#story: i dont wanna live forever
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assorted college age hg and jonah doodles from the past few months!!! they met in university when hg (film major) cast jonah (acting major) in her student film and quickly became disgustingly toxic and codependent.
despite that id never drawn them in college before but i think i needed to get out some feelings about missing film school lol. weirdly appropriate because they lived with me these past four years, I started developing them when i first started my my film degree and put all my complicated feelings about it into them and now its like we are all graduating :,)
in honor of that here are THE VERY FIRST messy concept sketches for Jonah wayyy back in 2019, back when this story was going to be a video game
you may notice hes a little heavier than i draw him now, the game was originally set about 10 yrs after the "action" of their story and I tend to focus on earlier points in the timeline now, though i still see him putting on weight in his late 30s as he does here. His slasher character's costume mask stayed the same from this original concept though!
#YOU CAN ASK ME ABT THEM ALWAYS AND FOREVER BTW#they literally live in my mind constantly they aren't even characters to me those are my bffs#so now im like god i dont even know what to do w their story in terms of medium etc. it just lives in me i guess#also wanna try more shapey stylized art so thats me trying it up in the middle there lol#trinityverse#my ocs#my art#drug use /#girl idk#long post /
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#i wanna go to madeline island so BADDD and take 573947403 pictures. its the only place outside of canada i actually want to travel to#a large chunk of my family is still there. in the cemetery ofc but i'd still like to visit them!#i dont talk abt them much bc its all v private n special to Me but there r so many cool stories n things ive learned and UGH i just.#RLLY want to visit the island#my family was on that island FOREVER like i can trace down direct lineage to the late 1300s and even way back then were living on the islan#but after sooooo many years they moved to southern-ish Ontario (in the late 1800s)#its neat bc apparently some cabins my grandparents lived in are still standing!#idk for how long tho bc the pics ive seen the houses look OLD and are being held together with like. hopes & dreams#frank.txt#i wish i could learn more abt even farther back in time but the 1300s is somewhat far back#idk with sumerian culture/theology/etc being my current hyperfixation the year 1300 feels recent LMAO#i wanna learn abt my grandparents frm uhhhhhh 5000 BC ! please aand thank You! lol#edit: i DONT think there are actually any old family log cabins left standing. chdcked the pictures and theyre frm the early 2000s#so uhhhhhhhhhhh if they ARE still standing thats Neat but i doubt it. unfortunately the buildings dont rlly stand the test of time#those teeny tiny lil log cabins will stand for like 200 years and then a small gust of wind will be the thing that destroys them........
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ive decided that andoras almost always has crazy makeup and wigs on simply bcus its fun for him. and everin doesnt see him without any of it on until after the birthday party debacle and loses it slightly bcus she thought that was his real hair the whole time wdym youre BALD (hes not bald his hair is just short)
#my post#the wondrous oc tag#madineau#the lore is stored in the tags#world so beautiful. i love making shit up about my ocs#did this partly bcus i wanna include more ridiculous hairstyles in this bcus i realized that i can#and this is perfect for andoras bcus he literally doenst do anything all day anyways. so he just gets up spends half the day gettnig ready#and then spends the rest of it hanging around ev and bothering her#theres a bit of bright colors and markings like aposematism. like watch out hes toxic do not approach#like ev gives a shit though#ANDDDD ive managed to incorporate MOON SYMBOLISM. bcus god what is this story if not just the moon a thousand times over for no reason#(the reason is it was like 2 am i was delirious on sharpie fumes and got really emotional about the moon out of nowhere)#so like when hes first introduced his makeup includes a new moon. new beginnings and all that#during the birthday party hes got a 1st quarter moon. for intention. bcus thats when ev and an get a little normal about each other#and an specifically realizes oh hey. i actually liek this person. and i think she likes me too. i dont want this to ever stop.#smilesss he realizes this while theyre dancing. and ev is laughing and relaxed and SMILING for once and an wishes he could watch that smile#forever...#dreamy sigh. ive had that scene living in my head for years now#i think i came up with that after reading knifetrick. bcus i loved the party scene soooooo much <33#where was i. right moon makeup.#so in the very very very end andoras has a full moon#sealing of intention slash continuing the cycle. because its implied hes gonna overthrow the government and kill the current leaders#thats a big jump from where we just were. bear with me here a lot happens in this story#like the birthday party and that tender moment. is interrupted by the rev squad showing up and trying to convince a crowd of people to#murder ev#which more or less works pretty easily btw. they all just go 'ok bet' as if they werent attending HER party.#its fine its whatever its ok. ev doesnt think theres anyone she can truly trust but she does so anyways and just prays they dont turn on he#bcus the only people she has left in the world are her 2 advisors who hate her and her best friend who also maybe hates her
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Sat on the roof, you and I // And at every table I'll save you a seat // Sit with you in the trenches // Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time //
I'm searching the room for an empty seat // I’m sitting here thinking it through // Sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’ll call
cornelia st//lover//peace//youre losing me
x
the story of us // cold as you // I dont wanna live forever
#ahhh such a story#i find it really interesting the canon sort of timeline w all the songs off the albums that this makes and then also the sort of aftermath#of musings that the surprise songs get to dive into#both tell a story#but also add to a larger picture toether#the eras tour#taylor swift#my littel ts lyric parallels#my littel taylor swift rants#surprise songs#cornelia street#lover#peace#youre losing me#the story of us#cold as you#i dont wanna live forever
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Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?
