#stupid snow puns

[sumju]

[blorbologist]

Oh, the roads are salted, and winter tires are required.

Sometimes freezing rain happens, or a melt and quick refreeze, and the roads just become completely devoid of traction. And it takes a bit of time for salting to occur, especially during peak traffic (on top of downtown MTL being a hellscape of one-ways with hills); if the snow/freezing happened overnight or in the evening usually this can be avoided, but if the salters and snowploughs can't do their job? Gravity and no traction means even the best snow tires mean little. I've driven down steep country roads right after freezing rain, but you can't get me to drive in Montreal.

(But also Montrealers are notoriously aggressive and terrible drivers. Road salt is a yes, sense? Not necessarily.)

[pearlcigs]

⋆ waking up on christmas morning ft. ellie, abby, and vi — tlou discord server

the air is cold, snow sticking to the cloudy window. the sky outside was pure, the wind sneaking into the cracks of the window. ELLIE kept you close, hands wrapped around your waist with your back pressed against her chest. the blanket wrapped around both of your frames to shield you from the barren cold. you both know there's presents to be opened but neither of you really find it in you to care. they'll still be there later. you stay there for an hour or so, with her soft kisses along the back of your neck and her stupid christmas puns.

"hey babe," she snickers before she can even start the joke. "what do you call people who have a fear of santa?" she grins widely, laughing to herself knowing she had been planning on telling you this joke for weeks now. you laugh at her silliness, shaking your head, imagining the stupid grin she had on her face. "what?" you inquire. "claustrophobic." she tells eagerly, waiting for your reaction. "god, that's— that's stupid." your laughs beginning to mix with hers.

small snowflakes fell down from the sky, painting the ground white. the sun had just barely rose when you stirred awake, excitement immediately flowing through your veins. the covers are thrown off you by your own accord, the chilly air nipping at your skin. you couldn't help yourself, pulling the blankets off ABBY just as you had done to yourself. she groaned, pulling you against her in an attempt to keep herself warm with no blanket. you giggled in her ear, kissing her cheek with too much energy for her liking.

"wake up, wake up." you kiss her cheek between each word. "what time is it?" she questions, face still pressed against her pillow. "who cares, it's christmas!" you exclaim, pulling on her arm to get her up. "it's time for presents— ooh! i know exactly which one i want you to open first." you continue to pull on her. "alright, alright, i'm coming..." she lets out a small 'oomph' as she sits up, pulling you into her lap. "merry christmas, my love." she gets sweet and sappy for a moment, kissing your forehead. "we're making coffee first." she demands and you just roll your eyes.

the fire crackles, blankets askew on the floor, barely covering both of your bodies. you slept in front of the fire place, VI insisting she just had to stay up all night to catch santa. you couldn't recall when you both fell asleep, only knowing you felt safe in her arms the night before. vi was the first to wake, eyes wondering to the tree that she was just sleeping 10 feet from. presents littered the skirt of the tree, a smile forming on her face as her eyes flickered between your sleeping form and the presents.

"santa came!" she shook you awake, eliciting a groan from your sleep deprived lips. she wore a toothy smile on her face, knowing it wasn't really santa who put those presents under the tree, but you. "come onnnn. these presents better be opened by 7 am on the dot." she threatened emptily. she leaned down, kissing your face, your shoulders, your stomach, anywhere she could. with each kiss, the grogginess vanished just a little. you had to admit, seeing her this excited made your heart warmer than hot cocoa.

finished this at 10:53pm 😅 better late than never i suppose..

[polydamnory]

Xavier in the Poly!D.A.M.N. Crew Headcanons

Did I finish writing this five days ago but wait to specifically post it on the 31st just to be a dick? Maybe so. 

While he doesn’t know how to take a genuine compliment and is very prone to getting flustered by them (he can and will respond to anything nice said to him with “no u”), he isn’t actually all that affected by flirting. Dear and Gavin have now made it a competition to see who can get him to break first strictly via come ons and pickup lines. 

He is constantly making stupid ice/snow puns, sometimes even subconsciously, and it drives Damien nuts. 

He and Lasko like teaming up to plan elaborate dates/vacations for the group and he’s gotten pretty good at preemptively preventing Lasko from spinning out about some small innocuous detail (e.g. ice, mahogany, rolls, etc.). 

Has always been on the tall side, so while he does think it’s cute when someone is shorter/smaller than him (cough cough Lasko), he thinks it’s really hot when someone is taller/bigger than him (cough cough HUXLEY). 

He’s pretty prone to dry skin so Dear - who is a skincare snob, you cannot convince me otherwise - has helped him curate a routine to help with that and is much more on top of making sure he actually keeps up with it. If that sometimes means helping apply moisturizer to his face and hands when he’s too sleepy to do it himself in the morning (he is not a morning person), that’s a sacrifice they’re willing to make. 

Just like with Damien during the winter, Lasko and Freelancer can and will cling to him during the summer to keep cool. Thankfully he and Damien are just like “affection from my partners? Who am I to complain?” and more than welcome it (although Damien is a bit more tsundere about it). 

Insert obligatory he helps cool Damien off when he gets too hot hc - you cannot use the excuse that you’re too hot to be hugged anymore, Damien, your boyfriend won’t let you get away with that anymore! 

Similar to their E&E display, Freelancer has gotten pretty into making random little things with their magic just to see what they can do, and Xavier wants all of them. They mess up and are about to destroy/throw out a failed attempt at creating some little glass tchotchke? Noooooo, let him keep it! He loves seeing them experiment with their magic and wants to witness and keep as much of their progress as they’ll let him (certified mom friend/boyfriend). 

Gavin is consistently trying to convince Xavier of new ways they could incorporate his ice into the bedroom. It doesn’t take much convincing. 

We know for a fact that mans has money and he is 100% down to splurge on his partners. He knows that most of them (if not all) wouldn’t want him to spend too much on them, so he does it a bit more strategically so they don’t feel like he’s “wasting it” on them. For example, if they all were to decide they want to go to a rollarcoaster park or something, he knows that his partners won’t just let him pay for all their tickets, but they will fight a little less harder on him splurging to get them all fast passes or something of the like. 

Exact order of him falling for the group is unclear, but make no mistake, he definitely had a crush on Huxley first, even when he didn’t know him all that well before becoming team captain.

[lettucing]

okay here r all of my thoughts on a very 1999 christmas!!!

first of all the album is a 10/10, absolutely fan fucking tastic he knocked that shit outta the PARK!!!!!!! i’m absolutely startstruck. and his vibrato???? are u kidding me??? how he still has the nerve to say he can’t sing i have no idea

let it snow

- that “grab me tight” ad lib, no pun intended, has me gripped by the throat. dear god.

- amazing pick for the first track of the album

baby it’s cold outside

- three words: creamed my pants… who said that

- i have too much to say so i will say nothing at all

white christmas

- dear LORDDDD his vocals on this one are SO insanely smooth and soft and beautiful…

- one of if not the best track on the album. haven’t decided yet tho

the christmas song

- smooooooooooooooth. makes me think of slow dancing in the kitchen while making cookies …. <3

santa claus is coming to town

- jazzy n fun!!! i love it, i feel like i can hear his lil smirk while he’s singing

have yourself a merry little christmas

- SO DREAMY… makes me feel like i need a hot chocolate by the fire

- i know his stupid ass was grinning when he had to sing make the yuletide GAY

happy holidays

- THIS ONE IS SO FUN!!!! it reminds me of hanging out in the living room with family while decorating the tree and now i’m just imagining schlatt decorating… cute

- the riffs on the second “upon his back” and the last “coming down the chimney down��� ARE SO SMOOTH.

it’s the most wonderful time of the year

- CLASSIC. he hit that shit. so fun

- the drawn out lower notes with the vibrato oh my lordddddd.

[the-moon-files]

Linked Universe / GN!Reader - Random Headcanons abt the Chain! :)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 (ur here!)

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (you/they/them), Guide Reader!

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Scenarios?

Stars: Wind, Wild, Sage, C*urage, K*ridai

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: i included the link from K*oridai (faces of evil), and the brunette Link from that old cartoon tv show,

& Trigger Warnings: none known.

