#story-ception

[triptychgrip]

Viktor writes a "fix-it" fic

My newest story -- in which Viktor writes a fix-it fic in order to make up for his "oops, watch the nosebleed!" failure to catch Yuuri the prior year -- is now up on ao3!

I hope the excerpt below piques your interest!

“Definitely not angsty enough,” Georgi offered, brandishing his draft copy with gusto. “Where is the gaping wound in my chest, Vitya?”

The deadly serious expression on his face suggested that he was in no way aiming for sarcasm.

“By the time I get to the last page, it should feel as if my heart was ripped out and cast to the ground! And then trampled on, to the point of unrecognizability!” he exclaimed, clutching a hand to his chest as if to stem the imaginary blood-loss from said organ-ripping.

In the Skype window of his laptop, Viktor saw how Phichit was trying to catch his eye and looked away, knowing he’d lose it, otherwise.  

“How could Coach Viktor feel anything but anguish from the sheer rollercoaster of emotion he undergoes?” Georgi went on, standing up and beginning to pace around the coffee table, his eyes glinting with crazed fervor. “First, obviously, would come utter terror when Yuuri smacks into the rink barrier, face first. Vitya’s 34 years of life flash before his very eyes!”

“I was 27! You know this, Gosha…our birthdays are only a day apart!” Viktor immediately called out in protest, his words drowned out by Mila and Yurio’s squawking laughter.

Georgi ignored them all, his voice and body language growing even more animated.

“But Japan’s Ace skater valiantly continues on with his program, like a beacon of resilience for us all! Though every fiber of Vitya’s being longs to hold him and eradicate his pain – not only physical, but emotional, as well! – this is the cruel nature of our sport: Yusha must finish his performance, injuries be damned.”

He paused and closed his eyes, dramatically.

Meanwhile on the other laptop he’d set up, Viktor saw Yuuko stuff her fist into her mouth.

[anachronismstellar]

BTW, SVSSS fandom, I have an idea that I'll never use, but if you do or if you know anything like this pls tag me I'm begging u

The concept of fanfiction shaping the SVSSS story but not like it already has, because duh, but in a fanfic-ception situation

Like- Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua navigating fanfic tropes and the system showing them tags from AO3 like events

Idk I just think it would be hilarious

[varijeri]

so lets recap a little (long post, TLDR at bottom) Phil first wakes up in his bunker, after the mexican independence day celebration. he's still wearing his mariachi outfit. he goes down into his basement where Tallulah's farm is, and finds a strange chest with a strange storybook that alludes to his eggs being at a set of coordinates close to uppies. he leaves immediately, putting almost all his items in a large securitycraft chest in his bunker. when he gets to the birdhouse, he's locked in by Cucurucho, and Chayanne's floatie and Tallulah's beanie are in there with him. a week and a bit later, Phil's hardcore stream fades into blackness as he wakes up in the birdhouse, this time wearing his regular clothes. this time, Chayanne and Tallulah's accessories aren't there, and the door to the birdhouse is different. Phil opens the door, and the sky is pitch black. he walks along a short path, and Cucurucho is waiting for him in a little quartz sitting area, seated at a table with warped wood furniture. Phil sits opposite from him, questioning where his eggs are. i believe Cucurucho laughs at him and gives him a book, written in a similar story-like vein to the one he first found in his chest. this book prompts him to "wake up before he forgets how to", and he wakes up. (metagaming-wise, i think this was in a separate server, since in other streams he only joined the main server towards the tail end of this bit) this time, he's standing in his basement under the bunker, and the strange chest isn't there anymore, he has his mariachi outfit on, his items are still in his inventory — for all intents and purposes it's like he never went on that trip alone to that birdhouse. except, in his inventory is a single potato and a single poppy. later, after the event, he and Tubbo go over to where the birdhouse is meant to be, and aside from some trees that don't look like where they're meant to be there, the birdhouse is completely gone. like it was all a dream.

now up til now this could have been all a terrible nightmare — perhaps a federation induced nightmare, but in the end, not real. But we know from Forever that rollbacks are canon. And the Federation can potentially break into securitycraft trapdoors/doors/chests. So it's perfectly possible for this whole ordeal to have been a dream — but it's also perfectly possible for it to have been real, and for the Federation to have removed all traces of it, just to fuck with Phil even more.

TL;DR: phil's entire kidnapping ordeal is confusing and seems like a dream-ception type situation, but it could honestly have been real given rollbacks are a thing.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

I acknowledge that I have fallen behind, but hey, at least I'm still trying to catch up? 😅 I also acknowledge that these all started short, and yet have slowly gotten longer. What can I say? I'm a wordy bitch.

Find the prompt list HERE.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

DAY 11 Prompt: Beelzebub Ever wonder what's up with Beel's human world tattoo?

It happened the first week into devil-sitting in the human world. You were sitting at the kitchen island –a counter far fancier than you could ever afford– watching Satan attempt to use a food processor to crush graham crackers. You were looking forward to tasting his take on an apple crumble from your world. You had offered to supply him with a recipe, but after some slight consideration, he had opted to adjust his own recipe to the available ingredients.

You wanted to trust him. He was far from an inexperienced cook.

But, you also really wanted a good pie. 

So, there you were, Satan hissing unintelligibly under his breath, when Beel walked in with a shopping bag bouncing against his calf. Typically, that wouldn’t be anything bizarre. This was his temporary home too, after all. You expected him to rub his growling stomach, shoot that dazzling smile your way, and then attempt to steal a bite of the apples Satan was chopping at a frankly terrifying speed. 

However, when he shrugged off his rain-spotted windbreaker, you noticed something different, something new. A large gauze wrap cloaked the majority of Beel’s right bicep, stretching from elbow to shoulder. 

Satan’s knife stilled as Beel slid onto the free stool at your side. Emerald eyes wide in alarm, Satan asked, “What happened to your arm? 

“Hm?” Beel was already snacking on a stray apple. He had the audacity to survey his left forearm, brow creasing in genuine confusion. “Nothing?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Satan pointed the tip of the knife towards his brother, and though you knew he was simply waving the object because it was already in his hand, you really wished he wouldn’t brandish something so sharp so casually. “You’re all bandaged up.”

Before Beel could answer, Belphie was padding into the kitchen, Lucifer trailing behind him. Satan spun on his heel towards the sound, the knife switching targets to the brother that Satan was most likely to stab. The curious spark in Belphie’s sleep-dazed eyes, partnered with his absent itching of his right bicep, was clearly what had corralled Lucifer into checking on the twins. 

“I had the weirdest dream,” Belphie yawned, wandering over to take a seat next to Beel. “I was sleeping–”

“Sleep-ception,” Satan murmured, catching your eye when you snickered. You had caught him pouring through critically acclaimed human world movies of the last decade in the theater room at various times over the week. 

