#stranger things science camp

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Science Camp Review

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into the Fire

Synopsis: It's the Summer of 1985, and Dustin is at Camp Know Where, eager to put his knowledge of science and mathematics to work. However, things take a turn for the worse when a mysterious stalker shows up and counselors begin disappearing. Now Dustin is in a race against time to figure out who the culprit is before the camp is closed for good........

Observations:

This is what I'm talking about: Here is a comic that takes certain elements from the show that were given little to no screentime, and proceeds to expand on them in a meaningful way. We get to see what Dustin did during his time at Summer Camp, as well as the circumstances behind meeting Suzie and developing their relationship. We also get an intriguing mystery that pays direct homage to the first Friday the 13th movie while also being its own story. And it's all from Dustin's POV. Yay! 😊

I know I usually wait until the end of my reviews to say whether I'd recommend a comic/tie-in book, but this time I'm giving that opinion early: This comic is a personal favorite, and I strongly recommend checking it out.

The comics I tend to enjoy more (i.e. Zombie Boys, Tomb of Ybwen, Winter Special, The Other Side, Dungeons & Dragons, etc) are ones that either focus on the main characters and their dilemmas, or take place in-between seasons to paint a picture of what was going on during those periods of time. Will's week in the Upside Down, for instance, is something I wanted to see for years, which is why I was happy they wrote a comic focusing exclusively on his POV during the events of season 1. Same thing goes for Dustin and his time at Camp Know Where: Even if it doesn't play an important role in the main arc, it's nice seeing the writers take an obscure event and expand on it so that it could fit into the continuity of the show. I wish they would do this more often instead of writing comics that either focus on characters nobody cares about (Troy and James from The Bully) or introducing brand new characters who will play no part on the show (Francine and Ricky from Six and Into The Fire).

It's nice seeing Dustin embrace his intellect at camp, as well as demonstrating other qualities that make him lovable on the show: His compassion for others, his awkwardness around girls, his bravery, his imagination, and so on. His continuing character development is a joy to watch: From being able to stand up to the bullies at the beginning of the comic.....

...to befriending Steven and getting him to come out of his shell.....

...to crafting his own D&D Campaign as Dungeon Master (something Mike's usually been in charge of in the past) and drawing on his own experiences to make it a fun adventure....

....to meeting Suzie at camp and bonding with her (despite a few awkward moments beforehand)....

....to even forming a party to take on the culprit.

Contrary to what the camp counselors say about the kids at the beginning, Dustin's never been interested in gaining knowledge to elevate his popularity, but because he's genuinely interested in topics that fascinate him. He's also someone with a strong moral compass and believes in doing the right thing even when it's tough. All of which works when he's the one leading the mission to root out the culprit who's causing problems at the camp.

Speaking of which, as mentioned earlier, the main conflict centers around an insidious figure who specifically targets camp counselors:

The mystery is taken straight from the first Friday the 13th movie, with a few plot elements changed around. There's even a tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie in the comic:

I won't give away the identity of the culprit or their motivations in case people want to read this comic for themselves, but I will say I was satisfied with how it ended.

Something else I liked was how they wrote the bullies. Early on, the counselors remark that since a lot of the kids coming to this camp are nerds, this is their first time getting to be on top of the social pyramid. Two of those kids (Trevor and Dean) act antagonistic towards Dustin and Steven initially, and it's their goading that leads Dustin to create his own D&D Campaign to spite them. However, to Dustin's surprise, they actually express interest in wanting to play his campaign because they secretly love the game and are implied to be outcasts back at home who are looking for friends who share their interests.

On top of that, when push comes to shove and there's a real danger of the camp being shut-down because of the attacks on counselors, Trevor and Dean willingly join up with Dustin to help track down the culprit, showing they care as much about the camp as Dustin does. It's small, but it gives some depth to them, and it's a nice subversion of the one-dimensional bullies from the show (*cough* Angela *cough*).

Suzie also gets her time to shine in this comic. They introduce her as being shy and awkward around Dustin when they first meet, but once they get to know each other, she becomes fiercely supportive of him and helps rally the other campers around Dustin. Their interactions in the comic are sweet, and they thankfully avoid using the cringe-inducing nicknames of Dusty-bun and Suzie-poo 😖. We also get to see what inspired the duet they sing in the season 3 finale:

I'm curious if the Duffer Brothers will bring back Suzie for season 5, and if she'll finally find out about the Upside Down. In the past, she's usually made brief appearances where she acts as a plot-device to give the characters vital information (Planck's Constant in season 3, or the coordinates to Dr. Owen's silo in season 4) while being left in the dark about what's really going on. I get the feeling she might serve that role again in the final season, but I'd be a lot more interested if they expanded her character beyond that role, and either have her integrate with the Party and get to know the other main characters better, or give her more depth beyond being Dustin's smart girlfriend and having a stereotypical Mormon upbringing.

As for Dustin, I don't know if he and Suzie are intended to be endgame or not. It could go either way. It depends on whether or not Suzie is clued into everything, or if Dustin even survives (I know people keep saying the Duffer Brothers don't have the guts to kill off their main characters, but considering it's the last season and they need to keep the stakes high, I am betting on several main characters biting the dust before it's over).

On a final note, I liked how the comic highlighted Dustin's relationship with Steve and why it's important to him:

If Dustin ends up dead in season 5, the emotional fallout from Steve is going to be devastating. Same for Dustin if Steve dies (which A LOT of fans have been predicting for years now ☹️.)

It all depends on what happens in season 5.

[353dcys]

love the thought of mike and el being secret haters (together)

they get home after a long event and it’s silence until el finally puts her purse down and says “did you SEE her dress?” “oh YEAH totally inappropriate. might as well worn a sign that says i dated the groom”

[zannolin]

attending a potentially haunted summer camp and solving mysteries whilst engaging in an ill-fated summer fling while the eventual end of the season and return to the crushing realities of our everyday lives looms over us all could fix me, i think

[jonathanbyersphd]

They skipped to 2 days later in s4 because watching Steve pull Dustin away from Eddie’s dead body would’ve been too emotionally devastating 😊

[gayofthefae]

@micuko It's true; they make a point of every character in a relationship express current or past attraction to at least one other person, with the exceptions of Mike and Will.

Hop's ex-wife and the librarian, Lonnie and Bob, Phoebe Cates, Max, Ralph Macchio, Robin, Tammy Thompson, Steve and Tom Cruise, Halloween party girl dressed as KISS

Even Karen and Carol have Billy, and ERICA makes her action figures make out! EV.ERY.ONE. (except Murry, shoutout aroace or gay king)

Not only does he not express attraction to girls - he expresses repeated confusion at the idea

- but they go out of their way to make him the odd one out by making sure that everyone else does.

(Well, not the odd one out. The canonically gay guy also expresses 0 attraction to girls and repeated confusion at the idea)

Mike has never shown attraction towards girls, we have the rest of the gang mentioning girls, female celebs etc, but Mike and Will never do that. So yes I think it's fairly obvious Mike is a closeted gay boy in the 80s.

[irondadfics]

Hi so I've been trying to find this fic where peter is coming back from a science camp or something driving one of Tony's cars and he gets in a car accident and thinks tony will be more worried about the car and a bystander comes up to him and ask if he's OK and if he can call anyone and he calls tony and that's about all I remember

(I would so appreciate it if you found this for me) <3

this is for you. Enjoy!

Nothing So Valuable by JAWorley

"Why don't you call your dad? Your dad can't be too mad. Insurance will pay for this. If it was my son in a crash I'd just be glad that he's ok," the stranger says. As they stand on the side of the highway, Peter thinks that he really does need to call Mr. Stark and describe the destruction of his expensive car, there's no way around that. But it's not as easy as the man said, because Mr. Stark isn't his dad, as much as Peter would like that. Therefore Mr. Stark can be as mad at Peter as he wants to. OR Peter crashes Tony's car, but when Tony shows up, Peter realizes some things that he hadn't understood before.

[strangerquinns]

Deadly Reunion | Chapter 4  

Eddie Munson x female!reader // a stranger things apocalypse au

summary: You and Eddie have been best friends since childhood. But when the outbreak happened five years ago, you were torn from one another in the chaos. but now you’re left alone, after your group was killed by another radical crew, leaving you to seek out what was once home. // zombie apocalypse Hawkins set in 1993

warnings: angst + adult themes w/ descriptions of violence, blood, torture + other zombie apocalypse related issues

word count: 2.5k+

⪻ previous chapter | next chapter ⪼ | stranger things masterlist

Eddie’s arms tightened around you as he held you close against his frame. As your arms did the same, you could feel him shaking within your arms. You weren��t sure if it was the shock or excitement of him seeing you. But you knew that your mind and body couldn’t catch up with what was happening. After the long, tiring, and deadly journey to get back to Hawkins – you were finally back with him. The last piece of your old life that seemed to be left after all these years.

After a few moments, Eddie pulled back and grasped each side of your face. The rough calloused feel of his palms against your sun-kissed skin was oddly comforting. Your eyes closed for a few seconds, causing stray tears to cascade down your cheeks before they opened again. Staring intensely into his large doe eyes.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe it,” Eddie spoke, even with the bandana tied across his face, it was obvious to see him smiling. Especially with his dark eyes sparkling with a life that had been missing for a while.

“Fuck!” a deep voice groaned from behind the both of you.

Turning slightly to look over your shoulder, you saw the man you’d knocked down before stumbling up from the ground along with the assistance of the other woman. His hand cupped over his face with it scrunched up in pain. You took a few steps back away, stepping away from Eddie, as the man came to his full height.

Though these people were obviously with Eddie it didn’t mean you trusted them. The man before you had long, dark brown curls that nearly fell along his shoulders with sun-kissed strands of blonde through them. He was almost as tall as Eddie, possibly only a couple inches shorter. But larger when it came to his body, his shoulders spanning wider and his arms appearing bigger.

“Did you really have to fuckin’ hit me in the nose?” He spoke with another groan, pulling his hand away from his face. It took a few seconds to realize that it was none other than Steve Harrington. Your eyes widened to see another familiar face.

“Sorry, didn’t exactly know who you were,” You spoke with defensiveness to your tone. Eyes glared slightly as you looked back toward the former King of Hawkins High.

“Can’t blame the girl for defending herself, dingus,” The woman beside him spoke, rolling her eyes, before reaching up to pull down the cloth tied around the bottom of her face. Her hand reached out toward you quickly with a smile causing her blue eyes to sparkle with kindness, “Robin, Robin Buckley.”

Your guard slowed slightly as your attention moved away from Steve and toward Robin. You knew of her from high school but couldn’t exactly say that you knew her. She was from the band, and in your Science fifth period. You repeated your name to her as you firmly shook her hand.

“As much as this reunion is nice, we should be heading back to camp. The night is coming,” Nancy spoke, apprehensively looking toward you. “Hopper is going to be worried if we’re not back in time.”

You perked up slightly to the sound of a familiar, “The Chief?”

Eddie nodded his head, stepping up toward you again, hating that there was a small distance between you. He felt like he was in a vivid dream and at any moment you would be retaken from him.

“We have a camp about four miles from here,” Eddie spoke.

“Eddie,” Nancy scolded glaring toward him with wide eyes. She looked toward him for a long moment like they were silently communicating with each other. She gave her head a slight shake, it was subtle, but you didn’t miss it.

“You’re not thinking I’m leaving her out here do you?” Eddie spoke with a harshness to her voice.

