#succ butt

[knightofwands]

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

I totally get this, and I was definitely raised to be one of those weirdos, but have largely put it behind me. I'm never really offended by swearing, I just see it as a different level of formality and take it as it goes in the context.

I cuss A LOT as an adult, do not get me wrong, but leftover from being raised a weirdo and working in education, it's a boundary for me to not cuss past a PG-13 level around kids, PG if they're really young. NGL, when their parents are fine with full swearing around them, it still kinda makes me uncomfy, but I respect that parent's relationship with their own kid. It's very correct that swearing should not be AS TABBOO cuz true, people do not usually give a fuck.

I just personally have my own boundaries. For kid me, adults cussed in traumatic angee ways, so I don't want to unintentionally push buttons like that around younger people just in case. It's also outta respect for the kid cuz they're not usually allowed to use that language themselves, so I'd rather abstain if they have to in mixed kid to adult company.

Plus making weird Adventure Time style swears almost always gets a laugh from any age.

remember how profanity was made out to be the worst thing in the world when you were a kid and then when you grew up everyone was like "just kidding, nobody actually cares, we were just doing that so we could yell at you"

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

Women in Elden Ring: I killed 96588667 tarnished with my rot attack. you're fucking next, bitch

Men in Elden Ring: I'm a weak kitten tarnished save me erdtree grant me succ, call me mother

Peasants in Elden Ring: I'm literally a decomposing husk m'lord but it's all good

End boss Consort Radahn: aaahh so weak my butt hurts, I'm crumbling, you use magic I use die aahh, Miquella kiss it better aaah

Miquella: I knew I should have stuck with Mohg, Lord of Blood. He had better drip too

Low level monster in Elden Ring: I'm a frog with laser eyes. A FROG WITH LASER EYES. Who are you to think you can walk through MY hallway. Become dust, tarnished

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks and it's almost Halloween so it's time to announce the winners of the spooky October caption contest!

We had a lot of submissions and they were all really good, so like last month, I'll pick 3 winners (in order) and 3 honorable mentions.

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  If you won and want a prize, please contact me. Honorable mentions can get a prize if any of the winners decline (I will contact you if that happens).  

Anyway here are the entries, as usual, grouped by the platform they were submitted on:

Fedi/Mastodon:

Dollcomics: Even with insurance, a comic book heroines back surgery always cost an arm and a leg Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Disqus:

Demma10: "... But it's the pelvic thrust, that will make you go insane (and lose your hips or limbs). Let's, do, the (battle) time warp, again." P J Evans: "Die, cursed arm, DIE!"

Tumblr:

atomicmosaic: perspective so bad I can't even tell whose ass is supposed to be whose atomicniire: "thank god this flying body part is covering up my massive boner" auronlu: "Internal organs!" she thought, hacking and chopping in such a frenzy of despair that her vertebrae rattled like the overtaxed joints of a 1980a snake puzzle. "If I can't have any, why should they!?" elkian: Gloria hates it when the sound stage gets double-booked, but she is scheduled to rehearse 2 hours of opera practice and no amount of zombie gorefest is going to stop her, goddammit! fyrenwater: "No, I said PUMPKIN carving, not bumpkin carving!" glidingisindeedfaster: "I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE IN THE WORM POSE CONTEST AND YOU GUYS CAN’T STOP MEEEEE" harukami: The halftime show got weirder every year. karltface: But it was just as she had feared: despite adopting ever more ridiculous fighting styles, her skill was so great, there was no threat, no challenge, no pride in any fight. The genie had been right to laugh. milkawa-and-co: "Come on ! Killing 1200 zombies with the Butt Thrust Spell and the Golden Sexy Armor is the last succes I need to platinium this game !" silveraptor: “TV Tropes calls this the ‘Interplay of Sex and Violence’ I call this ‘what happens when a comic book artist mixes up their Work and “Taxes” folders’.” swanfink: "And it's the pelvic thruuust~ That really drives you insa-a-a-ane~!" thecomicsrack: Plasticine Lass v The Evil Dead thevikingfish-nimhrodell: "Ohhhhh, I'm in the fight,  my hips don't lie, I'm stabbin' to kill this guy.  Put him in traction, after i hack him. Mauling zombies, yes, this is perfection!" vis-a-vi: "Please turn your attention to the figure on the left wielding a club. Note that he has no nipple on his left side. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk." zombiemollusk: me and the boys havin a wild gore-gy

