little bit of growth in the first mission, Hot Sauce, so this time I wanted to show you singing and rapping. So while preparing for this stage, I practiced singing hard and wrote rap lyrics, so I pressed down the message I wanted to convey to you all. But writing rap lyrics was a lot harder than I thought... ,I felt the pain of creation for the first time😂 It took me 3 days to write 8 words in an attempt to convey a message with a sense of rhythm and rhyme.

We successfully showed our growth in dancing, singing, and rapping, so even if we get eliminated now, it's not okay,,,! I want to survive more and show you more diverse sides..!

Anyway, from the 3rd mission, only your choices determine whether or not to survive, and the song is also selected, so I'm thinking that in the 3rd mission, I have to show you what you want to see! (I want to sing a song with a sexy mood. Whisper whisper🤫) If you are curious about what I will show you on the 3rd mission stage, I think you can vote for Bak Do-ha on Mnet Plus.😉

Lastly, I am very, very grateful to those who came to see the performance today. Thanks to your support, I gained a lot of motivation☺ I am really grateful to those who couldn’t come today and to those who support me from afar!-! Then I hope to see you again next time and I will finish writing this article. I love you guys sincerely :)

I-chan’s comment is:

Hello Star Creators!!!! I am Jeong Yi-chan, a class of 23, who took the Introduction to Love Studies class this semester! first!!! Thank you so much for coming into my fancam video 🙇‍♂ How did you see the stage "other than love this spring?" It was a stage that was all the more meaningful because it was a stage where I was able to barely survive with 52nd place at the last ranking announcement ceremony! I failed to manage my condition in the first contest last time, so I only wanted to show a better image in the second contest, and I was also very worried. but !! Thanks to Doha and Daul who are proud together, and to the star creators who believe in us!!! I was able to overcome it with strength!! I was really happy for about 3 minutes while performing this stage and received a lot of good energy! thank you. I really prepared with the thought that this was the last stage, and I want to tell you that even if it was the last stage, I really enjoyed being with you all! Also, if you listen to our song!!!! I wish you happiness! therefore! Always, I hope you don’t get sick and only be happy and full of fun things. I hope that the coming spring will be filled with only love. ఇ

Anyway, back to the episode. The winner is, of course, I-chan, with 730 votes. It’s well deserved -- this was a vocal performance and he brought really beautiful vocals. 

Hey, wait, check it out - that’s the same window with the set of broken blinds on it that we see in the judges’ room. So apparently they use this room to film the judges reactions, and then later on rearrange it to cram all the trainees in and have them take turns facing their fates. MNET, you keep showing us this huge building -- what are all those rooms for? Are they just pajama storage, or what? Anyway.

I-chan gets the final word, interviewing that this performance was an opportunity to make up for the shame of the previous performance. I think it was a little more than that, I-chan. I don’t really love the song -- it’s pretty, but just a little boring for my taste -- but I’m going to seek out your music and give it a shot. 

As always, thanks for reading! Have a good day, maintain your condition, and I'll see you in the next one (Butterfly).

[absolutebl]

Ocean Likes Me - Noodles & Mismatched Dreams

quick pitch 

Ocean Likes Me 

Korea, May 2022 on Viki

 8/10  

Main Tropes: opposites attract, grumpy/sunshine, impossible dreams, gay chef 

Stars Kpop’s best known out gay singer, Holland, and Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger). Noodle shop! Broken dreams! 

This is a solid little KBL, with a good premise and cast. Manic pixie dream boy can get old fast but when contrasted with awkward grumpy chef? It’s a tasty combo that elevates both ingredients. Holland is a charming screen presence - baby boy is HYPNotiC. And while I wasn’t entirely sold on the chemistry, these two did give us some very good kisses and sweet domesticity. I grinned through most episodes and I didn’t even mind the standard KBL 1 year separation at the end because it felt so true to the characters. 

It was Tommy’s wardrobe that really clued me in as to what was going on with this show. His jumpers are full of rough shaggy textures (mohair, faux fur, chunky knits) and stormy-beach colors: sandy browns, blues, and grays. Not necessarily colors you normally associate with an ocean, but the colors that really are there on a cold northern beach in particular. 

We are left wondering if Tommy is meant to be an actual boy or if he is instead a representation of the ocean. Is this actually about Ba Da learning to love himself? (Since bada means ocean).

The title of the show, Ocean LikeS Me (BaDa - the ocean - falling in love with Tommy) versus the title of the song Tommy writes, Ocean Like Me (I am the ocean). Is this contrast intentional, I wonder? Or am I reading too much into that one S?

Tommy is like a piece of beautiful driftwood that has been tossed upon the shore, soon to be swept away again on the next tide. We aren’t surprised when he leaves, we aren’t surprised that he is both capricious and consistent. He may or may not be the spirit of the sea, but either way he embodies both its relentlessness and its transience.

The sparse coldness permeating this show in contrast to the cozy domesticity it depicts when the boys are together reminded me of something out of Scandinavian film. This whole series is permeated by a sense of winter. The lighting and style is exactly the opposite to the warm atmospheric feel we got from Cherry Blossoms After Winter. These are, in a way, two different ends of the spectrum of BL that Korea produces yet they both embody the precision and in the stiffness of KBL.

Watchers of KBL are often left with this persistent idea that we are missing something all the time, something the characters are doing just off screen, or in between episodes. We missed it but Korea also didn’t WANT to show it to us because they find it too painfully intimate to portray.

This absence colors all KBL with a certain wistfulness. There’s so much left unsaid. But also un-filmed. All the scenes that would be considered key in Thai BL, are left out. 

But, for me, Oceans Likes Me managed to justify this aspect of itself in a way other recent BLs have not (I’m looking at you: Love Class). We never see Tommy and Ba Da actually become boyfriends, they just... suddenly... are. It’s as inevitable as the ocean. There is no confession scene, there’s no first time, there’s just THEM. 

And then, just as quickly Tommy is swept away and there is no them at all.

Or perhaps I’ve been in too many relationships with artists?

I understand the premise of this ending (unlike most of the arbitrary Kdrama 11th hour separations) which is: sometimes you can’t just support someone else’s dreams, you must part in order to pursue your own dream. It’s not a lack of love that ends the relationship, it’s conflicting life goals. (This hit me pretty hard, actually, since one of the great loves of my life is a sunshine person whom I had to leave behind: not for lack of love, but conflicting ambition.)