“Let him finish,” Lucifer gestured for Belphie to continue, his dark eyes fixed on Beel’s bandage with an unreadable stare. 

“I was asleep, but there was this loud buzzing noise,” Belphie cradled his cheek in his palm, his lashes fluttering dangerously low. “The longer it went on, the hungrier I felt. Then, I was full and I woke up.”

You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from critiquing Belphie’s story-telling capabilities. Talk about anti-climatic. However, his words did resonate with Beel, comprehension finally dawning in a small, “Oh.”

Though you waited for him to elaborate, Lucifer beat you to the punch, his gaze narrowing as he deduced, “You got a tattoo.” 

Satan dropped the knife. “You did?!” 

Beel blinked, meeting both of their stares before scanning the kitchen island for any other ingredients Satan required less of. “Yeah.”

You felt the rage radiate from Lucifer, felt it smother the room and dampen Beel’s energy instantly. Everything went dark. Lucifer’s eyes, Belphie’s groan, Satan’s brown sugar burning in a pan on the stovetop. It was as if a solar eclipse had occurred just outside the kitchen window.

“Beelzebub,” Lucifer’s voice boomed with authority, “How could you do something so foolish?”

It was strange to see Beel curl in on himself. Big, tall Beel. Gentle giant Beel. He was always looming over everyone, untouchable, and yet there he was, cowering as his shoulders leapt to his ears. 

“Letting a human mark your skin? Allowing a human close enough to touch you, to attempt to pierce your flesh?” Lucifer hissed. You could tell he was holding back his wings from bursting out from under his jacket. It wasn’t until he continued that you then understood what he was getting at. “Did you think they wouldn’t notice? Human needles are no match for demon skin. You know that.”

Oh. It wasn’t a humans are inferior thing (you had been only mildly offended mere seconds earlier), but a we are undercover thing. Belphie and Satan, who had both decided that the marbling in the counter was simply mesmerizing, stiffened, awaiting Beel’s response. 

“I do,” Beel resigned, “I asked Solomon to cast a spell that would soften my skin beforehand. The artist didn’t notice anything different about me.” 

Lucifer’s dominating aura eased ever so slightly. You held your breath as he stood there, in the doorway of the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists. When he finally pinched the bridge of his nose, let out a heavy exhale typically reserved for Mammon and Mammon alone, you sighed in solidarity. Satan and Belphie followed your lead. 

“It was a reckless thing to do,” Lucifer crossed his arms, fixed Beel with a stern glare. “A terrible risk. You could have exposed all of us. You could have posed a threat to Diavolo’s relationship with the human world!”

“I’m sorry, Lucifer.” Beel ducked his head, and you couldn’t help but notice the way he placed his hands palm-up on the counter, a symbol of surrender. “I didn’t mean to put the family in danger of being discovered.” 

When his violet eyes returned from their favorite speck of graham cracker to the right of the food processor, he added, “I’ve been thinking about how our demon markings are similar to a tattoo, right? But we didn’t have any say in them.”

Belphie’s fingers flew to his right collarbone. Lucifer glanced upwards for a moment, eyes crossing slightly to Satan’s amusement, an unconscious nod to the diamond that was currently invisible upon his brow. 

Beel himself rolled his shoulders and explained, “I thought it would be nice to have a mark on my skin that I could choose. A tattoo that could represent something important to me.”

That hit Lucifer directly in the heart, appealed to the sentimentality he liked to hold close to his chest. Satan regarded Beel with searing intrigue, Belphie smiling softly as he relaxed against the counter.

The argument was dropped, and Beel nudged Belphie awake, excitedly explaining that the shopping bag at his feet contained a snack Beel had picked out specially for his twin. They ran off before anyone could question further, leaving a heavy tension in the room that you had come to expect when Lucifer and Satan had to fabricate conversation. 

“Hey Lucifer,” You threw out into the uncomfortable air, “You like apple pie a lot too, don’t you?”

And then you ran. 

The question of Beel’s tattoo was forgotten for the most part. He didn’t often bare his arms in the Devildom, his penchant for sweaters and jackets rendering the memory of the argument irrelevant 90% of the time. Still, you thought about it on occasion. When the bandage came off and the ink was revealed to be a seemingly random arrangement of swoops, you took it upon yourself to discover the meaning behind the body art. 

Was it some warped amalgamation of their sin sigils? Did it represent Lilith? Did the two arching lines have something to do with twins? It kept you up at night. Not often, but sometimes. Enough that you asked him about it more than once. 

He only ever shot you a sunny smile in response. 

It wasn’t until a year later, when Beel had contacted you while on an assignment from Diavolo in the human world, that the truth came out. 

Beel was accompanying you grocery shopping before you would cook dinner at your tiny apartment for the two of you when he paused. “Can we stop here?”

You glanced over your shoulder to see Beel drooling at the sign for a sushi restaurant. Big surprise. Stepping off the main path before a clueless pedestrian ran into your hulking companion, you peered at the notice in the door that had caught his eye. 

“Oh, they’re running the Shooting Dragon Meteor contest again,” Beel commented as your jaw went slack.

Hold on. 

You jabbed your index finger at the top left of the promotional flyer. “That logo looks like your tattoo!”

And despite your shock, he simply nodded, all smiles. “The restaurant partnered with a tattoo parlor nearby. If you get a tattoo of the logo, you get free Shooting Dragon Meteor rolls for life.”

The reality hit you like a freight train, those sleepless nights rearing their ugly heads with a vengeance. Your mouth flapped like a fish out of water, your tongue failing to wrap around vowels. Your mind was moving too fast to properly formulate a sentence. 

Beel was already muttering about what order he was going to place when you exploded, “You told Lucifer it represented something important to you!”

Though, a small, exasperated part of you asked, why are you surprised? 

“It does.” Beel frowned, confusion creasing his brow. “Shooting Dragon Meteor rolls use a very rare, high-quality tuna that can only be fished in this area once a year. I wanted Belphie to try them, since sushi is his favorite.”

Oh, and if the whiplash wasn’t a little hard to process, then neither was Solomon’s cooking. Of course, that was just Beel in a way, wasn’t it? Of course such a shallow gesture had a deeper meaning. Of course the tattoo still led back to family. 

Of course Beel would tattoo a restaurant logo on his skin to give his brother free sushi once a year. 

And Beel’s enthusiasm had you wondering why you doubted him for even a second. As he exited the restaurant, a veritable feast of sushi rolls stuffed into six plastic bags, he beamed, “I’m gonna visit you at this time every year, okay?” 

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

OBEY ME! MONTH MASTERLIST

[imupwashingtheymouth]

Restart: An Alternate Mouthwashing Ending

R:ame is an experimental-type comic following what could’ve happened after Curly’s years in the cryopod.

It has themes of trauma, gore, death, Jimmy, disability, and generally dark topics.

It’s planned to just be a short one-shot story, but may have more than one ending (ending-ception).