The honorable mentions go to: Dollcomics, @fyrenwater, and @zombiemollusk

The runner-ups are:

In third place: @thevikingfish-nimhrodell

In second place: @harukami

And the winner is... Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Congrats to the winners and thank you and a Happy Early Halloween to everybody who submitted a caption!  The captions were also really good this month too!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in November!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If the winner or the runner ups don't claim a prize, then the honorable mentions get a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Aragami, Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3, Hotel Giant 2, I Am Fish, Ittle Dew 2+, My Time At Portia, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun, Survivalist, Trifox, Tunche, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

WeLp, OC Making Time! (Been awhile)

Name: Markees Copen "Dovenlurr" (Dovenlurr is Mynoklan for "Doctor" or "Healer").

Age: Physically in his late 30s. Mynk Age is unknown.

Gender: Genderless (Gender isn't really important to him but he is technically Trans-Masc), He/Him.

Sexuality: Possibly Gae... Maybe leaning towards more to

Demiromantic but who knows.

Species: Apnoaw Mynk (But might had some Nil/Fezar ancestry)

Height: 7'5 (Kinda the average height of a Apnoaw)

Personality: is a very smart (Like the stereotypical Apnoaw) but seems to not really act rude to any Nils as he himself has Nil DNA but since he passes so well as a pure Apnoaw he isn't really that h8ed + he seems very knowledgeable of many diseases & cures. However when things don't go his way (as in his own projects wise) he gets pretty mad & end up trying himself to sleep. He's very much a no bs person & WILL snap back at you if you do insult him over some Lil mistake he did that he didn't notice. He seems to have a slight crush on a certain soldier he works with named Sparrow but Sparrow is kinda..... energetic at time & very clumsy... However Copen really doesn't care. (Yes even those times Sparrow calls him a butt or the other word for Donkey but again, he does enjoy treating him of his scars).

Other: Due to his no bs behavior a lot of the soldiers (primarily the entitled ones bcs those guys succ) really don't like him. He however does not give a single frik about them & says smtn like "if you dont want to be healed by me you can go to another doctor to complain to or you can go away & die. I don't want you disrupting me while I'm trying to HELP you!" Considering he was decended from a Nil/Fezar hybrid, the trauma from the Civil War of Fable runs in his bl00d.... So yeah.... Also he is very lanky like lots of Apnoaws are but he kinda has a ED that he is currently trying (hopefully) fix as when he's n9t working/at his job, he goes to his therapist (who's also is assistant at times) (Even though Mynks are light eaters, Copen had a major problem with trying to actually eat anything but Mynks will normally have a meal a day)

This fella is not perfect in any way but he isn't a menace either. Just some guy who is kinda done with everything but generally doesn't talk about it since it will actually stur up his ptsd again if he does. Only time he is actually is comfortable with talking it about is welp... Sparrow & his assistant/therapist.

[spikedsoul]

maid's worst nightmare - ch 24

okay... last time we had a long chapter i linked it, but i guess i'll see if tumblr will let me post it. no warnings this time except for loose lips ;)

previous chapters

@sovereign-of-succ

Your heart hammered against your chest as you stared up the grand staircase at Bowser's door. It was hard to reason with yourself that there was no reason to be so anxious, because the anxiety wasn't stemming from actual fear. Therein lied the problem - you didn't know why you were anxious so you couldn't talk yourself down.

But you had to go up at some point. He was probably expecting you pretty soon. It would be best to just get it over with - the sooner you went up, the sooner it would be over.

Okay, Maidie, just be cool…

"Missy!"

Oh, thank whoever was watching over you for Dryden’s little voice.

You turned around just in time to see the poor koopa trip and go spinning out. Although you wanted to laugh you held yourself in check, instead kneeling to catch him when he got closer to you.

"Easy, kid," you smiled, helping him back onto his feet. A quiet giggle escaped you when you saw his eyes were rolling around a little, but the kid just grinned.

"Thanks, Missy. I came to give you a message." He held onto your wrists tightly as he steadied himself, giving his head a shake to clear it. When he looked up at you, he gasped softly. "Wow… you look like a goddess…" he whispered in awe.

You chuckled and gently patted his head. "Thank you, sweet boy. Wendy decided to do my makeup, so I'm glad it came out well."