“We don’t know if she’s got another camp, let’s not assume,” Nancy spoke with a tight voice. Steve and Robin standing on the sidelines of the conversation.

“I don’t” You answered quickly. Your eyes move from Eddie to Nancy. You didn’t miss the sadness that settled into Eddie’s eyes as he looked down at you. “I-I’m alone.”

“For how long?” Robin asked.

“A long time,” You spoke, body stiffening and signaling that was all the information that you were willing to give. Robin nodded her head, silently understanding.

“She’s coming with us,” Eddie emphasized again.

“She could be bitten or scratched.” Steve said, “We don’t know what we could bring back to Camp, Munson.”

“I’m not bit, and I’m not scratched.” You whispered with a shake of your head, already feeling a heavy sense of unwelcome settling over you.

That small bit of hope you’d felt before was quickly dwindling.

“Doesn’t matter. We don’t know you.” Steve spoke stepping toward you, Eddie quickly moving between you two. “We have a camp that has already been through enough, we don’t need a trespasser messing that up.”

“Steve,” Robin spoke firmly, moving toward him and standing beside Eddie. “Eddie knows her, and are you honestly going to leave someone out here alone? We both know you’d feel guilt the moment you walked away.”

Steve seemed to be having an internal fight with himself before he sighed deeply and shook his head. “Fine. But if Hopper says she’s out, you know you don’t have a choice in the matter.”

He was speaking to Eddie.

Eddie nodded his head before turning to look down at you, “Are you wanting to come back with us?”

You looked at him for a long moment, before answering, “I just traveled halfway across the country to find you, I’m not exactly letting you out of my sight any time soon.”

Eddie chuckled slightly before nodding his head and placing a hand gently on your shoulder. The two of you followed along behind the others heading north through the woods. With each step, your stomach fluttered with nerves.

“So, where did you travel from?” Robin asked after a long tense moment of silence between all of you.

You hesitated for a moment, before speaking, “Tennessee,”

“You were there this entire time?” Eddie asked, his stomach dropping at the thought of you only being a few states away this whole time.

A better outcome than what he’d believed all these years. That you were dead.

“No. My mom and I were in the south mostly. She had family there and thought it would be safer when the outbreak happened. But…we never made it. Instead ended up with a few different groups…traveling through Georgie, Alabama…last place was Tennessee. She wanted to come back home.”

You felt a ball form at the back of your throat as the thoughts of your mother came back to your mind. Over the last few months, you hadn’t given yourself the proper time to grieve her. Instead, focus on getting back to Hawkins and surviving.

A tense silence fell over you all again, a deep frown settling on Eddie’s lips. He could tell from your body language that something was wrong. But would wait for a more private moment to ask.

“You traveled through all that and hadn’t become a Flayed,” Steve spoke, his tone indicating his disbelief.

“Obviously,” You snapped.

“I think you’re pretty badass to make it this far on your own.” Robin smiled “Might be a piece to the group that we need.”

The rest of the walk was in tense silence as you all wadded through the forest that surrounded Hawkins. You were confused about where they were leading you, no longer expertly familiar with the town you’d grown up in. But when you came across the reinforced fence and the building came into view. You knew exactly where you were.

“You turned the Lab into an encampment?” You asked.

Eddie reached to pull down his bandana, giving a clearer view of his face. Seeing the shadow of a beard growing along his jawline. The years that you two have been apart showing with how grown he looked. It was the boy you’d fallen in love with still; you could see that with the cheeky smile, he’d give you. But with a cringle around his eyes that seemed to be more defined as he neared his thirties.

“Little bit more than a camp,” Eddie smirked, guiding you along the fence till you all rounded toward the front.

You quickly noticed the stations and boardwalk that aligned the top of the reinforced wall. People with guns strapped to their bodies paced along the lengths, clearly on patrol. The wall made it hard for you to see beyond that, except for the top of the old Lab building peeking over the top. Robin and Steve waved to a few people up on the wall as you all neared the front of the gate.

You stopped, along with the others, the moment you came to the large double doors that led into the camp. Standing at the top of the wall was a man that didn’t seem familiar. But with the way she glared down at you, he made your stomach roll.

“Seems you brought home a straggler,” The man spoke, his voice deep and heavy.

“She’s an old friend,” Eddie spoke quickly, the cheekiness gone, instead replaced with seriousness. “She’s alone and needs shelter.”

The man chuckled with false humor, “Hopper isn’t gonna like this.”

“I think once he sees who it is, Hopper isn’t gonna give much of a fight.”

The man grumbled slightly before nodding his head toward someone you couldn’t see. Soon the gates began to move with a loud mechanical sound that vibrated harshly against your eardrums. You cringed slightly and only moved when you noticed Eddie do the same. When you walked through the gates of the wall, you gasped loudly at what was in front of you.

“Oh, fuck,” You gasped with widening eyes as the rebuilt town was in front of you. “Y-You live in an Establishment?”

Eddie looked down at you with eyebrows pulled in confusion, “A what?”

“An establishment? A rebuilt town?” You spoke, “Never heard of those.”

“Obviously not, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckled.

“My friend Judy told me she’s seen one before. People that had basically rebuilt and started over,” You spoke with amazement, “I thought she was bullshitting me.”

“It took us a while to get like this,” Eddie spoke, guiding you through and toward the main building. “Took apart some of the old homes and brought the supplies here so we could rebuild. Also moved trailers from Forest Hills to make room for homes, medicine, food storage.”

As Eddie spoke you were able to quickly see what he spoke of. The front lawn of the old Lab was filled with trailers, small buildings, and some tented-off areas. From the distance, you could hear the soft sounds of farm animals.

“Is that a sheep I hear?”

“Yeah,” Eddie smiled “Got ’em from the farms that were left abandoned. We have our own food, though we still must go on patrols and outings for other supplies.”

“This is amazing,” You spoke in shock and amazement, your head swiveling so much you were sure your neck would hurt the next day.

Steve led you all up the path and through the double doors of the Lab. The shock didn’t stop as you’d only noticed then the lights that filled the front lobby and surrounding hallways.

They had electricity.

Eddie laughed and brought his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him more, as he pulled you further into the lobby. “We use this building for housing, more medicine. The Lab was running off its own power source so that’s how we’re able to have electricity. Something shady must’ve been going on here before the outbreak, but it’s become our home…thanks to Hopper.”

“He’s in charge I’m guessing?” You asked.

Eddie nodded his head, “Pull anyone in town that started from the outbreak in. Fortified and built it everything you see from the ground up.”

“Munson!” a voice shouted from the end of the hallway.

The both of you turned your heads toward the source, you jumping slightly from the sudden loud noise. The man walking toward you was a man you were all too familiar with. Another father figure that was in your life growing up. Age had caught up to him with the gray of his hair and beard. But you’d know Jim Hopper even with it being over six years since you’d seen him last. Hopper stopped short the moment he seemed to recognize who was standing beside Eddie. His face paled as if he’d seen a ghost standing in front of him. But it quickly went away before he stalked toward you both.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Hopper spoke as he neared closer.

“Chief,” You spoke with a nervous chuckle, “Long time no see.”

“I’ll fuckin’ say,” He nodded his head with a smile, “Where the hell have you been kid?”

“Long story,” You spoke, fighting the urge to rush toward him.

You might’ve known these people in the past, but times were different now.  

“Found her out on patrol,” Eddie spoke from behind you, “Didn’t think you’d give much of a fight if she were to find shelter here.”

Hopper shook his head with a heavy sigh, “No. Is it just you?”

You nodded your head, “Just me,”

Hopper frowned with a heavy sadness, seeming to understand what you weren’t saying at that moment.

“She’ll have to go through the quarantine process. We can’t blindly let someone into the Camp, no matter if we knew that from before or not.”

“Can’t we just examine and see that she’s not bit? She already swore she wasn’t.” Eddie spoke with a slight panic appearing in his tone.

You looked over your shoulder to Eddie with a slightly worried face.

“You know the rules, Eddie.” Hopper spoke, “We’ll take good care of her, you know this.”

Eddie hesitated for a moment, he was ready to argue more with the man standing in front of him. But he sighed heavily and nodded his head slightly, before stepping toward you more. He stood between you and Hopper, gently grabbing your hands, and bending down so his eyes were more level with yours.

“I’ve to say goodbye for now,” Eddie spoke softly, causing you to stiffen slightly. “But not for long.”

“Eddie,” You whimpered, a fear coming over you that you didn’t understand.

“Shh, shh…it’s ok. I promise. Do you trust me?” Eddie asked, his eyes looking deeply into yours.

You nodded your head before swallowing down the fear that was itching up your throat. Eddie hesitantly stepped away from you, suddenly bringing Hopper back into view along with two others.

Your stomach rolled again knowing why the fear was approaching. But though you were back in your hometown surrounded by a few you know. You were essentially in an unknown place, putting your trust in others. Something you hadn’t had to do for a while.

“Let’s go, kid,” Hopper spoke, before turning and leading you down the hall toward the unknown.

Hope you all enjoyed the next chapter. The reader is in the camp with Eddie, but there are still some things they will have to get over. Leave your thoughts!

reblog + like if you enjoyed it!

[thexphial]

An excellent rundown from The Stranger on JKR's Holocaust denial. As a Jewish woman who lost actual family in the Holocaust, her twisting of the narrative is genuinely offensive and harmful.

Hey all, it’s Vivian. If you've freed yourself from wandering the wasteland of weirdos and robots on x.com, you may not have seen a series of tweets from JK Rowling about trans people and the Nazis. Rowling first questioned if Nazis ever burned research on trans people (they did) and then linked a thread excoriating problematic grandaddies in the field, implying that trans medicine carried on a eugenic or Nazi legacy of human experimentation (it doesn't). I really hate inaccurate history, so I called someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about, University of Washington's Laurie Marhoefer, the leading expert on trans people and the Nazis. You just can't unpack this complicated, nuanced bit of history in a tweet.

A memorial in Tel Aviv dedicated to the LGBTQ victims of the Holocaust. URIEL SINAI / GETTY

Yes, JK Rowling, the Nazis Did Persecute Trans People

We Asked the Leading Expert on the Topicallot Initiative Success in Western  VIVIAN MCCALL Last week, children's book author JK Rowling tweeted some more nonsense about transgender people. In this case, she disputed the fact that Nazis destroyed early research on the community:

Despite Rowling’s dismissal, it is an established fact–not a fever dream–that the Nazis persecuted transgender people. And it’s not the first time this debate has come up on social media. Denying this history is part of an overall effort to discount the discrimination trans people still face in their pursuit of fundamental rights today. It is important to remember the truth and to evaluate what research we have, especially at a time when far-right attacks against trans people are increasing in the United States and elsewhere.

The Looting and Burning

In 1933, the Nazi-supporting youth with the German Student Union and SA paramilitary looted the Institute for Sexual Science (Institut für Sexualwissenschaft) in Berlin. The institute collected the earliest known research on gay and transgender people, and it helped people obtain legal name changes, medical treatments, and “transvestite certificates” from local police that allowed them legally to present as their gender.

Days after the looting, Nazis took to the streets to burn the 20,000 books looters found inside the building, and they placed a bust of the institute’s founder, Magnus Hirschfeld, on the pile in effigy. Hirschfeld was out of the country at the time, but he later died in exile in 1935. 

