#stranger things science camp

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Science Camp Review

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into the Fire

Synopsis: It's the Summer of 1985, and Dustin is at Camp Know Where, eager to put his knowledge of science and mathematics to work. However, things take a turn for the worse when a mysterious stalker shows up and counselors begin disappearing. Now Dustin is in a race against time to figure out who the culprit is before the camp is closed for good........

Observations:

This is what I'm talking about: Here is a comic that takes certain elements from the show that were given little to no screentime, and proceeds to expand on them in a meaningful way. We get to see what Dustin did during his time at Summer Camp, as well as the circumstances behind meeting Suzie and developing their relationship. We also get an intriguing mystery that pays direct homage to the first Friday the 13th movie while also being its own story. And it's all from Dustin's POV. Yay! 😊

I know I usually wait until the end of my reviews to say whether I'd recommend a comic/tie-in book, but this time I'm giving that opinion early: This comic is a personal favorite, and I strongly recommend checking it out.

The comics I tend to enjoy more (i.e. Zombie Boys, Tomb of Ybwen, Winter Special, The Other Side, Dungeons & Dragons, etc) are ones that either focus on the main characters and their dilemmas, or take place in-between seasons to paint a picture of what was going on during those periods of time. Will's week in the Upside Down, for instance, is something I wanted to see for years, which is why I was happy they wrote a comic focusing exclusively on his POV during the events of season 1. Same thing goes for Dustin and his time at Camp Know Where: Even if it doesn't play an important role in the main arc, it's nice seeing the writers take an obscure event and expand on it so that it could fit into the continuity of the show. I wish they would do this more often instead of writing comics that either focus on characters nobody cares about (Troy and James from The Bully) or introducing brand new characters who will play no part on the show (Francine and Ricky from Six and Into The Fire).

It's nice seeing Dustin embrace his intellect at camp, as well as demonstrating other qualities that make him lovable on the show: His compassion for others, his awkwardness around girls, his bravery, his imagination, and so on. His continuing character development is a joy to watch: From being able to stand up to the bullies at the beginning of the comic.....

...to befriending Steven and getting him to come out of his shell.....

...to crafting his own D&D Campaign as Dungeon Master (something Mike's usually been in charge of in the past) and drawing on his own experiences to make it a fun adventure....

....to meeting Suzie at camp and bonding with her (despite a few awkward moments beforehand)....

....to even forming a party to take on the culprit.

Contrary to what the camp counselors say about the kids at the beginning, Dustin's never been interested in gaining knowledge to elevate his popularity, but because he's genuinely interested in topics that fascinate him. He's also someone with a strong moral compass and believes in doing the right thing even when it's tough. All of which works when he's the one leading the mission to root out the culprit who's causing problems at the camp.

Speaking of which, as mentioned earlier, the main conflict centers around an insidious figure who specifically targets camp counselors:

The mystery is taken straight from the first Friday the 13th movie, with a few plot elements changed around. There's even a tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie in the comic:

I won't give away the identity of the culprit or their motivations in case people want to read this comic for themselves, but I will say I was satisfied with how it ended.

Something else I liked was how they wrote the bullies. Early on, the counselors remark that since a lot of the kids coming to this camp are nerds, this is their first time getting to be on top of the social pyramid. Two of those kids (Trevor and Dean) act antagonistic towards Dustin and Steven initially, and it's their goading that leads Dustin to create his own D&D Campaign to spite them. However, to Dustin's surprise, they actually express interest in wanting to play his campaign because they secretly love the game and are implied to be outcasts back at home who are looking for friends who share their interests.

On top of that, when push comes to shove and there's a real danger of the camp being shut-down because of the attacks on counselors, Trevor and Dean willingly join up with Dustin to help track down the culprit, showing they care as much about the camp as Dustin does. It's small, but it gives some depth to them, and it's a nice subversion of the one-dimensional bullies from the show (*cough* Angela *cough*).

Suzie also gets her time to shine in this comic. They introduce her as being shy and awkward around Dustin when they first meet, but once they get to know each other, she becomes fiercely supportive of him and helps rally the other campers around Dustin. Their interactions in the comic are sweet, and they thankfully avoid using the cringe-inducing nicknames of Dusty-bun and Suzie-poo 😖. We also get to see what inspired the duet they sing in the season 3 finale:

I'm curious if the Duffer Brothers will bring back Suzie for season 5, and if she'll finally find out about the Upside Down. In the past, she's usually made brief appearances where she acts as a plot-device to give the characters vital information (Planck's Constant in season 3, or the coordinates to Dr. Owen's silo in season 4) while being left in the dark about what's really going on. I get the feeling she might serve that role again in the final season, but I'd be a lot more interested if they expanded her character beyond that role, and either have her integrate with the Party and get to know the other main characters better, or give her more depth beyond being Dustin's smart girlfriend and having a stereotypical Mormon upbringing.

As for Dustin, I don't know if he and Suzie are intended to be endgame or not. It could go either way. It depends on whether or not Suzie is clued into everything, or if Dustin even survives (I know people keep saying the Duffer Brothers don't have the guts to kill off their main characters, but considering it's the last season and they need to keep the stakes high, I am betting on several main characters biting the dust before it's over).

On a final note, I liked how the comic highlighted Dustin's relationship with Steve and why it's important to him:

If Dustin ends up dead in season 5, the emotional fallout from Steve is going to be devastating. Same for Dustin if Steve dies (which A LOT of fans have been predicting for years now ☹️.)

It all depends on what happens in season 5.

[353dcys]

love the thought of mike and el being secret haters (together)

they get home after a long event and it’s silence until el finally puts her purse down and says “did you SEE her dress?” “oh YEAH totally inappropriate. might as well worn a sign that says i dated the groom”

[zannolin]

attending a potentially haunted summer camp and solving mysteries whilst engaging in an ill-fated summer fling while the eventual end of the season and return to the crushing realities of our everyday lives looms over us all could fix me, i think

[jonathanbyersphd]

They skipped to 2 days later in s4 because watching Steve pull Dustin away from Eddie’s dead body would’ve been too emotionally devastating 😊

[gayofthefae]

@micuko It's true; they make a point of every character in a relationship express current or past attraction to at least one other person, with the exceptions of Mike and Will.

Hop's ex-wife and the librarian, Lonnie and Bob, Phoebe Cates, Max, Ralph Macchio, Robin, Tammy Thompson, Steve and Tom Cruise, Halloween party girl dressed as KISS

Even Karen and Carol have Billy, and ERICA makes her action figures make out! EV.ERY.ONE. (except Murry, shoutout aroace or gay king)

Not only does he not express attraction to girls - he expresses repeated confusion at the idea

- but they go out of their way to make him the odd one out by making sure that everyone else does.

(Well, not the odd one out. The canonically gay guy also expresses 0 attraction to girls and repeated confusion at the idea)

Mike has never shown attraction towards girls, we have the rest of the gang mentioning girls, female celebs etc, but Mike and Will never do that. So yes I think it's fairly obvious Mike is a closeted gay boy in the 80s.

[becca-alexa]

I hope Hopper doesn't do anything stupid.

[irondadfics]

Hi so I've been trying to find this fic where peter is coming back from a science camp or something driving one of Tony's cars and he gets in a car accident and thinks tony will be more worried about the car and a bystander comes up to him and ask if he's OK and if he can call anyone and he calls tony and that's about all I remember

(I would so appreciate it if you found this for me) <3

this is for you. Enjoy!

Nothing So Valuable by JAWorley

"Why don't you call your dad? Your dad can't be too mad. Insurance will pay for this. If it was my son in a crash I'd just be glad that he's ok," the stranger says. As they stand on the side of the highway, Peter thinks that he really does need to call Mr. Stark and describe the destruction of his expensive car, there's no way around that. But it's not as easy as the man said, because Mr. Stark isn't his dad, as much as Peter would like that. Therefore Mr. Stark can be as mad at Peter as he wants to. OR Peter crashes Tony's car, but when Tony shows up, Peter realizes some things that he hadn't understood before.

[strangerquinns]

Deadly Reunion | Chapter 4  

Eddie Munson x female!reader // a stranger things apocalypse au

summary: You and Eddie have been best friends since childhood. But when the outbreak happened five years ago, you were torn from one another in the chaos. but now you’re left alone, after your group was killed by another radical crew, leaving you to seek out what was once home. // zombie apocalypse Hawkins set in 1993

warnings: angst + adult themes w/ descriptions of violence, blood, torture + other zombie apocalypse related issues

word count: 2.5k+

⪻ previous chapter | next chapter ⪼ | stranger things masterlist

Eddie’s arms tightened around you as he held you close against his frame. As your arms did the same, you could feel him shaking within your arms. You weren’t sure if it was the shock or excitement of him seeing you. But you knew that your mind and body couldn’t catch up with what was happening. After the long, tiring, and deadly journey to get back to Hawkins – you were finally back with him. The last piece of your old life that seemed to be left after all these years.

After a few moments, Eddie pulled back and grasped each side of your face. The rough calloused feel of his palms against your sun-kissed skin was oddly comforting. Your eyes closed for a few seconds, causing stray tears to cascade down your cheeks before they opened again. Staring intensely into his large doe eyes.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe it,” Eddie spoke, even with the bandana tied across his face, it was obvious to see him smiling. Especially with his dark eyes sparkling with a life that had been missing for a while.

“Fuck!” a deep voice groaned from behind the both of you.

Turning slightly to look over your shoulder, you saw the man you’d knocked down before stumbling up from the ground along with the assistance of the other woman. His hand cupped over his face with it scrunched up in pain. You took a few steps back away, stepping away from Eddie, as the man came to his full height.

Though these people were obviously with Eddie it didn’t mean you trusted them. The man before you had long, dark brown curls that nearly fell along his shoulders with sun-kissed strands of blonde through them. He was almost as tall as Eddie, possibly only a couple inches shorter. But larger when it came to his body, his shoulders spanning wider and his arms appearing bigger.

“Did you really have to fuckin’ hit me in the nose?” He spoke with another groan, pulling his hand away from his face. It took a few seconds to realize that it was none other than Steve Harrington. Your eyes widened to see another familiar face.

“Sorry, didn’t exactly know who you were,” You spoke with defensiveness to your tone. Eyes glared slightly as you looked back toward the former King of Hawkins High.

“Can’t blame the girl for defending herself, dingus,” The woman beside him spoke, rolling her eyes, before reaching up to pull down the cloth tied around the bottom of her face. Her hand reached out toward you quickly with a smile causing her blue eyes to sparkle with kindness, “Robin, Robin Buckley.”

Your guard slowed slightly as your attention moved away from Steve and toward Robin. You knew of her from high school but couldn’t exactly say that you knew her. She was from the band, and in your Science fifth period. You repeated your name to her as you firmly shook her hand.