"I'll say," he nodded. He held his arms out to be picked up and you sighed, but obliged, a little surprised when he basically weighed nothing. "You're also a lot happier today than you were when I met you. Does that mean you're settling in a little bit more? Has Lord Bowser been nice to you? If not, I'll kick his tail!" He puffed his cheeks out in what you assumed was supposed to be an intimidating display.

"Easy, tiger," you laughed, "That's very sweet of you, but he's been good to me just like you told me he was. In fact, I have to go meet with him now, so what was it you needed to tell me? Also, why me?"

A grin stretched over Dryden’s beak. "Because Ludwig said so! Um, right, but the message was for you to meet him in the garage after lunch. And Junior, and maybe Morton if Morton isn't being… um… what did he say?" He scratched his head in thought. "Obno… a knob… shuss? No… onnox… obxon… um…. Annoying. Sometimes Morton likes to be annoying just because, so he'll be there if Ludwig hasn't kicked him out."

Fuck, this kid was adorable.

You nodded seriously to make sure he knew you understood what he was trying to say. It sounded like Morton liked to potentially butt heads or irritate people just for kicks, so you'd have to tread carefully with him.

"Thank you for letting me know, Dryden. Will you be there, too?"

"Of course!" His little chest puffed out in pride at being included with the other kids. 

"Then I'll see you all after lunch," you smiled, and moved to put him down. Before you got too far, though, he lightly tapped your shoulder.

"Um… Missy?" he mumbled shyly.

"Yes, Dryden?" You smiled patiently.

"Ummmmm…" He shifted and giggled softly. "Can I have a kiss?"

Well bless his little heart, how could you say no?

You grinned and kissed his cheek, sure to leave a faint lipstick mark, and then set him down. "There you go, squirt. Now go get some lunch and I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

"Okay!" he grinned, and hurried back the way he'd come with his hand protectively covering where you'd kissed his cheek.

You chuckled, then turned back toward the staircase and started heading up to the heavy wooden door at the top. After seeing Dryden, you really felt a little better - again - and managed to keep your anxiety under control as you grew ever closer to the door. Well, mostly. By the time you reached it, butterflies had settled in your stomach again, but you did your best to ignore them as you pushed the door open.

"I'm back," you called softly. "I could only find Wendy, and she needed a little girl time so I guess I missed the boys before they left their rooms, but Dryden said they wanted to see me after lunch so I can check on them then and then be back to finish patching up your clothes…" Your voice trailed off a little when you realized Bowser wasn't hovering near the door waiting for you.

You took a few steps further into the room and saw his closet door open, the tip of his tail sticking out of it. Ah. So he was here.

"...Sir?" you sighed.

"I heard ya," he grunted in response.

You hummed; you'd let him finish whatever it was he was doing before bothering him further. When you turned to go sit on the couch to wait, something new in the room caught your eye: a table had been brought in and set up in one of the empty corners, complete with silverware and placemats and wine glasses. Huh. This seemed… awfully suspicious.

Like a date sort of suspicious.

"So how was Wendy?" Bowser asked from the closet.

You glanced at him, then took a seat on the foot of the bed so you weren't having to yell your responses back to him.

"She was pretty grateful for some time with me, honestly," you murmured, "or at least that's how it seemed to me. I even got a hug out of it."

Bowser's tail flicked, the spikes lightly tapping the door frame. "And she didn't have to bribe ya for it?" he asked, definitely suspicious.

You scoffed in response. "Hell no. It really seems like she's kinda desperate for another girl to be around… or I guess just some older female figure in her life. She did tell me that Princess Peach hardly gives her the time of day when she's here… is that true?" You leaned back on your hands, eyes on the table setup.

"Peach is an utter darling," Bowser replied a little too defensively to be believed. You weren't even sure he believed himself, because honestly, it sounded like the one he wanted to convince was him, not you. "But Wendy's right. She don't really pay my kids much mind when we go through our little rigamarole. She's not rude, of course, but it's kinda like she don't really know how to interact with 'em, and… and won't try."

He finished quietly; you were pretty sure that was a new revelation to him that he'd realized as he was talking to you. It broke your heart for multiple reasons, but mostly because of how easy it really seemed to connect with the kids so far. You weren't trying basically at all, just being a decent adult to them, and three kids (albeit one not his) had already latched onto you.

Just who was Peach?

