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It hurts
My head
My heart
My bones
My soul
It's painful
To exist
It's harrowing to breath
Wouldn't it simply
Be
A mercy
To put me out
Of
My misery?
#spilled ink#poem#poetry#spilled thoughts#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#short poem#spilled poetry#stuff i've written#spilled words#original poem#my work#my writing
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posting some mind swap doodles to prove im still alive, so have a few headcanons :D
- Leo in Mikey's body is pure chaos, he has no boundaries when it comes to modifications to "his" body in order to feel more comfortable in his own skin. For example, he gave himself his old markings to cover up Mikey's spots (only around the eyes tho, the arm and leg markings would take way more time.) He loves using Mikey's mystic powers/weapons at first, but eventually feels too weird about it and switches to his own weapons/gear to cope
- Mikey reins him in whenever he gets a little too confident in using his mystic powers though. Mikey is always hovering nearby to make sure Leo doesn't decide to go overboard, fully aware of Leo's lack of awareness when it comes to his physical limits, let alone when he's in someone else's body
- Raph is on the opposite side of the spectrum as far as modifications go, only willing to give Donnie his tech back and wear arm wraps to feel more like himself.
- The only tech he has to keep is the battle shell, especially after realizing just how fragile Donnie's body really is. He becomes refuses to take it off for days at a time, and when he does finally take it off, he's extremely paranoid and puts himself in the safest spot possible: his own room, bundled up in pillows and blankets.
- He also is woefully ignorant in how the battle shell is operated, so it goes haywire pretty often in the beginning. Donnie has to be nearby and ready to be damage control for a long time before Raph becomes confident enough to operate the battle shell's most basic functions.
#i have so many blurbs for this au#but i'm too lazy to draw it out#seriously considering posting the stuff i've written for the au to pick up the slack but that sounds pretty scary ngl#mind swap drabbles#rottmnt mind swap#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#technically rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#my art#rottmnt fanart
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high spice tolerance, my ass
(old man smut)
#storytime: I've been sitting on these drawings for months bc I wanted to write the interview and post them with it#but oh lordt it's an endeavor and a half bc the questions they ask on that progrum are incredibly unique and precise#I'd have to think up a lot of lore#and research a ton of stuff for the replies#and also I'd have to think up AU sean hotones but that's easy I'd just give him a full head of hair#I have ONE question and answer written down and maybe one day will write more who knows#he's one of the bitches to bring in a friend (emotional support husband & bestie stepkid who squats in his NY place anyway)#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#act verse#old steddies#man's 90% eyeball 10% scribble tattoos
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Original Blurbs Masterlist
This is a list of all the pieces that are original to me. They are not based in any fandom, and are just short blurbs that I've written over time.
As with all of my other works, pease do not steal these! I wrote them myself and they are not to be stolen.
Describe Yourself (MoW 2021)
Statue Becomes Human (MoW 2021)
Soulmate AU - First Thoughts (MoW 2021)
Laser Tag Date (MoW 2021)
What A Day (MoW 2021)
Man in the Woods (MoW 2021)
Arranged Marriage (MoW 2021)
No Abduction Policy (MoW 2021)
No Harm List (MoW 2021)
"What would you do if you had forever?" (MoW 2021)
Wrong Text (MoW 2021)
Nap Time (MoW 2022)
#original story#original blurb#blurbs#stuff I've written#im a writer#gotta get stuff out of my brain#too many ideas not enough time#just write
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ honesty is a virtue
type of post: short fic characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, a little suggestive, actually a lot suggestive, this is based off a stupid joke I made, reader is older than nrc students etc
It had started as a joke.
IT WAS A JOKE!!!
How could you have known? You had had your suspicions, but it's not like anyone tells you these things.
You meant it as a JOKE!
"Yeah, well, I fucked your dad,"
Sebek looked absolutely horrified, as if you had just told him his pet puppy died. Silver was stuck in place, pale, staring at you. Malleus chuckled.