I think none of them had rights
#Thanks for the ask !#like you have to actively like girls to notice them theyre inconsequential#also who is this why are you sewing discorse in my inbox#i spelled discourse wrong. my mom ordered the dog trainers to train ollie right now because he is insane and hes eating soo many treats#not because hes a good boy but because they are tossing that shit at him#they were literally almost there with yasuko#i thought her story was so fucking interesting ...#like its really not a fault of the girls they are all pretty good characters in their own right#like we have a variety of them too. we had miss tatsu who was out there turning guys inside out but she randomly had to go get kidnapped in#order to complete kiryus training arc. like how funny would it be for the whole thing to be staged and miss tatsus like Lol good job kiryu#for passing my test. oh this guy ? yeah he did get the better of me but i kicked the shit out of him then roped him into my schemes. dont#you think practical application is more effective than training ? anyway theres nothing more i can teach you but you can come train whenevr#we didnt even get an in game appearance for yuko but apparently she was a massive troll but too cute to get into any real trouble#mirei was. . . i literally said ‘are you kidding me’ when they revealed what happened to her like seriously ? is this real ? they did#that ? like literally she should have been living it up in cahoots with katsuya and being so sexy and divorced forever. she should have#faked her death because every single parentsl figure haruka had leaves her. and god haruka like honest to god i love that she just ran off#like that i thought it was so kiryu of her to be an absent father. but also my friends have all brought up very good points which is that#haruka should NOT have gone back to morning glory like she should have stayed in ono michi with her loser girlfriend whos a boyfriend with#her new extended family and only go back every now and then to see her siblings honestly i hated that .... like girl spread your wings ..#choose where you want to roost stop going back !! just get out !!!!!! its literally okay to tell the rest of your family ‘i dont wanna wipe#your asses forever i love you guys but im out of here’. and god i .. as much as i loved y0 makoto should have left her shitassed husband#girl had a whole ass baby with him ... find someone better im sorry ..!!! like whatever i know that thst was the ‘best’ option for her and#she deserves financial stability and a rich doctor husband but she also deserves crazy sex with a girl with one eye#i think what yumi did was awesome but like. actually i have no complaints about yumi. wait no i do. kazama was a shitass for marrying her#off to that politician because he couldnt stand having a woman in his house. im now thinking of that unecessarily hot doctor from y0 wtf was#her deal. and god the unnecessarily hot cho-han lady from y5.. oh wait ako had rights. she fell in love with kiryu at first sight then got#over him which is literally the best thing a girl could do for herself. PLUS she throws molotovs and is generally awesome#i cant remember any other girl. oh yeah god reina. .. reina .... god milky though .... i think she was fantastic and i want her badly. and#yayoi fucking disappeared after a certain point in time and ran off to another city with her baby daddy and sugared him to open a bar#well its not canon but im certain thats what happened because she literally went radio silence like girl where are you ....
