#stressed lizard may bite

[cheddarkit]

shakihn and onthe vrge of tars rn.

morvideos and postsab out hatng my kinypres.

whydo yuo hate yelow lizasrd som uch? ehat did we do so wron g

whatdi drivulet do

i dontfeel safe

[cheddar-inq]

bythe way

gonnado this fortumblr too ehre and on @cheddarkit

thetags are #stressed lizard and #stressed lizard may bite

[the-fiction-witch]

The Wedding In White Habour P4

Media Game Of Thrones

Character Jojen Reed Age Up

Couple Jojen X Reader

Rating Smut af

Concept Consumating the Marriage

Smut sexual discussions / making out / breast play / fondling / nipple play / nipple sucking / bj's / biting / love bites / raw sex / full sex / riding / virgin x Non virgin / nudity / face sitting / eating out / fingering / screaming / jizz / cum on stomach / cum inside / slapping / spanking /

I had grown accustomed to my room in grey water, spending my days with my books and my harp as I rarely saw my husband. We had been married now for over six months and our wedding was not yet consummated. I rarely saw him at all and even rarer we exchanged words, it saddened me but what choice did I have? I suppose I should think myself lucky, many girls are sold off to men who view them as meer ovens for heirs never allowed to leave the bed merely sheth for their sword, others are merciless cruel and abusive drunks, I should count myself lucky to have a husband who just ignores me.

I finished my bath and wrapped my robe loosely around myself just to keep out the cold heading towards the bed but I stopped short as the bedroom door opened and closed quickly after revealing an annoyed Jojen. He walked in frustrated putting a hand through his hair but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me eyes wide glancing from ankle to neck

"Ohh good evening Jojen" I smiled adjusting my robe to give me more coverage

"Let's just get this over with," he says undoing his shirt throwing it to the floor and sitting on my bed stroking up his bare arm

"What's going on Jojen?" I asked carefully approaching him

"My father's angry at me, he knows we haven't… yet."

"I see. Jojen, we don't have to do anything you don't want to" I reassured sitting beside him to take his hand gently

"We do though. I don't have a choice" he says moving his hand away from my own "he'll feed me to the lizard lions If I don't"

"I see. If I may ask, is there any reason you don't want to? Because I can perhaps do my best to accommodate things, perhaps you'd prefer just my back or my feet, or we could bring someone-"

"No. No y/n. It's nothing like that" he says "I'll be honest it was mostly stress and stubbornness that prevented it on our wedding night I was so angry at my father for forcing me to marry someone I didn't love, having to travel halfway up the north t get married"

"That's understandable, but then why have you waited all this time?"

"Fear." He says "I was just frustrated that night, the next morning when I saw you- I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and honestly… that morning I wanted nothing more than to throw you again the bed and make you my lady" he explained "but I feared I had pushed you away too far, that you already hated me, I feared that I'd be no good to you and I just…never got the courage to come and see you after that"

"Thats sweet Jojen but your my husband it's alright, whatever fears you have I'm sure we can quell them"

"You- you'd be willing to do that?"

"Of course," I smiled giving his cheek a small kiss

"I uhh I must ask what uhh what experience do you have?"

Immediately I forced down thoughts of my childhood, my past and my home forcing a smile "Well let's just say-"

"In plain words. Please. I need to know"

"My innocence was taken from me many years ago, I learnt many things and have a decent amount of experience, and you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? No handmaids? No girls in the marshes?"

"No. My father forbid it so I uhh I'm going to need to rely on you a little"

"That's all right, I'll lead just trust your instincts and if you want to stop just ask" I reassured and he nodded I smiled and pulled him gently into a soft kiss he slowly and shakily kissed back his hand coming to rest on my upper arm even if I was being gentle I couldn't help my hands stroking down his chest being as impressed as our wedding day when we pulled back I slipped off my robe leaving me completely naked he took in every inch of me much as he did the morning after our wedding but this time more intense allowing his face to show his true feelings

"You're beautiful my lady"

"Thank you Jojen, is there anything you'd like to touch?"

He didn't answer his hands merely instantly clamped onto my breasts making me giggle a little watching as he experimented squeezing groping fondling them in his hands as he tried to learn everything about them I happily allowed him his time and gently kissed his neck while he plaid his favourite seemed to be holding his hands under my breasts feeling the weight of them in his hands gently squeezing and rubbing on the skin

"You like them?"

"Very much, I uhh I think there- you're very beautiful"

"Thank you" I giggled "You know of you just' I guided his hands to slightly take a different grip so his thumbs which seemed to like rubbing on the soft skin could circle and rub my nipples which he seemed to quickly understand this instruction helping to harden them "then it feels very nice"

"It does? You uhh you like when I-" he asks rubbing on them a little harder and I bit my lip and nodded "uhh okay" he let a small moan slip "uhhhh I uhhh can I ask something?"

"Of course Jojen"

"I uhhh I uhh" he stuttered nervously his face turning red glancing to the door almost checking we weren't heard "Could I uhh could I suck - on them?"

I was taken back by his question unable to prevent a giggle which only made his face drop upset I laughed at his question

"Sorry I shouldn't have-"

"No no it's alright, I'm sorry Jojen you just surprised me is all. Of course, you can if you'd like to"

"I uh I can?"

"Of course" I nodded

He was nervous but came close kissing my lips then my chin and down my jaw, I smirked leaning my back against the post of my bed as he kissed down my neck making sure to suck a little on the crook of my neck before kissing down slightly tickling me as he kissed my chest and down between my breasts he picked the left clearly as his right hand was more than happy to continue he softly stroked my breasts before kissing my hard nipple causing my playful giggles he looked up unsure but I nodded and he took my nipple between his lips gently sucking while his other hand continued and it was very pleasurable feeling his sucking get more and more intense often flicking his tongue against my hard nipple or even gracing it with his teeth it was enough to force a moan from my lips which only seemed to fuel him making him intensify his hand and his mouth

"Uhhh Jojen" I gasped pushing him back even if he didn't much want to stop I pushed him completely off the bed to stand beside the bed I opened my legs and pulled his hips to stand between them I took his hand gently letting him pet my hair as I kissed his lower stomach gently untiring the laces of his trousers It didn't take long for him to get excited knotting his fingers into my hair as I worked with each inch I exposed as I unlaced I kissed further down exposing his rather prominent v and the small trail of blonde hair leading below, once completed unlaced they dropped to his ankles allowing me for the first time a good look at my husband and I was impressed. I was gentle not wanting to overwhelm him pressing little kisses to him and stroking his shaft but that seemed to only wind him up more he was nervous but I blew him a kiss before I took him into my mouth being so gentle as I began my sucking and gentle licking which made him utterly melt honestly of not for me holding his hips he may have collapsed on the floor or at least lost his knees out from under himself his face read of surprise and shock which worried me and made me move back "everything alright?'

"Yeah uhh yeah your uhh you're fine I uhh I didn't think it uhh"

"If was that intense?"

"Yeah" he nods

"I'll be slow" I smiled returning him to my mouth slowly but surely getting more intense now moving my head back and forth and the sounds that came out of him were enough to make me soaked listening to his gasps and groans of pleasure above me reacting to the tiniest of movements until he pushed me away so hard I fell onto the bed

"Oh sorry-"

"It's alright, enough?"

"For now anymore I uhh I don't think we'll get to do anything else" he says "How uhh how should I?"

"How should you what?"

"Well you’re more experienced than I am, I know I'm supposed to put you on your back but I heard about having you on your knees is easier I don't know"

"It's alright, it's alright how about we be gentle the first time?" I asked holding his hands as I moved to my knees he nods so I guided him into my bed giving him pillows to make sure he was comfortable

"What uhh what do I do?"

"You don't need to do anything' I smiled as I climbed onto his lap at first I merely settled on him moving my hips back and forth so I could know the sort of angles I could work with he seemed to meet with me unsure in his face but his body seemed to know what to do "there we are just like that okay," I told him giving him a soft kiss before I carefully lowered myself letting him slip inside of me having to stop a moment once I reached the base as I was a little overwhelmed "uuughhh…" I gasped rolling my head back a little "ummm you sure fill a girl up good Jojen" I giggled

"I uhh I'm inside you. I'm actually inside you"

"Fully inside me my sweet husband" I smiled giving his lips a kiss

"You look, incredibly gorgeous on top of me"

I giggled "I shall have to do it more then"

"You can do it whenever you like my lady" he Cooes his hands settling on my hips and ass "uuhhh… why did I wait so long?"

"I don't know" I smiled "I'll be slow okay," I asked and he nods so I settled a hand on his stomach and began to move my hips to ride him his hips worked into my own his mouth hung open often moans escaping his head thrown back against the pillows

"Uuuughhhhh! Uuuuuuuhhh y/n! Y/n! Uuuuuuuhhh"

"It feels nice my sweet husband?'

"Amazing my beautiful wife" he smirked his innocent blush seeming to disappear leaning up to bite at my neck wrapping his arms around my back fueled by his desires I giggled pushing him back down and changing my angle a little allowing myself to bounce and grind harder and faster against him so much so the bed began banging against the wall and I leaned down to kiss and leave a love bite on his neck "uuhh yes! Yes! Uuuughhhhh y/n!" He moans loudly his nails digging into my hips and forcing me down as deep as possible "Y/n… y/n" he whines before letting loose a loud and throaty moan releasing his grip on me immediately and releasing his seed deep inside me

"Ohhh Jojen, you could have warned me," I asked sitting up and making sure to let him rose it out and making sure his seed got as deep inside me as possible for a better chance of me getting pregnant then again if not I certainly wouldn't be opposed to a few more nights like this and I'm sure he wouldn't either

"Sorry y/n. I uhh I didn't have a lot of warning either" he chuckled between his breaths

"Did you enjoy it, my husband?"

"Very very much my beautiful wife" he Cooes holding my hand and peppering it with kisses "I shouldn't have waited so long, I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't want to. But now it's over with my innocence is gone and were officially married and I couldn't be happier" he smiled sitting up to kiss me

"That's sweet Jojen I'm very happy too" I smiled nuzzling with him

"I uhh I got mine, did you get yours?"

"My what?"

"I got to release my seed. Did my wife get to reach the sky too?" He asks

"No, but that's okay our first time and all of takes practice ladies are very complicated Jojen"

"But I want to, it's not fair. Surely there are secrets you can show me?"

"Well I don't know any, spent my life learning to be a lady and how to please a man never the other way"

"Oh… uhh could I try something then?"

"Of course" I nodded

He smiled and cupped my breasts again kissing down my neck as he firmed them up in his hands rubbing on my nipples as they once again got hard for him "You like that?" He asks and I nodded he smirked and kissed up to my neck "You liked this?" He whispered between kisses and I nodded trying to hold back my giggles his hand moved down my stomach and then around my hip taking a firm grip on my ass and giving it a gentle slap

"Ohh" I giggled

"You like that sweetie?" He smirked and I couldn't help but nod biting my lip a little and burying my head in his neck in embarrassment "awww cute, you like what I'm doing or what I'm saying?"

