#string-heavy songs immediately make me insane <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[bylertruther]

no one asked but thor's theme (aka the hand of odin & the hammer of thor, i think) from g0d of war ragnar0k is my favorite jam of the moment. Ur Welcome btw 10/10 track(s) i think u should listen to it if um. u like Good Sounds and such 👍

[turntabless]

🔮 honey - samia 🔮

welcome! to! the! first! installment! of! turntable takes!!! that’s a working title i think it’s cute. idk <3 to start this off i took a request from my wife @missnoirr herself <3 thanks tiana i love you !!! this is not going to be well written or concise and i also don’t know much about the specifics of music theory. sorry guys

genre: pop, indie rock

kill her freak out

ooooooh this is good. keys throughout the beginning are insanely thematic and fit really well with her beautiful voice! the layering is gorgeous! the lyrics hurt me and are very filmcore to me, fitting perfectly with the music <3 the little distortion bits about halfway through are so tasteful. yummy. the layering growing and the volume getting louder? love. chiming strings are lovely. atmosphere insane !!!! warbling keys at the end i owe my life to you <3

charm you

immediately struck by the acoustic guitar and the layered vocals. beautiful. bass and drums pick up and it’s a vibe !! oooooooooh god falsetto in the background fucks! he lil upticks at the end of some phrases are mesmerizing. lyrics are fun! and so earnest at parts! two tracks in samia already has a gorgeous voice.

pink balloon

stripped down piano and vocals immediately i’m in love. jesus these lyrics are. something else and presented in a way that captures the emotion of the song. feels kinda nostalgic and youthful which absolutely adds to it. jesusssssss the heartbreak the reality of it. the ending phrases are going to

murder me.

mad at me (featuring papa mbye)

OOOO fun lil intro with a good beat and keys!! voice is so effortless this is insane. loving the distortion and the CRACKLY GUITAR. so nice. goooood!!!! all of these lyrics so far are incredibly real and feel so coming of age and youthful. papa mbye has such a smooth voice it’s so pleasing to me? and it works insanely well with samia’s???also love the interplay between the two with the lyrics. lovely

sea lions

screaming “porn kills love outside your window with the adventists” was a fun sexy lil starting line and immediately endeared me. cause yeah. also starting the phrase with just her voice then adding the bass-heavy keys is such a good choice. also this is just painting such a picture of a nasty breakup with someone you still care for and it’s killing me right now! beautiful. samia QUEEN OF LAYERING. WOAH. DISTORTION BREAKDOWN INTO SOME DRUM BEATS AND SYNTH. this is so funky but the chiming keys still feel sooooo youthful and hopeful !!! very intrigued at what the spoken parts near the end mean and might look into it further but samia’s voice is beautiful on top of it. probably one of my favourites on the album so far.

to me it was

ohhhhhhh fade in from the last song with some pretty acoustic guitar. this feels like a story or letter adressed to someone and gives very much the impression of anxiety and coming into one’s own with someone else by your side. beautiful. very emotionally evocative with some beachy guitar and fun slides. this one might be the realest one i think. ALTO HARMONY JESUS that was nice. more layering and harmonies and it feels so nostalgic and so hopeful!!!! this is beautiful. a little spoken part that gives a slice of life that transitions into another language!!!

breathing song

ooooooo. separated synthy parts at the beginning and her vocals (autotuned but so tastefully!) shine so beautifully. twinkling notes mixing beautifully with the bass-heavy synths then the piano picks up on top of that? raindrops! these lyrics….. very evocative and make me think of an unhealthy relationship and working through the mental health aspect of it. OH instrumental cuts out and samia belts so desperately…. gorgeous. ABRUPT CUT ??? queen

honey

so lovely. acoustic guitar strumming pretty quick and light and the lyrics are VERY night out with the girls after a long week and the world just falls away. so hopeful but at the same time there’s… a note of melancholy that i can’t help but feel? layered harmony and drums kicking in, this is so feel-good. BASS BASS BASS. GOD YUM? cute lil riff underneath? oooooooh. male harmony underneath transitioning into what sounds like a choir. beautiful beautiful beautiful. this is truly like. 2am at a party you don’t want to stop!

nanana

ohhhhhh god. the lyrics on this one…. starts out hurting lots!!! “trying not to cry while the choir sings bleak midwinter cause they believe in something” ohhhhhh. sweet little guitar plucking with the slightest bit of feedback/electricity filtering through. feels like a bit of a lullaby. PICKING UP WITH SOME BASS AGAIN i love this !!! still feels very ethereal and honestly like looking out of the window during winter and watching the snowflakes fall, contemplative and depressed and can’t look away. WHISPERS IN THE BACKGROUND and instruments and vocals harmonizing with her voice. CUTE MALE CHOIR MOMENT with a soft “hey boys” introduction, and i love that their voices aren’t as polished.

amelia

keys!!!! soft vocals with a bit of rasp filtering through is scratching my brain quite nicely !!! OOOOO !!! fun drum beats and layering with some pretty guitar! her voice kinda phasing in and out is so nice! another really exciting song that feels like FUN. samia’s higher register is my favourite thing that’s insane !!!! lower guitar riffing hidden in the background provides such a nice harmony there. PULSATING SYNTHY BURST. WHEW.

dream song

ooooooo. pretty pretty lower guitar mixing so well with her voice, transitioning into an ascending little riff that goes back down. layered harmonies get me INSANE!!!! this song sounds like feeling on top of the world with someone no matter how impulsive or reckless it is. beautiful contemplative lyrics <3

thoughts: beautiful beautiful album perfect for coming of age movies, breakups and scream-crying about!!! i love the way samia uses layering and the keys, and the way the song progresses and gets more complex and deeper/bassier! fun poppy indie mix!!! samia’s lyrics go so hard and they’re subtle sometimes in that you hear it, take a quick second to process it and feel your heart drop a little <33

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFVIII)

eight

VIII is a weird game. Everything about it is weird. The plot is weird, the gameplay is weird, the world is weird, the characters are weird, and of course, the sounds are weird. They're unique! Like VII, VIII has a very distinct sound, and I love it. I love VIII for all of its strangeness. I think out of the 3 PS1 games, it's not my Favorite soundtrack, but it's fucking Final Fantasy. There's literally not a bad soundtrack in this entire goddamn series. This shit is B tier AT WORST. Let me tell you about my favorite songs, as I love to do, and you can judge me silently in your transparent gray textboxes if you so wish.

5. Silence and Motion This is a silly song; I love how silly it is. It's perfect for a silly future city ruled by a very silly man. This starts by feeling very strange and cautious, probably like how you would feel if you entered a random futuristic city in the middle of an icy wasteland - and then the circus music starts? and it makes you feel like, oh actually this place is good? Then it speeds up. You feel a sense of rush. A silly sense of rush, but a sense of rush regardless. And Boom, the fuckin super speedy xylophone kicks in, and this song sounds like a busy city, with people running around, it SOUNDS like what a busy news station would sound like. That's my favorite part right there.

4. Blue Fields bum bum BUM BUM bum bum bum bum BUM BUM. Going from a silly song into a fun song. Fun, yet also calming. Blue Fields is the perfect name for this song, because to me, the main instrument in the melody reminds me of water? This might be an insane person take but like it sounds like a pool looks to me. But not like a community pool I mean like a classic backyard pool with the good blue siding. I'm rambling worse than I usually do. I do not get sick of listening to this song while walking across the overworld, and it is very important for an overworld song to be something you are not going to get sick of, cause you're going to be ALWAYS listening to it.

3. Balamb GARDEN This song sounds like a school. This is a song of LEARNING. And like sure it's a school where you're learning to be a child soldier but like who cares this is an AMAZING song for where it plays. It feels like school, but it also feels like home (it is home!). I love the strange piano sound it has (again, FFVIII has a very unique sound and I love it for that) and then you get the odd flute/wind instruments as well. As I was starting this list, I was expecting me to put a lot more battle themes, but it turns out I love the overworld themes a lot more than I thought??? Anyways, let's immediately throw that thought away and go into:

2. The Extreme Here's the battle music. The final battle music even. This song starts out so cool, giving you the same FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC "motif" that has been spread through a few points throughout the game, and a somber piano opening before going full into the actual meat of the song, which is INCREDIBLY COOL SOUNDING. It's all like, awesome fuckin synth instruments and a high energy melody and backing that pumps you up as a final boss theme should. I love the part where the synth goes ham up and down the scale towards the middle of the song, and then of course there's the part where it slows down and brings in the choir reminding you of almost like, the core of what this encounter is, against a magic wielding sorceress (who I swear the translation should have been witch but whatever!!!). Banger song.

1. Force Your Way Honest to god contender for best normal boss theme in the whole series (VI might have it beaten out by a slight margin). I LOVE the intro so much; the organ and the heavy string hits building up the atmosphere with the little bwoodooloodooloodoo in the back going into the sickest synth melody you've ever heard in your goddamn life. Throw in a little heavy MIDI guitar and you've got the hypest moment of your life. I can imagine Uematsu had a LOT of fun crafting this one for the game, this is easily the pinnacle of how unique FFVIII's sound is and I hope I've beaten you over the head with this fact that I've made enough. This song should make you feel like you should pick up that Yamaha keyboard your family has sitting in the basement and you should fiddle with it for At Least Like 2 Hours.

Honorable mentions this time go to The Man With The Machine Gun, Maybe I'm a Lion, Fisherman's Horizon, The Castle, and water and water and water water (Don't Be Afraid)

[itsamejin]

leave me || part 3 || suga angst ||

Part 1 || Part 2

Warning: angst, cheating, cursing, intoxication (heavy drinking)

Summary: He’s cheating and you’re aware. You just don’t know what to do about it.

