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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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It's been wonderful being able to talk about these things for me too! I haven't really had the opportunity since Y7 came out, so I'm positively buzzing. And no worries about the tone of your post about Daigo's article haha, I appreciate it when issues are pointed that I might've missed otherwise since that's at least something actionable.

But I'm obviously not going to stop anyone from venting frustrations with the wiki or with Fandom as a platform; I frequently find myself frustrated too! It's one of the things that keeps people editing the wiki. I'm honestly fine with whatever as long as it's not accusing us of being fujoshi for the billionth time lol, but for better or worse I do like to clarify what we're trying to do if there's any confusion.

Speaking of, Mine's relationship tags are kind of a funny story! So a lot of them have these dotted underlines and question marks, right? You're supposed to be able to hover over underlined terms to see a short definition (on desktop) and click the question mark to see an article with all the definitions on mobile, since hover actions aren't possible on a touchscreen.

But since the article was and still is under construction, Fandom doesn't show the link to logged-out users. So I had no idea it just looks like we're saying the tag is ambiguous lol. It's up now though, so it's hopefully easier to understand what we're trying to do!

I just found it funny I specifically added that feature to reduce confusion. Half the grief we get over Mine's "romantic interest" tag is because people assume we're saying it's mutual (we chose the term to try and avoid the "mutual" connotations of "love interest," but I guess that didn't work out). I also thought it might help with somewhat esoteric tags like "co-parent" (which was put in place for Jo and Arakawa and then I kept thinking of others) and "surrogate son." Turns out it's tough to boil complex relationships down to one term!

I definitely have SO many questions about New Year's Day and I probably always will; for the space of only one night, it's a huge blank. I certainly do have to wonder if shipping Masato off to America was decided then and there. There's a lot that could possibly be expanded on in RGGO (further interactions between Arakawa and Jo included lol), so I've got hope for that too now that we're back to random events. I'd be really interested to see how you'd portray it someday!

Talking about Nakai and Tsutsumi reminded me, Nakai mentioned he read the whole script in a day so he "wouldn't do a disservice to Arakawa or Sawashiro's characters." That kind of stuck out to me precisely because there are so few scenes between them compared to like, Arakawa and Ichi, and they're all relatively low-impact in comparison.

Of course, it could be marketing on account of him and Tsutsumi getting to co-star again, or the scenes could simply have stood out to him more for that reason, or he could've had a different impression of the ratios having read the script rather than played the game. But the part of me that makes me want to go Off The Deep End speculating is kind of wondering if there were other scenes planned?

And absolutely! I'm not able to reblog often because the post editor's been crashing whenever I try to tag my posts, but I hope you know I love your work and I'll support pretty much anything you put out! I'm very excited to share my findings as well.

A lot of it's to do with Mine's relationship to Western culture vs. Japanese culture (his "westabooism," basically), so that's specific to him, but there a lot of interesting concepts and theories in Japanese psychology regarding familial bonds, met and unmet emotional needs. They work as an explanation for his probable feelings of alienation from Japanese culture, but I feel they would make for an interesting lens to examine the Arakawas through as well.

I actually hadn't ever considered the similarity with regard to Mine and Jo's dads, but that makes so much sense! If I were to take it a step further, I think feelings of "abandonment" by their fathers have had long-lasting effects on both them and Masato. Jo we've been talking about, his father was technically still "there," but he wasn't in his corner, which feels much the same as abandonment to a child.

I think Mine's internalized a lot of the same feelings even though his father never meant to abandon him (I guess Jo's may not have, necessarily; alcoholism can destroy a family whether the individual wants that to happen or not). Like, unfairness, displacement, lack of control, the loss of the only support you have and so on. I think dwelling on that is what sent Mine's mental state spiraling, and what made it imperative to just believe Daigo was "dead" to try and move on as soon as possible. He didn't want to be hurt the same way again.

It's also probably what he was projecting in his ridiculous villain speech during The Orphanage Scene; the reason offering kids support in the way Kiryu does is a form of "victimization" in his eyes, at that moment, is because that support can be ripped away from you at any time. The scene is kind of hilarious to me because it's like, "okay we need Mine to have a kick-the-dog moment, his actions have been too understandable," but I do get it from that angle.

Similarly, I think those feelings of abandonment are why Arakawa faces the brunt of Aoki's abuse, because it's like, "YOUR negligence is why I had to go through all of that." So I get why Jo, like your sister, wouldn't want the finger pointed at him, but at the same time… damn. Perhaps if Arakawa had never had that talk with Masato, things might've been different. I get the impression he wouldn't be able to endure keeping things to himself for as long as Jo, though, given things like the letter he sent Ichi in prison.

Oh, yeah, Jo is CRAZY protective of Masato too! "If anything happens to him, killing you a thousand times would be insufficient!" I think part of his overreaction to having Masato's money is also that if Ichi can't listen to orders that fundamental, who's to say he listened to the orders to keep Masato safe? I guess if you see Ichiban as incompetent to the point of almost being a malicious actor, you might think that.

I'm sooo so glad you've noticed the rest of those similarities haha, I've been rotating them around in my brain like a cube for ages. A Venn diagram would be so fun to see! That's such an insightful look at the differences between Mine and Jo's offices too. I was a little confused about the placement of the social spaces, or even that they're there, but if you look at it as clearly separate from his personal spaces, it does make sense.

Also, not to harp on the books in the offices too much, but I compared the textures a little earlier. Mine's are basically all (very expensive) encyclopedias and language phrasebooks in English, Italian, French, and German, in contrast to Jo's discrete hardcovers and series of art history books. They're probably all stock assets lol, but I think they're surprisingly good fits; Mine dumping considerable time, money, and energy into his fascination with Western culture and Jo being the type to not want people to know what he's reading totally works for me.

But yes! It's kind of funny, because Yokoyama wasn't much of a Mine fan in his early days, but I hope he and the others keep on writing characters like him. I think of it as Mine's "legacy" in a series where past characters aren't acknowledged too often; the most I can recall are that Hakuho mention in 4 and the fencing around the Touto roof perimeter.

Speaking of, I love Mine's missed shots in the finale specifically because he's an excellent marksman in his Okinawa character story. Why? How? Who Knows, He's Perfect. (Probably not as good of a shot as Daigo though lol)

And yeahhh, there are other interviews, but it ain't the same! It was the most in-depth one I know of. I think this is one of the only remnants, and I shall entrust it to you.