All asset credits go to Wrong Organ and all those who worked on them. also yes some of the backgrounds are from monstrum.

Start Here

[fanficmanic]

I just finished watching 8x08, and I have so many feelings.

So. Many. Mixed. Feelings!

Fair warning - long post ahead.

For one, I re-blogged a post sometime after 8x01 or 02 aired, I can't really remember, about the parallel's between Eddie's first season on the show and this one. With the insane amount of presence that Ryan has had so far in promoting the season so far, I've had this bad feeling at the pit of my stomach that this would be his last season. Now, hear me out, I don't think today's episode was his last (the masses would riot if it is), BUT, they have left the room wide open for it to happen fully by the end of the season.

Two, the level of act-ception this show is doing is hilarious! You have 3 of the most talented actors out there (I'm looking at you Oliver, Ryan, and Kenny) act so badly that if it wasn't so funny I'd die of second-hand embarrassment. Who ever said that this show was serious is sadly mistaken.

Three, Buck's reaction on the couch after finding out Eddie has a realtor interview for houses in El Paso. I've read so many comments and posts, and again, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I want this to be the start of Buck's realization of his feelings for Eddie, but on the other hand, if it is, it feels like almost anti-climatic! This was the fall finale (granted, I don't have much experience with those) but shouldn't it end with more of a cliffhanger? (Promo for March's 2-part return is not included in this rhetorical question)

Now, what do I want to see happen (I know the chances of it actually happening is slim-to-zero but I'm saying it anyway)?

For the Eddie-Chris story, I want Eddie to go to El Paso, scream at his parents and say something along the lines of "you feel so guilty about taking my childhood away that you're overcompensating with my son and giving him the childhood that I should've had". Moreover, I don't think Eddie ever badmouthed his parents in front of Chris because: 1. he's a great dad who would never jeopardize Chris's relationship with his grandparents (proven by the fact that Chris felt safe enough to call them when shit hit the fan), and 2. Eddie rarely (if ever) expresses his feelings to anyone (but Buck), so him showing his true feelings about his parents in front of Chris is virtually impossible. So, when Eddie shows up at El Paso and screams at his parents (I want it to happen in front of Chris but without Eddie knowing that Chris is there), Chris will feel like he's just his grandparent's second chance at being good parents and will want to have nothing to do with them. Also, I want Chris to freak out when he finds out that Eddie is looking to buy a house in El Paso because it was never his plan to stay there forever.

If Tim and Co. use this story line to have Eddie leave the 118 and LA, I want him and Chris to decide on a fresh start by going to Hawaii. Dum dum dum: Enter 9-1-1 Hawaii where they follow the lives of members of the 366 fire house who are having to cope with a new captain that just transferred over from LA.

For Buck, my beautiful beautiful Buck. First of all, I bow to the beautiful portrayal that Oliver Stark does with his face alone. He's so expressive when he wants to and being able to show such a wide range of emotion without saying a single word is otherworldly. (This is not saying that the others aren't great actors, I just have a stupid crush on Oliver Stark and I'm self-indulging here).

Anyway, back to what I was saying. The scene between Buck flipping over the tablet, Eddie explaining things, and Buck going to take a seat on the couch with the camera focusing on his face while Eddie wasn't looking wasn't longer than 2-3 minutes at best (could've been longer - seemed too short for my liking to be honest. These two haven't had enough screen time together this season IMHO). However, within just those few minutes, Buck went from panicking about wanting to call Tommy, to skeptical about why Eddie flipped the tablet, to playful about what Eddie must be hiding (like only a best friend would), to shock at hearing Eddie's explanation, to supportive of his best friend's decision (because he knows that Eddie must be dying on the inside at being so far away from Christopher), to panicking again at the possibility of losing his best friend. Buck spirals so easily on a good day. Today? It's a terrible, horrible, no good day and for Buck to be able to put a lid on his emotions so he can be fully supportive of Eddie says a lot! I also think that THIS is what will throw Buck back into his fuckboy phase, and NOT the breakup with Tommy.

Don't get me wrong, I hated how they ended things between Buck and Tommy (the struggles of being a multi-shipper), but in the grand scheme of things, who would have a more profound effect on Buck? Tommy leaving, or Eddie leaving? How about both of them leaving, making him spiral on his own?

Anyway, like I said in a previous post, this is my first time having to go through a fall/holidays hiatus. I don't celebrate Christmas - so I don't have that option to keep my minds off of things. This leaves my mind to wander on its own, which can be a very scary thing. I know that I already planning so many stories (as if I don't have enough ideas in my 9-1-1 folder), but I also know that I'll probably re-watch the show and dissect it with a fine-tooth comb, which will probably results in more story ideas.

I'm also really looking forward to all of the fanfiction that will come out during the coming 3 months.

Right now? This is exactly how I feel.

👇👇👇👇

[fragmentofpossibilitybeacon]

We had Percy-ception while I made the spouse watch TLoVM with me (he waits until entire seasons drop, I watch as they drop).

Percival Taliesin Nigel Von Kawi Corentin Cedricsbane Cecil Vanderbilt Biltmore Morebilt Cecilder de Rolo the Fourth the Fifth was quite invested in Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third’s story arc this season.

[1533-secrets-from-history]

Mistakes in the Magnificent Century part III

(title, ranks and traditions)

Some facts might be the same or very similar to the ones in previous parts,but they will be discussed from different angle.

1. Valide Sultan title

As I have spoken in the previous chapters, pre 1520 mothers of sultans were not sultans at all, they were titles as hatuns, though treated with utmost respect. In 1520 as Suleiman the Magnificent ascended the throne, he bestowed the title of Sultan to her mother Ayşe Hafsa, thus making her the first person in the ottoman history to become sultan from slavery. However, for Ayşe Hafsa being Sultan was not the same as the Valide Sultan that we know today. She was sultan yes, and she was the mother, so "Valide" was the proper address,from her children, as it was for every mother in the Ottoman empire, she was registered as "the mother of Sultan Suleiman", therefore in some sense, we can say she was not "Valide Sultan".

The first person,who actually made the "Valide sultan" a thing and officially registered herself was Nurbanu. So, the first Valide sultan with its full meaning was not Hafsa,but Nurbanu, who was registered as Valide Afife Nurbanu Sultan.

2. Haseki Sultan and Hürrem's marriage.

There were more than just several miscon- ceptions about the subject in the show.

First and foremost it was created specifically for Hürrem,so neither Hafsa nor Mahidevran have ever had the title. It also brought another mistake about Hafsa,that I will explain below,but now I will just make clearer how, when and why the status was created.

It was almost definitely created in mid-1534 after the death of Ayşe Hafsa Sultan and was probably legalised by their marriage, which by some sources is mentioned to be in 1533. If this is right, then it would mean, Suleiman married Hürrem before he gave her the status of Haseki and the marriage only freed her,but the most common and for me the most logical version is that after the death of Hafsa Sultan, Suleiman married her and gave her the title.

