#stormy rae

[transprinces]

I’m dressed down ready 🥹😍who’s taking me out today ♥️😍🥵

[lexibunnibigass]

I got a secret do you want to see?❤🥰

Reblog and dm to see😘

Telegram: @Lexibunni001

[rae-arachne]

i don't want a sex dungeon i want a whole castle with entire wings dedicated to different kinks and activities. a ballroom where people can dress in their finest and dance to classical music before the exhibitionists are brought out and put on display for the guest's amusement. floors and floors of basements with harder and harder kinks so you can literally descend into your darkest desires. libraries and classrooms and thronerooms and chapels for you to fully immerse yourself in roleplay. rope rooms with hooks built into the ceiling and walls for any number of suspension activities. rooms lined with pillows and bedding for orgies and different room for cuddling. And of course, a lovely mess hall where people can get snacks.

is that too much to ask?

[the-bloodrose-gemstone]

I love him so much. He's such a good boy.

[jennersisterrr]

Billioner 💸

[triptychgrip]

"Arguments" Viktor and Yuuri have had over the years (Part 1)

1) Which of them is the better singer 

Yuuri insists that it’s Viktor, while Viktor insists the opposite. In reality, it’s definitely Yuuri. 

Their friends witness the (ridiculous) extent of Yuuri’s lack of objectivity during their joint bachelor party, which they host in Tokyo. While at a famous karaoke bar, Yuuri acquiesces to Phichit’s begging for him to perform something and is grateful that his fiance is willing to join him on stage for a slightly drunken rendition of Favourite Colour, by Carly Rae Jepsen. 

Neither Viktor nor Yuuri are bothered by how repetitive the lyrics are, because they’re too busy getting lost in each others’ eyes (which is fitting, considering the line “Eyes that show kaleidoscopes”).

Afterwards, Viktor stumbles off to get them more champagne, and Mila and Sara give Yuuri a few appreciative thumps on the back when he sits back down.

“You sounded great, Yuuri! And what a beautiful song!” Georgi exclaims, looking predictably teary-eyed. (Yurio’s eye roll is nearly audible when he begins to sniffle into a handkerchief.)

Yuuri gives Georgi a shy smile and ducks his head.

“Ahh, thanks Gosha. It’s all thanks to Vitya. His command of melody is so fluid and distinct,” he replies, knowing full well how dreamy he sounds. But you know what? Sue him: this is his bachelor party, he’s allowed to come off a bit lovesick. 

Due to his staring off into the distance while fondly recalling the performance they’d put on not even two minutes prior, he fails to notice the bewildered looks his friends exchange.

“Uhhh…Yuuri? You’re joking right?” Leo de la Iglesia pipes up, though his tone is more diplomatic than it could be. “You’re definitely the better singer. Please tell me you know that.”

Yuuri blinks a bit owlishly and then swivels his head around to see that Otabek, Seung-Gil, Yuuko and his sister are all staring at him with matching expression of exasperation. Otabek rarely looks so invested in anything. 

It’s unnerving.

“Vik-chan sounds like an unhinged cockatoo when he hums, let alone sings,” Takeshi deadpans before beginning to chug sake like its water. 

Yuuri bristles, feeling his hackles raise as they used to do on internet figure skating forums circa the early 2010’s.

“And since when did you become an avian expert?” he huffs, making Yurio give a reluctant snort-laugh. “Vitya has a beautiful voice! He’s definitely the better singer!”

The sizable quantity of alcohol he’s imbibed has made him lose all sense of time and relativity, because though Christophe later informs him that he’s been ranting about this for five minutes, it feels like only five seconds later that Viktor is making his way back over to their table. He’s scarcely set down the two bottles of champagne he’s bought before Phichit is gripping onto the collar of his dress shirt with something akin to desperation. 

“Viktor, put us out of our misery, I beg you!” his best friend exclaims, apparently so distressed that he hasn’t bothered to check his phone in a whole three minutes. “Please make your fiance see reason: he won’t stop going on and on about how you’re the better singer!”

Immediately, Viktor’s eyes darken, a stormy glint brewing in them that is actually somewhat intimidating. 

But when he opens his mouth, his voice is distinctly whiny.