I was happy (and a little surprised, frankly) that they brought it back around and ended with the boys together again. We actually didn’t have the right to expect and HEA from this kind of narrative, I’m so glad they knuckled under the BL yoke and gave it to us. 

RECOMMENDED

(source)

[hotwings0203]

Guys I’m having another Bakugo brainrot

Tw: bullying, noncon, nonconsensual peeping, manipulation

Remember that one episode of MHA where the class goes to the sauna and M*neta tries to check da girls out over the wall?

Imagine the same scenario, but years later when they’re all older

The class wanted a reunion, just to relax and blow off some steam

You’re with the girls, and you all lay back in the hot water reminiscing about the older days when everyone was still getting the hang of their own quirks

Mina brings up this exact same scene but years ago.

“Ohmigosh, do you guys remember the last time we came in our first year here and Mineta totally tried to get a peek at us?”

“Ugh, I hope Iida is keeping a good hold on him right now,” Ochacko giggles, kicking her feet up to rest on a rock

You hum in agreement, tilting your head back to rest against the wooden wall separating you and the boys.

As it was, Uraraka was almost spot on with her hopes. Except, Iida and Tokoyami were out getting refreshments for the rest of the boys, leaving the remaining group to their own plot.

Which was lead by Mineta, of course, who had the brilliant idea to spy on the girls, just like they almost did years back.

“Guys, come on, please they’re right there!” He practically salivates, wildly gesturing to the tall wooden wall in front of them.

Most of them shift uncomfortably and groan about him being a creep as usual, but the rest stay silent.

Mineta takes their lack of outright refusal as fuel to keep blabbering.

“Look, we almost got away with it back then-“

“-You mean you got away with it, we didn’t do shit. And you didn’t exactly get off scot-free, Kota completely demolished your attempts and you landed ass down on Four-Eyes’ face,” Bakugo drawls, leaning his head backwards and looking up at the obsidian sky. The boys laugh, remembering the ridiculous event.

The night is cool, the stars littering the inky atmosphere take the pressure off of Bakugo’s lungs. For weeks now they’ve been training like dogs, battling each other and even minor villains for extra practice of their quirks. This trip was supposed to be a leisure getaway, not a free porno.

But the grape-headed perv is insistent, scoffing and waving the blond’s quip off like some annoying fly.

“You know, there’s something in it for you too, Bakugo. I’ve seen the way you look at Y/N.”

This causes a murmur and a couple of light beers towards the blond, who in turn snarls and ignites his hand to quell the commotion. All of them had an inkling that Katsuki Bakugo had finally set his sights on some poor girl, and that was you. It was such a rare sight to see his face flush slightly when you walked past him, the way he stuttered over his words a bit when you two would be conversing amongst the same group, and best of all, when they would see how he would excuse himself to the bathroom or locker room occasionally when your hero suit would tear in certain places after battles.

“Shut the fuck up 3’2, unlike you I don’t need to ogle at those brain dead bimbos.”

“Oh? I didn’t realize you thought of Y/N as a ‘brain dead bimbo’, Bakugo, I’ll be sure to let her know how you feel” Mineta grinned maliciously, and the boys ‘oooo’ed at the jab.

Bakugo’s voice caught in his throat.

“You wouldn’t,” he growled, rising slightly out of the water.

“I already know you’ll kill me afterwards, but I’m prepared for the repercussions if you don’t help...cooperate here,” Grapehead inspected a cuticle and feigned a yawn.

“Come on Bakugo, it’s not like it’s gonna hurt anyone! Well keep this to ourselves,” Denki chimed in a little too eagerly.

“Yeah, I mean, we’re only asking for your and everyone’s support so that we can focus better on training y’know? A little fun never killed anyone.” Sero threw his arm over Kirishima’s shoulder, who blushed at the whole ordeal but kept silent all the while.

Katsuki looked around. Slowly, others were starting to really listen in and look interested at the outcome of Mineta’s plan. Surely a little peeping wouldn’t be too bad would it? And plus, it was only a one time thing.

Shoto was faring the same way as Kirishima, quiet and maybe embarrassed at what they were planning on doing, but no outright refusal. Even Deku had a weird longing glint in his eye, the same kind he would get when he used to fawn over All Might.

He thought about it for a minute more, a chance to see you, naked, honest, and pure, splashing around with your friends as you let your femininity dangle as it pleased.

“Do whatever the hell you want. I’m not taking blame if the bird and glasses come back, though.”

Hushed cheers and excited murmurs erupt from around the spring, and they huddle together to form a plan.

A couple minutes later, the boys were grouping around the wooden panels. Todoroki had burned a hole into the soft wood, and sero had used his transparent tape to cover it up so that the girls couldn’t see it from their side.

And there they were, completely bare, hair flowing, curves showing, voices mature and high pitched giggles emanating from around the water and bank.

Bakugo seeks you out immediately after the hole is made, shoving his way through the crowded bodies much to the amusement of others. But he doesn’t care, all he wants at the moment is to see you in your most honest element.

He doesn’t have to look long, because you’re right there, you’re right in front of them, only a few meters away. Your back is facing them, but the sight of your smooth, naked back and the round curve of your ass squishing against the rocks underneath you is enough to make Bakugo’s cock bob painfully above the water. It’s not too hard to hide his erection since the boys’s attention is elsewhere at the moment.

Your hair is open, and he wants nothing more than to feel it in his hands, run his fingers though your scalp and pull so hard that your neck is snapped back, he wants to know what kind of noises you’ll make for him, would you sound shrill and high pitched or would you wail and bellow for him to let go?

They can hear the girls talking amongst themselves, the hole in the wall makes their voices more audible and clear.

“Quit playing coy, Jirou, we know you’ve got your eye on someone,” Hagakure’s body is nowhere to be found as usual, but her chipper voice rings out from the middle of the hot spring.

Jirou is a few feet away from where you sit, her body also being shown for everyone to see. Bakugo glances at Kaminari to confirm his suspicion, but gags and quickly looks away when he gets an eyeful of his friends’ erect cock.

Not that Bakugo himself has room to talk, though.

“I mean, not really, it’s not a big deal.” The ravenette shifts and hides her head from the rest of girls’ cooing.

“Uh huh, sure. You’re not fooling anyone Kiyoka, I’ve seen the way you look at Denki. You two can’t keep your eyes off each other, it’s cute,” you purr, and Bakugo holds himself back from shoving the other guys out of the way just so that he can hear your voice the best.