The death of Hafsa Sultan is a crucial part in the story, nor because she had some kind of objection towards Hürrem or her promotion,but the legal status of Hürrem reached its peak of necessity after her death. As we know, Ayşe Hafsa was a trusted ally and Confidant of uprising Sultan, even during his time as shehzade, so during the campaigns, his mother was the supervisor of the capital and his family, so the sultan could go to war without worrying about what he was leaving behind. However, after Hafsa's death things changed, Süleiman lost beloved mother and most trustworthy person around him, he needed to act immediately,as the campaign was near. He needed someone,whom he could entrust Harem, Family and the capital. His children were little, Sisters(whom by the way he trusted very much) were all married and Hürrem did not have a proper rank. It is said that he also discussed the candidate of high ranking harem servants, one and most promoted one of whom, in my opinion, would have been Gulfem, but he finally found the best possible solution that would affect his empire for centuries. He married Hürrem, gave her the rank of Haseki Sultan and left her in charge of the Harem, Family and the empire.

Hürrem became the first Haseki sultan in history.

Misusage of the title did not and here and there, not only the status and function,but even relevance of achievement was changed here. In the very first episode, Nigar kalfa made it clear that giving birth to a son, was enough to achieve it however, originally only the chosen ones could become Hasekis until its relevance faded during Murad's reign and completely lost exclusivity during Ibrahim's.

Essentially, the original function of haseki sultan was filling the absence of Valide, therefore only Hürrem and Nurbanu can be considered as the "original Haseki Sultans". Later many women were given the status, however the show made it wrong. Mahidevran,Mahfiruz and Halime never held it, however Şevikar, referred as Şevikar hatun in the show, was actually Haseki Şevikar sultan, the fifth Haseki of Ibrahim, three of whom, Ayşe, Mahinerv and Saçbağli, were left out, which is kind of understandable, because they had no importance in plot, unlike Turhan, never became Valide,unlike Saliha Dilaşub and Muazzez and had no influence on Ibrahim,Unlike Şevikar and Humaşah.

Their social standing is also misportrayed in the show, where Haseki ranks below and bows to imperial princesses, while in real life it was the other way around.

3. Daughters of Ottoman Princesses

In the show, we met three daughters of the ottoman princesses: Esmahan,Huriçihan and Humaşah. They are referred to as Sultans,but in real life the daughters of imperial princesses were not called so,instead they had the title Hanimsultan and ranked even below the imperial consorts. The only exception to that was Humaşah, the daughter of Mihrimah Sultan, who received the title and prestige of the Sultan.

4. Harem Kalfa

In the show, they are just giving people the rank left and right. Nigar was already a high ranking, trusted servant of harem,but it turned out that she had only been there for 6 years. Fidan hatun was banished for attacking Sultan,but after a while she returned and became Kalfa, in Kösem melek hatun received rank out of the blue etc.

In real life, however, becoming kalfa was a long process. As we know,there were hundreds or even thousands of girls in the harem,but only a handful of them would become favourites,but what would happen to others? After ten years of being a harem resident some of them would have been transferred from harem and soon married off, some could by freedom, while others, usually the smartest and most responsible ones,would go to a special school that lasted two years, they would revive extensive training, both intellectual and physical, after that they could return in harem as teachers and overseers and if they were good enough they could promote.

There was actually quite a complicated hierarchy of harem servants,not only there were Kalfa's who had duty to supervise certain works like food or laundry(later even coffee),but there were administrative ranks, that they could achieve:

Mistress chief treasurer(Baş Hazinedar usta): she was head of the harem treasury.

Treasurers(Hazinedars): there were other hazinedars as well, who worked in harem treasury. Baş hazinedar usta was their direct superior.

Imperial Kalfa(Hünkar Kalfası): Personal kalfa of the padişah.

Lady stewardess(Kahya kadin/Kethüda Hatun): she ranked below imperial consorts,but her role raised during sultanate of women, when Gülfem and Çanfeda held the office, they were right hand women of Chief Harem managers(Hürrem and Nurbanu) therefore second in command of the Harem.

Senior Kalfa(Büyük Kalfa): Head of Kalfas, she was responsible for literally everything that was happening in the harem, sultans and şehzades treated her with respect and called "my kalfa" or "your grace"

Lady secretary: secretary of administrative organs of harem.

Junior kalfa( Küçük Kalfa): Senior kalfa was their direct superior. They had ranks within( second- ranking, third ranking, novice etc.) They were sometimes teachers and daily overseers.

Çanfeda for example entered the harem with Nurbanu, so in late 1530's or early 1540's. Nurbanu became favourite and went to Manisa, while Çanfeda remained in the old palace, in 1566 she was already a high ranking kalfa in the old palace, when Nurbanu called her. That would mean she was sent to train as kalfa in late 1540's or yearly 1550's, therefore she would have a decade or two to raise in ranks.

5. Princely harem.

In the magnificent century, prince usually gets his harem, whole in Topkapi palace, which is the lie through and through. They went even further and made up with the rule that the prince can not have a child with their concubine until they get their province to rule. Why would they be allowed to have concubines,but not having a child, when contraception is still unreliable.

Actually, their case was far more easier, princes would revive their sanjaks while still very young, their mothers, governesses and close servants would carefully choose their harem and leave the palace with their mother and full sisters. That also brought another mistake in the show. In the flashbacks, we can see Ayşe Hafsa and Hatice visiting Suleiman in Manisa, however Ayşe Hafsa along with Fatma and beyhan left for Manisa with Suleiman in 1512, while Hatice,being 4 years older than Suleiman, got married the same year.

6. Regency

They introduced Kösem's regency as something unheard of,while completely neglecting Handan and Halime.

Handan was the first woman ever to rule as regents in her son's stead. She appointed viziers, discussed political matters and built a trusted circle for her son.

Halime was not officially registered regent but due to the insanity of her son, paşas asked her to rule the state after the rebellion she herself organized.

Kösem's and Turhan's regency is well known, so I will not speak about it.

7. Kösem's wedding

Not exactly the mistake as it is not proven, but as the event is highly unlike, I'll just put it there.

In 1609 it is said that Ahmed had four children with two women,but neither of them were married to him. In the two latters, one form 1612 and other from 1616, the 1612 letter straight out mentions her as sultan's concubine, who he loves the most and in 1616 she is mentioned as juts Haseki,but nothing is said about the marriage( I am not adamant about him not marrying her,I am just saying that it's unlikely, however I admitt she might indeed was concubine in 1612 and after the death of Mahfiruz, Ahmed married her and raised her stipend),however early in Kösem's regency vencians questioned ottoman practice, that mother of sultan was honoured and even given the regency,despite not being married to his father. As we know in Venice and generaly in Europe, source of power for woman was her marriage and not just motherhood. That is a time, when it was "unrevealed" that ahemd married her before he died,(if that latter is to be believed than Kösem and Ahmed did not marry in 1613), now it was actually thought that it was false information used by Kösem to strengthen her position in the eye of Venice as they needed friendly relation with them. That is not widely accepted,but it can be strengthened by the fact that Vencians still did not believe it, so perhaps they knew for sure that it was lie?