☆

Wind (Wind Waker):

Misses being a big brother

LMAOOO I CAME FOR UR THROAT HAHAAA

ok chill chill he's doing okay

He's just not used to being the youngest in any given group, he used to be the oldest kid in charge of the younger ones and his little sister too

But dont get him wrong! He rlly does love the advantages that come with it,

and when he's feeling down abt not being older u usually cheer him up by reminding him he can be the biggest little shit he wants and every single Link will forgive him once he pulls out his baby seal eyes lmao

Ur the easiest to rope into horse playing/goofing off and he's very happy abt that

The others can be too serious for too long so he appreciates how u and him lighten them up by trying to give each other noogies (he loses most of the time)

As soon as Wind found out the others could play instruments, he immediately demanded they do campfire songs every night lol

(Most of the time one person caves, even just to idly play smth)

Likes inventing weird new games to play that'll convince as many other people to particpate, he used to do it back home too, like finding the prettiest rock on the island, that way his grandma and even adults could play too :)

Needs to sleep beside someone at night, bc he secretly likes it, back on his adventure going to sleep all by himself (unlike living with his grandma/sister) always was a little hard for him

Very hard to wake up in the morning, sleeps in the latest out of all the Links

("I'm a growing boy? Ofc i need my sleep, whats ur excuse??" @ the other Links who sleep in late lol)

Likes to sew! He's still learning, but his grandma used to teach him how so he could help her keep up with his growth spurts/recklessness tearing his clothes up

Idolizes u forever if you embroider, and will watch u like those videos of someone's cat who's fascinated by watching owner craft smth lol (like this ⚫️v⚫️)

Enjoys making stoic people crack their persona and laugh

Also has the wheeziest laugh youve ever heard, it makes u laugh every time, even when he started laughing over a dumb pun

Oh yeah, makes a foul amount of dad jokes for someone whos only like 14 💀

(He once managed to break Time and Legend, which then broke Wars and Twi, and it just continued down the Chain until everyone was crying or on the ground, he wears that shit like a badge and it literally made his confidence go 📈 puffed his chest out and everything lol)

Wild (Breath of the Wild):

U already know everything there is to know abt him??

I dont even have to say it, and it shows when ur around him lol

Like he'll go to do smth stupid like shield surf down death mountain in a unknown Hyrule, and before anyone can even realize thats what he's planning to do you've caught and stopped him and made a compromise to shield surf down some snow bluffs later instead

Or when u know he's gotten new ingredients in some other Link's Hyrule and is going to try and cook with them tonight, so u help him make a regular meal of smth else along with so the boys dont suffer stomaches

Like u can absolutely predict his bullshit all the time, just imagine the most adrenaline junkie thing he could do in that moment with the combination of things around him and you always know what tf he's up to, ur always right lol

Ur the only one who can get him to stop the chaos (besides maybe Time, weirdly enough Sky/Hyrule/Four bc they are the least likely to tell him to stop, so when they do, its usually a very, very bad idea)

Likes hair ornaments, he's got long hair for a reason after all

Likes u to style his hair, and esp if u teach him how to braid or do diff styles <333

He loves that u help cook/at least prep, and u make sure another Link helps too, bc thats a lot of ppl to make food for with little to no help 💀

(Makes u ur fav foods at even the slightest mention of them, like u wont even have to say ur craving Link's already whipped the pan out best housewife fr)

One of the few Links who's adventurous with his clothing, and trying new stuff

Wild was worried abt his Champion tunic getting messed up but was sad he couldn't wear it as much anymore

So u handmade him a new shirt that imitates the old one but with some new designs to represent the Chain! :)

He started crying.

He either hugs so lightly he seems like he's not enjoying it (no true, he's just trying to be polite)

Or he squeezes so hard be pops ur back and nearly breaks a rib

U got the latter for that shirt lol

Any new thing he doesnt remember how to deal with, like how to sew (he knows 1 stitch help), how to wash clothes (dont mix whites and blacks, and colors), how to soothe headaches/muscle aches etc.

He just wanders pitifully over to ur side and looks pitiful lol

Like he's a confused and saddened puppy

And just holds up whatever mess he's made like, "im so sorry, i dont know how to do this pls"

Bc he trusts u to know (the other Links may be hit or miss too tbh lmao)

And ur the least likely to clown him for it too, at least nothing he doesnt also find funny

Sage (Tears of the Kingdom):

So sue me, i enjoy this stupid-definitely-not-canon-unhinged-Link thats done with everyones bullshit and wants to be a hermit

SUEEE MEE ABT ITTTTT✨️

The first time u saw his hair nest and immediately clapped ur hand over u mouth in shock and tried to take a brush to it on sight

He fucking hissed at you.

Feral bitch.

Sage isnt like that all the time, but he was certainly the most distrustful and prickly out of all the Links

(U could smell it was like a defense mechanism from his adventure/past from a mile away, and knew with time that it'd fade away into his true self... like how u just knew Wild that well too)

U are the only person allowed to casually touch him, he shys away from the other Links, let alone strangers,and the first he allowed to help him with his hair

Tbh after u washed it out and got tangles and mats out and cut split ends off etc.

He almost teared up, and was extremely confused why

Def the type to not have realized he felt insecure lowkey abt it until it was fixed (he also was embarrassed to say he didnt rlly know how to take care of it)

Energy of a stray feral cat that leaves dead birds on ur doorstep without fail every morning and u leave a food bowl out in hopes he'll actually be your cat 💀

Extremely protective of you, and eventually the Chain, to the point where he might set someone's hair on fire or use runes on them

Like not enough to seriously injure but enough to scare tf out of ppl and have them running for their lives

(Did he literally growl at someone when they tried to flirt with you?? ... why is Twi encouraging him.)

Was unnerved by Wild at first but slowly got used to him and often butts into whatever private convo u two are having

Like just casually struts up and plops his head on ur shoulder and waits for attention, may complain loudly depending on how grumpy he is that day

(Wild's not getting jealous and constantly hogging u for cooking to get even more time with you what-)

Okay but unfortunately

Once those 2 got comfy with each other, they started tag teaming everyone

Like u can now bet that if an explosion happens in the distance, Sage definitely caused it, and if he's there, then Wild's there making him the explosives

(Same for if Wild's there, then Sage's there)

Def the Link that likes showing the most skin, he "gets overheated easily" - local half naked man justifies his nakedness

(coughtotallynototherreasonslikebeingshirtlessaroundyouallthetimecough)

Absolutely grievous clowning on the other Links, like its getting into bullyinggg 😭

His words are E rated for Everyone, no ones safe not even you

Sage: "wait, all those rings and nobody's ever put one on you? And you've never put on one someone else??🤔🤔"

Legend: ...😦

The rest of the Chain: 💀😭😶

Time, trying to hide he's choking on laughter so hard he's abt to fall into the firepit

Will occasionally team up with Wild to make a protective little border on either side of you while in towns/new Hyrules

U once offered to sing/hum for him after a nightmare while it was ur turn on watch (he sleeps up trees btw) and after u switched off w/other Link, u both went to edge of camp to sleep next to each other and he had the best sleep of his life like that

Now demands begs u to sing him to sleep every night, wont take "i dont sound that good tho" for an answer

Courage (The Legend of Zelda, 1989 Cartoon TV show):

Yeah... he's here too.

Just dont read this tbh

Enjoys being ✨️special✨️ by being the only hero twink out here with brunette hair

Was insecure abt it being curly/wavy until u slowly built his confidence

Bc he's got the most confidence in his strength, but not in much else tbh 😭

Actually will randomly have moments of responsibility or capability you didnt expect out of him bc he can be so silly and jokey all the time

Youll be lost as hell and he just "hey its ok the stars look like this so we go this way" and it works

Like the type of person u sort of avoid relying on bc he's like a playful jock type and then they randomly show theyre the captain of the team for a reason

Dont ask why, but hes good at knitting, shhhh no, no, no explanation he just secretly is he wont even tell u why or how or when he learned this he just "hehe, wouldnt u like to know princeyyy/princesssss/your majestyyyy"

Hyrule, and rest of Chain standing by, went to talk to one of the Great Fairies in a Hyrule once to try and get some info abt where to camp tonight or where nearest town was and before he could get close enough to ask,

Courage was already yelling like "YOOOO BIGGEST FAIRY WHATS UP?! u mind giving some poor lost fellas like us somewhere to go with ourselves tonight??"

They kept talking super casually and she laughed so hard that she let u guys stay near her that night to camp and be under fairy protection like no fairy boy Link needed 💀

Everyone was shocked, and thats how u all found out Courage is rlly good with fairies/their best friend no matter the Hyrule

Every time u guys learn smth new abt him it feels so unexpected, like out of left field or smth

It just never seems to fit his usual persona, or at least not what youd expect from him

So needless to say the first time u guys learned he could talk to magical objects that were powerful enough (like the fucking triforce)-

(this was apparently so normal he literally lived with a piece of it just in his room all the time????)

Has weird mixture of country boy vs. royal prince sensibilities?

It alarmed several Links. 💀

He can talk to Fi.

(Sky and you nearly cried)

Like he lived in the castle alongside Zelda so he inherited some spoiled/etiquette stuff, but he still would absolutely go splash in mud puddles in the rain

Would literally do fucking anything if it meant youd give him a kiss on the cheek

Likes to hug you a lot too, with his huge ass arms lifting u up (no he does not care how much u weigh ur going UP) and spinning u around

Its his favorite, almost as much as kisses

No but he's slay fucking Majora to get a kiss, like it's actually unbelievable and kinda endearing how excited he gets if u promise him one lmao

Koridai (Link: The Faces of Evil):

Omg not them putting Link's name in the title of the gameee i didnt know that 😭😭

Geezzz,, i dont know what im on

But ig heres that other silly ass Link if anyone feels like reading it

Will also fight any god, including Hylia, for a kiss

Actually astoundingly good at strategizing

Like after a few times in heat of battle him organizing Links, Time and Wars practically jumped him to include him in planning shit

He was similar to Courage to in that he just was cracking jokes all the time u didnt expect it, also he's significantly more sarcastic than Courage

U introduced him to dark humor and the laugh he laughed practically burst out of him, he looked shocked by his own laugh lmao

So he also now has a streak of dark humor he shows when u talk for while/sees someone also enjoys it

Its like his not-so-guilty-pleasure

Really good at baking? He apparently learned a lot of miscellaneous skills to better court someone and he now uses them fully to seduce you,

thru gift giving mostly, its is love language besides acts of service :)

(All Links do some amount of acts of service tho <3)

Rlly good at styling hair surprisingly, and at shield surfing??? What

Actually down to try Wild's experimental dishes...