–

Min Yoongi, to say the least, was tired. He was tired of his fame, his fans, his group members. No, fuck it. Min Yoongi was exhausted.

The guilt that came with his infidelity led him to a nearby bar where he could drown himself in his sorrows once again. He should've known better. 

It's been two weeks since you've left him and in some twisted way, he still believes you'd come back. If he had been kinder, if he had told you sooner... Would you have been more forgiving?

Shot after shot of vodka, Yoongi didn't know when to stop. It was self-destructive, he knew it better than anyone else. But Yoongi didn't need someone to tell him what's right and what’s wrong about his situation because he already fucking knew that he messed up, that there was no turning back.

Yoongi was prepared to pass out at that bar tonight, lacking the energy to call a cab and drag himself home. He was prepared to just lay there and hope the bartender doesn't call the cops on him or that even more videos of his drunken adventures show up online the next day. He was so prepared that it came as a shock when a pretty young lady scooped him up and took him to the BTS dorm.

As he got one last glimpse at his savior, he wondered why he felt so at home in her arms.

–

Waking up with a feeling of intense grogginess, Yoongi regretted every decision he made last night. The world was spinning and he needed to throw up. Running to the restroom, Yoongi splurged his guts out. He coughed up the remainder of his vomit and groaned. He muttered incoherent words, clinging onto his scalp for dear life. It wasn't the migraine that hurt the most, it was that deja vu feeling of you patting his back over the toilet bowl after an intense party you both attended.

"Yoongi, baby, are you okay?" a sweet voice called.

Jieun.

Yoongi groaned even louder. He must've drunkenly texted or called her last night. Of course she was the person that took him home. Why did he trick himself into thinking it was you?

Jieun lightly tapped on the bathroom door and opened it slightly. She gasped at his appearance.

"What happened?!" she screeched.

"Just threw up, that's all," he said, his mouth sore and his head pulsing.

Jieun looked at him with those puppy dog eyes, pouting at his wrecked state.

"C'mon, let's get you fixed up babe.”

She was ever so sweet, ever so loving. But somehow the look of worry on her face made Yoongi's migraines even worse. Without warning, Yoongi threw up the remainder of last night's alcohol all over Jieun’s feet.

–

“Hey can anyone help me in here? Yoongi’s passed out on the floor,” Jieun called out from inside the bathroom, scrubbing the vomit off her feet under the bathtub faucet.

When she heard no response, Jieun wiped her feet on the bath rug and stepped over Yoongi’s lying form to get to the living room.

A few minutes ago, the rest of BTS was on the sofa watching reruns of a 90s sitcom, but it seems that ever since she got there, all the members except one moved to their own rooms.

“Hey Jin, can you help me carry Yoongi to his bed again?” she asked kindly. 

It seemed everyone wanted nothing to do with her today because he audibly sighed and did not acknowledge her existence even as he got up to pass by her. 

Seokjin grimaced at the site of Yoongi. He reeked of alcohol, vomit, and bad decisions, but Seokjin soldiered through his own queasiness to get him on the bed.

Jieun watched from the door frame and chuckled nervously. 

“What’s gotten into him lately?” she wondered out loud. 

“Jieun I think you should go,” Seokjin replied coldly, ignoring her previous question.

“What? Why?”

“I’ll handle it from here,” he said, keeping his focus on Yoongi’s intoxicated form.

“I need to know what’s going on, Jin. He’s been like this for the past few weeks, I’m worried-”

“Yeah well, maybe you shouldn’t be,” he cut her off. This was the first time he looked at her throughout her whole visit.

“Jin, I know you don’t like me but-”

“This has nothing to do with how I feel, Jieun. You just need to go,” he walked towards her.

“I just want him to be okay,” she replied, tears forming in her eyes. Seokjin was always like this to her, saying hurtful comments with no consideration towards her own feelings.

“Trust me Jieun when I say that you could do so much better than Yoongi,” he started. “You’ll learn that soon enough. For now, I need you to leave.”

The tears ran down Jieun’s eyes with no semblance of stopping. She didn’t know why he felt the need to even talk about Yoongi’s worth when it came to her. Seokjin pitied her ignorance but he knew it wasn’t his place to say anything too specific. Let Yoongi reap what he sowed.

Afraid of how her voice would come out, Jieun just nodded. Without another word, she slipped her high heels back on and left the dorm. She noticed, before she left, that Yoongi’s room was strangely empty. 

As if it was a guest room.

– 

Yoongi, woke up once again, in a bed he hadn’t slept in since he moved out with you. Instead of being greeted with Jieun's honey-like voice, the first thing he saw was Seokjin’s disgusted expression.

“What the fuck, can you not look at me like that right when I wake up,” Yoongi murmured under his breath.

“Are you feeling any better or should I get you something?” Seokjin asked, but there was obvious contempt in his voice. He said it out of courtesy, not concern.

Yoongi caught this so he shook his head, but he definitely needed some hangover medicine to ease the headache.

“I’m good.”

“Alright,” Seokjin sighed. “I’m just gonna tell you straight up."

Yoongi scratched the back of his neck in irritation and confusion.

"What?"

"You barhopping every fucking night is ruining the group’s image," Seokjin started, "Do you know how many videos the company has taken down with you screaming at bartenders for refusing to give you any more drinks?”

Yoongi groaned.

“Listen, bro. I’m sorry. It won’t happen-”

“No, you listen. You don’t think I know what this is about?” Seokjin asked grabbing Yoongi by the collar of his shirt.

Yoongi only tilted his head in confusion. Seokjin continued on.

“You’re insane if you think [Y/N] is gonna take you back after this and you’re even more insane for stringing along Jieun so you can have someone to have sex with while you drink away your problems.”

Yoongi wanted so desperately to respond, but Seokjin’s grip on him was intense.

“We all know Yoongi, all of us. That you cheated on [Y/N]. And it’s crazy because just last year you were planning to get married to her and now look at you!”

Seokjin let go of Yoongi and stepped back, clearly disgruntled with Yoongi’s lack of a reaction.

“I didn’t think it would come to this either but-”

“Stop making excuses, Yoongi. You can deceive those poor girls but you can’t trick me. Get this shit settled with before you damage everything we built up to get here. Namjoon was too scared to confront you because you’re his hyung, but I’ve stayed quiet long enough.”

Yoongi looked down at his bed sheets, unable to come up with a good enough response to Seokjin’s harsh words. As if his body wasn’t already drained, the tears went down his face onto the blanket so rapidly he was almost blinded. He grabbed his hair and sniffled.

“I want to make things right, but I don’t know what to do,” he whispered, almost to himself.

Seokjin glared at him and made his way to the door. Before exiting Yoongi's room, he turned around only slightly.

“Apologize to both of them. The right way.”

–

Yoongi spent hours rehearsing this exact moment as he stood in front of your parents' house. He kept repeating the same words over and over again as if he was trying to memorize rap lyrics to a new song. 

As he finally took a deep breath in, Yoongi pressed the doorbell. There was nothing at first and went to press it again until he heard light footsteps on the other side. His heart rate picked up and Yoongi’s palms were sweaty.

Without looking through the peek hole, you opened the door without hesitation. Immediately regretting it, you attempted to shut the door just as quick. Unfortunately, Yoongi’s foot stuck out and stopped it from closing any further. You wanted to scream, but you know the reaction your neighbors would have if you actually did.

“I just want to talk,” Yoongi said, reading off the script he prepared in his mind.

“I don’t,” you replied coldly.

“I just want closure. Nothing else. I need to see you one last time,” he said, getting choked up between his sentences.

You paused your attempts to close the door to assess the situation. There was no need to see him one last time, you thought. You already got all the closure you needed. As you were about to reject his offer, he continued speaking.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just... meet me at the apartment tomorrow. I’ll be waiting.”

He took his foot out and shut the door for you. He came as easily as he left and yet for some odd reason, it felt like he hadn’t even come at all. After a few seconds of deliberation, you opened the door again. There was no sign of him and that got you to thinking. Would it be such a bad idea?

–

The next day came and Yoongi felt like you weren’t going to show up at all. No message, no call, no nothing. He waited in the apartment after preparing a dinner that he doubts you’d even touch if you did ever decide to show up. 

It felt so cold in the comfort of his own home, with no other person occupying the vast space with him. He no longer slept in the bedroom, opting for the couch because he always seemed to tear up at the sight of the bed without your body laying next to his. 

Yoongi wondered if this endless waiting was similar to how you felt when he was at the studio or with Jieun late at night. Again, the guilt bubbled up inside him and his heart clenched with hurt. He felt suffocated in the apartment and he need to step outside to clear his mind. He’d visit the boys and maybe then their presence would lighten his mood.

–

“Yoongi, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” a voice called out to him as he walked down the dorm’s hallway. He turned around to put a face to the voice and sure enough, it was exactly who he expected. Jieun.

“I thought today was your day off, why weren’t you at the dorm earlier?” she asked, clutching onto his arm when she got to him.

Yoongi flinched at the contact. He felt so conflicted with himself. He wanted to push her off, but he also wanted to tug her into his arms and pull her in closer. He wanted so badly to tell her everything, to apologize for his actions and that she didn’t need a scumbag like him. But he was still so selfish because he thought that if it didn’t work out with you, at least he’d still have her.

“I actually have something to do today, let’s talk another time. Okay?” he replied, softly pulling himself away from her. She pursed her lips and sighed.

“I’m just worried about you, alright? You’ve been so distant lately. I just want to ease some of the stress.”

“I know you do, but I need to figure this out for myself. I’ll text you later, okay?”

She nodded and pecked him on the lips. He wished he could say that he hated it, that the feeling of her kissing him repulsed him, but Jieun was Jieun and he couldn’t resist kissing her back.

“Another time then, babe?”