“Yushaaaa, we’ve been over this!!” Viktor cries out in an, admittedly, grating tone.

But before Yuuri can offer his rebuttal, that same phrase – Yushaaaa, we’ve been over this!! –  cuts through the air again.

And again. 

And again.

Yurio is holding his phone up high, the volume on full blast so that the recording he’s captured of Viktor’s pouting plays over and over. It is, indisputably, a maddening assault on the ears. 

His grimace pretty much speaks for all of them.

“Really, Katsudon? This squawking, strident clamor is the voice you’re so enamored with?”

Yuuri decides to concede his point, but makes sure to do so as childishly as possible. 

2) Whether or not they should stage an angsty roleplay set shortly after the Sochi Banquet 

This is an idea Viktor claims is “absolutely necessary” in order for him to properly fulfill his choreographing duties, and while it’s one of their more crack-ish/extra arguments, give this a read and then tell me that you don’t see something like this actually happening. 

It comes up during the off-season, after a fellow Yubileyny rinkmate commissions Viktor to choreograph a wrenching program meant to capture the pain of unrequited love. But Viktor finds himself struggling to deliver on her ask. After all, he and Yuuri are smitten newlyweds, and, according to Yurio, “more nauseating than ever". As such, their Sochi banquet miscommunication feels light-years away, given the trust they’ve built in their relationship since then. 

It’s at Mila’s (joking) suggestion that Viktor’s wheels begin turning: what if they stage an angsty roleplay, meant to conjure the same sense of angst Viktor experienced during that period of pining after the Sochi banquet? But instead of Yuuri not remembering their magical night of dancing, suppose they dial up the heartbreak one step further so that Viktor can then channel that anguish into the perfect choreography commission piece? 

Specifically, what if Yuuri – now back home in Detroit, and gearing up for Japanese Nationals – explains in a pinched tone over the phone that he’s changed his mind about asking Viktor to become his coach?

The reason? 

Well, obviously, it's because Yuuri has fallen head over heels in love with Christophe: something he didn’t fully realize until he began having lurid dreams, starring the two of them tag-teaming on the pole. The way their limbs deftly entwined and untangled in a seamless rhythm…what other explanation was there for it, other than the fact that he and Christophe are true ‘polemates’?? (Remember my earlier caveat that this was crack-ish?)

Unsurprisingly, Yuuri is extremely unimpressed with this idea. 

Even more so when he sees the “script” Viktor has written for them to play off of.

“Vitya, there’s no way I’d be able to even say these words without laughing,” he complains, poring over the 16-page sheaf of papers his husband had thrust into his face as soon as he'd walked into their office room.

“‘The overhead lights of the banquet hall reflected off of Christophe’s abs, and suddenly, every worry that had ever plagued me fell away’,” he reads, in a stilted tone. “‘Vicchan, who? All that mattered in that moment was the way Christophe nimbly transitioned from a Bird of Paradise to a Reiko pose, thereby irrevocably capturing my heart in the process’.”

Yurio, Georgi, and Mila are roaring with laughter in the background as he speaks, because, for some confounding reason, Viktor felt that their presence was required for his script reveal. To everyone’s amazement – especially considering the absolute ridiculousness of the script – Viktor breaks down sobbing during their first practice round and Yuuri has to put a stop to the charade, very wisely noting that this roleplay would be doing neither of them a favor in terms of their mental health. (Afterwards, they have a tearful heart-to-heart where Yuuri invokes a repeat of his Chihoko incident promise: “I could search the whole world but no one is better than you, Viten’ka, even if your pole-dancing skills are extremely lacking!” This is music to Viktor’s ears.)

3) Whether or not Viktor should take on additional students, apart from Yuuri

Oh, you sweet, summer child: you thought this post would be all fun and games, didn’t you? Perhaps the quote marks around the word 'arguments' lulled you into a false sense of security.

WELL, SORRY TO BREAK YOUR HEART

If you’ve read my post-canon fanfiction, you might be familiar with my headcanon that Viktor would eventually take on Yurio as a student, sometime after he retires (and once Yakov retires, which he really needs to do, that poor man). In some ways, I think the two of them as a coach-student pair would be catastrophic, and in other ways, I think it would be extremely successful. (This is assuming Yurio sheds some of his age-typical angst and matures a bit to the point where he doesn’t openly scoff at everything Viktor says.)

