#stupid fucking caption im sorry

[b0gb0d]

And now i know how joan of arc felt

[theythemmer]

phinktober day 11: ur fav AU

i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo

(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)

ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3

[heartorbit]

just how can i protect your smile?

[lastarvek]

they are girlfriends your honour

[bamsara]

hi, so it turns out I have become what I despise bc I reposted that art (I think yk what im talking abt but if not it’s the “this person is both a writer and artist” thing) without giving you credit bc I somehow was unaware that you were the one who drew it???? I guess I must have 1 brain cell bc how the fuck did I miss that. I’m literally so stupid oml. anyways I’m so sorry and I feel like the literal most shittiest person ever, I just edited the post to give you credit and I’m so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry I didn’t originally, you have every right to hate me for it if you want tho

You're completely fine! That doodle and a lot of my other meme doodles have been yoinked several times and reposted, including times where meme pages put their own watermark over it because they add a caption to it or something, so I'm pretty used to it. I also drew it back when I didn't think the meme doodles were worth putting a watermark on (which artists should btw) so that's my play as well

[eee-lordy]

Hiiii! Can you write about jacob elordi x fem reader who is in charge of the makeup and outfits on saltburn or elvis?

Maybe there is a video going viral where he is looking at her (WITH THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES HAHSHAJDVDSJ IM GONNA EAT HIM) while she is doing his make up and she is clueless, yk those videos where the music is lana del rey and the caption is like "me when im literaly obsessed with her" or "when hes completely in love with u>>>>>"

And when that goes viral, the cast teases him and they go on a date?

Idk i think its cute :3

───※ ·❆· ※───

You were never one to get star struck. In the year and a half you'd been professionally applying makeup to the mugs of many stars, you'd been unfazed by celebrities captivating auras. You hardly blushed when Chris Pine tried asking you out as he sat in your makeup chair. You'd laughed in understandable assurance as Billie Eilish apologized for almost knocking your powder kit from your grasp; when her brother burst in the room to surprise her. You saw your clients as just that, people who trusted you to properly apply blush and fake scars.

But all the composure you'd been proud to claim went out the window when you'd been assigned to work with the cast of Sofia Coppola new film. You hadn't expected to lose your cool. In fact, you'd been rolling your eyes as the hair stylist that shared your caravan had droned on and on about this new Elordi fellow and how dreamy he was. Some of the other workers in the hair and makeup department parroted her yearning for the guy. But you were certain you'd remain calm and cool in this supposed deities presence.

And then he sat down in your chair. And he looked up to you with an intriguing set of droopy dark eyes. And you knew Jacob Elordi was about to be a real problem for you.

It wasn't his fame. You weren't swept up by his essence because of the collective crowd on the internet drooling over the guy. It wasn't even his magnetism. Because he did have a lot of that, you wavered it was necessary to survive fame. But it was more the way he would look up at you from that make up chair. With those dumb stupid big beautiful eyes.  And his smile that followed. And then the infuriating way he'd start conversations with you, those first few days on set.

"What'd you have for breakfast this morning?" Jacob would wonder, watching as you readied a sponge. You would answer and ask for his in return. He would mention stopping by a cafe earlier and go on to ask you where you grew up and if you liked it there and what the best book you've ever read was called. 

"You've got to stop chatting away, makes it hard to do your touch up's." You'd smile, reaching out to adjust Jacobs perfect fucking face so you could work on his brows. 

"Sorry." He breathed out, seemingly genuinely guilty. He went on explaining himself still, slowly as you continued to do your job. "Don't like awkward silence. Or bullshit small talk. Getting to know you seemed like the safest route. Since you'll be covering the dark circles under my eye's this whole shoot."

You laughed in understanding before announcing that you got it, and waved over the hairdresser on site today. 

"Wait, before you go, that book you mentioned..." Jacob pointed your way as you turned for closing up your kit of brushes. Then you watched as the guy wrestled his cellphone from his jacket pocket. "Here," Jacob said, extending the device your way. "Write the title in my notes app. I will forget, but I don't want too. It sounded properly readable."

"Oh." You turned your lips down in a twisted grin of surprise. As you took the device from Jacob's grasp, you felt a surge of gratification that the guy trusted you enough with his phone let alone wanted to read a book you mention not having read since uni. 

Not missing the way the hairdresser rolled her eyes, you grinned and found Jacobs notes app with ease, straining not to glance beyond your means. With the press of a few buttons you wrote down the title, and fought off the impulsive urge to include your very own phone number as well. That would be embarrassing, knowing full well this man would never call or text or probably even dare to glance your way beyond the makeup chair. 

///

The next few weeks went by the same. Jacob would yammer away until you almost had to hold his mouth shut to finish his makeup. And you would fill the silence by telling stories of your own, because he'd mentioned he wasn't fond of silence and you knew your job went beyond applying lip liner, it was also to keep celebrities happy as royalty.

And all the while you blinked away thoughts of how funny he was. How beautiful Jacob was. You wouldn't let yourself realize he was exactly your type. You wouldn't let yourself dream that you might be his. You simply relished the times you made him laugh. Once you made him laugh so hard he cried, tear tracks ruining the powder you'd only just applied. 

The hairdresser who was the leader of fawning over Jacob as soon as he left the room had taken to frowning in your direction most days. You reckoned it was because she'd never been able to make him laugh that hard, or at all, ever. And the stories she told him when he asked her to seemed to lose his interest halfway through every time. Try as Jacob might, you saw his eyes glaze over as the hairstylist droned on about her retirement plan or the grocery list she'd put together that day.

After acknowledging her sorry excuse for conversation Jacob would stop you from packing up and heading to lunch so he could ask you for more books to read, more films to watch, more stories from you. Then his assistant would interrupt, or he'd be called to set and you'd be left to head to the craft table with dangerous feelings of lust and intrigue to push away. You would not let this boy break you of your career long streak of professionalism, damn it.

///

One night, in the middle of a week break from set, you spent an evening scrolling mindlessly. When a tiktok with Jacob's name in the tags popped up, you scrolled away at the speed of light. You didn't let yourself linger too long on posts with him there, not wanting to know anything good bad or otherwise so long as you were assigned to work with him on this project. But it wasn't long before another tiktok popped up featuring the guy in a very familiar setting. He was too famous at this point. You watched as you saw leaked footage from behind the scenes of Priscilla, but weren't too shocked. The stars of the film were occasionally being interviewed by publicists between takes to document their experience, beginning to promote the film.

And maybe you let yourself keep watching out of a sense of entitlement, you'd been working on this set. You could watch a video of Jacob from work, right? You couldn't tear your eyes from him no matter how hard you tried now anyway. You watched as the person holding the camera zoomed in on the guy while he adjusted his suit jacket. You watched as he seemed to talk to the costars at his side. You watched as he looked up and smiled. And you couldn't help but melt a little at the sight, he seemed so happy, so at ease. And then you watched as Jacob's grin widened as he waved someone closer. And much to your horror, you saw yourself step into frame. 