"Okay…" You sighed softly. You'd have time to figure this out. The Beanbean party hadn't left yet to tell Peach you were here, but maybe when she got you she'd explain if you asked. "Different question, then."

"What," he growled.

You rolled your eyes. "What're you doing in the closet still?"

"Tryna get this gotdamn thing tied but I'mma just say fuck it!" he snarled, obviously frustrated. "Fixin' to burn this shit up, I fuckin' swear!"

"Oh my god, you overgrown child, whatever it is, let me help." You got yourself onto your feet and stepped up to the door frame; it was a bit surprising to see him in… shit, was he wearing a suit? It was a little hard to tell even though his shell was elsewhere - his spikes were still a little in the way.

You'd noticed it when you were fixing up clothes the day before, but it was different to see how the spikes fit so perfectly into the holes on the back of his shirts. So that's how he wore stuff under the shell…

"I got it," he muttered, hunching his shoulders and sticking his elbows out to the sides to prevent you from getting around him.

You frowned. "Let me help," you insisted, gently nudging his tail with your leg. It flicked out of the way as if to allow you to slip closer, so you slid as close as you could to his side while staying wary of his spikes.

"I said I got it!" he chuffed. He lifted his head to throw you a glare, but the moment he caught your eye he spun around to face you, his spikes stuck out behind him like a pincushion. His eyes were wide in shock as he stared down at you.

You weren't entirely sure how to take that, so you stubbornly reached to help with the tie he was struggling with. To your internal alarm, he shied away from your hands, backing into the wall. Your lips pressed into a thin line but you persisted in tying his tie. And, since he couldn't flee, you quietly got it tied and patted his chest gently.

"You do know it's still me?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. Yes, you were entirely uncertain why he was reacting like he was, but you'd been assured you looked good, not scary.

He nodded that yes, he did know. So he wasn't like a cat not knowing what a mask was…

Your eyebrows knitted together as something struck you. "Bowser," you said slowly, "are you… blushing?"

"N-no!" he barked. "Fuckin' - git–" He pushed off the wall and raised his hands as if to shoo you away, but you weren't done yet. Oh no. The king was blushing and you wanted to know exactly why.

Surely it wasn't what you were thinking, right?

You forced yourself to hold his irate gaze, boldly placing your hands on his tummy. Immediately, he swallowed and pressed his back against the wall again, expression morphing into one of mild panic as the scales on his cheeks grew ever darker.

Gently, almost experimentally, you rubbed his tummy in what you hoped was a soothing action. "Bows?" you cooed softly. Holy shit, you were definitely poking the bear - er, koopa, but you had no idea when the next time you'd have this effect on someone would be.

He turned his snout up as he chuffed at you. But after a moment, he seemed to get over himself enough to do something and brought his hands up to your shoulders. You let him gently turn you around to guide you toward the table.

"Lunch soon…" he muttered, letting one of his hands slip down to your waist. You glanced back at him but he still wasn't looking at you. "Thought ya might get tired of eating on the couch so… table…"

"Bowser."

"Even some wine comin', as a treat–"

You stopped abruptly, almost laughing when he didn't quite stop in time and his stomach pressed against your back. The first time you'd felt it, it had been terrifying, your very first day here, but now that you knew he was a decent guy or was almost comforting.

"Bowser," you stated.

"What," he growled.

"Is this a date?"

"Wh- no! That's - uh…"

You glanced back at him as he looked down at himself in his suit, then at the table set for two including fancy wine glasses and even a candle, and then finally at you. He looked mildly guilty. You raised your eyebrows in a silent demand for an explanation, and he shifted. His tail even curled around his legs.

"Bowser–" you started, turning to put your hands on your hips, but he caught your hands and held them gently in his own.

"It was just supposed to be a nice lunch," he mumbled earnestly, "I mean, ya looked so pretty, I thought it could be a pleasant surprise to… to, um…"

The two of you stared at each other with wide eyes and developing blushes as he registered what he'd just said. You felt like your heart stopped. There wasn’t anxiety or fear or anything as you just stared dumbly up at him, and he stared dumbly down at you.

He'd said it. Out loud. To your face. Granted, while trying to explain it wasn't supposed to be a sneaky date (you'd been kidding anyway!) but he'd still just admitted that he thought you were pretty.

Bowser, the king of the koopas, the man known for stealing Princess Peach to try to marry her, was into you, a simple handmaiden. His pawn.