And by that i mean he pranks the rest of you by sneaking the inedible bits into ur food

U may or may not have nearly choked him out for it and now he doesnt do it to you, and even was trying to act all pitiful abt it like "sorry lovely, but i just wanted to tease u bc ur so cute!! 🥺👉👈"

Like,, stfu u little shit 💀

He has the energy of a male orange cat, dont ask why he just is, and specifically the orange cat getting on top of the fridge or stuck between the the screen door and glasss door comically or smth 😭

Hes also loud as hell

One of the worst at stealth unless he just keeps his mouth shut completely, like his whispering is loud

He proclaims his affections very loudly too, like gettin u flowers and chatting ur ear off with what he likes abt u lol

No, like he can go for 20 minutes or more if u let him, u better stop him before he gets into the personality based compliments

Bc those sound wayyy too personal to be aired out in public ngl, like its so soft and domestic itll kill u lol

And he means every word too 👀

☆

I HATE THIS NEW FEATURE OR FUNCTION I SWEAR THIS DIDNT HAPPEN BEFOREEE!!!

😭😭 U ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHAT IT IS BY NOW, IT FUCKING POSTED MY DRAFT BEFORE IT WAS READY TO GO

God fuck this hellsite stop doing this meee

Thats it im just do what i do for the other blog and write it smwhere else and then copy paste onto the post this is ridiculoussss 😒😒

Well anyway, i hope if u read this before i updated and actually FINISHED THIS u come back and read it again!! :(

Sorry guys, but blame tumblr pls before u blame me 😔

(Yeah theres a lot of emojis leave me alone i feel strongly abt this)

Peace out,

🐤 Peep

I think ill start signing off my name ig, unless u guys wanna call me Moon that works too

[hers-underwraps]

WAKE UP EVERYONE IT'S OCTOREVIEW TIME!!

HAZARDOUS HABITATS MY BELOVED

(I know this post is LONG overdue (it's been sitting in my drafts since November) but I was taking a break sorry)

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE.

HAZARDOUS HABITATS MORE LIKE A HAZARD FOR MY HEART

This episode is absolutely one of my favourite Above and Beyond episode because it had so much to offer. Aside for the fact that it was absolutely adorable there were so many authentic character moments for both Dashi and Shelligton that I was genuinely going feral.

ALSO for anyone that ships Dashton this is THEIR episode. This combo is so iconic; they're such cuties and can talk about their passions effortlessly with each other. Genuinely love them so much.

Right from the get-go the episode is set up perfectly, they're both going out to get some photos for shellington's creature collection in extreme habitats. Dashi loves photography and extreme environments, and Shellington loves niche creatures and his collection; it's a win-win mission for both of them.

“Don’t worry shellington I can get you your photos in any conditions, extreme wind, extreme rain, extreme snow-“

They're so cute and passionate, Shellington is like "I really want these photos but they're lowkey impossible to get" and Dashi's like "heh buddy don't sweat it. I've got you bro"

“No worries, Tweak upgraded my wandercam to handle the heat, the cold, the wet pretty much anything so I say let’s go!”

LIKE THEY'RE JUST SO AHHHHHHH

Massive shoutout to Shellington to having so many loser moments in this episode as well.

E.g. He getting scared by the thorny devil (like bro I thought you were an expert on these things) and Dashi picking up the lid after he spills the water everywhere

PLUS THE ULTIMATE LOSER MOVE

Him being like "Erm be careful, it's really slippery here 🤓☝️" and his goofy ass just instantly fell into a puddle

He's honestly a little pathetic throughout the whole episode and Dashi has to pick him up (they are literally girl boss and malewife)

Then oml there was this when they were trying to get more photos but they had to climb because of the rocks

“You mean up there?!?" *gulp*

(He's like damn girl are you being fr right now?!?)

“Ah, sure. we’ll use our climbing claws! Easy peasy”

LIKE SHE SAYS THAT AND WINKS AT HIM LIKE?!?! (OML I'M NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS)

“Ah, right easy peasy…”

HE KNOWS HE AIN'T BUILT FOR THIS. Plus to top it all off when he's climbing up the rocks he's like

“Easy peasy, is making me queasy".

Genuinely them at the tepui's was genuinely so assuming. They're being stupid, falling in puddles, messing with each other, watching this poor pebble toad on the camera and being like

"Oooh toad" 😯

"AHH tarantula" 😧

"Omg she's falling! Bro does she need help?" 😨

"Nah she's alright, they do that sometimes" 😐

*toad starts drowning * "how about now?" 😰

"oh yeah NOW she's trouble, she can't swim lol" 😬

It was such a we share a single brain cell moment but hey they got their photo. Then at that end of all of it when the toad is telling them what a good climber she is and shellington says "heh, at least that makes one of us". He's so comedic throughout the whole episode.

Honestly, both of them are so casual with each other. They can make jokes and puns which we don't usually get a lot from these two. Dashi's lingo isn't as serious and she's openly going on rants about topics throughout the episode (which again is great because we love dorky Dashi moments). Shellington is a lot more willing with trying uncomfortable things (Especially after watching the Kilimanjaro climb, shellington was just outright refusing to do anything he wasn't familiar with for half of the episode).

All of this shows how comfortable they are with each other, they are more authentic and vulnerable which is a major kudos to the quality of their relationship.

THEN there was the Sistema Huautla

OMG just look at how happy she is! Like yes! Deepest cave in the western hemisphere! Let’s jump right in!

Also a quick side note, why did they make the Sistema Huautla look so shallow. I get it's would be hard to do but it's 1560 metres deep? THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING!!?!?! ORIGINALLY, I thought Shellington was being a bit of wuss but oml you would NEVER catch me in here.

ANYWAY, back to them.

Despite the Sistema Huautla being that deep Dashi's like "yeah we'll just climb down there to get our photos" (Although I guess she's really just going back to her roots)

“We still have our climbing claws so easy peasy!”

(She's so nonchalant about all of these extremes. It's funny. Shellington's like "hey these are some of the most dangerous habitats in the world" and she's deadass like "easy peasy")

“Where have I heard that before”

He's so the voice of reason like "girl bffr this AIN'T easy peasy"

She's honestly just thriving, landing like a pro and smiling the whole time, completely unfazed; it's just so Dashi.

Then the ledge breaks and shellington nearly falls to his death...

Nice.... (help he's so damsel in distress coded)

Dashi's like ah well shit I can't get you out of this one by myself...

The change up in their attitude is so crazy they go from happy go lucky yay we’re in a cave let’s beg the blind scorpion for photos to damn these extreme habitats are actually dangerous. We might die.

They call the crew and Ryla's on their way to help them out but obviously, she's not going to get their before that tiny ledge breaks away.

Then there's this scene where they need to weigh up saving the photos or shellington. Shellington's all for keeping the photos (even at the expense of himself) but Dashi pulls through with a classic Dashi moment (I love it when Dashi has moments the relate well back to the OG series (well the few dashi centred episodes anyway). It was very manta ray episode core)

“Saving you is more important then saving the photos”

She ejects those photos they worked so hard to get (much to shellington's despair) and gets him down to the bottom safely. Gotta love her "sacrifice everything to save the ones I care about" mentality Then Ryla gets there and everything is aye-okay.

Tweak was so silly and casual when these two finally rescued.

“Hi guys, guess you two will do anything to get a photo of a critter”

She summed up their dynamic so well it's great.

It's genuinely so funny how chill the girls are throughout these extreme situations. It's so in character too. I can imagine if it was a different combination of characters they would be freaked. But these three? Ryla, Dashi, Tweak? Yeah, they're not that phased at all.

Then when they were wrapping everything up and showing all of their work to the others (because thank got the camera and survived falling down the 1560m cave) they were so adorable.

Shellington was so proud of all the photos they managed to get in 1 day (like yes guys we slayed so hard) then when he realised he actually got the photo of the scorpion he shoved everyone out of the way

Just look at how happy he is!

Another side note: This episode was so pretty! I thoroughly enjoyed this scene in the ray, the aesthetic was immaculate. All the places they visited were so pretty and cool too!

Finally as a little cherry on top, Dashi's on an extreme adventure high after all this excitement and she starts going on a rant (gosh I love it when she rants, dorky Dashi for the win). They can both be such dorks when they are on a roll which is something I adore about them.