You remembered that day, where you waited on the side lines to fix Cailee's eyeliner. While the director was storming up a new camera angle, Jacob waved you over to mention the last chapter of your favorite book he'd almost finished reading. He was laughing over a bit that you'd warned him about the week before. And you were laughing over how excited he was about it, finally having someone to gush over your favorite plot with.

Now, huddled beneath the blankets of your bed, you slammed your phone down at your side, bewildered to know someone had caught your interaction on camera. Raddled to have just seen Jacob lighting up at the sight of you. Angry at yourself for hopping you'd read his body language in a way that suggested he really liked you that much.

When you picked your phone back up, you watched the candid moment over and over, trying to debunk Jacob's smile. Trying to convince yourself he was only being friendly, only cared because he had to find someone to mingle with during down beats. 

And then you read the comments. 

"If Jacob smiled at me like that, I would die."

"Imagine making him laugh like that she's so lucky."

"Who is she??" One comment read. "Her last name will be Elordi if he hasn't married her already, calling it." Someone replied.

You shouldn't have read the comments.

///

When you were due back on set you swallowed away the excitement bubbling up in you at the prospect of seeing Jacob again. This was so unlike you, to be awaiting the arrival of your client with an embarrassing giddiness. As you reminded yourself that this was your job and Jacob was simply a guest in your makeup chair- the man himself eased into the caravan, ready to get ready for the day.

"Hey, you! I had a bunch of points earned up to get two free coffees so I brought you one. I remember you said you like almond milk so I asked for that." Jacob was all smiles as he extended a latte to you. Awe fuck. 

"Thank you, Jacob." You struggled not to sigh with angst as you accepted his very generous surprise. Luckily, he seemed none the wiser that you'd answered through gritted teeth. He just kept smiling as he headed to your chair.

"Oh, me first today lovie. Need to start your dye straight off, you're little makeup girlfriend will have to wait." The hairdresser announced, daring to grab Jacob by his sleeve, yanking him toward her end of the trailer. The other workers around rolled their eyes, sick of her endless commentary. You bit your tongue as you leaned against the counter, shaking your head when a coworker scoffed in the hairdresser's direction. Luckily, Cailee waltz in, ready for you before anyone else. You thanked God for the distraction, readying your brow pencil and chatted to the girl about her break from set. 

All the while, your least favorite coworkers voice demanded to be the loudest in the room. She made everyone listen to some boring ass story and practically whinnied when Jacob got up to trade Cailee places. 

"No offence, you're fine and all, just don't have hair as silky smooth as Jacob's." The hairdresser told Cailee but made sure her comment was loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh wait, silly me," 

As Jacob settled in the makeup chair and began to ask if the drink he'd brought you was good, the hairdresser of your nightmares shoved her way between you and the person you were meant to be working on. 

"I left of a bobby pin, how'd I forget," She droned in an annoying pitch, nearly shoving you over in her attempt to get closer to Jacob. 

"Can you please get out of my space?" You called, annoyed that she was pushing you away from your station without a single polite excuse.

"Can you please stop being such a jealous bitch?" The hairdresser whipped to face you with a manic smile.

"Oh my God?" You almost laughed in shock at her comment when another coworker dared to reach out and pulled her away, and out of the trailer. Another hairdresser apologized to the room for the previous girl's behavior and stepped up to lead charge of Cailee's wig.

With no time to shake the rage that had been born in you, you pushed it down, biting your lip hard as you went about finding the right sponge for Jacob's foundation. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, seemingly worried. And that pissed you off too. Why'd he have to act like he cared so much? Why'd he have to be so damn wonderful?

"I'm fine. Thank you again for the coffee, it...is kind of bitter but it was a really sweet gesture, I swear. Close your eye's please." You responded as calm and cool as possible.

"Bitter... sweet..." Jacob winked, just for you to see. It was the best thing you'd ever witness. And the worst all the same. You were sure you blushed. You tilted his chin and struggling to suppress how much you'd miss when you didn't get to be this close to him. He stayed quiet as you finished his face, and so did you. When his makeup was done, almost everyone else had left the trailer. The last remaining beautician was walking out as you'd closed the case to your kit. 

"I thought you didn't like awkward silence." You dared to mention, as Jacob stood to leave. It wasn't like you'd thought to ask. It was just a thought that ended up blurted out. And then you were bold enough still to look up and right at the guy with those perfectly shaped eyes to find he'd already been staring right at you. 

"S'not so awkward with you."

You really wish he hadn't said that. You really wished you'd never prompted him too. You really wished he wasn't still standing there looking across the features of your face like he was waiting on you to respond. There was a knock on the door just in time, and a voice calling for Jacob to hurry to set. 

"I'll see you after lunch, right?" Jacob wondered as he moved toward the door. You muttered something like "Yeah sure," as you turned to start collecting your things. As far as Jacob knew you were headed to the craft table. But as your feet started marching out of the trailer, you found yourself headed toward the manager of the crew you'd been hired in with. You explained to her that you really thought it was best you turned in your resignation. 

You'd never dared yourself to tread the line during work. Never been so enamored with someone you were meant to be professional with. It wasn't in your best interest to see how far this went. And it wasn't in Jacobs best interest that you kept lingering around distracting him with stories and novel suggestions.

So, on a decided whim, you packed your things, swallowed frustrated tears, and headed home for good.

///

You let yourself be mad once your front door was shut and locked. You threw away the stupid coffee Jacob bought you. You turned the telly off and tossed the remote toward the hardwood when Euphoria came on. You muttered and cursed and slammed cabinets as you made a carb heavy comfort meal and called your best friend. 

The day went on and turned to night as you tried to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You began getting ready for bed, talking yourself into sleeping off all the weird feelings and events that had transpired today. Tomorrow, you'd find a new job and make sure to decline any with that one awful hairdressers name on the list of beauticians. 

As you sat on the edge of your bed and set a reminder for yourself to job hunt tomorrow afternoon, a notification interrupted your typing. 

Instagram was alerting you that one certain Jacob Elordi was sending you a fucking message. He'd followed you a couple weeks ago, when you handed him your phone to show him a picture of your beloved childhood pet. He scrolled away from it and found your handle to promptly pull up on his very own Instagram, following you with a smile.

Your eyes widened and your thumb worked faster than your brain, clicking the popup before you could talk yourself out of it. Oh, shit now he was going to know you opened his fucking stupid ass message. You really wished you hadn't met this boy. He wasn't even here and he was torturing your every thought. 

"You were NOT there after lunch as promised. Call me? xx"

Before your eyes displayed a row of numbers that if pressed would call Jacob Elordi's cell phone. You tried really hard to talk yourself out of it. But being away from him for the last ten hours had really done a number on your heart. It missed him more than your brain was afraid to admit. Your thumb clicked the numbers. Your phone started to ring. 