8. The death of Halime sultan and Mustafa.

In the show Halime, like many others, is victim of making Kösem seem more powerful, while Mustafa was killed by Murad. In real life, Mustafa died of natural causes, probably because of epilepsy in 1539, he was buried in Hagia Sophia and the coffin was placed in a mosque built for him. Halime is buried next to him and no permission of reburial was asked or granted, therefore Halime was not killed by Kösem, she went to the old palace and lived a long life.

9. 1517-1540

I'll be honest, I don't remember much of those episodes, they were boring and monotonous for me, but what I remember is one part from Kösem's iconic " The state you are talking about is mine" speech. She mentioned that she took over the reins of the state from Ahmed 15 years before the event, well that is a huge lie. Though the show runners tried to make Kösem all powerful, the invincible mastermind behind every single breath people drew in the empire,but she was actually quite powerless from time to time and the period between 1617 and 1623 is one of such. She was still young and inexperienced that time and main powerhouses in the empire were Halime and Osman's faction and she was not the leading force during any of the rebellions, she was allie of Halime, who, according to many historians, had major influence that time and the great impact on Kösem. Some even go as far as claiming that she persuaded Osman to kill Mehmed, so Kösem would take her side.

In short, Kösem did not have reins of sultanate for 15 years,but only about 10.

As I said, I don't remember much about the episodes, but from what I remember, Kösem had something to do with Murad's death. I'll be short on this: that's a lie.

10. Coup of 1648

The show made Kösem something of a filicidal tyrant. However, In real life her tyrannical tendencies appeared only after the death of Ibrahim, which he had nothing to do with. The ones behind the incident were Turhan and her faction. Kösem indeed took part in the Ibrahim's dethronement for the good of everyone,but mainly because she had seen the mad sultan dethroned,but lived. Mustafa had a similar situation,he was dethroned and locked in kafe, while his mother was sent to the old palace, which Kösem was absolutely willing to do. However, Turhan made her move and had Ibrahim executed to get rid of opposition for good, or perhaps because of the old resentment. Things did not go exactly as she had planned though, Kösem became regent and visibly started to avenge Ibrahim's death, it became clear that she was not going to hand over any power to Turhan and after she started to oppose even went as far as attempted dethronement of Mehmed(however she was not going to kill him.)

Therefore the child killing monster the show made her become is straight out a lie. One of her sons died of natural causes and the other was killed by outer forces, that she tried to avenge.

[kaishin-fic-rec]

Writing about Thieves and Fair Maidens (kaishin)

by: Theonlygamergost

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45598489/chapters/114739213

chapters: 6/6 words: 28,068

Summary:

On the Kaitou KID fan forum, a KID x reader fanfiction begins to be posted soon after Kudou Shinichi returns from his total real years in America. Becoming the hot topic for KID fans, task force and general public alike. Kaito thinks nothing of it, or well, he thinks about Shinichi a lot. Little tantei-kun was dashing, but Meitantei? Meitantei is drop-dead gorgeous. Oh, and Chi-san has a real knack for writing cliche romance stories.

Lil note:

Canon compliant, post-canon

Few weeks after the return of Kudou Shinichi, a particular Kid X reader fanfiction begins to garner attention, from Kaitou Kid fans to book critics, praising for its brilliant story and writing. Kaito becomes alarmed at certain details author-san had added for the phantom thief, and Shinichi unconsciously writes an self-insert fic.

(read more for tags)

Tags:

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences No Archive Warnings Apply

Pairings: Kudou Shinichi/Kuroba Kaito, Hakuba Saguru/Nakamori Aoko

Others: Post-Black Organization Takedown (Meitantei Conan) Pre-Relationship Getting Together Pining Mutual Pining Slow Burn Kaito is slightly horny for Shinichi The opposite is also true but subtler Jealousy Jealous Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid Flashbacks Love story (literally) fan fiction It’s a fan fiction ception I write a fic about two characters where one characters writes a fan fiction for two characters For once it’s beta read! Banter Bickering Love Confessions Kaito ties a lot of people up I don't know why it wasn’t planned Apart from one time maybe two I swear it’s not a kink It’s just a convenient way to trap people!

[machinelikesmachines]

Review of Under New Maintenance

Hi! This is my fic "Under New Maintenance"! I figured I would send it in cause I saw your post floating around about reading the first 3 chapters ^-^ As for the payment part: I know this is an odd thing to be proud of in specifically an xReader fic, but I'm really proud of my character's interactions with other characters like their coworkers and their little sister. To me it helps sell them as a person planted in this world (also I just think the interactions with Ina, the little sister, are very sweet).

Secondly, I like the little bits of storytelling within the story (story-ception)! Scenes of play, or coming up with a bedtime story off the top of their head - those little moments give me warm and fuzzy, comforting feelings and I'd like to think instances like that have the same effect for my readers!

Third, I just think it's a nice read! It has angst, but there's always feelings of hope and good people surrounding the reader. I also think the interactions with the DCA are cute/sweet! Even though I haven't updated the fic in a while due to just, in general life stuff, I'm really proud of what I have out so far and think it's worth a read for anyone looking for a DCA xReader with some angst and good feelings ^-^

---

I was going to just read the three chapters, but the little story at the end of chapter 3 made me curious enough to keep going a bit further, so I must agree with your second point. Ina is a delight and a very good kid, and the contrast between Reader's adult responsibilities and Ina's childhood is interesting, though I wonder how Reader would react if she had a meltdown typical of kids her age.

The beginning respects my time and doesn't meander while still matching the sort of easy, low-stakes pace that the rest of the story is taking. I personally like a bit more action and conflict, but the characters are lively enough to keep my attention. Everything seems to be going a bit too well for them, though (power bill notwithstanding), so I would like to see if Reader is about to run into some arguments or, barring that, a peek into their backstory. I want to break their stiff upper lip, which seems to already be quaking.

The DCA know exactly what they want and they aim to get it! I found this interesting enough to replace their canon abrasiveness. I wonder if Ina tells them about Reader a lot. I wonder if she misrepresents them.

Overall, the craftsmanship of the writing makes me trust in wherever the story might go, even if there's less conflict than I'd like. If you're looking for some fluff, Under New Maintenance is a good choice.

Do you want a review of your DCA fic? Details here.