But yes, exactly! And I'm also glad Y7 introduced more people to them (myself included), Tsutsumi's my favorite actor of all time and Nakai's brilliant. They make a great combi! Of the things I've seen where they co-star, I think Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP are both solid; the latter is a special for a longer show, but I honestly didn't even notice lol. Musashi I wasn't personally able to get through even though I've read the book, so I'm not sure how it plays out between them.

Also I DIDN'T KNOW TORU DIED IN PURE??? That came out of nowhere oh my god T___T But if you're ever looking for anything rare, feel free to ask! I might know a guy (gender neutral) with a stash, Fly, Daddy, Fly included.

OH MAN MINE'S WIKI ENTRY I've definitely made my opinions about it known, but now knowing the truth behind it it's kind of funny and still so unfortunate. I'd almost want to recommend a section dedicated to the topic since it's such an integral part of his character, though I also understand wanting to keep the wiki strictly to factual information and to exclude speculation (or "speculation" anyhow- it's definitely more of a concrete situation, especially going off of the information provided in your pinned post on the topic. If anything, that sort of information would belong to the "Trivia" tab wouldn't it- but again, it's such a deep situation it can't really be summarized in one or two sentences) and the topic being too niche to have a page dedicated to it. It's nice to know that the subject isn't trying to be brushed under the rug though and it's just a matter of awkward formatting/incomplete work!

Furthermore on The New Years Event, I would LOVE RGGO to expand on the topic since they've been so liberal with the stories they make and the depth those stories add to the characters. Honestly, I was expecting Masato's card to have that as its accompanying character story, so it's unfortunate that he doesn't get it or any story as far as I'm aware (or maybe he does have one and my poor pull luck has just prevented me from getting the card to find out myself, but I've looked as much as I could and couldn't find an upload of it). Oh well, I guess it's the old "if you want something done you gotta do it yourself-" not that anything I could make could ever be up to scratch, so I'm glad I do have people interested in what I have in mind :)

About Nakai, I wouldn't feel wrong trying to accredit his comment to a time before he knew the full plot or saw the full game and was just debriefed on the general story/character relationships, and I also wouldn't put it past RGG to have deleted scenes/ideas (if those do exist, RGG please let me in your vault I'd like to take a peak...)!

The psychology of Mine is another topic I've been wanting to officially tackle for a while now, so I'm glad I have this chance to share some of what I have mental bullet points for.

Moreover, Mine's dad and how he "left" Mine undeniably impacted him significantly beyond physically leaving him alone, and it definitely manifests in The Orphanage Scene and his idea that killing Daigo would be "putting him out of his misery". In those instances, he sees Daigo and the orphans as victims of an unfair reality, Daigo being comatose, and the orphans having the endure the struggles of being orphans (and that added-on, projected anxiety that their comfortable lives now could vanish at any second like it did for Mine). Mine's mustache-twirling villainy is funny for its absurdity, but I also genuinely appreciate it since it lets us peak into his warps philosophy better. It doesn't justify his actions by any means, but it explains to us why he can justify his actions as from a place of love or pity as opposed to thoughtless evil.

To add on, Mine's relationship with his father, from what we're allowed to gather, was healthy and positive. Because of their positive relationship, the removal of such adds credence as to why Mine's desperate to get that love again. It especially makes sense considering Japan's horrendous attitude and negligence towards orphaned children that was even demonstrated during Mine's childhood while his father was alive.

And as an inverse aside, Jo's relationship with his dad was toxic, whether it was due to blatant abuse or combined negligence. It's fair to assume that Jo never got to experience genuine, secure love growing up, so as a result, it's not something he actively seeks out. He's been without it long enough that it's not something he necessarily craves like Mine who used to have it until it was taken from him.

Masato certainly makes it clear he felt isolated despite the efforts Jo and Arakawa repeatedly went through for him, and it's apparent it's an unfortunate side affect of internalized ableism. It definitely doesn't help anyone's case that Masato had seemingly been informed of the night of his birthday's events (from Arakawa's point of view, obviously), and it's clear that knowledge gives ammunition as to why he resents him.

You're right on Jo potentially seeing Ichi as a bad actor, it's not as if he has disdain for him for no reason! Like even if Ichiban hadn't taken Masato's money the way Jo could have imagined, the idea that Ichi can't be responsible in one avenue can easily lead back to Ichi having the potential to look after Masato, especially when he seems to be the one who predominately looks after him when he's tasked to.

I've already got my program open to make my little chart and have my reference pictures ready, so hopefully I can have that silly thing out soon haha- I'm glad you're interested in seeing it, and I hope other people will like to see it too! Jo and Mine really are my favorite antagonists, so it's funny (and I guess not surprising) that they have parallels to them.

To add on to that though, I think it's fun to look at the extra details, no matter how small; I'm probably more happy than I should be that you looked at their office's books, but I can't help be a fan of the details you found (whether they're generic models or not, I'm running with them- I've done more with less before lmao)! Mine having language books is definitely in-line with his interests, but Jo having art history books is weirdly endearing (and dare I say another point for "these are the same picture" comparing it to Mine's own love for art). Jo being so private to the point of blocking out the binds of the books he owns is so accurate to him and his secrecy, and the concept that he likes to read about art in his spare time is a new favorite concept for me.

Mine really isn't acknowledged much after 4; in comparison to Ryuji and Nishiki, he's remembered throughout the series the least (you can argue the same for Ryuji, but considering he gets a whole new life in Dead Souls, I think it's fair to say that makes up for the mainline series forgetting about him. Though I guess the same could be Mine getting a prominent role as Hijikata in Ishin... Definitely not as cool of a spot as to be a playable protagonist with a machine gun arm if I'm honest). In that, it's great that his likelihood can exist in future characters, and I hope they continue the trend of phenomenal antagonists in LaD8 and onward!

I'm eternally grateful for this frame you've gifted me thank you so much- Nakai's smile is such a blessing honestly, I'm glad if anything survived from the interview it can be this shot at least.

I've got Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP added to my watch list, DEFINITELY something I'll be excited to check out as a reward once I have all my important business taken care of this week! Honestly, I haven't seen Musashi either: while I was looking through their filmography I saw it was a project they did, but I've always been bad at watching long series so I didn't take the time to see their performance together.