After one buzz he answered. 

"I got off set to hear you'd quit and left me to bear that horrid hairdresser without you? Was the coffee really that bad?" Jacob's voice crackled through the line, soft and saccharine. You chuckled morosely at his coffee joke before responding.

"No pleasant greeting. What if it wasn't me calling? What if it was some crazy fan girl?" You dared to venture. 

"Are you saying you're not a fan of mine?"

You wanted to assure him that you were probably his biggest, but sighed in place of a response, struggling to choose your words. 

"What happened? That hairdresser should be fired. You shouldn't've left." Jacob spoke, as you watched the traffic out your window and relished the sound of his voice in your ear. 

"It..." You couldn't help it. You couldn't hide it any longer. "It wasn't really her. I quit because of you, Jacob."

"Me? I- I'm sorry I thought we-" He sounded too worried, and you realized you'd spoken a little too cryptically.

"Not because you did anything wrong." You hurried to explain, interrupting his unnecessary apology. "It's me, not you." 

"Is this a break up? I never even got to ask you on a proper date." He laughed a humorless laugh.

"That's the thing." You said. "I like you way more than I should've ever let myself. It's too unprofessional for me to work with you and have these feelings. I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be telling you this. Everyone treats you like a piece of meat, I hate that I-"

"So... what I'm hearing..." Jacob's voice rose a bit as he interrupted you, catching your attention off guard. "Is that I can actually ask you on a proper date? And this doesn't have to be a break up at all."

"Oh! I- wait are you joking?" You blurted, shocked by the tone of his voice and the fact that it seemed like Jacob Elordi was asking you out. 

"I like you too, dummy. I've been doing my damnedest to make that clear. You know I don't just follow every wardrobe artist on Instagram and bring camera men cafe treats. I used my free coffee on you! I'm so sorry it was no good though." 

"It wasn't the worst coffee ever." You smiled, feeling a calm and hopeful buzz wash over you. 

"Well, let me take you on a proper date, for a proper cup of coffee, and talk you back on set." 

"I can date you, or be your makeup artist, but I will not allow myself to do both. I have a very strict moral compass as a working lady." 

"I'll choose the first option then by a long shot." You could hear Jacob's smile in the tone of his voice. You let him ramble a little longer about the day he'd had and how bad he felt that you'd been moved to quit. He asked you to meet him at the cafe across from the set during lunch tomorrow, and you promised you would in fact show up without a doubt this time. 

Fuck finding a new job tomorrow. You were going on an absolute dream date with Jacob. But you were most definitely ordering your own coffee.

[lumiambrose]

sae x reader, part three to saes launch, fluff, cringe (im sorry)

two months had passed since your kiss. The kiss that changed your life and your relationship and slowly, life had settled into a new normal. your relationship was now the subject of endless speculation and fascination, but amidst the frenzy, you and sae still had your little moments of peace. Tonight, thankfully, was one of those moments, where you found yourselves tangled together in bed, the glow of his phone illuminating your tired faces as you scrolled through tiktok.

your brains had pretty much turned off at this point, until you scrolled into a familiar face. it was an edit to isabel larosa’s ‘favorite’, starting off with the all too familiar scene of the kiss shared between you and sae. after that, a compilation of short clips of you in public or photos of you flew through the screen in smooth transitions, making you look fucking hot.

“sae… am i on your for you page?” you uttered in a half mocking tone to your boyfriend. his brows furrowed in confusion as he snatched the phone away from you, curious to see what you were spouting about.

the video played through once, twice, even a third time before he nonchalantly saved it and swiped on, “that’s stupid, you’re not even a celebrity and they’re obsessing over you like that. so tepid.”

you giggled, “well i think it’s amazing, they really went all out, huh? or are you too jealous to appreciate the skill?”

sae’s ears turned a faint shade of pink, and he averted his gaze. “it’s dumb. you’re for my eyes only, amor.”

you found his embarrassment endearing. it was a rare sight, seeing your usually composed and arrogant boyfriend blushing over something as simple as a fan edit. “i think it’s cute,” you teased, poking his side gently.

he gave you a mock glare but didn��t pull away. “let’s see what else they’ve made.”

you spent the next hour scrolling through various edits. some of you, some of sae and even some cute couple edits. some were sweet, showing candid moments of you two holding hands or sharing secret smiles. some were pure thirst, of you or him. reminding you how glad you are to have this sight of sae, topless, resting on his forearms in bed, all to yourself. others were funny, highlighting sae’s grumpiness and your attempts to deal with him. 

“this one’s my favorite,” you said, showing sae an edit where the fans had added silly captions to his stern expressions, making it seem like he was grumpy about not getting enough attention or affection from you.

sae rolled his eyes, letting out a scoff. “they have too much time on their hands.”

“maybe, but you gotta admit, that’s talent,” you replied, leaning into his chest. “and it’s kind of nice to see how much they support us.”

sae adjusted to wrap one arm around you, pulling you even closer. “guess it’s not so bad.”

just then, a notification popped up on sae’s phone, and you both looked at it. it was a message from one of his teammates, shidou, accompanied by a link to another fan edit. sae groaned, clearly uninterested in shidous antics, “even they’re in on it now.”

you laughed, taking the phone from him and clicking the link. the edit started with a clip of sae scoring a goal, followed by a dramatic slow-motion replay of him looking up at you in the stands. followed by some cringey caption about how he devotes his plays and goals to you

sae’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. “i can’t believe this.”

“oh, come on,” you teased, nudging him playfully. “admit it, you love it.”

he sighed, but the small smile on his face betrayed him. “maybe a little.”

you snuggled closer, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. “i love you, sae.”

“i love you too,” he replied, his voice soft and genuine.

“but seriously, did you save that edit of me?” you wanted to egg him on one last time tonight, which resulted in him letting out a groan before shoving your face away into your pillow.

“don’t worry, i saw nothing. good night love.”

“buenas noches, mi amor.”

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 6: Parallels with Rovickie . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Other than the obvious one--being that Vickie has a boyfriend and Robin is jealous/ put between them--there are actually way more parallels to Rockie than I originally thought, which is why I decided to make a whole post about them!

Again, I'm gonna be stating how intentional I think each parallel is. Even if it's not intentional, it's still a proof because it's the fact they are using the same tropes for two pairings shows that they are both supposed to be seen as romantic.

1. Being Between Them

Very very intentional. The framing is the exact same except Robin is not blurred while Will is blurred. AND the fact that it's a queer character between a straight relationship as well what the actuallllll freak. The difference is the fact that Wills blurred but Robin isn't. Robin is shown to be miserable in this scene, while Will is actually happy in this scene because he is seeing El again.