One thing I wonder about is how Yuuri might react to this initial proposal. I think there’s a lot here to potentially examine. 

For one, if Yakov is the one to suggest the idea, I think it would mean a lot to Viktor, especially considering how unsupportive Yakov initially was when he flew off to Hasetsu. 

For his former coach to be the one to suggest that Viktor take Yurio on as a student…I honestly think it would heal any latent rift that still existed between them, because it would be an acknowledgment that Yakov sees Viktor as a truly capable coach, and someone who isn’t only governed by romantic whims. (Though by this point, a few years post-canon, I imagine that anyone could see that Viktor truly can grow and be the kind of coach a top-tier athlete needs to succeed. This is more than evident from Yuuri’s PyeongChang Olympic gold medal, a World Champion title or two, a Grand Prix Final victory or two, etc.).

And while Viktor would never dream of making an actual decision on the matter without first having a few robust discussions with Yuuri – because his husband will always be his first priority – maybe Yuuri’s anxiety causes him to jump to conclusions.

Maybe he hears the excitement in Viktor’s voice – excitement that only extends to Viktor’s feeling of pride that Yakov thinks him capable of coaching Yura, not any sort of actual anticipation around accepting the offer – and he thinks that Viktor has already made up his mind to say yes. And from there, it’s a short leap for Yuuri’s mind to do what comes so naturally: to compare himself to Yura, and find all the ways in which he might be lacking as a student. Never mind the fact that he’s the reigning Olympic champion, that he’s won one or more World titles, that he’s continued to expand his jump repertoire so that now many people say that his quads are better than Viktor’s ever were…his anxiety doesn't care about any of that.

Yura and Viktor have a history that began long before him, and if Viktor starts coaching him, then won’t it only be a matter of time before Yuuri is left behind? (No, Yuuri, you infuriatingly lovely fool, THAT’S JUST YOUR ANXIETY TALKING!)

Ahhh, the angst potential is so ripe! One of these days, maybe I’ll get around to writing a fic about this.

For now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons, and look out for a part 2! In the meantime, feel free to let me know of your own ideas around their arguments (lighthearted or otherwise). 

[ultrakdramamama]

Choi Min-ho, Son Na-eun and romantic chemistry… Confirmed to appear in ‘Family X Melo’

Minho Choi (SHINee Minho) will be returning to the small screen with a romance drama.

Minho Choi will be appearing in JTBC's new Saturday-Sunday drama 'Family X Melo', which will be aired for the first time on August 10th. He will be playing the role of Nam Tae-pyeong, who lives his life according to his own convictions

. Nam Tae-hyung (played by Minho Choi) is a character with a my-way personality who hides his identity as the son of the president of the large corporation J Plus Mart and works two jobs as a mart security guard and a Taekwondo instructor. He will show off his various charms with his warm visuals that catch the eye as well as his easygoing and cheerful side. He will

also create a strange atmosphere when Byun Mi-rae (played by Naeun Son) finds out about his complicated family history. The two will share each other's worries and create a 'stormy romance' that goes back and forth between growth and excitement.

Moreover, Choi Min-ho challenged the suspense genre for the first time with his previous film 'New Normal', and was invited to many famous overseas film festivals including the 66th BFI London Film Festival, the 38th Warsaw Film Festival, and the 36th Leeds International Film Festival, receiving attention from all over the world for his unique side. Expectations are high for the new look he will show in this work.

'Family X Melo' is a bloody family melodrama about a father who abandoned his wife 11 years ago returning as the owner of the building. It will air on August 10th at 10:30 PM.

Choi Hee-jae (jupiter@edaily.co.kr)

[transprinces]

Can we get freaky in the wood 💧🥰 ?

[tellnotalespod]

Cosy up this stormy Monday with S2 E2, Keeps Me Sane, now haunting a podcatcher near you.