“Then why stop now? We can climb up Mount Everest, the highest altitude mountain in the world and find some Himalayan jumping spiders !”

He's just horrified. They nearly died and now she wants to go and climb Mount Everest. She's just a lil crazy and obsessive, just a lil...

“Oh thanks, but I’ve had enough extreme adventure for one day. The next thing I’m climbing into is my bunk”

Just look at those glares. It's so funny bye.

I love how they are both so obsessive over their passion it makes them such a perfect pair. Shellington is willing to risk dying for his research and Dashi's ready to put herself in extremely life-threatening situations and just do it all again for her photos.

Tweak said it herself. They really are willing to do anything for their passion.

And for each other.

(They are so stupidly in love. Lord help me.)

Anyways, this episode is in my top 5 for Above and Beyond. 10/10 thoroughly enjoyed it. Nearly died because of how good it was.

Thats all I have to say for now.

Byeeeee

[sociopathicartist]

Breakfast Combo (sans one shot part 2)

“What did you plan on doing when you got up to the surface?” You looked at Sans, seeing his side profile clearly as he was busy staring up at the night sky.

Sans took a deep breath. “i didn’t think about it too much. when i was younger i wanted to come up here and get a nice house with papyrus. go back to college and get a higher degree, maybe become a professor.”

You raised an eyebrow, your gaze matching up with his when he looked over to you. “You? Sans, the laziest man I know, a professor?”

He laughed softly, his gloved hands moving to rest over his ribcage. “yeaaahhhh, i know. i guess things just changed.”

That was one way to sum up the long cycle of his dreams getting killed. The two of you stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Sans?”

“hmm?”

You paused for a minute, looking away from him and back to the night sky, the stars almost twinkling. “I don’t want things to change.”

Sans didn’t respond for a moment. He took a deep breath, ready to joke about how deep that was or make a stupid pun, but he stopped himself. Now wasn’t the right time. “really?”

“Really. Do you think it’s selfish of me to hope that things never change between us?”

Between the two of you.

Best friends, platonically, for the rest of your days, never wanting any more. That’s what you wanted, right?

You held back the urge to say something more. To finally put it out there.

“nah, s’ not selfish.” He trailed off, his voice getting a bit quieter. “i don’t want things to change either.”

You woke up.

The light was shining through the car window, small bumps from the road shaking the car a bit. You must have fallen asleep during the drive to the ski lodge.

Your lips curled down a bit at the dream. It was an old memory of you and Sans. You weren’t sure if he even remembered it himself, it was really long ago.

“honey, we’re here.” Stretch flicked you on the forehead, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You looked at him, yawning and stretching out with what room you could in the car. “Alright… I’m up.”

The snow was heavy and almost fluorescent white when you stepped out of the car after everyone else, wandering on back to see everyone grabbing their luggage as the wind beat against you, feeling like small needle pricks to your skin. Is Fell’s gym bag seriously shaped like a mustard packet?

“DO YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH-“

“I’VE GOT IT. GO AHEAD AND CHECK INTO THE LODGE, BLUE.” Papyrus quickly cut Blue off, grabbing your suitcase and handing it to you.

Blue meandered off with the rest of the crew, leaving you and Papyrus to trail behind with your things. You liked the one-on-one time with him.

“Thanks, Papyrus. You’re way stronger than I am.” You smiled at Papyrus, seeing that his gaze was focused on the path ahead of you.

“I DO NOT HAVE ANY MUSCLES, BUT THANK YOU, HUMAN.”

You laughed, finding it a bit endearing with how blunt he was. “I know you

don’t have any. Are you excited to ski?”

“YES!” Papyrus answered quickly, a proud look on his face when he glanced down at you. “THOSE SLIPPERY SLOPES WILL NOT EVEN THINK TO QUESTION WHO IS ABSOLUTELY SHREDDING THEM.”

Well, alright then. Both of you chatted until you got caught up with the group inside, seeing everyone making small bicker out in the common area.

“can’t believe we paid a fuck-ton for these rooms and we can’t even get to them with an elevator,” Fell complained, a bit of an annoyed expression as he glared at the carpeted stairs.

“YOU NEED THE EXTRA STEPS IN YOU, BIG BONES.” Blue jabbed, his tone a bit demeaning to Fell.

“where the fuck did that come from?”

“WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP.”

Here they go again. You looked around your group, seeing Edge and Papyrus chatting away, and Stretch monitoring Blue and Fell’s little quarrel.

Where was Sans?

“wanna head upstairs?” His voice rang out, on cue with your thoughts.

You jumped, turning around to see Sans who had conveniently snuck behind you, his voice still ringing solid throughout your ears. “Yes. I’m not sure why we’re all standing in the middle of the common lounge.”

Sans adjusted his backpack on his shoulders, holding out his hand to you. “come on, you know you wanna grab it.”

You gave a quick glance to your friends, all of them occupied. They wouldn’t notice if you left for a bit if you and Sans left. You looked back at him, your hand reaching out to fold over his white mitten.

With a weird, sinking feeling that you had become familiar with, and a flash of black before the world around you faded back in, you were upstairs. The hallway merged into a balcony that overlooked the common room, your friends still down there conversing. You both started to make your way off the balcony and into the carpeted hallway.

“You got a room next to mine, right?” You asked, following after Sans as you walked down the hallway, glancing at the door numbers and some of the images hung on the wall.

“yep.” His voice echoed down the hallway. “you practically begged me to get one next to yours, remember?”

You frowned. You totally did do that. “I did not.”

“please please please get a room next to mine so that i’m not alone in the dark, scary ski lodge stuck next to some other random weirdos that i live with and i definitely don’t talk to every day.” He mocked you in a silly voice, his hands over each other to make a pleading sign. “i’ll be so sad and alone in my comfortable bed.”

You rolled your eyes, not listening to his over-dramatization of you. “The accuracy. It burns.”

“scary dark room.”

“Stop it.” You stopped outside the door to his room, slowly backing away to yours as he stared up at you.

“gonna come ski with me in a bit?” Sans asked you, cocking his head to the side a bit.

You pretended to ponder for a bit, already knowing what you’d say. “Not sure. You’ll push me down into the snow.”

Sans scoffed, shaking his skull ‘no’. “i would never do that to you… probably.”

“I’m going to get changed into proper clothes for skiing.” You opened up the door to your room, dragging your suitcase behind you. “I’ll come ski with you in a bit.”

“time waits for snowmen-“

You closed your door, silencing his words before he could finish the punchline for his joke. Successfully cut off.

The room you were staying in was way nicer than the one at the hotel, your eyes scanning over everything as you set your suitcase on your bed, unpacking the clothes you needed. The mere thought of getting to stay in this ski lodge for an entire week with your friends was exciting. All of you needed a vacation.

Your phone buzzed and you took it out of your pocket, looking down to see the text message.

tall skeleton #1 - WHERE DID YOU GO?

Ah. You should probably get ready then.

“For the last time Edge, the ski-lift will not fall.” You tried your best to console your friend, pulling him to sit down on the ski-life as it lifted the both of you into the air.

He gripped onto the sidebars, worried the seat would fall down and off the line. “THIS IS A HORRIBLE WAY OF GETTING BACK UP. WHY COULDN’T HAVE WE JUST WALKED?”

You raised an eyebrow, giving him a look. “Go on, try walking next time. See how well that goes for you.”

When you hopped off the lift, you held out your hand for him to grab. It was a bit funny seeing him so worried about something considering how bold and confident he was. “WE SHOULD GO SKI DOWN AGAIN, THAT WAS FUN.”

You shook your head and stretched out a bit. “Thanks, but I’m gonna take a break for a bit. My legs hurt, I’ll catch up with you later.”

Edge shook his head and scoffed. “IMAGINE.”

Stupid skeletons and their lack of muscles.

You slowly made your way back inside the lodge, the waves of laughter from outside dying out to almost nothing but the crackles of the warm fireplace. You had been out skiing for a long while already, and the sky outside was turning to dusk. You didn’t plan on going back out and skiing again tonight, instead wanting to relax and soothe your muscles. You shuffled your way back up to your room, not wasting any time to change into some pyjamas. You walked over to your window to peek outside, wanting to check out the nighttime snowy view.

Was someone in the hot tub?

You leaned a bit closer to the glass, trying to see who the hell was out here when it was this cold outside and was almost pitch black.

Oh my god.

You scurried out of your room, down the hall and stairs, and rushed out of the lodge, coming to a stop when you finally reached your way up to the hot tub. He was sitting in there, relaxing with his eye sockets closed. You stood with your feet by the water, standing on the damp concrete border.

“Sans? What are you doing out here?”

Sans opened his eye-sockets, looking up to you. He had the same permanent grin, but his expression looked a bit different. “jus’ felt like sitting in the hot water. there a problem?”

You shook your head. Why did you feel nervous all of a sudden? It was just Sans. “No… No problem.”

“you didn’t ski with me.” Sans remarked, calling you out. “i thought you wanted to hang out with me?”