“Yeah,” he said solemnly. As Yoongi watched her walk back down the hallway towards the elevator, he felt like ripping out his own heart and stomping on it. Because even though it's fucked up that he's still so infatuated with Jieun after everything that has happened, he can’t help but want her to stay instead of leave.

Staring at his dorm door, he decides against going inside. He didn’t feel like seeing Seokjin’s disapproving gaze again.

–

It was a bad idea. 

It was such a fucking bad idea. 

You paced back and forth the apartment lobby like a mad woman. You should leave. There was enough time to go back home and relax, but again and again the nagging voice in your head telling you to hear him out seemed to annoy you much more after his surprise visit. You wanted to know so badly why he came to you reeking of desperation and heartbreak. If there was even a reason to his affair and if he truly regretted his actions, you just needed to know. Making your way to the apartment elevators, it was almost fate that you’d bump into the very person you despised besides Yoongi.

The other girl.

She was just as shocked as you, but for another reason. Your handbag had fallen to the ground and she apologized profusely.

She exuded the very definition of beauty. Her skin glowed with no imperfections, her legs long, and fingers dainty. Aphrodite had appeared right in front of you and all you could do was stare at her with an open mouth. You should’ve been more angry to see her in front of you, but you couldn’t shake of the feeling that Yoongi deserved to be with someone like her. Someone so unlike you.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy,” she chuckled. 

Jieun picked up your bag and the contents that slipped out and gave it back to you. She looked at your stunned form and laughed a bit more.

“I’m sorry, were you a fan? Would you like to take a photo?”

Bewildered by her response, you just shook your head.

“N-no, I was just shocked to see a celebrity here," you lied, knowing full well that BTS and a couple of other groups have lived there for years.

“Oh, well I was visiting my boyfriend so you’ll probably see me often if you live here,” she smiled to herself.

The first spark of anger rang through you when she said that. It was then the image of her beauty had started to crumble as you thought of Yoongi and her together. The nights they spent, the romantic dinners they had. 

None of them with you.

“Well, I need to get going so it was nice meeting you,” you replied, clearly wanting to get out of the conversation.

Just as Jieun was planning to say goodbye, she noticed the ring on your finger and something about it made her heart drop. Now where did she see that ring before?

–

You stood in front of your old apartment with a new sense of purpose, no longer nervous or anxious. You were ready to walk in there and break his heart into pieces. To reject any compromise or excuses he’d make. You knocked on the doorbell and waited a few seconds until you knocked again. The door opened slowly, as if a gust of wind was what got it to open. You pushed the door to reveal Yoongi in a white sweater and ripped jeans. He smiled and invited you in.

“Sorry, I didn’t answer the first time. I thought you were one of the boys,” he said as you pushed past him, took off your shoes, and walked into the living room. The place was so bare, it was a wonder that anyone even lived in it. You did a good job, you thought, of cleaning everything out so perfectly.

“Let’s make this quick Yoongi,” you replied curtly. The run-in with Jieun had pissed you off immensely and you just wanted this confrontation to be over with.

Yoongi looked at you and sighed. 

“I made dinner,” he said.

“I don’t care.”

Your response went as expected, he thought. Yoongi sat on the sofa as you hesitantly took a seat on the arm chair next to it.

“Well, get on with it, Yoongi. Talk.”

He hated how aggressive you sounded. This conversation was supposed to be civil, meant to convince you that he was truly sorry for his actions. He needed to speak wisely if he wanted to get you to calm down.

“I’m sorry that I cheated on you with Jieun,” he started, slowly easing into the words. You scoffed.

“Why are you sorry? I ran into her earlier, she’s a very nice girl," you said sarcastically.

Your voice was so coated with malice that Yoongi struggled to breath under your cold gaze.

“Please don’t blame Jieun. It’s not her fault,” he gulped. “I never told her about you. About anything. I led her on.”

You gritted your teeth enough to hear it.

“Do you make it your business to break girl’s hearts, Min Yoongi?”

Feeling guilty over your toxic behavior towards Jieun earlier, you channeled that anger to the man sitting in front of you instead.

He flinched and shook his head.

“I’m so fucking stupid, [Y/N]. You don’t know how much I hate myself for what I did to you and what I did to her, but I didn’t think it’d turn out like this. I thought we could work it out. I didn’t think this would be the fucking end-”

“Yoongi, you’re a fucking cheater. Us breaking up was actually the best case scenario,” you said, raising your voice.

“[Y/N], please. I’m asking you to hear me out.”

“Go ahead,” you started, “but nothing is going to make me forgive you. I hope you know that.”

He brushed his hair back with his hand. He didn’t know where to start and whether it would even make sense in the end.

“Our relationship just didn’t feel like how it used to, you know? It’s like you weren’t the person I fell in love with when we first started dating,” he cringed at his word choice but kept going. “And Jieun... she was so much like you and I couldn’t get her out of my head. But I know now. I know I should’ve treated you better, I know you deserve-”

“Then why the fuck am I here Yoongi,” you stood up, looking down at his sitting form. “Why the fuck are you expecting me to accept your apology when you don't deserve it? You don’t care about how I feel at all, Yoongi. Because you’re a selfish bastard.”

You were practically screaming at this point, tears threatening to fall to the ground.

“You’re here because you know you want me back too [Y/N],” he said, his voice slightly shaking. “I know you want me back as much as I do."

“You're the last person I want to be with right now” you seethed. “You could die at this moment and I wouldn’t fucking care.”

To that, Yoongi snapped. You were making things so much more difficult than it had to be.

“It must’ve been so easy for you, huh [Y/N]?” Yoongi stood up. “It must’ve been so easy to play the victim when you were the one that fucking fell out of love with me first.”

You looked at him, confusion written all over your face. The argument had escalated beyond what you were expecting. There was no fucking way he was bringing that up.

“Yoongi, how are you not over that? It’s been a year-”

“What the fuck do you mean [Y/N]? I proposed to you! I promised you my life and you fucking said no. That shit is gonna live with me until I die. There's no way I'm going to forget that.”

“Oh no, Yoongi did I hurt your feelings?” you said in a mocking tone. “At least I didn’t fuck another guy behind your back for a few months and announced it to the whole fucking world!”

“That’s not the point and you know it!” he walked towards you, his eyes watery. “You didn’t even give me a reason, [Y/N]. The least you could’ve done was tell me why.”

You avoided eye contact with him, opting for the bare wall behind him and the wooden panel floors underneath you. You hated it when he was angry, but you needed to get this off your chest.

“You want your reason, Yoongi? You want it plain and simple?” you said, gaining more confidence.

You treaded closer to him, so close to his face that you could feel his breath on your skin. Your face neared his left earlobe.

“I wasn’t fucking ready to spend my life with a guy who was eventually gonna cheat on me anyways.”

You pulled away to take a glimpse at his shocked state. You were satisfied with the reaction. He looked almost just as broken as you did a few weeks ago. His fist was clenched so hard you saw the veins protruding underneath his pale skin. Composing himself, he took a deep breath.

“[Y/N]. I’m begging you. I’m not going to ask for a second chance, not anymore. It’s obvious we’re past that,” he swallowed back his tears. “I just want to know the real reason. None of that petty shit.”

You scoffed at his naivety. Maybe it was time to come clean, to do him a favor.

“Yoongi, did you really think that just because you asked your company to let you propose means that they’re actually going to approve that easily?”

He squinted.

“What are you talking about?”

“How many times did I have to tell you that I loved you even after you proposed? How many times did I have to fucking reassure to you that eventually we would get married?! That it just wasn’t the right time-”

“So you’re saying that-” he tried to interject.

“Yoongi. You’re smarter than this. I would have fucking said yes in a heartbeat if you’re manager didn’t come to me and tell me that BigHit would ruin my life if we got married. My face would have been all over the news. Your contract would have gotten terminated, Yoongi. They put all that pressure on me and you didn’t even fucking notice,” you cried.

“Wait, but-”

You wanted so desperately not to cry in front of him but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. He grabbed the back of his head with both hands in exasperation.

“How the hell would you expect me to know that if you didn’t tell me at all?” he replied.

“It doesn’t matter, Yoongi," you shook your head. "Because I’m positive you would have cheated on me anyways. That’s the type of person you are, Yoongi. It didn’t matter if I said yes, it didn’t matter if I said no. Because we’d still be arguing in the end anyways.”

“That’s not true and you know it-” he started, but got cut off as he stumbled over his own words. You only continued on.

“You know I treated this promise ring like the real thing,” you cried, fiddling around with the accessory adorned on your finger. “It didn’t matter to me if we were married, just as long as were together. Because six years with you meant everything to me, but now I realize I waited for no reason. I don’t need it anymore Yoongi. I don’t need you.”

You struggled to take off the ring that had been stuck to your finger for so long that it felt foreign having it off. You walked passed him and slammed it down onto the coffee table. It felt liberating but that tiny voice that wants to forgive Yoongi once again whimpered because of the ring’s absence. His expression had noticeably darkened, his eyes red.

“You had no fucking right to make that decision for me [Y/N]. You had no right to keep that information to yourself when it could’ve saved our relationship.”

“What’s done is done,” you replied, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.

He chuckled out of disbelief.

“No, fuck that," he replied. "You don't get to give me a half-ass response like that. I spent a whole year wondering where I went wrong and if you even loved me anymore and you tell me now that you said no because of my company?! I would have quit, [Y/N]! I would have done everything to be with you!”

“And that’s the problem Yoongi,” you threw your hands up in the air in frustration. “You give up anything without thinking! You see how easily you could find someone else to love? How easily you gave us up?”

He shook his head, tears streaming down his face.

“That’s different, I was in a dark place in my life. If I only knew I would have never even talked to Jieun,” he said.