“As much as this reunion is nice, we should be heading back to camp. The night is coming,” Nancy spoke, apprehensively looking toward you. “Hopper is going to be worried if we’re not back in time.”

You perked up slightly to the sound of a familiar, “The Chief?”

Eddie nodded his head, stepping up toward you again, hating that there was a small distance between you. He felt like he was in a vivid dream and at any moment you would be retaken from him.

“We have a camp about four miles from here,” Eddie spoke.

“Eddie,” Nancy scolded glaring toward him with wide eyes. She looked toward him for a long moment like they were silently communicating with each other. She gave her head a slight shake, it was subtle, but you didn’t miss it.

“You’re not thinking I’m leaving her out here do you?” Eddie spoke with a harshness to her voice.

“We don’t know if she’s got another camp, let’s not assume,” Nancy spoke with a tight voice. Steve and Robin standing on the sidelines of the conversation.

“I don’t” You answered quickly. Your eyes move from Eddie to Nancy. You didn’t miss the sadness that settled into Eddie’s eyes as he looked down at you. “I-I’m alone.”

“For how long?” Robin asked.

“A long time,” You spoke, body stiffening and signaling that was all the information that you were willing to give. Robin nodded her head, silently understanding.

“She’s coming with us,” Eddie emphasized again.

“She could be bitten or scratched.” Steve said, “We don’t know what we could bring back to Camp, Munson.”

“I’m not bit, and I’m not scratched.” You whispered with a shake of your head, already feeling a heavy sense of unwelcome settling over you.

That small bit of hope you’d felt before was quickly dwindling.

“Doesn’t matter. We don’t know you.” Steve spoke stepping toward you, Eddie quickly moving between you two. “We have a camp that has already been through enough, we don’t need a trespasser messing that up.”

“Steve,” Robin spoke firmly, moving toward him and standing beside Eddie. “Eddie knows her, and are you honestly going to leave someone out here alone? We both know you’d feel guilt the moment you walked away.”

Steve seemed to be having an internal fight with himself before he sighed deeply and shook his head. “Fine. But if Hopper says she’s out, you know you don’t have a choice in the matter.”

He was speaking to Eddie.

Eddie nodded his head before turning to look down at you, “Are you wanting to come back with us?”

You looked at him for a long moment, before answering, “I just traveled halfway across the country to find you, I’m not exactly letting you out of my sight any time soon.”

Eddie chuckled slightly before nodding his head and placing a hand gently on your shoulder. The two of you followed along behind the others heading north through the woods. With each step, your stomach fluttered with nerves.

“So, where did you travel from?” Robin asked after a long tense moment of silence between all of you.

You hesitated for a moment, before speaking, “Tennessee,”

“You were there this entire time?” Eddie asked, his stomach dropping at the thought of you only being a few states away this whole time.

A better outcome than what he’d believed all these years. That you were dead.

“No. My mom and I were in the south mostly. She had family there and thought it would be safer when the outbreak happened. But…we never made it. Instead ended up with a few different groups…traveling through Georgie, Alabama…last place was Tennessee. She wanted to come back home.”

You felt a ball form at the back of your throat as the thoughts of your mother came back to your mind. Over the last few months, you hadn’t given yourself the proper time to grieve her. Instead, focus on getting back to Hawkins and surviving.

A tense silence fell over you all again, a deep frown settling on Eddie’s lips. He could tell from your body language that something was wrong. But would wait for a more private moment to ask.

“You traveled through all that and hadn’t become a Flayed,” Steve spoke, his tone indicating his disbelief.

“Obviously,” You snapped.

“I think you’re pretty badass to make it this far on your own.” Robin smiled “Might be a piece to the group that we need.”

The rest of the walk was in tense silence as you all wadded through the forest that surrounded Hawkins. You were confused about where they were leading you, no longer expertly familiar with the town you’d grown up in. But when you came across the reinforced fence and the building came into view. You knew exactly where you were.

“You turned the Lab into an encampment?” You asked.

Eddie reached to pull down his bandana, giving a clearer view of his face. Seeing the shadow of a beard growing along his jawline. The years that you two have been apart showing with how grown he looked. It was the boy you’d fallen in love with still; you could see that with the cheeky smile, he’d give you. But with a cringle around his eyes that seemed to be more defined as he neared his thirties.

“Little bit more than a camp,” Eddie smirked, guiding you along the fence till you all rounded toward the front.

You quickly noticed the stations and boardwalk that aligned the top of the reinforced wall. People with guns strapped to their bodies paced along the lengths, clearly on patrol. The wall made it hard for you to see beyond that, except for the top of the old Lab building peeking over the top. Robin and Steve waved to a few people up on the wall as you all neared the front of the gate.

You stopped, along with the others, the moment you came to the large double doors that led into the camp. Standing at the top of the wall was a man that didn’t seem familiar. But with the way she glared down at you, he made your stomach roll.

“Seems you brought home a straggler,” The man spoke, his voice deep and heavy.

“She’s an old friend,” Eddie spoke quickly, the cheekiness gone, instead replaced with seriousness. “She’s alone and needs shelter.”

The man chuckled with false humor, “Hopper isn’t gonna like this.”

“I think once he sees who it is, Hopper isn’t gonna give much of a fight.”

The man grumbled slightly before nodding his head toward someone you couldn’t see. Soon the gates began to move with a loud mechanical sound that vibrated harshly against your eardrums. You cringed slightly and only moved when you noticed Eddie do the same. When you walked through the gates of the wall, you gasped loudly at what was in front of you.

“Oh, fuck,” You gasped with widening eyes as the rebuilt town was in front of you. “Y-You live in an Establishment?”

Eddie looked down at you with eyebrows pulled in confusion, “A what?”

“An establishment? A rebuilt town?” You spoke, “Never heard of those.”

“Obviously not, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckled.

“My friend Judy told me she’s seen one before. People that had basically rebuilt and started over,” You spoke with amazement, “I thought she was bullshitting me.”

“It took us a while to get like this,” Eddie spoke, guiding you through and toward the main building. “Took apart some of the old homes and brought the supplies here so we could rebuild. Also moved trailers from Forest Hills to make room for homes, medicine, food storage.”

As Eddie spoke you were able to quickly see what he spoke of. The front lawn of the old Lab was filled with trailers, small buildings, and some tented-off areas. From the distance, you could hear the soft sounds of farm animals.

“Is that a sheep I hear?”

“Yeah,” Eddie smiled “Got ’em from the farms that were left abandoned. We have our own food, though we still must go on patrols and outings for other supplies.”

“This is amazing,” You spoke in shock and amazement, your head swiveling so much you were sure your neck would hurt the next day.

Steve led you all up the path and through the double doors of the Lab. The shock didn’t stop as you’d only noticed then the lights that filled the front lobby and surrounding hallways.

They had electricity.

Eddie laughed and brought his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him more, as he pulled you further into the lobby. “We use this building for housing, more medicine. The Lab was running off its own power source so that’s how we’re able to have electricity. Something shady must’ve been going on here before the outbreak, but it’s become our home…thanks to Hopper.”

“He’s in charge I’m guessing?” You asked.

Eddie nodded his head, “Pull anyone in town that started from the outbreak in. Fortified and built it everything you see from the ground up.”

“Munson!” a voice shouted from the end of the hallway.

The both of you turned your heads toward the source, you jumping slightly from the sudden loud noise. The man walking toward you was a man you were all too familiar with. Another father figure that was in your life growing up. Age had caught up to him with the gray of his hair and beard. But you’d know Jim Hopper even with it being over six years since you’d seen him last. Hopper stopped short the moment he seemed to recognize who was standing beside Eddie. His face paled as if he’d seen a ghost standing in front of him. But it quickly went away before he stalked toward you both.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Hopper spoke as he neared closer.

“Chief,” You spoke with a nervous chuckle, “Long time no see.”

“I’ll fuckin’ say,” He nodded his head with a smile, “Where the hell have you been kid?”

“Long story,” You spoke, fighting the urge to rush toward him.

You might’ve known these people in the past, but times were different now.  

“Found her out on patrol,” Eddie spoke from behind you, “Didn’t think you’d give much of a fight if she were to find shelter here.”

Hopper shook his head with a heavy sigh, “No. Is it just you?”

You nodded your head, “Just me,”

Hopper frowned with a heavy sadness, seeming to understand what you weren’t saying at that moment.

“She’ll have to go through the quarantine process. We can’t blindly let someone into the Camp, no matter if we knew that from before or not.”

“Can’t we just examine and see that she’s not bit? She already swore she wasn’t.” Eddie spoke with a slight panic appearing in his tone.

You looked over your shoulder to Eddie with a slightly worried face.

“You know the rules, Eddie.” Hopper spoke, “We’ll take good care of her, you know this.”

Eddie hesitated for a moment, he was ready to argue more with the man standing in front of him. But he sighed heavily and nodded his head slightly, before stepping toward you more. He stood between you and Hopper, gently grabbing your hands, and bending down so his eyes were more level with yours.

“I’ve to say goodbye for now,” Eddie spoke softly, causing you to stiffen slightly. “But not for long.”

“Eddie,” You whimpered, a fear coming over you that you didn’t understand.

“Shh, shh…it’s ok. I promise. Do you trust me?” Eddie asked, his eyes looking deeply into yours.

You nodded your head before swallowing down the fear that was itching up your throat. Eddie hesitantly stepped away from you, suddenly bringing Hopper back into view along with two others.

Your stomach rolled again knowing why the fear was approaching. But though you were back in your hometown surrounded by a few you know. You were essentially in an unknown place, putting your trust in others. Something you hadn’t had to do for a while.

“Let’s go, kid,” Hopper spoke, before turning and leading you down the hall toward the unknown.

Hope you all enjoyed the next chapter. The reader is in the camp with Eddie, but there are still some things they will have to get over. Leave your thoughts!

reblog + like if you enjoyed it!

[thexphial]

An excellent rundown from The Stranger on JKR's Holocaust denial. As a Jewish woman who lost actual family in the Holocaust, her twisting of the narrative is genuinely offensive and harmful.

Hey all, it’s Vivian. If you've freed yourself from wandering the wasteland of weirdos and robots on x.com, you may not have seen a series of tweets from JK Rowling about trans people and the Nazis. Rowling first questioned if Nazis ever burned research on trans people (they did) and then linked a thread excoriating problematic grandaddies in the field, implying that trans medicine carried on a eugenic or Nazi legacy of human experimentation (it doesn't). I really hate inaccurate history, so I called someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about, University of Washington's Laurie Marhoefer, the leading expert on trans people and the Nazis. You just can't unpack this complicated, nuanced bit of history in a tweet.