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not gonna lie it is kinda bugging me not knowing When the sonic frontiers update is going to happen. because i wanna play it as soon as possible. but i dont know when that is
#i remember for both sonic prime episode drops i stayed up until 2am to watch them as soon as they were available#and i have absolutely nothing to do on thursday or friday so im perfectly willing to do that again#idk if im gonna need those full 2 days though im assuming that the dlc is gonna be a lot shorter than the full game#considering. it starts near the end of the original story#but anyways i WILL ruin my sleep schedule for sonic#but i dont wanna stay up that late just for the update to not happen at that time . you know#if its coming out the next morning id rather just go to sleep early and then wake up early for it#and also if its coming out in the like midnight to 2am time range id like to move my switch dock to my room#but. if it comes out later in the day id rather just leave it. because the living room tv is bigger#handheld mode is not an option i said this before but one of my joycons is messed up and nothing im doing is fixing it#so im basically stuck in tv or tabletop mode forever and ever because i dont feel like buying another pair#when the whole reason i have this pair is because my old pair had really bad drift#ive literally never had this much trouble with controllers on any console before. its just the switch that keeps doing this. hello
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While I'm spirou posting: WE NEED TO BRING BACK THE WHIMSICAL. THE WHIMSY. YOU KNOW? FRANQUIN STYLE. TEH ADVENTURE. THE WHACK. and psychadelic mushrooms. Mushroom science was seriously when everything peaked.
#spirou et fantasio#LIKE#dont get me wrong i loved me some angst#BUT THE LATEST ERA OF SPIROU HAS JUST BEEN HURT NO COMFORT EVERYONE DIES AGONY FOREVER.#i don't WANNA ANYMORE#WHERE'S THE BEAUTIFUL SLAPSTICK HUH?#where's the weird mysteries and WHERE'S THE CUTE AND SUPER WEIRD COUNTRYSIDE STORIES? HUUH?#honestly i think we're due to a whole issue of those two gay bitches just living in their house and like.#idk spirou tries to take up gardening but the plant accidentally comes to life#and we also get a glimpse of what their neighbours think of them#and just how overly weird they are#and then some niiice easter eggs and environmental storytelling#by packing the outside and inside of the house with mementos from their adventures#idk it would be neat.#sigh
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from a quick glance it seems like they expected mc to go to RAD until they died
#okay im exaggerating#get ready for the rambling on stuff no one is paying attention too in ob3y me#idk enough about the lore to know if they had a graduation system set up BUT#i do know that mc officially joins the student council later in the story (or at least that theyre trying to join)#and when i think about how long the school has existed and how the brothers are just still going there cause theyre the student council#i cant help but think mc was kinda expected to just keep going to school forever#....they know mc isnt gonna live forever ever right?#like me personally i probably have 60 years left and thats me being EXTREMELY generous#and no way i would still be there willingly once i hit 30#....who tf wants to spend a majority of their lifespan in school#studying and doing homework and worrying about their grades#after the 2nd year id start planning to move out iwjidwjwd#id pull solomon to the side ask if he wants to room with me and we can split the housing costs lmaoo#if he says no id still move out and then id drop out#the only reason i dont ask asmo is cause i geniunely dont think hed want to move out away from his brothers#also im sure he wants to keep going to school#so its either sol or i go solo haha#id just feel weird staying at HOL as the only bitch not going to school lmao#also i dont want lucifers judging eyes on me. ik hed disapprove of the dropping out..not gonna stop me i just dont wanna be judged everyday#sorry this bugs me about the game...i cant let it go#im gonna go with it being a cultural thing#and being able to go to school forever is like peak happy fantasy. to me personally though its actual hell#this would be an interesting writing prompt tho#“how everyone reacts when you say youre dropping out of rad and moving out of HOL”#......the mcs life span is so short in comparison to everyones and i feel like all the characters forget that most of the time#LIKE theyre not being malicious its just ugh....does the mc not have anything else they wanna do in their life???#tho i was thinking about how time works in this game....how do these characters have time for the shenangian of the week and school#and hobbies and part time jobs#it doesnt really add up to me#what if theyre like only in school once a week LMAO
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙one of the girls | DR3 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: daniel ricciardo x northern english!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none just fluff, pretty short too
summary: in which your new boyfriend is adopted into your friendship group as if he was one of the girls
a/n: this is saur funnie to me & lbr it's me & my bffs only wish in life to go for pints with daniel & this request inspired me af
request!!!: hiiiii can i pls req daniel ricciardo x northern english!reader pleaseeeee kiss kiss kiss
my masterlist
fc: various brunette girls from pinterest
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others
yourbff pints
friend1 pints
friend2 pints
danielricciardo pints?
yourusername YES PINTS
user1 PINTS!!!
user2 lol i love u y/n
user3 pints pints pints
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others
yourusername self explanatory really
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user4 funniest wag tbh
user5 i wish i could go on a night out with them omg
user6 same omg my dream
maxverstappen1 i wasnt invited?
yourusername are you one of the girls, max?
maxverstappen1 im a man?
yourusername see there's ur first problem
user7 LOL he absolutely has no idea what she's on about whatsoever
user8 daniel dating a british girl is my fav thing ever
user9 literally especially a northern girl and not jus a rich girl from london 😭😭
user10 fr im obsessed with her she dgaf
user11 she is so jarring
user12 u jus dont get her tbh
danielricciardo woo hoo
yourusername lol i am obsessed with you.
user13 HAHAHA what? she's so me
yourbff BEER CIRCLE BEER CIRCLE
friend2 it's a heart ❤️!
danielricciardo beer heart. where have you been y/bff/n
yourbff sorry i was busy drinking the beer not analysing what shape it was in.