You look between the three, confused. "Relax, guys, I was kidding,"
Sebek's horror immediately twists into rage, his whole face going red. "HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? TO JOKE ABOUT SUCH VULGAR THINGS!!!"
"Sebek, it's alright," Malleus interrupts, smirking. Weird. Usually, he's the one who doesn't get your jokes. "They didn't know."
"Didn't know?" you ask. "Didn't know what?"
Malleus chuckles, and pats your head like one would a puppy, or a small child. "Some things are better left unsaid, child of man. You should know better than to make such comments around the younger students, though,"
"...Oh, right," you mutter. "Oops."
Sebek still looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel.
"...It's fine, I'm not offended. I was just... surprised, that's all," Silver says, the color slowly returning to his face.
You still can't seem to figure out what it is. You'd made crude jokes in front of them before, they're not that young, Lilia has said much worse, and you'd only been messing with them. Besides, you don't even know their dad.
Or so you thought.
"Knock knock~" a familiar, cheery voice calls out for you, opening your door.
You look up from your phone, trying to distract yourself from your earlier embarrassment.
"Oh... hey, Lilia,"
"Busy?" he asks, letting himself in, anyway.
"Uh... no. Not really. Is everything okay?"
The fae smiles, the tips of his fangs visible between his lips. He's got that look on him again.
"Malleus told me you caused quite the commotion, earlier,"
Oh, great. Now him, too? You're never gonna live this down. You sigh.
"I..." you hesitate. You really don't want to be scolded again, and you've heard that Lilia can be quite scary when he's mad.
"...We were all just... having a silly little argument, nothing serious, and I made a bad joke, I guess."
"Which waaaas?"
At least he doesn't seem upset, you think. If anything, he seems amused. Which isn't great, either.
You sigh again. "...I joked, in a jokey manner, in a joking conversation, that I had... done certain things with their father,"
"And is that true?"
"What?" you scoff, almost in disbelief. Is he really turning this into a lecture about lying? He never lectures you. "Obviously not! I was joking! People make those kinds of jokes all the time!"
"Ah, but how careless of you. Poor Sebek almost fainted," Lilia says, taking a seat on your bed next to you. He really is turning this into a lecture...
"Hm. But would you like it to be true?"
Pause.
Huh?
Even when he's scolding, he finds a way to surprise you. And yet... what if he's not scolding at all...?
You give him a weird look. "Meaning what?"
Lilia giggles, and you catch a glimmer in his eye. He's teasing. Not lecturing. Teasing. What is he...
"Remember how I told you that I'm much older than I look?"
Oh.
Oh, no.
Your stomach drops. Everyone's horrified looks, Malleus' amusement, Lilia's teasing, suddenly make sense.
"No,"
"Yes," Lilia lowers his eyes, getting closer. "I must say, I'm flattered. But it was rather cruel of you to lie to my boys. I'm simply suggesting we... make that lie a truth."
You stare at him, unflinching. Perhaps you'd always thought he was a little cute, perhaps you're just thinking it now. What you're sure of, though, is that you could hold this over everyone's heads forever. He knows it, too.
Finally, you nod.