Squeals and sounds of splashing fill the air, and Sero and Kirishima whisper excitedly and clap their red-faced friend on the back. Denki can’t keep the 50K watt smile off his face, and even Bakugo grunts and knocks shoulders with him, letting him know that he was happy for the human charger.

But then Jirou claps back with her own snarky observation, and the boys fall hush at the new revelation.

“Alright, you wanna talk about ogling Y/N? Then tell me, how’s Deku doing?”

“Or Bakugo, too,” Mina adds slyly, and now all the girls’ attention, as well as the boys’, is on you.

Bakugo felt like he had whiplash. He would’ve been elated, on Cloud 9 even to hear that maybe you had something for him too, had shitty Deku’s name not have been thrown in there too.

And he looks around wildly for the green haired freak, the freckles dusted across the expanse of his face even more prominent from the deep blush quickly forming, his scarred hands holding the sides of his face shaking in awe and gleeful shock.

But the rest of the boys aren’t as oblivious to how Bakugo seethes at his rival’s joy, from the way the water gets hotter from his quirk sparking underneath the rippling waves. Kirishima scoots closer to his friend and gently lays a hand on his shoulder as if to say, calm down, man. Not right now.

And so the hothead leaves it for the time being, opting to hear your response.

“I-it’s really nothing, they’re both just good classmates like the rest of the guys,” and although your back is turned to them, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re embarrassed too, your leg skittishly bouncing in front of you is making your ass jiggle from the back, much to the delight of the salivating boys.

Bakugo wants to spill blood when he suddenly realizes your body is being shown for the rest of these dogs to see

The girls start teasing you, your splutters being drowned out by their playful accusations.

“Come on L/N, whose cuter?”

“Dont act all coy now, I know how nervous you get when you’re all close to Bakugo. I mean I don’t blame you, have you seen his muscles? He could crush someone’s head with those things!”

“Yeah, but have you seen the way she giggles when Deku starts his mumbling tangents? That’s a classic crush right there.”

Bakugo is getting desperate to hear your answer now, some of the boys have left, feeling like they had their full of excitement for the night. They saw some tits and ass, heard some gossip, end of story.

The only ones remaining were Bakugo and his gang, as well as IcyHot and Shitty Deku.

Shitty Deku, who seemed equally eager to hear your response.

It pissed him off that he wasn’t getting the message to fuck off, even after all the growling and death stares he was receiving from his childhood friend.

But he guesses after a lifetime of dealing with it, it doesn’t scare Deku as much as it does anymore.

Maybe he’ll have to amp it up, later

“W-well I mean both of them have their own respective...flaws and strengths I guess..sometimes Deku can be kinda hard to talk to ‘cuz he’s so shy, but Bakugo can be a real jerk at times, too.”

You trail off, and Bakugo scoffs to himself. Him? Flaws? Those two words didn’t go well in one sentence together, but nonetheless he continues to listen. He wouldn’t refute the notion of him being an asshole, he wasnt that delusional.

“And yeah, I mean Bakugo definitely intimidates me sometimes with how aggressive he can be, but Deku is definitely getting up there in terms of physical prowess. But in terms of who I like, I’d have to say-“

“Midoriya! Bakugo! What are you two doing over there?”

Iidas voice booms across the water, and all 6 of the boys jump back, startled at the intrusion.

“No, wait-“ Bakugo hisses, clawing his way towards the hole to hear the rest of what you had to say, but Sero and Todoroki shove him back and patch the hole up with fire and tape, shutting off your confession.

Deku waves his arms around wildly, stammering some excuse of dropping his towel in the spot where they all were sheepishly gathered. They eventually waded their way over to where Tokoyami had set the drinks down, but the blond was shaking with hot rage despite the cool refreshment that was shoved into his hand by a wary Kirishima.

“Don’t sweat it dude, it’s not like her and Midoriya are gonna da-“

“Finish that sentence and I’ll blast both your and his head off,” he glowers at the redhead, shorting a dark look to where an all-too-happy Deku was chatting with Todoroki, as if they hadn’t been drooling over their naked classmates merely a couple minutes ago.

Kirishima backs off with raised hands in surrender, leaving Katsuki to mull over the situation by himself.

You couldn’t seriously be interested in that green haired freak, right? I mean he could barely talk to a girl without tripping over his own damn tongue, for fucks sake.

Not that he was any better himself. He failed to acknowledge the times where you had merely asked him for an extra pencil, when he snapped at you for being such a fuckin’ dumbass that you couldn’t even remember to bring your own shit. He had done that out of pure impulse, but he regretted it the moment he saw your face fall, his heart clenching at the sight

He’d have to show you that he was the better option, regardless of if you wanted it or not.

And so when they had all gotten out of the water and gotten ready for food, Bakugo already knew what he had to do.

You were all eating outside in the camp pavilion, each at their own separate tables. He was sitting with the boys, all of them joking around and throwing food at each other while he was staring you down.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. How could you expect him to, after he had seen half of you bare already? It was sinful almost, the way you were completely in the dark about what he had seen and heard, while he himself was fantasizing about what you looked like and felt like on the front.

So when Deku came by your table, no doubt also having the same conversation of the springs in mind, wanting to get closer to you, Bakugo felt his sanity snap.

The fork he held in his hand started melting in his ignited hand, steam curling from his palm. He watched as the green-eyed fuck made successful shitty attempts to make you laugh, his eyes trained on where you gently laid a hand on his shoulder after something he said that made you throw your head back and howl with glee.

“Hey man, your fork-!” Kaminari yelped, pointing at the disfigured mess of metal in his friend’s steaming hand.

“Huh?” Bakugo was pulled out of his irate daze, and he quickly dropped the fork when he saw what he unconsciously did.

They all looked at him for an uneasy minute after noticing the expression on his face, no doubt understanding he was furious about being compared to Deku once again in front of you.

“Look, Bakugo, don’t really take what Y/N said to heart. We don’t know who she actually likes, and Midoriya’s just her friend...” but Sero trails off hesitantly after glancing in your direction, seeing Deku’s dreamy expression as your hand still continues to rest on his shoulder.

“Just let her come to you, yeah? You don’t wanna force anything on her, that’ll make her really uncomfortable-“

-“Shut the fuck up Shitty Hair, and mind your own damn business,” Bakugo interjects, abruptly unscrewing his drink and standing up, unable to lose you to some broccoli- headed bug-eyed fuck.