A memorial in Tel Aviv dedicated to the LGBTQ victims of the Holocaust. URIEL SINAI / GETTY

Yes, JK Rowling, the Nazis Did Persecute Trans People

We Asked the Leading Expert on the Topicallot Initiative Success in Western  VIVIAN MCCALL Last week, children's book author JK Rowling tweeted some more nonsense about transgender people. In this case, she disputed the fact that Nazis destroyed early research on the community:

Despite Rowling’s dismissal, it is an established fact–not a fever dream–that the Nazis persecuted transgender people. And it’s not the first time this debate has come up on social media. Denying this history is part of an overall effort to discount the discrimination trans people still face in their pursuit of fundamental rights today. It is important to remember the truth and to evaluate what research we have, especially at a time when far-right attacks against trans people are increasing in the United States and elsewhere.

The Looting and Burning

In 1933, the Nazi-supporting youth with the German Student Union and SA paramilitary looted the Institute for Sexual Science (Institut für Sexualwissenschaft) in Berlin. The institute collected the earliest known research on gay and transgender people, and it helped people obtain legal name changes, medical treatments, and “transvestite certificates” from local police that allowed them legally to present as their gender.

Days after the looting, Nazis took to the streets to burn the 20,000 books looters found inside the building, and they placed a bust of the institute’s founder, Magnus Hirschfeld, on the pile in effigy. Hirschfeld was out of the country at the time, but he later died in exile in 1935. 

In the years that followed, trans people were busted under German laws criminalizing sodomy and wearing clothes associated with their birth sex. They were imprisoned in concentration camps before and after the start of World War II. Some were murdered there. Others escaped with their lives.

We’ve Been Here Before 

Since Rowling posted about the subject on x.com, misinformation about trans people in Nazi Germany has circulated widely. Some people have also claimed that the discussion of trans victims of Nazi violence distracts from the “real victims” of National Socialism. In light of this discourse, I called the leading researcher studying trans people and the Nazis, University of Washington professor Laurie Marhoefer.

“My first reaction was, they’re totally wrong,” Marhoefer said of the posts. “They’re not even in the ballpark. My reaction 1.5 was, ‘Oh this is eerie, the same thing happened in Germany two years ago.’”

Back in July of 2022, a graduate biology student named Marie-Luise Vollbrecht, who was known for her “gender critical” anti-trans views, made headlines in Germany.

She tweeted that the Nazis had never targeted trans people, and to say they did “mock[ed] the true victims of the Nazi crimes.” People responded with a hashtag that claimed she denied Nazi crimes. Vollbrecht filed a lawsuit against some of them, claiming their hashtag violated her rights and basically called her a holocaust-denier, which is a crime in Germany. She lost her case, and, after parsing the historical facts, the court officially recognized trans people as Nazi victims. A few months later, Germany’s parliament issued a statement recognizing the queer victims of Nazis and of post-war persecution. 

We Don’t Know Much, but What We Do Know Is Grim 

That ruling aside, this history is by no means complete. Scholars still don’t know much about the lives of trans people in Nazi Germany. Researchers have only recently started to study the subject and to undo false assumptions that cis gay men and transgender women were essentially viewed as the same in the eyes of their oppressors.

Through years of research and the review of published literature, Marhoefer has identified 27 criminal cases involving trans men, women, and gender nonconforming people in Nazi Germany. Locating them is hard work, and it requires parsing heaps of documents in non-keyword-searchable archives to find police files on a very small group of people that did everything in their power to avoid police detection. Marhoefer has 30,000 Gestapo files on their laptop alone. The little we do know, so far, is grim. 

According to research from Marhoefer, beginning in 1933, Hamburg police were instructed to send “transvestites” to concentration camps. A person named H. Bode lived in the city, dated men, dressed in women’s clothes, and once held a “transvestite” certificate. After multiple public indecency and public nuisance convictions, she was sent to Buchenwald, where she died in 1943. Liddy Bacroff, a trans sex worker in Hamburg, died at Mauthausen the same year. Officials sent her there because she was a “morals criminal of the worst sort.” 

Essen police ordered Toni Simon to stop wearing women's clothes, as she had done for years. She served a year in prison for disrespecting police officers, hanging out with gays, and speaking against the regime. The authorities called Simon a “pronounced transvestite,” and a Gestapo officer said placement in a concentration camp was “absolutely necessary.” She ultimately survived. 

Unlike today, Marhoefer said, trans people were never a front-and-center political issue for the Nazis, nor were they rounded up in the same systematic way as Jews or the Roma. Nevertheless, the Nazis did specifically target them for their gender identities. On a fundamental level, transness was incongruous with Nazi ideology, a hyper-masculine fascism that emphasized purity and traditional gender roles. 

The enforcement of moral laws prevented them from living as they did in the Weimar Republic era, the democratic government in power before Adolf Hitler and a time of limited acceptance. Magazines, nightclubs such as the Eldorado, and nascent organizations for trans people were shuttered. The state forced detransition, revoking a permit from at least one person named Gerd R. and driving them to suicide.

“I think we expect the crackdown, and then it’s all over their media, but it’s quiet,” Marhoefer said. “How many in a camp do we have to find before people will be like, ‘Okay, there was persecution?’”

While the Nazis did not often discuss transness much, at least one 1938 book, Ein Beitrag zum Problem des Transvestitismus, provides some idea of how party officials thought about trans people. 

Author Hermann Ferdinand Voss described trans people as “asocial” and likely criminals, which justified “draconian measures by the state.” Nazi rhetoric also linked trans women and pedophilia, which mirrors the contemporary allegations from conservative Republicans about trans and queer people “grooming” children.

When they came after Hirschfeld, who was gay and Jewish, propagandists also framed homosexuality as a Jewish plot to feminize men and to destroy the race. Years before Nazis stormed his institute, the pro-party newspaper Der Stürmer labeled him the most dangerous Jew in Germany, which brings us to another point Rowling shared in a thread on X.

Problematic Granddaddies 

After x.com users told Rowling that Nazis did, in fact, persecute trans people and burn research about them, she accused people who corrected her of valorizing Hirschfeld, rather than doing what they were actually doing, which was simply correcting the record. 

Indeed, Hirschfeld, the granddaddy of the gay rights movement and a pioneer for trans health care, was a eugenicist. Furthermore, the early practitioner of vaginoplasty, Erwin Gohrbandt, who operated on Lili Elbe of The Danish Girl fame, was a Nazi collaborator connected to Dachau.

History rightly doesn’t look back on eugenicists and Nazi collaborators fondly, but those facts have nothing to do with whether or not Nazis persecuted trans people or burned research. 

Apparently unsatisfied with spreading historical misinformation in one instance, Rowling followed-up with a tweet that directed users to a “thread on the persistent claims about trans people and the Nazis.” The thread implies that trans medicine is eugenic or Nazi in some way, and it draws a false connection between gender-affirming care and tortuous human experiments in the camps. 

Broadly, the thread argues that early trans medical care constituted medical malpractice and the development of a new kind of sterilization in the form of gender-affirming genital surgery, and it contends that Gohrbandt performed his early vaginoplasties with the same regard for humanity as he displayed in his later work with the Nazis.

But the beliefs of these flawed medical pioneers have no bearing on trans people or trans politics, and conflating modern gender-affirming care with this early experimental treatment ignores the state violence trans people faced at the hands of the Nazis.

Despite Hirschfeld’s contributions to the field, people are right to criticize him for seeing the world through the lens of eugenics, even if that view was common in the 1930s. 

Marhoefer literally wrote the book on his eugenic beliefs. Hirschfeld thought that gayness was eugenically beneficial because queer people did not reproduce, but he made no eugenic arguments for or against his work with trans people. He dedicated one of his books to eugenics, and he believed they sat at the heart of the science of sexology. And while he was critical of scientific racism, you can find anti-Black statements in his work, too, Marhoefer said.

Moreover, while Hirschfeld’s writings suggest he empathized with trans people and wanted to alleviate their suffering, he still staked a career on them. He photographed trans people in demeaning ways and trotted them out for demonstrations in front of other doctors.

It’s important to remember that Hirschfeld did not invent or create transness. The community existed before he discovered it, and the trans people themselves were not advocating for eugenic sterilization. The man was a trailblazer, not a saint. In fact, his approach to trans medicine laid the foundation for a system that forces people to jump through hoops for medical care. To this day, the majority of people who do trans medicine are not transgender themselves, and they do not always have the best interests of trans people at heart, Marhoefer said.

Gohrbandt would certainly make a list of medical practitioners who did not always have the best interests of trans people at heart. The pioneering plastic surgeon’s career bloomed along with his field, which quickly advanced to treat disfiguring battlefield injuries from World War I. He did not work at the institute, and because the surgeries were still very rare, he didn’t make a living performing them, Marhoefer said. We can count on one hand the number of gender-affirming surgeries he performed.

Unlike the Jewish and leftist doctors he worked with, Gohrbandt did not have to flee Germany. He endorsed the regime and later became the chief medical advisor for the Luftwaffe’s sanitary services division. In 1942, he participated in a secret conference on the results of fatal hypothermia experiments performed on Holocaust victims, and later reported the results in a German surgical journal.

Marhoefer said it is not strange that a future Nazi worked with progressive Jews on gender-affirming care in the 1920s. Many German doctors backed the regime and committed atrocities because they wanted careers. 

There’s no defending Gohrbandt, but his path does not suggest anything unique and nefarious about gender-affirming care. It says more about the heartbreaking situation these trans people found themselves in when even the few doctors they could turn to for medical care treated them with disdain.

Marhoefer said doctors of the day took advantage of desperate women such as Elbe, Dora Richter, and Charlotte Charlaque, who was Jewish and fled the Nazis. They endured experimental surgeries with no oversight before antibiotics, patients’ rights, or ethics protections. Many doctors saw them as a means to an end in the overall development of plastic surgery.

What All of This Is Really About

Trans persecution is simply one story in a much larger one about the Holocaust. Trans people today who point out this history as right-wing attacks against them intensify around the world are not erasing the murder of Jews and Roma in concentration camps, or the extermination of disabled people, or the deaths of millions of Soviet POWS in Nazi Germany’s murderous campaign to seize eastern territory and farmland. 

But this conversation is not really about Nazis any more than constant squabbles over gender-affirming care are about children. Nor does it honor victims of Nazi crimes.

No information, scholarship, or detailed account of a complicated history can satisfy someone who is fundamentally opposed to a person existing as they do. No number of mainstream medical organizations that again and again defend the efficacy of gender-affirming care can assuage their doubts. The benchmark for correctness is constantly moving and shifting, and the argument has no logical endpoint.

Meanwhile, ordinary trans people who rise to their own defense are labeled activists and needled for their wording, or their temperament, or their appearance, or the smallest misstatement. 

At the same time, people like Rowling expect transgender laypeople to possess the knowledge of Holocaust researchers, of doctors, of psychologists, and of public policy experts. Every week, it seems, anti-trans interests push out another poorly researched hit meant to undermine the community’s existence in some way. It is trolling, and it is exhausting, and that’s all it is. 