In the years that followed, trans people were busted under German laws criminalizing sodomy and wearing clothes associated with their birth sex. They were imprisoned in concentration camps before and after the start of World War II. Some were murdered there. Others escaped with their lives.

We’ve Been Here Before 

Since Rowling posted about the subject on x.com, misinformation about trans people in Nazi Germany has circulated widely. Some people have also claimed that the discussion of trans victims of Nazi violence distracts from the “real victims” of National Socialism. In light of this discourse, I called the leading researcher studying trans people and the Nazis, University of Washington professor Laurie Marhoefer.

“My first reaction was, they’re totally wrong,” Marhoefer said of the posts. “They’re not even in the ballpark. My reaction 1.5 was, ‘Oh this is eerie, the same thing happened in Germany two years ago.’”

Back in July of 2022, a graduate biology student named Marie-Luise Vollbrecht, who was known for her “gender critical” anti-trans views, made headlines in Germany.

She tweeted that the Nazis had never targeted trans people, and to say they did “mock[ed] the true victims of the Nazi crimes.” People responded with a hashtag that claimed she denied Nazi crimes. Vollbrecht filed a lawsuit against some of them, claiming their hashtag violated her rights and basically called her a holocaust-denier, which is a crime in Germany. She lost her case, and, after parsing the historical facts, the court officially recognized trans people as Nazi victims. A few months later, Germany’s parliament issued a statement recognizing the queer victims of Nazis and of post-war persecution. 

We Don’t Know Much, but What We Do Know Is Grim 

That ruling aside, this history is by no means complete. Scholars still don’t know much about the lives of trans people in Nazi Germany. Researchers have only recently started to study the subject and to undo false assumptions that cis gay men and transgender women were essentially viewed as the same in the eyes of their oppressors.

Through years of research and the review of published literature, Marhoefer has identified 27 criminal cases involving trans men, women, and gender nonconforming people in Nazi Germany. Locating them is hard work, and it requires parsing heaps of documents in non-keyword-searchable archives to find police files on a very small group of people that did everything in their power to avoid police detection. Marhoefer has 30,000 Gestapo files on their laptop alone. The little we do know, so far, is grim. 

According to research from Marhoefer, beginning in 1933, Hamburg police were instructed to send “transvestites” to concentration camps. A person named H. Bode lived in the city, dated men, dressed in women’s clothes, and once held a “transvestite” certificate. After multiple public indecency and public nuisance convictions, she was sent to Buchenwald, where she died in 1943. Liddy Bacroff, a trans sex worker in Hamburg, died at Mauthausen the same year. Officials sent her there because she was a “morals criminal of the worst sort.” 

Essen police ordered Toni Simon to stop wearing women's clothes, as she had done for years. She served a year in prison for disrespecting police officers, hanging out with gays, and speaking against the regime. The authorities called Simon a “pronounced transvestite,” and a Gestapo officer said placement in a concentration camp was “absolutely necessary.” She ultimately survived. 

Unlike today, Marhoefer said, trans people were never a front-and-center political issue for the Nazis, nor were they rounded up in the same systematic way as Jews or the Roma. Nevertheless, the Nazis did specifically target them for their gender identities. On a fundamental level, transness was incongruous with Nazi ideology, a hyper-masculine fascism that emphasized purity and traditional gender roles. 

The enforcement of moral laws prevented them from living as they did in the Weimar Republic era, the democratic government in power before Adolf Hitler and a time of limited acceptance. Magazines, nightclubs such as the Eldorado, and nascent organizations for trans people were shuttered. The state forced detransition, revoking a permit from at least one person named Gerd R. and driving them to suicide.

“I think we expect the crackdown, and then it’s all over their media, but it’s quiet,” Marhoefer said. “How many in a camp do we have to find before people will be like, ‘Okay, there was persecution?’”

While the Nazis did not often discuss transness much, at least one 1938 book, Ein Beitrag zum Problem des Transvestitismus, provides some idea of how party officials thought about trans people. 

Author Hermann Ferdinand Voss described trans people as “asocial” and likely criminals, which justified “draconian measures by the state.” Nazi rhetoric also linked trans women and pedophilia, which mirrors the contemporary allegations from conservative Republicans about trans and queer people “grooming” children.

When they came after Hirschfeld, who was gay and Jewish, propagandists also framed homosexuality as a Jewish plot to feminize men and to destroy the race. Years before Nazis stormed his institute, the pro-party newspaper Der Stürmer labeled him the most dangerous Jew in Germany, which brings us to another point Rowling shared in a thread on X.

Problematic Granddaddies 

After x.com users told Rowling that Nazis did, in fact, persecute trans people and burn research about them, she accused people who corrected her of valorizing Hirschfeld, rather than doing what they were actually doing, which was simply correcting the record. 

Indeed, Hirschfeld, the granddaddy of the gay rights movement and a pioneer for trans health care, was a eugenicist. Furthermore, the early practitioner of vaginoplasty, Erwin Gohrbandt, who operated on Lili Elbe of The Danish Girl fame, was a Nazi collaborator connected to Dachau.

History rightly doesn’t look back on eugenicists and Nazi collaborators fondly, but those facts have nothing to do with whether or not Nazis persecuted trans people or burned research. 

Apparently unsatisfied with spreading historical misinformation in one instance, Rowling followed-up with a tweet that directed users to a “thread on the persistent claims about trans people and the Nazis.” The thread implies that trans medicine is eugenic or Nazi in some way, and it draws a false connection between gender-affirming care and tortuous human experiments in the camps. 

Broadly, the thread argues that early trans medical care constituted medical malpractice and the development of a new kind of sterilization in the form of gender-affirming genital surgery, and it contends that Gohrbandt performed his early vaginoplasties with the same regard for humanity as he displayed in his later work with the Nazis.

But the beliefs of these flawed medical pioneers have no bearing on trans people or trans politics, and conflating modern gender-affirming care with this early experimental treatment ignores the state violence trans people faced at the hands of the Nazis.

Despite Hirschfeld’s contributions to the field, people are right to criticize him for seeing the world through the lens of eugenics, even if that view was common in the 1930s. 

Marhoefer literally wrote the book on his eugenic beliefs. Hirschfeld thought that gayness was eugenically beneficial because queer people did not reproduce, but he made no eugenic arguments for or against his work with trans people. He dedicated one of his books to eugenics, and he believed they sat at the heart of the science of sexology. And while he was critical of scientific racism, you can find anti-Black statements in his work, too, Marhoefer said.

Moreover, while Hirschfeld’s writings suggest he empathized with trans people and wanted to alleviate their suffering, he still staked a career on them. He photographed trans people in demeaning ways and trotted them out for demonstrations in front of other doctors.

It’s important to remember that Hirschfeld did not invent or create transness. The community existed before he discovered it, and the trans people themselves were not advocating for eugenic sterilization. The man was a trailblazer, not a saint. In fact, his approach to trans medicine laid the foundation for a system that forces people to jump through hoops for medical care. To this day, the majority of people who do trans medicine are not transgender themselves, and they do not always have the best interests of trans people at heart, Marhoefer said.

Gohrbandt would certainly make a list of medical practitioners who did not always have the best interests of trans people at heart. The pioneering plastic surgeon’s career bloomed along with his field, which quickly advanced to treat disfiguring battlefield injuries from World War I. He did not work at the institute, and because the surgeries were still very rare, he didn’t make a living performing them, Marhoefer said. We can count on one hand the number of gender-affirming surgeries he performed.

Unlike the Jewish and leftist doctors he worked with, Gohrbandt did not have to flee Germany. He endorsed the regime and later became the chief medical advisor for the Luftwaffe’s sanitary services division. In 1942, he participated in a secret conference on the results of fatal hypothermia experiments performed on Holocaust victims, and later reported the results in a German surgical journal.

Marhoefer said it is not strange that a future Nazi worked with progressive Jews on gender-affirming care in the 1920s. Many German doctors backed the regime and committed atrocities because they wanted careers. 

There’s no defending Gohrbandt, but his path does not suggest anything unique and nefarious about gender-affirming care. It says more about the heartbreaking situation these trans people found themselves in when even the few doctors they could turn to for medical care treated them with disdain.

Marhoefer said doctors of the day took advantage of desperate women such as Elbe, Dora Richter, and Charlotte Charlaque, who was Jewish and fled the Nazis. They endured experimental surgeries with no oversight before antibiotics, patients’ rights, or ethics protections. Many doctors saw them as a means to an end in the overall development of plastic surgery.

What All of This Is Really About

Trans persecution is simply one story in a much larger one about the Holocaust. Trans people today who point out this history as right-wing attacks against them intensify around the world are not erasing the murder of Jews and Roma in concentration camps, or the extermination of disabled people, or the deaths of millions of Soviet POWS in Nazi Germany’s murderous campaign to seize eastern territory and farmland. 

But this conversation is not really about Nazis any more than constant squabbles over gender-affirming care are about children. Nor does it honor victims of Nazi crimes.

No information, scholarship, or detailed account of a complicated history can satisfy someone who is fundamentally opposed to a person existing as they do. No number of mainstream medical organizations that again and again defend the efficacy of gender-affirming care can assuage their doubts. The benchmark for correctness is constantly moving and shifting, and the argument has no logical endpoint.

Meanwhile, ordinary trans people who rise to their own defense are labeled activists and needled for their wording, or their temperament, or their appearance, or the smallest misstatement. 

At the same time, people like Rowling expect transgender laypeople to possess the knowledge of Holocaust researchers, of doctors, of psychologists, and of public policy experts. Every week, it seems, anti-trans interests push out another poorly researched hit meant to undermine the community’s existence in some way. It is trolling, and it is exhausting, and that’s all it is. 

[monasteryicons]

1 - Turning the bad times into good times We have been here before, and chances are we will find ourselves here again – history shows us that this is the way of this world. What to do? Saint Augustine answers: “Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well, and times shall be good. We are the times: Such as we are, such are the times.”

2 - "You are the light of the world." What an incredible statement by Christ! As men and women of prayer, we are not weak, we are not powerless. And together, our seemingly small lights can bring a great illumination. In the 1940’s a religious teacher brought his students to a nighttime concert at the Hollywood Bowl. At one point small candles were distributed to the audience members, and at a signal everyone lit their candle. The amphitheater was gloriously illuminated! The lesson being ended, the teacher led his students out of the concert.

3 - "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." - Saint John Vianney These words from Saint James the Apostle should not be taken lightly. The history of the Church abounds in stories of the miraculous effect of prayer, and even science has finally begun to catch up with the religion and realize this. In 1988 Dr. Randolph Byrd organized a double-blind study of 393 patients in a coronary unit, dividing them into two randomized groups, one of which was put on a list to receive intercessory prayer on their behalf without their knowledge. The other group was a control and was not prayed for. The study concluded that the patients in the first group scored statistically lower in the severity of their medical needs, showing that prayers even from remote strangers positively affected the outcome of their medical treatment. It works! (But you already knew that.)

4 - Don't forget your heavenly friends The sense of isolation and of powerlessness are probably what make difficult times so painful for so many. But as Christians, we are never alone, we are never helpless. Don’t forget to call on your heavenly friends, who are always ready and eager to help you and all those you pray for – the holy angels, the saints, and of course our Lord and the Blessed Virgin. “The Church Militant” is not just a metaphor. We are part of, and surrounded by a great heavenly army.