“Stop making excuses Yoongi. It’s not going to work with me anymore,” you whispered.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry [Y/N]. I'm so fucking sorry," he said trying to move closer towards you.

"I’ve realized that I'm better off without you and it’s time you realize that you don't need me as much as you say you do. Think about the months you spent ignoring me," you said, wiping the tears away. "I accept your apology, but please. Never contact me again.”

As you turned your back on him, he pulled you to face him again. But the hurt in your eyes made him let go. His throat was so dry that he couldn’t speak another word as you walked towards the front door. You put on your shoes and didn't bother to look back at his broken state. You opened the door and underneath your breath, you whispered "Goodbye, Yoongi."

And with that, you exited the apartment you once called home.

Even in that moment, Yoongi couldn’t shake the image of you turning your back on him outside of his head. Because it looked so much like Jieun’s earlier that day. That’s right. 

He needs to see Jieun.

–

AN: I will say this as loud as I can. I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS WAS RELEASED AFTER A WHOLE YEAR. TRULY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I AM SORRY. This was already written and done with a year ago. Part 4 is done as well, the last part of the series. I was just so unconfident with this third part that I never posted it and I regret that decision very much. I never forgot about this blog, I was just very insecure about my writing that I have all these drafts for no one to see. I’ll start posting them and even accept drabble requests from now on. (I’m in quarantine what else can I do?) I should have kept you all updated, but I didn’t and I promise from now on I will communicate with you guys so much more. I actually checked my inbox yesterday and was flooded with support from you guys and that really motivated to keep this blog going. I legitimately almost cried. Thank you guys and I love you all. I hope you liked this part. 

Tags: @jaiuneamesolitaiire @milady-mira @somewhereinthestarss @yunkibts @cuteipat

If you want to be added to the tag list, just go to my ask box and let me know!

[asupernaturalgirl]

I’m Too Sober for This - Part 3

Part 1 

Part 2

Summary: The Winchester’s sister goes through her first heartbreak and must call Dean and Sam for help. 

A/N: As I wrote the second and first part to this, I realized how much I loved the idea for a series so I decided to give it a go. I think I’m going to do kind of a journey of the reader growing up and how Sam and Dean react to certain situations. 

Warnings: break ups, arguing

...

    Slowly, you approach the bus stop down the street from where you were staying, tears streaming down your face as you pull the phone out of your back pocket and dial the number seared into your brain from the time your turned five years old. Your older brother Dean’s number.

    Before you push call, you take a moment to reflect on what happened and how you were going to tell Dean this information without him exploding. Jacob had taken you on a trip for your birthday. It took a lot of convincing as far as Dean and Sam went. You were turning 16 though, and you didn’t want a big party. They understood all you wanted was to be with the boy you loved on your birthday and enjoy a nice trip at the lake. Because of this, they hesitantly agreed to allow you to go 100 miles away from the bunker for a weekend.

    Somehow, as it usually does, suspicious happenings started to occur in the town you were in. While it ended up just being some rowdy teens, you had thought it was a spirit haunting and did research. Jacob thought you were absolutely insane as you went through book after book, trying to get information on what it could be. He had had enough and forced you to tell him what was going on.

    “What the hell is happening, Y/N,” He questions, his eyebrows furrowed and angry. “You haven’t slept since we got here yesterday.”

    “Honey,” You start, closing the book you’d just finished as you turn around in your seat and gaze at him in the eyes. “It’s so hard to explain - hell, I can barely explain it sometimes. I just need you to trust me.”

    “You are off your rocker, woman,” He yells, pointing at you. “Tell me what is going on with you or we’re going home.”

    You couldn’t leave the case here without knowing what was actually going on. You had deducted based on the reading you’ve done that it wasn’t a spirit, but you weren’t at rest yet. You bite your lip. You’d been dating Jacob for almost a year. This was the time you should tell him about your second life, right?

    “Jacob,” You close your eyes, running your hands through your hair. “I hunt the supernatural with my brothers.”

    He looks at you with a blank expression on his face. You had no idea what he was thinking in his head right now. It left you feeling more vulnerable than you ever have before.

    “You’re f***ing crazy, Y/N,” He shouts, pointing to the door. “Get out. We’re over. I’m so done with you sneaking around. There’s obviously something mentally wrong there.”

    Now you sit on a bench at a random bus stop, trying to get the hell out of dodge. You can barely register how quickly everything ended. You had been trying to hide where you were going every weekend, but he seemed to have had enough of the secrets. You decide to call Dean once you get somewhere you can identify to him. After a few moments, the bus pulls up and you get on.

    You put the fare in and ride for a few moments before you pull the string outside a 24-hour diner. Here, you would be able to get something to eat and tell Dean exactly where you were. The bus stops and you thank the driver.

    As soon as you enter, the smell of pie enters your nose and you sigh softly. An older woman in an old fashioned dress walks up to you. “Where do you want to sit, sweetheart?”

    You look around before deciding on a place in the corner of the room next to a wide window. She leads you to a spot and places a menu in front of you, taking your order of coffee and a slice of banana cream pie, before walking off to the kitchen.

    Hesitantly, you pull your phone out of your pocket once again and call Dean. As you put the phone up to your ear, it only rings a couple of times before Dean’s familiar voice answers, sending much needed comfort to your consciousness.

    “Y/N,” His voice floods your ears. “Is everything okay?”

    You try to keep your voice down so as not to disturb everyone in the diner. “Jacob broke up with me. He told me to leave,” You let out a small sob.

    There is nothing but silence on the other side of the phone as the words come out. You can hear his breathing become heavy. “Where are you?”

    “I’m at this place called Debbie’s Diner.”

    You hear a chair move back and the jingle of keys. “Sam and I are coming to get you. We’ll be there in an hour and a half.”

    “Thank you, Dean,” You say sincerely. He lets out a huff and you hang up, just in time for the old woman to bring you a large slice of pie and a cup of coffee.

…

    You hear the loud engine before you see the car. You peek out the window to the see the Impala turning the corner into the parking lot. As soon as they park, Dean and Sam jump out of the car, jogging into the restaurant. Rain soaks them in the night as they enter the diner. They spot you across the room and walk quickly to you.

    Dean looks angry and Sam has more of a sober expression on his face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

    You nod. “I’m okay. It was just an argument and he broke up with me. I took the bus here.”

    Dean looks at your broken face and red eyes and his jaw clenches. “Where is he? I’m gonna gank that son of a-”

    “Dean! It’s okay. It’s fine,” You say, shaking your head. “I told him about the life. I thought there was a case here, god dammit. It was just some stupid kids.”

    Sam rubs your back as you slump your shoulders defeated. “He wanted to know why I was acting so crazy and reading through all these books. I had to tell him. We dated for a year. I thought he would understand.”

    “Y/N, sometimes it’s hard for people to understand the things they can’t see,” Sam says, patting your back softly. “Let’s get your home so you can get a good night’s sleep.”

    He helps you stand from your chair and puts his arm around your shoulders as you begin to walk out. Dean replaces the money you had put down for your food with his own and put yours in his pocket, making sure he remembered to give it back to you. There was no way his sister was going to pay for her own break-up food.

    As you walk through the rain, Sam opens the front Impala door for you, throwing a blanket to you from the back before climbing in to the back seat. Dean starts the car and immediately turns to the radio, turning on The Rain Song, which he knew was your ‘having a hard time’ song. You turned to him and smiled sadly before looking back at the road, the Impala lurching forward as Dean begins to drive back to the bunker.

…

    Dean walks in your room as you get ready to go to sleep, tears silently falling down your face as you think of all the good times you had with Jacob. You climb into bed as Dean sits on the side of it.

    “How you doin’, Y/N/N,” He rubs your messy hair back from your face.

    “It definitely hurts,” You said, looking up at him with sad eyes. “I never told anyone about the life before.”

    He bites his lip and nods. “It’s just going to take some time, Y/N,” He kisses your forehead. “All of us have gone through this before and we turned out okay. It may seem bad now, but it won’t be like this after a while.”

    You nod and wipe the tears from your eyes. “Thank you.”

    “Hey, you’re my baby sister. It’s my job to give you protection and life advice,” You chuckle as he stands and walks to the door. He pauses before turning the light off. “Good night, Y/N.”

    “Good night, Dean.”

[thebandcampdiaries]

CHOZE presents: D.I.Y.

May 2022 - Artist and songwriter CHOZE has recently released an outstanding studio album titled D.I.Y.. The artist managed to capture the sound and feel of alternative grime by delivering a hard-hitting formula, which values great vocals, as well as great instrumental parts. The mix is balanced and direct. As a result, the sound of this release feels very accomplished, something that you would expect from some of the very best music makers on the global scene!

The album features 11 original songs, and there is also room for some amazing features! Keep reading for a deep dive into these songs, track by track!

1) Badderz: This is the first song on the album, and it has a truly amazing introduction, which is almost reminiscent of a prog rock record from the 60s and 70s. The intro gives the album a big and ambitious sound from the start, and when the trap-inspired beat kicks in, the punch is nothing short of massive. The artist’s lyrical flow is distinctive and one-of-kind as well.

2) Wake up (featuring Corps): This collaboration with CHOZE is one of the most insane and unique tracks on the record. The beat is massive, and it has a catchy, dynamic feel that really stands out from the get-go. There is a sense of tension, heightened by the siren-like sounds in the background and the relentless flow of the lyrics: CHOZE is going vicious on this one!  

3) Built 4 Dis (featuring Lionart): The intro to this song has a cinematic feel to it, with those keys and string sounds that are reminiscent of old-school gangsta rap or even early trap music. The huge depth of the production is massive, and the featured artist, Lionart, really brings something special to the mix. This is undoubtedly one of the heavy hitters on the album.