Lilia sets a hand on your knee and leans a little closer. "Good. Honesty is a virtue, after all,"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#lilia vanrouge x reader#sorry I can't be normal about that old man. I've written too much sappy stuff lately I needed a sillies break
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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Kaladin as a character makes me go insane
there's something so awfully intriguing about the juxtaposition of a character who was trained to become a surgeon, who is so Fucking Good at medicine and saving lives, because no matter what Kal might say he IS fantastic at it, and who wants more than anything to be a soldier, who becomes a soldier, who Is a soldier, and who seems to prefer it
And yet he time and time again needs to rely on the skills he was taught lowkey against his will and theyre Genuinely what gets him a good part of his respect from Bridge Four AND others before them and that duality coupled with Kaladin's Insanely troubled view on especially his training as a surgeon is SO fucking tasty
It makes me nuts it's So Good it's Such an interesting contrast and Sanderson manages to do Such cool shit by just giving Kaladin BOTH
#the stormlight archive#kaladin stormblessed#Genuinly Kaladin is so good#He's conceptually fucking crazy#He's SO well written#LOVE his character and the stuff he thinks about#A character ever truly#God I love when a certain aspect of who they inherently are just Haunts a character#Kaladin is SO conflicted about his surgeon training and everything related to it#And its So Fucking Good#And I'm on page like 350#I've barely STARTED
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There's a lot of posts out there reminding people that they don't have to respond to every stupid post they see but I feel like it's worth saying that you also don't have to finish reading the post once you've realized it's stupid. Easily one of my favorite things about the internet is the ability to get like two sentences into a post and go "actually I think you're wrong" and then just stop reading.
#'stupid post' in this context is being used to refer to everything from blatant bigotry to fandom opinions you mildly disagree with btw#like I've stopped even bothering to read stuff written by transphobes/ exclusionists/ etc bc it doesn't add anything of value to my life#but also I saw a post earlier where someone's opinion on a fictional character was different than mine and just went#'actually idc what this stranger thinks' and stopped reading lmao#2pm in the morning
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whenever i feel the need to write poetry I stay up way too late and watch at least 10 scishow videos and I'm good to go
#fun fact like 70% of all the cool shit I've written was a direct result of getting way too many feelings about scishow/eons episodes#like you can literally track stuff like whalefall and scrimshaw and mosquito and shifter through scishow eps#next piece i'm considering writing is because of the whole sour being the first flavour all living beings know thing
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hi!! please can you spare a crumb of leviathan fluff please?
You knocked on the door to Leviathan’s room out of courtesy, but he was already calling for you to “come in.”
“No password?” you asked. You had been expecting a fun trivia question like always.
“No need. I could tell it was you.” From the sound of your approaching footsteps to the way you knock, and even the little pause between those two actions. Everyone seemed to know your distinctive traits better than you did.
“What’s up?” Leviathan didn’t look over. He was too preoccupied with his manga. He held it up in a way that obscured most of his face. His legs were sprawled out on the floor with his back against an ottoman and a stack of the latest releases by his side. Leviathan had a knack for lounging comfortably in the most inconvenient positions.
“I was looking for something to read. Mind if I browse your collection?” "Mmhmm.” Having unfiltered access to Leviathan’s collection was a rare privilege extended only to you, who could be trusted to borrow things without damaging or losing them. Or selling them, spilling food on them, bending the pages. There had been an extensive list of detailed rules you pledged to follow.
You spent a couple of minutes browsing the shelves. Honestly, nothing stood out. The room was silent, save for the occasional turn of a page and the humming of the lights. You were just bored and hoped to spend some quality time with a certain nerd, however, he was busy.
Giving up on the shelves, you decided to plop down in front of Leviathan. He was so immersed in his comic that he didn’t notice. A lead-up to a large-scale battle scene occupied so much of his attention, he failed to realize you were crawling over his legs like a spy in an action flick. You finally grabbed his attention by squeezing your shoulders between his arms, bumping your head against the book as you tried to worm under it.
“Hey! Ahh!” Leviathan was startled. He raised his hands in shock, or maybe to preserve his manga, but either way it created a wider path for you to take immediate advantage of. You snuggled up to his shoulder with the determination of a thousand shounen protagonists.
“What… what? What are…? Whu?” Leviathan was at a loss for words until he finally settled on demanding, “what is this?”
You were still trying to get comfortable, which was causing Leviathan a lot of discomfort. You rolled over to lay your back against his chest and bent your legs over his knees. Tugging his arms back down so you could see the manga, you explained, “I wanted to read this one.”
“It’s volume 18 though…?”