He stiffly walks across the pavilion to where you two sit, and feigns a swig from his bottle. Your focus is still on Deku, so you don’t notice him approach until he comes up behind you two and ‘trip’s, falling forward and strategically spilling the liquid all over Deku’s back and your front.

You squeal as your blouse is drenched, and Deku shoots up from his seat to grab some napkins while searching for the perpetrator.

“What the- Kacchan?”

“Oops.”

Bewildered, you look at the two while dabbing the wet splotches on your shirt, Mina and Tsu jumping into action to help you.

The boys exchange a weird look, and although Bakugo gave his version of an apology, he doesn’t look very sorry. In fact, if you saw it right he looked almost...smug? With a bit of anger?

Deku wasn’t any easier to understand either. His voice was lilted as usual while he grabbed napkins, but his gaze never left his childhood friends’ and his eyes weren’t exactly the big doe-eyes you had grown fond of.

They were darkened, and narrowed as they bored into Bakugo’s eyes. Neither one of them was looking away from each other, and there was a weird tension in the air that everyone could sense.

But you couldn’t focus on that right now, you had to go and wash up.

“I gotta change and maybe take a shower, I can feel it sticking to my skin,” you scrunch your nose in disgust and tell Mina as you stand to leave. Deku offers to walk you, but you wave him off kindly.

As you pass by Bakugo, you can feel his eyes rove up and down your body, very obviously staring at the way your white shirt clings to your chest from the liquid, sending chills up your spine.

But he doesn’t come after you, not yet.

It’s only after everyone has finished up from their dinner and headed off to bed almost 20 minutes later that the showers finally, finally warm up enough for you to dip a hesitant toe in.

Curse the old pipes.

*******

He watches you from the dark, the only light you’re provided with is the dim emergency light from the rusty bulb, the camp counselors having been shut the facility’s lights off merely a half hour ago. But you were stubborn in waiting for the water to warm up so you were left alone in the showers, shifting uncomfortably in your sticky wet clothes.

And then miraculously you get up for the umpteenth time to check the temperature of the water, and it’s finally deemed appropriate for you when you sigh in relief and start taking your shoes off.

He hides in the door partition, his cock hardening slowly as he thinks of you alone with just him and his mercy. You were going to pay for almost breaking his heart and prancing around with stupid fucking Deku instead.

But asides from his rage, he still liked you, a lot. He wanted you to want him as much as he wanted you, so he decided to try and attempt to make your first time with him as gentle and as special as he could in the dirty cabin showers.

Bakugo waits with bated breath for the right moment, and the second your hands grip the end of your shirt to pull it up, he slowly emerges from the dark.

“You know, I’m glad you came here alone, at night. It’s almost like you wanted this.”

You jump violently at the low voice coming from seemingly nowhere, and you wildly look around for the source until you see him...coming at you slow from the inky abyss of the room, like a predator stalking his prey.

His figure seems to loom even larger than he actually is, the shadows of his tall body bouncing off the walls and grazing over the top of your head. He seems to be in no rush, taking his time with his hands in his pockets, eyes flashing dangerously at you as he stalks forward until he’s backed you up against the deteriorating wall, chest to chest with you.

“W-what the hell, Bakugo,” you stammer nervously. “This is the girls room, you can’t be here-“

And the hand you raise to push him away is caught in his calloused ones, your other wrist is quickly seized as well and slammed above your head. You cry out in pain and try kicking out, but he wedges a bulky knee in between your thigh and shoves his face mere millimeters away from yours, a mean leer adorning his normally-attractive face.

“What, I can’t be here? And here I was thinking that you almost liked me. But oh, I forgot, Deku’s your favorite, right?” The grip on your wrist tigthens and his leg flexes from in between your thighs.

You squirm and sob, about to ask what the hell he was talking about-

Oh.

Oh no.

He sees the understanding pass over your face, and he laughs cruelly at the horror that comes with it.

“You heard me? How?”

“Not just heard. I saw you, too.”

He lets his eyes drop from your neck, to your chest, and then to the juncture between your legs which was being massaged by his knee.

Tears well up in your eyes as you realize he was watching you this entire evening in the springs. How he got away with it, you didn’t want to even know.

“I saw your hair open for the first time, and not in that stupid hairdo you always do for school.”

He trails his hand softly up the sides of your body and up your neck until he reaches his big hand into your scalp. You whimper and gasp as he laces his fingers through your locks, seeming to caress you but then harshly yanking your head back so you had no choice but to look at him head on.

“I saw your ass pressed up against the rocks, and I wished it was up against my cock instead.”

He removes his hand from your hair and snakes it down to your bottom, kneading and slapping it lightly. You writhe even harder now, too scared to make a noise in case he hurts you even worse, just wanting him to get the hell off of you.

“But I didn’t see the front of you. I imagined what you would look like with tears streaming down your face while I was stuffing you full of me”

He plays with the edge of your shirt, a dark look in his eye as he plays with you. You try to budge your hands but to now avail, only serving in annoying him and shoving his knee up further into your crotch. The pressure on your clit is immense, and your legs start shaking as you’re forced to be suspended almost midair on his knee.

“Take this off,” he says softly, the rasp catching in his voice.

“Bakugo, please. You don’t have to do this, I swear I won’t tell anyone-“

“You think I’m worried about if you’ll tell anyone? Hah! I already know you won’t, wanna know why?”

He leans in, inhaling the scent of your hair and grazing his nose along the side of your neck. You force yourself to breath in and out, feeling an impending heart attack.

“‘Cause if you do, I’ll make sure to fuck you in front of everyone, especially on Deku’s broken body.”

And then you can’t stop them, the tears fall from your body shaking in pure fear at his threat.

You knew he wouldn’t actually do something like that, but hearing it snarled in your ear so softly made you believe it all the same, the power he held while you were fucked, literally and metaphorically.

“Now I’m not gonna ask you again. Take this shit off before I burn it, bitch.”

You don’t want to piss him off further, so with trembling hands you lift the edge of your sticky uniform and start to pull it off, but he stops you with a frustrated grunt.

“Slowly. I wanna savor this while no ones here.”

You bite your lip and suppress a scream as you do what he says.

And oh, does he ever savor it. The shirt clings deliciously to your breasts, and he licks his lips as it ruffles up and over your head. Your skin is perspiring from the humid air, a sheen of sweat lightly decorating your collarbones. Bakugo can’t hold himself back any longer, and you yelp when he comes at you suddenly.