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourbff
liked by yourusername, friend1, and others
yourbff beach day with the girls!!! and daniel
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user21 and daniel omg HAHA
user22 he's actually one of the girls omg i thought it was a joke...
landonorris my invite got lost?
yourusername YOU DONT DESERVE ONE
landonorris oh.
yourbff hahahahaha
danielricciardo sorry lando 🤐
user23 y/n & her one sided beef w lando is all of us
liked by yourbff
user24 oh to be in this friend group
user25 not the weirdest f1 related friend group
yourusername love my girls!!! and my daniel
liked by yourbff, danielricciardo
friend2 hahahah we love him too! thts our girl
friend1 FR!!!!! one of us one of us
danielricciardo omg i've never felt so welcome in my life... #newhome
yourbff honorary brit 🇬🇧
yourusername 🥹🥹🥹
messages ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo posted a story
liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and others
user26 the giiiirls
user27 you & the girls again!
maxverstappen1 miss you babe
danielricciardo 😂 see you in aus soon i hope
landonorris are any of them single 👀
danielricciardo not for you, no
landonorris boo 👎
user28 such a cute lil family
user29 cant tell if im more jealous of daniel, y/n, or her friends
yourusername posted a story
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others
user30 stop it
user31 #1 wag forever and ever
user32 THIS IS TOO CUTE FOR A RANDOM THURSDAY MORNING
maxverstappen1 😍😍😍
liked by yourusername
user33 FREE USSS
user34 jealous
yourbff pints pints pints tonight?
yourusername obviously
twitter ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, and others
danielricciardo my home 🇦🇺 away from home 🇬🇧
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user40 no beers in the photo dump 😮
user41 let me guess ur on photographer duty
liked by danielricciardo
user42 the third pic ahhhh so cute
user43 oh to be ✨ them ✨
friend2 our fav aussie always!!!
danielricciardo im honoured truly
friend1 we never wanna leave
yourbff let's all live here woohoo
danielricciardo true. im down
yourusername YIPPPEEE
user44 ugh me when
landonorris i can make the next trip :)
danielricciardo oh where you going?
yourusername & who with? coz i know it isnt us
landonorris ...worth a try i guess
yourusername I LOVE YOU!!!
danielricciardo i love you my sweet girl
THE END 💙
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#daniel ricciardo#dr3#dr3 smau#dr3 x yn#dr3 fluff#dr3 x reader#dr3 imagine#maddie's smau
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#i just had the worst realization#that kazuma my sweet baby boy who is the most recent character to have given me so much brain damage#has the same basic story outline as kh riku aka the og Bitch#sassy. in love with bestfriend (gay). got separated from said bestfriend for a more or less long period and Got Worse#(but always had a dark side inside of him)#gets saved by best friend and proceeds to try to get better FOR HIM. pining (gay)#i...... kill me simply#me: gets into a character so much they start thinking about designing a tat to get based on them#riku from the part of my brain he's forever chimically altered: I'LL LIVE INSIDE YOUU FOREVERRRRR#like its legit been 12 years LEAVE ME ALONE😭😭😭😭#OH MY GOD. AND THE BESTFRIEND DURING HIS STORYLINE ALSO FULFILLS HIS DESTINY IN HIS STEAD SHUT UPPPP#STOP I WANT TO UNKNOW I DONT WANNA NOTICE MORE THINGS
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hiii so my last post lost traction before i could reach my goal so i'm making a new one & hoping it works out🥹long story short is i have these important doctor appointments lined up in december that are like steps towards getting an actual accessible life (hopefully if it all works out🧿🕯️) but they cost a LOT of money that i dont have bc i'm an audhd native dyke living off commissions & freelance design gigs here & there & 2024 has been TOUGH on me and my family so literally any amount is a huge help!
i am taking commissions (icons, gifsets, headers, themes, etc), i have premium themes you can get here, i have a resource blog that may have useful things for you: @userbru & if you don't wanna commission anything and would just like to help me out, i will love u forever! literally any small amount helps me in ways u dont even know! tysm <3
pp.me / k0-f1
$86/474
pls dont tag this as s1gn4l b00st!