You nodded, “cool.”
“Did you even read the other volumes? You won’t get it at all.”
You tilted your head far back to look up at Leviathan, catching his eye for a brief moment before he glanced away. You felt him shudder. “I wanna read this one, though, so explain it to me.”
Far from the upcoming battle in his manga, Leviathan faced a raging battle in his mind. He couldn’t even remember what happened on the last few pages. He’d have to go back and re-read them.
“If it’s too much, just pretend like I’m not even here. I’ll figure it out on my own,” you said. The art looked good enough that you could admire that, even if you didn’t know anything about the plot.
“As if I could do that,” Leviathan complained. With a sigh, he hooked his arms under yours and brought his legs up so you fit better in his lap. Now you wouldn't slide down or constantly readjust your position. His movements were slow and deliberate attempts to make the both of you comfortable. He was cautious, as if you might jump up and run off at any moment.
“We can voice the lines out loud together,” you suggested, “but you’re gonna have to speak up or I won’t be able to hear you.” A chance to play voice actor sounded great to Leviathan. He was definitely interested. ”I’m right here though? What do you mean you can’t hear me?”
“Sorry, what was that? Come closer, the thumping in your chest is just so loud.”
With an embarrassed groan, he slapped the manga against his head and buried his blush-stained face into your hair where you couldn't see.
#noblesse oblige here u go#levi shower pic when#i've got the start of vampire mc and levi written too. i've got the start of a lot of stuff. don't look at my drafts folder.#i'm actually still not hip with fanfic terms so i hope this counts as fluff?#ask request#obey me shall we date#obey me fic#obey me!#obey me#omswd#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me leviathan#obey me levi x mc#obey me fluff#obey me x mc#obey me swd#obey me fanfic#obey me drabble#obey me levi x reader
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No tears
For me
No
Not for me
I
Don't
Cry
I just
Keep
It all
Inside
Locked up
Nice and tight
Where
It can't
Hurt
Me
#spilled ink#poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#spilled thoughts#writers on tumblr#short poem#poetry on tumblr#spilled poetry#stuff i've written#spilled words#my work#my writing
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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How does the great Sandpiper successfully smuggle 130 children out of the Nilfgaard-occupied territory of Hamm? With the power of a forgotten story, a traditional song, and a masterful lie.
A piece for my upcoming fic, The Piper of Hamm, based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin, next in my fairy tale series.
#FINALLY finished this wip from literally TWO YEARS ago and it only took an HOUR to add the background and stuff#my art#my witcher art#witcher#the witcher#jaskier#The Piper of Hamm fic#I'm basically writing all these fics in order on a sticky note#you can see why I haven't gotten around the the Howl's Moving Castle or Stardust AUs yet because of this#TWO YEARS I had this idea#and it is only now being written#my life is pain lmao#but I've never been invested in a fandom this long so I think I've finally found my forever fandom#and the need to write these aus is still strong#so we'll see them one day
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Steve wakes up around three or four in the morning almost every night. He’s always careful getting out of bed. Small movements, slow footsteps. Minimal bones cracking. Doesn’t want to wake Eddie. Not that he needs to be this careful because his boyfriend could sleep through several natural disasters (and if someone bothered to wake him in this scenario, he’d put an impotency curse on them or some equally fucked-up shit).
But that’s one of the reasons why they work. Not because of the sad-dick curse thing. They just exist on different sides of the scale. The raging insomniac and the deepest sleeper known to mankind. It balances out in the weirdest possible way.
Still… he’s always careful. Can never be too careful.
Steve doesn’t really do much when he wakes up at this ungodly hour. He sort of walks around their duplex, drinks a glass of water, opens a window to breathe in that pre-sunrise air. It fills his lungs up differently than normal air. At least, it feels like it does.
Like less people are breathing it in. Like he can take up space without feeling selfish. The logic doesn’t really add up but whatever. Concepts like logic and science are overrated at four in the morning.