No, really, that podcatcher’s haunted. Be polite and invite this week’s ghost and their housemate to listen in. Voiced by the delightful duo, Rae Lundberg & Lauren Kong

[capricorndevil15]

Our Wonderland Themesongs Masterpost or Whatever

Out of excitement for the Our Wonderland finale (which is coming out next month!), I've written an incredibly long post sharing one song I associate with each of the main 4 characters (and also Cecil is there), as well as songs for my favorite ships. Come imagine AMVs with me, under the cut!~

To start off, a song that I associate broadly with the plot of OW is Leopard by Jack Stauber. For most of the other songs, I'll pick out certain lyrics to highlight/site my sources lol, but with this one I'd prefer not to because all of the lyrics are The Lyrics. Every time we change, it's a game, okay? Cool.

Characters

🥩Iggy: Devil Town- Bright Eyes (x)

All my friends were vampires Didn't know they were vampires Turns out I was a vampire myself

🚬Genzou: Getchoo- Weezer (x)

I can't believe What you've done to me What I did to them You've done to me

🍷Orlam: I made an entire Orlam playlist, but don't worry. I always have more. Today I'm assigning him,

Shake The Disease- Depeche Mode (x)

You know how hard it is for me to shake the disease That takes hold of my tongue in situations like these Understand me

✂️Gidget: Touch Up- Mother Mother (x)

I forget that I can remember when I was young climbing up fences Scraping my knees, dirt on my cheeks Not one makeover queen bone in me

🔪Cecil: Genie In A Bottle- Billy Cobb (x)

I have no tangible explanation for this one. You'll either get it or you won't and that's okay. 👍🏻

No songs for Bucks or Hunar yet because I need to know more about them first. I've heard the finale is pretty Bucks-centric, so I can't wait 2 play!

My fave ships

💙💚 Iggy/Genzou: Run-Around- Blues Traveler (x)

But I want more than a touch, I want you to reach me And show me all the things no one else can see So what you feel becomes mine as well And soon if we're lucky we'd be unable to tell What's yours and mine, the fishing's fine And it doesn't have to rhyme, so don't you feed me a line!

💙🧡 Iggy/Orlam: Funky- Royal Treatment Plant (x)

I should be over this No time for playing games with little wicked boys

💙💔💜 Iggy/Gidget: COWARD 2 COWARD- Ada Rook (x)

I will become whatever you think of me I will be nothingness or disgusting dreams Idol or target, anything in between Falling forever, witnessed by nobody

🧡🖤 Orlam/Cecil: Somethin' Stupid- Lola Marsh (x)

I know I stand in line until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me And if we go some place to dance, I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

🧡💜 Orlam/Gidget: Pure Morning- Placebo (x)

A friend in need's a friend indeed A friend who'll tease is better Our thoughts compressed, which makes us blessed And makes for stormy weather

💜🖤 Gidget/Cecil: Guy.exe- Superfruit (x)

In lieu of cherry-picking specific lyrics I just want 2 say that the AMV in my mind is exquisite. In pursuit of the Guy (with help from Cecil), Gidget becomes the Guy. Do u understand.

💜🖤🧡 Gidget/Cecil/Orlam: Sideways- Carly Rae Jepsen (x)

Everything's goin' my way And I like to get my way Even when things go sideways Rainin' on my parade I get all my confidence from you

Lovecats- The Cure (x)

We should have each other to tea, We should have each other with cream Then curl up in the fire and sleep for a while It's the grooviest thing, it's the perfect dream

(They get two songs because...I said so. ❤️)

💔⚰️ Orlam/Genzou: Suedehead- Morrissey (x)

You had to sneak into my room Just to read my diary It was just to see, just to see All the things you knew I'd written about you

And that's the end! If u want to share your favorite ships or songs you associate with anybody, I'd love to hear them too!

[courtsieee]

10.27.24

2024 Celebrity Halloween Costume Wishlist.. or predictions idk!

If you know you know, I take Halloween very seriously. I love brisk weather, the decorations, seeing the kids trick or treat, but most importantly the costumes. Whether you assemble a simple, yet curated outfit based on certain characters and occupations or referencing iconic memes and pop culture moments like my 2020 Yung Miami costume I am always floored by everyone’s creativity!