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final installment of fratboy!luke x poseidon reader :)
graduation, luke being h-word lol, im sad this is over.
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
tagged trideltumm.
yn_yln: last bid day 🩵 welcome home new pc 🔱
lukecastell4n: gonna steal that little jeep from ur house
lukecastell4n: come over im tryna get u like the last pic
poseidonsfavchild: RHIS IS A PUBLIC APP
bethchase: have some decency, i beg of u
chrisr0driguez: BRO 💀💀💀
clarisselarue: too far
charliebeck: AYO?
yn_yln: pick me up pls
liked by lukecastell4n.
silenabeauregard: U LOOK SO PRETTY
yn_yln: thank u angel 👼����
trideltumm: i know you’re a senior now but don’t leave 🥲
yn_yln: i dont wanna go ☹️
tagged ksigumm, yn_yln, and chrisr0driguez.
lukecastell4n: went out with a bang ‼️ thanks for the memories kappa sig
ksigumm: our president 🫡
liked by lukecastell4n.
chrisr0driguez: can’t believe it’s almost over 💔
lukecastell4n: me either bro 💔
yn_yln: ur frat cooler is sooo real
lukecastell4n: what can i say 🤷🏻♂️
bethchase: thank god the reign of terror is over
poseidonsfavchild: fr im tired of seeing his posts every weekend
lukecastell4n: hater
poseidonsfavchild: and what about it
charliebeck: gonna miss the kappa sig parties
lukecastell4n: gonna be hard to live without the sigma nu darties
clarisselarue: my liver needs a break!!!!
chrisr0driguez: nobody said u had to finish half a handle every weekend
clarisselarue: U REFUSE TO DRINK THE BITCH CUP FOR ME
chrisr0driguez: NOT MY FAULT U SUCK AT KINGS CUP BABE
tagged lukecastell4n, clarisselarue, and others.
yn_yln: bittersweet goodbyes.
clarisselarue: i love you so much
yn_yln: love u always clar ❤️🔥
silenabeauregard: MY SWEET GIRL 🥹🩷
yn_yln: couldn’t have done it without you lena 🤍
lukecastell4n: im so proud of you baby
yn_yln: right back at you, my love
poseidonsfavchild: why r yall in the comments acting like youre not all going back to chb
yn_yln: percy im going to grad school 😭
poseidonsfavchild: oh
poseidonsfavchild: this is news to me
poseidonsfavchild: i was kinda hoping you’d come back 😕
yn_yln: i’ll visit over the summer
poseidonsfavchild: it’s not the same
yn_yln: stop im gonna cry
bethchase: congrats yn!!
liked by yn_yln.
gr0verunderwood: CONGRATULATIONS!!!
liked by yn_yln.
lukecastell4n posted a story!
where to next yn_yln? i’ll follow you anywhere 🤍
yn_yln replied to this story:
yn_yln: you and me forever
lukecastell4n: wouldn't have it any other way baby
poseidonsfavchild replied to this story:
poseidonsfavchild: ok if u tell anyone this i will VEHEMENTLY deny it
poseidonsfavchild: but if my sister had to end up with someone, i'm glad it's you ig
liked by lukecastell4n.
poseidonsfavchild: just tell her to come visit sometimes yeah?
lukecastell4n: your secret's safe with me perce
lukecastell4n: dw we'll come back. we can't stay away from our siblings too long
poseidonsfavchild: thanks luke
lukecastell4n: anytime lil bro
liked by poseidonsfavchild.
#hehe silly post#frances writes#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan pjo#luke pjo#luke castellan#luke castellan fanfic#fratboy luke castellan#luke castellan x yn#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan x you
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Hi im a samgirl and i dont mind if others feel differently about this but if you are interested in a samgirl perspective, the short story to sam's allegorical queerness is that sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family. He felt that there was something dirty or unclean about himself which is how a lot of marginalized queer children feel growing up. It's not that queerness itself is monstrous but that society and the patriarchal family unit will cast queerness as the monstrous Other, which is why monstrosity is a pretty common queer allegory.