2. Basically the same conversation

I also think this is kind of intentional, it's tooooo similar not to kind of be inspired by Mike's speech. Obviously, Mike is more of a main character than Vickie so I think that they decided to make her do the same thing as him because the writers see this situation as similar. It's also interesting that she, in this conversation, is talking about how much she should have broken up with her boyfriend earlier. Maybe that gives us a little insight into what Mike is feeling too :)))

ALSO ALSO the bit at the end where Vickie goes "sorry I am rambling while there are people suffering" is literally THE SAME as what Mike says when he goes "it's so stupid given everything that's going on", basically showing they both don't view their relationships as important.

3. The Gay Food Jokes

The 'try before you deny' joke is already kindofsus, but it can easily be argued against as just a little throw away line that is just meant to be a lil bit of banter. Then you see the way that Vickie says "I've made a peanut butter on peanut butter monstrosity" while both queer women are talking to each other. You see the way this kind of sounds similar to Mike going "That's blasphemous, putting fruit on pizza" before the people around him go "Try before you deny" like HAJHDGAJHSGD..... So they have the potential to make queer jokes do they??? Ones that are kind of subtle enough that only queer people pick up on them?? Yessir

4. The Same Look

I don't know if this is totally intentional but it's so perfect <3 Just two gays giving a little smile before looking away quickly teehee giggling kicking my feet.

(im not even adding analysis at this point lmao)

5. 'Cool'.

(also couldnt get a caption for this one but u know what they're saying)

Oh my god I literally yelled when I came across this while watching the scene, not expecting anything else to come up ADGAHJSDG

This is intentional to me. I think the way that the camera is right on Robin's face, the way she says the words, she just seems so IN LOVE and you can definitely see the same (if not more) in love look on Byler's faces when they say the same words. If you can see Robin saying this to Vickie as romantic and as evidence for reciprocated love, then you should definitely see the same for when Mike and Will both say it to each other.

Now that we have gotten confirmation that Robin, Vickie, Will and Mike will all be in the same scenes during season 5, I am even more excited for more parallels between two different flavours of queer couple living their best lives <3 thankyew

GUYS IVE DONE SO MUCH BYLER ANALYSIS TODAY HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY BRAIN IS FULLLL EVERYONE CLAP ME ON THE BACK AHDGAHSJGDHA

[judeyswife]

not what i’m looking for. — jude bellingham x reader. II

genre : angst

word count : 928

note : hii lovies, this is official part two of the series not what im looking for !!! (part one) please let me know of what yall think in the comments! there will be a part 3 guys so don't worry, but it'll probs be a wrap up for this mini series since i want to get started on some other fics too + made a few format changes and writing from author's pov this time -- but thats it! enjoyyy! requests box always open !!

‏‏‎ ‎ ———————————————————-‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎

"i'm sorry"

it's horrendous how fast people switch up. or i'd say men, in this case. it's been roughly about six months since that conversation had happened. it was honestly one of the worst days in your whole life. i mean, yeah you'll get through it. but why? every once in a while you think about what did she have that you didn't.

but this is a topic that hasn't been brought up in about a month. and a certain individual isn't mentioned anymore in your life thank the lord.

you have gone to a beach house near where you live with a few of your best friends, layla, jess, and liv. yall needed this vacation after months of torture. or studying.

they've been with you since day one. truthfully you'd say who needs a relationship when you have your homegirls?

"Y/N, come here right fucking now." -- layla screamed from our room in the house.

you could literally think she had been getting murdered with the way she was screaming honestly.

"oh my god what!"

"whats his name posted a fucking video of missing someone LOOK."

who? jude.

you sit next to her curiously taking her phone from her hands in order for you to take a look at the tiktok she was trying to show you.

( for the sake of the story, jude has tiktok xoxo )

you were shocked. who genuinely who would've though that he'd actually miss us? it didn't even sound right thinking about it.

"maybe it's about her layla" you shrugged getting up to grab your water bottle from her desk.

"are you stupid girl, he's obviously thinking about you, i mean look at his caption." - 'didn't think a situationship could hurt more than an actual relationship' don't be a fool y/n"

liv and jess had entered the room a few minutes ago listening to the conversation making liv enter the conversation.

"ain't no way he has the nerve to do that bullshit on social media"

you stood there listening to them diss jude for about 5 minutes straight. but your lost in your thoughts. i mean, why would he ever miss something he supposedly never had? it's genuinely so draining and confusing.

"guys just drop it, its whatever. lets just go hang out at the hot tub, i really fucking need it"

your friends just looked at one another not saying a single word. they knew better. not to make you sound like a maniac or anything, but they knew how you were with bottling up your feelings. jude was a sensitive topic for you. they didn't want to be the cause of ruining your vacation over some dumb tiktok captions. they simply agreed with you and started getting changed to go out the the hot tub.

•

it had been a few hours since you last seen your phone and you're now inside getting ready to have dinner with the girls and settling down. so you took these few moments, unlocked your phone and checked out what you had missed.

you furrowed your eyebrows trying to figure out who this number could possibly belong to. since you and layla are sharing a room for the trip, she was getting ready at her vanity and noticed your confused expression.

"y/n what's up?" -- asking you meanwhile putting a face mask on.

"i don't know, this random number just texted me with my name i'm just hella confused"

"that's weird. ask who it is obviously"

you nodded listening to what she had advised you to do.

you had this conversation silently without saying a word to layla about who this "mystery person" was. mainly because you wanted to fight your own battles. i mean you basically already had jess and liv involved. not that your mad at them or anything, you know they want what's best for you. clearly they're on team jude. those girls.

"who was it?" layla said getting up from her chair to grab her phone from the charger near her bed. "no one important, they got the wrong number and person" you honestly don't know how she believed you. you hate to admit but you were feeling jittery after having that conversation with jude after so long. even if it was barely a conversation.

you hated that you needed to lie to layla, but you truly believed it was honestly for the best. when you and jude were talking, they knew every single detail about the relationship you had with jude. and by they i mean your friends and his friends. always involved. one of the main issues why miscommunication was lacking horribly in your relationship. so that's why you want a new beginning. not just to "lie" to your friends but to feel the sense of control in your life. even if tomorrow was the last conversation you had with jude, you wanted to keep the moment to yourself.

•

without saying a word to anyone, you and jude had been chatting it up all night. just a catch up with each other. you guys went from telling every detail of your day to each other, to not saying a single word for months to each other. it felt nice being able to slowly regain that comfort you once had when you guys would text or facetime all night long.

you were honestly praying for the best in tomorrow's conversation, you had no idea what it could lead up to.

but the overthinking was done on your pillow all night long, plus his texts of course.

[punkassfrance]

The Ponderosa Wolves - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Wet Hot American Summer (Work length ~1.9k) This work is rated M to be safe. Expect vulgarity, not explicit content. This chapter contains: mentions of raccoon violence. Owen mentions. Full Series - Next Chapter

Abby

“Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.”