However, when it comes to the celebrities and influencers I dont expect anything to be half done. I always appreciate celebrities who go above and beyond like hiring a production team to fully commit to the holiday. If you’ve been following me long enough I have posted a list of costumes certain celebrities should be. Maybe posting it again will conjure some type of wish spell and they will fulfill my dream.

————

Visual Aid

1. Saweetie as Ms.B Haven

2. Keke Palmer as Kelis

3. Kim Kardashian as Angelyne (LA’s Billboard Queen)

4. Hailey and Justin Bieber as Holly & Paul (Breakfast At Tiffany’s) or Mr and Mrs Smith

5. Doja as Ludacris (with the big arm lol)

6. Halle Bailey as Eartha Kitt or Lil Kim

7. Hailey Bieber as Claudia Schiffer, Daphne (Scooby Doo), or Gwen Stefani

8. North West as Harajuku Nicki Minaj

9. Kylie, Kendall, Lori, Stass as ‘90s Super Models (Versace or Chanel Ad)

10. Jodie Woods as Suki (Fast & Furious)

11. Kylie Jenner as Poison Ivy

12. Latto & Mariah The Scientist as Ronnie & Diamond (Players Club)

13. Lori Harvey as Halle Berry (+2 BAPS Blonde!!)

14. Coco Jones as Ciara (Goodies) or Moesha (+2 Records a Skit)

15. Kylie & Stormi, Kim & Chicago, or Khloe & True as Violet and Scarlett (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

16. Chloe Bailey as Bratz Doll

17. Tanner Adell as Dolly Parton (DollyWood, Dave LaChapelle photo)

18. Addison Rae as Lola (Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen)

18. Quen Blackwell as Janet Jackson

19. Nicki Minaj as a Real Housewife cast member

20. Tyla as Paris (Love Don’t Cost A Thing)

[chiimeramanticore]

sorry youre having to work on christmas eve :(

what is your favourite rock-afire christmas song/cover? :)

ooh. i was gonna be like "easy answer, the christmas medley from homely for the holidays" or whatever that showtape is called lol bc dook singing silver bells is one of the things that got me into the rae to begin with lol BUT this year I've rly been into that secret show cei made in 1986 during their beef w showbiz. i love the improv ofc and I love the jokes but I find myself getting a bit emotional at the end when they sing "we stuck it out through stormy weather/we will always stay together" given the context of the show and 🥺...hh.hgg... animatronic,s,,..

[the-bloodrose-gemstone]

My son dragged me out of bed.

[jennersisterrr]

Just say "WoW"

[iguessitsjustme]

For the music game, can I ask you 6, 15, 24, and 26? -☆

It has been...A Day. So talking about music is something I am very excited to do right now wooooooo (i'm only feeling a little bit insane I promise). Once again I am going to try to only list songs I haven't talked about before.

6. A song that makes you want to dance

Thunderous - Stray Kids

I could have chosen so many of their songs but this one specifically makes me want to dance. Full disclosure is that I will dance to any and every song. I will not dance well. But if you see a person walking down the streets of Chicago dancing to whatever music they're listening to...it's me. And it's likely Thunderous I'm listening to.

15. A song that is a cover by another artist

Bittersweet Symphony - Ace Enders & A Million Different People

I do not know why this is the song that popped into my head for this but it is. I have not listened to this in years. But there was a time when I genuinely loved it. I loved all of the different vocal styles and how each person interpreted each part. (Yes I have been this way about music since forever)

24. A song by a band you wish were still together

Growing Old - Parade the Day

Apparently I'm just feeling very nostalgic today. This band opened for another band that my friends and I went to see and I immediately fell in love. Bought their album. Bought their poster. Then they broke up. It was a sad time but I still love the songs and I think I still have the physical CD. No one else I know has ever heard of them except my friends that were there with me that day. They were an extremely small local band but I have loved them for a long time.

26. A song that makes you want to fall in love

Lullaby for a Stormy Night - Vienna Teng

I was so excited to see you mention Vienna Teng earlier in one of your asks lol. This seems like a weird one to want to make me fall in love but I struggled with this because...I like romance and love songs but for other people. Not really a big fan of them for myself. But sometimes I like to listen to this song and imagine myself in another universe with a partner and a child and I sing this song to my child when it's storming. But that is definitely Rae in another universe. Rae in this universe may or may not fall in love but there will be no children. I digress. Vienna Teng has such a gorgeous voice and I have not heard a song of hers that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed.