[starflungwaddledee]

Okay you gave me permission so now it's time to go fully autistic

*inhale*

So something I'm really interested in (mostly for my Bandee x Marx bias) is that comic with Marx and Bandee interacting, like, what's their relationship in this au, how'd they get to that point and heck, what was even happening? also it kinda seems like Bandee may be the main guy in this au or is just really important which makes me happy as Bandee isn't treated the best by Nintendo at all (hell, Sakrai said he didn't add Bandee into smash because he didn't like him) so seeing Bandee get the spotlight always brings me joy

And about the Meta and Galacta comic, it seems like Bandee plays a factor here too, with the mention of him being what gets the most reaction out of Meta and that makes sense because canonically Bandee is the weakest of the four and most likely to die quite easily, so it would make sense for the others to be protective of him

ALSO META BEING SEALED AWAY AND GALACTA SAYING HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF, I'M ASSUMING BANDEE, DOES THAT MEAN GALACTA TAKES META'S PLACE??? HELLO???

anyway hi im really invested and also your art is fucking astounding

hell yea, fully autistic! the best kind of message! thank you also for the sweet words about my artwork ahhh! but hoo boy isn't this The Ask Ever. okay, let's get into it!

Bandee is, i think maybe obviously, my most specialist little guy ever and everything i make is likely about him in one way or another. so you're correct that he is indeed the main guy in both these AUs; he is the central protagonist which i think he deserves!!

(but he does also go through the angst blender a bit, just like... a warning. i adore happy endings but before that i do tend to meat-grind my faves pretty well in the drama machine.)

clockwork heart is actually a spin-off of awtdy (we do a little AU-ception in my household) which is our* primary au. (*a lot of my au work and headcanons are fleshed out very collaboratively with my girlfriend! the initial concept for awtdy was her idea, which i then very meanly shoved my bandee-important agenda into lmao)

awtdy sets this basic alternate world-state: during the Haltmann invasion, Galacta Knight defeats Meta Knight in battle and makes a wish on Star Dream to trade places.

this causes all sorts of terrible fun problems for everybody and basically gives rise to a bad timeline that a lot of folks do not come out of intact (rip floralia)

the Meta Knight vs Galacta Knight comic covers an important turning point in the story, where Meta Knight lets slip that he cares about Bandee the way he cares for Kirby. Meta Knight has an especially strong reaction to this for two reasons:

one is because, as you said, of the three remaining heroes Bandee is the most vulnerable-- seasoned and experienced fighter he may be, but against someone like Galacta Knight? 💦 he's still ultimately just a mortal dude. this obviously puts him at terrible risk, because Galacta Knight also considers him far more expendable than Kirby.

"i'll take good care of him" is transparently a threat and not actually... you know, kind.

secondly is because (unbeknownst to Galacta Knight) Bandee uniquely remembers Meta Knight. he knows that the timeline is screwed up and Galacta Knight is not meant to be there, and is actively working to rescue his real dad mentor. Meta Knight knows that if he's found out, Galacta Knight won't hesitate to kill him.

suffice to say the guilt of this would drive him capital i Insane!

as for the Marx "hurt like hell" comic, I am actually sorry to have to tell you that that scene is their first ever interaction in this au! 😂 in this alternate version of the story Marx is also aware of the timeline fuckery (due to his existence as an eldritch, temporal little creature) and he tracks Bandee down late in the game with a risky trade offer; which Bandee refuses. that's what's pictured in the comic!

it goes on for quite a long ways after that; though I don't know if it'll tickle your ship dynamic quite right because Marx is mildly antagonistic towards Bandee (and everyone) the whole time. so while they are cursed to be Stuck Together By The Narrative they are not really close or even particularly friendly.

they do indeed interact in it quite a lot, and I personally think Marx would gladly shoot his shot if he was offered it; but Bandee is neck-deep in a different ship for the entirety of awtdy and is especially miserable/pining as hell throughout clockwork heart.

but that's okay because Bandee is, uh-- totally fine!! he's normal. he's fine. he's very very fine and things will be very very okay.

[lilgrimmapple]

Commission for Gadget1995 A cover for his AU side-story of "Silver and Gold." A fanfic of a fanfic. x3

Fan-ception?

You can read his story HERE.

You can also read the original "Silver and Gold" HERE.

I hope you like it!

~***~

"Silver and Gold" © Lilgrimmapple/ Bookwriter94 

"The Carter Mckenley Chronicles" © Gadget1995

"The Great Mouse Detective" © Disney

Art © Lilgrimmapple

[triptychgrip]

A non-exhaustive list of things Yuuri and Viktor would write fanfiction about

Viktor would write a “fix-it” fic* to make up for his “Oops! Watch the nosebleed!” failure to catch Yuuri at the Chu-Shikoku-Kyushu regionals. He’d do so not only because of his own guilt around prioritizing his designer suit (which he’d throw away in shame), but also b/c Yuuri’s fans would never let him live that moment down, lol. I think Phichit would create a calendar appt set to repeat every September 25th (until the end of time), to remind Viktor of how he heartlessly let Yuuri fall to the floor, complete w/ exaggerated GIFs and memes. Kenjirou would probably join in

Because he is just as extra as his fiance (and feels bad for not remembering it), Yuuri would get Christophe/Yurio/Mila’s help to write a fic in which he DID remember the Sochi banquet. In this iteration, not only does he thrash Yurio in a dance-off and sweep Viktor off of his feet, but he — very shyly and very awkwardly — knocks on Viktor’s hotel room door the next morning, carrying an assortment of Japanese hangover remedies

After about a month goes by with no word from Yuuri post-Sochi, Viktor would take any breaks he can afford when not training for Europeans or Worlds to write the most extremely fanciful fanfic as an outlet for his pining/heartbreak, because…well, duh. Each of these stories would include extremely plausible reasons for why Yuuri just couldn’t contact him (none of which, obviously, involve the fact that he was trashed beyond belief). His favorite one includes the fact that Yuuri is actually a highly trained assassin working for the Japanese govt, who decides not to get in contact with Viktor because he doesn’t want his enemies to put a target on Viktor’s back. Oh, the gallantry!