4) Drug Muzik (Featuring Skibadee): If you though the album was already hitting hard, we’re getting onto the next level here, as this is one of the most explosive songs on the album for sure. Yet, there is a more unique twist to it, with a faster tempo, some great melodies and a breakbeat drum pattern that almost reminds of earlier drum&bass music.

5) DIY interlude: The interview splits the album in two perfectly, providing a great creative break for the music to unfold.

6) DIY (featuring Shai Sevin): The title track itself is an ode to the DIY ethics: making music with full control and artistic integrity. The artist’s flow on this song is just as powerful and uncompromising as his DIY outlook on music and creativity.

7) Nothing to lose: This track has a very mesmerizing introduction, with some unique samples and a truly accomplished song arrangement. This song also has a great music video.

8) I apologise: This feels like one of the most personal tracks on the record, and it definitely excels at crafting a very ethereal mood. This might be one of the most experimental and unique beats on the album, with a crazy drum arrangement and some amazing reversed and up-tuned chopped vocals adding some melody to the background.

9) Last ones left: This release begins with a lush carpet of melody, and it continues to offer a bit more of a catchy vibe, more melodic than some of the previous songs on the album, but no less daring.

10) Sending me the Signs: This is a fantastic track that dives deeper into some electronic influences. The sound is big, deep and lush, going for a completely different vibe that brings a breath of fresh air to the album.

11) You (Featuring Mum): This is a perfect curtain closer: the melody is immediately catchy and easy to relate to, and the lyrics are almost as personal as it gets on the album!

Check out this album if you like Dizzee Rascal, Skibadee, Gorillaz, The Prodigy, Wiley, Massive Attack, and many more. In particular, you should definitely enjoy D.I.Y. if you do like hard-hitting grime music that’s got a very persona and authentic feel. It’s always quite difficult to truly establish your own identity as a musician, especially if you are an upcoming artist that’s often compared to more established acts. However, CHOZE managed to accomplish that to perfection.

Find out more about CHOZE, and check out D.I.Y., which is now available on some of the web’s best digital music streaming platforms and beyond. There is truly no limit to what artists can accomplish if they truly value creativity, and D.I.Y. is a perfect example of how CHOZE seems to be taking this life lesson to heart.

ffm.to/diyalbum

https://open.spotify.com/album/105pSiU8iLCfefAB0NA1Q1?si=h0gwNGfMQsKk9wyVKM34Uw

You’ll also find one of the songs on the album on our special picks playlist on Spotify, linked below:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/26IM6V7tYpfU4ZvkTd1MhD?si=4dd3b271c6824ede

www.instagram.com/chozeofficial

www.twitter.com/chozeofficial

www.facebook.com/chozeofficial

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 9

It was sometime during this week, very possibly the week before that I realized why egg-zacktly Mad Men has been so (”comforting” seems like a big word here, but let’s just say) comforting during this period of time. Well I guess there’s a couple of reasons, time being one of them: being able to escape to other peoples’ problems and not have them be (overtly) contemporary. The second just as obvious being that this show spends probably 95% of its settings indoors. Maybe once a season do you see these people outside for whatever reason; season 3 was probably the height of having scenes outdoors, between Sally’s teacher and those scenes and then the Roger/Jane Old Kentucky Home wedding. Surely I’ve been outside more hours than watching Mad Men these past 7 weeks, but at this point I don’t really know. Hasn’t made me want a cigarette, so that’s something.

Sunday, May 17

Sour Grapes, Rothwell & Atlas 2016 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Pretty neat little telling of rich people getting scammed. Definitely better than the Fyre Fest docs that came out last year, though you can see this as almost a model for it, however my problems with those are the same problem here, being I don’t really care that these insanely rich people got duped. I mean I care because it feels good, but rarely do you get someone in that position (especially from a financial standpoint) admitting they got duped or doing it in a way where they’re trying not to come across as a victim. And like I get it, I know that’s the point of some of these where it’s “look at their lack of self-awareness” but that’s not particularly satisfying. What’s satisfying is seeing the person do this and explain how they did it (the why is pretty obvious) and what their process is. You wouldn’t want to see a documentary about Terry Benedict having his casinos robbed and act like he doesn’t know why (I mean I would, because I invite almost anything from the Ocaen’s-verse, but you get my point).

Mad Men, “Collaborators”, “To Have And To Hold”, “The Flood”

Season 6, upon this viewing, appears to be the weakest or second to weakest season of the series; I don’t really know for sure. It’s definitely not bad, but lacks the sense of urgency to watch. It’s a little repetitive in some of its storytelling choices with Don, but does explore the motives of the men who want to be him, but lack that Dick Whitman/Don Draper drive that only he has (in the realm of Mad Men). Pete, not unlike Don, decides to keep up his habit of having an affair (with another married person too) and keeps it close to home feeling very in tune with Pete Campbell mentality: not seeing the dangers of shitting where he eats. Sure he keeps his affair to the confines of his Manhattan apartment, but it’s with a woman who not only lives in his neighborhood, but someone who is friendly enough with his wife. It backfires instantly and because no one has ever had a frank discussion with Pete about the consequences of his actions, this might be the first time Pete has actually had to learn a lesson. But because no one talks him through “this is where you messed up and this is how you can become a better and bigger person from this” it almost feeds his outwardly victimhood. Once again, props to Vincent Kartheiser for playing Pete Campbell perfectly for 6 straight seasons (and beyond). 

And here’s something Season 6 decides to ponder: how about Bobby Draper? How about Bobby Draper deals with the assassination of MLK through seeing Planet Of The Apes? Probably the toughest look Mad Men took in its run (besides Hamm losing every year to Cranston for best actor) that it totally asks for.

The Last Dance, Parts 9 & 10

The end. This thing went out how it lived: absurdly entertaining while still being confounding in what it decided to say and how to present itself. There’s probably a lot to be taken from it, but my brain will forever linger on “eat the pizza.” (partly due to The Ticket, partly due to it being one of the funniest lies I’ve ever been told) Also I’m not a Pearl Jam listener (this genre of rock is my absolute biggest blind spot), but uh, that song’s pretty cool that they played there at the end; good sports montage moment-reminded me of a montage to close out a season of The Wire. No “Right Here, Right Now” though.

Monday, May 18

Circus Of Books, Mason 2019 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Pleasant enough li’l entry of history about an important cultural landmark in LA; it really banks on the notion of “you’d never assume these people run this store” which isn’t ineffective. But it doesn’t come from an impartial place, it comes from the daughter of the store owners, which you could argue makes her the most qualified person to tell this story. But when your subjects are so unassuming and almost bothered by your insistence to tell this story it comes across as more (unintentionally) uncomfortable rather than trying to prove a point. But that’s kind of the looming question over all of this too-what’s the point? The titular bookstore closed last year, implying that there’s importance to this instantaneously being a historic document, when really it’s just a love letter to your parents and also your brother to tie it together just a little bit nicer.

Mad Men, “For Immediate Release”

The episode where it starts to find its footing again; as interesting an idea as it is to separate Don and Peggy on paper, the execution leaves so much to be desired. Peggy needs a force to push up against and while I’m sure she might have with Jim Cutler, but that’s not super interesting. Teaming up Ted and Don, maybe the only person to respect Don as an artist, but openly questioning his method to him on the show and not taking his excuses at face value.

Tuesday, May 19

Platoon, Stone 1986

Yeh, I don’t think I like Oliver Stone movies. I think I like the ideas of them, but ultimately I just don’t think it’s a match (heartbreaking for him). Part of this was I was on a massive Apocalypse Now high chose this as a chaser for that, which is mistake, and I knew this as I was watching. Or maybe it’s just that, explicitly, Vietnam movies set out to punish you for watching them, both in trying so hard to prove its authenticity while still being heavy-handed in other regards. Oliver Stone kind of feels like your cousin who insists on telling you that Dr. Strangelove is *actually* a farce and satire (yeh, I’ve used this before-guess what, it’s happened to me).

Mad Men, “Man With A Plan”, “The Crash”

Mad Men does its Sopranos karaoke best when drugs are involved, plain and simple. Though truly wild and Tony Soprano-levels of insanity when Don forces Lindsay Weir Sylvia to stay in that hotel room for like two days straight (or maybe a day, I don’t remember).

Wednesday, May 20

Blown Away, Hopkins 1994

I can 100% guarantee you that the only reason I thought I should see this movie is because it’s been lodged in my brain and marked as “important?” because Bill Simmons mentioned it offhandedly in a podcast once saying it’s a “_____ Boston movie.” So when I was scrolling through local listings, as I’m wont to do, and I saw that it was on, almost like a Pavlovian response, I immediately hit set to record. I’ve fallen for the trap of “record movie that should only be watched if it just happens to be on-do not go out of your way to watch it” and this is just the latest entry into it. This thing’s a quintessential dad-movie that has a wayyyy better poster than it should. I should probably be mad that I watched it, but this thing is so beautifully stupid that I’d be betraying myself by acting like it isn’t entirely in my wheelhouse. I was just happy to see the marble machine pop back up when it did.

Mad Men, “The Better Half”

“Hey, uh....how about Bobby goes to Bible Camp and we just use that as an excuse to bring Don and Betty back together for a one-night fling? Yeh, I think it’s pretty good too.” Tough break for the loss of Abe, though-they always kept him far enough to want you wanting more of him, which was probably the right decision, ultimately.

Hearts Of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, Bahr & Hickenlooper & Coppola 1991

Was this good for Coppola’s image in 91? It’s coming kind of off the heels of Godfather III, which is maybe the most damning way to start off a decade. Maybe the biggest knock against this is that there’s probably still a lot unsaid, or the thing that’d be better is if you could’ve been a fly on the wall during the actual production or the editing of the documentary.