For things I have seen though... yeah he dies SORRY IF THAT WAS HOW YOU FOUND OUT </3</3 Honestly I didn't expect myself to love the series as much as I did (admittedly it was predominately because of the leads and their relationship), but when it happened I was both- dare I say crushed- a little humored a little funny in a dark-comedy way.

And if you do have access to harder-to-get films, I'd absolutely be interested in hearing about it. One of Nakai's movies Good Morning Show has been haunting me for weeks: it sounds like such a fun movie yet I can't find it anywhere </3

#long post #fave #i have to fave these now because i be putting my essay notes in these OOPSIE #snap chats #the state of the arakawas is probably one of my favorite things to explain to people BECAUSE its so complicated #i showed my sister the ending of Y7 despite her not knowing anything about the series since i was talking about how upset it made me #and i tried to explain the whole family situation since it was relevent #just... yeah so the guy in blue was put in a locker by his dad and then he got saved by another guy #and he did that because he thought the guy in blue was his kid- who is actually the guy in red #because /his/ mom put him in a locker because of yakuza business and she couldnt take care of him #but now dad-who-put-a-baby-in-a-locker came back so now he co-parents alongside the guy who took his baby #but theyre not together they just. raise 'their' kid but the other guy doesn't know that his co-parent is the /actual/ dad #i know i already made a parody of it but it genuinely has the set up to some goofy slice-of-life manga i love it ☠️☠️#its SO funny to try to explain its easy to understand if you put it down on paper or write it out but to verbally do it 😭☠️☠️#moving on tho i'd love to know more about that japanese psychology bit #im asian myself and tho obviously not all asian cultures are the same they overlap #so im curious to see if i can recognize any of the issues i notice in my own culture with that which can be applied to the arakawas + mine #the bit on his western idolization is something im interested in too ! esp based on the books in his office it could be an interestin topic #man i just keep looking at that interview picture and it really does have the energy of a proud dad and his son #maybe thats just because nakai's smile reminds me of my dads #but yes yes thank you again for writing it ! i know i keep saying it but i cant stress how nice it is to take this extensively #especially because not only do i learn a bit more and learn some details i missed but it also helps me expand my own thoughts #that i hope to make into bigger posts #on that note though i have one more quick post to make after this one then i have to tend to some of that Important Business..#and thank you for being a supporter of me and my work ! sometimes i get a bit self conscious about it #i know i post a lot too and i never expect people to interact with my things so im grateful for the knowledge you enjoy it !

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demonsfate · 2 years

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man, i love both jinxiao and jinhwoa and i've been in fandoms too long to engage in drama nowadays, but tbh it's amazing how people read/watch things with their ass because how do you say that it was Jin and not Dj (literally the demon inside him) the one who beat Hwoarang??? also some fans are very weird and annoying about the kazjun ship too like you said, idk like sometimes people have the worse takes ever and you just.. have to sigh and move on🚶‍♂️

i love them both! i believe i pointed out before that both are solid ships because both have wonderful dynamics with each other that fits well. i'd be happy if either one became canon, and either one would make sense. i try not to engage in drama, but gosh darn twitter is a hell site that just SHOWS you posts frm ppl you don't follow. so it's easier to get into arguments. i already had an argument with that person before. and i ALMOST got into another one bc i WANTED to tell them to "grow up" and point out that, yeah, DJ is the one that did that to hwoarang. not jin. ALSO LIKE. CANONICALLY. hwoarang DOES not even VIEW jin and dj as the same person!

so this definitely means hwoarang doesn't even blame jin for what DJ did to him in tk5, because he doesn't consider them to be the same. i wish the rest of the fanbase can think like hwoarang does!

yeah - they were also kazjun fans. which the op, as i said, made a post something along the lines of jun telling paul his consumption of hamburgers is unhealthy, then paul replying "you know what else is unhealthy? that relationship you have with kaz." and then a few annoying shippers freaked out about it and called it "pathetic," and "disrespectful to the characters" and all kinds of stuff. like i love the kazjun ship, i love the OVA because it explores what it could be. but holy shiiiit those fans need to stop being annoying about it.

LIKE they tried to say, "you can't deny the strong bond kaz and jun had!" and it's like WHAT STRONG BOND???? I'M SORRY. BUT CANONICALLY - KAZ HAD NEVER EVEN BEEN SEEN WITH JUN ON SCREEN, AND THE ONLY THING HE EVER SAID ABOUT HER, IIRC, WAS IN TK6 WHEN HE SIMPLY CALLED HER "MYSTERIOUS." jun had never spoke about him, either! HELL, in TAG 2 - WHERE WE COULD'VE HAD MORE DEVELOPMENT AMONGST THEM - kaz's ending didn't involve jun (not rly - it involved unknown, but NOT in a romantic way) and jun's ending didn't involve kaz. the only time we saw them on screen together IN A GAME, was in tag 1. devil's ending. again. i love the ship. but to act like it's some GREAT LOVE STORY ABOUT TWO PEOPLE WHO PASSIONATELY LOVED EACH OTHER TO THE VERY END AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS WRONG that's just... incorrect. we BARELY know their relationship. for all we know, it was just a one night stand! or they never had love for each other, but "fate" pulled them together to make jin. like. WE DON'T KNOW YET BECAUSE THEY WON'T TELL US. and the OVA can't be used as proof, because then you can use the 2010 movie as proof that jun didn't love kaz, but instead loved fucking steve.

you're right! i need to stop using twitter. i keep telling myself i'll stop! but yet - i always go to it when i'm bored and then sometimes i see ppl. it just annoys me that they have to be HATEFUL toward other people. ship what you want (as long as it's not fucking weird as i said - not talking proshipper stuff) but don't harass ppl for their ships.

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)#✏️ - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ? // (inbox)#// STILL can't believe there exists ppl who willingly harass others over harmless ships!