As Viktor approaches his 30th birthday, Yuuri would note his increasing reluctance to acknowledge the milestone. Taking Georgi’s predictably dramatic advice, he’d surprise Viktor with a time travel fanfic*, one that is admittedly a bit trite in its “I’ll love you no matter what age you are, Vitya” theme, but that delights Viktor, nonetheless…especially when he notes that Yuuri only has eyes for him, even though his younger, 18 year old self is outrageously flirty with his fiancé. (Georgi, failing to note that this isn’t supposed to be an angst fic, would beg Yuuri to up the ante on the crying)

When Viktor tears his meniscus during the 2011 off-season, Yuuri writes a fic in which they meet by way of Viktor being sent to a famed healing/rehabilitation clinic in Fukuoka. In this fic, Yuuri actually would decide to go home to Hasetsu in the off-season, meaning he would not only get to know Viktor, but also reunite with his sweet poodle 😭

Seeing how anxious Yuuri is during the planning of their wedding, Viktor — in a very sweet but misguided way — decides to write him a crack-y fanfic in which just about everything that can go wrong on the day of, does go wrong. This is sort of meant to be a “see, Yuuri?! Even with all of that terrible stuff happening, the day still turned out perfect, because I got to marry you!” kind of thing, and even though Yuuri nearly has a panic attack while reading it, he ultimately does derive comfort from it (and he also triple checks that Otabek as their DJ does not actually intend to play any risqué music at the reception that will send his elderly relatives into states of catatonic shock, as happens in the fic)

Bonus: After losing some kind of drunken bet, Yurio writes a fic that he then forces Yuuri and Viktor to role-play. In it, all of Viktor’s hair falls off the day after Onsen on Ice. Ashamed to be seen like this by Yuuri, Viktor hightails it back to St. Petersburg and grovels at Yurio’s feet for forgiveness

If you’ve read my “fic-ception” series in which Yuuri and Viktor jointly write (and publish) a sappy/smutty friends-to-lovers and role-reversal story starring their fictional selves, you probably aren’t surprised to hear that this very meta concept has completely taken over my brain.

While writing Put It In Reverse For Thirst, I couldn’t help but ideate around the kinds of things Yuuri and Viktor might explore in the wondrous world of fanfiction, both before they got together, and afterwards.

Above are just a few of the ideas that came to mind…I’ll probably make a part 2! What else do you think they’d write fanfic about? I think the possibilities are endless.

*these are ideas I have in the works for potential stories. My WIPs folder is a disaster

[thestraggletag]

this is @rumbelle-scream! i've been in love with rumbelle since sept. 2023, and i missed getting The Thing when i first started!!!

as a rumbeller 🫡 may i please ask for The Thing? 🥹

One The Thing coming right up!

WELCOME TO RUMBELLE, YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I SEE YOU THERE, SO YOUNG, SO FRESH, SO WOOBIE. LET ME SLOWLY CLASP YOU TO MY BOSOM IN A MOTHERLY WAY.

NOW YOU STUMBLE AROUND, A LITTLE LOST RUMBELLE CHICK NEEDING LOVE AND GUIDANCE, TREMBLING WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND BOTTLED-UP FEELS. NEVER FEAR, FOR WE’LL TAKE YOU IN, SINCE YOU HAVE BECOME

ONE OF US.

WE HAVE TEA, FOR YOUR SHATTERED FEELS. WE KNOW IT HURTS, WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. MOST OF USE JUST DUMP A LOT OF VODKA INTO THAT TEA. IT’D BE EASIER TO JUST DUMP A TEA BAG INTO A BOTTLE OF SMIRNOFF, TO BE HONEST.

HERE, DEARIE, ARE SOME GIFS I BRING FORTH TO YOU SO YOU CAN BLOG ABOUT YOUR FEELS, AND HOW RUMBELLE RUINED YOUR LIFE AND YOU LOVE IT. TAKE THEM, DON’T BE SHY. YOU WILL NEED THEM, YOUNG PADAWAN. THEY WILL BECOME YOUR NEW LANGUAGE. BE WARNED, LITTLE ONE, FOR THEY ARE OF A SPOILERY NATURE THAT MIGHT HURT YOUR WEE EYES. THEY’RE ALSO AWESOME, SO YOU SHOULDN’T STARE AT THEM DIRECTLY.

LIKE AN ECLIPSE.

OR RUMPLE’S LEATHER PANTS.

AND SINCE THIS IS A PRETTY COMPLEX FANDOM I DIRECT YOU TO A WELCOME PAGE SO YOU CAN GATHER YOUR BEARINGS AND EXPLORE MORE OF THIS MAGICAL LAND OF CHIPPED CUPS AND SEXY SCALY MEN. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS THERE YOU’LL FIND ANSWERS. IF NOT YOU CAN ALWAYS SEEK THERUMBELLE TAG, AND POST QUESTIONS THERE. RUMBELLERS ARE ALWAYS THERE TO ANSWER.

ALWAYS. RUMBELLERS DON’T SLEEP.

IF YOU FEEL THE NEED FOR SOME LOVELY VISUAL REPRESENTATIONS OF THE UTTER PERFECTION THAT IS THIS SHIP I DIRECT YOU TO THE RUMBELLE ARTTAG, WHERE MANY TALENTED PEOPLE POST TALENTED THINGS THAT PRODUCE BOTH AWE AND ENVY.

AND LAST, AND THIS IS WHAT I’M KNOWN FOR…

WE.

HAVE.

PORN.

NO, NOT LIKE OTHER FANDOMS. NOT SOME PORN. NOT ANY PORN. WE HAVEALL THE PORN.

ALL OF IT.

EVERY KINK.

EVERY FANTASY.

EVERY POSITION.

FOOD SEX, PEGGING, BONDAGE, S&M (BUT THE REAL TYPE, NO INNER GODDESSES, ALL KINKY FUCKERY), CANE PORN, PRIEST PORN, CANNIBAL PORN, SHADOW!SEX, DADDY!DOM, DOM/SUB, BLOODPLAY, MIRROR-SEX, PREGNANCY KINKS, POWER-SEX, INTERSPECIES SEX, LACTATION PORN, DAGGER!PORN, RAPTOR!PORN, MAGICAL SEX AND MANY MORE.

WE GOT THE SORT OF STORIES WHERE THE DARING SWORD FIGHTS, MAGIC SPELLS AND PRINCES IN DISGUISE ARE EASIER TO BELIEVE IN THAN WHATEVER TANTRIC, MARATHONIC SEX-A-TON RUMPLE AND BELLE ENGAGE IN DAILY IN FIC, WHICH DEFIES THE ENDURANCE OF THE HUMAN BODY AND THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.

I DIRECT YOU NOW TO MY FANFIC REC LIST, WHERE YOU SHALL FIND MANY TREASURES. I ALSO GIVE YOU A REC LIST OF REC LISTS (A LIST-CEPTION, SO TO SPEAK). YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO THE RUMBELLE FICTAG IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED MORE RUMBELLE PORN FICS IN YOUR LIFE. AND YOU WILL. AND IF YOU WANNA HIT THE MOTHERLOAD OF RUMBELLE FANFICTION CHECK OUT THE RUMBELLE LIBRARY, RIPE WITH DECADENT FICS FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

IN THIS FANDOM WE LIKE TO CELEBRATE WITH FIC, COPE WITH FIC AND START MASSIVE FIC WARS SO THERE ARE SEVERAL YEAR-ROUND EVENTS DESTINED TO BRING FORTH MORE RUMBELLE SEXYTIMES  MOMENTS: THE RUMBELLE SECRET SANTA (ORGANIZED THREE YEARS IN A ROW AND TOTALLING AROUND 350 FICS), FLOOFAPALOOZA (FOR WHEN YOU NEED TO GO ‘AWWW’ DESPERATELY), 50 FIRST HAMBURGER DATES (YES, WE GOT IT BAD), THERUMBELLE CHRISTMAS IN JULY (FOR THOSE LONG HIATUS MONTHS), THEMANTIS DAY MENAGERIE(BECAUSE OUR SMUT NEEDS MORE CREATURES IN IT), THE GREAT RUMBELLE BLOWOFF AND THE RUMBELLE SHOWDOWN. IT ALL CULMINATES WITH THE T.E.A. AWARDS, WHERE WE MOSTLY CONGRATULATE THE WRITERS ON ALL THE SEX, FLUFF AND TEARS (GREAT PLACE FOR NEWBIES TO ALSO SEEK FIC RECS!).