[black-arcana]

EPICA's SIMONE SIMONS Explains Why The Time Is 'Right' For Her To Release Her Debut Solo Album

In a new interview with El Cuartel Del Metal, EPICA singer Simone Simons discussed her upcoming debut solo album, "Vermillion", on which she collaborated with her longtime musical partner Arjen Lucassen (AYREON). Asked how long she has been planning the project, Simone said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "Well, actively for, I guess, one and a half years, or one year even, with Arjen. We started, yeah, last year, I think springtime or so. But I talked to him about working together, I asked him if he wanted to work with me on my solo album already years ago, if he would be interested. And he was, but we were both just too busy. And last year, we also did the AYREON shows together; I was part of that. But already before those took place, we met up because he already started writing songs, and he always kind of wrote two, three songs and then I would come over to him to record vocals. And then a couple of months later he would have more songs. So it was not that all songs were there all at once. But we did it in a couple of sessions. And, yeah, EPICA was not touring a lot. And writing a new record for EPICA was kind of a little bit like at the end of the last vocal recordings for 'Vermillion'. EPICA was also in the studio, or writing camps, writing albums. So, for me, I guess this was the freest I could get my calendar, but I still had things going on. And in the past we were just touring too much. So the wish was always there, but not the time, also for Arjen because he's very busy as well. But now we were both motivated and had the time. The time was right now."

Regarding the first two singles from the LP, "Aeterna" and "In Love We Rust", Simone said: "Well, 'Aeterna' was the idea of Arjen to release as a first single track, because it is a little bit of a perfect blend of AYREON and EPICA; there's quite some similarities of both our music career, I guess. So it would be kind of a soft introduction to both our fans, to get warm with the project. But it's definitely not an indication of how the whole album sounds like; it's still very, very different. And 'In Love We Rust' is one of both Arjen and my favorite tracks of the album, and it's a beautiful ballad. Who doesn't like a ballad? And this month, there will be a third single, which will be a very heavy song. So I'm curious to see what people are gonna say about that. But all songs are brilliant and I like 'em all. They're like all babies in a way. But 'Aeterna', I felt a little bit sorry for Patric [Ullaeus] who did the video because it's a long song to do a video for. Nowadays singles are always three, max four minutes, and EPICA is always surpassing that, but, yeah, six minutes of supernovas, planets and many dresses. [Laughs]"

Arjen is no stranger to Simone's soaring operatic voice, one that can stir even a gargoyle's stone heart to tears. Together they have crafted a sonic universe that befits the influential figure she is. Due on August 23 via Nuclear Blast Records, "Vermillion" emerges as a gargantuan goose-bump generator, a universally touching, stellar tour de force.

Simone and Arjen previously stated about "Aeterna": "'Aeterna' is the big, epic opener of the album and it comes with this amazing video too, directed by Patric Ullaeus. It definitely sounds the closest to EPICA and AYREON, blending powerful Latin lyrics with a touch of an oriental feel. We've tried to strike a balance between the mighty, bombastic sounds and the more atmospheric parts. Since it's the first track people will hear from this album, it's super important to us and we're really excited for people to hear it!

"'Aeterna' takes the point of view of a star about to go supernova to explore how everything in the universe is interconnected, like a cosmic web made from stardust. It deals our deep emotions, consciousness and other mysteries of life that science still can't fully explain. Essentially it's a reflection on our place in the vast universe and the connections that bind us together, as we're all, to quote Carl Sagan, 'made of starstuff.'"

About "In Love We Rust", Simone and Arjen said: "The video was filmed in just one take to keep it as pure and raw as possible. We opted to keep it in black and white so as not to distract from the song or the performance.

"'In Love We Rust' is quite different from our first single 'Aeterna', which shows how diverse this album is. This is one of our favorite songs. We hope you love this as much as we do."

For more than 20 years, ever since she was a teenager, Simons has been carving her own path as a woman within the world of metal. As a lead singer, icon, and role model for a whole generation of female metalheads, the EPICA lead singer remains one of the most prominent key figures in all things metal. After eight albums and countless global tours with her band, Simone Simons finally found the time to release her first solo album — a moment 15 years in the making. Her breathtaking debut "Vermillion" is a stunning feat chronicling her storied past as well as her rise to fame, and showcasing her many different influences ranging from prog rock to film scores to metal to electronic elements.

Of the timing for her eagerly awaited foray into the realms of a solo career, the Dutch singer says with a disarming grin: "EPICA has my priority and I always have the liberty to do other musical projects besides my career in EPICA. Yet I never had the time to dive into a project to this extent."

"Vermillion" track listing:

01. Aeterna 02. In Love We Rust 03. Cradle To The Grave (feat. Alissa White-Gluz) 04. Fight Or Flight 05. Weight Of My World 06. Vermillion Dreams 07. The Core 08. Dystopia 09. R.E.D. 10. Dark Night Of The Soul

[monasteryicons]

1 - Turning the bad times into good times We have been here before, and chances are we will find ourselves here again – history shows us that this is the way of this world. What to do? Saint Augustine answers: “Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well, and times shall be good. We are the times: Such as we are, such are the times.”

2 - "You are the light of the world." What an incredible statement by Christ! As men and women of prayer, we are not weak, we are not powerless. And together, our seemingly small lights can bring a great illumination. In the 1940’s a religious teacher brought his students to a nighttime concert at the Hollywood Bowl. At one point small candles were distributed to the audience members, and at a signal everyone lit their candle. The amphitheater was gloriously illuminated! The lesson being ended, the teacher led his students out of the concert.

3 - "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." - Saint John Vianney These words from Saint James the Apostle should not be taken lightly. The history of the Church abounds in stories of the miraculous effect of prayer, and even science has finally begun to catch up with the religion and realize this. In 1988 Dr. Randolph Byrd organized a double-blind study of 393 patients in a coronary unit, dividing them into two randomized groups, one of which was put on a list to receive intercessory prayer on their behalf without their knowledge. The other group was a control and was not prayed for. The study concluded that the patients in the first group scored statistically lower in the severity of their medical needs, showing that prayers even from remote strangers positively affected the outcome of their medical treatment. It works! (But you already knew that.)

4 - Don't forget your heavenly friends The sense of isolation and of powerlessness are probably what make difficult times so painful for so many. But as Christians, we are never alone, we are never helpless. Don’t forget to call on your heavenly friends, who are always ready and eager to help you and all those you pray for – the holy angels, the saints, and of course our Lord and the Blessed Virgin. “The Church Militant” is not just a metaphor. We are part of, and surrounded by a great heavenly army.

When the king of Syria sent a great army to capture the prophet Elisha, the prophet’s terrified servant cried “What shall we do?” Mystically seeing the great angelic army which God had sent to protect him, Elisha told his servant: “Fear not, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” (2 Kings 6:16)

5 - Pray for your enemies - Betsie Ten Boom Christ taught that we must recognize the reality of evil in the world; ours is not a faith of rose-colored glasses. As Christians, how should we react to this evil? Among other things, Christ taught us to pray for our enemies. Think of the tortured condition of the people wreaking havoc in the world at this time. As difficult as it may be, let us bring them too before God in prayer, that His light will drive the darkness out of their hearts and minds.

After some months of their imprisonment in a Ravensbruck concentration camp because they concealed Jews in their home in Holland, the two Dutch sisters Corrie and Betsie Ten Boom learned the identity of the Dutch man who had colluded with the Nazis and betrayed their family. Corrie brimmed with hatred for the man who had brought such suffering literally to their doorstep. Her father was dead because of this man, and it was because of that traitor that Betsie was slowly dying. When she asked her sister “Doesn’t it bother you?” she replied “Oh yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew—and pray for him whenever his name comes into my mind.” As Betsie grew weaker, she kept insisting that she and Corrie had work to do after the war. She planned to have rehabilitation homes – with green paint and window boxes – for concentration camp survivors as well as for people who had helped the Nazis.

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Flight of Icarus Review

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 1 of 2)

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Hawkins, Indiana: For most, it’s simply another idyllic, manicured all-American town. But for Eddie Munson, it’s like living in a perpetual Tomb of Horrors. Luckily, he has only a few more months to survive at Hawkins High. And what is senior year, really, but killing time between Dungeons & Dragons sessions with the Hellfire Club and gigs with his band, Corroded Coffin? At the worst dive bar in town, Eddie meets Paige, someone who has pulled off a freaking miracle. She escaped Hawkins and built a wickedly cool life for herself working for a record producer in Los Angeles. Not only is she the definition of a badass—with killer taste in music—but she might also be the only person who actually appreciates Eddie as the bard he is instead of as the devil incarnate. But the best thing? She’s offering him a chance to make something of himself, and all he needs to do is get her a demo tape of Corroded Coffin’s best songs. Just one problem: Recording costs money. Money Eddie doesn’t have. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes, even if that means relying on his dad. Al Munson has just stumbled back into Eddie’s life with another dubious scheme up his sleeve, and yet Eddie knows this is his only option to make enough dough in enough time. It’s a risk, but if it pays off he will finally have a one-way ticket out of Hawkins. Eddie can feel it: 1984 is going to be his year.

Observations:

Ordinarily, when I do these reviews, I sum up the synopsis in my own words to convey my experience reading it. This time, I took the synopsis word-for-word from the book cover because I found it unintentionally hilarious and teeth-grinding that the publishers at Random House Worlds would try to bait Stranger Things fans like this. They had to have known most people who bought this book already saw the fourth season and were aware of Eddie's eventual fate. Even if they hadn't seen it, a.) It's pretty much an open spoiler at this point, and b.) You can figure out real quickly from the title (Flight of Icarus) and your basic knowledge of Greek Mythology exactly how this story is going to go. Giving both the audience and Eddie a Hope Spot in thinking things might improve for him was a cruel joke.

I know that prior to this books release, there were fans accusing Netflix of trying to milk Eddie's popularity with the audience despite his eventual fate in season 4. Having finally read the book myself.................it's a little more complicated than that.

Yes, the book does bait the audience with the idea of things getting better for Eddie when we already know that's not going to happen. At the same time though, it wasn't a book devoid of substance. There were themes and character interactions that left a lot to chew on, and might even play an upcoming role in season 5. Just like with Rebel Robin, there were aspects of the book that struck a personal nerve with me because of how they related to what's gone on in my life and what's currently going on in the world right now.

I'll discuss the book in detail here (Spoilers Ahead!) and let you decide for yourselves if this is a book you want to read.