When the king of Syria sent a great army to capture the prophet Elisha, the prophet’s terrified servant cried “What shall we do?” Mystically seeing the great angelic army which God had sent to protect him, Elisha told his servant: “Fear not, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” (2 Kings 6:16)

5 - Pray for your enemies - Betsie Ten Boom Christ taught that we must recognize the reality of evil in the world; ours is not a faith of rose-colored glasses. As Christians, how should we react to this evil? Among other things, Christ taught us to pray for our enemies. Think of the tortured condition of the people wreaking havoc in the world at this time. As difficult as it may be, let us bring them too before God in prayer, that His light will drive the darkness out of their hearts and minds.

After some months of their imprisonment in a Ravensbruck concentration camp because they concealed Jews in their home in Holland, the two Dutch sisters Corrie and Betsie Ten Boom learned the identity of the Dutch man who had colluded with the Nazis and betrayed their family. Corrie brimmed with hatred for the man who had brought such suffering literally to their doorstep. Her father was dead because of this man, and it was because of that traitor that Betsie was slowly dying. When she asked her sister “Doesn’t it bother you?” she replied “Oh yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew—and pray for him whenever his name comes into my mind.” As Betsie grew weaker, she kept insisting that she and Corrie had work to do after the war. She planned to have rehabilitation homes – with green paint and window boxes – for concentration camp survivors as well as for people who had helped the Nazis.

[black-arcana]

EPICA's SIMONE SIMONS Explains Why The Time Is 'Right' For Her To Release Her Debut Solo Album

In a new interview with El Cuartel Del Metal, EPICA singer Simone Simons discussed her upcoming debut solo album, "Vermillion", on which she collaborated with her longtime musical partner Arjen Lucassen (AYREON). Asked how long she has been planning the project, Simone said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "Well, actively for, I guess, one and a half years, or one year even, with Arjen. We started, yeah, last year, I think springtime or so. But I talked to him about working together, I asked him if he wanted to work with me on my solo album already years ago, if he would be interested. And he was, but we were both just too busy. And last year, we also did the AYREON shows together; I was part of that. But already before those took place, we met up because he already started writing songs, and he always kind of wrote two, three songs and then I would come over to him to record vocals. And then a couple of months later he would have more songs. So it was not that all songs were there all at once. But we did it in a couple of sessions. And, yeah, EPICA was not touring a lot. And writing a new record for EPICA was kind of a little bit like at the end of the last vocal recordings for 'Vermillion'. EPICA was also in the studio, or writing camps, writing albums. So, for me, I guess this was the freest I could get my calendar, but I still had things going on. And in the past we were just touring too much. So the wish was always there, but not the time, also for Arjen because he's very busy as well. But now we were both motivated and had the time. The time was right now."

Regarding the first two singles from the LP, "Aeterna" and "In Love We Rust", Simone said: "Well, 'Aeterna' was the idea of Arjen to release as a first single track, because it is a little bit of a perfect blend of AYREON and EPICA; there's quite some similarities of both our music career, I guess. So it would be kind of a soft introduction to both our fans, to get warm with the project. But it's definitely not an indication of how the whole album sounds like; it's still very, very different. And 'In Love We Rust' is one of both Arjen and my favorite tracks of the album, and it's a beautiful ballad. Who doesn't like a ballad? And this month, there will be a third single, which will be a very heavy song. So I'm curious to see what people are gonna say about that. But all songs are brilliant and I like 'em all. They're like all babies in a way. But 'Aeterna', I felt a little bit sorry for Patric [Ullaeus] who did the video because it's a long song to do a video for. Nowadays singles are always three, max four minutes, and EPICA is always surpassing that, but, yeah, six minutes of supernovas, planets and many dresses. [Laughs]"

Arjen is no stranger to Simone's soaring operatic voice, one that can stir even a gargoyle's stone heart to tears. Together they have crafted a sonic universe that befits the influential figure she is. Due on August 23 via Nuclear Blast Records, "Vermillion" emerges as a gargantuan goose-bump generator, a universally touching, stellar tour de force.

Simone and Arjen previously stated about "Aeterna": "'Aeterna' is the big, epic opener of the album and it comes with this amazing video too, directed by Patric Ullaeus. It definitely sounds the closest to EPICA and AYREON, blending powerful Latin lyrics with a touch of an oriental feel. We've tried to strike a balance between the mighty, bombastic sounds and the more atmospheric parts. Since it's the first track people will hear from this album, it's super important to us and we're really excited for people to hear it!

"'Aeterna' takes the point of view of a star about to go supernova to explore how everything in the universe is interconnected, like a cosmic web made from stardust. It deals our deep emotions, consciousness and other mysteries of life that science still can't fully explain. Essentially it's a reflection on our place in the vast universe and the connections that bind us together, as we're all, to quote Carl Sagan, 'made of starstuff.'"

About "In Love We Rust", Simone and Arjen said: "The video was filmed in just one take to keep it as pure and raw as possible. We opted to keep it in black and white so as not to distract from the song or the performance.

"'In Love We Rust' is quite different from our first single 'Aeterna', which shows how diverse this album is. This is one of our favorite songs. We hope you love this as much as we do."

For more than 20 years, ever since she was a teenager, Simons has been carving her own path as a woman within the world of metal. As a lead singer, icon, and role model for a whole generation of female metalheads, the EPICA lead singer remains one of the most prominent key figures in all things metal. After eight albums and countless global tours with her band, Simone Simons finally found the time to release her first solo album — a moment 15 years in the making. Her breathtaking debut "Vermillion" is a stunning feat chronicling her storied past as well as her rise to fame, and showcasing her many different influences ranging from prog rock to film scores to metal to electronic elements.

Of the timing for her eagerly awaited foray into the realms of a solo career, the Dutch singer says with a disarming grin: "EPICA has my priority and I always have the liberty to do other musical projects besides my career in EPICA. Yet I never had the time to dive into a project to this extent."

"Vermillion" track listing:

01. Aeterna 02. In Love We Rust 03. Cradle To The Grave (feat. Alissa White-Gluz) 04. Fight Or Flight 05. Weight Of My World 06. Vermillion Dreams 07. The Core 08. Dystopia 09. R.E.D. 10. Dark Night Of The Soul

[hyperfixated-maybe]

Not what I usually post, but I need people to see this insanely intimate moment I had with two complete strangers at the airport the other day. This was typed out in my notes app on the bus ride from the airport so I’d get every fresh little detail from my memory.

“Sitting on a Lufthansa flight, eight hours from Frankfurt to Boston. We’re a half hour ahead of time, sitting on the runway awaiting an open gate. I hear a clang, and under my seat rolls a metal water bottle. I reach under and pass it back to the kid who dropped it. They wear a soft jean jacket with a shirt underneath reading something along the lines of “I’m really a moth and this is my human costume”.

“Here you go, bud.” I say.

They thank me. 

Five, ten minutes later and everybody is getting up to be deplaned. I hear behind me the same kid talking to their mom. “There’s a type of jellyfish that can live forever. If something doesn’t eat it. They go back to an earlier stage of their life…” 

I turn back and pull lobsters into the conversation. They tell me they went to an away science camp where they learned about marine biology. 

“I’m Moth” they draw out the “th” sound. 

I repeat it back: “Moth?? That’s such a cool name dude!”

The mom jumps in. “They named themself that!”

“What’s your name?” Moth asks me.

“Sam. My pronouns are he/him, what are yours?”

“They/them!”

“That’s so cool! I’m trans too!”

The mom again: “They have older siblings, so they’ve had a lot more time to think about these things than most other nine year olds.”

There’s a pause in the conversation here, and I can feel my emotions bending. “You know you’re the luckiest kid ever, right?”

“I am?” 

“Mhm..” I’ve started to get shakey now. I look away and bring my arm to my face, trying to control my emotions. The mom looks at me, and waits a moment before saying, “y’know, I give out mom hugs to anyone who needs it.” She opens her arms and I lean into the embrace. 

When it’s over I find myself saying “You’re the coolest person I know. I hope you have a great life!” to Moth as I leave. I wave behind me as I get off the plane. 

“Me too!”

I wait on the edge of the group as the rest of the cadets trickle off of the plane and condense beside me. I see Moth and their mom walk by, and I catch the mom’s eye. We smile at each other. Moth doesn’t see me.

They came back. To find me. And Moth asks for a hug. (Or, more accurately, if they can hug 𝘮𝘦.)

“Of course!” I bend down. We’re at an awkward height, and I shift to see if I should kneel or remain. By the end I’m kneeling. 

We hug more times than I remember. Eight, nine, ten times? I don’t rightfully know. Each hug they get more emotional, and I see tears well up in their brown eyes. 

The mother says “sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know they’d start crying like this.” I tell her it’s fine, it’s okay. 

Their straight, brown, a bit longer than shoulder length hair is messed up, and the mom is behind them, smoothing it behind their ear. So am I. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” The mom says to them. 

I tell them that they’re the coolest person I know. We hug, and each time we pull away, we hold each other’s arms, or grasp each others hands. 

“Sorry about this. With the jet lag and stuff they start acting like a drunk person!” 

Moth laughs through their tears, and I laugh with them.

“Sam’s gotta go with his group now,” the mother says. So I do.

The last time I saw Moth was about a half hour after our first interaction on the plane. I’m walking with my group to get my passport stamped. Moth is alone now, waiting for their mom outside a bathroom. I hug them one last time as I walk by, and file down through the seatbelt barrier maze. 

I wave, and Moth smiles back. 

And that’s it. That’s my whole story. As much as they’ll ever know of it, at least.”

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The Dustin Experiment Review

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews:

Stranger Things Reviews/Theories:

Stranger Things Play:

Stranger Things The First Shadow

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tales From Hawkins

Stranger Things x Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crossover

Stranger Things The Voyage

Stranger Things “Deliver Me From Evil”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Flight Of Icarus

Stranger Things Lucas On The Line

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 1 of 2)

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Following the Battle of Starcourt, Dustin attempts to adjust to life in high school as he deals with the fallout of being targeted by bullies and his friends growing distant. When he learns of a science fair taking place in Indianapolis, Dustin enlists the help of Eddie Munson to get the project off the ground as he begins to consider his future.............

Observations:

I ended up reading this book twice, prior to the 2024 Election. First time was difficult to get through due to a slow beginning and my mixed feelings about the last 4-5 pages. Rereading it a second time and thinking things through was a more positive experience, and I ended up having a lot of fun with the story, especially when it came to Dustin's science project and his personal adventure at the science fair.

In terms of how I'd rank it, I'd say it's definitely better than last year's Flight of Icarus, and even a cut above Lucas on the Line due to not having continuity errors. However, it's not quite to the level of Rebel Robin or my Top 5 best tie-ins in the series. There were issues with it, but the book does a good job sticking after you've finished it, and what it presents does make me excited for the direction they could go with Dustin in season 5.

I'll start with the parts I took issue with, and work my way up to the positives that made the book worth reading:

Part 1: Bullying (i.e. The First 3rd of the Book)

Those who have followed my blog know I don't have any patience for bullies. In fact, when it comes to Stranger Things and the themes it explores, I have a harder time watching scenes with characters like Troy, James, Tommy, Carol, Billy, Jason, Angela, the Rink-O-Mania crowd, and Two, in comparison with the horror aspects like the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, and Vecna. A lot of it has to do with how the bullying is uncomfortably grounded in reality, as well as a lifetime of experience on my end dealing with people like this (both on social media and off it). The last year alone especially has been eye-opening with how shamelessly vile and hypocritical some people will be, especially if they think they can get away with it. It's gotten to the point I'm not hesitant anymore about blocking people, or dragging them over the coals if they continue to poke the bear one too many times. At some point, you either develop tougher skin and a "No patience for bullshit" attitude, or you continue to be a target and a dormant for these people. I chose the former.