"Both"

"Both? You like it when I call you… sweetie?" He smirked milking the word and I nodded

"Humm okay" he smirked biting his lip as he intentionally stared down at me "You've been a bad little thing, sweetie." He growled slapping my ass hard

"Ohh Jojen"

"Umm yeah, you like that?" He smirked moving my hips to slowly ride him again "You like that sweetie? You like it when your sexy husband comes and uses you?" He smirked and I nodded blushing hard "fuck-" he groaned pulling me into a kiss his hands moving to just my hips when he pulled away I was utterly shocked by his words "I want you to sit on my face"

"What - Jojen I uhh"

"Please, I've heard people talk about it. It sounds amazing, it's all I want right now" he groans

"I don't know Jojen I mean you were innocent an hour ago" I giggled

"Please I'd you don't like it I'll never ask again, but please it's all I can think about" he groans "I want your sweet pussy ridding my face sweetie"

"Well… okay but carefully I don't want to hurt you"

"If this is how I did believe me I will die happy" he says laying back with his head on the pillow eager and excited I was nervous having never done it before but I moved holding the wooden headboard my knees on either side of his head I was slow moving slowly until his lips met me he happily held my thighs to keep me still and at this level as he kissed and sucked as he had on my nipple

"Uuhhhh Jojen!" I gasped feeling the sharp pleasure he didn't speak merely working hard to pleasure my aching clit clearly enjoying himself he began to move my hips the same as when I was riding him which only intensified the pleasure letting him work into me better to send more accurate waves of pleasure as I rode I could barely contain my moans my hands leaving the headboard to play with my breasts as he worked, after a while I knew how close I was getting feeling so on edge but one hand left my thigh and he thrusted two fingers deep inside me moving them in and out as he merciless licked and sucked which caused me to scream his name loudly and slightly squirt

Immediately he pulled his fingers out and flipped us over so I laid on my back and he now sat over me looking as happy as I'd ever seen him my wetness soaked across the lower half of his face

"Like it?" I asked

"Everything I hoped it would be" he smirked "Did you like it?"

"Very much"

"But still no?"

"No." I blushed

"Say no more sweetie" he smirked kissing down my neck and then down between my breasts making a stop to suck on each nipple a moment before kissing down my stomach he opened my thighs as far as possible and buried his head there returning to his pace returning his fingers inside me as he became utterly merciless on me leaving me to scream in pleasure my only outlet gripping my sheets or attempting to pleasure my breasts which he noticed and batted my hand off using his other hand to play with my breast often rubbing and twisting my nipple as he worked until I hit a wall of pleasure squeezing my legs around his head screaming so much my throat slightly shredded

"Uuuuuuuhhh uuughhhh Jojen!"

He pulled back but only to wipe his mouth on the back of his hand looming over me excitedly "uuhhh sweetie" he gasps and it was then I noticed the hand that had been fingering me now wrapped around his hard shaft "fuck you made me hard just watching you like that," he groans his hand working hard as he jerked himself off over my naked body I blushed but batted his hand away

"That's a job for your wife Jojen" I smirked stroking my pussy which he only smirked at

"Ummm yes it is sweetie" he growled biting his lip before pushing as deep inside me as he could "fuck! More.."

"What?" I gasped feeling him once again fill me up with his shaft

"More" he growled wrapping my legs around his waist "I want you sweetie. Now" he demanded grabbing my hips and thrusting so mercilessly that it was almost as if he found a new angle leaning down to leave hikes across my neck pounding my pussy so mercilessly that all I could do was scream he held my hips so hard my hips were actually completely off the bed the whole bed shaking as it banged repeatedly against the wall "yeah you like that, you like your husband fucking railing you"

"Uhhh yes! Jojen please!"

"Uuhhhh just a little longer sweetie please, I'm so close too" he groans moving a hand to rub on my clit which was enough to tip me over the edge sending me almost off the earth itself for my second orgasm he melted against me feeling me around him "uuuuuuuhhh! Fucking hell" he moans as only a few more thrusts later he pulled out and send his seed across my stomach before collapsing among the covers with me "okay… I wanna be inside you every time you do that"

"Really?"

"God yes" he gasps "Holy fuck your amazing"

"Thank you, my wonderful husband did very very good too" I smiled nuzzling up to him as we cuddled up against the bed

"Yeah? I did a good job for my first time?"

"A perfect job" I Cooed

"Well we have time to learn all the little secrets about each other" he smiled "and… what we each like" he smirked wrapping my leg around his hips and stroking my ass and thigh

"I think I can guess what you like Jojen"

"Humm can you now? Well, I know what you like too, sweetie" he smirked almost growling that last word and I couldn't help but blush and slightly squeeze my legs together "hummm" he chuckled "Again sweetie?" He whispered in my ear

I couldn't help but giggle "Later Jojen when we have some energy"

"Your right, I really am sorry for being a dick"

"It's alright you had your reasons, so long as things will be different now?"

"Of course, I promise" he Cooes kissing my nose making me giggle "You are such a little giggler it's so cute," he smiled "Hey what would you say to maybe… a couple days together just you and me?"

"I'd like that"

"And maybe we could move our rooms in together?" He suggested

"That sounds lovely Jojen"

"Umm I love you y/n"

"Aww I love you too Jojen" I smiled nuzzling close to him as we tucked the covers up around us

"Can I stay tonight?"

"Of course as long as you'd like"

We got cosy and snug cuddled up together comfortably  

[catsofcalifornia]

Tallulah Gin AKA Lula from Animal Network of Orange County in Newport Beach, California

Click here for more information about adoption and other ways to help!

Click here for a link to Animal Network of Orange County's main website.

Tallulah Gin aka Lula has enchanting vibrant green eyes and most people say she is really gorgeous!

She is 6 years old with very unusual markings being she looks like she is a black long hair and yet has grey with slight calico markings. She is very furry and would become matted without being in a home that will groom here. She sometimes needs a sanitary clip on her behind.

Lula is playful with interactive toys like the feather wand and she likes plastic lizard toys or wadded up paper balls. She likes comfy sofas and chairs and is a pretty lounge lizard.

She has lived in the same home since she was a kitten and the couple is giving Tallulah Gin up because they have new grandbabies that visit and Lula will react by biting or scratching them.

Like many cats Lula has petting aggression which is often misunderstood. Petting aggression is easily manageable by just not petting the cat in areas it doesn't like or not petting in the same place over and over, or not petting when they are not in the mood. Simply put, petting aggression can be managed by learning what areas the cat likes petting and avoiding areas it doesn't and if a cat strikes when being petted 5 times just stop petting at 4 times before the cat gets disturbed.

Many cats when first rescued may exhibit signs of petting aggression and will swipe when you pet them because they have not been petted in such a long while and the stimulus is too much for them.

When a home is found that they will be happy in and they learn to trust their caregiver and they feel safe the extreme behavior simply isn't as apparent.

We use a back scratcher to pet all new rescue cats to get them used to us and petting. Overstimulation is often the cause of petting aggression and a cat that hasn't been petted for a while can just feel too many feelings and that overwhelm them. A back scratcher is a good tool to build trust and bond with any cat. It allows the cat to experience pleasure and for the pet-parent to learn what feels good to the cat.

Lula currently lives in her ordinal home and we would love a foster parent to be able to help her live without the stress of the grandkids.

If Tallulah Gin is of interest tell me about yourself and others in the home as well as other pets. She will be happy in a home without children.

[llau-ren-ti-a]

Bad Batch Headcanons - Skin Conditions

I’ve had this on my mind for way too long now and I NEED to write it down.

For context: I think that their mutations and “enhancements” had some side effects and actually made them more sensitive or gave them some other issues, this is one of many. Maybe Regs have to deal with this too, but I’m running with the Bad Batch for now.

TW: skin conditions, acne, eczema, a little blood? self-harm and injury

Hunter

first of all - he has like the most sensitive skin ever

I’m talking unscented, only natural ingredients, ph-neutral, everything you can imagine

soap made from ash, lime and oil, like, really specific and gentle shit

but on the other hand worst mixed skin ever, goes from crazy oily to dryer than Tatooine at least once a week

he’s either looking like a glazed donut or a shedding lizard

he’d straight up put cooking oil on his face bc “oil is good for dry skin, right?

someone tell this man how to take care of himself istg

bandana hides his greasy roots

bandana may be tied in different styles to hide his dandruff

he‘s highkey insecure about it

he‘s shedding like a dog, his hair is everywhere

in the shower, on the bed sheets, in the food if he cooks

if he ever shaves, doesn’t matter where or how he’s getting the worst razor burn and ingrown hairs ever

he’s getting all the issues

also, a big candidate for body acne?

he gives me back acne vibes

doesn’t wash his bedsheets or towel nearly often enough

they actually all (accidentally?) share a towel and never wash it, I’m convinced

Tech

his skin is dry af like, eczema / neurodermitis / psoriasis dry

especially his hands and joints, like the inside of knees and elbows

and around his eyes, especially because of his goggles/glasses, but also in the corners

he researched everything but sometimes just can’t help it and almost scratches his skin off

Hunter makes him wear cotton gloves when he goes to bed

that’s why he never sleeps

Crosshair straight up ties his hands with bandages so he can’t scratch himself

also a very dry scalp / dandruff candidate

should spend all of his time moisturising

tinkering around the marauder and getting into contact with motor oils/hydraulic liquids/fuel only makes it so so so much worse

doesn't wear skin protection, especially not gloves because it 'inhabits his motor functions'

don't get me started on his nails and nailbeds, because I can see how inflamed and irritated the skin is

the skin also peels off

sweaty hands

has a lot of moles?

stresses about said moles

Wrecker

has the nicest skin ever

except for a big pore / blackhead here and there

usually around the nose or on his forehead

literally the guy who either doesn't use soap or uses the same bar of soap to wash everything

it works

healthy glow might be mistaken for oily skin but it's actually not

actually gets a sunburn often, especially on his head, but refuses to do anything about it

turns into a lobster on uv-light-intense missions

red skin, really tight and shiny

sometimes, if crosshair is feeling really mean he gives him a brotherly slap on the sunburnt shoulder

he gets mouth sores sometimes, like cold sores?

also very attractive to mosquitos? he sweats a lot

scratches his mosquito bites so there are little scars all over his body

really random but occasionally he gets like one big aggressive butt pimple and can't sit for a few days

is very vocal about said butt pimple

Crosshair

my beloved

he's also getting all the issues

had very bad acne as a cadet

especially around his chin and cheeks to the point he straight up refused to take off his helmet

now that he's done with puberty he has a bunch of acne scars left

still breaks out sometimes

very sensitive to water - he just washes his face like usual and suddenly breaks out because that particular planet's water is 'weird'

so much acne but dry af skin, it's hard to combat

skin picking as self harm

aggressive nail biter; not only the nails but the skin around it

he's actually one big hangnail

and his nailbeds and sides are always inflamed

toothpicks to stop him from picking his skin

or to try to stop him from smoking but this is not a mental health / addiction headcanon

I'm convinced he has the ugliest, driest old man elbows and knees, I just know that they look weird

Echo

technically a reg, I know

but his prosthetics sometimes don't sit right, so there's a lot of friction and a high risk of irritated skin, blisters and sores

he's so pale - not surprised at all if he gets sunburnt quickly

reminds everyone to use lotion / sunscreen

learned the hard way bc he listened to Fives

tries to keep everyone from making stupid mistakes

buir mode activated

Omega

baby

baby skin

for now

Echo attempts to keep her in check

gets one really bad sunburn and learns her lesson

can't move for 3 business days

also, not a skin condition but she spends 5 seconds in direct sunlight and is just covered in freckles

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

tell me your indus and Howie headcanons please

Aaa! Of course!!! I genuienly love Indus, so theres plenty for him! Sadly for Howie, not so much :( hes great but vv hard to hc for

INDUS TARBELLA:

He loves baking! You can walk into the kitchen seeing him covered in batter and trying to muscle open something with a barrier. (Mera has to help him open things)

Loud snorer, i cant explain WHY but i look at him and feel like he does snore loudly

His not so guilty pleasure is Disney movies; he'll have Mera watch them all with him. Its kinda cute seeing him giggle at everything like hes a child

You cant take him on rides at Disney tho, he'll scream. Mera learned that the hard way

Dog person. Loves the big does, and lizards! He'll come in with a handful of lizards and be like:

"Look at what I found, Lady Mera!" Indus declared proudly, offering his two hands forward to reveal a family of lizards.