You pursed your lips, slowly crouching down. “I mean, we have the whole week.”

He tilted his head a bit to the side. “i was worried you’d get cold or hurt. you got all these squishy warm bits to you.”

“That was an extremely weird way of phrasing that.” You looked down at the water, watching it bubble up from the little jacuzzi blowers. You slowly dipped your legs in the water, going to sit down on the smooth ledge, getting your pyjamas all wet.

“I’m sorry. I was in a bit of a funk and everyone else kept grabbing me to ski with them.” You apologized, feeling a bit guilty for skimming out on him.

Sans watched as you got in the hot tub, tilting his skull to the side in slight confusion. “water you hoppin’ in for?”

You shrugged, swaying your feet against the grind of the bubbles. “It’s warmer in here, and my legs hurt bad from skiing all day. I want to sit down.”

Sans snorted. “pfft. imagine.”

“All of you have said that same thing to me today but in different forms.” It was almost like you were being made fun of for being a human, which was an odd reversal.

“well, we are the same people in different fonts, so i’m not surprised.” He shrugged, swirling his hand around in the water.

You didn’t answer, staring at him in silence. It was dark outside now, and the blue light from the hot tub was illuminating him from the bottom angle. You felt a weird twinge the longer that you looked at him. He looked different right now for some reason. He looked extremely attractive.

You nudged yourself to slide closer to him, sitting up next to him with your arms touching. Sans glanced over at you, taking a moment or two to think over his words.

“that letter you wrote for me a while back,” Sans started, his voice a bit quieter than usual. “i still uh, have it. i read it sometimes when i’m not feeling well.”

“Really?” You asked. “That was a few years ago. I didn’t think you still had it.”

Sans shrugged again, a few water droplets rolling off his shoulder blades. “i dunno. i didn’t bring it up back then when you gave it to me. i really should have, i wish i had. nobody- nobody ever…”

He paused. Nobody had ever treated him like you did, let alone give him a heartfelt letter that he re-reads a lot more than he’d like to admit. Nobody ever paid close attention to him. Not until you.

“you just… i know i’m not good at sentimental stuff, but you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.” He stared down at the water, watching it bubble and swirl around.

God, it was really cold outside.

You smiled softly, reaching your hand under the water to grab onto his, your fingers tightly intertwining with his phalanges. “I’m really happy I met you, Sans.”

He finally stopped avoiding your gaze, looking at you with wide and wobbly pinpricks. “yeah?”

“Yeah…” You felt a weird swirl in your stomach again.

Say it.

Say something before the moment gets ruined so that you won’t linger in regret when your time passes. Regret that you never said anything. Regret when he finds someone else.

You dragged his hand off to his side, still holding onto it tightly as you scooted up, sliding yourself onto his lap to face him.

Sans faltered, his expression going from relaxed and content to shocked. “whoa buddy- you’re awful, uh, close there.”

“Am I?” You stared down at him, a small smile on your face. “I didn’t notice. Maybe this hot tub is too small for us.”

“yeah,” Sans snorted, looking away for a few seconds before looking back to you, his freehand going to wrap around your waist to pull you in closer. “not my fault i’m big-boned, hehe.”

“Maybe it’s time to lay off on the ketchup.” You laughed, the mood between you two becoming comfortable again.

Sans stared up at you in silence, the area under his eye sockets tinted a light blue that was barely noticeable unless you were close like you were to him. “there really isn’t anyone like you, y/n.”

The small space between you two closed off, your lips pressing against his teeth.

It was uh… a unique experience, that's for sure. You weren’t expecting a normal kiss considering the fact that he literally had no lips at all, and his smile never moved or faltered unless he got hurt, but instead, a nice, almost tingly feeling rushed through you. It was good. It was kind of intoxicating.

You had to pull away first, the kiss being held for so long that you were almost convinced he was not going to pull away at all.

“Check it, now you can tell all your friends at work that you finally got some action.” You joked.

Sans’ gaze on you was loving, and he didn’t respond for a little bit. “uh, yeah. hehe.”

You cocked your head to the side a bit, not sure if he understood what you just said. “Hanging in there okay?”

He nodded, letting go of your hand so that he could trace his phalanges along your jawline before resting to cup the side of your face. “yeah, just thinking. we have the whole week here left. when are we gonna tell everyone?”

“Tell everyone?” You paused, not realizing the repercussions of the situation. “We should probably wait until we get home. I don’t want them to get any weird ideas while we are all out skiing.”

“that’s probably a good idea.” He leaned in again, giving you another quick kiss. “so… we’re a thing? what do you humans call it? datemates?”

“So close. That’s what you guys call it, but good try.” You leaned into his hand, finding it to be a bit warm for some reason. “But yes. Datemates is nice.”

Sans chuckled, finding it a bit odd at how you leaned into his hand. He had never done this before with anyone. “cool.”

You both sat there in each other's arms for a while, talking and giggling over random things with several kisses in between words, some for the moment, others to make up for how long you went without being able to give that sort of affection. The problem of telling everyone else would wait for later. Both of you were happy right now.

Hello! Sorry it took so long to come out, but tysm for reading!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for lieing about my country of origin?

🇨🇦🥶 <- so I know it's me!

This is kinda stupid but a friend said it will start a bad habit of lieing, I'm taking advantage of the fact that because I'm white passing I don't get offensive immigrant questions and I just shouldn't have so let's see.

About a year ago I (24nb metis aka white and first nations canadian. Also native American but it's blurry. Its important later.) and my partner (24f white) went to walmart for groceries. I love the cold, have been raised in the cold temps of the Midwest my whole life and I have a autoimmune disorder which makes me much warmer than everyone else so despite it being 32° outside, I was in shorts and a t-shirt. My partner thinks I'm crazy and I have a bad habit of freezing her out but we compromise.

Obviously wearing a T-shirt and shorts when it's snowing outside gets some attention and this elderly white couple playfully asked how I wasn't frozen solid as some sweet small talk but I'm socially anxious and just blurted out that I was from Canada and this was nothing. They just laughed in surprise and nodded and went on. That was a lie and my partner playfully chided me for it. No, I'm not a Canadian immigrant and I was born in America but as you can see, my family has deep ties to Canada and my grandmother is a Canadian immigrant. Should I of lied? No but it was harmless, I panicked and I didnt want to explain a disorder or get too deep into conversation with strangers so I just said it and moved on. No harm done.

Flash forward to today where I, my partner and a mutual friend (23 ftm, white but reconnecting to his distant Cuban and carribean heritage. He identifies as "spicy white".) were talking in a group call about our families histories. One side of my friends family immigrated to America about 4+5 generations back from Cuba with the other from Scotland and Ireland and my partners family history is blurry but she knows they came from Scotland and Germany. My partner playfully brought up my lie from a year ago and the whole tone shifted. My friend got mad at me and brought up how his great great grandmother struggled in America because she wasn't white passing, she immigrated from a non-white country and people treated her horribly. I tried to bring up that both my grandmothers were natives and my immigrant grandmother also struggled with racism due to being first nations but he kept interrupting me saying that because I'm white passing and I picked Canada as a place I fake-immigrated from, I'm taking advantage of the fact that white old couple would treat me better than Mexican immigrants or middle Eastern immigrants.

Eventually the call ended and we side stepped the topic but tension is still present and I don't know how to feel now. Obviously I respect immigrants and i have a high amount of immigrant people in my family, not just Canadian/first nations but married in from Poland and Mexico. I know I shouldn't of lied but I feel like my friend is just being a bit chronically online right now and acting like I don't respect any immigrants. Ever since he started reconnecting, he's gotten more and more trigger happy with racist jokes, calling people racist for no reason and just all around... off. I totally get generational trauma and the pain of discovering your history around colonization and genocide but its getting weird. My partner says she didn't see the harm in my little, no pun intended, white lie but doesn't wanna be involved because she's white and this issue has some racist undertones. I don't know if this is just a symptom of his discovery surrounding himself and being in some very overly sensitive groups or I was truely being insensitive to even being passively racist towards other POC.

So, was I the asshole for lieing to some strangers that I'm from Canada just to not have to get too deep into why I wanna wear shorts in the snow like a weirdo?

What are these acronyms?

[purpleprincessonfyre]

Liane Pissing Off Ji-Hoon and Vice Versa 🔥❄

A tale of two frenemies, featuring @calmbeforezero and cameos from @ask-missparker

WARNING: May contain ice puns, snow jokes and general frenemy fuckery. And mild threat.

Ji-Hoon: This stupid game! How do you keep winning?

Liane: Years of practice...no seriously years.

Ji-Hoon: Dammit!

Liane: Hey Ji...

Ji-Hoon: Don't you dare...

Liane: You could always just...Let it Go...

Ji-Hoon: *leaps up* That's it! I will turn that smiling face into an ice sculpture!

Liane: *runs away laughing*

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon showing off a potential new suit*

Liane: You look really stupid.

Ji-Hoon: *grumbles* I feel it.

Mia: He doesn't.