Having read Lucas on the Line beforehand, I knew that a story focusing on Dustin between seasons 3 and 4 was bound to focus on him and Mike getting bullied, and wasn't surprised when they depicted it in all of its ugliness:

I'll be honest in admitting I never liked Jason as a character. When I first saw season 4, I pegged him immediately as self-absorbed and coasting on self-righteousness and arrogance (even before Chrissy got brutally murdered), and the way things played out did NOTHING to alter that perception. While I initially felt bad for him over the grief and anger of losing Chrissy, that immediately vanished the moment he whipped the townsfolk into conducting a witch hunt against the Hellfire Club without giving a damn about whether innocent people would be hurt in the process (which they were).

Since the release of Season 4, and the subsequent tie-ins that have accompanied it, my opinion of Jason has NOT improved, especially with how this book, Lucas on the Line, and Flight of Icarus depict him as a bully with his own prejudices and anger issues that would lead him to look for any excuse to pick fights with people he didn't like.

I would go as far to argue that Chrissy's death didn't turn him into a monster so much as it brought out the nastier aspects of his character that were already there to begin with. This dude was a timebomb waiting to detonate, and even if Chrissy hadn't died, something was eventually bound to set him off.

On top of that, Jason's treatment of Mike in this book is pretty awful, and only made him more detestable. It also makes his not-so-subtle threat to Nancy in "Papa" about going after Mike a lot more heinous in hindsight:

The book helps flesh-out Mike and Dustin's irritation with Lucas wanting to join the basketball team and why they have a problem with it. It also give context into why they believed Lucas was deluding himself when he claimed this would allow him, Mike, and Dustin to become popular in High School and therefore untouchable to bullies: That was ALWAYS a fantasy that was never going to happen. Jason and his squad were repeatedly awful to Mike and Dustin during their first year of high school, and no amount of Lucas kissing up to Jason was going to change that. Their frustration with Lucas was less about him wanting to play basketball (though neither of them show much enthusiasm for the sport to begin with) and more about wanting Lucas to wake up and realize how much of an asshole Jason and his buddies are.

I've seen fans criticize Mike and Dustin in the season 4 premiere for skipping Lucas's championship game to do Eddie's D&D campaign, and while I initially could understand that position, having time to reevaluate has made me realize they probably made the right call in hindsight. For all of his flaws, Eddie accepted Mike and Dustin and gave them sanctuary within the Hellfire Club, which made their lives in high school bearable. He even offered that same courtesy to Lucas in spite of Lucas also doing basketball (something that Jason had no intention of ever doing for Mike or Dustin while they were a part of Hellfire Club). Whatever acceptance Jason initially gave Lucas (which arguably had a lot to do with Lucas making the winning shot in the championship compared to if Lucas had messed up and cost them the game) came with strings attached. The moment Lucas crossed Jason is the moment he would become Jason's enemy, regardless of the reasons.

All of this makes me indifferent towards Jason's eventual fate. I'm not going to say I was glad he died, but at the same time, my sympathy was nonexistent by the time he bit the dust. Some people might call what happened to him Karmic Overkill, but Stranger Things has always made a point in demonstrating that karma doesn't distribute itself how you want it to. Decent characters like Barbara, Chrissy, Benny, Bob, and Eddie all suffered horrific fates they didn't deserve, whereas awful people like Troy, Tommy, Carol, Colonel Sullivan, Dr. Brenner, and Angela were lucky if they got any sort of comeuppance. Hell, Angela is one of the most loathsome characters in the entire series, and the best she received for her sadism and public humiliation of El was a Grade 2 concussion as opposed to the grisly death she arguably deserved.

Hell, I would go as far as to argue everyone in Rink-O-Mania who took part in El's bullying deserved a gruesome end a la Stephen King's Carrie, but I don't get to make that decision, and neither did El. They're all disgusting people devoid of any redeeming qualities, and I won't feel bad when they're eventually on the receiving end of the cruelty they've dished out (especially since none of them have the self-awareness to recognize how mean-spirited they are), but the cold hard reality is people like Angela and her ilk get away with that kind of behavior in real life (as we just saw a few weeks ago with the 2024 U.S. Elections). Characters like Angela and Jason getting any sort of consequences for their behavior, even if it's small, is cathartic for me, and that's not something I'm going to apologize for.

I will say that, for all the bullying Dustin experiences in this book, he handles it in a mature manner. A lot of this has to do with Dustin having life experience dealing with this kind of crap, and recognizing how pathetic and unoriginal it is:

Out of all the characters in the Party, Dustin is the one who adapts well to his environment, and it's a big reason he's been able to survive the hardships life throws at him. It's something I admire about his character.

Part 2: Dustin's Friendships/Relationships

Adding on what I previously said, it's notable Dustin is the one who makes friends the easiest. He may have come late to the Party (around 4th grade, according to him), but he was able to integrate seamlessly with Mike, Lucas, and Will, which is something the comic Stranger Things and Dungeons & Dragons depicts:

A good chunk of this has to do with Dustin working to find common ground with people and seeing the positive merits in others. It's how he developed his friendship with Steve and looks up to him in a big-brotherly way. It's how he formed a bond with Eddie in this novel. It's even how he's able to reach across the isle towards people like Ankia (who initially has a haughty attitude towards Dustin before she mellows out), or Danny, or Suzie, or the kids at Science Camp as depicted in that comic:

It's a good life skill that will serve him well when (and if) he leaves Hawkins alive.

A central focus in this book is Dustin reevaluating what he wants in his life, as well as how he views his relationships. Since the events of the Battle of Starcourt, the Party has split, and Dustin feels he's been left to fend for himself. In many ways, the structure of the story echos what Lucas went through in Lucas on the Line, except in this instance, it's Dustin aiming to try out something new in order to deal with the changes in his life. While Lucas veered into basketball, Dustin decided to put his intellect to use by entering a science contest. Unfortunately for him, neither of his friends express much interest in his passion: Max is depressed and isolated following Billy's death and Neil leaving her mom, Mike has shut himself away following Will and El's departure from Hawkins, and Lucas is in basketball training and hanging out with Jason's jock friends, which causes friction between Dustin and Lucas. The most support he gets for the project is from his mother and Eddie.

Speaking of Eddie, his introduction doesn't disappoint. Just like in Flight of Icarus, Eddie is someone who's moved past caring how others think of him (something Dustin respects him for), has no issue publicly calling out Jason and his jocks for their bullying, and is quick to adopt Mike and Dustin into the Hellfire Club (and later Lucas as well). Dustin's desire to impress Eddie, first by fixing his walkman and later his AMP box, is what inspires Dustin's science project: A Super AMP box of his own that would allow Dustin to record sounds, play them back, and measure changes in distortion and signal-to-noise ratios. With some encouragement from Eddie (as well as a promise for a drive to the fair and an arrangement to listen to Eddie's playlist of Heavy Metal music), Dustin heads out on his own side-quest (as he cheekily puts it).

The friendship between Dustin and Eddie is a highlight, and Eddie's attempts at helping Dustin are hilarious as well as heartwarming. Eddie is someone who likes Dustin for who he is, and encourages him to not let others tell him who he should be:

In many ways, Eddie reminds me of Jay from Lucas on the Line who also acted like a mentor figure/friend to Lucas, and motivated Lucas to be his true self.

The tragedy is, in spite of both Jay and Eddie being positive influences for Lucas and Dustin, both of them were cruelly driven out: Jay was forced to move after being targeted in a racist attack against him, whereas Eddie got scapegoated for Chrissy's death and died before he got to clear his name. It's a parallel that reminds me of Karen's words to Nancy in season 3: "This world, it beats you up again and again until eventually........most people, they just stop trying." Both Dustin and Lucas have always been fighters (same with the other members of the Party), but it doesn't make it any easier that the people they care about disappear from their lives when they're at their most vulnerable.

Speaking of vulnerable, part of the conflict Dustin has with his friends is also similar to Lucas's conflict in Lucas on the Line where both characters are going through their own hardships and assessing whether their friends will actually be there for them. Dustin does clash heads with Lucas over basketball, but a good chunk of that has to do with the crowd Lucas is hanging out with. Dustin knows Jason and his jocks are NOT nice people, and is baffled over why Lucas would want to be someone like that:

It takes some time, and a few missteps, but Dustin is able to eventually not only see Lucas's perspective, but also Mike's perspective regarding his issues, and make amends with both of them before things permanently fall apart:

This isn't much of a spoiler since the group is united again at the end of season 4, but the suspense leading up to that point comes from HOW they're able to keep their friendship together in spite of life's tribulations. There's a moving scene at the Video Rental Store where Robin and Steve hold an intervention to get Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to reconcile. During it, each find out that, despite the surface differences, their fears are similar in nature: Behind Left Behind. Losing friends. Failing the people they care about. Their bond is a lot stronger than they give it credit for. And as Steve notes, a lot of the problems they're having are manageable if they're willing to talk through it:

Speaking of Steve, it was nice seeing the book cover his relationship with Dustin. Just like in season 2, Steve takes on the role of mentor as Dustin keeps barging into his workplace (oftentimes before Steve closes, or else scaring off customers in the process) to vent about his issues. Steve, of course, takes it in stride, and offers what advice he can (along with the new video releases that Dustin is interested in).

I was initially worried this book would feature petty jealousy and contrived drama between Steve and Eddie over which of them Dustin liked the best as a friend (similar to what the show Supernatural did with Sam and Dean Winchester in Season 8 when they introduced the vampire character Benny and tried to play him as the new "brother" that Dean wanted over Sam). Thankfully, the book steers clear of that. We get brief glimpses that Steve is insecure that Dustin has started to lose interest in him as a friend (something that Dustin refutes in the narration), but Steve never becomes actively malicious against Eddie or tries to prevent Dustin from seeing Eddie (which is in direct contrast to how the Benny/Dean/Sam drama played out in Supernatural). The regrettable thing is that, had Steve and Eddie talked beforehand (similar to how Steve was encouraging Dustin to talk to Mike and Lucas before making any rash decisions), they could have become friends a lot earlier before season 4. 😞

Suzie also makes an appearance, and just like with Steve, she acts as an encouraging presence and voice of reason for Dustin as he's navigating high school. Their interactions are sweet without being over-the-top, and they even run a book club where they discuss novels they're reading together. In fact, compared to Mike and El's stilted communication while they're apart in different states, Dustin and Suzie are a lot more open with each other about what's going on in their lives (minus anything to do with the Upside Down). It makes their relationship look healthy in comparison.

I know people see Suzie as a "take-or-leave" character, but I like her, and I'm glad Dustin and her are a couple. I'm not sure what the future holds for them, but I hope she is eventually clued in to the Upside Down. I'm also hoping we get to see her interact with other characters besides Dustin (like she did with Mike, Will, Jonathan, and Argyle in season 4) and maybe even have some kind of role in helping Dustin against Vecna's army. Who knows? Her intelligence and love for fantasy could be put to good use in that situation.