Part 1: Eddie's relationships to other characters

The synopsis covers the majority of the plot. Eddie's in senior year, failing school, and coasting by on the Hellfire Club, his band, and his dead-end job at a bar. Unlike his friend Ronnie, he has no future prospects ahead of him until he encounters a girl from Los Angeles named Paige, who overhears Eddie playing one night and invites him (and Corroded Coffin) to record their music for a studio called WR Records. The hopes are that her boss, Davey, will be impressed enough that he'll invite Eddie and the band to later fly out to Los Angeles for an audition with the executives. Following them recording for Davey, Paige reveals to Eddie that Davey's more impressed with him than his band and only wants him to come out to LA to become a rockstar. However, Eddie still needs the money to make this dream a reality. So when his dad shows up with an illegal job that involves stealing weed from a Kingpin's truck so they can sell it for money, he reluctantly agrees despite knowing things could go wrong.

And just based on where Eddie is by the time season 4 starts, you already know how this is going to turn out.

Eddie on the show was already established as being an outcast who gets blamed for the murders committed by Vecna, but this book further explores that he was the town scapegoat way before any of this happened. Part of it has to do with his low socioeconomic status, part of it has to do with the bad reputation the Munson family has in Hawkins as crooks and lowlifes thanks to the behavior of Eddie's father (who is a loser and a sorry excuse for a dad), part of it has to do with the Hellfire Club and all the pearl-clutching parents did in the 80s about D&D being linked to Satanism (which, as Erica puts it in season 4, was bullshit), and the rest are people in Hawkins projecting their issues onto Eddie. They want to believe the worst in Eddie, and don't care about creating a self-fulfilling prophecy with they way they treat him.

Wayne Munson also gets fleshed-out more in this book, which I appreciate because he's one of the few adult characters on the show that I like. Unlike Al, who is constantly absent from Eddie's life unless he needs something from him, Wayne is a parental figure to Eddie who made sure he was being fed and taken care of when he needed it.

He's also one of the only people who treats Eddie like a person and believes in him when no one else does.

On top of that, Wayne is shrewd and able to put the pieces together just by reading a situation. He's the kind of person who can look at someone and figure out if they're being honest or not. When Al comes back into Eddie's life, he knows Al is up to no good, and he puts together pretty quickly that Eddie is going along with Al's con to get money. He allows Eddie to make his own choices, but he also warns Eddie that he's lying to himself if he thinks this is going to go well for him.

On a semi-related note, the way Wayne is depicted here gives more context behind why he was willing to let Nancy interview him when Eddie went missing after Chrissy's death: Unlike other reporters , who were either gearing up to paint Eddie as the villain before anything was confirmed, or else were trying to get their big break with this story, Wayne could tell Nancy wasn't just there to advance her career. She genuinely had an interest in what happened, and Wayne likely suspected something else (i.e. the death of Barb) was motivating Nancy to look into this case.

Another relationship that gets more context as well is the one between Jason and Eddie. There were hints in the fourth season that these two had a history with one another before Jason wrongly suspected Eddie of killing Chrissy and led the basketball team in hunting him down. This book confirms that history. I will admit I had a headcanon for a while that Jason and Eddie used to be friends before falling out (which is also something Mason Dye joked about), but this book blows that out of the water by revealing they've been enemies since they knew each other. Jason was a part of a jock group led by Tommy Hagan (Steve's former best friend) who bullied students like Gareth who were either outcasts or part of the Hellfire Club. But because Tommy and Jason were valued basketball players at the high school, they were able to get away with their behavior whereas Eddie would get punished simply for trying to help out his friends.

This puts the cafeteria scene between Eddie and Jason in a whole different light: Eddie's disdain for Jason in that moment wasn't because Jason did basketball, but because he knew Jason as a bully and had nothing but contempt for him:

Just like with Lucas on the Line, this book doesn't paint Jason in a good light. Not only is he associating with Tommy (who is just as loathsome as he was in season 1), but the book also hints at the darker, zealot side of his personality that's going to be on display in two years following the events of this book:

Chrissy also makes an appearance, and she's just as nice of a person as she was on the show. She actually intervenes (unsuccessfully) on Gareth's behalf to stop Tommy and Jason from bullying him, and we get to witness the flashback to the talent show when Eddie first encountered Chrissy and she showed him empathy and compassion in a moment when Eddie was feeling vulnerable after his dad didn't show up to watch him perform.

While I'm not an Edissy/Hellcheer shipper, I understand the appeal of that relationship, as well as why the Duffer Brothers later regretted killing off Chrissy when there was more that could have been explored with her character. I'm also deeply sorry Grace Van Dien was harassed by immature Stranger Things fans because she liked the Eddie/Chrissy ship (to the point Joseph Quinn had to speak up in her defense). No actor or actress should ever have to put up with disgusting behavior like that. I wish people in this fandom would grow the hell up already, and stop treating the actors as if they're props to project themselves onto. 😒

We also get to know more about Eddie's parents in this book. Eddie's mom is dead by this point (though her love for music is a big reason why Eddie was inspired to take up guitar) and Eddie's dad is a contender for one of the worst fathers in the series. He isn't as awful as Neil Hargrove, but he makes little to no effort to raise Eddie (to the point Eddie is often fending for himself), is constantly engaging in illegal activities and ending up in trouble with the law, only comes back for Eddie when he needs something from him (something that Eddie is painfully aware of), and straight-up abandons his son to the cops the moment his heist plan lands both of them in trouble and results in a police officer getting shot. He's a selfish man who's good at lying to everyone around him, and even to himself. The sad thing is, because Eddie is so desperate to get out of Hawkins, he willingly believes his dad's plan to get them rich so they can move to LA and fulfill his dream, which makes it more of a gut punch when everything eventually goes downhill.

Given Eddie's death in season 4, I seriously question if his dad is going to show up at all if he ever hears about what happened to his son. Somehow, I doubt it.

The final character with any real significance is Gareth. In this book, he's a freshman who's up-and-coming in the Hellfire Club, and there's a whole subplot dedicated to Eddie helping him to craft a perfect D&D character that resembles who Gareth is rather than having him borrow someone else's character. Also, as noted before, Eddie is one of the few people who defends Gareth from high school bullies, which is why Gareth has a lot of loyalty towards Eddie. I know Gareth became an Ensemble Dark Horse for many fans when Season 4 premiered, and I would be thrilled if he, along with the rest of the Hellfire Club and Corroded Coffin, got significant roles in season 5. Maybe they could team up with the Party to defeat Vecna.

The rest of the new characters are by-the-numbers. Ronnie is Eddie's lifelong friend who has a future at NYU, and they both have a falling out due to disagreements with Eddie's choices. Paige gets into a romantic relationship with Eddie for a while (which also falls apart later), but she isn't really memorable and doesn't stick out the same way that other characters from tie-in materials do (i.e. Mr Hauser from Rebel Robin, Joey Kim from Zombie Boys, etc). Mr. Higgins, the principal who has it out for Eddie, is the embodiment of Mr. Vernon from The Breakfast Club, and his interactions with Eddie are pretty similar to the ones Vernon has with Judd Nelson's character (John Benson) in the movie. Officer Moore is a stereotypical asshole cop who harasses Eddie because he sees him as a future criminal who will grow up to be just like his dad.

There are a few brief cameo's from the main characters: Hopper appears towards the end when Eddie is arrested, and is one of the few people sympathetic to Eddie's plight. Will and Jonathan also make an appearance when Eddie defends Will from jocks who make fun of Will for being "Zombie Boy," gives Will some encouragement about being who he is and embracing his love for D&D, and even offers to sell Jonathan some weed (which is cheeky foreshadowing for Jonathan's drug habit that develops in season 4).

Out of all the interactions with the main characters, the one between Will and Eddie was my favorite. Even though Will never joined Hellfire Club due to moving to Lenora, it's nice seeing these two get to interact and bond over something they love.

So that sums it up for the characters and main story. Let's talk about the main themes:

Part 2: Eddie and "Forced Conformity"

Just like with El in season 4, and even Steve, there's always been this stigma that because Eddie did badly in school, it meant he was dumb. However, unlike El, who struggles to catch up with her peers because of the way Brenner raised her (but is keenly aware of concepts even if she doesn't have the words for them at the time), or Steve who was more interested in chasing popularity at the expense of his grades (but has demonstrated his intelligence and ability to make connections that other people miss), Eddie doesn't put effort into school because he doesn't care to. School and homework doesn't interest him. D&D, Corroded Coffin, playing songs on his guitar, and even the works of J.R.R Tolkien do, which is why he invests more time into those things:

There was a GIF set last year with bits of trivia about Eddie, and something that was noted in it is that Metallica's album Master of Puppets was released on March 3, 1986. Given the night Eddie performs their song "Master of Puppets" in the Upside Down was on March 27, 1986, this means he had less than 3 weeks to learn how to master the song on his guitar. Some fans will probably dismiss this as "lazy writing" (which I notice gets thrown around a lot these days when people don't want to think critically), but I beg to differ. Eddie is invested in music. It speaks to him. That investment, combined with doing something he loves, means he's going to put time and effort into learning the song. I can buy he learned "Master of Puppets" in less than 3 weeks because he's that good of a guitarist, and he was passionate about the song in the same way he's passionate about D&D and Tolkien.

The problem though is those kind of interests aren't considered "acceptable" by the school system, which is more interested in churning out "productive members of society" and punishing those who don't get on board with the program (This is a theme that's also explored in both Rebel Robin and Lucas on the Line). It doesn't help that Hellfire Club, D&D, and the music Eddie loves to play constantly come under fire due to the Satanic Panic at the time, which only causes Eddie's resentment towards Hawkins and his school to fester.

You'd think things would have changed in the 4 decades since this series took place, but given how we're still living in an era of "concerned parents" wanting to ban specific books from being read by kids, or else enforce a conservative viewpoint in schools that prevents any kind of critical thinking, it's fair to say we haven't. In fact, there's an argument that things have gotten worse in recent years.

We can talk all day about the problems with the education system and school curriculum in the United States until the cows come home, but the point is Eddie is aware of the "forced conformity" schools impose on students, and is having none of it. As a result, he's punished for rebelling against the system.

It doesn't help that none of the teachers, nor Mr. Higgins, are remotely interested in trying to reach out to Eddie. They have decided in their minds that Eddie is a waste of space, and are either condescending or dismissive towards him. Even Robin, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Will had teachers like Mr. Clarke or Mr. Hauser who were interested in bringing the best out of their students. Eddie has been written off as a lost cause, and aside from his uncle Wayne (who's limited in what he can do for Eddie), no other adults believe in him. That just makes his eventual death later on harder to stomach.

I hate teachers and school authorities like Mr. Higgins. I get they have to put up with a lot of crap, both from kids and from the stress their jobs can bring, but I have no respect for teachers who either go to the lengths of bullying their students, or come up with preconceived notions about a student and then unfairly project that onto them so they can feel justified in treating them with contempt.

I had two teachers like this when I was growing up: One of them was from fifth grade. The second was my English Teacher from my senior year of High School.