Abby pulls the screen closer to her face as she sits up in bed, her mouth opening as she parses the news before her. The caption beneath the photo confirms what she didn’t want to know.

Baby Moore coming December 2025!

Mel is holding up ultrasound photos on Instagram, smiling wide with Owen’s arms around her. He’s looking down at her with a grin, hands resting on her stomach. They both look too happy.

Abby throws her phone down on the bed seconds before she hears it buzz, groaning and resting her head in her hands. They broke up less than four months ago and he’s already knocked up his new girlfriend? It doesn’t take long to do the math in her head—they must have started dating the week after her and Owen broke up, if not the same day. She doesn’t want to consider the possibility that it was any sooner than that, but it’s not out of the question.

Whatever. It’s not her concern. They’re not together anymore, not even on speaking terms, what does she care? He can father enough children to fill a daycare, it wouldn’t affect her in the slightest. He’s not her problem anymore, and if Mel thinks she can deal with him, more power to her.

Rubbing her face, Abby peeks between her fingers at her phone lying on the bed, screen lit up with notifications. Most are from Nora. She grabs it and opens up their messages, scrolling through. The first message is a screenshot of the post.

I’m so sorry Abs

He’s a total dick

God, poor Mel

Are either of them thinking at all? They’ve only been together three months, neither of them have a degree yet lmao

The math isn’t mathing

Need to call?

Abby smirks at Nora’s rambling. She’s right, of course—it’s a shitty move to pull. Even if he doesn’t owe Abby anything anymore, it’s just stupid. There’s no way he doesn’t know how this looks, how badly this could go, how many ways he could fail and take Mel down with him. As much as she wants to hate Mel, she can’t quite bring herself to. She knows firsthand what it’s like to convince herself Owen is the one.

There’s a few messages from Manny too, one of them a screenshot of the post.

the fuuuuuuuuuuck

this has to be a bad joke

what a dumbass

you want me to kill him for you

that motherfucker im gonna go kill him rn

Abby snorts, firing back a quick I know, right before she responds to Nora.

No, I’m fine

Gonna shut off my phone for a bit, love you

She lets it power down and sets it on her nightstand, curling up on her side when she hears a gentle knock on her door.

“Yeah?”

The knob turns and her father steps in, smiling softly as he peeks through the doorway. She’s not sure when he got home from work, but he’s already changed out of his scrubs.

“Hey, honey. How was your day?”

Abby presses her lips together as she pulls a spare blanket over her shoulders, pulling it in to her chest. She shrugs, looking down. “Could have been worse, I guess. Registered for my fall classes, got everything I wanted.”

“Alright, score!” His smile falters a bit as he steps into the room. “I, uh…just got off the phone with Marlene.”

Abby sits up at the mention of Marlene. She knows her father talks to their family friend at least once a week, but she doesn’t often hear the details of their conversations. “How is she?”

“Oh she’s alright, just fine, but…Leah’s mom had a bit of an accident.”

Abby sits up, brows drawing together. “Shit. What kind of accident?”

“A really vague one Marlene wouldn’t give me details about.”

“How bad is it?”

He shrugs softly, crossing his arms as he leans against her doorway. “Sounds like she’ll pull through, but Leah needs to go back home for a bit to help out. Marlene’s gonna be short a counselor at camp for a few weeks.” He grimaces softly, glancing up from the ground to Abby.

Abby narrows her eyes. She knows that look. “Okay…?”

“…I told Marlene I’d ask if you wanted to step in.”

She sighs, eyes wandering as she thinks. She’s got a few more months before she goes back to campus; a few weeks at Marlene’s camp wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. As nice as the break has been, she’s getting restless. It wouldn’t hurt to spend some time in the woods after the news she just got, either.

“I mean—” Abby trails off, looking back up to her father. “…details?”

“Marlene’s got four middle school girls who need a counselor coming on Sunday for the next two weeks. You’d go up tomorrow to settle in, she’ll cover your gas. You’ll get paid, of course; I know you’re not going to want to work while you’re studying. She could really use a hand, but if you just want to relax for your summer break, that’s totally alright.” He takes a step forward, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Either way, she needs to know soon.”

It only takes Abby a moment to think about it. “…yeah. Alright, I’m in.”

-

Ellie

“Damn, that sucks.” Jesse takes a sip of his soda, free hand tucked into his pocket. “What are the odds of that?”

“The odds of getting attacked by a raccoon when you’re stupid enough to try to chase them away from your trash? Pretty high.” Ellie pushes a strand of hair out of her face, glancing over at Dina standing by the register. She chews on the straw of her milkshake, lost in thought as Dina pays for her drink.

“They don’t usually attack, though, do they?”

“Smacking it with a broom probably didn’t help.”

Jesse shrugs as Dina walks back to join them, ponytail swaying as she waves goodbye to the cashier.

“Dina, did you hear about Leah’s mom?” Jesse wraps an arm around her as she slides up beside him.

“She got mauled by a bunch of raccoons.” Ellie deadpans, sipping her milkshake.

“Uh, I thought it was just one raccoon?” Dina raises an eyebrow as she taps her nails on the plastic cup in her hands, incredulity tinting her voice.

“That’s not as fun to picture, though. What are you, the fun police?”

Ellie pushes open the door and steps out onto the concrete, holding it open for Jesse and Dina to follow. She inhales the smell of the woods, heat sizzling off asphalt of the empty parking lot. Most of the convenience store’s customers just walk over from the campsite a half mile away; she’s not sure why they have a parking lot at all. Regardless, she’s glad the store is here. The kids love to walk over during their free time, and it’s nice to have a steady sugar supply when the cafeteria is on a health kick.

Summer is in full swing in the mountains. Even in jean shorts and a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, slathered in sunscreen, Ellie’s still struggling with the heat. If they weren’t in-between sets of campers, someone might try to fight her on the dress code, but in the moment she’d rather die than cover up any more.

“Well, who’s filling her position? Marlene’s already got the girls in Leah’s cabin planned out.”

“Dunno. Joel said she’s already put her usual backups with the high schoolers. The only one who has any middle school experience is a guy.”

Dina grimaces, pressing her lips together as the three of them start the short walk back to camp around the edge of the lake. “You don’t think she’s going to cram the girls into full cabins?”

“God, I hope not.” Ellie shudders. It’s only happened once before, but the cabins only have so many mattresses. Sleeping on the floor for two weeks had fucked up her back for the rest of last summer.

“Ugh, that would suck,” Dina says, raising the straw of her fountain drink to her lips.

“What do you care? You ditched us for the high schoolers.” Ditching might be a bit dramatic, but it’s not exactly wrong. Last year, Dina had been in the cabin right beside Ellie’s, both of them working with middle schoolers and sneaking over in the middle of the night to mess around when the girls were asleep. Their arrangement had ended unceremoniously when Dina got serious with Jesse in the last few weeks of camp, but Ellie didn’t hold a grudge. Dina’s been her best friend for too long, Ellie doesn’t want a life without her in it one way or another.