Mera looked down at them both, raising a brow in confusion. Looking back up she sees Indus' childlike grin, "May I keep them??? Please???"

Mera sighed heavily "Indus, put them back..." Indus lowers his head "Awww.. "

Hes probably eaten anything that wasnt food, either by dumb curiosity or trying to protect Mera, sometimes its the other way around and Mera has to slap something out of his hands. Or comfort him when hes coughing out a bite of deodorant

Hes like a giant pillow. You will sink if you hug him, absolutely worth it.

On that note, he loves hugs! But will absolutely crush your bones! Just like that one bear pokémon

Music taste wise, i picture him listening to the Tarzan sound track, or whatever Mera's listening to (probably grungey stuff)

Has punched a scare actor in the face many times out of fear. Hes banned from several haunted houses and thene parks

His hair is ridiculously fluffy. I can sense it

HOWIE HONEYGLOW

Prone to burnout, sometimes he will pass out from being overworked, only to get back up and continue working

Has fucked up teeth from all the honeyed snacks

Secretly collects a lot of bee related things, like plushies

Rarely gives sick days or time off, you better either be dying or dead to not come in

Unpopular opinion, I dont think Howie's aro, but i do agree that he's ace.

Doesnt listen to music; either the bee movie or buzzing asmr is playing in his ears

Probably had a speech impediment, it comes out when hes angry

An artist! He's not all that good but hes TRYING

Knows the art of pinecone milking (Percy taught him)

I feel like this man would bite into a honeycomb and like it

On that note, he eats honey nut cheerios for breakfast every day

Always has water on hand for the fellas, cant let em dehydrate! He himself? Dehydrated as fuck

Also brings snacks for the fellas! He himself? Hungry but wont say anything

Favorite pokemon are all the bee ones

Nonbinary, uses He/they pronouns

Looks at least 30 from stressed and over working himself

His diet consists of only ceral, honeyed snacks and monster energy

At least he has good iron intake?????

Hope you enjoyed, anon!

[thegreatyin]

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

protag gang?

all three of them??? three for three???????* im working overtime on minimum retail writing wages here

*in actuality four for four. surprise twist. spider jumpscare.

💯 - Share three random facts about your OC that others may not know.

Callie blinks.

She bites her lip and averts her eyes, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "I, uh- me? Me??? Really? You don't wanna direct it all at Volps?"

A muffled affirmative rings out from behind the fourth wall. Callie blanches. "Seriously. She's way more interesting. You'd get way more mileage."

A shaky hand runs through her hair- nails slightly sharp, skin slightly flushed. She inhales, then exhales. Her eyes dim and her jaw wavers. "I... guess I like to knead things when I'm stressed. And, uh, my favorite drink is milk? Does that count?"

Silence.

One second passes. Two. Three. Callie huffs and buries her face in her hands, drawing her knees close to her chest as she leans back rather precariously in her chair. "I don't- I don't know. I can't think of another one. I don't like talking about myself. I'm not half as interesting as you might think. Can we please move on now?"

-

Volpi grins and eagerly shuffles all the way forward in her chair, digging the edges of her prosthetic into cushioned fabric. She clicks her tongue and lays out both hands in a dramatic array- almost akin to a dealer spreading a deck of cards- then lowers seven fingers and counts on three.

"I used to dig random holes in the backyard for no reason when I was a kit. I'm the reigning champion at royal guard karaoke night. And," she pauses like a theatre actor, "I've beaten His Majesty King Altair Aquilae at chess no less than seven whole times."

She pauses once more after this. Clearly expecting applause. As though she's under the impression these are all amazing and jaw-dropping feats.

The only-slightly-metaphorical interviewer behind the fourth wall doesn't clap, but they do (presumably) act sufficiently awed. Volpi beams like she's the star of a show.

-

"Oh." Rin squeaks with her face flushed onyx. "It's my turn now?"

She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. One minute passes. Two minutes pass. Her tail twitches frantically against her thighs.

"I like drawing." she whispers so low it's barely audible. "And I made Volpi's scarf for her birthday a few years ago and she hasn't taken it off since. And- and, I, um, I think cats are really really cute?"

Silence.

She blinks frantically behind her glasses and seems to don the guise of a very shy weasel trying desperately to hide between her own fingers. "Did I do that right?"

-

Perci blinks like a lizard. Weird tongue-eye-licking and all.

He flutters his wings. He cocks his head exactly 30 degrees like some sort of strange feral parrot-shaped-like-a-child. He raps his palms against the edge of his booster seat in a manner not wholly unlike a spider. He opens his mouth and his every word comes out as illegible song.

He doesn't seem to really understand the question. Or maybe he does, and he just doesn't know how to put his answers into words mortals can easily comprehend.

....either way, that's probably all you'll be getting out of him.

[texasobserver]

”200,000 Steps on the Lone Star Hiking Trail” by Sergio Chapa, from the May/June 2023 issue of Texas Observer magazine:

I grew up in northwest Austin at the edge of the Texas Hill Country, where hiking through the woods and playing in creeks were daily activities. So, I’ve always been an “outdoors person.” After moving to Houston for a journalism job, I quickly began running and biking along the city’s mostly concrete-lined bayous. Then an environmental activist told me something intriguing: Just an hour north of the traffic and skyscrapers of downtown Houston is the 96-mile Lone Star Hiking Trail, the longest footpath in Texas.

During April 2020, I began a quest to hike the full trail along with a friend in my “COVID bubble.” It was a sunny and unseasonably hot day as we embarked from mile marker zero inside the 163,000-acre Sam Houston National Forest. So early in the pandemic, we hiked without seeing another person, hearing a car on the road, or spotting an airplane in the sky. The only sounds were chirping birds, squirrels and lizards scurrying, and the wind blowing through the leaves.

It was a Coronavirus-safe activity and I was hooked. 

On maps, the national forest is depicted as a massive patch of public land. But on the ground, hundreds of U.S. Forest Service tracts are broken up by private timberlands, farms and ranches, and a growing number of rural homes and subdivisions. Mostly flat to rolling terrain, the forest is laced with creeks as well as the east and west forks of the San Jacinto River and the not-so-scenic lanes of Interstate 45.

Starting near Richards and ending near Cleveland, the Lone Star Hiking Trail proper is 96 miles through the forest with five optional loops adding another 32 miles. Depending on one’s height and weight, that’s roughly 200,000 steps. Given a pace of about three miles per hour, it would take roughly 32 hours to hike the entire trail nonstop. Hiking about eight hours per day means less than a week of hiking and camping. 

But that’s not the path I chose. 

It took me sixteen trips with various friends over two years to hike the entire trail. Confession: We weren’t disciplined about it; sometimes weeks or months lapsed between forays. Most often, I’d park my car at one of the 15 trailheads and we’d hike for five or six miles and then head back. On every visit, the trail provided valuable relief with its clean air, social distancing, and an escape from the four-wall confinement of lockdown and stress. Our slower approach allowed us to experience the forest in all four seasons.

Spring is marked by fresh light green leaves, wildflowers and white color pops of dogwood and magnolia blossoms. The summer can be brutally hot, but it’s the best time to enjoy Lake Conroe or Double Lake. The fall brings orange, red, and yellow hues as purple beautyberries and red yaupon holly berries ripen in the understory. Pine trees and oaks stay green during winter while colonies of colorful mushrooms and fungus sprout on the forest floor. 

I shared our hikes on Twitter and Instagram, and the Lone Star Hiking Trail became a hit with my social media followers too.

It’s much easier to hike the trail virtually. To do it in person, you need plenty of water, snacks, insect repellent, spare socks, powder, paper towels and wipes, and willingness to rough it, since there are no bathrooms or vending machines aside from spartan amenities at the Stubblefield and Double Lake campgrounds. Good walking shoes and long pants with high socks reduce risks of scratches, bug bites and ticks. Snakes on this trail mostly flee from people. However, mosquitoes and spiders are fearless. 

Early morning hikes meant the person in the lead breaks overnight cobwebs. Scat with fur signaled coyotes and bobcats, but the most worrisome signs were the wallows and rooting of feral pigs. My worst fear was encountering hogs, which can attack when frightened or startled. Luckily, we never saw any.

Sam Houston is one of the state’s four national forests created by Congress during the Great Depression. The timber industry previously clear-cut large swaths of the Piney Woods. State lawmakers bought hundreds of barren tracts in 1933, with the intent of adding them to the national forest system. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed Angelina, Davy Crockett, Sabine, and Sam Houston national forests in October 1936. Roosevelt’s Civilian Conservation Corps planted millions of trees. The U.S. Forest Service gave the Lone Star Chapter of the Sierra Club permission to build the trail in 1967. The trail and all its loops were complete by 1978. 

It’s big enough that you can easily get lost. I’m an experienced outdoorsman, but we’ve gotten lost on the Lone Star Hiking Trail, marked by small reflective markers nailed into the trunks of trees. It’s easy to lose track of the markers after leaving U.S. Forest Service land and walking down a rural road to the next section. Cell-phone service can be spotty, so it’s best to download Lone Star Hiking Trail Club maps in advance. 

But not all of this wilderness is protected. Legally distinct from national parks and refuges, national forests can be used for hunting, fishing, timber, grazing, mining, oil, and natural gas. By law, the U.S. Forest Service must manage Sam Houston with no single resource emphasized over others. To that point, the 163,000 acres also include trails for ATVs, mountain bikes, and horses. Lakes are stocked with bluegill, largemouth bass, and catfish. Oil wells and easements for pipelines and power lines are common.

Historically, wildfires kept the forest from getting too dense and unhealthy. Today, the U.S. Forest Service uses controlled burns and sustainable timber harvesting in efforts to control a pest known as the southern pine beetle and improve habitat for the red-cockaded woodpecker, an endangered species that favors open “pine savannas” and nests from April to June. Over the decades, environmentalists and forest managers have sparred in court over forestry practices related to the beetle and woodpecker.

I looked for those woodpeckers, but only heard their distinctive high-pitched chirps and tap tap-tapping hidden in the canopy. 

Sprawl and suburbanization are the biggest threat to the forest and to this trail. I-45, the busy thoroughfare connecting Houston and Dallas, divides it in two, creating a formidable barrier for wildlife and people. The Texas Department of Transportation spent millions improving a 15-mile stretch of highway between Huntsville and New Waverly but spent little on allowing hikers or wildlife to cross safely under the roadway where cars speed past a white 67-foot statue of Texas founding father Sam Houston.

I wish the Texas legislature would use some of its $32.7 billion budget surplus to create a buffer for this trail—and improve the crossings that either don’t exist or have been damaged and make a through-hike so challenging. Unfortunately, this year has seen news in the opposite direction: The state recently lost a lovely park further north on the I-45 corridor that offered its own woodland paths.

In theory, animals can use the narrow corridor where Big Chinquapin Creek goes under the highway, but hikers must trudge four miles along three rural roadways and the I-45 frontage road in order to reach the next trail section. 

Country-club communities such as Elkins Lake and the Texas Grand Ranch subdivision with its two- to five-acre lots allow people to live at the edge of the forest. As an unintended result, nonnative ornamental plants are escaping into the wild and becoming invasive species. The average person may not notice, but I kept spotting exotic plants like nandina, wax-leaf ligustrum, Chinese tallow, chinaberry, bamboo, and hardy orange all along the trail. 

Volunteers with the Lone Star Hiking Club and the Houston area Sierra Club maintain the trail and try to clear out invaders. I’d love to give back and join them one day.

But it’s a big job—and progress is often slow.