Thursday, May 21

S Is For Stanley, Infascelli 2016 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

You have to wonder if the Kubrick estate was pulling some strings to have this made as a preemptive strike against Filmworker. Yeh, yeh, we all know Stanley was difficult (man geniuses tend to be!) but what if I told you that he had a friendly side with his sweet old Italian driver who he kind of held hostage? I guess because Emilio D'Alessandro had the benefit of not working directly on the movies/Art Kubrick was making a professional/personal distance was able to be established. It’s cute and charming (small, old Italian men have that effect on me)-there’s not much more you should demand of it.

Mad Men, “A Tale Of Two Cities”, “Favors”

Sopranos karaoke meets coke part from Annie Hall. Then maybe the most traumatic thing to happen to Sally Draper, rivaled by the most traumatic thing to happen to Pete Campbell (via Peggy relaying info). Though I will say, those small moments between Peggy and Pete, moments we don’t get a lot of, are so nice, because it is one of the few times this show’s characters are stripped of trying to have an upper hand. Honesty between people, not Mad Men’s bread and butter (it has never sought to be), but they know how to serve it up in small enough doses that you don’t take them for granted when they happen.

Friday, May 22

Chinatown, Polanski 1974

Weird how no one talks about this movie being incredible. Glad I can be at the forefront for this, clearly, little seen flick and champion it as much as possible! With that said, knife to the nostril is a very real new fear for me.

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 10

If I were a person who cared about the olympics I could see myself either being very melancholy or furious after this episode. Fine challenge, though not totally surprising. I dunno man, you gotta imagine how annoyed these contestants get every time Malarkey outlives them-or at the very least incredibly tickled by it. Looking forward to binging Last Chance Kitchen before this next week’s ep.

Mad Men,  “The Quality Of Mercy”

The Ken Cosgrove eyepatch is such a weird choice, but not altogether terrible. Hard to take a guy with an eyepatch seriously, which is probably the reason they gave it to Ken, because no one in that office does. The Bob Benson is a fraud reveal is fascinating in the sense of the writers trying out an experiment of “what if Don Draper but different job” though far more obvious. And what perfect symmetry having Pete find out from Duck (the man who thought he’d be able to use this information against Don and the man who, at the top of his game, absolutely could’ve used it against Don) about Bob and learned his lesson from 5 years ago and knowing how to use that information to his benefit (the setup to it is still pretty good, because I reacted this time the same way I did in 2014 with “oh Pete, you are dumb as hell” forgetting what the reveal is).

Saturday, May 23

Cast Away, Zemeckis 2000 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Somehow made it as long as I did without having seen Cast Away and it’s pretty good and also maybe the first time a Zemeckis movie gives worth to its character being (almost) extraordinary? Like in almost all his movies these characters kind of stumble into this otherworldly, almost other plane, level of humanity and ability; there tends to be a lot of right place at the right time with his main characters. So I had no idea that Cast Away flash forwards 4 years in the middle of its story (I’m kind of amazed with how little I knew about the bigger plot points of this movie, like no idea that it takes place in 1995 to start off) and not just making him instantaneous amazing hermit-man. It’s a fun movie, though I’m sure if I’d seen this in high school or early college I’d be all in a huff because of the whales, which is clearly just Zemeckis not being able to help himself. Whatever, pretty good and I’m glad he and Helen Hunt don’t end up together (though it does raise an incredible hypothetical). Though if you’re throwing a “welcome back from nowhere” party to a guy, wouldn’t you want to stick to specifically turf food as the delicacy you deliver to him? Like you’re already in Memphis, which is a pretty suspect location to have crab-give the man some BBQ, something without a shadow of a doubt he didn’t have access to on a deserted island.

Mad Men, “In Care Of” [season 6 finale], “Time Zones” [season 7A premier], “A Day’s Work”, “Field Trip”

The birth of “Not Great Bob!” truly a landmark. Season 6 is weird, it’s all a build-up, but Don’s descent has been going on for so long it’s hard to pinpoint what led to it all (maybe his divorce with Betty? Signing a contract? Anna passing away? there are so many chaos dominoes on the table that contribute to it all). Man needs therapy or to be reminded of who he is or how he got here. He’s brought down several, several pegs and he stays there and lingers in it, but he’ll be dammed if he isn’t loyal till the bitter end, or at least loyal to what he can be in control of and what he cares about (he does not care about Megan’s acting, though he does care about Megan and how much of her life he has put on halt).

Minority Report, Spielberg 2002 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Steven Spielberg makes perfect Saturday movies. This is the sort of thing that if you had put it in anyone else’s hands it’d be without that crucial Spielberg twinge of hope or love that is the motivation behind its lead’s actions. It’s fun and pulpy and washed out and dark and takes Spielberg back to his feature debut: it’s a chase movie. It’s almost 2½ hours that flies by. 

[charly-the-spider-blog]

The Suit.

(( I realised, while writing, that this would explode peoples Dashes. So I put a read-more into place for those that wish to read it all. It is .. pretty much a Shortstory at this point. Read at your own discretion. Thank you very much. <3 ))

Back home from their latest trip toward the cold of Snowdin, Charly peeled off the gloves off of their fingers, followed by the winter coat. It was rare that she came around to an idea in the middle of the day, but she was too obsessed about her work to just make note of it and complete it just the following day. Looking to a cluster of spiders that had accumulated to greet her home, she smiled softly. “Could you guys do me a favor and make me some tea and bring it into the shop? I have work to do. Maybe a Sandwich as well. That would be great.”

A large part of the spiders ran off, going to get Charly what she had asked for. Kicking off her shoes, she stretched her foes with a slight sigh. This would be a long night. 

Heading off into her Workroom, she looked around the shelves, the heavy bales of cloth, sorted by color and materials, miles of yarns, wool and thread, sorted on spindles. Rolling of lengths of the materials respectively, she ran her fingers across them, trying to find the right one, the one that fit her needs. But none of them really seemed to fit her idea. 

Grabbing the polished silver scissors from the table, she began to spin them slowly on one finger, while staring down the mountain of selection that just wouldn’t serve. None of this was the right thing. Looking behind her, she just looked at the tall spindles, filled with fine white thread. thin as a hair. Running her fingers across the spooled up length of silk, she sighed. This would indeed become a very long night.

Going back to her table, she grabbed a huge sheet of brown paper, laying it out across the work surface. No measurements taken.. This would be odd. Closing her eyes she just span the pencil in one hand, before looking back at the paper. Slowly but surely, she began to sketch out a humanoid shape. Repeatedly pausing for a moment, to recall her subject better, she occasionally crumpled the entire sheet up, redrawing it, over and over until she seemed happy with the result. 

Looking around at the huge clumps of roughly balled up paper, she sighed. Time for the first cleanup. Grabbing the trash, she began to stuff it into a bag, throwing that same bag into a corner of the room. Turning back to her finalized sketch, she rolled the paper up and hung it up in front of her Cloth-Collection. Eyeing the gentleman facing her she tilted her head slightly. “You would probably appreciate the irony of being recreated on paper .. With pencil..” 

Chuckling at the joke she made to nobody but herself, she turned back to her collection of spider silk. It was all just in thread. None of it in cloth. So the next step was to make the proper cloth.. And it was also uncolored, naturally snow white with a faint blue hue to it. Lifting a series of huge spindles filled with the thread, she cracked the knuckles of her hand pairs in series. Running her hands across the materials once more, she let some magic flow from within herself into the fine strands. 

Slowly humming to herself, she began to direct the threads off of the spools. Soft motions of her hands, as if conducting an orchestra, the strands followed the motions, slowly moving through the air, layering into a complex weave. After minutes the fine weave started to slowly resemble a width of material, growing downward. After an hour, it was almost enough to, but Charly could also feel the drain. It cost focus and energy to uphold any magic for this long. Still, she forced herself through the last bit. Raising one hand to cut the loose ends off of the sheet with the sharp scissors, she gave a deep sigh of relief, catching the lengths of cloths with her middle arm pair, carrying it over to the worktable.

A look went to the cold tea and the slightly crumpled Sandwich that had been made for her. Smiling she grabbed both cup and plate anyways, carrying them with, as she dragged a chair, to sit down in front of the life-sized drawing. Taking a bite out of the sandwich, she eyed the tall and slender person, drawn out. “You know .. I still don’t quite get you. I understand you are not every Ink. But the amount of times people say bad things about your kind..”

Sipping from the cold tea she slightly frowned, at how bitter it was, but she was not going to complain. It was her own fault it had gotten so bitter. “It is really hard to trust the lion that it won’t eat you, just because you asked it nicely. Hell, it’s even harder when you feed the lion and know it’s love for red, bloody meat..”

Thinking back to her small shouting contest with the plant, she smirked a little. Taking the last bite of her sandwich, she followed it with the rest of the tea, feeling the magic of both refilling her capacities at least somewhat. One washing of her hands later, she eyes the huge sheet of white cloth before her. Trimming a section off, she carried the reserved piece off to one side. “You would look fancy in white. But I think it would also make you seem very pale..” Opening a cabinet, she pulled out two small cans, made out of a silvery smooth metal. 

Walking back to the main sheet of cloth, she eyed it intently, before raising one of the small cans over the material. “What is the saying again .. You do so much look better in black?” A single drop of a black fluid dripped from the spout of the little container onto the cloth, spreading immediately across the web of strands, it dyed the cloth within seconds into a deep black, that seemed to swallow the light hitting it, making it hard to even just make out the folds that were in it.

Setting the can back into it’s shelf, she repeated the process for the second sheet, but this time, it was dyed in the deep blood red, that was ever so fitting to the soon-to-be Owner of the suit. Taking a few steps back - after stowing the second can away as well - she looked over to the drawn out sketch again. “Red and Black are your colors, after all, wouldn’t you agree?” 