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doomed-prophetess · 2 years

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Dikita and Aiyla definitely share the strongest and purest bond, theirs is an undefined sort of love— even if Dikita doesn't love Aiyla romantically, the latter is still the no 1 person in her heart. And of course, Aiyla was torn and conflicted at first at her more-than-platonic feelings because... are they sisters? are they kin? is Dikita a spirit? where the hell did she come from? and then after a while Aiyla went “welp, I'm fine with this actually”. If she gets to be with Dikita, it doesn't really matter the label or the exact kind of love. Felix is the embodiment of “too little, too late”, he was shackled by his fears until he snapped— but by the point he snapped things were already irreparable. Dikita was already dead, her child already gone. And he regrets it, immensely. But it doesn't change the fact that compared to Lily, Aiyla and the fellow harem-mates who'd agreed to raise Athy together, he did... basically nothing. His love for Dikita was there, but so too was his storm of emotions (love, fear, hate, everything) towards Claude— and the two cancelled each other out until he was paralyzed. The love did not save Dikita, in the end... Who knows, in another version of the story, in another universe, maybe, if only, if only he could've mustered up the courage to meet Dikita in secret, things may have turned out differently...

Aiyla definitely isn't impressed, lol. She recognizes that he's a caged bird, like recognizes like after all, but she wishes he'd have, oh well she doesn't know, a spine? a sense of adventure? she too was a caged bird but that didn't stop her from constantly sneaking out or eventually running away. She's so frustrated.

The impressions and dynamic between Lily and Felix when the two meet again would be... interesting, to say the least.

They are soulmates 💗😌 whose love cannot be easily defined. Aiyla is a lesbian but her love for Diana cannot be put into one category and has been very confusing to her since she was young, because she was always so insistent that it had to be one or the other. Once she has matured she doesn't care to put a concrete label on these feelings, she just knows that Diana is her most special person, and being around her makes her happy enough.

lol I imagine she's super judgmental towards Felix and she's just so done with the men in her life by the time she has met him (she thinks he is a dormant and a spineless fool who lets people walk all over him as they please) and only respects him a little bit because he is Diana's lover. I can imagine young lovesick Aiyla just moping in a corner wondering what Felix has that she doesn't and why Diana chose him over her. Is it because he is a dashing knight? It has to be the uniform. Or maybe the red hair? Is Diana into redheads? Or because he is a war hero? Should she murder Claude? While we are at it the question needs to be adressed: did Aiyla ever contemplate murdering Claude as Diana's death approached? Is the Siodonnian royal family capable of wielding magic? I mean logically they should have to be otherwise they would've been colonized centuries ago by the Obelian Empire.

I'm intrigued by Aiyla's and Felix' interactions, assuming they meet regularily, because unlike Diana, I imagine Aiyla would have been allowed to leave the grounds of the Ruby Palace and was far less restricted than her. That probably means they ran into each other a few times or she played a bit love cupid and looked for him to give him a message from Diana. But which non shippy relationship interests me almost as much as Felix and Aiyla is Aiyla's and Claude's. How is her relationship to Claude? Supposing that claudiana is the toxic mirror to aiyladia, this would make Aiyla the Claude to Felix' Diana. Did Aiyla just walk into the Ruby Palace with her suitcase and he just let her stay because they are both royals and he was not in the mood to start another political conflict? Did they exchange one look and Claude correctly identified her as Diana's overattached childhood companion as in "like recognizes like"? Did he allow Aiyla to live in the same palace as Diana even though she was not his concubine, because he empathizes (as much as he is able to empathize with someone he does not love) with her situation? Or was it a more practical reason than an emotional, namely that he recognized Diana's fragile psyche needed a stabilisator or she would break completely? Does he know Aiyla loves Diana romantically or did the thought that a woman could love a woman never cross his mind and that's why he saw her never as a threat to his and Diana's relationship?

#cosidering Aiyla and Claude are both royals they might have seen each other a few times when they were children #they would have been invited to weddings or the coronation of another ruler #or a banquet/ball etc #like if they knew other other before how would that have changed Aiylas' perception of Claude?#she might have pitied him before #a perfect summer storm #notanon #answered asks

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inquisitorvihannon · 3 years

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It would be cool if in Inquisition they had just idk made most of the love interests bi and removed race restrictions unless their sexuality or preference was actually a part of their character (Ie: Dorian being gay is an important part of his backstory, Solas preferring only elves makes sense because of who he is) because like why did Blackwall have to be hetero? Why should I not be able to romance this wonderful bear while playing a male inquisitor? My same annoyances extend to Cullen and Cassandra. As far as I know being hetero isn’t integral to their character so? I just think it would be nice for everybody to have more options for an LI. I’m not saying every single LI should be bi, I just wish that there weren’t so many restrictions for the romances.

Also, I think it’s absolutely criminal how few options there tend to be. I am literally begging Bioware to let me fucking romance Varric. Like. Please. Why couldn’t Krem have been an option? What I would’ve given for Leliana to be romanceable in Inquisition too. I have such a list of people I think you should’ve been able to romance, including Vivienne, Stroud (if he’s there), and Michel de Chevin. Hell, I don’t think it should even be limited to just relatively major NPCs.

Y’know who could’ve had a hell of a romance story if she’d been given the opportunity? Judith, the cool woods lady from Crestwood. She was awesome, and there could’ve been a great story between her and this weird dirty Maker-sent dumbass that showed up on her front porch one day, who proceeded to kill a dragon in her backyard. You can’t tell me she wouldn’t have fucking killed it as an Inquisition scout.

I bet Knight Captain Rylen could’ve had a pretty nifty romance story too. Or maybe some of the named NPCs from Haven. Like you rescue them and instead of saying 3 words and then ignoring you once you get to Skyhold you can actually talk to them and their characters get developed.

There are genuinely so many opportunities for awesome romance paths in Inquisition and Bioware just kinda passed them all over. Actually it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a romance either, like even if you didn’t wanna romance Judith the woods lady, why couldn’t you actually chat with her more? She’s cool, she would’ve been cooler if you could properly befriend her.

#bioware critical #I just feel like there's so many missed opportunities #stories that could've been so wonderful romantic or otherwise #also im just salty i cant romance blackwall as a male inquisitor like why #bioware knew i was going to play this game and decided they hate me specifically #dragon age inquisition #da:i

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wxyvision · 4 years

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Puzzle Pieces

Member: Renjun

Genre: some angst, fluff

Au: school au, soulmate au, bff!Renjun

Word count: 1,595

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Everyone had a soulmate, reciprocated or not. That was a fact you'd learned at a young age. Some were common, like not being able to see colours until meeting them, or being able to hear their thoughts. Some were not so common, such as feeling their physical pain. That one was familiar to you, with one of your closest friends unlucky enough to have it. You were glad it wasn't yours, too. You didn't think you could handle that. Come to think of it, yours had never made itself obvious. You didn't hear their thoughts or feel their pain, you could see colour and you didn't have their birthday on your skin like a tattoo. No, you didn't experience any of the powers you'd read about. You were beginning to think the whole thing was a lie, and that you didn't have a soulmate, but you were proved wrong.