Liane: You look like an absolute tool.

Ji-Hoon: Mia will you tell her?

Mia: Stop it, Felton.

Liane: You look like one of The Incredibles..

Ji-Hoon: *sighs*

Liane: Frozone!

Ji-Hoon: Right if you make one more comment about me in these suits, or just about me in general- listen to me! I am taking those shiny Louboutain heels- you hear me, and I will shove them up your ass! Okay?

Liane: *goes silent*

Mia: Yeah it's just a case of tweaking it here, lengthening the sleeve here, we'll do that of course.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah. It's not bad, is it?

Liane: Yeah it isn't actually. *pause* Jack Frost.

Ji-Hoon: Right c'mere!

Liane: *squeals, running away*

❄

🔥

Mia: Dinner's ready. Liane go get Ji-Hoon from his room- oh wait no-

Liane: Too late! *runs to his door* Ji-Hoon? *knocks five times rhythmically* Do you wanna build a Snow- *gets hit in the face with a lot of snow*

Ji-Hoon: *smiles through the door* Now what did you actually come to say?

Liane: *her eyes glow purple through the snow, melting the snow to vapour with her fire* Dinner's ready...

Ji-Hoon: Excellent.

Mia: *from the kitchen* WHY IS THE SMOKE ALARM GOING OFF!?

Ji-Hoon: She started it.

Liane: Ooh you-

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: See, the problem is, Liane, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

Liane: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

❄

🔥

Liane: We should normalize not loving family members.

Ji-Hoon: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck brother” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you alright?

Liane: Short answer or long answer?

Ji-Hoon: Short?

Liane: No.

Ji-Hoon: Long?

Liane: Nooooooo.

Ji-Hoon: You skipped therapy again, didn't you?

Liane: I- ugh!

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.

Liane: All I drank was Redbull!

Ji-Hoon: How many?

Liane: Eighteen.

Ji-Hoon: I will freeze you if I have to.

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon and Liane are texting*

Ji-Hoon: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Liane: What did they change my name to?

Ji-Hoon: Chosen One.

Liane: Don’t change it back.

Ji-Hoon: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Liane: I’m the chosen one.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: What the hell is wrong with you?

Liane: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Ji-Hoon: Pretty sure that's genetic...

🔥

❄

Liane: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Ji-Hoon: ...

Liane: Oh, right. The lying.

Ji-Hoon: And the incessant teasing, the inflated ego, the...pinkness.

Liane: Alright! Geez, just give me the cold shoulder already.

Ji-Hoon: *glares*

Liane: *beams* You love me really.

❄

🔥

Liane: *venting endlessly to Ji-Hoon about their week*

Ji-Hoon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Liane: Are you even listening?

Ji-Hoon, deadpan: Absolutely.

Liane: Okay good. So anyway-

Ji-Hoon: *puts in earphones*

🔥

❄

Liane: *playing Into The Unknown over JARVIS speakers, singing along*

Ji-Hoon: Could you be anymore annoying?

Liane: Yes.

Ji-Hoon: Ask a stupid question...

❄

🔥

Liane: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Ji-Hoon: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Liane: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Ji-Hoon: Oh, no, I do.

Liane: Well, what is it?

Ji-Hoon: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

Liane: Dammit!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: I'm going to say this very slowly in the hopes you understand. Felton, you can't do this without supervision.

Liane: I am a responsible adult!

Ji-Hoon: *raises brow*

Liane: I am an adult.

Ji-Hoon: You are a problem.

Liane: I'm your problem. For the next forty-eight hours.

Ji-Hoon: Right.

❄

🔥

Liane: *softly singing Frosty The Snowman*

Ji-Hoon: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Liane: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Ji-Hoon: No references to Elsa, Jack Frost, Frosty the Snowman, Frozone or The Snow Queen.

Liane: Well, dammit.

🔥

❄

Liane, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Ji-Hoon: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Liane: Do you think you're cool when you act all brooding and snarky?

Ji-Hoon: Yes I do.

❄

🔥

Liane, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Ji-Hoon: …

Ji-Hoon: What’s in the box?

Liane: What woul-

Ji-Hoon: Liane, what’s in the box?

Liane: I think you know.

Ji-Hoon: Felton! You are not a childless cat lady!

Liane: I could be!

🔥

❄

Liane: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Ji-Hoon: Your life?

Liane: I- well yes, but- shut up!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?

Liane: Are you calling me short?

Ji-Hoon: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

Liane: Bite me, Elsa.

Ji-Hoon: Oh you're going down.

❄

🔥

Liane: Good morning!

Ji-Hoon, checking their watch: Barely.

Liane: It's morning somewhere.

🔥

❄

(Liane and Ji-Hoon go undercover)

Ji-Hoon: This is Liane, she's… not my assistant, some other word.

Liane, smirking: I’m his carer.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Liane: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Liane: I just choose to ignore it.

Ji-Hoon: That's the most coherent and honest remark you've ever made.

Liane: Aww thanks! *hugs him*

Ji-Hoon: I hate you.

Liane: I know.

🔥

❄

Hope you enjoyed! And yes the long one is an adapted version of a scene from Britcom Gavin and Stacey.

Tags: @askstevella @ask-starrk @marvelsfavoriteuncle @ms-tiana-xoxo @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh @wizzzardofoz @ethan-lensherr @elzabeth-stark @afterhours-witheli @therealdaydreamstark @spotted-ac-richards @sadiesadieagentlady @trulysummersprivate @jackiequick @gcthvile @blueboirick @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel @thechoooooosenone

[eri-pl]

Silm Advent calendar 19: Maternity

Warnings: pregnancy, mention of children mortality, implication of offscreen sex (most shippy scene I wrote in a long time, but it's still entirely SFW), old couple being flirty, a linguistic pun which Tolkien would probably hate, and weird characters names (for a reason, but is this a good reason?). Also, the setting is also further from mainstream Silm than in the others. It is still canon compatible, it's just one of the empty spaces on the margins of the central story

Once there was a couple who could not have a child. So the wife went to a fire and asked for a child. But Psta was not this wife, even though she kept the fire lit at every place they settled into, because the mountains were cold.

Once, there was a couple who could not have a child, so the wife took in a wolf cub and raised it as her own. But Psta was not this wife, even though she would gladly take another’s child to raise, but each orphan had someone closer in the family than her.

Once, there was a couple who could not have a child, so Psta sat in a clearing, in the warm sun, and cried. It was not the worst thing that could happen— they were healthy and had food, and the mountains grew safer with each move westward. And the forest would grow, the world would live on regardless of what happens to her family. And yet, she cried. The pines sang in the wind.

Her people were probably a strange sight for the trees— traveling from far away, they have changed their language a couple times since her ancestors started the journey, borrowing words from other tribes and from the woodland spirits. The spirits told them to go West, even if they themselves did not. Psta felt that it was stupid, but what would she know? She was just an old, sad woman.

The sun went west too, and the sun surely knew what she was doing —  that’s what the healer said. But for Psta it would make more sense to go east, back home, because that was where the sun came from. It was easier to meet with someone when going in the opposite direction, wasn’t it? She wondered how the sun came back east every night, but she had no idea. She was just a simple wife. So, when the chief and the healer said that in the west would be their home, she followed. They also said that the sun first came from the west and that back east there was shadow. They were wise people, even though young.

So she would follow west and not complain about the empty house, where just she and Cern and the dogs lived. But now she cried and the trees lulled her to sleep.

She came to the clearing quite often in the summer and the trees seemed to like it. It was a happy thought: when she’d be gone, the pines would remain. And the woodland spirits, impossible to spot when they did not want it.

One day she dreamed of a boy, but it was not as happy a dream as she would expect. She awoke and— why not? She was old, she didn’t care for people laughing anymore.

She found Cern mending an axe.

“Let’s have a child.”

He laughed. “We are old, wife. Have you talked to the woodland spirits, or bonfires?”

“I dreamed. There is no fault in trying.”

“I could surely use a rest from this rusty thing… but do not hope for much.”

“How will you stop me from hoping?” She laughed like a girl and pretended to run away from him.

A season later, when the first snow came, she cooked her grandmother’s best soup, with honey and garlic.

“What happened? Did your niece get engaged?”

She laughed. “ Not, and I doubt that’s going to happen. But the moon has gone and came and gone again, and my moon has not.”

Cern avoided her eyes. “You are old. Your hair is turning silver. It’s just winter, not anything else.”

“Maybe. Even so, the trees will grow and the world will be glad.”

“You are just as strange as when we were young,” he said tenderly and started eating the soup.

In the spring her belly was unmistakably the shape of the full moon, and everyone in the village whispered that Psta had traded with the woodland spirits— or worse. She did not care.

“I will name him pine forest,” she said to Cern and all the distant family, as they were taking a break from planting.

All the women, and many men, gave her horrified looks. How could she name a child before it was even born — and not with a humble enough name. But they moved settlements every ten or so years, why would they not move everything else? She was old and did not care, and the pines seemed to like it.