The former was a straight-up bully who had a reputation for making kids cry (I was one of them) and was a Bitch in every sense of the word. I do not have good memories of her class, and I know several students who had their lives impacted by her for the worst: One of them was someone I went to the same church with whose mom later pulled him out to be home-schooled because he was frequently targeted by that teacher. The second was a former friend who had a rough time in her class, and later forfeited going to college entirely (and now works in retail) because of the impact she left on her. I make no secret that I DON'T miss her, and I hope she's no longer teaching.

As for my English Teacher, she was a condescending twat. She presented herself as an expert in literature, but I later found out that A LOT of her so-called "discussions" and "lessons" were taken straight from SparkNotes. I remember her going out of her way to publicly humiliate me in front of the class because I did a presentation that she didn't like, and then she later got patronizing with me over a different assignment several months later, saying she could see how I was struggling and then said "Allow me to give you some advice: Try harder." This was when I was also juggling 4 other AP classes and a Spanish class, along with my extracurricular activities, so this wasn't like I was half-assing my work. Once again, I was not the only person she treated like is. Multiple students despised her, and there was even a rumor for a while that she was a misandrist, which is why she treated the girls better than the boys. I can't confirm if this was true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. My brother (who's one of the smartest people I know) was fully aware of her reputation prior to his senior year, and specifically took a different English class just to avoid her. I still maintain that was the best decision he ever made.

I should briefly mention that, despite the two examples I just listed, I had some wonderful teachers growing up. Ones that not only encouraged me, but made their classes engaging to the point that I took an interest in topics I hadn't before. The entire reason I later pursued a degree in History is BECAUSE of my teachers in High School.

Regardless of whether people want to admit it, teachers are some of the most important people next to parents in a kid's life. They can either be the ones to elevate a student and set them on a good path, or they can be the ones to tear them down and dismiss them as a lost cause. It's a big reason I feel strongly about who teaches in schools and how our education system is structured, and why I get angry whenever teachers or school authorities either abuse their power, are apathetic about their jobs and their students, or else project their issues onto kids. I'm not saying there aren't kids out there without major behavioral problems that need to be dealt with (I literally had one such kid yell "Fuck You" at me two weeks ago from a speeding truck for no discernible reason, so I'm not advocating that all kids are sweet angels), but it infuriates me to see characters like Mr. Higgins who are smug in their belief that they have teens like Eddie figured out, and don't want to hear anything that contradicts that. People like that shouldn't be teaching in schools, period.

Part 3: The Evils of Society

Back in 2005, there was a horror movie called Chaos that was released, which got negative reviews and a scathing response from film critic Roger Ebert, who proceeded to call the movie "ugly, nihilistic, and cruel." The film's writer and director didn't take this well, and posted a letter to the Chicago-Sun Times where he condescendingly told Ebert that the movie was supposed to be ugly, nihilistic, and cruel as a way of conveying what evil was like in the 21st century, and smugly asked Ebert if he preferred the movie was sanitized of violence. Ebert later responded in a very classy and intelligent manner, where he not only called out the director for his sanctimoniousness, but also deconstructed his whole argument of depicting evil in a movie with no meaningful point or catharsis:

"I believe evil can win in fiction, as it often does in real life. But I prefer that the artist express an attitude toward that evil. It is not enough to record it; what do you think and feel about it? Your attitude is as detached as your hero's."

"Your real purpose in making "Chaos," I suspect, was not to educate, but to create a scandal that would draw an audience. There's always money to be made by going further and being more shocking. Sometimes there is also art to be found in that direction, but not this time. That's because your film creates a closed system in which any alternative outcome is excluded; it is like a movie of a man falling to his death, which can have no developments except that he continues to fall, and no ending except that he dies. Pre-destination may be useful in theology, but as a narrative strategy, it is self-defeating."

I've seen fans who've complained about the direction season 4 took in its tone and it's depiction of bullying and the Satanic Panic, with people complaining about it being "trauma/torture porn," which............I strongly disagree with. Trauma/Torture porn is (as Ebert points out) the kind of thing that has no point beyond indulging in meaningless suffering. Season 4 was dark (probably the darkest season they've done so far), but there was a message the Duffer Brothers were making with it; Not just in depicting how and why bullying becomes a pervasive problem, or how Vecna acts as a metaphor for depression and trauma driving people into despair, but also how the current social systems and attempts to force people to be "normal" cause long-term problems.

Bullies like Angela and Jason didn't suddenly decide to become awful overnight. Their behavior was enabled, not just by their peers, but by the adults around them who did little to nothing to stop the way they acted. Look at when El gets publicly humiliated at Rink-O-Mania by Angela and her friends, and how the adults there either participated with the other bystanders in it, or did absolutely nothing to stop what was happening to El (yet were conveniently available for Angela's benefit when El smashed Angela's face in with a roller-skate). Look at how Jason was able to turn a room of adults into a lynch mob to go after kids who were a part of the Hellfire Club by appealing to their fear of the Satanic Panic, as well as their fear of all the terrible things that had been happening in Hawkins.

Adults play a major role in whether kids become spoiled, entitled brats, and that was absolutely the case with Angela. As for Jason, he was a star basketball player who made Hawkins High look good, which is why Mr. Higgins and other teachers always looked the other way at his behavior (as depicted in both this book and Lucas on the Line). It's also why both Angela and Jason felt justified in their awful behavior: Angela was able to convince herself that El had snitched when she hadn't, and therefore deserved to be punished for it. And when El finally had enough and lashed out, Angela twisted the narrative in her head to make it out like she was the innocent victim and El was the bully. Same thing with Jason in regards to how he treats Eddie: Jason sees himself as the perfect "All American Boy" and Eddie as the freak who may one day become a criminal and gives Hawkins a bad name. And while the deaths of Chrissy and Patrick (combined with witnessing how Patrick died which he chalked up to Eddie being in league with Satan) played a major role in Jason's actions, he already had preconceived notions about Eddie without truly getting to know him first. There's an argument to be had that, even without Chrissy's death, he would have looked for any reason to go after Eddie if he felt justified in doing so.

Even isolated areas like Hawkins Lab weren't exempt from this: Dr. Brenner specifically fostered a culture among the special kids where he would put them at odds with one another to fight for his approval, and allowed El to be viciously bullied by Two and the others in the hopes it would unlock her potential and get him the results he wanted. Brenner established the institution where El grew up in, and was the main person who benefited from it. Two was a vicious bully similar to Angela, but the reason he became that is because Brenner and his cronies enabled his behavior (only punishing him as a means of building up resentment among the other kids towards El and making her more of an outcast as part of his plans).

Likewise, there's an interesting parallel between Eddie and Vecna: Both are "outcasts" whom society tried to force to be "normal." However, while Eddie still maintained compassion and empathy for others, as well as making it his mission to look out for other outcasts like Mike, Dustin, and Lucas so their lives wouldn't be miserable, Vecna internalized the rage and resentment of "performing in a silly terrible play, day after day" until it consumed him and turned him into the monster everyone feared. Now he intends to destroy everything and everyone so he can create the world he wants.

It's the Harvey Dent quote from The Dark Knight:

Eddie, despite being treated badly for most of his life, died as a hero, protecting those he cared about. Vecna lived to become the villain, and has abandoned his humanity in pursuit of his goals.

Tying this all back to Roger Ebert's letter: While Season 4 may have been dark, there was meaning to be found in the darkness: The season hit on the theme that, in spite of how Hawkins looks like a perfect suburban neighborhood, there's a lot of rot underneath, and NOT just from the Upside Down. There's an inherent bigotry in the town (and others like it, such as Lenora), of institutions trying to mold students and teachers into "productive members of society" at the cost of their happiness and well being, of punishing anything that's considered abnormal or against the status quo, of how ostracizing "outcasts" can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the person either becomes the monster (Vecna) or is scapegoated and can never escape those stigmas no matter how hard they try (Eddie).

The Duffer Brothers aren't apathetic in their attitude about how they depict characters and themes on the show. If anything, they care deeply. It's why they wrote the character of Eddie in the first place, and based him off of Damien Echols, one of the West Memphis Three who was wrongfully convicted in 1994 of the murder of three boys in Arkansas, with a lot of bias directed at them due to the three of them being "delinquents" (as well as how the police pressured them into giving false confessions), which resulted in their lives getting ruined. Likewise on the show, Eddie is accused of killing Chrissy when he didn't (simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time), and his life got destroyed because of it. Even if he was a delinquent with his own personal issues, he didn't deserve what happened to him. Neither did Damien Echols. Society failed both of them, and allowed the true killers to go unpunished.

There are a lot of problems in our society today that have carried over from the 80s: From cultures that enable bullies and punish their victims, to attempts to control what kids learn in schools and how they should act, to bigotry and biases that aren't just rooted in people but in the institutions and laws that uphold the social structure, to people like Jason who take the law into their own hands regardless of the collateral damage it will cause, to government corruption, to people dehumanizing others because it's more important for them to be right over being nice, and so on. Stranger Things may be a love letter to the 80s, but it does not shy away from deconstructing the uglier aspects of that decade, and conveying how some of those issues had carried over into today's culture.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this book is a mixed bag. It gives interesting details about Eddie and his life, and provides better context for certain scenes in season 4. Given that Caitlin Schneiderhan (the author of the book) had talks with the Duffer Brothers and other Stranger Things writers prior to penning this, it's likely this book can be considered canon. It's also a book that inspires discussion (as you can tell from what I've written), which is always a plus.

However, if you're a fan of Eddie, and you were upset over his death, this book isn't going to give you any catharsis. Unlike others, I'm not going to claim it's milking off of Eddie's popularity. At the same time though, it is hard to read when it teases that things might get better for Eddie and you already know what Eddie's fate is going to be.

In other words, you have to decide for yourself if this is a book you want to read. I hope my synopsis and this review gives some idea of what to expect.

[hyperfixated-maybe]

Not what I usually post, but I need people to see this insanely intimate moment I had with two complete strangers at the airport the other day. This was typed out in my notes app on the bus ride from the airport so I’d get every fresh little detail from my memory.

“Sitting on a Lufthansa flight, eight hours from Frankfurt to Boston. We’re a half hour ahead of time, sitting on the runway awaiting an open gate. I hear a clang, and under my seat rolls a metal water bottle. I reach under and pass it back to the kid who dropped it. They wear a soft jean jacket with a shirt underneath reading something along the lines of “I’m really a moth and this is my human costume”.

“Here you go, bud.” I say.

They thank me. 

Five, ten minutes later and everybody is getting up to be deplaned. I hear behind me the same kid talking to their mom. “There’s a type of jellyfish that can live forever. If something doesn’t eat it. They go back to an earlier stage of their life…” 

I turn back and pull lobsters into the conversation. They tell me they went to an away science camp where they learned about marine biology. 

“I’m Moth” they draw out the “th” sound. 