You were only a teenager when it first made its ugly appearance. A boy you'd had a crush on for a while had finally asked you on a date. Naïvely, at the time you thought a crush meant that they were your soulmate. You wondered why people needed any hints, surely having a crush was enough of a sign, right? He'd taken you to the annual summer fair. You knew he didn't like rides that much, but he knew how excited you were. The thought that he would go to an event he wasn't fond of just because you were made your heart flutter. It was a surprise, to say the least, that neither of your parents tagged along on the date to spy on the two of you. You wouldn't have blamed them, after all your parents didn't know him, know what he was like, and his parents didn't know you.

He turned out not to be as shy as you'd thought, not that you minded at all. You were glad he was so comfortable around you, because you were a nervous wreck. And it was his boldness that led you to finally discover what your soulmate power was. You could almost have tasted the lip balm he was wearing then, a sickly sweet flavour you couldn't quite put your finger on. He leant his forehead against yours, noses bumping and sorrys muttered. Your eyes fell closed, waiting for him to kiss you, but he never did. Wondering if he'd played you, your eyes snapped open. The way his cheeks were flushed and his lips were parted told a different story. He was… surprised? About what? Was he not going to kiss you? Maybe you had the wrong idea. "I.. I.." his eyes flickered to the ground and back to you.

For a few days afterwards, he practically ignored you at school. It hurt, the feeling that he had been playing with you making your heart sting. The first words he spoke when he finally did speak to you again were "I'm sorry". You stood in front of him, feeling like a fool but refusing to look like one, although him being in front of you made it hard to speak. "I shouldn't have ran off like that, and I shouldn't have ignored you." He swallowed. "I just- I didn't know what to say and it hurt and.. I think you deserve to know why." You crossed your arms, not warming up to his apology just yet. "I was gonna kiss you, I really was." But you didn't. "But I couldn't." You were confused. Why couldn't he? Did he already have feelings for someone else? Your heart panged at the thought. "Y/N I- I think I know your soulmate power, if that's what you'd call it." You hummed, interested. "When I say I couldn't kiss you.." You waited, heart stopping still. "I physically couldn't. It was as if there was a brick wall between us. I'm sorry, Y/N."

You always knew who to turn to in these moments, and as soon as you got home from school, you went over to your best friend's house. Although at this point it was pretty much your house too, from the amount of time you spent there, Renjun was surprised to see you out of the blue. Within a second, your arms were wrapped around his torso and tears were falling onto his shirt. He asked you what was wrong, offering to make you the biggest hot chocolate you'd ever seen. You sniffled. "I think I know what my power is." Renjun fell silent, pausing his actions. He didn't look at you, just hummed in encouragement, stirring an empty mug. "I went on a date today and.." he dropped the spoon he was holding, a loud metallic clunking ringing out. Renjun cursed under his breath, giving you a sheepish smile.

"He couldn't kiss me, Jun. He tried but he- for some reason he said something was stopping him." Your best friend knew at that moment that two large hot chocolates would be necessary. "If I'd asked what his power was I could've figured out from the start that he wasn't my soulmate." You hugged your knees close to your chest. "Have you figured out yours, yet?" Renjun panicked. What should he say? Should he tell the truth? No, he couldn't. But he didn't want to lie, either, not to you. "Junnie?" He snapped out of his thoughts, flashing you a small smile and shaking his head. He told you that he wasn't all that fussed about soulmates, at least not yet. Come to think of it, he never really spoke about any crushes to you, so this made perfect sense. You, half-jokingly, warned him not to try and kiss anyone in case he had your power too.

Renjun wasn't sure why he'd lied to you. Perhaps it was because you were hurt and he felt uncomfortable with saying the truth. It wasn't the right time, he figured. But now he felt bad because he could've spared you the tears. If only he could bring himself to remind you of a certain memory. It wasn't fair, why could you forget, yet he thought about it all the time? You were only about 7 at the time, so maybe you didn't find it as important as he did to begin with. Maybe he shouldn't have held on to it, but now he knew your power, his heart was going wild. Perhaps, by some wild chance, the puzzle pieces fit. Perhaps, if only he'd mentioned that kiss, you'd realise. Because the same thing that had happened to you, had happened to him a couple of times. It was confusing at the time, but one of his friends mentioned reading about that power once. Just like now, Renjun had remembered kissing you when you were younger. He'd never tell anyone, no, his friends would never let him live it down.

In the end he didn't have to tell you. After a few days crying about your date, you randomly found yourself reading your long-abandoned diary. Most of the things you'd written made you cringe, but the entry for the 1st of November made your breath hitch. It was the day you and Renjun had kissed. Did he remember? He must have forgotten, otherwise why didn't he mention it before? Your cheeks heated up, things suddenly making sense. He could kiss you and no one else could. If he had the same power as you, then that meant you were destined for each other. But that wasn't guaranteed since he still didn't know his power. You knew, though, that such a case wouldn't change a thing. He had always been your soulmate in your head, not necessarily the romantic kind before, but you knew if anything, the bond you shared with Renjun could survive a one-sided soulmate situation.

So there you were, head in his lap as his thumb grazed your knuckles. You wanted to say something, but you were nervous. And he was too, but he managed to fake a calm expression. "Have you ever kissed someone?" As soon as the words left your mouth you regretted them. Was it weird to ask, knowing what the truth was? Renjun gulped, ears turning red. You weren't sure if he remembered kissing you or if he'd kissed someone else since. Oddly, you weren't too fond of the second option. Was it because you were scared that your soulmate bond was one-sided and you'd get hurt? Renjun wasn't sure if he should come clean and remind you that he'd kissed you, or if he should lie and say no, seeing as you clearly didn't remember. But he couldn't, even if it was only one-sided. He couldn't lie to you anymore.