He lunges at your face and pins your arms down by your side again as his lips mesh against yours, his kiss filled with clacking teeth and a thrashing tongue against your lips. The knee you’re straddling is bouncing lightly up and down, jostling you on it and causing your cunt to pulsate with heat.

You let out a distressed moan, and he swallows it greedily, using the advantage of your open mouth to delve deeper into your wet cavern. You open bleary eyes and flinch when you find his already wide open, staring back into unforgiving vermillion orbs.

He pulls back slightly, panting. “I bet Deku didn’t get this kind of treatment, huh? It’s all for me right?”

You don’t know if he’s genuinely asking you or just being insane, so you don’t answer him. Fortunately and unfortunately for you, he doesn’t care for your response, rather more focusing on dragging you by your neck towards the hot showers.

You slip and stumble as he shoves you in a stall, gaining your balance only too late when he turns and locks the door.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, just forget you saw or heard anything at the springs, it was just girl talk, stupid stuff that didn’t mean anything-“

“-even if it didn’t mean anything to you I’ll make sure you believe what you’ll feel after I fuck you senseless.”

And with that, he tugs off his clothes and licks his lips at the sight of you cowering against the wall, naked and oh so vulnerable.

He slowly shifts towards you, pressing his body flush against your trembling one. You can feel the outline of his erection on your thigh, and you swallow at how big it is.

“I don’t wanna have to close your mouth or restrain you when I’m balls deep in that tight cunt. So don’t do anything stupid and this’ll be a whole lot easier for you.”

He reaches a hand down and lightly strokes your labia, relishing in how you whimper and jerk against him, but don’t dare try to stop his hand.

Smart girl

Another hand finds its way to your tits, tugging and pulling at your hardened nipples. You gasp and arch into his touch, slowly coming undone from his ministrations. He humps against your leg like a teenage kid, grunting while he does so.

His mouth is attacking yours once again, but now you’re too tired from the constant surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins to even move your head. You just let him play with your body, your heart, your soul.

“I think the princess is wet enough for me now,” he leers at you when he pulls his fingers away, scissoring his digits to show the strings of wetness he pulled from your pussy.

You squeal and grab onto his chiseled arms as he suddenly hikes his hands underneath your upper thighs and picks you up, forcing your legs to wrap around his middle for support.

He slams you against the wall, the water cascading down your head is making your hair stick to your face, and in a strange and sudden show of intimacy Bakugo softly moves your locks away from your eyes. Your gazes lock, yours desperate and tear filled while his scarlet hues show no signs of mercy, but rather a strange predatory hunger.

Your arms scrabble behind his head and on his shoulders for balance as he slowly sinks you down on his length. You hiss and throw your head back at the sensation of being filled, and he eats it up.

He watches the way your mouth opens, your eyes widen, as every sinful sound your body can make escapes you.

As if he needed more of an ego boost

You wail as the last inches are sucked into your dripping hole, and he lets out a mean breathy laugh.

“Fuck, you really were ready huh? I should’ve taken you weeks ago, little slut.”

Your brows furrow and you try to turn your face away but he snatches your chin in a hardened grip.

“Uh-uh, none of that shit. You were doing so well, don’t turn away from me now.”

He slowly starts to roll his hips minutely into yours, not exactly thrusting but enough movement to make your cunt flutter and throb.

“What do you want me to say? You got what you wanted!” You whisper to him, more tears falling down freely down your cheeks.

He can’t help himself, he groans and surges forward to lick the salty rivers up, gripping your ass tightly when you flinch.

“Tell me you love me. Tell me how much you want me, how much better I am than that green-haired bastard and I won’t shove it up your ass.”

You can feel his abdomen clench and shake from the effort he’s making not to completely batter your cervix so you give in quickly, afraid of what he’s like when his thin strands of self restraint snap.

“I...I love you Bakugo. I really want y-ooh!”

The last bit of your sentence is choked off as he lifts you up all the way to his tip and slams your hips down his length. You gasp and weave your hands through his hair for support, your legs violently shaking at the pain.

He grunts and starts really giving it to you, setting a fast pace as he bounces you on his cock. Your head is bobbing around, you’re fairly certain there’s drool coming down your lips but you can’t find it in you to care as he fucks you into oblivion.

After a couple of more painful thrusts he pushes you against the wall and removes your hands from his hair, holding them above your head against the wall. You’re trapped with your upper half plastered against the dingy tile while your lower half is wrapped his dick.

Your cunt swallowing him down is the only leverage you have, so your whole body weight presses down on his shaft. He moans loudly at the pressure on his tip, your gooey hot walls clamping around him from every angle and you yourself can’t help it when your eyes roll back at the sensation.

He rocks his hips up, and up you go as well, whining and clawing at the wall behind you, desperately grappling onto your sanity as well. Your tits bounce with each thrust, and his glinting eyes take perverse joy in their obscene movements.

Bakugo starts moving in earnst now, deeming the slow strokes enough prep for you. He batters your womb, reaching places not even your fingers could access, making you go cross eyed.

He sees this and snickers at your pathetic state.

“Fuck yeah you little whore. You’re gonna learn no one else can satisfy this slutty pussy like I can.”

You give him nothing but a choked gasp in response. You head moves like a bobblehead, you can’t even see clearly from the water cascading into your eyes. He’s just a towering blob of ashy blond hair and large muscles.

His hips start stuttering in their rhythm, drawing to a close from his contrasting pounding minutes earlier. Your nails rake over his forearms, holding on for dear life as he pants and groans into your ear like an animal. His dick spasms inside you for a second or two, and then Bakugo suddenly holds you tight against him, wet bodies pressed against each other as he cums.

He lets out a loud moan as you whine into his shoulder at the sensation of his hot seed filling you up. You’re held against his heaving chest for a moment of two, the both of you catching your breath until he slowly backs up and lets you slip to the ground.

It’s suddenly very quiet, the sound of the shower is drowned out by the ringing in your head. You’re shaking, shock overcoming your abused body as you refuse to look at him.

But he won’t have any of that. He steps forward, and you flinch yet again, scrambling backwards to put very necessary space between him and you.

“You got what you wanted. Please leave, I won’t say anything to anyone.” You breath out shakily.

He’s silent for a moment before you hear him chuckle. His low chuckles grow louder and more derisive, he’s booming with sinister laughter and you snap your head up in horror at him.

“You think this is done?”