I keep getting asks about queer Sam and I'm not sure exactly why, other than people maybe assume I have a strong opinion about it. The simple truth is that I just don't find what's said about it compelling so it doesn't interest me. I have no issue with other people exploring it and don't have any desire to ruin anyone's fun. It's just that I don't personally see it when I dig deeper than the surface level of "he felt different" and examine why and exactly what Sam actually wanted and why he felt that way. I will get into that here to an extent I guess because I was asked in another piece of mail what my opinions were, but I don't intend it as an "argument" to start a fight or to dismantle anyone else's perception—just an explanation of my personal lack of interest in this particular type of meta.
First, I don't think "Sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family" works for me as a queer meta when the reason Sam felt "fundamentally different" was that—according to his own early framing—he was the normal one trapped in a family of freaks who wanted him to be a freak like them.
Sam says in 1.08 that he felt different from Dean and John, but when we read on to see why, he says it's because he wanted to play soccer instead of being a child soldier.
SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.
For people too young to get "the blonde chick in The Munsters", Dean is referring to Marilyn Munster, who was the one "normal" person in a family of monsters in a 1960s sitcom.
In childhood flashbacks in 4.13, Sam refuses to fight Dirk at first even though he could easily best him using the skills he learned from their father.
YOUNG DEAN That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? YOUNG SAM Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.
In both situations, Sam views his family and what they do as freakish and wants to distinguish himself as the one normal one trapped in a family of monsters who is at threat of becoming like them by pure association and family pressure.
YOUNG SAM Yeah, my, aah -- my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. MR. WYATT Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? YOUNG SAM No one's ever asked me that before. MR. WYATT Well? YOUNG SAM More than anything, no.
In 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, one of Sam's greatest childhood memories is getting to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner in a normal, upper middle class household instead of sitting around with "A bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."
In 1.01, he says he wants to be nothing like his family. He says he is normal unlike them when Dean is telling him they're the same:
DEAN You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are. SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.
Sam sees the upbringing that he has in common with Dean as something almost... humiliating—to the point that he plans to lie to Jess forever about how he was raised and about his family (1.01).
All of this to say... when the queer allegory I'm being sold is that a guy is queer because he wants to go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, go no contact with his brother (because Dean isn't normal like him?), and lie about his family to his friends because the idea of them knowing he didn't grow up normal is embarrassing... I don't feel like I'm reading a queer allegory. I'd be more likely to think that if anything, I'm reading a comedy from the POV of "the token straight" who initially functions (in the Pilot) as the "normal" character to introduce the "normal" audience to an "abnormal" world in a relatable, palatable way.
That said, when we embrace the fact that the Winchesters are a family of freaks, there is an easy counterpoint here which is that Sam's attitude in the beginning of the series represents being closeted and desperately trying to assimilate with normal society and be perceived as just like everybody else... and his freak family is in the way. In this case, Sam knows deep down that he is like his family (i.e. queer) but desperately wishes he wasn't so that he could fit in. Given that I'm a big believer in Sam being a hunter through and through despite his occasional denials, I find this much more compelling than the argument that Sam feeling othered in his family because he sees himself (at least at first) as the one normal one makes him queer.
*One of you shaking me back and forth*
"But PK—WHAT ABOUT THE DEMON BLOOD?!?!"
Yeah yeah yeah. While it doesn't start out that way, eventually, Sam does reflect on his childhood and see himself as Megamind instead of Marilyn Munster. This is retroactive though (in my opinion. I do not actually believe Sam could "sense" his dormant powers) after finding out that Azazel dropped blood into his mouth when he was a baby. Instead of feeling like the normal one in a family of freaks, Sam starts to feel like the biggest freak in the family, and Dean's "I'm a freak too" suddenly feels like platitudes. Dean—whose calls Sam didn't pick up for years—starts to seem like the normal one—the good one—between them. Dean is the hero character, the righteous man, the sword of heaven... and Sam thinks in his worst moments that he is someone Hero!Dean should be duty bound to kill (2.11). These are all feelings that (again—in my opinion) develop later. I talk about Sam's feelings of otherness and why he actually had those feelings and how I think the demon blood erroneously comes into play as an explanation for his insecurities here.