And that's why he stared down at you, his favourite pair of eyes staring back up at him taking his breath away. "You." Both of you felt yourselves blush at the statement. Your heart must've been doing acrobatics inside your chest or something, because it was bouncing around like a kid who'd had too much sugar. "I've only ever been able to kiss you." He hoped you'd get the hint from that. You nearly choked on air when he said that, the sudden realisation that not only did he remember, but that he had the same soulmate power as you. He was yours and you were his, as you'd always been. Renjun's heart couldn't take it. The longer you stared at him without saying a word, he wondered if he'd made things awkward by saying that. Until you spoke.

"Renjun.. kiss me again."

#nct #nct dream #nct fluff #nct angst #soulmate au #renjun #huang renjun #renjun fluff #renjun angst

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years

Text

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (3/?)

A/n: this is a long chapter. Hope you guys like it. In this chapter I referenced @hoodoo12 fic Inked

Read Part 1, Part 2

________

Chapter 3: Do You?

"Are you having a good time?" he wondered as you were picking at your meal, and drawing faces in it.

"It's been pleasant enough." you admitted; shifting in your seat to sit up properly. "You've certainly made it easy on me."

You appreciated how the time passed so easily with the chemist's want and eagerness for conversation. He was well-spoken, and nothing lacked but whether it was you or your wandering mind, you had the feeling of wanting to go home; to relax on Rick's couch and watch a silly movie, but the night would go on. Intrigued by your earlier statement, V'gha studied you for a moment, not so unlike the way Zeta-7 would. Flexing his thick fingers, and smirking as though he had found the secrets of the universe and not intending on sharing it, he rested his chin on his now clasped hands."Would you care to elaborate?"

"Sure. I believe it's because, despite our differences, you're not so bad. I was worried that you were going to be overly serious, but it's been fun chatting with you."

"Well," he started, "I hope you won't be offended by me saying this, but I thought you were going to be more Neanderthal."

"You know," you giggled. "I get that a lot."

It never occurred to you to expect anything to really happen right now, but through half-lidded eyes, there were flecks of melancholy along with another emotion you couldn't quite detect. It passed quickly as light amusement colored his voice. "Is self-deprecating humor common among your kind? It doesn't matter. You nonetheless contain an intellect that I can only describe as affable. Are all humans this way?"

"I don't know, I can't speak for my kind, but I can speak for myself. I think in my case," You considered with seriousness, trying to refrain from sharing too many details. "it's what happens when you live as I do; close to a mad genius who enjoys his work as much as his garden. No really," you paused, playing around with your cloth napkin. "it's nothing special. I wish I could give you a highly detailed explanation, but I don't consider myself much of an intellectual. I do learn something new everyday. I think that counts for something."

Nodding in agreement, he made an attempt to consume his meal of fried klema paste, but could only manage a small bite as he too gave up on trying to believe it was halfway edible. "If I would've been in my lab, I could've shown you a recipe for a formula that attracts insectoids large enough to feed a family for a month. Even the bitter, old, beetletoids would taste better than what we've been served tonight."

You had a feeling that the meals were chosen by a machine that couldn't determine what would be better; pleasing the taste buds or feeding the vitamin deficiencies; it seemed to be the latter.

"I'm sad to tell you that I don't eat insects or insectoids. Though," you smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment. Where I'm from, you either love them or despise them. There isn't much of an in-between. For my part, I admire them. Like, there's these cute little guy's called roly-polys. They kind of look like little pills and they hang out in dead leaves and stuff. Oh, and don't even get me started on iridescent insects. They're just so beautiful, like living jewels. Too bad I don't have an eloquent explanation to give you."

"Do you mean to say that insectoids or insects as you refer to them, are minuscule creatures where you're from? How fascinating. And stranger still," he gestured at your outfit. "I was just thinking that you appear somewhat iridescent yourself."

He must've been referring to the sequins on your dress which were mildly reflective and multichromatic. "That was the point," you joked readily. "to look as though I could fly away at any moment. At least that's the story I'm sticking with, but don't tell anyone I left my private jet at home."

"Well, it does suit you. Has anyone told you that?"

If he meant either your dress, attitude, or both, then Rick had but you weren't going to tell him that. "No, but thank you."

"Really," he insisted. "I mean it. I…..I can't help but feel as though I know you." Leaning slightly forward, though not so much that it would violate the law, and squinting, he wondered. "Are you sure we haven't met before?"

The multiverse thing was another classified subject on the infinite list of what you weren't allowed to talk about. For all you knew, he might've met another version of yourself or met you in passing in your travels with Rick. "No, we haven't. Maybe I remind you of someone."

Realization struck him, and he dug around in his pockets and pulled out a blank white card. Laying it out on the table, he pressed the corner of it, and it produced a hologram; it was a Salamandrian with vibrant coloring and stripes that made you wonder if they glowed in the dark. "That's why I've been perplexed. You remind me of her; an old colleague of mine."

"She's beautiful."

"Yes, I thought so too. We used to work in the same lab together and were close to a breakthrough which could've assisted with premature aging which my species are prone to, but it wasn't meant to be. We ran out of funding and while working on another project, she collapsed. Before I knew it, she succumbed to rapid aging. Cha'thxa was amiable like yourself and loved to joke around. I believe that's why we were good friends."

"It's always the good ones. I'm sorry."

Replacing the card back into his pocket, he sobered. "It's alright. That was half a lifetime ago, but it's odd how events can trigger these recollections. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For these interactions of ours. It made me feel youthful."

What? Now that couldn't be right. If it hadn't been such an odd thing for him to say, you wouldn't have given a second thought to how he had spoken and carried himself. Really, you thought he was younger than yourself. "How old are you exactly? You don't look mature."

Taking a long sip of his beverage, he admitted with amusement. "Let's just say that the equivalent in human years is roughly 64.322 years old."

"What? No way. I wouldn't have ever guessed, but it shows what I know."

Though you weren't an expert on reptiles either, so how could you have known?

"Would it have really mattered? The only difference it would have made was perhaps in the way you would've treated me. I don't enjoy being treated as though I'm feeble-minded and will collapse at any moment."

"I promise, I wouldn't have."

"If only it were that simple. I've done the same, except I did the opposite and discriminated against someone far younger than I was and believed them foolish, but now that I've seen more of the world, and have familiarized myself with the universe through my travels and mostly through my studies, I realize how wrong I was. These days, I intend to live out the rest of my life to the fullest and to not be ashamed of it. And keeping in mind with that," he paused, ruminating on what he was about to ask. He continued. "I hope this isn't presumptuous of me to ask, but I'd love to invite you to my home planet." And with that winning, sharp-toothed smile, he explained. "Warm bodies are now allowed to visit and I would love to show you my dwelling. I believe you'd enjoy the view of the river. You seem to be the type that would never tire of good company."

