the hardest part isn't even the being alone - it is that i know i have all this love fossilizing in me, a pearl. a plum stone. it's that i want to find someone to fissure it out into; my palm an open cup.
i know one must love oneself first. i know friendships are real love. i know i know i know. but i also - so timidly - i keep picturing my life as being with someone. to hand them my heart and have them say ah, this is the kind of thing i was dreaming of.
the idea of trudging up with your allies to get a dishonor name and it's just. Stupidhead. the most childish insult ever its so funny I love it. also the idea of calling their litter HalfStupid kits is so fucking funny
[ID: Mousewhisker from Warrior Cats bows low on the ground. Bramblestar is announcing, "Mousewhisker... you had no malice in your choice, but your foolishness still lead you to betray your Clan. For this, until atonement, you are branded..."]
[ID: "STUPID HEAD." Mousewhisker chokes back a snrk and asks, "B-Bramblestar can you repeat that"]
[ID: "Stupidhead," Bramblestar declares, "Take this chance to reflect on what you have done." Mousewhisker, now Stupidhead, is desperately trying not to lose it]
The rollcake scene from ep 17 aired today, May 6th.
The anime follows the manga pretty closely with some nice little additions. Like this exchange:
Where we actually get to see Kaito accept the gift with his own hands.
Before that, look at his expression. How even when he’s caught by surprise, his eyes are always so soft and unguarded when they’re looking at Akiho.
And that gentleness carries over into how he handles her gift as well.
He’s likely thinking ‘Akiho-san made this (for me), I must be careful with it’ on top of how he’s already being careful to not even let his fingers touch hers. Because he respects her and that would be unprofessional. That would cross the line he knows not to cross <- this is a crucial point to keep in mind.
Then the way Akiho goes from nervous to overjoyed once he takes the box because this is the first thing she’s ever made for anyone.
And not just anyone but a special someone. Her special someone.
So of course, she’d be anxious over whether he would accept it. Of course, she’d be so thrilled when he did.
They didn’t even start eating yet but she’s already so happy that she was able to take one step closer in conveying her feelings to him and that he didn’t reject her.
Then the part where the scene diverges for a moment from canon. Unlike in the manga, where Akiho quickly runs away out of shyness, here she doesn’t have an excuse to hide behind.
Instead, she starts criticizing herself again. Apologizing for “saying something weird” when she did nothing of the sort.
As pointed out in the previous episode (and in chapter 60), it’s obvious that Kaito doesn’t like it when Akiho puts herself down.
Even though she really stunned him speechless this time with her request for him to laugh more, he’s already thinking of what to say to refute these negative thoughts about herself.
But unlike how he usually tries to reassure her (gently and subtly), this time he’s significantly more forward with his approach.
He puts a halt to her downward spiral by placing his hand over hers, crossing the line he has been so careful not to all this time.
He outright says to her there’s no need for her to apologize, that she didn’t do anything wrong.
And for the first time, he dares to be honest with his feelings for her, crossing that line again.
It’s just one line. But with that one line, Kaito lays himself bare before Akiho. He’s not playing the part of her servant, polite and considerate but always at an arm’s length.
He’s being himself for once, his true personal self.
And his true self wants Akiho to know how happy she’s made him.
Just with her simple gesture and her words to see him smile more, he knows how much she appreciates him. How much she cares about him.
Which is the biggest deal for Kaito because nobody has ever cared about him before. He had always been treated as a thing to be ordered around and used by others.
So to hear something so kind from the person he loves most…it makes him want to respond to that.
It seems anime!Kaito wants to reciprocate in what little way he will allow himself to (he’s staring so deeply and intently into her eyes, letting them say what he can’t) before the inevitable where he would have to separate himself from Akiho in order to save her.
There’s not enough time left for him to enjoy being with her, to show her how grateful he is for her presence in his life. He knows there are only a few chances to do that and this moment is one of them. It has to be now because if not now, then it’s never.
Even though he puts her to sleep shortly after to bar her off from inquiring further. Even though he thinks she will won’t remember him after he rewrites everyone’s memories and erases himself so telling her these feelings might’ve been pointless…he still wanted to let Akiho know at least once before she forgets.
That she made him feel loved and taught him how to love someone in return.
im in some kind of depressive episode and idk why and i feel cringe cuz the one thing thats making me smile and makes me feel less like shit is that god damn pirate
They live several more arcs past OotS and up to TBC where Mousewhisker eventually moves to RiverClan with Minnow and for that whole time they use it as their ship name