After another lap around the place, he slides back into the covers, drapes an arm over Eddie’s waist. His t-shirt is rumpled up to his chest, so Steve is met with linen-warm skin. His fingers curve into Eddie’s sides, pulling himself closer.
Steve yawns, breathing out all of his pre-sunrise air. Inhales the scent of his boyfriend instead. Smiles like an idiot into the pillow because it’s totally a fair trade.
And Eddie… well, he doesn’t even budge - doesn’t even stir when Steve settles in next to him. He just continues to wheeze through his nose, mouth slightly open. Not quite a snore, but Steve will probably tease him about it in the morning regardless.
This right here. This makes Steve’s shitty sleep cycle worth it.
The sun pokes through the window blinds. Eddie pokes Steve’s cheek. Too much poking going on for Steve who definitely didn’t get enough sleep, per usual.
“You got up last night.” Eddie mumbles, still lazily poking him.
“How’d you know?”
“Bed felt different.”
Oh. The way Eddie says it. A crash of honesty. His voice sounds weathered, unused from sleeping. Barely awake. It sort of hits Steve’s heart like a crime he didn’t even know he was capable of committing.
Honestly, he doesn’t get why last night would be any different. Steve gets up most nights, not just last night. But Eddie looks particularly wounded by this (new) realization, so Steve probably shouldn’t point that out right now. Maybe in the afternoon when Eddie is more alert. Less… offended.
“Well, I’m back now.” Steve grabs Eddie’s index finger, the one poking him, and places it over his own lips. Bites at it gently till Eddie pulls away in protest. He’s smiling as he swears. Lets out a string of half-hearted threats about how he’s gonna pour Steve’s hair supplies down the sink for such a vicious attack.
It’s a little irresistible when Eddie gets like this. When he’s the pouty one instead of Steve. All he can think to do is reach out, curl his hand underneath Eddie’s chin and pull him in. Eddie moves so easily, gives up his one-sided fight long enough to kiss Steve. Hands running up his back, legs hooking around Steve’s thighs.
Drowsy, morning kisses are so good. So, so good. Their lips feel heavier, their motions feel thicker. Every touch is guided by pure need. Steve fucking needs this, to feel Eddie curving into him, arms framing his own, groaning every damn time they break away. It all makes Steve feel needed too. Needed by the guy who changed the trajectory of his life by asking Steve to ‘hang out or something’ two years ago.
Or Something turned out to be absolutely everything.
“New rule.” Eddie huffs, drags his lips down Steve’s jaw. “For every hour you spend awake during the night, you owe me.”
Steve laughs. “I owe you, huh?”
“Mhmm. You owe me an extra hour of wallowing in bed together in the morning.”
“What about work?”
“The hours will have to rollover, I guess. Accrue interest.” Eddie lifts up from Steve’s neck, eyebrows raised. Clearly having too much fun with this. “We can hash out the details over coffee and burnt toast.”
Typically, Steve would play along, continue the little comedy routine that Eddie starts up. But he’s so damn tired from the lack of sleep and early fucking wake-up call. So instead, he tugs Eddie back down by his collar and whispers, “Whatever you say, baby.”
Because that’s what it boils down to. He’d do anything for Eddie to kiss him this deep, till their lips blister and their jaws ache. Steve would give every fragment of lovesick happiness in his heart, just to hear the way Eddie says his name all breathy and raw.
He can’t say that out loud, dear god no. Eddie would mock his ass into next century. So Steve just hums into Eddie’s mouth, twists the collar of his shirt enough to permanently wrinkle it. They’re verging into that gray area between cable-approved makeout sessions and dry humping till the alarm goes off. If there wasn’t an alarm to worry about, Steve would already have Eddie’s boxers already his ankles and moaning his name the way he likes it best.
Whoever invented alarm clocks are the ultimate boner-killer.