It was a shame that he was such a fascinating creature, for you two might've been able to be good friends in a different life. "I do enjoy good company and most likely I would love the river, but under my current circumstances, I'm sorry to say it probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Calmly, he wondered. "Is it because of that human we saw a few hours ago is your mate?"

"Yes," you answered without hesitation. "I would consider him so."

"Forgive me then, for I didn't know, but I should have come to that conclusion." he remarked sheepishly. "You reek of him and your hormones changed every time I asked you about him."

"Look," you sighed, feeling a little embarrassed at the series of events which led up to this. "it's alright. I think it's the guidelines of this event that prevent us from being in each other's presence, but even if it's a crime, I wish he was here. I'm sorry if I acted out of place otherwise."

Giving you a wink, V'gha rose and gently took your hand; not only was it against the law, but against his character. You were going to pull away, but he said in Rick's voice. "Terminate simulation."

______

You removed the headset you had forgotten you were wearing. "Oh no, did I mess up again? Would I have died of food poisoning? Dysentery? I swear this is harder than the Oregon Trail."

"N-no, you did alright." he said at first, thoughtfully tapping at charts across his multiple screens set up. "Every time you were presented with a-a challenge, you followed the protocols and procedures just as you were instructed, but it's when you depart the ship which has my calculations going all over th-the place. Gosh, I now realize that it - it doesn't matter which of the guests are assigned as your companion. There is a 33.682% chance that they'd take a romantic interest in you, while there's only a 7% chance of you taking interest in them."

"Ricky, what in the world are you talking about?" You were sure that all of it was simply meant to be a learning experience and that none of it was real. However, considering it was meant to be a realistic simulation, the possibility of romance was there, despite how minimal the chances were. "I thought the reason we were going through the simulation was so that I wouldn't jeopardize the mission. Am I to understand that you don't want me to go because you discovered there's a small chance that a guest or two might fall for me?"

He scratched the back of his neck, wary to meet your questioning gaze. "Gee, I wouldn't have phrased it th-that way. I just....I-I don't like it."

"Oh my goodness," you couldn't help but exclaim. "Rick, are you jealous?"

It was always surprising when he was for it happened so rarely, and when it did you were more flattered then concerned. You continued. "I thought these scenarios always end the same way. You know I only want to be with you, even at the risk of my life. Why these aliens would take an interest in me, I'll never know, but it's cool that the people I'm assigned to are fascinating characters. Doesn't it prove that I'm ready for this mission? I kept the sharing of valuable information to a minimum, and I got along with mostly everyone."

"Gee, I don't know. Y-you're almost ready. However," he pointed at his computer screen. "there are anomalies in some of the earlier models which are concerning. In scenario 3, 7, and 15, the chances of my extermination were 18.475% because I-I allowed myself to get distracted from the mission. In scenarios 17, 19, and 25, there's such a minuscule change that we can forget them altogether. Yet, in the last five scenarios, especially this last simulation, it jumped to 42% and I ended it before things w-would've gone sour. Golly, studying the patterns between them all taught me that you're attractive t-t-to multiple species."

"What can I say, must be my animal magnetism." you teased as you wiggled your eyes brows.

Thoroughly worried, he sighed. "It appears so."

"Come on Ricky," you softened. "I'm only kidding. Listen, why don't you disguise yourself as V'gha, while one of your robot clones handles the mission? Out of all of them, V'gha was one of the nicest. We can knock him out temporarily."

"That could work, but that's highly risky."

"How so?"

"Because staying alive means I-I can't do this."

Wrapping an arm about your waist, the beginnings of a smile were taking place. "For this, I'd get my arms chopped off. It's due t-to the fact that centuries ago a war broke out from a single incident that occurred b-between two rivals who fought for the love of a Milleannos grounds protector whose sole purpose was to guard and tend to the bud that would never bloom in their lifetime. So, this kind of behavior between us is a big no-no. At least as non-royals of Petram Viridios IV." And pressing a kiss to your temple, he chuckled. "I don't know what'd happen to me if I did that, but I-I wouldn't want to find out."

"Do the inhabitants of that planet learn their traditions through tall tales?"

"I-I don't know, but it doesn't seem that far-fetched. It's um - it's possible that over time, they've needed t-to learn sets of skills in order to survive in the once harsh terrain, but seeing how they were able to preserve their culture for hundreds of thousands of years, they must be doing something right. Still, knowing all this, I-I doubt I could keep my cool and stay away from you. Apparently, the simulations tell me the same thing."

"In that case," you softened. "I might have to remove myself from this mission. After all, I don't want you to think I'm trying to woo a few strangers."

"Boy, I-I didn't mean it t-t-to sound that way."

"Of course not, but you told me the truth. And you're entitled to it in some respects. Though, while you spoke of data and calculations, you didn't ask me how I felt. Why not dear? I'm not ashamed to tell you."

Yet, he seemed ashamed to ask. "Did - did you feel anything?"

Smoothing out the lines about his mouth and eyes with your fingers, you confessed. "I felt flattered by their attention, and their company wasn't that bad. I felt……well, like a person in society, who meets and meets dozens of people, and only really takes interest when the conversation is somewhat comfortable and familiar, but I wanted you there to enjoy it too. " Pointing towards the monitors, you continued." If you take a closer look at the data on my brain waves, changes of hormones, and heart rate, then you'll see where my mind and heart truly was. In nearly all of them, I saw parts of you. Not so much physically, but there were personality traits that were so much like your own, I almost didn't feel so lonely. Yet, I never stopped searching for you in them, and in the world around me, in silence, in smiles over knowings, and in reminiscences, hoping you would come and could be in my reach."

Resting his hand atop yours, he sighed. "Th-that explains a few things."

"Does it? I know you were watching as it played out. And don't think I didn't know what you did this time around. I know it was you on that stage, veiled, and far away. Was that also part of the simulation? It…it felt so real. Somehow our souls were closer then they'd ever been."