Her eyes glanced to a clock mounted on the wall. At this point she was already hours in the progress, and the soft ticking of the clock did not do much to distract her from the silence that filled the room. Leaving her workplace for a moment, she walked off into her private rooms, picking up a heavy ledger there, to carry off into her work area. Setting it onto the floor, she flicked through the pages, that were filled with sheet music, seemingly glued onto the actual pages of the book, to keep them organised.

Reaching what she had in mind, she gave the page a soft touch, followed by the soft sound of music, starting to swell up, drowning out the silence of the room with the gentle sound of strings, flutes and horns of different sources.  (( https://youtu.be/rOjHhS5MtvA?t=1m45s For reference ))

More satisfied now by the sound of music filling the room, she went back to work. Using the drawing to reconfirm her measurements, Charlotte began with the red cloth, carefully trimming segments out of it, cutting the parts out of it, almost following the soft rhythm of the music as she did so. Music made it easier, made time vanish and replaced it with the ongoing melody. Time did not play a role anymore for this work. 

Occasionally she paused for a few seconds, whenever the song started to swell up, leaning her head back a bit, just listening, smiling. But quickly there after, she went back to work, laying out the pieces of blood red cloth in the way they were to be constructed. Slowly, piece by piece, she had all the parts needed to make the dress shirt. The first part to the suit that would be made. Carrying the segments with her to the sewing machine she began to remove the common thread in it, with some of the fine thread that had made the cloth in the first place. 

Minutes went by, as the machine tirelessly set stitch after stitch, guided by the hands of Charlotte. And soon enough, the segments came together into one piece. Thin, lightweight. Imbued to their very core with the magic that had created the thread in the first place. Finding the correct buttons alone took her the better half of another hour, before finally settling on black mother of pearl. 

Folding up the shirt, it was put to rest off to one side, before the black cloth followed. The silver metal cutting swiftly though the fine threads, severing piece after piece out of the sheet Setting the segments aside, sorted by where there were meant to go, Vest, Trousers, Jacket ... The Music kept hiding the bitter truth of time, but on the surface, Dawn would slowly start pushing away the black of night, banishing it back with the first rays of sunlight, as the sky god bathed in blood red. A truly appropriate morning for the target of her work.

Yet still, there was no pausing from her, no halting. The only breaks when she had to fit pieces together or when trying to find the perfect segment of cloth for the next piece. Hours of cutting, the early morning had long caught up to her, she began setting the stitches into the black cloth. Noon quickly followed it, only indicated by the rumbling of her stomach, aching for some food. 

Forced to pause another time, the spiders that worked for her brought her some food and some tea, while she affixed the parts she had finished to a tailor’s dummy - one of the few in the underground that were neither possessed, nor sentient. Sitting back down onto the chair that was still in front of her drawing, she just stared at the clothing she had created over the past hours. Slight dark shadows on the pale skin under the main eye pair betrayed her exhaustion to a degree. But it was not done yet. 

“You had better appreciate this, weirdo..” She looked out of the corners of her eyes to the sketched out person. “I should stop talking to a drawing ... I already am looking insane enough as it stands.” Taking a deep breath, she welcomes the hot tea that was brought to her, and the plate that was filled with some leftovers from the day before. Rice, vegetables, some chicken. Nothing special, but warm food was just the right thing for her right now. Sipping from the tea she nodded slowly. “Let’s finish this..” 

Jumping back to her feet, she stretched out, leaning to either side, flexing each arm pair in sequence to shake the stiffness from her muscles. Going back to work, she took the unfinished parts off of the dummy again, just to complete them, then re-add them to the dummy itself. Piece by piece, the suit came together. Even small details like a proper dress handkerchief were made and then put in place. A slim tie in jet black tied around the collar. The only part that was not made by her for this suit special where the buttons and the belt. Everything else came together piece by piece, until the Mannequin stood before her drained self. Even without it’s owner in it, it had character. The magic inside it made it more durable then one would think. 

Running her fingers over the cloth, she pulled the collars straight, the tie and vest. The insides of the suit jacket covered with the same blood red cloth of the shirt, the vest perfectly trimmed to sit over the shirt, ending just over the belt line. Giving it one last look, she nodded satisfied.

✱ “Gentleman’s Armor” - Armor DF 20 ✱ Made to fit none but it’s Owner.  ✱ Truly, as suit to be remembered by.

“That will do..” Looking back at the drawing of the owner she smirked slightly, tearing the sheet off it’s hooks, just to ball it up between her hands, throwing it into the trash with the others, wiping her hands. No more need for that.

A shower and a change of clothes later, she had the suit with her, carried on two arms, each part neatly folded out so it wouldn’t crinkle up. Another hand carrying a small paper bag. It took her a while to get out here, to the place they had met, but still, she had walked here more then once. So when she took her last turn through the soft darkness of Waterfall, ending before a familiar flower on the ground she smiled slightly. 

Grabbing into the bag she carried, she took out the raw Steak, removing it’s wrapping of waxed paper, just to lay it on the petals of the flower, so it could enjoy the snack. “Now, once you are done with that, @besmirched, I would love to give you this.” Raising the carefully wrapped up pieces of the suit, she indicated them to the Flower. “If you are not too busy, that is.”

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Entrance

Entrance used to be a band with a heavy sound, a heavy touring schedule, and a string of records on Tiger Style, Tee Pee, Ecstatic Peace, and Fat Possum. Nowadays Entrance is one guy, singer-songwriter Guy Blakeslee, with an LP called Book Of Changes whose name attests to the transformation it documents. Out are the throbbing bass and chugging riffs; nowadays Blakeslee’s rococo studio concoctions owe more to Roy Orbison and Gene Pitney. Change is also the constant in the diverse list he has given to Dusted.

1)“Smoke Signals” by Phoebe Bridgers 

I discovered this song a couple months ago when I heard it on the radio. I actually had to pull over and listen to it, it was a strange night and the song hit a nerve. I waited to hear who it was by and immediately listened to it again on my phone. Since then I’ve listened to it countless times.  Something about it really gets under my skin. The lyrics are simple and spare but they tell a complex story in the imagination. I really resonate with how it references the feeling of this time, the year 2016 when Lemmy and Bowie died and the appropriate was/is sentiment “fuck the cops”..  I too have often wanted to “check out and hide from life”..   I had to stop obsessing over the song, it was affecting me too much. It seems like Phoebe Bridgers is on the verge of great things.

2) “Piano Solo: album”  by Emahoy Tsegue-Maryam Guebrou

I’ve probably listened to this album more than any other in the past decade. It’s the perfect soundtrack to early mornings and late nights. It can relax you or wake you up depending on what you need from it.  It’s a beautiful window into a peaceful and pensive world. The pianist and composer is an Ethiopian nun who now lives in Jerusalem and is very old.. I was fortunate to see a full concert of her work by her disciple, the Israeli musician Maya Dunietz, at Le Guess Who festival in the Netherlands last fall. and hearing these songs coming from and actual piano in a concert hall was sublime, but nothing can live up to the experience of hearing Maryam herself play them so perfectly on these recordings.

3): “An Empty Bliss Beyond This World” by the Caretaker

Leland Kirby aka the Caretaker is a reclusive Brit who (on some of his records) uses the warped and crackly sounds of old jazz 78s to create these deeply soothing and abstract  songs, often sounding like a memory or a dream of an Alzheimer’s patient recalling the old days through a foggy lens of time and dementia ..  it sounds like the record started skipping or repeating but the phrase it loops is so musical and pleasant that it makes sense to just let it keep going and lose track of hours in the soft reverb’s glow.

4)  “Heaven and Earth Magic” a film by Harry Smith

Harry Smith may be best known for creating the American Anthology of Folk Music, and probably his legendary and pioneering experimental films would be his next most well known accomplishment. This one was made through the painstaking frame-by-frame process of stop-motion animation, using thousands of paper cut-outs. I like to experiment with applying different soundtracks to it. Harry was a true polymath and a genius. His work across many different fields of anthropology, from collecting hand-painted Ukrainian Easter eggs and string figure designs from across the world, to field recordings of the Lower East Side and folk and blues records, are all little parts of a life-long obsession with finding the connections between different cultures and archetypes. A book about him I happened upon when I was 19 was a life-changer for me, it’s called American Magus’ I also have a book of interviews with him called Think of the Self Speaking... He was a sadly under-recognized influence on the 1960’s counterculture and his life and work were both inspiring and tragic.

5) Gordon Hempton, silence activist

I heard an interview with Gordon Hempton on the “On Being” podcast recently. His life’s work is to locate and attempt to document and preserve the few remaining places on earth which are free from human noise pollution. He brings up many important points about what it means to listen and to hear, and about the value and rarity of real silence.

6) “The Science Delusion” by Rupert Sheldrake

Rupert Sheldrake is a British biologist who created the “Theory of Morphic Resonance” as an attempt to explain scientifically such phenomena as ESP and  synchronicity. He posits that an invisible filed, a “Morphic Field” connects all that exists and it is through this timeless/spaceless field that psychic transmission and other “unexplainable”  events are conducted. This TED talk he gave was “banned” because it was considered too far out to be officially sponsored by TED, which gained him a lot of attention and some notoriety. His work, however, is not so sensational and is very interesting. One of his most well known experiments, known as “Dogs who know when their owners are coming home” documents the way in which a dog begins to wait at the door of the house when the owner has formed the intention to return home. The owner is out of the house and is paged to return home at a random time. The video camera by the door of the house, more often than not, shows that the dog starts to wait at the door at the exact moment the owner DECIDES to return. How do you explain that? I’m excited because my bandmate Hale May actually knows Rupert personally and I may be getting to meet him on tour this month in London- I’ve been a fan of his work for many years. To me he’s like a rockstar of science.