He crouches to your level suddenly, elbows on his knees as he cocks his head at you, eyeing your naked body that he so recently claimed as his. His gaze travels down to where his cum seeps from between your legs, and you quickly cross your limbs over to prevent him from seeing the lewd sight.

“You’re mine now, Y/N. I already told you, you’re not gonna be talking to Deku, or any other guy apart from me. You think they’ll even want you when they find out how you loved being fucked in the dirty showers? Everyone’s gonna call you a slut, nothing else.”

“No, that’s not true you-“

He crawls to you, and it’s so mesmerizingly terrifying to see a man of his build crawl to you like some deranged humanoid that you shut up, words caught in your throat.

“Shut the fuck up.” He says softly. “You’re my bitch now, and you’ll do whatever the fuck I say, when I say it.”

Bakugo might’ve felt a little bad to see the girl he liked so scared of him all because of his doing, but the way you trembled and crossed your legs like the stupid, helpless little girl that you were erased every hesitancy from his mind.

He grabbed your cheeks and smushed them together, paying no mind to the pleas and whimpers you let out in retaliation.

Licking a long stripe up your neck, you shivered when he growled, “now clean up and be outside in 10 minutes, you’re sleeping in my bunk tonight. The guys are all asleep so we’ll just take an empty room in the cabin.”

He released you and stood back up, grabbing a towel for himself along the way. Drying his hair off, his back was turned to you as he started picking his clothes up too.

You just sat there in a daze, wondering what the hell just happened.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He was dressed, and he was at the door now.

“If you think about doing anything stupid or take longer than 10 minutes, I’ll come back in and get you personally. And I’ll make sure that we stay here for the rest of the night, just in case you like your little time alone that I’m giving you too much.”

[tendous-socks]

TOKYO REVENGERS HEADCANONS OF ME BEING NON BINARY / REACTING TO SOMEONE BEING NON BINARY

tw: ⚠️⚠️kisaki⚠️⚠️ and manga spoilers, mentions of death, transphobia,

would misgender and dead-name me

1.kisaki.

must i need an explanation?😐

2. shion

“ what’re you gonna do about it?? HUH?? WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT ???”

actively looks for a fight

… if y’all are in a relationship he’d still call you his “girl” but beats people up for doing so….

3. mucho

i get the vibes that he’s traditional

would silently stare in judgment

4. mochi

he just doesn’t care clslfkxkslk

thinks it’s weird

“ nor/mal”

7. rindou..

“you either have a pen or a vag. “

8.ran

“interesting”

*continues dead naming me*

9. KOKO

he would be nicer about it when he’s in toman due to inui… but once they’re separated- an ABSOLUTE MEANCE

… reluctantly apart of the protection squad with inui ( enjoys beating people up tho)

10. bontent mikey

… he’s just so tired and doesn’t really care ) that is if you’re not close with him… but then again how close can you really get?)

11. ) PAH CHIN

AND ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORANT AND HIS FATHER DIDN BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF AND HE DIDNT KNOW BUT THEN ( if y’all are close ) HE’D FEEL BAD AND AFTER YOU EXPLAINED IT TO HIM HE TOLD PEH CHIN TOO AND WERE SURPRISINGLY SUPPORTIVE

but if y’all ain’t close he would slowly get the hint… this is canon.

because i said so-

11. sanzu…

he’s quietly judging you

EDIT

SOMEONE SAID SANZU WOULD USE ANY PRONOUNS AND I REALLY LIKE THAT HC-

SO SANZU WOULD PROBABLY JUST ‘ SILENTLY JUDGE YOU’ SO OTHERS DONT CATCH ON MHMHM

12. akashi

traditional- plus it was a different era for him growing up so…

(would glare at someone if he really did see you getting emotionally distressed)

13. smiley

“ that’s one of the most stupidest shit ive ever fucking heard 😁”

.🙁

“ you either have tits or a dick “

.☹️

but would beat people up if you get SUPER upset ( call it his protect instincts with angry, but would send people to the hospital)

14. taiju

“ i wanna church girl who goes to church and reads her bible “

would spit at me

- WHO WOULD BEAT SOMEONE UP FOR DEAD-NAMING / MISGENDERING

1. PAH CHIN AND PEH YAN

THEYRE ABSOLUTE MENACES TO SOCIETY IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A GIRL / BOY

head canon : during tenjiku you were there and had to adjust your transtape cause it was coming lose 🙄

which is literally the most annoying thing in the world-

and shion saw you.

he came up and was like “ HUH WHAT’VE WE GOT HERE?? A GIRL PRETENDING TO BE A G-“

couldn’t even finish his sentence with how fast peh chin clocked his ass 🤭

( peh yan supremacy)

2. my main man takemichy

no explanation needed ( maybe deadnamed you only once cause he didn’t know)

3. inui cause i said so

5. BAJI BAJI

BAJI WOULD ALMOST KILL A DUDE FOR CALLING YOU YOUR DEAD NAME

i KNOW mama baji raised him right ✋🙄

almost clocked chifuyu when you told him about your first encounter kcksldofospdoco

almost clocked your mom when she said “you got it girlfriend”

she was confused when she saw you desperately trying to prevent the next criminal minds episode

best listener for body dystrophia fight me 🙉❤️

6. senju

*comes out*

“..oh okay! anyways as i was saying [preferred name] “

would need some gentle reminders only once or twice cause i will say it does take a bit of time for people to get used to it and there are always a few slip ups

tells akashi about your pronouns ( ONLY WITH YOUR CONSENT OFC)

( promises to try and be more girly if he calls you by them and your preferred name)

she wants you to go into more details about what you’re feeling cause she’s genuinely very interested about everything and she wants to know more about you.

7. emma 😻 vv supportive 🙌🙌

*sicks mikey and draken out on anyone who hurts your feelings

“you know [blah blah blah] from history?”

“of course yeah “

“yeah he ended up calling me slur during class- what’re you doing?”

*emma pulling out her phone

“hm? oh nothing don’t worry about it”

gave more insight about it to draken and mikey

8. HINA

YALL SAW HOW SHE SLAPPED MIKEY-

THIS GIRL WOULD D R A G A BITCH BY THEIR HAIR IF SHE SAW THEM BULLYING YOU

the one of correct takemichy

9. yuzuha

hina but 10x worse

trips transphobes for shit and giggles 🤪🤞

i like to think that the girls (all 4) would just all stare down a girl who was shit talking you and just pick her apart mercilessly ( a little ooc but this is my head canons so they can be whatever i say they are)

ones idk about

1. mikey

he knows that you can handle yourself so he lets you correct people.

or

sometimes he’ll jump in and correct them instead for one of two reasons.