A vehicle bridge to the Stubblefield Campground washed out during Hurricane Harvey in August 2017 but was not rebuilt until 2022. A footbridge over scenic and shaded bluffs of the east fork of the San Jacinto River in the Magnolia section of the trail was destroyed more than eight years ago and never replaced. 

Hikers are forced to take a complex detour, though I opted to park my car at the next trailhead and walk to the opposite bank. 

Even as the pandemic fades, I’m still going back for more, particularly to hike the loops outside the main trail. To me, this escape seems even more valuable with Houston growing at a pace that will see it overtake Chicago as the third-largest U.S. city. Even as the metropolitan area expands in all directions, the forest still offers respite.

[xiihyunn]

Hi my darling girl, as promised here is the long awaited fun fact...

Automutilation is a natural phenomenon where an animal mutilates itself. This is most commonly seen in octopuses. There are two forms of automutilation, autotomy and autophagy. Autotomy is when an animal will willingly sever or remove a particular body part. Now you may be wondering why an animal would intentionally mutilate itself. Take an octopus of example, if one of its tentacles has an infection, is damaged, or is trapped in something, the octopus will bite off that limb. This in most cases saves its life and avoids further infection and pain. Autophagy is technically considered a type of cannibalism as most times the limb will actually be consumed. This happens when the octopus is exposed to immense physical or psychological stress. So an octopus will perform self-cannibalism when in physical or mental turmoil. Autophagy has been seen in a few marine animals, but octopuses by far have been observed to practice said phenomenon the most. Got a little carried away with this one sorry, really word slutted myself out here <3

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS OMGG 😭

i think another animal is a small lizard or smth, i heard they could just cut off their tails if it gets too long. but what do i know 🤷🏻‍♀️

thank you for this fun fact my love <3

[cheddarkit]

grrr hii !!!!!

im retic !!!! im a red fox kit, arctic fox, bat eared fox, gargoyle gecko, reticulated python and rain world yellow / cyan lizard therian / otherkin, as well as Rivulet [rain world] kin, Hornet [hollow knight] kin, and eyefestation [roblox pressure] kin <3

please dni if you kin rivulet or eyefestation as well !!!!

i use he/it pronouns :3

this is @cheddar-inq's therian blog !!!! yk for the silly. for the silly.

ill mostly just be posting my therian-related art and the like, as well as rambling or talking abt my therianthropy [and me being an otherkin yk]

i have asks open just in case anybody wants to ask me stuff !!!

important tags

#stressed lizard - having difficulty typing due to gargoyle gecko shifts (usually these happen when im upset / stressed for some reason), usually these posts are negative and may be hard to understand.

#stressed lizard may bite - same as above except i will likely be ruder, more negative, and more confused. overwhelmed kinda

#lizard may bite - ruder, more negative, more confused, often vent posts. not having claw shifts that cause typing struggles

yippie !!!!!!

[cheddar-inq]

hi !!!!!

Hi !!! I'm Shuriken / Eyefestation / Retic, I'm an unlabelled aroace trans demiboy (he/it) who loves loves loves rain world !!!

I love nicknames + shortened versions of my names, like shuri or eyefest :]

i have a lizard :3

Just a warning, my blog will probably contain a lot of shipping !! I tag all posts I reblog or create that include shipping with #shipping and #rw shipping since that's basically all I do

please do not send me grasshopper or cricket images / sounds

please do not send me slime gifs / videos

kin list:

-fox cladotherian (red fox kit and bat-eared fox "primary")

-gargoyle gecko

-reticulated python

-rain world yellow lizard

-rain world cyan lizard

-rain world rivulet

-hornet hollow knight

-eyefestation roblox pressure

-shuriken roblox phighting? [questioning]

I am all of these !!!! Please do not tell me that im not, I do understand I am human visually but I'm still nonhuman

DNI proshippers, zoophiles, pedophiles, necrophiles, anti lgbtq+, anti alterhuman / nonhuman, anti kin, generally rude people, aphobes, racists, sexists, ableists, pro-life, terfs, ect. Basic DNI criteria.

free palestine.

Please do not interact if you are 13 years old or younger !!

Please do not interact if you kin any of my fictkins [riv, hornet, eyefest, shuri] !!!

Adults can interact as long as you aren't an nsfw blog and aren't going to be weird.

more below !!!!!!! :33 tags, sideblogs, and other info

just a warning. i should NEVER be allowed to participate in favorite region discussions. it will always be the wall. it always has been the wall.

i LOVE LOVE LOVE yellow lizards.

I draw sometimes !! Mostly slugcats, rw lizards, foxes, and cats

my tags-

#kit yips - me rambling / being silly

#rolly says hi - posting abt my bearded dragon, rolly (pronounced raw-lee)

#stressed lizard - having difficulty typing due to gargoyle gecko or other lizard claw shifts, usually these posts are negative and may be hard to understand.

#stressed lizard may bite - same as above except i will likely be ruder, more negative, and more confused. overwhelmed kinda

#lizard may bite - ruder, more negative, more confused, often vent posts. not having claw shifts that cause typing struggles

#retic's portal fox au - my portal fox au

sideblogs-

@whatreptileisthat - my lizard / snake identifying blog !!!!!

@cheddarkit - nonhuman blog !!!

@rainworldlizardcatalogue - a lizard catalogue run by me and my friend tom :3 kinda like everyscavever but for lizards !!!!

@the-eyefestation + @ask-solace - ask blogs for eyefestation + sebastian solace I run with a friend,,,

i do enjoy rw shipping !!! i tag all posts including shipping with both #shipping and #rw shipping

my favorite ships are puffball (saint and gourm) and deepsea / lanternfish / starfish (rivulet and nightcat)

I'm a minor !!

Sites:

Toyhou.se

[ray-wattson]

Now we got the second member of the Trouble Quad and the last member of Emily's team during her quest, Rashi. Obviously, that isn't his real name, as his past look tells. According to him, he came up with that nickname because of a piece of paper, torn out of some sort of Japanese restaurant ad, taking "Rashi" as what he is known ever since. In a dimension the Alterrians call "Nebulae Space Dimension" due to the pretty colors when looking through the windows of the space facility the portal is located at; Rashi, formerly known as Blake, used to work as a janitor in this huge facility called Prodigy Corps, where all sorts of science, lab creations and contained specimen are found. Everything was all normal and simple for this fella, even though he wasn't much of a liked person among the staff of Prodigy Corps, until one day, he was invited to be a test subject of an invention that was intended to provide a great healing factor, similar to a species of alien lizard, that they used to work on that machine.

However, It all went wrong and, along with all the abilities of said lizard, he was transformed into a mutated human resembling them, frightening the employees and promptly leading them to take him for studies and research, indirectly stripping him of his job. Weeks after the incident, and feeling all of those operation tools and medicines, everything went downhill when he reached his breaking point and tried to escape, accidentally breaking a container with something quite dangerous and sentient, that eventually killed every single scientist and employee in the facility, as well as some creatures it deemed as "unworthy", but keeping three subjects to work with it.

After being found by Emily and her friends, he became a friend of them (despite being known as annoying and dumb), especially Mike, the gerakian, who have been like bros to each other, before they moved to Alterra.

Rashi may be friendly, mostly clumsy and dumb, with a casual demeanor, but out of Emily's team, he is the strongest of them all, with his abilities consisting of inhuman strength and agility, strong bones, regenerative healing factor, able to change color of his skin (and clothes, due to having his DNA all over it), immunity to poison and biohazard, a short hallucinogenic bite, squirt out of his eyes, a sticky, bloody-red liquid out of them (which often happens out of panic), and due to being part-aquatic by the mutation, along with the gills on the sides of his body, he is capable of breathing underwater.

One side effect of his mutation involves anything that triggers his photosensitive epilepsy he got from birth, instead causes him to go completely crazy, his pupils enlarging to a round shape, making the red sclera barely seen, as his fins on the sides of his head fan up (which always happens when he is feeling stressed in any form), his mouth begin to produce foam while acting like a rabid, wild animal on loose. A lot of people, including his friends, get easily afraid of this state and some try their best to restrain him and calm him down. But with his dangerous traits aside, he loves to chill, spending his time watching anime, cracking jokes and hanging out with his friends, especially Mike and the rest of his good pals I'm yet to introduce.

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

Cuban False Chameleon

Enclosure:

The minimum size is 18 x 18 x 24 inches or 30 gallon for one adult and glass works well (more height)

36 x 18 x 36 in can house a duo and 48 x 18 x 36 can house a trio, but bigger is better

Add 10 gallons for every lizard 

Never house 2 males together, but you can house many females or one male to many females (last may result in breeding though)

Their substrate can be coconut fiber with sphagnum moss or any bioactive substrate with springtails or other “cleanup crew”

If you have a non-bioactive substrate then clean every month

They need UVB (50 watt?) and a heating lamp (day and night cycle too)

Their daytime temperature should be 73-78 degrees F and their basking temperature should be about 90 degrees F

They need about 80% humidity and it is best in invest in a mister or water dripper system for them (hygrometer too)

Water drippers can be made from sturdy cups and you poke a hole in the bottom with a needle. Clean weekly and make sure it’s full 24/7

They do not need a water dish as they drink the droplets off their enrichment

There needs to be enrichment, climbing sources, and hides for them

You can use branches, caves, leaf litter, fake or live plants, corkbark, driftwood, or artificial vines

If there are juveniles then a food dish needs to be present

Diet/Feeding habits:

Their diet is snails and insects. They have strong jaws and roll their food around in he mouth to crack open the shells regardless of the presence of a shell

Feeding live snails works along with canned ones. Make sure they are parasite free

Insects they can eat include dubia roaches, crickets, mealworms, silkworms, caterpillars, and waxworms in moderation

Coat every meal in calcium powder and vitamins

If you see they aren’t getting enough hydration then you can spray some water on each of their insects or snails to help them hydrate

Hatchlings (under 3 months) need to be fed everyday

Juveniles and adults can be fed 3-4 times a week

There should always be a container with a few mealworms available, so food is available 24/7 to those under a year old. If over a year old, then this is not needed

They don’t overeat, but typically 3-5 crickets or slightly less snails is a meal 

Age Identification:

Their average lifespan is 8-15 years with the average being about 10 years

Physical Traits:

They are not a true species of chameleon, but instead an anole. They are also known as bearded anoles

They are casques on the top of their head

They have spikes on their dewlap or below their chin (males typically have bigger ones)

Males also have larger scales and bumps near their vent (more easy to see as adults)

Adults grow to about 7-14 inches full length

Their eyes can move independently of each other

They’re typically shades of brown, dark green, or white for camouflage

They have short, blunt teeth to help crush snails and the shells of insects

They have sticky toe pads and are great climbers

They can’t “drop” their tail like other anoles

Juveniles shed more than adults and shedding takes a few hours max. They shed in pieces and eat their shed (let them, it had nutrients)

Personality:

If they feel angry or threatened they will darken their colors to almost a black

They are otherwise docile and chill

Arboreal and sedentary 

They get stressed if 2 males see each other or if over handled

Males get very territorial 

Health Concerns:

Stuck sheds can cause lack of circulation and make tissue necrotic. This solved by having the proper humidity or letting them soak in baths if needed

Metabolic bone disease caused by lack of calcium and UVB

Parasites can be found stuck to their skin and treated. See a vet.

Dehydration is a major issues and is seen by lethargy and sunken eyes to the point of eye infections as well

Handling:

It takes a lot for them to bite and they would rather run away or make themselves look more threatening. Still respect their boundaries though.