This wasn't something your little heart needed right now. You would happily take the comfort he offered, physical and mental, but you weren't sure you needed to entertain the idea of romance until Rodney was dealt with for good. You didn't need that extra worry. You didn't need the fear that things would turn out the same for you.

And you certainly didn't need those damn butterflies zipping around in your chest like a swarm of hornets was threatening to carry your heart away.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Rammstein really have the most perfect sibling behaviour.

Till. The eldest child. Reliable, responsible, knows everything that's useful, talented. A model child. But just like every model child, has a side that no one expects him to have, and it is FREAKY.

Paul. Parents pride and joy, and he knows it, and he will let you know about it. Knows little about a lot and a lot about little. Trivia genius. Knows his worth and will fight for it.

Schneider. The parent. He will get you food and first air. He will tell you off and after will give you money to go to a party. Absolute legend amongst little kids.

Flake. The nerd in every movie. As a kid, used to carry bottle caps and worms in his pockets. Loyal to the very end. Will lie for you and then grumble about it for the next 4 days. Whatever is happening, he will be there.

Richard. The rebel. The cliche middle child. Always yearning for more. Forms deep attachments to things and people. Will knock teeth out if necessary. Leaves the basement every 5 to 6 days.

Oliver. The youngest child. Often gets forgotten because he's also the quietest one. Will provide you with fire crackers. Adaptable like a dog. The only one who never got told off.

Thought about if they could be any other age order than they are irl, but funny enough i don't think that would work 😊

as i see it (and pretty similar to anon i think)

Till: the first-born, expected to be everyone's pride and joy, but becauss pretty soon nr 2 came (see following) he took the opportunity to try everything first and shock the parents several times, but gets away with everything because he sets the standards (or rather, the standards change for him 😊). All the younger brothers look up to him, because he comes up with the best pranks, and sneaks them in movie theaters or bars with him. Also, 'the Jock', so whenever a younger brother needs to be put in his place, he'll do it.

Paul: 2nd born, but as soon as he could walk and talk, he asserted himself as the one in charge. He rules the roost, and decides what they do when they are out together. Nobody messes with him, or tries to prank him, except the older brother who is the only one not bothered by being nagged.

Schneider: the 3rd, a nice kid, but not as quick as his older brothers to spot a joke or an opportunity, so is often the butt of everyone's pranks, which he doesn't mind that much, because he often thinks the pranks are funny anyway. Also, the reliable one; the one they all call if they need a ride, have a hangover, or lost their pants and don't want to come home in their underpants, because he'll fix it before the parents find out.

Flake: the 4rd, and with 3 rowdy older brothers, pretty much goes his own way. Secretly a favorite of the parents, because he's *not* a handfull. The three older ones are sometimes a bit confused about this quiet brother, but they won't let anyone say anything bad about him (they are the only ones allowed to do that).

Richard: the 5th, for a few years the youngest, and he enjoyed that, but when another brother came around after, he lost his 'niche' in the family, and struggles to find his spot. He wants to be the prankster (but without succes as all the pranks have been done already by his older brothers), wants to be cool (but has no chance with the older brothers being there to put him in his place). Forever searching.

Olli: the youngest, and purely by chance the easiest child of all of them (to the relief of the parents), so everyone dotes on him. Gets taken to parties and hang-outs with much older people by his brothefs, but doesn't let that get to his head and can handle it better then they can.

[artdecosupernova-writing]

Small Stories Hour: Darkspace Portent

Intrusion

↳ The box fell onto the table with a cardboard thunk, the pieces inside clattering impatiently. Warren glanced from the screen of his phone to the colorful board game as it shouted its obnoxious slogan from the front of the lid, then landed his exasperated gaze on the man who dropped it in the first place. He was met with a cheeky grin and an equally obnoxious clap of the hands.

"Let's turn that frown upside down!"

"Tucker," Warren groaned. "Please. No."

Tucker executed a weird flip of his elbow-length obsidian hair and shook his butt from side to side as he kept himself bent over the table. "You need to smile today, friend!"

"I only just stopped smiling from the entire weed cake I ate by myself at graduation." Warren set his phone face-down on the table. "No thanks to you or anybody else, by the way."

"Wow, I followed you all the way to Arizona to be your roommate and this is the thanks I get? All sorts of wrong."

"You didn't even know I applied here, loser. Just let me sulk."