Steve ducks his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, lays a few quick kisses on top of his shoulder. Hopes that translates to, ‘I wanna suck you off till there’s nothing left, but I’m a boring fucking adult with a boring fucking job.’
The translation must be clear enough because Eddie rolls off of him and heads to the bathroom. Seems just as grumpy about it as Steve. Good. They can be cranky together.
When he comes back out, they get ready for their respective work shifts. Steve looks over, watches Eddie struggle with a tangled portion of his hair, before giving up. Accepting defeat way faster than Steve ever would. “Uh, Eddie?” He tries his best to hide his snickering through the question.
“Yeah?”
“Why does it matter if I wake up sometimes?” Okay. Most times.
“You’re gone.” Eddie shrugs. “Simple as that.”
The reaction is too mellow for Eddie though. Shrugging and dismissiveness? Nah. He’s downplaying the shit out of whatever he’s feeling, and Steve’s not having it.
“What do you mean it’s simple?”
“It’s just… I don’t know. Doesn’t seem fair.” Eddie checks the clock, then sighs. “I want more time.”
More time? More time with Steve or more time in general? Either way, it doesn’t add up. They’re young - they have all the fucking time they could ever want. Also, they live together and have all the same friends. It’s not exactly a logical theory.
Then again, neither is Steve’s ‘pre-sunrise air supply’ theory. None of it makes sense. But at least they’re here. Wanting fresh air and each other. That’s enough logic for a lifetime.
“Hey.” Steve walks over and takes Eddie’s hand. He taps over his ring finger, the one that symbolizes something they can’t have. Not now, not in this society. Still. It means something. So he stares intently at it, rubs over the place where a ring might sit. Thinks that Eddie would pick out something bold. Something gaudy and perfectly him.
More time. Steve gets it, he does. He releases Eddie’s hand and nods. Smiles.
“I’ll steal us as much time as I can, Eddie Munson.”
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#this is the first little thing I've written since submitting my Big Bang draft#it’s a lot softer than my normal stuff but hey#insomnia writing do be like that sometimes#(so yeah - I projected my sleep problems onto Steve)#(and yeah - I projected my tangly hair onto Eddie)#let me liveeeeeeee
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I was working on a new fic that I was really looking forward to, but in light of recent revelations, I'm gonna be taking a step back I think
also i removed him from the member masterlist and all of his fics, excluding things like YIMA and the poly series which I'm considering re-editing to get rid of him
#because honestly i'm disgusted and shocked#and i know my fics are entirely irrelevant in the scheme of things#but i kinda want to go through all of them and edit him out#which is easy (and already done by the time i'm posting this) for him as a background character in#some of the other members fics i've written but in others it's more complicated#like in yima and the poly series#as well as anything i've ever written that directly involved him#i also.... like was thinking about some of the stuff i included in yima with hc watching cameras#and now i..... i really want to change that bc when i was writing it i was like ah yeah this is pretty like gross#but now i'm like actually thinking realistically about that and it's fucking foul#so i'm definitely taking a step back#and i may quietly re-edit some stuff or i may just not be able to bring myself to do that#i have removed his masterlist from my member masterlist and all of his fics
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TLDR
Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.
"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.
"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"
Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.
"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.
And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.
And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!
You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.
#I can't believe some of ya'll are making me a BillDip Shipper again for your horribly cruel takes#Gravity Falls#BillDip#Dipper Pines#Bill Cipher#Billford#and I am not tagging both ships to start 'drama' or mock anyone#this applies to all ya'll right now#This is probably what gets me hate mail finally#but i have to say it#I'm a proshipper#and I'm sorry but I think a lot of you don't actually understand what that means#And I'm really sick of some of the stuff I've been seeing recently in the Gravity Falls tag#If you wanna block me or unfollow me#that's fine#just please think what I've said through before you decide to say something mean#Rant#Rant Post#I admit I'm scared to post this#but I'm also angry enough to have written it down
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