Slide your hand under their belly to pick them up as to not mimic a predator

Start when they are young and hold them about 10 minutes daily to get them socialized

They may jump unexpectedly so be prepared

[neonscandal]

Polishing Off 2022: Fandom Style ✨

This account has oscillated between a lot of shows, ships, content, etc and it's funny thinking about the different ways my lizard brain experiences, digests and manifests these little fixations. I've resigned that I likely won't push out anymore fics this year (and refuse to admit that I might not find the time/energy to churn out some obsessively meta reflections) but below are some of my favorite ways I've celebrated my return to fandom (regardless of their reception)

TL;DNR: Here's to another year down the rabbit hole.

FAVORITE WRITTEN PIECES

Look ya'll, I got an ao3 (my fanfiction.net will remain a secret shame)

Oneshot: The Moon Also Burns

Summary: Megumi, usually cool and detached, reflects on Yuuji and their differences since they met as his noticeable absence has bred a gnawing grief. Filed Under: JJK

MultiChap: Gentle Into That Goodnight

Summary: Ash’s decision to check out in the New York Library is interrupted. This is the story after. Filed Under: Banana Fish

Meta Piece: The Intrinsic Dynamic of Bakugo and Midoriya

Summary: The brain rot is pervasive but is especially potent any time someone graces my inbox with a question because I get one shot to articulate it right. This prompt inspired one of my favorite contemplations thus far so thank you for asking, anon. A/N: ftr I welcome asks, I don’t bite 😬 Filed Under: My Hero Academia

FAVORITE ART CREATED

On all fronts, I hope to create more, but especially when it comes to art and cosplay. Both bring me as much joy as they do stress✨

Cosplay: Bakugo

I may have had better cosplays but Blasty Boy is near and dear to my heart.

Living In The World: (Last Minute) Yuta/Riko Shirt for JJK 0 Movie

I made a Venom "Mask" "Copy" joke that is only funny to me and have zero regrets.

Comp: (Last Minute) All Might Trading Card Prop

This could have turned out better but it inspired a few ideas for some unfinished cosplays and skits so I'm really proud of my messy little trading card.

Looking at this, who knows what next year will bring. But I guess I just wanted to say that, if you're still reading, thanks for being along for the ride.

[meowzfordayz]

MILESTONE 10.0 (masterlist)

Author’s Note: masterlist for MILESTONE 10.0 !! Click here for sfw only. Click here for 18+NSFW only.

Hashira x Reader, Tokito Muichiro x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~8,100

CW: 18+NSFW, ass!play, cream!pie, dark humor, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader, mast!bation, oral, overstimulation, spit

~faqs~

frequently ~sips your iced tea, “May I try some?”. Also frequently accidentally finishes it, “Sorry love! I’ll pour you more!” as you glare at him — gulping when you mutter, “That was the last of it.” The silver lining? He’s gotten very good at brewing your iced tea ~just right, because he immediately makes it up to you by beginning another batch.

brings extra mittens, and wears two scarves, with him on winter outings. Regardless of whether your fingers run hot or cold, he will coax you into building a snowman/snow fort with you, and you need hand protection for that! (the second scarf is for the snowman/fort flag)

likes cloud watching with you, albeit he usually falls asleep. “Do you like cloud watching, or do you like naptime?” you grin teasingly as he yawns into his shoulder, snorting when he crosses his arms with a huff, “Obviously cloud watching! Look! It’s a tree!” Following his gaze, your eyebrows scrunch, head shaking, “No way. That’s a lizard.”

has a compliments + gratitude jar that he adds to every so often. You don’t know where he keeps it. All you know is that whenever you’re feeling particularly disappointed, stressed, and/or let down, by the end of the day there’s a note—clearly in his handwriting—on your pillow reminding you that I’m grateful for how you doodle drawings of me when you’re bored (: (he keeps those in another jar); and I adore your sleepy morning stare <3; and You deserve the world! Stop putting up with their bullshit >:(. 

kisses you for every coin he finds (on the ground). If he’s alone when he finds one, then he makes sure to kiss you as soon as he’s with you again. When you’d asked him about his ~tradition, he’d shrugged, cheeks warming, “I just don’t want to take anything for granted.”

does his best to commit to a date—morning, noon, or night—a week in advance, weekly. Sometimes it’s a quick lunch, other times an entire day spent together. Whatever the case, his schedule revolves around ensuring he has enough physical time and mental and emotional energy to feel fully involved and present for your dates. He doesn’t neglect his responsibilities for you, per se: it’s more so that you are also a responsibility — that he happily and willingly chooses day after day after day.

whenever you listen to music, he simultaneously complains about how loud it is while absolutely adoring how happy and at ease you are. Similar to riding in a car with someone who’s blasting their favorite song, belting along, and giving zero fucks — it’s as endearing as it is headache inducing. If you attempt to lower the volume, then he immediately huffs and shakes his head, “It may be loud, but your happiness is louder.”

is almost offended that you’re as in love with him as he is with you. Make no mistake! He’s grateful your devotion runs as deeply as his, and appreciates how he can comfortably express just how thorough his affection for you is without fear of judgement or rejection. However, he does occasionally worry that, “Do you feel loved enough?” to which you raise a gentle eyebrow, voice firm yet empathetic, “I do, Zenitsu. I feel as loved as you feel, and I know I love you a lot.”

struggles to imagine anything hotter than you cumming as he bites into your shoulder. In fact, he’s starting to believe there isn’t anything hotter. It’s never a planned action, never a conscious decision, but his mouth on your skin, teeth grazing your goosebumps, cock thrusting erratically up into you as you sit atop his thighs, ankles locked behind his back, chests pressed together — how could he not nip at your clavicle? Lick along your jawline. Whimper into your throat as you clench around him. Muffle his groan with the crook of your neck as you moan lowly, orgasm crawling steadily from the tips of your toes to the lobes of your ears. “Don’t stop,” you demand hoarsely, fingernails digging into his biceps, “Don’t you dare stop.”

coaxes you into watching horror movies with him—in the dark, of course—because nothing beats how ferociously your nails dig into his bicep you nuzzle your nose into his bicep, begging him to Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off! He acquiesces immediately, and makes it up to you by reading aloud various Wikipedia articles about the actors involved (to reassure you that it was, in fact, fake). P.S. Your record is 47 minutes into “Psycho” aka when the ~real action begins.

is happy to spend an evening gaming together. Whether he’s playing with you, playing a different game in the same room as you, or resting his head on your lap as you play solo, he enjoys the comfortable, cozy atmosphere of you in your element (when you’re playing solo, card your fingers through his hair every so often, and he’ll positively fall asleep melt).

as boisterous as he can be, he absolutely respects your preference to ease into social situations. Before agreeing to outings, he makes sure you’ll know others attending as well; and if you don’t, then he makes sure to introduce and brag about you, sit next to you (i.e. restaurants and theaters), and/or check in on you (i.e. house parties and amusement parks).

favorite pastime is playing board games, card games, drawing games, video games—GAMES—with you. He keeps a running score of everything from Monopoly to Scrabble; Egyptian Ratslap to Kaboom; Super Mario Kart to Beat Saber — only the drawing games are a team effort. He’s highkey a sore loser, but also a stubborn loser, and will insist on, “Another round!” until you get annoyed/bored/tired.

maintains a cupboard full of snacks for you. If you even slightly hint at liking something, then he promptly buys a fuckton of that thing, stuffs it in the cupboard, and forgets about it. He’s motivated partially by dreading your hanger, but mostly by how excited and surprised you are whenever you open the cupboard. “Am I the best?” he grunts proudly. “Maybe,” you grin, eyes shining, crinkly bag clutched possessively in your hand, “Ask me after I’ve emptied the bag.”

birthday card doodles are your annual tradition, started because he wouldn’t shut up about how amazing his birthday card was when you first spontaneously doodled on it. Sometimes they’re detailed, other times vague, but he cherishes all of them equally — they’re the only paper he bothers organizing and storing in a plastic binder.

happily attends craft fairs, pop ups, and other artistic ventures with you. In particular, he counts down the days to holiday season, because—beside you—it truly feels like the most wonderful time of the year. He appreciates how thoughtful and resourceful you are, admires how you support local artists and/or home make gifts, and is quite possibly addicted to the bright joy radiating from your touch as you squeal over a new find. Is super proud (and teary eyed) whenever someone brags about something you’ve gifted them.

his favorite holiday activity, however, is Paper Week: a week long event of paper making! You refuse to use store bought wrapping paper, and instead save paper scraps throughout the year to make your own. Paper Week itself starts off juuust before holiday season, and he’s more than content to help. You’ve even discussed beginning an annual pop up, because you always end up with more paper than necessary.

rose petals. Specifically, rose petals sprinkled from the doorway to the bedroom, and on the bed itself. He’s aware of the inconvenience, the extravagance, but can’t get past their romance, their wholeheartedness. Plus, getting to caress the curve of your neck, discovering petals tangled in your hair, brushing a few stuck to your glistening skin, is—he believes—the highest honor. “I swear I’m eating a petal,” you grumble, legs wrapped around his waist, held in place by gentle, strong hands. “You smell beautiful,” is his soft response, cock thrusting in far enough to jostle the cohesion of your thoughts. “You feel beautiful,” as he knocks a low moan from your chest to your parted mouth, leaning forward. “So warm,” hips snapping unexpectedly, cock bullying its way through your slick, pulsing heat, his grip on your thighs tightening as you gasp, pussy clenching. “What was that darling?” he murmurs sweetly — knowingly. “Y-you,” you whimper, addictive throb in your abdomen slowing your tongue, “You feel so g-good.”

holds your hand before crossing the street, because if anything tragic were to occur, then at least he will have been holding your hand. Similarly, he’s mindful of his parting words to you: variations of I love you being his go to. About to hang up on him because you’re angry? He always manages to squeeze in We’ll figure this out. About to fall asleep because he’s exhausted? He never forgets to mumble Sweet dreams. About to be on your way somewhere for some time? He sends you off with Have fun, stay safe.

sponsors a wild tiger with you (has the certificate framed and everything), and participates in annual fundraisers hosted by wild cat sanctuaries. Last Valentine’s Day, he purchased and dedicated a heart (really just a chunk of meat) to you, which was then fed to your favorite leopard. “You’re disturbingly sweet,” you’d giggled, pecking his cheek as you rewatched the Instagram reel of your “heart” being devoured for the nth time, “Thank you so much!”

gifts you a journal for your third anniversary, but it’s already mostly full — mostly full of things you’ve said that made him smile/giggle/laugh. Of course, it isn’t a comprehensive, entirely accurate record, but it includes: inside jokes that you’d inevitably forgotten (until getting to read them again), witty retorts and quips that you’d figured he hadn’t heard (turns out he had), and an obnoxiously long section reserved for your puns-that-are-arguably-too-much-of-a-stretch-to-truly-be-punny.

secretly slips your cat treats throughout the day, because he’s determined to become the Ultimate Pet Dad™. Really though, he’s a teenie, tiny, quite a lot bit jealous of your connection — regardless of how often you reassure him that, “My cat is my cat. My boyfriend is my boyfriend. Now tell me, Obanai: are you my cat or my boyfriend?”

commissions matching shirts for you, himself, and Kaburamura. For Kaburamua: If lost, return to [y/n]. For himself: If lost, return to [y/n]. For you: I’m [y/n]. The only caveat? He refuses to ever actually wear his beyond the vicinity of his/your place.

firmly believes in going down on you first. You’re basically required to cum once, twice, three times (??) before he willingly surfaces from between your thighs, his smug grin smeared with spit, tongue flicking out to ~clean himself (spoiler alert: he’s just desperate for how you taste).

does his best to fall asleep after you — out of affection, protectiveness, and sheer competitiveness. The one time you thought he fell asleep first, he’d actually set an alarm to wake himself up an hour later (he does his best to wake up before you too, because how else is he supposed to take adorable photos of you drooling?).