Music Asks

[spammreviews]

_____________

I would like to say that this is not a ranking of the characters based on morals. This is based on how good I think they are as characters. This is obviously extraordinarily subjective, however, I enjoy ranking and sorting. 

There are three factors I generally considered for this ranking. 

The first is how well written I think the characters are. Do they have dimensions, do they serve their purpose within the story, do they stand out from the very large crowd of faces within this story, et cetera. This one is less important if they are a very minor character. 

The second is how fun I think they are. The point of some of these characters is to get a chuckle, and if they did that, then they succeed as characters.

The third is vibes. Sometimes, I just vibe with characters.

Art Credits to 

The_Mico

https://m.facebook.com/198918470118215/photos/a.232323176777744/465124813497578/?type=3

Amok https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Visenya.jpg

Riot Art Therite

https://riotarttherite.tumblr.com/

The Three Hares

Rae Lavergne

Weak Aside

https://www.tumblr.com/weakaside

Paolo Puggioni

Image of Nettles by Rlyeha https://www.deviantart.com/rlyeha/art/Nettles-885635180

Special Thanks to

A Wiki of Ice and Fire

https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Main_Page

and

A Search of Ice and Fire

___________

Without further ado, the list. This is a ranking of all characters from best to worst, with 398 being the worst and 1 being the best.

_____________________

F Tier:

398. Xaro Xhoan Daxos-

Xaro is like a weird homophobic stereotype. One could compare him to Varys, but Varys is a character and he has dimensions. There are moments where we are surprised by Varys. Varys has a boring room. Varys went out of his way to save Gendry. Varys has a fucked up backstory. Despite all of Varys’ silliness he never feels cartoony. He’s an actual capable and intelligent person who’s motivations are mysterious and intriguing. Et cetera, et cetera.

Meanwhile, Xaro Xhoan Daxos has no surprises. He’s just…ridiculously one noted, and that note teeters on the edge of being kind of homophobic with a few weird lines which I hope were not George’s intention.

All of this would be fine if he only had a few chapters, but he appears in two books. Two! 

Everything Xaro says and does is so basic. He’s got simple and un-unique strategies because of his simple and un-unique motivations. Half of his lines and actions feel the same. His purpose within not just the story, but within individual chapters and conversations, never changes. I’m getting really angry right now.

I get that we are supposed to hate Xaro, but the hatred I feel with him is not a fun hatred. I do not love to hate Xaro. I simply hate him. He annoys me. The way he talks is so fucking annoying, with this stupid eloquence wich makes simple sentences turn into paragraphs. It reminds me of papers I read in college. “I have crossed long leagues and stormy seas to help you once again.” “A pretty metal, but fickle as a woman. Gold, now…gold is sincere.” Shut the fuck up. He also talks about how hot Dany is every other second. I get the point that the traits of Dany which are valued are her appearance, so even someone who’s not attracted to women is going to act pervy, but it’s still annoying.

Xaro is also ridiculously condescending. It’s purposefully infuriating, but it’s so cartoony  and on the nose it’s not even a funny kind of infuriating. Perhaps he might go higher if he died a terrible death, but for now he’ll go here.

He also adds nothing to the story. He has two conversations with Dany in Dance. The first one lasts for pages, and it’s only purpose is to give us a bunch of information. The second one’s purpose is to piss Xaro off so he can declare war.

In conclusion, Xaro Xhoan Daxos is too ridiculous to be taken seriously, and too annoying to be taken comedically.

397. Yezzan zo Qaggaz- 

It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another (I think the enslaved people aren’t Ghiscari, but I’m not sure). They’re all ugly, cruel, ridiculously decadent, and greedy. It’s bland, it’s repetitive, and it’s almost, dare I say…lazy. The world of Mereen feels so drab in comparison to the world of Westeros because everyone there basically just acts basically the same. At least with the Ferengi, we were introduced to sympathetic and complex ones, and we learned about the nuances of their society and all that jazz. The Ghiscari are not afforded that same privilege. The exception is Hizdar Zo Loraq, who will be discussed later. 