1. he felt like it

2. they kept calling you your dead name and misgendering you EVEN THOUGH you already corrected them

but if the person ACTIVELY does that and says some… not so fruity things. he’ll send em to the hospital and end up on life support 😌☝️

like dom tertto, he cares about his family. and toman is his family, and you’re in toman ( not THAT kind of y/n way 🙄 )

“ BE WHO YOU AREE🌈🌈🌈🌈🤪🤞🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈”

1. draken

… listen… idk why, but i just don’t SEE him beating people up for misgendering me… well okay i kinda see it,

but he’d be like, “ i don’t understand what you’re going through, but i support you and if you want to talk about it i’m here”

wants to try and understand so like i said before, he lets you rant about what you’re feeling

would let you handle your own battles cause your strong enough to

a true king 😎🙌

does in fact throw punches when it gets REALLY BAD

2. angry

… idk h o w empathic he is and how mad he’d have to be on your behalf when people actively kept misgendering you to become the blue ogre.

but he’d just start crying at the confrontation.. 😐

my hero ig 🤥

3. izana

“ that’s fucking stupid”

*beats up middle aged woman who said for you to “ have a good day ma’am”

but if y’all close he’ll only say it’s stupid once when he sees you genuinely upset and ignoring him

“ be who you are.. 🌈”

4. kaku

same boat as izana, A LOT less judgmental

5. mitsuya

won’t hesitate to send a bitch flying

actively corrects people

( teaches luna and mana about your pronouns for the next time you come over 🕺🏻)

TAKES YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES

6. haitani brothers

*actively bullies you

*bullies kid into the grave for looking at your chest area

7. …hakkai

he accidentally slipped up once🤒

WHEN I SAY THIS MANS FACE WENT PALE- HE DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR A W E E K MINIUM CAUSE HE FELT SO BAD

YOU KEPT TELLING HIM THAT ITS FINE-

BUT HE FELT AWFUL

( has nightmares about it)

8. chifuyu would only do it in his mohawk era cause he wanted to seem metal and impress da boys 🥶🥶☝️☝️

pulled you aside at the end of the day to apologize

( like i said before, baji almost clocked him when you told him about your first encounter )

who am i kidding they’re all in gangs, they’d probably kill someone if they hurt you cospwpfoslief

——————

IF YALL GOT ANYMORE IDEAS LMK CAUSE IM INVESTED IN YHIS AND WANNA HEAR WHAT YALL THINK

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 18, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Hey OP where’s the funny header gif for this post? Sorry, it was murdered by an angst demon and the framing of these shots.

My Found Family Came to Find Me

Continuing our flashback from last time, we see Baby Wei Ying up a tree, refusing to come down because he's afraid there are dogs. Eventually he falls out of the tree, like a dumbass a child, and Yanli tries but fails to catch him. 

Unlike his grownup counterpart, Baby Wei Ying doesn't pretend he's unhurt when he is hurt. I'd like to put the change at Yu Ziyuan's door, but actually he admits to being hurt during his Gusu summer - he mimics Lan Zhan's stoicism when they're getting beaten, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and he whines a lot afterwards. 

By the time of the Animatronic Dog incident, however, he's laughing off obvious injuries that have secret trauma behind them. By the time he comes back, coreless, from the burial mounds, he won't confide in anyone about his hurts any more, except possibly Wen Qing.

Yanli carries Wei Ying, in a sequence that will be echoed much later in his life when Lan Zhan carries him (gifset here). While they head back, she tells him that Jiang Cheng has a bad temper and to ignore whatever mean things he says. This will also be echoed in the future, when Wei Wuxian says it to Lan Zhan after their argument with Jiang Cheng in the shrine.

Yanli also explains that Jiang Cheng loved his dogs and that he's been very sad since Jiang Fengmian sent them away, demonstrating once again that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father. Yanli says that Jiang Cheng will be happy to have a friend with him, though. This kind of makes Wei Wuxian's role in Jiang Cheng's life "replacement dog."

Jiang Cheng, after getting over this particular snit, got worried about Wei Wuxian and woke up Yanli to find him, and then went wandering around in the dark like a dumbass a child, and is banged up and crying when the other two find him. Yanli encourages him to apologize to Wei Wuxian and he does, which will not happen again until the very end of the show.  

They all smile and laugh together, as Wei Ying looks to Yanli to guide him through the insanity that his life has suddenly become. 

(more behind the cut!)

They head back to Lotus Pier in a sweet montage of walking and smiling together, with Jiang Cheng carrying the world's most beautiful candle holder with the world's most wind-resistant candle in it, to light their way back. Back in the present day for a brief moment, Jiang Cheng pretends to sleep and listens to his sister insisting that the three of them should always stay together, while a single tear rolls down the side of his face.

Soup is Love, Chapter 1 of 1000

Then we head to the past again. In Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying's now-shared room, Wei Ying sits on the bed trying to figure out how to deal with his grumpy new roommate.

Wei Ying is unsure what to do when confronted with pajama game this strong. Tiny Jiang Cheng is already a fashion king. 

Then he tells Jiang Cheng he's not going to narc him out to the clan leader, since it was his own fault that he hurt his leg. This is all Jiang Cheng needs to hear to decide Wei Ying is all right, and he says that he will help Wei Ying chase away dogs in the future.  In fact, Wei Wuxian will protect Jiang Cheng from punishment basically forever, while Jiang Cheng will continue to threaten Wei Wuxian with dogs...forever.

They shake hands on their new understanding and then jump up and down laughing, Wei Ying's leg being all better now, apparently.  When Yanli arrives (carrying a tray of...can you guess? I'll let you guess), they stop jumping. Wei Ying dives in to give Jiang Cheng a little tickle/embrace in an adorable moment that would have me saying "oh, my ovaries!" if I hadn't surgically sent my ovaries to hell a few years ago.

Yanli introduces Wei Ying to the emotional and gustatorial miracle that is her lotus and ribs soup. He hesitates a long time before tucking in because he's so unused to being fed.

Consent? I Don’t Even Know Her

The flashback wraps up with Yanli conked out on the table from the drugs in the incense burner, while Wei Wuxian, who is somehow unaffected despite sitting almost as close to the smoke as she was, checks on her. Jiang Cheng and his Uggs period-appropriate sock thingies get out of bed to come stand with Wei Wuxian, and have feelings about sending Yanli away after she JUST said she doesn't want to be parted from them.