We also see a little more of Dustin's friendship with Will in how they keep in touch via letters. It's a relationship that remains solid, with a nice balance between Dustin's intellectual side and Will's perceptiveness. Will encourages Dustin with his science project, and gives advice to Dustin regarding his difficulties with Mike and Lucas, as well as what he should do with his future:

There is something to be said about Dustin and Will being the glue that holds the Party together. Considering that Dustin is able to talk about his problems easier with Will in letters than he's able to with Mike or Lucas, it gives the impression that, out of all the members of the Party, Dustin is able to relate better to Will. Or maybe it's because it's easier for Will to speak openly about his thoughts and emotions, compared to Lucas and Mike who struggle more.

Dustin's interactions with Max and El are shown briefly, but aren't given the same in-depth look as his other relationships. Dustin is aware of Max's depression and living situation (and later finds out she broke up with Lucas) and does what he can in offering to be there for her. As for El, while he doesn't know the particulars, he picks up pretty quickly that El is unhappy in Lenora for reasons that are obvious to the audience (May Angela continue to get hit in the face with a heavy object every day for the rest of her miserable life). 😒

Finally, there's Dustin's relationship with his parents. The few interactions I've seen between Ms. Henderson and Dustin have always given the impression they're close and that they do a good job supporting one another, and this book confirms that. She knows that her son is a genius and allows him to nurture his creativity and scientific interests (even as she's having to call the power company multiple times since Dustin uses up the electricity in the house). I like their mother/son relationship, and I'm disappointed she's not coming back for season 5.

As for Mr. Henderson..............Dustin sums it up best to Eddie:

This is pretty consistent with how Walter Henderson was depicted in The First Shadow, and I'm glad the book includes this nod to the play.

Part 3: The Science Fair

The middle part of the book, which deals with Dustin building his "Bard Box" (i.e. the AMP box he uses to record sounds) and his adventure with Eddie in Indianapolis, was my favorite part. Not only does it feature great bonding moments between Dustin and Eddie (including the hilarious revelation that Eddie has a fear of ducks), but there's a fun mystery Dustin stumbles upon while he's at the fair that allows him to put his deductive skills to work. It's a plot with similarities to the comic Science Camp in that Dustin meets a group of nerds like him whom he befriends and they work to track down a culprit with malicious intentions.

Just like with Science Camp, I won't reveal the particulars or who the culprit is, but it was pretty easy to figure out the culprit's identity. However, the journey with Dustin and the new friends he makes is enjoyable, and I wouldn't mind seeing those characters again in a future tie-in. There's also a fun bit with Eddie having to look after a duck named Frodo Quackins (yes, that's actually his name) and his ability to improvise and entertain people:

If Eddie had survived, he could have had a career in theater, and he would have been good in it. 😞

All of this leads up to a moment where Dustin is offered the opportunity to escape Hawkins and attend a prestigious science school called Eastwood. And the remainder of the book deals with Dustin struggling over whether to accept the offer or not.

Based on how season 4 went, you can already guess how that panned out.

And this brings me to where Dustin's story goes from here......

Part 4: Dustin's Future in Season 5

I've speculated for a while that, just like with Nancy's crusade to get justice for Barbara in season 2, Dustin will be trying to clear Eddie's name in season 5 for Vecna's murders. Based on the BTS photos they've released, it looks like there's a long road ahead for him:

I'm hoping there's a major payoff to this potential arc beyond just clearing Eddie's name. Part of the reason I brought up bullies like Jason and Angela earlier in this review is because I've started to grow sick of seeing the main characters repeatedly getting dumped on while receiving zero credit for putting their lives on the line to save the world. Meanwhile, assholes like Angela and Jason make the main characters lives a living hell, all the while enabled by the people around them, and are either coddled for their behavior (Angela) or memorialized for it (Jason). While I doubt Angela or any characters from Lenora (including Argyle) are coming back for season 5 (though if she does return for some reason, I hope Vecna causes Angela's head to explode), I have a sick feeling that Jason's hold over Hawkins will still be there by season 5, and characters like Dustin will be dealing with the fallout of Jason's crusade. Whether it's in the form of Jason's basketball team taking revenge for their fallen comrade, or Hawkins residents swallowing the propaganda about the Hellfire Club being a Satanic Cult, I expect life isn't going to be easy for a while. That's not even getting into how Dustin will still be grieving Eddie's death and having to put up with the slander thrown Eddie's way.

What I'm hoping for is that, during all of this, there is an eventual reckoning for Hawkins. That the residents are forced to come face-to-face with the lies, the bigotry, the prejudices, the bullying, and all the uglier aspects rooted in the town's social structures and history. I'm not going to be happy if the townsfolk remain passive while reacting to the horrors around them as the main characters are forced to do the heavy lifting in keeping Hawkins safe. We've seen that for 4 seasons now. It's old and tired. The status quo needs to be broken in a major way that forces changes in Hawkins which will actually stick. The show has hinted in season 4 that it could go in this direction, especially with Vecna destroying the town and opening a large gate, and I'm hoping season 5 makes the most of it.

There are plenty of stories out there that have done this. J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings did this with the Scourging of the Shire where the Hobbits had their lands decimated by Saruman and his men, and were forced to take up arms and become self-reliant in fighting back and no longer remaining isolated from the world around them. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood also did something similar where the main characters were forced into a reckoning with how the nation of Amestris was formed, as well as the corruption rooted in its government, and make hard but necessary changes that would bring peace to the world and allow for a better future. That is the kind of arc I hope Stranger Things explores with Hawkins in the last season. Not just having the main characters receive credit for defeating Vecna and the Upside Down, but actually having the residents of Hawkins play a role in that and go through a permanent change in the process.

As for Dustin.........if he survives the events of season 5, I hope he gets the opportunity to leave Hawkins and pursue his scientific interests in a way that makes him happy and allows him to keep in contact with his friends and family. He deserves that much.

[steampunkforever]

We are, as a culture, once more accepting how much sword and sorcery wizard-van fantasy rules. Maybe this is a consequence of Stranger Things' normification of Dungeons and Dragons, maybe it's just the fact that Frank Frazetta art rips. It doesn't matter, men in loincloths with magic swords rule.

Of course when discussing Sword and Sorcery media, a certain filmic archetype comes to mind, filled with cheap sets, skimpy costumes, and writing terrible enough to earn the film in question the title of "camp." People romanticize this half-remembered sort of film the same way that horror fans with romanticize Chopping Mall or Blood Rage. The thing is that when you come face to face with real-life examples of this sort of fantasy movie, it turns out to be much worse. Such is the case with the 1978 film Deathsport, a movie purportedly supposed to follow up Death Race 2000, a prime example of films that suck.

Despite some very fun concepts and cool swords, the film is a mess. Production itself was apparently a trainwreck, with half the cast and crew whacked out on drugs at any given moment, and preproduction was probably much of the same, considering the incoherent plot. It's a properly bad film, and the reshoots meant to shoehorn in more gratuitous nudity (as well as a room full of hanging christmas lights that also kill you?) do absolutely nothing to make the film better.

When I tell you how bad this is, I do it with full affection. This is a Corman-produced film and he had a specific touch and formula to his stuff that adds a bit of shine to a film that even its stars admit to being mostly exploding motorcycles, titillation, and poor narrative construction. This is a film you'd see Mystery Science Theater 3000 do an episode on, and that lends a charm to it in itself.

Still a very bad movie, would not suggest watching alone and sober.

[sunshine-tattoo]

So Jurassic World Dominion has some really good pieces but it would have done so much better as a TV series like the original stranger things.

Because stranger things is effectively three different genres all happening at once but it doesn't feel weird due to good timing and separation of the plotlines until everything is ready to come to a header.

Dominion also has three different genres as plotlines but because of the film's time frame they feel muddied and not nearly flushed out enough.

This was a movie that wanted to be good and thoughtful but was put into the jurassic park "running from dinos" box.

Which is so sad because the book version of this world actually has a lot of elements they were trying for in this movie. Like political intrigue and the real risks of science under capitalism.

The camp cretaceous series does a pretty solid job at bringing this more to the forefront.

And their new series, chaos theory, really drives it home.

But both are still animated series for young people and I wish these was an R rated live action series that bridges the gap between these two.

All that being said, I really love that the film actually tries to give real respect to all the iterations of this franchise.

And how the characters really feel genuine and three dimensional.

I was prepared to go into this movie to hate it. Yet I think it actually might be my favorite after the OG '93 film.

Also. Kayla is an absolute hottie and I need her to sit on my face.

[jen-with-a-pen]

If You Go, I Go

summary: It's Bucky's last night before deployment. The evening does not go the way Steve, nor Bucky, thought it would.

pairings: complicated and closeted stucky

warnings: angst, loneliness, feeling the need to sacrifice yourself for preserum!steve, pining, closeted stucky, bisexual stucky, sad steve, messing with canon and adding some of comic canon in whoops

word count: 3.1k

a/n: literally this entire thing was written directly after seeing the gif above. My brain kicked into angsty overdrive and this was born. enjoy my first fic of the new year!

Please consider reblogging my work! Reblogging helps others to be able to enjoy mine and other writers' works! Help me help you help others and reblog <3

read here on AO3! | My Masterlist

gif by @daniel-bruehl | dividers by @firefly-graphics | beta read by the lovely Jane @lunarbuck

The Expo was loud. Louder than what Steve was used to.

Everything was more than what he was used to. So much going on in so many different directions– lights, sounds, voices, smells. Overstimulated was an understatement.

He wanted to be anywhere but there, standing in front of the open-air Science Expo. His  clammy hands were stuffed into his wool pockets while he tried not to heave, fending off yet another anxiety attack. He only wanted Bucky. 

But, for the pièce de résistance, Bucky invited Bonnie and Connie to join them, two doe-eyed gals in pretty skirts and zero interest in anything else. How Steve saw them, though, were two strangers hanging off of Bucky’s arms, vying for a kiss from the Sergeant. 

The thought of it made Steve’s stomach churn like the butter his Ma used to make.

He had to admit, though, the girls weren’t complete strangers. Steve knew them from grade school. They lived around the street corner from the doctor’s office he unwillingly frequented. They’d say hi to him and were nice and polite, but that was it. They were only nice and polite. They, and all the other pretty girls Steve’s age, made it abundantly clear: no self-respecting girl wanted to court the cripple. Hell, for all he knew, if it wasn't for the constant reassurances from his Ma, Bucky could have been getting paid to be his friend– too fed up that even war sounded like a better reprieve than being around Steve.

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t want the girls there. Nor was it that he secretly wished it was only him and Bucky. In fact, it definitely wasn’t because it was his last night with Bucky before he shipped off to camp McCoy a thousand and one miles away.

Well, maybe it was. 

"Stevie, you okay?" 

The grounding timbre of Bucky’s voice derailed Steve’s spiraling train of thought. He hadn't realized he'd zoned out until Bucky clapped a strong hand on his shoulder. 

Bucky's brow knitted with concern, baby blues searching Steve's with earnest worry. He reached his hand out and delicately wiped his cheek, his thumb resting on Steve’s cheek for a second longer as his hand cupped his face. Steve looked down at his two-sizes-too-big coat. Small dark spots had stained his woolen lapel sourced from the dampness on his cheek. He swallowed thickly, embarrassment and shame creeping up into his throat alongside the heat in his cheeks. 

Steve hadn't realized he’d started to cry.