blushes any and every time you compliment him. From winking playfully at him to outright telling him, “You’re wonderful,” he swears his cheeks are stained a permanent pink (of course, yours are stained too, “Hello lovely sweetheart,” being his favorite way to greet you).

researches elaborate recipes for your Friday date nights — oftentimes ending in spaghetti or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, because turns out preparing puffer fish isn’t fit for a novice chef… Not to mention your neighbor politely ringing your doorbell midway through the evening (they thought something was Seriously wrong, when in fact you were simply screaming as Tanjirou chased you with a spoonful of mystery sauce that, “I promise it’s edible!”).

if you’re comfortable doing so, then he’ll discuss your writing process/fanfics in general with you for however long you desire. He does his best to be an active listener, and playfully demands inspo credit whenever you end up borrowing/using his ideas/musings. In fact, he may or may not run a covert Tumblr to really support you, and cheekily becomes your “☀️ anon”. Of course, if you explicitly express discomfort with him interacting with your online content, then he’ll respect that boundary!

easily entertains ~disturbing conversations with you. From how far you could throw a baby to who could withstand being tortured better, few topics are off limits when it comes to picking each other’s brains. Occasionally, following particularly intense conversations, he’ll check in to ensure everything was taken with a grain of salt: “You know I’d never actually murder you, right? I love you. You’re my person,” and after you reassure him that I know you wouldn’t, Tan. I love you too, “But just for the record, I’d totally murder you before you could murder me.”

has to kiss you goodnight! If he forgets, then he’s visibly upset when he wakes up. “You okay?” you mumble drowsily, his uneasy expression slowly registering. “I forgot to kiss you,” he admits, eyes squeezed shut, fingers crinkling the top sheet, “Did you sleep alright?” With a soft sigh, you smile fondly, scooting closer to his scrunched nose, “I slept fine, Tan,” pecking his warm cheek, “You can always kiss me twice tonight instead.”

“Lovers dance when they’re feeling in love,” might be her favorite lyric, pulse stuttering warmly as she dramatically waltzes you around the kitchen; gaze brimming with devotion as she pretends to drop you; bright laughter spilling across the stovetop, prancing along the overhead light, caressing the flush of your skin; as you squeal loudly, “MITSURI!” Her palm presses firmly against your back, your head inches from the floor, body tilted in an admittedly impressive dip, “Yes, my love?” Melting in your exasperated huff as your face warms, lips so close you can taste the shine of her lipgloss, “You almost dropped me!” Promptly lifting you upright, forehead touching yours with unwavering certainty, “I would never!”

keeps a lonnng list of your book recommendations. Is she a slow(er) reader? Maybe. Does she intend to dwell in all the worlds you’ve visited? To fall in love with all the characters you’ve met? To giggle and sob and yell at pages once cherished by you, now passed on to her? Absolutely.

frequently wakes you up via orgasm. You’re utterly breathtaking—ethereal—in the morning, sunlight skimming your eyelashes, sheets tangled between your legs ~just so, mouth slightly parted in an adorable, sensual manner. “G’morning baby,” she grins cheekily, chin resting on your pelvic bone as you blink unsteadily, thighs trembling, “Feel good?” Cooing proudly when you nod, sleepy fingers curling into her hair as you mumble contently, “Feels great,” your eyes closing again, indulgent moan building in your lungs, “Why’d you stop?” The tip of her tongue flicking happily at your clit, thick murmur hot on your skin, “Don’t worry honey,” trailing wet kisses down your pretty folds, “Was only taking a moment to say hello.”

falls in love with you every time you ramble about your newest endeavor/interest. She’s already truly, madly, deeply in love with you, and getting to experience your: flurried hand gestures (as you open up Google Images to better explain yourself); how your eyes widen and glow whenever she nods (practically combusting if she asks a question); and the way you invite her to join you in your learning (i.e. painting with watercolors, juggling, and basic electrical work) — only cements her conviction that I’m in love with you!

bought you a fuck ton of flowers for MONTHS, because I think you’re cute, let’s go out! except you thought they were just You’re nice flowers. Not to mention, she actually grew them for you (buying ‘em was a lie heh). Turns out, all you needed was a note attached to said flowers, explicitly stating: I think you’re cute, let’s go out! “Why didn’t you ask me out sooner?!” you raise an eyebrow, cheeks warm, aforementioned note clutched between your fingers. “SOONER?!” she yelps, “I’ve been asking for WEEKS?!?!?!”

mirrors! Specifically, mirror seduction. Appreciation. Definitely comes up behind you in the bedroom while you’re staring at your reflection, strong arms resting themselves above your hips, teeth nipping at your nape. “My sexy baby,” with an adorable rasp, “Do you need a second opinion? I’d be happy to check you out,” her palms pressing lightly, lowering, fingertips teasing across your inner thigh. “Mitsuri, I’m getting dressed,” you mumble, head subconsciously tilting backward toward her heat. “Dressed?” she giggles, “I can help you undress,” fingers rubbing slowly, steadily against your crotch, “Undressing would certainly make this feel even better,” her knee nudging—spreading—your legs, smug grin tugging at her lips as you melt into her. “That’s it baby, let me take care of you, yeah? So fucking pretty looking at you like this.”

learns how to cook pho for you — the long way (as in, the broth takes forever). “What’s in this pot?” you sniff curiously, reaching for the lid. “NO!” she shouts, gently catching and restraining your wrist before you ruin your surprise, “IT’S FOOD!” You blink at her, amused glimmer in your eyes, “Food that takes… eight, nine, ten, eleven, noon… over six hours to cook?” She nods firmly, kissing the top of your hand before releasing it, “Please don’t look, or smell, or anything! It’s for you, for dinner.”

isn’t great at playing video games, but has a blast watching you game. Asks a fuckton of questions, researches lore and fanart, and replenishes drinks/snacks throughout the session. If you play online/multi (i.e. League of Legends/Overwatch/Valorant), then she highkey enjoys being on speaker. Maintains good team banter, talks shit like a pro, and gives you all the credit whenever you come in clutch, “Oh that wasn’t me guys — it’s my amazing, wonderful, talented partner playing!”

roleplay! She typically breaks character pretty soon into the scene, but thoroughly appreciates and adores the time and effort put into planning plot and costumes. Really, the costumes are what cause her to break character, because, “Baby, you’re so fucking hot!” jumps from her heart to her mouth before she remembers she’s supposed to be your professor. “Baby?” you feign confusion, back arching subtly to further present your tits, “It’s not too bad in here, actually. I’m not even sweating. Are you feeling okay, professor?” Obvious blush coloring her cheeks, she inhales deeply, stare raking greedily along your frame, “Of course. Thank you for your concern. I don’t know what came over me!” already imagining how delectable you’ll look sitting on her face, clit swollen against the tip of her tongue, thighs muffling her ability to hear your stuttering moans as you grind down eagerly.

destroys you in dodgeball. In fact, that’s how you met: intramural dodgeball at your local YMCA where she precisely and ~viciously hit you square in the face. Technically she was eliminated due to the No Headshots rule, but with how terribly she hid her giggling, you both knew that really she’d won. The fact that she nimbly avoided all your subsequent attempts to headshot her back? #wifey material

is witty and sharp when bantering, and keeps you on your toes with her innocent facade (in reality, she can be absolutely heartless — leaves no crumbs in a dissing battle), BUT immediately rebuts any and all of your attempts to self deprecate. In other words: she’ll laugh her ass off when you stub your toe, poke fun at you for putting on your shirt inside out (which she’ll conveniently remember to mention after you’ve left the house), and noticeably snort as you struggle to read a word on the menu The fuck is Meuniere?; but heaven and hell forbid you ever seriously think less of yourself. “I’m dumb,” countered with You can try again; “I’m fucking ugly,” parried by You mean fucking gorgeous; “Who could ever love me?” immediately debunked I do.

flirts with the baristas at your favorite cafe, but only as a tactic to get extra stamps on your Buy-10-Get-1-Free card. Slips bills into your pocket as she hugs you when she knows you have a long day ahead of you, later texting you Did you find my treat yet? Coffee on me xxoo. Of course, she also tries to help on the other end of the spectrum, discouraging you from drinking caffeine after 5pm, and occasionally threatening to start the next episode of your show — without you: I swear if you brew another pot of coffee, then I’ll watch this weekend’s episode… alone! (obviously, you can still enjoy it separately, but it’s not the same without her snarky, jaded commentary)

isn’t a fan at all of dogs, but tolerates yours because she’s head over heels for you. “tolerates” begins at the raw definition of the word, slowly but surely transitioning to “remembers their name” to “pats their head” to “asks to feed them a treat” to “doesn’t shudder when they lay down beside her”. Winning her affection’s a long term process, but both you and your dog are in it to win it (well, you’ve already won, but your dog’s determined to win too).

drapes herself over your shoulders whenever you play guitar/piano. “Shinobu,” you grunt, not unkindly, “Kind of difficult to move my arms.” With an unconcerned giggle, she kisses the side of your head, fingers dancing across your wrists, “My talented lover, who needs arms to play guitar/piano?” I do you grumble to yourself, resigned to your fate Oh well.

library and museum dates! She’s not a huge fan of either, but their quiet atmospheres, private nooks, and plethora of creativity and knowledge are alluring/entertaining enough. Besides, it’s always amusing to watch you check out 10+ books, stubbornly attempting to carry them without her help (if you drop a couple and she picks them up, then neither of you mention it).

assuming you’ve both left the nest aka moved out, she mails you monthly care packages. Thus far, you’ve received: a really shiny penny (I found it heads up, and figured I’d send a little luck your way <3); a Dunkin gift card (Regifting this to you. Feel free to use it or regift it yourself <3); movie tickets (I know you’ve been meaning to watch this. Wish I could be there with you <3); and sooo many letters. Some of the letters are brief: I miss you <3, I love you <3, and You suck, thanks for being the best <3. Some are much longer (usually when you’ve been too busy to call each other). You can even tell when she’s written something over the course of multiple days — the pen changing colors, certain sentences more legible than others, topics abruptly ending and beginning.

is your biggest fan as well as your harshest critic (besides, yanno, yourself). She doesn’t intend to be cruel, and believes ~tough love is a flimsy justification for lack of empathy. However, sometimes, “That was stupid,” is all she can really say. In other words: she’s definitely the type to laugh when you trip over your own two feet — while simultaneously reaching down to help you up.

has digital AND physical albums solely dedicated to ~awkward photos of you. Drool in your sleep? She’s got a photo. Mid sneeze? She’s got a photo. Pained expression after dropping something on your foot? She’s got a photo. Cringe Halloween costume(s)? She’s got photos. Not above using them to blackmail you (for playful/petty purposes), and dreads the day you finally shed any lingering embarrassment from your childhood/adolescence.

calls you while you’re asleep (he ensures your ringer’s off first), because he enjoys leaving voicemails for you to listen to in the morning, or whenever you get to them. His after hours ponderings of I truly am the luckiest man and How are you so heart aching, in the best of ways? and I wish there was something beyond forever — all recorded in the stillness of 2am, for your ears only (mind you, he’s literally in bed beside you).

writes thank you notes for all the little and big things you do. He’s terrified of accidentally taking you for granted, and enjoys the mindfulness of getting to appreciate and recognize you. They’re typically short and sweet, but he’s certainly labored over longer ones too (he insists you keep them in a jar, which mysteriously empties itself on the eve of your birthday every year, magically reappearing as a collage aka your birthday card the next day).