I’m obviously not saying that George should have introduced us to a nice, sympathetic slaver. Please do not misconstrue my meaning. I’m saying that George could have introduced us to a slaver who’s personality stands out, or a Ghiscari who wasn’t a slaver or something. You can make a character complex and interesting while still having them be completely irredeemable in every way. This is ASOIAF, after all, and this story has lots of characters who are atrocious people but who still have interesting internal psychologies. Hell, sometimes adding complexity or whatever to a character can make them more hateable, as we will later see. I know the Ghiscari suck, but there’s no slaver who provokes the same degree of anger in me that Joff or Ramsay does, and I’ll explain why later.

These are all evil, irredeemable human-shaped pieces of shit, but at least Joff and Ramsay are characters. Ramsay isn’t even that complex…he’s mostly just sadistic for no reason, but his sadistic cruelty is still interesting because he is a character with traits beyond “evil”.  He’s a specific kind of evil, and there’s a reason he’s that kind of evil, and that specific kind of evil comes in a variety of ways. Grazdan and Yezzan and Kraznys are just evil. 

Once again, I am not saying that George should have made a slaver sympathetic. I want to emphasize that. He could have, at the very least, given one of them an interesting quirk, like one of them is a big fan of card games or whatever and the other slavers are really annoyed because he always wants to play. I don’t know. I’m not a critically acclaimed writer of dozens of fantasy and sci fi novels.

Obviously, George making the slavers all greedy and decadent makes a clear point, but there are ways to portray greed and decadence interestingly, as we see elsewhere in this story. With the Ghiscari, George just ramps up the traits to extreme levels, making the slavers too cartoony to be seen as a realistic threat. I’m not against this series being a bit silly, but the slavers feel beyond parody, and this hurts his criticism of the systems of Slaver's Bay, as the story focuses less on how the system doesn’t work, and instead simply shows that the people who benefit from it are annoying and gross. Now, the story can focus on how a system is fundamentally flawed and also show how the people who benefit from it suck, because this story does do that, but not with Slaver’s Bay. 

It’s also definitely possible to show oppressive forces as being ridiculously stupid and annoying while still having them feel real. Outside of ASOIAF, Quentyn Tarantino does this very well with Django Unchained and Inglorious Bastards. Within ASOIAF, well…we’ll see.

In conclusion, the character of Yezzan is extremely lazy writing.

396. Grazdan Mo Eraz (not pictured)- 

It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another.

Much has been written about how ASOIAF is not just a psychological story (meaning that the plot is driven by the character’s internal psychologies) but also a sociological story (meaning the plot is driven by the world around the characters). Dany’s story definitely succeeds on a psychological level as Dany’s character is well thought out. However, it only occasionally succeeds as a sociological story, in my opinion at least. 

This is because the society Dany interacts with in Storm and Dance doesn’t really feel like a society. We never see what daily life is like in Mereen, or see a diversity of thoughts and opinions within the citizens of Astapor. Everyone feels like a part of one big homogenous blob. A society is made up of individual people, with all of these individual people having their own psychologies. In a sense, sociological stories are psychological stories- but with the psychology of thousands or even millions of people. What is the internal psychology of Grazdan Mo Eraz? Why has his society made him think and act this way? The answer is, he has none. He’s just another bad guy. 

With much of the plot in Westeros, we see that these characters have ideologies which are a result of the world they're in, no matter how minor these characters are. For example, the two knights Brienne meets in her first chapter in Feast are clearly influenced by these ideals of knighthood and chivalry and gender, and these are very minor characters. Even the most displaceable of characters, such as Euron, are clearly influenced by their society's values.

We never get this with anyone in Slaver’s Bay.

395. Kraznys mo Nakloz-  

It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another. These three slavers are equal in value to me, as they are extraordinarily similar characters, with their only differences being different versions of sucking. One is harsh, one is jolly, and one is mocking. These are very common types of assholes within ASOIAF. I get them mixed up in my mind all the time.