MIND THE SPOILERS, DEARIE.

BUT IF YOU’RE ALL CAUGHT UP YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK THIS TUMBLR WHICH WILL HOLD PRECIOUS TREASURES SO YOU CAN SURVIVE THE SUMMER HIATUS WITH MOST OF YOUR SANITY INTACT.

WE AIM FOR REALISTIC GOALS HERE.

IF YOU HAVEN’T YET DELETED YOUR TUMBLR ACCOUNT AND MOVED TO A COUNTRY WITHOUT INTERNET CONNECTION THEN CONGRATULATIONS, YOU INDEED HAVE THE MAKINGS OF A GREAT RUMBELLER. AND YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT HERE.

NOW LET ME HOLD YOU GENTLY, SOFTLY, LOVINGLY.

Welcome to the fandom, dearie

[askhomestuckeveryone]

equius do you have a favorite kind of horsie

CT: I do not wish to e%clude all the wonderful STRONG hoofbeasts

CT: Through Ive heard stories of an e%ceptional stallion of the name Ardennais

(⬅️. ➡️)

[coralinnii]

I have one essay report and a big work project left and I'll be stress-free...for like a week before classes start again. Instead of finishing those last responsibilities, I've been putting Cell Block Tango on repeat because Youtube algorithm decided I needed scary hot women murderers...and it's not wrong.

The product of that procrastination is now an AU of my Villain/ess AU, where the villain/ess!readers still ended up being villains. An AU-ception

I will start on my writing list eventually. This was just a stress relief

One villain/ess!reader doesn't get a verse cuz someone's gotta be Roxie. Also, I don't know Hungarian so I used my native language (which may also suck since I haven't practiced in years).

Seeing that this is a parody of Cell Block Tango, all the warnings for this cover are the same for the original song (violence, infidelity, etc) so read at your own risk.

~ Enjoy ~

Yawn

Seven

Squish

Uh-uh

Monstro

Schoenheit

And now, the six merry villains of the Twisted Wonderland Dungeons

In their rendition of the Story Book Tango

Monstro

Schoenheit

Yawn

Seven

Squish

Uh-uh

Monstro

Schoenheit

Yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit

Yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit

Yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit

He had it comin'

He had it comin'

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same

Yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit

Yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit

You know how people have these little habits that get you down?

Like, Leona

Leona, he liked to sigh when he's sleepy

No, not sigh, yawn

So I walk into our room this one day

And I'm really irritated

And I'm looking for a little bit o' sympathy

And there's Leona, lyin' on the bed, on his lazy ass and sighing

No, not sighing

Yawning

So, I said to him, I said "You yawn near me one more time"

And he did

So I took the rifle from our armory

And I fired two warning shots

Into his head

He had it comin'

He had it comin'

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would have done the same

I met Malleus from Briar Valley about two years ago

And he told me he was single

And we hit it off right away

So, we started meeting together

He'd go to his castle, he'd come back to me

I'd give him a rose, we'd have dinner

And then I found out

"Single" he told me

Single, my ass

Not only was he meant for some girl

Oh no, he was one of 7 suitors

One of those harems, you know?

So that night when he came home from his castle

I gave him a rose, as usual

You know, some guys just can't hold their poison thorns

He had it comin' (yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit)

He had it comin'

He took a flower (yawn, seven, squish, uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit)

In its prime

And then he used it (yawn)

And he abused it (seven)

It was a murder (squish)

But not a crime

(Uh-uh, Monstro, Schoenheit)

So I'm standing in the kitchen

Tasting some cherry tarts for a party (uh-uh)

Minding my own business (Monstro)

In storms my husband Riddle in a furious rage (Schoenheit)

"You been breaking the rules!," he says (yawn)

He was crazy (seven)

And he kept on screamin' (uh-uh)

"You been breaking the rules!"

And then he ran into his scepter 

He ran into his scepter 42 times

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Kenapa aku di sini?

Mereka kata pencintaku menolong aku dan membunuh Tunku Kalim bersama-sama

Bukan! Aku tak bersalah

Kenapa negara Scalding Sands lihat aku seorang pembunuh? 

Aku menjelaskan kepada polis tapi mereka tak faham

Yeah, but did you do it?

Uh-uh, not guilty!

My partner, Azul and I had these businesses

And the tweels, Jade and Floyd traveled round with us (he only had himself to blame)

Now, for the last day in our business trip (if you'd have been there)

We opened twenty businesses in a row

Food, suits, rings, tea, dresses, lounges, night brothels (if you'd have been there)

Show acts, theaters

One right after the other (if you'd have seen it)

So this one night before we leave, we're down at the Monstro Lounge (I betcha)

The four of us, boozin' (you would have done the same)

Havin' a few laughs

And we ran out of ice

So I go out to get some (he had it comin')

I come back, checked the stores

And there's Azul and the tweels (he had it comin')

In business seventeen (he took a flower)

The brothel

Well, I was in such a state of shock

I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing

It wasn't until later

When I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' all along (they had it comin' all along)

I didn't do it (she didn't do it)

But if I'd done it (but if she'd done it)

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' all along (they took a flower in its prime)

I didn't do it (and then they used it)

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

I admired Vil Schoenheit

More than I can possibly say (he had it comin')

He was a real beautiful guy

A masterpiece, a queen

But he was always trying to find his fairest self (he only had himself to blame)

He'd go out every night looking for that self

And on the way

He found Rook (if you'd have been there)

Epel

Neige and the dwarfs (if you'd have seen it)

I guess you could say we broke up

Because of different perspectives (I betcha you would have done the same)

He sees himself as the fairest of them all

And I saw him as was

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' all along (they had it comin' all along)

'Cause if they used us ('cause if they used us)

And they abused us (and they abused us)

How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it comin' (he had it comin')

He had it comin' (he had it comin')

He only had himself to blame (he only had himself to blame)

If you'd have been there (if you'd have been there)

If you'd have seen it (if you'd have seen it)

I betcha you would have done the same

You yawn near me one more time! Single my ass

42 times! Negara Scalding Sands lihatku

Business seventeen, the brothel

Different perspectives

Yawn

Seven

Squish

Uh-uh

Monstro

Schoenheit