encourages communication and experimentation in the bedroom. He’s not necessarily comfortable with trying ~everything, but he strives to nurture a safe space for his and your sexual fantasies and needs. A frequently revisited favorite of his is edging: something about the pulse of your clit on his tongue as you near your orgasm, knowing your head’s tilted backward, throat tight and anticipatory, spilling into a frayed, frenzied whine when he suddenly forces your ass forward—decidedly ruining your pleasure—dark satisfaction welling in his lower belly at the needy, hopeless undulations of your hips.

insists that you take fit pics for him, daily, even when he’s literally sitting on the bed watching you get dressed. After all, how else is he supposed to get content for his Instagram? Isn’t she looking absolutely stunning today?! 😍👑 and I wouldn’t have worn that shirt with those pants, but of course she can pull it off! 🤤🔥 and I present to you, the love of my life! 💘 (if you’re uncomfortable with him posting them, then he still cherishes them in the privacy of his own camera roll)

always lets you have the final bite of whatever he’s eating — especially when you initially insist that I’m not hungry. “Are you sure?” you ask, mouth already parting as he raises his fry toward you, “It’s your last fry.” Smiling brightly, he nods eagerly, “Of course!” like there’s no way in heaven or hell that he’d not offer you his last fry.

is enthralled by the pretty clench of your asshole whenever he fucks you from behind. Spit pools on the tip of his tongue, dripping messily onto your lower back, teasing thumb smearing across your skin, shoulders shuddering as you moan, “K-kyo.” Hm? he hums innocently, other hand tight on your pelvis, “What do you want, sweetheart?” Wailing softly, you push your hips firmly against his taut muscles, spine arching in a desperate attempt to unravel his control, “My ass, Kyo, please.” A delighted chuckle rumbles in his chest, thumb grazing your glistening rosebud, “Your ass, sweetheart? You want me to touch you here?”

matches your enthusiasm whenever, wherever, whatever! Excited for a night out? He’s thrilled to help you choose your outfit, research restaurants, and encourages you to order that additional appetizer that, “I don’t need it, Kyo,” as he shakes his head determinedly, “You deserve it!” In the mood for a night in? He’s a Snack God™️, crafting delicious mocktails from scratch, experimenting with popcorn toppings, and putting together an exquisite charcuterie board. You get to choose the activity/entertainment, because he’s genuinely down for anything, so long as you’re grinning and giggling (sobbing’s ~acceptable when watching something emotional).

spontaneous outings! Not too spontaneous because he doesn’t intend to inappropriately inconvenience you, but he definitely keeps meticulous track of your schedule (and your stress levels!) so he can plan the perfect stargazing evening, beach afternoon, spa day (couple’s massages are cheaper than going individually!) — you name it! Doesn’t take you anywhere super fancy without warning (your comfort’s his priority), but is an expert at discreetly packing extra clothing/shoes for you depending on the adventure — just in case!

has a sixth sense for what type of tea you need after returning home from your day. Sixth sense as in, hands you a mug at the right temperature with the right tea (that you often didn’t even realize you needed) as soon as you take off your shoes. Of course, his sixth sense also includes knowing when you’re not immediately in the mood for tea (he’ll prepare it while you’re showering), as well as knowing when you simply need a glass of water, a reassuring kiss on the cheek, and/or time to yourself before he finally tugs you into a quiet embrace, voice muffled by your hair You are phenomenal.

has yet to master baking the macaron, but keeps trying every year (for your birthday). He’s only a tad envious of how gorgeous and delicious yours are, aaand also refuses your offers of assistance and tips. “Kyo, honey, are you sure you-” “I am ready, my love! In approximately four hours, you shall have the most perfect macarons to munch on!” And in approximately four hours, you have oddly shaped (clearly he didn’t bother piping them), slightly flat (he probably left them resting for too long), and soggy (a lot of filling) macarons — to munch on. “They defeated me,” he declares, eyebrows furrowed. “You can try again tomorrow,” you smile softly, fond giggles restrained for the sake of his pride. “And what do we do with these?” he mumbles. “I’ll bring them in to work,” you nudge his shoulder, eyes twinkling, “They won’t go to waste. I promise.”

is a huge fan of chicken fights (typically fought in waist deep water; in teams of two; one person sits on the other’s shoulders; with the goal of knocking the opposing pair over). Partnering with him is practically a guaranteed win, regardless of how steady you are up top, because he’s an immovable base (and extremely competitive).

if you’re horny and he’s… well… tired, then he still encourages you to sit on his face. Too tired to fuck ≠ too tired to pleasure you. Besides, riding his tongue isn’t as involved as, say, fingering you, with generally easier clean up as well (unless he gets you to squirt, in which case, neither method is particularly contained). “Don’t worry about me, Kyo. I know how to get myself off,” you huff cutely, thumbing the waistband of your panties. “I know you do! But I really would not mind bringing you to one or two orgasms,” he counters earnestly, tongue poking out. Chewing at your bottom lip, you press your tits against his bicep, eyelashes fluttering, “You’re sure you don’t mind being my sex toy?” Groaning lowly, his bright stare darkens, fatigue receding to the edges of his vision at your coy tone, “I do not mind in the slightest!” mouth curving confidently, “I hope you can handle more than one or two orgasms.” “Let’s see if you can stay awake for three,” you wink, loud squeal filling the bedroom as he promptly tugs you upward, cock twitching at the feel of your thighs warm and snug around his head.

could spend an entire arcade outing playing air hockey. If your shoulder isn’t sore by closing time, then was it even a successful arcade outing? He’ll tag along (and enjoy) everything else the arcade has to offer as well, but literally sweating as the score bounces from 1-2, 3-4, 6-5, and the dreaded 6-6 is his true element. That being said, if you’re there to win tickets and bring home prizes, then he’s thoroughly adamant about sticking to skee ball (he’s highkey a pro).

checks in on you when your family/friends are going through rough patches in their own lives. His reasoning? You take care of everyone, and he gets to take care of you. He doesn’t infantilize you, nor does he encourage you to neglect yourself for others, but if you’re going to give your all for your loved ones, then he’s certainly going to give his all for you (his loved one).

“Kyo…” you raise an eyebrow, lips pursed, whipped cream can clutched in your hand, “Are you sure about this? Couldn’t you get like, a UTI?” Laughing loudly, he flexes his cock, easy grin countering the Show off roll of your eyes, “I can handle a little sugar!” Pouting slightly, you angle the tip of the can downward, tone sultry as you murmur, “Are you saying I’m only a little sweet?” Frowning immediately, he reaches for your wrist, gaze tender and provoking as he corrects you, “You are perfect,” smirking at your adorable shriek as he presses on your fingers, activating the spraying mechanism. “You made a mess!” you squeal, eyes widening at the display of whipped cream dripping from his groin to his balls, shaft sloppily hidden by the already melting substance. “What a shame,” he declares coyly, winking exaggeratedly, “If only there was someone around to aid me in my dilemma!”

takes a little too long to put sunscreen on your back at the beach. You appreciate his care and concern, aaand you also lowkey worry about looking like someone spilled plain yogurt on you. “Is it all rubbed in?” you huff, struggling to glance over your shoulder at his disturbingly focused expression. “Not quite!” he murmurs, palms smooth and strong along your skin, almost unbalancing you as he presses firmly. “As much as I’m grateful I won’t get sunburnt, I really think you’ve applied enough,” you swivel around, eyebrows pinched impatiently. His consequent pout almost makes you feel badly… until you take the sunscreen bottle from his hands, frown deepening, “How much did you use?! I swear it’s half empty?! I JUST BOUGHT THIS?!”

enjoys waiting on you, your sister, and (your) friends. Going to a movie? He insists on you all coming home afterwards, because he’s excited to cook Japanese cuisine for everyone, “Why spend money eating out when you can have an even better experience at home?” He respects your space and time with them (it gives him a fighting chance to catch up on the book he’s reading), and secretly adores when you playfully call him Waiter!

texts you whenever he sees something you might like. Yes or no? and Do you need this/these? and Reminds me of you! are frequently received messages of yours (from him), but you have to be careful! If you say Yes or Yup or Ooh! (synonyms included), then it’s practically guaranteed that he’ll buy it/them for you. He isn’t necessarily impulsive or wasteful, but he keeps tabs on how many pairs of your socks have holes in them, how long it’s been since you last treated yourself, and remembers anything you mention in passing.

turns slamming doors in the heat of an argument into a competition, typically resulting in: broken doors, sheepish laughter, and mutual apologies. Maybe it’s dysfunctional, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, you’ve both become quite handy around the house — at least for fixing hinges and basic woodwork.

in the winter he pelts you with snowballs, and in the spring? he tucks blossoming flowers behind your ear (don’t worry, he doesn’t pluck them — he keeps an eye out for already snapped stems). He doesn’t mean to give you whiplash with his varying degrees of affection: he’s just as soft as he is stubborn, as playful as he is devious, as in love as he is difficult.

has burned dinner on multiple occasions due to being distracted by your Fucking sexy ass. And it’s difficult to form a coherent retort when he’s got your hips pressed against the counter, calloused hands gripping and spreading your asscheeks, face buried in your cunt. “Who needs dinner?” he growls, tongue sliding leisurely between your folds, “When they’ve got your pussy?” Low moans vibrate upward toward your clit, voice deepening as he demands, “But nobody gets your pussy,” abruptly pulling away, chin shiny with your slick, “Nobody ‘cept me,” eyes narrowing greedily as you groan loudly, grinding backward in search of his delicious friction, “Right?”

deep cleans the house every Sunday. From the bathroom to the stove, the floors to all flat surfaces (i.e. desks, shelving, and tables), the windowsills to baseboards (aka the fancy trim bordering the bottom of the walls) — he understands how quickly dust, debris, and clutter builds up, and believes cherishing what you cherish (your home) is simply another way to express his affection and devotion to you. Of course, you’re technically welcome to join him on his cleaning spree(s), but he often strongly insists, “Let me do this for you.”

serves you breakfast/lunch/dinner first. It’s a little gesture, and you usually wait for him before you begin eating anyway, but the consideration behind his prioritizing squeezes your heart (endearingly) anyway. “I thought you were hungry? Eat!” he scoffs, eyes glimmering as you inhale the steam rising from your bowl. “But Nemi,” you scowl, arms crossing, “Shouldn’t I wait for the chef?” Snorting exasperatedly, he gestures toward you, shaking his head, “The chef would be honored if you just. Fucking. Ate.” And who are you to deny the chef?

thoroughly appreciates your filthy mouth, but enjoys brat taming you even more. “S-shit,” you gasp, jaw clenching as his thumb presses casually into your inner thigh. “What was that?” he mutters, glare narrowing, “Did I give you permission to swear?” “Since when do I need fucking permission to- F-fuck!”“ you exclaim, biting at your tongue as he pinches your skin, pain lingering promisingly. "Keep this up, and you won’t be walking tomorrow,” he states nonchalantly, hands strong on your knees, parting your legs lewdly. “N-nemi,” you whimper, heat flooding your chest as he stares intently. “Hm?” he drawls, chin grazing your crotch as he leans in smirking, “I know you like this, being spread nice and pretty for me.”

actions speak louder than words, and he’s all about preparing breakfast for you. (genuinely pouts whenever you make it to the kitchen before him) Initially, you eat his breakfasts out of… endearment (is a hard boiled egg and a soggy slice of toast really breakfast?), but at least with him constantly cooking there’s improvement — significantly. The first morning he presents you with eggs benedict, you almost tear up.

feels awkward telling you, “I love you,” despite that being wholly and entirely how he feels, and is self aware of this. Makes up for it—not that he has to make up for anything—by creating cheesy playlists for you, learning basic bicycle maintenance, and ensuring your pencils are always sharpened/your pens are always refilled. If you pretend to fall asleep, then you’ll ~eventually get to hear his soft, romantic ponderings — assuming you can fake sleep until ~3am.