I have one more issue with the Wise Masters of Yunkai and the Good Masters of Astapor. George wrote a fat character who suffered extreme amounts of abuse and bullying because of his weight and has to learn to love himself. However, he also wrote a bunch of characters who are fat to show that they’re rich. This trope isn't even subverted in any way, like with Wyman Manderly. The Wise Masters are fat, and it seems like we’re supposed to be disgusted by the fact that they’re fat because it means they’re decadent and gross. With Wyman, his weight is cleverly used against us, as we assume he’s just a bit player who only cares about himself, but then it turns out that he’s an extreme badass who uses his obesity as a shield. Even with Illyrio, we get the idea that he is more than what he seems to be, and he also serves as a reference to the “jolly fat guy” trope from Shakespeare. However, with the wise masters, they’re just overweight. We are supposed to think it’s funny that Kraznys “has bigger breasts than Dany”. I suppose maybe it’s actually to show Dany’s immaturity, and that she’s negatively influenced by beauty standards, but that’s not something which is really explored. With Cersei, we get her trusting hot people who betray her and disliking “ugly” people who are actually trying to help her. 

That doesn’t seem to be a big part of Dany’s character. Kraznys is what he seems to be and nothing much more than that.

394.Doreah- 

She was not much of a character

And ohhh…she had no personality

And I got this crazy feeling

I’m gonna ah ah put her low

And oh she was so boring

I didn’t care when she died

And I got this crazy feeling

George didn’t care either

As Dany only thinks of her once afterwards

You may ask what’s her name

And I’ll whisper her name

I’ll whisper her name

And her name is D-O-R-E-A-H 

DOREAH! D-O-R-E-A-H

And oh, I’m gonna tell the world

She was Dany’s handmaiden

No, not Jiqui or Iqui

The only difference is that she was blonde

And the way she was described

Was very creepy

DOREAH! D-O-R-E-A-H!

Oh, what’s the point?

What’s the point of her?

Quentyn died for someone’s sins, but not mine.

392 and 393. Irri and Jiqui-

I have forgotten the existence of Irri and Jiqui. They are Dany’s Dothraki “friends”. I feel like George screwed up by making all of Dany’s friends (other than Missandei) uninteresting, and also making most of the Dothraki she encounters lacking in any depth. Jon has a large treasure trove of kooky characters for him to bounce off of. Some of these characters are wildlings, who are displayed as having a wide variety of character types. 

Meanwhile, there are two flavors of Dothraki we meet: fierce men and fragile women. This fill-in-the-blanks approach to character writing is super boring, sticking out extraordinarily from the rest of the series. I don’t care about Jhogo because he is the same as Aggo who is the same as Rakharo. I don’t care about Irri because she’s the same as Irri who is just a non-Lysene Doreah.

Irri and Jiqui are not characters. That requires character traits, which they lack.

391. Reznak Mo Reznak- 

Reznak Mo Reznak is just…too goofy. His whole evil manipulator schtick feels like something from a C-tier Disney movie, and there simply isn’t anything done to make him in any way interesting or memorable. And, with many of these other lower tier characters, one could argue that they work well as set dressing, but Reznak’s set is already dressed fine. We get the idea that Mereen is a pit of vipers, and we get that there are all these people giving Danny bad advice. He adds nothing but another voice, and as voices go, his is the most annoying.

390. Aegon IV- 

Aegon IV feels like an AI generated list of things you don’t want a medieval king to be.

389. Alliser Thorne- 

Purposefully asshole characters are old hat. Sure, Alliser Thorne was created in the 1990s, but uhhh…whatever. Alliser does feel a tad bit tropey, which makes him kind of annoying. He’s also not evil in a fun way, just a jerk. I also don’t like Rast, but I didn’t get an image of him, so I’d also put him here.

I suppose one could say that we need two dimensional jerks like this in this part of Jon’s story, and I suppose that is true. However…I still don’t like him.

I’ve seen a lot of war movies, and there are tough drill instructors who are just as dimensional as Alliser yet still manage to be more interesting. Just look at Heavy Metal Jacket.

Also, like what is Alliser’s deal? He has no motives beyond just hating everyone for no real reason.

388. Jaehaerys II- 

Jaehaerys II is easily the most boring Targ king. Maybe he had a personality, but I can’t say for certain.