I think it probably also makes sense to mention here that the idea that Sam was treated as a monster by his family is very very overstated by portions of fandom. I'm not saying Sam never had reason to feel different or othered or unloved or neglected—he absolutely did (as did Dean). I am saying that people like to write about things that never actually happened when they talk about how Sam was treated growing up. Sam felt different from his family because John let Dean start hunting when he was younger than Sam, then he felt different because he wanted to play soccer and go to school while John wanted him to hunt, and because he thought Dean enjoyed being a parentified child and being raised like a soldier and Sam didn't. Retroactively, Sam feels different when he finds out he has powers. These do not develop until he is an adult, and it is never indicated to us that John knew about any of this when Sam was growing up—much less treated him differently growing up because of it. Retroactively, Sam believes Dean sees him as a freak for having visions even though Dean repeatedly treats his visions as no big deal and psychics are an accepted and trusted group within the hunter community (see: Missouri, Pam, Fred). Retroactively, Sam feels different because he was fed blood as a baby. He did not know this until he was an adult, and neither did Dean, as far as we know, neither did John. Sam never believes that Dean would act on John's last whispered command (that again—does not transpire until Sam is an adult) to the point that he repeatedly tries to guilt Dean into promises to follow through and carry out John's will. Retroactively, Sam feels like a freak in season 4 because Sam chooses to drink a completely different demon's blood of his own free will and develop a completely new power set and Dean doesn't think it's a good thing.
TL;DR Sam did not grow up being treated as the monstrous other by his dad and brother. He grew up as an understandably rebellious kid whose dad was a neglectful asshole and a drill sergeant, and he hated being dragged from place to place with no say. He felt different because he stood in contrast to a brother who tried his best to keep the peace because experience taught Dean that refusing to obey would get people killed (1.18), John would send Dean away if Dean gave him lip (14.12), and Dean felt he had to be there to take care of Sam and John (1.06).
More or less, these are the reasons I don't find the queer Sam metas I have stumbled across particularly compelling (along with—imo—Jared's lack of romantic chemistry with other men). At the same time, people seeing Sam as queer or not queer doesn't bother me. I am not trying to "take away" that interpretation from anyone else (as if I even could). I'm just not interested.
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pick a card tarot reading;
how your future spouse will pursue you and their love language.
requested by @rosearex
ko-fi for tips
group 1
acts of service and gift giving
they idealize and fantasize you so much, you are so perfect, their everything, sunlight, they don't know how to act well around you. they're probably a little awkward and have so much self doubt when it comes to you, they might be usually super confident but they dont think they are grand enough to have you so they will make themselves useful to you. they'd share your worries and take the weight off your shoulders, they'd be all over you like a guardian angel trying to fulfill each and every of your needs. they may pursue you as a friend first and you'll fall in love with how dedicated and thoughtful they are. they might be overly practical and not know how to deal with romance, so be patient with them! I guess it depends on each culture, but your person would try too hard not to be weird, they'd try hard to look cool, confident or badass, even if it doesn't fit you or isn't your type, they're just really awkward and you'd think they're cute, it will make you wanna calm them down and show them gentle love.
group 2
words of affirmation and quality time
this person is overly dramatic and they won't take no as a definitive answer, they are crazy for you and unconventional. they think you are soulmates and a power couple. they would act super childish around you, doing anything to impress you and make you laugh, they're the type of unusual grand gestures, no one could ever replicate their love for you and they'd make you feel so sure of that. they wouldn't have to think hard, they're so full of passion and love for you that expressing it comes very easily, they're incredibly romantic and you'd feel like you live in your own little bubble everytime. they have difficulty thinking straight when it comes to you, I think they're usually calm and collected and people wouldn't expect this much expression from them, but, with you, they wanna defy time and space and be with you beyond lifetimes, they live you with their soul, they are addicted to you. they would continuously tell you that you are made for each other and they would wait millenniums to find you, matter of fact, by the way this feels, that's probably what happened. they would just make you feel so incredibly loved and desired, they are obsessed and you two together would be like inner child playtime. very action oriented, fire and sun energy.
group 3
physical touch and quality time
they would make you feel safe physically and mentally, so much so that they would take you out to explore yourself, the world and all it has to offer. this person would try to show and give you things, feelings, places you've never experienced before, they wanna give you multiple out of world experiences, this is likely a sex or drug thing, but it doesn't have to be, they might just be weird or not like anyone you've ever met before. they wanna make your shared world be like garden of eden before the disaster, where you have the freedom and capacity to do anything y'all wanna do. they are very focused on your feelings and mind, that's what they wanna love the most, they would love if you are a weird outcast and they wanna continue that forever, like bonnie and clyde, they probably fantasize about running away together. the hipster pile.