I repeat it back: “Moth?? That’s such a cool name dude!”

The mom jumps in. “They named themself that!”

“What’s your name?” Moth asks me.

“Sam. My pronouns are he/him, what are yours?”

“They/them!”

“That’s so cool! I’m trans too!”

The mom again: “They have older siblings, so they’ve had a lot more time to think about these things than most other nine year olds.”

There’s a pause in the conversation here, and I can feel my emotions bending. “You know you’re the luckiest kid ever, right?”

“I am?” 

“Mhm..” I’ve started to get shakey now. I look away and bring my arm to my face, trying to control my emotions. The mom looks at me, and waits a moment before saying, “y’know, I give out mom hugs to anyone who needs it.” She opens her arms and I lean into the embrace. 

When it’s over I find myself saying “You’re the coolest person I know. I hope you have a great life!” to Moth as I leave. I wave behind me as I get off the plane. 

“Me too!”

I wait on the edge of the group as the rest of the cadets trickle off of the plane and condense beside me. I see Moth and their mom walk by, and I catch the mom’s eye. We smile at each other. Moth doesn’t see me.

They came back. To find me. And Moth asks for a hug. (Or, more accurately, if they can hug 𝘮𝘦.)

“Of course!” I bend down. We’re at an awkward height, and I shift to see if I should kneel or remain. By the end I’m kneeling. 

We hug more times than I remember. Eight, nine, ten times? I don’t rightfully know. Each hug they get more emotional, and I see tears well up in their brown eyes. 

The mother says “sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know they’d start crying like this.” I tell her it’s fine, it’s okay. 

Their straight, brown, a bit longer than shoulder length hair is messed up, and the mom is behind them, smoothing it behind their ear. So am I. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” The mom says to them. 

I tell them that they’re the coolest person I know. We hug, and each time we pull away, we hold each other’s arms, or grasp each others hands. 

“Sorry about this. With the jet lag and stuff they start acting like a drunk person!” 

Moth laughs through their tears, and I laugh with them.

“Sam’s gotta go with his group now,” the mother says. So I do.

The last time I saw Moth was about a half hour after our first interaction on the plane. I’m walking with my group to get my passport stamped. Moth is alone now, waiting for their mom outside a bathroom. I hug them one last time as I walk by, and file down through the seatbelt barrier maze. 

I wave, and Moth smiles back. 

And that’s it. That’s my whole story. As much as they’ll ever know of it, at least.”

[steampunkforever]

We are, as a culture, once more accepting how much sword and sorcery wizard-van fantasy rules. Maybe this is a consequence of Stranger Things' normification of Dungeons and Dragons, maybe it's just the fact that Frank Frazetta art rips. It doesn't matter, men in loincloths with magic swords rule.

Of course when discussing Sword and Sorcery media, a certain filmic archetype comes to mind, filled with cheap sets, skimpy costumes, and writing terrible enough to earn the film in question the title of "camp." People romanticize this half-remembered sort of film the same way that horror fans with romanticize Chopping Mall or Blood Rage. The thing is that when you come face to face with real-life examples of this sort of fantasy movie, it turns out to be much worse. Such is the case with the 1978 film Deathsport, a movie purportedly supposed to follow up Death Race 2000, a prime example of films that suck.

Despite some very fun concepts and cool swords, the film is a mess. Production itself was apparently a trainwreck, with half the cast and crew whacked out on drugs at any given moment, and preproduction was probably much of the same, considering the incoherent plot. It's a properly bad film, and the reshoots meant to shoehorn in more gratuitous nudity (as well as a room full of hanging christmas lights that also kill you?) do absolutely nothing to make the film better.

When I tell you how bad this is, I do it with full affection. This is a Corman-produced film and he had a specific touch and formula to his stuff that adds a bit of shine to a film that even its stars admit to being mostly exploding motorcycles, titillation, and poor narrative construction. This is a film you'd see Mystery Science Theater 3000 do an episode on, and that lends a charm to it in itself.

Still a very bad movie, would not suggest watching alone and sober.

[sunshine-tattoo]

So Jurassic World Dominion has some really good pieces but it would have done so much better as a TV series like the original stranger things.

Because stranger things is effectively three different genres all happening at once but it doesn't feel weird due to good timing and separation of the plotlines until everything is ready to come to a header.

Dominion also has three different genres as plotlines but because of the film's time frame they feel muddied and not nearly flushed out enough.

This was a movie that wanted to be good and thoughtful but was put into the jurassic park "running from dinos" box.

Which is so sad because the book version of this world actually has a lot of elements they were trying for in this movie. Like political intrigue and the real risks of science under capitalism.

The camp cretaceous series does a pretty solid job at bringing this more to the forefront.

And their new series, chaos theory, really drives it home.

But both are still animated series for young people and I wish these was an R rated live action series that bridges the gap between these two.

All that being said, I really love that the film actually tries to give real respect to all the iterations of this franchise.

And how the characters really feel genuine and three dimensional.

I was prepared to go into this movie to hate it. Yet I think it actually might be my favorite after the OG '93 film.

Also. Kayla is an absolute hottie and I need her to sit on my face.

[jen-with-a-pen]

If You Go, I Go

summary: It's Bucky's last night before deployment. The evening does not go the way Steve, nor Bucky, thought it would.

pairings: complicated and closeted stucky

warnings: angst, loneliness, feeling the need to sacrifice yourself for preserum!steve, pining, closeted stucky, bisexual stucky, sad steve, messing with canon and adding some of comic canon in whoops

word count: 3.1k

a/n: literally this entire thing was written directly after seeing the gif above. My brain kicked into angsty overdrive and this was born. enjoy my first fic of the new year!

Please consider reblogging my work! Reblogging helps others to be able to enjoy mine and other writers' works! Help me help you help others and reblog <3

read here on AO3! | My Masterlist

gif by @daniel-bruehl | dividers by @firefly-graphics | beta read by the lovely Jane @lunarbuck

The Expo was loud. Louder than what Steve was used to.

Everything was more than what he was used to. So much going on in so many different directions– lights, sounds, voices, smells. Overstimulated was an understatement.

He wanted to be anywhere but there, standing in front of the open-air Science Expo. His  clammy hands were stuffed into his wool pockets while he tried not to heave, fending off yet another anxiety attack. He only wanted Bucky. 

But, for the pièce de résistance, Bucky invited Bonnie and Connie to join them, two doe-eyed gals in pretty skirts and zero interest in anything else. How Steve saw them, though, were two strangers hanging off of Bucky’s arms, vying for a kiss from the Sergeant. 

The thought of it made Steve’s stomach churn like the butter his Ma used to make.

He had to admit, though, the girls weren’t complete strangers. Steve knew them from grade school. They lived around the street corner from the doctor’s office he unwillingly frequented. They’d say hi to him and were nice and polite, but that was it. They were only nice and polite. They, and all the other pretty girls Steve’s age, made it abundantly clear: no self-respecting girl wanted to court the cripple. Hell, for all he knew, if it wasn't for the constant reassurances from his Ma, Bucky could have been getting paid to be his friend– too fed up that even war sounded like a better reprieve than being around Steve.

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t want the girls there. Nor was it that he secretly wished it was only him and Bucky. In fact, it definitely wasn’t because it was his last night with Bucky before he shipped off to camp McCoy a thousand and one miles away.

Well, maybe it was. 

"Stevie, you okay?" 

The grounding timbre of Bucky’s voice derailed Steve’s spiraling train of thought. He hadn't realized he'd zoned out until Bucky clapped a strong hand on his shoulder. 

Bucky's brow knitted with concern, baby blues searching Steve's with earnest worry. He reached his hand out and delicately wiped his cheek, his thumb resting on Steve’s cheek for a second longer as his hand cupped his face. Steve looked down at his two-sizes-too-big coat. Small dark spots had stained his woolen lapel sourced from the dampness on his cheek. He swallowed thickly, embarrassment and shame creeping up into his throat alongside the heat in his cheeks. 

Steve hadn't realized he’d started to cry.

He pathetically raised a bulky sleeve to his face and rubbed at his cheeks hard enough that the wool felt like barbed wire scratching at his china-like skin. He cursed, blinking towards the night sky to rid his eyes of any more tears. They didn’t seem to stop until he bit his lip hard, holding back the bile rising in his throat. He wished he were anywhere but there. 

He wished he could go with Bucky.

"'M fine, Buck," he mumbled, finally looking at his friend and forcing a pained smile onto his lips. "Gonna miss you, is all."

Bucky looked at him for a second more, eyes darting for a moment to Steve’s lips. Worry still plagued his features as he pulled Steve into the familiar embrace they both knew all too well. Pulling away, Bucky slung his arm around Steve’s shoulders and sighed.

“Well, punk, don’t worry ‘bout me. I’ll come back in one piece,” he looked down again at Steve and winked. “I’ll come back to you.”

Steve blushed, smiling at the ground. He could almost see himself in Bucky’s newly shined shoes, the black leather reflecting the festival lights from above as they made their way to meet the girls. Bucky paused, sliding his arm back and raising his hand to wave at the girls. The weight lifted off of Steve’s shoulders, and he shuddered, the cool air sneaking its way back into his body. 

“Wait here, I’ll go get ‘em,” Bucky said, breaking away from Steve’s side and jogging to the gigantic statue the girls were huddled under. He watched Bucky as the same sinking feeling climbed back into his stomach, blinking back any more tears threatening to leave his eyes again. 

Pansy. That’s what he was. Not a man, not even enough to be anybody. Nothing but a –

“Steve?” Bucky called, breaking through his clouded thoughts once more. “These are our lovely dates for this evening.” 

Steve forced himself to meet Bucky’s eyes, only to be distracted by the two girls dangling off the Sergeant’s arms. Each of them smiled at their arm candy, doe eyes scanning his chiseled features and competing for who could grin the toothiest. 

Steve stifled a laugh when he saw the lipstick between their teeth. 

Bucky gestured his locked arms to Steve. He forced a smile, sticking out a hand for the girls to shake. The girls briefly broke their focus to acknowledge him, looking down at his extended hand. Their arms only gripped tighter to Bucky, a poor attempt to save face and keep their smiles from faltering. Steve sighed, knowing this would be the beginning of the end. He retracted his hand and returned it to his coat pocket, instead nodding to both girls and giving Bucky a defeated look. 

Bucky chewed his lip, his brow knitting together at the pained look in Steve’s eyes. Turning to Bonnie, the blonde with neatly pinned curls and a pretty red dress, he wiggled free from her grasp and nodded to Steve. 

“Bonnie, this is my best guy, Steve. Steve, you ‘member Bonnie?” 

Bonnie’s strained smile didn’t reach as far as she intended it to. Her eyes stared blankly at Steve as if processing and accepting him as the fate she’d succumbed to by agreeing to be his date. Her eyes flicked over to Connie, imaginary daggers shooting straight into her friend’s chest.