Wei Wuxian: If she didn't want us to do this, she shouldn't have signed that blanket consent-to-medical-treatment form.   Jiang Cheng: Wen Qing made me sign one of those plus a durable power of attorney, is that bad?

This episode is all about people overriding each others' agency and making massively important decisions without the consent of the people who will be affected. But in a feudal context, it's not a violation, no matter how it feels to the person being controlled. In feudal life, your body belongs to your lord -- your sect leader, in the world of CQL. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng's choices are overridden by their clan leader's final command to Wei Wuxian.  Wei Wuxian's core is arguably Jiang Fengmian's property--Wei Wuxian certainly sees it that way, just as his hand was Yu Ziyuan's to take if she wished.  

The brothers tenderly tuck Yanli into bed in the rolly cart and hand her off to Song Lan. They talk about how important it is to get her to Lanling and that she's probably going to be mad, as they thank Song Lan for helping them. 

Yanli listens while she sleeps and, in what is becoming a trademark Jiang move, lets a single tear roll down the side of her face. Jiang Cheng points out that Yanli never gets mad at Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is like, true dat.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

Song Lan is always so emotional about every damn thing, I love him. Here he's like OH GOD NO DON'T FORMALLY THANK ME! STOP!!!

Then he starts to ask Wei Wuxian to pass a message to Song Xingchen for him, but then decides not to say anything, making it super obvious that they fought and aren't together. 

Wei Wuxian reacts to this with confusion and distress, probably because he doesn't want to imagine ever having a breakup with his own soulmate. Which he soon will be having.  But possibly he's just upset that his OTP broke up.

After Song Lan takes off, Jiang Cheng gives Wen Qing a rude & perfunctory thank-you bow, turning away before she can return it. Wei Wuxian tells her not to take it to heart - basically everyone who deals with Jiang Cheng gets a version of the "ignore what he says" speech. She says she understands and that in his place she would have behaved worse, which is so totally not true.  

Then she asks Wei Wuxian if he's sure about the core transfer (not in so many words, because the script is being kind of being vague about it, without actually hiding what's happening). His reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.

Then he and Jiang Cheng walk off, with Jiang Cheng giving us a rear view that had me googling Wang Zhuocheng's fashion shoots to determine if that wagon he's draggin’ is really as delightful as this belt makes it look. Alas, there is not a wealth of photographic evidence for this research, as compared to, for example, photos of Xiao Zhan's outstanding ass.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning see them off, with Wen Qing wishing they valued their lives more. Although, what she and Wen Ning are doing is massive treason, so their lives will be pretty much forfeit if they're caught, so...

The Sunshot Campaign of Like 60 Dudes

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng walk up the mountain for the whole beginning of the Sunshot campaign, which...okay. Maybe it's like Dunkirk or The Witcher where they intercut stuff that is happening in different timeframes, which is one of my least favorite new film style thingies.

You know, for a guy Wei Wuxian constantly calls "peacock," Jin Ziyuan really doesn't wear a lot of adornment; just some subtle metalwork on his belt with no dangly bits at all, and a single reasonably-sized hair crown. Compared to the extremely fancy Lan Wangji he's almost plain. We already know that Wei Wuxian is a massive hypocrite when it comes to his idea of a perfect boy, however.

So, this is the Lanling Jin army, which consists of literally 60 guys, including the ones on the stairs and Jin Zixuan and Douchebag Dad. How are they going to fight a war with this tiny group? Why do they have such a big plaza? Hasn't anybody on this production learned CGI cloning?

That’s better.

Nie Mingjue and his best bitch Baxia make quick work of the 4 Wen guys who were assigned to hold the Unclean Realm. 

Hello, Daddy Da-Ge!

Squeeee, it's Lan Wangji! He's taking back Cloud Recesses! Ooooohhh we've missed you Lan Wangji.

Look guys he's here! Look how beautiful he is. He's looking at the gate of cloud recesses and thinking thoughts that Lan Xichen or Wei Wuxian could probably see in his bewitching eyes if they were here to see him, which they aren't. But at least he is here!

....and now he's gone again. *cries*

Hares On The Mountains

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian continue roaming prettily around this pretty mountainside. The locations in this show are such eye candy. 

Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  If I was a young lass I’d soon go a hunting

Jiang Cheng starts to have doubts about the whole Baoshan Sanren thing. Wei Wuxian's reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.  

Then we have just the tenderest blindfolding scene, (more gifs here), which is fodder for your ChengXian dreams, if you have those.

Here's a good place for a sidebar about what is and isn't incest. Whee! In the CDrama context, relationships tend to be more clearly defined than in western media. The mechanism of confession & acceptance means that people either are or are not in a romantic relationship, with few grey areas. So a character can literally say "we grew up as brother and sister, but now we are dating" and when someone looks startled they just say "there's no blood relation" and everyone is like "cool cool" and that's the new definition of the relationship.

For a strong example of this, the extremely wonderful Go Ahead is about a contemporary family in which a girl and two boys, who are not blood relatives, are all raised together, and call each other brother and sister. When they become adults, they and everyone around them expect the girl (now a woman) to marry one of the two men who have been her brothers, while whichever one she doesn't choose will carry on as her sibling. It's treated as the most natural, logical thing in the world; the only question is whether she wants to make that transition, and with whom.

Looked at through this lens, Wei Wuxian's relationships with his adoptive siblings have just as much potential to turn into romances as his relationships with his friends do, and there's nothing creepy about it. As such you can expect my meta to always get into ChengXian moments without treating it as a wrong or forbidden love. Hopeless, of course, because Jiang Cheng is such a prick the power of WangXian is stronger, but that's a different matter.

What is wrong is wearing this fantastic hat & veil combination when the most fashionable person on the mountain is blindfolded and can't see it.

In the course of this blindfolded encounter with Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng gets to kneel before a powerful woman, be led along by a length of silk that's placed in his hand, and then knocked the fuck out and operated on. He'll wake up in a hotel room in a tub full of ice with "we took your kidney" written on the mirror in lipstick, and he'll love every minute of it.  

Soundtrack: 1. Still Fighting it, by Ben Folds 2. Hares on the Mountain, by Steeleye Span

Writing Prompt: The NEXT time somebody blindfolds Jiang Cheng