is obsessed with your nipples. Loves pressing his tongue flat against them; loves swirling his tongue around them; loves sucking softly, teasingly, roughly on them; loves nipping gently at them. He can’t help himself! They’re just so pretty and sensitive: enticing him to pinch, pull, and twist them — smack and clamp them (assuming you’re into that). His favorite pastime is attempting to beat his previous record of how many unique noises he can coax out of you, and if he ends up cumming from grinding against your thigh as he doles out his ministrations, then he simply begins all over again.

trusts you with his 2am tears. He never verbalizes how desperately he needs you, never speaks the pain of his soul, but presses it into the softness of your skin as he clings to your side, forehead firm against your shoulder, eyebrows scrunched as though the tension’ll stop his tears from falling. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, tone kept painstakingly flat. “I love you,” you answer matter of factly, fingers gentle in his hair, ankles intertwined, acutely aware of how he’s inching you toward the edge of the mattress with every intermittent shudder — knowing he’ll catch you should he ever accidentally nudge you off.

takes you someplace new to watch the sunset at the end of every month. At this point, you’re driving pretty far to find new spots, but he lowkey wouldn’t mind if your monthly sunset searches turned into long weekend road trips.

grabs your ass as you ride him/slaps your ass as he fucks you. Rarely hard (not really meant as impact play): he simply adores how plush and sensual the rippling of your body feels. Has definitely drooled watching your tits bounce while kneading your asscheeks, eyes narrowed in flushed awe at how perfect and fuckable you look. Has also definitely gotten distracted while fucking you from behind; slapping one cheek then the other then back to the first, mesmerized by their jiggle; spurred on by your breathless exclamations of Fuck and G-giyuu and Shit! “Why’d you stop?” you whine, hand reaching behind you to grip his thigh, urging him to continue thrusting. “Your fault,” he grunts lowly, resisting the impulse to pull out completely so he can nip at your thighs, “I can’t wait to kiss your pretty thighs. Gonna make them so wet you’ll be begging for me to clean ‘em up.”

content to wait hours as long as necessary for you to get ready for a fancy evening out. He’ll read a book, do household chores, give his opinion on This or That, colors, and Which shoes? — whatever is required of him. But he won’t rush you. He’ll never ask Are you almost ready?, never remark that Our reservation’s for 7pm, and it’s currently 6:45pm, never sigh or pace or groan exaggeratedly. He’s timed you once—per your request—and you really didn’t take too long. Maybe he’s whipped, or maybe he simply values your comfort and safety; your ease and joy; your effort and attention to detail. Spoiler alert: it’s the latter option.

doesn’t ever think to buy you flowers, but often thinks to pick ‘em for you on his way home. He rarely knows what they are (after all, he’s usually repurposing them from their fallen positions on sidewalks and front yards), but he knows how they feel (soft, the expanse of your back); how they smell (fragrant, natural, the tangle of your hair); how they look (beautiful, vibrant, your eyes when you tell him I love you).

as wet and perfect as your pussy feels, he knows how much you adore your One more please orgasm, and it’s admittedly difficult for him to give you one more with his cock right after cumming. His solution? Cumming on your tits. “Fucking dirty slut,” he murmurs, face flushed, abs flexed, cock releasing a messy trail between your tits, smearing down your stomach, dribbling onto your throbbing clit. “Yeah?” he hums, fingers pressing firmly into your hips, restraining their undulations, “Greedy babygirl, my filthy whore wants another, doesn’t she?” Grinning when you whine loudly, nodding rapidly, rivulets of cum marking your skin as you wriggle needily, “Another! Please. One more p-please!” And he doesn’t ever deny you, guiding your eager fingers to your slick folds Touch yourself babygirl, his own fingertips pinching, pulling, tugging, twisting at your nipples, sloppy and determined.

as flamboyant and flashy as his reputation paints him, he’s also so. Fricking. Soft. Whenever you return home from a frustrating, seemingly endless day at work, you get the best of both worlds: someone who adores your venting, and hypes you up higher and higher as you get sassier and harsher (within reason, of course); as well as someone who’s happy to cook you dinner, prepare a bubble bath, put on your favorite show — whatever helps melt the stress and headache of your day (if you let him join you in the tub, then he’s content to massage your feet, wash your hair, and give you a bubble beard… or partake in less innocent behavior *wink wink* *nudge nudge* — again, whatever helps).

is a serial offender of I-Watched-The-Next-Episode-Without-You. If it’s a show you’re reeeally invested in, then he just barely restrains himself, but he’s definitely slept on the couch for a few hours aka until you take pity on him more than once for his betrayal(s).

yes he’s a sex god, and yes his favorite moments are when you end up laughing together, mid thrust. Maybe it’s the playful glow of your stare, stray hairs framing your joyful expression as you ride him; maybe it’s the addicting warmth of your cunt, teasing low groans from his chest with every strategic clench; maybe it’s the glistening sweat sliding slowly between your breasts, salty on his tongue as he suddenly crunches upward, lapping sloppily at your skin, eyes narrowing as his cock sinks deeper with the abrupt movement, strangled gasp parting your lips. Whatever it is, he knows he’s infinitely in love with you as you smack his shoulders, “Tengen!” huffing, “You’re. Too. Big!” dissolving into laughter as he immediately retorts, “I know you are, but what am I?” (albeit, he does lift you ever so slightly to relieve the pressure of his Big Cock™)

favorite pastime is verbally sparring with you, except you trade compliments instead of insults, and whoever reacts first loses. “You’re the light of my life,” you wink as he stares blankly at you. “And you make every morning better than the previous,” he drawls smoothly, huffing at your indifferent expression. “I swear your biceps are even bigger than I remember,” you gasp exaggeratedly, eyelashes fluttering. TRULY?! he almost exclaims, corner of his mouth twitching as he swallows his pride. “I SAW YOU TWITCH!” “YOU DID NOT!” “I TOTALLY DID!” “DID NOT!” “LOSER!” “AM NOT!”

enjoys carrying you in public (with your consent, of course). He may or may not intentionally take you on suuuper long hikes, “It should only take an hour, I’ve done this trail before,” visibly preening when you finally cave and beg for a piggyback ride. “Piggyback ride?” he scoffs playfully, “What are these?” flexing his arms, “Chopped liver?” before scooping you up, cradling your sweaty, tired body against his hardly exerted chest. “You’re a liar,” you mumble, eyes closing with the steady lull of his pace, “Only an hour my ass.”

is a huge fan of remote controlled vibrators. “Let’s go out tonight?” with a crooked smirk is his code for Are you in the mood to play? “Hm, with dessert!” is your—admittedly cheesy—answer when you’re game; “Okay, but no dessert for me,” when you’re uninterested. Usually ends in car sex before even making it home, because while he’s technically sober, he’s also definitely intoxicated by your low whimpers, adorable wriggling, and pained—in the best way—begging of Tengen and Tengen, please and Take me home and fuck me, or I will excuse myself and get myself off in the bathroom (if you follow through with your latter threat, then he most certainly joins you; locking himself in a stall with you, effortlessly lifting your leg via the crook of your knee; thick, practiced fingers roughly tugging aside your thong, slipping eagerly into your squelching cunt).

L O V E S yard sale hopping with you! Need a new bedroom mirror totally innocent aHEM? He’s up at 8am preparing breakfast, because Fuel for thought! aka fuel for yard sales! Read all your books and ready for new (literary) adventures? He’s up at 8am scouring local neighborhood chats, social medias, and websites; a paper map on the kitchen table with various x’s marking supposed locations of Take-a-Book-Leave-a-Book ~libraries. Itching to go outside without a firm plan in mind? He’s up at 8am putting together a portable picnic, because what’s weekend wandering without a romantic respite?

a very patient, appropriately enthusiastic listener. “Do you want emotional affirmation, a hug, or advice?” is his go to line (refined over time, trial, and error), and he excels at giving all three. From That sucks! to What the fuck?!; from a quick, engulfing embrace to an indefinite, quiet cuddle fest; from brainstorming solutions to encouraging you to assert and advocate for yourself — he’s confident and supportive.

appreciates rough mirror breaking sex, and cherishes making love. He doesn’t care how cheesy it is: he definitely cums thrusting languidly into your pussy, soft gaze stripped of its usual ego as he trembles against you, skin sticking warm and familiar. Only you know the texture of his soul; its peaks and crevices; how it shudders and sways. Only you hear the disbelief—the gratitude—beneath his groan as he smatters kisses along your clavicle, intimate, knowing hand dipping between your thighs to ensure your pleasure.

[mayhaps-a-blog]

Ysalamir!

I am loving the ysalamir content I see, but I find it curious that so many people seem to default to giving them cat behavior. Cats are adorable, and I love them, but as someone who also adores reptiles, I’d love to see more ysalamir that are just big, fat lizards!

So what does lizard behavior look like?

I admit, I’ve spent more time with snakes than with lizards. But I’ve dealt with some, so here’s what I’ve got:

(This got... so long. Enjoy!)

Reptiles are stupid. Let’s be honest, folks, there is not much going on up in that little head of theirs. They are primarily driven by food, but many lizards may fail to recognize food if it doesn’t look and behave like what they expect.

However, reptiles are also creatures of routine: lights at night, unfamiliar handlers, unfamiliar surroundings can all be highly stressful!

Reptiles can also be curious, and may dig or escape enclosures, then run and hide.

Reptiles generally do not play the same way mammals do. They may enjoy exploring new objects in their enclosure, new scents, and new structures, but likely won’t chase after toys the way cats do.

Reptiles are cold-blooded, which means they cannot regulate their own temperature – instead, they must move to warmer places to warm up, or colder places to cool down. They’ll often find a nice, warm rock or other sunlit surface to just sit and bask.

Reptiles grow sluggish when too cold (or too hot). They move less, they eat less, they shed less often. Lizards that are too hot may take positions (standing up) to maximize airflow, find a cool place to sit, or look for water (and sit in it).

Reptiles don’t tend to see people as friends. People are either 1) large potential predators; run! Hide! Fight! 2) A Big Moving Thing that may hold food! Or might be food? Yay! Food! 3) A Big Warm Rock that moves sometimes. 

Reptiles don’t generally like to be pet, but if habituated to people, likely don’t mind being pet either. Some individuals may enjoy the warmth or interaction; others may prefer not to be touched.

When lizards are stressed or spooked, they may: hiss, puff up and look big, head-bob or display dewlaps, bite at nearby targets, piss or defecate (on the offender, if possible), freeze and/or attempt to run (very fast and will jump off tall objects), attempt to hide (in small cracks they can squeeze into), etc.

Most lizard species can drop their tail if threatened or stressed. These do grow back eventually!

Lizards shed in patches, which they may rub or tear off over a period of a week or two. Don’t pull on the shed - it can tear the skin, and some animals may not wish to be handled at all. Humidity is important as it helps loosen the shed; if patches remain (a bad shed) they may need to be removed manually.

Before shedding the head, lizards shed their eye scales, which leaves them vulnerable with limited eyesight for a few days. They tend to be very skittish.

Males may be more aggressive during mating season, a few months out of the year. Females may be more passive. Some species don’t eat during this time and change their behavior to find or attract mates.

Sick reptiles generally appear lethargic. They may not eat or respond to stimuli.

Like most animals, lizard behavior is highly individual. One paper describes an iguana that sat by the cage door and raised its head for scratches, while another sat above the door and slapped researchers with its tail!

Notably, most lizards are carnivores, but ysalamir are commonly depicted like iguanas, which are herbivores, and have different behaviors. Since they don’t need to chase prey, they tend to be sluggish and spend a lot of time just sitting around.