This oughta be fun.

“Oh, Steve Rogers! I remember you!” She greeted in feigned excitement as she instinctively stuck out her hand to him. He gulped as he shot a quick, pleading look to Bucky, who mouthed, ‘kiss it.’ He reached his clammy hand out to hers, chapped lips meeting her delicately smooth skin. His nostrils flared, stomach churning as he inhaled her sickeningly sweet perfume. Choking back a gag, he glanced up at her as her smile turned into a subtle cringe. He looked at Bucky, whose hand around Connie’s shoulder seemed to tighten as he gnawed on his lip, the slightest bit of envy filling his gaze as it flicked from Steve to Bonnie. 

“Nice t’ meet you, doll,” Steve sighed as he dropped Bonnie’s hand, his own snaking right back into his pocket. 

“Well, now that we all know each other, how about gettin’ to Stark’s Show?” Bucky suggested. “I heard he’s gone all out this year!” 

“Yeah, it should be starting soon!” Connie added.

Bucky smiled, Steve’s heart fluttering as he gave Connie his arm and began leading the group into the middle of the Expo. Bonnie trotted along next to him, wiggling her way onto his other arm as Bucky continued to tell them about Stark, his groundbreaking inventions, and his theories on how the man alone could alter the war as they knew it. 

Steve trailed behind the trio, chuckling to himself as he listened to Bucky’s ramblings. The girls seemed to give less of a damn, bored out of their minds but hiding it better than Steve thought they would. He smirked to himself, Bucky’s excited voice taking him back to nights shared in their tiny Brooklyn apartment. The long nights they would both lie in bed, Steve forcing himself to stay awake to savor Bucky’s voice as he talked about science, books, and his theories on his favorite radio program, Avenger.

Steve would give anything for one more night like that.

As they approached the main stage, Steve's stomach rumbled. He cursed, realizing he forgot to eat again. How disappointed Bucky would be if he knew. He looked ahead to Bucky, who had turned over his shoulder with a concerned, furrowed brow. 

‘You okay?’ he mouthed. 

‘Snack,’ Steve responded as he pointed a bony thumb at the vendor next to him. Bucky nodded, his eyes lingering on Steve a second longer before returning to the girls.

Digging around for pocket change, Steve approached the vendor. The sugary scent of candied almonds and caramel corn wafted into his nose, his mouth watering as he pulled the coins out from the depths of his pockets. The girl at the booth smiled at him, all freckles and gap teeth. He ordered a small bag of almonds, his face flushing as his hand grazed hers offering the money. He swore he felt like he turned as red as her hair. 

Get it together, Rogers.

He thanked her and dove back into the ocean of people, popping a few almonds into his mouth as he wove through the bodies finding Bucky. He spotted a waving hand clad in Army green poking out of the sea of people, and he beelined for it. 

“Glad ya made it back, Stevie- er, Rogers,” Bucky fumbled, quickly glancing at both girls to see if they caught the name. 

Steve’s heart, butterflies and all, died a little bit more when Bucky corrected himself. The familiar lump in his throat and the burn in his eyes threatened to return as he tried to ignore the nickname he knew all too well. 

As Steve opened his mouth, music erupted from the loudspeakers surrounding the stage, announcing Howard Stark’s arrival as he forced one of the showgirls against his lips. His voice boomed over the music as the crowd applauded. The girls stared at the millionaire mogul in awe– Bucky included– as he introduced his latest feat of the flying car. 

Steve popped more candies into his mouth, chewing as he listened absently at the selling points of the flying car. Bonnie looked back over her shoulder, her brow twitching upon laying eyes on Steve standing behind her as if remembering he still existed. She gave him a once over before turning back to the stage, her smile and awe returning to her face as quickly as it had disappeared. He paused mid-chew, looking down at his snack. Out of the sheer good manners his mother taught him, he extended his arm over her shoulder, the bag crinkling as he offered some to his so-called ‘date.’ 

In an instant, her demeanor dropped again, she snapped her head back to him. She eyed the bag of candied almonds as her nose scrunched, recoiling as if he’d offered her a handful of garbage. He looked at her in confusion, only to be met with the same daggers she’d shot Connie earlier being fired directly at him. 

He slowly retracted his arm and looked at the candies. They were the same sugar-coated almonds he’d been eating the entire time, not some moldy science experiment. He blinked as he felt the sting return to his eyes, tears blurring his vision. The lump appeared suddenly back in his throat, thicker and heavier. He couldn’t swallow, couldn’t see, couldn’t speak.

He’d lost his appetite. 

He didn’t care about the Expo, about Stark, about the stupid flying car that didn’t seem to fly at all. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to be with the girls, with the people, not even with Bucky. 

He wanted to be alone. 

He bit his quivering lip, turning on his heel as the crowd erupted again, his eyes searching for any escape route he could find. He stood up on his toes to scan over another couple behind him when he froze at the illuminated Uncle Sam poster at the back of the crowd. 

‘I WANT YOU!’

A sign. Literally and figuratively. 

If Bucky had to go, he would too. 

The candy-striped bag crumpled in his hands as he shouldered his way through the crowd, the Uncle Sam poster a beacon of light as he made his way toward the recruitment station. The closer he got, the faster his legs seemed to work, carrying him to the entryway of the station. He’d barely crossed the threshold before a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder.

“Steve, hey, you’re kinda missin’ the point of a double date,” Bucky chided, turning Steve to face him. Hurt plagued his features as his brow knitted further, eyes searching Steve’s for an answer. 

“And I think Connie’s missin’ a mirror with all that lipstick in her teeth,” Steve shot back. 

“What the hell, Steve,” he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the entryway to the side of the station, shaking him slightly, “What’s gotten into you t’night, huh?” 

Anger flooded into Steve’s veins as he grabbed Bucky’s hand and threw it off of him. He huffed, throwing the crumpled bag of wasted candies onto the ground and stomping on them.

“You don’t understand, Buck!” Steve’s voice shook, “You’ll never understand!” 

“Understand what, Steve?” Bucky gritted. 

“That if you go, I go!” 

His chest heaved as tears spilled down his cheeks. His hands shook as much as his voice as they turned into fists at his side.

“If you go to war, I go to war. If you leave, then–” he choked out a sob, “then I have nothing left! I am nothing! Without you, I’m nothing!” He sputtered, choking down air as he grabbed Bucky by the arms. “I didn’t wanna spend tonight with the girls, I wanted to spend it with you!”

He sobbed again, pulling Bucky to him. The dark green coat had dampened with the blond’s tears. Bucky stood still, arms at his side, speechless.

“It’s ‘cause I love you.” 

His confession, muffled and final, brought Bucky back to reality. He continued to cry, gasping lightly as he felt Bucky’s heavy arms slowly wrapping around him, squeezing tightly around his friend. Bucky bent his head to Steve’s, soft blond hair gracing his lips as he pressed a kiss to Steve’s head. Steve shook again and paused, slowly looking up to find Bucky’s eyes welling with tears of his own. He swallowed thickly, placing another shaky kiss on Steve’s forehead.

“I love you too, punk.” 

Bucky wrapped his arms further around Steve’s waist, hoisting him up past the tips of his toes as he brought the blond to his lips. All of the air left Steve’s lungs, his eyes gaping widely as Bucky pushed into him. Bucky’s arms held onto Steve tightly, keeping him stable as his head spun wildly. Steve pushed into the kiss, locking his arms around Bucky’s neck. His fingers carded into the Sergeant’s hair, nearly knocking his hat off. Steve couldn’t help but grin at the soft moan he elicited from Bucky’s chest, savoring every second before Bucky broke from him. 

Bucky placed Steve gently back on the ground. Steve sniffled, shaking his head as his mouth floundered to find anything to say. Bucky struggled too, reaching for Steve’s hand before he suddenly froze.

“Bucky? Bucky! Are we still going dancing?” Connie called. Bucky snapped to attention, turning on his heel and putting on his best ‘I didn't just kiss my best friend’ face. 

“Y-yes! Of course, ladies!” He responded, his facade dissipating the instant he turned back to Steve. Concern dotted his features, making Steve’s heart pound harder. 

“Look, Stevie, make me one promise,” He pleaded, gathering Steve’s hands into his own, “Wait for me, will ya?” 

Steve’s face fell. Confusing, hurt, all boiling in his blood, spilling over into the mess of emotions he felt swirling in his head. This is all Bucky could say after that? 

“What do y’mean, Bucky? I’m going in there to enlist. I’m going to fight. If you go, I go!”

Bucky faltered, grip loosening on Steve’s hands. He licked his lips, weight shifting as he glanced over his shoulders. Nobody paid them any mind, not even the girls. He turned back to Steve and set his jaw. 

“Steve, this is war. This isn’t some back alley fight where I’m gonna come save your sorry ass again. There’re jobs here! You can stay at the apartment or work for the pharmacy. You can–”

“I can, what, work in the factories? Collect scrap metal until God says when?” He yanked his hands away from Bucky’s hold. 

“Why not? It’s safe! It means you’ll be here! It means I won’t have to worry about you–”

“Bucky!” Steve’s voice boomed, snapping Bucky’s attention back to him. He silently fumed, biting his lip to speak any further. He felt like he drew blood when Steve reached for his hands this time. His small palms paled in comparison to Bucky’s, but he managed to hold them as well as Bucky held his. He tugged at Bucky’s fingers, commanding the Sergeant to look at him. 

“There are men laying down their lives ‘nd I got no right to do anything less than them, less than you. This isn’t about me, or you, or anyone, or anything. This is about doing what’s right,” he said. His thumbs ran over Bucky’s knuckles, gracing the veins in his

hands he’d studied so many times before when he drew in his sketchbook.

Bucky scoffed. “And you got nothing to prove, huh?”

“Sarge!” Bonnie’s voice rang. “We goin’ dancing or what?”

Bucky gritted a sigh through his teeth, plastering another fake smile once more. 

“Yes, we are!” 

Steve blanched, letting go of Bucky’s hands and crossing them over his chest.

Bucky turned back to Steve, who stood with a shoulder to him, side-eyeing the Sergeant with hurt in his eyes. Bucky could tell Steve’s lip was quivering no matter how hard he bit down on it.

Bucky dropped his head, knowing it would be the last time he’d see Steve. He shook his head, looking for the right words to part with in light of their newly confessed love.

“Promise me one thing then,” he requested, pulling Steve into a hug. His arm slung around his shoulders, patting him as Steve mimicked his motions almost half-heartedly. 

“What?” His voice muffled into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

Bucky released him from the hug, turning to leave for the girls when, Steve stopped him, grabbing him by the tie. His bony, nimble fingers reached up, straightening the silk fabric, smoothing down his lapel, and fixing the gold buttons donning it. He smiled weakly, looking up at the Bucky one last time. 

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with ya.”