He pathetically raised a bulky sleeve to his face and rubbed at his cheeks hard enough that the wool felt like barbed wire scratching at his china-like skin. He cursed, blinking towards the night sky to rid his eyes of any more tears. They didn’t seem to stop until he bit his lip hard, holding back the bile rising in his throat. He wished he were anywhere but there. 

He wished he could go with Bucky.

"'M fine, Buck," he mumbled, finally looking at his friend and forcing a pained smile onto his lips. "Gonna miss you, is all."

Bucky looked at him for a second more, eyes darting for a moment to Steve’s lips. Worry still plagued his features as he pulled Steve into the familiar embrace they both knew all too well. Pulling away, Bucky slung his arm around Steve’s shoulders and sighed.

“Well, punk, don’t worry ‘bout me. I’ll come back in one piece,” he looked down again at Steve and winked. “I’ll come back to you.”

Steve blushed, smiling at the ground. He could almost see himself in Bucky’s newly shined shoes, the black leather reflecting the festival lights from above as they made their way to meet the girls. Bucky paused, sliding his arm back and raising his hand to wave at the girls. The weight lifted off of Steve’s shoulders, and he shuddered, the cool air sneaking its way back into his body. 

“Wait here, I’ll go get ‘em,” Bucky said, breaking away from Steve’s side and jogging to the gigantic statue the girls were huddled under. He watched Bucky as the same sinking feeling climbed back into his stomach, blinking back any more tears threatening to leave his eyes again. 

Pansy. That’s what he was. Not a man, not even enough to be anybody. Nothing but a –

“Steve?” Bucky called, breaking through his clouded thoughts once more. “These are our lovely dates for this evening.” 

Steve forced himself to meet Bucky’s eyes, only to be distracted by the two girls dangling off the Sergeant’s arms. Each of them smiled at their arm candy, doe eyes scanning his chiseled features and competing for who could grin the toothiest. 

Steve stifled a laugh when he saw the lipstick between their teeth. 

Bucky gestured his locked arms to Steve. He forced a smile, sticking out a hand for the girls to shake. The girls briefly broke their focus to acknowledge him, looking down at his extended hand. Their arms only gripped tighter to Bucky, a poor attempt to save face and keep their smiles from faltering. Steve sighed, knowing this would be the beginning of the end. He retracted his hand and returned it to his coat pocket, instead nodding to both girls and giving Bucky a defeated look. 

Bucky chewed his lip, his brow knitting together at the pained look in Steve’s eyes. Turning to Bonnie, the blonde with neatly pinned curls and a pretty red dress, he wiggled free from her grasp and nodded to Steve. 

“Bonnie, this is my best guy, Steve. Steve, you ‘member Bonnie?” 

Bonnie’s strained smile didn’t reach as far as she intended it to. Her eyes stared blankly at Steve as if processing and accepting him as the fate she’d succumbed to by agreeing to be his date. Her eyes flicked over to Connie, imaginary daggers shooting straight into her friend’s chest.

This oughta be fun.

“Oh, Steve Rogers! I remember you!” She greeted in feigned excitement as she instinctively stuck out her hand to him. He gulped as he shot a quick, pleading look to Bucky, who mouthed, ‘kiss it.’ He reached his clammy hand out to hers, chapped lips meeting her delicately smooth skin. His nostrils flared, stomach churning as he inhaled her sickeningly sweet perfume. Choking back a gag, he glanced up at her as her smile turned into a subtle cringe. He looked at Bucky, whose hand around Connie’s shoulder seemed to tighten as he gnawed on his lip, the slightest bit of envy filling his gaze as it flicked from Steve to Bonnie. 

“Nice t’ meet you, doll,” Steve sighed as he dropped Bonnie’s hand, his own snaking right back into his pocket. 

“Well, now that we all know each other, how about gettin’ to Stark’s Show?” Bucky suggested. “I heard he’s gone all out this year!” 

“Yeah, it should be starting soon!” Connie added.

Bucky smiled, Steve’s heart fluttering as he gave Connie his arm and began leading the group into the middle of the Expo. Bonnie trotted along next to him, wiggling her way onto his other arm as Bucky continued to tell them about Stark, his groundbreaking inventions, and his theories on how the man alone could alter the war as they knew it. 

Steve trailed behind the trio, chuckling to himself as he listened to Bucky’s ramblings. The girls seemed to give less of a damn, bored out of their minds but hiding it better than Steve thought they would. He smirked to himself, Bucky’s excited voice taking him back to nights shared in their tiny Brooklyn apartment. The long nights they would both lie in bed, Steve forcing himself to stay awake to savor Bucky’s voice as he talked about science, books, and his theories on his favorite radio program, Avenger.

Steve would give anything for one more night like that.

As they approached the main stage, Steve's stomach rumbled. He cursed, realizing he forgot to eat again. How disappointed Bucky would be if he knew. He looked ahead to Bucky, who had turned over his shoulder with a concerned, furrowed brow. 

‘You okay?’ he mouthed. 

‘Snack,’ Steve responded as he pointed a bony thumb at the vendor next to him. Bucky nodded, his eyes lingering on Steve a second longer before returning to the girls.

Digging around for pocket change, Steve approached the vendor. The sugary scent of candied almonds and caramel corn wafted into his nose, his mouth watering as he pulled the coins out from the depths of his pockets. The girl at the booth smiled at him, all freckles and gap teeth. He ordered a small bag of almonds, his face flushing as his hand grazed hers offering the money. He swore he felt like he turned as red as her hair. 

Get it together, Rogers.

He thanked her and dove back into the ocean of people, popping a few almonds into his mouth as he wove through the bodies finding Bucky. He spotted a waving hand clad in Army green poking out of the sea of people, and he beelined for it. 

“Glad ya made it back, Stevie- er, Rogers,” Bucky fumbled, quickly glancing at both girls to see if they caught the name. 

Steve’s heart, butterflies and all, died a little bit more when Bucky corrected himself. The familiar lump in his throat and the burn in his eyes threatened to return as he tried to ignore the nickname he knew all too well. 

As Steve opened his mouth, music erupted from the loudspeakers surrounding the stage, announcing Howard Stark’s arrival as he forced one of the showgirls against his lips. His voice boomed over the music as the crowd applauded. The girls stared at the millionaire mogul in awe– Bucky included– as he introduced his latest feat of the flying car. 

Steve popped more candies into his mouth, chewing as he listened absently at the selling points of the flying car. Bonnie looked back over her shoulder, her brow twitching upon laying eyes on Steve standing behind her as if remembering he still existed. She gave him a once over before turning back to the stage, her smile and awe returning to her face as quickly as it had disappeared. He paused mid-chew, looking down at his snack. Out of the sheer good manners his mother taught him, he extended his arm over her shoulder, the bag crinkling as he offered some to his so-called ‘date.’ 

In an instant, her demeanor dropped again, she snapped her head back to him. She eyed the bag of candied almonds as her nose scrunched, recoiling as if he’d offered her a handful of garbage. He looked at her in confusion, only to be met with the same daggers she’d shot Connie earlier being fired directly at him. 

He slowly retracted his arm and looked at the candies. They were the same sugar-coated almonds he’d been eating the entire time, not some moldy science experiment. He blinked as he felt the sting return to his eyes, tears blurring his vision. The lump appeared suddenly back in his throat, thicker and heavier. He couldn’t swallow, couldn’t see, couldn’t speak.

He’d lost his appetite. 

He didn’t care about the Expo, about Stark, about the stupid flying car that didn’t seem to fly at all. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to be with the girls, with the people, not even with Bucky. 

He wanted to be alone. 

He bit his quivering lip, turning on his heel as the crowd erupted again, his eyes searching for any escape route he could find. He stood up on his toes to scan over another couple behind him when he froze at the illuminated Uncle Sam poster at the back of the crowd. 

‘I WANT YOU!’

A sign. Literally and figuratively. 

If Bucky had to go, he would too. 

The candy-striped bag crumpled in his hands as he shouldered his way through the crowd, the Uncle Sam poster a beacon of light as he made his way toward the recruitment station. The closer he got, the faster his legs seemed to work, carrying him to the entryway of the station. He’d barely crossed the threshold before a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder.

“Steve, hey, you’re kinda missin’ the point of a double date,” Bucky chided, turning Steve to face him. Hurt plagued his features as his brow knitted further, eyes searching Steve’s for an answer. 

“And I think Connie’s missin’ a mirror with all that lipstick in her teeth,” Steve shot back. 

“What the hell, Steve,” he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the entryway to the side of the station, shaking him slightly, “What’s gotten into you t’night, huh?” 

Anger flooded into Steve’s veins as he grabbed Bucky’s hand and threw it off of him. He huffed, throwing the crumpled bag of wasted candies onto the ground and stomping on them.

“You don’t understand, Buck!” Steve’s voice shook, “You’ll never understand!” 

“Understand what, Steve?” Bucky gritted. 

“That if you go, I go!” 

His chest heaved as tears spilled down his cheeks. His hands shook as much as his voice as they turned into fists at his side.

“If you go to war, I go to war. If you leave, then–” he choked out a sob, “then I have nothing left! I am nothing! Without you, I’m nothing!” He sputtered, choking down air as he grabbed Bucky by the arms. “I didn’t wanna spend tonight with the girls, I wanted to spend it with you!”

He sobbed again, pulling Bucky to him. The dark green coat had dampened with the blond’s tears. Bucky stood still, arms at his side, speechless.

“It’s ‘cause I love you.” 

His confession, muffled and final, brought Bucky back to reality. He continued to cry, gasping lightly as he felt Bucky’s heavy arms slowly wrapping around him, squeezing tightly around his friend. Bucky bent his head to Steve’s, soft blond hair gracing his lips as he pressed a kiss to Steve’s head. Steve shook again and paused, slowly looking up to find Bucky’s eyes welling with tears of his own. He swallowed thickly, placing another shaky kiss on Steve’s forehead.

“I love you too, punk.” 

Bucky wrapped his arms further around Steve’s waist, hoisting him up past the tips of his toes as he brought the blond to his lips. All of the air left Steve’s lungs, his eyes gaping widely as Bucky pushed into him. Bucky’s arms held onto Steve tightly, keeping him stable as his head spun wildly. Steve pushed into the kiss, locking his arms around Bucky’s neck. His fingers carded into the Sergeant’s hair, nearly knocking his hat off. Steve couldn’t help but grin at the soft moan he elicited from Bucky’s chest, savoring every second before Bucky broke from him. 

Bucky placed Steve gently back on the ground. Steve sniffled, shaking his head as his mouth floundered to find anything to say. Bucky struggled too, reaching for Steve’s hand before he suddenly froze.

“Bucky? Bucky! Are we still going dancing?” Connie called. Bucky snapped to attention, turning on his heel and putting on his best ‘I didn't just kiss my best friend’ face. 

“Y-yes! Of course, ladies!” He responded, his facade dissipating the instant he turned back to Steve. Concern dotted his features, making Steve’s heart pound harder. 

“Look, Stevie, make me one promise,” He pleaded, gathering Steve’s hands into his own, “Wait for me, will ya?” 

Steve’s face fell. Confusing, hurt, all boiling in his blood, spilling over into the mess of emotions he felt swirling in his head. This is all Bucky could say after that? 

“What do y’mean, Bucky? I’m going in there to enlist. I’m going to fight. If you go, I go!”

Bucky faltered, grip loosening on Steve’s hands. He licked his lips, weight shifting as he glanced over his shoulders. Nobody paid them any mind, not even the girls. He turned back to Steve and set his jaw. 