Picking up the box, Tucker shrugged and flopped his beanpole self onto his bed. "Suit yourself. You should know, though, that there's this girl that's been asking about you. Something about your eyes or whatever, I think she said she thought you were hot."

Warren scrunched his nose. "God, seriously? Already? Usually it's like…three blissful years before anyone fucking notices me."

"She's coming to the party that's being thrown down the hall, you going?"

"Can I not and say I did?"

"Nah, brah, you gotta go. You could meet your soulmate there."

Warren scoffed. "Right. My soulmate probably isn't even in this galaxy."

He did attend the party, though as he downed his first cup of alcohol he realized that despite his initial grumbling he was, in fact, having a pretty decent time. He flitted from group to group as vaguely electronic indie music played unchallenged in the background, surprising himself with his chattiness, participating in a rousing game of beer pong that ended with one of the frat guys spilling half the last cup down the front of his sweater.

A girl shoved a succulent in his face. "Wanna succ?!"

Warren blinked at the pastel pink bowl vase and the small tuft of Dudleya under his nose. He finished the three-point shot of his empty cup into the trash can. "Uh…bathroom?"

The girl, whose short afro perfectly complemented the shiny gold skater skirt she wore, took a step back in apprehension. "Uh…wait, what?"

"I gotta piss."

"Oh! Oh, god, I'm sorry!" She laughed and pointed to the succulent. "I thought you were…never mind, I'll let you go then!"

Warren watched her turn to swim through the crowd with her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. "Wait, what's your name?"

"Keeya!" she called over her shoulder as she waited awkwardly for a mountain of a vape-smoker to make room for her to squeeze through his group.

"You wouldn't happen to be the one who's been spreading the rumor that I'm hot, would you? That's a closely guarded secret and I may have to report you for it."

Keeya turned around and flashed him a brilliant smile. "Damn it…how'd you know?"

Warren grinned, hand searching for the bathroom door knob behind him. "Just a wild guess."

"You a freshman?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yup. Moved in last week."

Warren tipped his head, still blindly flailing for the knob. "So…? Is it the eyes?"

Keeya nodded emphatically. "Oh, without question. You get that a lot?"

"More than I ever wanted. Hey, can I come back in a minute when I'm not about to wet myself because I can't seem to perform the simple task of locating a fucking door knob?"

Keeya laughed again and Warren hurried into the bathroom.

The two of them were practically inseparable for the rest of the party, talking with each other alone or with other people, making a game out of introducing one another to people they'd never met before. When the party showed signs of wearing down, Keeya instantly pitched in to help the clean-up process. Warren followed, picking cups with dregs of beer still in them out of partygoers' hands, much to their annoyance.

"Bold moves, Cougar," Keeya said, holding the trash bag open for him to dispose of the cups. "You could get your lights knocked out for something like that."

"Oh, I know," Warren said. He nodded toward a scowling goth girl in the corner of the dorm. "Wednesday over there's probably sifting through her apothecary in her mind right now for the right dosage of hemlock to slip into my next drink."

"I would've said arsenic."

"You too, huh?"

They continued their housekeeper jobs until only a handful of people were left, talking amongst themselves in the kitchen. Keeya tied the last trash bag shut and left it by the open front door.

"Well, this is where I leave you," she said. "Unless you wanna ask me out for coffee or something."

Warren spotted Tucker in the hall, making strange gestures at a group of girls who looked more parts bewildered than amused. He sighed and turned his attention back to Keeya.

"I'm not who you think I am," he said. "My name's not Warren Cougar, it's Reginald Branthwaite IV, and my father owns half of this university."

"Are you stalling?" Her eyes searched his face in question, on the verge of cautious hope, maybe a low expectation.

He swallowed. "Um…yeah. Okay. Let's get coffee."

He didn't speak much the entire time, busied himself with his usual black coffee and milk. Hands shifting uneasily over the cardboard sleeve of the cup. Keeya certainly noticed, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk on their way back to campus.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Warren looked at her, surprised. "…Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"You look like you'd rather be anywhere else."

The way she said it made his heart twist. "No, it's not…I just..." He paused, unsure what his brain wanted his mouth to say. "…I'm not entirely sure I'm looking for a relationship right now. And…I don't know if that's what you're expecting or if you're cool with just being friends, or..."

Keeya raised her eyebrows. "You thought I wanted to start dating you? Sweetie, no, I'm in a committed relationship with my sociology professor."