This year, Dina decided to work with the older kids in the high school cabins across the lake. Marlene didn’t hesitate to move her over, always desperate for counselors willing to wrangle teenagers. She’s still no more than a ten minute walk from Ellie’s cabin, but it’s ten more minutes than it was last year.

“I mean, it would suck for you.” Dina shrugs. “And I don’t want to listen to you complain about your back all summer again.”

“Just say you hate me. Can’t believe my favorite side chick hates me.” Ellie sighs dramatically, throwing her head back as the sun beats down on her face. Fuck, it’s hot out. She takes another sip of her chocolate milkshake.

Dina rolls her eyes, stepping away from Jesse’s side to loop her arm around Ellie’s. “Aww, Ellie. We all know you’re my side chick.”

Ellie’s right in the middle of an overdramatic eye roll when she feels her phone buzz. She pulls it out and squints to see the screen in the sunlight. It’s a message from Joel.

Do you want to come with me to get Sarah tomorrow?

Ellie grins. Sarah has been buzzing with excitement about going to camp all summer, even more when Joel promised the girl she’d be in Ellie’s cabin. For reasons Ellie will never understand, her little sister is thrilled to spend time with her. She messages him back.

ye

She almost puts her phone away before she sees a typing bubble pop up. Dina tilts her head at Ellie, lowering her cup. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just Joel.” She snorts as she sees his response.

You can’t even finish a word?

sry forgot you were born in the 1900s

She sends it off with an old man emoji and tucks her phone back in her pocket. “Just asking if I want to go pick up Sarah with him.”

Dina smiles. “She excited?”

“Oh yeah, can’t wait. I’m sure she’s pretty sick of Tommy by now.”

“Shit, I’d be pretty sick of Tommy too if I had to spend the whole summer with him.” Jesse shakes his head, looking away from the deep blue lake beside them. “Can I have my girlfriend back?”

“No,” Ellie and Dina say in unison, pulling closer to each other.

He shrugs, taking another drink of his soda. “Fine. You can borrow my girl since you can’t get one of your own.”

Ellie reaches over to shove him, Jesse breaking into a laugh as he stumbles to the side of the path. “Whatever! Remind me how long it took you to ask Dina out?”

“Three months,” Dina chirps, smirking as Jesse rights himself.

“Didn’t someone have to dare you?”

Jesse rolls his eyes, looking to the sky with a straight, exasperated face. “Why do I hang out with you two?”

“My ass?” Dina suggests.

“I’m a lovable scamp?” Ellie shrugs, raising an eyebrow. “Really hope it’s not my ass.”

“No, that’s why I hang out with you.” Dina nudges her.

“Damn straight.”

Hi everyone! This idea popped into my head and I can't seem to get rid of it, so here we go! This is going to be a lot more lighthearted than my other fic. Unrestrained summer fun. Yes, Ponderosa Lake is a real place in Washington, but for the purposes of this story it's a fictional lake in the mountains of California. (Yes, the Sierra Nevadas. I grew up in the area and I love it dearly.) I don't THINK there will be any major triggers, but please let me know if you spot something that deserves a warning!

I'm so excited for the series! Comments are always appreciated! Feel free to say hi or drop your thoughts in my askbox, check out my AO3 or my about me if you're interested!

Series taglist: @ellabslawyer @rareanduselessbird @hotwheels4hotgirls @polarhues

[overtake]

Not to be weird but I feel like I got zapped when I read your hockey snippet, how didn't I know that this existed? It's literally been living my brain for hours and I've not been able to stop re-reading it since 🙃 clearly you can take the girl out of toronto but you can't take toronto out the girl because im a changed person now. No pressure ofc I mean this in non-prodding way but praying and willing you to put your snippets together. If you never come around to it then I'm glad (and changed) for what you've shared with world regardless 🙏🏻🙏🏻

This is SO sweet 🥹 I love you so much. Just for this, please have a bit more hockey au. There's a tiny snippet after a media bit (Surprise, this fic is multi-media! Writing the social media parts has been my fave part of the entire process)

@.MapleLeafs on TikTok: | December 12, 2023

[Players walk by a whiteboard on their way into the practice rink. They're stopped to answer the question written on it as they enter. The caption written over their heads reads: "Who don’t your Leafs want to sit next to on a flight?"]

ALEX ALBON: Easy one. Esteban Ocon. He’ll bite your head off if you make a single noise. I think he’d get mad if the plane was going down and you tried to warn him. LOGAN SARGEANT: Gasly or Ocon. I don’t know if it’s a French thing, but they both get really annoyed if you talk to them on a plane. PIERRE GASLY: Danny Ric. He is the loudest person I’ve ever met in my life. ESTEBAN OCON: Daniel Ricciardo. Sorry, Daniel. DANIEL RICCIARDO: Gasly. Max and I were just having a conversation and he rose up behind us and nearly bit our heads off for laughing. I don’t know why he keeps sitting near us. MAX VERSTAPPEN: I don’t really mind sitting next to anyone. I usually sit next to Daniel, and we have a good time. He keeps movies downloaded for us. They're often not very good, but that's sometimes more fun, you know? YUKI TSUNODA: Daniel. VALTERRI BOTTAS: Daniel Ricciardo. ZHOU GUANYU: Daniel. He is very nice and fun, but sometimes you just want to relax on a flight. MARCUS ERICCSON: Surely everyone except Max picked Daniel, right? FERNANDO ALONSO: I don’t want to sit next to anyone.

Mara (DR’s Reputation Era) @.mv33fan: Fernando Alonso: I hate this entire team The entire team: We hate Daniel and the French Max and Daniel: Ask again later. Our mouths are occupied with each other’s dicks.

________

Theoretically, Daniel knew that his and Max's pre-game ritual could end up on the broadcast. Butt taps and silly handshakes in the tunnel inevitably end up on team Instagram stories even if they don't air on TV. It was to be expected, particularly on a Saturday night game against Ottawa.

Still, he didn’t exactly expect a whole montage. It's a nice little package, to be fair. It shows him and Max laughing next to each other in the tunnels and locker rooms before games, followed by their fingers interlocking in their usual drawn-out high five. Daniel prefers to fist bump the whole team and exit only before the goalies, but his routine with Max is always a bit of a production that holds up the line. It's only a surprise it hasn't been uploaded sooner.

After a game where Max scored two goals and Daniel threw his body in front of a rogue deflection and stopped the Sens from a late-third tie, the media naturally focuses on the montage. God forbid they talk about actual fucking hockey in the hockey interview.

“We call it tangled love,” he tells reporters in the press scrum after the game. “In honour of our artistic collision last game.”

It wasn’t a real collision. They’d just got tangled up together when things got chippy by the net. Their skates had collided and they'd taken each other out while trying to defend Esteban from some Habs players. It was all over social media, though, and Daniel knew they’d end up in some embarrassing NHL moments compilation.