"I added the possibility of being asked t-to play the Tremen orb bush. When played, it does induce a trance-like state, but during that part of the simulation, I-I tried to keep you calm because y-you were in the beginning stages of a panic attack."

It must've been because of the claustrophobic feeling of being in a chamber. So you hadn't been alone. "Dear, did you hold me and keep me safe?"

"In a manner of speaking. Y-you weren't in any immediate danger, but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. So I - I moved my chair over, held your soft hands," he confessed shyly. "and talked to you for a little while. It must've helped for soon enough your vital signs were back to normal."

Yes, he was that sort of man; the kind who'd want to take care of you, and make sure you're alright; who'd give up a day in his garden to spend a dozen ensuring that within dreams you'd live to see another. What did you ever do to deserve him?

"I see. You know Rick, despite not bringing it up, I'm sorry that I had to pretend not to know you."

"That's okay."

He understood, way too easily did he understand. Digital planes with hundreds of foreign figures, blades of grass duplicated to fill in spaces, dreamland feelings which were wisps of real ones, he withstood them all. Slipping in and out of realities were preparations for the real tests which had and would continue to come your way. You admired his fortitude because till now he's dealt with the hardships incurred purposely and accidentally.

"Even if it was potentially part of the mission, and you knew I had to do it, it didn't feel good. How….how could I hide the fact that I have such a wonderful friend? You've been one of the dearest, closest friends that I've ever had."

Leaning down, he touched your forehead with his; releasing a breath you didn't know he had been holding. "El mayor - el mayor obstáculo para el amor es… es el temor s-secreto de no ser dignos de ser amados."

"But you are worthy." you reassured him.

"So I am." he accepted.

"Dear, in trying to protect what we have, lying was necessary. Yet, I don't want to pretend that we aren't anything. I love you too much to do that. I don't have any sign or mark of belonging to anyone, and that could've been one of the reasons there were misunderstandings. With V'gha and the others, I was only being friendly."

"I-I know."

"Even if you know, I'm still going to remind you." Resting a hand on his chest, his nervous heart seemed to dance. "Underneath my hand, lies the kind heart of an emotional, passionate genius, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."

Holding you a fraction tighter, his breath ghosted your cheek. "Really?"

"Mhm."

"Can I-I tell you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Everyday with you is better than the last. If we lived on Venus," he chuckled. "our days would've been 5,832 hours long. That's th-the equivalent of 243 Earth days."

"That's a long time. Hmm," you sighed, relishing in the nearness of him; breathing in the scent which wafted off his sweater and labcoat. You thought to yourself, this is how it should always be. "I wish I could've been born sooner so you wouldn't have had to be lonely. If I could've done that much, I would've been able to repay you. Still, despite my disbelief about our relationship at times, it's one of the reasons I carry the necklace. You know, the one you had given me on that memorable day that you were…" you paused as you felt him sag into himself, pulling away from you slightly as though he were ashamed. You continued on. "on that day when those Guard Ricks came because you were needed on the citadel. I regret that I put you through so much stress that day, but I'm glad you don't resent me for it." Pulling out the necklace, you couldn't help but tear up a little. "I look at this beautiful gift every time I need to be reminded that you always believed in me, adored me, and was part of your world."

"Y-you're not part of it, you are my world."

"And you are mine. There's no way I'll ever forget you."

Though, there was a chance you could or that he could have your memories erased; there were things you weren't supposed to know, but did. There had been stranger cases before, and just in case, you had made copies of your memories. "Why, if you ever have to use that memory eraser thing on me or on yourself, I promise I'll remember for the both of us. So please," you urged, giving him a half-impatient, half-loving shake. "don't think that what we have is so easily broken, because I love you and believe in what we are together."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that, but he gave your hands a good squeeze when he came to a resolution. "What if….what if I gave you a sign?"

"I'd think of an Ace Of Base song," you lightly teased. "and then I'd wonder what you could mean."

Rubbing your back, he said above a whisper. "I mean t-t-t-to say, do you…..¿Quieres casarte?"

"What? Did you just…can you repeat that?"

"D-do you want to get married?"

Pulling away from him, you wondered. "Wait, is this real?"

He nodded. "Y-yes."

"And I'm not in a lotus-eater machine right?"

Smoothing out your hair, he confessed. "N-no, I hope not."

After spending days going through multiple simulations, it was easy to assume that everything wasn't real, and was still part of another simulation within a simulation. You pinched yourself and saw that everything was in place. It's not that you weren't happy, it was just that this was a surprise you hadn't been expecting. For his part, he studied you and found that he liked what he saw and pulled out a little box. "I had wanted the moment t-to be perfect, but I don't think that's possible. I can't…..I don't want to be without you anymore."

"I think I need to sit down for this."

Leading you over to the computer chair, you took a seat while he stood before you; antsy and ready to confess. "Mi corazón, I have wanted to do this for so long, but I - I was too afraid t-t-to ask. I think now, I finally can."

Removing his labcoat, and setting it down, he pushed up the sleeve of his sweater; displaying the tattoo he had gotten a few years ago; a single sunflower with such detail it almost looks three dimensional. If it weren’t for the curve of his arm, it would appear that he took the bloom, shrunk it down, and simply laid it on his inner forearm. "When I got this, I wanted something as beautiful as you with me, always, and - and sunflowers are your favorite. You told me they were the epitome of happiness."

You nodded. "My best memories are associated with them."

"I suppose that still holds true, so I'm going to put my faith in that. To explain, I would like to tell you a few things concerning happiness. Everyday I-I go to work, I look forward to the moment I get to see you when I return. Though, when I come home, and the house is quiet, it's easy to remember that I live alone. However, when I see that the pillows have been rearranged in a way I um - in a way I hadn't left them, or find a mug in the sink, or piles of books that hadn't been read yet, I know I'm not alone; that y-you've been here. Gosh," he sniffled, doing his best not to cry. "when I see your sleeping figure on the couch or in the hammock outside, I think to myself that I want this t-t-to be my life. T-to be our life. You're what's missing in th-the equation to my happiness. When I met you, it's like the sun finally came out and I could finally bloom. We might carry bits of - of happiness, but I-I feel incomplete without you by my side. And I think y-you feel the same."

Taking hold of your left hand, he kissed it and his voice was colored with happiness again. In earnest, he wondered. "So, my beautiful little sunflower, as far as getting married is concerned, do you - do you want to?"

Tbc

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