Warren let out a huge snort of coffee and clamped his hand over his mouth to keep it from spraying everywhere. Half-choking, he signaled to give him a minute to make sure he wasn't about to literally die. "O-okay," he coughed. "I'm sorry. That was…great."

"Gotcha for a second, didn't I?"

"Point two seconds."

"I'll forgive the conceit since you're hot and all."

Warren, infinitely more relaxed now, smiled and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Like on a scale of one to ten…?"

"After that display, like, a fifteen at least."

A week or so into the beginning of classes, Warren came home to find his dorm room had been turned inside out and Tucker sat on his own bed, glancing wearily around at the clothes and books strewn about the floor. The chaos had been concentrated more to Warren's side, the things that once made a home on his desk now littering his bed and the couch.

"What the hell happened? Were we robbed?"

Tucker shook his head. "Nah, this lady came in and ransacked the place, dude. I tried to stop her but she was determined. I think she was looking for something. She was on your laptop for a long time."

Warren strode over to his desk and opened his laptop. It was still on and with a few clicks, he determined that his social media had been raided.

"Who would do this?" He scrolled through the pages of his first course assignment that had been read by the culprit. "What the fuck…?"

Keeya appeared in the doorway. "Hey, is everything okay? People are saying some woman was in here destroying you guys' things?"

"I don't think she destroyed anything," Tucker said. "She sure did wanna get into Warren's stuff, though."

Warren discovered half of his security programs were missing. In the recycling bin, thankfully, and he restored them to their original state, his brow furrowed. "Tucker, what did she look like?"

"Uh…she was average build, black hair to her shoulders, bangs, I think she had…brown eyes?"

Warren's fingers paused over the keys. He turned to Tucker and his frown deepened. "Did she look a little like me?"

Tucker and Keeya exchanged a look. He smoothed a hand over his bun and scrutinized Warren's face. "I dunno?"

"Wait, is she related to you?" Keeya asked.

The lack of emotion in Warren's chest as he pieced together what happened surprised him. He slumped in his chair, folding his arms and sighing deeply. "Yeah."

"Who is she and what did she want?"

"I think it was my sister." Warren ran a hand through his hair, dreading the incoming months if it meant having to deal with this all of the time. He should've realized it would end up this way; after their last encounter the week following his arrival into Arizona, he had the strangest sense that he wasn't going to get any rest. "She's keeping tabs on me."

"What? Why?"

He contemplated explaining the entire situation, starting with how just last year he was hospitalized for almost finding himself at the bottom of Ruria Lake and how the only one who put him there was himself. He almost opened up about a couple of weeks ago, sitting in front of his aunt's house up north in his shitty car with no air conditioning, staring through the windshield as Layla screamed at him through the window, calling him names, accusing him of being selfish, that he didn't care about the family at all, that he only decided to go to college in Arizona to play the victim card, all while Adam watched from the house.

In lieu of that, he shook his head. "She's a bitch sometimes, that's all. I mean, I knew that my whole life, but this is a new low."

The other two were quiet for a second.

Keeya cleared her throat. "Want us to be your family now?"

Tucker shrugged again. "We can get all up in your personal space and wreck your shit for you instead."

Warren grinned despite the fact that he didn't really want to smile at all. "Thanks. I'll be okay. I always am."

He reassured them that he was okay until they went off to get something to eat. He told them he'd be with them soon. When they were gone, he brought up his various social media accounts on his phone, steadily deleting them one by one. It was a temporary fix, but he needed to do it. He could handle being seen as the weirdo without the apps, but he couldn't handle any more abuse from his family.

For a second he stopped, having accidentally scrolled onto a picture of Adam with what looked to be a newborn in his arms. He admired the photo briefly, the subtle smile on his brother's face as he cradled the child with care.

Warren hesitated. Only slightly. "Yeah, fuck you, too, buddy," he muttered, deleting his own profile. Then he tossed his phone onto his bed and followed his friends out of the dorms.

[romanroybraindisease]

ok i am a hater of this szn definitely bc as u say lots of lines of dialogue seem too on the nose n there's so little nuance which is smth i had loved abt succ - there's sm theming only achieved thru subtext (n like an hr on tumblr after the eps come out).