They’d both laid on the ice, a little stunned and a lot stupid, before Daniel let out a giant laugh and broke the tension. Max had risen to his feet and tried to pull up Daniel, only for them both to fall right back down as if this was the first time they'd ever skated.

They’d actually been doing this little handshake all season, but reporters were always happy for a soundbite to latch onto and a joke they’d never let go. There's not much to work with in this league in the way of on-camera personality, so it’d probably be a story for the next week. The go-karting clips of the two of them were so popular than even Max mentioned he’d seen them on Reels, and he’d carefully curated his feed to show him anything but Leafs content.

Daniel can’t explain it, this warmth that makes him feel like he’s glowing from inside out all the time since the season started, but he knows he feels it most when he sees people write his name alongside Max’s like their togetherness is a given.

[neallo]

(girl who was supposed to write 3k of vaguely serious pining tonight, or at least some weird smut) so about the furby au...

uhhh okay im gonna TRY to come up with some additional thoughts since i am going to the trouble of making this post. i guess one question is— does mello RESPOND to the emails??? probably. he loves to be mad about stuff and he hates not being heard when he's mad about stuff. so like. initially he's just replying to the emails from matt with “i hate that stupid fucking furby” and “how much money do i have to give you to set it on fire, or at least stop emailing me” but when matt points out that mello could just auto sort the emails to spam mello pretends as if he doesn't see that one. eventually, as mello's responses become marginally less hostile, matt is like 😌 it's time to up the ante. and begins including his Fun Near Facts. these include but are not limited to:

- he took college level differential equations when he was 14! 🤓 (mello response: okay, so he's a loser??)

- he's not a loser he's REALLY cool (note: matt loves to lie. or he actually has an unrealistically kind view of near's swag levels) (mello does not dignify this with a reply)

- he loves talking about math! don't worry though it's really easy to tune it out and he doesn't really care if you're not listening (mello response: i don't know why i would need to know that.)

- one time he saved me from drowning 😳 (note: matt also loves to embellish. near “saved him from drowning” by telling matt to not try his luck at jumping over a river, which wasn't actually even deep enough for him to drown in)

uuhhhhh okay running out of matt's fun facts about near BUT. the point is that he is wingmanning so hard. i guess another question is whether or not near picks up on the fact that matt is regularly taking candid photos of him? my thought is no. i could see near being sort of a space cadet in this respect tbh; if he's absorbed enough in something he tunes everything else out)

hmm. genuinely running out of steam so lemme just jot down a few more ideas and then someday maybe i will add more when more comes to me.

- near: lives in... actually, fuck it, NOT new york. he and matt room together in minneapolis. near is in a PhD program for math— either complex analysis or topography. idk. something. matt is a programmer of some kind bc i am not creative.

- mello: i think i already said but he lives in LA, works for the mob. probably isn't really that Into It but he got in when he was pretty young and it's not like he has a lot of other options at this point? i imagine it isn't something he spends a lot of time angsting over but he's probably kinda unfulfilled.

OH okay sorry i got an idea. these stupid emails from matt go on for a few months, with mello gradually responding in very slightly less mean ways & occasionally asking questions,,, and then one day the Daily Near Email comes through and it's a picture of near somewhere in LA. probably griffith's observatory actually. and matt (knowing full well from mello's social media that he lives in Los Angeles) captions the image something like “where did you say you lived again??? 🤔”

okay now i'm REALLY out of ideas. not sure how the fact that mello has barely Actually spoken to near would be resolved!! thanks for listening to the Morgan Being Deranged podcast, tune in next time for another incredibly niche stupid idea 🥰

[leafybfdia]

oh god i cant stop thinking about leafy bfdia

are we goint to see this? are we going to actually see this happen? we have to. we have to. look at the teaser

LOOK AT IT FUCKING LOOK AT IT oh god….. leafie……………… i hope she kills firey. can i be honest. is this a safe space. i hope she pours water over him. like no one gets it.

AND WHAT DOES TJE CAPTION MEAN???????? WHAT DOES IT MEANNNN WHAT DOES IT MEAN…. WHAT IT DOES ALL MEAN……….. Dude what if it drops today. or tomorrow. or the day after that. - the hoper

aAUAGHHH GOD i miss her so much im trying to think of like what fits the caption. i know that in bfdia right now fireys in the stupid little. goddamn. FUCK i forgot what itms called. in that prison thing for the eliminated contestants. if hes going to revive her. like. dude what are we gonna do im like hands firmly planted on scalp rn like we are COOKED……… i want to say that leafy gets revived but probably also has to sit in tje silly little prison? and firey pretends he doesnt know her and is like oh im gonna heat up a dirt cake with the dirt aroudn here. because he wants to focus on something else like he doesnt want to interact with her at all. sorry if this is super specific and doesnt make sense btw im literally just shotgunning ideas so when the next bfdia happens i have a higher chance of being rigjt so i look like some kind of genius. but the scene is so vivid in my mind. and it explains her 😐 expression. does anyone hear me. oh god

WAIT OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED EVIL LEAFY IS FUCKING OVERLAYED - POST CANCELLED POST CANCELLED EVERYONE PACK YOUR SHIT OHHH WE’RE COOKED. APPLES IN OUR MOUTHS AND EVERYTHING LORD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS

[normystical]

hrhrgrgrggr i wanna make an animatic of becky apples with certain hazbin hotel characters but i can't. and like even if i had the motivation this very second i do not have TIME FOR THAT so uhh might just spill my ideas all over here w/ altered lyric captions

husk . lucifer . ugh !! husk

i bet lucifer's got perfect hair [vox imitating sweeping hair back cuz he's a jealous and bald mfer lmfao]

husk. husk's got stupid STUPID [ears? claws? idk tbh but he doesn't have hooves so we're changing that lyric,,]

i'm never gonna eat another appLE EVER AGAIN!! [god have mercy on my mediocre art skills bc i will have to illustrate vox not only crushing an apple but with his clawed ass hands]

OO it reallt bunches my f luff to thrink how badly he hurtyou. bbg. tell me your story

[idk what to do with the lines "i left my rider so that i could raise an army (so that you could raise an army) then c-doug popped up and he said something alarming (oo, what'd he say?) he told me that my best friend's ridden (no!) another horse so pretty (no way!)" but i do want to have the latter two lines have charlie just talking about alastor and lucifer fighting all the time like haha those guys. those silly little rascals]

and his name is lucifer [morningstar/the king of hell/HIMSELF] because UGH of course it is !! !

lucifer lucifer whag a gorgeous famcy SCHMUCK luci how you like em apples cuz i think ur apples SUCK [naybe at that part i animate an apple pelted at luci just for shits and giggles itll be fun trust me] lucifer lucifer ggeues what i knew alastor first and while technically i dont know lucifer i know hes the WORST

ugh he is soo the worst vocks . right?? its unbelievable !! stupid luci. but can i tell you about someone whos,, kind of a total lucifer in my life? okay i—i mean im kinda not done being mad about lucifer bu—