“If it’s even a him,” said her sister condescendingly. She did not say ‘and if he even lives’ but she did not have to. Everyone knew how it was with children.

“I’m sure it’s a him. And that he will be a good man.”

(explanation for non-Polish-nor-Czech people)

(explanation for people not interested in niche Silm characters)

[irisposts]

rosyln - reader x ellie

part two & part three

a short blurb of ellie taking the drunk reader home and they have a cute interaction

highly recommend playing the song roslyn by bon iver while reading this :) might make ian extended version idk lemme know

You’re eyes caught Ellie’s the first day she came to school—the first day that her and Joel had fully assimilated into Jackson’s society. She sat in the back, head turned to the window. Seemingly lost in thought, she’d do that the entire first week. Ellie spoke only if she was spoken too. Having enough of it, you gathered the courage to approach her. It was like a match made in heaven, the two of you were inseparable and eventually you’d introduce her to your own group of friends. On one instance you ask if she wanted to sneak out of Jackson for the night with those friends. To your surprise she accepted. Without much care, you, Dina, Jessie, and Ellie left jackson. Only to be swarmed by infected, you remember distinctly how a stalker clawed it’s way over to ellie. And how you climbed atop of it,

“and slashed its throat, I mean clean off the fuckin bone…and that my friends… is how ellie is with us today.” You drunkly rest a hand atop Ellie’s shoulder. Giving it a gentle squeeze, you notice her stiffen under your touch.

The group of your friends squished around the campfire laugh amongst themselves. Cat throws a knowing look to Ellie, you catch Dina watching that interaction with intensity. Jessie chuckles to himself at the memory, “God, weren’t we stupid?”He shakes his head.

“Yeah.” Ellie let’s out a sigh. Bringing a bottle of booze up to her lips. She takes a quick swig, her head thrown back. “You totally saved my life, y/n” her head drops, eyes falling down to yours. There’s the slightest grin on her lips.

“Your welcome.” You scrunch your nose, and find your arms looping into Ellie’s. Your cheek rests along her arm.

Pat, one of the youngest of the group whistles at the interactions.

“Fuck off.” Flustered, Ellie looks to the group of people watching. Her hands smooths down the hair atop of your head. “It’s been a long night,” Ellie bends to get a better look at you. But you’re in your own mind, blabbering about nonsense at a whisper. “I should take her home.”

Jesse claps his hands together, then let’s a hand rest on top of Dina’s knee. “You need any help?”

Ellie starts to lift you up. Letting your body weight lean against her. “Nah,” Ellie pulls your arm over her shoulder. “I got her.”

Your chest thumps st the feeling of Ellie’s hand along your waist. Her fingers slightly digging into your skin. You slightly sober up, a new found energy flows through your body.

You two wobble away from the little crowd. You try to wave back to them, but Ellie almost you drags you away.

You inhale the cool air, admiring the lights of both the sky and of jackson. You close your eyes, letting the sound of both your footsteps trudging through the snow fill your ears. You think back to when you were younger, and how incredibly close you and Ellie both were. You still were close, but in recent years, Ellie’s become more distant. The smiles and puns, becoming a rare occurrence. You now open your eyes, looking over to Ellie. Admiring the redness on her nose and cheeks. The small white snowflakes sticking to her lashes. The soft cloud of her breath in the winter air.

“Mm,ithinkiwannastaywithyoutonight.” You mumble, squishing yourself closer to ellie.

She looks at you with curiosity. “What?”

You roll your eyes. You lick at your lips trying to simmer this burn of alcohol in your chest, but also utilize the sudden confidence it’s given you. “I don’t…want to go home.” Ellie furrows her brows. You look up with those determined eyes. “I want,” you poke a finger at her chest. “to go home with you….”

You finger is just above her heart and you swear you feel it thump beneath your touch. The two of you are stopped in the middle of town, snow fluttering down around you. Ellie stands frozen—that hand still on you’re waist. Her eyes dart to your left eye, then to your right, and down to your lips. To your surprise, Ellie raises her hand. It ever so slightly cups at your cheek, her thumb rubbing softly at the rosiness below your eyes. “Okay.” with a soft smile, “…let’s go home.”

Your gaze softens with a feeling that can only equate with love…

[crimsonxcloverr]

i cackle knowing dale probably ate shit or almost did during the winter months LMAOOOO i’m sure ruth’s driveway was literal hell (no pun intended), covered in ice/black ice 😭 or ruth throwing a snow shovel at him, making him shovel her driveway in his robe, which i’m also convinced is her’s cause it’s so short on him ☠️

idk, so silly stupid, but the thought of dale doing mundane stuff makes me laugh.

[spotaus]

Stuck at work rn so here's some DustedAfterdeath Thoughts :)

Under the cut tho because I'm not a monster.

So, I've mentioned this, but I've always thought that Geno and Reaper are already in a committed relationship before they meet Dust. And I've said before that Reaper is the one to meet Dust. What I haven't expanded on is Dust's initial view of the two.

First thing? He gets glimpses of Reaper at first. A fleeting shadow after he shattered some souls, the feeling of being watched when he enters an au with the gang, and a cold breath on his neck every once in a while. At first he blames Killer, and Horror can vouch that it's not him. Then he ignores it, thinking Papyrus is fucking with him. But that's just not it.

One mission, Dust isn't quite fast enough. Blue gets a solid shot in on him, and Dust goes *sprawling*. Back buried in cold snow, twenty yards into the treeline, fighting noises in the distance but he can't brink himself to stand up, his body just won't move. And as he's staring up at the trees, he gets that feeling of getting watched. Then a few more seconds and there's someone standing over him, black cloak just barely obscuring the skull of what he's sure is a Sans. One holding a giant scythe, it reminds him of a shitty Halloween decoration when he thinks back on it. In the moment? His mind draws a blank.

And this skeleton looks him over, before a knife goes flying between him and Dust and the cloaked figure whisks away. Killer to the rescue, sorta. He's dragging Dust back to his feet, then carrying him when he almost topples again. That skeleton was gone, but the feeling of being watched didn't fade until they were through Night's portal. That was Dust's first sight of Reaper.

Reaper follows him more openly after the second time Dust nearly dies on a mission. Dust can catch sight of his cloak slipping in and out of reality, an extra set of footprints in the trees, the glint of a scythe. And when he's alone? Chuckles. Sometimes a pun. Then eventually smalltalk. Dust tried not to engage at first, but once he lured Reaper into the open, shot a bone at him. It tore a piece of his cloak before he whicked away, and Dust grabbed it. Held it. Reaper wasn't a hallucination or a ghost, he was a real person. Whether that made him want to kill Reaper more or less he wasn't sure. He pocketed the piece of fabric, and it stayed in his jacket pocket.

It took a bit after that for Reaper to try again at speaking, but he was nothing if not persistent. It was idle curiosity, and Dust (after careful research after asking Night a few pointed questions) determined that Reaper wasn't any sort of threat to him or the gang. He, after a while, started entertaining the questions as he went along with his duties. He'd split from the gang just to talk with Reaper, to listen to stories about the multiverse, to talk about what stupid shit Killer was up to (and hear laughter instead of a grating voice), to rave about Horror's food or Cross' improvements in training (to hear a happy voice rather than hatred and jealousy). And he liked listening to Reaper too. Reaper told stories about folks who'd died hundreds of years ago. People who'd died recently. How many people Dust had killed in comparison to Killer or Horror. Reaper was *nice* to him.

Then Dust, without realizing it, was nice back. He saved some of Horror's cooking and smuggled it out on a mission insisting that Reaper try it. He started *asking* how Reaper was doing, rather than making the cloaked skeleton bring it up on his own. Once they just laid in waterfall together when he asked Cross to cover for him on a mission for "personal reasons". They grew comfortable, and Dust is rarely comfortable.

Then there was a mission when he finished extremely early, and Reaper asked for Dust to come with him. He swore Nightmare wouldn't notice. Dust agreed. That was when Reaper had him meet Geno.

[mushrubes]

You

Masterlist | The last of us masterlist

Requested : No!

Prompt 15 “this song reminds me of you.” + 42. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Pairing : Joel Miller x (she/her) reader (No use of Y/n)

Type : fluff!

Contents : Age gap, mutual feelings, grumpy x sunshine, swearing!

Word count : 1.6k

You're loved :)

--------

"Sooo..." Ellie spoke up, walking alongside Joel as you walked ahead of the pair, just out of earshot. He raised his eyebrow, not turning to face her and waiting for whatever comment to come out. "When are you going to tell her?" she asked, a smirk on her face as she watched in amusement, seeing his face change through multiple emotions. "Tell her what?" he asked, trying to stay calm as he gathered she was most likely just messing with him - after all, it wasn't that obvious was it?

"You like her!" she huffed, rolling her eyes at the male as he shook his head vigorously, coming out with excuses. "I absolutely do not, Ellie. She's closer to your age than she is to me!" he half lied. It was true, you were younger, but Joel was so oblivious to the constant hints you had sent. Unknown to you, she had picked up almost instantly, as well as Tommy who had agreed to help her plan in getting the pair of you together. "God, you are so stupid sometimes! She doesn’t care about age!" she groaned, scratching her forehead. 