BUTT imo i did like this ep, if only bc i liked seeing classic kendall fuckery, n shiv storyline that's,, like interesting (barring the tomshiv stuff). the kendall bit and shiv's confrontation of the boys made me feel like i was watching an older ep of succ so i liked that.

the spoonfeeding dialogue, however, did not go past me. like, when logan said 'you're almost as bad as my idiot kids' i expected him 2 start winking in the camera. that was bad and shitty and weird. and so was shiv just straight up telling tom that she was going to cry in spare rooms. i feel like in earlier szns of succ that she wouldn't have gave that info up so easily, she'd b more guarded and less outright with it. so that bit irked me yeah

okay i totally agree with your enjoyment of unhinged kendall and the shiv/boys confrontation. there were definitely a couple shining moments & funny lines in this episode that saved it from being totallyyy lost in my eyes!! if i didn’t find the whole Living+ concept so incredulous and…out of character? for Waystar's business then i would’ve been on my feet and cheering for the entirety of that kendall presentation -- i am just unfortunately unable to buy into that plotline.

even ignoring the on-the-nose dialogue, i left this episode feeling like i missed the point. idk. and you’re right about the shiv crying thing…what the hell is going on there.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Weird Noirvillah Lore #01

In some weird part of the lore of Noirvillah, pepperoni never existed till now. & can you guess who made it up? NOIR WAS THE ONE!

What happened was when noir was a hungy child who recently moved to the isles (bcs the Mortal plane frikin succs butt), all she could really think of was asnack while filled with protein & very meaty, didn't make her instantly sluggish & can let her indulge in eating while it was in a bag... So she sorta tried to look for some meat inside the Isle & guess what, she found some meat (Although she didn't know it was some random mortal's flesh but back then she didn't know what cannibalism was-) So uh... she basically took a bit of it & cut it into circles, it was tasty, but it kinda made her sick (bcs again it was HUMAN MEAT! & when yur the human offspring of a madgod u don't know about that when young)

But now pepperoni exist & is a main staple in the little city that exist in her demiplanes. She however feels very guilty about eating that slice of human meat to just make the prototype of pepperoni.

[thunbeh]

Kobold ghost butt succ

[looking4xxx]

Okay, it took a minute, butt FINALLY, a VERY seXXXy, INTENSELY IMPOSING, SERIOUSLY ADORABLE, BUTCH, VERY WELL-BUILT, SHREDDED, WICKED-HOT, HORNY, COCKY, ASSertive, MONSTER-HUNG YEEN who KNOWS how 2 DOM his prey by simply standing over him, staring down past MASSIVE pecs, HUGE, DARK, HARD, SUCC-U-lent, brown nips & past his MAGNIFICENT, GINORMOUS, JAW-DROPPING, LUST-INDUCING MONSTER-BULGE, his RAPTUROUS TEEN STENCH FILLING the air as he waits 4 me 2 beCUM SOOOOOO XXXTREMELY TURNED-ON that I begin NUZZLING, TENTATIVELY SNIFFING, then VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY HUFFING his VISIBLY SWELLING BULGE, PRESSING IT FIRMLY under my NOW WILDLY FLARING nostrils & then against my quivering, EAGER, trembling lips...!!!

"hey lil dude. need some help?"

[boost-creep]

Succubus? Succ-ur-butt.

[yttdsmut]

Does Tia have some special medicine prepared to enhance herself/her bubble butt for love life in the bedroom?

Well, I do, but whenever I suggest I use it, my partner insists it's already big enough, so I have never actually had to use it, which I guess means it's a succes? I dunno... ~/////////~

[iniquity-fr]

same feelings as last years greenkeepers where i REEEEALLY LOVE the apparel i just have almost no use for it on any of my current dragons or with most of my usual color palettes. alas

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Who.... who put this in for Room eh?

(Also ignore the ad, Fandom is stoopid when it comes to ads)

So I was reading a wiki page about Room from Boisvert (bcs I never have watched Boisvert before as IM A SCARDEY CAT- & the channel on yt just gives me ominous vibes tbh-) & I saw this- (Keep in mind I don't think this is the official wiki page for Room bcs if you know about Fandom u know that the ads there frikin succ butt, but this is all I have ig)

Uh.... who's seeing a weird black blob humanoid thing with a goofy lookin head that's supposed to represent negative emotions... H O T ? Then I realized smtn... The internet will do anything to simp for smtn... (Like I have seem with Phen in the TBOP Fandom-)