WELL I WAS flirtin glirtin with a slick promstoar (this is not the same situation.) he was the finest spider femboy that i ever pursued (rhere was more than one??) he played me like a ukulele (he did.) i dont want no drama baby (too late?) but i FLIPPED when i found out his boyfriend was a wwinged cat guy idk how to change this lyric tbh sorry guys

oh that husk[er] that husk[er]s got stupid pretty legs and i bet that angel dust would let HIM adopt his eggs [cut to vox being horrifically confused and weirded out for half a second] hUsK [angel talking about him happily] HuSk [angel talking to him on the phone] hUsK [angel greeting husk at the door] HuSk [angel moaning his mame while getting fucked lmao get fucked val wait wut] UGH !! even his wings are perkier !!

maybe husk's flirty boyfriend is the one whos the ACTUAL jerk here... UGH!! husk!! making me feel bad for projecting my own insecurities and displacing blame on HIM, when HE really did nothing wrong? UGH. hes the WORST.

[vox clear he throat]

OH RIGht! ur sad :3

i feel ur pain girl, im ur vindicator, and we dont know husk, lucifer, we just know we hate him . this isnt okay and this isnt fiiiine

...let it out bbg

[vox drops his face into val's fluff as he sighs]

its just i thoughgt al,, would always be miine

ok spilling out my ideas FINALLY done jesus fuck this sucks when it's explained rather than imagined or animated lmao

[glaucidian]

Goldian's official thoughts on (most of) the north american owls

in honor of superb owl sunday (and absolutely nothing else of significance, thats not a joke. american football is the joke and owls are not) here is my official thoughts on a lot of but not all of the north american owls

Flammulated owl: no real thoughts. Basically screech owl lite im sorry to start off on a negative note but they gotta try harder

Screech owl: yes i know theres a ton of you guys. Yes i will lump you into one category. Keep on doing the funny little trills i love hearing them whenever im somewhere i shouldnt be at 8 in the evening. Why are you so small yet so violent

Great horned owl: the classic honestly. No notes. You look so grumpy yet you have so much heart. I hear you walking around at night in urban areas and i go oh shoot… the great great horned owl has something to say… 

Snowy owl: gets the award for “goldians favorite animal and fursona species”

Spectacled owl: i saw you at a zoo once and you stared right back at me

Barred owl: who cooks for you :) the og (as opposed to the classic, i.e. the GHO). I wouldnt be surprised if a movie showed a great horned but had these guys Classic Hooting Line. also look at their stupid little faces. They are like living plush figures. How do they do that… 9.5/10

Great grey owl: the official “stupidest looking owl despite everything” no really your face is so small… you look like you saw the moon in A Trip to the Moon and were like i want to encompass the energy of “sit in the uncanny valley and live there”. Also again how are you so FLUFFY what the FUCK

Northern hawk owl: no notes actually not a real owl IMO but they are cool

Glaucidium as a whole: not personally a fan

Burrowing owl: the most left leaning owl. Oh you wanted to build in that empty lot? Nope, a nest of burrowing owls has been living there for the past 2 weeks, sorry. Also nests in burrows which is cool as fuck

Saw-whet owl: i can’t think of a caption for this one honestly i just associate these with “owls are so cute!!!” image macros

Stygian owl: you are mysterious and underwhelmingly documented and i love you

Long eared owl: i'll let them speak for themselves:

Short eared owl: goth icon, no notes

Barn owl: oh no. oh no. you are owls and i love you very much but oh no. why do you exist in this state. You are between a cryptid and a bird. I cannot say what has not already been said. Why are you so fucking weird. Why are you like this. Stop it.

[zaustavitezemlju]

i need ta rant and i dont wanna go bother my friends. so why not add to my digital footprint lets go future employers if you find this enjoy

uh. cw for like. talk abt slurs/racism(?)/homophobia nd transphobia (kinda)

i keep loosing my friends cuz theyre all saying stupid shit. not dropping names but lets say his name is tincan. so tincan and I have been feiends for like 3-4 yrs now and hes a great dude. bit weird soemtimws but hes silly and were on the same wavelength roughly. well imagine my surprise qhere one day in class he just randomly says the n word and stafts cackling like irs so funny!!!!! (hes white btw.) yes king racial slurs are mx FAVORITE form of comedy 😍😍😍 and so ofc i turn to him and im like. tincan that isnt ok what. and he goes dwdw i have the pass ........,........ i think that speaks for itself. and so i go ok. this dudes weird! and i will probably not be talking to him anymore!! but then we have like break right. two weeks and im travelling. out of NOWHERE.DEADASS NOWHERE WE HADMT TWXTED IN AGES. this man sends me a fucking DICK PIC. WITH RHE FUCKING CAPTION OF "i gotchu man since you like dick" NOT OUT OF NOWHERE YOU DRIED LIZARD. and i also didnt have data so i couldnt even reply for ages and it was horrible. and ofc i reply like tincan. what the actual fuck. AND THIS MF GOES "mb i thought you liked dick" LIKE HE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR OR SOME SHIT. so i get PISSEDDD. and i contemplate blocking him and im like youve changed fast af and hes like well what have i done other than send that pic. I DUNNO. SAID THE N WORD? SAID THE F SLUR TO. MY. FACE. AND LAUGHED IT OFF? AGREED WHEN ONE KF YOUR FRIWNDS WAS BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO ME INFRONT OF ME EVEN THOUGH YOUVE PREACHED SO MUCH ABOUT HOW YOUD NEVER STAND FOR THAT???? and then tincan was like ohh okk im sorry ill change for you. idk why he added for you it was weird and creepy and icky. sigh idk what to do tho bc like i dont want to completely push him away bc he is a valuable person to have for like general school matters. but i also do NOT want to be friwnds w someone like that. im just emotionally distancing myswlf for now like im not talking abt personal shit w him and im being more like surface level in convos

hes not rhe knly one tho like my closest friwnd rn is also kind of jumping on the bandwagon. he was talking abt rhis guy who he calls sometimws online and like plays games with (minecraft n shi) and he was like "oh yea he says the n word but its funny because hes british" (yea the guys white ofc (the online guy))and then proceeds to show me a clip of this guy saying the n word while theyre on voice chat while barely managing to hold his laughter. how is this funny im sorry huh? and i just like nodded or whatever cuz i was utterly dumbfounded that he would ever like even find something as stupid and uncreative as that funny. like........... 😧

anyway. i texted him and i was like yo just warning you i dont like the direction youre changing in and if i hear you say the n word we arent chill anymore bc its way too many ppl now. like be so real

what is so funny abt a racial slur. ill never know!!!!!