Joel bit his tongue as he looked ahead, his eyes settled on you. It was lightly snowing on your way back to Jackson, soft snowflakes falling. He watched as you looked around, taking in the scene around you. Despite the world having gone to shit, you still managed to find good in everything - perhaps that was the reason he kept you around. You saw the good in him, the side he couldn't even see himself anymore. He found comfort in you, seeking you out when he needed it the most. You listened to him and his doubts, always managing to assure him that he was doing the right thing and he was protecting you and Ellie. You told him how much you appreciated him daily. Showing him things he never thought he'd ever see again. 

You had one of his spare coats on, your's currently being fixed by Maria as it got torn on the last patrol you and Joel took. It almost drowned you, due to Joel being bigger built but it kept you way warmer than your own did, making you thankful for the fence that had ripped it. "See! You're oogling at her!" Ellie pointed out, earning a frustrated groan that was loud enough for you to hear, evident as you turned out in concern, switching between the two. "Is everything okay?" you asked softly, Ellie smirking as he glared at her. A small smile was plastered on your face as you watched the pair of them act like children. 

"It's fine sunshine, she was just telling me those stupid puns." he lied, glaring at the girl one more time before he carried on walking, now in front of you. "What did you do?" you asked, sighing as he only got into these moods when he was frustrated. She put her hands in the air, shrugging. "I'm innocent, he's just being a moody old man." she attacked, earning a snicker from you. "Don't be mean Ellie." you warned, a playful smile on your face as she grinned back, letting you pull her into a side hug. "Hurry up, unless you want to freeze out here!" Joel called, a stern look on his face. 

"Coming!"

----

You walked into the room, immediately gasping as you set your eyes on the familiar piece in front of you. "Ellie!" you called, gaining the girl's attention. She gasped as well, watching as you opened the draw underneath, seeing the multiple types of vinyl. The labels on them had been worn away, leaving the band and songs on them a surprise. "Woah!" she whispered, pulling them out. "What'd you find?" Joel asked, still focusing on the food he was cooking in front of him. It wasn't a fancy meal, but it was enough to fill you all up for tonight until you got your next load of food. "Vinyl player." you breathed out, grinning at the male who hummed. 

"How do you play it?" Ellie spoke up making you panic as you saw what she was doing, about to break it. "Hey, hey, hey, wait." you gushed, walking over and taking it out of her hands, placing it on properly as it played. "Dinner's ready." Joel announced, letting you take Ellie's arm and bringing her to the table to sit with you and him, leaving the music playing

----

"Come on, time for bed." you ushered, squeezing her arm. Unlike most nights, you knew you'd have no issue with persuading her tonight due to how tired she was from today - she was already practically asleep on your shoulder anyway. "I'll carry her up." Joel assured, already picking her up as you went to move, sending him a small smile. "Okay." you said softly, getting up and walking to the vinyl player to change the record. 

He carefully carried Ellie up, making sure to avoid any creaks in the stairs he knew were there and pushed her bedroom door open with his foot. She had managed to make it her own since you and Joel had agreed on moving to Jackson permanently. The cracked walls were repainted with a blush red she had asked for, lights strung around as well as a pinboard, polaroid pictures pinned to it thanks to the camera Joel had managed to find on a patrol with Tommy one day. 

"Joel?" she called softly as he pulled the covers over her, Ellie already having gotten changed into her pyjamas earlier. "Hm?" he responded, letting her know he had heard you. "Thank you." she stated, knowing she didn't have to expand and he would understand. He took a deep breath, kneeling beside her as he brushed the hair off of her face, illuminated by the lamp next to her bed. "It's okay." he mumbled, a weird feeling of nostalgia growing in his stomach as it reminded him of Sarah. He got up, reaching to turn the lamp off as they shared a smile. As he walked over to the door, ready to walk out she spoke up again. "I'm no longer cargo, right?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly causing him to feel guilty. 

Ellie was similar to Joel in many ways - the one way you were able to point out was overthinking. It was a natural thing to do, all humans do it even you, but she rarely spoke up about it. She would decide to keep quiet than confront it and bottle it up. This was one of the very rare moments she'd let it show, especially since she was now slightly older. She was determined to be independent, to show she didn't need any help with anything, just to prove herself. "No, kiddo. You haven't been for ages. We see you as family." he comforted, trying his best to word it. 

We. The word rang in her head, making her grin as she realised that not only was she sure Joel saw her as family but so did you. You saw her as part of your family. Her stomach filled with butterflies as well as a fuzzy feeling, getting rid of her doubts and certain she was where she belonged. "Now get some sleep, Kiddo." Joel told as she nodded before realising he couldn't see. "Goodnight Joel." she bid, snuggling up to the plush you had given her ages ago. "Goodnight baby girl." he smiled, pulling the door gently. 

Carefully, he made his way down the stairs, coming back into the living room where you were still sitting. When you saw him, you gestured for him to sit next to you, his arm instinctively wrapping around you as you laid your head on his shoulder. The gentle, familiar tune filled the room as you smiled. "Dance with me." you questioned, looking up and feeling your cheeks heat up as you saw him already looking at you. His face changed; uncertainty obvious as he doubted the idea. "I don't know..." he sighed, looking at you as you stood up, frowning at him. He didn't say anything else, instead standing up and wrapping his arms around your waist as your arms were around his neck. 

Your head was pressed against his chest as his head rested on top of yours, swaying you softly along to the song. "This song reminds me of you." you admitted, catching the man off guard. He thought to himself for a few minutes before responding. "How?" he asked, curious as to what to respond. You scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "Because I know you'd give up everything just to be me and El." you spoke up, answering as if it was easy. The comment put a smile on his face, making him happy that you were somewhat aware of the extent he'd go for you two - his girls (admittedly he'd go further than you probably think, but he wasn't going to tell you that).

His eyes welled up slightly as he thought how lucky he had gotten. It was a living hell, yet he'd found two people who didn't see him like the others. They didn't see the ruthless, cold-hearted killer that he'd lost his brother over for a bit. He was safe with you two like you were with him. Even though he was the protector, you two helped him feel safe from everything. Able to forget about the current state of the world when he was with you two, giving him a place to rest - like a sanctuary. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he admitted, seeing you had pulled away and wiped the tears he hadn't even noticed were falling. You rubbed his tears away with your thumbs, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Well, thankfully you'll never have to know. "

[noobettes-little-box]

yay not quite as long block tales review this time yippee

this time is chapter one!!!!

i was gonna say how cool but it's the snow chapter and i don't want to make a pun even if accident

stuff below the cut

Summary!

you start in a cave right after you entered it at the end of the prologue

a little ways into the cave you meet terry, who wants to grab a card but can't because he's a stupid short loser and has small flippers

he then tells you that your ball is bouncy can grab it! and it works!

terry then says that the ball can also break windows and stuff, though that's not very important right now

a while through going through the caves you meet Supreme Ant, the most forgettable boss in the whole game!

after killing her you leave the caves and get to road town

kevin tells you that the ice dagger might've been stolen and that it's responsible for all the ice and snow here. he then tells you that if you want to get out you should go talk to the mayor of road town, so he can give you an ID to leave the town.

Monty agrees to give you an ID, as long as you go check on Jim, his accountant, who was overseeing a mining operation over in the blackrock mountains.

eventually you get to blackrock castle, but there's no way to get in, so you have to go a different way

upon going a different way you run into the banished knight, saying he's going to stop you to gain the blackrock kings trust back

he dies in 2 hits

continuing on you run into spiky kill bot

it can only be killed by bombs. luckily there's a convenient stand that sells exclusively bombs right next to it, so it's not that hard and more of just a way to extend the time.

Eventually you do find him, along with dynamite

you can choose to not free him but if you don't i will find where you live

anyways you can blow up certain rocks now!

you can also use it in battle now!! yay!!!!

anyways you can now bomb your way into the castle now so you gotta go do that

upon entering the castle you'll eventually find the first puzzle of the game

the codes always the same though so if you memorize it you don't need to do the puzzle

you can also blow up the sleeping guy if you want

eventually you find this

new boss fight sentient statue

really not that hard

you then enter the courtyard of the castle, and break a window to get through to the next area

then this happens

you drop a chandelier on then

a little later you get into the kitchen, where the chef tries to have you help cook food

you give him the wrong thing and blow up the kitchen and he yells at you

but you get the ability to shrink at will though

also terry kills him

eventually you get to Cruel king. he says there's a voice that tells him that Blackrock won't exist in the future and how he's going to use the ice dagger to save the kingdom

he fails and fucking dies

REVIEW

overall it's alright. it feels like there's a lot of empty space, and useless time wasting like spiky kill bot and the barricading knights. it also doesn't have the most memorable bosses. it's fine on a first play through but is pretty boring on other play throughs. with the rest of the game being as good as it is the flaws of this chapter stand out a lot more. luckily there's other chapters have more going on.