(look up the owl and the wolf story)
group 4
gift giving and quality time
this person is probably more traditional, with family heritage around these things, they would just try to be the perfect partner, providing or nurturing. I think a big ring would be involved, family dinner, they would try to impress you with things that they own, their upbringing and knowledge, prove their worth by showing class and power, the gatsby to your daisy, eric to your ariel, very romantic and high maintenance. your lives are probably very busy and full of expectations, they'd make you feel like none of those things matter when you're together and your shared life would be simple, easy and calm. you may have other options at the time, they would win you by acting like you're already married long time ago. I'm really getting old money vibes.
#free tarot#tarot#pick a card#pac#pick a pile#reading#intuitive#psychic#tarotcommunity#future spouse#pick a picture#true love#the one#forever person#Spotify
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(ID: a reply from @tmjpain119: "what taylor swift album would best prepare us for this chapter" end ID)
first half is very much reputation vibes - it's dark, there's dancing, everyone's feeling things they shouldn't for people they shouldn't. every word and move and touch feels illicit and electrically charged. it's dangerous and sultry and is-this-really-happening but it is also, underneath all that, just love. think dress ("our secret moments in a crowded room" and "all of this silence and patience / pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you" and "say my name and everything just stops / i don't want you like a best friend"), so it goes ("we breakdown a little / but when you get me alone it's so simple" and "you did a number on me but honestly baby who's counting"), dancing with our hands tied ("i loved you in secret / first sight yeah we love without reason" and "and you held me close / oh how was i to know" and "you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis" and "cause its gravity / keeping you with me" and "if I could dance with you again / id kiss you as the lights went out / swaying as the room burned down / id hold you as the water rushes in")
second half is more lover vibes. they're stepping into the cruel light of day and actually, it's fine. it's sunny and warm and finally, finally, fine. it's bright and wide open and easier to breathe. think i think he knows ("his footprints on the sidewalk / lead to where i can't stop / go there every night" and "when we get all alone / i'll make myself at home /and he'll want me to stay" and "we could follow the sparks") and cornelia street ("we were a fresh page on the desk / filling in the blanks as we'd go" and "this city screams your name" and "jacket round my shoulders is yours" and "i thought you were leading me on" and "sacred new beginnings that became my religion") and daylight ("ill tell you the truth but never goodbye" and "threw out our cloaks and our daggers because its morning now, its brighter now" and "I can still see it all in my mind / all of me all of you intertwined")
i don't want to alarm anyone. but i have just written the return of chapter 1 fuck-me zuko. and it is not even the horniest thing in the chapter
#this is probably way more info than you wanted but i love to talk#none of those songs are on the playlist though. which is very funny to me#i think theyre in the taylors version playlist but not the main one#taylor tracks for ch10 on the main playlist are the story of us / i dont wanna live forever / sparks fly btw#mine
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hey! i saw your laios dating hc, and was wondering, can you do a marcille on or a falin one? marcille pref but idc what one:)
a/n: marcille my dear italian.....
now, she is a sweet girl. she's quite nice, and does her best to keep you safe, but she's a little fussy. growing up, she was supposed to be very professional at all times and that never really left her.
if you want her to really enjoy being near you, help her wash or style her hair (or both!). her hair is very, very important to her, and if you offer to help her take care of it she'll be absolutely elated (and may even help you take care of yours, as well!)
it's likely she may have some health issues due to being half-elf, and not full elf, so i personally think she may have chronic pain or something similar. it's also likely that she may be more susceptible to disease (especially those that mainly affect tall-men) than other elves, meaning she may have to worry about that as well.
now, depending on what part of the story we're talking about, she may (or may not) be a picky eater. in the later parts, she's gotten pretty used to scrounging up something good to eat with the rest of the party, so she's much more okay with it. HOWEVER, she will NOT eat "weird food" (listen i dont know either, maybe octopus or something, but it seems to change each time you ask her. maybe she just doesnt wanna eat bad cooking?)
if you have a less than fortunate lifespan (similar to that of tall-men) then she will be very overprotective of you. she doesn't want you to die before she does, but knows she can't make you live forever. this is the best she can do.
she'd be happy to teach you how to use magic, but she'd be a bit pretentious at times. not really her fault though, since that's how she grew up thinking about her abilities- she WILL do her best to teach you though.
she's VERY attached to those she loves, often to the point of seeing harmless things as a betrayal. however, this means she's loyal to a fault- and often pushes her fears aside to protect her friends and family.
overall 8/10 girlfriend points docked because she'd DEFINITELY point at food you cook her and be like "wtf is this."
thank you for reading :]
#marcille donato#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon marcille#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille x reader
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