7)  “Yesu Mkwebaze”  by Novicat de Souers Missionaires  

There’s not much to say about this song, except that it’s indescribably beautiful. The unparalleled curatorial finesse of Mississippi Records of Portland brought it to my attention, along with so many of my other favorite songs and records.

8) “A Joyful Noise”  by Sun Ra

I used to work at a movie theater called the Charles in my hometown of Baltimore  and was lucky enough to be present on two occasions for a screening of this film with the director present. Some of the live footage of Sun Ra and his Arkestra in the film was actually shot in the same building where I saw it screened, which at one time was the Left Bank Jazz Society. I keep coming back to this movie when I need to be reminded of the outer limits that creativity and imagination can take me to. I actually have a bumper sticker on my car that says “What would Sun Ra do?” It’s always good to remember the interplanetary perspective!

9) “Horizon” by Aldous Harding (live in LA, shot from the audience by yours truly)

I’ve been a devoted follower of Aldous Harding for over a year now and was lucky to be on her guest list for a recent show in LA where I captured the last song of her set on my phone and posted it to Youtube.  I had also seen her last spring at Union Chapel in London, an early morning concert in an ancient cathedral with super high ceilings and incredible atmosphere. This performance is highly evolved compared to what I saw the first time. Aldous is from New Zealand and is about to release a new record on 4AD, and this song “Horizon” is the lead single. I got the impression 99% of the people in the audience, there to see another artist, were unfamiliar with her, and she had everyone spellbound with their jaws dropping on the floor by the end of this song. Tragically, all of her gear was stolen from her van after this triumphant show. It was the kind of show that makes you want to change your life.

10 ) Adam Curtis “Hypernormalisation”   

[Video is copy protected with no sound.]

I can’t say that I agree with everything Adam Curtis has to say in this film, which I saw in London shortly before the election results in the US which it seems to predict...  But there’s a lot of important information and a coherent world-view which is worth considering at this time of mass confusion and “fake news”.. This came out before the term “fake news” was even being thrown around, but ti basically proposes that we live in an entirely “fake reality” and overall i’d have to agree. I don’t quite resonate with the way he seems to blame artists and bohemians like Patti Smith for the rise of this “fake society” , but nonetheless this is an important and uncomfortable look into the mirror of our insane moment right now in western civilization and I highly recommend it.

[poladrize]

The Metal Maestro – An Interview With Juan Saurín

It’s getting dark, and his electric guitar pulsates through the walls of Concha Segura theater and onto the freezing November streets of Yecla, a town situated in the South-East of Spain.

Juan Saurín, the name behind the strings, is a Yecla native, recognized and admired by his town. In the queue, his old High School teachers, family and friends blend in between teenagers decked head to toe in sleek, black leather. We catch a first glimpse of him, through the gap in the curtains behind the soundboards. He’s sound-checking; in a lunge, hair down, features brimmed with passion for the music he’s making.

PURE NOWHERE: When did you decide you wanted to be a musician?

JUAN SAURÍN: I started playing when I was 13; I was watching TV and I saw the music video for Metallica’s ‘Until It Sleeps’. I was like… dude… what is this? I don’t know, something came over me, and it was automatic, you know, I bought DVDs, started to find more bands, immediately joined guitar lessons…and since then, I haven’t stopped. It started there and won’t ever go away.

PN: What do you think you’d be doing if you hadn’t seen that Metallica video?

JS: Well… I wouldn’t be doing anything (laughs). I really don’t know, this is just the only thing I can think of doing. From the moment I started, at 13, I haven’t done anything else. I locked myself in my room, all I did was play, study, play, study… and everything I’ve ever done has been in relation to music. When I worked, for example, in a factory over the summertime, it was to buy an amp, or a guitar, or a… whatever. You know, everything I’ve done that hasn’t been directly related to my music has always been secondary.

After joining classical guitar lessons in Yecla to learn basic notions, Juan went onto studying ‘Instrument, Harmony and Composition’ at the Institute of Music and Technology of Madrid (IMT), and then graduating in ‘Modern Music and Jazz’ in the ‘Conservatori del Liceu’ of Barcelona. He graduated from ‘Music Teaching’ with the best qualification (Distinction) in the British institution, Rockschool, and was then taught by guitar prodigies like Frank Solari, Steve Vai, Andy Timmons, Joe Bonamassa,… etc. He’s been a guitarist for a few bands and artists, including a Metallica tribute band and the first The Voice Spain winner (along with being his musical director). Now, his name’s on the screen.

Two years ago, Juan presented his debut album, ‘Genesis’, in this same theater. And tonight, he’s back with his sophomore album, ‘Human’. His hometown always marks the first date of his tours. The concert begins. The ‘Human’ album cover fades into his intro video, (‘Chaos’, the origin of humanity), and he comes out, followed by his band. The power of his electric guitar makes people’s hearts shake. His hands, filled with silver rings, disappear between electric chords, and he tunes the guitar as he goes, molding it to fit his preferences. The looks of awe in the crowd reflect exactly what he is: a virtuoso musician, with a guitar that’s an extension of his body.

PN: What do you love the most about playing live?

JS: Playing live (laughs). I have such a great time that the thing I love most is just being able to have a live show. And if I have the chance to share the stage with huge musicians like those we had here tonight well… it all works out great.

PN: And… what’s your favorite song to play live?

JS: Um… (eyes widen). I couldn’t pick a favorite… I love playing so many things. The track that gets to me the most is Orion, by Metallica, which is why we played it today. It was the first time I heard a song and was like “What an anthem!” (Hand to his head) “What a track, dude, this is wild”. Every time we can, we play it live. And when I play that song, I get flashbacks from when I was little and was just starting to play guitar. So… that’s the most special song for me, but I don’t have a favorite.

PN: Your music is on the instrumental side of heavy metal. Why is that?

JS: It’s definitely my area. I like tracks with lyrics, they add something to songs… but, without a shadow of a doubt, my area is instrumental music. I grew up with it; I’ve always been a huge fan of Mike Oldfield, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, and to me… instrumental tracks speak to me, I don’t need lyrics. But I do also like voiced tracks, and if you can count on voices like Neus Ferri, Alberto Scarlatta or Leo Jimenez’s… well, that’s insane, right?

PN: So many people sat down for tonight’s show… is that weird for you?

JS: Actually, in my case, since it’s instrumental metal, I don’t think this theater is an inadequate fit. I mean, I think the album (Human), is one that you can listen to, chilling at home with your headphones on… there’s a ton of layers, and details, and sections and stories… so, I don’t know. I’m a huge fan of theaters, I love the atmosphere in theaters, sometimes people have to sit and pay attention, and others, we just get them up to party however we can (chuckles).

PN: What is a question you’d really like to answer that nobody’s ever asked you yet?

JS: I don’t know, but I do know the question I don’t like. When they ask me: “So, where’s the third one?” when I’ve just released the second. Because it feels like they don’t value how hard it is to make an album. You know, the second just came out, dude! Listen to it, chill! (Laughs) I mean, it’s fine, I know they mean well, but… It feels like for society everything has to be immediate. Like, “if I don’t get this chair by tomorrow at 3 pm I don’t want it”. And, dude, when you buy a new album, you spend at least a month listening to it. Analyzing, seeing what’s been done, reading the libretto, the tracks… they gain value with listens, you know? But when you’ve just released one and they’re already asking for the next, it makes you want to say… listen to it first.

PN: Why the title ‘Human’? And ‘Genesis’? Anything special?

JS: ‘Genesis’… well, I had worked for other bands and artists, and it was the first album that I conceived for a solo career. Because when you’re in a band, you could be in it one day and not the next. In my case, I’m always going to be here (laughs) so it won’t be a problem. It was the start of a new career. And ‘Human’… I like when an album isn’t exclusively music. I’m very sixties and seventies in that aspect, you know, back then albums were a work of art in themselves: the tracks, the music, the lyrics, the meaning, the cover, the designs, everything… This album is about humanity and it’s evolution with time. It’s also about senses; it goes through all the feelings that encompass being human, and that’s transmitted by the instrumental tracks too.

PN: Is that why the cover design is a skull?

JS: Yeah, exactly, the cover is what we are. A skull that fades. So, it’s a skull that will turn to dust, it’s not anything else. Our trajectory in life is super short, and it’s like, what Gandalf said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us”.

Juan catches us by surprise when he announces that he’s doing something he’s never done before, whips out an acoustic guitar and brings out two cellos and two violins, three of them teachers at the local Music School, where he runs the Modern Music Department.

PN: What is music to you?

JS: Life. It’s the only thing that really gets to me, and it generates a series of sensations and emotions and ideas and stories that… you know, that I need to put out in albums. It’s a way of life, I can’t imagine my life without music.

PN: How would you introduce yourself to readers of Pure Nowhere in the US?

JS: Well, I’m a huge fan of their musical culture. Actually, I was in New York a few years ago, and I didn’t want to come back (laughs). When I walked into the JFK and heard George Benson as background music, I was like… dude, this isn’t normal. They have such huge musical culture. We went to the Blue Note to listen to a Big Band; there’s always some incredible band playing there. There’s a lot of respect for music over there. I said I was a musician and they seemed amazed. Because they knew… they know how tough it is, how fucked it is to be a musician, it’s super hard. It’s an intense career choice. You have to always give it 200%. You can’t do it any other way. Their way of seeing music and their way of seeing show business… I admire it so much, and I’m sure that it’s not just me, but everyone that makes rock and modern music… for us, American musical culture is the highest point. It’s the origin of everything.

PN: Would you like to play there?

JS: Tomorrow. If I could.

So, you know what to do now. Stream ‘Human’, stream ‘Genesis’, stream Juan Saurín. We wish him all the success in the world.

Find him on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Music.

(Originally published on www.PureNowhere.com)