“Steve, this is war. This isn’t some back alley fight where I’m gonna come save your sorry ass again. There’re jobs here! You can stay at the apartment or work for the pharmacy. You can–”

“I can, what, work in the factories? Collect scrap metal until God says when?” He yanked his hands away from Bucky’s hold. 

“Why not? It’s safe! It means you’ll be here! It means I won’t have to worry about you–”

“Bucky!” Steve’s voice boomed, snapping Bucky’s attention back to him. He silently fumed, biting his lip to speak any further. He felt like he drew blood when Steve reached for his hands this time. His small palms paled in comparison to Bucky’s, but he managed to hold them as well as Bucky held his. He tugged at Bucky’s fingers, commanding the Sergeant to look at him. 

“There are men laying down their lives ‘nd I got no right to do anything less than them, less than you. This isn’t about me, or you, or anyone, or anything. This is about doing what’s right,” he said. His thumbs ran over Bucky’s knuckles, gracing the veins in his

hands he’d studied so many times before when he drew in his sketchbook.

Bucky scoffed. “And you got nothing to prove, huh?”

“Sarge!” Bonnie’s voice rang. “We goin’ dancing or what?”

Bucky gritted a sigh through his teeth, plastering another fake smile once more. 

“Yes, we are!” 

Steve blanched, letting go of Bucky’s hands and crossing them over his chest.

Bucky turned back to Steve, who stood with a shoulder to him, side-eyeing the Sergeant with hurt in his eyes. Bucky could tell Steve’s lip was quivering no matter how hard he bit down on it.

Bucky dropped his head, knowing it would be the last time he’d see Steve. He shook his head, looking for the right words to part with in light of their newly confessed love.

“Promise me one thing then,” he requested, pulling Steve into a hug. His arm slung around his shoulders, patting him as Steve mimicked his motions almost half-heartedly. 

“What?” His voice muffled into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

Bucky released him from the hug, turning to leave for the girls when, Steve stopped him, grabbing him by the tie. His bony, nimble fingers reached up, straightening the silk fabric, smoothing down his lapel, and fixing the gold buttons donning it. He smiled weakly, looking up at the Bucky one last time. 

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with ya.”

[gardenofnoah]

like real people do

for @medusashima's rise of the dead collab. i blacked out and wrote this in like 4 hours because something about a fucked up prompt speaks to the grimy little freak that scratches around in my skull

wc: 1.8k ish. tags: MDNI, dark content, zombie!au, death. angst no comfort (unless you think cannibalism is comforting, i don't know your life), blood, graphic depiction of infection/injury, gn reader. read at your own risk thx love u

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a virus of unknown origin. researchers hypothesize that it was a spillover transmission event—the wrong rat stumbled across the wrong person at just the right time. some new, distant cousin of the rabies virus, with unexpected symptoms—most notably, the consumption of uninfected people by the infected. some suspected this was due to the genetic make up of the virus itself—it seemed to be fine tuned for longevity, and targeted specific motor functions controlled by the certain portions of the brain. this, combined with the rare psychosis symptom reported to be associated with rabies, may cause an uncontrollable compulsion to spread the infection, or, as others postulated, could convince the brain that uninfected bodies were a remedy for its suffering. 

at least that was the hypothesis, when the researchers were alive to articulate it. 

with the authoritative voice of science effectively silenced, there was more than enough room for conspiracy theories and hysteria to wiggle in and take hold. it was around that time that the media began to circulate the "zombie" rhetoric, and with no scientific name or official explanation (or government sanctioned placation) in place, an official zombie outbreak took shape. the violence that followed was as deadly as the outbreak itself, and served as another painfully efficient route of transmission. whoever lived through the war in the street died of the virus shortly thereafter. there'd been doomsday folks to warn of the end of times for as long as there'd been a time to be alive in. it was strange, then, when they'd fallen silent too. 

you and kento had joined in with a ragtag group of strangers early on—with strength in numbers, you successfully isolated yourself in an old, abandoned cabin in the woods a few miles south of town. you got lucky enough to have a few in your group that some construction experience—before you knew it, you had a fairly well reinforced fortress, where you could continue your game of chicken with death. from there, you could ignore the fact that fewer and fewer of your newfound troop came back with each expedition for food and supplies. 

there were books to read there, and if you let yourself, you could even find some joy in cooking meals with whatever kento could find in the pantry. he'd wake you up between moth-bitten sheets with breathless kisses, the two of you just grateful to have the opportunity of another day together. when he dragged you out of bed and twirled you around the creaky floorboards, you could pretend the apocalypse outside of your fenced in oasis was little more than a scary story. sprawled across his chest in the afterglow of some indulgence far removed from your reality, you could ignore the way death lingered on the outskirts of your camp. 

you could ignore it, until it was your turn to fetch the necessities. 

it was fine until it wasn't, as most things tended to be. you'd located a gas station that your group had missed on previous trips—a little farther out, but with how remote it was, it wasn't likely that it had been completely ransacked. if nothing else, you could figure out how to siphon any gas left in the tanks, and hope it was enough to get the old work truck left in front of your fortress running again. if you were mobile, your chances of survival would raise exponentially.

you'd tried to jimmy the door open with your shoulder as quietly as possible, but time and neglect had caused the wood frame to swell and distort around the metal. you grit your teeth when kento put a boot to the door. splinters of wood and glass shards flew as the scrape of metal rattled your bones. for a sickening moment, all was silent. and then you heard the screeching, and the dragging of rotting limbs against asphalt. 

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"fuck, fuck," you grit through your teeth, arms looped under his armpits as you drag him behind the checkout counter and into the first open door with the latch still intact. a storage closet, apparently.

you set him down for a moment, and it's—really, really not good. there's a deep laceration in his slide from a particularly nasty piece of glass. it's nearly eviscerated him.

you don't have the opportunity to fully process what that might mean—all at once, it feels like someone has lit your hand on fire. when you look down, you see a perfect outline of human teeth across the back of your hand. 

you reel back from kento. "oh fuck."

you have no idea what to do, looking around wildly as if the storage closet holds the answers to this god forsaken outbreak. and it might, you realize, when you spot an extension cord, coiled up on one of the shelves.

before you can even make sense of your own actions, you're tying one end of the cord to an exposed pipe sticking out of the brick wall, and the other around your neck. like this, your range of motion is just limited enough to keep you away from the door, and away from kento. 

but in your haste, you haven't packed his wound. he's going to bleed out at your feet. if you untie yourself, you're probably going to eat him. he's dead either way.

as if he senses your realization, he meets your eyes for the first time.

"where?" he rasps.

it's a moment before you can find your voice. "my hand."

he sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. "i'm so sorry, my love."

"why are you sorry?"

"it's my fault," he's too quiet, and far too uncertain to match the kento that's carried you through the last year of this outbreak, "i drew them to us."

you shake your head, but you're silent. wanting so badly to find the right words, and having a hard time getting your brain to catch up to the current moment. he was upright and steadfast, and now he's staining the tile beneath him. all in the matter of a few seconds.

"you need to untie yourself, love."

"no." you say firmly, barely giving it a second thought.

“you’re just going to watch me rot until you starve to death?” he laughs harshly, choking on it—sputtering a little. he takes a deep breath and he, despite you mentally willing him to stop, continues. 

“no,” he rasps, letting his eyes close, “don’t do that. you can have me—it’s okay.” 

“stop,” it leaves you with a groan, squeezing your own eyes shut and shaking your head, as if you could dislodge his words, “stop—” 

“this won’t end with you and i,” you hear him reach for you, limp arm dragging across the floor. he falls short—you can't bring yourself to meet him halfway, even if you had the range of motion to do it. “you know that, don’t you? locking yourself in here won’t change that.” 

and he just keeps talking, keeps prying open the wound you can’t see. "i just want you to make it out, my love. in case they can find a cure."

you can’t answer him. you want to laugh in his face, you want to scream at him and shake him. but you can't do anything—can't even tell him that you don't want to make it out without him, because when you look down at your hand again, you find that the tissue surrounding the bite has turned necrotic far too quickly—as if you were watching yourself rot, sped up or on loop. you know what comes next. 

you know you’re out of time.

the burn radiates up to your neck. your vision blurs a bit with the pain, and then with hot tears as it hits you—these are the final moments of your life. you wonder what you ever did to deserve to watch the love of your life bleed out in front of you. what could have been so bad, to then be forced to desecrate his corpse.  

“ken,” you choke, curling in on yourself, chin dropping to your chest. it’s an animal attempt at self-soothing—like a house cat that knows the end is here, you feel the instinct to isolate—to protect the others around you—even now. you are reduced to only primal senses: fear, grief, love. the need to survive. to ensure the survival of those you love, even in the final moments.

he’s fading just as quickly, but he’s stubborn. 

“c’mere my love,” he slurs, blinking slow, “it’s alright.” 

against all of your fleeting senses, you find yourself unraveling the cord from around your neck. if you looked down, you’d see that your arm is now blackened to the elbow. 

some part of you already knows, though, so you don’t bother. 

you’re focused on his face, through your tears—the blue eyes that hold yours despite the puddle of blood that you now crawl through. the smell is nauseating, but so is everything else about this—you feel it soak through your tattered jeans as you pull yourself toward him on your three remaining limbs. 

you stop when you’re over top of him, breathing heavy and dripping tears and drool onto his face. he doesn’t mind, and you’re not sure he can even feel it anymore with the way he’s looking at you like nothing about this is abnormal. 

“ken,” whispered, because one last secret between you is a luxury you feel entitled to, “i’m afraid.” 

“i know, my love,” there’s a soft smile on his face that wraps around your heart like barbed wire, “one more kiss? before we meet again.” 

“are you fucking crazy—” 

“please,” he croaks, and you see the fear mirrored on his face for the first time, “please. just one.”

you shake your head stubbornly and yet you reach for him, hands on both sides of his face. you ignore the way you see every one of your veins in your periphery, bold and darkened with decay, pulsing and searing as they trail up your shoulder. with the way you feel it creep up the side of your face, you imagine you have only a minute at most before the virus reaches your brain. 

“i love you,” he breathes against your lips, and you can taste it on your tongue—his love and his leaving, all in three words. if you were a better person, you’d let him go peacefully. 

you think you can feel it, then, when it hits your brain stem. latching on to every nerve, every synapse—choking the life—the willpower— out of you, one cell at a time. 

“please,” he rasps, and you don’t know if he’s begging for you to let him go, or if he's pleading with someone else, now. 

you don’t let yourself deliberate. you drag your lips down his jaw, vision spotty. you hover over the faint pulse of his jugular, hyper aware of how hard his body is fighting to keep him alive right now. feeling the fluttering of arteries, fighting to find something to circulate through themselves.

for a reason you hope you won’t have to justify if there is an afterlife, you open your mouth—whisper one last apologetic declaration of love against his skin—and you bite down. 

you bite until teeth touch teeth again. sinew shreds underneath, and you let it flood your mouth. you hear it when it starts—the death rattle, deep in his chest—and rip yourself away with a piece of him and squelch that should make your stomach turn, but doesn’t. 

he loved me, you think, forcing yourself to swallow. feeling him slide down your throat in some sort of sick last rite—an act of closure that suddenly feels fitting as he struggles to suck down one last breath. he loved me.

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this fic belongs to me (@gardenofnoah). i do not allow anyone to repost, edit, or reproduce this work.